On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Will Smith ON: Owning Your Truth and Unlocking the Power of Manifestation

Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in major league baseball, international banks, kpop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your

Starting point is 00:00:30 podcasts. I am Miyaan Levan Zant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. Does your all are just flopping around like fish out of water? Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spot on the iHeart video app Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Starting point is 00:01:08 What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Do you find yourself wondering when will it all end? Recognizing that much of the world is in a dark place, but you still have the hope and faith that there is a solution. Deep inside, you know you can make a difference. You're

Starting point is 00:01:49 just not sure where to start. How would you feel if I tell you that life coaches are leading the way to guide millions of people to better and a more fulfilled life? And that I have developed an industry certified training program that will get you going to play this valuable role. At the J-Shirtty Certification School, we use proven techniques and methods based on the principles of positive psychology to create possibilities people never thought they could achieve before. These are the same approaches that I've developed during my training as a monk and I'm still using with great success today to make a difference in the work that I do.

Starting point is 00:02:23 I believe that if we can make it a mission to work together to impact more lives more deeply, we can make an incredible difference that will steer the world to a better place for all of us. So are you ready to take the next step to help change the world by becoming a part of the life coach movement? Visit JShettyCoaching.com to speak to us today to find out how you can get started to help make a difference. Hey everyone welcome back to on purpose the Nummon Health Podcast in the world thanks to each and every one of you and I'm so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it my new book 8 Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so so excited

Starting point is 00:03:07 for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight rules of love.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour. Love rules. Go to jsheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year. And today I have a very special episode. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of speaking with a dear friend of mine, someone who I respect

Starting point is 00:03:50 and admire so much, the one and only Will Smith, and I'm not joking you. It's an hour and 45 minutes, but you're going to want to get out your pen and a piece of paper or your note pad or your journal, and you're going to want to take notes. This is, without a doubt, one of of the deepest most reflective conversations that we've ever had on purpose. Will and I have had many of these conversations offline and I can't wait for you to hear it today. It would mean the world to me if you leave a review after you listen to this podcast,

Starting point is 00:04:21 it makes a big difference to on purpose and I can't wait to read some out on the next episode. Are you ready? Let's go. We'll smith everybody. We'll smith everybody. Please welcome. We'll smith. Let's fill it out via honorary.

Starting point is 00:04:34 You know, I want to be an idea. I want to represent possibility. I want to represent magic. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. represent magic. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Today we're going to dive in to the mind, the heart, and the soul of the man behind the movies, and the music, and my dear, dear spiritual brother and friends.

Starting point is 00:05:05 So, without any further ado, I just want to say, I'm grateful, I'm humbled, I'm so happy to have spent so many special moments with you over the past year. This sounds romantic now, my wife's going to get worried again. But I mean it. I'm happy to say, you've been spending a lot of time with Will. Yeah, she's never felt uncomfortable about my relationship, apart from me. The only time she's doubted me is, oh, another trip with Will.

Starting point is 00:05:35 That's what this time she came along. But we certainly have some pictures. Waterfalls, you know. We definitely have some pictures. Waterfalls, you know. Glaciers. Yeah. We definitely didn't even take on the picture. But no, thank you, man.

Starting point is 00:05:52 This is going to be special. And I'm just excited for us to serve together in this way. No, this is fantastic. It's been a long time coming for us to sit down like this for the people listening. It's probably been a long time coming for us to sit down like this for the people listening's probably been a year. We're running up on a year or no, right? It's like, you know, 10 months or something like that.

Starting point is 00:06:14 That I've been studying with Jay, I fell in love with the Bhagavad Gita and Jay and I have been spending time. We've been hanging and we've been traveling together and Jay has really been the catalyst for this next phase of my life. We have committed to one another in a brotherhood of service and support.

Starting point is 00:06:44 I guess we've been in the gym. We've been in the soul gym, working out for the past eight months. And this is really, this is our first time doing anything that's public facing. So I'm excited to talk about what we've been working on. And Jay's been working with my family pretty much every day, a new smith starts to study with Jay. And also, our teacher, Radha Nath Swami,

Starting point is 00:07:17 so it's been a beautiful year. And I'm very excited to start talking to people about what we've been studying and learning and doing together. Absolutely, man. And I also want to say, too, like, I think it's rare where you get to sit down with someone that you've got to know intimately and closely. And also when you sit down, and I've probably watched, I'm trying to think, I think I've

Starting point is 00:07:41 watched every interview you've ever done, like over the years. Before I met you, when I met you, I'm always to think, I think I've watched every interview you've ever done. Like, over the years. Before I met you, whenever you, I'm always talking to you. I'm like, oh, I remember you said this five years ago, or 10 years ago, you were saying this. And when I'm sitting down with you now, I'm thinking, you know, it's, I remember the first time I probably met you was at Willow's birthday a few years back. And everyone was wearing, it was Willowine. So everyone was dressed in costumes and stuff. So I didn't even know it was you.

Starting point is 00:08:05 And then you had like the Zorro kind of mask of your eyes. And so it was a big press. I was like, oh, maybe that's will, maybe that's not. I didn't know. And then you lifted your mask off. And the thing I recognized you about from the moment I met you was just your ability to just be really present and deeply there with everyone you meet.

Starting point is 00:08:25 Yeah. And I felt that from the moment I met you, and then I remember we did the Thanksgiving event at your home. Yeah. And even that day, me and my, me and Rady, you left feeling like, wow, like, Will was just introducing us to everyone and like making an effort for us to feel like family.

Starting point is 00:08:42 And so, but I remember that. And that was the hospitality in Radeefel with you, like that, that ability to care for each person walking in, the family aspect, making us feel welcomed and a part of it, that I just think that that in today's world, that human aspect is what we're all missing.

Starting point is 00:09:00 Yeah, I think that's a part of my DNA, you know, part of it from difficult aspects of my childhood, you know, I grew up with violence in my home, you know. So I developed, you know, a really acute emotional sense out of defense. I just needed to make sure that my father was okay. I needed to make sure things were going well. And I just became really hypersensitive to emotional movement in a room as a defense mechanism. And then as I grew and as I started to develop that heightened sense that started out as defense as I settled down and came into a deeper understanding of my power and my desires in the world,

Starting point is 00:10:01 it was easier to connect to people in a loving way. It transferred easily from a defense mechanism to an ability to love and care for people. Yeah. That's amazing though that you were able to process it positively. I feel like we're living at a time

Starting point is 00:10:21 we've talked about this before that our childhood experiences form our adult desires. Absolutely. And I feel like now people are starting to hear that in the conversation where they're like, oh yeah, because this happened with my parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I feel like this, tell us a bit about what you learned

Starting point is 00:10:39 and how you were able to process it positively and engage with it, rather than create a negative story from it. Because a lot of people may see violence and react differently. Yeah, yeah. I think that there's always an aspect of us that when we feel unloved, you know, in any capacity, in any relationship,

Starting point is 00:11:03 when we feel unloved, when we feel mistreated, when we feel somehow disrespected, it's a natural reaction to want revenge. And I think that's what happens with most people, specifically in our most vulnerable stages when we're children, and we haven't done anything to deserve that kind of treatment. It's really hard for the ego to not click into revenge. So the problem is that when you seek revenge, you destroy yourself.

Starting point is 00:11:41 And that's the paradoxical conflict that we all live in. Someone has mistreated us. We want revenge, but if we take it, we hurt ourselves more. It's crazy. You know what I mean? So that is the as Rada Natswami referred to, the perplexing situation that we find ourselves in. And the only answer is loving kindness. And most of us don't want to hear that. It's like, I'll take my chances with revenge. I'm gonna take my chances with punching his dude in the face or cussing this girl out or whatever it takes,

Starting point is 00:12:29 but I can't do loving kindness. And for me, I had such a beautiful example of loving kindness in my grandmother when I was growing up. I always knew I wanted to be that. The way that she loved and cared for people. I didn't realize that her giving was connected to her peace. That was something that I got a concept of later,

Starting point is 00:12:56 but I always knew that that was my example. And I think that's the critical part. We need an example. Somebody has to be an example. Human beings are creatures of example. We need, you gotta see it. Yeah. So that's really where I am in my life right now.

Starting point is 00:13:16 I want to show what it looks like to be loving and kind and giving and forgiving. And I just wanna model those virtues as best I care. Yeah. You know, the thing you are saying, it's amazing how the thing we think that's gonna help us feel better. Yes.

Starting point is 00:13:38 It actually makes us feel worse. Yeah. And you hold onto it because somewhere inside of you, you feel you have to be the person to show that person The truth like you feel like it's your responsibility The hammer you're gonna be the hammer of justice. Yeah, so you carry that and And it reminds me of there was this thing that this this lesson that we were talking about and sharing in in our meetings was This quote by Russell Barkley where he said

Starting point is 00:14:03 in our meetings was this quote by Russell Barkley, where he said, people who need the most love, ask for it in the most unloving ways. Absolutely. And when you kind of put that in your head, you're like, oh, like that's just a plea, a begging. A begging, yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:20 A literal like, it's not even a proposal, it's like a demand to love. It's a demand, absolutely. And you're saying, and I love what you said then, that's why I'm bringing it back to what I was saying earlier. The reason why I was highlighting the personal aspect of you is that I think that the example that you're setting through who you can be, is even more than what you've done.

Starting point is 00:14:47 What you've done is amazing, and there's nothing to be taken away from it. It's phenomenal what you're achieving and what you continue to achieve. But being able to do that with a loving heart, that must be, I mean, how does that feel in turn to? Does that also feel that way or no? Is that, are you like, no, no, Jay? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Or I can be nice, pick one. Right? And different people pick different things.

Starting point is 00:15:27 Right. You know, it's like, you know, for the type of material world climbing, you know, that I did for a big chunk of my life, it was military-minded. You know, we're gonna get that flag to the top of that hill, and you are gonna help, or you're not gonna be here, right?

Starting point is 00:15:54 So that's one mindset. And then after I got the flag to the hill, a couple of times, he kept getting the flag to the hill and realized that you don't feel good and you've scorched earth. You know, around you. And you're like, nobody's really happy, you know.

Starting point is 00:16:16 And then I started to have to question that mindset. You know, I had one of the greatest runs in Hollywood history. You know, eight number one movies, all over a hundred domestic, biggest global movie star, all it had in my family was a miserable. And I had equated winning with happiness, right? It's like, we're winning. What is your problem?

Starting point is 00:16:44 You know. You know. You know. And the transition from product focus, like military mind, you get to the top of that hill. And then I shifted into a mindset. And it was really my kids who brought me

Starting point is 00:17:01 out of that shift into discovering, like, what the hell, people really care about how they feel. Right? You know, and it's crazy as that sounds. Like, you know, my father wasn't concerned with how I felt, you know. He wasn't concerned with how he felt. He was military minded.

Starting point is 00:17:26 You achieved a mission. And there's two possibilities. When I give you a mission, there's two possibilities. One, you complete the mission, or two, you're dead. You're not. You're not. That's what my father was saying. I grew up with that.

Starting point is 00:17:39 Oh, cool, right. I actually had to discover feelings, right? And start like, I used to have to discover feelings, right? And start like, I used to have to really focus, oh, okay, how's this person feel, how's this person feel, not what do I need them to do, and not they're wasting our time right now, and we're losing time, and we're gonna not finish this mission. Right?

Starting point is 00:17:59 But there is a balance between the mindset of achieving and loving kindness that, There is a balance between the mindset of achieving and loving kindness that, at this point in my life, I've actually discovered the magical balance, but it's really hard to get people to let go of the attack and defend achievement mindset and trust the care and concern for your fellow humans as a way of creating higher production. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:33 Yeah. I hope everyone who's listening and watching right now is taking this in because I think what you're painting is a very transparent, honest picture of our minds. Yeah. Like I can relate to what you're saying. So I can relate to times in my life where I've been so about winning and success and numbers or whatever it may have been.

Starting point is 00:18:55 And I know I'm not even becoming the person I want to be in that process. And I don't even like myself. But because you're choosing to like yourself because of what you're achieving, you're finding a new way to like yourself, but not over who you really are. And so I just hope everyone who's listening and watching, you know, when you speak sometimes will it, so it's so extreme because you've got so close to that emotion that sometimes

Starting point is 00:19:22 people can think, oh no, that's a bit extreme, I'm a bit bit more balanced, but really we all have that kind of, doesn't make sense? Like, we all have a bit of that extreme instinct inside of us in some area of our life. And it's, it's sometimes a delusion to feel, oh, I'm actually balanced. Like, we sometimes listen and go, oh yeah, no, that's him. His father was military. Yeah, yeah, but I'm balanced, you know. We always feel we're balanced. We're better, yeah, exactly. I felt like I was balanced. I felt like I was balanced. And you can learn something from the extremes also, right?

Starting point is 00:19:54 And when you look at athletes, there's a certain extreme mindset that we worship, that there's a poisonous edge to that kind of discipline. And I've been to the edge of that kind of material world discipline in my mind. And I can tell you, you can have a whole lot of stuff and be miserable out there on that edge. And I found a much more comfortable and productive space in my life and you still need that discipline. Yes.

Starting point is 00:20:28 But it is like when you use that kind of power to achieve things, there's a brutal reckoning. Yeah. There's a brutal reckoning at the end of that. The amazing thing about you is you've been on that path in that direction. I think people sometimes see these flips where they're like, oh yeah, now that you are rich and successful and famous,

Starting point is 00:20:52 now you're going this way, but actually, from our conversations and how you've shared with the family or even when we've worked with some of the friends in your life, it's like, this has actually been a long process. This isn't just 10, 12 months. This isn't just a couple of years. This is planted a seed from your grandmother. Yes, absolutely.

Starting point is 00:21:12 Through your whole life, to always be reminded of it, to study spiritual paths, world religions, to study philosophies. Like this is just a long process. Tell me about that belief your grandmother had in you and tell me a bit about how she planted that deep seed because I think what you said at the beginning

Starting point is 00:21:31 that we need that example, I think everyone, if they really reflected, there'd be someone in their life, either indirectly or directly. But sometimes we forget them. But when we've been talking to everything, your grandmother's been such a pivotal figure. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:45 I'd love for you to share what you think she did that was so powerful because maybe there are some parents listening today and brothers and sisters and grandmothers and grandparents listening today and they'll be able to do that for their children and grandchildren. Well, my father, my mother, and my grandmother, whenever I think about the three of them,

Starting point is 00:22:05 I picture a triangle in my mind. And I see like my father was the base as discipline and my mother didn't care about anything but education. Like you had to learn, grow, study, travel. Like my, you know, my mother was really serious like that you had to learn, grow, study, travel. Like my, you know, my mother was really serious about educating the mind. And my grandmother was love and God. My grandmother was that grandmother

Starting point is 00:22:39 at Resurrection Baptist Church. And she had, you know, we were doing our Easter recitations and we was in the nativity, you know. So she was that, she was that grandmother at the church and her life was deeply devoted to God and Jesus in the form of loving service. Right. So the form that it took was she was working hard to love everybody, you know. I remember my grandmother bringing homeless people

Starting point is 00:23:15 into our house when we were little and washing them in our bathtub. I thought that was the nastiest thing. I was like, ah! But she would be in the bathroom with her hands, washing homeless people, you know. And as a child, it was like, no! But as I grew older, I just saw how dedicated and devoted

Starting point is 00:23:42 she was to living her life in service. It took me 50 years to figure out what the secret of that was, you know, but I just watched her. She worked at the graveyard shift at the hospital and she watched us, my brothers and sisters during the day, while my parents were at work, you know, and then when my parents got off work, then she went, she would take a little nap

Starting point is 00:24:10 and then she would go to work at the hospital, you know, and she was the, just the happiest person that I had ever met, nothing face her, she was okay. And I remember I was about 12 and I had started rapping. And you know, so I had my met nothing face, sir. She was okay. And I remember I was about 12, and I had started rapping. And, you know, so I had my rap books. I had all of my little curse words and everything in my rap book. And she found my rap book.

Starting point is 00:24:34 And she never said anything, and she just opened the cover, and she wrote a letter to me. Dear Willard, truly intelligent people do not have to use words like this to express themselves. God has given you the gift of words. Be sure to use those words to uplift people. And I was sitting, I was reading that, and just loved Gigi. And that was part of the reason why I never used profanity in any of my music. And it was like, she missionized me in that way

Starting point is 00:25:19 to make sure that what I was doing was uplifting others. I've always been blessed to be in a position that what I was doing was uplifting others. I've always been blessed to be in a position where I've never had to make a decision like that when you're telling stories. You can always find the part of the story that is a gift for the potential upliftment of somebody that would see it. But yeah, she was all God, all love.

Starting point is 00:25:44 You know, I grew up in a military household. There are certain emotional drawbacks to that. There are intellectual and organizational pluses that are hard to beat. You know, my father was really strict on order organization and the incremental completion of tasks. And you know, also combined with my mother's push on education as a really young child, you know, we had to put hospital corners on our beds and our shoes were lined up. And, you know, at six years old, we were forced to think along those military lines.

Starting point is 00:26:30 And everything was a mission. There was nothing that was a basic task. You weren't just gonna wash the dishes. You know, it was a mission that had to be completed with, you know, military precision down to how much dish dishwashing liquid you're using and how much the bottle cost. And if you use that much and how many dishes do you wash with that amount of dishwashing

Starting point is 00:26:56 liquid, liquid, and how long are you going to be able to use this dishwashing bottle. So you can relate that to how much work you have to do to be able to wash that many. Your dad sounds Indian. Yeah. I have to say. So when is you dad in here? That's more intense.

Starting point is 00:27:17 Yeah, you know, so it was really, you know, his mind was like that and I took, you know, we always take the things we hate the most from our parents, but, you know, from that, the gift of structure and the gift of breaking tasks down into smaller manageable pieces was a thing that I came out of my childhood with.

Starting point is 00:27:42 Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app,

Starting point is 00:28:10 or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani, and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere, and their toxic behavior and words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money you took.

Starting point is 00:28:45 But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

Starting point is 00:29:11 you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oh, pro. most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant. The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters.

Starting point is 00:29:36 Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Lurus Hamilton, that's for me being, taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself.

Starting point is 00:29:49 And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours.

Starting point is 00:30:06 Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. This is one of my favorite parts about talking to you because of this ability to turn those into gifts. Yeah. And I want to just emphasize that point to everyone

Starting point is 00:30:25 who's listening and watching again, because I think we're living in a time right now where there's a lot of bitterness towards parents and what we've received. And rightly so as well, like some things are, you know, quite hard to deal with that level of trauma, et cetera, but at the same time, when we start looking at our lives this way,

Starting point is 00:30:44 not in a fake way or in genuine way, but really start to process some of these things to see the powers that it gave us. Absolutely. All the superheroes that we all love in sci-fi movies, they all got their powers from bad things that happened to them. That's exactly right. No one ever had something good happen to them.

Starting point is 00:30:59 And then they, for Spider-Man, he got bit by a spider. Spider-Man, for this person, got band and vice then for this person, like, got banded in by his friends. Like, all the superheroes we all love and worship, all got their powers from something that happening to them. Yeah, you know, it's really difficult to say that to someone in the middle of the throws. And you shouldn't. We've talked about that, right?

Starting point is 00:31:22 But, you know, from sitting on this side of the experiences that I've shared in my life and in my experience, there's no such thing as a bad experience, right? There's experiences you don't like. And they hurt. And they hurt, right? But to define something as a bad experience, for me, has not been true. Everything that's ever happened to me in my life that at the time

Starting point is 00:31:55 was deeply traumatic and debilitating. You know, there's, you know, been only two times in my life when I contemplated suicide. Wow. It's been two times in my life. The once was when my mother and father separated when my parents broke up and I was 12. And that was one of the only serious times in my life that I contemplated suicide. But even out of that, as I look back on that,

Starting point is 00:32:29 the pain of that experience cultivated devotion in my life to my family. And I just never wanted to have my children suffer that. And of course, you know, I've got divorced from Sheree, so that was, I was recreating that situation, but it woke me up in a way that forced me to try to connect with my children.

Starting point is 00:33:02 So the negative experiences or the things that were awful at the time, there's always the other side of the coin. And in my experience, I've cultivated only positive things out of the most negative experiences of my life. My father's death and the six weeks up to my father's death, was probably the most formative time in my life. And as painful as it was, and as difficult it wasn't

Starting point is 00:33:35 all the stuff that came up during the time, I still, it was a powerful, formative, positive experience in my life. Tell us a bit about that, if you don't mind about why you felt it was formative. And, you know, we've talked about this, like, the idea of, like, sometimes people regret of what they did or didn't say to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or maybe what they expected of their parent. What was it that was so powerful that allowed you to feel that way about that moment.

Starting point is 00:34:05 I got a gift that some people don't get. And it was that the doctors told us he had six weeks to live, and then he lived for four months. So most people don't get a warning. You just get the call one day, and you just didn't get a chance. And when I found out that he was dying, it just by the grace of God was in the middle

Starting point is 00:34:31 of the shooting, I was doing a movie called Collateral Beauty. And it was about a guy dealing with the death of his daughter. So I was into the Tibetan book of Levin and Diane and reading all the Elizabeth Kubler, just reading all this stuff about death. So I've been programmed for six months and I read and studied all of these books about death and grief and dying.

Starting point is 00:34:59 And then I get the message, I sat down with my father. father and of course I had all of my traumas and all of my issues and everything with them, but I had also been six months of programming of all of the things that you're supposed to do to prepare yourself for the death of a loved one. You know, so I sat with them and we talked about everything. So I said everything that I wanted to say, and we got to those six weeks, we were clear. But then he lived for another three months.

Starting point is 00:35:36 So what happened was every meeting, every time I saw him, I was flying back to the LA, but every time I saw him, was was flying back to the LA, but every time I saw him, it was like, oh, thank God. Yeah. And then every time we say goodbye, we made sure we said a good, thorough, full goodbye because we knew at any moment that it could actually be the last goodbye.

Starting point is 00:35:57 But the lesson was, it's always like that. When we say goodbye, we can't know if this is the last time we will ever see. You should never greet someone casually or say goodbye to someone casually. And that lesson came from that experience. Every moment was so rich. Every time we saw each other, and every time we said goodbye,

Starting point is 00:36:24 we made sure it was a good, thorough, full goodbye. That's how you're supposed to live every day anyway. Every time you leave your house could be the last time. You're supposed to be in the richness of your hellos and goodbyes and thank yous. You know, sorry, I learned that lesson with my father. And then when he passed, we were finished. Just the lesson of that kind of presence,

Starting point is 00:36:56 and that kind of attention, and that kind of recognition that tomorrow's not promised. He didn't shake an out of thinking that you're gonna have tomorrow. Anybody who hasn't spoken to their parents or their brother or their cousin that they had a thing with or their ex and they don't talk anymore, call them right now. Don't think you're gonna have a chance to call them tomorrow or next week.

Starting point is 00:37:24 And it's like that opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life. I've cleaned all of the relationships in my life to no regret. I do not want someone to be gone and I wish I had and wish I could have and I'm just, I'm not doing that in my life. That's beautiful, man.

Starting point is 00:37:49 Thank you for sharing that. That's just, hearing you say that, I think there's a lot of people who need it to hear that. And I'm hoping everyone's gonna pick up the phone and message, and if that person's not here anymore, still write them a letter. Right, absolutely. If they're not here anymore

Starting point is 00:38:01 and you didn't get a cell of that right to letter, read it out to them, read it to a picture of them if that's what it takes. Absolutely. Allow yourself to share and express, don't hold it in and hold it back, because somehow that energy will still reach that person and that energy's left you too.

Starting point is 00:38:18 So even if you can't call someone up today, make sure you follow the same practice because it's never worth it. And I love that idea of valuing each hello and goodbye. And not taking it for granted or taking it lightly. You never know whatever's gonna happen, right? You just have no idea. And unfortunately, we see it.

Starting point is 00:38:40 This is the, there's actually a beautiful, I don't know if we've ever talked about this, there's a beautiful piece in the Mahabharat, which is the geet is a small part of. And one of the students asked the teacher, he said, what's the most amazing thing in the world? And the teacher responds and says, the most incredible, amazing thing in the world is that we see people leave all around us, but we never think it's going to be us. I never.

Starting point is 00:39:04 Like, so you see it and you have that moment again and again. And then you lose someone in your life and you think, oh, that could be me, or that could be someone else. And you live like that for a day. And then the complacency sets back in. Absolutely. Tell us a bit about, you know, you've been studying world religions and spiritual paths

Starting point is 00:39:20 for a long time. Absolutely. And the first time I officially reached out to you and your team and everyone was because I saw that you'd been reading the Gita. And the Gita was obviously the book that I read and studied so deeply and fell in love with and after having studied world religions myself too.

Starting point is 00:39:37 And I've had beautiful experiences reading the Bible and the Quran and the Gita. And so when I saw you talking about it when you were in India, I was just like, wow, this is amazing, I'm already a huge fan. I love Worsmith, how is Will reading the Gita? I was like, how did that even happen? And then when I got to knew you and Jada and spoke to a family, I realized that you'd

Starting point is 00:39:57 taken on a challenge to study a world religion every year. Tell us about that and what you learned along the way. What were some of the traditions that stood out in your journey? And what did you learn from them? Whether it was the Kabbalah or even Scientology? All those things. You've shared so many beautiful lessons with me

Starting point is 00:40:14 from what you've studied. Yeah. And I'd love to pass them on. I guess probably in the first 10 years of our marriage, that was me and Jada's bonding. Every year we would pick a spiritual tradition and we would study it all all the way through. But yeah, tell them me about even why you and Jada decided to do that. When we got married, we were trying to decide what church we were going to get married

Starting point is 00:40:46 and we're going to get married in Baltimore, or Philly, and who was going to be the priest? You know, Jada didn't want to do any of that. Jada wanted for she and I to go to a mountain, you know, pledge our love and devotion to one another to God. I think the discussion about the religious background we would raise our children in is what came up

Starting point is 00:41:13 when we first got married. And she grew up in a thing called the Ethical Society in Baltimore and they would honor the different religions. And my background, I grew up, I went to Baptist Church, I went to a Catholic school. So I was surrounded by religious traditions growing up. And somewhere in that first decade of our marriage, we were like, oh, wouldn't it be hot,

Starting point is 00:41:44 if we could say, we were like, oh, wouldn't it be hot if we could say that we had read, covered a cover, all of the major holy books. And we started with the Bible, and I just remember seeing her Bible was, you know how I do my books, and obviously, all my books are highlighted all the way through. And she completed the entire Bible seven months before me.

Starting point is 00:42:11 So now it's on. So then when it came time for the Quran, I wanted to win. Right. But we would take a year and we would study all of these traditions as a, you know, really as a way of the two of us bonding spiritually and, you know, intellectually around the concepts and, you know, we went through Kabbalah and, you know, Scientology. And really what was happening is every time I would meet someone who was of a different tradition,

Starting point is 00:42:50 I would allow that person to introduce me to what their tradition was. And then I did Ali. And so we circle back around to the Quran during that time. But we really just, we love the idea of spirituality and the study of the love of God. And we don't necessarily believe in organized religion. We believe that the organizations kind of jump ahead of the spirituality.

Starting point is 00:43:25 You know, the church of Christ is very different than Christ. The steps that Christ actually walked, you know, so we started to notice those kinds of differences and we just, we really just wanted to find the truth. You know, what is the truth? And you see how my whole family dives and the kids are doing it now, you know, with the the Gita.

Starting point is 00:43:51 And it's really just trying to find our way, you know, in this world. Yeah, and I loved that. And I was so fascinated by that myself because I saw that within myself. And so when I saw it with you and the family, I was so drawn to that because, yeah, I think that a lot of what we're trying to figure out

Starting point is 00:44:14 in today's world has been suffered for long enough in an internal way that when you're diving into these books of wisdom, there's just so much there to enough, because people have been through the same challenges for decades and decades and decades. The problems have already been solved. Yeah. I'm lived, I'm lived, long enough.

Starting point is 00:44:35 And solved, you know. And it's like at the core, how you treat your neighbor is central, right? It's absolutely. Yet somehow, people manage to twist, you know, in all the faiths and all back times. Contently. People do unto others as you would have them do unto you is very clear. If you asked yourself that question,

Starting point is 00:45:09 well, in this situation, how would I have them do unto me? And you did that. You'd never have a problem. Because the answer is never going to be, I think they should curse me out and spit on me and what my ass because I was tripping. It's the most simple yet the most profound and yeah. Our teachers in the Ashram would always tell us, and I've said this to you before, but they'd always tell us that these principles, you'll learn them on day one, you'll think that you know them on day two,

Starting point is 00:45:45 but you spend your whole life trying to realize. Yes. And that's the challenge with us. We take what we learn on day one and what we know on day two to be like, I already know that. Yes, exactly. And then the teaching doesn't,

Starting point is 00:45:57 what I love about what we've been doing is like, the teaching gets to reveal itself to you. It's like it's always opening up. It's like a lotus you. It's always opening up. It's like a lotus flower. It's always blooming. It's not like, oh, it's open now, it doesn't matter. It's always opening up to you. And if you give it that time and patience,

Starting point is 00:46:15 then you can truly see it grow and bloom into something. But if you just try and force it open, it just, I mean, if you forced a flower open, it would just bring it in. That's what happens. What I say to you all the time is, to give people a sense of it. So we were doing two to four hours a day,

Starting point is 00:46:43 a few days a week for months. For months, yeah. for hours a day, you know, a couple, you know, a few days a week for months. For months, yeah. For months, you know, and, you know, we were spending as much time together as we were, would spend with our families or other things. So we've logged some real hours

Starting point is 00:47:02 in this last year. And the thing that was always amazing to me is that we could take eight hours, right? And we spend it and we get it and we study, we do all of that. And you leave my house and I pick up my phone. Like literally we would do eight hours. And I'm great. like literally we would do eight hours. It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Literally in 45 seconds, my mind could get triggered

Starting point is 00:47:46 back into that mindset. You know, I know now that that's just, it's every day. Yeah. You know, you don't get to know it and be done. Like, it's a daily practice for the rest of your life to be able to deal with the foolishness of this world in a way that's productive and kind. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:12 Now everyone knows I'm terrible at what I do. What? I know. It's like, as soon as you had the new idea, that's like, oh wow, like, Jay, you're really bad at this. Oh, Jay, you should have left will, but a little more

Starting point is 00:48:25 girth than me. I know. You can't even last two seconds with that. That's terrible. Well, you're working with years of sediment. You're the last life times. Like, the conditioning is so strong. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:41 And it's almost like when we start to do the work, you're walking into a garden full of weeds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's almost like when we start to do the work, you're walking into a garden full of weeds. Yeah, yeah. So all the flowers are covered, all the beauty of the garden is covered in weeds. And so you cut it down the weeds. But because you've been watering the weeds for so long, they keep growing back.

Starting point is 00:48:58 They keep growing back. And so you keep cutting them down, and they keep growing back. And it's the example, the analogy of the mirror that's given in the Vedic tradition around, how when you walk in and you try and clean a mirror that hasn't been cleaned for lifetimes, it's dusty. And so when you start cleaning it, the dust comes up in your face and you're like,

Starting point is 00:49:15 oh, I can't see, I can't see. And that's what we're all going through. And because we're so disconnected from nature, our mindset has become instant. Yeah. And our mindset has become now. Whereas when you watch nature, nature's never-instead. Yeah. I call that hunting versus farming. Right. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead. Hunting versus farming where people just let's just let's get it. Let's get it and eat.

Starting point is 00:49:42 Right? That's a great idea. I love that. I love that. You know, versus now, we're gonna, like, we're gonna play a rock. We're gonna play a rock. We're gonna play a rock.

Starting point is 00:49:51 I love that. Yeah, because it's the idea that if you, if me and you said we wanna plant a tree, you'd have to come back to that tree every day to see how it was doing. Yeah. And it wouldn't be a tree for many, many years, but you'd have come back every day, water it,

Starting point is 00:50:06 sunlight, move it, replant the soil. And that's what we're doing with ourselves, but for some reason, because we're so disconnected from nature now, we think that, oh, if I just meditate today, then it's, you know, it's like saying, oh, I'll eat today and I don't have to eat tomorrow. Oh, yeah, right.

Starting point is 00:50:22 Or I shall have lost the wheelchair. I'll go this week, I. This week I'm good. But yeah, it's, you know, and I, again, it was your commitment. I remember when we were on that first phone call and I was like, you were like, oh yeah, I want to work on this. I was like, how much time do you have? How much time do you have? And I would, you know, you will smear something in, you know,

Starting point is 00:50:38 at any time. And I don't know how serious you get yet. I'm not aware yet of how immersed and obsessed you get with yourself. I'm still learning about you. And then you're like, I've got two hours. And I was like, oh, two hours a week, two hours a week, two hours a week, two hours a day.

Starting point is 00:50:54 Two hours a day. And I was like, wow, he's real. I was like, he's serious. So I was like, wow, he's for real. And then, you know, it was just, it was, and I'd go away and you reinspired so much of my own study. And that's what I was telling to you over Christmas,

Starting point is 00:51:13 which is when we kind of broke off as I went to London and you've been traveling. It's like, I spend the whole of Christmas reading myself for four to eight hours a day, meditating again. That's beautiful. Because I felt I had to be more to give you more. That's beautiful.

Starting point is 00:51:28 And I think that that was such a gift you gave me where I felt back in love with what I fell in love with years ago. That's beautiful. Because of the work we were doing. Yeah. And because when you're answering someone's questions, you have to read deeper and think more and reflect more. And so for me, I went away from those meetings going,

Starting point is 00:51:47 gosh, I better start reading more. That's not the end. But that's what's so beautiful about sharing something like that together. The central focus of my life and everything that I've done has been centered on having a successful love relationship, right? So I saw my parents when they were growing up and I hated that my parents marriage deteriorated and you know as young as

Starting point is 00:52:23 I can remember five, six years old, I wanted to be married, I wanted to have a family. I've never been the guy that wanted to do three sums and groupies, and I like, I've never been that guy. I always wanted to commit and have a single successful relationship. So the scientist in my mind and in my study of spiritual text and things like that,

Starting point is 00:52:50 I've always been looking for the secret to successful love relationships. And then as I've grown, it's sort of expanded and I'm seeing the through line, oh, the same basic ideas are successful parenting and the same basic ideas are being successful follower or successful leader or successful student and I started to see the problem is almost exclusively

Starting point is 00:53:19 a lack of understanding of the other person's perspective. Right? lack of understanding of the other person's perspective. And if you have a difficulty with another human being, there's some point of ignorance and some point of delusion that are keeping you from being able on both sides. And you are always bringing poise into the party. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive

Starting point is 00:53:50 with the Before Breakfast Podcast. In each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam, teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age,

Starting point is 00:54:09 learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Yvonne Gloria. I'm Maite Gomes-Rajón. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast hungry for history.

Starting point is 00:54:24 On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Corner flower. Both. Oh, you can't decide.

Starting point is 00:54:41 I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower. Your team flower? I'm team flower. I need a decide, I love both. You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower. Your team flower? I'm team flower. I need a shirt. Team flower, team core.

Starting point is 00:54:48 Join us as we explore surprising and lesser known corners of Latinx culinary history and traditions. I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge tortillas to keep it warm and he was transporting them in in Avurro hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalongoria and Maite Gomez-Rejon as part of the Micoltura Podcast Network

Starting point is 00:55:12 available on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Mianda, and on my podcast, the R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need. And insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell. Just like the rest of us.

Starting point is 00:55:48 When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes and I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the art spot on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you can focus on locating and purifying the poison you brought, it opens up entirely new avenues of connection and compromise and solutions that you can create with a person. You know, that has really been the central focus of my life and being an actor has been spectacular

Starting point is 00:56:47 in that way because my life is exploring my mind, you know, and changing it, right? When I play a character who believes something that I don't believe, I have to learn how to feel something that's in opposition to my truth, which is a spectacular skill set to have to uproot beliefs, implant new ideas, and have them blossom on camera at the right moment. You know, it's been such a powerful inner process of development to explore acting in conjunction with spirituality and supreme absolute truth. You know, to explore that as a job is fantastic. Everyone should be trained as an actor.

Starting point is 00:57:45 When you first said that to me, when you first said that to me, I was like, I never thought of it, and obviously I'm not an actor, and so I wouldn't know that, but when you said that to me, I was like, wow, that's like how people should be taught, how to be students.

Starting point is 00:57:58 Right. Because the idea that you have the skill set, and it's a skill, to put your beliefs aside. Yes. And go, I need to live by the beliefs that this character would die for. Absolutely, yes. And what would they be willing to die for?

Starting point is 00:58:12 Yes. And then you're experimenting with it. Yes. And then you can see whether you like it or not. Right, absolutely. And how it feels, whereas most of us are so grounded in our own beliefs that we don't know how to take that hat off. Right.

Starting point is 00:58:22 And put another one on. Absolutely. And that's where all of our issues come from, because that story of someone else. Yeah. Someone that you know that did that extremely well in probably the most difficult circumstances with Nelson Mandela.

Starting point is 00:58:36 Yes, absolutely. You know, you've spoken by many times. You've spoken about it in public many times. I've found this clip of you guys together. Oh, you know. That I love. That I have to show you. It's a while ago, but it's really, I watched this whole thing.

Starting point is 00:58:51 I would watch anyone is watching. You have to go watch the whole thing. I'm only showing Will a short clip that it's this clip here. I don't know if you remember. I was saying to you, I'm an actor. I make rap music. That's what I do.

Starting point is 00:59:08 What can I do? And you know, I sat with Mr. Mendel and was so inspired. You know, you want to immediately, you want to quit your job. You know, and you want to go out in the streets, you know, and you want to fight. And he said, no, you have to understand the power of what it is that you do. You have to understand the hope that is created by the work that you create.

Starting point is 00:59:31 And he told me that don't not to force it that the call would speak to me. And today the call has spoken to me and I humbly, gratefully and will aggressively respond. And thank you. Remember. Oh, that's well-o-sale, Nick. Oh, wow. This is a good thing.

Starting point is 00:59:56 Wow. Goodness. I've gotten about that. Willow. That was engineering. That's wild. Wow have to pay my money. That's why I'll have to pay my money. That's why I'll have to pay my money. That's why I'll have to pay my money. That's why I'll have to pay my money. I mean, there are so many, I could show you. That was one I paid. There was so many. That's fantastic. Two to four clips of YouTube together.

Starting point is 01:00:38 No, that was, but I was sitting with Mr. Mandela. It may have even been that day. And we were sitting and was calm. He just had this look on his face. And I said, uh, what's that look on your face? And he was kind of looking. He was just watching people. I said, you know something that the rest of us don't know. He definitely did.

Starting point is 01:00:57 He looked at me and he, the look that I recognized now was, he said, oh, it was like, that's the right question. And he said, you come spend some time with me, I'll teach you. And somehow I was so, just felt so unworthy of that. He reached out to me every year before he died. And you know, he said, I'm an old man, you need to come spend some time with me.

Starting point is 01:01:35 And I just felt unworthy, you know. And he wanted to teach me what we're studying. You know, I've tasted a little bit of what he wanted to teach me. And the question is, how can you smile in this world? You know, because you're not gonna change it. You know, you're gonna do your part, but this world is chaotic and it's brutal and it can be really unloving.

Starting point is 01:02:22 And how do you do your part with a smile on your face? You know? And it was really beautiful. One of the few things, not even, you know, I know things happen in there in their times. It's not a regret, regret, regret, but it's like a regret. I always say to you that it's the fact that you didn't go because you felt unworthy, is at least from the traditions I've studied would be considered an extremely good spiritual

Starting point is 01:02:55 qualification for learning. Like when we think it's weird, like spiritual life is like it's teaching you self-worth without having low self-esteem. Yes, yeah, yeah. But it's, and you said it once in an interview or was speaking about Nelson Mandela, you said like, you know, it was like being in his presence made you realize how small you were.

Starting point is 01:03:14 Yes, yeah. But how big you could be. How big, yes. You said that, and when I heard you said that, I'm gonna start saying that again. Yeah. That's good stuff. Yeah, you said that, you said that.

Starting point is 01:03:24 And it was, when Yeah, you said that, you said that. And when I heard you say that, I was like, that is spiritual self-worth. Like, we live in a world today with self-worth or self-belief, so all that. On the best, like, I own this, like, I'm worthy of everything. Like, of course Nelson Mandela wants to spend time

Starting point is 01:03:39 with me. I'm gonna use him. Like, that's material self-worth. But it's fickle and it's boring. It has no bass to it. It's bass to it. Whereas that feeling of like, as you said, that when I'm with him or when I was around him,

Starting point is 01:03:54 I realized how small I was, but how big I could be, that spiritual self-worth. And I think people often confuse humility with weakness or with low self-esteem. Like, oh, well, you weakness or with low self-esteem. Like, oh, well, you must have had low self-esteem. But it's not. It's just the idea that I still have to evolve a little bit to feel like. And, you know, you-

Starting point is 01:04:15 To deserve his time and attention. Yeah, and because you had that, I feel, you know, you've continued in your way to find the- and he's still involved in your life I think that's the beauty of someone loves you that much They don't stop like your grandmother. Yeah, she didn't stop being involved in your life And I felt every time you've spoken about him that you brought him into my life just by speaking about him and now and to everyone else's life even more and

Starting point is 01:04:43 And you know, I'm sure, you know, obviously I can't speak on his behalf at all, but all I can say is that his energy is still in your life. Yeah, that's real. He lives through it. That is real. Yeah, it's beautiful.

Starting point is 01:04:55 But I want to talk about a few more things before I let you go. There's, I could talk to you forever, so we do do that, so I won't do that today. But I wanted to talk to you about when you mentioned, because I came back to this, because this was the initial statement that was like, I need to get to know Will.

Starting point is 01:05:11 And it was when you said that you were channeling you're in a Arjun. Yeah, yeah. And you said that, and I was just like, what have I, but tell me about why Arjun as a character for you has been, because you even, and I think this is because of you and your storytelling, you even brought Arjun in my life, more to life.

Starting point is 01:05:29 So tell me a bit about why Arjun was so synonymous with you. And... You're not so, for people that don't know, he's a wonderful archer, he's the best archer in the world, and his family trips out and take the kingdom and they're like, you know, they snatch his wife and they're trying to disrobe his wife and he's looking like, yeah, what are y'all joking doing?

Starting point is 01:05:54 Like, and he comes home and he's like, and they seize the kingdom and he can't believe that they have done this. And he, you know And he's a warrior. He could get the kingdom back. But these are his uncles and his brothers and laws and his teachers and people that he loved and trusted and they took his kingdom.

Starting point is 01:06:21 And they prepared an army and they're going to fight Arjuna and he's devastated that his family and his friends and all of that for material gain would do this to him. And he's deeply pious. And they prepare an army, the greatest army that's ever been assembled, except that they don't know that God is driving Arjuna's chariot. And they think they're going to tear through Arjuna, they're going to do all of this, but God is driving our Junet's chariot, right? And even in that, he's like, how can me killing all of my family be the right answer? Right? And on the other side of that, he's like, well, I'll just let them kill me. I'm not

Starting point is 01:07:28 doing that. There's no version of me going into battle with them. I don't care how wrong they are, I don't care. And it's, and as I just got deeper and deeper into that story, it's like, I feel like that all the time, right? I feel like I'm in what Rodinath Swamy referred to as a perplexing situation. Always, always, right? That I feel stuck in a perplexing situation with people I love where there's not clean answers. where there's not clean answers.

Starting point is 01:08:10 And I always feel strong enough, like, if you wanna fight, we can fight, I know how to fight, but how can that be the right thing, you know? And I just really related to how the Gita handles those kinds of perplexing situation. And that, it was the first time that I'd ever heard the spiritual idea like that, that life is a perplexing situation and you're never gonna get around being stuck in the duality.

Starting point is 01:09:06 You have to elevate above the whole thing, you know. And the Christian concept about that, that I always heard and never understood fully, and my grandmother was there all the time, you gotta let go and let God. Yeah. Right? And it was like that. My grandmother was saved all the time. You gotta let go and let God. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:25 And it was like that. It just, you know, the, the, the, the, the Gita filled in that concept of what it really means. It doesn't mean don't do anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let go and let God doesn't mean don't do anything.

Starting point is 01:09:39 It means do your divine duty. Whatever that may be. And just for whatever reason, the study of the Gita, at this particular point in my life really clarified a lot of ideas of how to move through a world where you almost can't do it right. where you almost can't do it right. Right? Right.

Starting point is 01:10:08 And it's like there's a, there's God's plan of practical joke. Right? And when you start seeing that there's a trick in there. You know, and then the, the Gita illuminated that trick for me in a way. I was like, how could I be the biggest movie star in the world, be the best at all of this?

Starting point is 01:10:32 And how you're not love me. Right? Right. Right. And you know, how was my family miserable? And it's like, that's the trick. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Starting point is 01:10:48 You don't have to practice the joke. That's beautiful. Yes, man. Because it's the perception of the right reaction. Yes. That's where we get lost. Yeah. For us, something, what, going back to what you said at the beginning,

Starting point is 01:11:04 you were like, there's no such thing as a bad experience. Right. We're looking at the result of our activity. Absolutely. As a signal of how well we're living. Yes, absolutely. And that messes us up because the result of your activities is not under your control. Yes, absolutely.

Starting point is 01:11:23 And so if you're living your life based on the result of your activities, being a signal that you're successful, you're setting yourself up to, absolutely. And all of us do it all the time. I was using Jada's reaction to my actions as a measure of the quality of my actions. And one thing has nothing to do with the other.

Starting point is 01:11:48 Right. And that's not what we're taught. And the concept that someone's reaction to your behavior is theirs and your behavior is yours. And when you try to marry the two, when you try to use the outcome as a measure of the quality of your own being, that is the kiss of death. Correct. The way that this material world works, you can do everything right, and it still go wrong in terms of outcome.

Starting point is 01:12:34 And you can do everything wrong, and it still goes right in the outcome. In the outcome, the outcome is not connected to the quality of your behavior. And that is such a hard idea to digest. So I am certain and I am committed to being who I am and how I wanna be without a craving for someone's approval. Because I know there are approval who I am and how I want to be without a craving

Starting point is 01:13:05 for someone's approval. Because I know there are approval doesn't have anything to do with me. You know, sometimes we get stuck in these situations where we're seeking the approval of someone for our self-esteem. Yes. Right.

Starting point is 01:13:24 Self-esteem is about yourself. Right? But we start looking to other people for our self-esteem. And you know, sometimes we find ourselves looking in broken mirrors to get a reflection of ourselves. broken mirrors to get a reflection of ourselves, right? And the greatest tragedy is when you look into a broken mirror to see if you're pretty, and you're gonna let that person tell you about your inner qualities. And the greatest tragedy is when you look in a broken mirror, and you're gonna change your face to try to look good in a broken mirror and you're gonna change your face

Starting point is 01:14:05 to try to look good in a broken mirror. Man, I'm so glad to be free from that. That was fantastic. Yeah, that is incredible. And that's it. That's literally it. When you can free yourself from that cycle. Yeah, it's rough. It's crazy, it just keeps you there.

Starting point is 01:14:32 And to see you at this stage in your career to still be growing, still be pushing. I mean, for people who don't know, I have to share this because it's what I find, and this is the only time I get to tell everyone, is, you know, like, for me to see you on set, busy, like, you know, I mean, for anyone who's never been on set, it can be a stressful environment.

Starting point is 01:14:56 You're, it's high pressure, like, you're acting, you gotta know your lines, you gotta interact. And- The sun's going down. The sun's going down. The sun's going down. The sun's going down. Well, it would literally come back in the trailer and he'd be reading in between being on set.

Starting point is 01:15:11 So reading, spiritual text, spiritual books in between. And I just saw that. I was like, wow, it takes so much effort and determination and hunger to be filling each and every gap with growth. And so for anyone who's listening to this podcast while they're driving to work, while they're commuting, while they're editing a video, however you're consuming this podcast,

Starting point is 01:15:35 I want you to know, like you're doing that same thing, you're committing to growth. Committing to grow. In your gaps when you could just be doing something else. Like you could have been in your trailer, I don't know, doing what people do in their trailers. I don't know, I don't know what people do in their trailers. No, that's my past, Jamie.

Starting point is 01:15:49 I don't know. I'll do that in my trailer no more. Yeah, and you're by myself now. All with me. Yeah, and you know, and we were, you know, and just I would see that dedication. And I think if, you know, to find time in between when you're filming a movie and it's, you know, big budgets and all this, everything.

Starting point is 01:16:07 And your focus was here. Yeah, yeah. Your focus was here, even amongst all of that. That was truly inspirational. And, you know, that behind the scenes, look at your internal journey has had such a big impact on my life. It's a no excuses, J. Yeah. There's only one thing to do, and that's to learn, right?

Starting point is 01:16:32 We have to free ourselves from the darkness of our own ignorance. You wouldn't call something a problem if you understood it. The problem is you don't understand it. Right? That's why you're calling it a problem, right? You don't call things problems that you have complete comprehension of. The process of freeing yourself from your problems

Starting point is 01:17:02 is in constantly cultivating a broader comprehension of the deeper truth of what's actually happening, right? And one of the things that I learned is that if I feel bad, if I'm unhappy, if I'm upset, if I'm disrupted or disturbed, the only thing that could do that is my ignorance. That's the only thing that creates misery is you slip into a sort of hopelessness of not being able to figure it out. Life is school, you know?

Starting point is 01:17:47 You're not getting the promotion you want at work. That's school, get it and figure it out. You know, someone in your family is sick. That's school, that's like, life is the greatest teacher there is you just have to be willing to learn and recognizing that your pain and your suffering is the thing that the universe is poking at. So you recognize that's where you're ignorant. You wouldn't be having those struggles in those areas if you had a deep, broad comprehension

Starting point is 01:18:30 of the fundamental realities of those situations. Yeah, it's so beautifully said again, it's we're programmed to believe that life is for enjoyment. Right. But actually it's for education. For education, yes. And we But actually it's for education. For education, yes. And we keep seeking enjoyment in the education. Yes.

Starting point is 01:18:50 So we're trying to think we're in a candy shop, but we're in a classroom. Yeah, I call that the poisoned honey scenario. Right, you're seeking enjoyment. You want something sweet and you don't recognize that that honey's poisoned. Right, it's gonna be sweet going down, but it's, you know, the kickback on that thing

Starting point is 01:19:09 is something terrible. Yeah. Yeah. And we see that. We see that in, we've talked about this concept before and you brought it up, you were like, you know, the sacred clown. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:19 As always being the emblem and the symbol. And again, it's God's gift where you get to entertain, make people laugh, but you want to help people grow through that. Absolutely. And that's really hard to do, but you do, that's you, that's who you are. Tell us about how that's now coming through in the work you're doing, how you've actually brought this into reality, because sometimes you can feel very heady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've really been working hard on taking it out of the head into the heart and into the world.

Starting point is 01:19:50 Yeah, and that was that, that was one of the things about Aladdin that was so defining for me, you know, and that, that concept of the sacred clown, I had written that down in one of my books, you know, five or six years ago, and it's like at my core that's, either who I am or who I want to be, but it's in there, it's in there, it's in there,

Starting point is 01:20:13 it's in there really deep, and in playing the genie, it was like, oh, I was at home, right? That combination of fun, light silliness, and that's who I wanna be in the world. I wanna be Sigen and Dancing and being silly and playing and all of that. And then sneaking ideas in under the joy. But I had heard that I think was the Lakota Indians

Starting point is 01:20:46 or something like that. Native Americans, yeah. They had the image of the sacred clown. Which is often considered negative. Yeah, right, yeah. Yeah, but it's like I connected to it. It's like, oh, that's right. That's what the singing and dancing and all of the joy

Starting point is 01:21:03 and all of the smiling and and all of the smiling, and all of that is for, it's a just a beautiful conduit for the ideas. And that's just at my core, that's, I'm happiest in that space. Yeah, beautiful. Well, I could talk to you for hours and we will. Hey, well, I'm sure we will. But I'm gonna let you, I'm gonna ask you

Starting point is 01:21:28 what I call the final five. These are one word answers. One word answer. One word to one sentence, the FAS-5. Okay, FAS-5. Rosemind, these are your FAS-5. The first is, what is the best advice you've ever received? The best advice I've ever received.

Starting point is 01:21:44 The first day I've ever received. The first day I got on the tour bus when we were leaving for the first time leaving Philly, me and Jeff and all our squad. The last thing my grandmother said as the door was closing, she said, hey, lover boy, remember, be nice to everybody you pass on your way up because you just might have to pass them again on your way down. And I was like, that always stuck with me. I love that. That's great. All right, second question. What's the worst advice you ever received?

Starting point is 01:22:19 The worst advice. My boy Charlie Mack, Charlie Mack told me, he said, Amen, listen, listen, listen. The way you make a woman love you, to make a woman love you, you take out the dinner, you know, and then as you go and out to place, you just knock somebody out. Cause a woman got to know you could defend it. You just knock somebody out.

Starting point is 01:22:41 And if you knock, if you knock, and it can be a stranger, and you just knock somebody out and she see your strength. And that's how she'll feel confident. And it changes everything. It changes your sexual life. It just changes everything about it. But you got to get them good and just knock somebody out.

Starting point is 01:22:58 Did you try? No, never, never, never try. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Oh, man. If you were to try it, I could. Yeah, and I never tried that. Well, I kind of felt that that was bad advice in the moment. Third question. One thing you learned from observing the life of Julia Serving and Muhammad Ali. Oh wow.

Starting point is 01:23:19 So Julia Serving, because like the man went right in the heart of my childhood. The 76ers won the championship in 1983 in a four game sweep of the Lakers. It was heaven, right? And, you know, Dr. J was in everything in Philly. And I would say that the single thing with Doc is he was always dignified, no matter what somebody said, no matter what somebody did. He got in one fight in his entire NBA career,

Starting point is 01:24:04 but the idea that he was just perfectly still and he was an exquisite, well-spoken gentleman. He was a killer on the court. But he was just exquisitely elegant and peaceful, while at the same time doing the thing. And that balance of those two things I always thought was spectacular. I love that, that's beautiful.

Starting point is 01:24:35 You say it, I'll leave it. Yeah, yeah. You guys spent so much time here. There's some great interviews between you two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ali was hilarious. One of the things, so Ali would just come to said he would walk around, he would walk away

Starting point is 01:24:50 and just get on a bus. He said, yeah, where's the champ? And he would get on a bus and just ride a city bus and just ride with people. No idea where the bus is going, nothing, no security, anything like that, right? And he was engaged with people in a way I'd never seen anybody, like as famous as he was, he engaged with people in that way.

Starting point is 01:25:15 And I would say the total and utter submission to God, he looked like he was arrogant, but it was the other way. It was like he was talking like that and acting like that because he was so utterly submissive to the will of God. And that combination just really inspired me with how I wanted to be with people in the world. And I asked him, he can't, why do you just walk away with people like that? And you know, he said, oh man, you got to let these people see you. He said, they ain't never

Starting point is 01:25:58 seen nothing like you before. You got to get out there and you got to touch them, so they know you're real. People can't aspire to stuff that they don't think is real. You're not. You're not. And it was like, he was just so in tune with what he was. The seemingly arrogant humility was a beautiful combination. I love that. All right, question number four. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?

Starting point is 01:26:29 In the last 12 months, I would say that it's that ignorance and evil are twins. They look, you look at them, and they look just alike, except that ignorance can be educated, and evil is a much more difficult problem. And I would say I learned fortunately that ignorance is much more prevalent than blatant evil.

Starting point is 01:27:06 If that's a great answer. That makes a lot of sense. That makes so much sense. We have to have a whole... Cool. That makes a lot of sense. All right. Fifth and final question.

Starting point is 01:27:17 If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? It would be that you have to repeat back what you heard the other person say before you're allowed to say what you think. That the law is you're not allowed to respond to what someone said until you repeat back what you heard, and the person has multiple opportunities, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.

Starting point is 01:27:49 And until you repeat back accurately what the person said, you don't get to talk. That is a great job. I love that principle. Helping every area of life. Yeah, because our minds go way off the deep end with what we heard somebody say. And our response, well, first of all, we're not really listening. Because we want to, we already know what we want to say no matter what they say.

Starting point is 01:28:16 And we go really way off the deep end. I was shocked and surprised by how far we can be from what someone actually said to what we heard. Absolutely. Absolutely. That broken mirror, yes, exactly. Yeah. I love it.

Starting point is 01:28:40 Well, you're amazing, man. I love it. Thank you for being so generous with your time. I love you. Always showing up with your heart and soul and... You're my guy,. I love it. Thank you for being so generous with your time. No, I'll do it. Always showing up with your heart and soul. You're my guy, so it's whatever. You do know. This is special, though.

Starting point is 01:28:51 I really felt that after last year I came to a close and all the work we did, I think this was a nice way of encapsulating this chapter. And then we start the new chapter this year. Let's go, yeah. But this felt like a good for me, like just, uh, just hold that sacred space of everything that we did over the last year and then,

Starting point is 01:29:12 and then to start a fresh again. I love it. Yeah, thank you, man. Appreciate you. I love it. Yeah, thank you, man. Appreciate you. Appreciate you.

Starting point is 01:29:19 I love it. I love it. Yeah, thank you, man. Appreciate you. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions. Our executive producer from Dust Light is Misha Yusuf. Our senior producer is Julianna Bradley.

Starting point is 01:29:35 Our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo. Valentino Rivera is our engineer. Our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the Dusselike Development and Operations Coordinator. I'm Eva Longoria and I'm Maite Gomes-Rachon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast. Hungry for history! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages,

Starting point is 01:30:09 from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Listen to Hungry for History on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life amidst the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on

Starting point is 01:30:36 emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever

Starting point is 01:31:25 you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Will Smith ON: Owning Your Truth and Unlocking the Power of Manifestation

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.