Oversharing - Why Does My Fiancé Give Me The Ick?

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

This week Jordana and Dr. Naomi are tackling what happens when trust, attraction, and even your career suddenly feel a little shaky. First, an oversharing husband... that's right, a male listener, is trying to rebuild his marriage after financial betrayal and infidelity and wonders how long it takes to earn back trust. Then, a Betchisist with an otherwise amazing fiancé has one problem she can’t seem to shake: his deeply cringey dance moves are giving her the ick just in time for their wedding. An Intention seeker is struggling with post-wedding regret and asks how to forgive herself after enforcing her child-free wedding rule in a way she regretted. In Triggered, a listener questions whether a friend’s questionable use of the “service dog” loophole says something bigger about her character, and how much our friends’ moral choices should affect the way we see them. Finally, a new mom returns from maternity leave only to discover the men she trained may have taken over her responsibilities. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaiaa and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Totally. I love this guy. He's the life of the party. Let him, you know, the boy wants to boogie. Let him boogie. Yes.

A quick note before we get into the episode, Oversharing is a podcast for entertainment purposes only. It is not a medical podcast and does not constitute medical or psychological advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or a mental health professional. Hello and welcome back to Oversharing. I'm Jordana Abraham. And I am Dr. Naomi Bernstein. Hello, hello.

It feels like it's been a minute. hasn't been that long. We missed a week. You went away. Yes. You look so refreshed. I'm joking. Oh, do I look tired?

No, you do not look tired, but I did chat with you about your, you know, not relaxing vacation. So I'm sorry that that was, I got to give it to you. That's bold, taking two babies on a dog to the beach. Well, I didn't mean to take the dog. You'll hear this. If you haven't heard the story on you. up, the dog got kicked out of the borders. Um, so I had to take the dog too. So it was two babies and

the dog all. We were all in one room. Um, and it was crazy. It was not my intention to make it that chaotic, but, um, we had a really good time. It's funny because like you, I, it was a, it didn't, to call it a vacation feels like something that it's not. It was a trip. We had Mike and I made some memories. I guess no, the girls won't remember it. Ron will probably remember it. Um, I was thinking about that. I was like, because, you know, there's all these thoughts about like, they won't remember it. What is worth doing when they won't remember it? But I guess it's kind of like, I'll remember it.

You'll remember it. And I think in some ways, like, I don't know, it depends on what you do. Like there's these little things. Like I always, you know, even like putting their toes in the sand, right? That kind of thing. Like I think there's like this nervous system desensitization things that you can do even before. they remember that's just like sensory memory. You know, like if you let a kid play in the mud or something, then they get comfy or play in

the sand, then they don't, they're not like so scared of the sensation of the sand. Or if you let them get splashed in the face by a wave or not that you did that, they're little. But like for someone who has an older baby, let's say there's someone who has a baby who's like 18 months or and you take them to the beach and you let them get knocked over. by a wave, then they, maybe they don't remember the trip, but they kind of had the experience of getting knocked over by a wave at the beach. And now they have like that little resilient. So they're not, you know, they can kind of learn to have fun with nature in a way that, you know, they wouldn't

have had that experience before. That's true. And it was a nice like bonding experience. I feel like we can pay attention to them in a way that you can't when you're kind of like in between work or like, you know, just like the days errands or like, you know, you kind of like, it's hard to spend that much quality time, especially like with Mike, me and, and them. And just to be able to like really be in the moment with them was really nice. And it was fun. They kind of like, they're starting, every week again, they try to, they do new stuff. So it was just like fun to watch them figure out like a kind a half crawl or like they're kind of starting to speak to each other a little bit. Oh, that's cute. They're kind of like starting to interact, which is just like fun to see.

And yeah, it was a, it was a nice trip. I had, I had fun. I'm very tired from the trip. I need I would love to have a trip alone. Yes. Without anyone. Oh, that's the best. I've always said those are like once you have kids, the only real vacation is without them. I mean, once they're older. it's different. But like, yeah, the only real vacation are the vacations without the kids. Right. You can relax. Close your eyes on the beach and listen to the sounds of the waves or, you know, so you'll get there eventually. I will. So you had mom on you up. Maybe we should debrief that. Yes. After 10 years of podcasting, I decided it was time to expose the audience to our mom. She is of personality. She's definitely a good hang.

Yeah. And you know, it's funny because I've talked about this before. Like, we've had our up and downs. We don't see to eye to eye on everything. I've discussed this on various shows throughout. But it was fun kind of to have her on you up and sort of give the advice that she knows best and to see her charm people, which she is quite charming. She has a, she has, you know, she's a character. And it kind of reminded me of, you know, they have their issues. They have their shit. But like, there are positive things about them and there's things that they bring to the world. Just hearing her talk about like she talked about dating while, you know, dating with kids and what she got from that. And she did have some good insights. And she talks about, you know, she's a gynecologist. She talked about vaginal odors and how to help. You know what I mean?

Like it's kind of, you kind of see your parents, maybe easier to see your parents in a black and white way. And it was nice to kind of see her through the audience's eyes. and they really enjoyed her because she is entertaining. And I'm kind of like, we all need to sort of like take each other for like our best qualities in some ways. Totally. When possible. When possible.

Yes. Yes. And nobody is going to poke your wounds and touch your nerves like your mother. That's just how it is. So it's easy to kind of focus in on all the ways that she, you know, is going to strike nerve with you, but then seeing her in this different context where she does, I mean, we've been hearing the hydrogen peroxide tip for years, you know, like I've been hearing her talk about that. It's a great tip. It works. I've tried it. Yeah. It's, it's awesome. So hearing that and hearing that

as like a new thing for new people, like some of what, you know, it's kind of old hat and then you focus on the negative. So it is kind of cool to have her on and being able to focus on some of the positive aspects that get buried. Obviously, the stuff that gets your nervous system activated usually in a negative way is the stuff that you tend to focus on, especially when it's a family member, especially when it's a parent. So I think this is just for everybody out there. You know, your parents, they find a way to just kind of get under your skin. And that just, bright special way, but it is nice to kind of step back a little bit and see it from a different perspective when you're, you know, introducing her to your audience who don't have that

relationship. And she's coming off with some interesting tips. And I really liked, you know, the idea of being a single mom who's dating and having that be kind of your time for yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Where some, like when you're a mom, all you're doing is taking care of. All you're doing is taking care of. of everyone else and you don't have a partner in that moment to take care of you. So even if you don't like the person you're on a date with, at least they're opening the door and paying for the date and trying to, you know, take you someplace you like or try to please you or, you know, being taken care of for once when you're the, oh, it's the one doing that. So it is interesting, like you're saying, to usually someone where you're kind of, we just tend to be a little nitpicky.

With our parents, I think, to see her in a light where you're like, all right, she's got some good qualities too. Yeah. Or you can see almost like, you know, I always say this, like every negative quality has its opposite positive positive quality and vice versa. So it was fun to like, the eccentricities, I think it's fun to see like the way that that shows up in a positive way. She's not going to be everybody's cup of tea. nobody is everybody's cup of tea. She's blunt. She's going to tell it like it is. And I'm sure, you know, that's great for a lot of people. Like, you want to hear the truth. I enjoyed it. I hope the listeners did too. But it's, yeah, she came prepared. She came prepared. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it was really, it was really cool. It was a bold move. Because, you know, it's kind of like once you get, once that train hits the tracks, it's like, yeah. Well, that's why I debated it back and forth. I was like, should we do this? Should we not do this? And, you know, I'm about to be 37 years old. I'm in a fuck it stage. I'm just like, let's just, let's just do it.

Let's just do it. Yeah. Totally. No, that was, that was cool. Bold, gutsy. And I think it worked. All right. Well, we'll see how that shakes out if that ever happens again.

And, you know, I had our other brother on. So it's been a family moment for me. Yeah, family affair. Yeah, that was great. That was great too. I, you know, it is interesting to see kind of, I'm sure for the listeners, I always found it very interesting, like even the genetic mixture, because it's like kind of like a breeder. Like if you go to a dog breeder and you're like, well, this is the mom and this is the dad. And like you can see that like my two dogs, they have the same dad and different moms. So we always like to joke about like what comes from who, like which traits come from like which, you know, which mom. In this case, which dad. So it's like interesting to see like the brother, you know, the brother that came on like that's my full brother. That's your half brother and like kind of comparing. Yeah, parsed out what's from what dad and what's from what we have in common and what we don't. Yeah. No, that was definitely done a bit. Yes. Yeah. It is interesting to kind of just like,

like the little petri dish genetic experiment that is our family. And just like, you know, where all the personality traits, like the little humor, definitely, you know, they, it came from somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. No. And I think that's, you know, she has a very stronghold on the, on the humor aspect of our family.

Our mom, that is. Yeah. That was so funny when she was saying that she's gifting the world. like the lovely vaginal odor, just like Jonas Salk gave the polio vaccine. I was dying at that. Yeah. She's, you know, equal contributions to society? A hundred percent. She's got jokes. She's got jokes, you know. Let's get into our episode. But before we do, if you guys would like to write us an email, you can email us at oversharing at betches.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 646363-6294. If you want to get even more involved with the show, you can subscribe.

You get all the episodes ad free and a day early. And you also get two bonus episodes a month where we take feedback or we will often speak to a listener or listeners. If you guys want to come on and deal with a family issue, a friend issue, any of that. Please write in. Let us know we'd love to have you on behind the paywall. or if you want to get even more involved than that, if that's not enough involvement for you, you can join one of Dr. Naomi's therapy groups. Yes, please come join us, Naomi Bernstein.com.

Check out my website. You can find out all about what I have available, individual therapy openings, group therapy openings. Come find us, Naomi Bernstein.com. Great news. The federal EV rebate is back. Eligible customers get up to $5,000 with the federal EVAP rebate on select 2027-volt and 2026 Equinox EVM models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager, Ontario only.

Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact connects on. Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGEM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Okay, let's get into our show. I will read our first overshare. This one is from a man. Love that.

Love when men write in. The show is for everyone. Not just people who experience vaginal odors on occasion. Hi, Jordina and Dr. Naomi. I'm writing this to try to get your perspective on my marriage and help processing where we stand as we try to move forward after a massive crisis. Over the past year, my life completely fell apart. I was secretly losing control of our finances, making terrible investments, and gambling away a major portion of our money. I kept my wife completely in the dark about all of it to make matters worse and something I've only recently come to understand through therapy.

The overwhelming loss of control led me to cheat on my wife. When she found out, she asked me to leave. For two months, I moved out. We have three kids. And to protect them, we told them I was helping my mother while my dad was out of the country. During those two months, I started therapy, began taking accountability and started digging into the deep-seated issues that led me to destroy my own life and marriage. After many hard, honest conversations, my wife agreed to give us another chance and I moved back home. Over the last few months, our communication has completely changed. I've been fully open about everything I used to hide, my finances, my emotions, and my internal struggles. I'm fully present. helping out with our three kids, managing our household, and doing everything I can every single day to show her that she and our family are my priority. My therapist tells me I'm taking all the right steps, but I'm struggling with a deep sense of uncertainty. My wife carried trust issues long before we met, so this was an absolute bomb dropped on her life. She oscillates between being happy with me and being deeply conflicted and distant. I even noticed on her phone recently that

she was researching psychological concepts around feeling torn between two opposing emotions at once. My question for you both is about navigating this gray area. I know I don't deserve easy forgiveness or constant reassurance, but without verbal validation from her, I constantly worry. Am I actually making progress in repairing our marriage or am I just back home because it's convenient for raising the kids? How do I measure healing when my partner is understandably terrified to let her guard down? Thank you for any that you can share a recovering husband. I think this is very common, I'm sure, when this happens, right? 100%.

This is sometimes the breaking point, right, is when the unfaithful, we'll just call it unfaithful partner, right? Whether it's, and it could just be a financial betrayal, even if it's not like a, you know, unfaithful romantically. This could just, this, this was, even if it wasn't an affair, if this was, I've seen this happen with just a financial, you know, hiding or losing a bunch of money or this type of thing. So, you know, there is a betrayal. And then, you know, the betrayed partner agrees to work on it. But there is exactly this, this, these waves of some days I feel like I can, or some hours,

I feel like I can move on. And some hours, I feel like I can be close to you or I can, be intimate with you again. And then some hours, I'm completely closed off. And I feel like I'm never going to trust you again. And the, you know, the unfaithful partner can stick through it and feel like, okay, I know I'm kind of in the doghouse and this is what has to happen. And then after about a year or so, sometimes after six months or how, you know, timelines change, they oftentimes begin to reach this point where they're like, is this going to be the rest of my life? Are we never going to get over this? And oftentimes that's when I start to see, you know, then maybe doubting, I can't do this forever. Like, you know. Right. How long can I, or should I be, be expected to be punished for this?

Which I can understand as well, even though it doesn't seem like that person is entitled to anything like, you know, in the strictest form of it. But I think we all kind of like want to feel, we all make mistakes and we do want to feel like we can live a life where we're not reminded of them constantly. But I also think that like it's probably for her. It's more deep than just like accepting, you know, forgiving someone for a betrayal. I'm sure like by getting back with him, she's having her own identity crisis of like, what does it say about me? if I'm able to move on, if I allow someone to do this to me. I think that's probably a big ego thing in addition to, you know, there's the actual

hurt about being betrayed. And there's like, if I, if I move on, what does that say about what I, you know, how much I'll put up with or what I, you know, things that don't even have to do with him. Right. Probably. Yeah, 100%. What type of person, you know, like we always talk about what does it mean about me? What does it mean about my future?

Like, whatever this thing. is that I'm going to choose to do. So yeah, I think that's a big part of it. And then I think there is this also push pull on her part of like, if I do decide my psyche will not let me completely let go. Because there is this fear that if I completely let go, we will both forget about this thing. And if we both forget about it, then one, you will have gotten completely away. with it, which doesn't feel fair. And two, it could happen again because we'll both let our guard down and then we'll both potentially be back to where we were. So it's almost like, I always say with couples like this, you are starting a brand new relationship. You cannot go back to the relationship

you were in before. You have to start a brand new relationship. Now, if you were dating, would you get married in one year? Probably not, right? You don't know this person yet. You don't trust this person yet. So you can't just go back to the way it was before because the way it was before somehow led you here, right?

So you have to build up time in this new place where you're communicating differently or more honestly, or doing something, that old relationship has to be gone. It's dead, right? Yeah, because it didn't work. Right. Yeah.

And I think that, you know, even without the betrayals, there's a lot of that. I remember I saw Esther Perel speak and she talked about she's been married for, I don't know, like 30, 40 years, some long amount of time. I don't remember the amount of time. And she was like, I've been in like seven different relationships with the same partner. over that period of time. And it's like, I think that this is kind of what she's referring to. Even if there wasn't a betrayal,

let's say there's just like you change as a person. Or you go through, you know, your own like metamorphosis. You don't have the same person you are when you meet someone, especially when you meet them young. And then you kind of have to re-decide, do I want to be with this new person who's a different person than the person I met? 100%. So all that to say, I think, you know, one, the, what you're feeling, this insecurity about whether or not she's ever going to move on or she's ever going to fully trust you.

That's mimicking what she's feeling. So that's great because you can kind of understand what she's feeling like, you know, not being able to trust you. You can't trust if she's going to move on. So you can both relate on that. And two, like a year isn't enough in this new marriage to know how it's going to play out and whether or not she's really going to ever fully get there. You don't know yet. I do think that this is going to be a matter of looking at it as like you're, I mean, it's not going to be quite as fun as first dating, unfortunately, but looking at it as like we're first dating and we're first

learning to know who each other are. And you are a new. person here. So the key for you is that you have to keep doing the work where you're being this different person that's more vulnerable, that's more open, that's communicating more fully about all of the intricacies of your heart and mind to her that are going to make her feel safer that you're not going to be having this private internal world that she doesn't know about. And that's going to build the trust, but that is going to take time. And in the meantime, there are going to be moments where she's closed and seems distant and there's nothing that you can do about it. And you're going to have to ride, I mean, not nothing you can do about it. I'm sure you can open and share and talk and

ask and own and apologize. And, you know, I think you're in, I hope you're in couples therapy. because how you handle those moments are important. And I think sometimes people get in this place where they're like, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Tough shit. Right. That's the kind of the part. That's the part that you sort of have to agree to when you have done something like this.

Yeah. Like I'm not saying you have to talk about it every day, but you have to. More than you would like. Yes. You have to get to the point where you have to realize this is a different marriage. and you're never going to not have to talk about this ever again. Like you have now a wound that's in your relationship and it's going to be there forever. And this is the hardest part for the for the unfaithful partner, however you want to call it.

You're going to have to tolerate that that stickly prickly shame that you have to feel when your partner's triggered by this. and you're going to have to hold that and handle that and go in anyway when you don't want to. It's going to there's going to be that tinge. You're going to want to close up and not do it. And you're going to have to do it anyway. And you're going to have to do that. It's almost like now your relationship has like diabetes.

And every so often you're going to have to be like, oh, shit, my, our insulin's low. I need to, right, fill this up. We need the injection. And it sucks. I don't feel like poking myself right now. It hurts. I don't want to. I feel shameful. I feel badly. I did this to our relationship. The last thing I want to do, we were on our way to the zoo with the kids. And like, I wasn't planning on talking about my affair and my betrayal and my gambling away a bunch of money. I wasn't in the mood to talk about this right now. But I'm going to put my big boy pants on and I'm going to do it. And that's marriage number two.

Yes. That's part of marriage. It wasn't part of marriage number one, but now it's part of marriage number two. And unfortunately, and it's okay, you can do it. But when you're unwilling to do it and you get defensive and oh my God, are we really talking about this again? We just, I thought we were moving on. I thought we were over this.

Am I going to be in the doghouse forever? No, you're not. You just have to talk about it. it every so often you have to give her her insulin injection which is ownership acknowledgement apology softness softness not harsh defensiveness those are the things that she's going to need and now marriage number two that's part of what she's going to need well maybe that wasn't the answer you were looking for but start some couples therapy if you haven't already yeah and that will that will help give her a designated space to also like air out that stuff weekly.

So maybe it comes out differently than it would without that person on like a regular basis to be there. And yes, I'm glad you mentioned that. That is like as far as couples therapy goes, sometimes that is one of the greatest things about couple. Yes, a great couples therapist is great and they'll really help you. But sometimes one of the greatest things about couples therapy is like, we're not that good at talking about this on our own. So we're going to shelf everything. And we're going to, we know we have this space once a week to talk about it.

So we don't have to talk about it all week because we know every single week we have this container. Right. Which is guided by a professional in this space. I love couples therapy. I just like, I mean, obviously, you know, I had like your parents as like pseudo, couples. Test subjects. I had my own test subject. I had my own parents. Like I had all the. A lot of dysfunctional relationships to get. Yes. I've had lots of personal practice and professional practice. So I really, and I use like somatic methods, like helping, you know, just kind of calm

the nervous system. But in session as we speak, like this is my wheelhouse. So find a good couples therapist. It really helps. And like you said, even if it's just for the space of like once a week, we know we have this space, especially if you're busy parents with young kids, you know, you can be like, all right, we can't squeeze these conversations in in between bedtime and bath and work and whatever. We know we know we have our time. Well, let us know how that goes. Give us an update six to 12 months from now.

Let's do what bedges is. Do you want to read this one? Hey, Naomi and Jordana. Love the pod so much and couldn't help but write in about something that's been bothering me lately. I 28 female engaged to my partner of seven years, the most wonderful man who I could not be more excited to marry. Like any couple, we've had our small challenges, but it has undoubtedly been the easiest, most fun, and most communicative relationship I've ever been in. There's one small problem, though. My fiancé is an absolutely horrible dancer. He has less rhythm than I knew was even possible, and his dance floor moves consist entirely of either flailing his arms in the the air to no particular beat or fist pumping while jumping as high as he possibly can. It is as if upon hitting the dance floor, he morphs into an overstimulated seven-year-old girl with no social cues.

She really paints a picture. I know. I'm seeing it. At weddings and other events, I find myself getting extremely embarrassed by this. At the last wedding we attended, I noticed my friends and their partners subtly mocking his dance moves. One friend got a bit drunk and accidentally said, are you sure X doesn't play for the other team? I was mortified. On nights when dancing is involved,

I find myself losing my usual attraction to him. The anxiety I feel may be related to the fact that my fiance presents as somewhat more feminine than most other men. And while our day-to-day attraction is amazing, 95% of the time, these dancing moments bring out that insecurity. My brain knows that this is not a serious issue for an otherwise perfect relationship. And I constantly try to remember mind myself that I would rather be with someone who loves having fun than someone who would prefer to play it cool or sit alone in the corner. My fiancé's confidence in himself and ability to not care what others think is also one of the things I admire most about him. Still, on these nights, I can never seem to shake the ick. My current anxiety stems from the fact that our own wedding is soon approaching.

A temporary simmer of the flame at someone else's event is one thing, but on our own wedding that I want to feel holy and completely attracted to him like I do in daily life. I'm so worried the cringy dancing will start and I'll get that same feeling of embarrassment and turned offness in my stomach. How can I deal with this beforehand so that our connection is maintained on our wedding night? Is this something I can talk to him about or do I just need to grow up and get over it? Can I ask him to meet me halfway by toning down the arm flailing? Or do I have no right to suffocate his positive energy?

on our wedding night. Thanks as always for your impeccable advice, a side stepping betch. I like to see mail. We've talked about, we've talked about ick, but we'd never really talked about ick like after you're already married or engaged. Yeah. One thing she doesn't mention is like what he, like, has she ever said anything to him about it? Does he make fun of himself? Or is he true? I think there's like, this is like, to me, varies based on how he sees his own dancing. If he's like, I'm a terrible dancer, but you know what? I had a few drinks. I'm having fun.

Like, that's part of my thing. Like, I'm kind of a terrible dancer who also dances when, you know, they're at a wedding or drinking. And I don't really, I don't care. I don't really think of it as like, I'm trying to impress anyone. But it's kind of like, do you think, does he, is he a bad dancer who thinks he's a good dancer? Because to me, that's a different story than a bad dancer who's kind of just like, I'm having fun. I don't really care what it looks like. Somehow it does feel ickier if he thinks he's good.

Or not making fun of himself or something. Like Mike will make fun of my dance moves. So well, so will all of my friends. And like, I'm, maybe it's different because I'm a woman. But.

Right. I think if I thought I was like really sexy on the dance floor, I think that would be a different story. Yeah. I find almost that is like I could see that being icky to like a woman who's like trying to be sexy and it's like not like I could see like the the idea that you're saying is like if you're self-aware it makes it a little bit better so yeah long story short um maybe just kind of see if you could joke with him about it if you haven't already and like you know even if you

were like let's find the beat let's find the beat like see if you can almost like turn it into a little dance lesson. Like I think if he could just find the beat. Or he embraces it as like, this is kind of like, yeah, I know people like think it's ridiculous. Like I'm like, I'm like a horrible dancer. And to me, if he said that, that would almost let the air out of the room. And then to all my friends, I could be like, you've got to see his dance moves. Like this is like, he just cannot be stopped. Right. If you turn it into a big joke. You have to be in on the joke. You have to be in on the joke for it to be like fun because now it's like this she's made it into this like weird shameful like effeminate if he was like this super masculine guy that then just like it was this big joke that he's just this terrible dancer

i don't think it would be bothering her that much but because he's already i think because she has this private thought in her own mind that she hasn't shared with him that she thinks he's slightly little bit more effeminate, which doesn't seem to bother her, that part. What bothers her is that there's like this little effeminate thing, and then, which she hasn't shared. And then now on the dance floor, it's like exacerbated. Now this maybe tiny little insecurity turns into this whole thing. I think she needs to come out with it as like, you know, you're a pretty terrible dancer or

just like kind of coming out with it. Like those moves are pretty bad. Like, right. I'm surprised she, this hasn't come up. They've been together seven years that she's ever been like, what's up with those dance moves? Or like, come on. Let's, we can do it. Let's find the beat. Something like that where she's like just pointing at. Like I think if you, honestly, the moves don't sound that bad. Jumping as high as you can with your fist in the air. That's like a dude dance move. right? That's like just if he could just do it to the beat, that's not a terrible move. For me, I would almost be like, I don't even need you to do this to the beat. I just need you to almost like, own it. And be, and you, you like state your awareness of like this wacky part of

yourself. Yeah. Yes. And then I can make fun of you and you're in on the joke. And my friends can make fun of you and you're in on the joke. I think that's the whole thing that's like, Like an insecurity gets exacerbated when you feel like everyone is talking about it behind her. Because she doesn't even say anything about what he thinks of those moves or what. She's talking about what everyone else thinks. And she's worried about what everyone else thinks. She's almost protective of him in that way. In a public display of his masculinity in this way, it's not a good look to her.

And it like brings, highlights this little. And you've said this before. Like an ick is sort of something that traditionally for women is something that, emasculates men or like is that men do that is emasculating. Yeah, I agree with you. I think you need to do it. I would address it. I hope between now and the wedding, you have another like dancing moment. Or even if you watch like a video. Let's do a dance class. You could say that. Or even like one of those exercise like dance classes where it's more like dance, not like do do do do do you know like a real like a hip hop dance class. or like a, you know, like a dance 360 or whatever that, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. It's like a first dance dance class, but like a dance class where you're dancing to like pop music dance class. And if you're marrying this person, you should be able to like have it all out. But I do think the deeper issue is this, that he's more effeminate than most men. And that's kind of the elephant in the room. And it just comes out in this dancing. And so that's why it hasn't been made a joke of. Hasn't been made a joke of because that's the nerve that it's touching that she doesn't

want to touch because she probably doesn't want to offend him because to her it symbolizes this nerve. I would find a way to make a joke out of it, do a dance class or watch a video of a wedding and be like, eh, those dance moves. Like, I don't know, you know, bring it up in some way and see it. if he will acknowledge that he's not the best dancer. And then I think this will all feel a lot better if you're just like, yeah, it's just, you know, it's just Jason being wacky on the dance floor.

Right. That's his thing. That's his thing. I think everyone will feel better because I've seen everyone knows that guy. Yeah. They're fun. It's one of those guys at every wedding. And I agree.

It's better than having him be like too cool for school. Like he's not. Totally. You know, he's like. afraid to, I think the more of almost the more effeminate man is the man who is afraid to look effeminate. Yes. He's like not doing what he wants to do because he's like wants to present as some hypermasculine guy. Totally. I love this guy. He's the life of the party. You know, the boy wants to boogie. Let him boogie. Yes. The 2026 Chevrolet tracks is the stylish SUV for those on the move. And with

the standard Chevy safety assist package, you have the backup to handle every turn with confidence. The 26 tracks. Start your build at Chevrolet.ca. Let's get into our intentions. Hi, Jordana and Dr. Naomi. Our wedding was beautiful, incredibly fun and honestly everything I could have hoped for except for one hiccup that I cannot stop thinking about. We had a child free wedding and made that very clear on our website and RSVP page. An old family friend, let's call him Ben, showed up with his two children. I didn't notice them myself, but while my maid of honor was bustling my dress, she told me the kids were there and mentioned she had left her own children behind in another state and was upset knowing she could have brought them. Another bridesmaid who had also traveled from out of state was pumping and expressed that

she wished she could have brought her baby too. I was already overwhelmed with the million things happening that day. Then before I'd even walked into the venue, I ran into my husband's family who had also traveled from out of state. They mentioned that they had intentionally left their children home because it was a child free wedding, but it had seen other kids there. At that point, I felt like I was letting everyone down, including my new in-laws. I asked our event coordinator if she could speak to Ben and handle it discreetly without making it seem like the request came from me. Unfortunately, the coordinator was pretty passive and ended up having one of my bridesmaids accompany her to speak with Ben and his wife. They left without a fight, but Ben's parents,

who were longtime friends of my parents, left as well. That was absolutely not what I wanted. I love this family. They've always felt like family to me. And Ben was incredibly supportive of my family when my brother passed away. Looking back, I hate how I handled the situation. I wish I had simply let it go and let them stay. My family is extremely upset with me and my mom and sisters sent me a long message saying that I ruined a lifelong friendship, that this is irreparable and that I ruined their time at my wedding and that my sister wanted to leave the entire night. I reached out to Ben and his family, profusely apologized, explained what happened, and even sent their wedding gift back via Venmo because it didn't feel right

to keep it after they missed the reception. They actually returned the money and told me they love me and are sorry about how everything happened, they apologized for causing me stress and stated they missed the child free request on the website. They did say they wish they had been asked to leave during cocktail hour rather than after everyone entered the reception, which honestly broke my heart even more. My husband thinks that while I should have let it slide, Ben was also wrong for disregarding what was clearly stated on our wedding website. He also thinks no one should have approached me about it on my wedding day because I probably would have never noticed the kids myself. But now I'm stuck. I can't seem to forgive myself. My family is

made me feel like I ruined something much bigger than one awkward wedding day moment. And now I'm struggling to even think about my beautiful wedding without this overshadowing it. I just can't let this go. And it's been the main thick on my mind for the past two days. And I can't stop crying over it and feeling like a horrible bitch. So oversharing ladies, can you give me an intention? How do I let this go? How do I forgive myself for making a decision under stress that I regret?

Especially when I feel like I hurt people I genuinely love. I don't want this one moment to become the thing I remember most about the day I married my best friend, sincerely a happy wife who is trying very hard to forgive herself. I could totally see how this played out like this. This is really stressful. I feel like so many people put her in this position. That's really unfair. So many people like Ben and his and his wife and kids put her in this position,

but also all of the people who made comments to her on her wedding day about this also put her into this position. Yeah. And I get it. Like I get hindsight. This is this is actually a perfect example of like in the moment on your wedding day. You're like getting your dress bustled to get ready to go like to this reception that you've spent months and months and months planning. Thousands and thousands of dollars.

Yeah. Yeah. So much money. And then you're feeling so up like guilted by people that are your closest people of the world that you feel like you've upset them. I could see why you'd feel like, okay, I've got to like make this right and get rid of this problem, right, in the moment. And then hindsight 2020, like, what's done is done, let them stay, you know, like. Right, they're already there. They're already there.

I'm sorry that your kids weren't here. That wasn't my intention to, you know, kind of have this turn out this way, but they're here. I love them. They're not going to. Nobody cares really about like. two kids at their wedding. They care about like 20 kids at their wedding. Like they don't want it turning into a kids party, but nobody cares about like she wouldn't really have cared about two kids at the wedding. So, and it's her wedding. Right. It's not her fault that that he showed up with

the kids. Yes. Yes. So I this is a perfect example of like in the moment she made a decision that like, especially with all that pressure, probably wasn't the best choice, wasn't like super thought out because she was under pressure and then, you know, felt really badly. And now it sounds like Ben and his family forgive her from what she said. Like they don't sound like they're holding a grudge. It's her family. Which is annoying too. Yeah. I think her, her mom and her sister. I mean, I feel bad for her that like this is the way that they're treating her because it's also like she apologized to him directly. And he said, I love you. I'm sorry. it turned out this way.

He sounds like he's fine. They insisted on giving the gift. And, you know, I'm sure that it's not amazing. And this is only like two days after the wedding. So like time heals all most wounds or whatever you want to say. But like this is very fresh. So it sounds like the conversation maybe more needs to be had with her mom and her sister where you kind of can address with them. Like Ben's okay with.

this, like, I've done everything I can. I've apologized. Yes, if I hindsight, if I could go back and do it again, I definitely would have made a different choice. I was under a lot of pressure. I had three different people approaching me, which is also annoying. If you're ever in the situation where it's a child free wedding and you see a couple of kids, like, don't be that person. For whatever reason, either there was an oversight or there was an extenuating circumstances. This isn't like, HR, you know, where you're like, excuse me, excuse me. You say, If you want to say something, say it to them after the wedding. After the wedding.

If you really feel like you must say. And I would only say if there were like 30 kids and I was told it was a child free wedding, maybe I would say that. If I saw two kids, I would assume a situation exactly like this where someone didn't get the memo. Child care fell through or someone was, you know, whatever you want to assume. There was some weird problem that happened that was beyond. Yeah.

And I'd be annoyed at my friends for telling me, for like, gilting me on that day. It's like if you're upset with me about the policy, let's discuss it tomorrow. Not like while you're bustling my dress. I find that really annoying. Right. I would have said to them, oh, it was a child free wedding. I didn't know they would be here. That's it.

Yeah. And again, she probably wishes that that's what she would have done. But I can totally understand when you're being pressured by three different people. And she does seem like the type of person, which is why I really feel for her because she seems like the type of person that is approachable enough that all of these people, three separate people felt comfortable enough on her wedding day to approach her with this. Like she doesn't seem like the Bridezilla type or like a bitch at all, which is why I feel

extra bad for you because you seem like a really sweet person that everybody felt really comfortable on your wedding day to come to you with this. Right. To annoy you with this. They wouldn't have done that. they would have been like stay away from her. Do not upset the bride. Do not bring up anything.

So you seem like a sweet person that everyone felt this way. With maybe some overbearing friends. I can't have as a bridesmaid if someone was like to me, could you go tell the bride's family friend that they have to leave because they brought their kids. I would be like, I'm not fucking going anywhere near that. Like what was this bridesmaid who was like,

I'll go with the reception with the planner and like tell them that like sounds like she is like a passive person amongst very aggressive people. And they also are the ones. They're not entirely not at fault either. The invitation did say no children at the wedding. So like she did not do anything wrong. Maybe she would have made a different decision later. But it was like I could totally understand trying like being very hard on yourself. Yes. And I this does bring up I think you know, this has come up in my groups. This has come up for me personally. This idea of, of apologizing and then having to kind of sit in the meantime with that in between period of when you apologize and not knowing how that apology is really received by people or if someone's

not ready to receive your apology. Sometimes there's an uncomfortable period where you have to just let that apology sit and simmer. And you cannot. There's only a certain number of times you can apologize. You apologize profusely. And I know that that happens, like I said, in my groups or with my patience, that comes up where you do something, you feel regretful for it. You apologize. And maybe that person isn't ready to accept that apology.

And part of the work of apologizing and part of the work of like growth as a person who can be resilient and tolerate emotions is like, okay, I have to sit in the discomfort of, you know, my own feelings while I wait for this person to come around. And it sounds like Ben has come around. Maybe your parents or your mom and your sister haven't come around. And maybe the apology doesn't instantaneously take everything away. Even coming back to the first email with the guy with the infidelity and whatever. This is a much smaller scale than that in discretion. Yes, much, much, much, much, much, much smaller scale.

But I think there is a, you know, kind of this idea of like sometimes when you apologize for something, there is a little period where you have to tolerate your own discomfort while the other people who may have been affected by it come around to it in their own time. And it's only been two days. So maybe your mom and your sister need a little bit of time to come around. I do think you probably, I can feel like maybe you're a bit of a people pleaser just based on the little, you know, details of this event that everyone was so quickly able to come to you and tell you what to do and take over for you. And your mom and sister are still, you know, so angry with you about this, even though you have.

already apologized. So take a breath. You've done all that you can and you're going to have to tolerate a little bit that they're going to come around in their own time. There's nothing you can do to control any further what's happened. And maybe you do want to talk to them and say, I've apologized to Ben and his family. There's not much more that I can really do about this. If you guys need your space and your time to kind of, you know, accept. what's happened. I can give you that. This is your feelings or your feelings.

But I've done my part. Sometimes that is like phase two of an apology. One is the apology and two is the sitting and the discomfort that someone might not be able to give you everything you want to emotionally relieve you after the apology. I think that is something that we don't always anticipate. So what's your intention? My intention for you is I trust I've done my part. I can tolerate discomfort while others take the time they need without letting it define who I am.

You are still a good person. They can take the time they need, meaning really mostly your mom and your sister. And you can tolerate this little discomfort that you have while they take their time. Yes. But your work here is done. Yes. You've done your part. Let's do some triggers. You want to read our first one? Dear Jordana and Dr. Naomi, I'm writing with

a trigger that has me questioning a friendship. A close friend is traveling with a service dog. She's not the dog owner, but frequently dog sits the dog. My friend told me explicitly that the dog is not trained to perform any special tasks. In fact, I've witnessed this dog behave badly on multiple occasions. The pet owner did not want the dog flying cargo and paid for the dog to be registered as a service animal based on false claims related to a recent injury my friend experienced. How triggered am I allowed to be? I acknowledge it does not directly affect me. Not my service monkey, not my circus, but I find it morally questionable and have lost respect for my typically rule following friend, a bark-wildered betch. First of all, it's not even the friends, it's her boss's

decision, right? Her boss is like, I don't want the dog flying in cargo. I'm going to create a thing that says, he's like, the service animal, is it morally questionable? Sure. If I were the friend and my boss wanted me to do this, would I say anything? No. Like, I think it's kind of like on the airline to create the standards that are strict enough that people can't get past this. This isn't really like on your friend to decide what's acceptable and what's not in the situation. Right. I also think it makes me, this makes me think about when I went to college for the first time and there were like these dorm, there were certain, I went to college upstate New York.

And so it was like not, it was not super hot most of the time. But there were certain dorms that had air conditioning and certain dorms that were older that did not. And I remember after getting there, I found out like a few of my friends. or people I was friendly with had like all had this doctor write up a note about the reason that they needed to be in an air-conditioned room to make sure that they got into these air-conditioned rooms. And like that is so far from like anything that our mom would like tried to figure out to do for me. And I remember thinking like, this is kind of unfair, but also like it is what it is.

Like there's really, I didn't judge them morally for taking the air-conditioned room. I think it's a personal decision. We get a lot of these triggers where it's like, can I be friends with someone who has a different moral code than me? Right. Like it almost feels like if you are willing to lie on a document or you're willing to lie, what does does that define your character? And can we still be friends if you have a different? moral code. And I think this does come up. I mean, aside from her and this triggered thing,

like, I almost feel like that's a personal choice. You know, like, can you be friends with people that do things like a lie about an air conditioner, lie about a dog? Where do you draw the line, right? Like, can you be friends with someone that cheats on their boyfriend? Can you be friends with some of the cheats on their husband. Can you be friends with someone that cheated on a test in school? Yes, exactly. So like, it's kind of like there's, where do you draw the line on which moral issues are big enough to say we can't be friends anymore? I mean, does this seem like one that you would, you would create a friendship issue for? Personally, personally, I would not. Personally, like, if you wanted to say you had a service dog you did, we had the tax issue. We had the tax issue.

one where someone was like, oh, yeah, they're writing off things that are not really tax deductible because they're business owners. Right. So that might be something where someone's like, oh, you're lying on a, on a, you know, federal document. That feels like a really big deal. Like, I don't know if I can trust that. Or then maybe you jolt a light, like you are talking really badly about a mutual friend behind their back. And then we go to a party and you're hugging them and you are like. acting so cool around them.

Like, that feels kind of like, can I be friends with you when you do so? There's so many of these. Well, to me, I guess for my own moral code, would it be like, are you actually causing harm to anyone? Is there like a disregard of something that would actually, it's actually going to negatively affect someone. Right. To me, that's from my.

Yeah. So someone getting hurt. Or in this case, like, the passengers around you being subjected to your dog. who might not be on his best behavior, like, because he's not a real service dog. Is that a, is that, is that, create victims in a stretched way, I guess. Right. If you create an imaginary scenario with a dog bites its way out of the thing and, you know. Right.

Yes. But like someone's cheating on their spouse. Are you hurting someone? Yes. I would say. Are you stealing from, if you're stealing from someone, are you hurting? them directly. Yes. To me, it's like, it's my own personal moral code. It's like, who are, like, what are the victims in this thing? And what are the, like, with the air conditioner thing, I don't think

the victim, I guess, is someone who might have gotten randomly put in that dorm that is now not randomly put in that dorm. Yes. So yes, there is a, there is a victim. I don't consider it to be as, as direct, the directness of the victim. the victimhood. Like you're cheating on your spouse. That's a direct victimhood. You steal $20 from your mom's wallet. That's a direct victim. This isn't even her call. It's like she's just doing what she's told her on his work. Yes. Yeah. Now, I agree. I would probably say this is not that triggering. But she said she's usually a rule follower. So I think there's almost like, I thought you were one way. and now I'm realizing you're a different way.

And we were both kind of rule followers. And now I'm realizing you're not. If she wants to talk about the friend, I would make it more open-ended. I'd be like, how do you feel about like this fake note? Right. That like, how do you feel about having to do this? I would make it more just like curious because you said you think she's a rural follower.

You think she's like, maybe like hear her explanation about it. I think you probably will feel better if you just open up a dialogue about it and just hear her talk about it and she might be like, ugh, you know, it wasn't, I didn't feel great about it, but like here are the reasons why I felt like it was the right thing to do or I didn't think it was that big of a deal and maybe that'll make you feel better. Or maybe kind of like we said in here with friendships, nobody's going to be perfect, but like noted, right? Like I'm just aware that this person is not a rule follower. Yeah, and she might get caught. Like, the dog misbehaves enough. There might be, like, it's kind of, I'm kind of like, it's also, it's kind of on the airline to, like,

properly create the standards for which a service animal will be allowed. And then if a doctor wrote a note that it's a service as whoever it's on the doctor, then it's on that person. It's not really on your friend. Yeah, it's true. Someone's, someone's lying here. Someone's lying. And like, if it's, if the airline creates a situation where like the customer can just lie on the form. That's why a lot of these forms are in the responsibility of the vet or whomever it's going to be where they have a license to uphold. So that's why they create it that way because the vet isn't going to lie because they're protecting their license.

So yeah, I agree. There are standards that create systems where lying has consequences, which really doesn't have to be your problem. I would give this a two. Yeah. Maybe a three if it was actually her dog, but it's not even her dog. Yeah, I agree. But interesting to see like what moral violations are friendship ending. And I think it is a personal decision. It's up to you. If you feel like a lie is a lie and it bothers you that your friend is capable of lying, then, you know, but yeah, I agree. Yes. All right. Let's do one more. Hi, Dr. Naomi. Andrew Dina today was my first day back from maternity leave. I have a high power job. And when I left,

I was managing 95% plus of my company's revenue and was poised to become head of my department. I spent years working up to this point. But today, in my catch-up call with my boss, I learned I'm basically being demoted. Rather than giving me my job back, the men I trained and encouraged will be taking my job. I'll be supporting them and doing associate-level work I previously delegated for more leadership tasks. I was vice president for reference. There's no title or pay change, so I don't think there's any legal action I can take. I'm enraged, heartbroken, and beyond disappointed. I feel like the years I spent working to get to this point were for nothing.

I was so blindsided that I didn't know how to respond in the moment or get clear reasoning, but pretty sure they think it's just easier to leave things as is, rather than make changes for my return. Worth noting it's definitely not performance-related. I've always excelled in my role, literally bringing in millions to the company just for them to stab me in the back. I really like my job, so it sucks to have to give it up and job hunt. I do think things have a way of working out, so I'm sure I'll land on my feet somewhere. Still, how triggered would you be signed a backstabbed new mom betch? Nine, this is bad.

And they're being sneaky about it because they're not changing her title and they're not changing her pay. So they're making it seem like they're not like so she can't take any legal action. I had some questions about this. before like, yes. Before we jump to a nine. Okay. If it's, I feel like she is jumping, she is jumping to a nine, you were jumping to a nine. I'm kind of like, let's take a deep breath. It is her first day back, right? So they've been doing things. So I don't know how long her maternity leap was. Maybe it was four or five months, whatever. They, they put a different system in place while she was gone,

right? So perhaps this is just a temporary transitional way that they're doing things until she gets back into the swing of how they're doing things. She's taking it as they've stabbed me in the back, them demoted, I'm answering to the people that I put it. Like, there, I think maybe the people you trained are just like more versed in the way that they've been running the system while you left. And perhaps just in transition, you're going to like figure out how things run by working with them.

So maybe give it time and see if you get back to your prior. responsibilities. And she said she was so, like, triggered that she didn't even really, like, get into, like, the weeds or the clarity of it. I would, now that you've had a minute to, like, think about it, it's clearly very upsetting to you. I would make another call with your boss and just say, like, hey, after that meeting, I felt like a little uncomfortable. It's almost, it almost felt like I was being demoted or something. Like, could we, like, kind of, is this like a, is this a plan to kind of transition me back from maternity leave? or is this a plan for like how things are going to operate from now on?

Because it kind of feels like I've been demoted when I'm, you know, this job means so much to me and I've worked so hard on this job. And it was kind of jarring to come back and hear that I'm like reporting to people that I've been training before. Right. That might not have been their intention like at all. Like it does feel like she was extremely triggered by this and like perhaps it's like a little blinded.

I'm not saying that's that she's wrong or that this isn't the case or she is being, but they haven't changed the title. they haven't changed the pay. It sounds like it might be like something that they just communicated poorly. Like they might have, it might have been like, this is just for now. I see your point that she might need a couple of weeks to kind of get caught up. And then she can take back her seat at the head of the table.

So I see your point. But I can also, and she probably has some insecurity as I know that a lot of women, especially when you're in, like, you've worked your way up to a very high power. She's a VP position when they take maternity leave, have this fear of, like, being dropped down as a result. So she probably already has this insecurity, probably the anticipation I can only imagine of ending her maternity leave coming back in and then not immediately feeling like, okay, the VP's back, everybody scamper back to your offices, she's got it and that that wasn't the tone that she got probably could have made her feel like your worst fears have come true and you're being demoted when really maybe they didn't phrase it in a way that like,

we're creating like a two week transition period where everyone's going to kind of fill you in for a couple of weeks and then you can. So yeah, you're right. where you're learning to get, you know, you're learning basically like how thing, like, again, getting caught up, figuring out how we, some things might have changed while you were gone. Totally. And interesting that I probably was protective of her in the same way that she was protective of herself of like, no, no, no, like you are not going to, you know, fuck with this VP and take her job away because she went on maternity leave. Like, you know, probably this very reactive, self-protective, fearful, you know, like don't mess with me just because I had a baby kind of feeling.

She probably went into it like that too. So I totally agree. Set up a meeting and be like, this is the feeling that I got. I'm hoping that's not the case. And I'm saying, and I'm saying it's impossible that this is what's happening. Like it's possible. But just to me, I could see how she might be a little on edge, a little like, again, already has this insecurity. something about her, like working with someone who was under her or doing something that was seemingly under what she was used to be doing and just kind of having a panic attack. I need to find another job. I need to leave here.

No one respects me. Blah, blah, blah. Like, I would take a second, ask for another call. She said she didn't even ask, she didn't even get the clear reasoning or responding or getting clarity. I think she can come back when she feels calm and just ask for some. clarity and express her feelings of like a fear that since she's been gone, other that she's been replaced or something.

Because I think that's something that you can easily discuss with your boss. And if she's right, if he's like, yeah, we did promote them and now we don't have your role anymore, that's a different story. No, I agree. Again, this is very fresh. And I think definitely warrants, if anything, more than one conversation. And I, and I could see, you know, from the. businesses perspective that there needs to be a transition period when you're coming back after

you know any extended period of time away where people have been doing your job they're going to need a period where they're catching you up and yes you are going to have to ask them questions and yes they are going to have to fill you in and you are going to need a period of time where you're going to have to you know refer to them for some questions for a little while And that's okay, as long as the plan is with a discrete period of time where they tell you approximately how long it's going to take for you to get back to your role and that they are going to be your direct reports and however that's going to, you know, who's reporting to you and what the hierarchy is going to be after what period of time. So I think you just need some clarity

on that. And to be honest, maybe nobody's thought that through. So it could just be disorganized and they don't really have, nobody's really developed the plan. So maybe you might need to be the one that goes back to them and says, hey, I've developed a plan for how we're going to transition this back. If you're the VP, you know, to kind of be like, okay, this is kind of the vibe that I'm getting. I don't know how your company works, but I do think sometimes if nobody's making a plan for the transition, then maybe you need to be the one that comes up with the plan for the transition and presenting it.

Because she seems very confident that she's very good at her job. So I think that like this could all be potentially just a miscommunication. Please, I am going to be waiting for the update on this. Yes. And if you are being demoted, I agree. Nine. If you, if this is a miscommunication, I could see maybe it hasn't been handled delicately enough.

I'd still give it like a five. If that was the, if you left that meeting with the impression that long term, you're now reporting to someone who was under you as soon as you get back from maternity leave, I would give that, even if it's not actually the case, I would still say that would be like a six. I would agree with that. Let us know and we will revise our triggered score accordingly. But yeah, I hope that's not the case. And maybe they just were communicating poorly and didn't really have a good plan in place for how this was going to go. So you tell them how it's going to go. Yes. Don't look for jobs just yet. Just take a minute. Take a, take a, take a, take a, take a, take a, take a,

take a week, like absorb what's going on. Yeah, no, I agree. I like your take patience. And sometimes when like kind of confirmation bias, right? Like if you're afraid of this particular thing, then you go in and you're like so prepared for this fear that you're like clinging to the reality of something before it's actually happens. Right.

Like we said, like triggers are insecurities. And so this was, she's coming in with this. this already this insecurity that this might happen. And then whatever verbiage was used clearly confirmed that. All right. I think we, I think we did it. I think we help some people. Please give us updates. Thank you for these awesome. Really, I am always astonished at like these interesting emails and you guys, your vulnerability and sharing with us and putting this out there so that we can help other people in relatable situations. So I do, I cannot thank the people who write in here enough.

We obviously can't do this without you. So thank you so much. And yeah, that's our time. Great work today. is on the brink of civil war on September 18th. Mobland. The hit original series is back on Paramount Plus. We are the hurricanes.

Don't know the net? And Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder? I won't comment dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosden and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want to want!

A planned. New season hits September 18th on Paramount Plus. Betches