On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Yes Theory ON: How To Seek Discomfort & Stop Putting Off What You Should Be Doing

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

The creators of Yes Theory tell Jay Shetty that for them, facing their biggest fears has much deeper meaning. Conquering mountains, jumping out of helicopters, and learning to push their bodies beyond their max all have pushed them to look deep within and discover more strength than they knew they had. Not sure how to conquer a fear or obstacle? You'll learn how to gain insight on getting started as well as sticking with the challenge when the going gets tough. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The One You Feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Munga Shatekler, and it turns out astrology

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That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week and we talk about debt payoff saving more intelligent investing and Increasing your earnings millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals You can listen to how to money on the iHeart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts It just felt like an like an unlimited amounts of of positive things can happen with that and I was gonna

Sitting in that class and it just really struck with me. I feel like everybody walked out of that class and just moved on. And I was like, I have to talk to the teacher more. This just blew my mind. Like I had never really realized that you can consciously seek to get out of your comfort zone to gain value. [♪ music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in, music playing the number one health podcast in the world.

Thanks to each and every single one of you who come back every week to listen, to learn and to grow. Now I'm super excited for this week's episode. It's been one that I've been waiting for for a long, long time. These guys are not only super talented, but really, really good friends. And I really believe in the work that they're putting out into the world and the work that they're doing. Now, when I first discovered them, I was absolutely blown away and to see them grow and to see

them have the impact that they're having and the impact that they're having on people's lives through the way they do it is just magnificent. So you know, I'm talking about the one and only, yes, theory. They're one of the most inspiring creative entities of our generation driven by their motto, seek discomfort. This group of friends from Egypt, France, and Sweden travel the world conquering everyday fears with the help of their community, always choosing love over fear, which I absolutely love. A few days after meeting in summer of 2015, they started a video series called Project 30, where they documented the process of doing 30 new things in 30 days.

A few thousand subscribers later, they'd found their calling. Now, best known for their YouTube channel, Yes Theory is based in Venice Beach, California. They continue to produce unique, adventurous, and inspiring content consistently putting in over 20 million views per month and more from tackling insecurities like asking strangers for favors to bungee jumping out of a helicopter with Will Smith into the Grand Canyon.

Yes Theory is on a mission to inspire, empower, and unify a community of people committed to reaching their full potential by seeking discomfort. Welcome to the show, Matt Thomas, and Amar in spirit. Right. Good to have you here, man. So good to be here, Jay. Thank you for having us.

You guys are so epic, like literally, like there's this stuff you put out is just, I'm like, I wish I was part of the crew, you know? That's that's how I feel. You're welcome anytime. Yeah, really? I should take Jay on something. What do you have a big fear?

You've been trying to come? I would love to figure that out with you. That would be fun to figure out, what is my real fear? Because I feel like half the time, I don't think, when you start breaking down a lot of fears and I don't think this is true, but you can start thinking like, oh, I have no fears. And that's not true. I think we all have fears. I think I have fears that I don't even know about.

So one day we need to do a brainstorm on what my fear is and then we need to go and go and figure it. Totally. And the biggest thing is just finding the fears that you feel like limit you, right? And sometimes it's the image or perception that you have of yourself. And so Matt recently tried to land a backflip. And it wasn't about the backflip. It was about how not being able to do it made him feel. And just realizing, I mean, you can probably explain this better than I can. Yeah, well, the backflip didn't go so well.

I'm be scared of trying to backflip. Yeah, so these are the scars from the backflip didn't go so well. I'm scared of trying to backflip. Yeah, so these are the scars from the backflip a couple of weeks ago. No way. Yeah. But like Thomas said, the whole point is to achieve freedom, ultimately.

And a lot of people will dismiss fears that they have, thinking that it's either too dangerous or unnecessary, but in our opinion, whatever constructs that you've built for yourself and whatever fears that may seem small are the most important because those small fears that you overcome allow you to overcome the bigger fears. Yeah. And that's the goal.

Yeah, absolutely. Now that you've told me that they came from backflakes, right? Yeah, no, I don't think I can afford to do that. Yeah, it's tough, but I think you're gonna end up like you're gonna have just a half of time. I think he tried to do it in three days, and the people who he was doing with,

with these professional parkour artists who were like, it took me two months to do this. And, you know, so we were, he put a very like slim timeline on it, and he also had a genuine fear of it. So I think, with time, you'll achieve it. Parkour is something I've always wanted to be good at, it's so cool.

It looks cool. Yeah, it looks good. So I'd, but do you always, when you take on a challenge, do you do it until you can do it, or is it just the trying that's important? Like you said, oh, he's gonna get there. Yeah. But is it about getting there and getting the result,

or is it just about, hey, I tried, I got some bruises on my face and I gave it a go. Which one's important? A line I love is the beauty is in the attempt. And John Wooden, the coach for the UCLA basketball team, I think it was UCLA, was defined success as just doing your best, leaving it all on the court. And for us, that's how we see it as well. There have been many episodes where we've completely failed.

And we had given it our all, and it felt like we had won. And for us, that was the key. And that's kind of how we approach everything. We've gone after things that seemed impossible and went into it, knowing that it likely wouldn't happen, but it was worth a shot. And then sometimes it actually happens. And that's the ultimate glory totally and I think the

You learn the most in the process and and and the outcome is obviously Always serves in that as well I think you know how do we challenge will submit will submit the bunch up out of helicopter and not gotten a response I don't think we would have been like oh, that wasn't worth it, you know I was still worth the shot, but the fact that it worked made us believe in the impossible. At that point, it was like, okay, now we can literally do anything. And so I think there's value in both,

but not succeeding is not always the most important. Yeah. Or succeeding is not always the most important outcome. I love what you said, Edel. How fun is it when something happens in your life which you never ever imagined would be possible? And then as soon as it's now possible, now you start actually believing in the impossible,

right? Like, to have you guys, was that moment the, the worst moment for you guys, or was it before that when you started seeing all the audience come through like, what was that moment where you were just like, whoa, like we just, we just did something that we never imagined was possible. Was it like that? And then you started to feel like, oh,

now we need to think bigger and bigger and bigger. I felt like the very first moment we had was we had a video where we signed Chelsea players to our soccer team. This was day 19 of knowing each other. So we had, yeah, this was in yeah, exactly beginning of project 30 and we had this idea we we found out that the Chelsea FC soccer team were staying in this hotel and we were like would be hilarious to like rip up a fake contract and then ask them do you want to join our team because we had like

a little soccer team. We were like it'd be amazing if they would just sign this. Then we went after it and snuck into the hotel and got them to sign and then put it up and it went on like Lad Bible and all these kind of like soccer pages, football pages. And- Dude, I know what Lad Bible is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it just like blew our minds.

Like the video got like 100,000 views, but we thought we were like, yeah, the biggest. At the time we were getting 500 views of video and it was mostly from friends and family. And were living in a one bedroom apartment in Montreal completely broke making these videos every day and so when that we uploaded that video the night and then we went to bed and every morning I would wake up and just check the views because I like views. I like views. I like views. I like views a lot. And I'm gonna make a meme out of that. I went to the video and it had a thousand views.

And we never had a thousand views ever. So a media, I'm like, this is crazy. And I click refresh and it went to 3,000 views. And all of a sudden, I'm in my boxers and I get up and I shake the boys away and I'm like, boys, it's going viral. You just went crazy. And it was just such a wild experience seeing this thing just gain life without you even touching it at that point.

Like virality was such we had never experienced it to see your creation being experienced by so many people. It was such a fulfilling experience. And then we just kept, it gave us so much motivation. And it truly made us believe that we could really bring our content to the world. Do you remember the players that you signed?

John Terry and Namanja. Namanja Mati. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I love, I'm a huge soccer fan. Are you a Chelsea fan? I'm a Manchester United fan, but I know exactly, I need to watch that video. I don't think I'm speaking. It's pretty funny, it's I know exactly. I need to watch that video.

I don't think I'm stupid. It's pretty funny. It's like, yeah, I need to watch that one. It was one of the first ones we made and it kind of made us, it was the first time a video worked beyond our family and friends. And there's just something you learn when that happens. I'm sure you experienced it to the first time a video just stands out. You're like, whoa, wait, there's people I've never heard of before commenting on this. It's such a weird experience to have. And I think that really, there's been like moments like that throughout time in the past five years we've been doing this that just expanded like what we thought was possible, right?

That was like the very first one, the very first one was just starting and making the first video and clicking upload and then seeing that. It's like, wow, we have a video. It's up on the internet. And then second and then third and then 17th day we do this and that happens. And then I think just 19th maybe probably 19th. But basically like there, it's the powerful thing with that experience is you just challenge what you expect from yourself and then you can start

you know pushing that and becoming a better filmmaker and becoming more creative. And yeah, it's been an amazing journey just just learning. And you learn as much from the failures as the successes, but there's just something that happens when it does work that makes you just want to push yourself even more and get excited by the challenge of a filmmaking and creation and understanding how the internet functions. And also creating a piece that people really connect with is exciting because then you're like, oh, we really hit people with this one. People were excited to watch this.

Yeah, absolutely. I remember when I felt that when you guys fool the world and I was seeing everyone Then I saw you guys did it was the Justin Bieber Burrito thing and I was just like I couldn't believe it. I was so impressed because I think I already was in touch with you guys then Yeah, I think we were already communicating Yeah, we were and then I remember seeing it and I was just like oh no way Like no way to do that So now you guys genius like it's it's not easy anyone is the way you guys do. Now you guys are genius, it's not easy.

Anyone who's the way you guys do, the way you guys think about your ideas, the way you make videos, the way you build it up, the way you, I mean, it's genius, man. It's really strong. I wanna hear about both of your personal journeys of personal growth before Project 30 and yes theory. Like I wanna know, what was it in your own life

that brought you to make this content? Because this could have very easily just been fun content, prank content was it in your own life that brought you to make this content? Because let's, you know, this could have very easily just been fun content, prank content. It could just be like that, but it's not. It's about seeking discomfort. There's a message like, you all believe that there's a rule behind your work that it has to be centered around, meaning and it has to have impact, right?

It's not just, oh, let's just make some fun videos that get views. So tell me about your lives independently Before Project 30 that that already had that kind of mindset. Yeah Either of you. Yeah, well I I was never really into entrepreneurship or filmmaking or any of that as a kid. I was more just into adventure with friends and The one memory that I remember was every summer I would go to to France where I was have, I'm have French, have American. So in the summer I would go to France and my friends would stay back in the States.

And while I was in France, I would come up with a list of like 20 fun ideas that my friends and I could do when we get back, whether it was like going punchy jumping or going on this road trip three hours away. And I would write the list and I would remember sending it to my friends and then kind of not wanting to do it and just kind of wanting to hang out in our town. And I remember how frustrating that felt to want to go to all these places to do all these things and not have people really aligned with it. And so I ended up in high school in my first year of college. And I love these people, but it was mostly people

who wanted to kind of stay in one place and party a lot and have a good time. And I kind of got stuck in that environment, the party, like the constantly partying. And then when I was 19 after my first year in college, I went on a trip with my family to Russia. And while we were in Russia, I read Richard Branson's autobiography, losing my virginity.

And I remember reading it, and when he was 17, Richard Branson started his first ever company. It was a student magazine. And he built it up over three years to be the biggest magazine for teenagers in all the UK. And the way he described it, working with his friends in the basement, grinding every day on phone calls, like trying to convince advertisers to pay money, and how eventually after a year he got his first advertiser, and then it grew and grew and grew.

And the excitement of that was so much more thrilling than what I was doing, and I became obsessed, like I needed to start a company somehow. And so when I got home after the summer, when I got back to college, I kind of just quit partying. I just didn't wanna go out anymore. And I just bought every entrepreneurial book that I could and just dissected everything that these guys and women were doing.

And over the next three years in college, I tried to start several businesses with different partners. And the first few didn't really work out. But then the last one that I did was a clothing company where we would partner it up with street artists from around the world, and we would get back to the homeless in their cities. And that project ended up being my biggest one at the time,

and it got the attention of my university. We had a lot of students who were ambassadors. Thomas was a student at the university and his class did a marketing consulting thing on my company and it was him and three other students who consulted for me for a semester. And I met him the first day that I met him. He they had this like pitch ready for my clothing company. But the one thing that actually stuck out was a story that he told me about sneaking into a big concert like that he loved of the artists that he loved. And his storytelling instantly captured

me. And he had a small YouTube channel at the time. And I instantly went after the meeting to check out the YouTube channel. And I was just so enthralled because he was actually the first person that I met that had that same obsession with creating something and sacrificing everything else for it. I'd never met anyone that was willing to grind 24 seven to make something happen. And so we connected pretty much instantly. And after he told me all of his story, it was just like, yeah, let's do something together.

And I'll let you explain your story. That's amazing, man. Thanks for sharing that. I hope everyone who's listening and watching can just hear themselves in that experience because everything you just said, there's so much of it that we can all relate to, whether you're just lost in the partying world, or whether you feel you're wasting time, or whether you feel like maybe your current friends don't want the adventure life that you want,

or you know, all of those thoughts, but showing that when you're seeking it, you find it, you know, you find and connect with the people. So yeah, let's hear you. Totally. Not super interesting. I didn't even know about the story of your friends. Really? Yeah, I didn't know that. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit. We'll wait a little bit your friends. Yeah, I didn't know that We're really weird. We're weird. For me it was a it was kind of interesting a group in a family where my dad and all my uncles were all entrepreneurs so my grandfather had moved from Sweden to France

for a job at Tetra pack and, and when he was 50, he got fired. And my dad and all his older brothers basically saw their dad go from being like this super like popular, successful guy to being somebody who just didn't have a job anymore for several years. And he just planted this seed in all of them that they never wanted to work for somebody else. And so I grew up in a very like,

that was like the narrative, you know, in my family, just like work for somebody else. Wow. And so I grew up in a very like, that was like the narrative, you know, in my family, just like work for yourself, like create something on your own. And I never knew really what I wanted to do, like growing up as a teenager in France. I was like, okay, we'll figure that out eventually, I guess. And I kind of ended up pursuing the path of traditional entrepreneurship going into tech.

It was like the big thing in 2011, 2012 when I was kind of getting started in college and so did that for a while. In one of my entrepreneurship classes, one of my teacher started his class with, is it worth it to go to the Louvre in Paris, the museum. And I was so confused. I'm like, I thought we were entrepreneurship class. Why are we talking about this museum? And his eventual point was that when you go to a museum

far away and you go, you put yourself in an environment that's so different from anything you've experienced before, you kind of transcend your previous perception of reality in some extent, right? Like, it's not just about going to see the Mona Lisa, it's about the smell, it's about the people that you run into, it's about the restaurant or the cafe you were at right before.

It's about taking a plane and stepping off and being somewhere completely different. All of these emotions and experiences kind of expand your brain and you make new connections, right? And maybe you think you were, you thought you were going to see the Mona Lisa, but it's actually the thing right behind it that you were blown away by.

And that's the beauty of doing something where you get out of your comfort zone. And it can actually be an amazing tool for creativity, for fulfillment, for adventure. It just felt like an unlimited amounts of positive things can happen with that. And I was kind of sitting in that class and it just really struck with me. I feel like everybody walked out of that class and just moved on. And I was like, I have to talk to the teacher more. This is, this just blew my mind. Like I had never really realized that you can consciously seek to get out of your comfort zone to gain value.

And so I just kind of like planted a seed in my mind. And like eight months later, I was making these videos and initially was a comedy sk skits, which were like fine and fun to make about like my experiencing college. But I just wanted more purpose, and I wanted something that could also give me purpose in the journey. Not just like, okay, these skits are great, but I want something where like more grounded in reality. And so that was around the time I met Matt and he showed me this show on MTV called The Buried Life, which was about these four guys crossing off a hundred things off their bucket

list and helping somebody else do the same and immediately just connected. We were blown away and I was just felt so inspired by this concept and they had actually stopped making episodes anymore. And they just felt like such a shame. I was like, this is the best show I've ever seen in my life. And so around that time, kind of ended up simmering. Matt and I were brainstorming a lot of ideas on like, what could we do? And then the idea of doing 30 things that we had never done before in 30 days, and making a video about it every single day came up. And then that was kind of like the birth of yes theory. You originally wanted to be what? 100? Yeah, I was like, I can about it every single day it came up. And then that was kind of like the birth of yes, theory.

You originally wanted to be what? A hundred? Yeah, I was like, I can do it every day for a year. And I woke up in the middle of the night and I told my roommate, and he was like, you can't do a video every day for a year. Like that's ludicrous. Yeah.

You're like, you should do something smaller, like a week or something. And a week just didn't feel like, what am I gonna get out of a week? But a month felt like the perfect timeline for that. And luckily we met Amar in that exact period as well. He'd snuck into my best friends going away party. And I just told him about this.

I'm like, I don't know, I'm not, like I'm just, the summer I'm just gonna do this thing. I'm like working on the side to make money right now, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then a few days later he met Matt and it was just like love it first side basically. I am Mi'anla and on my podcast the R-Spot we're having inspirational educational and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships.

They may not have the capacity to give you what you need. And insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human. And that means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes, and I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him.

Listen to the R-Spot on the iHeart Video App Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder swindler.

The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors

who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh wow, this is a very unusual situation.

It was cacao. The tree that gives us chocolate. But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen, or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun fight. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate.

We're all lost. It was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building arm with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this.

Sometimes I think all this for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions, wild chocolate, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I love it, man. It's amazing. Yeah, it's good to hear those stories because I think, yeah, I just love the fact that you guys found each other. Because that, that seems like such

a big thing that you all share this fascination with trying out new things, new experiences. And you have this message, which is, you know, if you want something, ask for it, right? Yeah. If you don't ask for something, you don't know. Tell me about how you became so convinced about that message or where that originated from, because I think that, I think we're living in a world where people forget trying things that you guys try, we're just scared of asking for things on an everyday basis. Even if it's simple things, right?

Even if it's like really normal everyday things, we struggle, tell us where that came from. Great question. I'd actually love to know what you think. even if it's like really normal everyday things, we struggle, tell us where that came from. Great question. I'd actually love to know what you think. Why do you think people are afraid of asking? I think people are afraid of asking because they think it shows their flaws

or it shows their weaknesses. Because if you ask someone for something, it makes it look like you're weak and you're in need and you now have need. And you now have flaws that, if they say no, then you now think they're going to think that you're not worth anything or that you've lost value. We generally, I'm just thinking of examples, like people get scared to ask for what they deserve in a relationship, because they don't want to make the other person feel like they have the power to give or not give them something

Or people feel afraid to ask for They're having an issue with their building or someone in their life and they feel scared to ask for what they what they're worth Because they're scared again. I think it's we're scared of giving away power We think somehow that when we're asking we're giving the other person the power Because they again the power to say yes or no It's almost like we've given them the power already Yeah, we've handed over our power to other people and these people get to decide who we are and what we do and

Maybe it comes from childhood and from parents just being very stern. I don't know but there's a It's almost like having a taste of, like the first time you do it, it's so nerve-wracking whether it's discomfort or asking for something that makes you feel uncomfortable. And then all of a sudden you gradually opens up this kind of freeing environment within yourself where you're like, oh, that didn't turn out so bad. Like, I asked that person for help

and they were so willing to help me. And then I asked that person, you know, to share my posts and they did it right away. And then all of a sudden, not only do you ask for help when you need it, but you're so much more empathetic and you're so much more willing to help other people. And then it becomes the cycle of you helping others

and others helping you. And that's how, cycle of you helping others and others helping you. And that's how I mean growth in general happens. Otherwise you're just stuck alone and nobody, you're helping nobody and you're not being helped and you just kind of stall. Yeah. It also creates, it attracts the people, the right, it's a great filter too, right? Because like somebody who's going to help you as open-minded and empathetic and kind, most likely. But it also, if I was never sharing what I wanted to do, you and I would never have connected. And if you were never sharing what you wanted to do,

we never would have found that middle ground. And same with the mar. And I think that the beautiful thing is we weren't afraid to ask each other for help in different areas. It's kind of like, I think one of our friends, Ben Nempton, who actually is on the show of Aired Life, says that you're drastically more likely to actually make something happen if you write it down.

And you're even more likely to make it happen if you have an accountability buddy. So somebody who holds you accountable or who can potentially help you, because now you're making it real, right? Like so many people in the back of their minds think like, oh, I'll run a marathon one day maybe, you know? But if you start to take the steps towards it and tell people you're going to do it immediately, now it's real.

So it's very easy to get stalled and never have anything happen. But I really like the way you mentioned it too about in relationships asking for what we want. It's so important. Yeah, yeah. And I think we're struggled to ask for stuff because we also have an invested enough to ask in the sense of like even when you guys are doing a trick on the Chelsea football players, you've still invested in making a contract. Like you've got into that place, whereas if you just walked in and walked up to them and said, Hey, do you want to sign for my club?

And there was no contract. You hadn't planned it out. Right. They probably wouldn't have agreed or there would have been no video. It would have been just some silly prank video. But it's when you've created a scenario, similarly in our lives, like if you've invested in a relationship with someone or you've put some time and energy into it,

you then feel that you're able to ask. And I think that's why we struggled to ask, because we've just, we've not really brought anything to the table. Does that make sense? Yeah, so yeah, no, it's, it's cool. I like looking at it for you guys, because you guys are doing this on a daily basis. Like the amount of time, amount of times you've heard the word no, like's cool. I like looking at it for you guys because you guys are doing this on a daily basis Like the amount of time amount of times you've heard the word no like you're called yes theory But you've probably heard more nose than anyone in the world. I'm guessing at this thing Well, what was like the biggest no like when you tried a new video idea or you try to concept and it was just like Nope, like this, you know, it's not going that way

Yeah, we're actually trying to pull off like something we're calling Elon, Elon week. We're going to try our best for an entire week to try and get Elon's attention to asking the question. I love it. Um, and we've tried in the past and he's a very, very difficult man to reach. Yeah. Um, so that's probably been one of the biggest, it's not even a no, it's a non-answer. If anyone can do it, you guys can do it.

I think we're going to pull it off. I think we're going to pull it off. I think you will pull it off. Yeah, I could see Elon Week sounds cool. You want to help out? Yeah, that's great, that's cool. But there's actually one that I was thinking that was so funny, because we walked out and we just didn't have the right energy

We had this idea of trying to convince a stranger to come Shark diving with us Do you remember that day when we went out and it was just such a brutal day of like we walked out and we were already a little tired And not in the best head space because you got a like and I'm sure you can relate to this But like you will pull in the energy that you project. And so if you walk out and you're in a bad mood and you're kind of awkward when you're asking, the reactions you're going to get back are going to be terrible. And we were just people were like roasting us for asking them.

And we were just bringing us down and down and down. And we just eventually just after 30 minutes of trying, which usually we try for like hours, after 30 minutes we just like, let's just drive home. Let's just not even keep going like, there's no way we're convincing somebody today. And sometimes you just have to accept that that's what it is, right? Like not every single time will work,

but we learn something that day, right? That we carried over and the next time we were better. But. And again, it's the filter. We're so thankful for the nose. Because if that person would say to maybe a nose a yes, it just wouldn't have worked. We want the enthusiastic hell yes.

No questions asked. Like the people that have said yes to us in the past, whether it was going on a first date across the world or going, I mean, there's so many, there's a lot. Yeah, it's never, they've never gone into detail of what the thing includes, whether it's safe, et cetera. You're like, that sounds amazing. I'm done.

And these people have ended up being our friends over the last five years. Like, there are people we stay in touch with for that reason. It's that spirit that we're looking for in people. Absolutely. Almost like this like child like excitement and enthusiasm, you know, that's what we we live for. Yeah.

And what's interesting is we try and make sure they don't know like that we have a YouTube channel and all these things because we want the the yes to be as pure as possible from a place of genuine spontaneity and excitement for adventure. And so when we get that, like, we've just been so lucky. Like you're saying, to meet some incredible people that were open to two strangers or three strangers on the street walking around asking them for something ludicrous. And then in the end, realizing, we love us keeping, because then it's all, it all just becomes more and more positive surprises, right? Like what, we're actually flying to this place and what, like, you know, it because then it's all, it all just becomes more and more positive surprises, right? Like what, we're actually flying to this place and what, like, you know, it's,

it's an amazing thing to just watch it unfold in their eyes and reward them for the trust that they had in that moment. I'm Eva Longoria. I'm Maite Gomez-Rajón. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture.

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Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you'll get your podcasts. In the 1680s, a feisty, opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans.

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diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leave feeling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, that's awesome. One of the things I've been reflecting on with you guys about the echoing is just how everyone who's winning more is actually also losing more.

So it's like, anytime you're getting a yes, you've already heard like 39 knows, right? It's like every time one of those people after hours says yes, that means you've spent hours hearing notes. And whether whatever we're doing in any of our spaces, whether it's trying to get Elon or whether it's trying to make a new video or coming up with a new concept or launching a new podcast like you guys are doing soon.

Like whatever it is out of all of those things, it's like you've heard nose the whole way and I think getting used to hearing no is actually such an important skill. And it sounds like you guys have really mastered it because I can't imagine how hard it is. You know, it's so easy for you to go on the streets and be like, well, yes, they're really lucky. You know, to try and, but I love the fact that you're not actually getting people to say yes because you have a YouTube channel.

They're saying yes because you're getting that pure yes as you said. I mean, that's awesome. I love that. That's great to hear that. Because I think that's hard for people to understand. What's been the, what have you personally learned from breaking through your fears?

Like which one for you was like, I really got over something, right? Like I really broke through something deep personal and intimate for me when we did this thing. That was the one where I realized I learned a lot from it. So what was the fear or what was the challenge or what was the discomfort and what was the lesson you learned from breaking through that individually? And it can't be together. For me, the probably the most difficult experience that I've had doing this the past five years

was we went out with Wim Hof Iceman in Poland and we ended up creating a documentary out of it just the experience was not at all that we were expecting. Like we thought we were coming out to do the Wim Hof Method and learn the basics. And as soon as we got there, he saw us all wearing our seek discomfort sweaters and we were the first day we're like, let's go cliff jumping in the water. And he's like,

okay, you know, he's kind of seeing that we're comfortable being in uncomfortable situations. And so he's like, okay, the Wimhoff method is not going to work. Like, this is going to be too easy for you guys. We got to up the stakes. And we're like, what does that mean? And so the next day we wake up, and he's just pacing back and forth in the breakfast room. And we're like, what does that mean? And so the next day we wake up and he's just pacing back and forth in the breakfast room and we're like, what's, what is he, what's going on? And he's like, I don't know if I'm allowed to curse but he just goes, F the training. We're like, what?

We're not gonna do any of the training. We're going 10 minutes in ice water, prepare you have 30 minutes, don't eat any breakfast. We're going in 30 minutes, set your mind. And we're just like, what are you talking about? Negative 10 degrees. That's the hardest. Yes, there's a snowstorm outside.

Typically, if you spend more than three minutes and below freezing ice water, which we were about to do, you can hit hypothermia if you're not careful. There's a lot of risks. There's no medical staff and nothing. Yeah, we're just like, wait, what? Who has done 10 minutes? And this isn't just like a regular ice bath.

This is like a moving body of water. So it actually makes it much more challenging because when you're in an ice bath, there's like a, after a few minutes, there's like a very thin coat of warm water that builds around your body. But here, it's just, it's impossible. Like you're freezing the entire time.

And I put my toes in the water and I was immediately like, I need to get out. Within 10 seconds, I thought it was over for me. We walked in altogether, ended up doing this, saying yes to it. Let's do the 10 minutes. Let's try it. In my mind, I was like, I'm going to last two minutes, two, three minutes. I've never been in so much pain, physical pain in my whole life. And I probably, I definitely do not recommend for anyone to try this at home. But I

think having these guys around and then having whim there and he saw that I was the one struggling the most, like pushing me and encouraging me. And then in the end, and I am, and I am breaking the, the 10 minute mark and then running back up to the sauna and it took me a whole hour to get back to normal temperature. Was one of the, like, I have a very rational clock that ticks in my brain that goes, okay, it's enough. I got injured pretty hard when I was 18. I developed these chronic injuries from sports. And so I've been always super careful with not pushing myself physically too much. Like if I go on a run, then I start to feel my ankle weird.

I'm like, okay, I'm done. I'm walking back now. And this was like, I'm within a minute, I thought it was over. And so I didn't only push what I thought my physical ability was, but also my own perception of when I'm supposed to stop. And after coming down from that,

just being so proud of myself for having achieved something that I genuinely believed was impossible 30 minutes earlier. I didn't think going to Poland that I would pass two minutes in ice water. I thought we would train our way up to two minutes. So to have done 10, only using basically like the small skills that I have in meditation, just trying to like control my pain. And I would love to ask you about this too, but it's just, there was something in there where I just transcended and I had to be so focused on just, because

as soon as you start shivering, it's over. So that was the main thing he was telling us. You just got a, the only thing you can use is the power of your mind. And I was like, what is he talking about? Like the power of my mind, I'm freezing. Yeah. There's nothing to do with my mind. But what I realized is so much of my own limitation

that I had set was in my mind. It wasn't the physical pain. It was how I was coping with it. Yeah. And how far I was allowing myself to go. Yeah. And then the next day we climbed the mountain in a snowstorm. In shorts, that's it, shorts and shoes. I got to the top and that also just became one of the most surreal moments.

So back to back, I just did two things I never thought I could do. And after a few days of reflection, I just realized that now I'm like, I approach certain challenges with a completely new perspective. Like I don't always, previously I'd have like this, okay, this is how far I can go, you know, in my mind, I had an idea of when my limit was going to arrive and now I'm always kind of, you know, second guessing it, not to push myself and get injured, but I'm always making sure that I haven't set a limit to myself that can actually just hold me back from how far I can actually go. So it was

a very interesting experience. That's awesome. But in the end, just ended up gaining a new level of self-respect from myself. What else can I do? What's amazing? Thank you for sharing that, man. That's what I love about this story, because I think for a lot of people who are listening and watching, it's like, when we see these incredible feats being performed, we often think of people who like, train for them or people who are like athletes

and like naturally athletic, that they have like, you know, like, and it's just like when you just look at as normal people, like we're all of us sitting here, which is normal people who are trying to do extraordinary things with our body or our minds and giving it a go. And when you were talking about it, I can hear it, and I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability of just like, yeah, basically, I thought I was going to last 30 seconds. And I think that's most of us in so many places, but when I hear you say it, I'm hopefully everyone who's listening and watching is gonna be like, oh yeah, if Thomas can do it,

like I can do it too, you know, it's like, and I'm not saying, again, don't try it at home, but when being, the point being that you start to be like, oh, well, if he didn't train, and he's not, you know, it's not like you're an athlete, it's not like you come from an athletic background, it's just, this is what you could achieve by saying yes. And again, very importantly, being around a good supportive group of people, being

with an expert in what he does, and being in that space. Yeah, I love that, man. That's the same reason that we're so obsessed with community. Yeah. Because had you been in that water by yourself, no, zero, literally zero, percent chance. Yeah. Yeah. That's for all of us. Yeah. That's what we just, yeah, we, everybody thrives with the support of community. I love it, man. What's yours? Mine was last year, was the, I did my first Iron Man,

full Iron Man, triathlon. Yeah, and it was just like Thomas said, there was just this impossibility to it. And I'd heard about it when I was 21 from a friend of my parents, who was his 45 year old dude, and so athletic, and he told me what it entailed. I don't know if you know what a nightmare is, but it's a two and a half kilometer swim,

a 180 kilometer bike ride and then full marathon. So on average, it takes in a full marathon. Yeah, it's insane. And so when he explained that immediately, just kind of you know, you cast it aside, there's just no chance. But then as we started to do yes theory and started to meet all these incredible people we started to meet more

triathletes and iron people would have completed iron made like ritual. Yeah. Um, it became a big inspiration. Did you interview them last week? Oh, no, I was with me yesterday. He was on his podcast yesterday. Yeah, you guys know. Yeah, yeah. And so seeing these people like you're saying normal people who achieved extraordinary things You know you start thinking like maybe Maybe there's something here, but you don't immediately go for the full thing usually not straight into the water for 10 minutes Yeah, so I started to do like a smaller triathlon than a half-by-iron man and Then actually on the day of the jump with Will Smith last year, where was two years ago? Two years ago. Two years ago, I met his personal trainer, Aaron,

and I'd been thinking about doing an Iron Man, and I walked up to him, and I hadn't talked to him ever before. I was like, Hey man, I heard your Will's personal trainer. He's like, Yes, yes, I am. Well, I'm doing an Iron Man in May. You should do it with me. And he kind of just looked at me like I was crazy. And I was like, all right, cool. I'll see you later. And then I ran into him an hour later and he'd thought about it.

And he was at a point in his life where he needed something to break constructs and just get out of his shell. And he accepted. He was like, yeah, let's do it. And so within a month, I was training with Will Smith's personal trainer nearly every day and he was giving me this curriculum of what

this would actually entail. And when I'd thought about doing the Iron Man, my goal was I just want to finish. 17 hours of the max. If I do it in 17 hours, I'll be so stoked over the happiest meal I have. And then when I started to talk to Aaron, Aaron said, If I do in 17 hours, I'll be so stoked over the happiest meal I have. And then when I started to talk to Aaron, Aaron said, when you do something in your life

as big as this, you should never, ever, ever have acid. It should be full commitment because it's going to reflect in everything else you do after. And I never thought about it that I would, I always just thought you need to finish the thing that didn't necessarily require full effort. But he explained that the reward is in the practice. It's not in the result. And so for eight months, this man just grinded me down. Like you can, you know, to the pebbles. I was just every day woke up at 5 a.m. feeling broken and having to go for a two hour run and then a three hour bike ride, you know. So by the end of the eight months and this required me to take time off videos and traveling, which sometimes is very stressful.

Professor, yeah, I told him it was worth it. I was like, guys, it's going to be worth it. And then on the day of the race, Aaron and I had decided that our goal was to do it under 12 hours, which is below the top quarter of the people that finished the race, which having never done a full one, it was just like this is ridiculous. And with no sleep,

because you don't sleep the night before, you're so anxious and you have to wake up at 3.30 AM to get to the starting line. How many people did it? 2000 did it in that race, I think 40 to 50, 3.30 a.m. to get to the starting line. How many people do it? 2000 did it in that race. I think 40 to 50,000 do it a year. Okay. And what's amazing is people of all ages, you know, like there's 21 year olds

and there's 70 year olds that go for it. And each have their own respective goals. But so when I did it and I, what ended up happening was on, I did the swim, then I did the bike, and then on my old 10 of the race, which was about 10 hours in, my body just completely shut down, and I started to cry and started to walk.

And after eight months of training, I was so mad at my body. I was like, how could you do this to me? And then as I was walking and other people around you are collapsing as well. So you're like, I guess I can just give up here. You know what is it? 16 more miles to go. There's just no freaking chance.

And then I actually thought about Amar who had done a marathon without training the year before. And he told me that halfway through the race, the same thing happened. And that he decided that every mile from that point on, he would dedicate to somebody that he loved, and he would imagine them running by his side. And so remembering that and remembering everything Aaron had taught me, I'd slowly started to get back up and slowly started to run.

And every single mile was, I'm first I imagine my brother, I imagine Thomas, I imagine my parents, I imagine my friends Steve. I imagine all these people who especially supported me the last eight months, and like I'm crying, and I'm running, and I'm full of sweat, and people are just dying next to me, you know, like giving up.

And I just have these people in my mind and I refuse to think of anything else. And what's wild is if you look at the time, I actually speed up the second half of the race faster than I was the first half. So these guys were tracking me and when I was hitting that mother, they were like, oh God, he's stopping. And then they were like, oh, wait, what's, you know, if he's picking it back up, and it was because of that community. And so on the last mile, and by that point, I'm just completely ruined. You know, these guys came for the last mile

and ran it with me by my side. And by the end, there was just nothing left. And the video at the end is just me collapsing in a Mars arms, and then these guys as arms and It was just and I finished in 11 hours and 57 minutes So three minutes below the 12 hour mark that I aimed for and it was the first time in my life That I felt like a winner For so long forever there's I was just riddled with self-doubt

It was like I'm not a winner and I. And even through yes there was like, you know, it was motivated by self-doubt to prove to myself. But this was me. Like I had to prove this, this was just me. And yes, with the support of the community, but it's all in my mind. And to be able to hit your goal under 12 hours and see it visually, you know, and physically has, I mean mean completely profoundly changed my life after we went to dinner. I went to dinner with Aaron And I hadn't really thought about the whole thing. I was just happy. He was over and He walks up to me and by this point. He's like my best friend and my partner You know, he's just my guy and he just passed me on the shoulder and he's like, hey, buddy Just so you know the three minutes are to change the rest of your life.

And I just, you know, stood in silence, I was like, wow, and it's been eight months since that day and so many parts of my life have changed because of it. So many things I thought were impossible have changed, whether it was with relationships or goals that I had or even something like approaching a backflip that I never, you know, there's just small things and big things, because I finally was able to prove to myself that I could win. You know, when it just changes your identity to go through that discomfort and to come out successful, it's the most blissful, beautiful, freeing experience that a human can possibly have. So to chase that discomfort, that's why we preach it, because that's what creates freedom.

You know? And even for somebody like you, I'm sure writing a book has been a thing that you've wanted to do forever, for example, and so many other things. But to actually have it in your hands, be like, I made this thing. And it's probably going to be, you know, we're watching your times, but I said, you know, you did this. And these are physical manifestations of what we're capable of. And the reason something like, yes, theory or seek discomfort never gets old is because the challenge just continues. What else can I do is the question. And, you know,

there's opportunity everywhere. It's endless. And that's what makes life so goddamn exciting. It's like a playground for all your dreams, one after the other, if you tackle them. It's the most beautiful thing. And that's what we, that's like our fuel. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great story, man. That's beautiful hearing it from your, from your mouth in that way. It's like,'s yeah, it's like I was there with you You know, I thought when I was hearing you say that I really felt like I was there with you and I love that The fear is a different what you find easy or hard is different like you know as humanity like we We all find certain things really easy and simple and natural and effortless and there are certain things that we find hard and it's different for different people.

And we don't have the same challenges and we don't feel the same discomfort. Like for some people sitting in cold is easy and for some people sitting in heat is hard. And for some, you know, whatever it is, it's different. And I think it's wonderful that you all let yourselves, you gave him eight months off. From making videos. You go and test this. And you know, you had a different test. And this may be because when I hear you guys talk about this,

there's camaraderie, there's friendship, there's brotherhood, there's respect. Like when I hear you all sharing the stories today, and when I watch your content, it's not like a dare. Right? There's a difference and it's subtle, but it's something that I really wanna bring up is that I don't feel like you guys are daring each other. It's like you're like cheering each other on.

You're like wanting the person to win. Tell me about the difference between a real discomfort challenge versus peer pressure because I feel like there's a difference and I feel like you've built a community discomfort challenge versus peer pressure. Because I feel like there's a difference and I feel like you've built a community around really challenging yourselves and rooting for your friends and brothers to win and sisters to win.

And you're really rooting for each other. Whereas I feel that in the same way, we often experience dare culture or like peer pressure culture, like force culture. And I know for me that force culture has always made me back away from challenges. Where is the brotherhood has always made me want to challenge myself more. So tell me about how you've been able to understand the difference and how you've been able to focus so strongly on the positive one.

Yeah, that's a great question. That's a great question. That's a great question. I think the intention behind it is the most important thing. Like, why are you, you know, challenging this person to do it? Because if it comes from a place of like, okay, I'm gonna humiliate this person

or I'm gonna, you know, put them in a position that's gonna make them feel really bad about themselves, like, that's terrible. You know what I mean? Like, or if you're doing it only because you think this might get views or if you're doing going down a cart and in a staircase just because you think it's whatever, that never sits well.

Whereas if you're like, okay, I'm going to give my friend five minutes to prepare for a stand-up set and sign him up without him knowing. That's a whole different thing because it's coming from a place of, yes, you know, there's an element of cheekiness, but there's definitely, it's also like a belief that doing this is something that has an element of growth, like being up and bombing and then coming back down is an experience that is in the moment painful and not great, but in the end you've now experienced what it is to not do great. And then from there, like literally anything else on stage is not going to feel as bad

as whatever that was. You know, there is always something to learn there. And with everything we do, if we ever put each other in uncomfortable or difficult situations, it always comes from a place of love. It comes from a place of, I think, you know, this person is actually gonna benefit from this experience. There's, would you agree with that?

It's the intention. So was it loving when you sent me to Miami to take the world's longest bus ride? Yeah. Yeah. Was that love? That's right. I booked a ticket for him and his brother.

Yeah. And then two of our British friends to take the longest bus right in America. Yeah. On the greyhound. On the grounds. Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't fun.

Yeah. It didn't feel like fun. Yeah. But it turned out to be an amazing bonding experience for you. Yeah. And that those three guys, and then you also got to see the country that you're from in a completely new lens, right? I remember your brother came back and he was like, that was actually really cool.

Which is, there's always an unexpected thing that happens, a magic that kind of comes to play when you put yourself in that kind of situation. And yeah, I mean, we sent Amard to Czechoslovakia with blindfolds on when we were in Europe. And we had to figure out his way back with zero dollars. You know what country he was. He didn't know what country he was in. Justlovakia, I think. How did you know that?

He, so first thing he walked up to people I asked, like, what country am I in? And people were so confused. They were like, what do you mean what country are you in? How did you get here? And he's got a blind photo. No, so he had to, he was able to take it off. Oh, he's not taking it off. Yeah, he took it off.

Then we took him there blindfolded. So he didn't know where he was. And then eventually just ended up meeting a few younger people that thought when he just was doing was hilarious. And then they actually ended up hanging out with them on their farm and got like a haircut. And then eventually got like a couple of euros

to take a bus to the border and then another bus. And he kind of just like figured his way back. Who paid for his flight? No, so we were in a neighboring country. So yeah, he had to, there was a few connecting, three or four connecting buses that he could take. But he also didn't know how, like how that would work. So first he had to like, because he didn't have his phone

either, he didn't have internet. So, but when, and the end of like, he ended up meeting these locals in Slovakia, like you never would have experienced that otherwise in his life. And there's just, you know, when you're putting in those situations, he also knows that we're coming from a place of love, right? We're not trying to humiliate him or make him look bad. We're trying to put him in a situation where he just gets an extremely authentic travel experience and like a survival challenge to be like,

now I know that if I'm in a country where I don't speak the language, I don't even know where I am. I can get back to where I came from, which is also a very humbling experience to have. So that's always what it is. Yeah. I agree.

That's a lot of love I can tell. Yeah, because we don't ever want any of us to be in serious harm, right? Like when we were in that ice water, or when Matt is running the Iron Man, like we're in 100% support of each other. And we never want to, it's never like, you know, push yourself in a way that could harm you. Like we're always very cautious of making sure we balance that line of, okay, when is too far?

And it's almost become an instinctual thing now, where we just know and we can feel, okay, yeah, just, just, let's just stop. Let's just not do it. And it is a fine line to know where the limit is. But I think now we're good friends and we can move spend enough time with each other and also with other people in moments of discomfort and a fear to know when it's time to like,

okay, probably he probably got enough. No, it's nice to hear it. And I think it's an important message because I think it's, you know, I think from an immature standpoint, everyone can get very carried away with their culture. But the way I wanted to hear you guys talk about it, because it's never come across that one. And that's why there are times when I would shy away from a challenge when I feel it's coming from a competitive,

comparison place, as opposed to when I feel it's coming from a compassionate, loving. Let's kind of do this space, you know, and it's really interesting to just see how things have changed. You guys remind me of so many things when you took my this bus journey, I did this. I talk about it in my book, think like a monk, I talk about I took a... It was between 48, I can't even remember how long it was, but it was definitely between 48 to 72 hour train journey in India. So it's from Mumbai to South India. So it's a long journey

all the way across, basically a lot of India. And because we were monks, we traveled like third class, like meaning like you're traveling on the cheapest economy level ticket on a train. And the trains in India, like there are people who pay for tickets and then there are people who just jump on and ride as long as they can. So you've got like us sitting on seats but you're now sitting next to three other people who have not paid for that seat and there are all these people on the floors and like it's crowd like it's packed. Wow. Like there's no space and you're trying to breathe and then you go to the the toilet which is literally just like I mean you can imagine it already. So I remember like not eating for two days because I just didn't want to use the restroom.

Like that was the reason. I'm like, no, the reason is just like crap. But it's like having done that and having pushed it and it's funny because we're with one of the senior monks and I was telling him, I was like, I'm not sure I can meditate here either. Like maybe I'll wait till, you know, we get off of the other side

and I'll catch up on my meditation. And he goes, and I remember him saying to me, he goes, he goes, do you remember him saying to me, he goes, he goes, do you think the time of death is going to be peaceful? And I was like, no. And he goes, well, then you should meditate right now if you want to meditate the time of death. But I was like, one.

And he was just like, you can't wait for peace to meditate. If you can meditate in this, then you'll be able to meditate anywhere. And it was just, you know, it was like a really forceful lesson of like, oh, yeah, that's what meditations for, like not waiting for peace, but to find peace within chaos. And so, yeah, we, I, anyway, we'll have to do a separate one where I get to share some stuff.

It's still, it's, what was the most challenging experience you had when you were a monk? Was there a moment where you like really pushed past your limit, but you didn't think you were able to do it. Yeah, loads. I mean, there's stuff like, you know, when you're meditating for eight hours at a time, that's really hard because, and it's almost more, it starts off physically hard because it's sitting in the same place, right, for eight hours. It's dealing with the fact that there might be a mosquito biting you. There might be,

it might be really hot outside, right? The sun in India is really hot. The times are changing around. You've got ants everywhere. You've got all these things going on. So it starts of being like a physical pain. And then it's almost like when you finally, when you realize, like you said, with the cold in the same way, you can't, as soon as you start shivering or as soon as I start itching and scratching myself, my meditation's over. And now you just lost in the physical. But as soon as you go inward, you're now dealing with all the noise up here. So now it's all like the self-doubt.

Now it's like the constant conversation, the noise of opinions, the noise of all the ego coming up, humiliation, all the questioning. So you're now lost in this mental space. And like all the kind of like every piece of self-doubt, every question you've ever been asked, all the like, all the mistakes you've made, or everything, just everything just comes to the fore. And now you're dealing with that. And then you have to go beyond that to finally reach a space of quiet. So it's much more of a subtle internal battle as opposed to an external pain, which I think all of it is like even hearing you say that like it's funny.

Our teachers used to say that whenever you get stuck in meditation, you should meditate and pray for those who are in need. So you would think of someone who needs that extra hour of your meditation and you would dedicate that extra hour or half an hour of your meditation to that person Because that compassion would pull you through even if you weren't doing it for yourself when you felt you were doing it for someone else You could break through so hearing you say that was the super powerful like so so for me it was more Yeah, it was more like having to break through that noise and and really being able to silence and quiet the mind, fasting was really tough. Like I don't know if you guys have tried any fasts,

but when we would do like no food and no water for three days in a row. No water, other. Yeah, no water either. Like that kind of stuff was really tough. While having the melody. Yeah, and you can't sleep, like you can sleep normal hours that you sleep,

but you can't sleep during the day to avoid being awake. And so stuff like that was, that's when, when I started fast, because I was like, you can't live without food, like, you know, that feeling or water, when you push through that for the first 24 hours that you do it, you're like, oh, wow, like, you know, my body can actually live off of a lot less than, than I believe. So things like that, being an extreme, he and extreme cold, it was never the cold baths, but it was like whether we were at the Foothills of the Himalayas, we would bathe in the Gunga or the Ganges as it's known. And up there, it's freezing.

It's just, it's not nearly at the source of where it comes from. So, yeah, those kind of experts similar to yours, but not in the same, you know, for us it was all, it was spiritually motivated from the point of view of there with some spiritual purification. It was all about cleansing and purifying the mind and breaking the doubts that we have in the mind. So similar to the way you guys are saying it, but... Do you ever, this is kind of weird question.

Do you ever miss that focus? Like, do you ever, because now you're doing so much, you have all these things happening. You live in a Los Angeles, which is probably the easiest city in the entire world for all these things happening. It's the polar opposite of what you were doing before. Do you ever miss that kind of environment? So I feel like I'm applying the same mindset

that I applied there to what I'm doing now. And that's why I feel like I'm still thinking like a monk. And I feel like you guys are too, because all I'm doing is then the noise is different. The challenge is different, but the mindset needed is the same, right? It's like, it's like taking that same mindset of how do we not get distracted in the noise? How do you not get carried away? How do you not get lost in what's happening here? So I feel like I'm using that toolkit, and I have to constantly sharpen that toolkit and get better at it.

But I kind of love being challenged the same way as we said, like it's a different challenge, it's a new challenge. And now the challenge is far more mental and subtle and almost less gross and physical. But it's still there. And I enjoy that. I think I thrive off of that as well. It's just that the challenge is not as tangible anymore. It's not necessarily breakthroughing a number of days or a number of minutes, but it's breaking through your ego, which is really hard and painful to look at.

It's a tough one. It's that kind of challenge. So no, I feel sorry, man. I just feel like, yeah, I feel like it's a different challenge. Do I miss, I go back and stay with the monks again every year. So I still do that every December and January. Me and my wife go back and we spend two to three weeks meditating again for long amounts of time

and with the monks and everything. So I kind of really get to relive it. And I feel like the challenges I have now make me more grateful for those experiences. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. You have more experience with that stuff than all of us actually. And so do you with everything you've done.

Okay. I can talk to you guys for hours. I know you guys have got to leave soon. So I want to, I feel like we need to do a part two as well. That would be great Yeah, like I have learned so much from you guys I already respected you guys like up here and now my respect for you guys I'm roof like I already was in love with you guys and now I'm like more enough of you guys I just like you're your special man like I love what you guys are doing like and I love how

Genuine sincere and and and deep you guys are about it. Like I think that's what I love about it the most, that your intention is so good. And that's why so many people are in love with you guys. We picked out this fan comment and appreciation. I'm sure you get tons of these, but we picked this out because I wanted to share with you. So these guys were one of the main reasons I overcame depression and anxiety a few months ago. I suppose my story relates most to what Thomas was saying at the end, that yes, theory is not about quitting your job or dropping everything,

but just about making time to do things that take you out of your comfort zone. I mean, how does it feel when you hear people breaking through like depression and anxiety? And I'm sure you've had, you know, all sorts of feedback. How does that feel when you hear people breaking through depression and anxiety? And I'm sure you've had all sorts of feedback. How does that feel when you hear that? Relatable because we struggle with both of those things a lot. And the reason we're so obsessed with the messages because it's been a path for us as well. So I see myself in a message like that completely.

When we first met, we were anxious, messes trying to figure out life, and we still struggle with the anxiety. And obviously meditation helps being around people like you helps and discomfort helps. And that's why the person like that, not only benefits from I guess, you know, the content watching us, but from the community that they create around themselves.

And the only reason we've been able to do what we do and grow as people is because of, you know, our community. So it's every single time, it's just like, damn, that's me too, you know. You know, we're in this together, baby. Yeah, absolutely. And it's, I mean, it's an amazing byproduct of what it is that we're creating.

And we're so grateful that we're making videos that can touch people in that way. Because as Matt said, like anxiety has been something we've struggled with and a more struggled with, depression, so to be able to give people something that gets them out of that headspace or at least makes them realize that it's possible is the most rewarding part of everything that we do. And do you feel that your service is also your antidote to that depression inside?

Absolutely. Do you feel like what you're doing is what helps you get through it or what are you guys using to, apart from meditation or being around the right people? What else are you guys doing to get through that yourself? I think other than the classic, you know, exercise therapy, all that. Which is all important stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Much needed. Yeah, I mean, I feel like if people don't have a great morning routine based around, you know, for us, it is a macomy into meditation and exercise and then, you know, weekly therapy

and then just journaling as well. All of these basic things seem quite simple and people, you hear them everywhere, but there's a reason why everyone says they're beneficial for us. It's because they actually does make a difference. So for me, like, giving myself time in the morning to do it too, so I'm not just rushing it to be like,

okay, I'm going to meditate five minutes and then exercise 20 minutes, but rather like being intentional with it has made a big difference. I think the honestly challenging who you think you are, like finding ways to challenge these constructs that you've built in your head, like I am a depressed person.

I am an anxious person. No, you're not, but you're doing all these things that reinforce that story. So how do you shift that story? And honestly, doing extreme challenges for yourself starts to, you start to question all these things you've told yourself your whole life. That's why it's so important to do something in like that really you think. And this is coming from someone who is anxious. Yeah, and who has said, I am anxious all the time. I'm an anxious person.

I just tell myself that I'm anxious person. And they're like, no, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. But then that's the first step of being like, there is a version of me that can't experience less anxiety and also accept the fact that anxiety is a part of the scope of emotions That that everybody in the world experiences and if you know with intention create the right habits to

To limit that then you can actually end up on the other side feeling much more fulfilled and calm and grateful every single day so Yeah, amazing man you guys are brilliant. I can dive into so much more. We definitely have to do a part two, but we end every podcast with two segments, fill in the blanks and the fast five. So we're going to start with fill in the blanks. So each of you get a chance to just fill in the the sentence. So, content creators are. I'll say winging it. Winging it. Yeah. Everybody else. I would say winging it. Winging it, yeah. Like everybody else.

I guess so. Okay, nice. Good answer. All right. The internet is either of you can go. Messy and beautiful. What was what I thought? A beautiful disaster, yeah. Okay.

Seeking discomfort doesn't mean... Recklessness. Oh, I agree with that. Okay. Yes theory at its core helps people become free and connected. What impresses me most about humans is their ability to overcome challenges, redefine themselves. I always say no to first one I thought it was pointless

parties. That's a great one. Yeah. Definitely no to pointless parties and no to anyone who doesn't make you feel free. Nice. Change your life by saying yes to small things like. Cool showers. We did a lot of this. And journaling. That's the new one for me. Nice. Yeah, journaling is huge. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You can choose love over fear by being kind when it isn't convenient. Realizing that it's a choice. Nice. Amazing. That was good guys. Fill in the blank choice. Nice. Amazing. That was good, guys. Fill in the blanks.

Okay. These are your fast five. So these are fast five rapid fire, quick fire, onces. Okay. Okay. The last kind thing you've done for a stranger. I guess you guys do loads. I was a homeless guy sitting on the side of the street and I wasn't going to stop.

I bypassed him and then he his cart fell on the side of the street and I wasn't going to stop. I bike passed him and then he his cart fell on the side of the road. And my instinct was I'm too busy. I got to go do my thing and then I turned around and asked him if you needed help and he was like, yes, please. I immediately he was like, thank you. He couldn't lift it himself. So I just helped him get up and then I saw he was walking to subway. So I just offered to buy him the dinner.

And he was just super grateful and I came seconds away from just talking my way out of it, but very glad that I did. Awesome, Matt. We are most recent thing that we did as a group was renovating in a lady's house who, her backyard, yeah, that we met because someone said that she was the kindest person that they met. That felt really good. Is that video out? Yeah. Oh, nice. Okay. Take that out. Okay. We're given. What's that? What have you been chasing in your life that you no longer like chasing, that you know, realize you're not chasing anymore. Mm. Matt, your face.

Ah. At least something that I'm trying to pursue less is too much weight on approval of others, but trying to always check myself. Am I doing this for myself in a place of growth? Am I doing it because I want somebody else to think that I'm something that I'm not? Yeah.

I'm trying to pursue less of catastrophizing. Trying to, it's not the end of the world. If certain things don't go right sometimes. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. It's an anxious man I can relate.

The bad one, the one video you'd love my audience to watch and why one of your videos that you'd love my audience to go check out after listening to this interview. I think the two that we mentioned are in the way of half-documentary. Yeah, they're great. You're very proud of those. Great, all right guys, actually you go check those out. I say question number four, if you could create a law for everyone in the world to follow, what would it be? That's an amazing question. I got it from my similar, from my good friend, drama. No drama. Yeah, so he asked me a similar question. I would say, like doing a random act of kindness on a weekly basis, like getting out of your way

to help a complete stranger or maybe someone in your family or friend without them needing to ask you for help, just offering it or trying to get one step ahead and then seeing that you can offer hand. Nice. Yeah. That's a good one.

To tell someone something you're afraid of. Interesting. Mm-hmm. To do you know you're afraid of? Yeah. That's a unique one for sure. Nice. All right.

Fifth and final question. What was your biggest lesson personally from the last 12 months? The biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months? From me, it's perspective. I've been thinking about it a lot, the past few, especially the past 12 months. From me, it's perspective. I've been thinking about it a lot the past few, especially the past few weeks. Just I can, I'm in control of how I see a situation and I can be extremely upset or, you know, feel defeated from a failure or I can decide to see it as a learning lesson.

Something that I love recently is life doesn't happen to you. It happens for you. I'm sure you've heard that quote before. And just having that perspective, and always reminding myself of that has been such a life changing lesson. I think the lesson for me is, and I think you both,

because you've been in longer relationships than I have, especially you, Jay. But advice somebody recently gave me is when you're, especially starting to see someone that you're interested in, that it's never supposed to be field hard, that it should actually feel, whether it's a friend or somebody you're dating, it should feel very easy and very open.

And I think I've always had this common misconception that it's supposed to be this difficult romantic struggle or whatever. But I think, yeah, now I don't know, I've kind of realized after struggling with many different kinds of relationships that the best ones are actually the easiest where you feel the most comfortable with the person. I love it guys. That's, yes, theory everyone. You guys are amazing. Thank you. Cheers dude. Thank you. Thank you for doing this man. Appreciate it.

You guys are just, yeah, you guys are brilliant and I hope that today is allowed people to see the, the depths of your minds and just how, how much you will both dedicate to this process. Like you guys are really living it, you know, and that's, that's the best part about it. You guys are genuinely testing yourselves. You can see how much growth and learnings happening in those minds and, and through the lives that you're living. And yeah, I'm so excited for you to, I'm so excited to be friends for decades. I would do.

Because I feel like, you know, we're all so lucky that we're meeting each other now. And I feel like one day we're gonna look back from when like 70 years old. Eight years old. We're gonna look back at like all the stuff we used to say and all the stuff we used to do. And it's gonna be fun to be able to live that life together. It's going to be exciting.

I'm so grateful to know you guys right now. I'm just so excited to see what you've got. Except for your podcast. That's about to launch. Tell us a bit about that and tell us a bit about why people should listen to it and where people can find it. And why you started one. It's finally an opportunity for us to go deeper. And in the videos, you can't always really understand

how an experience became powerful and how what we actually learned from it. And so it's an opportunity for us to bring in some of the most, I guess it's an opportunity for us to bring in some of the most exciting people that we've met along the way that have truly changed our lives and dive deep into what we've learned and how you can apply it into your own life. So obviously your podcast is very targeted, you know, is very oriented towards a self-improvement and at the core of our message, that's what, you know, we definitely align on that.

And so what we want to do is just give people opportunity to really dive deep into the topic of discomfort and into self-improvement to then just be able to grow and as a community and as individuals. Amazing. What's the podcast for? It's called the Yes Theory Podcast. Easy. It's easy. Is that anything you want to say about the phone? It's launching. Do we have the exact date? So it's launching early April. OK, so by the time this is out, people will know that it will only out. So if you listen to this, it's already out.

Yeah. Go and find it. It's an opportunity to dive deep into this comfort and hopefully get some incredibly insightful conversations. Amazing, man. Yeah, go follow these guys across Instagram. Follow them on YouTube. Of course, subscribe if you haven't already.

Go check out the podcast. Highly recommend everything they put out And yeah, so great for the have you guys on thank you so much man. Appreciate it read your book. Yeah, I'm excited to get it to you Yeah, yeah Congratulations on that Thanks everyone for listening Make sure you share on Instagram the biggest takeaways from Matt and Thomas and Amar and spirit Tag us all in on Instagram to let us know what you gained, what you learned,

which was the wisdom nuggets that stood out to you and I can't wait to see them. Make sure to tag all of us so that we can reciprocate and engage with you guys. Thank you so much for listening. Take care. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience,

and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War Two? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to Kittnapp her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more

on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHART

Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care.