Pod Save America - What A Year! (LIVE from LA)

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Our first-ever holiday spectacular brings together everyone in the Crooked Media family to look back at the good, bad and absurd of 2021, with comedy, games and music.For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

We only have 100 days left until the 2022 midterms, and we need to make every one count. We know how high the stakes are in these midterms. Abortion is on the ballot. Climate is on the ballot. Our basic freedoms and ability to make our voices heard to protect them are on the ballot. Head to votesaveamerica.com slash midterms to take our Count Me In pledge to volunteer the weekend of July 31st and become part of our midterm madness program to get involved in the most important elections in 2022 from the Senate to your local school board. Hey, everybody. This week we have something special for you. Earlier this month, everyone in the Crooked family gathered on stage in Los Angeles

to present our first ever holiday spectacular called What a Year, where we raised money for our No Off Years Fund, which sends money to organizers in battleground states to register new voters. We're going to play part of that show here. What a Year is a funny look back on everything that happened in 2021 with comedy, games, good and bad takes, and some music at the end. And if while you're listening, you decide you'd like to donate, go to crooked.com slash no off years. Here's the show. Hello, Los Angeles. It's wonderful to be with you. We might be trapped in a blizzard and we might have to eat each other's frozen corpses to survive. But if by luck we do make it out of this icy tundra, we want to make sure that on the other side of that snowbank is still a democracy.

So tonight we're going to be raising money for no off years. Our fund to register voters in the battleground states where those new voters will make all the difference in 2022 and beyond. At the end of the night, we'll be announcing how much money we've raised together. So as we look back on 2021, we're also looking ahead and hoping you'll do the same. So please donate what you can to help us support organizations that are on the ground doing the work we need to be doing all year long. Also, before we get to our show, we want to thank our incredibly kind presenting sponsor of What A Year, Imperfect Foods, and Bev, which graciously supplied us with a fair amount of wine. Thank you for doing that. Very nice of you.

Are you ready for some reindeer games? Let's get into it. What a year. Some years you ease into. Like a warm bath or a prestige television show in the mid-2000s where a friend says, stick with it. It really picks up. Not 2021. 2021 is more like Squid Game. We're a few minutes in and it's like, holy fuck,

anything can happen this year. All bets are off. People are just getting back from the holidays. And what's that on CNN? Mitt Romney is running for his life from the Capitol Rotunda trying to evade a murderous group of baby boomers who met on Facebook. 2021, let's go. a murderous group of baby boomers who met on Facebook? 2021, let's go. On January 6th, goaded by the president and his fellow right-wing authoritarians, Trump supporters stormed the Capitol in an attempt to stop the certification

of Joe Biden's victory. It was the day we came terrifyingly close to America's worst-case scenario, losing Mike Pence. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West split up after seven years of marriage, but you know what they say, when God closes

a door, he opens a Pete Davidson. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. Also this year, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh died and i learned and i learned that costco won't print you a cake for that meanwhile in vaccine hesitancy news while defending a reluctance to get the covid19

vaccine nikki minaj tweeted about her cousin's friend's experience of swollen testicles so severe he was rendered impotent, compelling his fiance to call off their wedding. The swelling has continued. As of this recording, the testicles have destroyed several homes and part of a shopping center. 2021 was also the year billionaires slipped the surly bonds of Earth in their cute little penis-shaped rocket ships.

Jeff Bezos, for example, stepped down as the CEO of Amazon to fulfill his lifelong dream of killing Michael Strahan in outer space. 2020 was like being trapped in your car by Cujo. And he's growling and he's snarling and he's getting drool and breath over the windows. 2021 is like, we managed to get Cujo into a little fenced-in area. We tricked him, you know, with guile and cunning and daring do.

But then every day, we get another report about how the fence wasn't built properly and about how some people want to tear down the fence, that they think a world with Cujo roaming free is better than one wherever and is safe. And we get up every day and we just walk by Cujo as he barks and claws at the creaking fence post, pushing his evil little face further and further

between the bars. So what do you do? Let him tear down the fence because some people are too stupid or mean to care? Do you listen to the people who say we shouldn't even discuss it, embrace the cynicism that treats us all like a game, like the last time Cujo got free there wasn't blood in the streets? I don't think so. And in this analogy, Cujo is self-doubt. Four years ago at this time, we had lost the White House, the Senate, and the House. Today,

we have all three. That's because we all showed up, and we have to keep showing up, even when politics is frustrating or because it is frustrating. That's why we're here. That's what No Off Years is all about, showing up and to tell us more. Two people you should listen to more than us. Please welcome back Dan Pfeiffer, and you know her from A Day in the Life of Crooked Media, starring Michaela Watkins, co-starring Shaniqua McClendon. Shaniqua McClendon. All right. This is the segment of the show where we get serious.

So we are going to talk about why we need people who worked so hard in 2018 and 2020 to work just as hard in 2021 and 2022. Why we need people to be just as engaged as they were when Donald Trump was walking around the White House coughing on people. So joining me to help explain the stakes of this election is Crooked Media's own Shaniqua McClendon, the woman behind the No Off Years campaign. All right. All right, Shaniqua, what do you say to people who say, I knocked on doors, I wrote postcards because Donald Trump was president, but now Joe Biden's president and everything's totally fine and great? Everything is not totally fine and great. All of the things that really got us involved and engaged in 2017, 18, 19, and 20 are all the same things that we need

to be concerned about now. Trump is gone, but on January 6th, we saw a bunch of people storm the Capitol. And even since then, we've seen a lot of his Supreme Court appointments and other judicial appointments really kind of getting to get rid of access to abortion, upholding a lot of laws that have pushed voter suppression. And even at the state level, we've seen like crazy Republicans just kind of pushing some of the craziest bills we've ever seen. And that's because now Donald Trump is kind of who they look to for the kinds of things that they should be doing. And if we just kind of sit back and let that happen, things are going to get worse. And the final thing I'll add, which is part of why we created the No Off Years program, is we can't think that we're only supposed to be engaged and involved when elections come around. That's how

we got Trump to begin with, because everyone was kind of okay with the way things are. And so that's why we have to keep paying attention and keep being involved. You know, all the postcards, knocking on doors is great, but we have to be involved year round. And if not, things are going to get bad. So that's why we need everyone to participate. And, you know, I'm really excited to see the money coming in for no off years. So if you go to crooked.com slash no off years and donate, that will help us get money to a lot of the swing states who are registering voters and who are engaging voters year round

so that, yeah, we don't wake up next year on election day the way we felt in 2016. Donate to know off yours because things could always get worse. All right, let's be specific about the threats we face. So help explain to people watching today what would happen if the Republicans want enough seats to take the majority in the House. So literally, Nancy Pelosi would not be speaker anymore. She would have to hand her gavel over to Kevin McCarthy. And, you know, he is not really interested in governing. He just wants to keep the crazies happy so he can stay in power. and Marjorie Greene Taylor, and just kind of let them dictate what's happening in the House. And then that means they'll also start repealing all the things that Democrats have been working on over the past two years. The child tax credit that has helped lift a ton of children out of poverty. And also, if we end up, hopefully, fingers crossed, passing Build Back Better, a lot of the provisions that are in there, Republicans will immediately try to repeal those.

cross passing, build back better. A lot of the provisions that are in there, Republicans will immediately try to repeal those. And then on top of all the policies, they'll, of course, try to impeach Joe Biden. You know, I think there were real reasons to impeach Donald Trump twice, but they'll find anything, you know, frivolous to try to impeach Joe Biden. And the other thing I would just add is in addition to getting rid of things Democrats have done, we'll also start seeing a lot of the stuff that's coming up in state legislatures actually start making it through the House. Right now, those things can't even get a vote because Nancy Pelosi is Speaker. But once McCarthy is in charge and kind of dictating what comes to the floor, then, you know, more restrictive access to abortion, worse voter suppression laws will be things that are passing through the House and landing in the Senate. And hopefully nothing happens there in the Senate.

So in other words, we would be handing over one-sixth of our government to a group of very stupid, kind of crazy people who would do bad shit? Yeah, pretty much. Excellent. You're summarizing everything so succinctly. But there is one specific threat with the Republican House that we don't talk about enough, which is what would happen if the Republicans in control of the House after the votes are cast in the 2024 election? What specific threat would that have? Yeah. So we were really fortunate in 2020 that in 2018,

a ton of people put in a ton of work and were able to get Democrats elected. You know, we called it a blue wave. We were able to take control of the House, which is really important because the House certifies the electoral college votes, which if Republicans had been in charge, about a third of them or two thirds of them voted against certifying the election. So if they had the majority, the election wouldn't have been certified and they would have, you know, kind of pushed through their attempt to overturn the election. And so, you know, everyone got really engaged in 2018 and we were able to flip the house. But if we, you know, instead of seeing a blue wave or even just holding onto the

majority next year and we see a red wave, Republicans will actually have the power to, you know, overturn election results that they don't like in 2024. We obviously have a very narrow margin in the House. We have no margin in the Senate. What are the odds that we can keep this our Senate majority next year? Actually, better than the House. All the states that no Democrat is running to defend a seat in a state that Trump won last year. So that's good. But we have four states where they're extremely competitive races. So that's Arizona, Georgia, New Hampshire, and Nevada.

We have to keep those seats. Like, I don't think there's a world in which we lose any of those and we maintain our majority in the Senate. But there's other states where we actually have an opportunity as well. North Carolina, which hopefully we don't have any more Cal Cunningham situations there. Wisconsin, Florida, where Marco Rubio is Senator. And then maybe even Ohio, which Dan does not agree with me on, but it's okay. Okay. We'll bring all of our Slack conversations into the live stream.

Makes it seem cool. That was from an in-person meeting. Okay. Since we're going to try to end on a positive note here, it's not just that we can keep the Senate. Could we even expand our Senate by maybe two seats and then maybe be able to make a promise to everyone that we will never, ever mention Joe Manchin or Kyrsten Sinema again? If we get those two, then yes, we can make that promise to people. Although if that's not a reason to give to this fund, I do not know what is. Yeah. I mean, don't you never want to hear about two people who definitely don't represent

the interests of like the most of the country, but specifically Kyrsten Sinema doesn't seem to be representing most of the interests of her like constituents. So yeah, not having to like bend over backwards for them to piss us off all the time. I'm not going to go on my whole soapbox about them too. But if we can get rid of them, like we don't have to talk about them anymore. And we can actually start passing more progressive policies out of the Senate. So that alone, if you if you don't want to see, you know, another curtsy thumbs down on raising the minimum wage or hear about Joe Manchin and his boat, then, you know, just donate some money to the No Off Years Fund

at crooked.com slash nooffyears. And we, right now we're raising money to get voters registered in six states that will have a tremendous impact on us keeping the Senate, but also we're registering new voters will actually make a difference. This is, these are states where the margins in 2020 were pretty close. And there's a significant number of unregistered voters that can make the difference next year. Before we go, anything, any other races below House and Senate that people should be focused on and that and that the no off years fund will be helping? Yes.

So there are so many important races that are not happening at the federal level. First, governor's races in Michigan, Kansas and Wisconsin. Democratic governors are the last line of defense against Republican led legislatures, you know, from passing maps to, you know, voter suppression laws and anti-abortion laws. Governors are able to veto these laws and protect us from, you know, just the crazy things Republicans want to do. And then specifically thinking about Georgia last year, I know we don't want to put him on a pedestal, but having a halfway decent Secretary of State in Georgia allowed for Trump not to push through and get the election overturned there. And so Secretary of State elections and local election official elections are going to be really important for us to pay attention to because they will ultimately in 2024 either help Republicans overturn election results they don't

like or be the protection we have against them being able to do that. Because repetition is the key to good messaging. You say one more time where people can donate and where that money will go. Crooked.com slash no off years. And it will go to help crashers, organizers in the states that will have the biggest impact on us, keeping the Senate and expanding our margin there and, you know, hopefully keeping the House as well, but also keeping governors in office and building a good foundation for 2024. Our next guests are very impressive people. Please welcome What A Day's Travelle Anderson and Gideon Resnick

with some headlines that sum up 2021. Hello, hello, hello. Hello thank you for having us like levitt said uh we are the most impressive people you will ever meet uh and we're going to read three headlines from this year that best sum up 2021 or um at least sum it up pretty well okay this is from october 22nd trump's third act as a webmaster began on wednesday the announcement of his Twitter clone, Truth Social. The site will give conservatives a new home on the internet and will also let Trump have a social media account without registering his alter ego, Armando Florida. The app hasn't launched yet, but early signs point to an extremely strict theme. hasn't launched yet, but early signs point to an extremely strict theme. To get into the jargon,

tweets are called truths, retweets are called retruths, and the news feed is known as the truth feed because they do truth over there. The platform is just one aspect of a much larger operation Trump is cooking up called Trump Media and Technology Group, which will supposedly compete with Disney Plus and Netflix. And win against them, I might add. We will soon find out. TMTG Plus will specialize in non-woke content, which there's actually no shortage of since our world has been mostly racist, sexist, xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic. You know, I can go down a long list.

For all of human history. That's the truth. Truth Social isn't even live yet but its parent company tmtg plus already values itself at nearly 900 million dollars i'm sure that is not an overestimate in the slightest i mean have you been paying attention to the news gideon i have uh because i have to do it for my job uh for which we are really good at and quite impressive please donate once again. Here is a headline from March 12th. There's a new way for art to be confusing. It has to do with

so-called non-fungible tokens, which allowed an image file from an artist called Beeple to sell for 69 million real American dollars at auction yesterday. We missed out and we will talk about it later. Non-fungible tokens can be thought of like certificates of authenticity that are stored on the blockchain. Cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin also rely on the blockchain. So at a time when interest in crypto is skyrocketing, prices of NFTs tagged to art, sports highlights, tweets, and even virtual sneakers are soaring as well. Soon, an NFT of this very image that you are watching will sell for quite a lot of money.

Thank you very much. But I'm not in that image. There we go. Yeah, okay. That's the right one. Don't bid yet. Make sure you get the right one. To suburban dads in museums scoffing at Rothkos because all they are is colors. Truly, suck on this.

Critics of NFTs say they're valueless and the digital assets they're connected to can often be accessed for free anyway uh it sounds like a great note from someone who doesn't want to make a hundred million smackaroos have you made an nft yet have you sold one have you bought one uh i haven't but i you know greatly look forward to the profits that will roll in after uh this fundraiser and lastly this headline is from april 5th ad operating a huge boat to the list of things women can't do without getting harassed last month egypt's first female ship captain was briefly blamed for the mess at the suez canal despite being on a different ship at the time hundreds of miles away fucked up rumors

that the woman caused the crash circulated on social media. It's worth noting that women only account for 2% of the world's seafarers. The ocean is an extremely male-dominated space, except for, of course, Little Mermaid and seahorses, who, as we know, transcend gender, as the best of us do. Exactly. Shout out. As far as who did cause the suez canal crash two investigations are currently underway and the ship's owner and its insurers could be on the hook for hundreds

of millions of dollars honestly based on the mileage everyone got out of this story i think we owe it to them to start a gofundme yes we do and that gofundme will eventually fund the nft that you will buy of this image that you were looking at. Again, thank you for fundraising once more. Yes. Again, not everyone would say that those were the year's most important stories, but they definitely were stories from this year. Yeah. And that's all we promised. To get more opinions on how people are looking back on 2021, we hit the streets. Let's hear what they all had to say with our man on the street, Whataday's head writer, John Milstein. Hey, what a year. I'm John Milstein, head writer of the Whataday podcast.

And most of the time, I'm cool with being behind the scenes. It doesn't make me feel bad. For a lot of us, 2021 was a year that sucked ass, balls, pussy, and dick. But I don't want to remember it that way. That's why I'm here on the streets of Los Angeles, asking people what, if anything, made this year tolerable to Just OK. What about the year was good for you? It was the best year of my life.

My daughter got married, so I was very happy about that. The husband, could you kick his ass? Um, maybe. I switched my jobs because it was, like was really bad, so I got a raise. This is actually good information to have for all of our employers. The company that the three of us all work for should take us seriously. Do you remember the five hours when Instagram went down? Yeah.

How did you keep yourself from going insane? I don't really use it that much. Oh, right, right. Me neither. I don't use it that much. Oh, right, right. Me neither. I don't use it that much. I'm only on it all the time. Did you make money on GameStop like all my toxic male friends?

No. You and I, we're smart guys. How the f*** did we miss out on this? I don't play into that stuff too much. It gets really complicated. The stuff of having a bunch of money? Were there any good birds that you saw in 2021? Yeah, tons.

The serious birding was in 2020 when there was no traffic. So 2020 was a better year for birding than 2021. Yes. But you would not say coronavirus was worth it for the birding? No way. Thank God. Me neither. Do you know who this is yes bernie sanders so this man was able to make a hundred thousand people happy for a day simply by putting on mittens do we need politicians to mitten up

more i mean is that going to be what it takes it was a very cold day and he's a older gentleman i bet in the winter of the 1960s he was wearing mittens. In the 1970s he was wearing mittens if it was cold. Hard to say whether the consistency of policies is what makes Bernie so popular or if it's just sort of the consistency of winter wear. This was the most beautiful thing I saw, a visit between our current president Joe Biden and his wife and our former president Jimmy, and his wife, and our former president, Jimmy Carter, and his wife.

And as you can see, Joe Biden seems to have used some sort of magic spell to make him about three or four times the size of Jimmy Carter, probably as a way to scare Jimmy Carter out of trying to steal the presidency back. I love that that's what you gathered from this picture. You know, you'd have to be crazy to think anything else with all due respect. They're saying that there are four people who had the best 2021. Do you recognize these four? Oh, these four.

This is the Ralphs on Hollywood and Western. What if I told you that I was in this stall eating my lunch alone? You know how sometimes you go to the bathroom to eat lunch because you can't find a person to eat with? Yeah. So I'm there eating my lunch. Meanwhile, the four most popular people in the world are out there having a Bacchanalian orgy. One thing that happened in 2021 that was good was that we finally elected a politician who cares about the things that we care about, the hard rock group Imagine Dragons. Would you mind reading some of these tweets about Imagine Dragons?

Looking forward to your write-up of the new Imagine Dragons album. Picking up the new Imagine Dragons album on iTunes released today. Yay! Imagine Dragons fans are called fire breathers, and we finally have, after so much struggle, a fire breather in the Senate. Is that a reason to like 2021? Yes. One last thing we're doing. We're giving away a t-shirt to the person who had hiccups for the largest number of consecutive days in 2021. Did you have hiccups

for any days in a row? It usually doesn't last for like I'd say more than an hour. Like an hour. Zero days. Sorry. I'm really sorry you lost to the evil president of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro, who had hiccups for 10 days that were so bad he had to go to the hospital. There's no more valiant way to lose than to, honestly, the greatest hiccup-er that probably has ever been. If your body is giving you hiccups for 10 days in a row, your body knows the score and wants you dead. Yep. Now that I've talked to some people and showed them some photographs

that I actually brought here myself, I'm starting to feel less strongly about how bad this year sucked. Sure, there were some people who say that it sucked ass, balls, pussy, and dick. There were other people who say it just sucked balls. But there was beauty in 2021 as well. And unlike the Carters photographed next to the Bidens, that beauty wasn't small. So let's all remember that. Back to you, what a year.

And we're back. Joining us now with a game of Take Survivor, it's Crooked's own Jason Concepcion. And joining him is Jon Favreau, Louis Vertel, Caroline Reston, and Kendra James. Jason Concepcion. Yes, that's right. You know what that sound is. It's the drums, the hypnotic drums of Take Survivor,

the game where only the strongest take survives. Joining us today, he is our boss, Jon Favreau, co-host of Pod Save America. Jon, how are you? I'm pretty good. Thanks for having me. She is a producer, one of the greatest producers that the world has ever seen. Caroline, rest in rest in peace.

Thank you. I was not aware I was on this segment with my boss, so regretting all my answers. He is the co-host of Keep It, Lose for Tell. And he also, I understand he can name every Oscar winner ever. 1965 Best Supporting Actor. Martin Balsam in A Thousand Clowns. Have you ever seen Psycho?

He plays the cop in it. And he used to be George Clooney's father-in-law. Amazing. Amazing. Unbelievable stuff. And she is a senior producer here at Crooked Media, Kendra James. Kendra, how are you? Hello.

I'm shaken every time I hear him do that. So here's how it works, folks. If you've ever listened to Take Line uh the podcast that i co-host with two-time wma champion ray montgomery you know how this game works but here's how it works there'll be three rounds three prompts three questions our contestants will give their takes and then you the stream team or whatever we're calling the people in the chat will then vote for the person who is uh booted from the island each round until we get to the finals, in which case you will vote for the winner. Everybody clear on what's going to happen here today?

One of the ruder games. People are actually eliminated. Feelings will be hurt. It's okay. You know, it's, you know, Squid Game, all of that, Battle Royale. You know what the deal is. Call of Duty Warzone, it's a lot like that. It's ruthless, and only one take can survive.

First question, what is the best holiday gift? Is it a gift card? Is it a sweater? Is it some socks? What is the best holiday gift? John. A puppy. Yeah.

You're never going to ask for it, but if you get it you're gonna be really excited you're gonna keep it you're gonna be overjoyed even though you didn't think you wanted it and it's gonna be your friend for life you should give people puppies strong opener a large cost you will be incurring from that. A strong opener once again. Caroline, since you have strong feelings about that, what is the best holiday gift? What is the best gift? So I would say anything that's going to be impacted by the supply chain is the ideal gift.

So what I mean by that is like something material, something you can own, something you can wear, something you can touch. And I know the holidays are all about giving and it's like the thought that counts but if you're gonna write me a diy heartfelt letter save it for thanksgiving bitch the holidays are about asking the people you love to buy you shit and why would you say no to that like don't deny it accept it mom if you're watching go to stodd-cl.com. I want a new purse. Thank you so much.

Anything supply chain, microchips, anything that uses cobalt, that is what Caroline would like for the holidays. Lewis, what's the best gift? First of all, that was like a wrap. I was like, I can't believe I just witnessed that. Second of all, my answer is among friends, which is fancy underwear. It's not something you're necessarily going to buy for yourself. And it brings you closer to your friends

because you're both like, we're in this together. We want to look fancy. Sex is important to us. We got to look cool. We want to wear silk. But I don't want to buy that for myself necessarily and wait for that in the mail. So your friends looking out for you being like,

you know what? I know what your cakes look best in. And. So your friends looking out for you being like, you know what? I know what like your cakes look best in and I'm going to buy this for you. It's really intimate and friendly and we all grow from it. Kendra. Okay. So while I, he is my boss, I do have to directly disagree. I do not want a responsibility for Christmas. I don't want a plant.

I don't want an animal, nothing. What I want is for you to do unto me as I would do to myself, which means contributing to my Beyonce fund. I don't know how she moves. I don't know what her plan is, but I know that she will drop a ticket out of thin air, give me money to contribute to that fund, or if she happens to do something in December,

that's usually not her way. But if she does, I want that ticket. It must be VIP and I would like to be in front of the stage. Wow. Beyonce fund. The vague idea of Beyonce occurring at any given moment. Well, you have to be ready. She demands preparedness.

Zelle, Venmo, or Cash App contribute to the Beyonce fund. You can do that right now. Let's go to the voting. This is democracy in action, folks, and direct democracy, not a republic. This is a direct democracy. If you, whoever you would like to see booted from this round of Take Survivor,

please vote for them with hashtag their initials. So hashtag JF for Jon Favreau, our boss. I'm not suggesting you do that. I'm just saying. Hashtag CR for Caroline Reston. Hashtag LV for Lewis. And hashtag KJ for Kendra James. Folks, who's it going to be? Is it going to be Jon Favreau who

says, how would you like to feed something for 13 years and pick up its shit? Will it be Caroline Reston who says, supply chain folks, you know why the air is so bad in Los Angeles? Because we've got all these container ships off the coast. Maybe that's the reason.

She says, isn't that great? Let's contribute to it. Willoughby Lewis. That's accurate. Who says, get me a song. Get me something lacy. Some nice boxers. It's also $700 less than a puppy.

Oh my. Still a lot. Free puppies. There's free puppies everywhere. Oral B. Kendra James. Who says, still a lot. Or it'll be Kendra James. There's free puppies everywhere. Or it'll be Kendra James who says, my Beyonce fund, that is the best gift. Tickets to Beyonce, the gift that keeps on giving. The votes are coming in now.

Let's take a look. I can barely see it. Tough for me. And who has been ejected? Well, the first boot in this what a year edition of Take Survivor is apparently Mr. Puppy, John Favreau. John, what do you have to say? I'm getting you all a puppy. That's what I'm going to do. Vicious.

Enjoy. Enjoy. Democracy in action. Folks, it's time for round two. Bye, guys. Enjoy. Enjoy. Democracy in action. Folks, it's time for round two. Bye, guys. Bye. He's crying. It's super weird.

It's very tough. Much like a puppy after 14 years shuffling off stage. Folks, round two. Are you ready? Yes. What is the best? What's the best holiday song? What's the best holiday song ever written? You can go back in time to something from the American Songbook.

You can do something more recent. What's the best holiday song? Caroline, what's the best holiday song? The best holiday song is NSYNC's Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. Why is that song the best song? Because holiday song is and sings merry christmas happy holidays why is that song the best song because that song is fucking chaos you can tell the in sync guys just wanted to sing merry christmas and some like studios like was like but like what if like we added happy holidays and they're like fine if you go listen to that song there are about 35 mentions i counted mentions of christmas three mentions of happy holidays and what i love so much about

this song is that it reminds us that the liberal salt on Christmas is real and that's what I want to be reminded of every holiday season. Can you sing the chorus? Oh my god. Okay. Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Happy holiday. And we're getting sued Three mentions of Christmas there Lewis first of all 1949 adapted screenplay Adapted Oh All the King's Men

Lewis What is the best holiday song? That's a good answer If you shop exclusively at Target But I think a great answer for all time is We Need a Little Christmas

from the musical Mame. Because most Christmas songs are just about like, we're in the holiday season, it's nice, it's snowing outside. This is about the urgency of Christmas. We need a little Christmas right this very minute. I want it. You know what I mean? I want the gifts. I want the Veruca saltness of Christmas. I earn gifts now. And also Angela L. I want it. You know what I mean? I want the gifts. I want the Veruca saltness of Christmas.

I want it now. I earn gifts now. And also Angela Lansbury sings it. And I'm going to say she's a slightly more artistic singer than J.C. Chazet or whatever you were throwing down over there. The best number I've been singing. Wow. Sorry.

I'm hyperventilating. Wow. Unbelievable stuff. Angela Lansbury, serial killer from, what was her crime show? Murder, She Wrote. I'm telling you. She was a mystery writer.

She was around a lot of murders. That's all I have to say about that. It's very, very suspicious. Kendra. Yeah. What is the best holiday song? As you may be able to tell, I am black. And thus, the best holiday song is This Christmas. It is also the most versatile holiday song. You have a Fantasia version. You have the

classic Donny Hathaway version if you just want soulful. If there's a marshmallow on your Christmas table or your Thanksgiving table, you have the Pentatonix version. You can also, if your Christmas is happening in hell, there's the Chris Brown version. Like there's something for everyone. So this Christmas, best holiday song, hands down. Wow, folks. Let's take it to the voters once again. Stream team, you know what to do.

You're voting for the person you'd like to see ejected from the island once again. After round two of Take Survivor, you're voting with their initials, hashtag their initials. Who will it be? Will it be Caroline Reston, who says, and sinks, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.

Good song. Will it be Kendra, who says, This Christmas, with a multitude of versions. There are 30 versions. 30 of them. One for everyone.

30 versions, Zannie them. One for everyone. 30 versions, Zannie Hathaway, Fantasia, etc. Willoughby Lewis, who says, you want it. You need it. You need just a little Christmas.

The urgency is what's important, yes. Who's it going to be, folks? The votes are coming in. Very exciting. Any least favorite holiday songs up here on the couch? On the stage? Maybe It's Cold Outside.

That's sort of the traditional lib answer. Yeah, tough one. Let's see. And then the... Oh my gosh. Well, the people have spoken and they have said Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake, Lance Ass. That's whatlake. Lance Ass.

That's what it is, yeah. Joseph Fatone, J.C. Chassé. This is disgusting. This is rigged. I don't like it. G-T-F-O, NSYNC. Caroline, what do you have to say? I feel like all I have to say is you,

everyone who voted for me is now deprived the joy of ever listening to NSYNC. You go to a club, you're not allowed to listen to NSYNC. You leave immediately. No more joy for you. Goodbye. Just two Jeopardy champions. No, not champions. Two Jeopardy losers.

And that, folks, is how you go out with class. Welcome to the finals of Take Survivor. What are your addition? Please give it up one time for our finalists. Kendra and Lewis. By the way, you didn't bring up the Patti LaBelle version on YouTube. It's great. She screwed up.

You got to watch that on YouTube if you haven't seen it. She's wonderful. Stream team, just going to remind you once again, we're going to be voting for the winner after this round. And here is our question. What is the perfect New Year's Eve celebration?

The perfect New Year's Eve celebration. Lewis, let's start with you. Alright, here it is. Going to bed earlier than you ever have in your entire life. Don't even participate in the night. Don't drink a thing. It's 4.30. You're tired.

Get into the bed. Sleep like this. Put your head between your knees. Don't hear a thing. Don't interact with anybody. Don't accept greetings. Don't text anybody. Don't look on Instagram.

Don't get ideas for going out. Don't even remember what going out is. Just say, I'm a person who needs sleep. I'm going to get it now. And then I'll emerge in the midst of this horrible Kafka-esque tragedy we call January. Celebrating January. Think about celebrating January.

That's what this holiday is. Say no. Wow. My birthday's in January, Louis. See, this is what I mean. That felt personal. Kendra. Yeah. What is the ultimate, the perfect, the ideal New Year's Eve celebration gotta say it's similar to Lewis

I'm at home I'm alone no one's bothering me not even my husband I'm ignoring calls from friends relatives loved ones co-workers no one's getting in touch with me I'm in the tub I have my iPad set up on the tub tray,

and I'm watching the compilation video on YouTube of all the girls trying to hit that note in Astonishing from Little Women, the Christopher Columbus part. That's what I'm doing on New Year's Eve. That's ideal. I'm not watching anything on television. I don't need to see a ball drop. Happy New Year's everybody

Wow I'm 34 what do you want from me Let's give it to the stream team This is it This is the big finals everybody You are voting for the winner You are voting for your favorite Take of what is the perfect

New Year's Eve celebration It will be Louis who said Go to bed Go to bed right. Go to bed. Go to bed right now. Go to bed early. Coma. Don't worry about FOMO.

Don't open your phone. No FOMO. Coma. That's right. Go right to sleep. You're going to wake up rested. Everybody's going to look like a zombie, and you're going to feel great.

Or will it be Kendra, who very similarly said, also leave me alone, husband. You too. I'm going to be in the bathroom in the tub watching a compilation video of ladies singing the high note in Astonishing. Folks, let's take it to the votes. It's looking very close right now. Not that close.

No. Well, you know, we're trying to pump up the suspense. Well, you know, we're trying to pump up the suspense. And folks, the winner of the first annual What a Year edition of Take Survivor is... First of all, who won the 1938 Oscar for Best Actress? Best Actress. Betty Davis, her second. Louis Rattel.

Louis, what? Louis. What do you have to say? I think I said it, frankly. Feeling good. Endorphins flying through me, up through me. I feel like a poem. I'm just full of feeling.

And we're back. Everyone watching this stream, thank you so much for your generosity. But before we say goodnight, let us leave you with a song. Please welcome to the stage Jenna Bird and the Crooked Media Gay Men's Chorus. It's a December 7th miracle. AOC, bless us, everyone.

Hello. Thanks for having me, guys. Thank you so much for joining us. Absolutely. What a show. Jenna Bird, everybody. Thanks for being here. Absolutely.

Here we go. One, two, three. In the first month of this year, my timeline gave to me a mob in the heart of D.C. In the second month of this year, my timeline gave to me impeachment trial too, and a mob in the heart of DC. In the third month of this year, my timeline gave to me big stuck boat impeachment trial two and a mob in the heart of DC. In the fourth month of this year my timeline gave to me biden's biting dog big stuck boat beachman trial too and i'm wrong in the heart of dc with more gusto on the fifth month of this year, my timeline gave to me joy, low, and bad. Sign and tug, pig stuck, boat impeachment trial too.

And a mom in the heart of D.C. Y'all sound beautiful. On the sixth month of this year, my timeline came to me. Whale swallowed a guy, J-Lo and Ben. Biden's biting dog, big stuck boat Impeachment trial too And a mob in the heart of D.C. In the seventh month of this year

My timeline gave to me Billionaires a-launching Whale swallowed a guy Day low and dead Biden's fighting dog, big stuck boat Impeachment trial too, and a mob in the heart of D.C. In the eighth month of this year, my timeline came to me.

Horse goo was selling, billionaires a-launching, whales swallowed, J-Lo and Ben. Biden's biting dog, big stuff, vote impeachment trial

too, and a mob in the heart of DC. In the ninth month of this year, my timeline gave to me fake balls of swelling horse, who was sideling Billy Gant as a launching whale swallowed a guy, gay, low, and dead. Biden's fighting dog, pig, stuck, vote impeachment trial, too. And a mob in the heart of DC. In the 10th month of this year, my timeline gave to me.

Unions a striking feat, balls a swelling horse, goo a-sailing, billionaires a-launching, whales swallowed a guy, J-Lo and Ben. Biden's binding, dog-peek-stuck, vote impeachment trial too, and a mob in the heart of D.C. In the eleventh month of this year, my timeline came to me. Britney Spears, a freeing, Conan's a striking, fake balls, a swelling horse, who was selling, striking feet, balls a swelling horse, who was selling millionaires a launching whale, swallowed a guy, gay, low and good. Beautiful.

Guidance-binding dog, big stuck boat, impeachment trial, too. And a mob in the heart of DC. We made it, everyone. Last one. In the 12th month of this year, my timeline came to me. No more of Cuomo's Britney Spears

of freeing mutants of striking big balls of swelling whores, goose-sailing billionaires of launching whales while Loda Guy, every big J-Lo and Ben. Biden's fighting dog,

big stuff, vote impeachment trial to end up off in the heart of D.C. Yay! Thank you all so much for watching, and thank you to our wonderful sponsors, Imperfect Food and Bev. And thanks everybody for watching and for donating.

Have a great night. Hot Save America is a Crooked Media production. The executive producer is Michael Martinez. Our senior producer is Andy Gardner-Bernstein. Our producer is Haley Muse, and Olivia Martinez is our associate producer. It's mixed and edited by Andrew Chadwick. Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer. Thanks to Tanya Somanator, Sandy Gerrard, Hallie Kiefer, Madison Holman, and Justine Howe for production support.

And to our digital team, Elijah Cohn, Phoebe Bradford, Milo Kim, and Amelia Montuth. Our episodes are uploaded as videos at youtube.com slash crooked media.