Oversharing - The Secret To Finding Meaningful Connections

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Has the rise of social media left everyone feeling lonelier than ever? Jordana and Naomi tackle this challenging question and try to figure out why we often feel less connected, even when our online interactions are on the rise. Naomi offers some lessons from the group therapy sessions she leads, and they talk about the way the pandemic has affected introverts. They also discuss the way friends are made and maintained early in life compared to when you hit your 30’s and 40’s. Why is it so hard to make new friends as you get older, and how do you even meet new people anyway? Jordana shares her experience with traveling and breaking outside of her comfort zone. Finally, they offer some tips for spending quality time and finding your “friendship pickup line” at the salon. Thanks again to our presenting sponsor essie. For more information, visit: essie.com/colors-and-connection Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is brought to you by Essie. Have you ever felt lonely? The world has never been more connected by technology, but an overwhelming amount of people are struggling with extreme disconnection from others. Loneliness has been called an epidemic and a public health threat, and experts are finding that the always connected younger generation is feeling the most lonely. Our favorite nail polish brand, Essie, has made it their mission to help combat loneliness with the power of colors and connection through its hands-all-in initiative. How else is Essie sparking joy? Through hands-all-in, Essie is fostering meaningful connections. at college campuses across the country through tailored workshops in partnership with Project

Unlonly. If you're feeling lonely, you're not alone. And Essie is here to help. For more information, visitessi.com slash colors and connection. That's ESSIE.com slash colors dash and dash connection. A quick note before we get into the episode, Oversharing is a podcast for entertainment purposes only. It is not a medical podcast and does not constitute medical or psychological advice.

always seek the advice of your physician or mental health professional. Hello and welcome back to oversharing. I'm Jordana Abraham. And I'm Dr. Naomi Bernstein. And today we're doing a slightly different episode of the podcast than we usually do. Our favorite nail polish brand, Essie, has made it their mission to help combat loneliness with the power of colors and connection through their hands all in initiative. So today we're going to discuss the topic of friendship and connection and why people may be feeling

lonelier than ever. So Naomi, from a therapist's point of view, what do you usually see sort of coming around on this topic in particular? Well, I do think that the pandemic has kind of changed the whole culture around loneliness and how people are connecting. There was a two-year period where people were doing only Zoom drinks and, you know, connecting with friends via social media. And I think that that has kind of perpetuated despite being, you know, more able to see people in person and do things in person where it's become kind of this habit of staying connected online. And it has its benefits, but it definitely also has its drawbacks for sure. I think a lot of times the connecting that people are doing online, and we talk a lot about here about like vulnerability. So the

connecting that people are doing online is not really that vulnerable. type of connection. It's more, I'm presenting an image and then I want you to comment about the image that I'm presenting or I'm sending you something funny, which is not bad, but it's not that deep vulnerable type of connection that I think we were having beforehand. And I think even sometimes when it is vulnerable, it's still kind of sort of curated. You see this on Instagram a little bit where sometimes you have a vulnerable moment that it looks like, but it almost seems to have like a message at the end that seems to be, you know, it's, you're over the hump and you're looking back or something like that. Or also on TikTok, I mean, I'm, I assume you're not super active on

TikTok. I'm not avid, but I know what it is. And I've seen, I've seen some stuff. So yeah, I'm in the loop. But I notice sometimes there's the videos of, influencers or people who are big on TikTok and they're crying on TikTok and it's like the video of them crying and I'm kind of like you still have to film this. It almost seems by the act of displaying it to the world does still feel like it's not totally raw. It's not a real super authentic thing. And I think we're all guilty of this in positive or negative news or things like that where we are sharing this version, which we want to seem like, oh, I'm real, I'm who I am. But even just the act of putting it out there makes it less real.

Almost like once you see, once you have the picture in your mind of like there's somebody filming this or you've set up your camera, it's like you can't unsee that in your mind. You know, like you've set up the camera and then started crying or somehow that it's, I get what you're saying it does once you think about it from that perspective it's hard to kind of see it any other way so right you know look I think there's a some value to that to showing not everyone's okay but and I you know there are other ways to do it online if you really are you know in this place where you've gotten in the habit of not you know of doing a lot of things virtually like I run uh virtual group therapy. And so I think that's kind of a great place to be able to be genuinely vulnerable. Like,

I'm not setting up a camera and then talking about how I feel. There's these open conversations that happen and people that are relating in real time to whatever it is that their struggles are and they meet every single week and they look forward to this time where, yes, it's all virtual. And these are people that you're never going to meet in real life. So it does also allow like an extra level of vulnerability in some ways because it's not. somebody that you is going to talk to somebody else that you know or is going to be you know there's no gossip type stuff going through those circles so I think that's if there is a way to connect in a way that feels really vulnerable you know online group therapy might be a great way for

some people to do that I think that's great because you also in that sense you get the commiseration of because a lot of the times when you feel lonely or you feel insecure or you just feel bad about your situation, it can feel like you're the only one who feels that way and it feels like there's something wrong with you. And I think the idea of a group setting or group therapy session or a lot of people see this through, you know, that's the ways that technology can be helpful for us.

You're in this group of other people. They're commiserating with you. They're like, I feel that way too, where I've had this experience too. And I've come out on the other end of it, which can feel either I've come out on the other. end or I here's what I've done that's worked for me. Maybe it could work for you. I think that's super helpful. And I don't know if you're in any Facebook groups. I feel like. Yeah, that's a similar vibe.

Yeah. It's a little bit more like touchy, I think, because you don't see the person or hear the tone. And sometimes you see even like fights or disagreements or something be construed the wrong way. And sometimes I think those are not as good as a group, a virtual group therapy session. But sometimes it's like if you're going through an issue and then you see someone post about that issue, it can feel like, okay, I'm not alone in this. Yes. And I do think that the group therapy, the sessions that I run kind of are exactly that, but they take that aspect out of it where people can kind of hide behind their screens

and like say something mean and like just disappear or like sit back and watch the reactions where these are real people that meet each other every single week. So there's like a sense of like kindness and and accountability for how you're treating each other. Like we are really a support group, a group of people that meet every single week and you look forward and you get to know know each other. And it's like a place where it's all about being vulnerable. And it takes a way that there's none of that. There's none of this like meanness. There is sometimes where people will give very honest feedback and ask a question that.

might have a person really have to look a little bit deeper into it, but it's always done with kindness, and it's always done in a super empathic way. So it takes away that Facebook group thing of somebody just being in a bad mood and throwing something out there that doesn't come off very kind. What kind of topics do you talk about

in these virtual group therapy sessions? So the group that I run is it's a relationships group. So basically anything interpret. very similar to probably a lot of what we talk about here. So whether it's dating relationships, marriage relationships, sibling relationships, parent, work, boss, it's basically all just like interpersonal struggles that people have. So it really runs the gamut. There is a decent amount of it. Actually, I mean, the more I think about it, initially I thought it was going to be a lot of dating type stuff or like romantic relationship stuff.

but oftentimes there's a lot of, you know, content that's just about, you know, family stuff or work relationship. So it's, you know, and it's exactly what you said. It's really nice that people can relate to each other in that way and come and know every week I'm going to come to this place. I'm going to be heard. I'm going to be understood and I'm going to be respected. And what's your role in this group? So it's interesting because I think sometimes a lot of people really prefer the group over the individual because, you know, sometimes I'll give my little tidbits of, you know, ways to change the way you think or think about things differently. But a lot of times, I feel like people like it better because they don't necessarily, you don't always want how to fix

it or how to change. Sometimes you just want, I know what you're going through and I'm going to actually tell you that I know what I'm going through because I'm going to explain the whole story to you versus a therapist. I'm not going to tell somebody my personal stories in the therapy session. It's about them. So this is a great place to do that. So I will give some guidance or if I feel like I have a good strategy or a way that you can conceptualize something, I'll give that. But most of it is just me making sure people have time to speak, me bringing up different topics. But it really kind of runs itself a lot of times, which it's just a testament to the fact that people really want hear from other people besides me. Right. And they want to connect. I think that's a great

thing to do or depending. I mean, it seems like it's good for all sorts of situations. How does someone get involved in this kind of group? Yeah. So if anyone is interested in joining the groups that I run, you can just send me an email at Dr. Naomi at yahoo.com. So D-R-N-A-O-M-I at yahoo.com. And I have room in my groups and you can hop in. Well, excuse the Yahoo email address because you are of a different generation. I just don't know how to switch. It just seems so. Next time I see you, we're going to make a Gmail account.

Yeah, but then everything has to have to go back and switch everything. You can forward it. No, you just have. You think the Yahoo's bad. I already have a forwarding from my maiden name email to my new professional email that I did probably 15 years ago. So I'm still getting forwarded from that email. That's fine.

It's automatic. Yeah. That's new. Just for anyone listening who's like, I don't know if I can be part of something with the Yahoo email address. Email to Dan, she'll forward it to me. If you cannot bring yourself to type the letters, Yahoo.

Don't worry. It's safe. She's not going to steal all your information. But yeah. I think it's a great mechanism for combating loneliness and also, again, just connecting to other people who are also the other thing about that which kind of remains unsaid is that everyone there wants to be having this conversation and wants to be there and wants to be talking about those things whereas sometimes if it's like you ever have a friend or a family

member and they're they're texting you with like a really heavy intense issue and you're kind of like I'm in a meeting right or I'm not or even forget that even if it's just I'm kind of just trying to enjoy my Sunday. Like I'm just watching a movie. I just, I don't necessarily, I'm not in the mode to be doing this kind of thing. And on occasion, you're, the person's available. But you do kind of have to get lucky to find the person in the right state and the right frame of mind to be like, I'm ready to delve into this with you and have this conversation.

What I love about this therapy group is everyone's coming there ready to have these kinds of conversations in the right mindset and in the right mode to do that. Totally. I'm glad you brought it up. I do think a lot and something I see in my practice a lot is people that are struggling, that are feeling lonely, that are feeling isolated. Sometimes they feel if their friends are either not in that place or their friends are coping with being in that place in a way that is not like leaning into it or not wanting to talk about it. There is this feeling of like I'm burdening people and so that can create more isolation where you don't want to send that text to your friend because exactly what you described. you're afraid that they're not going to be in the mood for it. Or sometimes, and we've talked about this on here,

sometimes someone will say, like, I'm sorry, I don't have the bandwidth to, like, have this conversation right now. And that feels really rejecting and really hard, you know? But it's also within that other person's kind of right to say, hey, I'm going through my own stuff. Like, I just can't be there for you in that way right now. But that is really hurtful and can lead people to just kind of be like,

whoa, I'm never going to do that again. Like, I'm never going to put myself, my stuff out there. Yeah. So having a group like this is a way like exactly what you said, where you know everyone on Monday night at 8 o'clock, they're signing in to like have these conversations and they want to be there and they want to hear what you have to say. So yeah, that's a huge part of it too. That whole mystery of is this the right time for someone. Are they capable of handling what I'm feeling right now is kind of taken out of it? So yeah. And you get, because I assume it's video, right?

Yeah. You get to a different part. And I do think, obviously, you know, we were just talking about technology and social media and even just texting makes it so easy to communicate with people. But it's not the same level to me of connection as seeing someone's face as them telling you about something they're going through and you see their facial expressions or their body kind of like their body language change. around it. And that can really make you feel a lot more connected. I think there's a, there's, um, it's very underrated form of connection, either FaceTime or just, or in person or seeing someone. You really do get more of a sense of what the person's going through than you would if someone's texting you about their feelings to me personally, I, I feel like I connect in a much deeper way,

that way. Right. And I think the reason why and it's like what we talk about. about in terms of romantic relationships. Like, you know that they're not multitasking when they're talking to you. Like, if you're watching them, you know that they're not like scrolling on their phone while they're messaging you or they're not watching TV, you know, or talking to you're not watching TV while they're texting you. Like they are, you're sharing a moment together. We are in this moment together.

I'm looking at you. You're looking at me. We're here in it, you know, doing the same thing at the same time, which is that avenue you for connection. It's the same reason why if you're talking to your partner about how you feel about something and they're looking at their phone or they're doing something else, it just kind of takes away the whole feeling of connection. So yeah, the video helps because it, you know, and sometimes people will come on and like not have their camera on and I'm always urging them like if you're going to be here, like I'm like that annoying boss that tells you to turn your camera on. But for that reason,

I'm just like, if you're going to be here, it's really helpful. If you can try to turn your camera on. Well, also because people don't really, I feel like it's so much harder to trust a black screen. I'm always speaking. Like you're not going to feel connected to that person. You're not going to be necessarily, I don't feel like I would feel comfortable speaking.

If everyone else was, you know, you could see that. You want to feel trust, seeing someone and seeing their face and seeing them, that they're not texting while you're speaking. It makes you feel more trustworthy. We have that conversation. the other day about sort of how introverts have fared during the pandemic. And I don't know you remember we had this conversation kind of over text.

And that sometimes speaking of loneliness and pandemic and how it affects people, people that would describe themselves as introverts, I think, have had an interesting journey through the pandemic where you sort of got permission for several years to just embrace your, introvertedness and not have to kind of expose yourself to the stressors of being social in person. And I think it really has, I always say, avoidance is like fuel for anxiety. So the more you avoid something, the more the anxiety is going to build when you actually go out and do that thing. So I think, you know, speaking to loneliness, people who have had two years of kind of having permission to not go. And even the lingering effects of like, oh, I have a sniffle. Like, it might be COVID.

I can't go. Right. Leaning into that. Yes. Leaning hard into, I don't know what you see in your kind of friend group with that or the people that you socialize. If you've noticed that the people who are kind of introverted to start with have sort of, it's turned into a monster of some sort for people that tend to be introverted, that it really, the loneliness aspect of that may be. exacerbated. Yeah. I mean, I feel that with myself, not necessarily with loneliness, but just with a fear of, I've never liked meeting new people.

I think it's more for me with that new people. I have no problem going out and seeing my friends like I used to. But the idea of meeting someone new or going to a place and socializing for or hang, even going, honestly, going into the office, I'm kind of like, I have to think of things to say to every, like, how long do I have to do I have to do. speak to Right. Small talk is not probably your favorite thing.

Right. And then I get anxious that I come off rude or because there has been a sense of increased efficiency in the working from home air. Like you start the Zoom, you start the meeting and then it's done. There's not a ton of, oh, like I'm,

I'm refilling my water bottle in, in the office and then we're talking about a weekend or, you know, I have to think of questions to ask, even if I'm not in the mood, that kind of thing. Right. Totally. So I think it probably makes it hard for people that are looking for new friends or people that are looking to branch out or, you know, are feeling lonely and looking, especially,

one, the introverts that don't feel comfortable with that anyway, but even people that are just looking to meet new people and make new connections, it can be hard when, like you said, there's this culture of efficiency where it's like nobody has room for the chit-chat and the small talk. And, you know, just like, oh, I thought, you know what, I've been in that position even with like, you know, just how you change how you make friends throughout as you go throughout the course of your life. So now I'm at the stage where I'm trying to make friends with the parents of my kids friends. And sometimes there's this thing where it's like, I'm going to rush. I'm coming to pick up my kid. I'm going to grab them. I'm going to go. I have to go to the soccer. I have to go this. And like somebody is like rushing and running around. And I'm kind of like, but I like, I thought we kind of have. a good chat last time and now you're like rushing and there's no room to maybe bring it to the next level where we're going to exchange phone numbers or something like that where we can have a hang because everybody's like busy and running and doing. So I think that that might be exacerbating this loneliness factor for some people too. No, I totally agree with that. And I think this,

I mean, I think that brings us to another interesting topic, which is sort of the way that friends are made and maintained over the course of your lifetime. Because, I mean, I remember in college, probably one of our brothers said to me, like, you're never going to spend as much time with your friends as you do in college. You live together. You go to school together. You go out together. Right.

There are your entire existence, really, I guess, unless you have a college boyfriend. But it's just never a world where friendship is really the main driver of your whole life. Yes. It's a big adjustment when you come out of that. I think a lot of people like after college feel super lost and just like the track is the track has ended. You go from kindergarten to first and then you go to middle school and then you go to high school and then you go to college and now it's like, okay, the track has ended.

There's this whole big world out there. I don't live with my friends anymore. I have to like make friends in the wild and I don't really know how to do that or maintaining those old friendships on top of like my career track. has ended, like my day-to-day track has ended. So it is a big adjustment in terms of how to move from living with your friends. And it's so easy at that point. Like you're just, you know, friends are bringing over friends and there's parties and, you know, to in your 30s or even in your mid to late 20s, there's, you have to actually put effort into it. Yeah. And I think there's a

lot more distract. The older you get, the less of a priority friendship feels like because, you know, you're getting married or you're having kids and a lot of those friendships that were, again, like the main relationships in your life are no longer a priority for some people. I mean, so for some people, for those who are not married or in relationships or have kids, those are still like the main friendships in their life, but for other people, it feels like you're being replaced with other more quote unquote important friendships. It's funny. I actually read this article, I think, in the cut,

and it was basically like, sex in the city told me that, like, my friends and I would be doing this forever, but it's actually just me who's doing this forever. Like, my friend, like, because in sex in the city, they're all, they all, you know, they have dinner every week or they're talking about the guys they're with every week

or even the one with, it's like the one who has the kid is the out, is like, they're just kind of like trying to hide the kid. Right, right. But that's not. I think in more accurate reflection is really one of the girls from Sex and the City is there in her 30s and the rest are kind of married or they're hanging out but it's a lot less frequent is probably the more accurate portrayal of that. Yes, for sure. And I think it does, you know, give this impression that it's always going to stay the same and you're going to have your friend group, whether it's your college, you know, an adult friend group. And it's tough because even, you know, sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to bring work friendships out of work because there's like a line that you don't really want to cross or, you know, you don't want to have a friend that, you know, I think some people have a hard time mixing work friends with like personal friends almost. And where else are you really going to meet people as an adult, if not work, you know?

So it's it's not easy. But I do think one of the solutions is really prioritizing that. you said, you don't typically prioritize it because, and maybe you do get comfortable kind of being introverted and not having to go out into the world and not having to make new friends and put yourself in that uncomfortable position like what you're describing, where you're like, okay, maybe I'm going to express the fact that I have a cough this time because like it's a situation with new people and I'm a little bit uncomfortable. And then everyone's going to be like, okay, if you have a cough, stay home. Like, we don't need you here. And you're like, great. Right. And it's an easy out versus you

kind of, you know, pushing yourself a little bit, if you're feeling lonely, pushing yourself a little bit to say, like, this is not going to be the most comfortable thing, but I'm going to do it anyway. And just really making a point, especially if you have an inn and you're not going like into something just cold by yourself, like not knowing anybody. If a friend invites you to something with new people and you're a little bit uncomfortable, it's a great opportunity, you know, to push yourself and say, like, I'm just going to give myself a little bit of exposure therapy here. If I want to leave after an hour,

I can leave after an hour. Yeah. And that kind of exposure therapy, I actually feel like proves to you, you know, because everyone has an idea in their head that they think is reality. And the narrative that they tell themselves

that they think is reality. And the narrative, I'll give myself as a personal example. My narrative is, I don't like speaking to people that are not my very close friends. I don't like small talk. I am anxious around, you know,

the fear of having to have a long, boring conversation with someone I don't like. And so that's just not for me. Yes. Right. And so you don't do it or you don't go to things. But it's funny. So I went on the U-Up tour,

we went to six different cities and I would travel with a lot of the, the Betches, U-Up team. In 2019, we did this tour, and I would really kind of go to bed after every show. Right. But this time, and maybe it's also because I was a little bit more anxious in my relationship

or preoccupied with that. And this time I know I feel like married, settled, like good and maybe a little bit more open to experimentation with my social surroundings. Right. When everyone after usually goes out for like a drink or to drinks or to a bar. And I was kind of like, all right, I'm going to go. I'll have one drink. Right.

And then I'll go home. I'll put up in some base. I have one drink. And then it started, you know, we did six, we did six shows in five, six different cities. And it started out with one drink, okay, and then I'm going to go home. And then as the tour went on, I was like enjoying it more and more and having a better and better time because that fear or that story that I told myself was kind of, you don't like to do this.

But then I did it. And I had some fun, interesting conversations. And I had a good time. And I spoke to people that I wasn't necessarily getting to that sort of like, intimate or interesting conversation with. And by the end of it, I, you know, I was having a great time doing that. I was looking forward to doing that after. So, dancing on tables and doing body shots. Totally. Yeah. No, I love it. I love the fact. I love what you said about like the story that

you tell yourself about your own identity and kind of checking that. Like, is this the story that I just tell myself to keep myself comfortable, so I don't have to do the thing that stresses me out. And I think it's great for people to kind of check in with what is, what's the identity story that you tell yourself that maybe end up keeping you isolated because you just don't want, you know, to have to deal with the anxiety that comes from social situations. I talk to a lot of patients that have, and I don't know if you have this, but have this pervasive fear of like, did I say something stupid. Like you said before, you have a, you know, kind of thoughts of like, did I come off rude? Or you're kind of like having this anxiety about how you're being perceived by others. I think that's super

common and does tend to make people avoid social situations because they're like, maybe it's fine when I'm in it, but then when I get home, I start ruminating about all the things that I might have said that were stupid or all the ways that people might be judging me or thinking about me or not liking me. So that's a pretty common thing that keeps people isolated too. I've definitely had that fear. And I think it's almost like a lot of it can be traced to what's a time in your past when someone said that you were that way? And then you took it and you, you ingrained it and you've adopted it as your identity when it was really just one experience that made, you know, made you think that you were that way. But you're, no one is all of anything. No one is,

most things are situational. You know what I mean? Most people who are rude to you are having a bad day or most people are in a rush or and I think there's a tendency to ingrain that trait into yourself and say that's who I am,

but most people I don't think are so rigid in their attributes that that's just, you know, who they are. For sure. We're all just, I mean, and this helps with anxiety, depression, social anxiety,

any of it, we are all just waves of emotion and thoughts and, you know, even the physical, you know, presence of you is a wave that comes and it goes. You're in that bar and then you're out of that bar. You're feeling anxious and then the anxiety passes. So even if you did say something stupid to somebody once, okay, that was a thing that happened. It's over. It's gone. And you can come back and just even the idea of being able to accept that some people are not going to like you. And that's okay. You don't like some people. And that's fine too. You know, um, so being able to forgive yourself or, you know, kind of calm that rumination after being in a social situation where you can say, oh my God, I said that thing or that was rude or maybe I

should have stayed a little longer and chatted. Maybe that person perceived me as X, Y or Z. Then just kind of being like, okay, I was just being myself. I was doing the best I can. If somebody likes me, great. Um, if they don't, then that's okay. Yeah. Agreed. And I mean, the only way, and I remember speaking about this, my therapist was he's like, I can tell you a million times that you're going to like meet someone or you'll have fun on a date or you should go out or you should, you know, speak to new people. She's like, but the only way you're going to actually believe that is if you try it. Because if you have one negative experience, then you think you say all, all experiences will be like that. That's, again, like that's a story you're telling yourself. And the only way to really. disprove it in reality.

Like, and you can intellectually say, okay, I know that's not true. But the only real way I think, and he was saying, was to believe it, was to do it and see a different outcome. Totally. Yeah. Like, if you didn't force yourself to go out for that drink, you'd be sitting there still being like, look, I just, this just isn't my thing. Right.

I don't like, you know, I just don't like this. I'm not doing it. It's just not my thing. When you find yourself saying like, this just isn't my thing, question that. What does that mean? Yeah. Why isn't it your thing? Look a little deeper into that because this just isn't my thing is sometimes like this

little safety cage that you put yourself in so you don't have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. I totally agree. And like we were just talking about to bring this episode full circle, it is always really nice to see someone in person and that usually makes you feel more connected when again, anyone who in theory, you're like, we're not going to connect, we're going to have nothing to talk about once you see someone's face, once you see their body language, it's so much easier to do that. And I find, you know, we've talked about this before, but getting a manicure with someone

is such a great low-lift way to connect with them because you also know we're going. It's going to be an hour. The best way to test something is with, like you said, I said before, one drink. Let's go get a manicure. That's an hour-long experience. There's a beginning, a middle, and an end, and I know exactly when it's going to be done. And so it feels less stressful. or fearful, then this is an ongoing, never-ending experience. Right. So I feel like getting a manicure with someone. And this episode is brought to you by Essie is such a great way to connect with someone,

especially if you're kind of like dipping your toes in the pool of connection. Totally. I love it. I just did the other weekend. I bought my bottle of Fiji, which is my favorite Essie color. And I brought it with me to the nail salon because they don't, they didn't have it. I brought it with me, and I had a great time, just kind of like you said, coming in, sitting next to somebody talking, getting your nails done.

The other thing I think along those lines that I actually found happened when I was at the nail salon is like, you can kind of be like, oh, wow, I love that color. Or like sometimes when I'm just out and about, I'll be like, oh, what's your nail color? Like this is my, you know, I'm always my S.E. Fiji on the toes is like my intro. It's like a pickup line. So I can kind of be like, oh my gosh, what's that color? It's so pretty or whatever. And it's just a way to kind of, if there's someone that you're interested in maybe having

more conversation with, you can compliment their nail color and, you know, recommend your favorite and then maybe have more of a conversation, you know, from there. I love that. As a friendship pickup line, what is that color? Yeah, totally. Well, that's it for today's episode of what we're sharing. Thanks again to our presenting sponsor. Essie, I think this was a great conversation.

Don't forget to rate review and follow the show on Apple and Spotify. And if you're feeling lonely, you are not alone and Essie is here to help. For more information, visitessi.com slash colors and connection. That's E S-S-S-I-E dot com slash colors dash and dash connection. And if you've enjoyed this episode and want to show your appreciation for what Essie is doing, send us an email to oversharing at Petch's.com. Or if you want to join Dr. Naomi's group virtual sessions, you can can email Dr. Naomi at Yahoo.com.

That's it. That's our time. Great work today. Oversharing is produced by Sean Kilby, Jorge Morales Pico, and Rebecca Salis McHale. Editing by Massilo Perez. Gas Booking by Alley Friedlander. Send your advice emails to oversharing at betches.com or leave us a voicemail at 646363-6294. Thanks again to our presenting sponsor Essie.

Through hands all in, Essie is fostering meaningful connections at college campuses across the country. An SE manicure with a friend is a great way to connect with someone meaningful to you. If you're feeling lonely, you're not alone. And Essie's here to help. For more information, visit s e.com slash colors and connection. That's e-s-s-s-s-I-e.com slash colors-and-dash connection. Betches.