Podcast: The Ride - Bibleman

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

It's the long awaited Bibleman episode! We take a look at this evangelical superhero who mostly stops everything he's doing to pray. Featuring very slow sword fights, questionable villains, and a copyright-skirting live show! Dinsaurs Live! Episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/gka2u8eUm_M FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! WARNING! The following podcast may include arbitrary lightsabers, youth groups under siege, lasers that spread the gospel, and the most obscure streaming platforms known to man.

Plug in your headphones of righteousness as we talk religious superhero, Bible Man, on Podcast The Ride, a show about theme parks hosted by three good boys who just want you to learn about a good book. I'm Scott Gairdner, one of them, Mike Carlson, equally good. Michael Solemn Carlson, hello. Yes, we were just, usually we want you to read the Sumner Redstone book, but today it's

a different book that we want you to read. There's plenty admirable about him, but I think, but you know, but all lessons in how to live and operate your empire. Yes. And yeah, Jason Charity. I ran out of that sentence that's okay hard wall you were thinking about sumner i was getting choked up about uh that we've lost him he you know he is a christ-like figure and you have a lot of reverence for him and it makes sense well he's a guy he's he in many times in his life said he would never die

which feels did he say oh kind of akin to i gotta read this gd book i'm not gonna say it because it's the new episode that's a maybe the wrong episode to say it so i'm glad yes good no he um they opened a building on the paramount lot named after him they opened the redstone building and he said i don't know how I feel about this because buildings are tributes to people who die, and I will never die. Look, I admire that. Arrested development narrator. Soon after, he died. Oh, man, I got to read this book.

It's a good one. I'll lend it to you. But there's a more important book. It's the Bible. There's a more important book. Back here in our timeline, it's Palm Sunday as we record. So this is the sort of day where a Protestant pastor would say, let us rejoice. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad therein.

Okay. Especially with this topic, we have lots to be glad about. Oh, so much, obviously. I mean, we can be extra glad that there was never an opponent of Bible man who weaponized or electrified Palm Sunday palms to use against churchgoers. That would have been a terrifying ordeal for everyone. No, no. The villains, when I were growing up, was usually more like school board members embezzling. Teacher who needs to stop in the middle of class because someone needs to escort them out as an affair with a student was discovered. Well, yeah, that happened at our school.

That happened at a lot of schools. Yeah. Well, hold on to those thoughts. Maybe some similar notions coming up at some point as we deconstruct the figures involved in Bible man. That's what we're talking about today. The series of religious videos, or if you want to call it a show, I think it was a purpose to be a show that aired in various forms on

television, but, but the main headline, a religious superhero. Um, and, and if you aren't tracking it, just to remind you,

uh, typically we think we've done this three times now. There's been a good Friday tradition heading into Easter weekend of covering religious theme parks. There's an odd pile of those all mildly unpleasant and dispiriting. But we've plowed through and we've talked about them. We've reaped the garden of religious theme parks. Yes. And tried to sow rewards for you, the listener. But we're really running low on that, I would say.

Well, yes. I was going to say, that's true. We're running low on that. But I will say this. If you're looking at this topic and you're thinking, oh, this doesn't have anything to do with what the boys have covered before. Untrue. Because they did Bible Man man live there was a live and touring spectator this is absolutely this is this the live show was a source of of more

a traffic and attendance i'd say than a number of live presentations we've talked about before yes absolutely and we've done you know we've covered uh power rangers and ninja turtles and mortal like this very much resembles your 90s songs and stage show with this type of like a little boy ip i shouldn't gender it but you know what i'm saying like action adventure i well let's be they would gender it that's true you're right this is this entity a religion a very christian entity would be the first yes proudly gendered they wouldn't remove females from the audience but they might remove them from the first few rows very good point yeah yes uh but i think a big remaining park is um what's the one that they're like well the righteous gemstones had a lot of theme park content uh in the most recencies and

for their park but the real was it jim and tammy faye or was it another we did that huh we did that that's what we did last year uh-huh ah but i swear we did we did no i feel like there was another one i gotta look this up now i feel like there was another even shittier one that i'm forgetting now there's one in connecticut seemingly and you start looking into it and one of the main headlines in the wiki was when like somebody was murdered there and you're like all right skip let's turn the car around yeah we don't need to learn about that that's actually uh that's a recurring theme with some malls that go downhill really fast it's like body found in the parking lot or stabbing in the parking lot oh there was a

there was a shooting in one of my favorite childhood malls last night yes yeah i saw fallbrook mall yeah in the valley uh it was referred to as a narcotics based incident of some kind uh so yeah i don't pay they're becoming the the you know the ones that aren't so lucky or odd places and these things happen uh i believe this religious theme park in question was abandoned i don't remember the rest so that'll happen to an abandoned theme park as scooby-doo has taught us uh there's there's bound to be bad news going on there. So we'll get there. But this one has a live show and it's got characters. It's more fun than the abandoned place where somebody was killed.

Yes. Yeah. We're going to have a fun time here. And this is paying off, I think, a lot of years of mentioning Bible Man here and there. I don't remember why, but I know it's come up. And I feel like Mike was the first to bring it up. And I was delighted because I was vaguely aware of Bible man, maybe just to do a little bit of archeology here.

Do you remember why it came up before or your previous experience or awareness of Bible? I have no memory of why it came up before. I know we were talking about F fibbler and flabber yes i think fibbler fat uh flabber um classifying what each clarifying what each one was yes fibbler is the villain from uh bible man and the other is which i keep did i say him right flabber flabber yeah from the big bad beetleborgs which we've we've teased an episode about that eventually too who looked like who looked like jaylen who looked a lot like jaylen um i think my first bible man i think i was at i want to say like western university in illinois my visiting some friends

and it was like a saturday afternoon in the middle of nowhere and we were just cruising around and was what 2005 or something 2004 and we were like what is this and we got so excited because it was a religious superhero show we found the tape somewhere it was on tv it was on just on tv i don't know what that were who knows what network it was i think it aired on tbn on trinity for sure aired places but yeah i don't know what network it was this has happened a lot i feel like where i would go to a college town where my with like one of my friends or something and this is where i found out that the nascar was started by like bootleggers and learned about the character the real life man popcorn sutton who was a big influential popcorn yeah so like i feel like you would go there and on saturday afternoon you would get networks that you didn't get near the big city so you would learn you would learn

about things and we were the right age at that point to be very intrigued by bible man so we enjoyed absolutely you you see one image and you fall in love with it yeah like i'm sorry there's what now yeah what exists and it's like a bad i'm sure my memory is we saw like the bad one of the bad like fake lights or like lightsaber fights which is essentially they have yes yeah so uh that was my i believe that was the first time i ever heard about it yeah i you you and your friends found that and i me and my friends found a very similar like on the same level which is the home shopping the sub home shopping network it's not even of of knife show you're talking about are we talking about don west no not don west passed away there's just a a reoccurring show on like the early cable numbers where it's like and you get

you get like 50 knives okay you spend 50 and you get fit that's dollar knife and you get all these knives yes knife i've seen that it's similar to don west's sports memorabilia show he used to do on i forget it was not home shopping it was like four down the list of it no he first did sports collectibles they made fun of it on saturday night live with that mark hamill sketch where they were like selling mark hamill essentially but then he then don west switched to beanie babies so yeah don west this is glory bear and we're selling it for 30 are you sure are you sure princess bear and glory you're getting both of them and he was just shouting like he's doing a wrestling promo which he went on to do wrestling um announcing yeah yeah uh and we love this we were obsessed with it and they're all on youtube and they're so great um and rest in peace don

west like as of a couple like a month or two ago he yelled himself to death no i don't think so i think the yelling was good for him i think the yelling was power was power it wasn't he didn't know he was gonna die and he was auctioning off his own kidneys and other body parts i don't believe so everything must go but he was a say we saw him live i'm not gonna need a skeleton anymore my soul's gonna be out of this thing he would do like you would go up to him at a con and you could be like hey don could you like like do your pitch for this and it would be like the wolf of wall street thing where like she told me this pencil and don could just do it great don would just yell and convince you to buy it you ever have the chance no but we saw it happen i saw it happen live in schaumburg at a convention like 2018 um it was a mile away

from where you were you heard it faint heard it faintly through a restaurant window. So yeah, all this like sleepy, like sometimes regional TV is just, is the best. Sure, sure. I want to say, I don't remember where I found it, but it seems possible. I found a lot of oddities at the 99 cent only store in high school.

It became a delightful place for particularly i just remember that they had i mean my favorite thing was that they would they just had like a absolute bulk like every for a while every 99 cent only store uh in los angeles had at least 50 if not more copies of hulk rules uh hulk hogan's hulk semi rap album oh no no that's what was a dvd sorry yeah okay no i believe it was unless it was hulkster no i think there was a dvd of hulk still rules that i was thinking of but it was they clearly whatever deal was this this was kind of an et landfill situation where we got to move these things like we promised hulk like larry let me you're gonna make a million of these

brother i need to see them all lined up to know that you did it or else i put you in the ground and then like he checked and they did and then like what do we do with these cd copies we have to move so i would go buy them like dozens at a time which you could do i i might have paired it down to one but there were times where i would like i all right, I'm going to go buy 20 Hulk Hogan albums for $20 for knife prices. So it's possible to me that Bible Man was at the 99 cent only store. It seems especially likely that, so I remember a tape, and then I remember that I found party invitations, which might still be in my drawer at home,

which I don't think I ever made good on actually having a bible man themed birthday party and using those as the invitations but i might still have them but mainly i mean i know for a fact it was the one you mentioned it was the six lies of the fibbler yeah um which gives you a lot of information on the cover um you see the fibbler who is this wild face paint caked on although what you see on the cover looks far better than what is in the oh yeah the episode itself um but kind of like you know nobody did a bad job on this costume. It is like complete. Look, you're assigned. You're given a small budget and you are assigned to make a superhero costume.

But it's still it is very hokey. It is just hokey. That's what it is. And then a very important detail starring Willie Ames of Eight is Enough and Charles in Charge. Of course. So which hit me not because, oh, I remember that guy, but because I've never heard of this guy. I know those shows.

Yeah. But he does not fall into any nostalgia lane that I care about. It is no draw for me that Willie Ames is Bible Man. He kind of came watching when he's like in his alter ego, when he's the regular guy who is really klutzy he's real like when when clark kent is a doofus sure he's doing that a lot he falls down a lot in uh the big big book the first one drops boxes yeah and so when he was dressed in a polo and khakis i was like okay i kind of remember him as Charles's friend. Okay.

Kind of. Was he a dorky friend or was he also cool? Not as cool as Charles? Yeah, he is not as cool as Charles. And I think they were both always looking to get rich quick or score chicks like any 80s guys. Sure. Sure. Well, this guy was sort of heartthrob ish yes i guess i mean he's always a

little bit like doofy looking but he did have that leif garrett hair and he he look his bod was in good shape according to photos from the movie paradise when from 1982 with Phoebe Cates. This was some sort of like post-Blue Lagoon, like sexy, abandoned on a desert island kind of. To my eyes, he is no match for Phoebe Cates, one of the most attractive people in the history of Earth and time. Well, why do we have to compare? So I don't line them up but some someone at a studio thought these these two were a match um so uh what else do we know about willie ames i guess

you know i guess so sort of heartthrob he had a he had a band coincidentally called paradise also oh wow i'd miss this uh yeah they performed on the merv griffin show they were they were trying to convince people that will Ames in Paradise was something. His real name, Willie Upton, and he changed it at the advice of an agent who said, if you make your name something with two A's in it, you'll always be at the top of any credits. That's some old school Hollywood agent advice. That's like Hank Kingsley's agent advice, like a 90-year-old man who's like,

here, I got the thing for you. It's the school of thought that leads like Tobias Funke to put glitter in his submissions to casting agents. Yeah, yeah, yes. This will wear, they'll remember you. The different looks, yeah. So, you know, something of a schemester with a name change Like that

That doesn't That doesn't line up With the future Righteous man We see later Neither does his At one time Three gram a day

Cocaine habit I think he It was pretty Extreme for this I think it was Wrong for him Yeah And I think the career

Kind of went down The tubes I think he experienced Some real trouble in his life. And then I don't know what exactly brings him back to, brings him to this Bible man role in the mid-90s, but it is presented to him. And his own words, he said,

I thought it was the worst idea I'd ever heard. So he was not on board. But presumably somewhere in his travels, there must have been a born again kind of situation where he was led to believe this could be more than just a show. It could be a ministry. Because that's something you might not know as you're looking at our episode, Art, or if you know that there is a religious superhero, that there was a whole operation here in the live tour.

Yeah. Certainly part of that. But he pairs up with Pamplin Media. That's the entity that produced this. There's a guy, Robert Pamplin Jr., who was at one point one of the 40 richest men in America or the world even, I don't know. I was trying to find out,

is there anything expressly evil about this guy? And I couldn't find it for a little bit until he like he basically owns a lot of like uh gravel kind of companies in portland which he made him so much money he started buying up like a lot of media in portland and again didn't find anything too evil until the last year where there was a big article about how he's uh maybe gonna ruin all his employees pension funds by tying his own real estate holdings into the pension funds which might sink the whole thing for people who've

worked for him for many decades yeah it's like it's like the sly evil it's like uh you know about the u-line psychos no what's wrong with u-line u-line that they they have those big phone books of like boxes and packing peanuts and all this stuff. They are crazy. They are crazy Christian, like talking about traditional values and Trump and all that psycho stuff. Okay. I was, you know, I really thought that somebody involved in Bible Man, I will do a search

next to the word Trump and I'm going to find something really damning. But not so much the case. Really, you're just fed straight into Willie Ames' co-star, Scott Baio. Right. That's true. One of the craziest Trumpers there is. Yeah.

But at least, I mean, we know that every single person on screen in any of the videos we're going to talk about is an ardent supporter of donald trump of course but they've done a good job of hiding any google history that would lead you to that fact yeah it's it's a lot more under the surface yeah i sometimes with ones like this i will just type in like the phrase in this case, like Bible man, scam, Bible man, money laundering, Bible man, prison. And,

and nothing really came up this time. Um, probably because it seems like on a certain level, these people like the Bible man shows themselves. There's a little boring, pretty, there's some real boring stretches of a lot of this some some stretches where it's like bible man is giving unsolicited notes to children pageant performers to children

skit performers yeah there's there's a pretty there's a boring stretch that you'll find that runs from 1995 to 2010 to the current and it returns later. It returns in an animated fashion that really makes you go like, this was made in 2016? Okay. I miss the glory, the charisma of Willie Ames, who I've kind of found myself slipping into a Willie Ames kind of voice in the last few days

as I've mainlined Bible man. It's, you know, you've got two, all right, so there's Bible man, but like any good superhero, there is, of course, the alter ego and who he came from. And the origin story that you get some iteration of in every episode is he's Miles B. Peterson, a wealthy man who turns to god and the bible in his most desperate hour um you hear in various intros they say how it for some reason it screamed at you there's a voice uh very don west like a cool young don west yeah yeah he had it all he had fame and riches and celebrity like i don't know like it's like uh that reminded me of uh

the start of uh the song blue there's a story of a guy i don't know i guess he's not yelling you up it's a hyped song what was the eiffel character we discovered again yeah that's right there were but there was original ip in blue yeah and i forget the name oh man this is embarrassing you can keep i'll look it up and you guys okay great um but uh uh from from then on so he discovers god in the bible really it's it's a very intense sequence where this guy is like wandering through a forest in the rain he's got a like he's got a hat like bruce wayne would have had in the theater you got to have these like he's dressed like the 40s even if it isn't the 40s uh but this tells you that he's wealthy that he's got a businessman's hat and then he's like we don't really know the torment

but he's just screaming to no one and nothing and then just falls into soil where thank god at that exact point in the forest this unmarked for he just kind of like starts digging through dirt and finds a bible a bible that i saw referred to in some places as a radioactive bible oh really i didn't see that yeah did you get a sense of that i only saw that i didn't pick up on that myself i guess they made if it was glowing and green it was either too subtle or i had stopped paying attention during that watch down i i have to give them credit you know i feel like mike and i've complained about like so much superhero tv or movies they have to they feel obligated to the origin story first bible man just kind of the first one gets into it and i feel like

rolls out the origin later you know and rolls out a supporting cast rolls out their equivalent of the batman family later on you know sure sure yeah you don't need 10 episodes to get to the point where miles peterson puts on the costume we're right in it let's get it going we've seen these tropes before yeah yeah you know what i do appreciate that i get bored by dense mythology and i think it's also important that they just cut to the chase because when you talk about an origin story is meant to show you how these and i want to see how heroes unusual powers were attained but now i pose to you both please describe bible man's powers oh well uh i have a clip and a list here uh if you want me to play this clip sure let me try to

pull it up i i don't know which episode this one this this is standalone on YouTube. And this is sort of Bible Man armoring up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's sometimes assistant cipher. He's like guy in the chair, as they say in the Spider-Man, the recent Spider-Man movies. The guy in the computer. Now this is what I call dressing for success. Wasteful truth. Waste Belt of Truth.

Waste Belt of Truth. Breath Plate of Righteousness. Okay, we got a Breath Plate of Righteousness. We got a Breath Plate of Righteousness, wow. Shoes of Peace. Shoes of Peace. Starting to lose it. Shield of Faith.

Okay, got it back. We're back. Helmet of Salvation. Yeah, kind of unrelated concepts. Full armor sequence complete. And the sword of the spirit. Cypher, do I look okay to you? Yeah, you you look like a superhero which is what you are why oh no reason no reason what that's and that's you know they're talking to eunice that's the bible cave computer yeah of course we know yeah yeah wait unis stands for i don't know i'll get

to it later the universal working intelligence computing entity great great so you know that's one of those acronyms where it's a it's clunky but then it all comes together to form a name that is not a name anyone has unis it's all worth it in the end. There's no Eunice in the Bible? Well, I think you got some Eunices, you know, 150 years ago, but that's with an E. You got an extra E at the beginning. I don't think you got no Eunice with a U out in the world.

Eunice, if you're listening with a U, I apologize. I don't apologize to any Eunices with an E out there. Eunice, yeah, I think it is a thing of like, this year, in this year, the Dust Bowl, the name Eunice, like that's, you know, that's an old-fashioned name. That was in a Disney Adventures,

what's hot and what's not. That was in a Disney Adventures where it was still mostly about Oswald and like Flip the Frog or whatever, the pre, that sort of era. The cover where Clarabelle Cow poses with FDR. Yeah. So, okay.

Now I'm glad you played that. I like that sequence. It does not, however, answer the question because those are items that he had. There is some magic, certainly, in the way that it all just kind of appears in rays on his body. I'll give him that. But really, now we're still in the territory of, I mean, there's a precedent of Batman, not really a powers guy. Batman is kind of an owner of cool stuff.

Yes. Mike, can you answer the question? What are Bible man's powers uh well i know what i've seen him do which is recite bible verses you got it yeah his power is knowledge of the bible he's very good at the bible a power that anybody could have if they wanted it if their hearts were open to it he's a swordsman too of some kind but i don't know that he's actually getting any powers from any of the things that jason list that jason had us listen to yeah he um uh first of all i i should say well i'll post that clip online

because there is a very grotesque wireframe graphic that like they're showing the like armor going on like a 3d figure but it's like a weird bulbous there are a lot of deadly games era cgi like graphics on this show too that's accurate yeah it's pretty transparent i think what happened if you go to 1995 it's like okay they went we need an evangelical power rangers you know there's all these power there's power rangers there's all the knockoffs there's the bootlegs of the super sentai stuff but and so they said yes the man whose power is he knows the bible back to front he knows it yeah yeah once in a while he's Eunice will remind him yeah this that yeah let's be clear about that too that his power is knowing the bible hit the supercomputer's power is knowing

the bible also yes and with a little bit with like maybe you know he knows that 99.7 of the time she fills in that right she's got that computerized full 100 to bring to the table it's sort of weird when the mcguffin of like this is the thing that gave you you know this is the radioactive spider this is the you know uh uh oh they they became adolescents they're mutants they have powers you know it's weird when the mcguffin that they draw their powers from is the word like the good book but honestly here's what i'll say it all makes sense this part makes sense to me yeah it's kind of simple and it but you're like yeah it does it's bible man is a good concept honestly wow you can quote mike carlson on that i'm not saying it pulled it pulled off well

well but they they they got the like transformation they got the morphing sequence right they got they got this uh i think a big stumbling block for the evangelical media or voting block, whatever you want to call it, tends to be like, okay, when they're teaching these children's lessons, they're forgetting to be- Entertaining? And normal. And normal? They're only hanging out with each other in youth groups in church

and begrudgingly they show school or they mention school occasionally but it's like i don't know why don't they uh go to a movie or go to a ball game or like do something that's not just this you mean like a religious ball game where scripture is quoted before the the bat is swung i mean we, we did occasionally have sack races or a picnic on Pentecost. Wait, wait, wait. You had a sack race at church? Well, there was like family fun days occasionally. Okay, but would you participate in sack races?

Yeah, sack races or like horseshoes or something. Like, there was a barbecue. I think I've had a sack race at a church. I think I was okay at sack races. We never went to church, but I think my grandmother once in a while would take us to her church. And I do think I participated in a sack race.

Wow. Is that a themed, is that something we should talk about on the show? Sack races? Sack races. Do sacks count as ride vehicles? Yes. I think family fun day,

I think a lot of the, in the San Fernando Valley at least, a lot of the parishes that have like schools attached to fundraising carnivals this time of year in the spring. All right. Well, maybe we'll visit your local. Maybe learn a little bit while you're there too. Yeah, and have a sack race. Getting a sack and a race. But a solemn sack race.

Yeah, yeah. Don't get too joyous. You got to reflect after you see a sack race. Getting a sack and a race. But a solemn sack race. Yeah, yeah, don't get too joyous. You got to reflect after you see a sack race. Think about that there would be no sack if it weren't for the sacrifices of our Lord Jesus Christ. Wow, that is smooth. See, I got Willie on the brain. He really wormed in there. Yeah, really. So this is the other big thing about biooware, which you've alluded to,

the power is awareness of the Bible, but also swords. Also swords are involved. And specifically, lightsabers. It is lightsabers. I remember this being a real shock in the first one I ever saw, The Six Lies of the Fibbler, where like, okay, I guess I can see a lightsaber show just about i might argue that this is not an up for grabs weapon and that this is associated with

one particular franchise and can't just be borrowed but okay i you know i i like some fun thievery too but uh that then kind of a gloppy faced uh poor man's poor man's Cesar Romero Joker pulls out a lightsaber is a funny and then the lightsaber fights always happen like in front of a church or in a gymnasium

in front of a school with a gymnasium in it possibly if they got a football field that's a fine place for uh uh it might happen in a warehouse that when you look close at the ground is a repurposed school gymnasium maybe they try to not light those clearly basketball court lines on the ground right maybe you won't notice there was one that happened in just kind of like a mid-sized elementary school principal's office like wow yeah it wasn't i mean there was room for a lightsaber fight but i was worried at all times

that a big printer was going to get pushed over yeah yeah those were very expensive back then only a couple in the school you know oh yeah so one goes down and then you gotta like shut down operations you're gonna pull the mimeograph out of storage there's a photo if the photocopier goes down you're gonna be had to make those purple those purple worksheets purple like worksheets why are these purple today don't ask none of your concern kid yeah but so it is bible scripture and swords And you might be asking, how does this work together? And they're kind of, these premises are kind of laid on top of each other.

Like I don't have anything memorized specifically, but it'll be kind of like they, they do fight. Then they get in kind of a, like they lock up and, and then he Bible man will say like Psalms three says that there is great power in the Lord. And once accepted into your heart, you can do all things. And what I'm going to do is send you back where you came from.

And that's about the energy register that it'll stay at. It's all very odd passages where mostly about the power of the lord sure there's very few metaphor or like and hey kids this turned the the lord's head turned the other cheek and that's how you could deal with the bully at your they're not they're not making the the leap they're not going the extra mile they're not using metaphors seemingly because well as everyone knows you occasionally go to school but mostly for youth group events or church uh it's mostly gonna be church a lot of this could be church we're not really acknowledging like restaurants or community centers or like well let now i think you're you're correct about this jason but there's

there's there's one aspect of it that is maybe agenda and that's bringing things to church. But there's another aspect that is maybe if they go to a restaurant or a baseball game, that is a new location. That's a big part of it. Often the small scope of the Bible man universe might be dependent on number of days of shooting and lack of company moves. And, and let me also throw out the idea cause you are correct. You know, sometimes they don't,

they're not, the lessons maybe don't apply to a very specific passage from the Bible, but maybe they don't know how to write television in an entertaining way. Correct. Or know what would keep a kid's attention for two seconds. So that also is a, is something that's going to prevent, prevent what you're talking about. or know what would keep a kid's attention for two seconds. So that also is something that's going to prevent what you're talking about. What would a child like to see besides the sword fights?

Well, probably a successful performance of a youth group. Maybe they could put on poodle skirts and nod to the 1950s. That's an era that could get anyone hopping. It is. That is also very funny that the imagined happy days version of the 50s are immediately like all right poodle skirts mall chop that's wholesome that's wholesome that's good yeah the none of it there was no 50s youth culture was not all like under the surface was everybody's fucking everybody's fucking for the first time and rock and roll is fueling the fucking everyone's in cars like funneling each other

uh or they're dying in the muddy korean war battlefields like there's none of it there's none of that there's no scarcely reflected in the silly songs of the time. Yeah. Rock Around the Clock has no reference to the Korean War. No. I, so, yeah, a lot of like slow, oh, wait, wait. Yeah, actually exactly what you were saying. The lack of metaphor and like kind of, you know, thinking a little creative step beyond. That clip that you played of all of the suit up,

I at least was like, these things are a little creative step beyond that clip that you played of all of the the suit up i at least was like these things are a little like are they trying to be funny with shoes of peace and breastplate of righteousness then i found out that is all from the bible not not all of it i think they might have made up shoes of peace but breastplate of righteousness i'm pretty confident is to literally i don't know the the passage but i really rolled my eyes and i realized oh man they didn't even make this up yeah and especially and there's something that they i don't think they felt very much permission to like cut loose and take liberties where even they're like we know we want a sword we have just let us have a sword there's going to do

something in this and how do we justify it well the the bible refers to the sword of the spirit which like okay so even that is a is a a literal bible quote they could not we cannot just have the fun of their swords in it oh it looks like yeah having our feet fitted with the shoes of the gospel of peace this is part of the armor of god so i think yeah i think shoes of peace are real. Armor of God is a big, they kind of hide in that. And I even, I found articles that are like, we're going to go visit the Bioman live tour. And they're going to, and the reporters say, but isn't it contradictory that you're doing this religious message?

But then it's also a violent show. And the Bioman actors will say well the bible was violent as well and it refers to the armor so so as long as the arm like it they're really concerned with having everything having a biblical justification so they're very much tied to the lore they're taught you know they really respect the original source material you know it's not like this marvel universe, cinematic universe, where they're changing stuff around from how we read it in the comics. It is devoted to the Bible.

They're not going to stray for any reason. You're finding another point in its favor. I think you just found thing number two that you like about Bible Man. Number two, it sticks to the material. Good concept. Sticks to the source yes you um this is all reminding me of um as i say like why didn't they talk about real life it's like oh because they're in insular and shelter like i was thinking did you watch the hbo series

the long way what's it called uh the way down about gwen shamblin she was that kooky preacher like with the giant hair like that whole thing it's like there is a town uh in the south and most of the people who live in this town uh are in this church and their businesses they don't go outside the church congregation for the business owners so the the house painter, the construction people, the grocery, like that's why. And, and people, people in the rest of America see stuff like this and go like, Oh yeah, you're a weirdo. Like this is weird. I go to church too, but I don't go to your church. Like I don't go to this weirdo church,

you know? Well, I guess, and you could sense that, I mean, this era that bible man comes from is is clearly like they're they're gearing up a fight in terms of there's the internet now and the internet is a lifeline to outside of the little insular community and kids could find you know other entertainment or songs that say crap or something so we need to start like really you could tell that the 90s are a big time for building up a lot of christian media because we can like if we can build a wall of our own stuff and we need but we need to get up a bible man going so they don't start straying to well at that time i don't start straying to, well, at that time, I don't know, Batman and Batman Forever. Batman Forever.

It's sinful, you know, with it like lighting the lust of young boys like Mike Carlson. Chase Meridian removes her coat. You see her bare arms. And Chase Meridian proved that, you know, at least in crazy liberal Gotham City, that a female can have a job. That's very true. She doesn't focus full time on looking pretty. She also has a smart person job.

She has an advanced degree. And she's outwardly horny too, which they don't like as well. She's outwardly horny, the most aggressive sexual character in the movie. And she's also past 18 and is not focusing on her she doesn't have

seven kids yeah that's right she wasn't married she's 28 years old and doesn't have seven kids she's not married and you're going like wait how so if they met when the husband was this and she was so she's this age and you're just doing it's in god's eyes it's all fine there's no math to be done um chase meridian maybe is not celebrated as the ultimate feminist icon as much as she should and could be well right and we will in my batman forever 2 script we will celebrate her that will happen and you well not you personally but a character carl michelson will well i look the script is not finished yet so i could end up changing the character's name to my name and marry me to chase you're worried that the the notion of a character called carl michelson who's a stand-in for you might it

might go over some audience members heads yeah i want to make sure they know that it's me all right let's flip i'm not saying it's gonna happen but it's still on the table It could come to you in the writing process Because the script isn't done yet So If I I mean we can go any direction we want with this But I'd like to talk a little about The six lies of the fibbler

Yeah The one that The only one that I knew For you know a number of years And you know Mike's brought it up. This is mainly about, as you alluded to, Jason, the disruption of a youth group performance. There's a girl who is tasked with certain mundane pieces

of putting together a show, which has almost as many audience members as participants in the the group will be performing uh and she uh fails to i don't know like bring the music or something but it's not her her head is getting invaded by the the sinful thoughts of the of the fibbler yeah uh who tells at least six lies according to the title i don't i never watched it counting to know if six was accurate yeah um but you know he like kind of blows smoke like green smoke into her brain yeah which causes hurdle and then she kind of goes into it like

poison ivy in bad man and robin oh that's right yes but of, but it doesn't inspire sexual desire. Yeah. Yeah. Just lies. Right. Um, and the girl herself seems confused. I don't know. I didn't,

uh, I didn't have time. Like she herself is baffled by the lies that are coming out of her own mouth. Uh, um, and you feel for her. Um, I actually think it's a good performance,

but young girl, uh, uh, uh, and I don think it's a good performance by the young girl. And I don't know. I guess maybe the big thing to ask about all this is, what do we think of the Fibbler? We're finally there. We've referred to him and looked at pictures of him. And listener, you should please look up Bible Man Fibbler so you can get eyes on him.

Do we like the Fibbler? Does he remind you of the Batman villains that he's supposed to remind us of? I mean, he's definitely a nasty little creep. He reminds me a lot of... There was a guy who would dress as a Joker on Hollywood Boulevard, but I think he lived in East Hollywood,

so I think he would walk to Hollywood Boulevard because every now and then, outside of the old UCB building, I just see a guy in full Joaquin Phoenix Joker outfit walk a block away, and I'm like, I don't like this. You don't want to see the joker in daily life this and this wasn't just a contestant in one of your tournament of nerds no no this is

broad daylight like you see a joker in broad daylight walking by the bus stop in the mcdonald's you're like oh god what's this guy's what is this like yeah that's a pretty bit as big of a red flag as they come yeah you got a joker walking around but then at least like i think i saw him in a different in like that part of hollywood first and then i was at hollywood boulevard i'm like oh there he is he's taking picture okay he's a hollywood boulevard you know type so now you can trust him yeah that was good yeah or any of the hollywood boulevard guys yeah he's like the like the nasty jack sparrow he's like the dirty jack sparrow you see eating at the cabo wabo canteen uh you know yeah um fibbler he really he there's he's so 90s in um like his the picture of him like this like

promo image of him i don't know if that's what you would call it like do you see what i'm saying there it's so like um it is like but it reminds me a little bit of like uh drop dead fred sure or uh meet the deetles i guess the hair yes although that's a big misconception about meet the deetles oh they don't have the hair in the movie i forget if i said this on the show before yeah yeah that people is that the movie with the guys with the surf hair yeah yeah no not the not the point uh i don't he's not my favorite bioman villain i'll say that oh really oh interesting but i yeah i can enjoy him and honestly even though this even though the show is uh unwatchable it's awful yes but i can i it's fun to watch it in some way there is something to be enjoyed by zooming through it on youtube i still in in finding new ones that i hadn't seen before i still kind of preferred fibbler ultimately because you've got bad songs that break it up

but at least bad songs is better than like dreadful scenes in the high day the headquarters right where they're making meta jokes you know like i'd rather this not have meta jokes yes i agree uh you see i've watched some live videos that are full of meta jokes that bomb that each like does not help the you know there's one for the parents to not laugh at either pretty rough like that feels like a you would think a pretty warm crowd a pretty like safe like yeah oh they're gonna laugh about this joke about the philistines or whatever but also but potentially also a humorless crowd humorless yeah and weird like like not used to seeing live normal entertainment they're used to more like sermon type mega church

uh is that what you're saying like that's yeah and now they're seeing this high octane superhero show laser filled yeah and they're like oh what with rock adjacent music is this and not and not the um uh later mega church with with like that the righteous gemstones poke fun at where it's like there is a production value there's a starbucks in the lobby you know sure yeah oh you'd be lucky to get the the value of that sure yeah some of that's more produced than theme park stuff but yes um i yeah the i mean i like kind of the hokiness of Fibbler. And I guess I like this version of the show better than when it is kind of a cheapo sci-fi, you know, like a 10 times lower budget space cases.

The Fibbler one feels like a super, it's grazed with superhero genre, but otherwise a five times lower budget de grassy junior high it's it's more akin to a kind of slow i'll say canadian i know it was not filmed in canada but it has that fit has that feel um and you i like that well another thing to say is that, so this is the only one I knew for a long time. Yeah. And I thought, okay, so there's that one where that's about the disruption

of a youth group performance. Then I've been doing research over the last week and I realized every one of them is about the disruption of a youth group performance. That's what all of them are. Because I feel like a lot of like let's say after school specials it was like here's what to do at school if uh someone's stealing from your locker here's what's to do if there's a bully here's what's to do if someone offers you drugs

or says like get in my my i was terrified growing up that i would be presented with conundrums of like hey it's me your neighbor uh your mom it was in a car accident she said to pick you up we drilled this all the time we drilled this so much we had a secret word in case my mom had to send someone that i didn't know all right i think this happened word say the word now green popcorn really that was the code word in case someone was sent to pick us up but we didn't recognize them do you feel like you exposed something i did feel a little weird saying it i'll be honest but i scanned my brain and went there's really no scenario where i'm gonna need that word now somebody listening to the show could pull up what'll be interesting your mom said i could pick you your mom said i should pick you up i want to take you i'm gonna take you to her yeah she was oh and by the way green popcorn

that is gonna really that's like mission impossible what's the one where he like it's like a that's the code word that's because somebody's gonna say that to me out in the wild wild and i'm going to forget i said it here and i'm just going to go with them you got to remember yeah i'm just going to get in someone's van it's a manchurian candidate activation phrase right and now that people are going to be activating me constantly that's what's going to be happening and either if i'm there i will try to say wait mike remember i was there you said green popcorn or I'll let it happen Because maybe you deserve it Because you're dumb

And I just kind of want to see how this Plays out you know I shouldn't let You go somewhere bad because that weaponized By the word green popcorn but Depends who it is we'll see we'll see if A fibbler like entity blows Green smoke into my ears Then then I'll let you Take off into the green popcorn car.

All right. That's fair. If I have my shoes of peace on, that'll be fine, whatever happens. Breastplate of righteousness might help the most. But it's harder to put that on. I put my shoes of peace on every day. The breastplate is something you have to really just fix, and it looks odd if you're wearing it you don't want to always go out on a breastplate of righteousness right but shoes of peace you can wear those all the time yeah true

but you know it's good you should put on your it's like sunscreen it's like i should really put on my breastplate of righteousness every day but like oh you forget the door it's pain in the ass oh god yeah um what were you getting what were you getting about it like after school special morals though oh i i'm saying like there there was um kind of a more uh direct like hey here's a problem you might encounter that's very common in adolescents you know school life or daily life uh for this it's mostly about like okay this is church related and i understand that evangelicals like make their shit a lot more centered on the church you know but it's like okay well those kids are gonna encounter this stuff even at youth group like there were assholes at

youth group or like whatever you know but only but if they if there are assholes it's because a villain uh gave them smoke or me or in one case yeah like a uh an early digital uh laser that like spun around their head and made them doubt things themselves they're some of the the problems these kids encounter are like well isn't that just part of growing up like lying or doubt or pridefulness oh they're really they do not want your children to be prideful yeah do not yeah how do you uh um only the only the hideous but was there is that who's the uh is it like the pied piper of of pride oh yeah pridefulness i have the sense i don't remember who the pride villain is at some point i mean maybe i don't want to jump ahead to the cartoon

too much but the the sultan of success which uh so most of the other villains are uh weird uh just weird just like a cheap makeup or just a kooky wig or something uh the sultan of success is like okay it's a it's a foreign guy it's like uh well you might have keyed into look i'm gonna avoid saying a lot of specifics but if you find yourself looking at a number of bible man villains you might start occurring to you that the villains have traits resembling let's just say non-christians non-christians this is a maybe something steak it has to surely be they're just trying to portray uh you know characters with strange features sure or fibbler gets away clean because he's just kind of a generic goal but when you get toossip Queen, which was the one I saw flagged pretty quickly.

Well, or the character. They end up on a talk show of a character called Sammy Davey. That's in the Gossip Queen episode. And he's not a villain, but he's portrayed as a roadblock, a problem for Bible man. And there's kind of only one quality you can ascribe to this character from what you see of him. And that quality is Jewish. There is something a little bit dicey about some of the... Also, you meet the evil equivalent of Eunice the supercomputer.

That character's name is lucy and lucy is exactly like eunice except the voice sounds jewish i'm reporting facts here i don't like the fact let me please illustrate how much i don't like the facts but it's kind of impossible not to notice about bible man if you jump ahead uh to i believe this was either bible man genesis or bible man power source the stupid subtitles they give it eventually same as the terminator movie i think they use both of those uh that is true terminator power this one actually the the the stupid renaming of the exact same thing that is similar to the armoring up that that is a trait of power rangers vr trooper that kind of thing sure sure um but uh in the episode in the

presence of enemies uh when you see a bunch of the villains together it's like oh kind of kind of weird how they all have weird noses that's interesting that's yeah yeah uh and they're all just annoying in different way they're all just annoying character like they're mostly they're like we have to stop bible man let's upload a fake bible like it's like that's that's their trick and that is a reasonable tactic when all five-o man mostly does besides the occasional sword fight is he just stops whatever he do he's doing and kneels down and starts praying like that is the solution to a lot of these problems there it is so life jeez come on and what are you talking about there's nothing you can't solve even if you're in the heat of battle yes brief moments of prayer-based clarity um there's a lot of there's a lot of just

like that we we find out the stakes of the episode and then like well i'm gonna pray for her but in the meantime i'll i'll test some samples at the bible cave it is the bible cave bible cave it's we're dealing with the bible cave in this i thought i got that wrong early i was like there's no way they called that yeah first thought no it's the bible cave the bible cave kind of looks like an extra big living room but with some rock and more stained glass and sometimes you'll see tableaus of like you know it's like microscopes and like zappy orbs like science stuff yeah and then and then mainly a bible yeah beakers with like a thing of dried ice trapped in water so it smokes a little you know science science is all

about uh um but also kids don, don't read too much science. Don't look too much into that. Science is for visuals, mainly. Science is if you have a lab type, if you want to have a neat room in your house, get some test tubes going. Yes. Did we say that his house, though, is the Eagle Gate Manor?

I didn't know. I didn't get that part. Okay. I just want to make sure you know. Eagle Gate Manor and then the Bible Cave okay under it so it's same deal it's exactly the same like where it's it's millionaire he didn't turn his back on being the millionaire but he developed this other persona in order to help with youth group problems yes this is this is one of my favorite things and i've recently there's a comic that I was recently rereading that's,

I shouldn't even say because it's a sexy comic I read when I was little. It's called Danger Girl. You read it when you were little? Well, young, you know, teen, preteen, teenage. And it was about like, it was basically. You deserve to get green popcorn. Well, I know. I do deserve it.

And it is, look, we've talked about this artist who's who's a really great artist named jay scott campbell and he draws like now he's like you can buy like sexy disney he'll do he does like really sexy princesses not for disney and then normal sexy princesses for disney yeah you can find them at the wonder ground and i don't even know if he's drawing comics anymore because he probably makes so much money doing this he had a he had a comic that was called danger girl and it was like an action adventure thing and it was full of sexy ladies um but when you when i'm reading this i'm just like this is absolutely just one-to-one indiana jones there is no there is no other than the fact that

like he is a great artist and even people will say i'm just talking about it because the ladies would like be in a hot tub or something but he is a legit great artist i think um but i'm just like this is there's no they didn't even take a second thought of like maybe we can go a to c on this not just a to a and this is what i love about bible man no thought bat cave great he's rich great mansion same thing fibbler joker fine let's not think about this too hard it's and when anytime i see that now i'm kind of delighted by just like doesn't even matter we're not going to hide that we ripped this off completely i salute you just yeah keep it lazy why not you know they should i'm mad about that they should keep the pale imitations of the

indiana jones franchise to the indiana jones franchise itself all right let them do it they have earned it i look they can't they they're not going to directly adapt uh cheesecake indiana the comic is like cheesecake art it's like betty page indiana danger girl issue two and i'm sorry i'm sorry to do this it's like video game like playstation 2 cover like and just look at the cover and see what i'm dealing with here and i apologize to bring my bring this into it she is naked under all that stuff that's covering up her nudity yes that is correct but what are you gonna do what are you this is not i'm not still like obsessed with this comic or anything but i was rereading it because it's fun to revisit stuff you looked at when you were younger yeah but compared to bible man like the bible man creators would probably try to make this stuff illegal well that's true yes that's true yes the yeah the the

like you like the the bio man episode would be like the pickle of the pornographer and it's just it's not pornography it's just a comic store and then a little michael equivalent like yes i notice you haven't been reading your bible lately is there another book that has your attention or something are there characters you're more interested in girls that go on dangerous adventures you know corinthians says leave the leave danger to men right women should number one bear fruits and the number one problem with danger girl to them is that they were going on adventures yeah women in danger should never mix the sexiness men are for to prevent that yes to provide them with babies to keep them out of dangerous messes yes um another just on the topic of that voice here's okay just to um miles is the original the the bruce wayne of this yes so

miles peterson will walk in the room hey kids how's your youth group rehearsal going okay good well i'm gonna go i think you might see bible man soon he's by when he comes back hey kids how's your youth group rehearsal going there's no there's not even kind of like a little bit of a let's get into here right let's get the rasp it is just the same just charisma suck of willie ames um he really the the vibe of willie ames and therefore bible man it's kind of it's like a guy who you've worked with for many years like uh you know he's been a co-worker of yours for 10 years and if anybody asked you what's up with that guy oh he's a nice guy really nice guy would you ever want to like go hang out with him outside of what never no no no i would absolutely not do that well because he's a creep no not even no just uh i'm

out of conversation with him and two exchanges at the coffee machine but nice guy really nice guy difficult that's our superhero uh energy that we're getting so much of this too is just it's still i think that they think they're doing 60s batman yeah and they think that any amount any type of humor next to in superhero costumes equals 60s batman yeah but alas does not have the charisma of the performers on that show nor the the commitment they they sell it all out with the little meta i'm even trying to think of what's an example of it'll be like um uh you know how did you know the fibbler was going to be there because i wrote it that way yeah no one no one likes no one yeah that's just that's tumbleweed will roll by as i said that right um so they shouldn't be doing that and i like that again that's why i like the

more like degrassi version of of things uh other episodes uh that you guys found in your travels anything you want to call out jason do you have a clip or no i'm i'm right no i i that was really the only clip i call i mean well i kind of i watched the big big book the first one yeah the big big book is the one that is entirely about youth group performances yeah really and it seems like it's um yeah they're worried they're not going to be polished enough for people who are coming to a garage or a shed common room to watch it and then at least by the time the fibbler they got a second location someone in the congregation gave them keys to get in a second location um that was the biggest hurdle of this production i yeah anytime they add a second location it's like guys good news we can get in a boat storage area because the the the millionaire uh who owns the boat dock like

has joined the church so he'll lend it to us but only during the uh cold season he thinks that giving us this location for free will absolve him of his sins which are plentiful i'm sure that's not for me to add that's for the lord to judge uh my i with the episode i like the character luxor spondroth yes um and that episode was or his debut was on the uh defeating the shadow of doubt he's a very recurring villain i feel like he shows up in the live tours as well he certainly does uh and he looks like he's kind of got like a um gary oldman dracula face like painted face but then he has like a borg star trek borg kind of implant sort of on the side of his head and he's got a cape he looks kind of cool in certain there's many versions of him but the version i'm looking at

now which is tiny so i don't know if you can see him but the version here he kind of has this like this fun suit of armor thing on mike you just showed us pictures of danger girl again you didn't even realize it was on your screen shit you showed your cards there i should reveal i also own danger girl action figures. They were so cheap. The designs were cool. They were so cheap on eBay, though. Yeah. And I want to get all the...

There was an imprint called Cliffhanger, which had my favorite artist, Joe Matarera, with his comic, Battle Chasers, but they don't have toys of that. And they do have Crimson Toys, which was Humberto Ramos' vampire teen comic, which I also read, which I need to get those figures, too. You know, Michael, if you brought this degree of specific knowledge to instead your knowledge of psalms i think you'd find the opportunities would open up for you this is a good moment to cut in and i was searching bible there are bible man action figures are there oh man spondroth figure spondroth has one yes but fibbler does not i couldn't find a fibibbler one.

This is some of the stuff where I'm saying it's not so well documented of like, because I did find some other things and there's newer figures too from the animated. Yeah. I think the figures were produced under the jurisdiction of the second owner of the franchise. Right. Whose name was Tommy something. Tommy Nelson. Yeah.

There you go yeah tom i believe somehow i now this is information in my brain tommy nelson's ownership is what made the bible man action figures possible beloved childhood memories getting yanked right out of there this is this fact lives here now uh no fib i don't I haven't seen a fibbler. I don't think so. That's what I'm saying. I think fibbler was early on, which is also why you don't see representations of the youth group kids. Right, of course. You don't see Kyla, the girl who's sad because her parents are fighting. That's a story in the third one of these that's about youth group disruptions.

That one, I don't even know if there is like a somebody breathing bad magic into her head i think she is not performing up to snuff because her parents are fighting okay and everybody's mad at her including bible man that is a recurring that is something they do address uh in fact it's it's part of the origin story of josh carpenter the second guy to wield the bible man like introduce that it wasn't always willie ames eventually a second bible man shows up right and that's that's the way the alter ego is josh is josh carpenter carpenter robert t schlip is the actor robert t schllipp. Pastor Robert T. Schlipp. Yes. Well, I'll flesh that out later. Yeah.

This is from Wikipedia. He is depicted as someone who never understood the Bible until his darkest day, parentheses, when his parents were arguing. What the hell are you talking about? And his dad, the pearls from his mom's necklace while they were arguing fell and broke on the ground. And that was the traumatic origin story. By the time I was in middle school,

they had already had to explain the Challenger disaster, the Oklahoma City bombing, the First World Trade Center. It's like, what do you mean it's darkest day? I knew there were worse things than my parents going like well you weren't gonna get for i don't know what you know i have in this world in this world in this little town wherever this show takes place the worst thing that's happened to anyone is the day that the carpenters were fighting only to only to be doubled by when kyla's parents this is so rare right and of course in both cases

it's josh's fault that his parents were fighting and it's kyla's fault that her parents were fighting well that's kids it's your fault that's terrible to put on that is legitimately terrible to put on children that was a reoccurring anxiety of me of i have caused all these i have caused any problems in the world and that's correct jason have you ever have you thought about how these may be stemming from your lack of faith my lack of picking up the good book yeah yes he has i don't know you've read it a little bit but you don't read it every day it's like you're never going to learn how to play guitar like me and my band uh paradise unless you pick it up every day.

Very short-lived, when I went to church. I think the most exciting thing we ever did was go see Prince of Egypt at the mall. Cool. Prince of Egypt was released. Can be miracles when you believe. Jeffrey Katzenberg. Yeah, that's right. Wow. I realize there's two, that's right. Wow. I realize there's two different Luxor toys.

Wow. Different outfits. Which one's better? I think the one with, well, I don't know. I think this green one is better if you can see it. This one. What about it? I don't know.

I like it better than the red one. He'd say, it's a standard Bear Guy look. There's no stereotypes involved. They don't know i like it better than the red one he'd say it's a standard barra guy look there's no stereotypes involved they don't look honestly they don't look as good as that picture i was showing you with the little kind of borg outfit that he had on that looks cool to me i think that the action figure of the latter day silver version of oh yeah bible man is kind of good i think so i think silver bible man's all right yeah and here's a little bit of trivia i saw this in the credits of one of the live videos there might be a reason why one of the only like coherent aspects of bible man is the the suit

because at least at some point in time they had the suit made by the Kyoto brothers. Is it Chiyoto? Kyoto? Who made Killer Clowns from Outer Space and Team America and Ernest Scared Stupid. Those creatures that lodged into your brain. Of course. It jumped off the screen to me because I'm like a name I know of that's not a latter day sitcom cast cast member like willie ames i was well oh let me issue a correction and then i'll jump back to that point uh i believe that this the red luxor is actually misidentified he's actually alfiero so well well so that makes actually more sense the red character is alfiero so not must have been the work of the dastardly name scrambler um but back to that there there were so many like offshoots it's hard to figure out i don't know i'm sure you if we have more time

but there was a bible man kids version in the 90s as well i don't know if you came upon this oh yeah and to speaking of names of people that jumped out at you. Yeah. All of a sudden, you're looking at Dick Van Patten and Jim Varney. I miss Dick Van Patten. That's an eight is enough person as well. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So he's like singing like it feels like a completely different show.

Bible Man's kind of doing like wraparounds or something. And then all of a sudden, Dick Van Patten's in like a kid's show around like a campfire singing a song about kind of Jesus or something. I found the Jim Varney appearance when we were talking about Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain on Club 3. And I thought it was too confusing and boring to bring up in that celebration of Jim Varney. Yeah. No, I'm not saying. I don't know what the hell's going on in Bible Man Jr. Oh, I don't know. Bible Man. Yeah. Bible Man Jr. I'm not saying. I don't know what the hell's going on in Bible Man Jr.

Oh, I don't know. Bible Man. Yeah. Bible Man Jr. I don't either. I don't have a clip. I have audio clips. I don't have one of those things.

I was just like, oh, wow. Look. Hey, look who it is. Yeah. There is a crossover between them. I like Varney. There was some level of professionalism or like professionals involved in Bible Man Jr. Because outside of Willie Ames and the Chiodo brothers,

if you look at other people's credits, they really don't exist. Like other performers, like mostly other, occasionally other Christian media, but not that much. Well, well, on one of the live tours, there was a person, I have no need to say his name. I wish him well. I don't want to call out this guy.

But they had the Bioman Live at one time boasted a guy who played Two-Face in the Batman Water Thrill Spectacular at Six Flags Marine World. So there you go. A tenured Two-Face, a real villain okay was deployed in bible man live to play the character the wacky protester yeah oh yes i've seen the wacky protester uh i guess that feels like a very 2023 kind of villain to come up oh yeah i mean it feels of the moment i wouldn't think that would be if they were doing it now, they could do that as well. Yeah. Like that's a gut.

Although now it's cold open. Now the wacky protester is a January 6th. So now I think maybe wacky protester would be out. Okay. Or it is a wacky, but wacky is meant like good. Like they're fun. Oh, well, that's all those silly clowns who entertained us on January 6th. They certainly made me laugh. The wacky protesters may be an anti-hero it's like deadpool started as bad guy but now it's fun that seems

like now it's good can they wrap their heads around the anti-hero i don't think they even do that with any of these villains because all the villains come like they're all spawns of satan essentially right so i don't think they're given the chance for salvation really even though in christianity you would give people the chance to like renounce but i think that's too complicated if satan thought of them they gotta they just gotta go back to hell yeah they're all menacing uh children and none of them face redemption they just get not really destroyed they just get thwarted yeah they just disappear whatever video whatever video effect was in the video box the video toaster that they edited this on yeah i was a little surprised there wasn't more fire and brimstone punishment uh for them right yeah that's

true i think i would like it more if they were more literal and biblical and if you like flash to the fibbler suffering like on the on the flames of hell it cuts it says 500 years later right yeah then the fibbler is like melting away he's a shadow of his former self but still but he's been in just in the backstory that he's been moaning in agony for the entire 500 years since he dared mess up that youth group performance i i think some of the thinking behind the making of bible man seems to be like well we want us we want these kids to follow god's word we don't want to scare them so much with the fire and brimstone stuff that they run out of the church they run away from the church but we don't want to go too detail in the bible lest they start doing their own investigation and start asking questions this is the great uh like debate inside the religion i

assume because we went over the ark and what is the ark encounter is that what it's called where he wanted it to not be, I forget that man's name. He wanted his- Ken Ham. Ken Ham, thank you. That's one of the most dastardly villains we've encountered. Unpleasant, equally charisma free. Yes.

He wanted no fun. He didn't want it to be like cartoon animals. No, this is serious. Yeah. This is Ark. So there's this big push and pull. I feel like, how do you compete with the child entertainment of the day if you're not softening things in the bible because if you're

really going if you're really looking into that bible that's a scary book it's a lot it's scary but so you you meet them halfway and you have a fudge shop and you turn a walk-in closet into a vr room well you know what they should sorry to cut you off real quick i was saying you know what they really should have done they should have had mel gibson direct a couple and bring the that passion of the christ realism to the lessons here and yeah fibbler will be punished there's a like it it's exactly the half hour as released on home video but then he then all of the kids take turns whipping his bare back for like a full hour after that's right well bible man watches like kylo why don't you get in there you haven't had a turn with the whip good i know your arms

aren't as you being six years old you don't have quite the whip crack that some of the older kids do but keep whipping you'll get there yeah i know bible man i i saw it uh like available to stream on pure flex which oh god help me whatever i got a free trial right now maybe um uh i i but it's also streaming on uh you know mark wolbert's weird catholic app yeah what's that one called i forget what that's called it's the one he was doing promotional videos for around time of father stew and stuff oh man yeah he went on the uh he was on the today show promoting it yeah on ash wednesday so he had ashes on the ashes yeah i i this is foolish though because evangelicals probably think like ah no Catholics that's not real and no right right man I just signed up for RFD TV Jason might know that because I discovered that the home improvement tool time girl Debbie

Dunning has a show called Debbie Dunning's dude ranch roundup on RFD TV. So they was trying to get me to sign up and pay like $6 to go on RFD TV. Hang on. Why are you watching Dude Ranch Roundup? Well, I remember I was driving over here in the car and I said, don't bring this up even though you want to talk about it. Don't force this into the episode. It's not necessary. But it's too late because we're talking about streaming service.

Instagram knows what I want to see. And for some reason there's a video of debbie dunning sitting on william shatner's lap at a comic convention in the last few days he looks uncomfortable at first and then they just start making weird sexual innuendo jokes about it and then i said oh wow debbie dunning is doing like the concert and i didn't realize this and so i started going through and there she is with richard karn at different comic conventions and she's wearing the binford tool outfit uh everywhere taking photos with guys and is this uh maybe is she neck and neck with danger girl in terms of mid-90s interests uh i thought she was i was not a huge home

improvement fan so i'm not trying to diminish. I was certainly Chase Meridian. I'm being honest. I'm honest about Chase. I'm honest about the Danger Girls, Abby Chase, all of them. But yeah, no, she was attractive, but I wasn't obsessed with her or anything. This just, the reason, by the way,

the reason Instagram showed this to me is because an old William Shatner was in the clip, not because of Debbie. Oh yeah, what do I say? Instagram gets you. They know you don't want babes. You want old men, old actors. I want any Star Trek actor that's alive that's over 70. People who are famous primarily for something that happened 24 years before you were born.

Yes. Exactly. They saw me follow the Barbara Eaton fan account, and they know. That's a little bit of both. You got a little bit of babe in there, too. That's true. Although I never had a crush on Jeannie. swear to god my love of genie was pure let me be clear here i thought she seemed nice um um but uh so then i found that then she's

promoting debbie dunning's dude ranch roundup and i said well what is this and it is debbie dunning going from going around i assume probably maybe two states and finding like the best dude ranches in the country yeah uh and i looked up rft tv uh i was like well i bet their twitter bio will immediately tell me what this is and it did the official twitter page for rfd tv rural america's most important network rural yes and it's like oh okay i think i kind of but this if you sign up for the streaming service you get shows like big joe poca show classics which is just like a big like like a hall of some kind where this guy big joe shouts out like hey here we got the and then it's like a naze like the emmett poca and then some guys like play a poca while very very old people dance and the thing is shot like a c like a c

span or something we're just like a hard camera here it fades in and out it might only be 10 years old but it looks 50 years old what does rfd stand for i don't know. I don't know. But there's shows on here called Cowboy Church, Cowboys of Thunder. Rural Free Delivery. The name for the U.S. Postal Service's system of delivering mail directly to rural patrons. That's about as obscure as it could be. There's a show called I Love... Wait, so it's the TV version of the mail? Mail TV. Yes. obscure as it could be there's a show called i love wait so it's the tv version of the male male tv yes there's a show called i love toy trains there's a show called live i'd say my kiddo would like that yeah so the merlin jean show just like name like molly b polka party

these are all shows you get for your like six dollar cow guy club i don't know if this is close or close with scott the cow guy that's scott shellady in nashville tended to see he's wearing a suit with cow pattern one of the peers scott shellady uh now i have that in my head all right shot shellady lives in my brain now there There's something called the Presley Country Jubilee. And then they're all looking and they're all wearing those nudie suits. And I was like, oh my God, I think I'm going to pay $6 to watch all the content on this network. This is where Paula Deen has ended up. Oh no.

Positively Paula. Oh no, you had to put a sour note on it. We forgive Paula. Paula can do whatever she wants. Say whatever she wants on our FDTV. Texas bucket list. We hope she doesn't, but if she does, we don't fire her. This is a mix of stuff that is either very boring and harmless,

or like, here's like a commentary, financial commentary show, and it says, Lee, ESG is corporate communism. I don't know what any of that means. I don't know what any of that means i don't know what esg is look jason i'll investigate all of this um but i yeah anyway i crammed it into this episode do you know that debbie dunning's dude ranch roundup is from 2017 well she's still promoting it it's still available it's still there you don't just kiss a product goodbye you put your blood sweat and tears into she went to those ranches she's there was hot days she sweat a lot this is look i just learned about this so i'm gonna get to this before i get to yellowstone is what i'm

saying i'm definitely gonna go through the catalog i think i approve of that Yeah Order of things Well look You know Pureflix is no slouch either Because if you're Listeners If you want to see All the Bible Man We're describing You can find it there

With the worst interface You've ever seen A streaming service have Though I say that Not having seen RFD TV's layout We don't know yet Yeah

We'll find out But they've got A weird sad sitcom With Dave Coulier Really? So yeah They're stacking the names up too yeah uh we'll find out but um but they've got a weird sad sitcom with dave coulier really yeah they're stacking the names up too that's called live and local with dave and he's the the host of a christian local radio station all right and then there's another one called malibu dan the family man and that's about a local morning tv show host these are both dave coulier no he's not in malibu dan there's nobody prominent in the bleed cast of malibu dan but you do get victoria jackson in three episodes

i'm listening victoria jack are there any polka parties on this streaming service they may not offer polka rfd has multiple shows about poke parties unless there is a pure poke if it's called that there might be pure poke the streaming there's a full you're right no now that i think about this there's a roku poke channel that was promoted on one of the youtube because i looked up big joe i watched a little of that big joe and it says you can go to the poke channel on roku so there is a full poke channel Roku's the Roku channel page

is much more Wild West than the Apple TV one we could have a channel on Roku tomorrow yeah

tonight podcast the ride channel tonight we're launching it alright it's mostly got poker parties on it they're mostly in the

public domain big Jason Sheridan's poker party. Public domain poker party. Also, you can watch the Carol Burnett show on RFD TV. I'm just calling this a battle between the two. Let's imagine we both have lightsabers. Right, yeah. Well, where else but on Pure Flix can you watch The Little Rascals?

Well, where else can you watch the little rascals well where else can you watch uh our gang they don't just put uh copyright free they don't put public domain stuff everywhere dude only by the in the by the lord's virtue on pure flicks can you find chop kick panda a a animated film that bears no resemblance to any other martial arts related panda film chop kick panda is original and the lord recognizes it as an individual but where can you watch cattlemen to cattlemen so scott you're saying the the 99 cent store like dollar store knockoff aladdin or whatever has jumped apparently it's allowed to be on on pureflake yeah they have something called cars life i got a car's life too i got a car i i wanted to watch any television growing up so if i got like a distant relative gave us like you know vhs copy whatever i will

watch it just anything didn't matter doesn't matter what anything statistically i am shocked i didn't get um more like odd like oh i found this at night and since it's like a weird evangelical like little mermaid or something you know sure um there's yeah there's a lot of cartoons yeah purefix has a cartoon that's just called jesus they got to that title nobody's grabbed that nice and simple yeah we got jesus we got him um the there's something else i was gonna say oh oh here let me let me wrap it back to that episode big big book the one that is 100% about, other than very brief flashbacks to a time that somebody named Decepto put Bible Man in a pit. It's just something he thinks about briefly so that he can say, so I face challenges too.

So I think you'll be able to choreograph this number in the next hour without issue. And then you get to see a lot of a performance of a song um and this not the song big big big book uh or book of books i think they're both there's three numbers in this song and there are there's three numbers in the show and they're all about the bible of course this is the 1950s one uh so here's a quick clip of the spirit of the fifties, but as a, but pointing you in the direction of the Bible. me if i want to know who did what and when i'll find out just how long it's been when i need an education all about history important lyric

i it's the it's the only book i need you don't so the message of this song is if you want to know about history it's only one book well isn't that still the message they're going with these days it does you keep some bad ideas out if you only point it at the bible and then the same message essentially is said about uh science when i when all I've got is science on my mind I run and fetch my Bible right on time so if you start if your thoughts are drifting to dirty things like science and grab a Bible they tell you that this is music on the campaign trail the only video left is big big book right big empty library with one Vhs in there yeah they

tell you go to go to the bible to learn about history and politics and it's like no i i don't even know i know you you can give it a shot but like i don't think you have to take everything from that you know everything for that also i'd like to learn about jimmy carter's administration is that in the bible uh yeah go to the bible he's got a fun prince and a king but you didn't answer my question though punch run away yeah they also they're showing all these kids these kids all look to be the age where it's like my memory of of being that age and of of teaching of like kids that age it's like you encourage them to read anything because the last thing they want to do is read this but jason silly jason the silly

sure but like it's it's infomercial like all these books who has room for any of these books and if you just have one book a book that's every kind of book it's science it's history if you just romance it's christmas there must be a scam like christian ebook reader like there must be a scam christian kiddo where it's like well there's only one book on here there's only one book you need but you get this you still get the thrill of paying 30 a month as if it was for separate books that's right uh the bible subscription sir do you miss out on monthly subscription fees because you only read the bible not anymore so that that clip you see all the girls are like sitting at the soda fountain they've all got poodle skirts the the boys are dressed like greasers and that they have haynes beefy tees

like tucked into jeans there's no sunglasses uh they're absolutely certainly no cigarettes or switchblades like you know none of that shit You have to give them credit because it probably took 40 years for just the greaser and the poodle skirts to not be offensive to hardcore Christians. Yes. They, they, when the throwback burger restaurants came around with a jukebox and a milkshake machine, they, they were okay with that. But we don't talk about any of the rest happened in the time i'm sure like hardcore christians were like this is the most sinful dress that a child or a teen could ever attempt yeah yeah we're we're eliminating songs one by one we're there's no way to really know what b-bop-a-lula means right so it's out those aren't slacks they don't have a pop they don't have a button collar on those shirts it's an undershirt rolling we'll

allow rolled up sleeves that's okay on the boys on the boys on the boys the girls wear full sweaters thicker than usual sweaters cover those arms that's right it's also very very funny because like the the bad version of the song and then the good version of the song, there's not a gulf. It's kind of the same level because they don't want to do a bad version of him. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm.

Wait, you're saying that a good version of that song would be the same quality? I'm saying like when they're like, ugh, that was okay. Oh, when they rehearse it and it's not going great. Right, right, right. Yeah, I can't tell the difference between the good one and the bad one. i can't tell the difference i can't

tell it's like shitty little kids doing a shitty little show you know another thing i like about this episode is when it's like oh we gotta take our places the kids are lining up there's a bunch of kids outside we're saying we want the show we want the show and they and the show is called the bible man show it has the same title as what you're watching So this play that everybody's gonna go see Is called The Bible Man Show And they send somebody's dad out Go distract him, kill some time And they start

Asking him all these questions Like, when's the show start? When can we come in? There's a special guest in the show, right? Do you know who it is? Tell us, who is it? And he's like, I can't, I'm not at liberty to, hey, look over there. And would you believe that the special guest

in the Bible Man show is a Bible man? Wow. Shocker of shockers. How'd they get him? How'd they get him? Yeah. Wow, big get. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was not just a, they didn't just license the property to do this show they had the man himself um i uh yeah this one this is cruddy elsewhere they compare the bible to this little another line that's like well like shakespeare and his romeo and jul, but which is not a book. That is a play. It's not applicable, but it's, the song is entirely like, like dissing lesser books, like Webster in his dictionary.

The Bible is better than Webster. Okay. I could, you could, there be a Bible without it when I, yeah, they wrote it without. Yeah.

I guess there's some validity to that. I sort of jumped around in episodes, and it did start to dawn on me of, like, noticing all these children are not, like, working at a, volunteering at, like, a soup kitchen or planting a tree. Like, noticing everyone in this universe is mostly just proselytizing to each other

all the live long days. Yeah, it's kids doing youth group performances for kids who might be in the youth groups of the future. Yeah, they're watching this on the 4x3 TV strapped to the cart that's rolled in. It's the only except the only thing resembling an exciting day in these uh except for maybe when bible man live rolls into town i want to make sure we devote some time to bible man live and i only say love i mean

compared to the tv show yes yeah yeah well because this is huge i mean you know we're i don't know what cities it came to i saw you know evidence of that it would go to florida cities that makes sense or maybe like montgomery um so yeah bible man live shows up in montgomery where now we're talking it was like that's what i was trying to find like tour dates i was trying to find some documentation of it it was apparently on something called the billy graham crusades which is something he did for decades which was just a touring show to get to convert people okay and it would contain like it would contain probably sermons but i guess this would just be a chunk of it sometimes yeah um and i couldn't find there's different i guess he was doing for decades

so there's many versions of it which i get in like going back like maybe the 70s or 60s uh so he was maybe doing his own coming out of our shells show billy graham was yeah years before this um but yeah it apparently original ninja turtle as most people call him yeah right yeah yeah um so yeah so it's interesting because there are many different videos of this bible man live and they're all a little different they have different villains they have different characters there are different songs yeah i was going like i have clips from different shows with completely different songs yeah and there's not just one rubber stamped they kept reinventing the by what bible man live I have clips from different shows with completely different songs. Yeah. And there's not just one rubber stamped.

They kept reinventing what Bioman Live, the touring show, was. And it's interesting. And again, there's not really like, I couldn't find it on allmusic.com where they had compiled a list of all the different songs. But you would go like 45 minutes into one of these and I go, well, this song isn't terrible, wow it's not terrible like the any song on the tv show that i came upon i think was like awful that bible song did you not just hear let's go it's the only book okay i burn all of their books that was pretty good uh and not that these songs are good but i was enjoying them more at least i'll say that um but yes it's very much a setup exactly like

coming out of her shells uh where you know bible man's there kids are yelling when the bad guy shows up there's an easy lesson parky booing all the theme park booing it has the ultimate theme parky thing which is the pre-recorded soundtrack yes i think every one of them that i saw that like that it is all baked in even though it is the real actors doing it it is willie ames and later uh pastor uh schlip yeah it was pastor schlip he's there in person but they just lip sync right i should have said sorry coming out of their shells the song is coming out of our shells sorry i know i just want to be correct here make a big mistake people are going to be upset um but you know some of the characters aren't there notably bible girl doesn't seem to be

bible girl does show up she does she sings a song in one of them too wow so this is what i'm saying like i don't know i did not have time to document each show which is kind of what i started wanting to do but i would just take some chunks out of these things and we're gonna i may end up having to edit some of this too because i did not completely precisely uh cut these to the point where because some of the lead-up is very entertaining too but maybe uh maybe you'll say i'm incorrect about that i mean this is no judgment on you i think being that it is bible man i might say this is boring yes so here you know two seconds in let's start with bible girl just i want to give you a flavor the different flavors that

appeared on this live show and i'll just start it and see what we get where we're at wow sounds like natalie embrulia yes this is 2005 and this song is called free so yes they're going off of Natalie Imbruglia from 1998. Yeah, I was impressed by how current it was until you said 2005. Yeah. I was thinking how Bible Girl was born a sinner. She should feel really bad about it.

My own carnal mind. Oh, God. This is making sinners seem cool. Yeah, do they ever do any flashbacks to when Bible Girl was a sinner and had a carnal mind? No. Do we ever see any? No. No flashbacks?

Oh, no. Just to flesh out the character. That's when she first met the paint huffer. She used to be a danger girl, and now she's a Bible girl. But we're not seeing that. We're not seeing the old days. Actually, you know, that's kind of the gist of that one. That's not my favorite one, believe it or not.

I have carnal. A Bible man sings in one of these. Not all of them. Wow. But he sings in one of these. Oh, boy. A flashback to the days of paradise. What Christ Jesus,

our Lord has done. Oh, that's slip. Yeah. So yeah, I was going to say, this is not Williams. This is a later one.

They both toured extensively. Yes. Bible man. This is shipped. This is later. I don't know. Real quick. Do you guys,

what are you, who was your favorite Bible man? You know, it was a question we always answer, but, um, it's, I mean, I i this is the only

choice in the world where i would pick willie ames i think in any other equation where the answer is pot if it was like most boring guy but willie gets it every time but if if uh charisma is involved at all all right fair enough yeah i have to agree with you on that. Maybe versus Ken Ham, Willie stacks up. That's true. More charismatic. But I do, Schlipp is too he's just got nothing going on. He's got nothing going on.

A little more classically handsome. Oh, but yeah, what jumps into my head is that he's an LA 3 but a Bible man 10. into my head was that he's a he's an la3 but a bible man 10 compared to what became before that's fair enough by the way that's a distract or sidetrack too much but this this bears saying is that um the whole like they're doing the tours and the videos with willie ames and then all of a sudden mysteriously

there's even a video i found where he says well i've hurt my back so i'm not going to be able to do them anymore but years later i think the story has changed yeah if you can believe it i think that willie ames who is not an out of shape man but who you know a lot of us probably have more attractive fathers than willie ames let's give it up for our hot dad of us yeah listeners too i mean uh you know he's just he's the most like milk toasty man yeah um and i think that uh here's what happened robert schlipp was a pastor somewhere where Bible Man Live showed up. They hit it off. I really like you.

And in fact, I trust you. And I sense that you won't screw me over in a year's time. Why don't you come along and be part of the Bible Man ministry? And he did. And then suddenly the production's like, who is this hot? Who is this unimaginable? He's by far the hottest guy ever involved in the bible man enterprise someone i found i forget where it was it was like reddit or the youtube comments

someone's like i noticed this episode because all the bible man stuff is on youtube uh bootleg or otherwise and um uh there there were youtube commenters going like, I noticed that this episode suddenly Willie Ames is credited as the writer, director, and producer, and Tony Salerno only gets the credit for co-creation? Do you think maybe there was some trouble? Do you think maybe there was some... People are trying to, like, never. Like, the Bible Man set is a place of peace

The set is made in the Lord's image Of course I will say the generic CG model Might be more attractive than So you're saying when William said he was Not doing it anymore because just of Having to be in shape for the costume you're saying that that's like maybe like a michael jordan flu game

kind of retcon of the history well yeah i think he i think you know this is uh dirk digler and the new guy oh right name but i accept the opposite of that in terms of content. Yeah. But, you know, like the young gun shows up. It's like behind the candelabra. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Suddenly, your old news. Hey, he fits in the suit, so he goes in. But, you know, things ended up fine for Willie, as you can tell by this clip of him several years later on the Celebrity Weight Loss Series Celebrity Fit Club.

Oh, of course. He ended up in a perfectly good state after some drill instructor guys showed up at his house unannounced one morning. Do you know how lucky they are that they weren't staring down the barrel of a 12-gauge shotgun? Now, when people come to my door and invade my property, the only reason they weren't looking at a shotgun was because I saw the camera crew out of a window. You told me that you could not get to the gym, right? So I brought the gym to you. And you know what? You put a shotgun out, you can bring it out.

You want you to broke that thing right there off in your ass. If he's quicker, if he's quicker than your problems with getting exercise in your schedule. So we try to help jumpstart you. What did he say? Do you remember Celebrity Fit Club? Yeah, yeah. He was on set. At the time, I was watching it mainly going like, that's Bible Man.

Wow. Bible Man's on this. And then what's great is as this clip goes on, it's cutting to who else is on it. And you're like, Jack Hay, Victoria Jackson. Wow. And then in a huff he's like you have insulted me for that's he's still even in a real argument he can't get

actual rage and it just turns into you've insulted me you've made me feel like a fool today damn you for that and then he and he storms out and then uh and then a very concerned g Busey chases after him. Wow. And then he comes back in and then has a very Christian hissy fit. Reality TV or not, this had a great, powerful, positive effect on my life. And I felt like what you did was take a dump all over it. That's funny. Hissed. That's funny. That's a little scarring here. He's not saying dump.

Even acknowledging the fact that your body makes waste out of its anus. Yeah, yeah. That's not something I don't think evangelicals talk about a lot. A dump is something that the Lord has made, but it still doesn't mean I want one on me. Damn you. I'm pissed. I do get the sense from him that he feels worse about the language he's using

and not potentially pointing a 12-gauge shotgun at a stranger. Well, you know, he didn't. He saw the camera, and that stopped him from bringing a gun. I guess unlike uh bible man who only uses the sword of spirit willie ames has other weapons shotgun there was a thread going around twitter uh of um it was a clip from like a new jersey paper advice column and someone's like i believe my neighbor is leaving her 13 year old child home alone for a few hours on saturdays when they go to the part-time job and the advice columnist was

like you can leave 13 year olds alone for a few hours please like essentially please be normal like and there's all these things in the comments of like yeah uh the cops were called in my town because a kid was walking four blocks to their friend's house. And they thought they were. It's all this psycho stuff where it's like, yeah, when I was a kid, I was playing in the backyard looking for frogs with a flashlight. And my neighbor came out with a gun and said, like, you got to be careful. I didn't know who you were. And it's like, oh, OK, so this we're all unhinged.

Everyone's unhinged. Well, just look at next door. Look at the next door app. Yeah, next door. The people are the psychoed. Everyone's unhinged now. Well, just look at Nextdoor. Look at the Nextdoor app. Yeah, Nextdoor, the hate crowd. People are out of their minds. Just looking out the window, peering out the window. Yeah. Here's a reference.

A bunch of Gladys Kravitzes. Blank, blank, blink, blink. Jason, you know it? I can't pull it. I've heard it. I've heard the name before. The Nosy neighbor from bewitched oh yeah okay you gotta look look up gladys kravitz's big old rodeo roundup

yeah she's 140 and she's still hosting a show on rfd tv it's it's insane that my go-to for nosy neighbor is uh mr roper and And that is somehow more current than yours. Ten years more current than mine. Yes. So that's weird Gladys has not come up on this show after six years. Yeah, really. Do you have something to finish up? Because I have a few more.

I need to play a few more songs. Oh, just that then he starts yelling at the drill instructor guy about like, I called you and you didn't call me back. And then maybe feel like you took a dump on me. And then the guy's response is you want to know where I was? I was at my friend's funeral. He's a soldier who died in Iraq. Oh my God.

Your next way in is eight pounds, eight pounds. I'm done with you. Like, so, so Willie gets shut up real hard with the, the, the fresh Iraq soldier.

Jesus. Yeah. It's a hell of a. That show was intense. It really was. I do recall. It was kind of a good show. It sounds like it's got full of drama.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So anyways, but I'm sorry. I feel like you were in the middle of a clip and I took a big dump all over it. That's okay. I'm going to be polite about it. I'm going to be like Christian about it. I am upset and want to get a 12 gauge, but

I will be polite about it. This is real quick. This is what Bible Man sounds like when he sings. Word says, how can a young person keep his life pure? By living and keeping with your word. I trust in you with all my heart.

Don't let me wander away from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart so that I won't sin against you. Amen. That was Psalm 119. So that's Eunice. And 11. More 90s sort of rock here. You are my backbone.

You are my breath. Bible man? You are my curse. It's a very Splinter, Skipping Stones style song. You are the essence. You are my heart you are the soul inside he's in like a purple suit singing this yes wow Oh, yeah, God, help me through this night. And this is definitely the most Christian rock of all the songs.

Yeah, yeah. So Bible Man does not sing in all of them. But there's two more I want to play real quick, because these are more my favorites. These are the two just to give you sort of a flavor of the later ones. But this one is Furiosa, who we mentioned earlier. And this is before we started here. I asked Scott, I go, did you play a clip of Bible Man Live on the show before? Because I was watching this and I had this weird flashback.

And we'll see if you guys remember this or something that was the same as this. If it wasn't this clip. But I think it was a different parody of the song they're parodying here. So I may have to zoom around a little bit, but here we go. They've introduced Lucy the computer. That's why they're making this va-va-voom music. Because Lucy is a sexy computer. But I'll zoom forward a little bit.

The computers in the show, by the way, all say Acer on them. It's like the kind i had in 2001 i'll be able to pull up enough gold fury to turn these brats into one terrifying titanic tempered tantrum of trouble so they're showing all these kids that are completely uninterested in the show while this is happening and the kid he's threatening to do whatever he's going to turn the kids into something and he's he's uh uh very annoying i would say but here we go so so the song kicks in do all the gags okay okay evil gives me a charge kind of an itch that it's to cut a little rug oh well furioso say it again lucy furioso i sorry i think i said furioso say it again baby boy i hate stuff

what's up now he's rumba is this sort of a Ricky Martin? I mean, that's what I think it sounds like to me. This is familiar. Yeah. Why is this familiar? Can we play this? No, no.

Listeners. I feel like you played Live in La Furiosa on this show before, but I can't remember when or why. Deepest, darkest pandemic. I don't know. Ricky Martin parody. Live in La Furiosa. I know that melody is instantly familiar.

But maybe somebody else was just doing a Live in La Vida Loca parody and you were playing it. That's what might be the case well was i talking about the christian parody band apologetics and their christian parody of live in la vida loca live in what jesus spoke of i don't think so jesus spoke of come on get christ in your life this is a real thing look it up wow apology that's a whole pile of shit is uh the christian parody band apologetics um it's spelled with an x if you want to look it up the most confusingly named i think that i feel like we played you you play this specifically no it's really and i can't think of by the way i still i found the name of the eiffel 35 character but i'll say that at the end of the show but there's all these things we've forgotten more things we've said on the show more than i've ever known

the topper of the episode will be the reveal of the thing we said already but my favorite of all of the things that i found from the live is a song by rap a character named rapscallion p sinister did you guys find rapscallion p sinister so he's got kind of like a kano for moral combat like metal plate on his head he's so lip-synchy allow me to it's a little off because of the bluetooth. I am Rod Scallion. P. I'm sure it was fine live. P stands for polite. You can simply call me sin. Well, get a load of this dump. So this is where the Bible lumps make it all happen.

Bible lumps? We will now shut down Eunice. He's got bright red hair and a bright red chin patch. He does look like Scott Weiland. I like him the best, maybe, actually. He's like a Matthew Liller, Johnny Lee Miller actor. Yeah. So now Lucy is in this as well.

Lucy is... Oh my! I've never heard so much love for us. Those are boos. And there's no va-va-voom music with Lucy in this as well. Lucy is... Oh, my. I've never heard so much love for us. No. Those are boos. And there's no va-va-voom music with Lucy in this version.

Wait a minute. Who are you? Why doesn't anyone tell me that I have to re-educate another rookie when it comes to this evil stuff?

I'm Rapscallion. So he's Rapscallion P. Sinister is what he's about to say. But then he gets into a song and the song, I think you'll understand why I like this song the best.

And maybe you will, maybe you won't. We'll see. Well, the guy already looks like one of Green Day. Looks like Mike Dern from Green Day. Let's break my name down, shall we? I wasn't expecting this. Ooh, this will be fun! Ooh. Ooh.

This is the angriest kids. What does it mean? It's very easy and really very clean. I love to rhyme. It's the angriest kids. I love to rhyme. And when I sin, it really is a crime. So what is scallion? What does that mean? It sounds so foreign. It sounds so mean.

It is an onion. The color green. And it is smelly if you know what I mean. You can call me Mr. Piss. You can call me Mr. Slime. You can call me cause I'll answer every time. Boom. This is kind of good.

You can do what is right for the pee when it stands. Boom. This is kind of good. Yeah. One more time. You can do what is wrong You can do what is right For the P Well it stands for polite I mean The groove is pretty good It's alright It's a pretty good groove

It's different than all the other bad songs Well it feels like a song Mr. McFisto could have done Absolutely And he's very McFisto-esque So that was the jam I found Where I was like okay here we go Mr. McPhisto could have done. Absolutely, yes. And he's very McPhisto-esque. So that was the gem I found where I was like, okay, here we go.

This kind of doesn't surprise me that Billy Graham was like, alright, you gotta have a little more pizzazz. You think Billy Graham's influence got the sexier song into the show? I think a tent revivalist, I think like a guy who grifts a lot of money on like a

touring ministry probably at least had a director and like a lighting guy of like you know i'll say this i don't know when they joined the tour but i the the stage like it looked the same in the in the early one i saw yeah but the only difference i this is a, look, let's be honest, this is sexy. This song is a sexy song. Yeah. Could have been the influence of Billy Graham. Could have been the sexy influence of Billy Graham. That's, that's.

How do we hide it without, you have the sex without saying sex. Yeah. And Rapscallion P. Sinister was the sexiest character in Bible Man. But what is the message here? In all this time, now where they've landed is that the boring vanilla stuff that Bible Man does, that we're supposed to root for that, but then finally there's a halfway decent, halfway sexy piece of music, and it's from one of the minions of Satan.

Right. They're confused, I guess. You think this song was an awakening for any... Did it shake anyone out of their bubble and their stupor? I want to be Rapscallion. Yeah, it had to have, I think. The groove in that song is undeniable. There's probably a young young person man or woman who saw this performance and went home and did their first act of self-pleasure

inspired by this performance at the age of 27 and a whole world opened up for them uh-huh yeah and they wrap scallion pea sinister to thank yeah uh uh it's uh wow yeah that song i'm glad you found that i felt like i was uh coming up empty in the live performance like well it was a slurring for me yeah there's like only two or three songs if you're lucky in these performances so you really gotta like find them you have to hang in there uh to find because i'm sure i'm sure if they change this much i'm sure there's a lot of different things i've missed already well the the one bit of dumpster diving i was happy i really i thought live was just an area that was not working so i'm really glad you found that. But then today, I finally found a live video that gave me what I wanted,

which was a little bit of like it had Willie Ames talking to you at the beginning and talking about putting the show together. And that's the one where he weirdly says, we're not going to be doing it as much anymore. It's not because I'm not handsome, as you can see. I'm not handsome As you can see I'm magnificent But anyway It's not so much about what happens in the show There's all this weird stuff

At the beginning Kind of showing the influence of the Bible Man Live Enterprise Which has now been running for Maybe seven years And the first thing is that you see You don't know what's happening but willie ames is getting a tour of a spaceship like what's happening they don't explain what it is it's just like a minister talking and it takes you a minute to put it all together and for the guy to say well you

know and he's a minister in sarasota florida and he says uh you know we had uh we had the bible man show come uh sarasota and uh you know it's the most exciting day in our parish, you know, we had the Bible Man show come to Sarasota, and it was the most exciting day in our parish. And, you know, we saw the way the kids were paying attention. You know, they were at attention much more so than in a regular service, and they were looking at those lasers and looking at the lights. So that's why we set up the new youth mass center. And what that is is they just took a room and put a big spaceship in it and filled it with

lasers. So that's where the kids get to go to church now, which I say, that is a plus. You know, maybe we're getting a little confused here, but if that was me, I was a church going kid.

If suddenly, if I'm going to Sunday service for the thousandth time and, oh boy. All right, well, I'll see how i can keep this uh actually we're going to a different room i'd be thrilled yeah i feel like this is this is always when i'm looking at like christian entertainment you're like i was entertained by only like

something that was three times better than this like 15 better than this yeah it doesn't take much it doesn't take much i mean if power rangers which you know there's something to power rangers and the designs are cool but if you watch the show obviously it's not sophisticated but if power rangers and ended with like zordon going and remember study your bible or whatever i'd be like yeah i guess i should this show is awesome so yes at the universal amphitheater and commit yourself to christ right i go with the pink ranger standing by because you'd go you get so excited to be part of like a fan club or if they said send a like a postcard in yeah it wouldn't have taken that much but for

some reason like anything i've ever seen that's christian entertainment you go this is not watchable this is condescending or this is cheap or this is not entertaining yeah it's not entertaining yeah and for the most part this is there's there's fleeting moments there's fleeting within the bible and i guess in the like on this scale it clearly look at that like it inspired a laser space church for kids in sarasota florida that must have been like such a a huge boost to morale oh yeah if you're a young person in that town and clearly it had a huge effect all over florida because the next thing it cuts to is bible man getting a special letter of commendation like a plaque or something

some honor from the mayor of tallahassee um who is just you know ravishing praise on on willie ames and the bible man enterprise and then willie is holding a bible man mask and he gives it to the mayor of tallahassee so it's this wonderful exchange uh spirits are very high and i was like i wonder if i can find out who this mayor of tallahassee florida was oh here we go look it up uh and uh the one of the quickest wikipedia justifications of search i've ever seen the guy's name scott maddox compare the photos that's him ah what's this not even deep into the wikipedia uh scott maddox was indicted on December 12th, 2018 on 44 charges, including racketeering, bribery,

extortion, bank fraud, and wire fraud in an FBI investigation into corruption that played a key role in Democrat Andrew Gillum's campaign for Florida governor. He, at this point, he was some other position in Tallahassee by then. He basically was like taking bribes from companies

that wanted to change the rules in florida like he this guy got 40 grand from uber personally wow great um and so he got in trouble and his girlfriend got in trouble and this man is today in jail okay he's serving out a five-year sentence his girlfriend's serving out maybe could be wrapping up a two. So in his personal effects that they take before you go into jail, a Bible man mask might be sitting in this. It could be in an evidence locker. It could be in an evidence locker as well.

But what do you have to say about this? No, please, no. You can take anything you want from me. You can lock up my girlfriend for life for all I care. But do not take my Bible man cowl. That was from Willie Ames. Do you understand? You're lucky I didn't have a 12-gauge shotgun the day the FBI came to my door.

Celebrity fit clubs, Willie Ames? That's right. Show some mercy. As a celebrity fit club fan, as all of us are please let me go oh sad yeah so the one politician i ever saw bible man interacting with is in jail all right so you know he hung out with good folks uh like rapscallion uh you know fun villains and real life villains yeah um you know he had a he had a blast his ride came to an end with i guess after some sputter of a not very good cartoon seemingly yeah i well the cartoon's a little unfortunate just by sheer nature of it being

animated it's slightly more dynamic sure uh but like some of the stuff is kind of what like here's the fibbler in the cartoon he's just wearing a domino mask and has like green hair boring video game cut scene the bad one too there was a video game also that looks like oh right oh cool um the the animation in the cartoon reminds me uh i try to explain this recently i think on the show but it reminds me of this like stuff this is probably ancient history on the internet this is just chickens walking into like a waterfall and then this was all um like six or seven years ago it starts to pop off in a second thank god and then they come out as crocodiles and techno music plays i've never seen this Six or seven years ago. It starts to pop off in a second. Thank God.

And then they come out as crocodiles and techno music plays. I've never seen this. This is so this would play to my toddler to this day. Well, since got the link. Yeah. Well, this was a thing a few years ago. Someone found like there were all of these just warehouses full of people with computers just generating weird cgi cartoon or where it's like cartoons where like a cg shrek and a spider-man would switch bottom halves oh i've seen stuff i've seen stuff like that it was all just gaming the uh youtube ad revenue it was all gaming uh

like ad revenues and algorithms and stuff yeah and it was just people being paid pennies on the dollar to like generate this stuff that is the aesthetic of the bible man cartoon and that's uh look there's an excuse if it's made by bots but yeah i what what did the what did the bible man folks have the episode i watched was about like a father and son going to like uh visit another son in a juvenile detention center and then the doubter i think is the villain's name like he makes them all forget their bibles and bible man and cypher don't know they're like why do you all seem so out of it and And then they save the day, and the kid saves the day. But it's also like saying some weird,

had some weird lines about Juvie, and it's just like, this is kind of a bummer. Well, Bible Man found time to be a bummer, I think. A lot of the time. That reminded me of my favorite episode description which is that there's one where the story is that um a kid is going to make a comic book of bible man and he's he's licensed this like like a real publisher is going to do it and bible man is overseeing the art of his own comic book and he keeps giving the note that he looks too good and

exciting which distracts from the real point which is god right right so the better you make me look there's very bible man notes down a bible man waters down comic art there's very confusing stuff uh there's multiple episodes i feel like about like anger like furiosa like don't give in to your anger and it's like okay well how do you teach that kid to deal with anger deal with the negative emotion stuff read your bible and it's like god damn it like what are you doing oh gd damn it they don't even like that and G, apostrophe, D. They don't. An apostrophe is just a false O.

So we object to it not due to the censorship, but because it's lying. It's lying. All apostrophes are liars. If you use a hyphen, too, don't use a hyphen instead of an O. All the weird symbols, the hashtag and the hat symbol. Godless symbols. Impostors. Every bit as big of an imposter as fibbler himself they they hate the comic strips where like snoopy stubs his toe and jumps up and

it's just a bunch of punctuation marks and a word below yeah they hate that yeah snoopy should have calmed down said a brief prayer and then fetched his Bible. This here is a screen grab. This is a preview image on the Scraping the Sultan Singing Stickers of Selfishness episode. That is a kid with a weird head. Like, I don't even know what. No, that show, I tried to watch that cartoon. It's awful.

It sucks. It's unwatchable. It's no live action bible man which again to reiterate is one of the worst series ever produced interesting and unexciting uh bible you can get bible man mini figures like lego knockoff figures which kind of i'm tempted to get like you because it's a i don't know if you've seen these uh they're like blind bags they'll have like muppet legos and batman when the batman uh lego movie came out and it's like you don't know what's in it because it's called a blind bag

but that's the same they're doing this here and it's it's certainly not lego making the bible man but they look exactly like uh lego and you can get bible man bible girl cypher melody baroness crusher dr feel luxor spondroth Master of Mean The Ronin of Wrong Or the Mayor of Maybe So And then there is one Chase figure That they don't say

And it's just got a question mark So that could be a Mayor of Maybe What the hell is that Do they not like maybe Maybe is indecisive Maybe is non-committal You either commit your heart

To Christ Or you don't And every time You're indecisive About everything It reminds you You you're indecisive about everything, it reminds you you can be indecisive about your heart as well. So we don't, maybe is a filthy word. Parasource, I'm on the parasource.com website,

which is serving Canada's Christian community. They're the ones selling the Bible, man. I'm going to see if I can find a coupon code. Yeah. And get us one of these. Well, I would say whatever, even with a discount, even if you only end up paying like $3 $4.53 just make sure you give the 453 also to a cause that bible man and all these people would hate oh yeah yeah yeah just which

is you know it could be certainly something drag affiliated at the moment yeah but by bible man standards you could just send it to the webster people send it to the makers of those evil dictionaries right yeah dear warner brothers this is to help you out i'm sorry for these mini figs i bought buy a safe that's buy a safe so your child doesn't get anywhere near some of the stuff we've acquired for this show. And that's like the Trump playing cards you gave me, the cursed. Oh, yeah. The most cursed thing I find every three months.

And I go, ah! Like, when I find the cards, you got these, like, what do they call it when they punch a hole through them? The casino card. Like, casinos used to a lot more. Dead decks or something like that. Dead decks, yeah. They would sell it, like like in the souvenir shop when we did casino implosions episode jason got us trump casino

playing cards and i find him every three months and i go ah like as if i found like a demon and a demon in my drawer i think i gave some maybe i gave eva or maybe i lost the auction for like the button that says it's liza like liza minnelli opening our one person show for a week at trump plaza okay wow well say what you want about mr trump but he's never indecisive when he was president of america he was no mayor of maybe well yeah yeah we can agree on that um what the fuck else about bible man i mean that's that's plenty yeah i'm worn down listener if you're curious to check out more bible man don't it will uh make you so sleepy

this was here's two things that happened in my prep for this episode one uh uh aaron at some point was like we're supposed to go out later and we're deciding who was going to drive and she's like i feel like maybe i should drive because you look really tired like you you clearly are tired as shit and i had gotten plenty of sleep the night before and i was like i think you're right it's a bible man watching all this bible man is doing it to me and then i immediately went and took a really hard nap the hardest nap uh and then this morning i had a little bit i said like i gotta go i have to do a little bit more uh bible man she and by then she's like you have to make me a promise that you will not watch any more clips of this show i don't like who it's turning you into i think your brain is not as sharp so she would probably pass along the same message to

you the listener uh we look we like your sharp minds out there we got good listeners and it'll only it'll only dull your blades to be much less sharp than the the blades of the sword of the so see look i couldn't remember the name of it that's how bad my mind is now is that salvation it was i think it was spirit the sort of no is the breast the sound no it was the the the cufflinks of salvation um it was the the the brass knuckles of fortitude it was the pinky ring of remembering christ died for your sins wow uh do you feel the same recommend bible man i well i'll speeding of exhaust i've been tired just in general but today is the by far i've been the most tired doing the show and i've been like

out of sorts i was really late to the last record because i'm so out of it i feel worse today well wow and i think it has something to do with bible man geez well seems like a good reason to and well but well is it bible man doing it to us are we all just giving in to the the lizard of laziness oh the sultan of sloth very good point something to consider whenever you're not being your greatest self keep it might be the villain breathing smoke into your ears yeah it might be a villain and don't get to the bottom of it and don't don't learn uh don't unlearn better yourself therapy no history no it's uh serving the church and not your community or your fellow man yeah yeah if you're out there and you're feeling depressed and you think the answer is a history book i got lost there's there's there's

a better book you need to read and a better multi-part superhero series that you need to watch absolutely if you're thinking i should get outside i should get some fresh air i should touch some grass no no touch your bible no no well on that note you survived podcast the ride another very pious good Good Friday. Have a great Easter weekend. Everybody. You can find us, uh, you know, ultimately we should promote God and not commit the sin of self-promotion, but we still will say you can find us on the socials at podcast.

The ride merch is available on our T public store, but you know, by a shirt with a cross on it first. Uh, and for three bonus episodes every month, check out podcast, the ride, the second gate, or get one more

bonus episode on our VIP tier Club 3. You'll find all of that at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. Now we got to, geez, we should wrap

this up because we haven't even started rehearsing for the big youth group show. That's true. You're right. Thank God. Well, now.

All right, here we go. And a one and a two and a three and a four The character's name was Zeratel Oh it was a right Zeratel I'm glad you didn't commit the sin of forgetfulness

Zeratel Forever Dog This has been a Forever Dog production Executive produced by Mike Carlson Jason Sheridan Scott Gairdner Brett Boehm

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