Podcast: The Ride - Body Wars

Episode Date: May 14, 2021

Shrink down with us as we discuss this long closed Epcot simulator brought to you by your friends at MetLife. Hercules and Xena: Wizards of the Screen episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever. Dog. Warning, the following podcast may contain 80s health food, blood and space, extremely important science lessons, and the return of an old friend named Topsy. It's Body Wars on today's podcast, The Ride, the theme park podcast hosted by three vaccinated men in their 30s. We can officially say I'm Scott Gairdner, joined in person by Jason Sheridan. Yes, that's right. Yes, indeed.

And Mike Carlson. Unless somebody was lying, then I think we're all set. That would be messed up if we were lying. Why is it? Why? I just want to give somebody COVID. then I think we're all set. That would be messed up if we were lying. And why is it true? And why, I guess. I just want to give somebody COVID, and a two-hour podcast is the most clear-cut way. That would be really odd,

especially if I was going to give someone. Man, what a nefarious plot. You would really have to rethink who I was or Jason was if that was actually what we were doing. I think so. There's trust here. There's certainly trust. I trust both of you not to give me a virus on purpose.

I will say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Accidents, who knows? Accidents, who knows? But yeah, I do trust you to do that. Not just COVID either. Any. I'm not, like, there's no virus on a list that I would like to give any of you.

Like, yeah. I mean, if there's ever like an Islands of Adventure flu or something that happens and Jason catches it, like, he would only give it to me accidentally. I don't think he would do it on purpose. He certainly gets

Islands of Adventure fever every time he goes down to Islands of Adventure. I'm so excited to live the adventure. Yeah. Just hearing me say it, I think you,

if I had a thermometer, like an old school, like... And it's shocking to me you don't have the gun, the thermometer gun that everyone's been pointing at our foreheads for 14 months. I just saw an ad for one. Lindsay actually has one, and I wonder if I should just have it with me at all times to take a stranger's temperatures

just for fun. Like at a restaurant or somewhere and you do it, like you walk into a bar or a bank and scan the person as opposed to them scanning you. Although at a bank, maybe they would think I was robbing it with the temperature gun. Oh, yeah, yeah. Probably best to not have anything resembling a gun. I slip a note to the teller.

I have a temperature gun in my bag and I'm going to take your temperature. I'm not afraid to use it because i'm very afraid of getting covid i am not i want to make this clear i'm not robbing you i'm just going to quietly take your temperature i just want to know everyone in here has a normal around 98.6 temperature um vaccinated we are we did it yeah and not only that but but it's we're past the well let's invoke the phrase that was invented on the second gate which is after second shot or ass we are two we're two weeks assed yes so now we can we can do this we're back in person we're back in the yard still yard yeah i was gonna say we're stepping it but it's a it's a phased reopening. Yeah. Use theme park parlance.

Did you guys see on our Reddit? Someone did what we asked and got the vaccine while wearing a Potanica shirt. Oh, wait, I was tagged in something. Or was that all on Reddit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. User Ribbit King 17 here is getting his vaccine uh with the potanicus shirt on damn and uh very funny if you don't know what we're talking about uh one of our original characters is a version of et's teacher from the green planet who's appears on the et right universal botanic botanicus is hisus is the real character's name. And our version is called Pot-Tan-A-Kush because he loves getting high. He's a real... It's like a shady bootleg Bart.

Yes. Version. And, wow, I don't remember why we asked for it. I barely remember that we asked for it. But he remembered. That's the important thing. Yeah, yeah. He did it. He followed the

assignment. I hope it was great. I hope it made the experience better for him in some intangible way. Yeah, I don't know where this gentleman lives. If it was at Magic Mountain, I think he would have probably pointed it out, because that would have been the ultimate Magic Mountain and the Potanica shirt. Yeah.

Yeah, right. Hey, this, you know, it's a sad time, as much as it's a sad time as much as it's great that things are reopening. It is sad that all of the theme park parking lot vaccination sites are closing. Yes. We didn't get to experience, I'd say, any of them. Yeah, I just

ended up, you know, doing it as like a medical facility. A place. Yeah, sorry. We all, we bombed on the content front. We didn't do it at silly places typically. Yeah, it seemed important to do. So maybe just do it at the place you can get one. Also, I'm not sure it was, it just would have been like,

oh, there's a roller coaster in my rear view and my arm hurts a little. Yeah, it wasn't like on the lift hill. There was like a Valencia teen with a syringe. And he jabbed you. And then on the way down, you'd be like, I'm vaccinated. And you have to wait 15 minutes. So they just keep running a ride. You have to keep going on Viper over and over.

I had the very L.A. experience of like after I got in the 15 minute waiting room. They're like, would you like a vos water and they were giving out giant canisters the big tubes of vos water and i was like la baby nothing like it yeah did you pocket some for home for later um i i uh i drank it um and it did not help me getting fucking hosed by the side of getting fucking wrecked out by the second shot. Yeah. Yeah. This lined up pretty much as you would expect within the podcast, the ride world that I

don't really know. But Mike seems like you were pretty okay. I was pretty okay. Jason knocked on his ass. I was, I didn't feel great after the first one, but it was by the next morning. It was fine. But the second one, it was like, but still preferable to the virus. I'd say so.

Yeah. Don't use that as an excuse. Yeah. Go get vaccinated. The first one was fine. I didn't feel anything. The second shot, I will say, I, very tired for the first half of the day after I got it. And then, like, at night, I was still tired, but I played video games.

Like, it was fine. I wasn't, like, I could have done something if I had to, but, you know. I felt fine. I kept turning all kinds of different shades and colors and stripes, like a Heffalumps and Weasels montage. I was going to say, like a Heffalumps and Weasels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was sort of akin to that. I'd look in the mirror one second, and I have bright red spots.

Right. And then big yellow stripes. And then just like half black, half white right down the middle. But besides that, I mean, that was, and that's cool. That's fun, yeah. It was and that's cool that's fun yeah it was trippy that's good yeah so jason was uh incapacitated although was there something you had done on the same day as the Pfizer Pfizer right yeah um there wasn't like a activity i don't know a laundry of some kind oh no no i should have hydrated more i knew i was just like uh but i

didn't want to get caught in like the drive-through like vaccine like get stuck there and go like there is nowhere to use a bathroom you know yeah so i was like weighing my options so i guess i don't know that's what a lot of people people who are like pounding water in the days leading up to it, seem to be doing very well. But go, yeah, if you're out there and you're hesitant, get it. Get the vaccine. With us as an example, look what you get to do. Talk about an old Epcot ride, but not on Zoom. Right.

This is the kinds of dreams you'll be living. I assume. What is the kinds of dreams you'll be living if you... I assume... What is the percentage? What possibly... It could literally be like one listener. Oh, who hasn't... Maybe. I don't know.

I think there's still... I think a lot of folks are just like maybe like, oh, is it open yet? Okay, I'll go get it. Like, you know. It's not militia. It's not like some backwards point of view. It's just like, yeah, I'll get around to it. So I think, yeah, you probably can get it now. Go get it. Why not?

Yeah, there's a few people I've talked to who are like, yeah, I just got mine last, like the first one, like two days ago. And I'm like, oh, okay, you just got around to it, huh? All right. There's some of that. Yeah, yeah. Well, because not everybody's like us, applying Galaxy's Edge opening morning logic of like, well, we need to be stalking this. We need to be on a complicated website. We need to have some satisfaction from getting it done very slightly earlier than other people. I mean, also, let's say, you know, California had like, you know, you know, was really rationing it and then just opened the doors and you can

just get it at like uh burger king now um but the other states have had rockier rollouts and yeah that's true and depending on where you where you live and everything yeah yeah you know they're they're not all as like uh put together as a uh miniaturized exploration technologies organization, the fictional company and organization in today's show. And that brings up, that might be a good future of fake Final Four, is fake acronyms for fake organizations within the art. Oh, absolutely. Web, Worldwide Engineering Brigade, the upcoming Spider-Man. This was reminding me of web.

I know, as we enter the era of web let's flash back to their era of of met met yeah which is off of met life the sponsor that that almost didn't occur to me yes i think i started to dislike it more when i put that together i think i was like oh man that's pretty good yeah it's pretty clean and i was like oh met yeah yeah yeah much more eye rolly when you realize why they why they did it um yeah hey you know what this is a topic i feel like we were saving for this moment when we're when we're back open for business we're back in person because we we won the body war the three of us did we're the world's starting to win it. Some of the world.

COVID's over. It's done. There's no more COVID. And we won the body war. We're as victorious as Dr. Cynthia Lair. Right. Well, we certainly all feel like Dr. Cynthia Lair right now. I do like to think of the Moderna going through my bloodstream like a little vehicle of some kind.

Like a violent white blood cell yeah attacking elizabeth's shoe at like the height of her like powers right a real run of hits i just started watching the boys and i would argue uh elizabeth's shoe still at the height of her power i think she's really great on that show done that yet yeah. But this is like yeah I was looking in the filmography how right before the two credits before on IMDb are Adventures in Babysitting and Cocktail and then right

after is Back to the Future 2 and 3. Thankless role in 2 and 3? I'd say so but it's still cool. She looks cool. She's in a cool vest. Cocktail is a pretty ridiculous movie but I had a really fun time watching it. She's in a cool vest. Cocktail is a pretty ridiculous movie, but I had a really fun time watching it. That's all great to me.

And then this ride, which is, you know, it's weird, but it's still great. On her end, it is an awesome body of work of weird stuff. Tim Matheson in it, too. Yeah, yeah. So both her and Matheson, and, of course, director Leonard Nimoy. That's a big get

coming off of directing the hit Three Men and a Baby, the Touchstone film. Yeah. Which I believe is how they were able to, I forget, it's not in the Disney War book.

It might have been on a Disney Dish episode where they were like, oh, they were able to lasso him into doing this because they already had him around. Like they were like, like hey what else you want to do three man baby big hit what else you want to do it's so uh it's so star trekky and it's you know crew and the way they speak on the thing so they're like well this guy this guy and he's probably he had two of the

star trek movies under his belt including the whale whale one. He did three and four. Yeah, three is fine. Four is good. Yeah. You've seen the whale one? Yeah, that's the only one I've seen. Is that true? You've only seen one Star Trek movie

and it's the whale one? Yeah, yeah. That's off of my wife Erin's POV. She's like, I don't know anything about any of Star Trek. I just liked the San Francisco 80s whale movie. To her, it's like these are all new characters who never returned or did anything before.

It is good. I haven't watched it in a little while. The original Star Trek movies, it's like 2, 4, and 6 are good. 1 is fine, but boring. 3 is fine, and 5 is the one that Shatner directed, and it's awful. It is awful. It's by far the worst one but it does start out with the three main guys with with bone spock and kirk

all like vacationing in like a national park together and i forget who i think it's kirk falls off a mountain and then like somebody has like wrote like uh rocket shoes that shoots up. I think it's Nimoy and catches him and it looks real bad. The whole thing is, it's worth a watch certainly. But I think all of them are worth a watch. I'm a big fan of all those movies. I think the only one I have seen is the first J.J. Abrams. Really? Yeah.

I used to watch the original Star Trek in syndication a lot. And then I have watched pieces of Next Generation. And then I guess random episodes of DS9 and Enterprise. And yeah, I don't know if I've ever sat down and watched one of the movies all the way through. These are not regarded as like, you're not exactly seeing lists say the top hundred films of all time. Wrath of Khan makes a list once in a while. Wrath of Khan does make lists like that. There's the 90s ones that for sure got a lot of ads in comic books.

So it is surprising. Oh yeah. My beloved Star Trek Generations where Captain Kirk meets Captain Picard and they are, they go horse racing, or like horse riding together. I think as a kid, I was like, oh, I get that. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

It's a very goofy movie, but I've watched that a million times. Anyway, this is not a Star Trek podcast, but it is exciting. There's a Star Trek guy, one of the major people is behind the camera of simulator footage. I have one more thing about him, which is then I was like, what else is, because that's a pretty strong run. Three Minute Baby, big hit.

Star Trek movie's very visible and he's taking the reins of his own franchise. Disney ride, cool. And what did he do after? And then it was kind of like a, there's a Gene Wilder movie that didn't do very well. There's a Diane Keaton movie

that didn't do very well. And then a movie I've never, ever heard of in my life. And I think the glare outdoors will make it difficult to show you this, but I'll just describe it. There's a poster for a movie called Holy Matrimony. Does anyone know Holy Matrimony? That's familiar.

Patricia Arquette is in, like, you know, shorts and a denim shirt, and a bridal, and so she's getting married, but the, but the, her, her beau, the person she's marrying is a young Joseph Gordon Levitt,

like a very young, right around angels in the outfield looking at the camera like, huh? And he's, it's not Amish, but it's like a similar, very like strict. Oh,

Mennonite? No, still not Mennonite. Okay. What is the word? Quakers? Hutterite is what it is. She's like a schemer, and she ends up having a,

her husband dies, and it's the older brother of kid Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and they have to get married, and they kiss in it, apparently. Yeah. If you can imagine if all of these details if you're not surprised that these did not propel the box office above one million dollars and I think

the Nimoy directing career kind of sputtered out after Holy Matrimony. I mean there's nothing else there's no other movie after 94. That just is the end. Yeah. But he released a number of photo books I believe he was an avid photographer he was a photographer he had many like showings gallery showings yeah the last directing credit he has is another thing we that comes up on podcasts are at a lot it is a tv episode of the tv show

deadly games the show that christopher lloyd plays sebastian jackal i was staring right at it probably on the day that we recorded an episode where we talked about Sebastian Jackal again. And somehow the phrase deadly games is so undistinct it didn't even jump out of the website at me. Sebastian Jackal, yes. Wow. So, yeah.

We're going to have to, that's all going to have to culminate in something at some point. We're going to have to watch some of this show or discuss it. And maybe that'll be, that will be to us as a holy matrimony was to Nimoy's directing career. That's where it all, it all takes a nose dive. Yes. Uh,

I hope, or, or what we just find like a really great lost thing, you know? Yeah. There could be a real, a real gem in there. Well,

we'll go digging. We'll go piloting our ship around episodes of Deadly Game. But the basics of this that we haven't said, this is Epcot. Epcot 1989 opening day. Not opening day attraction for Epcot, but opening day for the Wonders of Life Pavilion. We have discussed several other things in this pavilion. We've discussed Cranium Command. We recently unpleasantly discussed the making

of me on the second gate. I was trying to find if there were TV ads for Body Wars and there's ones that kind of split the they say it's the Wonders of Life Pavilion where this happens and one of them is saying there's this ride where you get miniaturized and go into the human body.

But the other one was watch a human birth every 20 minutes. And then it's the footage that we discussed of like the pretty realistic right out of the womb baby. And then it cuts to a little girl watching it like, hoor like thrilled smiling her biggest disney world smile and this is how they advertise the wonders of life pavilion when it opened in 89 well this is what i remember if you can see this image yes within every brochure disney uh magazine disney adventures like and it is very similar to the one they would use for star tours which use the same simulator technology and open two months later and this is yours it's like yeah very similar where it's the ship and you see through the uh the windshield and the but in this case the ship

is being piloted through a bloodstream yes and there's big bulbous uh blood cells that the ship's avoiding my personal memories of this i like this ride a lot like i was always excited for this uh i mean star tours has wrecks and my family loved mgm studios so obviously had the lead on that front but body wars had that allure of being nowhere it was one of those theme park things. You couldn't see it anywhere else. You know, you couldn't rent it at the video store. So I think I was always excited to go to the Wonders of Life Pavilion and do that. And Cranium Command.

I also have a very clear memory of eating at the restaurant, the counter service restaurant which i i did oh i can't find the name of it i don't know the name of that offhand i i found it online i'll look it up was it like it was healthier food because this was a health pavilion in theory an 80s version of it 90s and 80s version of healthy food yeah so i i found the rough descriptions of the menu when it closed that healthy restaurant had uh was resorting to hot dogs and potato chips when it opened it was you know healthy things like wraps and caesar salads and bran waffles my memory is eating a bagel with cream cheese that you could then customize at a station where you could put bananas and

strawberries on it oh okay that's uh well it's a little like carb heavy and fat it's like oh by the way the bananas and strawberries are sitting in simple syrup so it's like pie filling so health enjoy your health uh bagel cream cheese with pie filling on top bagel yes all the healthiest components yeah it's very healthy goo that this fruit has been marinating wow yeah like that's still we've talked about this before like when you were like this uh big bowl of iceberg lettuce i'm eating is very healthy this is good for me yeah it's got blue cheese smothered on it but But yes. Mmm. Iceberg lettuce. Well, and mixed with like, you know, we're going to have to get into like the bizarre.

Like if we could just find like a lot of menus from 1971 when Disney World opened, like what the fancy dinners were across Disney World. Oh, yeah. There's a cookbook, I think. You can find scans of online. I think there's a cookbook, I think. You can find scans of online. I think there's a cookbook. And, man, if you like chicken a la king, this is your vacation destination. If you like chicken and various cream sauces

and a little cup of brandy to sip on, you're set, man. Every restaurant had that, you think? I think so. The name of the restaurant in Wonders of Life was called pure and simple and i don't know that it was either it had bran waffles that's what that means uh ice cold wrap ice cold damp wrap is probably what they should have called it wraps are damp i know that

like squishy what Yeah, boy. I'm so glad. I don't even like looking at them. Like a cut up wrap. If you determine that's the catering for something you're at or the meal on a shoot or something, it's such a like shot to the morale. Oh, no. If you can get it made and watch them slice it and hand it to you and get it done in 10 minutes, delicious.

But on a platter or like in a box at the airport? No, awful. They had times ahead. Togos, like wrap. I remember eating that a lot. I think we've talked about wraps before. We were fooled by wraps. Tricked.

Tricked by wraps. Tricked by wraps. We've been eating awful food for years. Yeah, just get the bread. I don't know. Like, I guess. Just eat been eating awful food for years. Yeah, just get the bread. I don't know. Like, I guess. Just eat a club sandwich at that point. Yeah.

Or, yeah, or just, like, get a real, go get some real food. Like, just get protein and some vegetables. Yeah, yeah. I, yeah, I think I must have went when there were, when they switched to hot dogs. And I think I thought, oh, is it, like, somehow, like, a healthier hot dog?

And now looking back, like, no, I think it was not. I think that is just to hot dogs. And I think I thought, Oh, is it like somehow like a healthier hot dog? And now looking back, like, no, I think it was not. I think that is just a hot dog. No, this pavilion is open seasonally.

If you're, if at all. So yeah, mostly, mostly not, uh, these days. Um,

and so I, I think something to underline that, that you said already, if people don't know this ride and some people might not know this ride. So it is, you are miniaturized in a little ship. You take a trip through the bloodstream. You're supposed to just see something just beneath the skin. And then you wander all around the body.

Things go haywire, and you go everywhere in the body. And that's the vague plot of the ride. Sounds cool, right? and it was cool i i like some components of this for sure but the big thing is that it is star tours it is completely star tours the format is the same the line is the same where you see videos uh pre-ride videos are the same and those are the same videos and then you get into the same cabin it's the same molding the thing comes down are the same videos, and then you get into the same cabin. It's the same molding. The thing comes down at the same time. There's a monitor over on the right, and sometimes there's a guy on it,

and sometimes there's some text on a smaller monitor. There's warps. The moves all feel similar. And just as a timeline, the original Star Tours Disneyland opens 87. This is up in in 89 and then as jason said two months later real star tours opens down the street at disney mgm studios yes i feel like they would never like muck things up like that today where like two like the same like like and they didn't even like do a paint job that would trick you it just is exactly like you walk in oh i see it's star tours and they open two months apart

yeah it like when um they open uh star tours the adventure continues they on the same day uh they open that in disneyland over in california adventure they opened the little mermaid ride very different experiences yeah so but so not the same uh so they've opened different attractions and different parks simultaneously or within a few days or weeks of each other but yeah exactly the same like the same technology is weird with like characters around like with r2d2 and c3po hanging out in the line it's weird like With, like, characters around. Like, with R2-D2 and C-3PO hanging out in the line. It's weird. Like, when they did, when Transformers came to Hollywood and Universal, I remember thinking, oh, it's the same exact ride system.

But now that I'm remembering this, it's not nearly as egregious. Because you get in the vehicle, you're like, oh, it's exactly Spider-Man. It's exactly the same thing. But then you're like, oh, it's exactly Spider-Man. It's exactly the same thing. But then you're like, it's just different disorienting videos. Yeah, and they didn't have a Spider-Man kind of thing out here. Right. I mean, eventually they put Transformers in. So I would think if you were in Florida, you're like, oh, it's kind of the same ride.

But it's varied enough and you see so much different imagery that it's like, whatever, it's fine. It doesn't even feel as egregious as indiana jones and dinosaur no which we've determined it's very well hidden the fact that it is the same track layout and the kind of the same moves throughout but you just go i see they used a vehicle inspired by it's like in the family of indiana jones as opposed to there's something about walking in a room and it's the same room. It's that's just feels lazy or something. Yeah, it does.

It's like I would think they would have dressed up because like you look at the ceiling on it. And as a kid, I don't it didn't register with me. I didn't care, I guess. But when you look at the videos now and I go, yeah, it's the same exact thing where it's like mimicking like sitting in an airplane and it's got the air vent things that you can't touch or whatever. Or the light, you know, the lights and the air vents that you would have over you, whatever you call them on a plane. But it's like when they just like change that, like when they change something about the cabin to make it look different.

Because in Star Tours, it is like an equivalent of a flight. Yeah, right. But this is only framed to us as you're on a mission you're going into skin right you're going in so like i i don't expect to have like a button i can press for a uh a flight attendant yeah or like a button you would press to read a book in there you're on a mission we're on doing something very important like i don't know why it would just be you would change the ceiling or something. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I think this, like so many Epcot attractions, the story is, okay, we started really big and we scaled back to what was feasible and what was affordable and what the sponsor would fork up money to although i have to say unlike some of the other like older epcot attractions that we've covered before the thing that's surprised me about this is reading across multiple websites multiple videos about this attraction the narrative everyone agrees it's exactly this there's no like horizons is so many different like oh and then they thought about this and they thought about this living seas has a has a lot of, like, well, they considered this, and someone else hones in on this. This is just like, okay, it was this, this, you know, this is why it was closed, and this is why this happened.

Like, I was shocked at, like, how. Because the narrative is never the same. If you try to look up how many people does Disneyland hold, hold you will find uh like 20 different blogs with 20 different answers you know or rides are always accused of like well that closed because it like you know jerked seven people into the sky and they never came down yeah or the or the ride fell into a hole people are always trying to find some reason. There's legends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of things. But this is not so legendary, is what you're saying, maybe. Yeah, pretty cut and dry. It was a little too out of the way. Sponsor dropped out a few years before. And, yeah, I don't know. We're just not feeling it. It's just not worth it.

Laziness. Oh. Not wanting to put a human being over there is why they didn't keep it open and the big thing that kept coming up which i had no idea this is something everyone agreed on about this ride it made people queasy yeah yeah okay i i have i fall into the stereotype on that maybe i liked aspects of this i remember looking forward to it a lot whenever i went on it but but like i'm sure the last time i went on it i i felt it even though it is so similar to star tours which i've never had a problem with there's something about well it's it's the blood component i think

that you're in blood you know where it happens for me and we'll we'll step through what happens in the ride but you like you know you start in a general bloodstream and then you end up in different body parts and you end up in the lungs the something about seeing like i like there's the just the like icky ethereal it all like just looks like you know it's various goos that you're that you're floating in and it's a little creepy and then like the the uh the tissue opening and closing of the lung and then mixed with, there's not like score in this that's fun. You're just hearing gasping and that freaks me out.

That's interesting. That's interesting. I'm trying to think, my friend, his whole life, he would in health class, like if there was blood talk or certain things like that, he would feel very lightheaded. Once in a while would pass out. Were we about it did we we were like aha you're gonna pass out probably probably probably we were mean i will say that uh that's certainly the nature sometimes of growing up i was people were mean to me about things too but anyway uh so i would see

that and i remember that like the blood stuff wouldn't really make me lightheaded. But anytime we were in health class and I apologize, this is very, this is body. This is going to be body talk. There were diagrams of what a circumcision look like. And I remember feeling like I might pass out. So I feel like everyone has their own level of like the realities of like the body and certain things. Like being reminded that you're like a machine it can't everyone's got a different thing probably that makes them go oh god oh god now the circumcision

is like cutting so i get that but like you know i that makes sense to me but i actually hadn't even thought of it because i never had that reaction to the ride when i was on it yeah well i think too the the detail that kept coming up, again, same details kept coming up, but that an Imagineer went in with a joystick and programmed two moments in the footage of like, okay, and in this point, you're kind of floating in the bloodstream, so the ride's gonna be rocking a little.

And this point, yeah, the lungs are like breath in, breath out. So the ride will be like going back and forth and i was like oh yeah it did kind of do that in a way that star tours did not you know it's i mean years later they would sort of simulate breath of course on flight of passage the avatar ride where you feel the great beast breathe between your legs, which you pointed out. I might've missed it. Yeah, no,

I'm just saying. So like, yes, that's interesting. Cause I think as a kid, I don't, I don't have a strong memory of that, but watching it again, I'm like,

Oh yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Uh, that you can feel like lungs breathing and that's gotta be, that's both cool. And it is a little unnerving. It is a little unnerving.

And that the, the probably, I'm sure some people, it helped that the footage is, you know, so CG and abstract and then other people, it's just like, I am in blood.

I am in the lungs. I am in blood. This is weird. Yeah, it is weird. I mean, I, yeah, that is interesting. I'm trying to remember if I was scared of this

because I was scared so much. But this ride, more than even like Horizons and almost any, like other than Spaceship Earth, I remember this ride and I like this ride a lot. Yeah. For whatever reason, I enjoyed being in the blood. I enjoyed flying through blood, I guess. Sure. I think I just simplified it. It's like, oh, at MGM Studios, the simulator is Star Tours.

At Epcot, it's Body Wars. And we'll do one day, one the other day. I like it in the themes. I like flying through space. I like flying through blood. Both equally good. Everyone's dreams. I like the armrests, and I like the way the doors open.

Yeah, yes. Yeah, I know. You bring up a good point. I don't know if we talked with Star Tours before. I do just nestleling my hands in there. Hopefully soon. I think I'll be there soon and I'll really dig them in. It'll feel good to feel those things again.

Those little lips. But yeah, I don't think I have the squeamishness. And maybe it's like the blood. When you're in the blood and you're looking at the splinter, I don't feel anything. I think the lungs creep me out. In the lungs, I guess you're not even in, there just isn't fluid. Like, the lungs are just, it's just, like, weird. It feels, like, gassy or a little, like, it's just, it's hazy in the lungs.

Whatever's going on in there is just a room i do not want to experience yeah well the body is horrifying i mean it's horrifying it's worse than any cronenberg movie or any body horror movie it's like when you watch any videos of surgery or anything you really it just feels like an like an alien and it feels really bizarre yeah i don't like thinking about everything that's in here. Yeah, and it's weird too when you have a kid when you start, you go like, he was not around. He didn't exist.

And there's a heart and we made the heart. This heart exists because we... How did you do that? It doesn't make any sense. It's a trip, man. I'll tell ya. You're just staring at him like, you have a liver. Where'd that even come from? It's a trip, man. I'll tell you. You're just staring at him like you have a liver. Like, where'd that even come from? Yeah.

It's like, what were you guys smoking before you even did that? Like, it's crazy. Yeah. So you have like three nostrils. That's so weird. Do other babies not have three nostrils? Is that very uncommon? Yeah.

He's got like a monsterism. He's got a problem. Tryism he's got we got a problem trying not to talk about it uh yeah it's so i would imagine that like i would i would be interested to know like are are the only people that would go on it and be fine like doctors would doctor a whole car full of doctors be fine on it because they were used to seeing stuff like this and i kind of get like the the examples that um like uh theme park tourist or or uh mouse planet i think had big write-ups about this right they were like okay well there was this movie fantastic voyage that was a big hit and that was about being shrinking a ship down and going in the bloodstream. Adventures into inner space.

Adventures through inner space. I'm messing it up off the cuff. I was just thinking how I get, I think whatever I thought it was is not what it is. Yeah, and there is a movie called Inner Space 2. But like those well-received like concepts people can wrap their head around. Adventures through inner space Disneyland. Yes. Okay. Wait, I think is it plural or is it i think it might be adventure singular and that is what i was getting oh yeah you're right no it is adventure yeah through inner space yeah yeah i think i've

people can make my whole life and i regret it very much i i am working on learning the pixar bar that used to be the cove bar is called the lamplight lounge not lamplighter not lamplighter i do that one too even though disney has had multiple movies featuring lamplighter characters and you know disney lamplight jack the lamplighter from mary poppins return that's right yes that's what he is he's a lamplighter he's not a chimney sweep he's a lamplighter yeah see his costume at the bowers Museum, Southern California, till the end of June. Jack's lamplighter costume? Jack's lamplighter costume.

Well, it's a Disney archive. I think it was an exhibit they've either had for a while or they had to push for a while, but it's got Dick Tracy's coat. It's got a Rex. Carly was just there. I just saw that in her feed. Yeah. I didn't know there was a Rex.

And the lamplighter. What am I doing here it's time to go yeah and the lamplight and so his name and his name is Jack not fake Bert

no he's not he's not called fake Bert Mary Poppins doesn't keep calling him fake Bert within scenes is that so fake Bert

no I think I mean maybe that was early in the early in the shoot but then they changed it Meryl Streep's character though is called what is this? What's going on?

You know Meryl Streep's character's name. Her name is Topsy. Yeah, we had all Topsy run. Yeah, it's Topsy. Jason loves Topsy. I don't think Jason laughs harder than when I say the word Topsy. I think it's that you're saying Topsy and you add it fast. Topsy, yeah. She's turning turtle, her name is Topsy

What? I'm just saying things that happen in the movie You're laughing Topsy It's just the wonderful tales that Rob Marshall spins Just make me smile It's when stuff gets turned on its head You say you're turning turtle

So for the future part of this episode if i like take a like a normal convention and i turn it on its head you can tell me i'm turning turtle i i say each other out well if i'm starting an exciting new business venture i say i'm turning turtle yeah if you're trying to disrupt like say you're gonna do a rap business and you're gonna disrupt the normal rap business like you're going to disrupt the normal rap business. Like, say you've got Saigon on, you've got his phone number. You've got a relationship with him. With who?

Isn't that character in Entourage? Isn't that the rapper? Oh, yeah. Saigon? Yes. Thank you. Now, I will say I did not have that reference right away. You have Topsy.

I have Saigon. But you're right, that is a character on Entourage. That is correct. Scott looks confused. Yeah, I did get lost in there. Jason pulled, like, the 30th most popular Entourage character out. Turning Turtle. Turtle had a lot of failed business ventures.

Yeah, I get it. If anybody gets cast, is lucky enough to get cast in an Entourage reboot, then you might be Turning Turtle., then you might be turning turtle. Yes, you might be turning turtle. We've got the best break of our careers. We'd be turning turtle. I keep getting emails from Jerry Farrar. Is that the gentleman's name who played turtle?

His restaurant, Fat Sal's. Fat Sal's. I keep getting coupons for it. But I haven't been down there in many years actually. So yeah. Unused coupons. Unused. What a tale.

I'll eat Jason. I'll turn my head turtle. A restaurant. Uh, I don't think I've ever patronized before midnight. So I don't know that I'm remembering the coupon. I mean, maybe I'm remembering the coupon.

I don't know that others are remembering. It's like one of those places where they put fries on a ham on the hamburger. It's like, they'll load up. It's a, it's excessive. It's like one of those places where they put fries on the hamburger. It's like they'll load up. It's excessive. That defies my expectations. And you know what that means? Be turning a turtle. Be turning a turtle, yeah.

That is true. Where did we get on? Where did this splinter off from? Well, we were trying to clarify. We try to be accurate. We try to be accurate. Sometimes you're pulling a reference off the top of your head. Yeah.

So adventure through inner space. Oh, it's because of that. Adventure through inner space. Inner space. Not interspace. Not interspace. No. Yeah. So a number of things have explored this way and inner space kind of like had recently explored this so it's in the the

consciousness people really miss adventure through inner space replaced by star tours replaced by star tour that's really strange it all how that all lines up um so this was in the air to happen i suppose the other piece of the history of it is that they wanted to do a dark ride that was going through the human body uh the the title was going to be the incredible journey within uh but there's a quote you can find a bunch from marty sklar about how making a 30 foot heart is going to be super complicated. Yeah. Is that really going to maintain and be worth the...

You're going to put in all that effort, and then it's just going to end up looking kind of cruddy anyway. So once Star Tours comes around, oh, here, this is how we can do it, with the magic of ILM, Industrial Light and Magic. Yes. The other unbuilt thing... I feel like we could do a whole unbuilt epcot thing like there's so much fascinating stuff let uh uh in future world uh alone

it's interesting and then you add in world showcase all the unbuilt uh countries but there was they were thinking about doing a carousel of Progress-style revolving theater called Good Health Habits about how life is a fun carnival. Life is fun. And nothing is more dynamic than the phrase Good Health Habits. Wait, it was about fun, but it was also going to be like how you should live? Well,

it was about good health habits. But like the whole... The original concept art for the Wonders of Life Pavilion is very like midway carnival-y. Right, right, right. And, and it did have some of that in the center area and it had little touches of that, but then it had very spare areas, like undecorated stuff too.

Right. That would be interesting. Well, yeah. So what, like in the eighties, what did they think was living good? What would have been a good health habits? spare areas like undecorated stuff too right um that would be interesting well yeah so what like the 80s what did they think was living good what would have been good health habits tab tab you have your daily tabs that would have been number one probably jello that's an easy way to get your fruit and your vitamins jello mold yeah tab? Coke. Both new and booger sugar. Yes, cocaine was good still in the 80s. Ludes?

I guess ludes. Wall Street is to be believed. Iceberg lettuce. Oh, iceberg lettuce with cream-based dressings. Yeah, just pour a bunch of cocaine on a bunch of iceberg lettuce. Take a hit of that. Mixed with, kind of cut it with some ranch dressing. Right.

It all goes in one big wrap. The biggest wrap you can find. Mixed with Jell-O and Nutri-Sweet. Just shake it up. And John from the Carousel of Progress presents all of that to you. We're doing cocaine now. And then do eat that thing and then mousercise. Yeah, right.

Mousercise. And then put on your daily dose of mousercise. And look to your left, look to your right. Who is it? Why, it's Ronald and Nancy Reagan joining you. Mm-hmm. And McGruff. And McGruff.

Stay healthy or else I'll bite you. He threatens you into being healthy. Put blue cheese on everything. It makes it easier to eat. Choke down that garbage lettuce. Newspaper that we have to eat. I just need newspaper, but you shouldn't. I tried putting blue cheese on grass once and ate it and then took a shit on it and it was fine.

It was good. Whether you call it Thousand Island dressing or Russian dressing, it's an important part of the food pyramid. Speaking of Ronald Reagan, a thing I found out about researching this is that Tim Matheson played Ronald Reagan in National Geographic Channel's adaptation of Bill O'Reilly's book, Killing Reagan. Wow. And that's kind of, there is a child. It's not my child.

Let me be clear about that. I was going to say he is well-behaved, but that's actually just behind glass. Yeah, he's in a glass box right now. Not in a cube. He's not. I mean, a window. You put him in the Magneto? It's a plastic prison, yeah.

All right, fine. I have a miniature Magneto prison where I sort of freeze my son until our important podcast work is done. He's playing chess in there. He's got plenty to do. That is a weird thing i guess because fox like at the time and now disney fox owns national geographic but like they adapted those those phil o'reilly killing books yeah as like prestige tv made for tv movies like with cindy and nixon as nancy oh wow strange. So is that movie about the attempted assassination of Reagan? I think so.

I think that's how they, the naming of his book started is assassinated or attempted assassinated presidents. And then I think by the end, he was just. Well, he was killing Lincoln. Yeah. Which happened. Which happened. I know that.

Yeah, Kennedy happened. Reagan did not happen. But does he do like a Tarantino thing where he does kill Reagan at the end? Is there like a twist on it? I don't think so. Did he kill Roosevelt? Like Teddy Roosevelt? I don't know. I don't know. It was just a weird

thing I came across. McGruff saved Reagan at the end of the book. No. He dove in front of the bullet. Yeah. McGruff. Killing McGruff. Also, I was picturing for until I looked

at a picture of him, I was picturing Timothy Busfeld, not Timothy Matheson, both on the West Wing as different characters. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

Those solid actors. And that's a solid confusion. That makes sense to right. Yeah, yeah. Those solid actors. And that's a solid confusion. That makes sense to me. Yeah. Both throw Timothy Dalton in there, and then there's a whole mess of confusion you can have. Yeah. But a different type.

You probably wouldn't. Tim Matheson's good. He's good in this. Yes. I feel. Braddock. It's Captain Braddock. Captain Braddock.

Captain Braddock. Who some literature I saw said was a former fighter pilot. And now he pilots little ships that get miniaturized into the human body. I don't know where they convey the fighter pilot. Is that made up? I don't know. But it's sort of Poe Dameron-esque. He is very Dameron-esque.

I agree. Did they say, maybe I missed this. Did they say, is it in the future year or is it current day on this ride? Oh. It's current day, right? They say a year. They just, like, imagine that there is technology up to this speed, but this isn't, like, 2088. I think that's right, because I didn't come across anything, but I'm thinking of that now.

I'm wondering if that's what they were doing. But, yeah, so I was just trying to figure out, war he may have served in as an Air Force pilot. Oh, yeah. So they made this in what, 89? 89, right? Yeah, so he's what? He's like 30-something? Fictional alternate universe war that killed Reagan.

Oh, yeah, good point. It was like a war against aliens, and he had to fly a plane himself like in Independence Day, and the aliens killed Reagan. It was right when Reagan was governor of California. He fought. It was an alien attack specific to California. Yeah, it was California versus aliens. He led the California military.

Right. There's a lot of those big old sounds now. The perils of outdoor recording. Yeah, there's a big car drove by. Of course, we've warned you before if there's a car that sounds old, it's probably being found. The child has been sated by wailing on an old car with a baseball bat. Someone's doing the Street Fighter bonus level where they beat up a car. E-Honda beats up a car for bonus points.

That's what's happening outside here in the alley. You talk about health. I think this can be like a hearing test for bonus points. That's what's happening outside here in the alley. You talk about health. I think this is a good, this can be like a hearing test for the audio. How good is your hearing? Can you hear the things happening around my yard? Or are we referring to things that we didn't even need to address? Probably didn't need to address most of them. Some of them, I bet, I really don't know.

Not sure. We'll never, you know, we'll never know. Yeah, but we might as well, look, it fills time to talk about the sounds. No. Not sure. We'll never know. Yeah. Yeah. But we might as well. Look, it fills time to talk about the songs. Yeah, yeah. We need to kill time. It's just nice to talk to each other and see each other in person. And also, I was startled a couple times, so I felt like I had to acknowledge it.

Just so I didn't go like, ugh. You said the audience would have noticed maybe that you seemed like you were scared a little bit. So you had to make it known why. Well, if I kept talking, yeah, I wouldn't make like... I was also thinking, you know, we're learning today Ellen is ending her talk show. But I was thinking today, should I get some sort of an actor to scare you during the record? Like Ellen might do during her show. Oh, yes.

She would have... She made people go into haunted houses and stuff. Yeah, but she would have a person in a box. Have you ever seen, like, she would have a person in a box just sitting, no, no, out on the show, live when they were doing an interview. There'd be, like, a box next to the person. They wouldn't notice because it looked like just a piece of furniture.

And a person would jump out of the box mid-interview and scare the guest. Yikes. Like, and she would just do it for her own sick pleasure. And you know, that's what happens. You didn't have to make that stuff up. Like in the 80s, you had luge, you had cocaine. That would just naturally happen on a talk show.

Yes. On like late period John. It was just insane enough. You didn't have to contrive stuff like that. Right. You just fell asleep in a box and didn't know why. Yes. And of course, Ellen Epcot uh epcot celebrity ellen degeneres um that's right yeah yeah yeah um how did did her

show run longer than the ride did i believe was it 19 years i think is the show and the ride just shy of 18. Oh, wow. Okay. So that must be, she was, that's probably why she was writing it out. Like probably tempted to leave. Cause everybody started saying she's mean, but like,

eh, I gotta get the stats up. This has to go longer than my bad ride. Right? Yes. That's probably right. Oh, I thought you meant this ride.

I thought she was like, I'm outlasting body wars. Oh yeah. No, she was trying to be body wars, definitely. But going forward, especially if we're at my apartment, Jason, watch out. Because if there's a big box around you, I've hired an actor to scare you mid-record. Okay.

I just want to keep you on your toes. But following proper current actor protocols where they'll have a mask and a face shield. Oh, well, as we said, and I have my temperature gun from earlier. You have your temperature gun. I will not allow them inside if they have a temperature. It's a vice of you constantly zapping the box. A cardboard box. Yeah. I will keep... Sometimes a cough comes out of.

When we're inside, I will continue to take both of your temperatures during record to make sure you haven't had any sort of elevation. Over and over. So when that, yeah, when you hear a beep every minute,'ll know that we moved and you stop hearing children yelling yes yes exactly that's what happened exactly um where were we oh my god i don't know should we say some of the well okay well we're talking braddock a little bit actually i forgot there's another little star wars tie-in with braddock uh you notice that he, much like Han Solo's dice,

has little lungs dangling from his dash? I did notice that. I like that. Yeah, I feel like the merchandise offering in Wonders of Life is that kiosk storefront was pretty small, so I doubt you could buy the dangling lungs. I wish you could that's yeah that would have been great but obviously i'd love to see like a long backstory of what the

the dangling lungs and where they came from i mean braddock the the disney plus spinoff series would be great how do you transition from how do you get the name braddock first of all um how do you transition from being a fighter a fighter pilot in a california alien war to being a miniaturized vessel pilot for met life there's a lot like there's a lot of when we looked at it there's a lot of story to tell is what they'll say in the press release yeah so a lot more story left to tell so yeah i think that i hope ronald d moore is really gonna be it's all on his shoulders here if he can get this sea off the ground then we get it all of it we get all of it because if it doesn't work it's all gonna be back to the drawing board for

years i'm afraid but if he can get like braddock in sea somehow this is truly not that far-fetched. Yeah, yeah. I think Matheson's still gettable. I think he'd step into the famous jumpsuit again. Is that what he wears? I don't quite recall. Braddock's famous jumpsuit? He's got a jacket.

He's got kind of like a future-y. It's like a white outfit jacket. Yeah, kind of jacket. It's kind of like Han Solo, too. This ride has a Han Solo. See, maybe you gotta give it points over Star Tours, none of which have ever had a Han Solo. Right.

He's never appeared. Poe appears on Star Tours now. And Finn as well. But yeah, they've never for some reason they can't get Harrison Ford to do a cameo. I mean, they've never, for some reason they can't get Harrison Ford to do, do a cameo. I mean,

as a kid, I was like, where, where's the gang? Yeah. Yeah. Well, and with rise of the resistance now,

like it's part of the design of it. Well, the gang will be there. And the contracts. Yeah. The other thing it's a part of. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, the gang showed up for like premieres and stuff. You say those photos of Disney and James studios were like very awkwardly styled Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher show. Like Mark Hamill looks like it's like a weird like buzz cut. He looks like full metal jacket. He looks like really agitated. He had some interesting nineties looks.

I feel like when you go and watch Mark Hamill on like talk shows yeah sometimes yeah you go oh he's really going for like a cool like kind of look here um but yeah like harrison is never really doesn't experiment doesn't experiment as much yeah with cool looks or with uh being part of things if he doesn't have to that's true yeah um this is good that's cool there's a new ride we gotta go to i gotta bang on his ship gotta go to anaheim well he saves all his energy all he he saves up his energy for their big couples costumes if you've seen their halloween yeah that's right there's always something silly at halloween yeah they're always yeah they have they have couples costumes. Oh, yeah, that's right. There's always something silly at Halloween. Yeah, they're always, yeah, they have couples costumes and they're always bringing, like, two bottles of nice wine. And it's like, you know what?

I bet they're fun. I bet they're fun to hang out with. I hope they're back at it. That'll be also a sign that things are on the mend. I want to see their costume this year. Indiana Jones 5 starts recording, goes goes behind the lens whatever they call it lensing soon so hopefully the variety languages you can come back yeah uh but we have there these characters on body wars have not been remembered as fondly there's not a there's a

fan culture surrounding buzzy there's obviously the robot butler Horizons, all that stuff. These characters, I've never seen a single person online mythologizing them or mourning their loss. I've heard of them. Yeah. Yeah. One of them doesn't really have a name. One of them is just Mission Control Officer. Yeah.

So nobody's really thinking about Mission Control Officer. Yeah. I mean, Dinosaur is still around, but I've seen people talk about dinos the characters on dinosaur and all like i'm trying to think is there is there another big ride that has been like there's no affection for it ever anywhere online in the sense that like people are not like oh i like uh i like those characters in the in the pre-show you get don't think you get to know them. I don't think there's really a moment that tells you who they are. Braddock is confident. Cynthia Lair is also confident.

Yes, sure. But similarly, but different, she's professional. Can these two ever make this expedition work? It's missing. I guess maybe what I'm getting at is there's missing some Disney fun with the characters. Yeah. Very clinical, right? Very clinical.

The actors are all doing a good job. Yeah, yeah. They're all doing what their characters need to do. And I don't know if that's a Nimoy choice. Because Nimoy, you know, the cast of Star Trek were all very specific characters. You know, like, I don't know. I don't know if Nimoy choice. Maybe he just wanted to get this thing done.

Everybody just would deliver the line. I don't know what exactly. Because like a lot of stuff, you know, is weird as Epcot is and was more so was. There's still always like little pieces of fun. But this this is missing like that fun thing in it in this little bit yeah yeah um and it doesn't maybe compare too favorably to the similar ride star tours that would open two months later um you know jason you said the gang's not there but hey c-3po and r2d2 are you get you know i think there's a really like strong contrast when you look at the pre-ride videos,

where they take you through almost all the same steps that you can't smoke and you can't take pictures, and how to buckle in your seatbelt. But in the Star Tours pre-ride video, there's a bunch of kooky creatures, and even if it's just a human, they're wearing a weird cloak. There's even characters you know, right? Chewbacca's in there. Yeah, there's one robot in the pre-show when they're loading in. There's like a metal thing that gets loaded on the pre-show in the back.

I re-watched that a couple times. That looks like someone wearing Wayne Zielinski's hat from Honey, I Shrunk the Kid. Oh yeah, weird. They put it under the chair and I'm like, is that an Easter egg or were they just like... Oh, interesting. Okay, They put it under the chair, and I'm like, is that an Easter egg? Or were they just like... Okay, so I thought that was maybe some hybrid android character,

but no, it was not nearly as fun. Mechanical man. It was just a man wearing a metal hat. I think they were a little canny about referencing stuff back then, but that feels like a very modern thing to put in a nod or an Easter egg. Because, I mean i the kid puts an epcot like souvenir bag under his seat and then that help you see the helmet which shows you it's modern times i guess or that it was it was in 89 yeah the current and that this lab is at epcot

you're not going to another world right it's it's really like if this was a ride and they like where we were just like observe at an observation deck during a surgery. I get the clinicalness of it. But this doesn't being shrunk does not exist. It's not real. I don't even think anyone's working on it, to be fair, to be honest. I don't think this is I think I don't think anyone's thinking about shrinking things right now. I think we're, I'm sure there are people working on teleportation, going to other dimensions, fast space travel. I don't think anyone's working on shrinking experiments.

So it is weird that it's lacking the fun whimsy of a goofy premise like this. Or like a, you know, that like a biff comes in and like knocks over something and then ends up shrunk and we got to go rescue him. There's basically no fun or problem

until midway through the actual ride, you know, like the conflict doesn't set in for a little bit. And even then it's charging a tiny ship battery microscopic battery and like what she's investigating that like the patient like everyone's very calm because it's like well i guess the worst that could happen is the ship expands inside when it's inside this guy

and then you get into like cronen Cronenbergian body horror. Right. But, like, he's pretty calm because they're just kind of checking out a splinter. Yeah, they don't even put the guy under. This is a kind of, the processes they do, because it's not, like, again, if you haven't been on this ride, we're not saving a life. We're not going in to, like, do heart surgery heart surgery with like guns in the front of the ship it is just to check out stuff we're just gonna see so like they don't have to put the guy doesn't go

down he's just awake while a tiny ship is beamed into his arm yeah like i would it would make more sense i have not watched it yet scott mentions a a king kong movie where he has open heart surgery oh yeah yeah he has a heart transplant they put a big mechanical that heart that makes sense if we were trying to operate on a giant ape and it was like you know what we have a let's just send a ship in his bloodstream and let's like go that way that makes more sense to me than the logic of let's figure out shrinking technology to go into the body like that, that doesn't... It's so crazy that it should be fun. I guess, really, I guess I'm restating what I'm saying.

Yeah. Well, I think the thing that's missing from this that that Kong movie may have had, that's not the Jeff Bridges one. That's the one... It's a follow-up. It's a follow-up. It's probably the same suit is being used. So it's still Dino De Laurentiis, I think, still had the right...

And that's what's missing. You don't have Dino going nutsiis, I think, still had the right, and that's what's missing. You don't have Dino going nuts on the property. Spoiler alert, Godzilla Kong. Have you guys seen it? I have. I have a lot to say. You haven't watched it? I have not watched it. Am I allowed to spoil a little something? Yeah, I probably will not.

Oh, you should watch it. It's very fun. It's a big wrestling match. It's pretty fun. Rebecca Hall, is that who the one scientist was? I don't know a single actor in it. I thought she was terrific. Kyle Chandler's in it. I was there for the fights, for the animal fights.

But there's a scene where they have to get Kong's heart working again. Oh, great. Yes. And I was watching Kong Godzilla. I was like, whoever put this together knows how to play with toys. This is my thought process. Or put together, like, fights. There's a lot of, like, wrestling-style moves between the two of them that are fun.

And then I saw a guy named, what is it, Adam Wingward? I forget exactly how to, that's close. I'm like 80%. And then on HBO Max it says, like, which movies were inspiring Adam to, like, what are his favorite movies? And the first two were, like, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Behind the Candelabra. And I was like, this is my guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know.

You might be getting me on board now. And that one shot from Back to the Future, The Ride. I think we would talk about that a lot. And he also mentions in an interview that the ride vehicle is very much Back to the Future, the ride, like, inspired. Oh, that's cool. Okay. So the whole thing feels like Martin Scorsese was talking about theme park rides as movies, and I totally agree with him, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. No, that's where I lose.

I get what he's saying, but it's like, how is that an insult? You're saying the best comparison. Yeah, he's right. Like, there should be more, like, different movies and interesting movies. interesting movies i'm totally for that also theme park rides are usually like uh tight you know what i mean in and out not two hours 20 minutes yes exactly yeah i wish um the movies he's complaining about were tight like rides but one of the two stars of this movie one of the two name stars in this movie gets a magical mcuffin halfway through. And that's kind of important. There's a whole spoiler alert, Hollow Earth section

where he's jumping around and it seems like Mario Galaxy Kong is jumping. And I was like, the whole thing, you don't think too much about it. It's real fun. It feels just like you're playing with toys. I like the Monarch set up. Did you like it? I did like it, but

I was like, oh, they even the playing field because one of these guys has more innate abilities and the other one gets a damn weapon. I think what happens is, I don't want to get a whole thing, I think because they have to make a deal between the company that owns Godzilla

and Kong. Companies own them? Well, Legendary has the rights to make them in America, but Toho... The real movie. They're owned by the company, the Monsters. Well, kind of. There's a little bit of

creepy startup guy. I mean, the lesson of the movie is the real winner is the friends we made along the way. I think, like, like. That's in a lot of movies. Yeah. But I think there's a negotiation along the lines of, like, you know, when two big famous action heroes are in a movie and they can't lose.

You've heard rumors of, like, The Rock can't lose in a movie. Oh, yes. And the other people, other actors, I've heard for sure that's the case. I can't look bad in a movie. So I think there's a negotiation of who could look better, which monster could look better. So I won't spoil any more past this, but I think watching it, I go,

okay, I see what happened here. They let that one win basically, but this one got to do a cool thing at the end. There's some very fun stuff in the movie and multiple people have called out like within the first 15 minutes a character just with with no shaken confidence just goes like well there can only only one alpha titan can can be at any given time and

it's like ah of course i agree we all know this only one alpha Alpha Titan. Sure, yes. The rules. Yeah. Guys, we're not talking about giant things. We're talking about the tiniest things. No, we're not talking about the tiniest chips. But we want like Mr. DNA or something to show up. That would help. Yeah. We want like a talking white blood cell, a talking red blood cell, white blood cell that like are taking us on the journey or something.

What is that? I didn't say what we were talking about like when you imagine the star tours pre-ride we're like here comes the monsters they're walking into the ship in this one it's just it's a bunch of scientists yeah which has its own joy to it but like wow 40 scientists scientists and a handful of tourists yeah yeah one figment hat, which is nice. Nice to see that figment hat. Right. But yeah, it would be, I mean, I don't think when the pandemic started, I don't think any

of the people's solution was like, let's shrink things and go into each person's body and get rid of that spiked protein that attaches itself. Sounds like a quadrant that's wide open for disruption. Am I right? Yeah, you're going to turn it turtle. Turning it turtle. Well, this all could have happened sooner, I think, if we'd just gotten a little ship in there and gotten our Cynthia Lairs.

Yeah. Gotten Fauci and the less good, the one who didn't object to the bleach strongly enough. But she's fine still. Yeah, yeah. Dr. Birx. Get them all on a ship. Load up a ship.

It's got to be 40 scientists. You definitely cannot just have one or two. You need 40 scientists all to be shrunk and a couple of tourists for fun. I would like to start a QAnon conspiracy theory that that is actually what the vaccine is. It sends a little vehicle into your bloodstream. I don't think you'd have to reach very far to convince some people that is the case. Oh, my God. You could, like, take footage from this ride.

Like, still, like, look, look, the ship. You could see it. And they're sending it right into the elbow. And that's what. And then, look, here's POV of it swimming around. And it's in the lungs. And now it's in the brain. that's what and then look here's pov of it swimming around and it's in the lungs now it's and now it's in the brain this is what's happening they're putting it there just they just laid the train just shot a tracker into that spine it's not yeah it's not a microchip it's

a little vehicle with a man named braddock and they're sending that into each person and they're sending it in and hollywood's in on it capped know, there's this first off this Nimoy's in on it. This goes very deep. That doctor is not a doctor. It's acclaimed actor, Academy Award winner, Elizabeth Shue. And now she's on an Amazon show called The Boys. Jeff Bezos knows Bill Gates. Divorced Club.

It's all connected. Disney, Iger. They're all in it together. Disney knows new Steve Jobs. They're all it's all connected. Disney, Iger, they're all in it together. Disney knows new Steve Jobs. It's all combining. When Leonard Nimoy was dying, Bill Gates was at his bedside. Nimoy put his hands

on Bill Gates' face and said, remember. And he mind-melded with Bill Gates and put his consciousness at the end of Star Trek Wrath of Khan. So Bill Gates has the information in his head that Nimoy gave him. So that's how this whole thing got together. That's a

very good reference to Star Trek movie. I just want to put that out there in case you don't know. And the Bezos, you can see it, it's right in front of us now. The Bezos super yacht with the second yacht that's the support yacht. They shrink the support yacht goes in his body when he gets sick. That's right. There's all of these yachts

and those can be off at sea. I think that maybe they do the shrinking at sea so that you maybe don't notice a yacht going off the grid. It's off on an expedition and when it's off it shrinks and then it ends up in a body. Now look at the yacht. Now look at the footage of this body wars

and they show you four maquettes of the unmanned early iterations of the unmanned uh met early iterations of the shrinking ships they do have maquettes they do have cool looking maquettes which i don't i don't think they're really monetized because i did look on ebay and there's not a lot of body wars merch besides some pins it probably doesn't help there was a toy line called Body Wars from the mid-90s. Oh, no. Kind of like... Took it out and muddied the waters?

Yeah, kind of like... Was it Madballs? Madballs, yeah. Yeah, kind of... With an unrelated toy line? An unrelated, yeah, toy line. But it wasn't a TV show? I don't know if it was a TV show.

It seems mostly set around gruesome-looking cartoony eyes. Oh, weird. That was an 80s and 90s craze of gruesome eyes you could buy for your children. Gross, pussy eyes. It's in the realm of Nickelodeon, Gak, and Slime. And then companies were like, kids like this. Make it uglier. Make it extreme.

Yeah. Yeah, gross. Kids love gross. Which, again, maybe this ride, you've got to lean into the grossness. Like, what it should be is going to see, like, the grossest things in the body, going to see the spleen or anything. I don't know what would be gross to look at. If you could see an appendix burst.

Oh, yeah. That would be gross. Yeah. Sure. Might be upsetting, potentially, but maybe the young boys at Disney World are excited. They love that. Oh, dude. A thing I was terrified of as a child,

often used as a plot device in television movies. Oh, appendicitis. Appendicitis, appendix bursting. Yes, I was too. Tonsils, I was waiting for like, well, your tonsils are going to, they're toast. They're going to put you under,

slice you open, and then you will get to eat ice cream for a few days so i was like oh okay well and you were like praying for to get your tonsils out kind of but i was also like well i do that already anyway why is this such a treat i don't pay for my ice cream it just shows up when i need it so yeah i need to be in a room that's not my room to have it yeah in reality children's television like anything is usually written by 30 and 40 year olds who were like remembering their childhoods and it's like well ice cream used to be much rarer back in the day sad to think about huh don't get me started

um but no you well you also you know overranium Command, you're getting some gross out. You're seeing George Wendt operating the stomach. Right. You know, like it's all building up like bile and you got some, you know, some stuff he doesn't know how to process. This is focusing, they had to pick different things. Right. Although we end up in the brain again, but this is a realistic brain. It's not a brain with a John Lovitz and a Charles Groton.

Yes, right. And it's weird. It's just, I would think when you were designing it, you would be like, let the brain talk or something. Like, let's get a little something in there. But yeah, you end up... It may be... I'm trying to think of what are the benefits of the...

You know, it is in keeping with Epcot, the more educational nature of things. And I feel like this did at least lay out for me. Oh, I think now I get the concept of white blood cells. I see that they are like, they're kind of like I was going to say the stormtroopers except those are bad.

They're like X-wings. Yes, yeah. They're like little X-wings that go and swoop in to solve problems in the body. Like, it is interesting to see. So, again, the whole premise, like, this guy's got a splinter, a pretty harmless thing.

Let's go check it out and see what that's like if you're very small and how the white blood cells respond to it. And that's kind of interesting. I don't think I realize that about my body, something that's in there that shouldn't be. And here are these little hero helpers come in and swoop in and start and just kind of. Then I don't really get what they do. They just kind of start like gooing onto the wood. And somehow that eventually makes the wood go away.

I agree with what you're saying. I just, you know, can't they talk to me? Let them talk to me and tell like. That's all. I was going to say like what would be a name? like whitey i guess like like that seems weird but there's bloody bloody like little bloody is gonna tell you what's going on hey come on i want to get this footer out of here follow me and you're like yeah now i'm learning and now I have a new friend. Yeah, yeah. No, bloody, that's Dr. Elizabeth Lair. Oh, yeah.

Cynthia Lair, Cynthia Lair. Dr. Elizabeth, you're thinking Elizabeth Shue, the actress portraying her, Jason. She's an unknown entity in this body. I'm sorry. Yeah. What else? Let's go find something else to fuck up. Let's go.

Who can I kill today? I'm bloody. My name's bloody num num num i'm the vandal of the body i messed up mart uh marty sclare was very clearly concerned about this pavilion so he didn't need a bloody on it so he didn't need to worry about bloody getting up to mischief he was concerned about like you can tell the way he talks about he was very excited to to make this pavilion and kind of spearhead it but also like oh we don't want people coming after us for our choices in this pavilion yeah i yeah they were even they were being careful i guess for a lot of reasons um it would have if this was done now would it be more of like a Millennium Falcon

situation where we could control it you know where like it was more like well but then you just immediately let an anti-vaxxer pilot it and just like don't touch the controls and it's just like I'm not going to be any part of this

I'm not getting any coaxium I'm not getting that splinter out I'm not get the white blood cells. God is going to take care of it, not us. God wants me to have this splinter. There's a reason it's in here. I let all my splinters stay inside me. The apple cider vinegar cannon is doing nothing.

It is really funny. So the mission is to see what white blood cells do and how they help when there is a problem in the body. But then what is it that like, it's that Elizabeth Shue gets pulled into the bloodstream. Like she's just floating calmly. The splinter cracks. Oh, that's why. And that like cause there's like a change in the flow of everything knocks her all and she's and then the white blood cells go after her okay okay and

assume that she's a problem that she's she's a foreign object which she is yeah as are we the ship i mean they could be why don't they attack us that's a good point too because they they do uh go after her it's very And also, one of the other big things, you're going to observe the white blood cells, and you also gotta give her a ride. Like, hey man, can you pick me up from the splinter site in the

bloodstream? I guess, while I'm in the neighborhood. But you owe me one layer. Also, in canon, there's three other vehicles. Zulu 174, Sierra 657, Foxtrot 817, Charlie 218. Couldn't one of them gone in and given you a jump? Oh, yeah. Sure.

Oh, yeah, just beam one of those in quickly. Yeah, and bump you. Like, just get to beam one of those in quickly. Yeah, and bump you. Like, just get to that before Back to the Future. I guess it's like, you know, the right stuff, kind of the pilots who are pushing the limits of fighter jets and the sound barrier and stuff. Experimenting. Yeah, this is a new area of science, so let's be bold.

So she gets yanked. I think she yells i'm getting pulled into a capillary um and then you gotta follow her around i think that's like maybe that's a stressful in terms of the nausea that like everything's pulsing i think the sound design doesn't help things the pulsing and the lungs it's and it's all chaotic and you don't there's no um uh like architecture you know there's things in you don't there's no um uh like architecture you know there's things in star tours where there's danger but you see there's a wall over here and a wall over here but this is like gravity where it's you know the nausea of that you're that

you're spinning and i don't know how to stop it or what will stop it yeah and it's all just like living like like living matter like matter it's just it just not, it's unnerving as well. Obviously, like you're saying, spinning out of control is not good for nausea. But I do feel like, you know, nothing's like a hard line. Nothing's a straight line. There's something about that. Right. That makes it horrifying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very disorienting. I guess exciting. But again, you know, again, Star Tours has one of the most iconic scores of all time. This has no score. It has heavy breathing. It's a little tad creepy. Oh, you love to hear it.

Oh, someone comes up behind you. You're not expecting it. They're breathing real heavy. We all just did it into the microphone and to our listeners' AirPods. Let's do a little ASMR real quick. All three of us are going to breathe heavy into the mic. All right. For 45 seconds?

Well, let's do 20 seconds and honor the 20 seconds of footage. 29 seconds. Agree to disagree. Good. Help. I'm sitting in the elevator. i'm stuck hey i'm bloody my name's bloody come along with me stay away from me buddy i'm just doing a science experiment now follow me i'm gonna go fuck some shit up in here and i'm captain braddock and i just love piloting captain braddock you piece of shit i'm a simple man i love my ship and i love a cold one you don't belong here you don't belong here you piece of shit let me on braddock don't just brag about your interests you fight me one-on-one

worker to pick me up fight me one-on-one like a man it's a fighter pilot i was the one american plane sent to the Falklands conflict. I flew over the island a couple times, and that was it. I don't give a shit. I've been in here fighting wars my whole life. Alright, fair enough. I didn't think it was a contest. Every day is hell for me.

Alright. Every day is hell. It's the breathing, and it's very realistic, and I think very relaxing. I think we might have put people to sleep i during that the the cutting 20 seconds of footage and putting in some quick fades i don't know explain this i i'm vaguely aware of it but yeah they they like there was parts that were too nausea inducing and they killed it they were like okay maybe if we

like cut some of the parts where people get the most uneasy and they just fade it between shots and even as a kid i was like did we go through along like what is like i was like i don't get that that doesn't happen in star tours but um did we black out it almost seems like you black out for a second yeah it doesn't you know like when you go into the hollow earth in godzilla exactly yes that happens in the hollow earth scenes uh for sure yeah it's it's odd it doesn't make sense i'm trying to remember if i had an act i can remember a thought about it i don't think i don't have a mistake in the youtube video when i saw it but no yeah they like

when rides have to be so seamless and so much effort is put into like how do we make sure you just move from one place to another effortlessly here they just put fades in yeah it just doesn't yeah it does doesn't I'm trying to think of another ride modern day screen ride that has some anything like that and I cannot come up with one. Sort of Soarin' in a way. Okay, you're right. Soarin' does. That's a choice. Even the hard cut was a choice. Yes. But that's, yeah, early on you sort of just get used to that. So I guess, yeah, Soarin'

is the one, but there's no, none of the other ones I can think, like, teleport you. It is, um, sincerely, and I did not remember this from being a kid at all, how funny and confusing it is when sorry so we've introduced white blood cells they're helpers if there's a problem they swarm and fix the problem but then yeah they think that elizabeth's shoe is a problem

so then you find her cornered in a lung and then she's like trying to bat one off of her like it's a squid gnawing at her leg and there's kind of tentacles. Like she's being consumed by a giant white blood cell and then your ship fires lasers at it and it just sparkles away. Again, the ride that has been very realistic and no, we have to show what a cell looks like in the lung. Suddenly lasers zap a monster cell.

It's like rabid. You know what those lasers could have zapped? This big-ass splinter my dad told me about. You remember that big splinter? My dad told you about? Yeah. Yeah, wait, why didn't it blast the splinter apart? If we can do that, then just go do that.

I guess, well, no, it's to observe. We need to let the white blood cells do their thing. Yeah, I guess there's still so much unknown. The revelation that the ship has guns. There are guns on the ship. And that that would ever be a solution to an issue would be to shoot it. That seems a little silly, too. Yeah, what could be solved in the body i mean in theory like boy

if if met could get their act together and like shoot a tumor with a laser and the cure for cancer becomes little lasers that's great but i don't think they're there yet that's different yes that now if it's like a like a precise laser beam that could use be used to like slice yes now we're talking about it but something that's gonna like shoot uh phasers like on the starship enterprise that seems less right that doesn't seem exactly the correct way to do this so yeah yeah i get the artistic choice but i just find it so funny you're you are told like good guys good they're good the white blood cells we're gonna go see how good that they are being and then one is like one is a monster eating this like pretty movie star who we

like from other things like and then it gets killed like it's there's mixed messages here invader it's doing yeah. No, it's true. Yeah. So they should have, like, figured out a way to get her out of there without harming the body, harming a white blood cell. I know we have a lot of white blood cells, but still. But now everybody has one less. There should have been, like, another foreign entity in there. Like, another virus or something that was attacking her.

And she got mixed up into that. Sure. Because then you're not... One of the socialist Central American presidents that Captain Braddock likely was helping to coup with his wife Violet his previous career. You could have put some geopolitical politics in this ride as well. You could have put another tiny ship in maybe that you were having a battle against. Yeah, that's possible. I mean, America has a miniaturization unit, but then like our enemies.

Right. There's China and Russia. The Falklands have it too. I knew they'd be back. Yeah. Those motherfucking Falklands. But yeah, it doesn't make sense. You're attacking the good cells but they've just

made the good cells look scary now of course sometimes the good cells do attack our bodies and that's a problem that's a that's when it's malfunctioning but that's not what they're trying to showcase here well that's what i was trying to remember with this as our first post-covid episode our first episode now that covid is done and and I was trying to think of, like, oh yeah, it's so over. I was trying to think, like, what is the crossover between things that happen in

body wars and what we were all worried about happening to us? Like, what is the real, and I'm no scientist, and I probably, I think I'll screw up even reading my cliff notes, but it is sort of like there's again anyone anyone's a doctor or anything will think i'm being an idiot by saying any of this but like some of what happens with a virus like the coronavirus is turning some of our own

white blood cells against us and sending that like sending them signals that like tell them to go attack things that are healthy like to go start eating up our lungs, and thus we have no recourse against the virus. So white blood cells are like these drones that can be reprogrammed by evil entities like that, like the coronavirus. Yes. Like one of those big, scary, with its many crowns, Bowser-esque character right so that yes that is possible but that is not what's happening in body wars um yeah huh no because we like because we like somehow they just aren't smart enough they're just trained to kill and so we see a splinter we're gonna kill it and we see a little shoe we're gonna kill her right they're just that's a foreign entity as

i said that foreign entity and i'm talking about it in medical terms, uh, that that, yeah, they would be getting, they would be doing that. They would be taking care of her, but it feels,

yeah, it feels like it's, it's counterproductive from the lesson we're trying to learn. Yeah, I think so. Um, no, I was going to say there's one big,

uh, you know, thing we haven't touched on. Mike, you, of course, have heard this a million times in professional wrestling. You know, the term people keep using is forbidden door. Forbidden doors are open. I feel like the forbidden door with MetLife in the 1980s was our friend Snoopy. Oh, right.

Their longtime, like, you know, who they had a relationship with Snoopy and the Peanuts gang as a mascot but Disney can't use Snoopy Snoopy's elsewhere Snoopy's occupied at like other parks so you're saying forbidden door the forbidden door for what people don't if you don't know what's going

on in wrestling Jason talking about the fact that the company AEW is working with like the company New Japan and Impact Wrestling. And I believe this phrase was coined by Tanahashi in New Japan, where the forbidden door will be opened and all the companies can work together. And it's kind of like if, well, not Marvel and DC meeting. That's already happened. But that would be like WWE and AEW working together. But if like DC's comics started working with Image Comics and Fantagraphics Comics and Odie Comics, like and everyone's getting in the mix together.

So Disney did not have that opportunity. Like if Snoopy was piloting your Met vehicle, like the Red Baron saves you. Oh, the Red Baron. The ship saves you. Braddock fails. Braddock's too busy having war flashbacks. And then he, like, somebody's, and the ship goes down, and then we get a jolt from a second ship, and who's in there?

Snoopy. Snoopy and Woodstock. Whoa, yes, co-pilot hopping around on a little lever. The World War I flying ace. That's right, he was made to be also a veteran snoopy yeah wow well this would have been the way to save it yeah open the forbidden door and who who is on the uh conveyor belt who's the patient why it's spike snoopy's snoopy's uh cousin cousin yeah we're in Spike's disgusting body,

whatever he's putting into himself. Yeah, his mustache does conduct electricity, so they could have jumped it on there. Yeah. No, I mean, obviously, who would have been mad at this? That's a solve. This would have solved it. This would have, I think, extended its life, probably,

and made it much more popular. Yeah. Well, I mean mean this might be a good candidate to to plus it up which we don't always do but that's one and then i like i think you know it does make me wish that it was still there and could be reprogrammed with new missions because imagine now you go back to disney world and there is a ride where you go defeat the coronavirus and blow it up with lasers and stop it from reprogramming the simple minds of white blood cells. Yes. I mean, see, if you could see one, like sometimes you'll see like a silly sign at a testing place with one of those, you know, and they'll do it bright red and there's all the crowns.

The amount of hate that I have for that virus and its its dumb crowns those don't look good on you they're disgusting if you watch that thing roll up and then you put in like a sound cue to rival the imperial march like you know because that's exciting when you see the death star in star tours like you you john williams does a theme for the coronavirus. There it is. And he thinks he can destroy our ship, but we're not going to let him. Yes.

I think that they would have been able to, yeah, adjust it to anything that's going on, any different virus. Any topical virus. I think they'd be very sensitive of them to any time that there's something raging. Bird flu. Whenever something kills half a million people or more um i think that as long as uh there's a cute character people would be on board with

anything so i i would say yeah keep keep put bloody on on the ride and that like yeah you could do all sorts of weird topical stuff on body wars for sure. So always bloody. But and then like, OK, so maybe coronavirus is like very realistic and like oozing. But it's like Tim Curry and Inferngully, like kind of like like a scary villain with a message. And he looks disgusting. But then cute little bloody is always the solution. He's rendered much more adorably than the gross coronavirus yeah yes uh i think you could yeah and then you could sell bloody dolls for sure that would that would be good and then he would be like the shandu

of the ride as well and you could go eat bloody tails you could the nearest snack place. There's a new bloody cupcake. Bite into me. Bite me. I've got new goo. Yeah, that would be, yes. I think that all of that would make it much more flexible

and make it much more appealing to children and would make it less, you wouldn't want to pass out on the ride anymore. You know? Would there be like, but the Mortal Kombat, like moral panic of like, there's blood in this game.

It's like, well, Disney has introduced this bloody, you know? Oh, because of bloody the mascot or because of flying through blood? Do you think blood removed from violent entertainment, like blood on its own is fine? Like a scamp, like a mischievous scamp blood is different from Mortal Kombat punch blood. Well, I mean, there were decapitations in Mortal Kombat. I mean, I suppose that's true.

I think probably more clinical blood or acute blood, if that's what you're asking, is okay. I think. But I don't know. And we're highlighting, Bloody is a white blood cell, right? So there's a different vibe. He's a defender. Yeah. He never sleeps.

That's why his life is hell. Yeah, he's been fighting an internal war. I don't get any breaks. My work shifts are 24-7. Yeah, it's like he works for Amazon or something. It's the same thing. Or Tesla. Don't let me pee.

Yeah. Our body, look, our body, they're anti-union. Let's be honest. They're working these cells like crazy. Even we sleep and the body's still doing stuff I guess we should take responsibility for it But I can control it So

It's the market It's just the market Hey find another job guys Oh man You don't like being a white blood cell Yeah go work somewhere else then I guess Um What happened to this ride you i mean

jason you kind of said it they just sort of well there maybe wasn't it i think it came out of the gate strong and then star tour a similar better ride proven ride opens immediately deflates it they have to cut parts of it that's weird uh and the whole pavilion this is a very cursed pavilion what with people stealing buzzy's clothes and uh and then it only being only operating seasonally and you know a lot of people just it seems like they stop running this ride and then you can just like walk back there whenever you wanted there's so many youtube videos it's like so here i am no one's stopping they don't they're seeing me on the camera, and they don't care. Like, yeah, let them screw with Body Wars.

Well, and then even right after it closed, pretty quickly they started using it as festival center for the different festivals they do at Epcot. And for the first little bit they were using it, they hadn't taken down signage and stuff. There was still, like, the ghost remnants of this pavilion. But I think this is the best example, because i feel like a thing that's come up when we've talked about the uh a lot of late epcot attractions the universe of energy horizons that sort of thing is like well you kind of got to keep updating the future if it's going to be the future park and i think this

one when people were writing about it people nailed that like well yeah disney knew that but they were counting on the sponsors to fork up the money for them to update it and i don't know if it was just naive executives or if it was just like the post-war like vibes of like the money train's never going to stop. And the companies will do what's right and fair for the things they do and their employees. And they'll help us update these attractions. In reality, they go, the contract's ending and the economy is changing. I think we're not going to pump thousands, if not millions, into these pavilions.

Oh, no, no, no. We're done. No, no, no. The shrinking shrinking ride did we do that no all different people work at the company at this point they're like what did we do no the way of the 21st century is uh dividends and keeping shareholders happy that's what's important yeah it's many gen like whoever like approved the metlife messaging in this ride was fired years ago. Like, there's been many changeovers. Disney doesn't even have anyone's phone number at MetLife anymore. Who is our contact?

Yeah, they're gone. Yeah, MetLife has torched their own blimp for, like, a little, like, well, we had a line item on an Excel sheet that we had. Oh, we had to fix that column. Yeah, it's such like a whimper of a thing. There was no controlled demolition of the ride. It's just like it closes. It's been

sitting there. It's still kind of sitting there. The simulators have been taken apart. Yeah, the rumor that's out there is that this is just a scrapyard for Star Tours simulators. Yes. So something scrapyard for star tours simulators yes so something breaks in one of those simulators yes hey head over to body wars go grab a russell just just yank it off well in a warehouse too because the rooms are empty yeah the simulators have been

moved yeah but yes they're they're simulators yes the rumor is they're just like the pieces have come off each one yeah right and it's like yeah, yeah, it's such a, it would be so much better if it was like, yeah, they demolished the whole thing and a thing sprung up in its place. But it's just such a much sadder, boring. It's going to be the play pavilion. We know that. But is that off or is that still on? No, I think it's still happening. Okay.

I think it's still happening. Okay. I think it is still happening. Because I've been really wondering if the concept of play will be something I can explore when I get to Epcot next. I'm just making sure that it's going to be there. I love talking about play and gamifying things. It all sounds very human and natural. What I want to do now after the year we've had is go look at as many screens as possible. Yeah. How many screens can I go stare at on my vacation?

Characters I can see on my telephone, their entire library on my telephone. I want to see them on a TV screen that will be out of date in eight months. You could buy down the street for 150 dollars yeah that doesn't have that sort of like zest that turtle talk with crush has a not as good turtle talk yeah if we're wrong character maybe play will be good it's just funny to me that it's like we're celebrating play the concept of play time to finally give play it's. You know, I just love seeing my favorite siloed IP

in the same space that satisfies multiple quadrants. That's what I love. I do think, you know what I am? One of my favorite things about going to the parks is that all my quadrants are satisfied. That's a number one thing that I find when I'm assessing

a ride or an experience. And they're all protected. Were my quadrants protected and were they satisfied? All four of them. There's nothing I love more than a person making six to seven figures telling me they are protecting brands. One of Mike's quadrants

is failing. Oh no, send in Captain Braddock. Fire lasers around until the quadrant reactivates. To restart my quadrant. Jumpstart my quadrant. Shock paddle. Do we miss anything? So, closes in 2007, and then, like, and it just sits there, and it's weird.

But I, you know, it's a fun one to think about. It's, certainly we could not have done this. It would have been so insensitive of us to do it during the pandemic. We had to wait. I feel like something like that was in our heads. Like, well, it's a lot with doctors right now. And we can't. That would be.

How many dumb rules did we have about anything? We were like, I guess we could have done this then. I don't know. We built up a lot of dumb rules around April last year. I don't know. We built up a lot of dumb rules around April last year. I don't remember. We've also talked about so many different,

like, oh, we should do this next. And then just have pivoted. Well, certainly. We should do this next or we should do this. The next Mortal Kombat movie is coming out.

What a good tie-in as if anyone cares. Everybody's thinking about Mortal Kombat. Yeah, it's Mortal Kombat mania out there. We better. So now is the time to talk about a canceled stunt show.

Yeah, I wasn't going to subscribe to their Patreon, but I have Mortal Kombat fever right now. And I see that they've done a 90-minute episode on their Patreon. Yeah, there is free testing for Mortal Kombat fever as well, insurance or not. So why not? Get out there and do it. I think, like, you know so so why not get out there and do it yeah um i think like well you

know there was a lot you remember also in the beginning of all this how it was like uh doctors heroes the medical our medical community and thank god for them and if it wasn't and then quickly it was like all right hurry up doctors come on get that vaccine to us everybody got really the hero talk style it got very insensitive. Like people could only handle being nice for three weeks. There was a couple of weeks of niceness about everything and about everyone. Then it got so mean. It got like the meanest.

The president went from like. I could argue the president had a better role in it. The president went from like empathetically saying we all lost a year to like you hogs take any job. OK, well, that's the current one. Yeah, the current president. Yeah. Like, look, the company that has the presidency in both houses of Congress just got their asses worked by a bunch of sunburned boat guys who own failing Texas Roadhouse franchises. You hogs need to take jobs.

People don't want to work for eight dollars an hour. Yeah. Or like you get anyone to be a white blood cell. you hawks need to take jobs people don't want to work for eight dollars an hour and tips or like you get anyone to be a white blood cell these days and biden had to get on tv and be like you take your take actually white blood cells like in and out they pay very well they get insurance oh good i'm glad yeah um but uh yeah i don't know but that's what we i think we wanted to wait until the the job was done the deed was done, which it's done, COVID's over, and now we can properly tribute their heroes like Dr. Cynthia Lair.

Just in case anyone's listening to this after the fact, COVID is not over. What are you talking about? Just in case someone's listening to you. Please still be cautious. I got a shot. I got two needles in my arm, so therefore it's over. As far as I know.

I'm trying not to think about the phrase triple mutation too much. And other countries struggling, falling apart, patent law. Patent law, hopefully we can get people the patents and we can waive those things for other countries. Also, there are far-flung comedians that we wanted to have on the show that may require some zooming at some point oh yeah that's true no we're not done we're not promising that yeah but hopefully this is the shift where it is mostly yes yeah yeah right now yes we will be we will be together going forward barring i don't know like uh yeah so somebody on zoom here's a good question we could we could really hash out here if somebody's on zoom in another state, will we all get

together here or will we do the old thing and all get on Zoom? What makes more sense? Probably maybe easier to just I think I agree with you. It is probably easier because if you set up one computer and then like headphones going out and then we're all sitting

on a couch like right next to each other and we look like dweebs. we will look like dweebs uh which believe me that never happened on the podcast before otherwise yeah any of the pictures we've posted it's pretty cool uh so maybe that will have to happen if we have a guest uh via satellite but yeah but otherwise we'll be together in some fashion i think this is i think this is a turn here yes uh and you know to that here you know talk amongst yourselves there's something i i think this is the time to do this i have a little treat to celebrate being back together here wait give me one sec oh sure okay let's quickly guess on what he's gonna do i think he's gonna get in a white blood cell costume and come out of the

house and uh do the voice i think he doodled some storyboards or concept art for like a Disney plus series called the doctors where Dr. Cynthia layer. Okay. Is he going to bring Ronald D. Moore out and say, I'm not working with him on this pitch. Oh,

maybe. Is Ronald D. Moore been inside Scott's house for the avatar doctors and Dr. Cynthia layer and Ronald D. Moore is overseeing it all. He's kind of an advisor. You know, he's kind of the... Ronald D. Moore has been babysitting Scott's child while we've been inside. Oh, I think it's a...

No, no, no. I wasn't seeing the kid, obviously. This is a treat. And it's a treat. Well, it is courtesy of me, but really courtesy of Jason. I think this seems like the place to open this. Jason was nice enough a little while ago and brought over a little bit

of the bubbly, and that's not just a random phrase I'm saying. That is the official brand of Chris Jericho's champagne. Yeah, right. Yes. This is the tie-in. You mentioned AEW, All E Wrestling. They are a brand. They're a sponsor of this.

They made this. So, yeah, to celebrate the return. And I think the audience could feel the difference. I mean, and also to be maskless. We are doing this maskless now. And, like, boy, to see your mouths again. This thing's popping off just as much as this bottle's gonna pop off You can feel electricity

We're excited Chris Jericho's wife When she was doing whatever she was doing on January 6th Don't look into it Don't look into it I had already placed that order Don't look into it Don't look into it

That's all I have to say Between now and then Well, no Look, the important thing is the taste and the pop. Here, I'll get this right next to the mic. Here we go. And yeah. Wow.

You actually know how to do that. I was surprised. I was worried I was going to have to work that for a while, and then it would be this long, boring process on the podcast, which pouring this might be. I mean, we don't have to pour it right now, I guess, but why not? Sure, I mean, if you want to do some ASMR. We're doing those breathing sounds.

People are going to want to hear a sip, right? Sure, yeah. They want to hear a sip. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jason actually got me the same gift. I've been waiting. You both have gotten me bottles that I've not popped off yet for saving for some sort of special occasion.

Wait, I do Taramana, right? Yours is Taramana. I still have not had it. Tequila. A likely future Republican candidate for president. No, no. He's a centrist Democrat. He's in the middle of the road, despite the fact that he spoke at the Republican convention in 2000. Different time.

It's a different time, Jason. A different time. Wasting a lot of time here. What else can we do? Well, people are, you can be patient, right? Yeah, they can hear, they can kind of hear that bubble. They can hear the sounds of Jay Leno driving back and forth down the street, hoping he can get a guest spot on the show.

Sure. Thank you. I mean, I'll do the show if you want. Oh, I'd love to, yeah, give a toast to Jay. I'd love to find the Big Dog Garage and, like, toast him. We've got to do an episode of the Big Dog Garage. Yeah. Can we email somebody?

We've got to do that. This has got to be. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jay Leno's Garage is an episode? Boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we'll get in there. Well, lots to We got to do that. This has got to be. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jay Leno's Garage is an episode? Boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we'll get in there. Well, lots to look forward to.

Cheers. You survived Podcast Riot, and we survived the mostly Zoom era. That's the big thing to do. Yes. Hey, we can't clink, and it wouldn't anyway because they're plastic. No, it's true. They're plastic. Yeah.

Made from the same material your son is encased in right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll be fine. He's got like another half hour there at least, so he'll be fine. So that gives me time to, well, first of all, taste test this. What do we think of Chris Jericho's bubbly? Oh, it's not

bad. It's pretty crisp. Yeah, yeah, I like it. Yeah, actually. Yeah, I don't like sweet drinks. It's a little apple juicy almost for me sure for sure yeah this is a little more uh middle of the road so i like that yeah digging this great great endorse him and everything that he and his family do officially um i'm gonna google this I'm going to Google this later and be horrified by whatever I've said. But, okay, so keep it tuned to this feed for more in-person episodes. I think this is the turn.

And more, of course, also on the second gate, where we've got three bonus episodes every month at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. Well, we did it. And these little bubbles will now miniaturize into our stomach. Be a fun process to watch. That's also a way to plus it up. Like, what does it look like physically to watch the inebriation process take place?

That seems like a fun... That should be at some more of an adult park or something. That's the Epcot Festival. That's for the people wearing the kooky t-shirts. Oh, right. The drunky shirts. Yeah.

Yeah. That's for food and wine. And the food and wine festival should have a specific ride. That would certainly plus that up. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Or they should, like, on one of the boat rides, they should just, like, dye the... Why can't I think of the...

Living with the land, they should dye the water like alcohol colored or just dump alcohol in there and you can take a scoop out of it as you're driving as you're riding well you got me i'm in now living with the land scott's favorite ride it suddenly jumps from last to first and and in the halfway through the ride some guys jump out and need your help and it's robert mondavi charlesutter, and Josh of Josh Wine. Oh, yeah. Josh of Josh Wine. Oh, I gotta help Josh.

I can't leave Josh hanging. Oh, man. Josh. We gotta talk more about Josh after this episode. I will help any winemaker in need. I will be their Braddock. For everyone listening,

be a Braddock to somebody in your life. If that means getting the vaccine to keep everybody safe, then do it. Yes, be a Braddock to somebody in your life if that means getting the vaccine to keep everybody safe, then do it yes, be a Braddock and get vaccinated be a Braddock have a Braddock-y week everyone bye, goodbye

forever dog this has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Mike Carlson Jason Sheridan Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.