Podcast: The Ride - A Country Bear Jamboree with The Off Book Podcast

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

Zach Reino, Jess McKenna and the whole Off Book gang join us deep in the Angeles National Forest for a real, live, improvised Country Bear Jamboree. Jamborweek artwork by Tona Grasa:  https://www.instagram.com/grizzlyrojo/ Country Bears (2002) episode up at The Grizzly Gate:  Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Jamborweek shirts now on sale at the PTR Giftshop:  https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride?ref_id=7251 Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever! Dog! Yeah, well, hee-haw, yep, here's another one. Today it's a gosh darn team-up with Zach Reno and Jess McKenna and the Off Book Podcast crew to do an improvised Country Bear Jamboree. We're doing a real show, not just talking about one. Wee-haw, Country Bear Jamboree Weekday 5 Podcast arrived! hey guys hey hey isn't it so nice that podcast the ride and off book are getting together to see we don't hang out we're always so busy working

doing podcasts and we don't we never like it's so nice to get to like go out and see a show go like have a share a culture between us and talk about them and not necessarily for content when Mike came to me he was like do you and just we

got we have five tickets to go see A Country Bear Jamboree. And I said, do you mean The Country Bear Jamboree? And he said, no, A Country Bear Jamboree. A Country Bear Jamboree. Very hard to get into the one. But there are Country Bear Jamborees happening all over. You just got to know where to go. Some of them are great.

The Indy Circuit. I was going to say, I don't know too much about them. So I'm excited to see this. Overall, the bears are great. The Indy Circuit. I was going to say, I don't know too much about them. It's they're there. So I'm excited to see this. But yeah, overall, the bears are safe. That's what I can tell you. I don't you don't you never know, but you don't really have to be worried about danger. Oh, yeah.

You don't mean like like real bears or like bears being scary or it's definitely not just a room where there's a bunch of loose bears running around. There's there's kind of a control to it. And the idea is that they're trained and they do music and sing songs about their life. I didn't even know there was a theater in this part of the Angeles National Forest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, if you're like a city dweller, you know, if you're trying to just stay around the Orpheum or the Ace Theater or whatever, you're probably not going to get a contribution.

But if you hike, yeah, you'll find them all over. Can I say thank you for dropping a pin? Because otherwise, I think I would have gotten lost. Listen, Jessica McKenna and I would not have been able to make it out here to the woods. Thank you, Zachary. Oh, yeah. Well, it's no problem. I actually learned how to get here because Van Morrison played here last week.

Oh. One of his secret shows. Okay. Yeah, one of his secret shows. He's doing a whole album. He's topical material. Yeah, all his anti-mass stuff yeah

he's trying to stay off the grid so which you can do more easily in a cabin in the woods right yeah yeah yeah so he's playing to mostly an audience of woodland creatures but that's probably good for him

just to keep workshopping yeah yeah they don't tweet really except for the birds right except for the birds yeah that's my way of fun

well uh shall we Mike Carlson? Yeah let's go in here Head on into the theater Oh my gosh This stump is so cozy Oh yeah Oh wait we each have

There's like a number Carved in it Yeah oh Did you want to be in for Or do you like the aisle? Aisle's good for me I like to sit in the stump My tickets

I'm weird No I get that We'll scoot down We'll scoot down Sorry No no which one were you? Two You're two yeah You can sit between Jessica Sorry to stump my tickets. I'm weird. No, I get that. We'll scoot down. We'll scoot down. Sorry. No, no. Which one were you? You can sit between Jessica and I.

Sorry. No, it's fine. I don't care. No. It's a thing. No, I get it. I get it. Do you guys want any like concessions before we start?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What do they have? Oh, grubs. Yeah, there's grubs mostly. Popcorn. Not popcorn. Popcorn. Yeah. I'll take a grubs i think yeah popcorns are too risky like what is it what is it actually yeah yeah grubs at least you know what you're getting there's a yeah they have peppermint bark as well

oh i wonder if that's what we think it is oh do you think it's what we think it is i think it's probably actual bark yeah it may just some peppermint got stuck to it. They don't really blend the best. It's not blended. I think it's starting. Oh, boy. Wow. A country bear jamboree?

How did they get the lights to dim? Have you found your way into your stump? Are you all comfortable sitting out there? Everybody fit? Your seat ain't too big for your seat? Or too small for your ego? Are you all ready to hear some music? I can't hear you.

Are you all ready to hear some music? I can't hear you. Are you all ready to hear some music? Oh, sorry. Yeah! Yeah! I love you, Bears. Well, get ready, because what we're about to do has never been attempted before. Do a show following Van Morrison on the schedule.

We've never done it. Van Morrison was our opener. That's what done it. Van Morrison was our opener. That's what I say. That's what I like to say, too. He hit the road. This is our place in the woods. And we're going to tell you a little bit about what it's like to live here. Yeah, maybe we should introduce ourselves.

My name's Rudy. Oh, hey, Rudy. Oh, it's just me. Kersanthemum Sue. It's Rudy. Oh, hey, Rudy. Oh, it's just me. Curse Anthem, I'm Sue. It's me. Oh, turnip. Why, I'm good old Gumford. And I'm Juniper.

Have you ever seen a bear with another bear singing a song? A song. Have you ever seen a bear with another bear singing a song? A song! Have you ever seen a bear with another bear singing a song? Only if you come out to these fling of the woods. Well, if you do, you might start to think that you could sing along. Go ahead, try it because we're a bear and we're with another bear

singing a song sounds so lovely we're a bear group that likes to be safe on stage safe on stage you don't have to worry we're not On stage. Safe on stage. You don't have to worry.

We're not gonna attack you. In an angry rage. We're not gonna say weird stuff. We're not gonna be offensive is what I'm saying. We're not gonna be political. We're not up on current events. Have you ever seen a bear with another bear

singing a song? Well, how about five bears? Have you ever seen a bear with another bear singing a song? I suppose they have now. Hey, you're right. You've seen a bear, one or two.

Two. Singing a song, singing just for you Now you've seen five bears singing and a singing and a singing a song Singing a song If you're brave enough we won't attack you if you try to sing along

I guess we're supposed to sing along? Okay, now have you ever seen a bear singing a song it'd be helpful if they put like the words up on this yeah we just heard this first time hey good job all you fine folks singing along. Sorry, that one's Rudy. What's the name?

You're with the bears and you're singing and you're singing our song. Juniper's cute. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Is that Juniper with the jug? Yeah, Juniper has a jug. Yeah, Juniper's really cute, but Juniper seems like he's falling asleep. Now, I do have to tell you all, sometimes I doze off.

And when I am awake, you gotta keep your eye on me. So, be forewarned, I have covered my legal basis. And you signed away, and it writes, when you bought this ticket. Whoa, does Juniper have a knife? Wait, so what happens when he falls asleep? Well, he falls, and when he's awake, you gotta keep his eye on him. Okay, yeah, all right. And we sang a song.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was great. Oh, boy. It's just so nice to be back in the company of the bears who I love harmonizing the most with. Oh, you know, it's just so special to be out here on a moonlit night looking at the faces of my family favorite bears. Yeah, oh, you youngins, you may not remember this, but Van Morrison was here somewhat recently. That's right. Yeah, I heard about it.

Boy, your memory's going. We talked about this nary a few minutes ago. You don't remember when you came in the place, did you? Don't mind old Turnip. Old Turnip. Old Turnip. We already spoke about Van Morrison and how he was our opening act. Where did I put my hat?

Do I have it? Oh, no. It's right here on my head. Old Turnip. Old Turnip. Old Turnip. That's why we keep 25 hats on the ground, so you always got one, even if you forget. These are hats that change so much these days.

Oh, Old up. Well, we've got more hats than I ever seen. Some are blue, some are green, some are wide, some are thin. Pick a hat and put your head right in. If you want another hat, you want more. Got 25 hats right here on the floor. Some are big. Some are small. But they're all hats after all.

Now this one's got a feather. And I gotta say it looks pretty nice. But you gotta be careful about every hat, because everyone is covered in lice. Oh, every hat. Oh, when you pick a hat, oh, you might want to switch. But it doesn't matter which hat you put on your head, because it's gonna give you an itch.

This one sure does. This one's black and this one's white. This one's made out of a rug. This one's straw and this one's grass. But all of them are covered in bugs. We gotta stop storing our clothes in a closet full of bugs. That's what I know. We gotta get those dang bugs out of here before our family can grow.

We have to raise a family too. We're trying to raise a family with all these ads. Trying to raise a family with all these ads. Trying to raise a family with all these ads. We have to raise a family with all these ads. Trying to raise a family with all these ads. Trying to raise a family with all these ads. Well, thank you for reminding me. I was wondering what all these hats were doing out on the floor.

Oh, we just told you. We did a dang song about it. Now, be careful when you put these on your head because some of them are covered in bugs. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, thanks, old turnip. You're welcome. It's best to humor remain it. Old Turnip, you should do those puzzles with numbers to keep your mind sharp.

The Sudoku? The Sudoku, yeah. The Sudoku. Why won't you Sudoku? Now, if I remember correctly, y'all were working on a bit of a tune about a Sudoku. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were doing that.

I was having a problem, though, figuring out what it was and how it worked again as far as a Sudoku. But I love the word Sudoku. I love the idea of it. I just end up with a page with the numbers one through nine scrolled all over it. Well, I think that's a mighty good step, Juniper, since that's basically the nature of the game. It's a

start. I've been trying to, you know, channel my bear-like urges into more productive activities. I think that's grand, Juniper. Keeping your paws busy, that's what it's about. That's right. Because you're the one most likely of us to get a mauling. That's what the knife is for, but I'm trying to wean myself off of it.

I knew ever since you were little, Juniper, that you were dangerous if I didn't keep my eye on you. Now with Chrysanthemum, I ain't never had to worry about that. No, no, you don't have to watch old Chrysanthemum Sue unless you're watching her do a dance. I'll take your eyes on the stage while Chris Anthem presents part of the Sugar Plum Ballet Room and Nutcrackers. That's right. This is our holiday show, y'all. And one, two, three, one, two, three Part of the ray and spin And Arabesque in second position

And you can do it too Do they want us to do it too? I think they want us to do it too, yeah That can't be right You already sang along I don't know if I get ballet along It's ballet, that can't be right I don't know if he's Moo

I have not a dense knowledge Everybody get up and do the dance. Okay, okay, sounds fine. Everyone get on your feet and dance. Oh, he's brandishing his knife. And pot of beret. And pot of beret. Is this how you?

Arrowhead and spear. That's not right. Arabesque in second position. Don't make us start it again. You call that an arabesque? Where is your turnout? We don't want to eat you. Please try to move from your hips.

They're all getting mad. That is better and that looks better. And give it a cute little tip. All right, they ain't doing it. Send security out into the audience to make them do it. Oh, the security bears are much more frightening than the sickest ones. Alright, they ain't doing it. Send security out into the audience to make them do it. Oh, the security bears are much more frightening than the sickest ones. They don't talk bigger.

The security bears are always mad. So, it's not just me for once. And that puts my mind at ease. Oh my gosh, these bears are... I mean, okay, just everyone... We're far from the worst people here. As long as we try, we're going to be fine. Pot of beret and pot of beret and pirouette and spin.

Security bears will eat you alive if you do not come in. Rub up the one in seat three. Bring him up here. Bring him up here. Bring one of them up here on stage. Make an example of him. Make an example. Why me?

Okay, just tell me how to do the moves. Grab me gently and I will try to do them. All right. Ouch, that's not gentle. Pot of beret and pot of beret. Pierrot wet and spit. I'm more delicate than you and your bears.

I could simply crush your body and tear off all of your limbs. No, please don't. But I won't if you try. Just give it your all.

Pot of beret. Now pot of beret will eat you if you fall Don't fall, Scott! I'm falling! But I'm up on only one toe! I've never done this! You've got it!

Oh, they're not much for yoga! Oh my god, his joints! His joints are manipulated! Pot of Array And Pot of Array And Barrowhead and Finn This isn't so bad Now that I'm trying it

Bear ballet's kind of fun I'm glad that I've tried But please let me go Juniper, is that a gun? It's okay Now, this is for my protection But I'm just showing you it So you know I have it.

We're not going to get political. We're not going to get political. It's for protection. Now keep up the moves or else we're going to be playing mumble-de-peg on this stage. Don't worry about Juniper. It's just the right for a bear to bear arms. That's so funny. That's so funny. That's so funny.

Don't hurt me. Let's give it up for our volunteer. Now, all you have to do is one final move. Okay. You're going to run and jump, and I'm going to do the dirty dance and lift with you. Oh, okay. All right. That's not the other way.

Do you trust me? I guess I have no choice. Do you trust me? I trust you. I trust you. Good. You're my god today. That's right. Oh, that never will clear.

Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott.

Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott.

Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott.

Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott.

Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott.

Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Scott. Okay, you only dug your claws into my chest a little bit. That was kind of invigorating. You can return to your seat now.

Thank you for... Let's give Scott a big hand and remind you that paws can't help but do a little mauling. Oh, yeah, that's true. Guys, okay, you need to stay in line. I wasn't pretending. I'm so jealous that I didn't get to get... That was so cool. You were really playing along with how dangerous it seemed up there.

That bear lifted you into the air. Like it was amazing. Yeah, that was amazing. Yeah, that was great. Grace, thy name is Scott.

Oh my God. If they hadn't have confiscated our phones at the door so that we could be in the moment, I totally would have had a great video. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I'm kind of only focusing on the negative. I guess actually I unlocked kind of a beautiful, graceful side of myself.

Yeah, I mean, you're bleeding a little bit, but I feel like it'll be fine. I can't, I mean, like, it seemed like you were playing along with the danger of it as well, but did you, like, actually feel, I mean, I thought I could tell they were kidding. I wasn't, like, actually scared. No, I think some of these cuts and scars might be permanent. I think I have these forever now, but hey, it's nice to have some souvenirs of a visit. Oh, Scott, the security bear's offering you a bandage. Okay.

Can I put it on myself, please? No, they're putting it on Scott. No, they're putting it on, and they're mostly using claws. No, you're making new cuts. They're cutting him. Oh, well. That was a tender ending.

Hey, you know what? One more. Might as well. You guys, I'm getting a little used to it. I think I like a country bear jamboree. Just real quick, there's for my own sort of edification. That's chrysanthemum, Sue.

There's old turnip. There's juniper. Is that Rodney? Rudy. My name's Rudy. Rudy. I can hear you. Yeah, we can all hear you.

The whole damn theater can hear you. We'll be quiet. Hi, y'all. It's a small house. It's a small house. It's an intimate affair. We're Black Box. Gunther?

Good old Gumphrey, I believe. Gumphrey is his name, yeah. That's right. Know it and fear it. Yeah, if you got Gumphrey, I believe. Gumphrey is his name, yeah. That's right. Know it and fear it. Yeah, if you got any other questions, I guess just ask them out loud. You don't normally do a question and answer part of Country Bear Jamboree.

Yeah, but I don't know. I guess we could. Has anybody got any questions for us? Yeah, me too. I didn't want to see my hat. There's 25 hats on the ground, old turnip. But remember, They all got bugs Well

If it don't have bugs on it It's no hat of mine Yeah I'd just like to take this opportunity To remind everyone That we have merchandise In the lobby And if you want to go out

And get it anytime You can Me? Well You can I don't know what I would want Merchandise You could wear your own merchandise

You could But it's a delicate line Yeah Yeah And plus The merchandise Is just hats with bugs on it anyway You can't. I don't know what I would have bought merchandise. You could wear your own merchandise, but it's a delicate line. Yeah. Yeah. And plus, the merchandise is just hats with bugs on it anyway. So you already got a bunch. You got 25. That's a good point.

I don't think it's a good point. But listen, good old Gumfrey's recently divorced. So I'm going to need some souvenir sales for the alimony payments. I remember your wedding. It was a beautiful day. Oh, it was wonderful to have all of you there. Except for you, Juniper. Sorry I didn't invite you.

We were going through a rough patch. You know how it is. Probably the right call. I have a question. Why'd you get a divorce? Oh, geez. Are you serious? I don't know.

They said they were opening a Q&A. That's the question you asked? Well, you know, if I'm reflecting on it. I wanted to know him. Okay, fair. If I'm reflecting on it, I guess I'd have to say that my bare eyes started to stray. I might have been a party to some of this myself. It's a sad story, but I guess I could try to tell it if everybody's hearts are willing to break a bit.

Yeah, we'll make sure that we fill in any sort of details that you leave out. Okay, sure. Yeah, we remember all of it. Oh, well, it was a few years ago. I remember it well Well, I got married And she was the belle of the ball But then it just started to seem Like she wasn't true love at all

My eyes started abstraining And I decided to take a risk I realized I was more in love with all of my ticks. They lived on me and I started to find them appealing. So when it comes to affairs, I started wheeling and dealing. There's a little cabin in the woods and I arranged a romantic time. I made love to all of my ticks. They gave me a disease they call Lyme. He caught the love bug.

Oh, you know I did. He caught the love bug. Yeah, well, you know I did. He caught the love bug. And it hurt. Breaking his wife's little heart he was supposed to be thinking of. But he caught the love bug. It happens to everyone. He caught the love bug. Quite literally.

Oh, and he was falling in and out of love. Yeah, well, I remember when he went to the woman and he said, Hey, I got a thing I got to ask you. Is it possible we become Polly? Can we be Polly with bugs? Yeah, that's right. Would there be willingness to open things up? And she kicked you out, is that what?

Is that what? And chased you around the river, baby. Yeah. That's pretty accurate. She said she didn't want to be in a polycule with you and 300 ticks. And then she came back and said, how do you even make love to a

bug or a bear? Yeah. She had a lot of logistical questions. She wanted to see a chart. Yeah. She wanted to see a chart. Yeah. She wanted to see a chart. She made you draw it. You gotta have rules in those kind of non-traditional relationships or else they fall apart. Even I know that. Sure.

Well, then I decided to describe it a bit. Lay down here, my love. I'll show you how this works. You let them crawl all around your genitals. You'll see they're tender. They ain't jerks. I showed what tender lovers those ticks could be. But she walked on out the door.

She said, you're on your own now, you see. Oh, what a day. Oh, why don day. He got the love bug. Oh, why don't I do it? He got the love bug. Good day and a sad day. His wife said, no, thank you. Goodbye, please.

He got the love bug. 300 of them. He got the love bug. Kind of nice, though. She said, I hope you enjoy life with these fleas. Love bulb. But now I got 300 alimonies. Oh no. 301 if you count the wife number one.

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, life's been rough for good wife number one. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, life's been rough for good old Big Freak. What a heartbreaking tale. You know, I feel a little better getting it off my chest. And my chest is pretty big. I needed it off. It wasn't good. I did not expect.

Yeah, it was an excellent question. I'm relieved I wasn't eaten, but I feel like I unpacked something. You're speaking of good stories. Hey, heyulep. Yeah? Juniper. Juniper. Are they friends?

You're not talking to Juniper. Oh, are you talking to Julep, the fast-talking possum? That's right. Julep, aren't you sad? Oh, look at him. No, he came in. He's up on Juniper's head. Oh, everyone, I just got here.

I was running a little late. Sorry about that. Hey, Juniper. Yeah? Now, I was under the impression that you were out acquiring all sorts of nicks and nacks and wares and tares. Yeah, you know I like to go antique and I like to go yard sale and I like to go estate sale and I just hit them all up and I got so much

old crap in my house. Why don't you tell me all about your latest haul? Well, you wake up Saturday morning, show up in a yard, pass to buy their crap and they say we don't starve for three hours and I say

I'm here now. I'm here now. I'm here now. I'm here now. I'm here now, yeah. You go to an estate sale. You ask who died. They don't really want to talk about it.

They just want to sell that stuff. You ask it. You say I'm here now, I'm here now. I'm here now. I'm here now. And you ain't really for most of that crap anyway.

It was Bing Crosby's like, non-quad, you see. What'd you get? Oh, what did I get? Now, you see, eventually you go to these estate sales, you can talk them down.

You see, you can talk them down because you get so annoying they just want you to leave. Okay? So they were like, hey, I'm sorry, but that attache is $75 and I can't go a dollar lower. That attache, it's dinged up, it's holed up.

That attache is garbage. And I'm here now. And I'm here now. I got two dollars, I'll take it off your hands. Well, alright. You made it five points. You go to a church parking lot.

They're trying to sell some goods to better do more church. They want to do more church. What do you say? I'm here now. If you want to do church when the church wants church

and the church wants more church, church wants church and the church wants more church, church wants church, church wants more church, church wants more church. What do you say? What do you say? I don't know what you're saying. I'm here now. I'm here now. I don't care where you open.

What I care about is I'm here now. I'm here now. And you're here now, Julep, and we're happy you are. You've gotten that test sheet for $2? When it was originally listed as $75? My, what a deal. What a deal. That's that's right and little did they know i had gotten there many hours before that and scuffed it up myself oh julep oh you

fast talking possum what a what a swifter you are yeah i admire you for it i'll tell you what oh thanks that's wonderful yeah i just got to say that's a lovely ensemble and i've been trying to work on yeah i've been trying To work on Yeah I've been trying To work on my look too And what I'm carrying I was gonna say Rudy you look mighty fine Oh really

You think so Oh yeah You got like You part in your hair Different ways You got highlights And lowlights Extensions

Yeah I got a little I got a dickie on Like when An animal Oh yeah I love that Yeah Why wear the whole turtleneck Just wear the top Just wear the top Yeah I got a dickie on, like when an animal... Oh, yeah, I love that.

Yeah. Why wear the whole turtleneck? Just wear the top. Just wear the top, yeah. Now, this is a no-pants zone. Y'all may have been aware of that by looking at us. We like to wear... When it comes to accessorizing, look in the mirror and then take your pants off. Oh, yeah.

That's right. Now, do they mean us, too? Because we've kept our pants on. Take your pants off oh yeah that's right does now do they mean us too are we because we've kept took them off as soon as i sat down was i the only one jason i understood the coat some people take coats off i just you know yeah you wear those jason wears those heart boxers though i'm not really worried about this i've got a i to brag, but I have a lot of Mack Weldon. Hey, actually, we did ask for Mack Weldon, too, you guys. I think I got a lot of Mack. Did they send you stuff?

Yeah, we got sent stuff. Yeah, you got a code. You gotta redeem the code. Sometimes you forget. Oh, yeah, I know about that. It happens to us, too, on our podcast. That's a good point. We should probably now take a moment

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Firefly who? That's right. Firefly who? Oh, I'm so sad. Read the names of the people who died in the news. Hell yeah. Firefly who?

Oh my goodness. Firefly who? Won't it be sad when the rest of the Maritown horse show cast dies? There's only a few of us. There's only one of us left. There's only a few.

Few. Promo code bears. Alright, well. There's no way we're going to make it for that. No way. That was 90 seconds right on the note. Right on the note.

Precisely. You're a pro. Good enough time for a mid-roll if this were fine. Hey, y'all. I was thinking this. This is a very special audience. Maybe we should tell them. What do you think, Chrysanthemum Sue?

Maybe we should tell them. What are you thinking, Chrysanthemum Sue? Maybe we should tell them. What are you thinking, Chrysanthemum Sue? I'm about to say it. I'm about to say it. Maybe we should tell them. Maybe we should tell them what, Chrysanthemum Sue? Oh, turnip. Maybe we should tell them about all the special things we do to get ready for hibernation.

Oh, it's quite a time of the year. What should we tell them, Chrysanthemum? All the things we do to get ready for hibernation. Oh, it's quite a time of the year to shut down and just reflect. All the things we do to get ready for hibernation. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. We gather first. We put things together. We party so hard that we're ready to sleep it off.

That's right. It's a big old bender, that's for sure, because we know we party hard enough to sleep for three months after the fest. You don't want to wake up in the middle. That's when it's coldest and darkest. So you need to make sure you get fucked up. Yeah, I emptied this jug of the moonshot.

Oh, oh no, Juniper. Oh, yes. Yeah, you get the firefly hooch and you just drink till you're fucking sick. Can you give us a little bit of that jug, Juniper? Oh, sure. Yeah. I've been taking a master class from a guy named Little Jimmy Dickens Jr. And he's been teaching me how to jug.

I've been doing a few master classes. You got the subscription for all of them. I got the subscription. I'm learning about. At the price point, it makes more sense to just get a subscription, a master class. It does. Hillary Clinton's teaching me about grace. Play the joke.

Okay. Oh, wow. Doesn't that sound so sweet? Sounds real soulful-like. One thing's for sure, we can hear it real good. There you go. I've only watched the first one because I got obsessed with Bill Gates' one on being divorced. Now, here's the fun, Ms. Nomer.

I initially thought that when someone, and you told me this, Rodney, you originally told me that when someone is playing the jug, you would think that the tone is made by blowing air across the top of it perpendicularly. Well, what I did, I was looking at YouTube, and I learned that jug playing is sort of, you've got to make the noise with your mouth. It's more just humming into a jug.

Is it for the resonance? Yeah, it's more for the resonance. All right, someone has watched more than the first Master Class on jugs. Humming into the jug, Juniper. He bootlegged him properly. He stole him. See, you're not humming, you're just blowing. Jason, this is great.

Jason, you could learn from this. We've been trying to teach you how to do well with a jug the whole time. No, I'm not trying. He seems sick up there. Actually, you're better than him, maybe. You're much better than this bear. Yeah, the clear jug on stage. You see it's full of germs now.

It looks really gross. Yeah, it should probably be destroyed. It's an old bong. God, it's disgusting. Yeah, it's like full of germs now. It looks really gross. Yeah, it should probably be destroyed. It's an old bong. God, it's disgusting. It's like an old bong. The bear looks lightheaded. Oh, party's not a party till someone passes

out. From blowing on a jug too long about that there's no doubt. So we'll get tanks we'll drink all this firefly hooch and then we'll sleep all night snoozy snoozy snooze snoozy snooze

snoozy snooze I'd offer someone else the jug but it's covered in my spittle now so yeah the bears got covid too I guess I'm stuck with it. Yeah, the bear's got COVID, too. Yeah, but didn't you guys hear Grant Van Morrison last week? That doesn't exist.

It doesn't. It's not real. I'm just glad he's gone. The forest has gotten significantly less cantankerous somehow. Somehow a forest of bears is less cantankerous when Van Morrison leaves. Oh, that's true. I can't disagree with you there. A forest is less cantankerous when Van Morrison leaves.

And you can put that on a stitched pillow. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Oh, I'm hearing it a lot more now. Yeah, this is perfect. Oh, he's going to be sleeping for months, no problem. You're going to miss the entire winter at this rate.

Oh, play that. Sounds so nice. What a sweet sound. He's like he's kissing the jug, isn't he? Oh, you know, we should throw that in there, too. Oh, a party's not a party until someone passes out. From putting too much air across the jug, and that's without a doubt.

So you hear that dulcet tone, and you know that it's about time For the party to keep partying on So you feel alive This guy is turning white He's looking such a fright I think he'll be asleep in no time What should this rhyme be? He's like he's trying to navigate The difficulty of both blowing air out and also humming at the same time.

Sure, nice. His fur did turn white now. He looks like a polar bear. That's what polar bears are. Polar bears are just brown bears that have been playing the jug for too long. Oh my gosh, I didn't know that. Did you know that? And then we exile him to the frozen north and south.

We send him out with just one Coca-Cola. Gosh, I didn't know that. Did you know that? And then we exile him to the frozen north and south. That's so cool. We send him out with just one Coca-Cola. Hey, y'all, if you want a Coca-Cola, you can go get one and get merch at the same time. Van Morrison, you take one more step to my honey and you getting the knife. Oh, he's back. Sorry, he's all right. He's fine. Not quite polar yet.

But, you know, we got to finish the show first. We can't. You know, we're all going to turn polar by the end eventually. But not before we close this thing out strong. Hey, y'all. Why don't we go to the audience and see what their favorite of our famous songs is? Yeah. And make sure to pick right.

If you don't pick right, we're going to eat you. Oh, my God. They are really looking at us. Wow. Like, really giving us an eye. Oh, the security guard. We're gonna eat you. They are really looking at us. Really giving us an eye. Oh, they're bad. Okay. What kind of... They probably have to do with a hoedown.

A nanny might be in there. Yeah, but that's right. I think one of my favorite songs of theirs is called Tin Can Pool. Tin Can Pool? Is it like the game or like a swimming pool? I think it's a swimming pool tin can tin can pool is it like the game or the or like a swimming pool i think the swimming pool full of tin cans oh we like uh we like um you know they were all great we loved all of them but i think my favorite wisely i think it's got to be tin tin good choice we were pausing to make sure you weren't pulling our chain

on spotify our number one track by a long shot of tin can pool y'all are real fans that's this goes out to all you real ones out there on Stump. Find four of the real ones on Stump. Hot summer day. Your fur is feeling hot and fiery. Oh, there's one thing to do that is so inspiring. You're gonna go on down to the swimming hole, but

the swimming hole's all gone. Oh, it's okay. I got something you could get swimming on. Tink and pool. Tink and pool. Tink and pool. Tink and pool. The metal's sharp and also it is cool.

Tink and pool. Tink and pool. Tink and pool. You'll cut yourself, but da-ma-ga-ma-ga-ma, it is cool. Oh, yes, you all are sitting out there The real ones on the stumps I know you might be thinking Oh, are you talking about a dump?

Is this just a landfill? Or is it a trash can? Well, I say no, thank you You do not understand And sometimes all the tin cans They get taken away And so we fill the swimming hole right up with razor blades. And that's what we gotta do sometimes, although it is less cool.

Won't you come and take a dip in this razor-bladed pool? Razor-bladed pool. Razor-bladed pool. It cuts deep, but it's cool. Razor-bladed's cool Razorblade rule Razorblade rule Ouch! The water ends up pretty hot

You're gonna need a tetanus shot But sometimes, though it hurts to say You show up at the swimming hall But there's no razorblade Oh no! What's there instead? Well, you are in luck. It's just the headless bodies of a bunch of

undead ducks. Undead ducks! Undead ducks! Necromantic arts have risen, ducks! Undead ducks! Undead ducks! I'm pretty scared of what's in this pool. Turns out ducks can be zombies too.

My baby bear, he tried to learn to swim. He was having a big problem when ducks were biting him. He wanted to learn, so I said, stay in there. You don't get out now. I paid for these lessons. You take those bites or I'm not getting my money back. You can't pool. Yeah.

Dude, you can't pool. You can't pool. Oh, you can't pool. Oh, hey, everybody. Thanks for coming to our celebration. Now we're getting time for a hibernation. I'm far off on sleep reading, but it's in my head anyway. It's full of bugs

anyhow. Check us out, Jugman! Turn one. Check us out, Jugman! Turn one. Juniper done turn polar. Turn and polar. Oh, folks. I guess we're heading for the end of it.

Oh, starting to teeter a little bit here. Oh, God. They're going to stumble off the stage. We should back up. Yeah, they might fall on us. We might be stuck here for three months. No, no, no. Just get out. Follow me, follow me, follow me.

Okay, okay, okay. Does anyone want to get their stump signed? What? They're asleep. We have to get out of here. This is our chance right now. Okay. Maybe ask the possum?

Does anyone see my pants? My Matt Weldons. Juniper's wearing your pants. Jason, grab the jug. Oh, okay. Cover up with that. He's asleep. Let's go.

Is this a trade? Okay. Yeah. It's glass, but it's a little foggy. People won't be able to see it down there It's better than pants I'm going to hide behind the joke Okay you'll be fine

So quietly don't creak Don't creak Okay I liked it I liked that a lot I felt scared More often than I thought I would They made a point of saying it.

The big, you guys said the bears are safe. Yeah. I guess that was an assumption. I was making one of them straight up, had two knives and a gun and you're still kind of bleeding. I mean, those security bears gave you sweet kisses,

but Oh yeah. I got a, I got a white shirt and it is a, the, the red is steadily spreading here. I guess that's a pretty cool It was such a fun hang. Such a fun hang.

It's so nice when podcasts get together. I just feel like I'm glad that was just for us. You know? Yeah. Does everything have to be content? Why does everything have to be content? Why can't you just hang out with your friends and witness like a horror show? Yeah! Tell you what i'm

adding tin can pool to my spotify playlist right now uh i think we all are yeah yeah when you go from tin cans to razor blades i say short then you go to undead ducks well now i'm a fan for life wow unexpected turns in those songs i don't i don't know if it was just them being sleepy that made me sleepy or if it's the blood leaving my chest. I might just like lay down here outside the cabin for a little bit. Is Scott always this white? No, I think Scott's turning polar. No, this is me.

No, I think he's bleeding. I don't get tans very well. Let's send him to the North Pole with a Coke. Oh, just one Coke Cola. Yeah. That sounds really nice. Those bears in those commercials look so happy. Good night, Scott.

Good night, Scott. I love you, guys. Guys, Van Morrison's here coming through the woods. Oh, God. He's still selling cassettes? I'm worried about... I am worried, too. I'm more scared of him.

I don't want to be part of this interaction. But you know what? It was a marvelous night for a moon dance. Remember when Scott danced with a bear? Yeah. Yeah. You did the dirty dancing thing. That was cute. He's fine, right?

Yeah. How do we get our phones out of the bear bag they put? Those are gone. I think I saw Julep the possum take off with them. Oh, because he can climb up to the high tree and get, okay. Apple backups. I got burners if you need anything oh man oh

no we're good no we're good we're actually good just walked into the woods i know that there wasn't like a longer q a but i wish i could ask the possum what he's gonna do with an attache oh i assume resale good point yeah refer yeah flip it flip that take that thing down to like uh sunset uh sunset vintage yeah sure do you guys want to keep hanging you want to maybe hit up like uh margaritaville yeah maybe let's like record it this time yeah okay that's a good idea yeah i i wouldn't want to if i was a fan of either of shows i wouldn't want to hear that i would want to hear us hang a margarita yeah

yeah I think that's right Margaritaville Forest which is the one over here yeah yeah they don't require masks there la da da da oh man

alright fan hey that was Scott Passarelli give it up Scott Passarelli is on the keys we got Brett Morris on guitar and banjo. We also had Scott on bass. We got Dana on percussion.

Dana Wiggins on percussion. I'll say this from the off-book side of things. And this is, you can check out off-book, the Improvised Musical Podcast. That's that, man. The same place that you can also, that's Jessica McKenna, the same place that you can also check out

our friends and extremely recent collaborators, kind of the same place that you can also check out our friends and uh extremely recent collaborators podcast the ride hey thank you guys so much you survived podcast the ride from the podcast the ride side of things and i guess i did too we survived a country bear jamboree together uh i was about to usually we say what would you like to plug but you just did so we're already you know that that's covered and this is confusing Being in two podcasts at once How does it work Yeah so if you're listening

On the off book side We're just completing A country bear week Of content There's no like We don't do fun songs But we talk about For hours

The history of the Disney country bear Yeah if you like Fun songs Don't listen To the rest of the week Because it was like Three hours At a time of talking about Country Bear Jamborees. But if that does sound good to you, yeah, check out Podcast The Ride.

And you're listening right now, if you're learning on our feed, this is the final main feed of 2021. And thank you. You all survived 2021. You all survived the Country Bear Jamboree week. There's maybe one little treat coming for you over on the Grizzly gate um but thanks for sticking with us through it through a crazy year and thanks uh zach and justin everybody for closing us out right our pleasure and if you're listening to this in the podcast right side that is basically what every episode of our show is like a lot of bears a lot of bears yeah it's all country all country country. Thank you for, for inviting us into,

uh, your country bear jammer week. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, um, it's, uh, an esteemed,

uh, place to be. I think, um, everyone, uh, stay out there in those woods. And if you see Van Morrison coming,

turn the other way, turn the other way. Do not buy one of those burners. Bye. Bye. Forever. Dog. Bye Bye Forever Dog This has been a Forever Dog production Executive produced by Mike Carlson

Jason Sheridan Scott Gairdner Brett Boehm Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey For more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows

on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.