Podcast: The Ride - Bullwinkle's with Jordan Morris

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

Jordan Morris (Jordan Jesse Go!) brings us the gift of an (almost) dead chain of robot restaurants starring the Rocky and Bullwinkle characters. How have we not done 4 episodes on this place already?�� New Star Tours Levels (2024) is up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide  FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever Dog. to loudly clack with us about mostly defunct robot restaurant chain Bullwinkles on Podcast The Ride, where today's topic is about to trigger a live Vince McMahon meme. Here, I'll get you guys in. I'm Scott Gardner, this is Mike Carlson, this is Jason Sheridan. In case you all want to do this with me. You know what I mean, Vince, and our guest, Jordan, too. Let's jump around. No, thank you. I would love to be part of the meme.

I'll do a better intro. And if I'm thinking of the same meme, it is a four-panel meme anyway, so having a fourth guy. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's just all hear. I'll kind of call. I will do the captions on the side, and if you remember, yes, it's the four panels, and you'll see what I'm doing here. Okay. four panels of and you'll you'll see what i'm what i'm doing here uh okay uh so today's topic

kids pizza restaurant with arcade and go-karts an animatronic band themed after mostly forgotten characters from the 1960s. Ah! Red eyes! Red eyes! The galaxy brain. That was the thought process as this topic was presented to us. By now, here returning to the show with a proper intro, a friend of the show who hasn't been on in far too long, from Jordan Jesse Go Goh and from the new writer of the new graphic novel Youth Group available for pre-order now

Jordan Morris. Hello. Hi. Hi. Thanks for having me back. Yeah, of course. Thank you. Thank you for suggesting it. Bringing this topic up. Bullwinkle's restaurant slash play place arcade. It's one of

the showrooms. Yes experience fountain shows uh dancing water show what don't they have yeah yeah in some cases go-karts i don't know yeah yeah we will figure out the the full breadth of of what they had and this is a topic that has been on the podcast the right to-do list i'd say for a very long time yeah i remember making some list of like we're starting the second gate this could be a good one it was it came up in a club three poll at some point but with jordan it has to be main feed and you know what it needed to be main feed oh yeah this has main feed written all over yes it's a really strong uh yeah area and a really good brand i mean it's it's one of those where actually last

night jordan we were at they were hanging out at the same birthday party after you left somebody asked what are you doing on podcast the ride soon i said jordan is coming on to talk about bullwinkles and one person at the table had no idea what i was talking about and the other two were like whoa wow they were they did live yeah uh they did live vince mcmahon's i think it really depends on what part of the country you're in but if you were near one of these and went to one of these i think it's a big deal yeah yeah so a lot of southern california locations pacific northwest and canada that was those were all that was bullwinkle's country okay okay yes and like maybe some stray ones in like wait i have a list of kind of the odd uh where they were uh you know myrtle beach pensacola florida grand rapids michigan but

other than that mainly uh california and then uh jeddah saudi arab Inexplicably. Don't know. Not even one like, not Europe, not Asia, but Saudi Arabia. Really weird. The strangest, spottiest brand. And just as we're getting basics out, this is based on the Rocky and Bullwinkle world of characters. The Jay Ward world of characters, the Jay Ward world of characters, the show that aired in various names, but basically Rocky and Bullwinkle from 1959 to 1964. But this chain was mainly an 80s phenomenon that went away.

There's a commercial for it. I think this dates it pretty well. There's a commercial for it where Bullwinkle is making fax machine jokes. you guys see this i think i was i have a commercial loaded up but it's not this one i should have loaded up this one it's like you know he's saying it's something like the the you know narrator who he would always banter with in the cartoons was saying like you know bullwinkle just give me the facts and then Bullwinkle says something about a fax machine he's like hey kid what about this new technology so I think

this chain was at its height around the time that fax machine jokes were hot and I think it's that commercial or it might be another one where the tagline is really good food and that's it

really good food and not even like plus games plus like no it just says that and then it shows some of the ugliest pictures of like bar food you've ever seen this is the original draft was good food and then someone's like can we plus this up yeah yeah like cameron writing the dollar sign by alien. James Cameron came in, wrote really. We've hired James Cameron to consult on this child's pizza restaurant. I mean, they have bumper boats. You can't tell me James Cameron doesn't love bumper boats.

That's a good quest. Yeah, he must have at some time. James, James, we have to eat dinner before you get. I see you, I. Boots. I had two bites, Mom. I had two bites. Do you think he has a bumper boat thing on his estate,

wherever he lives? I bet he has bumpers on his submarine. Oh, yeah. So he can bump other millionaires in their submarine while they're exploring various trenches making documentaries. That's just a fun thing, though. It's just a fun little love tap. It is, of course. Yeah. Bumper, it's not aggressive. That's just a fun thing, though. It's just a fun little love tap. It is, of course. Yeah.

It's not aggressive. They're just a little bit of a razzin'. I see you down there. One thing I do want to say, I don't think we've said it yet. Bullwinkle still around. Kind of. Ish. Ish.

Sort of. Not fully. But you know what? More than I thought. A little more than I thought. Let me throw it to Jordan, because also you can speak from experience at the level of still around.

But personal experience with Bullwinkles, why did you bring this to the table with us? Yeah, I loved Bullwinkle as a kid. Loved the cartoons, loved those old Jay Ward shorts. I think they were rerunning in Saturday morning TV when we were kids. And I loved them. Loved that they were a little self-aware. He talks to the narrator.

He talks to the camera. I loved this. Made me feel smart. Clever meta. Yeah, exactly. And more than, yeah, yeah. He was the Deadpool of his day. Bullwinkle.

Just as twisted as the Merc with the Mouth. Fourth walls, what are those? Yeah. So yeah, and we would go to Bullwinkle's. It was like a special treat. I believe we went to the, oh boy, we went to the Anaheim Bullwinkle's, I believe. Oh, okay.

And it was special for a lot of reasons. I loved the animatronic show, obviously. Gorgeous animatronics, some of my favorite characters. I think it was the first place i had waffle fries and it was the first place i played teenage mutant ninja turtles turtles in time well one of the greatest arcade games ever made two milestones for childhood sure yeah yeah uh and then anything else out about turtles in time while we have while turtles in time has the floor. I'm not super familiar with it, actually. I know that first arcade game so much more. Yes.

You know what? Actually, in the arcades, I ended up playing the first one more. There wasn't a good Turtles in Time cabinet near me growing up. That's my memory. Turtles in Time was like a rare white elk. Like, you'd see it every now and then. Like, in an arcade, you didn't go to. During a full moon, the mist would roll in.

This morning it'd be gone. Staying at a hotel, I feel like family hotels, I wonder if it's still the same. But family hotels, I was always like, all right, there is an arcade. What's in here? What's this grab bag going to be? And every now and then it would be Turtles in Time. It was hard to find in our area. I don't know why.

You know what, Mike? You couldn't have had it all. You know, Schomburg, you had everything. You had every experimental restaurant. I know, but we... You had Caesar Land. It'd be unfair if you had your way. And I think it made you a stronger kid and a stronger adult today.

Well, thank you for saying that. I do believe that. I will say. Screaming at Mike like you had a happy childhood. Cut this with test out concepts. You got to have the McDLT before any of us. You don't understand. He sold a hot dog at the McDonald's at Woodfield.

God damn it. I still remember what McPizza tastes like. You had it for six months longer. I will say what I do own is, though, from the Game Turtles in Time is figures of Pirate Bebop and Rocksteady. Hey, yeah. Because they go back in time and they're pirates. Gorgeous.

You have those figures? And I have these figures, yeah. Okay, okay. So I have back in time and they're pirates. Gorgeous. You have those figures. And I have these figures, yeah. Okay, okay. So I have some Turtles in Time figures. And I have the whole collection now, like on PS5, the whole Turtle collection of all the games and the arcade games. So I've played it. I've honestly played it more recently than I have when I was younger.

But it's a cool game. It's superior to the original, I think, because they traveled through time. For sure. And that made it better. Yes, yeah, yeah. I agree. Self-explanatoryplanatory sure how do you top that um okay well that's all that's all major stuff and that's i feel like i've been to that one post bullwinkle ization yeah um because this that's a kind of an interesting thing about the brand is that they are, the remnants of them are around a lot. It's not like they all closed and just became, you know, orphanages or smelting facilities.

Ghost kitchens. Yeah, Mr. Beast's ghost kitchens. So many of, like you may, especially in Southern California and kind of south of Los Angeles, if you see a mini golf course, a batting cage, these kinds of things, it may well have been a Bullwinkle's in the 80s and 90s. Yeah. I think what happened is that most of them became boomers, or at least the one in Upland, California became boomers. Yeah, okay. The chain where everything is themed like a cbs procedural i don't know where everybody can buy a house for 30 000 bucks

gotta be something there uh that's good it's a place where you can go to be the incredibly cocky about every decision you've ever made right yes it's a place to go to be radicalized by youtube um maybe that's the one houses yes and have a few houses um yeah and i but i guess what's happening in upland california now very exciting they are transitioning from a boomers back to a bullwinkle so i went to the upland one and they are slowly adding in the bullwinkle theming wow because i guess the community demanded it wow geez yeah that. Yeah, that's what I feel like. I think I watched a little local news report about that or read an article about how it's always still Bullwinkles to them.

They can put this boomers brand. Listeners might have a boomers near you. It's kind of a nothing compared to if you grew up with those characters. You see Bullwinkles on a restaurant, and you have your associations with these characters, and if not him, then that whole world, and Peabody and Sherman and Dudley Do-Right and all of them. There's so many things that you're flashing to.

And then this oddly generic Bland Boomers branding. It's the Westfield of mini golf courses. I don't know what it, like Jason, I think you were saying before we started, it's just, it's mysterious. What does it mean? There's never any justification. Who is boomer, you know?

Yeah, it's just cooing through the website. Like, oh, damn, the theme seems to be families enjoying themselves. Like, what? Is there nothing weird in this?'s not enough what is it we're all we're all part of we're all experiencing seal with the rollerblades i don't know something yes that's all it would take it could look like shit it could be the worst clip art graphic design ever right but give us a character we're simple men. Yeah. We just want a dumb half-assed even character.

An ostrich with a surfboard under his wing. I don't know. Put any animal in a Navy outfit and we're on board. It doesn't matter what it is. Uh-huh. Yeah. Eye patch, peg leg. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's pirate.

That's full pirate. That's mythology. That's a back story. He had to get them from somewhere. He had accidents somehow. Possum scrubbing the deck. You know, with a toothbrush. You're a mom.

Okay. That'd be great. Yeah, yeah. Being punished by Captain Boomer. Yeah. What did he do? Did he mouth off? Did he try to take control of the ship?

This is great. It's like with very little. The possum tried gonna have some mutiny peeling potatoes yeah get that in there i don't care oh children like go karts still yes but what world are they existing in what is the mythology um yeah it's it's it's bland it's nothing i never liked any graphic design i've ever seen from the boomers camp the facilities themselves sure i'll take any family fun center these have been a really nice part of uh having having a child and remembering that like oh these are four children and not you

to go to and bitch about lack of character yes yeah yeah yeah oh that's right i'm watching sincere smiles as i take a kid around an arcade great beer tap selection losers uh i did go to the upland one that is you know in betwixt the boomers betwixt the boomers and the bullwinkles with a friend who brought his kids and they had a blast they really had fun oh good um so yeah so yeah i know the power of these places you know they they stick around for a reason kids love them yeah yeah the um and it's cool the community specifically held on to bullwinkles and that it would have meant something to them this now your trip to the upland location is no small feat because that's like an hour from where you live correct something like that i'm a little

you know i'm in altadena so i'm freeway close. Okay, sure. Part that way. Maybe 40 minutes, so not a huge pain in the butt. But decently long. Did it feel like a little insane or a little risky? Are you like, what am I doing? Am I going to go there and find something rinky-dink or not for me? I don't know. Was there any worry in the transit to Bullwinkle's full of far away it's got tons tons of worry uh I'm glad I just said my friend who came with me uh Jesse Thorne who I

co-host my podcast you go with he came and he brought his uh brought his wife and kids everybody had a great time uh the kids actually knew the Bullwinkle characters and were bummed that there wasn't more Bullwinkle's characters yes Because it seems like from what I've- There's hope for the future generations. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's something I've wondered is like, because I don't, I guess I could see that this started, no, hang on.

It doesn't make sense. I was going to say, I could see why this started going away because the characters were not really past the future generations, but they made that movie. These started going extinct in 2002, but that movie where with weirdly robert

de niro as a character who isn't even one of the main characters he's fearless leader he's fearless leader right the nazi coded villain ah yeah oh that's so that's why he did there's depth here there's like uh you know can i play a likable villain a challenge like any de niro role would have there was a big resurgence of all that stuff especially in the 90s because it was everywhere Can I play a likable villain? A challenge like any De Niro role would have. There was a big resurgence of all that stuff, especially in the 90s, because it was everywhere, and it was cool, I feel like,

to like it even, too. But I feel like the movie is like the nail in the coffin for its resurgence. Maybe. That's like the pinnacle of like, hey, it's going to be here forever. They flew too close to the sun. Yes.

I was so excited. I think we went to see that movie opening weekend, and I was so disappointed by it because in the 90s, Rocky and Bullwinkle aired on both Nickelodeon and Nick at Night. Yeah, yeah. That hadn't really happened. It happened maybe once before, but I just thought that was so cool, and I love those characters

and then they show up at Islands of Adventure. Well, that's what I was going to say is like they were so popular that they were like, Dudley Do-Right is going to be the basis for one of the big major rides here. Yes, there's a new theme park in 1999 and we're putting a lot into Dudley Do-Right.

Dudley Do-Right is going to have his Splash Mountain here. Yeah. It's pretty wild. his Splash Mountain here. Yeah. It's pretty wild. Just before we get too far away from the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie, the writer of that film, Kenneth Lonergan, who wrote Manchester by the Sea and Gangs of New York, You Can Count on Me. Wow.

Oh, my God. Really? He's like the sole credited screenwriter on that. That's insane. You said his name and I'm like i know that name yeah i'm also like okay you your eye went to that i'm on the wikipedia looking at the cast which is robert de niro renee russo uh randy quaid who's uh wild now but was an oscar nominee that you know billy crystal jonathan winters john goodman janine garofalo paget bruster

carl reiner uh whoopi goldberg james rebhorn great character actor james rebhorn keenan and kell are in it wow uh i didn't know that hyper paraben it's a it's an insane cat this is a robert de niro billy crystal john goodman vehicle from the writer of Manchester by the Sea that I don't think I've ever heard anyone like. Yeah, I don't think so. I've never heard a good opinion about this movie. I mean, I love the characters, and I still haven't seen the movie. I'm more curious now, having kind of been boning up on Rocky and Bowling.

Has anyone seen this movie? I haven't. The 1992 Boris and Natasha movie starring Dave Thomas. This always confused me. No way. I would see this VHS case and like, huh? What are you talking about? But it's not a cartoon?

No, it's not a cartoon. No. Boy, I haven't thought about that probably since I was seven years old in the video store. 1992. Whoa. Boris and Natasha movie. It's not seemingly- Who's Natasha?

Natasha is, hold on, Sally Kellerman. Hmm. Oh. Boris and Natasha movie. It's not seemingly. Who's Natasha? Natasha is hold on, Sally Kellerman. Oh my god. From MASH? Yes. Yes, from MASH. Hot Lips from MASH is Natasha. Andrea Martin? Wait, John Travolta is in this film? Andrea Martin, yeah.

Andrea Martin? I've not seen it. Oh my god. This feels like a movie. Written by Mr. Julia Louis-Dreyfus Bradhall. Wow. John Candy's in it. Wow. So they're tapping into the SCTV, like the most quality group of people,

and yet this did not come to, well, God, maybe this was just not meant to, it was not meant to be translated to any even half live action medium. This feels like a movie that's a trick for podcast. Like, I'm going to get a copy from the library or find it streaming on Amazon, and a big net will be put over me.

Like, it's a trap. Is somebody trying to eliminate podcasters? No, just trying to, like, yeah, I don't know, eliminate or... Okay, so the scheme is they planted a fake movie from 1992 about Boris and Natasha, which they know you like. Yeah. So they know, okay, any day now he's coming into the library because Jason's not paying for that movie.

He's renting that for free. I'm a big DVD from the library guy. I'm with you, Jason. I'm with you. I've gone- Love a DVD from the library. Sworn up and down about how great the Burbank Library's Movie collection is

But also I'm looking it up Buena Vista Branch Great branch I got Cobra there the other day Oh cool Blu-ray? No regular DVD It's a limited Blu-ray selection

But how are they expected to have it wide They do have a lot of Blu-rays But I pulled up the Just Watch page, which is my choice of finding where stuff is streaming, and it's really only available to rent on Amazon. Oh, okay. Interesting. By the way, I don't think this is at the library. I mean, this will really be the test of the Burbank Library System.

Right, if it has it. I just don't think this. It doesn't seem like one that needs to be preserved for future generations. They don't have any VHS left at the library, do they? I bet they did have it on VHS. That's a very good point. Well, I think they also get a lot from the studios, from Universal and Warner Brothers, I think, donates a lot.

I see. Okay, well, i don't know if that's worth a further investigation jason will maybe but i mean i think i think it like it speaks to like how beloved the characters were all of these people said yes to these things and we haven't even mentioned the brendan frazier oh yeah right and George of the Jungle movies. These guys are part of this averse as well. Two forays into the voice of Rocky June Foray. Yes, but this is, I'm saying two forays by Brendan. That's crazy.

That's really strange. That was everywhere. Nobody thought that, were they like, no, I think it helps. I think he proved that he fits in the tone. I say do give him a second one. But they were wrong, right? Because Dudley Do-Right is not particularly well regarded.

I think people like George of the Jungle, they don't really like Dudley Do-Right. Am I wrong? That feels right. I don't feel like anyone ever talks about Dudley Do-Right. I mean, I'm a Do-Right head. Really? Yeah. So, you know, you're asking the wrong guy.

I love him. I love Snidely Whiplash. Is that true? Okay, so you do, yeah, you are into those characters. Yeah. And they were present at the restaurant. Yeah, absolutely. You got a Snidely Whiplash when you come in.

He's behind bars. It's an animatronic. He's like, get me out. In the lobby before the main show. That's really nuts. That's so cool. You know, I was even stoked to see Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumlee in the restaurant as a kid. Don Adams.

Don Adams, sure. Very exciting. I was on a path of discovery. I saw a website that was talking about Tennessee. I already don't remember. I can't believe you've been doing the show for this long. And this is the first time Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumlee are coming up. You're here for PTR history.

No, I don't. Yeah. Despite the Don Adams. No, because they were in the animatronic band in maybe just one of the locations. And then I'm like, what's going on? And Chumlee, and because I've never heard of Chumlee, I'm like,

what? Chumlee is a walrus with human hands? What does that mean? Why? And he does the dumb guy voice for cartoons. Oh, I know that voice. He's the... Oh, I know Chumlee now that you do that. Thank you. That was very good. Moose from Archie.

The duh. I don't even know. Yeah, the one's like a beanpole, and the one's real big, you know? Okay, okay. The one's got a hat. But they were not regularly in the band. Because if we haven't said this, it's an animatronic band, a la Chuck E. Cheese, but it's all of these characters uh and not

necessarily contained to write it's the whole jaywardiverse uh uh all playing instruments all in like it's kind of a folksy i would say that the the vibe is this like pacific northwest cedar lodge where like totem poles would be in play. And it's a very totem pole vibe on the stage where all the locations had at least, bare minimum, Rocky and Bullwinkle animatronics. And one of them's playing a jug and the other one's playing a boxy wood guitar.

It's a bare jamboree vibe. It's not completely the same vibe, but it's close, it's a family. Yeah, kind of a hee-haw structure to the show. We do a little one-liner and now a song. Yeah, it's kind of vaudevill-y. So you at least got that. If nothing else, Rocky and Bullwinkle on banjo,

Rocky on a fiddle, then maybe the band is expanding, depending on the ambition of the restaurant. You might have Underdog, not really said until now, on saxophone. Boris and Natasha factor in. I love this, that Boris and Natasha are the, like, masthead on the top. It's great. Sort of like a little totem pole. So they are represented in more of a carved in wood fashion.

Right. But they do come to life and interject and are sort of the Statler and Waldorf or maybe or more the moose and buffalo on the wall. Oh, yeah. Buff Max and... Oh, Melvin? Melvin.. Oh, yeah. Buff Max and... Oh, Melvin? Melvin.

Melvin, yeah. Yeah, there you go. So, you know, they're taking cues from the way Disney is doing things, but not exactly one-to-one. It's not a full rip-off. But then I think only in Santa Clara, the first location,

do you have Tennessee Tuxedo, Chumlee, Hoppity Hooper, who is a frog who plays the first location, do you have Tennessee Tuxedo, Chumlee, Hoppity Hooper, who is a frog who plays the harmonica, and maybe more locations had Tudor Turtle on the drums. Not fully sure about full Tudor. The one had Dudley. Oh, and big thing I'm

forgetting, yes. Dudley Do-Right is like the side stage, like Big Al. And they play Big Al, similar beats to Big Al, where he's like the one encountering problems. Yes. Where his cue is wrong

or they close the curtain on him on purpose. They play into the Dudley bumbling. The Dudley bumbling. But of course, Underdog has his famous saxophone. Yes, of course. We all remember when Underdog would wail on the sax. But I found this picture of him and he, I don't know,

in this picture he looks like he's smoking a damn bong. This picture. Because it just looks kind of strange. You should be excited. This should be like, hell yeah, brother. Look, dream blunt rotation, me and underdog and no one else. Underdog, Chumlee. Chumlee and Tennessee Tuxedo Can come too

And of course his alter ego Shoe Shine Boy Right that's right Underdog's alter ego That was underdog Clark Kent I watched the first underdog short Because a thing One thing about Bullwinkle's The audio of this is strangely

Well preserved on YouTube Yeah I know. There are, you can kind of listen to the sketches over stills of the restaurant. Yes. And yeah, there's only some video of the animatronics. But yeah, all this audio seems to have been uploaded. And I'd forgotten Underdog's voice. Because I feel like in the Bullwinkle's audio, he sounds very droopy dog.

But Wally Cox, the voice of Underdog, did not do droopy dog. Different. It was Dawes Butler, right? No, no. That was Huckleberry Hound. Sorry. Dawes Butler was Huckleberry Hound. I'm sorry.

I'll cut this out. No, this is the good stuff. I know. Damn, Michael. But yeah, it does seem like most of the voice actors are doing their voices for the restaurant, which is cool. It is Rocky and Bullwinkle, which I think they, yeah, they insisted on. Let's get the real guys.

Jordan, when you were a kid, did you, where did this fall in sort of the hierarchy of robot restaurants? Was this maybe your number one or were you a Chucky guy? Oh, I mean, Chucky was fine. We had a close Chucky. You know, I'm not anti-Chucky. Sure. But this is, I mean. This was number one. This you a Chucky guy? Oh, I mean, Chucky was fine. We had a close Chucky. You know, I'm not anti-Chucky. Sure. But this is, I mean.

This was number one. This was a special trip. This was a good report card. This was like cousins are in town and we want to show those cousins a good time. Okay. Yeah, I love this. We probably only went a handful of times,

but when I, you know, when I, maybe it was on the way to Vegas, driving by Upland and seeing from the freeway, the like coming soon bullwinkles, just a flood of nostalgia. I'm like, oh my God, bullwinkles. And yeah, it was really like magical. I had to pull over and go to sleep.

Calm down, just calm down. Just calm down, just sleep it off. Sleep it off the nostalgia wave. And yeah, and then like, and then like watching. So there's a lot of corporate videos that are on YouTube for this place. You can watch their pitch video and like, you know. Taking you around the basics of the,

yeah, see Bullwinkle's location. And yeah, and I don't wanna live in the past. I know nostalgia can be toxic, but watching the videos of this place in the late 80s, I'm like, look what they took from us. This was beautiful. The waitstaff were all dressed like Mounties. I mean, it's gorgeous.

Well, it's in that, because my fuzzy baby brain, first five years of my life, I just remember so much pleasant, calming brown. And I never went to a Bullwinkle's, but anywhere that i liked anywhere that made me feel really comfortable in the first years of my life had some calm brown or perhaps bricks or those like you know kind of the orange or red bricks that malls used to have before they kind of blandified all the malls and then like wood carved signs with complimentary colors to brown and kind of like a in a reddish orange a

fiery orange and this place i just i'm watching this i think the same corporate video as you and like god i would have locked on to this place like everything i was after in the late 80s this this had it all aesthetically it is such a bummer it is is so, is anything close to that, like pleasing wise now? Is it just from your baby brain or do you think there is something to that? It feels like there is, but maybe it's just a trick. Yeah, I don't know if there was anything inherent to the two 80s brown.

Yeah. But it's certainly something I'm fixated on. It's the family ties aesthetic scheme. That's really what I, musically and visually and font-wise, I chase it. I want as much of that around as possible. Sure. But I don't know if it actually is superior or calm.

A lot of people might see that kind of thing and think, like, stodgy, out of date, grandma. Cigarette staining. Yeah. Well, that's good. Yeah, you're right. That's what happens. I'm sure there was smoking allowed in every bowl probably reeked a hundred percent they didn't even bring it up in the video because bringing it up makes it a thing it wasn't a thing you know it's an

establishment smoke you smoke smoke and yet there was a you know uh so there's the showroom for the kids but there's also like what is it called it is called dudley's den for the parents to retreat to and it's a little more calm whoa what if we kissed at dudley's den as the meme goes i mean the dudley's den is kind of beautiful i bet you know i bet a lot of this was a lot of key parties got negotiated yeah dudley's den take your nail to dudley's den this was because this was the old juggy Cheese as well, they had the parents' rooms. Right.

And so that's what Dolly Dimples would play with the divorcee hippopotamus. Right. Or the beach bowsers. Or the beach bowsers. So they did have rooms for the parents.

I think those are gone. I mean, the rooms exist, but that's- Yeah, they put more games in them. Boom, thumbs down or whatever,

but it doesn't feel like there's catering. There should be nothing in here. Where are mom and dad going to go to connect? I have recently started showing my daughter Chuck E. Cheese videos, including the new ones. Chuck E., me and my friends and stuff, and she does a little of the dance, and she does munch and stuff. That's nice. Very adorable.

Then I will put on- She's just going to get into bowling for soup, Mike. It's okay. It's okay. If that starts you on the pop ball. If you don't think that's what Mike's fishing for. If that starts you on the pop ball. If you don't think that's what Mike's fishing for. If that starts you on the train, that's fine. Isn't that the guy who does Chuck E. Cheese now?

The Bowling for Soup? Yeah, Jarrett Reddick or something? Don't ask us, Mike. Jarrett, yeah. I follow him. I follow him on Instagram. Of course, of course. But then I do put on some of the old stuff, see how she responds to it.

And it is just for parents. That is what's interesting about it. The new stuff is like, oh, you get a little funny little joke once in a while. But the old stuff is just written for parents. Chucky is smoking a cigar. He's unnerving. He insults Jasper. He calls him like a dimwit or something.

There aren't jokes. It's just like a bunch of stuff. Yeah. We're going to do a show. Oh, sounds good. I want to break it. It actually isn't written like. bunch of stuff. Yeah. We're going to do a show. Oh, sounds good. I'm going to freak out. It's really, it actually isn't written like. Bullwinkles is.

Bullwinkles has the cleverness of. Yes. Yeah. But I guess I just mean it's not, there's no gentleness to be like, what do kids like? It's just adult characters like behaving badly in front of children. And then like, and then there's other rooms more for parents not that show that i'm talking about is for everyone for the kids there's a screening room where they just would show the ice store stag films dad can go and jack off with his buddies

the kids could go in the ball pit. And cry. And cry, yes. Of course. That's how we part out. They're showing nudist documentaries at Chuck E. Cheese. Some of the robots are naked back there. Go ahead, take a gander.

I like when you look. You want to show off. Because we do our Chuck E. voice sometimes, and he has an insane caricature. But when I'm watching this, I'm like, it's not that far off. He's crazy. This cigar-smoking mouse, or rat, is crazy. He's a crazy drunk man. Yeah, he's incredibly sleazy. So it's funny, though, to just be like, oh, yeah, everything's too catered to children now.

Not for dance. The problem today is- The problem is- Put it back in the bowler and the tux and tails. He wears, they do it together, we got it video with the new puppets, which is one of the famous Chucky songs together. Yeah, Jordan, do you have any idea what that was rushed by? They do it together, we got it.

So anyway- We got it. I'm using context. No need to fill our guests in. Listen, I can use context clues. I listen to the show, I know. It's like their big hit. It's the big Chucky hit. I'm prepared to argue about Goo Goo fill our guests in. Listen, I can use context clues. I listen to the show. I know. It's like their big hit.

It's the big Chucky hit. I'm prepared to argue about Goo Goo Dolls if it comes to it. Yeah, yeah. No, the other we got is their black balloon. Yes. But they do put the little puppet Chucky in like a little vest and bolt. They do give you a little of the old outfit, but it's not the full cigar or whatever. Full munch. Well, here, let's, you know, we need to discuss your specific visit more, Jordan, but really quick.

I mean, I figured this would be the episode to talk about it. Yeah. It is relevant that my little boy just turned four and we locked into, I think, the best place to possibly do a birthday party, which is the one Chuck E. Cheese that kept the robots, which is in Northridge, California. It happens to be my childhood one, which is really strange that that became the only one that kept the robots. And could we have done it at any, at a much closer Chuck E. Cheese,

more convenient to more Pasadena Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, there's, there are so many, but no, we chose robots over convenience and no regrets about that but here's how this played out is that we get there and first of all rope dropping a Chuck E. Cheese is really something

where we're arriving slightly before 10am when it opens to which is the start of our party and in doing so we are watching the employees be dropped off by their parents. The employees who are half our age checking in for work. And then the, yes, the 17-year-old maybe who's like the party host who like,

okay, so we've got this and we can do lemonade for the kids and here's the wristbands. And is there anything else you guys need? And my wife's like, no, no, no, we're great. Everything's wonderful. Actually, there is something. There is something.

Why is the curtain closed? You know, we chose this one because it is the one with the robot. So if you were just at some point, if you could open the curtains and it took so long, and she's like, oh, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah. But I don't think it's a request she's getting a lot.

Right. And I don't think it was going to naturally happen without me asking for it. So it did happen. Me and my same-age friends all lit up about it. And no one else, the parents, my parents didn't like it. The children did not like it the music was so quiet the clacking was twice as loud as the music and then the curtain closed after one song and it was clear that that was all they were prepared to do then i asked to do

could we do one more because there were some late comers can we see them one more time even less interest from the children this time. Then Michael shows up. We were late. That baby's sleep schedule was effed up after she came back from San Diego with Lindsay. And so we were late. So Scott says, okay, for the show,

you have to ask for it. And he is polite enough to ask the 17-year-old for the third time. For the third time. The third time in two hours she's a party host that's what she's supposed to and by the way

the most friendly the most accommodating with all of the things that mattered this was the smoothest I by the way recommend to parents Chuck E. Cheese birthday is great the pizza got better it is a very well-run operation the only sticking point was that i think we're the only psycho parents who've asked to see these robots in the

recent past so yeah you get there late enough that we're like we're still there but we're clearing out and even and the birthday boy is losing patience and i'm like are you eating pizza at 10 a.m uh i did i salad bar at 10 a.m yeah i didn't think i would but then like I don't know it's in front of me and their pizza did get better so yeah I'm having 10.45 pizza why not being so late also it's a stressful thing because I'm like Lindsay you have to remember this is the one with the robot like I'm explaining like

does the baby does she have to eat breakfast in the chair can't she eat it on the road like there are things I'm trying to get like negotiate let's toss a to get like negotiate in the car seat and let's get up there yeah i'm like i go i go millennial in the bedroom oh north i go because they've announced northridge is the only places they're actually having the robots so like there's a whole thing going on there and i was like it's like oh well it's really too late to

go i go but i would really like to see these robots yeah and also in none of this factors uh my family or my son that is there's none of that in your oh yes no hurry well at that is about munch let's be clear this is about much well the reason it's not even coming into it's because like because we were just like they're going to leave yes yeah we want to go to this but they won't be there if we are this late so i'm like yes but you understand the robots are there the robots are what we we need to even if we are this late. So I'm like, yes, but you understand the robots are there. The robots are what we need to, even if we show up and everyone is gone, the robots will be there. We can still watch the robots.

Yes. Alone. Of course. So your daughter can shift around and try to leave while you watch the robots. Of course. Lindsay, perhaps the same. Probably.

She didn't say that to be nice to me, but probably. What's got, she actually, the party host, did go back and fire it up. It's just, it's run on a Windows XP machine with a floppy disk drive. So that's how long it took to get started. Yeah, that's a 20-minute startup, and then she closed it, so it had to happen again. Yeah. So Scott asks the 17 year old and she's so yeah we'll do we'll do she goes back there did you ask twice or once um i think i did

once and then i said we gotta go if you want it you gotta ask and i actually don't know how things played out for you and that's why i'm bringing it up on the show so what happened is yes again we were so late everybody left and we were at ch Cheese in Northridge, which is not the quickest place to go to. No, no, no. So I was like, well, we're here. Let's enjoy it. So I asked her again. I said, oh, excuse me.

Is there any way we could see the robot? She goes, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I forgot. I'll check on her. She says something like that. And I go, OK. So we're like lingering. And then like my daughter wants to go do other things.

She doesn't want to sit by these tables my daughter wants to go do other things. She doesn't want to sit by these tables. She wants to go investigate where all the other kids are. And I'm just like, but we're going to miss the show. If it starts, it's going to start any minute. Yeah. So we're lingering too long. I see her one more time and I ask again. And she says sort of like a similar thing.

And at that point I go, this is not happening we are not seeing the show so we're like walking around like through the games and and my daughter's climbing on things and doing stuff or whatever i'm just keep my eye on it i'm like the show ain't happening it's not happening listen for clacking just have your have your ears open for the clacking of eyes opening and closing lind is like, yeah. She's like, you want to ask again? I go, I'm not asking the 17-year-old again. I'm too old to be asking again.

That's okay. This is our punishment for being late. So you left the Chuck E. Cheese disappointed. The child had a ball. Not only did I leave the Chuck E. Cheese disappointed, but I am 85% sure that this Chuck E. Cheese gave my daughter her first awful cold of her life. No, no, Mike, no. Oh, no, no, no. She's fine now.

Oh, no. It was bound to happen because we don't do a turn with her. Oh, you said she's been sick. Oh, no, Mike, no. Look, I would only say it on Mike because it's funny for the audience. I would not have put it on. It's not your fault. No, you're not. I know you're not. It's not your fault. We don't do too much.

She's got to go indoors someday. Right. We stay out a lot. We don't do a ton with her. She's had a little mini colds, but this was a fucking cold. Well, we have now looped back around to... It's a kind of cold you can only get from a ball pit, right? It's so funny that the Chuck E. Cheese is likely the culprit.

For a leg of you weren't there in less than an hour. Well, we... Oh, my... Well, I'm sorry. No, no apology. I'm sorry for being so late. We have now... Yeah, you should have been there in the hour when there wasn't cold going around.

All of the 11 o'clock hour children were fine. There would be... Yeah, of course. Yes, one of those nooners showed up and uh coughed all over your daughter uh we have now looped around to why at least my parents did not like places like this it was actually funny being the cause of my parents going back for the first time in 35 years and they were like they were like shuddering at it were you guys no okay now you were saying about bullwinkles jordan that this was a family like no we like it this is a yeah i wonder if i

wish to ask my mom how she felt about our trips to bullwinkles if she would be like oh yeah i fucking hated that place but yeah it did to me it's a fun family memory and i think i don't remember any like bullwinkles meltdowns or anything like that okay yeah I think we had a I think we had a good time well here's the I think what might be here this might be the the theory because I think we've already discussed some things that might be more quality about Bullwinkle's than Chuck E. Cheese uh but when I brought it up uh last night the the consensus was um actually good food and actually good animatronics. There was a sense of like it's a little,

it was actually a little more Disney level. Do you agree with that? Yeah, I mean, I think that the, you know, you get to see the menus in those corporate videos and, you know, not just pizza, but deep dish and thin crust, salad bar that themed after Dudley D. Wright's girlfriend. What was her name?

Nell. Nell. Nell gets the salad bars. Nell's salad bar. I's girlfriend. What was her name? Nell. Nell. Nell gets the salad bar. Nell's salad bar. And they also say that the salad bar has mousselinous dressing, which is a good pun, but it sounds disgusting. You know what's in the dressing, though, right? It's not just different liquids that were in this facility to begin with.

It's mousselinous. It's like Thous different liquids that were in this facility to begin with. It's first-line-ious. It's like Thousand Island French and Catalina, whatever gross 90s dressing. I do not remember what is in it. Yeah, creamy Italian. Creamy Italian. The 90s were a big decade for creamy Italian. There will be a nearly empty bottle of oil and red wine vinegar. That's kind of gross yeah uh that same video goes right

into a breakdown of the pizzas which i have queued up right now yes this is well wait it might announce itself let's see i don't know if they mentioned the heroic sandwiches it must be do rights i i don't know let me uh i think the underdog has the sandwich oh you're right yes yeah hard to read but yeah you're right. Yes. Yeah, hard to read, but yeah, you're right. Underdogs, heroic sandwiches, and then this little pizza explanation, just to keep an ear out. Bullwinkle's traditional thin crust pizzas are called Dudley Do-Right's Done Right Pizza. The house specials are appropriately named Motherload Pizza, Garden Cash Pizza, and our unique Pizza of the Sea. We need to talk for a minute about it.

I'll make it bigger for you guys to look at. Strange phrases to begin with. Mother load, okay. Tons of toppings, I get that. Garden cash, I got nothing on this. I don't know what garden. C-A-C-H-E, we should say. Computer cash.

Yeah. What does that mean? I think cash is like a stash. Yeah, a stash of all the vegetables. Like mother, it just implies a lot. That's what they're saying. Garden cache. I only think of that in computer terms,

and then put next to garden, electronics and garden jammed together. Is cache cache? I think about when they talk about, oh, I found a weapons cache. Maybe that's an RPG term or something. I think it just means to be like a store.

It's like health and ammo and armor. And vegetables. And veggies. A garden cache could be in one of those E.T. Botanicus video games where you have to put fertilizer in soil. Is that in the corporate video? Yeah. What is the title of that?

Oh, yeah, I'll recommend it to listeners. Bullwinkle's Family Food and Fun Restaurant Tour, Santa Clara, California. Yeah. Well, here, I'll say my Santa Clara thoughts, but just to go straight into the next one, which is Pizza of the Sea. This is the most nauseating-looking pizza.

Up until, I trust everybody that this pizza was pretty good in general, but looking at this pizza with little canned shrimp all over it. The pinkest shrimps you've ever seen. Oh, no, no, no. The pinkest, tiniest. No, and little shrimp nub seen. Oh, no, no, no. The pinkest, tiniest little shrimp nubbins.

Oh, nubbins. Maybe somewhere today could pull off little shrimps. I just don't trust this 1980s canned shrimp pizza. I'm concerned. You and I shared a fishy pizza a few days ago, Scott. Oh, sure. But anchovy. And it was capers as well.

What if they had little shrimps on that pizza, though? You think the little shrimps is the problem? I'd be fine there. Yeah, that was a good place. But you're saying that you can't imagine little shrimps being good in the 80s. I feel like I've watched Mike eat pizza with little shrimps. Or at least do not. being good in the 80s. I feel like I've watched Mike eat a pizza with little shrimps. But again, today, as long as, if it's anywhere but City Walk, fine.

Have at it, Mike. What's the place on Sunset that has that? Is that what I've had? No, I had a tuna pizza at that place. We were at an Italian restaurant in Manhattan, and I remember you just getting a tuna pizza, and it's forever stuck in my mind. In Manhattan.

You said that in a way like if's forever stuck in my mind. Was it Manhattan? Did they say that? How is it tuna? They said that in a way like if we were constantly in Manhattan together. One day in Manhattan. I guess we were a couple times. Only once or twice. We've been in Manhattan a couple times together. That's why it sticks out in my mind.

What was that establishment in Manhattan? I don't remember. Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. Anyway, I'm just, I just don't, I don't trust it. People said the food was good. B. Buffett's Margaritaville. Anyway, I'm just, I just don't, I don't trust it. But people said the food was good. I do, but that has to be where the, I'm only doing cheese there. I'm not doing Pizza of the Sea.

I'm out on Pizza of the Sea. Yeah, I think I remember the fried chicken, and specifically the waffle fries to me were a big memory. That was a big revelation to me as a kid. I had never seen that form factor of fry before. Yeah. But yeah, and I think, yeah, maybe the fried chicken looks kind of good

in those videos. It sort of does. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Again, very brown. It's a very, it's a brown meal in a brown room. The better way,

the more legitimate way that they used to do. I feel like fried chicken was generally done with more care in the 70s and 80s right i could be wrong i feel like the affection people have is probably does indicate maybe the food was a tier above a chuck e cheese i think so i don't think it's because even if it sure nostalgia could be blinding you to it but it but it's people who remember that the chuck e cheese food was shitty right and that this was better I have to quickly share a not so good association about that very same one, the Anaheim one,

which was shared to me last night by our pal Ryan Perez. Yeah, we grew up in the same, Ryan and I have a lot, we're the same age and grew up in Orange County. We have a lot of shared memories. I don't think we knew each other as kids, but we went to the same movie theaters, a lot of the same mall and grew up in the you know orange county we have a lot of like shared memories i don't think we knew each other as kids but like oh yeah the same movie theaters a lot of the same like malls and stuff so yeah i wouldn't be surprised if ryan had been to the same one yeah yeah no it's kind of surprising if we get fond bullwinkle's memories too except for i think well

i think he had been to the anaheim one they had a fun time then uh they he was 10 years old. They went to a softball game for his older sister and she got a terrible injury during the game and they had to go straight to an Anaheim hospital. And in the window, there was a perfect view of the Bullwinkles. And he is 10 years old. And not only is he pining for, well, I'd rather be there than here. He's like, you know, he doesn't understand the stakes. He doesn't know hospitals and what's happening at this point. Get a cast on the arm and let's get over to Bullwinkle's. Yeah.

Well, I thought it was more of that vibe. But instead, it was that his concern for his sister was so heavy. He's like, we're in a hospital. That means she's going to die. I'm going to lose my sister today. And he's, which did not happen. Spoiler.

But he's in this room, sadly looking out the window. And like, once my half family was happy, we had bullwinkles. And now we are here at death's door. We will not all leave together as a family. This was a very,

this is a very haunting memory. The innocence of childhood. And now he's on the threshold. As he passed into double-digit age, leaving childish things behind. Yeah, isn't that a beautiful, sad little memory? And I do picture, in the way he painted it, there's nothing in that window view except for that Bullwinkle's.

There's not one other streetlight or gas station. Children frolicking with their alive siblings. Fun because she didn't die. I love you, sister. I love that you're alive mainly. Yes. Anyway, yeah, such a poignant little picture. That Anaheim zone, it's exceedingly close to the Fry's

where I got to have that video played for a couple days before it was closed. So I'm looking at that and what you guys experienced as a kid, like, oh, man, I wish that had been my go-to childhood place. I'm also looking at the Santa Clara location because Santa Clara is the same neck of the woods as San Jose, Campbell, where I have this. I've had now two deliriously fun trips. The one initially inspired by wanting to go to a car wash that looks like an old riverboat.

And then I went back and had an equally fun time with my family at the world's largest Chuck E. Cheese, which is up there. And I'm like, this area had the theme great america when it was good uh they had the world's largest chuck e cheese this one and then at the same they uh maybe the the primary the world's first bullwinkle is the one from the video which looks pristine and awesome and then at the same intersection there was one of those places called it was this one was called pizza and pipes have we ever talked on the show about the yeah i've never i've yes i've i know a lot of people who have very fond memories of pizza and pipes the pipe organ themed where you would go yes before animatronics i can't believe you don't

know about this i would have assumed you have a depth of knowledge about like uh the tunnel i thought you meant pipes like tunnels like no this is the one that got absorbed by discovery zone oh oh oh leaps and bounds leaps and bounds okay yeah that's the pipe i was another treasured schomburg thing yeah we had leaps and bounds i know you had leaps and discovery zone uh and a mickey cafe or whatever um but but anyways um uh no uh pizza or pipes and pizza But anyways, Pips and Pizza was like, this is the precursor. Before they figured out animatronics, your pizza entertainment was watching a guy play the mighty Wurlitzer organ. A giant Wurlitzer that would have scored silent films. And these are still around a little bit.

I'm so intrigued by this concept and that they do still exist where's the nearest one i don't know i think there's one like in the like three counties surrounding us but i don't know for sure okay i think this is a tradition people have tried to keep up and the word the big organ feels so stodgy put next to pizza, which feels like what kids in the 90s wanted. You know, pizza and liver, sorry, pipes and liver, or pipes and crab. Pips and pancetta. I found an SFGate article about it.

Was the full name at some point the Cap'n's Galley Pizza and Pipes? It might be a different one. There might be a different one. I think there are a number of these. I don't think it is one chain. This many pizzerias could afford the mighty Wurlitzer organ from baseball games? Don't play dumb, Jason.

You were the phantom of the opera that haunted the area underneath pizza and pipes. Hey, man, play cool. Sorry. Don't mean to blow up your spot. Swinging in the rafters. Sometimes stray pizza would fall into one of the pipes. Wow, Bloomberg.com, remember the dining fad of pizza and pipes.

I feel like, are these the last moments of my life? Is this just a funny gag that I am a man? My brain is like... The funniest gag is telling you there was a place called Pizza and Pipes right before you died. You're on an operating... You got hit by a car on the way over. You're on the operating table. Pizza and Wurlitzer. That's pretty funny. That's so

weird. And then you go to the library to learn more about it and somebody catches you with a big net. God catches him with a big net. Oh, okay. God catches him with a big net. Well, a net is a – what's that? God catches you with a big net. Oh, okay. What is death but God's net?

I was going to say – God catches us all eventually. Holy net. You can't escape the net. I was going to say a net net a non-lethal weapon i guess if god is wielding it yeah it's lethal take you to the great beyond he shanks you a couple times while you're in there oh okay stabbed you with a box cutter oh man what a dirty death god so he does it uh i there there feels like there's all these different like historians for the different places like Chuck E. Cheese

stuff is pretty well documented you can get sound files of all the characters and this is pretty well documented I wish there was like one person that literally was like I will tell you all the different places in America you can go right now and there's like an organ show there's a robot

still working like I want this like comprehensive list of everything that's still there. Like a map or a Geocities site that's still meticulously maintained. Sure, it does not have to look fancy. I guess there is one Bullwinkle's that still has some of the animatronics. It's in Seattle. There's a haunted-looking man that does a tour of it on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's in the pizza room and it's just Rocky and Bullwinkle and then a Boris and Natasha above them. Right, right. And, you know, they're old. The clacking is deafening. You cannot hear what they're saying because it's all clacking when they blink.

Also, and he had to make a point of like, can you turn this on for me? To our experience. Watch this video. Absolutely. Yeah. There is like, you can see a frustrated stoned teenager having to like. It's happening again. One of those weirdos is here.

Like if it's turned a big crank for a while or something like there's some, it feels hard. It feels like there's a reason they don't want to do it. The restaurant was closed that day too. The family fun center and the snack bar. He says in the video, the restaurant was closed, but too the family fun center and the snack bar he says the restaurant was closed but they're gonna open the show so they had to open up an entire area now look i don't want not to get back into it i do if you're gonna tell me that this is where the residency is happening for i know it's make-believe ban i just couldn't believe why why close the curtain leave as we all know, the Chuck E. Cheese tradition is you leave them all just creepily blinking and shifting back and forth no matter what all day, everything.

Frozen in rigor mortis. If one loses an eyeball, that's it. There's no replacements for that. Five Nights at Freddy's was a big hit. Which is why it happened, I assume. It's a big hit. Which is why it happened, I assume. It's a terrible movie, but like... Yeah, you would think these places would be having a resurgence because of that.

You would think that they would be returning robots, right? I don't know. I think it's the only thing that saved the one and they still seem ashamed by it. Yeah, they put no... I was actually expecting a little more of something like, oh, it's showcasing the fact that they have the robots, but it is like, don't ask us about what's behind the curtain.

I mean, I personally, I'm just glad they took out the robots before they made them woke, right? I don't think I could handle a woke Rocky and Bullwinkle. That Chuck E. Cheese in the picture frame with the cigar was not woke. He was not.

That's when comedy was existing. Exactly. That Chuck E. Cheese could drop a hard R. And nobody, it's me just kidding. I'm just telling the truth here. The radical left won't let us do our show. I'm saying a hard A through Z. I'm saying all the words.

I'm using old time Rachel slurs no one's used since the 20s. You have to look it up in a dictionary. Just real quick, I found a post. Jordan is sitting next to me and I think I can see it a little.

The Valley Relics Museum has a lot of old San Fernando Valley, like neon signs and stuff that's preserved and statues and stuff. Yeah, big boys, you know? Yeah. So they posted a picture, oh, wow, a number of years ago. And I think this is a sign. It says, Pipe and Pizza in Reseda.

And it's just captioned, Sweet Woman Candy. And it's just captioned sweet woman candy and it's just this what woman seated she must have been the organ player at a pipe and pizza it looks like a really cheap album cover but whoa she's like zazzy look at her i mean like a sparkly red dress that is a picture a kristin wigg movie yeah you just take that to Kristen Wiig's production company. So you're an old organist. I've got four words for you. Sweet woman candy. Would my hair be very teased? The most, Kristen.

Yeah. It's got to be Palm Beach look like or Palm Royale look like. Kids play. I got, yeah, 1970s pizza and pipes here. Bay Area pizza chain.

Wow, this is wild. This is all, I can't believe we, I assume we had talked about it in some way. We maybe did. I have to forget some things we've talked about, so it's possible I forgot. Yeah. Once in a while.

It does happen. 70s and 80s craze in this Bloomberg story. Yeah, it seems like pipes and pizza and pipes. Before predating the robot technology. They say craze, too, as if it was like the nation couldn't stop enjoying pizza and pipes. Seems like everyone is striving to places where pipes are.

I think if you were like a Wurlitzer player, you cursed the robots. Oh, so this is what people want. Right, right. They're not playing live. You realize that? Look at their hands. Their hands don't even touch the instrument. Oh, you like all these rock and roll songs. No one wants to hear camp town races anymore classic no one wants to hear buffalo gal

well that's this is jason says this every episode i'd say that yeah that's what music was real before the guy got a sinatra the oregon man got fired from the cincinnati reds he got fired from pipes and pizza where's bosco there's only so many minor league teams that I can afford in Oregon. Yeah, the world going woke to Jason equals less pipe organs around every turn. Less cigarettes indoors and less pipe organs. Those were the days. When you could say the hard R any time you wanted to, listen to Little Brown Jug.

Play the Star Spangled Banner. We'd all stand and salute and then go back to our pizza bites. I've said this before. I've said it about, I think, Pirates of the Caribbean. I've said it about Womp Hoppers. I would pay $100 to $200 to smoke a cigarette

on like Pirates while it's going or in Womp Hoppers. Does everybody have a dream place they would just smoke a cigarette if they could go back in time? God. because it's on my mind but i of course it's just because it's right in front of me but what's the dudley room again that the dudley's den yeah look i can't not say that now that's been put in front of me i don't smoke and i don't like it but i would smoke on those two places but i would smoke in dudley's den as well i have about four cigarettes a year and i love all four of them okay that's where i was for a little bit

my four cigarettes a year but go back in time and where would you like to smoke those four well with current california uh regulations i would say my hotel or my apartment building balcony yeah okay that's fun but is there any robots? Yeah. The robots at the Seattle location that you can see in this YouTube tour, I don't know where the Natasha came from, but someone said, let's have something for dad. Ah, I see, I see. Assuming that dad loves giant tits,

because this Natasha that they have is out of control. She's a bosomy lady. It just might be a repainted Elvira. And Bullwinkle's packaged, too. Bullwinkle, you can tell. He's got a half chub in there. As long as his nose, yes. The exact same shape, but in his pants. Right.

Just as thick. Hey, Bullwinkle, I didn't know you had three legs. Oh, Bullwinkle's stupid and hung. That's why I never wear shorts, Rock. No need for me to learn anything. That's not my value to the world. I haven't eaten pussy in my life. I don't have to.

Gee, Rock, Rocky should still learn. It's the only way some women can cum. Which I had a better Rocky. Pretty good. That's pretty good. We'll pitch it up in post. In context with Bullwinkle, too. Yeah, people, you understand

the vibe. You have the character down. Thank you, yeah. Of the audiophiles we've talked about, I think my favorite Yeah, people, you kind of get it. You understand the vibe. You have the character down. Thank you, yeah. Yeah. Of the audiophiles we've talked about, I think my favorite, which is, I saw it named, just after what the song, the chorus says, a song Underdog sings called Country is Dumb. Did anyone watch this? You were telling me about this already yeah i underdog sings a song called country is he's like mad they play too much country music music yeah like as a band because there's no chance for him to play a saxophone that's pretty clever so that's kind of clever yeah um but yeah watching the old underdog cartoons, I was like, man, yeah, he really does sound

like Droopy Dog. And like the switch from Shushan Boy to underdog, I thought like, oh, but he sounds like Superman. No, it is slightly pitched down. But yeah, country is dumb. Underdog is mad at country music because there's not enough saxophone it's a good little it's a very good little routine for him yeah yeah that's good yeah um yeah i don't know i mean i didn't dive too much into the show scene i just know that like the the animatronics do seem of higher quality uh seems like those ones are are clacking around

and i'm not saying that just because of that Natasha revelation. I think overall, even forgetting that. No, these Bullwinkles are so charming. I don't know. Just like, and they seem like, I don't know, range of motion. They look just like the cartoons. It is not the scare factor that the Chuck E. Cheese ones admittedly have. Even still, Chuck E. Cheese now is very, it's not like scare factor that the chuck e cheese ones admittedly have even still

like chuck e cheese now is very i don't want to it's not like an apple store aesthetic or anything but it is very much a cleaner very bright like establishment but i do feel like it's always there's always been a weird vibe in a chuck e cheese like they've never matched any sort of like disney feeling going into this place which is what they kind of want. Yes. It's like always was like dim and weird and it smelled like diapers and pizza and like it still kind of smells like diapers and pizza. They have like, you know, when you when you start Pirates of the Caribbean, there's the like cricket noises. I think those are getting piped through bullwinkles when the band's not on.

You have the chirping crickets. That's cool. That's the atmosphere. Even from the pictures and just a little of the audio, yeah, you just get the sense that whether dad or mom can articulate it, they feel, oh, this is a higher end establishment. Yeah. It's such a massive build. I don't know if they all were, and I don't know if Anaheim was,

but this Santa Clara one they show, because the Northridge Chuck E. Cheese that I brought you to, that is just like a, you know, I feel like someday it's just going to be a Verizon store. That is not like the biggest, low ceilings, very traditional. Do you know why they picked that one to house the robots, the last robots? I don't. I don't actually. It was among the first.

Maybe they made the calculation that like LA hipsters are going to be the most likely to want to go to it. But I don't actually know. But isn't it basically that they just have been decommissioning these things for years and years and that was one of the only places left and they just decided maybe? There were more than you'd think. But I think they were about to start getting rid of it. And there might be stray ones where they haven't installed them yet. I think there are still stray ones. Okay.

But in my mind, and maybe this is wrong, they just looked at a list of 10 places that still had the full ban and went, don't say Northridge gets to keep them. Arbitrarily. Maybe. I'm sure there's some reasoning. Close their eyes, point it at a map. It doesn't feel like- Where do our neighbors not mind clacking?

Yeah. I'm fascinated that Chuck E. Cheese is still in business. It must be feel like- Where do our neighbors not mind clacking? Yeah. I'm fascinated that Chuck E. Cheese is still in business. It must be some real estate scam or something. It must be like,

well, they own the buildings or something. But they are, it is working for kids. No, it does. It does, and they figured out what they want now.

My child has a good time despite not knowing any mythology and not having layers upon layers of bizarre, maybe not natural affinity for half-thought-out mythologies. He likes to play basketball in there. Imagine that.

Yeah, family fun centers, I think, are still moneymakers. Yeah. It just feels like a place that should have gone out, like the pandemic should have taken it down. It feels like just something should have taken this down. But you think. Well there could be. I feel like JCPenney's is having. I saw them having money trouble or other. Do I think JCPenney's is in trouble. No no. What I'm saying is there might be another wave of bankruptcies. I feel like. Oh I don't think

he's on the chopping block if that's yeah if biden gets re-elected yes folks pennies is gone what do you where are men gonna buy slacks slacks and quarter zips well the sears is already back at the mall in the burbank so that's is it it is sears back we've talked about it before we'll do it quick there's a sears There's a Sears that all of a sudden just reopened in Burbank. Wild. Oh, yes. What a great

thing to happen in Burbank. If you ask anybody in there about it, they don't know. They don't know why it opened again. I don't know why I work here. There's an article where they called Sears and said, why did you open the store again? And they said, we don't really want to talk about it. Wow. Maybe a soft launch for an all-new Sears. The basic answer might just be

like we kind of like paid for rent or we own the part of the bill. I don't know. And it's just not it's like we'll make a few dollars opening it. It has its own free will now. It opened itself back up. It's possible the Sears opened itself back up. But over here or over in Burbank. Yes.

The Sears just opened one day again after being closed. That's wild. Yeah. So anything can come back. Stay on your toes. Well, including Bullwinkle's, which let's make sure to carve out some time to talk about your specific visit. Because this is not like, you know, we're not seeing animatronics again. Let's make no mistake there.

But there is like, what is the extent of the Bullwinkle feeling at this upland location? So basically nothing. Some signage, some like employees only signage where you'll see a character. They have two mini golf courses, an outdoor and an indoor. The indoor is weirdly fairytale themed and charmingly janky, I should say. If you like a kind of a mini golf course

clearly painted by the teens that work there. Oh, great. Yeah. Is there like a big crescent moon hanging in there? Maybe I saw, I might have seen pictures. You know, you might be right. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Yeah, really, yeah, fun. And then a little arcade with a lot of like big versions of cell phone games. You got a Fruit Ninja. You got Angry Birds. restaurant not open yet but they have a little on a tiny tv by where you get the like you know play cards you can see a like 3d kind of model of what it's going to look like i would say the 3D is lawnmower man quality. PS1 cutscene.

And it looks like they're going to, so the arcade is going to be Badinov's. Oh, cool. Boris Badinov. Boris Badinov. Last name of the character. And it looks like, you know, there's going to be some,

maybe a guy in a bullwinkle suit walking around. And this is wishful thinking. I don't know that this is going to happen. Probably not. But one of the rooms does look like you can kind of see there's a tarp over it but you can see the walls and it looks lodge themed. I have to hope that maybe they're trying to bring back a lodge

and maybe it would have animatronics in it. I don't know. That's something. That's something. Fingers are crossed. At the very least, you know, if it's, I mean, like, Barry Tales came back at knots. But you do at least sometimes at least appreciate whoever's doing a new version of something or trying to sneak in, like,

an Epcot reference into a line. Yeah. That is something. You're giving me a little morsel. Thank you for that. At the very least, if they're just trying to pay homage to the old room. Sure. At Bullwinkle's, I appreciate that. But hopefully what you're giving me a little morsel thank you for that at the very least if they're just trying to pay homage to the old room sure at bullwinkle's i appreciate that but hopefully what you're saying yeah well i would like it if they did uh what and some other locations did a promotion an after dark promotion 21 and up whoa it's bullwinkle's head and it says after dark

and this just happened that was happened that was but days ago and it uh it's like psychedelic poster does that mean you drop acid at full wrinkles oh man is that what they're implying do some drugs maybe the animatronics cuss you turn Dudley's dead into a chill out room

these are strong just take half see how you feel Alright, just make sure to test the drugs you're taking Know your dealer, right Bullwinkle? There's Narcan in Dudley's The teens have Narcan if someone ODs on fentanyl The teens at our place were kind of great I should say, this is kind of just

a fun you know themed entertainment moment uh jesse's kids loved it um and when they were looking to you know cash in their tickets uh one of the kids only had 30 tickets and i think for 30 tickets all you get is candy yeah kid doesn't like candy. She wanted the samurai swords, which were 3,000 tickets. Fucking stoned ass teenager just gave her the samurai swords. Yeah. And here you go. So yeah, I think you can bargain with those kids. That's nice.

Yeah. Okay, okay. If they're in a good mood. Yeah. If it's not, if they're paranoid and upset, then maybe not. Right, sure. They'll like spray you with mace or something. Okay, so vibes are good.

Yeah. Good teens getting good teen jobs. So yeah, I hope that whatever the redesign they're doing, hopefully that's a lot more theming, some of the old Bullwinkle stuff. But yeah, the vibes in there were great. Everybody was having a really fun time, and I think it'll be even more fun when it

is back to its... Back to private events, 21 and up. There you go. Millennial crowd going, looking for second spouses. Wanting to add to their polycule. Gen Z and Gen Alpha get it

during the day, but it's time for us. Thank you, yes. It's time to look for our second spouse. It's time to look for our second spouse. Right, Bullwinkle. It's Polycule Night at Bullwinkle. Starter marriages. That and Natasha.

If you're looking to fluid bond with another primary. Come to Bullwinkle's. Find someone else to come in. Chumlee is taken. Oh, yes. Shumlee is exclusive with Tennessee Tuxedo. They are monogamous. They're kind of square.

They're older. You've got to lock. He has human hands. You've got to lock him down. Oh, absolutely. What else are you going to do with those human hands and adult guy voice? On the adults night, though, you have to plant a security guard in front of that Natasha. Oh, absolutely. Human hands and a dumb guy voice. On the adults night, though, you have to plant a security guard in front of that Natasha

because dad is trying to rip her off the wall. A sad dad who can't find his second spouse. Yeah, who hasn't had Molly in a couple years. She said this was an ultra-dark worse than Natasha. When's Natasha losing that top?

I've been tipping her. I wanted to buy her a nice meal. I was told the food was really good. I thought she'd like that. I bought her Klondike fried chicken. I paid her $500 for a private dance. She just stood there. I got a cache of vegetables over here.

She implied they would be touching. I hope they can restore the feeling. That's all I hope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is, I think, clearly, this is the vibe of this establishment. Turn the bow wrinkles. Feel something.

Feel something, bow wrinkles. Feels something, Bullwinkles. A break from the numbness. I feel like we said it all. I mean, toss in anything on the way out the door, but otherwise. There was some crossover from Chuck E. Cheese. Actually, sorry, my phone went gone. But a voice talent that did both. Oh, yeah, because it is the real voices and also you

know what's cool is that snidely whiplash and i think maybe other characters were cory burton who is has universally taken over as snidely whiplash like in uh in the new shorts in the or you know any new iterations of it at in dudley do-right's rip soft falls uh the voice of the disney parking lot tram is like in this and many other media like taking over the old Hans Conreid characters I believe Helen Henney's voice is also she did voices here you know what

I just want to say it felt good for an episode where we've talked about coming several times it felt good to get back onto our solid ground of saying the name Hans Conreid and Helen Henney now we're back at what kind of has to write. Some nice names. So somebody who was like wagging

their finger at the show up in town goes, well, now I like it. Now I like what they're saying again. And the voice actor of Cumley is, oh shit, no! They're writing their letters again. They're taking pen to paper. To express their disapproval. Like getting an H into that name. I thought this was a clean show. They say they're taking paper to express their like getting an h into that name i thought

this was a clean show they say they're good boys i have a name as well the guy who started this david l brown um at some point he got the license and he toured a stage show called Bullwinkle's Call of the Wild show, which included an original character, Bullwinkle's girlfriend, Moonbeam. I have not been able to find anything on the original character, Bullwinkle's girlfriend, Moonbeam.

Is there any Moonbeam heads out there? You haven't even found a photo of Moonbeam. I haven't seen a photo of Moonbeam. You've been searching, too. I've been searching. You went to the library to look. I got my keys out of the bowl at Bullwinkle's. You accidentally called it garden cash, but then you, oh, no, microfiche. Maybe my guess, knowing that and knowing the time period

I wonder if she was supposed to be like a hippie I think she was probably a little hippie Yeah, yeah It just seems like Jason You're going to find Moonbeam one of these days One of these days Searching for Moonbeam This is your six part investigative podcast

What did she look like? Let's say panoply How did it work? Knowing what Bullwinkle's packing moonbeam this is your six-part investigative podcast what did she look like and like and like how did it work knowing what bullwinkle's packing how could any human woman right have possibly withstood um even a brief lovemaking session with bullwinkle well if bullwinkle's dumb and packing i think in a fuck marry kill situation that's a fuck. That's not a marry or kill. You know, marry, bullwinkle. That's Wyatt's girlfriend. Give me the other two options, though. Yeah.

Because there's certainly other characters you would have to marry bullwinkle over. I'm just saying. I think you marry Dudley Drew, right? I think you marry Rocky. Oh. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. A difference of opinion.

Well, I didn't know how many were in the... Well, I don't want to kill. I don't want to kill any of the dumb cartoon characters. I don't want to marry Rocky. Rocky's so small. It would feel weird and wrong. Right, sure. I would marry Mr. Peabody.

Oh, yeah, you could travel through time with him. He's a responsible guy, you know? It's a little condescending. Well, sure. You're all marrying the dog? Well, isn't this instant? Well well i guess you can marry natasha you got a perfectly stacked super spy right there who you can spend the rest of your life with and i'm marrying the dog who travels through time sorry oh shit oh you get a time machine out of the deal god damn it you're right smoke a cigarette yeah wish iopper. Yeah, sure.

Wish I'd married a dog. Chumlee's taken. This is so hard. Who are we going to marry? They're exclusive. They'll open up eventually, I'm sure. They have to. They have to.

Was Chumlee for sure a human woman? I don't know. I don't know anything about Chumlee. Actually, no, no, no. I took a stab there. It could be. You could be right. Uh-huh.

But she could be a moose. Yeah, yeah. But she could be any other animal, too. Mm-hmm. Huh. Yeah. A lot of great animals out there. Yeah. Bad. But she could be any other animal, too. Mm-hmm. Huh. Yeah. A lot of great animals out there. Yeah. Badger, possum.

We got to find Moonbeam. Field mouse. Mm-hmm. That's what listener, a call to action, find a picture of Moonbeam for us. And if you can't, make her up and put her kissing Jason in a photo. What Moonbeam do you see? And then draw Mike and Mr. Peabody's wedding. And then?

And then draw me trying to take it from Bullwinkle during our long weekend in Reno. Can I add to Jason's that Bullwinkle is standing by and his nose has gone limp because he's so sadden and that his girlfriend has been taken so yeah preferably the real moon i'd love to see what moonbeam looks like for real jade's gonna kill moonbeam she's to be so mad when she hears this. Who's this in your phone, Moonbeam?

You didn't protest enough when they proposed you kissing, I don't know, a cartoon skunk? Or in the doghouse now. It wasn't about her. It was about wanting to cuck Bullwinkle. Don't you see, honey? He likes it. It's the only way he can get hard. No, it brings his snoot back to life.

Tell me I could never make you cum. What is this show? Jason, is this show, though, was it like a Sesame Street on Ice? What was the actual show? I think it was like costume characters. I saw this too. He got this license first and then it led to, then he had it and thought why not uh also do a chucky cheese while i have it but yeah it was

dubbed characters and the dubbed characters were wrong and in fact the voice of bullwinkle was the guy who's usually the voice of chucky cheese in that sleazy era so part of the in in okay for them to like approve the property to do a chucky cheese out of it they said okay but it's got to approve the property to do a Chuck E. Cheese out of it, they said, okay, but it's got to be the real voices, which is why they got June Foray and Bill Scott. Once again, back to this podcast is, let me be clear, this is a podcast where we say names of deceased people and not where we say filthy words.

Or nearly deceased. Like the C word or the other C word? Over 90. Despite the audio files being well preserved i didn't find a lot on ebay or depop in terms of selling i think a lot of bars would use the generic name bullwinkles too yes i saw a lot of bars on like a lot of matchbooks and stuff it could be matchbooks from these restaurants uh bullwinkle's also, in the early 90s, again, coming back around, had a promotional tie-in at Taco Bell. Right.

So there's some Bullwinkle paper products and toys, I think, from that era. Okay. How much? Expensive? Or no? Probably not. I don't think too expensive. I don't think those are holy grails for toy collectors.

I could be wrong, the Taco Bell Bullwinkle stuff. I just got a picture of Bullwinkle with a bullhorn telling, gotta leave, folks. Just ask for your crunch card. Gotta leave, folks. I can't do Bullwinkle. It was pretty good. No, no, no, yeah, yeah.

On the scale of Jason voices, that was pretty great. The first one or the second one? The second. Like this? Yeah, that's not bad. Oh, okay. That's good. It's not bad.

Wait, here. All right. Try it with confidence. Crunch your way to food ads. I don't know. I got felt on the spot. I got a little dumb pardo. Crunch your way away Musical guest

Bullwinkle and Rocky We've all We can't avoid it I try to do Mr. Conductor Not Mr. Conductor No no no Sir Topham Hatt

From the Thomas cartoons As a voice for my son And it always ends up In like Thomas Gordon Are you causing Confusion and delay

On the railway We just can't You know When you want to go Pardo, you got to go Pardo. Musical guest bowling for soup. Well, give us a, can you give us a Bullwinkle and say, Jordan Morris, you survived Podcast the Ride.

That would be so great, what a thrill. Jordan Morris, you survived Podcast the Ride. Well, that stayed fully Pardo, but I hope it was nice anyway. No, I mean, to me, it was Podcast The Ride. Well, that stayed fully part O, but I hope it was nice anyway. To me, it was Bullwinkle. To me, I was being thanked by Bullwinkle, my hero. You visualized a big full

pants bulge as he said that. I did, yes. Beautiful. Well, Jordan, let's exit through the gift shop. Let's exit through the gift shop, says I, Bullwinkle. Is there anything you'd like to plug? I'm about to get blown up by a big circular bomb.

Plug away. Hey, I wrote a new graphic novel that is coming out July 16th. It is called Youth Group, the artist by the great Bowen McGurdy, who's a great comics artist you might know from Spectre Inspectors and Marvel Comics. It is a YA horror comedy about teenage exorcists. They're all in a goofy Bible study group, and they have to go out and fight demons. In Orange County?

In Orange County. Did you guys see it in Google Ads just now? Yeah, yeah. Wow. It's pretty autobiographical for something that has a lot of demon fighting in it. A lot of my childhood is in there. I think if you were a Bible study kid, you'll find a lot of good, hopefully familiar cringe in there. Oh, that sounds up my alley.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was a blast to make. I think it really turned out gorgeous. And if it sounds cool to you, we'd love a pre-order. Of course, you can pick it up on January, sorry July 16th but also January 6th January 6th you can find I'll be handing out copies at the Capitol

yes all demons like who might be re-elected I'm gonna throw one on Nancy Pelosi's desk June 6th or July 16th but also we love a pre-order it really helps books. It's huge.

So if you think it's a cool concept, go to bit.ly slash youthgroupbook, bit.ly slash youthgroupbook. And you can see the gorgeous cover. You can see some of Bowen's beautiful pages and get all those pre-order links. So, yeah, it's a little gift you can give to yourself in the future, a book pre-order. Wow. Yeah, and you can do that anywhere you get a book. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, better yet, your local indie bookstore. Or you can request it at the library.

That also helps us out. There we go. Call the Burbank Library Buena Vista branch. Tell them you're going to want to check out Youth Group when it drops on the 16th. Yeah, and get The Adventures of Boris and Natasha, the Dave Thomas. The VHS. Yeah, yeah. And get The Adventures of Boris and Natasha, the Dave Thomas. The VHS. VHS, on VHS. Yeah, not in the system for Burbank or LA libraries.

No, I don't, yeah. But I bet, I think you're onto something. I think it might have been VHS. I'm sure it was on VHS. It probably got sold during one of those Friends of the Library sales. I know those are fun. Yeah, 1997.

Oh, shit. Oh, that's the big ticket item. Wait, we can't sell it in the library bookstores. It's considered a carcinogen. Toxic materials were used to create the VHS tapes. Jordan, thank you. Book sounds great. Everybody check it out.

I'm going to be gross and build on your plugs because I have a specific thing to plug. There is a show that starts airing tonight uh friday may 3rd as you're hearing this the show is called john malaney presents everybody's in la this is a series this is six nights worth of a live variety special series of live variety specials put together by and hosted by the great john malaney and i had the awesome opportunity to direct a couple of the pre-taped sketches for the show. Those will not be on tonight as you're hearing this,

but next week, which is why I'm telling you, because these are live. This is a live Netflix event, except not my parts. That's what they'll show to bridge the, so that I can take a rest while they're doing the live parts, you see. I'm glad they needed those

because I got to come help. So Tuesday and Wednesday next week, may 7th and 8th i believe that's when my sketches are airing if you see a sketch i can't say what they are but if you see a sketch with the our good pal and aforementioned uh in this episode ryan perez that one is mine uh there is uh this show is like crazy ambitious and funny and writers got cut loose to do like exactly what they want to do and it seemed everybody involved is awesome ptr pals uh dave ferguson and stoney sharp did a bunch of stuff uh uh and i and i got to too so uh check that out next week if you have netflix um yeah uh big if you haven't sworn it off in anger for some reason

but yeah hey I did some fun stuff for it so thanks for letting me do some extra plugging and for piggyback look I'm sorry I made you like share a plug spot no no this is great let's all plug this is what the end of podcasts are for

plug in we should pad it out. And I don't know. You can plug anything you want. It doesn't have to be new. Oh, my God. It could be a web series from over a decade ago. I might be in another episode of that web series, the wrestling web series. The wrestling thing?

I think I'm in another. I filmed a scene for it. I don't know if it was cut, though. Great, great. So Johnny Loves Taya and AEW's YouTube. I'm playing the dog's agent and uh and i've been press i've been pushing to try to get on live tv because of it in the ring oh oh i see i don't think it's gonna happen your character so you're in your picture the character your

character from the web series here yes i am canon uh uh johnny tv and taya valkyrie i am their dog's agent great in hollywood and i i'm trying to pitch now that i would of course come out to the ring Johnny TV and Taya Valkyrie, I am their dog's agent in Hollywood. And I'm trying to pitch now that I would, of course, come out to the ring with the dog and be on the phone making a deal mid-entrance or something. Is the ultimate goal to get hit with a folding chair? Is that, to you, the most exciting thing that can happen? What if it's in your head? Or a pizza cutter just on the forehead? I could take the pizza cutter to the forehead.

Yeah, I would take a bump, if that's what you're asking. I would like to take a bump, yeah. I could take the pizza cutter to the forehead. Yeah, I would take a bump if that's what you're asking. I would like to take a bump, yeah. I don't want the dog to get hurt. Well, obviously, we'll make sure the dog won't get hurt. But I would like to take a bump, yeah. And Jason Sheridan is planning a personal appearance at the Burbank Library Buena Vista branch. You can find him in the microfiche department

learning more about pizza. I'll add the clear green accounting visor. Nice. I will be smoking in there and they're not going to like it. But I'll slip them a 10. I'll slip them a 10. Well, everything's free around a library.

A 10 is like a thousand to regular people. To a volunteer. To a geriatric volunteer. You have a single slide from like a Bullwinkle's live show and you're like trying to zoom in and you're like,

I think in the background, that's Moonbeam. Is that Moonbeam? Is that Moomy? Or just a person, a woman from the 70s? And that moment ends the first episode

of your investigative podcast. Yeah, there's nine more. And that's when you, yeah. And they are interminable. We did not have enough story for this. They didn't need. That could have been done in one easily.

We promised panoply nine hours. But I heart said they would break my fucking legs if I didn't get this done. You don't want to piss off I heart. I heart's coming at you. Hey, you know, and look,

patreon.com slash podcast. I have to say the whole thing. It can be quick. Sometimes they can be quick. Sometimes. know, and look, patreon.com slash podcast. I don't have to say the whole thing. It can be quick. Sometimes they can be quick. Sometimes. All right. Thanks, Jordan. That was fun.

Thank you. What a blast. Thank you. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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