Podcast: The Ride - Batman: The Rides

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

That's right. Rides plural. From humble beginning as the first inverted roller coaster, we take a look at some of the most thrilling Batman attractions. Domestic and international. Built and unbuilt. Gripes episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever Dog The Ride. Welcome to Podcast The Ride, where we say, hold me, thrill me, kiss me, thrill me again, on a themed experience, please. My name is Mike Carlson. Joining me as always, Jason Sheridan. I can't get it out of my head. I can't get the song out of my head. I watched the music video shortly before we were recording,

and my jaw dropped. Yes,ason put this in my head no one had a really catchy thing to say so i just had this wonderful batman song from batman forever in my head scott gardner is here as well yeah i uh i think we're gonna have more fun than a kiss from a rose on the gray when it's gonna be more fun than when you get kissed on the grey And don't forget that that's what's Being said People don't believe it when you tell them The grey It is the grey

Do we know what he means what Seal meant by the grey Don't think we do Do we not Like just the grey Of the Your life Of the night of smoke of of uh your your life of the night of of smoke and an ash and a rose is colorful so it like kisses its way through and creates joy well that's that's very beautiful

by the way what you just said might be more thought yeah and was put into the song i don't want to give seal little credit or no credit maybe he has the same sort of thought um but we're talking batman in the theme parks today all theme parks a very wide topic yeah uh that we there's a lot am i correct that the episode is could be called batman the rides uh plural plural oh yeah that's good yeah that's good i didn't even think about it that's what's been in my head. Batman the Ride, which you might look at first glance and think that we are talking about the roller coaster that's been at

Six Flags since the 90s that's a stalwart of Six Flags, and certainly we will talk about that. However, it's more, it's Ride-Zuh. There are a lot of Batman rides out there, but do any of them really scratch the itch? That is the question.

And I think that's what we're going to try to get into today. And let's be clear. Just everyone's screaming at their pod catching device. Batman the ride is different from Batman Adventure dash the ride and Batman Adventure dash the ride too. That's right and right not all of the batman the rides are the same ride there are things called batman the ride that are a completely different type of roller coaster but we'll get to that too we know that batman the ride encompasses different things of course yes uh there are like there are villains represented with their own rides in the

batman universe this is very rare to have like an ip like this to have so many different things in different parts of the world in different types of parks different characters have their own rides uh i mean obviously it happens in disney but that's disneyland it's not batman land you know it's not a specific batman land that would make sense there um but there's so much completely different eras of batman are represented there's like this is clearly nolan this is clearly burton this is clearly nothing this is just like batman generic this is like could be any batman like and then there's ones that aren't covered whatsoever it's a it's a big messy array yeah the dream of batman forever is alive at magic mountain in

california there's so much batman forever i think we said this on the episode of the geo the font of batman forever is everywhere and i hope it lasts forever because that font i have such uh nostalgia for it. But the Riddler's Revenge coaster that's there is obviously Batman Forever with those like blender type things that Nygma puts on people's heads to steal their thoughts. You know, so it's so interesting. So it's such a mishmash. It's just sort of by like grace of like whenever something was built it's now stuck in that era of batman forever and batman forever not the movie batman forever

batman in all of eternity is what i'm saying era there's another one too which is that there's batman night flight which is too there's two completely different there's one i think it's in a six flags and one that's in dubai that's like an immersive harry potter type ride and the other batman night flight is just a coaster um there's so much confusion this you're gonna need a chart for this one and you know what i think that's all beautiful uh i think the chaos of that adds to the character of of batman in the parks and even yeah i think it's more necessity as the mother of invention i believe the current dc comics thinking is because warner brothers seems to really want to desperately stop publishing comic books um and it seems like the current line of thinking uh you know they there's a lot of crises to try

and justify like decades and decades of comic but like well how did he do this if he did that the current line of thinking seems to be it all happened it all counts don't worry about it and that's kind of what uh batman in the parks is like too yes yeah all the eras existed there's artifacts now in the real world of all these eras of batman or batman batman whatever and yeah they're all part of canon they're all part of theme park canon which of course is our most important canon on this show yeah absolutely which makes it if you are like viewing this in a galaxy Edge fashion, where if we're holding things to the standard of there's a consistent story, like how does the Batman theme park canon work? It makes no sense. I mean, it just does it.

It doesn't work because you're not, so many of them are just like, wow, I'm in the Riddler's lair. And then I go on a roller coaster after that. There's not a lot of that. This is not very consistent storytelling. The Riddler's revenge is to send me and have a good time. The Riddler's revenge is me enjoying myself. That's what his revenge is. I get to have a fun time where wind blows in my face and I go at a high speed.

Yeah, it doesn't really make sense. The history of any of these characters that have been around for a long time don't make sense in general. Batman, I think, is very flexible. Probably the most flexible character in the sense that he can be dumb, stupid. He can be fascist Frank Miller Batman batman he can be adam west batman and it all works so it really it does it makes sense that the properties uh are like the batman properties are like this where there's just no logic really when you look at the whole thing as a whole you know 80 or whatever how long 40 years of batman

rides whatever it is uh i mean i guess you're going back are you starting from 92 in your mind yeah i guess that all right i guess i can't do math i guess that's more like 30 years yeah still quite a while thing um let me throw down this this blanket statement why i think you know we've certainly talked about all this over the years leading up to this episode but this is i was trying to encapsulate what is my thinking and what i think how do i think i explain the the like the disappointment maybe of where batman lies in theme park world and tell me if you agree or disagree with this statement uh i think that batman is the biggest american pop culture property that doesn't have a huge immersive technically innovative ride in america an e-ticket type ride now i'm overlooking some of the international stuff by saying this and international properties and ip but can you think of anything that uh you know tops batman

in terms of like pop culture what the reverence we have for it and that it isn't represented in like an indiana jones adventure rise the resistance kind of way no no i mean he's like the most popular superhero i think still i don't know maybe maybe it's slightly different these days but i think we're already talking about like having three batman movies a year different batmen like we're gonna have so many versions of batman now going at the same time you'll have michael keaton batman maybe zack snyder affleck batman the robert pattinson batman lego there will be a lego lego batman's going on and then there's the animated movies they've been making like tv shows which go in and out there's like there might be one right now i

don't even know there might be one might have probably like four animated ones we don't even know if you go to hbo max and type in batman you are good for a month. Like you are just set of every level of quality, every level of, of era of, um, yeah, whatever you want is there. Including like meet Scooby doo or meet the Ninja turtles.

This is one of those. I believe he met the Ninja turtles. Uh, yeah, there's a rumor that the animated series is going to come back soon. They're going to just do that again. Wow. I don't know if that's true or not. Yes, he's so popular.

The character has lasted forever and it was what I was saying. He's very flexible. You can put him in a lot of different tones and it works. To not have a Spider-Man Islands of Adventure style attraction for him is crazy. Yeah.

It's really crazy if you think about it. I mean, it makes, Superman 2 should have something like that. But Batman is, you know, more popular than Superman because we like a sexy billionaire versus like a humble farm boy who just wants to help you know we are all we all have like we like our tony starks and our bruce waynes we like our elon musk's in this country we don't like humble newspaper man who's just trying to do his best and live a nice life we like jim is that what you mean we need more jim acosta worship and less elon musk worship in this country that's what i'm saying can i also i don't want to sidetrack too much but i was just trying to go is this is what i'm saying literally true there is not a property bigger than batman without a theme

park presence and i did i looked at like a wikipedia of the most successful franchise there is one can't be think of and it's and this is apparently the biggest this is bigger than anything disney is bigger than mario there is something that is that it does not have a permanent theme park presence do you have any idea james james bond james no actually that's a good one though there is not really... There's very little James Bond in Theme Park World. Yeah, little stuff. What I'm thinking... Is it like Teen Teen? Asian, I'll tell you.

What's that? Is it like Tintin? No, no. From another country, or... Land Before Time? Beethoven. Beethoven's Third? The Sandlot, anything at all. Ohlot anything oh the air buddies the air bud movies

well there should be those are like 10 of those literally be air buddies attractions um is it spongebob no and even that would care there is that right there is some presence yeah uh uh pokemon is what we are oh of course pokemon's bigger in terms of profits than like anything else and there is not a committed there's apparently some traveling theme park called poke park for a while but there has never been like a like this is the committed which that seems kind of crazy and you wonder if that'll work its way into universal and nintendo yeah that's gotta be on the plan that's gotta be in the next because they're doing donkey kong in phase two in in japan so i had imagined that pokemon is coming next or fourth who knows gotta be yeah it has to be soon yeah um maybe those cards close also that's the only other possible competitor

but i don't i still don't feel like and again there are batman rides of course but you know what i'm saying there isn't yes yes here it is the batman ride lord of the rings is still mega popular and this is only anecdotal but it's like my mom likes batman stuff and it's like lord of the rings is like oh she knows what it is but it's like i feel like batman's a little bit more universal in the sense there's at least one version of batman you were having you had a lot of affection for it a certain part in your life versus lord of the rings which has had the movies but that's only in the last i can't do math uh 25 years 50 years when did the first one come out 1998 50 years ago that's like entirely about those movies and peter jackson as opposed to like that there's like you are there what are there five eras of Batman just in movies

that people are very passionate about all of them yeah and then say on the 60s show for for people that were young and old at that time was a big deal and people loved it and that still looms large and is still you know the best show ever made

still yeah well yeah it's fantastic so yeah I think that it has to be that just from just from the fact that like everyone in america has to have like well yeah i liked batman returns i saw that that was good yeah versus i don't think lord of the rings is quite there but it's some people are just completely out on it as opposed to but as i said there are of course there are are Batman attractions. Does anybody have a more accurate count than I have? I counted 22 separate Batman related ride premises and then an additional two based on the Justice League.

But I could be wrong. I might be missing a bunch, but there's at least. So if we're counting justice league 24 yeah that's like the count i think on the wikipedia of it because the wikipedia lists all the rides i'm sure there's little shows and things that they're not counting yeah that because they do have stunt shows but then they don't have the Streetmysphere show. They do it, the Dubai World on this list. That's not tracked by Wikipedia, the Dubai Streetmysphere? For some reason, the show where the Joker picks someone out of the audience in Dubai

and goofs on him is not on this list. Oh, I'm excited to learn. So there's stuff, yeah, there's stuff not here. Yeah, so that's stuff yeah there's stuff not here yeah it's so that's about right but i'm sure there's an actually very specific number yeah that somebody is mad at us now because they knew it already well it fluctuates so much because some of these have closed i've got some that are like and these all closed uh are these all closed in this year there There's one... There's a coaster that I myself experienced that did not last super long,

unlike the original Batman the Ride, which that I will say, at its time... Maybe we should just get into this. This is the first one. Batman the Ride, notable for a number of reasons. First opened at Magic Mountain in 1992, then Great Adventure in 1993, and then just down the list of Six Flags parks.

They put it everywhere, seemingly. The first, notable for being the first inverted roller coaster. The first, your little footsies are dangling off the coaster the track is above you this is different from a suspended coaster like say the big bad wolf in bush gardens where the there's a car you're in a car that's dangling below the track but this right bnm coaster uh developed with six flags uh was uh that technically was a technological innovation at its time and had a big property you know it's 1992 it's a few years after

the first imburton batman it's the same summer um that batman returns opens that was also 92 i believe can i can i correct you and say that i think i believe great america was the first one what did i adventure is second great america wait did we went great america great adventure magic mountain evidently and great america is was mike's oh you're right i can never Great America. Sorry. Great America and Great Adventure. This is another one of these thin parses of theme park name that I can never remember. But that's yours, though. Yeah, Great America was mine.

I remember this commercial coming on TV, and it was like, Batman, the ride. And I was very excited at first. And then I saw a dangling legs coaster and i was like i'll never ride that right i'll never go on this uh and i'll be very honest with the audience i still have not been on a batman the ride i've been on a batman ride coaster but i've not been on the batman the ride ever in my life wow uh i am i will i would do it now but as we've said before i don't like dangling legs it scares me sure it just feels it feels unsecure i feel like my leg

is gonna get caught on something you know well this is one of the rides that has killed somebody somebody did die not on the ride but like it was this was the one where somebody snuck into an area they weren't supposed to be in. And then a train went by, which led to the thing where the Six Flags CEO or whatever is saying this very gravely in front of a dancing octopus. So there is a danger to it. So you're trying to scare me further. I guess so. About going on it. You're going to hurt some further i guess so going on it you're gonna hurt some kid at this

point i remember i this is a time how old am i i can math here i was 31 when this came out uh no i was eight i guess yeah i was eight when this started i had not seen the first two batman michael keaton movies um because my mom thought they were too scary for me and she i guess she just she went to see batman returns i remember with her friend and came back and was like you can't see that she didn't say it's because the penguin is too horny and i will not allow you to watch that but i bet that was part of she might not remember that's why but if you watch the movie now you go oh the penguin is too horny for a young child to watch like they do not need to see this man do this

i'd be more i just wouldn't let a kid watch it almost more out of the the various biles and yeah the black blood as a kid scared me i never saw any of these in theaters until batman begins i don't think i saw really you didn't see the other theaters but i had all the toys uh yeah at least batman returns i i don't think i maybe i had a little from batman forever um i that's interesting i saw i saw a clip i remember we were walking in a mall in like 1990 or 91 and some some store was playing a clip of batman the 89 uh michael keaton jack nicholson version and it's the scene where uh jokers put the makeup over his white face to look like he has skin tone and then she throws the water at him and he pretends that

like acid is burning him and then he like takes his hands away and he like scares her because it's like half white half skin tone i got so scared from just like standing with my like hands on the glass of like a video store and i remember like running away from the store i was so afraid of jack nicholson and that thing and i remember going yes my mother is correct this is not a movie i should be watching i am not ready to handle this um so i was not ready for the bride i was not ready for those movies i think it was the fact that i was young and scared and then my brother was three years younger than me so even more young and scared so the first two tim burton movie uh tim burton

batman movies off the table uh yes batman i don't know why we didn't see batman forever and batman and robin i swear i did not see those in theaters. For whatever reason, my middle school got a hold of a copy of Batman and Robin on VHS, and teachers would put it on on fun days. And I was very into Batman at the time, but I was very, I liked serious Batman, and I thought

Batman and Robin was very ridiculous. You were mad at it? I was mad at it. I didn't really remember much of clips from batman forever but i re-watched it a couple days ago and i was just the mind boggles that movie this is really something i was just this is what we were trying to this is what we were trying to avoid uh when we started doing this episode to put a stopwatch on it you're gonna really have to because right now jason's i'm itching. I'm itching to

talk about the movies. I just want to talk. I think the biggest thing was the Chase Meridian, the hoardiest character in fiction. Well, for the first half of the movie and then they remember they made her a psychiatrist and they're like, oh, we should have her do some psychiatry. Make her go like

your dreams, your dreams are telling me something bruce like i saw batman forever and loved it we saw it yeah i loved it i was obsessed with it and i this is gonna this is too personal and i will keep this as clean as i can i i the one of the first memories i have of like uh any sort of uh uh feeling amorous was watching this movie. You've said this, but I'm very confident. If you haven't said it before on the show, you've said it to us in person

upwards of five times. Every time we've ever been together? Yes, yeah. Did you guys know that when I saw Batman Forever, I sort of felt like an urge, you know, those urges you do when you're in your formative years. But why'd you call me at two in the morning to say that?

Oh, I just thought I hadn't told you about it yet. I just thought I, I just thought you should know. You've never called me before for any reason. Yeah, no, but I just,

I just kind of came across my mind in the middle of the night and I felt like, uh, yeah, no, but the whole movie, everything about it, Jim Carrey was the hottest actor at the time. I felt like uh yeah no but the whole movie everything about it Jim Carrey was the hottest actor at the time I thought he was the funniest guy

I had just seen the fugitive I think on video cassette I like Tommy Lee Jones oh Jim Carrey every element top of his game like at the top yes height of his like success and and let's not forget the McDonald's glasses the cups yes the glasses that were

like i still have we still have them at my parents house it's like uh two-face carved into glass his coins are the handle some of the finest glassware i've ever seen they've lasted the test of time alone oh i can't even i can't say enough about those glasses okay but back to batman the ride back to the bird if we have to because batman the ride is so tim burton batman and you know the coaster was as i said the first inverted roller coaster and it also i i have to give it a lot of credit because i think bat the Ride and its surrounding queue and stuff is a great demonstration of like, if you don't have a lot of money,

or I mean, I guess they had a good amount of money, but if you don't have Disney or Universal level budgets for theme parks, Batman Forever, if you, Batman the Ride, sorry. You got forever's on the brain. Oh, God. It's like enigma put his machine right on your machine it's too hard the pull of the movie is too great the theming for six flags the theming of batman the ride is pretty good there's a beat-up cop car there's like

pipes there's it's very industrial that probably helps that you can buy pipes and concrete very quickly. Beat up cop cars. The statues. Those big statues in the front. Big statues. And you enter through the Ace Chemical plant, kind of. There's a Batman suit in some of them. And the Gotham City music.

I mean, it probably helps to have Danny Elfman music and Prince music at your disposal. That probably helps your scene setting. Do they still, or is that still what you're hearing today if you go there, or do they now just playing, like, rock from eight years ago? Like, have they

kept up the theming, is my question. They're mostly playing the greatest hits of the fray in there or a vertical horizon yeah a lot of sum 41 yeah fat lip by some 41 on a loop uh i actually don't know that that's a good question i would hope that they are still doing that because that at least music is so important and soundtrack is so important i think we were talking about on our jurassic quest patreon just having a soundtrack can do 50 25 of the work of a themed experience yeah i would hope at least that great danny elfman

batman theme is in there if not party man or bat dance which is we should talk about at length at a certain point too i i remember that tense when i went a few times in the span of a few years in high school i just remember that song like in gotham city like kind of like a ballad song about wait wait wait wait are you talking about the r kelly song no yeah oh yes you are i think you are my friend my friend you're talking about the artist i did i didn't know there was an art you are talking about the batman and robin song it's from that movie and it's r kelly and what you're if you want me to do the chorus it's city of justice city of love city of people home to everyone oh my god because we all need it can't live without it gotham city oh yeah well that's what they were playing in 2001 uh well that's not as good

turned yet yeah yeah that's not quite as good that song makes no sense that's not what gotham city is like it does not reflect it's almost as if he didn't learn anything about what gotham city is like to make the song gotham city i think that that's a strong possibility yes uh that song it makes no absolutely no sense but they were they were going to try to get a big hit i think i don't know if it was a mild hit i'm not sure um i don't i get can a bit they like pushed it to where we thought it was a hit there was a similar bad one for ali called the world's greatest it was like a ballad about being a boxer these were not this is why like all right guess what you can't listen to r kelly anymore sounds good to me yeah i'm going to miss the world's greatest.

No problem. Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, nothing can touch Kiss from a Rose as far as, like, a big Batman ballad. Even I, like, Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me a lot, which I referenced earlier. But that was not a hit, like, Kiss from a Rose. That has not culturally lasted i think the dna of the spider-man musical you could hear and uh hold me thrill me kiss me oh i've you can i've yes i

think i've brought up that on this podcast before that yeah yeah they've yeah i think that's probably other than a freak like me the best a better song than most of the spider-man soundtrack honestly but that's like we can't talk about the star the highest compliment i can give to a song it's better than the spider-man turn off the dark soundtrack it is better than you're welcome for that compliment uh yeah so uh the other thing that sticks out some other stuff that sticks out my mind about batman the ride um i'm gonna show you guys an image this image they got so much marketing material out of this loop i remember right right as a still image and as a footage six flags used this for years and years in at least in great adventure advertising

i think in everywhere advertising right it is very familiar i think it's a more confident choice than this marketing they were going with at the time six flags great adventure bigger than disneyland and closer to home there's an yeah there's an ad i saw where they go hey disneyland is great but hey you can't always go there so it's a whole thing it's a whole thing and then that that ad they have to put fine print on that astroworld is not bigger except astroworld uh at the bottom of the screen literally undercuts it it does undercut it and then like it's always closer they say it's like closer to home too and they like show the map where all the six flags are and i'm like looking and i'm like there's several states where there's not a

very close one just because there's like 10 of them and not two and the other thing they bury the lead on um if you look at this operating character you'll notice uh operating calendar is closed uh for six months of the year. Six Flags Great Adventure in 1993. All of March. All of March. You could not go there during that time and buy this shirt of Batman perched. Oh, man. That's cool.

I love that. That's probably worth... I don't know. This is a side note, but do you know these old Batman comic shirts are worth hundreds of dollars now? This, I think think is 50 or 70 that's not bad there's vintage comic book shirts now from like our childhood that's that are worth like 800 like a like a full magneto face t-shirt is worth like two grand if it's in decent shape

it's crazy great velcro wallet here for batman oh wow hey did we all have velcro wallets as kids multiple yeah yeah i think so maybe even with might have even had a mickey mouse one if you can believe it wow yeah i had a baseball one believe it or not i know that seems like a baseball it was like blue and i like just a baseball on it wow it's the idea of baseball it's so funny because it's kids carrying wallets it's just like you're pretending it's like you have a five dollar bill in there and that's it yeah what do we put in them a photo of dr chase meridian well i had a full fold out wallet like if like yeah your kids in there and it was just chase uh Batman on the rooftop. Chase meeting Batman on the

street. They're centerfold but fully clothed. Right. Chase from the promo shots that were in the soundtrack I owned. I bought a Nickelodeon Velcro wallet at King's Dominion and then proceeded to place the dollar I

had left into the wallet because I had spent the rest of my money on the wallet and uh so that's something and then when i started to get into like eight i think when i turned eighth grade i was like i need a different wallet and and got like a surf company like just a blue canvas like velcro wallet that sounds like that's the choice you made at that time for us in the the late 90s yeah well how do i dress cool these people are wearing a shirt with like a wave on it great am i cool now no yeah great um but yeah i you know i don't mean to undercut um batman the ride with what i was saying i'm just thinking you know for the stuff that we

salivate over which is like robots and technological innovation it does not have that it does have technological innovation in that it's the first uh inverted coaster um i don't know it's like a good it's a it's a real good start you got good ads out of it there's mood it is like let's take the burton vibe and put it in a physical place. You got the, just the logo. Just putting that logo and putting it into stone goes a long way. It's still one of the great logos. Wordless.

You like get kind of a chilling feeling from it without any further explanation. So they, I don't know. They, they, they like squeezed a lot uh out of that fruit i feel like with this ride yeah it just yeah it just you never quite got the feeling and i'm trying especially if it's like spider-man or of yeah as you're saying indiana jones where you were like transformed post-ride you know where you're like oh now i've now i've been on an adventure with the character in a way that felt way different yeah from anything i had been on before and there's attempts there's clear getting closer lately but still not there yet quite yes yeah yeah now there was a thing at the time that I think got, like, that I didn't know about

that is like a little, like, okay, that's getting there. That's almost like Star Tours, but for Batman. As Jason mentioned earlier, Batman Adventure The Ride. But the audience probably doesn't know about this because this was in Germany and Australia. So it was pretty difficult to go on this thing. But this was essentially if there was Star Tours but for Batman Returns. Yes. And this is

closer, I feel like, than the new Dubai version of this. I think so. If you watched that video, which still looks fun, but it's a similar ride. But I think that other one seemed like it got closer because i think you got and i'll say it a little bit more intimacy with the characters yeah not with chase meridian

but with other no other not with the other characters yes exactly i mean batman batman adventure the ride has a lot going for it You enter through a secret passage in the library. Good. The team members, the employees, dress like little Alfred helpers with waistcoats and bow ties. That's good. Yes. Very good. One iteration of it

had an animatronic Batman. Not a lot of movement, but sitting at the back computer right in front of you. Good. That's good. Yes. We like that. Animat this is that's what's still very rare i feel yeah um yeah it's it's and i think i was saying this i know people are i saw people were mad at us anytime we talk rise of the resistance but the stuff on rise of the resistance rise of the resistance i like the best is when your character you see them they're interacting with you and I think that's the

I think that's sometimes what maybe the people designing they want to go with thrills and even like feeling of scope over moments like that because I think what Spider-Man did in such a perfect way is combine all of it the characters are so big

they're on the hood of your vehicle so you leave that ride going like doc ock was in my face he was in my face for a moment of time i know that character already that was either cool or scary interesting whatever and then spider man as well so like it feels like you were next to them while it was happening versus some of this batman stuff where it's like batman's in the bad plane and he's like maybe 5 000 feet away from me and i'm squinting a little bit i'm sure it was better when you were actually on the ride but it's like there's that's that's the thing that's missing and it doesn't even have to be robots it would be preferable to be robots but it's like i think that's sort of the human element of it to me is actually what you want and i almost feel like some of these there's like a joker maze

in one of these uh in the dubai park it's like stuff like that almost ends up maybe being more memorable than some of these like simulator rides that they've done yeah here's here's what i think is is maybe getting in the way of the great batman ride is casting the eras have changed so much almost nobody has been in more than two or three batman movies so like who is batman who is the joker it changes all the time and often they're the biggest stars in the world and in the 90s it was tougher to get the biggest stars in the world to be in your rides however um the the indiana jones adventure is an extremely uh successful indiana jones ride that does not have harrison ford so it's right it's possible you can do and i think like a bat Batman figure that reminds you of Michael Keaton or Val Kilmer to a much lesser extent. George Clooney would still like that's why the one that even doesn't even do anything in the simulator.

I'm like, OK, closer. That's almost there. But I think it makes the casting thing gets in the way of the intimacy that you're looking for. Like who is going to do it? Who will agree to do it? Well, I mean, they have the longest running Batman is a guy named Kevin Conroy, who's been doing the voice in a lot of different media since animated series. His voice is on the Justice League ride.

He did the Arkham City and Arkham Asylum games. So they have him. But as far as look wise, he has now done the character in different media with different looks so he looks like the fun bruce tim like noir old time cool animated style but he's also looks like that like everyone's just dripping with steroid arkham asylum video game aesthetic where everyone's just fucking jacked and mad and it's cool it's a cool look too so it's like there's like i guess they're yeah they're like probably in a tough spot because it's like well what do we even do right now people probably know even though ben affleck's been

batman more recently people probably know the christian bale stuff the best right now that's probably the freshest in people's mind because some people don't love batman versus superman some people it's their religion in case you didn't know yes yeah i don't i'm scared of it all i saw the one movie three hours four four no no batman versus super oh the extended cut that's on hbo max yes yes is like three hours or two and a half hours. I was like, oh, that's long. And then Justice League is four hours. And I'm like, I don't know. I liked Aquaman.

I thought Aquaman was fun. I don't really, I haven't seen most of these other movies. I'm tapping out of this whole thing. I'm tapping out. I've been trying to spend less time on the internet and meditate more. And it's been much, I'm happier. I'm less depressed.

It's weird. Oh, that's nice. But because you mentioned Kevin Conroy, Kevin... Okay, that's the name, right? Kevin Conroy? Kevin Conroy, yeah. Yeah.

It sounds like it's him in the second version of the Batman Adventure. Probably. Yeah, I think it is. I think that's right. So the Batman Adventure motion simulator ride ride the first version is like live action in the tim burton uh verse and filmed on the sets and you can tell like they're at warner brothers feel like when the movie cleared out of shooting like it's like the the penguin rubber duck and all that stuff. Like, you so feel it.

I was, like, surprised how much this stuff seemed cool and that I didn't know about it before. So, yeah. Like, this is neat. Pretty good. And at first, I thought we were going to clown on it because the opening of it is slowly driving through a lot of crowd scenes, then quickly driving through an alleyway. And then it opens up to like crazy action sequences right where does it go again i don't i i so remember that you're on the streets of gotham and it's so cool to see burton gotham and that they just moved a camera around but

what happened what's the second half i actually don't remember they the penguin rubber ducky vehicle flies you start flying and chasing it and then i believe you chase him into his layer and like stuff blows up i think the penguins are shooting the rockets at you um there is a footage where a sound alike is speaking in german like doing the danny devito penguin voice in German is just, uh, it's great. It's, it's delightful. Cool. Yeah, that's very cool. I,

I, I watched Batman, Batman returns not long ago and just the whole aesthetic. It's so Burton. It's so much like Burton. He has every watched this recently. Yes, I,

I did not too long. Sort of issue that opening. I mean, every, yeah, everything aesthetically, those ducks, everything lends themselves to such a cool theme park world in that movie. I mean, a lot of the Batman movies, but the first four, I would say, not as much than

Nolan, even though they've done stuff in Dubai that's Nolan-inspired. Well, so much of Nolan is in Chicago brittsburgh as opposed to the stylized shot on the lot shot in a giant sound stage which is like lends itself to theme park more easily than a real city yes i remember this is how stupid i was i remember being like batman begins and i like batman begins and i still do but i remember being like yeah this is the way it's done it's not the old way that's stupid and then like a couple years later i was like what what was wrong with you yeah like a fun nonsense is better than not as good as as jason said bat like batman forever is the sweet spot batman and robin it is is kind of the the definition

of jumping the shark i would love i will i'd gladly watch it tonight i love watching batman and robin but i remember how even at the time like you're like jason was saying you know it's got to be grittier even i felt that way even as a kid it didn't like i think kids were not tricked by it there's something no i didn't quite work i agree i mean i was we made fun of it i think immediately after seeing it like we knew it didn't work. We couldn't articulate why. But I do maintain that you take all the sets and the actors, and you just make a better script and direct it differently. And it's closer to a 60s...

They thought they were making 60s Batman. In 60s Batman, I think somewhat there's a misconception that that was an earnest attempt or a sincere attempt at a superhero versus a subversive funny tongue-in-cheek smart it's like a you know like um satirical almost right yeah it's funny on purpose before naked gun yeah it's funny on purpose but i still think people think oh that was the cheesy one and that was like but it was like they knew what they were doing and it's funny i think they thought batman and robin was that yeah well i think i think batman forever does a better job like batman i think marries the tim burton uh aesthetic and the 60s batman vibe and adds a lot of camp

like oh yeah and there's a well i think we said this before there's a supposedly a three-hour cut somewhere a schumacher cut of batman forever jeez which i want to see that's the cut i want to see even more than the snyder cut but what jason's saying if the all right yes and a sprinkle of camp and that's what helped forever be good batman and robin is like your little like container of camp the lid came off and like the entire container of camp yeah as if like a whole thing of cinnamon just like plopped into your uh whatever dish you're making like it's kind of like if batman forever is you were out all night partying and having a great time batman and robin is like

when the sun is coming up and you catch a look at yourself in the mirror and you're like oh no oh dear sleep i completely agree with what you're saying i'm just saying that i think in hindsight with batman and robin they watch the 60s show and they go okay got it it's full of puns yeah and they're all winking at the camera and they're not like adam west is playing it as dry and straight as possible and clooney's doing that whole performance like kind of winking at the camera the whole time the script isn't funny it's full of bad arnold schwarzenegger puns like i'm just saying i think aesthetically there's it's not such a disaster if they had made some tweaks to it.

I would agree with that. Because costumes are cool. The costumes are cool. The sets are cool. All that stuff is fine. I can't defend, though, this is well-trodden territory, but the nipples and the penises.

I can kind of defend the nipples and the penises. It is insane. You, with your action figures and your intimacy. Yeah, you know, the nipples are crazy. The nipples are crazy. They didn't just do it and like, if you notice it, you notice it. It's like

punch in on nipple. Close up of rubber nipple. It is pretty crazy. It's one of the craziest things ever to be done in like a $200 million movie. It's really insane. Like Batman suiting up and making sure to take an extended shot of ass. Just punch in on his butt. His velvet butt.

There is a figure. There's these figures called hot toys that I've brought up before. That's the Adam West. Unfortunate timing. Unfortunate. The Adam West that I have, that Batman is a hot toy, and it's like a very articulated doll. And they're making, Jason has seen this, they're making Batman Forever Ones. And Scott, I don't know, did I send this to you? I don't think I did.

They're making Batman Forever Ones. Yeah, I threwman three in the morning several times over the last six months oh man i must have blacked out and done that uh they're making batman forever ones and i will say uh i'll show you the picture of chris o'donnell's robin oh boy here we go Here, let me show it off. The hottest hot toy that ever was. Yeah, it is. He's pretty cute. I don't know, my killing time pretending he doesn't have it bookmarked. This, look, Scott, here, you see this?

Wow. Oh, my God. That is the bulgiest. Why are you? You should be offended by this, by your your typical demeanor i am offended by it it's so i don't know why it's like this i don't know why he has such a big bulge because it wasn't uh yeah you see like it's like shadowed there's a far away picture of the toy here and it's got shadow you would be able to see you you would be able to see this toy's giant dick like from a hundred feet away it's like he has two extra penises in there he jammed a couple more in that

is and nipples there's nipples on these there weren't nipples oh yeah yeah and forever this was this is crossing where i don't know wait a minute am i wrong wait a minute but it was such an uproar in batman and robin the first half of the movie he wears the burton suit pretty much with the yellow and then that gets destroyed and they're like try it try oh they got nipples yeah he's got nipples here look at him nipples okay and robin gets a suit at the end of the movie when batman gets his new suit so um alfred's like i took

care of it i added the nipples and alfred no don't forget that alfred himself molded the nipples heavily implied suit me up uncle alfred uh buzzsaw almost done master suit me up uncle alfred uh buzzsaw

almost done master there is i mean i don't know that it needed to be explored in like a big budget movie but there is obviously some weird like snm shit going on with a guy who dresses up in black rubber at night to beat up people

like yeah there's some weird there's some weird stuff going on there so i wouldn't it wouldn't be crazy if you go like if we knew in real life there was a person that was dressing up in black rubber and went up like outside to get like to get himself beat up and to go beat people up and you go that guy also has rubber nipples on his costume you go oh yeah of course of course that's you wouldn't be surprised and scandalized yeah right oh all superheroes have psychosexual madness behind i mean wonder woman the guy created wonder woman was very into bondage stuff and that's why all the early early wonder woman

comics are like women who are dominating men tying men up william marston william marston yeah they had he and his wife had an 18 year old lover who was the basis for wonder woman he he was of the idea that men should just uh a lot like submit to women in every like every way essentially and that society would be better for that that was his philosophy on it um there's a lot of interesting stuff so you know you give schumacher a lot of credit for going there that's what i'd like so you know you give schumacher a lot of credit for going there that's what i'd like to say he really actually was tapping into a comic he almost was thinking more like a comic mind in a way yes he and i'd like to and i'd like to thank the good

folks at hot toys for making a giant package on the chris o'donnell toy thank you pretty jaw drop that feels bigger than in the film um that's i will say i will have to put it if i went i was gonna say when if i get it but let's be honest when i when you get it i'm gonna have to put it away for you i'm gonna have to like put it like oh my boss is coming over i'm gonna have to hide the chris o'donnell toy and that's like it's like uh frank Frank Nelson, Gail Gordon type character. Well, Michael, thank you for inviting me to your house. Oh, great. This was a wonderful evening.

Let me just go get my coat out of the closet over here. It's me, your boss, Peter Forever Dog. The Brett is scandalized. Oh, wait, my coat is caught on something. I don't. He falls. The toy hits him in the head. He's stuck under it Oh, wait. My coat is caught on something. I don't... Ah! He falls. The toy hits him in the head. He's stuck under it, the weight of it.

The Chris O'Donnell's toy penis is holding me down on the floor. Michael! Now, don't move it, because if I pull it out, you might bleed more. It's actually stopping the bleeding, so we have to keep it right in your eye. We have to get to the hospital. We have to keep it right in your eye. We have to, we have to get to the hospital. We have to, we're going to have to drive all the way to the hospital,

which is a half hour away and past everyone, you know, and they, they may see you with Robin thrust into your face. I'm sorry, Mr. Forever dog, Mr.

Forever dog. We have bad news. We're going to have to chop off the figure but you will have to have the penis remain stuck in your head for the next six weeks well I've got a meeting tomorrow with John and Jane Brooklyn and what are we going to do about that we all

have to just dress it up I don't know what to tell you but this is just a medical opinion you can get a second one if you want but then you'll have to drive by another set of people apologize for that but that's the best we can do please see this a lot lately please don't take away our christmas bonus of a second hello fresh ad read it's gonna happen pretty much just like this we were right in the middle of a of a really specific jason fact which was that it's about batman adventure the ride there was this burtney one

and then they redid it in like 2002 correct uh i think around that yeah so the burtney one is is live action footage some some you you know, plenty of effects and stuff. And then Batman Adventure The Ride 2, they redid it with like computer generated animation. And this is kind of more, as Mike was saying, like I guess the term, for simplicity's sake, generic Batman. It does have the Kevin Conroy voice,

but you kind of get a more generic version of batman and batgirl catwoman uh mr freeze it does still come out in uh uh there's a crashed thing in the penguins uh layer i think you still exit into that but who cares it's fun um but you like this is where and and like there's well we have a number of things to hit a lot of them i'm not like super like well we gotta talk this and this and this because there are there is this format that i feel like a couple things have hit that is and then there's all the villains but they're none of them are in like a sort of iconic mode it's like the way they would all look on a on a folder or a lunchbox you would have like i think i think some of these brides fall

victim to the same trap of all right so you got to fit them all in and then there's the joker and it's him with a big smile but like which joker is this this is just like every joker and no joker i think i think that generic cgi jokers don't do it for me i don't think they solve the getting the great batman ride yeah i mean that's part of it i mean i the animated i keep going back to spider-man because i think it's probably the gold standard superhero ride at this still and it is genera we aren't like like it's great because toby mcguire's in it that's not what it is and yet it's it's really wonderful yeah um but i think that yeah you feel like you know the characters better coming off the ride i think if you were to really if you were on some other planet and the joker wasn't the hamlet of

our time and you didn't know that character and you didn't know that he's multiple oscars have been won by only the greats take on right i think you wouldn't have a feeling about him from seeing the just the ride versus like the you would kind of remember like oh yeah there was like that scream lady i remember what she looks like right she really scared me i remember what she did like i think though all those characters make such a better impression on you partly because they're so much closer to you and then i don't know i i don't want to say something crazy like oh their their characterization of them are so much better i don't think that's it

but i just think things they do are more memorable and they just they're they're with they're closer to you for a longer time i think that's the i think that's more of the difference uh and all maybe the maybe what you're saying though with joker is like we've seen so many and it's so many great versions of the joker like which i'm just making fun of it but like all the jokers are pretty good caesar romero joker is great mark hamill joker like which i'm just making fun of it but like all the jokers are pretty good caesar romero joker is great mark hamill joker is fantastic yeah uh heath ledger joker fantastic i don't love the new joker movie but walking phoenix is good in it like he's he's doing yeah well and it's like iconic immediately whether or not you you like it and there's moments that i make

fun of but then there's one something yeah he's pretty good he's pretty good there right and yeah obviously jack's great uh and then there's been other like other ones like john dimaggio played him i think in one of the direct to dvd movies pretty uh so i yes it feels after all of those jokers to sort of just see uh yeah an okay guy laughing i've got you batman yeah it's just not yeah yeah like yeah you got you there's got to be a a choice or you have to use one of them or or something yeah it's a weird maybe you just got to stay away from the joker which seems like why take that off the table with a batman ride but it seems like a like a trap it's a ticket to generic town. Well, let me pitch you what happens sometimes if you try to get away from the classics.

Let me pitch you a Batman ride that is like the antithesis of Batman the Ride. Okay. And it's a coaster, and it's called Batman and Robin the Chiller. Do either of you guys know about this? I know there's a big video about it and i i don't i don't know the gist actually okay i want to talk do you know i know i just looked

into a little bit i think jason obviously knows more than i do this so go ahead oh because i wrote it i did this ride oh wow okay let me show you um this image to give you an idea of what you're working with here so this is what you enter into um there's a lot going on in this picture uh which i'll make sure to post you know you've got more industrial stuff you've got the batman and robin logo you've got the funky 90s fast lane skip the line that's quite a lot and you got like sort of a uh big limp biscuit head uh hanging out i wouldn't go in this line not because it's a scary coaster because like i'd be worried about that guy well he might start moshing he might tell you he's gonna mosh in me and the guy the other guy over there i think the six flags employee is sort of dressed like dennis nedry from drastic park

big yellow slicker yeah yeah and a hat right blue shirt yes uh the other employee has some real baggy khakis on uh this is a uh this is an era so you've been on this i've been on this so this ride um it comes to a dead end that's the other thing notable for this it dead ends this ride opened in june of 1997 same month as the batman and robin movie and i remembered this ride because my dad and i went to six flags once and we wrote it and immediately both had to sit down because it was it was one of those ones where it's like, oh, my God, I feel awful. Like, what the hell? The shoulder restraints, you just got rocked by those shoulder restraints.

And it was just so unpleasant. My dad had been having, like, hip issues, like, on and off. And, like, getting off this ride, he's's like i have to take an advil like that was so bad and then we went on superman the escape the drop ride that slides down and he's like oh that fixed it that fixed it i feel i feel a hundred percent i texted him to confirm did this ride fix your hip or fuck it up and he's like no this ride was awful this ride was rough superman the escape was the thing that fixed it um cartoon characters solve problems that's right in the head and it fixed the

wow back into place so you remember jason as a kid though, that jacked you up real bad. I would have been like 15, maybe. Yeah. And so prime roller coaster riding age. But yeah, I didn't realize. I was like, is this still there? And it closed in 2007. But I didn't realize it was plagued with technical difficulties. So it opens June of 1997.

And then it closes two weeks later uh because it it was a it's a launch coaster that used the linear induction motors to launch like um you know this is shortly after out of outer limits flight of fear and uh this is right before the incredible whole coaster if you remember the incredible whole coaster they built extra generators so that it didn't, uh, fuck up the power grid using so much energy. Batman and Robin, the chiller used just under the amount of energy as the incredible hope

coaster. Cause it launched two coasters at once. The Batman track and the Robin track were different and it was pulling so much power it became a real problem that six legs had to fix before they could reopen it a year later in 1998 wow that's crazy yeah all right we got it the other thing that was notable for me, and Theme Park History has a long video about this on YouTube, the shoulder restraints, everyone hated them, and they became a real problem that you could not ride this ride if you had earrings in, because you would get bounced around so much,

people were coming off with bloody ears. Oh, my God. Jesus. Yeah. That's insane um and and then they sold it to a park in brazil it languished in a lot in new jersey and then they decided it was too much work to install it was just a debacle this whole endeavor this is crazy because it's like this is still this still happens like that green Lantern coaster they opened a couple years ago, but then had to take apart because it's just it was too painful. It was like they're like really still experimenting with like what the human body will accept as a thrill experience. Six flags.

Yeah, they'll just like hammer something together and like, oh, is it safe? Yeah, sure. Probably. I think only one way to find out if if uh if we get 10 000 guests saying they hate it we'll take it down and like we got to get to that number though i mean everyone calling the governor uh you just need a certain amount of signatures and then we'll consider it yeah if somebody comes by the uh the the like guest services booth and says that that sucked if we get to 10 we'll mark it down on a whiteboard one wait in my school growing i always my i think my mom told me like well if you if we get three inches of snow you get a snow day

and i was always just watching the news broadcast did we get three inches did we get three inches does six flags have that for amount of blood like it's like all right once we fill up this beaker with blood we gotta redo we gotta double check everything put in a wider beaker then it'll take longer no same height three inches but make it more of a trough yeah um yeah that's that's so when did you say that wait they took it down how long 2007 it was it was finally closed still lasted a while uh yeah lasted a while your bloodner your blood and your blood and her lasted like a decade over a decade your blood and then imagine the high that they must have been on the six flags great adventure executive so it's like we got a batman and robin coaster the same month as this big movie yeah we did it well i think that i think

batman and robin was cursed the curse of the movie itself, I guess, cursed this attraction. And then another one, which is Mr. Freeze the coaster, which is in, I think, a Texas one and a St. Louis one. And I will never remember the Six Flags park names. This will not happen. But those are the places. And Mr. Freeze was supposed to open in May 97 to go right alongside the release. And as part of that schwarzenegger and clooney were going to be there they were actually going to come uh and be the first to write it but the launch this is another launch one and it didn't work right so they had

to push it till the next year and by that point of course schwarzenegger and clooney are washing their hands of the entire thing they don't want any part of it um so uh that all fell apart but they still got their um promotional opportunity and their big celebrity uh not not too like they have got it eventually because they changed the eventually they put it in reverse they reopened it and just put the ride backwards and to do to commemorate that they did an event where uh uh okay look at the lavishness of this event um there are silver balloons that say mr freeze uh the letters are starting to come apart so you might not be able to it might not be too legible um there's a bunch of silver women you know like mr freeze would have around the their dressettes they're dressed like his his

wife that's in the tube they're dressed like they're dressed like nora nora nora which is how the guy said it on the animated series which i always say nora oh i just got i mean i it's in my head from the movie because that's that's uh that's the arnold version's quest is that's why he's doing all these bad to get the one more giant diamond my love one more so i can find the cure they make him like a moat and he cries and then the tear yes turns into ice yes that's fantastic i do like that movie um but this this photo you might not be able to see uh the celebrity because there is a an ice sculpture with the name of it mr freeze reverse the attack i don't know what it's called uh but there's two guys with chainsaws one is some guy and the other one that's vanilla ice baby ice to come um who i think raises it and like mr freeze you ready to ride it here we go here we go

yup yup so don't say that you can't get star power at six flags over texas wow that is interesting backwards they they have um since you said the train going backwards, the ride going backwards, Batman the Ride has been run backwards, too. They figured out how to do that. And they also, for some of the Batman the Ride tracks, they painted them over the years. Some of them are bright yellow now,

which I don't quite get. A lot of them were black. Some of them are bright yellow now which i don't quite get uh they were a lot of them were black some of them blue and like yellow is that like little accent on his chest in some of the batman outfits but a big yellow track does not scream batman to me um meanwhile batman and robin the coaster so that came to a dead end hill and then you went back all the way backwards on the track into the station so very complicated ride but um you know hey if you want to look on a bright side um probably an example that the universal people were like well let's make sure this coaster works let's make sure we don't replicate those awful problems with the launching you know right yeah

um here let me uh to jump we're jumping all around here did you guys come across the penguins blizzard river no no what please okay so i believe there wasn't somebody's gonna correct me i'm sure i'm wrong a little bit um but here's the logo for penguins blizzard river right on the right there and looks cool that logo is cool yeah and there looks like there's there was one in kentucky kingdom and look at the outside of it's got like his big top hat there whoa i missed this completely this looks good and look at these pictures like this that's cool oh so it's a rapid ride so it's a rapid ride exactly and there's like penguins like big penguins and there's kind of some gotham city type theming as you're going in the raft the raft like blizzard beach it's cold everywhere

but you can ride on a hot day this is good i like this okay but they made another one and it was at the great six flags america in maryland is that right uh this is what that looks like that's just uh that's just a building that's just that wait yeah it's a water tower family water it looks like shit it looks awful yeah multi-color like it's just a slide it's just a the device to make the raft go up and it's like a couple spins around and then you're done that's not the aesthetic of the penguin whatsoever yes so so they sometimes they like got it writer in a different way but then used the same name and logo and then just did a much cheaper version like Like, you know, there's a big penguin outside that looks kind of like shit.

And it's just like a warehouse with that logo on it. And that's about it. Again. What's the, if you're thinking like Riddler's revenge, there's a, there's like a plan. Like what is the,

what's the point of the penguin having made this blizzard river? It's just going to take you up and then take you down. He's just like, it seems to me like the villains are um very generous they want us to be happy and smiling yeah they're like uh they're like kind of secret they're angel investor types who are you know trying to trick us to go on maybe we think that they're bad but they actually just want us to have a nice time at a theme park today that's really seems to be like a common thing.

They're not trying to destroy us. The joke will be on them because they'll be having a fun splash of a time. Maybe the trick is like, then they'll want to pay $5 and get an annual pass for six flags. They'll end up buying a t-shirt. We cannot do this without going mcgruff i've never we are both doing mcgruff as i have penguin i'm penguin how would you do penguin penguin oh yeah jason try it jason go for penguin i was trying to push jason to be penguin on gotham

oh i was emailing an agent i had at the time going get jason an audition for penguin we real quickly threw together a real like there was something enough level a few levels removed this is not an audition you didn't put on a top hat and put it in no no no if only they yeah it was young penguin and i was like yeah you could do young pet you could do young penguin they went with a very like tall lean broadway guy coming off broadway i think um uh and he was pretty good uh but now there's a chance now's your audition yeah now's the big audition okay i'm gonna say a line a different character said why won't you just die oh anna means family why won't you just die wow well it's pretty clear

you should have gotten the role. It's the show where these guys know a lot about theme parks but then also they're such great impressionists. All three of them. It's uncanny. Who do you think was the best? Who would you say your entrance

was good, his was better to? The famous Jim Carrey lied, which is also recycled in stunt shows. Oh, right. His was better. If we had to all play Batman villains, who would they be? Who would you truly want to play? It doesn't matter.

It can be any version of any character. Who's the most fun? penguin or mad hatter mad hatter in none of the live actions right not been used not in any of the live i would love a good like trippy lewis carroll batman with the mad hatter and we're the ventriloquist that's a tough one michael quite a riddle well i think we know the answer scott is yeah i nailed it you should the listener should have seen the face i made i went real rubber faced with it i like that that's good uh i i like the ventriloquist i think uh hmm what else who who's that not like clay could i be clay face clay face could i be uh cji you know the condiment uh clock king how about clock king for Who's that not? Could I be Clayface? Clayface would be good with a CGI. The Condiment Clock King?

How about Clock King for me? You don't want to be Condiment King? I could be Condiment King too. Or Egghead. Vincent Price's villain, Egghead from the 60s. Gotta go Egghead, I think. Maybe Egghead. Or B, I think I also like

Bane, not Tom Hardy Bane, but Batman and Robin Bane who just seems like sleepy yes Bane's whole thing was like in the comics he's like hyper intelligent guy who's also like very strong and they went the other way with it in that movie

please Bane why you not make me smarter yeah or you know what I could be Louis the Lilac Please, why you not make me smarter? Yeah. Or, you know what? I could be Louis the Lilac, the Milton Berle villain from the 60s show. I'm not sure I ever saw it. I remember looking at books that would say things like that. Like, what are you talking about?

Milton Berle was on it. Louis. Well, there's also Zsa Zsa Gabor's Miss Minerva, who owned the Evil Day Spa. Which is fantastic. When they put on like avocado rubs that burn your skin. And then Batman and Robin both have

like the towels on with their outfits in the episode. This is what you gotta do with that Robin when it shows up. You gotta put a towel on that little guy. A little towel. To cover the nipples. A little, yeah. Not just the nipples a little yeah but not just the nipples all of it i have to i think i have to go back to when the okay in the episode

where you said that you made little beds for the ghostbusters or your babysitter did and that they were made of paper towels um i when aaron was listening to that she was like well you guys shot past the fact that that okay yeah the beds are weird but then that mike's mom thought that they'd be a fire hazard i we i think we didn't address that part and i want to give a little time to that if we could oh yeah i mean this is this gives you a little bit of a window into my childhood uh oh wait great yeah that uh so loose like napkins inside the plastic Ghostbusters house would just spontaneously catch fire in the middle of the night. That was some of the thinking. Because would something spark?

What if a cat knocked a water glass onto the electrical outlet and then a spark came off of that and flew into the Ghostbusters house and into their paper beds? I don't have a good answer for this and i have i bring i relitigate this every few years and i have yet to really get a good explanation of what the concern was really but i have my recollection was they were thrown out maybe the night of this happening okay like the of, I remember, it's a very vivid memory. It's traumatizing to me too. Because I was like, well, their little beds are gone. My mom threw them away.

Worried about a fire. Don't have any, yeah, I don't have. There's like, why wouldn't, so then wouldn't a paper towel roll be the ultimate fire hazard? That's like big and thick that's like that's like you know having an atom bomb in the house i guess the risk of having a paper towel roll in the kitchen was less great than having from the risk of having a few pieces of it in the child's bedroom and scott i would warn you maybe what's that i would warn you just maybe don't leave napkins lying around because they could just set on they just catch on fire i think that's what my mom was

saying well the i mean he the baby's already trying to eat napkins and choke on them i'm worried about that but i was not i've not i've maybe not paid enough attention to the fire issue at hand we've all seen all these news stories about napkins just going up in flames spontaneous napkin fires they're everywhere in your neighborhood in every neighborhood yes uh there are there other things like this from my childhood where you would say why was that a concern yes but they have to be sort of unearthed organically i think or else i would shut down or go into sort of a fugue state if i were to try to bring any other ones up right now

it helps if they're related to an ip that's how we'll get in all which i imagine a lot of them are 100 oh i i had a similar thing where like um we were at a toy store and I wanted to get an action figure that had like a rocket launcher. So something that went into a spring-loaded launcher. Yes. And my mom was like, no. No, I don't think you should have those launching things. That's probably not good. You don't want to get something in the eye

or hit your brother or something. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I have two dozen things that shoot missiles like i have power rangers ghostbusters ninjas they all shoot mitt like why are you suddenly oh and you know what i'm remembering now i believe it was a last action hero uh action figure which another movie i did not see i would have all these toys from in and trading cards for PG-13 movies that I was not allowed to see. And I have no idea why that day she was just like, no, you're not getting something that shoots. And that was the rule from then on.

And I'd say it was probably just like, I don't want to buy another piece of garbage. Or you just got one. But I don't know if she had seen a news broadcast of like someone firing a gi joe missile into someone's eye or something but just needed the nearest excuse to not pay for this yeah i would be more concerned about the thing kids do where they're like overcome with emotion they just like throw something it's like i was like well we're not gonna stop just throwing stuff at each other when we're mad you have two boys what do you think is going to happen we're put on this earth to do yeah that's we're we're good that's the other thing we were good boys like rarely got in trouble

at school and it's like what are these parameters you're establishing what is your concern are we are we maybe unearthing because i think think I'm with you guys on this, that obviously we now go by the moniker of good boys. We're always very well behaved. But did you guys find that despite being good boys, it was often still not good enough? You're like, but compared to other kids, mom and dad dad i think you may be hitting on something that's uh a very common feeling on this podcast yeah i think that's right i think that sort of feels

like you were like put these other what that's i had said this all the time all the time these other kids are dirty like they're dirty and not it's like because like their parents are rich, but these kids are still filthy. Like, and they're assholes. Like, would you prefer I was that? I'm an old dirty kid. Let's see how you like it. Am I still using this argument to this day?

I might be. I might be. Well, do you want me like them? What would you prefer have i said that in the last six months yes have i said in the last six weeks yes also i don't know that that ever ends i think dynamics end up being the same your whole life i'm not sort of fighting the same battle i'm not gonna be better because i get a real estate license okay i'm not going to law school i'm not going back

to business school i can't go back to bit what do you want me to do own a business like that's riskier look i'm sorry that it's not on a show that your parents have heard that your friends have heard of it's hard to get a job on the mentalist and it's not not really what i'm trying to do i'm thrilled i'm thrilled to be on a thing that is canceled immediately like i'm thrilled to be on one episode and we're all fighting to be on these people to be on canceled platforms mom and dad people listen to this podcast we do a podcast that there are some people that listen to it that is actually a thing. Or my argument. People listen to podcasts at all.

Just because it doesn't come in on your flip phone doesn't mean it's not a viable medium. You saw it. People showed up at a live show. That doesn't just happen. Not just like off the street. We didn't pay anybody to come in i guess as with batman and the joker and the penguin our uh battles with our nemeses our arch nemeses will go on and on till the end of time we're dead hey it's like joker says we're destined to do this forever you and i are destined to do this forever big breakthroughs here an hour and 15 into the batman

rides do you do you want to know how we got these scars we were denied we were denied napkin blankets and and missile launchers toy missile launchers I oof this is the first I've been tempted to walk out of the room and take a break during I don't know where to go from there now I just gotta start saying names of rides again

panic find one of my links here I mean did any I think Batman the ride was my my kind of favorite that i call that i called before we started recording like i had we got to make sure to talk about this probably you know start with it i don't know if you guys have other notable like good or bad like ones where you're like i feel like i gotta talk about this one well how about this i don't have a ton to say about it but um there you know we said it's pretty rare that any of these attractions have actors from

the films as i say usually the batman films are populated with the greatest biggest actors of all time uh but there is one there's one that i could think of that actually has a pre-show with somebody from the movie and that is the dark knight coaster which is at three of the six flags great america great adventure six flags mexico and that has an appearance from harvey dent as played by aaron eckhart um yeah did you know that there was there is a pre-show with aaron eckhart doing a part from that's like the most legitimate thing from the movie world I feel like in any of these and it's cool it's good

it's kind of like the writing in it is like Nolan light it's all that like philosophy kind of he sort of like reiterates the kinds of things that the Nolan Batman characters would say and he does a he's doing a press conference

but then the joker hijacks the feed uh so it starts like cutting it up and sort of like almost in like a right-wing media twitter way like using his words against him using the power of editing and then the feed gets hijacked entirely and harvey dent gets ushered away and then the room goes dark and it comes back on well depending on which one you're at in at least one of them uh then uh the like the room goes dark and then when it comes back up the lighting's different it says ha ha ha everywhere in like day glow lighting um and uh you know that's cool like then then what follows is essentially like a wild mouse coaster indoors but that pre-show i'm like this here we go this feels a little bit like disney

and universal it's one actor from the movie they like created a panic it's like oh what if we were in a place that the heath ledger joker was creating havoc in um and we're trapped there's nowhere to go now now we got to go on the scary machine um so i actually think they did a good job with this i this is kind of cool yeah that's cool i i would say like for your question and i i kind of it felt like i was putting it down a little too much the wb world the night flight the practical stuff in some of the screens it's close i i don't want to sound like i'm so shit like talking so much shit on it but it is close like even like poison ivy coming toward the screen is not bad it's pretty i got that i like that that feels closer to being

right and closer to an experience well we should explain this one from the ground up maybe this yeah this is in sorry warner brothers warner brothers world abu dhabi uh it's a pretty recently opened park that is indoors um and they have a whole indoor gotham city area and and this ride is sort of a culmination of it which is very i believe harry potter i think this is a kooka arm whipping you around between screens and some like transitional, uh, practical sets. And there's a little bit of real animatronics in it.

Um, it's, uh, yeah, it's, it's hard to find as with a lot of these, it's hard to find like a really good ride through of it because it is 3d.

Um, so the videos are all a little confusing to watch um but it's yeah this is this one's maybe the closest to me for being like a modern current e-ticket you know i like i bet it's fun to be on in ways that we can't even tell there's probably like 4d kind of elements that we aren't aware of right so i do think it gets from just watching it i think it gets close and like they it has a cool cue and there's some interesting details and fun stuff um and then of course everything as you were saying like everything video wise it's hard to tell there's like i found videos of just the cue

i don't know i didn't find a great comprehensive video that might be there and i just didn't see it of you going through like a very nolan wayne tech building and like the premises you're you're all tech experts well you're you're yeah that's really strange you're i think going to take a meeting at wayne tech you're and you get in an elevator it's going to take you up to the 53rd floor to have a meeting up there uh you're having a general with bruce wayne i guess uh and but then uh there's a little glitch in the feed and then batman appears on a screen that you couldn't see before and tells you that he's been watching you and he knows that you're all tech experts so actually he needs you somewhere different and then change of course you end up in

the bat cave yes and there's a the video i was watching it's like dead tired dad couple kids and batman goes i can tell you're all tech experts and then they're not no emotion on anyone's face like like oh wow this is so cool or whatever. It's like, uh-huh. Like no one's even paying attention to what Batman is telling them. Very funny. Yeah, it doesn't,

I feel like a lot of those videos, you're seeing these things play to empty rooms. I can't tell if these, what we keep hearing is that Warner Brothers World, Abu Dhabi is pretty cool. It is kind of next level and a pretty good use of all these ip like warner brother or like looney tunes rather where you complain that

there's not great rides about them or of these properties in the six flags parks um i don't know like all the videos look cool but then we're never gonna go like is anyone going um i there's a lot holding you back i feel like yeah these things i can't tell i mean yeah there's you were saying the indoor like the it's an indoor park and there's a gotham city area there's like a metropolis area and that's pretty impressive as far as like from the scale you can see in a youtube video it's like yeah that feels right it's dark all the time it's like uh you see the wayne tech building and it looks impressive for an indoor thing but then you get inside the queue and you're like this should be the this should be packed this should be your 90 minute wait

and there's like no one in line ever on any of the videos and you're like how's this doing this was pre all the stuff this was right pandemic so who knows i don't know but they're like they're getting closer and that's part of what i said at the beginning about uh all right there are good batman rider where we used to be i think a cool one as i said in germany australia there seems to be some good stuff happening in abu dhabi but america we're just really suffering from these uh these and i mean suffer we're really suffering by not having batman rides but we're like we are the victims essentially of these this six flags licensing deal um that doesn't get us the universal level caliber of of batman attractions

right and i mean there's been you know warner brothers had that fully owned six flags at a certain point i forget if it was fully owned Six Flags at a certain point. I forget if it was fully or just majority owned. Or a lot of it. Yeah. I think I forgot that the Time Warner bought at least a controlling share around 92. But then they don't own it now. We've talked about this at length, I'm sure.

But like, it's just always been stuck. It was almost, of course, we haven't even talked about how it was almost uh an islands of adventure and there was going to be a batman penguin coaster competing there yeah well we know we got we got time to sure no we can't i'm just saying like it's like it's been it's been it's with all this stuff and we've said it before like it's right place right time for certain properties to make a certain level of ride. So it's like it's been in the wrong spot. They couldn't get out of negotiations for Islands of Adventure. So that fell apart. It's never been...

Right now, I think we're at the closest to it maybe being possible. Because Fixed Facts is trying. Justice League was trying to do more of this. They still didn't quite get there yeah and well we maybe yeah justice league i guess it is its own thing i mean i gotta go on that ride i oh yeah i'll go to i'll go to measure around and only go on that and then leave probably sure well you want to go you'll go to the lounge and stuff like you'll go to all those places oh yeah we'll go We'll go to Johnny Rockets. Hit up Chop 6.

And then we'll trick you to go on Twisted Colossus. Oh. Maybe I'd do Batman the Ride. Maybe. I don't know. I think you could handle Riddler's Revenge easy, too. Riddler's Revenge is not a big problem. It's fun.

Is that the stand-up one? Yeah. Yeah. But it's not. I'm not good on that one. Too little. Jason's fun. Is that the stand-up one? Yeah. Yeah. But it's not. I'm not good on that one. I'm too little. Jason's not. The bicycle seat destroys my...

That one is the one that destroys my genitals. Twisted Colossus destroyed your genitals. Well, they both weren't the easiest on my genitals. Sure. But Twisted Colossus was more aggressive to my genitals at that point. But neither of you are going to be chris o'donnell level the more you go on these things yeah no it's it's not going to happen but jason you're comfortable on tatsu yes where you're flying like oh i love tatsu yeah that's wild that feels so scary to go on where my legs and arms are just like floating it's wild

I think it was just the novelty of it kind of carried it the uniqueness of it I was just delighted by well we'll see look we went on hang time together that's true I mean I watched you I'm checked out of the whole thing that's coaster hang time which by the way is only

the only scary part is just the start of it the rest is a perfectly fun coaster seems like a problem on past a certain point yeah but the first part is uh pants shittingly scary sounds like it yep um well so yeah so the whole i feel like it really unlocks uh the mystery it solves the riddle if you will uh when you as you're going like why are there not better batman attractions especially in america oh my god because they were trying to do it at what became islands of adventure universal was trying to do this in the late 80s early 90s they negotiated uh they negotiated. They could not make a breakthrough on it. Universal and Warner were fighting bitterly and didn't come up with a breakthrough.

And thus, we don't have these. And they went off to Six Flags. Yeah. But so, like, finding out that there was... It really... I think the premise of the park changed. Maybe it was never going to be Islands of Adventure with a Gotham City. But in a way, I don't like, I guess the whole thing is that there was, the initial premise of the park was cartoon world.

That it was all going to be animated properties. Seuss was part of it always. Seuss and Popeyes. And, oh man, we got gotta do a whole cartoon world thing the the unbuilt popeye stuff is insane like a whole sweet haven village what in addition to the malta one oh well an indoor boat ride build wrap barges was always happening. Of course, the original Dudley Do-Right plans, that was always, still is a dual shoot, a dual log flume. But I think we talked about the buzzsaw.

It was going to cut your log in half. Cut the logs in half. So cool, yeah. The Looney Tunes stuff looked awesome, too. That was the big, the thing that had to change is they couldn't do Looney Tunes and they couldn't do DC superheroes, which it was going to be like half Superman, half Batman, which is fitting because I forget

who says this, but there's a thinking that Metropolis, Superman City, it represents New York City during the day and Gotham is supposed to be New York City at night. And so splitting that park with these two iconic characters, it's like a given. And so much of the ideas seem to be good. Like the Superman ride, so much of the Superman ride ended up in the Spider-Man ride.

Right. And it seems like Batman still wouldn't have had the ride we're looking for completely no i don't know i think some of these could have if if they really did i think could have been cool as hell would have been certainly better than the majority of stuff it's just like i think the superman ride would have been more the spider-man ride would like that would have been the full experience yeah like batman they were saying they were going to do a penguin i have it written down they were going to do a batman penguin coaster um where is it different like you would yeah you would load in either the bat cave or in the penguins layer depending on what right

so that stuff all seems like it would be awesome and then it was just sort of a roller coaster i'm sure it would have other elements as well well no i think this was a i like from the various videos and descriptions it was like three show buildings you keep going in and out of sets you see different stuff on the two tracks um and i believe spielberg's suggestion guns why not throw guns on there too wow so like in hypothetically this was a or or was this suggestion that you keep score somehow that you get a score at the end of it so it's supposed to be a shooting coaster which sound i mean i don't know like actually to me everything i saw from this and just from the look of what the these

little cool boxy bat wings and they were that they were going to go more penguin forward on it penguins i believe was the terminology which this is the one i'm this thing seems pretty fucking cool to me well the video i watched that made it didn't make it seem as cool but it still looked better than most of the stuff as far as theming and cues and stuff but yeah you're just i mean yeah it would have just depended i guess how how um how fast it went just like how much show how many show elements you could put in it that you could actually see while you were actually competing against another car in a fast situation. Right, right. But still, it went great.

There was also talk of a Batman and Robin stunt show in the lagoon. Yeah. There was going to be some sort of body of water. That was always the case. So there'd be a stunt show in the water and then joker's madhouse which was an indoor coaster on a wild cat uh uh wild mouse wild mouse excuse me yeah um on a wild mouse track with a false ending with a like ride broken kind of ending which eventually worked its way into the mummy ride right yeah

right right yeah there was so they were supposed to be a track out at some point but and then which deceives the path to what what where it becomes i think a drop is what they were trying to do they were like so this may be similar to hagrid's it was just gonna go straight down at a point instead of, you know, veering off track. Right. This, this sounds really cool. There's also like, and there's, I think theme park university is one of the sites that, that has found all this stuff and a number of good videos on,

on YouTube, if you're curious, but like, there's a lot of concept art floating around for this stuff and what things would have been. They even fleshed out what the, the shops and restaurants would have been we're gonna have joker's diner where you got your food served to you in a jack-in-the-box box um penguin pizza i have no further information

about it but the name is great i'd love to try some penguin not a fish sandwich or on a fish place but maybe you're getting anchovies there i don't know yeah maybe until again until per usual they realize the theme park audiences at least in the 90s don't want anything just cheese and pepperoni that's it yep that's what we saw at penguin's pizza those are penguins favorite flavors um but there's also uh let me just pull this up so we're all looking at the same screen um i don't know where all this text comes from these these plans um but one thing to point out the bat cave a which is described as a videopolis oh yeah nightclub wow oh my god yeah yeah which would have had i think a fake out entry like you're going into wayne

manor similar to the ride that ended up there you're going to wayne manor but then you end up in the bat cave instead um i think they were going to be like for sure there was going to be a big visible bat signal as part of all this perennially in the sky um but yeah fog and themed rock tables this is a fake rock environment nightclub um i i mean this this seems amazing this is yeah this is this is where i wish a whole scene uh had sort of developed they had made this and like as if it was pleasure island a whole like you know generation defining scene had happened at the bat cave at Universal Islands of Adventure. We talked about it in our Pleasure Island episode a while ago. The Facebook, there's a Facebook group of people that partied at Pleasure Island a lot for years,

and they still are very active on this Facebook page. This looms large. I wish the Bat Cave was the same deal where people would be like man remember the back cave those were the days you'd put on your black leather with the nipples and you'd go party at the back cave you take your special lady to cat woman's lair get her a cigarette case and a faux fur this was that was the other thing i was pulling up for. Yeah, that there was like a high-end Catwoman store where you bought like late 80s chic women's stuff. Yeah, high fashion hats, exotic lighters, fans, day planners.

I love this sort of like woman on the go, like wall street era. This, this sounds insane. I would love if this was there in a velvet walls and you could buy fake furs and stoles and capes. You buy like a big eighties lady cape, you know,

theme park really wish this was there. Yeah. Your mom wants to go to islands of adventure. Cause she needs to get a new mink fake mink stole like what i guess maybe i mean if the market we didn't know if no one's doing it right now so we don't know if it would have been failure no one's tried this in a theme park mom needs a new very wide hat and a fine and a faux fur cigarette case and a day plan i feel like i heard a story once where it's like well you know whatever the big thing everyone has to have is often stolen now with smartphones before that cell phones and beepers but i feel like i heard someone talk about like

oh yeah stores used to get day planners stolen all the time or like a little black books because everyone needed to have something like sure you know um yeah i wonder when that's whenever the yeah the phones smartphones started then day planners thefts went dramatically down but you open a villain themed day planner store and you're asking for that yeah because everyone feels so much more villainous when they're shopping in these stores my inner cat woman is coming out i'm surprised then they didn't because this seems like a little bit more adult as far as what they ended up putting there with marvel superhero island

i'm wondering why they didn't then just take these ideas and put them just use a marvel like why didn't they use like mojo or arcade these x-men villains why didn't they have a club with their like their uh characters on the front or or the hellfire club well which is uh scott just to quickly educate you on what the Hellfire Club was, it was a club where mutants would dress up as, what would you say, colonial era people? Well, it was like a rich and famous private high-end club. There's still some of these fancy clubs. But then the inner circle of the club, the bad guys, would dress in regal Victorian wear.

Powder wigs yeah uh it's where emma frost comes from and so the character kevin bacon plays in x-men first class uh it's also lost sorry i've seen that i didn't know he was in it it's based on some downtown sex clubs that uh professionals would go to in the 70s yeah based on a real fetish sex club uh and then jason and i as like 10 year olds were like oh the hellfire club okay cool like they're the fancy villains i got it yeah they like history right uh so why wasn't there a real hellfire club is what i'm saying in Marvel Superhero Islands I think that one's fine I think maybe you gotta skip the hellfire

club from the sound of it I don't know I mean it didn't have to be as intense as it might have been in real life I'm just saying there were ways to do it I mean who would in the Marvel Universe have a fancy hat I mean there's the rip off Catwoman Black Cat the character in Spider-Man

called Black Cat, who's a thief as well. We'll be getting movies of all these soon. Oh, I think Black Cat is on the way, right? Yeah, I think that's coming, yeah. Mary Jane is a model sometimes. Sometimes she is a big hat. Oh, yeah, Mary Jane's boutique?

That would be great. I just don't know why they went with, like, yeah, throw a comic store in Fantastic Four cafeteria. Like, they got lazy is what I'm saying. Yeah. Put in a big sign that says POW, where it's a comic world. They're done. They were going for a high-end thing with this Batman land, and then they obviously switched what they wanted to do with it.

Well, 90s Gotham was so fancy. Like they, they remade the, they redesigned the Sony lot around this time to be, this needs to feel like Gotham city and Batman. Like this was Sid, like, it's like the hearkening back to the forties in the fanciest way. Everything should feel like what, you know, where the Wayne's walk out of,

and you should be able to buy pearls that break away that really collapse easily your parents yeah a simulation of your parents getting blown away in crime alley everyone had that opportunity to like all right you like we're pulling your mom and dad from the crowd and here's what it'd be like if the joker killed them coming soon to disney's avengers campus uh pay an upcharge and get trapped in an iceberg like captain america for decades so everyone you know and love is very old when you come out i really yeah they should really do this with the tragic superhero origins we should be able

to experience those in the theme parks we want a next level experience so it has to be uncle ben dying and spider-man you want that and you didn't you watched as the guy ran by he didn't do anything and you could have we want that experience experience wanda's trauma on a new e-ticket attraction that's right we need these experience we need next level theme park and we're not just saying that because we're complaining about our parents earlier we don't actually want the joker to kill them we just want a fun thing we watch some pearls fall we want pearls to fall right it's simulated you know it's these is this simulated experiences uh can I quickly play this thing from Dubai World? Speaking of get your parents involved.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, please. Oh, yes. So there's not just rides in the Dubai Warner Brothers thing. There's a little show. So a lot of people have played the Joker. And I love this. I don't know this gentleman's name.

He seems to be their Joker. He plays this Joker as if he's Jerry Lewis in Hour 6 of a telethon. And I love it. I think it's great. I think it's a great take on the character. Because why would you want to rip off? Anyway, here, I'll play this. I think it's in the right spot.

Like this one, if we have any. That's Harley Quinn. Charlie Quinn. Are they with you? Yeah. I was going to use this, but I've already scared his hair away. I like them, so you're going to stay up here. Well done, my dear.

Let's take the guest. Let's prepare him for the grand finale. But kids, this is an ugly shirt. It's hurting my face. After the show, you buy him joker shirt so i can pay rent on that fun house go go go ugly shirt go go go let me take this opportunity to thank you all for coming the real question now is how many of you will leave i mean i just like i want to say thank you so much, everybody, for coming.

Thank you to Dean and Sammy for showing up tonight. The work we do here, the work we do in the madhouse, it drives people crazy all over the world, and it's important work, and that's why we do it. I mean, isn't that, that's a fantastic, I love that take. He's so tired, he doesn't want to be there. You seem like a nice fella, but the shirt is ugly. That's all I'm going to say.

Get yourself a new one. Don't make me squirt my flour onto it. Sid Charisse, we know you broke your famous leg, and we wish you the best. We know you were in the hospital. We saw you couldn't be here tonight. I'll brazen with you, Sid. I want to thank Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

The jokes didn't land. We know female supervillains are not funny and they're not good at what they do, but thank you regardless. Thank you for trying regardless. Yeah, I think this guy deserves an Oscar for Joker as well. I'd like him to get an Oscar for Team Park. Yeah, to everybody.

I like this guy. Yeah mr dubai the um yeah so really quick the what ended up why isn't any of this in universal why isn't there a big committed batman land because they were negotiating as jason said not just for the dc characters but for the looney tunes that's a lot those are the the crown jewels in the warner empire um and it came down to royalties mca wanted to pay them six percent uh for royalties for their characters warner brothers wanted 10 they eventually came down to eight they got stuck at eight that all and this all led up to sid scheinberg from universal saying to terry semel from warner brothers we don't need your fucking characters and that was the end of that um yeah uh genuine quote apparently and uh yeah and then thus those

walls are up forever because you i mean maybe not forever but you would have to think like it seems weird especially with marvel now like you're never going to see Disney pair with DC. That's not going to happen. Universal is the other catch-all that grabs entities from other megacorporations. So shouldn't they end up with, and especially now that they can't do any new Marvel, I don't know. Will they ever make amends? Are we ever going to see anything really next level with Batman in the States? Well, the timing made sense at the time.

Disney, MGM Studios, Universal, Warner Brothers teaming up to take them on. But it would have been competing with Six Flags. Yeah, it's crazy because Warner brothers has flirted with doing stuff they they know now as far as harry potter like they should have had their own theme park that they could have plugged a crazy harry potter land into and then they would have gotten all the money for it yeah but it's still like everything's a mess you know as far as like all the merger stuff happening and their tv and movies everyone's mad hbo max movie like it seems like it's just a disaster like it seems like it's gonna be years before they really figure out what's going on and either either like buy more interest in six flags and pump that stuff

up or decide to just do their own thing which would maybe be a better thing maybe be a better idea um but i don't know it seems hopeless it truly seems like we we need a hero right now and we don't have one and our and the as we said at the beginning our heroes are billionaires and billionaires run these companies so we need a hero billionaire looking out for the kids on the ground here who really want a really good Batman ride. And the right merger needs to happen to make it possible. Yeah, we want more companies to merge. Yes, we love mergers. It's okay.

It might not be the hero we deserve, but, you know, maybe it's the one we need, you know? Right. Okay, yes. Let's come by. Disney should buy Warner Brothers and all the okay yes let's come by war Disney should buy Warner Brothers and sick all the six flags yeah yeah Disney six flags oh my gosh buy all of it there should be two companies Universal and Disney the two theme park companies and then that'll be it. Superman can be in WandaVision. Yeah, yeah.

And then the other one, I mean, I guess the HBO side is, well, no, Universal is one. I think Joe Rogan's just going to be the other company and hopefully he starts theme parks. Right. Joe Rogan's Spotify. Yes, when he bends up in the name, when it becomes

Joe Rogan's Spotify. Right. So yeah, it feels like the future is bleak. Maybe we'll get another slightly better Justice League thing. But maybe not probably in the future especially because

you know I'm sure Six Flags needs some money right now yeah so well this is a can of worms and we're winding down but I feel like we have to give a little we have to attempt to talk about like okay so what if this all does get solved Joe Rogan purchases the

Batman and makes a good ride out of it um what what do we want what's the batman ride what is the great batman ride well this is the toughest question because there's so many eras so many i i you know there's like five or six things about things like batman stories that i love equally yeah jason what are you gonna say well i was gonna say the only thing i'd be concerned about is I feel like his type isn't really fond of regulations. So he may end up making a Batman ride that leads to the creation of Batman-esque supervillains

because something actually goes horribly wrong at a chemical plant or something. So Joe Rogan has Ben shapiro on an episode of his podcast and then ben shapiro gets like into a chemical plant and there's an accident he turns into like a super villain well even if he takes him on this new batman ride but he gives him dmt and then he gets you know falls into the vat of hydraulic fluid and you know all these fucking people do seem like super villains waiting to happen like like there are one mutation away wait sorry what are you saying mike oh i was just saying alex jones is on the podcast podcast a lot like they're all these different guys that are yeah what you're saying is one like chemical accident away from

being a batman villain and we're aware of all of them like we're seeing where we know who all of them are there are all these weird celebrities and they are they're all merging like the the villains in like wait wait a minute now there's a pair up between gina carano and ben shapiro like she's joined up in a cat woman way wait them now um yeah and just it all it takes is one spill and then yeah and then they all can like jump really high well that's damn it no they all just got yeah they all just like are like have the power of a grasshopper for some they all got frogman powers they're all gonna fight over who gets the frogman outfit shapiro's already like what's his fuck the

um who's the scarecrow it's the cillian murphy um killian oh dr jonathan dr jonathan crane yeah yeah he's he's kind of like him already uh he's like kind of the you know he's a little more like the uh on the show gotham they're edward enigma i feel like oh yeah yeah uh-huh snivelly a little more like that uh the okay uh uh to not give these guys too much of our time the because i was trying to think like okay there are there's obviously so you would of course you would want like a full land that all right here's batman forever world here's 66 world but in lieu of that and maybe why be in lieu of that let's do that but i was trying to think like what genuinely is okay like because i think the closest ride i think my favorite of the ones we've talked about is that star tour z

analog batman returns era attraction but you're still missing some stuff you're like where are we we're in like a we're in a moving box theater where we are not is the batmobile and you talk about intimacy you talk about places you want to be you want to be in the cockpit of the of the batmobile and maybe it doesn't make sense to be with batman although being with an animatronic in sort of a rise of the resistance way seems pretty cool but i was like earnestly i was thinking about how we've certainly complained about Millennium Falcon Smuggler's Run. And I think the complaints are more about like what happens and like is the video game aspect of it really? Is there enough payoff for it?

I think that that type of ride system where there's a bunch of little pods that you get in. I mean, now with COVID, that's tougher, but forget that. The idea that like there's a turntable and you can actually be in a little space instead of like Doc built a big DeLorean for you. Like you want to be in the actual thing. So if there was a Millennium Falcon, like a similar setup to that, that let a lot of people be in kind of a private batmobile and then you take a real like a gritty trip in the batmobile and maybe batman's piloting remotely sort of like a dock sure the future i think that happens in one of the movies you could see villains you could not see villains maybe it's more about going to places than encountering characters i think a really a very good batmobile ride is really the key thing,

and that might be able to transcend what era it's in, because the Batmobile never changes that much, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. I think you could play with, like, yeah, the Batmobile. If you are getting in the Batmobile and you're going to Batman, a lot of these rides don't really utilize the like not seeing batman like batman being like stalking in the night so what if like he didn't show up until like halfway through

the ride like at a big moment someone's about to get you and then he shows up and helps yeah the other thing that these rides never do uh sorry mike but is no doing the other perspective where you are a bad guy being pursued by batman and it becomes like a haunted house right like it becomes a horror ride sure yeah i mean that's i assume that's always like a problem they're like we can't make the guests be bad be bad people yeah the villains are so exciting in batman where like you want to team up with them certainly it's yeah it's all about the villains for me so i think i think if we're if i'm if i'm thinking of what the ultimate just single batman ride is i obviously want separate rides for all the villains for all the side characters for Nightwing for Damian Robin Batman's

10 year old killer assassin son I want separate stuff for all of it but if I'm thinking of the thing that's gonna scratch most of the itches I think it's an Arkham Asylum ride of some kind where the bad guy it's like sort of the premise of the first

PlayStation game it's like the bad guys have taken control of arkham maybe you're on sort of an omnimover like rise of the resistance type vehicle that like oh you're going through you know this is uh you'll say you're uh you're all scientists or you're all psychologists you're taking a tour and then the villains have taken over and i don't i i would say you know you do a ride vehicle like rise of the resistance but it's somehow figure out a way to get that force feedback that indiana jones movement just to make it feel a little more chaotic and then i don't even think it needs anything super

thrilling other than just you go into a room there's a really great poison ivy animatronic there's leaves there's you know plants coming through the room somehow with robot stuff could be accentuated with screens and you get like a 30 second 45 second show scene with all your favorite villains batman with jason's idea batman comes in maybe halfway through nightwing comes in whoever and it's like and then there's a big finale and i don't know it could be a drop like at the end of risers it could be anything i don't think that stuff is as important though as just really feeling like you've you've been in the most immersive batman experience as possible and i feel like you need you need those rooms with like practical

things in them it could be accentuated by screens and part of it could be screens but i think that would be awesome and especially if it was tight tight rooms because i think that's even cooler like aspects of rise of the resistance where you feel like you're in a really small space feels really cool that's really really great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Arkham's a great idea. And Arkham isn't like, so there's not like the cinematic depiction of it that you're tied to that you couldn't reinvent to,

to some extent. Right. And you can have a scene where like somebody blows up the floor and you fall into the next show scene below you. And then you zoom somewhere else. Like there's a lot of different ways you could have exciting stuff that doesn't necessarily need you to actually have a thrill element or go on a roller coaster but yeah you can make you can make the layout whatever you want it doesn't there's the video

game but that's probably the most definitive version of arkham honestly that there is yeah man's i think like an animatronic that's mainly in the suit so you you could sort of get away with the indiana jones effect if it's not harrison like if you're if he's mostly in the suit so you you could sort of get away with the indiana jones effect if it's not harrison like if you're if he's mostly in shadow and he just kind of is reminiscent of all of them in a way um i think that works and yeah and you could go like there's there's more iconic art styles i mean you could go full those arkham games the style of batman and the villains i think loom pretty large. Now you could go with that type of style.

You could also just pick an artist, you know, Jim Lee or, uh, any other current I'm trying to think who else has been drawing a Batman. Greg Capolo has been drawing Batman. You can go with any of these like styles and see what works for robots. And as long as I think, as long as it feels like it has a take i think it's okay versus having like a particularly iconic take now would i also like getting the likeness rights to all the villains from the movies and putting them in this right of course i would get arnold get uma get them all and make the animatronics look like them. That'd be awesome. Oh, get Hathaway, get Eckhart. Sure. Get Billy Dee.

Get Billy Dee. We get two Two-Faces, you know? Just right. Billy Dee was supposed to be Harvey. He was Harvey Dent in the original movie. Supposed to be Two-Face, but they... And Damon Wayans, right? Was supposed to be Robin.

I have the... They famously made the action figure and then painted it white and just put out a generic Robin action figure for Batman Returns but they were getting ready to like make the Damon Wayans like action figure weird

so bizarre I think the other stuff you I would like Wayne Manor something in Wayne Manor the Batcave the roof with the Bat Signal and Commissioner Gordon like oh yeah you're gonna go up there yeah yeah those I think you can I think people

have a general idea but I don't think there's you know um the big computer I think there's a lot of different versions of those things but I think people would of different versions of those things but i think people would recognize most versions of those things and uh i think maybe uh you know for people like us i think having a a walkthrough or an experience where we got to get a psychological evaluation from dr

chase meridian would really be a nice capper for the trip for your day at the park where you got to explain chase what's going on with your life and your childhood. And this isn't like a, a high capacity attraction. Like you'd be, this would be, you wouldn't like want to be sending so many people through. You would want this to be intimate.

You want to make sure that you're locked in and you have a good long moment with Dr. Chase Meridian. Well, it would be like, um, it would be like meeting mickey in disney world where there's multiple chase rooms and you don't get to see that those exist

like you're saying with the millennium falcon you know you would just like go down and you would never know that there were multiple chases so you could get a couple she's all yours well yes i think you would need to rotate every other hour would have to be meet and greet with sugar and spice played by Drew Barrymore and Debbie Bazar. Well, that's Jason. That's a different. I think that's a different area of this hypothetical part. Okay. Well, they're all in there.

Yeah. You have your opportunity to meet all the Batman forever babes. the batman forever base yeah and then a different area where you just go up to the tube where nora is being frozen and you get to say nora as you're holding your hand against the tube that's a different thing that's a different part insert a diamond that saves her that like turns into a cure like all right you put it in and then like a bunch of tubes go by and then trip trip trip she's cured uh yeah so that's all these are all great ideas yeah the cure nora experience um people are dying for it let's uh merge as many companies as we need to in order to make this happen um uh sounds good to me i guess we all survived podcast the ride batman the rides edition um boy hey that was pretty tidy that

could have been a lot a lot crazier but we still got to explore everything and we got to you know hey we got some stuff off our chest about our parents that i think dr chase meridian would be quite that won't be they did not get into the water stunt shows and we'll have to get to those at another well obviously everyone's going to tell us we missed a big part of Batman theme park and you will tell us online. Do not tell us in the gripes. We don't care about those anymore. Tell us on Twitter,

turn that show yours, show yourself. Gripes is condemned like, like Arkham. We're locking it up. Um, yeah. So you know what? let us know if we you if we missed

something uh that you really like in batman theme park lore uh please tell us on social media using your names uh on twitter facebook or instagram you can email us at podcast the ride at gmail dot com uh and hey for three bonus episodes every month you can subscribe to podcast the second gate at patreon.com slash podcast the ride um and um yeah which one are you we're all gonna watch one tonight now what's it gonna be is it an episode of the show is it just are we going to hang out with sugar and spice again i have been really wanting to do but i have uh i feel like i've been really wanting to watch the 66 batman movie again i haven't watched in a year or two so that might be the next batman thing i watch i could watch a batman movie every day i think and that gets sick

of it i think i said this earlier in the pandemic that i was watching batman forever a lot it's and the longer it goes. All right. We're back around to that one. It's Batman Forever time again. Yeah. Um, I think I'll watch the weird, you know, the weird like wrestling promo or something.

I forget what it is where Adam West like post the series. I might be, am I crazy that it culminates in him? Some wrestler or somebody says something weird to him. And then he says, Oh, it's Jerry Lawler. Wow.

Wow. Um, there's some reason why Adam West in costume is to say, wrestler or somebody says something weird to him and then he says oh it's jerry lawler wow wow um there's some reason why adam weston costume is to say i've heard of your box i don't know why or what it is i don't know what leads to that but i think that's what i'm gonna watch yeah jason have you seen that clip no i haven't you sent it to me all right well do you want to just play it right now yeah sure let's go out on that let's find that box part I think it's this I'll have to edit it if it goes this looks like three minutes

yeah yeah find the best part but we'll just watch it all together thanks for listening take it away Adam and Jerry you know I've heard he's had his troubles with the Joker and the Penguin and Mr. Freeze but he hasn't handled the King yet and I got somebody in a box that I'm going to bring out here.

Usually allies, not adversaries. Make the Joker look like Mickey Mouse, I can tell you that. I've heard about your box, but I want to say that that costume that you're wearing, if you are indeed the evil king of Memphis, has been stolen from a friend of mine, Soup.

Superman, I call, Soup. Superman. I call him Soup. And I think that Spider-Man, Spidey Baby, would probably object too. Excuse me? By the way, looking at you, I don't think it's too late for you. I think it's possibly,

if you change some of your habits, some of your methods of wrestling, if you used your left and right turn indicator in your car, did other things that people normally do when they're polite and courteous and you weren't such a naughty, mean person, it wouldn't be too late for you. I think maybe we better settle this elsewhere

and again, both of you are going to be at the... I've got to get settle this elsewhere. And again, both of you are going to be at the... I've got to get Dr. Frank in here anyway. Both of you are going to be down at the Cook Convention Center at the car show all this weekend. And maybe you can settle it there. Batman, appreciate you coming by. Thank you very much. He's not a nice man, is he?

No, he is not. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original

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