Podcast: The Ride - Ark Encounter

Episode Date: April 2, 2021

We take a look at the Ark Encounter. A massive recreation of Noah's Ark in Kentucky that is run by a massive creep. DisneylandForward episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! Warning, said the Lord to uncharismatic creationist Ken Ham. Thou must recreate-eth Noah's Ark in Kentucky, and make it full of dinosaurs, depressed animatronics doing chores, and unlimited soda refills. If thou'st faileth, the earth shall be smoten. And lo, Ken built

this Ark, and it was bad. Today, the Ark Encounter, on a special Easter podcast The Ride. A most mournful Good Friday to everyone. Welcome to Podcast The Ride, a show hosted by three very good men, much like Noah's sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. We're the Shem, Ham, and Japheth of podcasting. I'm the Shem, Scott Gairdner. I guess, I don't know, well, Japheth is closest to Jason, so Jason is Japheth.

You know, I thought I was a given for ham, but I guess... Oh, what am I saying? It was right there. We've been doing this podcast for years now and you didn't? That's the lowest hanging fruit I've ever heard. That's a good ham. There's an evil ham

today that's going to come up a lot. Oh, that's right. Maybe you don't want to be associated with ham. But that's a lot oh that's right yeah maybe you don't want to be associated with ham but that's the easter that's the traditional like you know easter easter feast you know yeah well in two days all of us will want to be associated with ham as much as possible including mike carlson who i guess it has shifted to jay beth am J-Peth, but I like to think of myself as a ham. I know we're three Cliffords, and our listeners are all Cliffords, but for this episode, we're three hams.

They love it. I think three hams, and our listeners will be known as hams, just for this week, this holy week. That's fine to me. Whatever definition you want to take, but maybe yes, maybe not a ham in the way we're certainly not related to Ken Ham, the guy who figured out the evil waltz of today's park. Just to be clear before we get into it, this is the beginning of Easter weekend.

And last year we kind of started a tradition of talking about religious theme parks uh last year we talked about orlando's very bizarre holy land experience a place where there are crucifixions on the daily um and and i i didn't know if it could get more bizarre or or maybe more uh contemptible contemptible is the word that i have written down multiple times. I stole that from you. You said that before we started recording and I really liked the word and it's a correct word. That's the Ark Encounter, a place where you can see Noah's Ark in the exact proportions that it was built in noah's time which as we learn from all this was uh what like

four thousand years ago a couple years ago really yeah it was like right before like pilgrim times this definitely didn't happen in a well no maybe it did happen in america i'm not sure where that lands in the this whole in the whole creationist mythos. Maybe Noah's Ark actually did happen in Kentucky. Oh, yes. That's a very good chance. There's a lot of... I kept writing down the word retcon in my notes while watching interviews with Ken.

For just a little context, I'm sure we talked last year. I had virtually no religious teaching as a youth. Jason is similar, yes? Is that correct? No, we went to church most Sundays. We went to a very chill Protestant church, although it was Presbyterian, and there's some kooky branches of Presbyterianism, i a lot of it going back to uh i think the

origins of calvinism which is i believe the idea that when you are born it's already predetermined whether you are good or bad and i didn't get any of that shit i got like what the simpsons got you know oh okay church oh um so so that's okay yeah simpson stuff seems like yeah simpson seemed like uh a pretty like passable you know that's a kind of religious you you could be and be fine yeah i mean the thing that i always bring up when i talk about it is like a lot of pastors who would start a sermon by trying to be relatable to the crowd of like, you know, I was at the mall this week and I saw a group of teens goofing around and that reminded me of the apostles.

You know, they would just make very tenuous connections. I was watching America's Funniest Home Videos. So pretty harmless stuff, but I know a lot of people who have the worst, much worse stories. In some ways, the original biker mice from Mars were the three wise men. Now, that's a pastor who really studied TV Guide. He actually did the deep dive.

Yeah, he wanted to really relate to the kids. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, we would go once in a while to church and but i i didn't go to any sort of religious school i vague i knew probably religion most from the simpsons and the things um yeah oh wow wow that's an interesting context for it scott you were in the mix and scott was completely yes raised hardcore catholic which again on the scale of things is is not the hardest of core that there could be. And all this was making me flash back to what did creep me out when I would come across

it, because there's not enough, like, I was pretty comfortable with Catholicism, but then you were always right around the corner from ickier stuff. And there's not enough full Catholic media to avoid the ickier stuff. Like, you'd catch little glimpses of it. My parents would do their best to say, well, that's not really what we believe, which I appreciated, because boy, as we'll find today,

there is some big-time icky stuff. The other thing that I was flashing back to was that, yeah, I was full Catholic for not my elementary school but my middle school and my high school so a lot of catholicism in the education including that my uh high school theater program uh which joe rody is a graduate from. He got his start painting sets for the school I eventually went to. We did, and I say we, I wasn't really part of it. I was the crew that filmed the play.

And there was a play that was done called Noah. And you maybe don't know the play Noah, and that is because it was written by the theater director of my high school this was an original production um and like a big long play with lots of numbers and you know the way they have to cast that stuff jason you know this where it's like all right we need uh 90 parts because we gotta fit everybody in so this was a massive sprawling production where you aren't even on the arc until act two like you have to go through the creation of man god is a character in the show and you have to see first sin and a song by a sexy snake who's in like pleather pants in sort of like britney era early 2000s uh uh it was he was seducing man

um but when in just in thinking about noah's ark i was flashing back to my fondness for noah which really was an incredible production and which i wish made it past my high school and was something that all high schools had to do um especially because uh there you know um you know what wasn't on noah's ark were animals that are made up like unicorns unicorns not on the ark and this is addressed in my high school play because there's a song where um the unicorns are late. They didn't get to the ark on time because the wife unicorn was fiddling around with chores at home. The husband was there on time.

Women love to sacrifice their own well-being to do chore? Yeah. Even in the face of the biblical flood, of the big flood, the woman, the wife is still like tidying things and they address this in the scene. Where were you? I was straightening up at home, but the flood is coming. I don't know. Habit, I guess. Where is the ark?

The ark has left already. What? And then it's, I would post this if I didn't want to, like, embarrass the people I don't know who are in the production. But I have tapes of it because I filmed it. I was media crew. Yeah. So there's this incredible song. And boy, I would love The Ark Encounter more if there was something as creative as this on it um this great song where the character of god's favorite dove swoops down and sees how sad it is that the unicorns miss their chance to be in the ark and get saved so she has a new plan and the plan is to make them live in the realm of imagination where it's bet like here you will be in our dreams you may not get to thrive and

reproduce but you'll be you'll be in the hearts of man forever which is conveyed in a song that is mainly ripped off from lucy in the sky with diamonds that even has lines about tangerine sunsets and stuff like that and then it's a dance done by two human unicorns with like big plastic horns glued to their heads oh my goodness and you can't just blur all these people out and post this for us um it would take a while this would this would be a process maybe yeah yeah i don't know if i could get it to a post studio um what what i can do is recite from memory the thing that the dove says at the end of the when it's time to like do our part for the unicorns let me make sure i think i i think i knew i because this is this was in 2001 and it's still burning in my brain so let me let me just

see if i can do this um okay uh angel friends come now it's time from the floodwaters they must climb uh this is a part i don't remember very well um uh from this realm they must depart lift them high high up in the human heart place them in their destination in the realm of imagination and then the song is like you'll be always and forever till all the stars have been wished away um and then some psychedelic stuff that's the wow i know this so i've thought about this like non-stop since it was 20 years ago at this point that almost sounds like uh Phil Collins Hercules soundtrack. Yeah. Or Tarzan, you mean.

Yeah, I'm so sorry. That's, yeah, excuse me. A little bit. Well, it's that like son of man. There is that grandeur to it. Yeah. I feel like if only Rhodey had still been around, if he was still checking out the alma mater, maybe he could have seen it and then got it made in the park.

This would have been a shoo- i think for animal kingdom no alive right after tarzan's done there had to have been i mean obviously they want to disney wants everything to be very secular but what a great idea well disney they did noah in they've done noah actually several times they did noah in fantasia 2000 where the animals marched to the graduation theme, which was distracting to everyone. And did you know that there was a Tony Danza modern version of Noah done by Disney for the wonderful world of Disney in the late 90s? Oh my God.

This is unfindable. There's not even clips on YouTube. No one has bothered to archive this wow it's like only barely there that a record even exists much like biblical texts it's gotten erased to the sands of time and mike uh the angel who uh tells tony he needs to be a modern carpenter that he needs to build an ark wallace sean is the angel in this yes yes how does nobody know this for it being a as a as an angel named zach wallace sean is the angel zach how how did you come upon this then or did you see it when i saw it in a dream god himself spoke to me wow

no i don't know i was just looking up like depictions of noah and there besides the weird there was a like a was it aronofsky yeah aronofsky and evan almighty obviously crow yeah i by the way this arc experience taught me i think evan almighty lied to me about some of this stuff you know it wasn't a funny weatherman. I hate being betrayed by Evan in Evan Almighty. That's wild. I mean, I guess Noah, I mean, I knew the story of Noah. That actually, I think, I guess, as I was saying that, has kind of been secularized to some degree.

I mean, you leave out all the other, like, I mean, God tells Noah what to do. But other than that, as a kid kid it's just like oh there was a lot of water and he saved all the animals like that story is fine like you don't have to nothing terribly and you and we'd grow up watching i think you could be non-religious and end up seeing the ten commandments or even some amount of jesus stuff even disney made jesus so there's a thing about the called small one about the donkey who's there in the nativity yes so like disney made jesus stuff there's a thing about the called small one about the donkey who's there in the nativity yes so like disney wouldn't avoid it i think today they would but 80s 90s

they'd still go there and i think people who even aren't religious can acknowledge like there's some good stories there's a reason these are like inspirational stories creationist stories um but then sometimes they take a little bit of a wrong turn look i my feeling with a religion i take the kevin smith dogma approach i happy everyone believe what they want to believe as long as it's not like you're not starting a war you're discriminating against people like that sucks that stuff sucks yeah I don't disparage anyone their faith but young earth creationism uh get the fuck out of here man get

out of here with that shit like and the fact that you are trying to this place the ark encounter is trying to use it as like elementary school kids come learn the real truth like I feel like that is such a fine there's a real slippery slope from the earth is 6 000 to 10 000 years old to the vaccines got 5g chips and donald trump

gonna be president in august anyway you know this is exactly what i was leading into this yeah i think what you know in considering my religious upbringing and what i object to about it and this was not my parents you know there was no trickery going on with my parents but you'd run into trickery you'd run into like here this is a nice thing we're gonna tell you about and then it's fire and brimstone it's something even crazier than fire and brimstone uh i was recalling a thing where my mom seeing that i was getting into cds found me a magazine called breakaway magazine and this was a cool magazine there's a surfer on the front you know like i like and she gave it to me and said this is for young people this is there's actually they talk about some of the albums you listen to i thought oh no kidding well then i must check this out this magazine and there was there was in fact a review

of the beastie boys hello nasty potentially my favorite album at the time uh which um just throws the whole thing under the bus because of the one line i be smoking roaches in the vestibule so therefore the beastie boys are damned for all eternity how dare they befell vestibules um but then i kept going then i'd like well what that well i this isn't i don't want to read about why my album is bad what's this thing who made breakaway magazine focus on the family there it is james dob say yeah and you know that that's like that i can't remember the specifics about but that's like that's horrible hateful bigoted like an awful organization that guy and the catholic league if you remember the offshoot of the catholic church the catholic league who i think pretty much the catholic church washed their

hands of a long time ago that was the guy who was most mad at things like uh dogma or um any popular culture after like 1950 you know yeah yes yeah did did i say last time we talked about religious stuff how much i remember uh it wasn't my church but i go on a vacation and then the other church we didn't go to the this the preachers just completely upset about dogma uh and about um maybe the movie kids i remember that wasn't the same year but i remember a sermon about kids i remember a sermon about powder powder powder yeah something wrong with powder i don't remember why i think powder's a creepy movie supernatural phenomenon right like he's got some powers but they're not necessarily from god did he have a problem with john travolta's

phenomenon um i know i think phenomenon's and wait no phenomenon is michael is the angel john oh okay but phenomenon supernatural stuff where he like makes a spoon like yeah phenomenon is not michael phenomenon is not michael michael and michael is not powder michael and neither of them are kpax neither of them are kpax neither of them are kpax no what could be i was saying before we started recording that it's a very funny week to be doing this episode because we're coming off like the satanic panic of the lil nas x montero music video where he uh grinds on and then murders satan and takes his crown uh and there's like a sneaker uh sneaker customizer doing a limited run of like these sneakers each have a single drop of human blood in it and every maniac

right wing swab came out of the woodwork to just be like I stand on guard I stand on guard against you and the devil and meanwhile Lil Nas X is just having the time of his life giving them the business and being like here's the storyboards we made I

use the screen grab of Spongebob and Patrick to inspire this like he's just just having a ball and while every weirdo freak hung over from the Trump administration is just like worried about

the devil silent on multiple shootings in the country but this video that's like the South Park movie. Yeah, like Halloween Horror Nights makeup. I've hit miniature golf balls into more realistic demon's mouths.

And it's fun. He's having fun. The guy's having fun. I gotta watch this video. I'm not in the age range to where I should be, like, I'm not watching a lot of Lil Nas X, but boy, it seems like he's having a blast. Just everything. Dancing around with those kindergartners, all singing the song with him.

He's just, he's having the time of his life. Yeah. Well, yeah, still this kind of thing. But while Satan is an ongoing issue and fear, you might not realize the biggest issue, which is all of us thinking that the Earth is more than 6,000 years old, which is apparently the primate we've all been indoctrinated. I assume most listeners to this show, maybe you think that the Earth is very young. I'm not sure. If so, if you're a young Earth creationist, then maybe you already stopped listening after Jason said to fuck yourself. Yeah, get out of here. Probably stop listening now.

That's what this whole thing comes from. And now I didn't know any of this going into it. I think maybe a couple of listeners had this ark encounter thing is funny um and i you know you gotta assume that if something has a lot of money and a theme park gets made that it's probably a little more fundamentalist but i did not know the whole agenda here um i'd maybe heard of ken ham in passing but i'd never married all this and now i know how it all works and maybe i wish i didn't yeah it's yeah it i was hoping that when we did this it was going to be like and this is a big boat and here's the like most dry basic like and then he put all the animals on and there you go

isn't it fun to see the little robot animals and it's a lot more it's a lot more uh what is the word i'm looking for here i kept thinking about like loaded sacrilegious oh yeah uh like you know how like they were so obsessed uh with star wars galaxy's edge with Batuu about the narrative and making sure everything fits and timeline and whatever that is, it's that times 10 only with real world implications. Yeah. Yeah. And if you deny one ounce of this, then you burn for all eternity. Right. But also they can make up whatever crap they want.

But also, yes, that's also a part of it as well. Yeah. Yeah. And they can get tax breaks from the county and state yeah which happened came up with the Holy Land experience too this is a good way to get Disney might want to consider getting more religious because they're proposing all this new stuff across the street

we talked about it on the Patreon and if some of it was religious maybe i definitely orange county would pay for it there's a crystal cathedral down the five that's a good point i think they'd be psyched for some a disney religious park i think you know if if at this point disney is its own religion and a lot of this anger that people have had historically over religion, I think has moved into places like Disney or Star Wars The Last Jedi. I think it's a different, it's moving there.

That's where we're headed, I think. I think you're right. Yeah, well, because the tales everyone grew up reading are less and less the tale of Shem, Ham, and Japheth and more, you know, Iron Man and Black Widow and what have you. Yeah, Methhuselah died at age 969 uh i i learned that on the sign outside but like how old was seg l superman's grandfather when he died like we should know this these are all the same we're all playing in the same ballpark here

it's just again these characters have real world implications yeah yeah i almost think the holy land experience is a little better because not better that's not the word um less less egregious yeah less egregious because it's just like this is what it was like back that this is what the bible talks I mean, I'm sure there was some weird stuff there. But yeah, there's a lot more like hook them while they're young stuff at the Ark Encounter. Where it was like prosperity gospel, like grifters. Maybe I'm just, I have a soft spot for that because that's a very American con. That's like a very American to con people out of their money with the promise of like snake oil and like good luck

or whatever is very American yeah yeah yeah we've sort of we've said so they built this giant arc he built this giant like I guess accurate maybe to a scale well the cubit

exactly the cubit yeah they had to choose which cubit which version of cubit and then they settled on cubits aren't even the same i right well yeah no it's not it's not clear depending on which book you're reading or whatever i saw it it was 611 miles of wooden boards used where if you laid them all out they would go from Kentucky to Philadelphia yes and it's like in some parts it's seven stories tall some parts it's five stories tall yeah

one and a half football fields wide I believe is what Mr. Ham said yeah and divided into three levels inside with different I hesitate to use the word exhibits but I can't think of a better word well almost close cubbies cubbies of um propaganda even propaganda feels too uh well

sculpture cages there's cages where sculptures have to live. Some of what caught my eye, and probably a lot of people's about all this, was the headline from Vice. As with the Holy Land experience, these things exist for Vice people to go and be mad at. And which, hey, thank you guys for going so we don't have to. Their headline, this $100 million Noah's Ark theme park is a boring homophobic mess. So sounds great. Sounds like a blast. And did we not say Williamstown, Kentucky, which is probably the closest major city is Cincinnati, Ohio. And if you're looking it up on a map, it's on one Ark Encounter Drive.

That's how you know you one arc and counter drive. Oh, that's how you know you got a lot of money. Yeah. When you get the street named after what your themed attraction is, it's like, okay, you either spend some money or the state gave you a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, um, we did. Yeah. Um, the, uh, so the, the man behind this, the, the, uh, uh, uh, Bizarro, uh, John Hammond, I guess, uh, is, uh, is Ken Ham, a little bit of the name in there too.

Um, Ken Ham is an extremely vocal creationist. And what is creationism? Well, I mean, his specific thing is that it's very anti-evolution, first of all, and that is because he is a Bible literalist. He is the kind of Christianity, and this is almost the hardest core in a way where every bit of the bible is exactly true and especially the book of genesis which is the the formation of the world and man and everything and his organization is called answers in genesis so it seems like a lot of it's almost like mainly those first couple books he is just down to the word all of this is exactly true which has a bunch of implications one of them being that the earth is only 6 000 years old and why because there's no date in there well it's because there's all of the so-and-so baguette so-and-so so-and-so baguette so-and-so so from

that um they're able to determine how far back it goes. And this takes you to Noah and this takes you to Jesus Christ. But it's all bizarre because that ends you up with, yeah, a bunch of people who are like 500 years old or 900 years old. Yeah. So why did people stop being 900 years old? Do we have an answer for that? There's a lot of tenuous justifications. Like Mike said, retcons, where it's like, okay, so after the flood,

everyone stopped being thousands of years old. And now they're just hundreds of years old. And course the tower of babel splintered language and that's why we all speak different languages and and there's a lot of this stuff and it it i asked my dad my dad went to catholic school too and i was like did you encounter a lot of this like sort of literalism in school he's like no his teachers were all mostly like jesuit priests like the keepers of knowledge or people from the neighborhood and like he told me about one teacher who's like if you believe everything in the bible happened literally you are an asshole like like that's the education he got like like you you got to be a little blunt to get people's attention in Northeast Philadelphia.

So, you know, they were pushing like this is to inspire you. This is to teach you to be a good person, teach you the lesson. Like you're not supposed to track this exactly literally. Yeah, it would be like tracking Batman's 80 year history and going, OK, this all did happen to one man. And I know all of it and it's in here and I can explain it to you and I can explain it to you how it works. Like any sort of long, not thought out as far as being a giant piece of like multi-year entertainment was committed completely to memory. And you couldn't deviate from it ever. Like that's watching videos of ken ham walking through

here which i've watched several at this point he has it's it's cool it's funnier than any like comic book nerd you've ever heard talk about anything he likes or any any different piece of trivia like he knows exactly how to justify and some of it seems like maybe he's just bullshitting in the moment because he hasn't figured out like it's impossible to justify everything as being truly or everything that truly happened but he's did everybody watch bill nye walk through the arc with him no no i know this exists and i think this is why ken i think ken ham is what is well-known because of these two Bill Nye debates that he has done. I think Bill Nye seemingly on the opposite side, wanting to challenge him, completely raised the profile of Ken Ham. Yes, and that's maybe not a good thing.

And I think on this show, I've once in a while been critical that I'll watch Bill Nye and I go, I don't know that he knows that much about what he's talking about. He just has like seemingly a basic information, basic knowledge. But Ken Ham apparently was a science teacher, which is funny, which is very funny. So weird. They had some sort of debate. I did not watch that. They had some sort of creationist versus science debate. But then years later, Bill Nye came to the ark and walks

it's a like a two-hour video a walking debate they call it a walking debate and bill nye is just upset the whole he's perturbed from the get-go uh and ken ham is like he's a he's a soft-spoken english english gentleman i believe right australian australian excuse me can i read a quote about him from for context i this a credit to the reporter which this is the atlantic i believe uh ham is australian a rare a rare sort of australian in that he is religiously devout and completely humorless that really good like sums up the vibe. Because, boy, this is a dry, just, like, non, like, doesn't project. Does it, like, isn't, like, giving you the bit. You know, if he's the Walt of this place, they need, I think, maybe somebody with some higher energy to be a hype man.

Because this is a very sleepy Walt to be their Walt. He's, like, dead inside. He's, like, he's like dead inside he's just truly like bill so like there's show bill nye is looking at something that says that the earth is 6 000 years old and something about glaciers and he's like he's like how do you know this why why do you think this what what is the justification for and he's like oh you just come here to be upset let's just talk like let's talk and he's like just like even keeled and building it's just like i don't understand this he's like well how would you know how old ice is oh how would you know how old ice is he goes he goes is it dated and he goes yes it is dated you

can look at it you look at molecules you can look there's a way to tell and it's just he's like from the get-go very upset with him uh and it's very funny. Honestly, I was enjoying it. I need to watch the rest of it. It's like two hours long. I saw him saying that there are, obviously the entire arc is fraught with errors, but he said the third floor has not one correct fact anywhere. It's not a drop.

My favorite part is I zoomed to the middle, and there's a part where people start gathering and like ganging up on Bill Nye. And it's just people are like, hey, do you have a soul? Do you think you have a soul to Bill Nye? And he's like, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't. And then finally, Mr. Ham, Ken Ham, he just goes, he goes, okay, so you

he goes, you believe that when you die that nothing, nothing will happen? There's nothing after that? And Bill Nye goes, yeah, that's what I believe. He goes, okay, well what do you care then? What do you care that we're doing this? Like, it's just literally like he hits his breaking point where he's like, just give us

our fun. Who cares? Like, that's ultimately where Ken Ham's argument ends up. Where it's just like, just let us our fun what who cares like that's his that's ultimately where ken ham's argument ends up where it's just like just let us do this why are you mad at us i mean he that there's like a kernel of truth there and it was like yeah it was just a private experience for you and your weird little creep friends but then this guy is like you know started getting heat from politicians of like you're not inviting. Are you encouraging elementary schools to come to this?

And he's like, yes, elementary schools should come to this. And it's like, OK, no, no, stop it right now. That's a good line. Yeah, it's starting to regard it as a museum, especially because here's one that I was deep on the website for the ark encounter i found the tab overnight adventures looking for the perfect group adventure or youth retreat spend a night aboard noah's ark this behind the scenes opportunity is especially popular with youth groups in christian schools so not only inviting children but inviting children to spend the night spending spend a night in the ark noah did 40 why can't you do one and also the the ark kind of sucks so who

cares like that's not even that fun completely sucks like it's really drab in there really boring in there the there's some like yes static animals and a few robots but like i could see a situation where like you know it was one of the most hateful places but i'd go well at least the animatronics are good you know at least yes right um yeah uh which if that was the case then uh yeah sure and you go and you laugh but hey they put on a good little show but this is different here and let me just jump somewhere into the middle of the park to to help make this point um you guys might have seen this that there is something you know we're saying that it's drab well it's not drab over in the part fairy tale arc it's fairy tale arc this is what you imagine noah's ark to be like it's this big molded plastic sign with a bunch of really friendly

elephants and monkeys and giraffes all poking out of various corners in the top of the ark. And this is the Noah's Ark we remember from cartoons and from books. And you look inside, and it's a children's library. And it's a bunch of Noah's Ark books in there. It's all kinds of little pieces of literature that tell the tale of Noah. But it turns out that once you actually go under this friendly cartoon Toontown sign, that it's just a thing saying all of these books are evil because they don't show the reality.

Noah's Ark was not fun. It was arduous. And these cartoon elephants and giraffes they undermine uh this this seriousness of the oh geez jason oh this is what you've pulled up the seven d's of deception one of them deceptively cute discrediting the truth this is you've shown us like this is for two-year-olds this is an even more simple cartoon this is there's like a babar on there like really simple cute birds and giraffes who could hate this drawing i guess ken ham could hate the drug i mean how confusing so it's like cute animals and stuff no not cute animals that's No, don't make it palatable and understandable for children.

Make them stare at this plaque that says, why does a loving God allow so much death and suffering? Now that's a cool field trip. Yeah, what parents? You'd want to think that there's a lot of parents who went to this, were imagining a fun cartoon thing that kids might like, and were upset at what they found. I would hope that there are parents who agree with all this and went and said, this sucks. And Mike, you brought up the thing that has not come up yet.

Because it seems to me that with taking Genesis literally and all of this bizarre this bizarre all right so people were 700 years old yeah that's right and ice is only 6 000 okay sounds good that all of this bizarre pretzel logic seems at the end of the day to all be supporting an anti-lgbtq bigotry. And why, why is that the case? I guess because in Genesis, like I've never understood why the Bible is anti, it feels like there's like four things in the entire big thick Bible that you could maybe construe, but not really as being that bitch can only be men and women. Like it's such a stretch to me to still like go further and say that it's

anti-homosexuality. But this whole thing seems to be about, okay, so if we say that there were dinosaurs on the ark, maybe that'll teach some kids that they shouldn't kiss a boy. Well, and it goes back to different versions like interpretations of different versions of the bible because like there's there's something there's a line of like do not lie with another man but like earlier editions earlier translations say like do not lie with a child yes yeah that's good yeah use that use that phrase like focus on that one yeah don't do that for sure wait that was the same thing one change to the other it's just there's so many of changes

like that there's so much like uh uh from generation to generation yeah almost like people use it to scapegoat yeah for sure so do you mean like the thing that they actually think themselves that they use this big complicated well if you look in the book sometimes it's that sometimes it's just they want to raise some uh some millions of dollars for their shitty church i mean there's a lot of shitty little grifts yeah they're shitty they're they're bad pseudo theme parks. So let's because almost I'm not sure that we even justified why we're talking about it on the show. But like as far as I knew before we started looking into it, you know, I figured there wasn't much more than the Ark.

But I definitely saw it quickly being described as a religious theme park. This is a theme park centered around noah's arc but then you start looking and like i don't know is it i don't think it is i think there are plans to make it more that have not really come to fruition like in theory the arc is just the beginning but um i like it's just supposed to be part of a campus. But, yeah, I don't know. I think they have stopped way short of it being an actual theme park. Yeah. I mean, there's a VR experience that exists.

Yes. Now, I was going to build to the VR experience. I apologize. But I'm tempted to talk about the VR experience right now in order to get us on more fun ground. Okay. Because the VR experience is something. And this does make it more of a theme park. Right.

That's the closest thing you can point to, I guess, for it being sort of a themed park. They do have annual passes. I checked. Oh. You can get a family. You can go to this more than... Anyone would want to do this more than once?

You can get... I think your entire family, you can get like a $500 pass for all of them to go for a year. So that's there. I'm not sure. $60, by the way, between admission and parking. That's where you're paying. I mean, that seems high.

It really does. Especially because... All right, so what else makes this a theme park? All right, this a vr thing cool uh petting zoo okay yeah that's kind of something almost um zip lines there's zip lines sure that's a ride i mean we've never talked about zip lines in hundreds of episodes but okay close enough all right one zip line please all right. At least 50 more dollars, if not more. Yeah.

Thank you. It's an upcharge. It's not even part of that $60 you spend. Yeah, that's wild. So, yes, it's high. I mean, look, we did these drive-through experiences that were close to that. But that's because of COVID. That's because of the cost.

You know, that's a one-year thing. Yeah, it's people making the best of a bad situation right building up from scratch too which i mean this had to do but the petting zoo is very funny because you can't biblical as you can't bible's eyes a zoo you have to feed these animals zoos are regular there's a certain I mean there's some wonky zoos in America but by all accounts like there's a certain level of care

like you still have to even if you have like animal wranglers zookeepers they still have to know what they're doing even if they're religious like you can't just feed a tortoise only millet or whatever they would have been eating back back only what noah would have fed the tortoise yeah that's an old

family expression too right from your family oh you can't you can't just feed a tortoise millet yeah you know you can't judaism feed methuselah only ancient grains the very old tortoise methuselah which is pretty good i mean i gotta give them credit credit where it's due that's pretty good um yeah i'm just it's also just a bummer to me that like this ostrich or whatever has to live in rural kentucky let it let these animals there's a there a kangaroo. The kangaroo has to live in this field. Are they? They must all be jealous of the animals at Animal Kingdom. They're like, well, at least let us go to

Disney World. Come on. I think so, but then Ken would say, now you listen. That's a place of ill virtue, so be happy here next to this cafetorium. I really

can't under say how uncompelling Ken Ham is. Like, how is he this firebrand? How have we ever heard of him before for him being the most listless? Like, I'm sure all of our dads are far more dynamic. Like,

this is the sleepiest man yeah there i i'm building i'm waiting i'm building to a ken ham thing i found where i was like it's it's obviously not the most egregious thing he's ever done but it's like you son of a bitch like just insult to injury on top of anything else because he's just such a charisma black hole and let me say by the way i i don't want to give any air time either to the atheist and skeptic community uh there are also fucking creeps no i know i've watched a bunch of stuff like in trying to find where do you get footage and stills of this thing yeah i've gone down some atheist youtube rabbit holes and like oh god these guys that's the most annoying voice oh this guy's got a big ponytail oh geez he's atheist yeah

uh yeah yeah i i'm with you um so but let's you know what let's try to judge this as we did with our fake theme parks let's try to judge some of the experiences of course the philosophy is abhorrent but maybe there's something fun to do in this arc somewhere somewhere on on campus after all it was built by a guy named patrick marsh and patrick marsh was one of the leaders on the jaws and king kong projects for universal studios and he worked on san rio puro land which i liked very very much um so they had a theme park world ringer um so surely he must have pulled off something amazing um do you think the arc itself do you think do you imagine that you're driving up you crest the hill

and there is I mean we love our big our big spectacles our castles and our hallelujah mountains and our radiator springs do we think at least we look at this arc and go whoa how about that I gotta gram this it is impressive

in its size and it does like I would see it And I would say oh that looks like Noah's Ark I would think I wouldn't think that Before knowing where I was If I was just transported there So I think yes I think if you were assessing just the outside

You'd go oh very impressive How big this is Could it be better yeah it could be better It could look better Yeah it could be better it could look look better yeah it could use a little more character a little i think so which i guess is this petting zoo thing i get not petting zoo the the children's arcs like maybe like if it was like a charming disney boat with that sheen that the disney wood has that'd be nice but it's pretty like it's just drab it's extremely drab and accurate um except that then you if you look around the back then it's just like a building

like there's they just there's just a stucco building attached to it so they didn't even go full tilt on that it's like an actual bark the whole well but the the hvac units on the roof are period appropriate you know they areyear-old heating and air conditioning. Ham keeps telling Bill Nye how accurate it is, and then Bill Nye asks, well, can it float? And he's like, no. So it's not accurate. It can't be accurate unless it's floating,

and it could, like, you know, take the weight of all those animals, every animal species on the planet. Yeah, I mean mean there's definitely a lot of design flaws when i think this is a good example of this is what happens when you have uh no gay people on your design team right there's just uh there's no uh character artists and yeah this is like when straight people try to do camp and it's just like, oh, man, this sucks. All right. faith that says that you go to church and you view homosexuality as a sin you can't even be part-time or you would have to i guess like you could sign that and go yeah i do view all homosexuality as a sin but i am homosexual so who cares get away from me sure like but you do

technically this is in the uh but that's not to say that they haven't worked. They haven't had homosexual employees before because they at the same organization as a thing called the Creation Museum. That happened before the Ark Encounter. And they made a movie about Adam and Eve. And it was running there for several years before somebody figured out that the guy who played Adam was the owner and operator of a gay porn site nice and just did it as a like acting gig you got some slow gigs you know in comedy sometimes you do a prank show sometimes you do like some sort of hardcore porno yeah sometimes you do you know it's something you got slow years folks you got slow years that's what happens gigs where you can um anyways so well so that's the outside there is a little bit of imagination in the queue and by that i mean that the queue is big enough to

fit a thousand people but typically on you will on a typical day you'll only see about 10 yeah that's yes i think maybe he was optimistic i mean i think with a lot anytime you dig into any of these religious theme parks whoever put them together has a fantasy that this thing is going to be so inspirational that there will be thousands of people lined up and i have yet to see evidence that that can happen i don't think that's maybe there is a place right now that's going and it's the best religious theme park. Maybe the Jim Baker one got close. Right. The Jim Baker theme park from the 80s. But that seems like a better theme park in a way. It at least had, you know, they didn't exactly have any Radiator Springs racers there.

But they had like, you know, a merry-go-round and like a flume ride. Yeah. And a water slide. Yeah. So do that stuff. And then like tapings, that kind of thing helps. I think maybe they aren't doing like the periphery stuff to make you want, to make thousands of people want to keep coming. Right.

Well, Jim Baker, he's a bigger celebrity than Ken Ham. Maybe it's Ham that needs to up his profile and become more of a of a charismatic figure um i don't know how i should make a response video to little nas x yeah he makes a response video starts selling buckets like jim baker sells now of mres and dehydrated food for the end times of course oh yeah weird buckets and then then Lil Nas X can tweet at him like, hey, Ken Ham is daddy or something. Yeah. Stay mad, daddy. If we all just talk about how Ken Ham is hot, that's ethical, right? He won't like that. He won't like it, but it would keep him. He should stir up. He should know that controversy is good for him. Yeah. Well, I mean, we talked about former Disney CEOs getting it, quote unquote, but can Ken

Hamm get it? I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm going to say absolutely not. No, I don't think so. Ken Hamm, do not show feet. Thank you very much. So you get into the thing, and then what do you see then you see all right well here's where all

the animals live but again it's against the rules to have here's the giraffe head poking out and you could barely squeeze into the cave it's just like a bunch of cubbies and you look inside through slats, and you see mostly non-animatronic animals, mostly in the dark. Yeah, it sucks. Did he go to Disney? He can't go to Disney and see what it looks like to go on a decent ride with some robots? It sucks ass. It's really bad. I know, uh, the vice article,

I'll steal this observation from them that, um, they pointed out a room that is full of like, uh, charts on the wall and numbers. And they're like, yeah, you know,

there's a ride at Epcot and the ride is called test track. And when you're in the line, there's a lot of charts and numbers. But then at the end of all the charts and numbers, you get in a car and you go 65 miles an hour. The Ark Encounter is like if they didn't do that last part. Yeah. The top floor is all like museum.

It doesn't even look like an Ark from the shots I saw. Maybe there are parts that still look kind of like Ark-like. But the pictures up there made it look like it was a cheap-ass museum. Yeah. I watched a walkthrough by what I quickly learned was a family with four children, and they live in an RV. And they just kept talking about how, like, this is so amazing. This is so great. There's so much information.

They said that so many times. There's just so much information here. And I beg to differ. I don't know that there's much besides, like, the parking lot is that way. Uncle Leroy's fudge is that way. That, I think, is the only

information. You know, were we able to find any reviews of the fudge at Ark Encounter? I've got fudge material. Don't worry. Let's go out of order in order to just to keep the fun flowing. Yes. What do we know about Uncle Leroy's fudge?

Well, okay. So there's a 36 minute long video called Ken Ham Becomes a Fudge Expert that you can find on YouTube. And so it's 36 minutes long because it was the live stream video from New Year's Eve 2019.

And Ken Am goes to the fudge. There's this fudge counter in the Ark named Uncle Leroy's Fudge. Uncle Leroy is there. He's a guy. He said he's been doing this for 45 years. I guess making fudge. Uncle Leroy is there. He's a guy. He said he's been doing this for 45 years. I guess making fudge

for 45 years. And very quickly you realize this video also sucks because Ken Am is a charisma black hole. He will not let Uncle Leroy talk. He keeps cracking the worst jokes. There's

another guy there and they go this is cody and cody is along for the video there's no explanation of who cody is or why he's there um the fudge looks competent it's more of the uh loaf shape kind of fudge oh interesting i don't know if you guys are more partial to square or rectangular. I'm more of a square man, but I'm interested in this. The different shape actually makes me more intrigued to have it. I don't know if that doesn't maybe make any sense, but I'm intrigued because maybe the process of making it is different. I'm starved for fun now, so I'd gladly grab a vanilla pecan fudge loaf and devour the whole thing. Jason's being negative, but

let's be honest. He would get baptized by Ken Ham to try some of Uncle Leroy's fudge. Oh, look, the fudge looks good. Uncle Leroy seems like a pro. I believe it's his son is making the fudge in the video. I did not watch all 36 minutes of it because I wanted to hear about

fudge making and see how he did it but ken ham kept fucking interrupting him uh i do have to say unlike the fudge mzara's buffet the all you can eat buffet uh looks like some of the brownest under most under seasoned food i have ever seen that macaroni cheese doesn't look like it's melted very well no no mostly yeah it's like straight out of the bag of shredded cheese i yeah ick cinnamon those cinnamon rolls don't look good some of these just big like uh whipped cream type trays i don't even know what's in it what is that in the middle i think uh oh in the middle i don't know what that is truly i this is that's mashed

potatoes on the right i assume but what is that thing in the next to it no i think that's tapioca i think this is the dessert uh trays uh which has you're right you're right i thought that was mashed potatoes i apologize it's got the most sinister energy coming off it really does yeah that's evil food yeah this is terribly under-seasoned. And Mzar's Buffet, the buffet next to the Ark, is one of the largest restaurants in the world, capable of holding 1,500 diners. Unbelievable.

I saw that fact, and I confirmed it on a listicle of the biggest restaurants in the world, and it's buried towards the back because most of them them are more interesting than this and then they're like yeah and then for some reason the kentucky ark encounter has the biggest restaurant and to me it seems like is this a mistake like did did was this a reverse of the spinal tap stonehenge where the little like inch marking was in the wrong place. So make sure it can hold 150 people. Got it. And then somebody read something as a zero

that they weren't supposed to. When has this ever needed 1,500 people? But then Ken Ham has found something that he can tie it to in one of the chapters in Genesis to say, well, we all should be dining with 1,499 of our close friends at all times. There's got to be something he's figured out.

Let me ask. I'll show you guys this and I'll post this so people can see. Can you identify any of these items? Okay. All right. There's brownies on the right. Those are brownies. Okay, good. All okay good all right okay yeah okay oh which maybe puts it all in dessert that helps me because there's a big there's a bunch of balls that are like different shades of brown and i was thinking falafel but if it's dessert then it's not falafel

um and maybe edible cookie i thought maybe it was like ball versions of the Cheesecake Factory breads, the two types. The brown bread and the regular bread. But I don't... Now I don't... I actually don't know, besides that it's dessert. I think those are blondies maybe next to the brownies. Yes, possibly. I think these look like maybe like munchkins, maybe like donut holes.

Oh, yeah. Maybe. Or maybe oh yeah maybe or maybe a little bigger chess pie squares on the right yeah like a custard pie oh yeah yeah or banana cream but it's like a big mess like the the uh it's it's like a slop made up of individual slices you don't know where one begins and the next uh ends yeah it's um it's it's rough stuff i i mean i've been to a i've been to a buffet in my time i i've been to my family went to uh amish smorgasbords in in pennsylvania and um very kind people there are nice people again food pretty under season but there's a lot of it, certainly. But the nicest, again, the nicest people working those places, not trying to convert you at all, not like the Answers in Genesis crowd. Yeah, it's the whole point is to...

Can I say two facts really quick? One is that Mzara is the name of Noah's wife, apparently, but that's not, I don't think in the Bible. I think that's pulled from other stuff over the years. But a more fun fact is that I'm looking at a sign that's right outside the actual Ark that has some soda cups branded to Ark Encounter, and it does inform you that there's the possibility of a flood of refills see that seems like that's too much fun to be had yeah i think it's the only fun thing on property and it's just

because ken hasn't seen it yet they're like steering him away from the sign don't let ken see uh the gift shop did we look at this oh i don't know yeah no i missed it okay so the gift shop so we're talking about fun and you're talking about how you know they do that uh misdirect with the cute animals and that's not what this is about don't think that for a second you go into the goddamn gift shop excuse my language no do it and this is the episode there are cute animal plush everywhere it's full and under it on the headline it says equip children what why is it said so formally for with a equip children with a little stuffed camel yeah and and we barely even talked i didn't realize dinosaurs

were on noah's ark that's news to me well I mean, that's kind of the corner that you're around. Yeah. Like, that's the big secret of the place in general. Yeah. Is the presence of dinosaurs. Which does get us into fun a little more. That's not what they intended. I agree.

It would be more fun if, like, also the mighty Akron was on the Ark. That would be even better if we could get some other fun character fun animals uh so but we'll focus on this gift shop there's a couple more things here so they got the cute plush and the cute so that's already go spitting in the face of ken ham's idea uh and then on the left here i love there's a lot of books that say stuff like inside noah's ark why it worked oh it's so obsessed with like practically explaining this is so funny because there's like videos where it's like explaining how the batmobile would work in real life no one cares it's a fucking story like batman isn't real there's no reason to vice versa because we are i don't think we're a fan of any of the neil digress tyson type stuff that's like actually that wouldn't have that is not very realistic

it's stories shut up did the point of the story work that's true of movies that's true of the bible i've said it i'm sure i've said it on the podcast before but grant morrison our one of our favorite comic book writers was saying he goes when you show a kid a movie with a talking crab the kid just goes oh the crab is talking but when an adult gets a hold of it they're like well why is this crab talking and why the kid knows it's fake the kid knows it's made up but adults for some reason have this bizarre thing where it's like we must explain and it's like it's so boring who gives a shit you can also get a book called a flood of evidence 40 reasons noah's ark still matter or noah's ark still matters or an s at the end of

that ken ham wrote this book folks with bode hodge bode hodge that's probably hodge i'm choosing hoge just to go with bode uh and in case bode oge in case you want more books that that have evidence in them how about this the flood evidences combo there's four books with evidence imagine going to a gift shop that's just here take a book full of evidence format pack technicality layman ages seven and up oh so my seven-year-old will like echoes of eritat oh man evidence flood of evidence also is 336 pages long uh yes but but but back to the cuteness stuff too if you look on this page here's no. He's a cute cartoon man. This is not what Ken Ham was talking about. So I'm surprised he't think this is a waltz in charisma or in obsession with details i think he is not obsessed with details i think he wanted his arc and he ignores a lot of other stuff yes uh i would i'm always curious about exactly how deep these guys

go with what they're saying as well because like as evidenced by him just being saying to Bill Nye what do you care man hey I'm done arguing with you what do you care about what we're doing that feels like maybe you're out of evidence yeah perhaps also you invited me here you're getting content out of this just like I am

why are you getting to that point I did see the one gift shop thing I saw was a yarn beard and cap so that you could be a little Noah. His famous cap and his beard. All right, can we get that for you? Oh, yeah. Not from here.

We can get a separate Etsy uh yarn beard but that's yeah we're not supporting this place yeah can somebody make is there a different more secular character like uh uh the mascot for uh beard beard papa yeah oh jason has beard papa can we have somebody on Etsy make us a beard papa outfit for Jason, please? Sure. I'm going to have to post sizes somewhere. Just DM us. We'll give you sizes. Let's talk about dinosaurs because that's what they're anxious to do um my exposure to the notion of creationism and dinosaurs or religion dinosaurs going together

was the cabazon dinosaurs apologies if i'm saying that that name wrong cabazon um the uh that of course being the dinosaurs that are on the way to palm springs probably on the way to other places but i think of them from the Palm Springs drive. They're famous from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. You pass by them on the side of the road. Maybe once in a while people go, I'm going to get out and take some photos of that. Seen them my whole life,

obviously from Pee Wee. They've been there since the 50s or 60s. And finally, one time going to Palm Springs with Aaron, and like, all right we gotta go we gotta go check this out um i didn't know that in the recent past that there was a change in ownership to the cabazon dinosaurs and it had become a creationist museum so they took the the fun dinosaurs that peewee hangs out with and they built a whole little thing around it with smaller

dinosaurs and there's this whole little maze that you walk around and i i don't know if it's still like this i think it may have changed ownership again i i was just there oh okay did you go into the thing we didn't pay for the thing we just pulled you can just pull over and park next to the burger king and take your picture under the big dinosaurs for free and then leave. That's what we did. It seemed like mostly the thing they were pushing is come in, there's a petting zoo, and get soft serve ice cream and

dinosaur cones like the fish soft serve ice cream cones. Unfortunately, you had to pay to get past the entry to get to that ice cream shack. There's other ice cream to get. Yeah, you need to pay that fee. Yeah, you can still get your pictures taken there for free.

And that's what we did. And then got in the car because the winds were knocking everyone over. It was so windy. Oh, yeah. It's so crazy. Well, there's that whole feel. The windmill is not far past that. But so at least whenever we went in there, totally surprised, totally gobsmacked that this was a religious museum.

But religious, however, in that there's like a T-Rex attacking a medieval knight. That's the kind of crap that's in there. And I'll tell you way more fun than uh the ark encounter this may be a separate thing to be done about the cabazon dinosaurs um pretty like clever of some group to come in and say hey people know those dinosaurs and they know peewee what if we we have a message around it and And all of the little tableaus of like a scared knight holding up a spear. Like, what do I do? Like, as a velociraptor.

That shit, pretty fun. Stupid, wrong, incorrect. But anyway, that was my exposure to all of it. And I didn't know there was this whole strand of thing. And that is very kid baiting. Like, well, kids like dinosaurs. And maybe they don't know that God created dinosaurs. And on the same day that he created Adam and Eve.

That was news to me in researching this episode. And I was like, wait. So does it say in the Bible God created dinosaurs and then he created man? No, it says created the land animals, created all the land animals and then created man. So it's still a leap to say dinosaurs. There's no dinosaurs in the Bible. They're pulling this out of nowhere, which makes it extra bizarre when you walk around here and you see signs that say things like, Did you know up to 85 kinds of dinosaurs were on the ark?

Two Tyrannosaurids, two Stegosaurids. What are you talking about for being bible literalists how are you getting that there were two stegosaurs on there that is made up this is kids making up rules on the playground you don't get to say how many stegosauruses were there like the gremlins may as well be on the ark like it's like you may it doesn't it doesn't make any sense. You said Mighty Cron. You said this is how they get me, is if all of the great creatures from literature,

if the Xenomorph is on there. Yes. God created the Xenomorph. The Beastly Kingdom. If they had put the Beastly Kingdom in. Yeah, that's right. There's minions. God created the minions created stewart that's game over if you get minions in there that's god created the biker mice from mars and

they're on the earth do you um is ninja turtles sinful in this viewpoint because it was a mutation well no no because god created the turtles and he also created the ooze. And then an accident combined these two things. So the mutation that just happened. That was, I guess, eventually part of God's plan. Yeah, for sure. That's, yes, the turtles were part of God's plan. That's what I always, that's the most religion, by the way, I had as a child.

That was your religion, yes yes it's still going into some degree but the dangers of eastern religion you know the spirituality and and discipline that comes in the art of the the ninja of martial arts and i have to reconcile like how in the movie hamato yoshi is a man who is killed and his rat becomes splinter versus in the cartoon ninja turtles where uh hamato yoshi becomes the rat man it's different so i have to reconcile how that works in my brain and i i don't have a great ken ham explanation for it yet this is like king james and different like yeah it passes through different sources so how do you reconcile how can you be a

literalist when there's original Ninja Turtles but also Ninja Turtles meet Batman and Robin right how does it all work together yeah it's tough and I gotta maybe talk to a Ken Ham like guy to help you know make it my faith straight my turtle faith

yeah also what does it do to one's brain to run the twitter account for arc encounter where they post like check out this animal like the statue of this animal which went extinct a long time ago and all the replies are like yeah went extinct two million years ago asshole just gotta ignore sinners haters yeah um on on the dinosaur front though just this but this twisted philosophy because you well you start going like like those twitter people poking holes in everything like well how could there have been dinosaurs on the ark because they're big they would have eaten everything well no god thought of that he put small dinosaurs on you see they were smaller so they wouldn't go and

they were caged so don't worry about it but then there's this whole other i mean part of the noah story is that there was so much sin on earth that god decided to wipe it and uh you know start fresh and only the pious noah and ham and all of them uh were going to make it so this the ark encounter has exhibits that show you what was that sin what was going on on earth that was so bad and apparently it was mistreatment of dinosaurs this is probably the the most uh prominent tableau um i'll zoom in a tiny bit where um there's a gladiator pit and people like like gladiators or whatever warriors are being made to fight a dinosaur while other people cheer and holler um and then i don't know why over here on the left uh giants come into the mix we also got giants so there's dinosaurs

fighting giants because you shouldn't be gay right that all ties there uh giants okay like what i guess look at this this is a sign on the wall too giants genesis 6-4 and you look it up and one out of 10 bible versions use the word giants the rest it's some made-up term but they're from that they're convinced that giants are a major part of the bible story huh are giants bad i guess they are in this context. Well, also, humans were much smaller in the time of the Bible, and they might think Mike was a giant, you know? That's a good point. I could be a giant. Yeah.

Let's call me a giant. So would Ken Ham, if you came poking around Ken Ham with questions about the Ninja Turtles, would he go, ah, giant, and run screaming, or his half-hearted version of screaming? Yeah, he would not. He runs like one mile an hour, and his scream is like, ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Don't eat me, giant. Ah. Ah. Also, isn't this a perfect opportunity to retcon dinosaurs out of the actual timeline that they probably existed in? Just say they were killed

in the flood and Noah didn't have time to collect the dinosaurs and then that wiped them out. So you get rid of the problem of them existing far longer ago than 6,000 years. That would be easy. There's a whole wipe clean. Why noah take dinosaurs

right because then they stopped existing right you have to explain then why they stopped existing past that there's an it's such an easy i mean he's really got to talk to jason who are like the best like crisis on infinite earths is a dc event where they like took all their continuity and it was so heavy that they just like stripped it away and got rid of characters. He's really got to talk to somebody who specializes. Comic book writer Marv Wolfman should really be involved in this. Or even just script, like Robert McKee.

Like Robert McKee, help me simplify this story. That said, I think not to be pat and be like, all this stuff they complain about is cool, but the statue they made of a priest delivers a human baby into the belly furnace of a snake god is pretty badass. What? This is nuts. Yeah. Now, this is psychedelic. It? This is nuts.

Now, this is like psychedelic. Almost like H.R. Giger. This is cool. Yeah. Now, I wouldn't have flooded that. I would just be pissing off that snake god. I don't want beef with snake gods. There was a snake god? Or is that a statue?

Oh, that's a statue. Is that a false idol? It is a false idol. Okay. There weren't big snakes running around, but there were giants. No, but there are eventually after the flood, eventually you get to modern history and there are pagans. So I don't quite know how they square that circle.

Also, other world religions, I'm sure they're not fond of them. Well, mainly because they don't fit into the narrative very well yeah um there's also there's on the dinosaur front oh another weird thing is that um again with that gladiator thing this apparently was a very common like all right what are the sins of man what are they doing that are that's bad apparently there's artwork all over showing humans at the time being bad to dinosaurs there's like a first sacrifice it's a real thing in the bible they just make it a dinosaur in this um and they just show other like i don't know what it is exactly but i think like you know i guess they know god had to wipe out all of humanity because people were like kicking a dinosaur in the butt that's that seems like a

simplification of what the message was was it wasn't there like a bigger message forgive me not knowing anything about religion but wasn't like yeah i don't think it was just like it wasn't just like yanking dinosaurs tails or like making them do stuff for you. Take me to school. Mush. It turns out it was not a living the way that humans were misusing dinosaurs to play records. That is exactly what I was about to say is the is an easy retcon just showing old flintstones footage and them using like an old dinosaur as a garbage can and then you go oh yeah humans

misused dinosaurs they did they were abusing them at this time and this is our actual can am would say like this is actual footage from the past. There is one accurate text. There is only one piece of true media in filthy, vile Hollywood. And it is this from the Pius Anna and Barbera. You see these sinners were using elephants as showers and pig dinosaurs as garbage disposals. Some kid's like, oh, I saw them meet the Jetsons once. He's like, no, you didn't. No, you did not.

Because God created a time machine. That is what happened. Yeah, I mean, there's so many easy pop culture ways to get around this, and I feel like Ken Ham did a shit job. Been easy, real easy. Just have a room in your not fun museum have a room that just plays flintstones episodes all day that would make this 10 times a better

theme park yeah if you need to edit it to scary music and put like you know uh filters on it to good then the and these heathens would when it was they would ride a dinosaur all day for work and then yell a celebration word that was nonsense and slide all the way down its tail here you can see them committing the sin of gluttony

eating a far too big rib platter God okay so God was watching theintstones and he said this must stop and he told noah to build the ark and get all the animals there and then after he did that and then the flood uh went away god said all right now i will kill the dinosaurs forever i will wipe them out good news news. I saved the dinosaurs. All right. Good. Thanks for saving the job for me.

Lightning bolt. Lightning bolt. And he gets to know now God in heaven is using dinosaurs as record players and as garbage cans because he's brought them up to his kingdom and he is now... He just stole our idea? Yes. Flintstone's idea? He is abusing the dinosaurs now that's what's

happening and it's it's that sort of uh you know for forward thinking usefulness that would make him a great hire it's basically sprockets company no it doesn't oh no the uh the pterodactyls holding a cloud up with god sitting on it and the pterterodactyls, of course, say it's a holy living. It's a holy... It's a pious living. It's a pious living. I like the idea also that in the aftermath of the flood that somebody would be digging for fossils

and then find the perfect fossils of Fred and Barney. Short, weird, stout. Early man. I mean... Yeah. early yeah tiny early man looked like height stun it by those uh you know lucky strikes um okay so there's all that there's also the fact that so there's a documentary about all this called we believe in dinosaurs uh which is mainly notable for a part where they show a ken ham lecture where he's talking to a bunch of children and he says uh so what do you say when somebody says that the earth was old actually and a bunch of kids all say were you there and then he says and what do you when somebody talks about dinosaurs what do you say that they are called and they all say missionary lizards what yeah never heard that one in my life a great

improv team name if you're looking for an improv team name, you could do a lot worse. Of course, improv was wiped out by the great flood of 2020. Yeah, I don't know that it needs to come. The great plague, I guess. I don't know if that's what needs to come back. Much like dinosaurs. God told certain people to put it on their boat, but they actually had paid too much for the boat. And they had to sell the boat and they had to sell the boat because they had made bad business decisions so then they didn't have a boat to

save it it's a very sad build a great yeah imagine a great ark two stories with classrooms and a storefront should i fill it no yeah Why put a business in there? That's not my plan. Imagine Noah built like four boats, two at once, and maybe the demand wasn't there. He is not listening to Ham or Amzara. He's listening to no one who came after him. He has these meetings, and it's like,

why are we even having the meetings if Amzara's not going to get a word in? He's just yelling at the dinosaurs the two boats the two boats were like a cash cow like Noah was living good off those two boats but then the four

stupid new vision the two more boats Ken Ham's lack of charisma does prime him that if this endeavor ever goes under he he could easily be a comedy teacher yeah jason and i if we were younger we would pay ken ham 400 for eight classes of comedy instruction he told me we needed a boys band, too. All right.

The first rule of improv. Yes and unless you're not straight. And now that... Which case, leave right now. That brings up a good... I don't think we've talked about this. On top of everything else, the lamest thing Keith Kenham did in december 2016 uh the they lit the arc with rainbow colors with the idea of uh reclaiming the symbol from the gay rights movement oh for god's sake that sucks

like that's so bad it's take back the rainbow take back the rainbow campaign Take back the rainbow campaign. That's catchy, isn't it? Yeah. Yes. What a good use of your time. What a wonderful use of your time. Yeah, man. We're an adult. Heal the sick.

Heal the sick. Feed the poor. No, no, no. We got a culture war bullshit about rainbows. Is he mad at Skittles, too? Does he want the rainbow back from Skittles? Does he not want you to taste the rainbow anymore?

He's coming for... Only Christians should have Skittles. Sherwin and Williams committed sins by making this many paint colors. Only brown. Only Ark brown. Only brown. Like the delicious meals you can get at m zaras cafe which unfortunately has been converted back to a cafeteria due to this covid hoax virus that's something we haven't

talked about they still have to adhere to the basic safety tenets of businesses and theme parks like cdc regulations so they have to have mask enforcement they have to have like uh like limited seating at mzaras and i'm sure it's killing them oh because if it was just if it was like zoned as a museum then they wouldn't have to do it because it is a museum but because they made it they said the a museum, then they wouldn't have to do it. Because it is a museum. But because they made it, they said the word theme park, now they're stuck under theme park rules. Well, I think just it's Kentucky. I think just basic Kentucky, like most states, I don't know.

I'm sure they've scaled stuff back. A lot of states have. But just basic common sense stuff of hand sanitizer and all. And it's like, how much are they like pissed right right um before we leave the arc i want to uh nod to the noah animatronic you gotta like that there is an animatronic um he talks in that history voice that all history animatronics talk in like ben frank Franklin and Mark Twain. He answers a lot of bizarre questions, like Why don't I look

600? What do you mean? This is what all the 600-year-olds I know look like. But not my wife. She doesn't look a day over 400. Yep. Yep. Yeah.

It's also canon that Noah hates woodpeckers. What? They ask, what's your least favorite animal? And he says, they're all wonderful in God's eye. But why do question why Shem put that bird that knocks on wood all day next to the living quarters and I'm out of this room by the time this sentence is over I love robots

what else is going on in the news today airplane food huh I'm sure we're gonna do a little plus up but like here live it up throw Woody Woodpecker in there to like pester him. Torturing.

Yeah. Pranking. He's like figment. Bothering Noah. He's like Noah's figment. You know? Oh, Woody. I guess it is.

I do despise you sometimes, but it is part of God's plan that we spar. And then he does his noise that we all can do. An impression of. Right? He does that. That's fine. That's pretty good. That's fine. You know, we can't assume just because we're all so bad at Donald's that we can't do, at least that you can't do, Woody.

That was very good. Thank you. Jason, you want to try it? Eh. No, I can't. I can't. But better than Donald. Yeah. You would recognize. Scacco.

Yeah. Sure. Okay. And then Ken Ham, you go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's about right. He does a great Donald, though, I bet. Broadly perfect Donald.

There's also an animatronic of Japeth's sad wife sweeping up the floor. Oh, man. Does she talk? No. Is Japeth's wife, do we know her name? I didn't write it down because I was going to butcher the- Is it Helen? No, it's wait, I have the names.

Wait, well, here, I'm going to share this from Wikipedia, which is where I learned about the um oh here we go thing oh it's got an apostrophe at the beginning what is that how do you pronounce that not elta muck that's a guess no that's ham's wife jaypeth's wife sorry is of course yes of course it's jaypet's wife who is added added tennies well we've got we all try to say shem's wife's names old names you know what shem's wife it's old testament i don't know some of these people might be very holy uh in the to, uh, for the sake of proper religious, uh, dignity, which this place has none of, um, I will not attempt

uh, these. Shem's wife. Yeah. Yeah. That's for the best. Well, how would Woody Woodpecker say one of these names is the question. Seketab Seketab Seketab Seketab

Yeah, there you go. Great think it actually helped yahweh will allow that he will allow woody a little more chill yeah so let's we're winding down but we got to talk about this now here's where it becomes a theme park everybody is the vr experience now VR experience. Now this I like. I got way more excited knowing about the VR experience. Why it's called Truth Traveler. That's right. Strap on your goggles. It's time for Truth Traveler. Let me find the description.

Get seated in the Truth Traveler time machine and journey back to the time of Noah. What again? More? traveler time machine and journey back to the time of noah what again more in our immersive virtual reality experience a flood of reality more floods um and here we go finally some catnip pod the lovable robot we have a character it's pod will be your guide as you witness the building of noah's ark experience the flood venture inside the Ark with the animals, and some surprises. Some exciting surprises along the way. We can't see a ride-through of this because this is a VR goggle experience.

But I did learn what one of the exciting surprises is. And would you believe that the first exciting surprise is that you are greeted in this vr attraction by a hologram of ken ham oh man hello it's me my hologram though this time and welcome to yeah wow i did not realize that like much like on star tours where you get a Princess Leia hologram. Here, you get the Ken Ham hologram. Instead, oh, man, am I going to get Leia? Am I going to get Yoda? Oh, I got Ken Ham. It's such a perfect, like, disappointing name.

Oh, Ken Ham. Ken Ham again. How is Jon Ham the most dashing name, and Ken Ham is just the saddest dipshit? Scott, you know what else makes this place a theme park? Grand expansion plans. Oh, yeah. There's a huge map of unbuilt stuff.

Yeah. They want to make this a whole complex. The Ark alone seemed to cost $100 million, and that's with private fundraising and state incentives and stuff. But they also were including a model of the Tower of Babel and replicas of an ancient walled city and a Middle Eastern village.

And yeah, if this is your proof of concept, the Ark, I wouldn't. Like, I don't, first off, I don't want to meet the people who live in that village. I'm afraid of what they're going to say. Mm-hmm. Yeah, sure. They did almost build, or part of the plans have included a thrill ride about

the 10 plagues of egypt but i guess they've if you can believe that they have uh scaled back those plans there will not be this now at least now what does thrill ride mean to them that's my question um i don't know i mean, look, just to go back to the Truth Traveler really quick, because I watched a video where Ken Ham does a walkthrough of the Truth Traveler experience, and if this is their idea of a thrilling experience, this is one of the saddest things I've ever seen, where this older man in a mask, and the most wires on a VR setup I've ever seen is so much more than the void or on an Oculus. I mean, he looks like he's like undergoing surgery.

This is like like he's going to be here for 10 hours and it's going to be really invasive. This is so this is so, this is such misery, but then, Hey, you get to like go around the boat, you know, like you get to do in reality, but instead with goggles and you're in like,

it's, it's a, it's a row of four 40 X chairs basically that, that move around in unthemed rooms. And, uh, yeah, here they go.

That's a, just like black walls with just like the the your headphone uh shelves are just right above your head this is oh but then you but you do see dinosaurs there's a there's there's pod reacting to a dinosaur um you come face to face with a baby T-Rex because there were only small T-Rexes on the Ark. So as opposed to other dinosaur theme park attractions, you get the tiniest dinosaur.

The graphics look like GameCube, Nintendo GameCube graphics. And this is a newer experience so it feels like they didn't maybe put so much money into it. Maybe not. At least the character is there, though.

I'll say that. Yeah, he's British. So he's got sort of a Ken Ham vibe himself. Did you get any sense of, I don't know, do we like Pod? Well, is Pod anti-LGBTQ? Because that might, I assume he is, probably. Is it a hate-monger robot? Yeah, I don't...

Probably. He seems nice, but some people are nice but have hate in their heart. I did read the former... The former head of Herschend Family Entertainment, which runs Dollywood and Kentucky Kingdom and Silver Dollar City,

consulted on this project. And to them, I ask, what did you do? What did you contribute? Have a couple different restaurants. You're going to have to have- There's no proof of theming here anywhere. No.

You know what I would love and maybe this do we have anything else before like really fast here we go i was just gonna say my absolute favorite ken ham video is him being taken around this facility of truth traveler and the best moment he's going around with like another total dullard and the two of them walk in and uh ken's like okay looks good so this is the lobby and um and it's gonna be more uh it's gonna be more themed uh eventually you're gonna put up more stuff and the guy says oh yeah yeah yeah no you are oh yes you just did like the minimal amount to uh get it open yeah exactly so it's gonna be so it's gonna be like yeah yeah no we're gonna do the theming okay good good and then he then then they leave and he does it again you're just like why did they publish this him scolding his

own employee and then they then then the guy says and and so the thing kicks off actually with you it's a hologram of you and he's like oh right me that's oh yeah okay like he's in the ride and doesn't even know he doesn't know pod's name. He's so checked out. It's like, what's he doing? If not this, if we had our own theme park, it's all we would think about. Yeah. No, he, I, at the most, I don't know. It's obviously worse if it's this whole, just a cynical exercise on his part to rake in money, which it might be.

I don't know. I'm not sure. But yeah, of course you you'd be very excited. He built a giant ark. You should be at least excited about that. Yeah. Nothing does it for this guy, apparently. Yeah.

Well, how do we save this place? What if it changes hands like the Cabazon dinosaurs, and is there something fun you can do with an ark? Well, I think, and i'm not sure what connection it'll have but i think it should change hands and i believe it should go in the hands of hard rock park creator john benkowski yeah hell yeah i think you give uh you know go back and listen to our hard rock hard rock park episodes um but you gotta give you gotta give a guy with that passion with the

creativity that's exploding with ideas like winston the punk rock dog and the bare metal family original characters he knew what was fun i believe that was a failure of a park because of advertising and location and i don't think it was for lack of creativity. So I think turn it over to somebody like a Binkowski, and now we can get something going in here. Are there any famous big boats in rock history? Could we just make this Hard Rock Park? That's exactly what I was trying to figure out. What is a big boat in rock history?

That boat, there was a movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman about the pirate radio stations off of the coast of England. That's true. Oh, yeah. That is true. Is it called Pirate Radio? Is it called, or the boat that rocked? Was it one that had like different names?

I don't remember. There is, of course, I'm looking at famous songs about a boat, and there is a Jimmy Buffett song called Something About a Boat, but that might not be so famous to do. Come Sail Away, a famous Styx song, of course. Well, if we're going to make this Styxland, and now Styx is the river in hell, so that would really be against the wishes of Ken Ham,

but what better way to stick it to him than to give it over to Tommy Shaw and John Binkowski. And then you actually make the river Styx. You die water red. It's a blood red river. Styx playing all day. A bunch of robotos walking around serving you. Get your two coins for the pay the river man to put over your eye

i don't think i get that one wait what's the river man oh you uh when someone back in the day when someone died you would put a coin over each eye and those were the two coins to pay the river man the the to ferry you across the river sticks to the after oh yeah yeah oh to get past okay okay yeah yeah um i'm into this if it's not the ark it's the come sail away yeah paint it white let's but yeah like get a coat of paint on that thing fast and what's inside um you know we don't have to limit it to sticks other bands can well and that's what i was going to say i think you need another business-minded musician in there maybe someone with royalty you know royal prestige like a knight a knight in satan's service And I'm talking about Mr. Gene Simmons. The restaurateur. You know, you get him involved.

He's not going to like sharing power. He's not going to like sharing attention. But he can bring a lot to the table. Of course he does bring a lot to the table. But The Kiss, I don't believe, has any songs about a boat, unfortunately. Though Scott Garner's favorite course does have a song about boat and i'll reference this other boats how about the beach boys the sloop john b what about that oh make it the sloop john b it's a it's finally a uh an exactly accurate recreation and it's this

was the size of the sloop john b these stages are where the these cages are where people were when they uh wanted to go home because they felt so broke up that's exactly right and there's books that you wrote that are 500 pages long evidence about the sloop john b and it's where you explain how the sloop john b could have existed and it did and it's yeah well it's all convincing p it's converting people to uh you know brian wilson beach boys ism as opposed to it's about converting people away from love ism right because it's in kentucky there might be more mike love supporters and people who would still go see the beach boys and i now look i'd love to ride a roller coaster with the guy but um i think he's using that name a little wrongly these days and i don't like that he's going around to trump events

so um yeah that made a difference i'm like love did not save the campaign ultimately and what's interesting too is that there were dinosaurs on the sloop john b yeah leave them the lyrics totally the lyrics don't say there were dinosaurs but there were and it explains it all here at the sloop john b that's the was not was deck that's where uh walk the dinosaur plays yes that's the name of that song right yes yes great great uh um well all the best music is going to be at... So do you just call it, maybe you just unify it. Obviously, Styx, Beach Boys, Was Not Was,

all the best bands get involved. But, and Kiss. Kiss is in there too. But is it Hard Rock Park 2? Hard Rock Park... Is there a biblical way? When Jesus comes back from the dead, it's the... Resurrection.

The Rising. It's the Resurrection. Hard Rock Park Resurrection. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah. The Rising is, of course, a Bruce Springsteen song, too.

That's good. The Boat That Rocked. Hard Rock Park Resurrection. The Boat That Rocked. The Boat That Rocked, which was the official name of in america this movie was called pirate radio with uh nick frost and philip seymour hoffman and bill nye about the pirate stations uh in england oh weird okay well yeah then the

whole thing is hard rock park. What do we like? Hard Rock Park Rising? Hard Rock Park um... Wait, what's the... The Resurrection? Yeah, Hard Rock Park Resurrection. I mean, either one. Yeah, I think either one's good. I don't know. And then it's the boat that rocked within that? A boat

that rocked. Yeah, that's good. That could be the simulator ride. You're like, we've got to get offshore we've got to get to the oil rig where we're broadcasting the kink songs and then there's a hologram of John Binkowski that appears why don't we save

pod the robot reprogram him make sure that he doesn't have any bigoted views so we'llgram him right make sure that he doesn't have any bigoted views so we'll we'll say we'll save him right and uh what if like every because there's 12 rooms in that vr experience they're all programmed to different things and just offhand it's all stopping rocket disasters like we're all gonna go in the time machine to save the the plane right buddy Holly. Don't get on that plane, Big Bopper and Buddy Holly. I'm Pod.

I'm here to save you. Not in the religious way, right? No, like your life. Oh, yeah, baby. One of the rooms is Pod convinces Stephen Page not to quit the Barenaked Ladies. Very well, yes. One of the major. one of the big major stories in rock that shake the world of course yeah stopping john denver from going skiing yep

pod yanks him off the slopes wait was he skiing or a foot wait sonny bono was sonny bono was a yeah denver was a plane yeah all right so he'll pull him out of the plane we'll pull Sonny Bono away from the skis and that's great it's a lot of missions of getting people not to get on planes mostly planes largely planes I mean this is unlimited

it's unlimited and also you'd have I mean there'd be so many opportunities for walk around characters and it would just be full of life you could really do a ton with it I mean, there'd be so many opportunities for walk-around characters. It would be full of life. You could really do a ton with it. Yeah. Would it be cruel to keep the animals at the petting zoo but to paint them kiss colors?

No, not at all. No. As long as it's safe, we'll make sure whatever we're using is safe for them. Yeah. We do need to branch out a little more than Hard Rock Park and that's why you have a walk-around Drake we're using is safe for them yeah we do need to branch out a little more than hard rock park and that's why you have a walk around like uh drake character and he sings god's plan his big hit song okay well that's still in the religious roots we do honor them yeah and i a big mascot drake

that sounds pretty good to me yeah so that's uh i mean kids stay awake uh actually maybe not um we saved it we saved it but it's gonna take a couple years for this to have this place has to uh fall apart slowly i think it is being burnt to the ground for insurance money uh slowly um and uh yes will ken ham learn a lesson from all this as humanity did from the flood perhaps not but I hope maybe some Kentucky land will be going for real cheap soon and we can

grab it on behalf of John Binkowski I think that's a great idea and when we eventually have Binkowski on we'll float this idea to him we really did at this point we really gotta talk to that guy. Yeah. That's a good goal for the near future.

But for now, we close out. You survived Podcast The Ride. Weird Easter edition. Amen. Thank you, everyone, for being here. Follow us on the socials. We'll post pictures of weird dinosaur giant fights over there and for three bonus episodes every month

you can check out the second gate at patreon.com slash podcast the ride everyone have a very happy Easter have hopefully the last holiday for a little bit that has to be done in a weird

careful bad way um and next easter will finally be a rager i can't wait i'm gonna go as nuts as all those pagans did before the flood oh my gosh dying i'm gonna die so many eggs every year every honey baked ham out like location is gonna just be a full-on bacchanal you know i will say i'm going a little crazy right now because i'm going to go to a grocery store pickup and i did order some fruit punch flavored peeps wow so that's pretty wild that's so bad peeps the notorious it's like cliche to say how bad peeps are and you added fruit punch to the mix i am well i did not create the candy but i am a longtime fan of peeps uh i believe peeps

people saying peeps are bad or slander i was i loved peeps as a child uh so we'll see maybe they're out of them it also looked like one of those niche items where sometimes i add it to the order and they're like we don don't carry this. What are you doing? So we'll see. I guess of all the things to get wrong in your mobile grocery orders, that one, but I don't know. Maybe this one you throw a

fit. Yeah, no, I've never thrown a fit at one of these pickups yet, but I might today if I don't get my fruit punch flavored peeps. Well, please report back. Let us know how they are in a post-Easter episode soon.

Sure. Everyone else, see if you can find them in your hometown, and we'll talk to you after Easter. So long. Goodbye. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com

and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.