Podcast: The Ride - Armageddon: Les Effets Speciaux with Carlye Wisel

Episode Date: March 18, 2022

Carlye Wisel (Very Amusing, Eater) returns to the show to discuss this Walt Disney Studios Park "attraction". Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings Episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! drill into this massive asteroid of a topic with a returning Carly Weisel on today's podcast, The Ride, the theme park podcast where, because of today's attraction, we say, go ahead and close your eyes. Go ahead and fall asleep, because we assure you, you won't miss a thing. My name is Mike Carlson. Joining me as always, Jason Sheridan. Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm just soaking that all in. Thank you.

Because I was going to respond to whatever you were saying with, ah, the French theme parks have always been celebrated for their excellence. There is a certain attraction. Walt Disney Studios Park has always known a thing or two about excellence. Well, I really should have worked on a French accent for this. But Scott Garner, do you have a French accent? Do you have? Well, I did look up how to pronounce the attraction,

which if this is the place for that. Well, and I have another French pronunciation that might come into play later. But today we are talking about Armageddon. Laissez-faits-spé-siau. There we go. So I wanted to get that right. I'm sure it was still wrong in some way. Wait, with laisse? I probably said less, didn't I?

You said less. All right. Well, that's how I screwed up. Laisse, it's more of a... Yes, no, that's completely correct. Yeah, I took high school French. Laisse-faits-spé-siau. Okay, so I...

All right. I know 12... I did screw it up. I know 12 words. It's not the part I thought I would. 12 words from high school French. I'm sure I've repeated them on the show before. I know on Orangina, the Orangina drink.

That counts? Oh, yeah. Yes, of course. It's a French drink. I know how to say what time is it? Ask what time it is. Keller a teal. That's how, what time is it?

And you need to say that as American as possible. Keller a teal keller a teal that's how what time is it and you and you need to say that as american as possible keller a teal keller a teal keller a teal like a the nerd like a an american nerd would say it is how i'm saying it um so yeah that's the that's the did i do that pronunciation yeah yeah so so we'll be doing yeah i don't know there's not that much french stuff i guess well if we talk about disneyland paris i guess there is but sure yeah specifically like french stuff well it is where we are today we are talking but then this one probably requires explanation from the ground up that at the walt disney studios park in paris that for a long time there was an attraction based on Armageddon.

And we'll explain why this came up recently on Twitter with our guest today, who I'm so happy is returning. I believe your fifth Podcast the Right appearance, long overdue. I think so. I gotta get a punch card. Welcome to five.

We got something to give you on your sixth. Five-timers club. Five-timers club. I know. Five timers club. This is much more fun than doing SNL, I'm sure. Yeah, for sure. Stressful, I think, here in this breezy garage. From our podcast, Very Amusing, it's Carly Weisel.

Hi. Hello, hi. I am both thrilled and mildly upset that we have to discuss this attraction at length. Sorry to everyone listening. It's, oh boy. We're really going to polish a attraction at length. Sorry to everyone listening. It's, oh boy. We're really going to polish a turd here. It's going to make us as cantankerous as a latent life drunk horse in wells

trying to read commercial copies. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Well, yeah, you walked in. I mean, we've been trying to figure out the right thing to have you. And did we find it? I don't know. It's not it.

It's a horrible reason to have you. Who is this? Well, I don't know. Maybe it's not it. This is a horrible reason to have you. Who is this? Well, I feel like I come on here a lot and I'm yelling about things. And some people agree and some people don't. Sometimes in this very room or garage. Sure. And this is something that I don't believe I've ever heard a single person stand. I don't know anybody who's like, that thing was cool.

Well, unless, I don't know. Let's do the check. Is there a secret? Is there a hidden stand in this room? In the room? In this attraction, yeah. I've got a surprise. Oh, no.

No, I'm just kidding. This one sucks. This one is, I'm pretty forgiving. Like, I try to find, like, well, but I did like this. There's one little odd moment where I was like, well, that's an interesting. There's a lot of interesting stuff. I think it's the most forgiving word you could use. It's all interesting.

I'd say. Confusing is the more frank way of putting it. Oh, absolutely. Quite literally, because even going back and watching it, I couldn't view the translation screen in portions of it and did not know what they were saying. I mean, the translation screen alone is very much a choice. A lot of choices made. A lot of very confusing choices. Even the premise, I was like, that can't be what this is.

It is what it is. Okay, that is what they're setting us up for. Got it. Pretty baffling. I imagine it was, like, videos are tough to parse, but you did do this in person at one point in time. Oh yeah. And I will never live it down because I dragged my husband to Disneyland Paris.

It was my first visit there. I think it was 2016. So we took a full day to go do the parks, which he was already not on board with. And we were like Armageddon first ride. We saw at Walt Disney Studios. Let's give it a shot. Started there.

And then it kept waiting for the ride to start. And then we exited. Yeah. Oh, totally. Yes. Well, especially now, and we'll explain what it all is. But it is an attraction where you're in a a space transport vehicle essentially and there's stuff going on you see space through the screens and that is something that now in several cases

qualifies as a pre-show a kind of exciting pre-show in both galaxy's edge and the star cruiser experience but yeah you would you might watch this and go, so now the door's open and the ride starts. No, no, no. This was not a different situation in the early 2000s. This sufficed for them. Yeah. And this park was made because of a contractual obligation, essentially. The whole park was that they had made a promise to Paris, to the people of France. To the French government.

And that they, what is this deal where they had to give up the land if they didn't fill it with a park? Some. Yeah. Perhaps they should have. Yeah. Maybe if you don't have a good idea, although there's also the flip side,

because I genuinely was thinking, should they just not have, but now they have all these grand plans and I don't know how they're progressing, but that kind of makes you think well maybe you just put your foot in the door get a half park or less on the table and

then down the road you end up because this is going to be the home of Galaxy's Edge and Frozen stuff and what's the other Avengers Campus which is replacing what we're talking about. Do you, does that make sense? Like maybe it is good that they...

I mean, I went in November. That's the last time I was there to Disneyland Paris. And it's just, I mean, it was a dirt pile because so much of the park, you know, to build all those lands, they just had to raise so much. Then I went in and I walked around and went, oh, that's it now. That's it. There's nothing here

because it's all under construction. Were they using the vehicle, the Armadillo, to raise the ground up? It's out in front. It used to be out in front, I should say. The vehicle from Armageddon. Mike, why did you even say vehicle? We all know what the Armadillo is. Armadillo. Armageddon.

Armadillo. Armadillo, and I assume that's what harry stamp and the crew like bear and bear of course all the characters we know yeah i yeah and we and we of course also all know that this is a disney movie we i think we all we see the logo for armageddon and we all think disney we'll go straight to the it's definitely not just a it is a they happen to own it it's a late 90s touchstone movie okay it's a touchstone all right how much longer did touchstone go for i feel i don't i don't feel like it was long for this world and yeah i kind of didn't think about touchstone falling apart i don't know when that i feel like they just retired

the brand a few years later yeah i guess or just rolled into something else maybe they rolled it into mirror max because they bought mirror max i like touchstone i like seeing that little like circle go by in the bar and uh when you say i like touchstone you mean i like the logo logo that would happen before the movie i have a question for you does the what brings you more joy the touchstone logo or this attraction uh oh the logo the. All it's got to do is fill that three seconds and then like, I don't remember what anything Touchstone,

was Adventures in Babysitting Touchstone potentially? Maybe. Something I like is Touchstone. So like, it is, the Touchstone logo is a pre-show

for something good as opposed to this attraction. Is there something Spielberg-y? Yes, yeah. Probably. God, it's killing me. What is it? Why can't I name?

I guess Touchstone's not that great of a brand it why can't i name i guess i guess touchstone's not that great of a brand if i can't think of one but the only i like all these logos too but the only thing i remember as a kid was that i knew if it was new line cinema there was a good chance like the ninja turtles were coming after that and i remember that like they played a tape and i would be like new line cinema that's the company that makes ninja pearls oh they made lincoln apparently so a recent spielberg oh yeah it went longer than i thought i wild hogs of course of course of course i think nightmare before christmas and roger rabbit released under touchstone oh yeah pretty woman sister was old dogs the robin williams john travolta movie that i get confused with wild hogs that i don't know

and which one killed the other the sequel to the other old dogs made there be no wild hogs too i think oh okay i believe and then all and then old dogs has the travolta every little step music video with his daughter i think so yeah okay which if you've never seen it i highly recommend it oh yeah boy check it out do you want to um guess at the highest grossing touchstone film i see i have it in front of me somebody else mike carly what do you i would like to not guess no okay i would like for it to be pretty woman but pretty woman comes in at number five number one is signs oh interesting signs armageddon armageddon pearl harbor two and three so kind of the ones that showed up in the theme parks i feel like because uh pearl harbor was was kind of incorporated into the pre-show stuff at the studio tour in mgm studios it's in this a little in the pre in the

pre-show yeah this uh um before we dive into the attraction a little more, I am like, first of all, one thing is this attraction opened 20 years ago this week. So that makes it appropriate here to talk about, as did this entire park, the Studios Park next to Disneyland Paris proper, which is almost 30 years old.

Carly, you've been in the recent past and I feel like it seems like your experiences were pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're a fan well i would say that pandemic era disneyland paris is so it's different it's a different beast because if we're comparing everything on even playing field like we got the tokyo parks in here we we don't can't do that anymore you literally can't go to tokyo i don't even know how you would get into Hong Kong or Shanghai. There's not a chance. Is that right?

I don't know. I haven't looked into this at all. So much am I not thinking about this? You can't casually. I mean, I went to China December 2019. Like basically the last plane out, didn't realize it. And you still have to go to the Chinese consulate to get a visa to go into China. Just to go at all.

Just to go at all. Whoa, okay. So it wasn't easy to visit in the first place. Now, not a chance. So when you're looking at it, you're kind of like, we got Florida, we got California, we got Paris. Paris is the only like spice in the mix that we got. It's the only fun foreign one.

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. Unless the hotels are enough for you, but there's no rides at the hotels. I don't know if this will be the case as this episode comes out but when i started reading about this attraction hong kong was closed the hong kong park was closed because they had done oh like this like this week essentially yeah a few days ago a few days ago it was closed shanghai i think partially closed maybe the hotels and stores and the shopping area open okay oh the rides are down that weird what we had for a little bit interesting okay okay so this is like yeah if you want something that's not the

norm and you go to these places a lot yeah so it really shook it up because usually it's like look at all these foreign options and now it's paris or nothing and paris i'm someone who took the pandemic very seriously and so for me i felt much much safer being in Paris because there was a vaccine check that was required of everyone. Everyone was required to wear masks outdoors and indoors. Which when I went, I went twice last year, which sounds ridiculous. But I was like, I'm going to get back. I went over the summer and I went in November. I think I might have gone like late September, November.

Both areas, like we're still a little dicey to, you know, summer got okay for a second. It was great. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Cause they, I mean, they masked a hundred percent. I remember going into his apartment store,

which is usually a little loosey goosey and every single person was wearing a mask. Wow. So like going to the park was nice. Cause you could actually absorb the theming without even thinking about what was happening. Geez. Oh, that's great. Yeah.

So it painted Paris in this different light. But then again, I found myself screaming at someone in my family because I was so hungry because there was no food. That was my because I've spoken ill of Paris a lot. I'm the only one of the three of us who's done it. And there were things that I liked about it and that I will praise down the road. But the big obstacle was the food thing. And we did a whole episode about that, the village, their city walk,

and Disney, which I found miserable, just crushingly miserable. Did you find any way around? There's like not even, no sector keeper would be willing to exist. They'd be like like get me the fuck out of here somebody i guess i gotta i'm transferring out of this somebody else take this assignment yeah it's uh it's it's pretty grim did you find any ways around are there any

weird secret if you want to survive it in a culinary sense yes um and i found out about it too late but i realized the best thing to do is to completely exit property and go into the train station. Because the train station has like a, what is it like? Pret a manger or whatever those things are called. Like a little sandwich shop.

You find yourself in a position going, it's like, oh, thank God, a pret. Nice. Yes. Literally, yes. Something with standards. I mean, I had, I mean, this is off topic but i had maybe the worst disney meal i've ever had in my entire life at the disney's uh hotel new york art of marvel really oh wow my worst one also there i was wondering if you were gonna head for

california grill which it's insane they call the same thing. It's a very stuffy restaurant in the Disneyland Hotel proper. Awful, awful, inedible food for so much money. Yeah. And we waited forever. Miserable, miserable experience. What was up with this place? So everything else I ate was fine, edible. Like the line is edible.

I had a nice dinner at the Manhattan restaurant where you sit underneath a chandelier that looks like Asgard, which was very fun. So like I had a great meal there. But the downtown restaurant was all it was buffet style, but it was COVID. So they brought plates of it to your table. And so you didn't know what anything looked like. And you're just kind of out here taking a guess. And everything was themed to different downtown areas in Manhattan.

So there was quote unquote dim sum and there were like different cuisines from different places that have different you know like little italy and things like that and uh i honestly don't i don't know if i actually consumed any food at the meal because i didn't pick anything it was so bad that my mom asked for an allergy meal, which was a frozen microwave meal that took 20 minutes to arrive. Oh my God. Because she has a specific diet for her health, but even still was like, I can't eat this. You've made me feel bad.

I've started to wonder, like, were my wife and I, was I being a baby? Absolutely not. Yeah, it is bad. It's really bad there. Yeah, yeah. And you're just walking around that mall just like, what place do I get inedible ribs from? Where am I like, I just pick your poison.

There's nothing that seemed like, I know I'm not getting something good. It's just what can I survive with? Yeah. This kind of sounds like my parents' experience of like the dining options at Disney World in like 1990 where there's exactly all right i guess i'll eat another slice of pizza like it's like i guess i have another hamburger like you know yeah which it doesn't it is not like that anymore and nowhere like that's been a huge change in especially disney but i'd say universal to some extent universal seemingly

upping their food game in Orlando the last few years. A friend of mine just posted a photo of ramen that she got at Islands of Adventure. What? Quick service ramen. Where? Their CityWalk has a bun stand serving fusion bao buns. I did. That's

not very good, but it's a nice idea. Nice, yeah. We applaud the effort. Thank you for trying. I ate worse things at Disney Paris, so it's a nice idea nice yeah we applaud the effort thank you for trying thank you not well i ate worse things at disney paris so it's it's okay uh the food in the park is better if it's open if the food is open then you're good but everything's closed everything's closed so that hasn't changed because i was there in 2014 and there's nothing nothing related to pandemic then so like what why why is it always like this what's up with this place honest to god I have no idea and this time I was like I'm gonna

go prepare it like I'm gonna beat the system and I made table service reservations in the park during the day and so we ate and the food wasn't that bad we went to kind of a Moroccan restaurant, which was shockingly good or edible. But the other, I mean, it's a crapshoot. I've been four times now, and the other two times I went, I had at least one meal that was pick and mix candy.

Oh, so like how Mike and I eat regularly. Oh, yes. All that cereal around here. I waddled in this time. Like I know where I'm getting my lunch at. And I went and all of it is gone. Just because they're like pandemic. All of the candy is gone.

Oh no. Wow. Wow. This is, that's like play testing for their, uh, kind of domestic COVID cutbacks in dining. That seems to be the,

the wave seems to be, uh, slowly rolling back like things slowly opening up more here in america right you would think fran like you would think that would be a thing because for a famously uh maligned park you would think that would be a draw at least for the older people that were skeptical of the park in general like oh well it does have some nice places to eat like you would think that might've been a good draw, but I guess they never considered it.

I don't know. I've even gone to Walt's, which is like their, it's not Club 33, but it's their like finest dining restaurant in the park. And you're on the second floor of Main Street and it's very beautiful. And I think I spent over $60 on a burger. Oh my God.

And they gave me nine fries. Is it exclusive? It is. No. Okay. So you can just make a reservation. Well, to people who love wasting money. Yeah, that's what,

it's like so crazily more expensive than fine dining in the great city 20 minutes away. Absolutely. But this time, so the last trip we went on in November, we went to a sandwich place and we got little baguette sandwiches

from this man who slapped butter on the bread and then put on a bunch of meat and I carried them in a brown bag to the park and I ate them on a bench and it was heaven. Wow. So that's the move. Just bringing it from entirely,

it cannot be Disney controlled. They have just whittled the taste out of anything. You need off-land food. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's nuts. Did you find stuff to like about, that's, I guess, a question, because the bones of the Magic Kingdom-style park,

I think, are wonderful wonderful but then there's that that food and lack of staffing drawback uh and then paris is all i'm sorry the studios park is a whole mess but it's improved how's it how's it feeling in 2021 in did you were you charmed by anything about yeah it definitely feels on the up and up um when i've been before it's like oh right this is the one the company is embarrassed about like you forget about it yeah but they're just sinking so much money into walt disney studios park that it feels like like there's more to come and it felt very optimistic okay and i also had a really nice time like i really appreciated some of the things they do differently like just the way it's laid out i got lost at one

point because the the left side of the park is just who knows just all over the place you just keep walking and walking and you'd like never reach anything and then they had like such good character meet and greets and fun costumes and i went to some mexican restaurant and i got a margarita in disneyland which was very fun. Sure. Oh, you're talking in the main, oh interesting. Yeah, like in Disneyland. Right, yes. That was where my enthusiasm went where I was getting a beer in the saloon in Frontierland.

Yeah. Like that feels pretty good. So that's a, yeah, yeah, that's a genuine. It was fun. I had a good time. I think once they build out the other half and they have something new like with the Frozen attraction, stuff that we don't have in America, I think it'll be I think it's i mean i think it's gonna come around they're on it's on the way can you get a beer in tokyo in the main park or no i don't sure we've all talked about this and i know the answer somewhere but i can't remember i only recall doing it in

disney sea how many parks and how many magic kingdomss can you drink and make Walt's skeleton cry? That's my question, really. Is it just Florida and Paris? They're sinning. They're sinners. His old bones tear up still in the ground. Carly, let me ask you, because I had a very hard time finding the current answer to this question. Can you still smoke within the parks in disneyland because i mean

i wrote down a joke about the french smoking inside the waiting area for armageddon like you can hear their disinterest and their dangling cigarettes and i was like what is the smoking policy in france and as of 2017 i found an article uh just labeled disney labeled Disneyland Paris to enforce use of designated smoking areas. So they had smoking areas and they were not in. But we were still just lighting up everywhere as of a few years ago. I don't know if COVID has changed that. I don't smoke. I don't want to smoke.

I've maybe had like one cigarette in my life, but I would smoke a cigarette on Pirates of the Caribbean in any park and be thrilled. Yeah, that's cool. I would drive down right now to Anaheim and smoke a cigarette on Pirates. And it would be one of the best experiences of my life. I didn't see as much smoking. I don't know if the masks were a deterrent because they were required outdoors both times I was there.

But I do remember the time I went before that, which was a few years ago. I mean, I believe the trash cans still have ashtrays on top. Right. So they're not really saying no if you're just laying out everything you might need to smoke wherever you'd like. Yeah, there were some TripAdvisor reviews, too, of what seemed like Americans or British going like, I was in line for something and someone just started smoking in the queue next to me i'm like uh-huh yeah that sounds right yeah i'm kind of glad they didn't because they had all those partitions which i feel like could

have very easily caught fire oh yeah right like in a fantasyland switchback yeah yeah yeah i didn't even think about it out of yeah such a hazard but yeah i mean people still be smoking just but not to the comical extent i once witnessed not to the looney tunes level yeah smoking a pack five five at once in bugs buddy's mouth turning dark green yeah yeah yeah and a snooty laughter there was a lot of snooty laughter with cigarettes. They only light up when the national anthem starts to play. That's their version of putting their hand on their heart. Here's a Studios Paris question,

because there's something... I've thought about proposing an episode on this, and I don't know if there's enough there, if people want to hear it, but I'm really intrigued by this. So one of the weird things about the Studios Park is that opening day attractions, Armageddon is one, and another one is the Studio Backlot Tour. Common thing at Universal Hollywood and the Florida Studio Parks that opened, where you go take a tour of the studio, the working studio. This was never a studio.

Nothing has ever been filmed here other than one weird thing i found which i'll talk about at the end but uh so you're touring a non-existent backlot and this has always been a weird why is this there we didn't even do it like we knew we'd already experienced enough misery like we know what this is gonna be um but they changed it yeah now it's something called Cars Road Trip and it's still okay for people who know the Disney World Tour that culminates

in a thing called Catastrophe Canyon where you go into kind of a red rock canyon you experience a big disaster scene and then see how it was fake and how they did it behind the facades but it's explosions and a gas truck and all this stuff and they had that but now they've made that part of behind the facades. But it's explosions and a gas truck and all this stuff.

And they had that. But now they've made that part of a Cars thing where it seems like all they've done is put a big smiling mouth on the gas truck. That's right, yeah. And in the concept art, too, the big Mack truck is on fire and smiling. Happily, it's a depiction of that this is fine dog yeah twitter that's right yeah it's a tableau of that was this weird thing going did

you get to experience this yes i did wait in line for this oh boy oh great i did wait in like a 25 minute line geez wow what can you tell us? I mean, I needed to know. There's a loose narrative, which I have to like, I have to applaud them for, for them figuring out a way to make this thing cars themed. Yeah.

But it was very loose. Like it wasn't, it wasn't very compelling, but I'll tell you, I went with my mom and she had a great time. Oh, that's cool. She was delighted by it.

Okay. That's something. So, you know, all that stuff happening in Catastrophe Canyon doesn't quite make sense in the car's road trip purview, but...

What's happening before that? Yeah, that's my question. I think I watched a video and there's like narration or do you get videos on, like custom videos or no? I was severely under caffeinated when I did it but

I do remember that I think there was audio and I think they were basically like we're going on a road trip to different stops and so I think Catastrophe Canyon was like a sightseeing destination. Oh god. Where everything explodes. What was it before like would they be like they just

say a name like empty nest was filmed here was the lie like was that how it worked before i don't really know i know that the big centerpiece was a bunch of sets from another i want to say a touchstone movie called rain of fire okay i do i do remember this now yeah matthew mcconaughey and the dragons in london is that right oh yeah it's a recreation of london i this now yeah matthew mcconaughey and the dragons in london is that right oh yeah it's a recreation of london i didn't know matthew mcconaughey i always knew you got a crazy beard and a shaved head so they would lie about reign of fire having shot there yes they did have the sets but i just plopped them in this french field okay so it was not but it was the real things from a movie that people didn't really see or like that was a late late summer 2001 2002 release i just remember like getting ready to like

go back to school and but seeing so they put all the marketing there was no no other movies like coming out seemingly and so all the commercials were like and you gotta check out rain of fire folks i have zero i can't picture a poster i don't know anything about and you're like well i'm going back to school everybody's gonna be talking about a rain of fire but i'm not gonna make any friends this year if i don't my media diet was much different from yours growing up I mean I was For a few years there I was an Access Hollywood Every night kind of kid

I was a weird Not E.T.? Not Entertainment Tonight? He was very discerning No I like the electronic charisma of Pat O'Brien Oh yeah What happened when the tapes came out? I like the electronic charisma of Pat O'Brien. Oh, that's so weird. Oh, yeah.

Were you? Yeah, Pat O'Brien. What happened when the tapes came out? I was very disappointed in Pat. All the Access Hollywood hosts have tapes. Billy Bush had tapes. Oh, yeah. You're right.

Everybody's gotching. Yeah. I don't remember what the Pat O'Brien tapes was. Bad, right? It was really bad. Well, it was just he was revealing some fetishes. And there was some explicit language. So it's available online if you want.

I won't repeat anything. We won't tweet it. We're not going to lead you there. This is not a thing I think about a lot. I'm just saying that I have some recollection of what it is. He didn't automate it. Just get an Entertainment Weekly subscription. It didn't automate that.

I was an Entertainment Weekly kid. Oh, me too. Oh, yeah. Oh, and what't dawn on me that that would have... I was an Entertainment Weekly kid. Oh, me too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, and what does Owen Gleiberman think? We were very invested in Owen Gleiberman's takes. We seemed... What were you doing that was not this?

I think, honestly, like sneaking candy. Stealing? I was reading Jane magazine. Okay. The best women's magazine that's ever existed that was my only career goal, and they went out of business the year before I was reading Jane magazine. Okay. The best women's magazine that's ever existed. That was my only career goal. And they went out of business the year before I could get an internship. Oh, really?

Yeah. Whoa. Wow. So all I do now is just me grasping at straws because Jane magazine no longer exists. You're trying to have a Jane-esque vibe in whatever venues. I mean, I had one career goal and it went out the window and I'm just seeing what happened since then. Can you? That was started

by someone notable, right? Didn't? Yes. Oh, why am I blanking on her name? I know this. Hmm.

That's a good gotcha question. What's her name, Jane? Jane Pratt? Yes. Who's Jane Pratt? I know that name. I don't remember what Jane Pratt was.

Yes, and then she had XOJane.com, which was like a website version of it, but it was recent and it wasn't the same can you reboot it

with can you talk is she alive yeah but I mean not to can you get the IP I'm sure a venture capital firm that probably

owns the IP would love to partner with you I mean magazines are not a sustainable form of income because like print media plus advertising not great but ideally if they rebooted it I mean, magazines are not a sustainable form of income. Oh, sure. Fair.

Because print media plus advertising, not great. But ideally, if they rebooted it, I would run the other direction from theme parks. So you would abandon theme parks completely. If Jane Magazine came back? You would set the ride on fire you were on and run to. Oh, yeah. I would extinguish my cigarette on the side of the boat and then just pounce well if you put it out there have you put it out there publicly that you were willing you want to reboot this no because uh as someone currently in the publishing industry i

understand why it's not it's not the train you want to jump on fair enough yeah yeah maybe you can reboot the her talk show she had a talk show on Fox. Oh, wow, really? And she was the founder of Sassy Magazine. Yeah, Sassy was OG Jane Magazine. Oh, okay. Wow, wow. Sassy was cool, too.

I just know that sketch, that Hartman's, that might be one of the, that's a top 10 for me. Which one was that again? I don't know. He's the editor of Sassy Magazine. Is that one that you hosted? Sassy's Sassiest Boys,

where he draws a little map of if the SS Sassy went to Sassy Island and I won't recap this full sketch Wow well we've all said the magazines we liked. Yeah you're learning so much about us every week well I'm really excited

to hear about Cars Road Trip. I'm glad it was at least passed a mom approval test. There was this, oh God, I have to mention this. There was this like food truck, but also I don't know, to get real heady with it, I don't know where the food truck landed in the vehicle world of cars. Like, I don't know if this food truck was a car

who was like serving human food out of its car self. I'm not sure. I didn't really think about it too existential, it did have it was sponsored by baby bell cheese and i feel like they had these little like baby bell cheese sandwiches with cars imprints on them oh and i didn't get one and i saw somebody when i was so jealous and i still am good yeah that's i like those cheeses savior in this weird place it's like a bunch of fun cars food that we don't have in America. Did the car have a face?

Did the food truck have a face? I feel like it did. Okay. So there was a human inside the guts of a car. Yes, standing inside the anthropomorphic car, hypothetically. Like in the intestines. Yeah. Kind of pushing its arms out through the intestines of the car

to hand Babybel cheese sandwiches. Yeah, serving hot little spreadable cheese sandwiches what is a food truck to you if you're being lit up too much don't even don't even worry your pretty little head with it it is too much that's what what do you got today you just you just went through the living room where my son watches uh pixar movies all day and the like if you i think a lot of parents have to be this way like if you have cars on a lot you just you have a new question every viewing there's not one time that it's on and it's on hundreds of times yeah uh and i like the new one for me is early on there's a race going on it's showing everything around the stadium and then uh there's a bathroom and the men

are just going straight in and but the women it's a big long line you know like sporting events are sure what are the cars doing in the bathroom what what does a car need to do does anyone have any fluid flush crass ideas about what it is i suppose like fluid It's like fluid, but so that, because they like eat oil at flows. I think they go and eat oil and gas. Yeah, they do. So it's half, but they're all like half, well, they're not half human,

but there's, they're human car, are they like, are they defecating out the tailpipe or something? Of what? Defecating what? What's coming out? Exhaust?

I guess it's just exhaust and oil. But they exhaust in front. They're exhausting all the time. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yes. It's not a private matter. That's why I'm saying it's probably like some sort of version of like excrement. Or like an oil change.

You drain the oil. It's like you end up with like a gunky buildup in the car. Yeah, I mean. The car's going by gunky build-up in the car yeah i mean they don't know either they i mean they spent a lot of those movies cursing their existence whatever sick god would make them this way it's what it should be is just full and analyze i would just watch documentaries made in the cars verse but why just why yeah there wasn't there didn't someone say that there was there's evidence in the movies of humans on the planet no really oh like they're fossils right or poems or something

i can't remember what maybe it was a joke i can't remember but i feel like there's somebody pointed out something in one of the movies that there's like evidence that humans did live on this version of the earth at one point. Jeez. So I don't know. Maybe that was a joke. I'm trying to remember what it was. I wonder what the evidence is. If you're listening and you know, let us know.

All I want to do is think about cars. I'm broken by this question that you posed. I can't go on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really disturbing. I'm not happy with any answer.

I mean, if they are just like, you know, but they need, but the oil, maybe it's like us. We eat things and then some of it we use to power us, but other, some is waste. But what's waste for a car? Don't they use all of it? All right, look, I think we're all a little freaked out. Maybe we should get back to the rock solid storytelling of 1998's Armageddon. Clarity, simple ideas. What are you looking up, Mike? Bones?

All the times that there's bones in cars. There's an article here that says the disturbing theory explains Pixar's cars, but my phone is taking too long to have it load. So we can come back to it. We don't have to do it. When we get to Radiator Springs Racers, we'll ignore the ride and focus on all this. But what we came here to do, let me explain why we're doing this with you. I was looking at Twitter, and our friend Kevin Perger, Defunctland, put out a prompt.

And it was this. I am once again asking for suggestions for the worst theme slash amusement park ride you have ever been on that is now defunct. I saw you responded and the response was Armageddon at Walt Disney Studios Park. Yeah, did not hesitate. Yeah, you knew it. Oh, yeah. In coming up with that decision, you you had no you didn't think about any other candidates it was like what color is the sky just can't even if i tried to think of

another attraction couldn't even think of one wow wow uh uh it i got so excited because i like oh that's right that we haven't done that have we what an insane thing and i feel so similar just baffled by it being there in person doesn't't help. Let me add that Lentesta jumped on and added a response to you, this. I left wondering if it was some sort of idiomatic French parody. It was not. It was not. It was not.

So with this pile of opinions about this ride, well, this is podcast the ride magnet. I think we got to dive in. Were you guys guys familiar with it you knew this existed at least but maybe hadn't done the dive on it no i don't think i actually yeah i was new the video was when i was watching i go i don't think i've ever watched this before so it was on the radar but it was not i was not well versed sure no i didn't know the specifics i knew it was there i had heard it was bad and i briefly remembered mgm studios in florida there was a little armageddon thing like like videos or a walkthrough or something i don't think it lasted very long they had a making of

space that would and things would change out but you got, after, in the Twitter flurry that followed Carly, you got a response from somebody. Well, explain what the- Yeah, so there was,

in the thread, there is someone who is responding and fully being gaslit by everyone on the thread who's like, that was never in Florida. And then they found a map

that showed it and they also called into my podcast, very amusing. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to put a pin in this. This will be answered in the future i can't tell you where when and this is that date but there was you were absolutely right there was a version of this i

guess in studios in florida yeah not i i don't i remember seeing it very briefly it's not fully i don't think it was fully built out. Like, it wasn't a room. It's not the space station and all this stuff. Yeah, I don't think it had the full effects. It wasn't the room like Twister or Backdraft, which this is kind of reminiscent of. Do you think they did anything? Do you think they showed the, here's the history of special effects which happened in this, or the little Michael Clark Duncan appearance.

I think if they were going to, I mean, they put it in the American parks. I think it was probably a lot more props and a lot of montages with the big movie stars that are in Armageddon, but absent of the, in this attraction. Yes.

Other than the one, you got one. You got one. You've got a great performer show up. And I'll give the Russian guy, you know, that guy. Is he in the movie, by the way? Is it Stormare? Is it Peter Stormare? Who's the guy?

Is it Stormare? That's who I looked like in a blurry. He is very much a Stormare type. Yeah, I'm not totally sure. I don't know. so all right so there was some there was a little making of attraction uh but maybe not the full thing i also recalled strongly the rumor that this was going into california adventure and that it was maybe being considered as an opening either as an opening day or as what do we draft in quickly in the the immediate decay of superstar

limo uh because there's that big space back there with it's that there's that weird building that was the who wants to be a millionaire thing and now it's like a they're just committed to being a store i guess it's a marvel outlet it's a marvel thing now i haven't seen it as a marvel thing okay okay um but i i recall seeing in some online forum, well, there's a lot of good buzz about this Armageddon thing that's going into Paris. So maybe they'll just draft that quickly into California Adventure.

And that was still in my head when I walked up to the attraction in 2014 was whatever commenter said, I heard this is good. 2014. Yeah, yeah. That is good. 2014. Yeah, yeah. That long after. Wow.

So I went in actually not knowing it was a disaster. This could have been like, oh, they actually took the universal, this formula of a little bit of behind the scenes and then you're thrust into the thing and took it to the next level. That is what I was actually expecting when I walked in the room that day.

As one, I mean, the facade is very, like the logo is very enticing, and you're like, this is gonna be fun and adventurous, and you are truly standing in two rooms. And that's it. And one really claustrophobic hallway, I remember connecting,

it's this really depressing file through to, like it's a long walk to that other does the sign look like it was a little bit dca though as far as like a thin like not so okay that's my it's a little it's a little small on my screen here but this is this view kind of encapsulates what this park was like at least at the time where here's this like kind of like that's the tower it's the old building and yeah and then the armageddon logo is really just just kind of flat it's very flat plus you're on and you're looking at the back of the tower of terror which almost no park besides this do you have a view of and the back of it looks like nothing yeah they didn't yeah they didn't like put the hollywood tower sign on the other side it's just blank i think

it's still that way because they didn't expect to be doing that when you think about when this park opened this is it's a really depressing opening lineup where there's no tower terrier obviously there's no ratatouille there's no there's not this crush coaster which you said you like yeah i love cross um that seems cool yeah yeah wait that's another thing about like uh yeah that that's that seems pretty neat that reads in a ride through and this sign does not have the outsider art appeal of the rock and roller coaster sign with the big cd yes yeah now that is it's yes it's at least so far in that direction that it is amusing. Yeah, it went from being like, okay, yes, CD is how we all listen to music in 2002 to an interesting acronym when it closed in 2019.

Well, it's like how those, you know, you go to the 50s hotel in Disney World or the 50s wing of pop century and these big records and jukebox it became an accidental 2002 period piece way after the fact um but again but you know what i mean you bring up a good thing because these things were these odd facades in the back of tower there all kind of in the same zone uh which in our rock and roller rock and roller coaster episode i i called aerosmith alley it really is like a full aerosmith zone which is the only thing that makes me sad that this is gone now yeah aerosmith had two attractions yeah what a stronghold yes my god if you don't recall that they did the theme song of armageddon i don't want to miss a thing of

course in the beginning. And you would hear their music, I feel like, in this whole. So it kind of was like what is now going to become Marvel and Avengers was the Avengers of rock. For sure, yeah. A team up of the five greatest musicians on the planet Earth. Wait, that's a thing that I looked i looked up and i'll probably screw up i'll screw this up uh uh because i screwed up the first pronunciation but here i looked at how to say this in french

les mauvais garçons de boston the bad boys of boston of course in french If you wanted to Engage with some French people Talk about the best of American culture They were saying that phrase They were saying that phrase every day When they were out there Can I shout out to a friend of the show Julia Prescott for getting me

Joey Kramer, the drummer from Aerosmith's Coffee As a gift Oh What's that called again? I'm blanking on it. It's some rock thing. Wow. Joe Kramer's Rock Coffee.

Yeah, let's call it. If I can toss out just a big picture thing about Armageddon, Le Effect Special. It opened in March 2002 and closed in March 2019, which is 17 years. It was open until 2019? 2019. Like there's a world where I had an iPhone 11

and this thing was still open? Correct. You should have very clear footage on your phone. Oh yeah, because you can look at the low light. There's videos of this that are immaculate actually on YouTube. Very good HD. Rockin' and roastin' coffee. Rockin' and roastin' coffee. Thank you. Wow, very good hd rocket and roast and coffee rocket and roasting

coffee thank you wow very good i don't know why i should have joey julia and i probably could have gone through and made a list but the thing that stuck out to me i was like 17 that's bigger than something right and i looked it up this lasted longer than horizons. Horizons was around less time. Even if you combine the first run of Horizons and then it closed for a little while and would operate seasonally. And then of course it closed on the eve of the new millennium.

If you add up the two runs of Horizons, it is less than the one run of this attraction. Oh my God. It's one of the longer running Disney attractions, weirdly. It beat a lot. It beat like, you know, probably not interspace. It beat like, you know, flying saucers. There's ones that people are fond of that it beat.

Yeah, boy. They must just have such a need to put people somewhere in so few attractions that they had to keep it open. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just no choice choice because there's very little to do with this park because as we've discussed now they're starting to close them because they have some better stuff and they're building will be great in the future yeah yeah

currently nothing yeah boy uh uh it's grim grim decor wise um and and the the dated well it also leads to like look armageddon was a big movie, but the cultural footprint of it by 2019 is very slim. Yeah. Well, good news, everyone. Not the size of Texas. If you want to check out Armageddon and refresh yourself, boot up your Fubo app.

That's where it's currently streaming. We're all Fubo heads here. Yes, so much not Disney is this that it's not on Disney+. Yo, yeah, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, weird. Fubo. I feel like we've name checked a lot of them, but I'm not sure we've ever mentioned Fubo before.

Fubo, I think, is a mix of on demand and some live channels. Like Pluto. Fubo is a Pluto. Well well let's not denigrate pluto yeah i know i know solid yeah yeah pluto i just found the bob there's a 24 7 bob ross channel on pluto and it's really it is really relaxing i never really sat down and watched that show and i was like oh wow now i see. Now I get it. Very calm. One thing just before we move on from, well, who knows? Can we ever really move on from discussion of the bad boys of Boston? Of course, yes.

But I did find a video that affirms that the man himself visited Aerosmith Alley when Aerosmith Alley was still intact um and this is from the uh this is from the Instagram account of Miss Leva Little and that's uh that's Liv Tyler that's his daughter so they went together and in Stephen recently uh when was this I thought or maybe I'm thinking 2018 2018 yeah okay um so a madcap tour, a mad hatted tour by Steven Tyler of Harris Smith Alley. Daddy, where are we? Oh my God. We're at Disney World in France, and there's a rock and roller coaster, but there's this.

And live. Live. He means Armageddon. This is going to take a minute. He's running over the turnstiles. There's Armageddon character posters. He's tripping. He's moving fast for an older man.

It's her. It's Liv, his daughter. daughter he makes a I'll get you a face yeah yeah he's like he should have I mean first of all I agree he should have played what a movie that would have been him glue's voice as live live if it's your fictional absentee father

it's your fictional absentee father it's your real life this park is a simulacra of a movie studio uh and this video is a simulation of a father taking his daughter to disney park all it took was everyone getting very famous and being able to use this as social media content yeah they got it done and pictures and footage of to use this as social media content. Yeah, that's right. They got it done. And pictures and footage of themselves in this park also assisted. Let's hang out, just you and me, at that park where there's visual depictions of both of us. That's nice. You would do it with your parent.

We'd all do it if we were depicted. Yeah. You know, I'll say this about Steven Tyler. He loves that they're in theme park stuff like he's like i think he's the only one in the band that's excited about it i could be wrong yeah but like i think joe perry turns his nose up a lot at like you know the the rock and roll music yeah and but and the stuff that's not like blues i feel like joe perry doesn't like jaded the song that we like yes the most i feel like he doesn't like all that stuff Perry doesn't like Jaded, the song that we like the most. I feel like he doesn't like all that stuff.

He doesn't like pop music as much. He wants to do 12-bar blues with Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper and the Hollywood Vampires, and that's it. I went back and listened to the Rock and Roller Coaster episode to see what had come up in this neck of the woods. All the same things we're talking about. Everything you just said. Every bit of what you just said. And it's also an interesting window in our podcast chronology

because there's so much naivete on your part, Mike, where you bring up Aerosmith and maybe you're expecting a little snark. And in fact, we're both, Jason and I are both like, oh, I kind of like Aerosmith. Or I kind of like the song Jaded. You go, oh, so you mean it's the finest song ever made and I can bring up the Bad Boys of Boston in every episode from now on? It's nice to see like the creative spark.

That's like the conception of the talk almost. That's where the spark was magic. And I was like, yes, more please. Your heart is glowing. Yeah. Oh my God. They seem so down. Did we talk about Jaded being played at school dances?

Because that's the memory I'm having right now. I don't think so, actually. Oh, really? I feel like, because it would have come out. Did I, in that episode, did I talk about the fact that I was going, I went to a high school dance with a girl, and I don't want to miss a thing came on. You did, yes.

I did say this, okay. But yes, you're finished. But she rolled her eyes at it. She was like, this sucks. This song sucks. And I was like, what? What's wrong with you? You're a lot in life.

You're still experiencing. Any feelings about Aerosmith, Carly? No, I mean, I will say every time I go on Rock and Roller Coaster, I'm like, they do have a robust discography. I have a new respect for them every time. Hits in a lot of decades, except for the last couple. But a lot more than most bands. No preteen memories all tied up in their songs, though.

Okay. Yeah. I wish. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. I'm upset, but that's okay. It'll deal. During that whirlwind tour of the Armageddon campus,

you get to see, this is the big decoration outside of this building, are the individual character posters, because Stephen takes Liv to go see her character, who is, of course, Grace. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know Grace. We know the name.

And we pass by a big poster. This is a picture I took when I was there. It was the mundanity of a huge poster of Steve Buscemi. And above it, it says his character's name, Rockhound. Yes. Go to Disney Parade. Pay as much as for the Castle Park and see a big poster of Rockhound. Fantastic.

That stuff is all good. I feel like if the ride wasn't even there it would be better actually just posters and like the sign of armageddon and then you go that was fun to take picture with a poster yeah get a picture of me with aj you know ben affleck's lead leading man character aj mr animal crackers himself the most romantic scene and then oh yeah well and do we talk about the affleck the commentary track that everybody probably knows about i know i don't know about this oh really there's a i think it's on the armageddon commentary and i don't know if affleck is drunk or not but he's like

just talking about armageddon but just mocking it like crazy he's just like going back and forth with the dialogue like oh yeah that makes a lot of sense we're going to train drillers to go into space we're not going to train astronauts right he's just like and it's much funnier than what i'm doing here but he's relentlessly picking apart the logic of like the dialogue in the scenes it's gone around a few times because he would have recently have won an oscar for writing movies i'm sure yeah oh yeah uh-huh yeah yeah yeah he has some clout he can say that stuff it is very funny um so the outside is spectacular this this we all look great yeah yeah it's wonderful olivera smith alley is great uh as excited as steven but then you get inside and you go into a pre-show

it's we get very universal studios from here they very much are borrowing a universal i feel like it's an insult to universal studios to say that this is universal studios because those things are so much but yeah yeah yeah yeah and twister look like you know they're bringing their a game yes two other things that stuck around for a while but anytime i rode them the crowd always seemed like oh that was cool like that was cool to see you know stuff fall down stuff explode like the effects the music that sort of thing i understand why i saw this and this both um pretty successful movies uh too yeah lesser hits than armageddon but a twister i think stuck in the popular consciousness for a while yeah i suppose yeah backdrop less so i think we found that weird that there's a backdraft thing i think a better show is a better show people just explosions are kind of uh pun not intended

universal like always popular yeah yeah which this does have but you go into this room and it's one of these where here's a guy what are you you're from the studio you represent the director you're a coordinator unclear unthemed basically just a room with a bunch of monitors so much french yeah so much french a lot of french yeah there's a lot of standard definition footage there's a lot of three by four screens and there's translation like three different there's two screens with translations on it and three different languages each i believe on the screen yeah yeah okay uh yeah so a lot to a lot to look at um and you watch a video it's well it's explained to you that you're going to be in a scene where i'm sorry you're getting on a russian space station

and so i guess the scene in the russian space station is um it's in orbit and 170 plain clothes people not in astronaut gear from all places all around the world are all just in regular clothes standing around not bub holding anything right that's what space stations are filled with just generally yeah like one to two hundred random people who just came in to escape the Sun for like 20 minutes yeah yeah no space is for it's for commit it's for scientists and astronauts and Pete Davidson that's what so yeah I, it's for, commit, it's for scientists and astronauts and Pete Davidson. That's what space is for. So, yeah, no, it's one of these, you're going to be in a scene and remember to be scared and you're getting your little, like, low down.

But then you watch a thing about the history of special effects and their definition of this is like anything, I mean, anything that happens. A fan is a special effect, but that happens yeah a fan is a special effect but also all of star wars is a special effect like it's the the full gamut you know yeah that's right it seems like an actor acting as a special effects or something like because it's fake like that's how broad their definition is yes. Makeup is a special if it's brought there specially. So you see a really unfocused montage. That's a bunch of everything that qualifies as effects and everything that

Disney could like get the rights to at this time, which is among the things I spotted. Rocketeer inspector gadget. Live action inspector. Live action. Matthew Broderick Inspector Gadget Not the French Stewart Not French Stewart no Darby O'Gill and the Little People

One of the great special effects Films 98 Mighty Joe Young You see Eddie Valiant Falling and then Mickey joins Him but then they cut before a certain Other character joins him They but then they cut before a certain other character joins you. They don't have the rights to right.

Joins him. So, you know, bunch of which Jason, you're like dating it and saying it's still around in 2019. Who in 2019 is watching this? Like, really?

Are they? So they use special effects in movies. It's very educational because you know we've talked about universal eventually got is like kind of gotten rid of a lot of that aspect of everything so 2019 i'm trying to was there anything i went back to have closed don't know not too long ago yeah it closed for transformers yeah is that right yeah i think that was before i started doing this, which was 2015. I'm just wondering what the last

version of this... I guess Animal Actors is still behind the scenes. Kind of. But by and large... They have one cordoned off. They have one quarantined making of the movies. That's the last thing left in this genre of ride.

Yeah, they're mostly gone. Are you fond of any of this, Carl? Is there a behind-the-scenes attraction that strikes you? I think the studio tour is very good. And I'm not just saying that because of the company that I'm in. But I think every time I'm on it, I'm like, this is not my thing. I like it. And there's enough of those.

I mean, the big things that happen in King Kong. Yeah, and the little. It's so great. It's half and half with fun stuff and then a little bit of. Yeah. The subway scene. Great. Yeah.

Yeah. I know it's going to happen every time, but I'm always delighted. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. But, you know, this? No. Yeah, what happens is just so. Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Before you get into the room where nothing happens, this montage ends, and it ends with the Death Star blowing up, and then it cuts to... And then the smoke dissolves,

or the fire dissolves, and Michael Clarke Duncan... You're greeted by Michael Clarke Duncan, who says, like, Woo! Oh, boy. Or, woo, oh boy, ordinarily a massive explosion like that could really hurt a guy. You mean the death star?

Yeah, I say so. Might hurt a guy. Yeah, yeah, he's right. I don't think he knew what was, they weren't gonna put in an explosion. Oh, okay. Not like the biggest explosion that ever happened. A moon-sized star base blowing up.

We would, yeah. Oh, boy, that was close. So anyway, Michael Kirk Duncan, and this is the biggest thing about how long this thing ran. This attraction ran for seven years after the death of Michael Kirk Duncan. Right. There's the only way you and I saw it

was well past his demise that's crazy they would just take it out it doesn't add really anything i mean i guess then you're removing his memory yeah but it's just it's just weird though and with it there's no acknowledgement of it and i feel like you're right but like with any other this is probably like the least paid attention to in the disney company you know what i mean like no one was even paying attention before when he was alive no one was paying attention after so like if it was a higher profile thing i people might have gone oh you know we'll do something in there maybe as a little if we'll leave it as a remembrance or but there were there was some so there would be some thought

is what i'm saying versus i don't even know if anybody remembered he was on there because this is probably the most forgotten attraction in any in any park yes quite literally probably i mean it's got to be in the top three i would think yeah i mean i forgot it until you you tweeted about it um which maybe shouldn't have been you know you you condemned yourself to reliving it here i mean it's like it really is kind of like unpacking a trauma yeah well it did we'll talk about our i think both of our spouses said some it was like all right things are a little tense after this thing happens uh what jason what are you well i was just there was one moment watching someone's uh you know camcorder footage of this and i just thought it was so odd in this room there's just a moment where like

first off it's showing it starts to show footage of armageddon and you're like you're going to be on the space station the the asteroid is coming for the space station uh that footage again the aspect ratio was kind of driving me a little nuts i know in a montage it's going to jump around but later when they're talking about the attraction you are about to go on it was like a letterboxd like a letterboxd uh scenes from armageddon and then it cut to full screen and it's just a very close-up shot of the colonel and then uh that's storm air possibly yes he's been out in space just a little bit too long is the english translation of what they're saying in this moment and it just seemed like such an

odd composition of like all right we got a big shot of this guy's face and then we're translating what's going on and then again stepping back and look at the bigger picture i'm like okay so the characters we've established we have the actor michael clark duncan the ship's computer of course and then colonel andropov we all remember i'm all your favorites are there um so michael clark duncan says a bunch of stuff uh uh he he says uh you're gonna come face to face with a rock with a really bad attitude and then he says can i get a little fresh air please and then he gets hit with a fan and then talks over a fan i should have seen that one coming here on the special effects stages you have to be ready for anything so it's a kooky the set's coming to life. I am happy seeing this guy having fun and getting to be himself,

especially post his death. It reminds you, like, this guy was good. He was great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby? Oh, that's right. And he's in Talladega Nights. Oh, yeah, that's good.

And the scene where he stabs him, Will Ferrell stabs himself. Oh, yeah, that's a great scene. That's it, yeah. That's all right. It was great. So you at least get to see him have some fun uh then they say they're ready for you on the set and then uh he he's at the end of it the note that they leave it on because these kinds of attractions it's always like a little taste of what you might experience in there and in this

case he's like well don't worry you're be fine. There's nothing to worry about, right, fellas? And then he joins two gargoyles. And then he kind of laughs viciously. And then it irises in on his face. What do you mean? Am I going to see gargoyles? Are there gargoyles in the next room? I mean, that would have been a plus off.

I can confirm it is Peter Stormare playing Colonel Lev Andropov. So we leave Disappointing Room number one and go through a sad hallway into Disappointing Room number two. You almost know already at this point. You're like, this is the death mark. Also, let's track our respective spouses. Yes, yes, yes. Because mine, Erin, has started. I could see her lose. It's already our respective spouses. Yes, yes, yes. Because mine, Erin, has started.

I could see her lose. It's already been a day. You started here. This was the first attraction? It's the first thing we did in studios. I think we did. I went to look up photos, and it's so long ago, they're not even in my Google photos.

But we started at Disneyland, which I believe my husband thought was quite lackluster. And then from there, we went to studios and went to this. I feel better, too. I feel like sometimes I feel like I've been hard on Paris and my crazy litmus test. It's weird because there's a lot about Disneyland

Paris that I'll happily make fun of. But then again, like, in this current era, it's really kind of becoming its own thing. I had the most wonderful time there jeez that's nice in 2021 not on the trip that i did this yeah yeah that was all it was still uh yeah uh yeah aaron's losing it a little aaron's it's this i just remember that this walk between the rooms just like how quickly can this be over i don't think she neither of us really know what's

coming but i'm like might be good or at least might be funny. Then you get into a room, I mean, like, you all watch the ride through of this, or the ride through, like, whatever, stand through, stand up. You're in a very tight, I mean, this would be a COVID nightmare. It's great that it closed before.

It's just like Star Cruiser. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Man, masks are gone there now, I hear. Yep. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, masks are gone there now, I hear. Oh, from the jump. Oh, already it was icy. Disney should have done an immersive Armageddon hotel. Do not give them that idea. We've done it for like 10 minutes, and it was horrible.

Yeah, we don't need to spend more time. But what if you could meet Rockhound? If you could meet Rockhound? Well, probably not Rockhound, like a guy need to spend more time. But what if you could meet Rockhound? If you could meet Rockhound? Well, probably not Rockhound. Like a guy that knows Rockhound. Well, Rockhound, I think is... I haven't watched this film, but apparently the character Rockhound

says some very cancelable things. Oh, really? I think Rockhound is a scumbag. If I recall, he's very horny. That's his kind of gimmick. So he's like Pat O'Brien? Maybe less. He might be more horny Okay well

We'll analyze this One of my first Exposures to Steve Buscemi And in this Kind of a Flat movie otherwise They stacked it up It's got great actors it's got

it does have a good cast i'm not getting to say that about a lot of good stuff yeah um so uh it's russian space station uh even though you're walking into it and it's an immersive environment when you walk in the screens are not they don't show space yet they all are placeholder and they say like uh earth feed meteor feed so that's taking you out of it right away you're on a set and that's not like it's it's just such a like bummer immediately then and then they're calling out like lighting changes let's start shooting so there's too much of that set right overlay where the fake theme park we're shooting a movie nonsense yes we're shooting a movie that came out decades ago 19 like yeah the opening of hollywood studios style or i guess

universal studios like of just like yeah this doesn't make any sense i don't know why yeah unless it's that uh superstar television where they're like shooting new things with people on that's what we call it right yeah yeah that makes sense we're gonna shoot scenes from famous things with actual people yeah that's like the only context where it doesn't people shouldn't be confused or like what it's so insane because like if all right we want to take you behind the scenes and show you how things are made this is not how things are made sets aren't immersive and 360 degrees and they don't all happen in the course of five minutes and with like with the real effects coming close to hurting you so like you know it's already you're it's already fantastical what you're showing you know what else is fantastical is

uh theme park stuff rise of the resistance is fantastic so why not just commit all if rise of the resistance constantly had we're ready for you on the first order set destroy the entire thing if i can add something that also kind of took me out of it because i watched two ride throughs of this and by the first the first minute of the second ride through i was like god why did i find another video why did i do this but i was interested in that the one there was a cast member and their outfit was like a gray jumpsuit with like a yellow reflector vest but the first video i watched it was just someone in like theater blacks like a black sweatshirt and black pants but two different shades of black like they truly looked like they were a stand-up comic

about to complain about how you can't say anything anymore like that kind of black and that just threw me because i'm like i find it hard if you're gonna wear all black to yeah sometimes find the right matching shades but i'm like wait disney bought this outfit why didn't they buy an outfit with the same top and bottom unless they didn't like yeah unless they didn't costumes for a sketch because she didn't. Unless they didn't. Getting costumes for a sketch. Because she didn't have a reflective vest on. So I was like, wait, did you just walk in? Did you just clock in? It's like, oh, we got to start running this thing.

I'm just going to hop up. We don't check uniforms anymore. Was it a turtleneck? It was French. No, it's just like a crew neck. It wasn't a turtleneck. Oh, no, it wasn't like a, you know. Because I picture like a French person.

Oh, no, it wasn't a turtlene i mean a beatnik picturing a french beatnik from the 1960s i mean that would really jazz it up anything it's so funny to me because like there's so many attractions that are like here's how movies are made but i truly don't know how an avengers movie is made i like i know there's a lot of blue or green maybe yeah and then they like stand on a box and then somehow it looks like they're flying above new york city i don't get it i would love to know i would love to know you're right new thing i don't know how things are made anymore like now if they updated any of this it would be teach me how you put all those people together in a scene are they all there or not are they in atlanta what's going on yeah you would be like you would it would be i think is you would drive into a room

with 400 people at computers being like, these are the people who make the movie. You see it in the credits. These many people animating the Black Widow's wrist gauntlet firing mechanism or something. And then they're just tired and upset

and not being paid enough. And those are the people that make the movie. Filmmakers use a term called crunch and he's working 16 to 18 hour days. certain effects. Like,

there's more effects houses that like do the big stuff and then there's like, they farm out certain effects to like different places. Like, it's sometimes in Marvel movies you can see like,

certain CGI scenes are like, look really good and then some scenes look like absolute garbage and it's probably because like, they were late and they were like, i just farm this out to a smaller company

yeah really get it done whatever we don't care just put a filter on the front of it and make it look like it's dark oh it doesn't matter yeah i mean the one of the last big effect stories the last 10 years was that the uh company that did the effects uh and then won a bunch of Oscars for Life of Pi had gone bankrupt in between releasing the movie and winning the Oscars for Life of Pi. Not an industry you're dying to. You know what they genuinely could do?

We talked about this before. They could do like the Mandalorian practical, the screens that look really good. If they did something with those. Oh yeah, that'd be great because i would like to see those in person and then it's like your kid is in a scene that shot instantaneously and you watch and it looks like yeah mandaloria that would not be the worst

now that they should be adding things of this nature that's something you could do in an environment like this that would work and be cool it Yeah, it's like we always say, more screens. We love screens. Of course we love screens. But a forward-looking, like a forward-looking thing that kind of tricked, like I was tricked for the first few episodes. Like I didn't realize they were doing that until they had like a featurette on it.

Yeah, so yeah, put, and then sell the tape of you in the Mandalorian with Fennec Shand, and that's the name of the character, right? I mean, they literally have empty sound stages. There is no excuse. Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's better than literally nothing.

Yes. This is one of those where we could say some things bit by bit that happened in this final part. But what happened, really? Can you even name like let's name a moment of this space station it's like i think it's like something hits something and then there's like it does it jiggle then or does it jiggle later there's a jiggle but i don't recall where because and then there's way more pyro than i remembered yeah

there's a lot of flames in the room and here's another thing i'm going to say that i don't particularly care for is is flames in the room uh i will i will allow it in a set like i acknowledge that it's cool in the mummy coaster in florida um that's cool enough that effect on the ceiling that I will deal with that it's a little freaky but like I don't know if this is like a scaredy cat thing it's like haunts or launches I think I'm okay being I just I don't want flames in the room with me no never it's not cool enough for me to not because I think some of it is you start smelling that gas a little even before it happens and you think like oh or flames coming and i just don't it's

i'm unnerved by the like gas isn't a fun thing to smell in a yeah on my vacation well and it's so close it is like mall fountain level like yes proximity like you get really close this little very giant fireball at the end yeah yeah i don't how do we feel about flames? Am I? I guess I'm pro flame in a close space, I think. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you're pro? Yeah. Huh. Okay, Jason, you're anti?

Well, I want, I want a little distance. So what is a ride to comfortably? I think backdraft, that I'm comfortable with. This, like, putting your little hands under your head. Your little hands? Like, on the railing. Leaning over the railing with your, like, head in your hands and a fireball at six feet in front of you.

That's too much. You're like a teen girl on the bed. Like, this is the central part of this attraction. Thinking about, yeah. That's interesting. I don't know. know i shoot a flame at me i don't like i'll make wince i might get scared but at least i'm feeling something at least i'm alive i mean outside it was fine with like some of my family i feel like we went on the jaws ride

once at universal and they were like these flames out they're way too hot way too close to the boat i'm like bring it on we gotta we gotta get that shark outside yeah yeah yeah because indiana jones stunt show love those flames i've sat close at wrestling events and they shoot a lot of pyro which is loud that would scare me that's a temporary setup that's not as safe this is a permanent flame they're blasting them out all day i'm not concerned nothing's Well, I guess that's true. It's probably, yeah, at this point, they've run it so many times and like for Monday Night Raw,

that's fresh. They're on the road, right? In the morning, yeah. That's like a carnival. That can't be trusted. Last year, I think the WrestleMania sign caught on fire, I think.

This is what I'm talking about. Oh, my God. Michael, I just want to correct you. Multiple WrestleMania signs have since caught on fire. Oh, God just want to correct you. Multiple WrestleMania sites have since gone on fire. Oh, God. And that's the billion dollar earning promotion.

Sure, yeah. Catching stuff on fire. I like that logic. This is interesting. So there's a whole spectrum here. There's no flame. There's outdoor flame, not indoor flame. There's total pro flame and then there's pro not temporary. Permaflame. Permaflame, yes. And then there's pro, uh, not temporary. Permaflame.

Permaflame. Yes. Permaflame. Should we do the flame final four? Flame final four. The best flame. That's actually not a bad idea. Maybe.

I'll figure it out. But yeah, it's exactly, it's all a mush as it's happened and you, and it's all around you, which is interesting, but you also don't know where to look. I think in not a good way. Were you close to this? Cause there's a, it's a and it's all around you which is interesting but you also don't know where to look I think in not a good way.

Were you close to this because it's circular. It's like you're on a donut because the center is where they have the fire stuff. So were you closer to the center

or were you more towards the back? I think maybe closer to the back. I think maybe something unpleasant happened behind me and I didn't know

what to look at. Maybe I just felt some heat. Were you putting your head in your little hands? Yeah. When that was happening? So I hope this is the best show I've ever seen. Bonjour, asteroid.

Where were you? I was towards the back and I remember being like, oh, I wish I would have known what this was because I would have wanted to be right by the flame. Oh, okay. The centerpiece. The only thing to look at. Yeah, because it does culminate

in, then lights are out, and the plot-wise, what is this? The space station, if we haven't said, is getting attacked. But multiple? Yeah, a bunch of asteroids are tearing through the space station. Yeah, there's two really big things that rubbed me the wrong way about this ride.

One, it is based on a cutaway shot from the movie armageddon uh that's interesting in the realm of podcasting i think very interesting um but and two like wait this ride is about you just accepting inevitable death like impending death is coming to you like which is a very i mean that's very french film but it's a very i mean that's very french film but it's a little weird that it's in a disney park where it's just like oh you're you're all going to die but only in a scene but in one scene but also michael clark duncan just told you nothing bad is going to happen to you and he's dead so well that's something bad happened to him yeah hmm yeah it's a great boy it is great already in

a grim park on a grim property in the grimmest part of it this is well maybe if you view it as that as a reflection on death maybe that maybe that's a good angle as an exciting e-ticket i mean i guess i'm getting ahead of myself to like what we would have done to plus it up but even if they had like had bruce willis's' Harry Stamper character in the movie when Liv Tyler is at the screen before he dies because he sacrifices himself to save the Earth, even something like that would have maybe put a bow

on it that were like, I don't know, that were like, well, I guess that's not exactly that we're mourning Bruce Willis, I guess, in this case, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my thought process is bad here. Your only thought process that's bad is the idea that this could be

a company posting. Were you satisfied then by the... That's what I was getting at. It's being destroyed by a... So then what you feel at the end is like that's the final curtain, kind of. And now the flames that kill you are bursting through the center of your

donut. Oh, I legitimately had no idea what was going on from start to finish when I went on this. Okay. We should be Bruce Willis. Here's the, here's the right thing.

Liv should be on a screen mourning us. Like all my good friends are all my siblings or something. She remembers. Yeah. I remembers uh yeah i like that so you see her you have to have pushed affleck in because remember the movie yes of course he was gonna stay behind right and and then bruce wills like take care of my daughter yeah right right so it should be like something like that. Yeah. That we all collectively throw Ben Affleck out a hatch of some kind. And then the flame. And Liv mourns us.

Then the flame comes through. It blows us all up. And then we're all heroes. We have lived a hero experience. So we're dead. We are dead. We're dead. Like Mr. Toad.

Like Mr. Toad. There are attractions where you die. Right. So make this another one of those. Make it another one of those. In the one ride through I watched, the big fire at the end, I was like, ooh, that must have been a really big shot because the screen just went white. They were focused on that center jet.

Oh, yeah. And I was just like, oh, my God, everything went white. Now it's going to be back into focus. I was like, well, at least there's a big ending I guess with me not liking flames I just didn't like that happening at all were you as a perma flame

fan did you at least like the ending after all the struggle of the experience I don't know if I have any recall of the ending because I was trying to not be actively divorced at that moment because i just was standing next to my husband going i forced him to come here i forced him to come to this park and he said doesn't everyone say disneyland paris sucks and i said no and let's go

to both of them so i was really just trying to get out of the grave I had dug myself. Well, so yeah, what happens right after? So you're, this all is happening. You're not in the narrative of it. You are thinking, how do I, I need to save this day. Well, yeah, we realized at some point in the donut room, in the secondary, the worst room, I would say, perhaps. They're both bad. Unpleasant.

It's also, it's very loud. It's just like, here's a room with loud sounds. That's the bulk of what this is i i mean we started to realize this was the ride there wasn't this wasn't the pre-show for the attraction that we thought we were going to this was the attraction and that realization was there's no amount of indoor fire that could could make that better. So are you apologetic, defensive, it's not my fault? I mean, I still can't really live it down. It's like Disneyland Paris will forever have a stink on it because of this.

We have very similar experiences here because this was at the very end of my honeymoon, by the way. This is the big mistake we made is that like incredible trip to Paris and Rome and Florence and then we thought well we end it and back in Paris so it can be a round trip and

we love Disney so it culminates in Disney but it put so much pressure on it. I've said all this before. Florence, probably the best place I've ever been, maybe until Tokyo, but they're neck and neck. So we were coming from this euphoric experience in this beautiful city with the best food ever, and now we're in the Armageddon

Spacio show. And this was... We even managed to have some loopy fun in our first day, which was in the Magic Kingdom Park, but still it was like a struggle we had to like really press through and like it's it's like it's we're so insane that it's fun it's not the the relaxation that honeymoon could and should be so now we're here we even

were at the gate going do we pay for this dumb place and it's like well i don't know right behind this gate is a new disney theme park that will probably never be near again. Maybe we need to do this. Maybe it'll be content someday for something. And we go in, and by Armageddon, we were thinking maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe we could have just, I don't know, gone into the city again,

just waved at the Eiffel Tower. Almost anything else. Actually, Aaron in Reliving It said, I would say waiting for the dentist is more pleasant than this maybe not the dentist itself if you're getting drilled it's at least in english yeah yeah yeah or at least translated well what's happening to you there can be a calm in a waiting room i think we were just talking about jason you proposed that flying can be like okay you felt like a flight could can be fine Yeah, like if you want to disconnect and just read a book

or work on writing and stuff. I just listened to this episode and I fully agree with you. Thank you. Yeah, or train travel, very much the same. Obviously, trains, I feel like they give away the Wi-Fi on Amtrak. But it's also, it's very bad. Wi-Fi is free. It's still like very expensive for 30 minutes of wi-fi i'm

like american airlines like it's just not why is that still so that doesn't make any sense but this is where i was thinking about this i agree i would rather sit on a plane almost even a plane with mild turbulence then go on this armageddon thing it would be the same amount of turbulence is that right yeah yeah which still is not that yeah i've been there's been more exciting turbulence on a real plane because there's it's a real disaster well that's a big drop that's something um so anyways we get out of it just this was kind of the pit of the day i felt like and uh aaron's just staring daggers and once we once we slowly file out of the room i think she turns to me and says what about rides are there rides in this park is there a ride anywhere in this park i think we had not been on on a ride yet

and i said we're rocking roller coasters that way it's i'm not gonna do it i don't do launches uh you can go do it and i went and watched this dumb martin short show where he goes through the history of movies like that's i can handle the kitsch aaron's like i need to do a thing that someone might enjoy without levels and uh so we took some time apart that we split up for a second it split us up on the last day of our honeymoon it's important to have your own interest yeah she's interested in uh not ruining her own life, whereas I. So we took a little time, and then we reconvened. And I said, oh, how was that rock and roller coaster?

And she said, it was fine. Do you want to get to the airport early? And that's pretty much how this went. Did you watch, I forget what it's called there, but in Florida it was called Lights, Motor, Action. We didn't do that, because by that point it was just like, we need to bail on this as quickly as let's go eat a crappy burger in the radisson lobby and then like we cannot handle another like sitting through a thing like

i don't think we've we haven't done lights motor actually i am a lights motor action defender yeah that was actually i never saw it anywhere stunt driving and like cool car tricks. That had some cool behind the scenes stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And then after a few years, Lightning McQueen drove in and just did a lap and then left. Hey.

I just feel so bad that you guys haven't, you know, half of us haven't tested our relationships inside this attraction. It's the ultimate test. Yeah, that's too bad. You'll never know if it's true love. The ultimate stress test. Yeah.

But also, they never will in a way because this, it's so funny, we have this exact, say, it's like tense in general and then this is like,

and you're on vacation because the possibilities of what a vacation could be. Yeah. And you chose, and you and I were responsible for our spouse's pain.

I mean, I'm still dealing with it because we went back in November and I had just gone with my mom for multiple days. So I had like really packed in Disneyland Paris, had a great time. I made my husband go back for one day.

I was like, we're in Paris for a week. I have to do it. I'm there. I have to go. And I'm just now remembering that I think he refused to go on any ride. I don't think we went on a single ride.

He's like, I will walk in a circle around the park with you. And we brought our own sandwiches. He did not eat. He did not ride. He was just like, this is my limit after what happened. Well, that seems like a fair compromise. I am sure, conversely, he struck you to like work functions or like dinner at the boss's house or something. And, you know, you gotta give and take, you know?

When you're using your Jason argument of it's work. I'm here for work. I'm doing work. I'm stressed. I'm at work. Yeah. So if you put that on it. Yeah.

I guess that's a way. Yeah. So just remind. Listen. I don't think I hate anything as much as he hates Disneyland Paris. Next time you're going to dinner at the boss's house, say, you know, this is just the same as the Armageddon ride. Exactly the same as having to watch

this Russian cosmonaut translated into multiple languages. Terrific Peter Sturmer. You get to see 45 seconds of it. You hear a voice that may or may not be him. It could be a sound. It very easily could be a sound alike. And there was a computer voice,

because he is playing a Russian character speaking English, but the computer voice is doing kind of generic computer voice, but speaking French. So it's a real melting pot, you know? It's got that going for it. Yeah. Then you get to hear him say, like, what is generator status

yeah it is pretty boris baronoff yeah sparkling dialogue great accent um this is fascinating i'm i'm actually now curious with what we have experienced if any listeners have have run into this and where you you maybe pushed a partner to the brink. Where I feel like, you know, like if you're ending up in these parks, even if the person's not as big of a fan as you, and Erin's a major Disney parks fan, but she's got the limit. And I'm curious of any stories of like,

where did the limit set in? I'd be curious for any, or also everybody's just like, it's never happened. Maybe find somebody who has no limit. There was, I'm trying to think. I think I've said this on the show before. I think there was like two Disney World trips ago. Lindsay was like, I think it was like day three or four.

And she was like, I got to sleep in. I'm tapping out. And I go, well, you can meet me in Animal Kingdom. And she's like, fine. So I'm like on the bus to Animal Kingdom alone at like 9 a.m i actually didn't know this one but that's but also as that's not bad so you yeah you have separate you know you have different speeds of vacation yeah yes that yes uh when we were there in the fall i talked about jane tapped out on the friday of like a week-long trip and she's like i'm gonna the pool and i'm gonna take a bath and i was just standing on concrete in hollywood studios reading like a blog-long trip and she's like i'm gonna the pool and i'm gonna take a bath and i was just

standing on concrete in hollywood studios reading like a blog that's like crowds not seen since the july peak on veterans day week and i'm just like oh my god having to like defend yourself as the one who made the right choice in situations like that no i mean me not mean then not going on the the roller coaster that goes fast but i got to experience uh martin short as a man with a flip phone who gets uh sucked into the history of some move of five movies that disney could afford it was hard for me to say i made the right choice in that situation but there maybe there i think at this time there was not a right choice to be made at there maybe there i think at this time there was not a right choice to be made at disney studios paris oh after you do armageddon everything's a

write-off it's just over your day's done let's just uh let's just round up to the end i guess yeah because in orlando if you tapped it if you need to like all right let's we could get the parks today and stuff disney springs there's so much to offer. The Disney Village does not seem like it has that appeal. Oh my god. Recently, he probably doesn't mind if I say this, a friend of the show, Matt Cardona, also has been to Disneyland Paris recently and I think would send me

some photos of the village. It seemed to me like he was amped on it, but maybe that was... I think he was not amped about Disney Village. I don't know that he had anything in depth to say i mean it's got a pretty well preserved planet hollywood he did send us pictures from we're saying oh yeah he's reading about that hollywood left a good time capsule because you know now that we're all like there's these communal spaces online for people who like the old stuff to like reminisce about it and that is one of the old

places that still stands right yes but it is definitely not as fun as we will think it was in 10 years from now this is true and you hate to say it there's certain things we're like look if it's gonna be better to do something new we all have the memories increasingly we have like vr walkthroughs exhaust videos. I can see the logic in certain things changing ever. Such as this. Even if there is one strange person out there who's like, but Armageddon was so crazy. I do think that the replacement web slingers, the new Spider-Man ride is going to appeal to someone more more than this trash I am very nervous

that they're redoing the boardwalk hotel in Orlando they already got rid of the clown slide it's all downhill I guess that's true that's my outlook is that I mean we must the nanny chairs I mean we are a nanny chair watch 24 7 now SUV the nanny chairs

see if anyone notices working the graveyard shift. You love your chairs. I'm very concerned that they're going to get rid of them. But I also, I was talking to someone, a friend of mine, and he thinks that the coffee bar that's being added is going where the Bellevue Lounge is, which was secretly my favorite bar that I never told people about

because it used to not be busy. And after the pandemic, or during the pandemic, it became busy. But it was great. There's a wicker couch that has cup holders built into the wicker. This is a library kind of study.

It's like that little annex bar to the right of the boardwalk lobby. What's it called again? Yeah, they're playing. The Bellevue Inn, I believe. I went there

last time I was down and I was like, Jane, they're playing old timey radio. They're playing old timey radio. And she's like, it's 10 a.m. We've been up for five hours.

I don't care. Wait, this was supposed to be red-eye? This is when we were kind of... You had to land and kill time. We land and kill time when we're trapped by the marathon. We could not get anywhere. Oh, that marathon story. We got trapped by the marathon.

Never have we had more sympathy for you. Our reservations were to Epcot, so we couldn't go anywhere. You couldn't get into Epcot when it wasn't open, was the marathon. Never have we had more sympathy for you. Our reservations were to Epcot so we couldn't go anywhere. You couldn't get into Epcot when it wasn't open was the story. We couldn't get into Epcot. We were baffled by that story because it involved like and then there was a cone there. Well there were so many cones and there was

runners and people were like no no you can't come through. But it wasn't open. But nothing was open. like nothing besides like one breakfast like stand would it have been on a non-marathon day um i well even the footpaths to like swan and dolphin like you could the footpaths would have been open yeah you could have gone a little more so the issue is that at 10 a.m. the footpaths weren't open. That's a big deal. You're trapped.

We're trapped. You're trapped at the boardwalk. Your options are very limited. The boardwalk was like half of everything is closed. They half opened. And they half opened like the walkways around

the lake resorts. And so like we're able to walk to the boardwalk. But then the bus services were only running to the open parks that due to park reservation systems we couldn't go anywhere are you getting more of a sense of why this was a this was jason's armageddon and i thought oh okay we can go to disney springs no disney springs didn't open till 10 a.m and this was earlier earlier. So like. I'm trying. I will admit I got distracted

because on the disboards.com, somebody wrote, what is the Bellevue room at Boardwalk? And then somebody just wrote under it, the Boardwalk Bakery no longer toasts bagels. Just sold as is. No. It's worse than a Russian space station blowing up.

I think that's what it's called though. Like the lobby bar essentially. Bellevue Lounge. Yeah, Bellevue Lounge is what it's called. Yeah, Bellevue Lounge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. It was tight. But I just got distracted by this course.

That's where if I was at a media event, I'd tell the people that I'm friends with that were meeting up at Bellevue, and then we would all go there after. Yeah. If you let the cat out of the bag, is now Bellevue going to get swamped? Well, I think it's going to become this coffee shop,

because they just announced a whole redo. Oh, okay. So Bellevue's already the dream. Also, I tried to go there maybe during the 50th at some point and there was a line to order cocktails and i was like no no no no no no no no i feel like when i the other day when i walked by the hearthstone lounge at the grand california similar thing there's like a little coffee set up outside of it now the bar was roped off early there was a bunch of partitions. And I'm like, oh, okay, this is kind of no man's land right now.

You got to find your secret spots. Yeah, they're disappearing. Is the air bar still good? I mean, I've kind of avoided most tight indoor places just because the times I've visited have been during like peak pandemic times. But I haven't been there in a while. I feel too old for a drink with cotton candy in it. Do they have that. This is an insane statement.

You've just made in front of Mike Carson. Again, you've made me upset, but no, no, I didn't even know there was cotton candy. Yeah, they have,

don't they have one that's cotton candy and then they pour the drink in and then it dissolves and they're like magic. That's interesting. Cause I've only ever gotten like a good, like Manhattan in there. Oh, well then maybe that's the move. I had like two trips ago.

I had like three Manhattans in there once. And then I hit my, then walking to Frozen, I hit my hand hard on like a metal, like kind of railing somewhere. And it was sore for days. Oh, and that's where the woman was trying to hit on my friend Luke and I. Did you tell this? You must have told this story. I probably told this story, I think.

Yeah. There was like a couple, we think. But then we're like maybe they weren't a couple and this woman was like like coming on to me and my friend luke who were there i was there although i was there with my friends who were married and i'm not lindsey was not there yes that was this trip because i had an a or a third it was a third wheel trip i was a third wheel already uh yeah i had an annual pass i bought an eight because at the time it made sense to get the, if I was going once to Disney World, it was still a time when it made sense to get the premier pass. Oh yeah, you're speaking my language.

Yeah. Of course. For Disneyland and Disney World. Yeah, to get both parks, because it was literally like, you may as well just get it, because then you get more access to Disneyland. Every day of the year. Every day of the year. Any park.

It was amazing. Amazing time to be alive. And I was like, well, now it's just like if I can get a quick trip in, and my friends were flexible, so I went with them and Lindsay had work. So I was there alone drinking three Manhattans with them in the Abracadabra. And then a woman was like, you're both so handsome. It was not like one of the things

where you're like inferring what's going on. It was like a very strong sort of... we saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe it was just up into that it was that was not what happened we had to bail quickly because it was it was very strange so wait you have had a stress test not a marriage stress test at that time but yeah uh on disney property that's true yeah you're right do i throw it all away for one night with the two the two babes and what if it was my friend one woman hitting on two men oh i thought there was a second okay no no she was with a male for like male husband maybe like oh we got a vibe it was like her husband but then maybe it was i was like, or they have an understanding. So that night, the swing was not isolated at Jelly Rolls.

It was at a few establishments at the boardwalk. I think you mean Fins. Rig-a-ding-ding. Fins is where it all goes down. What's that? Fins. Which is, where's Fins? The bar at Walt Disney World's Swan.

Swan's the bigger one. Because that's the convention center hotel. So everyone's there. Everyone's there on business. Everyone's going out on the corporate dime. Things are happening at Finn's. Interesting. That's where you swing at Disney.

That is, if you want to cheat on your spouse in Disney World, I always say, go to Finn's. Go to Finn's. Carly's tips. Finn's a lock. Huh. Because we know, look. It's just so many hands trying to flag down the bartender and then they all had the sunburn they all the tan of the ring no rings fingers it's a different meaning of

fins up at that fin wow that's the content we have not explored on this podcast yes you stay there enough and you know to like walk around the lobby after midnight. Interesting. Yeah. We know what the deal is at the Holiday Inn Burbank. Oh my God. I think we talked about this not long ago.

We spent like a long time at your birthday talking about the Holiday Inn. Yes. Things I never knew I... What do you mean it's gone? It's a different brand now. It's called the Hotel Burbank.

It seems real beige-y, hippie. Yeah, we'll see. We haven't been over there. Will the swinging possibilities be as strong? We're praying that they are. And it seems like that top floor bar that we liked so much, I think they realized, like, oh, wow, we have amazing, we could charge a lot of money for people to come up here.

Yeah. Haven't redone it yet. Haven't redone it yet. What's that? It's still crappy carpet. Oh, okay. In Disneyland Paris is the place to have

an affair every quick service restaurant? Any corner. Anywhere in the park. I don't know. I mean, maybe one of those weird motels they have.

Like the little like Toy Story themed rooms I think. On rides. I don't know. On small worlds. Anywhere. Any surface.

You can do anything you want anywhere you want. City of love. We've been going for a while. I have one little treat at the end here. I got curious if there was any promotional material for the opening of the Armageddon attraction or for the Disney Studios park in general

and I could not find any in English or in French but i did find an hour-long opening special in a language that after watching for a little bit i determined to be dutch uh this was made for dutch television and it very much in boy you think you've done like you think you've seen it all in terms of crazy disney special. And then you find the 2002 Disney studios opening. This thing is so nuts. Uh, it is the,

the through line of it is it is a group of children who are all, uh, going to experience different, uh, they're, they're experiencing all the, the wonderful new attractions coming to Disney Paris is five kids and five attractions.

Perfect. Don't need more than that. That's all we got. Um, but it's, so it's very like,'s very like the skits that Regis would do, but in all of the different rides. So we end up with, this is how they represent Armageddon, is there is a scene that is,

it's basically a madcap ride through the armadillo, through the drilling machine that you brought up earlier. Of course. That was sitting out in front of the ride that is not a ride or something that you could do at the park so they depict like you'll go on a mad cap armadillo chase but in fact this does not happen another thing

that couldn't happen is the person who appears in this there are there's celebrities throughout this special but none more special than who you meet in inside the armadillo hi so you're the new co-pilot huh yeah what's your name my name is yoshi yoshi well i'm nice to meet you hassle hoff you're cramped in here you know i'm used to a much more comfortable ride anyway talking about night rider right okay yeah kit uh yeah so um well i won't reveal the other celebrity shows up a little bit later but like uh so basically

you know like they they bump around he's uh the kid yoshi is driving uh with kind of weird dutch glasses very euro kid glasses um it's it's, crazy ride, but they ultimately land. David hits the emergency stop, and then this little scene occurs. All you had to do was to find the key. Yoshi is handed a big Lego

looking blue key. Learn a little bit, Yoshi, okay? Okay. You know, next time I think we should take a ride in the kid car from Knight Rider. What do you say? Fit it in whoa then the key glows with then the key is turned cgi and glows in his magic and then it cuts to who's coming up next britney spears original britney spears appearance in this stupid special you know that shitty main street the indoor main street in Disney Studios Perry that we haven't talked about

I kind of like it but yeah oh really okay I just threw out shit I don't like that right I think that's a weird like room a little bit closer flames in the room is that why you don't know no different it's not always flames like being transported to Hollywood like seeing the

big sign shutter bugs and Gunga Den. But Britney performs in front of Shutterbugs and Gunga Den. This is a Britney appearance. There is a Destiny's Child performance. Really? Oh, my God. And Andrea Bocelli. I think these are syndicated maybe to other specials.

These aren't only for Dutch television. Right. But Britney hands one of the kids a magic key. She does stuff for this Dutch special. syndicated maybe to other specials these aren't only for dutch television right but britney hands one of the kids a magic key she does stuff for this dutch special but there is uh but then it builds to one final cameo at the end so you're out in front of the park and uh there is some like big glowy mechanism and the kids have all assembled they all have a magic key. And then here's the culmination of the special. What have all the keys been for? Let's find out.

Hi, kids. My name is Cuba Gooding Jr. And I'm looking here at some very special children. What? Cuba Gooding Jr. And I'm looking here at some very special children. What? Cuba Gooding Jr., for the people listening, Cuba Gooding Jr. is 100 feet tall. He is God. He is God.

I suppose ghosts, you're right. He is the almighty. Yeah, because it's heavenly light. I made you cars so that I could see a world where everyone suffered. I don't know why it's also hi my name is cuba gooding jr well if they don't know who you are if you're american then the name is not gonna impress these children kids big jerry mcguire fans i guess i don't it doesn't feel like they've met because they don't say wow they just kind of like listen attentively yeah meeting a

strange like if we showed up in uh you know in the netherlands and said my name is mike carlson doesn't mean anything to unless they're unless there's a right listener like uh screen junkies you may know me from screen junkies or for being god yeah um then it cuts to this weird other angle behind Cuba. So they did have coverage on this and the kids are staring the wrong way. They were not told to look up in the sky. So anyway, he resolves this plot here.

Each of you is a truly outstanding individual. And I'm glad to hear you still have those keys you found today. Because we have one more surprise. Oh my God, he's so big. Yeah, he's like Zordon in Power Rangers. What? What? for each and every one of you to keep for the rest of your lives. Congratulations.

What? Can you clarify something for me? You've all been rewarded with lifetime access after you bravely stuck your thumbs in a leaky dam. Yeah, this is quite a scene, isn't it cuba gooding jr is god he hands he takes keys that were already magic and glowing makes them not magic anymore he turns them into literal key well they turn they all turn gold yeah and then and now they're not now they're actual keys that they have to keep but they get them into the i guess this is essentially they have free admission to this bad theme park maybe but or they just have a key to it but they're actors yeah so there's not it's not

like they want a contest right unless is that maybe the premise maybe they're presented as real kids and again i don't speak dutch so i don't know some of the ins and outs well there's like there's those stories that appear like oh someone so-and-so won like a lifetime pass to disneyland or something yeah which like still works and, unless JPEG's taken it away. No, they've got to make a reservation. Yeah. That was maybe the first thing you did. They have to start at DCA.

Get a reservation. Look, we've got to have rules. But I wonder, yeah, are they presenting that as if the kids can get in forever, maybe? I don't know. If you're one of those five Dutch children and you're grown, let us know. Do the keys work? Was Britney Spears exciting to meet?

Was Hasselhoff exciting to be in an armadillo with? Hasselhoff in the armadillo is really... I feel like you made that video, Scott. Yeah, yeah. It's the most up my alley. These bad little... You know, I think they should have put the kit car from Knight Rider and him having to drop.

He's such a cheese ball. His acting is just speaking clearly. Same thing. Acting is the person who enunciates the most. Isn't that right? Wouldn't you agree? Yeah. This is, boy, the special.

Boy, oh, boy. Wow, good find. Yeah, check out that special. Keep it getting Junior's God. As he should be. Yeah be yeah yeah well earned and hassle i'm sorry to interrupt uh hasselhoff though i'm trying to think was it uh he's been in one other pre-show video is it for that um um you're at weird boat ride and yeah yeah i think so yeah i believe so for it was like it was the night it was the kit boats you're about to board a kit boat yeah but they don't have the rights that's the park

with no rights and i can't think of the name. Yeah, but they don't have the rights. That's the park with no rights. And I can't think of the name of it already. But they had no movie rights. There's like knockoff Doc Brown in the parade. You're about to get on the Prince of Boats. And it was like they had a Tower of Terror. Yes. As well.

Called that, but it's not. So their Armageddon is called like Ultimate Comet 2000. Right. Yes. Their Armageddon is called like Ultimate Comet 2000 Right Yes They have to shuffle it every six months to make sure No one noticed Keep changing the name of it Yeah just keep because something might be called that At this point

That was the one with the That was the Flashdance show I believe so Movie Land Italy Movie Land Italy There's the water, yeah. Movie Land Italy. There's an entire park that is like this Armageddon attraction. If you want to, as far as I could tell,

this seems like the aesthetics of the Armageddon attraction, but a full. Wow. Where, yeah, they basically start using IP in the park. And this is in Italy, Movie Land Italy. They'll do like Batman and the Joker and Mary Poppins until the IP writes. Someone and this is in italy movie land italy uh they still do like batman and the joker and mary poppins until the ip writes someone notices pull it pull it get it out yeah uh the bride from kill bill was walking around a lot with the orange jumpsuit yeah

licensed by quentin i'm sure yeah yeah well anyways I also now I'm wondering if like Cuba took this if a hundred foot tall god Cuba took this as the like I don't know maybe now I can like is there any other hundred foot god creatures I could swing with

oh good question now kids do you see any other giants walking any other Giants walking Any other translucent Giants walking around here Thanks You're very special Appreciate it

Well thank you for Taking us on this journey Through this Thank you for Allowing me to Relive and immediately Forget Everything we've been through

And it's gone It's immediately gone Except for the marital trauma I'm sure it'll It'll it's i mean it's worked out so far yeah yeah yes yeah yeah we we all we all our marriages have survived our trip to armageddon and you survived podcast the ride uh thanks so much for joining us again let's exit through a leg gift shop anything you'd like to plug um yeah my podcast very amusing uh we're back every week um i haven't made a itinerary or schedule so we're winging it but so far so good we got episodes they're coming out it's great and then you can find me on social and all the social medias at

carly weisel uh fantastic and uh yeah thanks so much for for being back again Great to do at IRL Once again It's been too long Yeah it's so nice To be in person And still distanced And nice Oh great

It's a comfortable Less claustrophobic Than a Russian spaceship You can As for us You can find us On the socials At Podcast The Ride

Merch is available In our TeePublic store And for three bonus episodes Every month Check out Podcast The Ride The Second Gate At Patreon.com Slash Podcast The Ride I'm a little hankering to do cars road trip like some of our trips been calling out to me this said this the smiling the big smiling tanker is his old world

lights on fire a lot of messages about accepting your demise this park The whole park. The whole park, yeah. You know what? I applaud this park for getting us comfortable with the idea of death. Yeah. I found the person. There's a theory, of course, with the cars. Yeah, sure. Yeah. This is just their hypothesis or they're questioning the fact that cars still have all the things that you would need for a human.

They have handles. They have windows. They lock. You hear in the they lock they you hear in the first right you hear cars go like yeah so there's so basically the attention when we'll talk about this when we do cars road trip very soon i guess uh is that this person's guess is that humans evolved into cars whoa wow what are the intermediate steps? Those are some weird, that evolution has some very awkward periods. Yes, I agree.

But yes, the humans are the cars. Maybe not evolved. Maybe like there was something, I don't know, a curse was put on the earth or something. Like something happened or Jay Leno. Aren't there too few cars? Like there would have had to been a genocide.

Like there had to have been something because there's not that many cars in cars in the cars hmm that's a good question what is the population of the earth right cars and if it's all cars it's not that many yeah you don't see a ton well we don't get a sense of the full world there's not even traffic in those films is there in the second one sometimes on the way to the women's restroom is what they pause. That's right. That's a lot. I can't think about it. Yeah. I didn't we say I had the theory in our late shift episode on the second gate that Jay Leno has sex with the cars.

Yeah. How Jay Limow, his character, was produced. Is that the literal offspring? He's the missing link. Jay Leno. Yes. The key to the Cars universe Is that Jay Leno Had sex with one of his classic cars

And miraculously The car gave birth The car gave birth To OJ's baby So he would be What's this? I'm alive I got the miracle of life

Have you heard about this? And he has so many cars And he's Pauly with his cars So I can't get locked down I married the one woman Why would I be married to one car? He's monogamous with Mavis But Pauly with his cars. If we're mapping over the... I'm not getting locked down. I married the one woman. Why would I be married to one car? He's monogamous with Mavis, but Polly with the cars.

I got a thousand hall passes. His hall pass is every car. One year for Christmas, on one side it said hall pass, and on the other side it said every car. So Cars is a movie about Jay Leno's kids. Everyone you're looking at is descended from Jay Leno, yes. I'm not super knowledgeable about Planet of the Apes, but is Caesar the one who,

is Caesar the ape who gains intelligence for Jay? By who speaks. Caesar, yeah, okay. No! With that, by saying no, it opened up the whole. Right, right. It was Jay saying, yes, I will have sex with the car. Eventually, his head will open real big like Beetlejuice,

and you just honk. Beep, beep. When he's still alive in 300 years. Why is he? Oh, because he's a car. Yeah. In the parking garage slash ashes of flappers at the Magic and Comedy Club. Well, that's what that whole episode is going to be like.

Yeah. Can't wait. We're off to the races. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for listening, everybody. See you. Forever Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.