Podcast: The Ride - Disney Super Bowl Halftime Shows

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

We take a look at the Super Bowl Halftime shows Disney produced in the 80s and 90s. Featuring Indiana Jones! Mickey Rooney! And the Gulf War! Disney's California Adventure TV Special Episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever! Dog! an army of Shirley Temples, Fake Mickey, Fake Goofy, and Jason Sheridan as Mae West. The podcast the ride show about Disney's Super which, listeners can attest, has caused more brain damage than professional football ever could. I'm Scott Gairdner. There's Mike Carlson. Oh, man. You saying that, though, means the class action lawsuit is coming.

Oh, yes. Oh, God. You've admitted to that. Oh, shoot. I'll edit it. There's no way to prove it. I mean, because, like, if you're getting, look, we're causing brain damage. You know, blank check, dope boys are causing brain damage.

I mean, like, all of it, there's no way to pinpoint it to us. Oh, I see what you're saying. There's so many people poisoning the brains of listeners. I think so. boys are causing brain damage i mean like all of it there's no way to pinpoint it to us oh i see what you're saying there's so many people poisoning the brains of listeners i think so to say what damage caused what but i definitely want to you know if doctors do a scan on the brain and like now that deposit there that's that that is uh the your knowledge of uh nick owner, James Dolan, having done a song about how Harvey Weinstein, he should have known Harvey Weinstein did the stuff that he did. All right, so we see that on the X-ray. Where do you think that could have come from?

What could have put you at risk for that? So until imaging technology catches up, we won't be put into some sort of massive trial. We won't be capped to go to jail. It's easier now for like ai to scan the transcript of a podcast so we're against the ropes on that but then it really if we can eventually scan a brain to see what awful fact we specifically have poisoned the listeners and we're in a lot of trouble this jason sheridan hi i i feel like it's a very concentrated dose today. You know, no placebo, no saline solution.

This is like, this is drinking the cold brew concentrate without watering it down. That's a pretty good point. Yes, absolutely. Because this is a true brigade of nonsense today. Yeah. The garbage factory.

This is definitely, yeah, yeah. This will be nothing but garbage, and we'll explain why. I mean, it's because it's Super Bowl weekend, and this is our big Super Bowl episode, and we know what you come to us for in a Super Bowl episode, so I'll just kick it off. Conventional wisdom holds that the Chiefs are a lock, with Patrick Mahomes having completed 70% of his passes with a yards-per-attempt average of 7.0 in his previous six postseason games. But one mustn't ignore the stacked 49ers offense, with Brandon Ayuk leading the league's receivers in catch score

and Debo Samuel leading all receivers in YAC score. So is it possible that the presumed-to-win Chiefs will be haunted by sloppy offensive play like McCall Hardman's goal-line fumble against the Bills in the divisional round. Michael, let's start with you. Well, Scott, I really would like to gather my thoughts. Yeah, no, no, no. I didn't mean to, of course.

Take your time. Well, we'll go to Jason Sheridan's thoughts then in the meantime. Well, sure. As long as the main player on the field today is good sportsmanship, then everyone wins. Dang, that actually is a good thought. You said a real thing. I couldn't have come up with that. I had to write all that down, all that stuff I just said

that I'll admit I don't know what it means. I was going to say you shouldn't have admitted that. Yeah, yeah, geez. And I'm waiting for the Chiefs to win, Taylor Swift to run on field, and say the magic words, I support Joe Biden, let the new world begin i just learned of this for the first time because i've certainly seen a lot about can taylor

make it from tokyo yes but i didn't realize that was the concern and that uh what are like maga wine moms trying to like form some kind of blockade between here and Tokyo so that she can't come tip her sheep listeners into voting for who otherwise assuredly would be Trump supporters one and all. Yeah. But one, but they're also said, you know, they're,

they're, they're such dummies. They might all flip just because Taylor said so. Yeah. I didn't realize this until recently that the, the rumor is that she's a CIA, what? She's a PSA. She's an op. Yeah, sure. Yeah. might all flip just because taylor said so yeah i didn't realize this until recently that the the rumor is that she's a cia what she's a psyop yeah sure yeah that's the rumor and that's being like pushed by like some pretty big conservative accounts and you can't say conservative you

can't tell and then i saw other conservatives posting like please stop doing this please stop saying this you sound stupid we look stupid now. That's the best hope we have is all of them tearing each other apart, you know. But yeah, I know. It's a PSYOP. It's a PSYOP that's been going since 2009-ish. Yeah. It seems as though for 15 years or more, we've heard a lot about this Taylor Swift. There must be something to it, right?

Yeah. We've heard a lot about this Taylor Swift. There must be something to it, right? She was a PSYOP planted in 2009 to stop the eventual presidential, not first run, because he did win the first, but the re-election of Donald Trump after a loss, which was planned as part of the PSYOP. Yeah. No. It's really something. Let's just put it that way. Yeah.

It's really something to see that take hold. And there might be something to it. That's for our listeners to decide. Or just ask me questions. As usual. That's all we're doing. We wouldn't say anything is fact. No.

One thing Taylor Swift is not doing this year is the Super Bowl halftime show. Right. Well. Oh, you're saying. Well, I guess so. This is more the like, kind of pop culture. It's like,

there are, she, like her and Usher have done like, cameos. Collabs. Like she was performing in Atlanta,

he came out, they did, yeah. She sang Ludacris' verse. I've never seen that clip. Yeah, it's on, it's on YouTube. Okay.

So people are like, okay, if she gets there and then she has time to watch some of the game and then change and then get down for the hit, it sounds miserable. I don't think she's going to. But she doesn't want to take the focus off of Travis Kelsey. She doesn't want to. That's going to be. It's his day. It's his day.

She's a supportive person, I think. She wouldn't be like, well, that's going to be, yeah. It's his day. It's his day. She's a supportive person, I think. She wouldn't be like, well, I'm going to outshine him. Mm-hmm. I think. Sure. Not to mention that I think that appearing on the Super Bowl would be like a downgrade. 100% it would be, yeah. In terms of eyeballs for her, yes.

I think, what social media is she on? I'm not sure. Okay, I was going to say one, but I don't know what she's on at this point. Right. I was going to say one post would be more. But does she post? I don't know. You're the Swifty.

This is who you are. But I don't. I'm social media. I don't know. I'm not following her. I don't know that she has such a presence. Maybe I don't follow her Instagram. Maybe I should do it right now.

I have the Instagram account Camporama just loaded up for this episode. Camporama? Yeah, yeah. But I'll get onto Taylor Swift's Instagram right now. What's on Camporama just loaded up for this episode. Camporama? Yeah, yeah. But I'll get onto Taylor Swift's Instagram right now. What's on Camporama? Well, it's all different camp clips. What we're going to be talking about today is camp. It's very campy. It's all very campy. But it's, I'd say,

unintentional camp for the most part. Well, that's a discussion to have about what is the intention of this camp, I think. Closer, it's not the super bowl halftime shows we know now where it's like i'm at taylor swift's instagram all right yeah we heard applause okay do that you interrupted jason's flow sorry jason these super bowl halftime shows uh are much closer to like uh ice capades or a pageant they're little skits there's a lot of little skits very much very much so you know there there literally was we won't be talking

about this one today but there was an ice capade at the at the half before the one yeah the uh before michael jackson like tipped it forever into what it is now, which is like big elevated concerts. Basically, there was one that I think was a bridge too far, which was ice skating on the they brought out little tiny ice rinks, you know, because the skaters surely won't need, you know, like many feet of run up. Yeah, you could just do a jump. You got you got four feet here. That rinks as wide as you are. Yeah. Or wide as you are long.

But yeah, they did do ice capades live in the halftime show at one point, which I think was kind of a bridge too far. That's where they decided maybe we need to draw the line make this entertainment less uh stupid but let's let's paint the full picture here as we focus on super bowl halftime shows uh um the very first one ever to take place was in 1967 and that was not one but two marching bands and when you got two marching bands you can make at least two shapes i think that's what they did i think the marching bands played they made two shapes and that was the end of that they called that they called that a day um today of course it is usher for for kind of our entire lives at this point it has been like a a concert by a major

pop act a big one, an elevated one, with probably some production design and sometimes some fairly theme park-y nonsense. Yeah, and it's almost usually, I believe, the instruments are recorded, pre-recorded, and the vocals are live. Yeah, maybe it's kind of like a relatively impossible thing to... Because they have to scramble to put these things together, to assemble the stage in a matter of five minutes, then connect everything well enough for live music to be played.

It's possible Prince's guitar was live for the Prince halftime show. I'm not sure, actually. You don't think the rest of the band was? I don't know. Because that's what I've heard, is that the the band is never there's just no way to sound check it that quickly can't set everything up in two seconds and sound check everything well that i mean i'm not sure though rehearsals i think have long been an issue yeah with these things one of the we'll get to today i believe was maybe none maybe none of them. A lot of them, at least for many years, were never rehearsed in full before being performed in front of the biggest audience possible on television.

Right. We're not talking about those Prince ones today. No, no, no. We have a narrow focus here, which I'll explain. If you think about the whole history of it, the nearly 60-year history of it, from two marching bands to big concerts, it's kind of this gradient, really, that gets you from one to the other. And I think they step it up every year. They increase the entertainment value. But there's a point in that gradient, the middle of that gradient, especially in the 70s and 80s where the super bowl halftime show was comprised of a lot of what i will call razzle dazzle crap just like ill-conceived huge in scope

but limited in its uh concept or like uh i'd say embarrassment is involved in a lot of cases. Yeah. The phrase I have in my head from watching this stuff now is, like, dorky camp. Yeah. Like, lame camp. Mm-hmm. In the sense that, like, obviously the pinnacle, I think, of camp is, like, Batman, the 60s Batman. It's funny, but it's colorful and it's silly and whatever.

But then there's this stuff, which is, like like very cringe when you see a lot of it. But it is also similarly silly and colorful and a bunch of nonsense. Well, that's my question. If you bring camp into it, I think some amount of purpose has to be involved. Awareness has to be involved. And in almost any of this, is there? I don't agree that there has to be purpose to have camp though i think that something can have camp value and it's like you're watching it

yeah i don't exactly know i don't know the entomology of the term but to me when something itself is campy uh it like they knew but if it but it's campy to watch something that's old and embarrassing or whatever. I don't know. That's my broad theory, but I could be wrong. I see what you're saying. There's a very popular Instagram account called Camporama. There's 150,000 followers on it. I am one of them.

And it goes anywhere from Liberace stuff to Elaine Stritch doing her one-woman show. And I'm like, it looks like it's a pretty wide-ranging amount of stuff on here. Some purposeful, some not. Now, I don't know that this account is the authority on it, but it seems right. That's a weird. If they're cataloging it, there's some confidence in the opinion. Right. There's some Eartha Kitt performances.

There's, you know uh what's her name the woman who played the wicked witch of the west doing a maxwell house commercial like there wasn't probably that wasn't purposeful camp but you know um so yeah so are we getting full podcast the right episodes about every single post on camperama well i see agnes moorhead from bewitched so the answer is yes. Great. Okay. Put it in the queue. I love this account. Or if nothing else, put them in the

Club 3 poll to get about 3 or 4% in the final running. Negative 3? How do they do that? I didn't know there were demerits in the Patreon voting. Patreon is truly iterating and updating the usability. They didn't know there were demerits in the Patreon voting. Patreon is truly iterating and updating

the usability. They don't want to hear they don't want to see this clip from the love boat of Ruth Gordon with Bernie Capel. They don't want to hear 30 minutes on this. Are they singing? Just go to a random part. What is it? What's happening? Hold on, let me see. Mrs. Warner,

I forgot. I've got to perform an emergency appendectomy. No, I myself. part what is it what's happening let me see she's hitting on bernie i think so it's a love boat long clip it's a long clip yeah no i i put you on the spot you haven't vetted that you it was worth getting into i was just like you know there better be hardcore bernie capel ruth gordon making out in that might be what was coming seconds yeah yeah you never know we'll update us later or just leave it playing in a loop while we do the rest of this but anyway um razzle dazzle crap um is is at least what's what's in my head you don't have to use that term but but i will and uh over in the years that were the kind of the pre-pop culture awareness the razzle dazzle crap years a lot of these events were perpetrated by the walt disney company and that is what we're going to be focusing on today because i've been wanting

to do a halftime show episode for some time this has been in my mental queue but yeah i want to credit a user oh did i write down their names yes mark gannon and casey lucas on club three our vip patreon tier both of them suggested that we on club three but we're doing it here on main feed the suggestion was to focus on the halftime shows produced by the Walt Disney Company. And I thought that's a great idea. That's a good way to like, all right, we'll take care of these. And if people are into this, then in success, we can, because there's a lot of other, there's so many insane halftime shows. Oh my God, I was watching some other stuff. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. So much. And I honestly, you know, I'm maybe aware of like the ones while I've been alive more than the ones before I was alive.

I'm not sure I've ever watched any from the 70s and early 80s until this. Clearly, there's a lot to get into. Because on the way to Disney doing it, before Disney did it, I believe the fourth one, as I was saying, I think it's this ramp up where, all right, it's going to be some marching bands and that'll be nice, right? But then this thing gets more popular, more pop culturally relevant. It's big on television. So maybe we got to do a little more to pull in the viewers at home. And maybe a good idea would be to have celebrities, famous people as part of this. And yeah, that sounds good.

Sure. Who do they get? Carol Channing. Carol Channing was the first one. She's on Camparama all the time on the Instagram account. I would have to imagine. She is there all the time. Camparama mainstay.

That's right. Now, I have not seen footage of this one. I don't know if anyone saved footage of this one, but apparently that's Super Bowl IV. And apparently that one involves not only Carol Channing, but also a restaging of the Battle of New Orleans complete with terrified horses and falling soldiers.

Oh my god. Not prepared on that one. Maybe to come in Super Bowl halftime too. Well, they got the accuracy of the Battle of New Orleans. There were definitely some falling soldiers and terrified horses. Oh, yeah.

Maybe they got it exactly right, because probably, you know, there's recreations of battles. This happens in the world. But I bet that if you just watched battles from really far away, for the most part, it's just a bunch of, it's a big, confusing mess. Oh, yeah.

It's not some ballet. No, it's not even as carefully orchestrated. It's like Lord of the Rings, but armies meet. Like, it's, even as cool as like orchestrated lord of the rings but armies meet like it's yeah i can't i cannot imagine yes so read the civil war was as cool to watch as the lord of the rings no no no um but anyway yeah these are the early years i mean it's one of those things where um boys the simpsons parody so accurate that I know. That one where, are they watching the literal Super Bowl? Is it the Lisa the Greek episode where she's betting on football? And there's a snippet of a halftime show and it's an alien in a suit.

And they sing, one, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, we're going to rock around the world tonight. And I think I saw that and thought, you know, when I was a kid, I'm like, yeah, Super Bowl halftime shows are kind of cheesy. And then not until I've seen some real ones, I'm like, that and thought, you know, when I was a kid, I'm like, yeah, Super Bowl halftime shows are kind of cheesy. And then not until I've seen some real ones. I'm like, that is exact. That literally could have been something that they did, at least in the early ones. See, I jumped to the other Simpsons reference of the variety show Hooray for Everything.

And it's like kids dressed in sock hop attire, but they're singing Walk on the Wild Side. Oh, right, right, right, right. That was another thing they did. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Hey, kids. Yeah, that's extremely accurate too.

I just want to say the 1976 halftime show, which we're not going to talk about today, but it was called 200 Years and Just a Baby, a Tribute to America's Bicentennial. And Up With People did that one, which is what they were like parodying on The Simpsons as well. Hooray for Everything is a parody of Up With People, and I'm not prepared to talk about Up With People. I don't quite understand what it is. I didn't know if it was a group, but what I'm finding is that maybe it's more akin to like an organization.

It's like a big volunteer organization. A non-profit. It's a final one. A non-profit. Yeah. I can't imagine Up With People didn't ultimately turn a profit somehow with their jazzy rhythms and cool harmonies. Oh, Jason, could you put on a one-man show called 200 Years and just a baby tribute to america's bicentennial well it'll be like baby new year except i will enter in the diaper and the sash and i will also

come out at the end in the like so i don't age at all oh yeah so it's a lot it's it's plenty baby you know maybe you do whatever we find i think it will it'll be plenty of baby for me that's for sure i don't even need you in a diaper I just wanted you doing whatever the old time songs they perform in here. Well, you have your methods to prepare and I have mine. Hey, I'm not going to fight you being in a diaper for this one, man. Jason insists on the diaper. Fight me on this. Fight me until I end up in a diaper.

He's taking his clothes off right now. What? No. All right. Well, here's one of my daughter's diapers. Put it on. You're going to have of my daughter's diapers. Put it on. You're going to have to stretch it a bit. Put four of them together. Anyway, it seems like Up With People was one of the main providers of this entertainment, of the extremely white bread entertainment for the first 15 years or so.

And the other, the Walt Disney Company, because the NFL can't put these things on themselves. They are busy with the game and the other games. They need to reach out to entertainment entities to do these things. And Disney enters the picture for Super Bowl XI, which is in 1977. And I think they especially, at least initially, would do the halftime shows when the Super Bowl is in California or Florida. It makes sense to be near their parks, near their facilities, and they have access to tons of dancers and costumes and musicians and all that. So absolutely makes sense Disney would be part of these. So I have more about these as they go on, but I'll try to step through what I learned about the initial, the early Disney Super Bowl halftime shows. So Super Bowl XI, 1977, this was at the Rose Bowl,

Raiders versus Vikings. I don't have much here. I picked a pretty arbitrary clip, but this I think will give you an idea of just the tenor of the entertainment. And it's not exactly a far cry from Up With People from what I can tell. So here's just a random little bit of what Disney provided in 77.

It's a big, wide, wonderful world yes it's lanky very pale people kind of doing they aren't even moving no they're not like dynamic dancers or anything kind of it's just like synchronized uh half speed arm pumps basically in mickey mouse sweater vests and bright red pants um this is i mean i know there was a lot like this in the 70s we've delved into our 70s variety shows but i do always flash to like punk was happening you know oh yeah yeah the talking heads were going on right now early hip-hop this yes yeah yeah we're almost at hip-hop no i literally googled synthesizers i was i was watching again i started getting on down rabbit holes of non-disney produced and i i was watching 92 which has some great stuff in it and but then i was like wait i'm like guns and roses was popular like it was

like the biggest record we're almost we're almost at the grunge turn of course yeah yeah i was just like when it's there's no okay all right it's like i'm sure that current like who they currently book is not like exactly up to speed typically with the year and sort of like what's what's cool that's not what you look for in the super bowl necessarily but it's at least like we're we're like in the same we're in the realm of the same like two decades typically you know we aren't in another planet in terms of relevance like you're on another planet yeah it it feels like now it's it's not necessarily the biggest act of that year or two you know sure it's not hill or switch or

beyonce it is someone well into their like you know well established and recognizable across the country and internationally yes but not But not just like, all right, I'm just going to wind it down a little, go a little slower, do a Vegas residence. Not that point. Sure, sure. Recent hits, probably. Yeah, probably, unless they mash a bunch of people up together, which they do sometimes as well.

Maybe somebody's not on their own, what they feel is a big enough draw, but if you put a bunch of people in there, maybe it works. Yeah, it can be like a big, who did they have a few years? Was it like Eminem and 50 Cent? Snoop and Dre? But that was kind of a consistent theme

of like all of the Dre accolades. Yeah, that was sort of his history. I think you see less of the mashup of a ton of people since the infamous MTV Janet. They blamed the format for what happened, you see. Well, of course, I mean, the Britney Aerosmith and Sync. That might need to get a little time if we do another one of these, a non-Disney one of these. Oh, yeah. I have vivid memories of that.

TV did a behind the scenes of how they did it. To see and sink an Aerosmith together, it fit hand in glove. I know. It feels to me like the Super Bowl was always trying to be like, well, the halftime show was for a different crowd to entice people to want to watch it.

Like people who wouldn't usually be watching. Right, and that's still kind of what they're doing. It's just that their approach back then, to me, seems a little bit misguided. I don't know. Were people really excited about these? That's a good question. I think the approach back then seemed to be like,

let's see if we can get Grandma in from the next room. Sure. So I guess it's the same thing. Because if they were to have like Aerosmith now or the Rolling Stones, I'm like, get Grandpa in here. And I'm like, oh, I would like to look at the Rolling Stones. The Rolling Stones with Usher. Now I'm listening.

I'm excited. But when Springsteen played like 10 years ago, I was like, I'm going to see this Super Bowl. I really want to watch it. And yeah, so I guess it's always been the same goal and different approaches. Sure. But we've aged. We've at least like...

Yeah, that's true. We're at entertainment that has been relevant in the last century. True. The Weeknd does it, which Grandpa doesn't know necessarily who the Weeknd is. Now they spelled this word wrong. Why'd they drop that? Where's Up With People? Why isn't Up with people on here anymore i'm with people i'm having a going concern for 20 years all right well i'm going back in my room in my den

um the uh other notable facts about this one um they didn't know how to film these yet so there's a lot you see that yeah you see the shadow of the helicopter a lot uh there's a uh we get the first ever introduction of the new mousketeers the 70s ones who did that the disney world special which was okay that's on disney plus um and just general about the 77 super bowl uh two of the Raiders played high on weed that they bought from Anthony Kiedis' father, whose name, of course, is Blackie Dammit. Yeah, I did know that, actually. You knew his name was Blackie Dammit? Yeah, I've heard that. And what, Kiedis' stage name was another?

He was a different Dammit. Right. Yeah. Because he was a kid actor. This knowledge comes new to me. Just a few days after, Michael Bublé apparently played the NHL All-Star game on mushrooms. What? What? Michael Bublé, really?

Yeah. I think he thought he was being given a micro dose. Yeah, it's a very small dose. Yeah, yeah, I know. I've missed this story. He apparently was given a very small dose. Yeah, I know. I've missed this story. He was given a very large dose. That seems hard to do, to play on mushrooms.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how his play was. Maybe he was great. Wait, so he played, this wasn't him doing a concert and this was, he played hockey. He played hockey, yeah.

Whoa, geez. Okay, well, that's neat. One of the hockey teams he even more dangerous to do. There's a book on the shelf my mom got me, which is Anthony Kiedis' autobiography a few years ago. Your daughter's bedtime story. No, that's where I'm at. Maybe I said this already. That's the book she walks over and picks up off the shelf all the time.

Wow. We have so many photos of her taking Anthony Kiedis' book off. But is there nudity on the cover? Well, he's got his ripped body on the cover. Okay. And you don't want to teach her to be uncomfortable with a situation on the cover. And she doesn't like watching Bluey or Peppa Pig. She likes watching Daisy Jones and the Electric Six and

like Dennis Leary's Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll. Yeah, she likes fake bands on TV. She likes Sunset Strip stuff, right? She loves Sunset Strip stuff, yes. So she's already into Rock and Roll. Sunset Strip stuff.

You heard the Rock history over here. We're Rockos, you know? We rock historian over here. We're rockos, you know? We're rockos born. We're rockos? We're rockos. Grandpa, go back in your day.

Wait a minute. Is rockos a phrase in the world for people who like rock? We're rock and roll go, where folks go for rock. Oh, we're rockos. I thought you were saying

that we collectively are rockos. Oh, I like that term. Oh, no. Rock and roll fans are rockos. Well, I like that term. And then rock and roll fans are Rockos. Well, yeah, of course. Rock and roll fans are Rockos or rollers. I think you've coined a new term that I'm going to use on this show, that I'm a Rocko.

You are a Rocko. I'm a Rocko. I like rock and roll. I'm a real Rocko. What can I tell you? Wow. But they weren't, you know, in 77, they aren't appealing to the Rockos yet, other yeah other than these two raiders who by the way

the raiders won so thank you secret weapon blackie damn it that's right um uh you know so we're stepping hopefully further into uh where pop culture is actually at as disney produces produces the halftime show at Super Bowl XVIII in 1984, although not really, because National Anthem is Barry Manilow, and Manilow, I would say, is kind of the tone of

the rest of what happens here. This one, by the way, in Tampa, Raiders versus recently renamed Washington team, that I will not say on mic. 84 is the year of the, the famous 1984 commercial, the big Apple Scott ad, which is very cutting edge,

very like, you know, now there is like a pop culture defining moment at the Superbowl, a little more so than what Disney produced that year, which was called a sparkling salute to superstars of the silver screen. That will be another one man show. Jason does in a diaper, but a sparkly diaper.

Oh, I like the pig skin. Is that Jimmy Stewart? Yes, Jimmy Stewart. Jason Sheridan plays 200 stars of Hollywood Dior. Oh my God, I'll write that for you. You'll do it.

Every time he spins around, he becomes a new guy. Cary Grant, go. Well, let's, hello. I was trying to do Cary, I was thinking in my head for a couple minutes, like what does Cary Grant sound like? Mae West, go. Come up and see me sometime, Cary. I was thinking in my head for a couple minutes, like, what does Cary Graham sound like? Mae West, go. Come up and see me sometime, big boy.

Wow. Alright. Excellent. That was pretty good on the fly. Barry Manilow, I believe also on Campo Rama often. Oh, sure. That makes sense. There's adding evidence to my theory. Sure, sure. Also a big micro doser, famously. Yeah, of course. So, you know, one i also i don't

have clips of this one but you know there's but people have big letters that spell out array for hollywood and they sing hooray for hollywood and they you know they sing about that screwy ballyhooey hollywood this song is less and less relatable to me as the years go by and as hollywood is more and more terrible to watch the products of and work in as i get really kind of tired of both the screwy and ballyhooey nature of the business it's hard to imagine the optimism in a song like that yeah um but i do think okay just as i list what happens in this one there's like you know the thing where like two guys share a big sparkly piano and, uh, there's like big Southern bell dresses, like gone with the wind style.

And they sing, you ought to be in pictures and stepping out with my babe. And then there's like, the field is covered in people with, with white tuxes. And I was watching this and thinking like, Jason, are, Jason, are you going to end up the last person alive who likes this kind of thing? You'll be the last human on Earth. You know, I think I like it in proper context. It's weird to see in a Super Bowl halftime show. And you are talking about right now the 1984 show?

That's right, yeah. I don't want to jump too far ahead, but 1987 is also a tribute to Hollywood. Why, in fact, yes, you might, if eagle-eyed viewers might notice, there is not a world of difference between a sparkling salute to superstars of the silver screen and, three years later, Hollywood, the land of make-believe.llywood the land of make-believe the hollywood the land of make-believe they at least kind of tenuously uh are there are like it's 100 years of hollywood and i'm like oh yeah those 1887 bangers it was like a person walks from right side of screen to left side of screen child observes sunflower yeah um i yeah

you're right and look i'm more than happy to generally rush through this the only thing i want to show is not not a clip but just a shot because things do kind of heat up i would say when uh mini mouse joins the festivities and she comes out she's she's on a big throne that's carried by a bunch of the the jungle book monkeys and she's in like carmen miranda garb and we all collectively will be the final people on earth who know the what the reference carmen miranda is i've never seen a carmen miranda film no will i but i do know when there's a bunch of fruit on your head that's what it is um but anyway this shot really this still i think bunch of fruit on your head, that's what it is. But anyway, this shot really, this still I think kind of tells you all you need to know,

which is that Minnie is brought up on this pedestal, and then she's surrounded by a bunch of strong guys. Hunks. Yeah. Yeah. Cut. Beefcakes. These guys are even bigger than your average bodybuilder,

I feel like, at the time maybe. They're not maybe to Arnold's category, but they're closer to the Arnold side of things. So yeah, I'm just trying to say how hunky they are and how muscly they are. I'm just trying to paint a picture for the listener. Yeah, yeah. They got suspenders on.

Are you upset to see them in the frame? Oh, with Minnie? Yeah, well, I mean, it makes me feel less of a man, yeah, if that's what you're saying. If this was your POV and you were trying to get to her for a quick hug, if she accedes to that, if you make eye contact and she acknowledges that she wants it. I'd get beat up by these hunky firefighter guys. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't want that to happen.

Yeah, excuse me. Miss Mouse ain't seeing other guys today. Hey, tell her I'm here. Tell her Michael is here. I'm trying to get through here. She met me in Florida. She hugged me in Florida. Mr. Fireman, get out of my way.

I have half a mind to suck you right in the nose. And then, yeah, I just get knocked out. Whip those suspenders. Pull one back and fire it right in your nip. Hey, don't dance at me. Get away from me. Stop thrusting. Some very strange cameos in this one.

Oh, wait, what are you talking about, 87? Yeah, 87. Let's officially move to 87. Maybe one of the strangest opening bits I've ever seen. Yes. As we said, these are kind of the same, but technically we do move to Super Bowl XXI. This is 1987. We're back at the Rose Bowl.

Neil Diamond does the National Anthem. That's a treat. I can't imagine a better National Anthem singer than Neil Diamond. Broncos v. Giants, and this one is the debut of the I'm Going to Disney World commercials. To be covered separately as its own episode I would imagine. It being a thing that Eisner slash his wife thought of. Anyway, yes. Hollywood, the land of make-believe.

Big gets in this one. Again, we're not in the age of star power yet in the halftime show. We're still up with people. No real stars to speak of in 84, but 87, whole other ballgame. Yeah, it opens with a shot of the Hollywood sign, and I believe also the Mickey Mouse balloon

known as Ear Force One. Yes, separate episode that we already have covered. Yeah, we haven't covered Ear Force One. Don't worry, we've talked about the big Mickey balloon. Right. And then the camera zooms out or tilts down a little, and you see the seven dwarves. And then you see Snow White being escorted by someone,

and I could not make out who it was. It looked like someone who was melting, and then it snapped, and my headache clicked. And I was like, oh, it's George Burns. Yes, and that is a perfect segue. You've painted the scene perfectly for this clip to be played. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. George Burns.

Thank you, Snow White. Pretty girl. A little too old for me. Well, Hollywood is now 100 years old. It's only nine years older than I am. Maybe when I'm 100, they'll put my name up there. If they don't, I'm moving to Burbank. Okay, now on with the show.

I don't know how I feel about that Burbank slander, but besides that, okay. All right, if you had to go blue, George. Yeah, George. Very strange joke about Snow White being too old for him, followed by a joke about him being younger than Hollywood. Oh, yeah. Slightly. What, the movie release?

Yeah, I guess they mean that. They don't mean what she is in the movie, which is what I don't actually know. 15. Yeah, but my guess is 15. They were all 15, right? Every princess was 15. Probably.

Until Disney started making up the stories themselves. They were all. Yeah, I think that's probably right. So, yeah, a little weird George Burns cameo. At this point, I believe George Burns is the biggest star ever on the halftime show up to this point. Oh, wow, maybe that's right. Defeating Carol Channing. Wait, there's one more.

Who was on it in the early days? Oh, yeah, I saw it. Oh, let me build up here. Oh, Andy Williams. Andy Williams. George Burns was a bigger star. Yeah, yeah. Jazz legend Pete Fountain.

Oh, all right. So I do think George, so with that cameo, George Burns, biggest star in the history of the show. Oh, well, if it's Gerald in 72. of the show. Oh, Elpheth Gerald in 72. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay.

That's good. That's a real. All right. Yeah, that's real. Oh, I didn't realize. All right. So there would be actual popular musicians sometimes. But George Burns didn't show up in person.

So you can't technically say George Burns' biggest star ever on the field. For that, you have to wait one more minute for the show to begin in earnest, where a bevy of marching band players are playing and marching, and they are led by another one where you got to squint at first. Who am I looking at here? Oh, but that spirit, that invigorating spirit and the steps of his tiny legs, why, that can only be the great Mickey Rooney. Mickey Rooney, he is kind of going for it. Like, he is really jumping around.

Flailing. Flailing. Arms akimbo. And if I did the math correctly, he would have been 67 years old or thereabouts. He was born in, I looked it up, yeah, 1920. And now we're at 87. So, yeah, 67. Even though you might

watch him and guess he is 103. George Burns is in 87. He died in 96. So he is in his early 90s. Wow. Wow.

Did he make it to 100? He did make it to 100. He passed at an even 100. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, the Mickey Rooney. This is fantastic.

And I don't have a clip because he doesn't do it. Nothing would work for audio. Right, right. So you just got to imagine the most excited elven man. He's just, I mean, the more stories you hear about him, the legend of him and how insane he was grows and grows. And then what podcast, was it on this network of somebody who was playing clips from Mickey Rooney's not made reality show?

Oh, Double Threat. Oh, it was Double Threat. I missed this. Yeah. There are crazy clips of Mickey Rooney having like fits with his wife. And I guess they shot a pilot or something or you can find it on YouTube.

But it looks insane. Wow. Like there's, of course, when you see this, you go, no one should put this on TV. It should not be on TV. Is this kind of the grab of the post-Osbournes? Like, this is what we're all doing now. I've got to do it.

Yeah. And then that with all the stories for Dana Carvey and Nathan Lane, right? We're on a sitcom with him? Yes. Strangely produced out of the 30 Rock building, despite that typically being talk shows. For some reason, they're doing this Mickey Rooney sitcom there. One of the boys. We they're one of the boys we're doing one of the boys mickey rooney's like carrying a gun all the time or something

just like it just seems like out of his mind and gotta watch out for pickpockets within your own crew yeah yeah so uh uh the mickey rooney like any i've never heard or i've never seen a bad clip of mickey rooney i've never heard a non've never seen a bad clip of Mickey Rooney. I've never heard a non-entertaining story of Mickey Rooney. Let me put it that way. And he was on Eagle Heart. Our pals Warner and Weinberg worked with that. I don't think I've heard any

but that's one of his final credits I believe. Right because he died in 2014. Wow. Geez. They got him right towards that. We'll have to ask if we can share it publicly We will, if not, we'll just laugh on our own time But yeah, so you got some real And you know what you get in this moment

Is Mickey Rooney and Mickey Mouse arm in arm It's delightful Hollywood's two great Mickeys Yeah, this is maybe my favorite moment in any halftime show Other than the Prince guitar solo during Purple Rain. Tied. Yeah. Prince solo and two Mickey and two Mix.

Yeah, same thing. Same level of excitement for me. The Prince one started and you're like, all right, let's see what you got. Can you top it? I don't know. Could a Mickey Rooney have been there for that? Is he alive? When is Prince halftime?

2007. Oh, yeah. Then, of course. Easily, you could have had Mickey Rooney hand in hand with Prince during that halftime show. So when they do the big sheet and his guitar- Looks like his dick. Looks like his dick. And then the sheet comes down and Mickey Rooney is just there doing a little jig.

Prince disappears and Mickey Rooney is in his place in a little purple suit. Give it up for my inspiration. Never could have been me without him. If you're blue and you don't know where to go to. That's going to be in the show. That's what I'm putting on the Ritz. Yeah, yeah. Putting on the Ritz is in this one, right?

I think so. Or it was in the last one. It's in all of them. It's been in all of them every halftime show actually if you look at it every halftime show until uh 2005 the 80s the janet jackson that's what you don't remember that's what timberlake came out to do that's right yeah putting on the ritz and mickey rooney was there too yeah what is this filth cover her up yeah he threw a towel over well i reached my little hands i'll get that that mcgroney was there to throw a towel on janet that was my supposed to be my areola

jewelry hey yeah he threw a fucking what did i get these for if not to be not to show them off on tv yeah they had to remove them from the building he was so upset um there is a medley of like western songs you know they do like magnificent magnificent uh magnificent seven theme ghost riders in the sky ghost riders in the sky there's kind of an odd goofy singing kind of odd i don't know how to even say it's fully like it sounds doesn't sound like something's wrong with goofy It's a pretty off goofy We've talked a lot about wrong Mickey Right

Okay you asked for it But this is definitely a wrong goofy Here not to you know Let's not clear out The western segment if we're not done with it But while we're talking about weird goofy I think you get some weird goofy in this During which oh that's right okay so as jason said western stuff so uh there's a bunch of horses around which i recognize from park specials like the type of horse that

they would have uh kind of weird upright with tiny t-rex arms. Yeah. Um, but then they move on from Western stuff to like Indiana Jones and then like flash dance, but the horses are still there. So it's a bunch of like dudes in yellow, like glittery sleeveless shirts, and then a bunch of horses and they are all dancing to this that sounds like yosemite Sam. Yeah.

I'm turning it loose. Turning it loose. Yeah. I said turning it loose. Turning it. Yeah, Weird Goofy. Weird Goofy. This also speed runs the history of Hollywood,

where it's a lot of hooray for Hollywood, westerns, and history of Hollywood, where it's like a lot of hooray for Hollywood, Westerns, and then immediately like Indiana Jones and Flashdance. And that's our current thing. That's kind of what a lot of stuff was like. Probably what it is is they were mad at that whole 60s rebellious graduate easy writer kind of stuff. Yeah, but what about, come on, what about the spectacle, the razzle dazzle? Well, it's sort of, my memory in the early 2000s

when they would do montages, they would begrudgingly squeeze in a shot from Lord of the Rings and the shot of Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones from the end of Chicago doing the big musical number. And that was like, and this is modern Hollywood. And now let's wrap it up, you know? And when they're doing that, Chicago was 13 years prior. We're still celebrating Chicago.

And that's as current, like 2002, 2003, that's as current as like 2002, 2003, that's as current as like history of Hollywood gets. Like you can see when little snippets and then later on it's like there's one shot from Avatar, 10 years removed from Avatar. That's what Babylon, that's what we really got. Babylon ends the same, if you've never seen it, Babylon ends the same way as the great movie, right?

You just suddenly get this montage of great movie moments and I've only seen that part I don't know what the rest of Babylon is I jumped right to the end because people made me aware that Avatar is in Babylon wow really strange and then something else is it like

Tron I think it's original Tron maybe Tron it's original Tron maybe. Tron. Oh, it has like a highlight reel? Yeah, it's like a guy. Tron made a lot of those montages. Tron in Star Wars for like special effects. Yeah, yeah.

And look what we can do now. I think it's like somebody who is watching a movie and whenever your Babylon is set and it's like he can't even imagine what's coming for him. Tron, Avatar, that's pretty much it. Oh, okay. It's weird. I don't understand.

But anyway, if you like the Great Movie Ride and you miss it, see Babylon. I have heard that there is, Tobey Maguire plays an absolute maniac in Babylon. And it's like, well, that's worth it to see. Sure, yeah. Big disappointment, though, is that they didn't like the Great Movie Ride include,

Good morning, Vietnam! A thing that, for years riding that ride, I'm like, well, and that's one of the most important movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're going off of that, if you're trusting that you are in a history of film seminar when you're on that ride, then, like, okay like okay well one of the primaries must be do you think anyone has pitched a great movie ride movie in the last few years oh kind of as multiverses yeah well just because yeah disney has so many different like i'm sure i i think probably there's 50 projects all based on rides that they're having they're paying people

to do something with, but they'll never make. Especially a post haunted mansion. It ruined it for everyone. Yes. But you think, I wonder if there's any great movie ride movies in the pipeline. If the Favreau Magic Kingdom movie got made and was a huge hit.

Oh, well, and they're just like, then there would have been every, we got to do every park. Yeah. We got to do every park. Yeah, we got to do every ride, every park. Yeah, that's it. So what is it?

It's people watching movies, and then a gangster comes in? No, I think it would, yeah, if you're basing it on the ride. Or it's, you know what? It's the story of what some of those Billy Crystal openings were, where he falls into the projector. And now you're in a madcap chase through all of Hollywood history. And you know some up-and-comer is going to be in a tuxedo

and go, you ain't seen nothing yet, you know. Everybody's gunning for the Jolson part. Yeah. That's the hottest part in town. Not half the Jolson. Not necessarily the makeup of the Jolson part, but the iconic line. Sebastian Stan is really gunning to be Jolson in Great Movie Ride the movie. I feel like you could get a bunch of executives excited and be like, and then you're in The Wizard of Oz, but then you're an alien.

And they'd be like, okay. I like the sound of this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so maybe we'll pitch it. But then what's the worst thing that could happen to you? I don't know. Say some ne'er-do-well coming along who likes to suck on jewels. Well, that's obviously the antagonist of the film. Also following you through the movies yeah is this in movie form you might

have to go like it's the western hijacker and the gangster hijacker yeah you might need to pick up a couple pick up a couple of them in the different movies that also goes with them and then and then the finale of it is just the full ending of Wizard of Oz except our new characters are in it. Yes. Well, the real ending is you just watch clips from old movies. Yeah, yeah. But before that, there'll be a couple endings. The climax of the

plot tension is just Wizard of Oz. It's just Wizard of Oz, right. And now you've got Margaret Hamilton in there. Now we've got Margaret Hamilton, yes. We're staying on our camp around the roads. Deep fake Margaret Hamilton. Because the whole movie is going to be very deep fake heavy. Because you're going to need the old stars there. But of course, most of them are dead.

So you'll have to deep fake it. And they'll look a little creepy. But that's part of it. That's part of the atmosphere of this movie. That's what we love. Filmgoers in the 2020s love to see animated corpses. And I will be happy to put the dots on my face and motion capture Margaret

Hamilton's character so they can use my performance as a template for The Wicked Witch. I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect but I will study hard. Be careful. Remember, you've got to melt. I know I have to melt and I will melt. I understand. That's going to be tough for them to track, too.

I'm willing to take an acting class to learn to melt the way Margaret did. Because I want to get this right. This is a good pitch, maybe. It's probably a good pitch. And it's, of course, a good pitch because Disney will be like, oh, we own this already. Even though it's just fate. Whatever.

But we own the idea. What's the problem with most movies they aren't all movies that's right well not our movie we take you now too we could just send this clip to disney right right now and maybe they'll take a meeting especially because we want to hear this guy's take on margaret ham. You want to see it. He'll act it out for you in the room. And the guy in the diaper. He's really... I like that guy in the diaper. The diaper guy will be part of it?

Okay, because we're not interested if not. There's so many Shirley Temples on the field in this one. And then they're all wearing cowboy hats. And at one point you could see a crew guy rush by to give one of them the cowboy hat again. And you'd stub it back on the curly wig.

There's a bunch of whips. Dancing cheek to cheek happens. Then it all culminates in When You Wish Upon a Star, which I think maybe the other one also did. I think both of these have When You Wish Upon a Star and Hooray for Hollywood. And literally the two shows, Disney's 87 and 84 shows. Yeah, they both end with When You Wish Upon a Star. Wow. Can you imagine just if today they just did the 2021 halftime show again?

Yeah. Yeah. It's possible, I guess. Another weird thing that I noticed, so you got George Burns, you got Mickey Rooney, but there were no actresses from the golden age of Hollywood. But then you do get the woman from Flashdance. Do you?

Do you? I don't think you get the, you mean the singer? The dancer. Oh, I don't think you get the re you mean the singer the dancer oh i don't know actually there's a flash dance sequence i feel like it's the real i don't i wouldn't she gets a credit oh she get her name comes up on screen oh well then maybe okay i didn't catch that the real flash dancer so are you you're saying well that's good or are you saying I want one of the classic stars from yesteryear? Well, it was just kind of like, again, jumped decades forward to like, wait, 87, Flashdance would have come out around then? If you could plus this one up, who would you like to have seen?

Well, is Mae West still alive in 87? Oh, good question. I think long ago, but I'm not sure. Or if Shirley Temple Black came out leading that army of Shirley Temples. Okay. Mae West died in 1980. Oh, not that long ago. Shirley Temple,

perhaps. The real Shirley Temple leading an army of temples. That's going into Great Movie Ride, the movie. It throws you off guard because at first you're like, huh? But they're so adorable.

Yeah, right. Yeah, and then they start, then they take those lollipops they got and quickly sharpen them and stab them into your eyes. They actually have xenomorph. That's part of the Great Movie Ride, the ride, or the movie.

Oh, that's a cool backstory. So the xenomorph that you see in the ride you don't realize is Shirley Temple. Exactly exactly yes wow there was at some point shifting shirley temple took a xenomorph as a husband and they had half alien babies and they met me opening up that's real they met at the opening of disney and jim studio yep that's right they were happily married that's in the movie yeah we we show the wedding in the movie um the the very ending of this thing uh all right here's and here's how do you go out other than fake mickey Fake Mickey. 84, exact same thing.

It's also fake Mickey. Yeah, yeah. They just copped. Disney is getting lazy at this point. If there's a general sense that we are not excited about the Super Bowl halftime show, maybe it's because Disney shut up and cranked out the same thing twice. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure they brought Mickey Rooney one time, but Mickey can't make up for the creative

deficiencies. Yeah, I know. I agree. It's very lazy. I guess, yeah, we're not into the golden age of 90s Disney, yeah, late 80s Disney. So I'll blame it on some of that, maybe. Yeah, yeah. disney yeah late 80s disney so i'll blame it on some of that maybe yeah yeah um it's just i think they let the entire 1980s pass without ever having a performer who was popular in the 1980s

there's no madonna there wasn't michael jackson yet there is not springsteen for many years certainly there is no prince chubby checker 88 i mean he probably did he must he probably did like return of the twist in 86 oh yeah yeah uh um and of course 89 elvis presto elvis presto elvis magician elvis presto the elvis magician is the biggest thing to file away for super bowl yeah we can't we can't do it now but i want to do oh boy oh no it's why i'm glad we got this guidance from the listeners just tackle the disney ones yeah and then so that we can let uh elvis presto breathe okay i just want to say the name of it though 1950s rock and roll bebop bamboozled in 3d that's the name of the show 1989 bamboozled bebop bamboozled and this is because this is the one

where you went to get 3d glasses yes it was a 3D halftime show. What could that have meant on your fuzzy television, your fuzzy 4x3 TV in 1989? But all I know is that one of the first songs is Rock This Town by the Stray Cats. So we will do it. Oh, well, I was wrong. One song from the 80s. That's true. All right, the songs are played.

Footloose is played. Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. I didn't realize I walked into Stray Cats content. That's right. All right, the songs are played. Footloose is played. Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. I didn't realize I walked into Stray Cats content. That's right. You were Bebop Bamboozled. I just got Bebop Bamboozled in 3D. That's another show Jason's going to do in a second.

Bebop Bamboozled. And then 3D in that one means three diapers. Yeah. The performer credited on screen during the flash, it's Maureen Jahan, who was Jennifer Beals' body double for the dancing sequences. Okay.

That's something. So that's something. Some legitimacy. Yeah. Wow. I'd rather have seen Tallulah Bankhead do a performance like that in that show. There we go.

Now we're talking. She died in the 60s, so she was not around for that. She's also on Campo around my Instagram. I'm not the guy. I don't even know exactly what Tallulah Bankhead is. She was on I Love Lucy a few times, at least once. Don't get mad at me. She was the black widow on the 60s Batman.

Okay, I thought she was a Batman person. And she just was one of those, I smoke and I drink and I'm all over the place. She had the deep voice and she was funny. You've seen her. Probably. You've seen Mrs. Bankhead. You've seen her, you love her.

I'll get to know her really well whenever we get to the Tallulah Bankhead deep dive. I'm sure it's not too far away. She's right around the corner. My birthday's coming up. She would have been 160 years old. Okay, so we take you now to, I'd say, at least in terms of the amount of clips I pulled, the main attraction of this episode.

And I think one of the things fueling the desire for us to tackle Disney's halftime shows, that being what they perpetrated at Super Bowl XXV in 1991. Bizarre. Yeah. This one. Oh, yeah. Perverse.

Very strange. They're back in Tampa near Disney World, Giants versus Bills. This one, 1991, is the famous Whitney Houston Star Spangled Banner. Probably still one of the biggest moments of music in Super Bowl history. And the important context that that provides, you know, there was the they had the onus basically to do this extremely heartfelt elevated like the the greatest ever star spangled banner because we were in the thick of the gulf war at this time yes and that colors now while this now while whitney houston is this uh

you know well remember one of the greatest moments of her career uh that it kind of does encapsulate that time in a meaningful way um what disney did perhaps less so but we will give it its due uh you know this will never get portrayed in a movie like the whitney hou Houston one was recently. But we'll give it a full tribute now. So, I mean, in this, all right, I think the first person on screen probably explains this, you know, even better than we can. Ladies and gentlemen, boy, do we have a show for you.

And it's an all-kids cast. On behalf of the 2 000 children performing tonight we'd like to dedicate this halftime show to all the servicemen and women who are protecting us in the persian gulf and now live from tampa stadium it's the first ever all kids superbowl All kids. All kids. Okay. Got a bit of a qualm right at the top of this. Yeah. Protecting us in the Persian Gulf.

Go ahead. What were we being protected from? Because ostensibly it was the people of Kuwait being protected from Saddam Hussein. But I don't think I realize that they tried the protecting our freedom bullshit during the first Gulf War. We're, you know, we're next. Kuwait's one and America's two. I'm skipping a jump away. I'm skipping a jump.

Yeah, we, you know, they're going gonna start sending those scuds and jason what's important is that you just shut up and watch all these kids that's what's important okay i hate to be rude but that's what this little kid is saying that is yeah and you know shut your mouth we'll get some stock footage of the of the troops in their desert fatigues. Why, they're the star at some point. But first we kick off with this kid in the giant, like, Wide World of Sports headset in the ABC. You forget that they used to wear blazers with the ABC logo. Yeah.

Which you were like, you know, like, it looked like you worked at the ABC steakhouse. Now people just go on TV with no blazers. You don't even know who they work for. These are the days. Imagine being this kid. You know, he does it. There's a varying degree.

I don't want to, like, knock these children. And I won't knock this first one especially because imagine, like, okay, you are now introducing the Super Bowl halftime show. All right, get ready. 100 million people are watching you, kid. Yeah. You've got a block of dialogue that you have to do in one shot. He is.

Yeah, he's good. He gets it all in. He's good. Will I get closer to knocking other kids? Perhaps. So this one, you know, you kind of build to it, but I guess I have less notes on this and more clips. Basically, this is all there's a big small world overlay here, which makes it one of the first Disney halftime shows to like not in a big way to one of their theme park attractions. Right.

They also performed It's a Small World in the 77 one. So we're repeating ourselves once again. But what they didn't have was a big set that resembles Small World. And so you get your Mary Blair, your Raleigh Crump, whatever. I forget. Everybody worked on that. But you at least get some small world aesthetics a little bit, if kind of like haphazard,

temporary, cheap, half falling apart. But anyway, that's what you should picture is that there are, in most of these shots, small world vibes in general,

but they quickly make good on the promise of all kids as we follow. Basically, I think as it starts, it's all boy football players and all girl cheerleaders. Okay. Hundreds and hundreds. And we go to this. you want to get a cutie to pet yeah um what yeah so all kids halftime show. All right. Well, I assume that they won't be singing mildly sexual lyrics. Maybe the conservatives are right about the Disney company. They were right then.

They just missed it. They were way late. Isn't this worse than the halftime, than the seven-tenths of a second of a nipple? Absolutely, it is. Yeah. Cutie to pet. These are children and so many of them. A thousand children. Also, cutie to pet. These are children, and so many of them. A thousand children.

Also, this song stinks. I kind of believe, with apologies to Jason, I kind of believe that no good song was written in the first half of the 20th century. This is a piece of shit. You can't use this song as the... I know, but I'm just saying. They're still playing a grandma here. You know't use this song as the- I know, but I'm just saying.

They're still playing a grandma here. You know what grandma will like is that football hero song. Because I looked it up. Did Disney make this up and they didn't? That song's been around for a long time. And it was the subject even of a Popeye cartoon. They did a cartoon with this title and using the song. I bet that's a better cartoon than this halftime show.

There's nowhere to go but up. This song is from 1933. It is now 1991, and it is in the Super Bowl halftime show. How does this map? Is this, how far back? Is that 60 years? What's 60 years from now?

I mean, I wouldn't put it past them that there's songs from the 1960s in a current halftime show. Although, no, they did level up. We haven't had McCartney and Rolling Stones for a while. Right. I believe Usher will be primarily playing songs. That's true. Recorded since 1995. Yes.

He has, yes. I don't know. He might do a little, you know, one of Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians classic hits. Did you know, growing up, did you know anybody who was actually in the Pennsylvanians? Scott, I just came across this phrase for the first time right now, and I'm trying to stay present and focus on what we're doing here. But I'm like, well, I guess I'm spending the rest of the day learning about Fred Waring. Oh, dear, come in. I discovered a new musical artist you should be hip to.

He's the cat's meow, and so are his Pennsylvanians. He died in 84, at 84, in State College, Pennsylvania, where Penn State is. So a roaring intro of a dead old man song. This is awful. And then who joins this same number? But once again, Minnie Mouse. You've got to be a football hero to get along with a beautiful girl.

You've got to be a touchdown happens here first of all he okay so i believe that who is on stage with her is football great warren moon uh thus immediately betraying the notion of an all-kids halftime show. Yes, right. Not true, and presumably it's not a kid in the mini-costume. Really goes out the window towards the end of the performance. The all-kids premise.

But like with a cute little wink that you could tell someone was very pleased with themselves. They're kids. They're typically kids. But then he bends down when she says cutie to pet and like what's happened where are you going and then but then luckily it's just it's just that he like is gets a bunch of children around him what is this what's happening why did disney do this i don't know really we're putting this out there we're going to uh the

dysanthuses of the world a lot of red meat. We know Ron listens. Well, now that he must be so excited to go back to being a big fish in a small pond. Back to basics, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now he can like, I found what I think is a penis shape in the tree of life. He can just poke and prod them. He's just walking around Animal Kingdom with binoculars, trying to find phallic shapes in all of the carvings.

Do you know that all across Disney's theme parks, there are special rooms in which people are allowed to whip out their genitalia? Those are called bathrooms. Yes, I know they are. And isn't that, I say, everybody should hold it until they're off property and out of our state. Or there'll be a priest or a nun supervising you when you go into these rooms. These toilets don't even contain holy water. Anyway, check out the giant convention of child pageants that is currently going on at a Marriott down the road. Good old-fashioned fun.

Has he ever judged a child pageant, do you think, Ron? He's on the way, I think. He should. He had a tendency to party with the high schoolers he used to teach when he was a teacher. Oh, that's right. He was one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah, one of those, I meant to say one of those cool guys.

One of those cool guys. Had a number of them in my high school, too. Did you ever party with a teacher? No, and they didn't really come back after pictures. Did I say we had a student teacher after we graduated to come watch wrestling with us? It was nothing weird. Did we, like, wrestle him in the front yard afterward? Yeah, a little bit.

I think you really jumped the gun with that there was nothing weird. If I say this before whatever else I say. In the middle of it, I realized it was a little bit. I think you really jumped the gun with that there was nothing weird. If I say this before whatever else I say. In the middle of it, I realized it was a little weird. I mean, he was 22 years old. We were 18 and we were like doing our fake backyard wrestling. It wasn't so bad. Did you make a point of not inviting any 17-year-olds

knowing there was this possibility? No. Maybe one or two of us were 17 when we graduated. Yeah, I think there was one or two. Wait, so were you 17. Yeah, I think there was one or two. Wait, so were you 17 and you were a 22-year-old? No, I was 18 when I graduated. Very good. Okay.

Yeah, in 2002. All right. Well, I sincerely hope this student teacher checked IDs. I was 17 for the first couple months of college, and I definitely saved a little scratchola buying that child ticket on the bus system. What, child? No, I didn't post. No, no. The child bus ticket

under 18. They called that a child ticket. I mean, you know what he pictured. You're wearing like a little Lord Fauntleroy outfit. Yes. My mother is on the back of the bus, I believe. Can I have one child ticket, please?

Take me down to the Commons. I need the new adventures of Daredevil and Batman. I am but a nine-year-old boy. Hmm. Well, he is lisping. Some of my classmates are drinking beer, and I'm afraid. That's more of an Ed Wynn.

Well, he'll be in the Salute to Hollywood performance. And he's on Campo Rama Instagram as well. Oh, I imagine. That's something Disney would have done in 1991. Why isn't Ed Wynn? I was just going to say, let's get a deep fake Ed Wynn on one of these future Super Bowls.

Like doing something. I don't know what it is. Sure. Well, you've got to go viral with these ads. If so, like, oh my God, the Super Bowl actually brought back Ed Wynn? Dua Lipa with Ed Wynn for some reason have done a collaboration. Dua Lipa recreated the iconic... I Love to Laugh?

There you go. Yeah, yeah. I Love to Laugh. Yeah. Yeah, sexy I Love to laugh, finally. Like a real sexy version of it. But you're still sampling. She unlocks the simmering sex potential we all knew was there.

But you're still sampling Ed's voice. Let me make sure there's not more of this mini routine. I don't remember where it goes. You gotta be a football hero To get along with the beautiful Your team, your team needs more practice Wow. Good thing I played that. Yeah, no, they needed to hear that. Like that Love Boat clip earlier.

The audience needed to hear that. I'm not sure exactly what's... Okay, well, this one I know I need to hear because we... That's kind of the girls routine but then we get to the boys the boy players no not just boy players boy referees joined by chip and dale I just kind of list every team. Yeah, kind of does can't touch us and then just starts listing like all the teams.

Yeah, to make sure they're all represented. Oh, oh, oh, Buffalo. Also, that is Chip and Dale in referee uniforms all, and then they're all doing the running man. Yeah. It's really something. The only plus up to that is that I don't know if we mentioned, Chip and Dale are in that one with fake Goofy, and they're wearing like chaps, which is really funny.

It's like they're naked except for chaps. I'm so sorry I missed that. Yeah, yeah. If they had those outfits doing this, it would be the ultimate, I think. Because they're just wearing referee shirts here. What do you think this stuff did in general to like the perception of Disney? And like, I mean, like for our parents, because like now I feel like it's so much more acceptable that like you've got like a regular life and then you like going to theme parks also.

This I think is one of these, this is like one of these wedges where like, I think you might watch this and think i am never going to disney world for as long as i live i think this did some damage and then our podcast helped heal yes that's what we're doing nation week at a time uh i think that these things were such um clusterfucks that 99.9% of everyone who watched them doesn't remember them. There's no memory of these whatsoever. Once in a while, somebody finds them on YouTube, but there's almost no person that's like,

oh, you know what was great? That all-child halftime show where Chip and Dale did the MC Hammer song. Nobody remembers that. I don't think any halftime show was ever complimented until michael jackson yes right i don't think there was anyone ever had a kind word to say you think that's correct other than maybe like uh i don't know uh andy williams wife

good job dear yeah yeah maybe certain performers got a compliment but yeah i don't know i i think you're almost giving these specials too much credit yeah you say that it made people not want to go to the park year is the michael jackson one late 90 93 so we're we are close to it i think we are watching one of the causes of it i think okay i think we must be like at least like it's within the two that's like okay okay, we need a change. So at this point, we head into what I will call the hero medley. And I don't know how much to tip who we're going to see midway through. You know what? I'll just play it. I'll let him introduce himself.

We need a hero. We need a hero. We need a hero. Here he comes. Get ready. Get ready. Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I would like to be I can put heart in any ego

Cause you are the wind beneath my wings And now we get true footage. Tonight, the real heroes are in the Middle East protecting peace for all of us. Okay. Basically, what happened there visually is the field was swarming with children, and then they all clear out of the way as if moses has entered they all part and like bow deferentially um they all take a knee ironically uh and then there's this big sweeping shot that pushes into just one child now there's only one child on the stage um and the most like blonde bang bowl cut children of the corn hair yes yeah yeah yes it's the kind of way yeah this would this it would make sense if you saw like a

hundred kids all with the same haircut um it's our town now uh just wait let me let me play his little dialogue again uh or, the end of the song. I was watching this with Aaron, and Aaron said, you know what this kid is? This is real life Butters. This is an actual, alive human Butters. Which, because if you like you know butters sing sometimes if you leave me now you take away the big and then and then is what like this we are celebrating all our troops you were just like the sweetest most sincere too sincere for his own good. Poor real butters.

Wow, real butters. Yeah, yeah. That's cute. Anyway, great job, little butters. This thing is just so full of surprises. And the way it zooms in, you're like, who is it? A big star? No, just some kid.

Some kid singing Wind Beneath Fire. Higher than an eagle. It's something and then but if you thought that the star power had peaked with real butters uh just wait till you see who they got next ladies and gentlemen the president of the united states good evening from the White House to everyone in the Sunshine State and around the world enjoying this wonderful game. I can fly higher than an eagle.

Not gonna do it. And then... And it zooms out and Barbara's sitting next to him and in that shot, I don't think she knew it had cut to her, but her eyes just seemed like very wide, like she's seen.

Oh yeah, she gives a real, you're right, she gives a real side eye. Yeah. Be calm, be nice, you're America's mother. You're America's mother. Be calm, be sweet, be America's mother. Hide your true self. From the Pug Wonderful Game.

What a pleasure it is to say hello to all the young people on the field tonight. Looking at you, it's easy to see why America can count on a bright and hopeful future. Well, that's right. Well, that's right. I know we're proud of our boys and all the ways they'll make America better. Oh, God. I really wish he- Yeah.

Hey, kid performers, better learn the geography of the Middle East because in 10 to 15 years, some of you might be visiting. You get to go. You get to go. It's what, little butters? Was George H.W., he was a pilot? Am I wrong? Maybe

Something like that I just was hoping he would actually parachute onto the field That's really where I'm getting at with that Pilot, MIA on November 22, 1963 All sorts of different positions It's too bad they phoned that in There was a video Yeah, that So I just, yeah It's too bad they phoned that in There was a video Yeah, yeah, yeah

That is a video The shot from the Very much like the beginning of Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue Which we covered on Club 3 Right Yeah You know who did show up though

Is a child from every state Whose parent is abroad In the Middle East Oh really? In there Oh wow A lot of clarifiers Yeah

Yeah, I believe he was Yes, he was a gunman Or a grunman? in the Middle East. Oh, really? Yeah. A lot of clarifiers. Yeah. Yeah, I believe he was, yes, he was a gunman. Or a grunman? Grumman? Oh, anyway. Is grunman a type of plane? I think so. Okay.

You can't be a grunman. No, you can't be a plane. This isn't Disney's planes. What do you think this is? Disney's planes? Yeah, he flew a torpedo bomber. Wow. So yeah, he could have jumped out of a plane and gone to the Super Bowl.

That's what I'm getting at. Yeah, well, that's one way that his son outdid him with that cool landing on the aircraft carrier. Yeah, that's right, with the suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A great ceremony. Yeah. I just labeled this one Songs of Unity. i don't know exactly what it is is this

where characters oh yeah now we got characters in the picture we're getting basically we're getting epcotty like they they clearly went and got all the epcot costumes because at some point you see winnie the pooh in canadian garb don't forget that that in epcot rules winnie the pooh is canadian like a Mountie outfit. Yeah. Which I love. What is there not to like about it? It always makes me smile. I guess any outfit Pooh has on is good.

But that, a Mountie one. He also has the no pants. He's just wearing the Mountie jacket with the hat, I believe. I think that's right. Just a jacket and no pants. That's great. Which is not's right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, just a jacket and no pants. I think, yeah, he is. That's great.

Which is not how the Mounties do it, as far as I know. Yes. That nudity was received more quietly at the halftime show than others. Dudley Do-Right has pants on. Oh, yeah. Yes. Mickey's out. Mickey's America, of course.

He's waving back and forth. Bicentennial Mickey. Take that out of story. We're in case. Now, that is not By the World of Coke But it's a song That was used Right?

Yeah The lyrics were changed For By the World of Coke And this special Is produced by Coca-Cola Oh okay Yeah yeah Yes right

Oh right yes Later yes Somebody is presented By Coca-Cola Right right So we get Now the full Small world set is out And now all the There's no more Yes, right. Oh, right. Yes, later. Yes, somebody is presented by Coca-Cola. Right, right. So now the full Small World set is out, and now there's no more football kids and cheerleader kids.

They're all representing. We got our little Swiss girl outfits. Everybody's a Small World doll now, basically. Yes. Living dolls, you see. None of this is actively awful. It's just kind of inane. I mean it's good to see the outside a small world

on a football field. Yeah floats and stuff. It's not the best representation of it I've ever seen but just for the novelty of it they've constructed it's a small world on a football field at halftime. I can't be mad at that. It is funny that two years before this,

they opened a Hollywood themed theme park and it's like, oh, we already did too many Hollywood halftime shows. What did we get? Small World? Yeah, right? There's international conflict. We ever done that before?

I don't think so. I don't know. That always works. Should we check a tape? Nah. Well, and it's what you gotta like about this and the next one, which is like recreations of theme park rides on the Super Bowl field.

But before we get to that, here's where we're like starting to get the right idea. This is what I'm saying about the gradient from marching band up to pop stars is like we are. This what is about to happen is by far the most relevant thing that has happened at a Super Bowl halftime show ever. Right. And yet it is, they have to wait.

They're pretty sidelined and it's about as embarrassing for them as it could be. And here it is. And now, to honor our Armed Forces children, Joe Cagona proudly presents the new kids on the block. Yeah, hi, Armed Forces kids.

I know that you're upset that your father is in Iraq. There's no way to explain what's happening there and why he's there. But Coca-Cola has arranged the New Kids on the Block for you. Yeah, that's like, I guess it's like Bob Hope entertaining the troops in some way. New Kids on the Block entertaining the troops. Kids. Yeah. Makes sense.

Kids, you do need to get to Tampa. So figuring out travel arrangements. But then like who they have to prefer. Because like, all right, it's in 1891. They are very popular. The halftime show could have just been ladies and gentlemen, new kids on the block. And then they do 12 minutes.

Sure. But they hadn't figured that out yet. So they like, no, you can't just cut to the new kids on the block and that's it there's got to be a bunch of razzle dazzle crap right they have to be performing in front of a bunch of child clowns with big round rouge on their cheeks and then like you know at some point they're who's the Disney hen character? Oh, oh. Is it Clara? Clara the hen? It's Claire Belkow.

Yeah. And horse, horse collar. But I know you're talking about the hen with the bonnet. Is it Clara Cluck? Clara Cluck. Okay. Yes. Clara Cluck.

Well, at some point, while they're all busting moves, Clara Cluck, a hen in a bonnet, comes out and kind of like dances along. Ooh, yeah, go Jordan. Why? Why do you do this to them? We don't have Clara Cluck at the ready, and yet Clara Cluck performed at the Super Bowl. But like Katy Perry, it has the shark, of course, the iconic shark. Well, that was good. The left shark was good.

The left shark was leaned on a little too hard for a while. I don't disagree with that, but I'm just saying this could have been a moment where it was like the new kids version of the left shark. Yes. She also had the big lion. She was right. I always thought that was very cool. I don't remember that.

I don't remember much of her halftime show, despite seeing her in concert several years later, where I think she was still, it was an awkward amount of time enough that I liked that Left Shark was part of the show. Oh, yeah. And that lights up the screen. Ladies and gentlemen, Left Shark.

If I was at her Vegas residency and Left Shark came out, I would lose my mind. I don't know. Well, there's the big shit log she sings with. There's the big toilet. I know. I was excited. I wanted to see it.

But if suddenly Left Shark pops out of the big toilet. She should have gifted U2 that big toilet for the Sphere residency. That's true. Yeah. They should have had some sort of toilet song. That stage was so minimal. There's nothing on it.

That's true. I think you could have used a big toilet. You could have just lowered it. It could have just been the seat. The stage could have just been the toilet seat at the sphere. We went from Brian Eno, whatever turntable. If they could have projected that the walls of the sphere were the

walls of the bowl and they flush at some point and you see water coming down the sides. They haven't turned sphere into a toilet yet. Who's the artist to do that, you think? That'd be like if there was a Sphere residency by the Jerky Boys. Yeah, that might be coming up.

Maybe that's where they're heading. There are not seemingly that many bands signing up for this thing. I know, it's weird. Even though every week there's a new article by the New York Post saying so-and-so is considering doing this year. That's right. Okay.

The Jerky Boys are considering a residency. We're hovering around Jerky Boys. We're excited. And I didn't do anything wrong also. Okay. Then we get, don't worry. The big popular band is not allowed to perform without a bunch of embarrassing stuff for long

because a bunch of kids run out on the field. This one's for the children. They're going to sit on the steps with some kids. The children of the world. And I do love the directing here, where as it kind of pans to the left, big character balloons inflate. Like Mardi Gras style.

To see the inflatable balloons. Yeah. We've got to keep them in history. There is just one moon and one gold moon. Oh, that's right. There's this Zoom that we're just going to have to post.

All right. Alive Butters is back. And then there's this Zoom in unexplained to just this one child who is so awkward. Like Alfalfa. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. And he's with a very tall Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I don't know why she's very tall necessarily.

Compared to the child. Yes. Towers above this child. Yeah. He's got so many, he's got like lots of flowers on his, I don't know what he is. And he looks really, he looks as scared as any of us would have been to have a shot of us at the Super Bowl. Yeah.

Jason, did you have that outfit as a child? Yeah. Our neighbors were distant Habsburg relatives and they gave us hand-me-down jackets. Or that's the outfit you wore to fool the bus driver into giving you the child discount. I need

the extra dollar in my pocket for this three-minute bus ride from the hill, down the hill to the center of town. That's what you saved as a dollar. It was a dollar or two i forget all i need to do is create a false identity um look i'm wearing a bow tie you only children and very old men wear bow ties have you heard have you heard of our gang well i'm in it but i'm young if you just yeah if you just quickly take and made a cow lick just like uh squirted some gatorade into your hair and then uh all right and then uh i think

you get a little by now real mickey is doing they are not uh going to weird uh screeching incorrect mickey uh and a nice message message from Mickey Mouse to close it out. And thanks to our armed forces everywhere. Real Mickey, they got him. Everywhere. So hooray for Hollywood. And then a few years later, thanks to our armed forces everywhere. This feels impossible that they would allow today,

that they would allow Mickey to come anywhere near a conflict. The military-industrial complex? Yes. Let's keep those profits coming, boys. The war machine must roll on. Well, also, if they had a clip of Joe Biden, Dr. Jill Biden saying like, well, we want to thank, want to welcome everyone. Half the stadium would be like. Yes, their eyes would turn white.

They're foaming at the mouth. Yes. Different time, different time. But we were united back then or just didn't have the information we needed to not be united or something. We were united in apathy toward these halftime shows. Yeah, mainly that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go take a piss. Make some more dip for those ruffles. That's that. So that's kind of like in in you could say one of the craziest maybe the craziest one disney produced one of the weirdest ones and and let me add to the the strangeness of this by saying what i just found out which is that this did not air what gulf at least not as it was occurring Because we were in the full swing of the Gulf War, there was so much concern over Gulf War updates. Instead, at least in the majority of the country, they cut to Peter Jennings providing a Gulf War update.

And this was aired maybe after the Super Bowl. Hey, stick around to see the halftime show, which we've been sitting on for an hour and a half they buried this and maybe rightfully so and even then it wasn't aired everywhere because a lot of the affiliates had a obligation to play a new sitcom which i think was called davis's rules oh yeah i just saw what is who's on davis i don't know what What was the day? Why don't I have this information? It's Randy Quaid. Oh, Randy Quaid. Okay, I didn't see that. And Jonathan Winters?

Yes. I sent Andrew Grissom a picture of Davis Rules three days ago. That's what it's from. I sent Andrew Grissom so much crap, I can't even remember. Keep it straight. Something I sent him days ago. In this show, Jonathan Winters plays Gunny Davis. Gunny Davis is not Anthony Kiedis' father, Blackie Dammit.

Blackie Dammit is not Gunny Davis. Gunny, yeah, Blackie Dammit is not Gunny Davis. Okay, how many days ago? Five days ago, I sent Andrew Grissom a picture and a description on Facebook of Davis Rules. No, not Davis Rules. Davis Rules. And then he said that he's on a Jonathan Winters deep dive lately, so that's a good timing that I sent that. Oh, uh-huh.

Well, it's a good sign that Andrew should turn around, stop going too deep, or you'll end up at Davis Rules. And I said, did you stumble on Davis Rules? He said, I did not. I was mainly watching talk show bits. How many episodes were made of Davis Rules? 29. Two seasons. This is a two season show.

Patricia Clarkson is on it. Bonnie Hunt is on it. Yeah. Sitcom royalty. Everybody probably made a million dollars. A young Giovanni Ribisi. Yeah. Parker Selfridge himself cut his teeth on Davis Rules. sitcom royalty everybody probably made a million dollars a young Giovanni Ribisi yeah Parker Selfridge himself

was cut his teeth on Davis Rules Deborah Jo Rupp as well who's Deborah Jo Rupp from that 70s show oh oh wow

yeah well he's just called Vonnie Ribisi that's a name I can't make heads or tails of Vonnie Vonnie

there's a Cranston in here I think too yep Davis Rules Cranston in Davis, I think, too. Yep. What? Davis Rules. Cranston and Davis Rules. There he is. Oh, my God.

Wow. He looks like Alan Thicke there. Yeah. Kind of like 90s dad hair. Oh, he could do a great thick Alan Thicke type character, too. Oh, sure. Well, there was another show to pitch. Yeah.

Back channel thick into a Cranston show. Okay. So that is that, we are heading uh towards the finish line something that i should have said at the beginning this is an executive decision i made put this blame on me uh if you wanted to hear about the millennium halftime show uh which is the the what what this is the last disney super bowl halime show, Super Bowl 34 in 2000, called Tapestry of Nations, much like the actual show that disturbed Epcot guests for around the millennium times. We covered this kind of thoroughly in our second gate episode, Walt Disney World Millennium Celebration. Go look that up.

Also, the episode where we met and fell in love with Leonardo Columbus. A lot of fun in that one. So if you are excited to hear a lot more about khaki-clad Phil Collins singing Two Worlds from Tarzan, I think we also talked about it with Kevin Perger in Tarzan Rocks. If you're not happy about this, if there's some major component of Tapestry of Nations that you know we didn't talk about on the show, please harass us at our homes and we will make sure that we come to our house.

We'll give our addresses at the very end and we'll make sure that we cover this properly. But that was why I felt it may be kind of like covered territory, as technically is the last thing that we're talking about. And to segue into that, so this happens in 1991, technically doesn't air in the allotted time, kind of weird and embarrassing. They're aging it down with new kids, but humiliating them in the process.

The next year, winter magic, ice skating from Brian Boitano and Dorothy Hamill on the tiniest rinks you've ever seen. Gloria Estefan does admittedly elevate that performance. But here's what happens. Winter Magic is definitely the last of the razzle-dazzle crap era. And with the reputation of Super Bowl halftime shows at this point having become uh you know a bunch of nonsense for grandma uh Fox which is not airing the Super Bowl that year strikes back and airs a I don't know if they were shooting it live but at least like exactly when the halftime show started uh Fox aired an

original in living color anti-halftime show which trounced them in the ratings like as so many people went over to and live in color huge success finally showed the nfl uh we can't do uh you know and now a salute to the general idea of children um so that is why the next year they just go all right who is the biggest celebrity on the planet? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson will do this. That adds fuel to the fire of that halftime show with Michael Jackson. At least that year of the Super Bowl remains, I believe, or did for a long time in the top 10 programs ever aired on television, rate-wise. It was so massive. I mean, all the Super Bowls are huge and were huge.

But I think that one especially sticks around let them know this is what we need to do from now on that having been said um it's not as if they immediately were able to book a big stable of artists because the next year was like kind of a mix of country people yeah um and basically they i think the nfl um they wanted michael jackson ratings and michael jackson style fame but maybe they didn't like dealing with michael jackson sure and they were concerned about some of the stuff and the crotch grabbing and the fact and that when the show started he came out and just didn't just stood still for over a minute um everyone's like is this a problem is he dying what is it and it was just

building tension but if you watch it now it is weird yeah how much of his 12 minutes are silence um so anyways what they set out to do they're like what if we can kind of split the difference we get some stars but really if what we go for is mtv style you know, it's like a concert and it's kind of edgy and hip but we don't have to get the ego of a Michael Jackson side and maybe Disney would still want to help us out with this. And that's what leads

us to the immortal 1995 Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye halftime show. If the Small World one teased it, this one is just fullyidden Eye halftime show. If the Small World one teased it, this one is just fully the entire halftime show is the promotion of a new ride. Yes.

Yeah. It's wild. Yeah. Which I have watched this a number of times, but I always forget the one big moment and who the two stars are. Because there's just so much spectacle happening. It really confused me.

I definitely watched this as it aired. I was so thrilled that they were being so excited for that ride. It's just a big ride promo and that's the halftime show. I don't think I knew who the performers were at the time. And truly it is. I mean, a lot of it is literally Indiana Jones and Marion are lost. There's a bunch of crap happening around them. Now, definitely we talked about some bits of this in one of our first episodes,

literally one of our first, which was the Indiana Jones adventure. If we've kind of talked about something before, I like to go back and check what did we say about it to not double up, but boy, was that a long time ago. And one thing I'm not willing to do is listen to the first episodes i've i listen to older ones now but the first ones i am petrified of you just haven't even tried right that's just like i'm not so like insecure that i can't listen to uh older episodes or my self-talk or something but the first one's no desire. Yeah, I don't want to. Well, that's why we have to redo them. I guess so.

Yeah, yeah. Keep pounding that drum, boys. I'm just saying, you know. Oh, there's some drum pounding in this. What a coincidence. I say drum pounding, but I can't tell if they're actually playing the big ceremonial

drums. That's a question. I think we do still have some live music here, attempts at live music because there are some errors with the music. That's my clue there. So this is at the end of January 1995. This one is happening in

Miami, Joe Robbie Stadium. Chargers versus 49ers. After everybody calms down from the Kathie Lee Gifford National Anthem, then this show occurs. End of January, Temple of the Forbidden Eye is opening at Disneyland March 4th, 1995. So this is America's introduction to the forbidden eye, to Mara, to not looking into in Tamara's eye. I'm sure everyone clocked all of that.

Oh, yeah. Held it for their next vacation. Let's just start at how they started it. And after some Indiana Jones pre-roll, they cut to a temple guard guy, bald guy, and this happens. Bring to me the trophy. There's a stilt guy. Yeah. the temple is rising up behind them it's it's a really it's a great cut to from this guy like bring the raw and he's he's got like skulls on big sticks and then he

and then he just looks so bored yeah immediately i like it's like he forgot that he would still be on and you know in lieu of the you know uh uh readers of lost ark idol the trophy he's discussing is the super bowl trophy this is the literal is the the vince lombardi trophy yeah uh which i i was refreshing my memory what's up with vince lombardi and he did wear a hat that was kind of like Indiana Jones' hat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There you go. Yeah.

So it really, it's actually very clean if you think about it. One to one. And yeah, that's sort of the story here. Indiana Jones is in the Temple of Mara, which is sprouted up in the middle of Joe Robbie Stadium. Perfect. And he is trying to get back the real Super Bowl trophy. Yeah. It's the pinnacle of it, really, in my mind.

And as far as what you're saying, what your definition is of, like, what did you call it? Razzle-dazzle crap. Razzle-dazzle crap. It's like one last hurrah of razzle-dazzle crap. It's one last big score. Although the next year might really be. Wait a minute.

What year are we talking? 95? I forget. Maybe it's Diana Ross after that. We'll tease it. It's Diana Ross after that. Yeah. Oh, well, yes, you're right.

Okay, that's true. You're right. I guess it's a different kind, but it's, yeah, yeah, you're right. No, you're right. You're right. Yeah, I'll tease it. We'll talk about it. I'll tease it at the end.

But yeah, you immediately cut to a drummer who looks like the snake from the ride i mean it's great if you want extra stuff of specifically the indiana jones adventure yes and still guys um and then uh pretty quickly ladies and gentlemen uh godmother of soul or whatever, Miss Patti LaBelle. I don't really know why she's in it yet. Yeah. Plot-wise, I don't know. I'm a little lost. Patti LaBelle's there.

She's been trapped in the temple, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Big name, big star. Sure. For a long time. Kind of makes sense. Yes.

Makes sense. Though songs that are definitely not recent Not super recent Yeah But closer to like 70s Stones The Stones or Prince

Or someone a little older Well okay 80s She had a New Attitude is from 1984 Is one of the songs she does Yeah So just An 11 year old

Yeah Yeah Anyway But she's fine. It's good. Behind the scenes info on this, the stage was full of, like, big holes that were exactly the size of her heel. Oh, wow. So they had to put a, the solution was to, like, put a little fiberglass, like, give her, like, some extra heel.

It has to be the heels. Certainly we can't change the shoes so they gave her like a little clear ski basically so that she wouldn't like fall into each peg hole that's like what i do for my toys i have to put a little like plastic thing under the hole in the foot in the shoe or whatever boot or whatever you use the stand you use the peg uh it depends sometimes the figure is a little bit harder to stand on its own. I tried to just have the figure stand on its own, but if not, you've got to put it in one of those little circles. Because G.I. Joe's always came with the black rectangle. And I never liked that.

Well, NECA sells like a clear circular one that fits a lot of figures that are six or seven inch. Send me a link. But then you also have the flying ones too where you can display the characters that fly. Fly, okay. With a little stick and then it's clear as well so you can have your flying characters. Oh, so you can get people in there, okay.

Yeah, your little pose go. Well, they should make NECAs of everything in this halftime show. I mean, I know there's Indiana Jones figures out there, but I want Patti LaBelle. I want all the flying characters. But she performs a song. You realize that

it's about securing the actual trophy and then into the stadium skydives Indiana Jones and Marion. Crazy.

Very exciting. Are they like on fire or are there like flares on them? Yeah, they have flares.

Flares, I think. It's nuts. It's crazy. Does Indiana Jones ever skydive in the movies? Well, he jumps out of a Yeah, flares, I think. It's nuts. It's crazy. Does Indiana Jones ever skydive in the movies? Well, he jumps out of a plane in Temple of Doom.

Okay. But they don't skydive. He uses the big inflatable raft, and they go from the plane up to that mountain and slide down. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So close, I guess. He doesn't do like a base jump like Ethan Hunt or something. So you have to skydive, and then you have to do basically a theme park

stunt show at the Super Bowl. Pretty wild. That's the gate. Well, it was separate people. Two people did the skydive and then they got swarmed by the extras and then the waiting main stunt people popped out. Smarter. Who are

Brian Friday is Indiana. Brian Friday is Indiana Jones. That's who did this. He and Marion are both from the Florida Stunt Show. They're from Disney MGM Studios. Nice. And that's, and they probably brought their own wardrobe too. It's really strange.

And Ethan Hunt's the perfect example. I was trying to think. If they break from music, this year's Usher, next year is Mission Impossible Live. Oh my God. And then it's not Tom Cruise and he's not even in it. He doesn't even do a voice. Just a guy is Ethan Hunt doing stunts and that's the Super Bowl. Yeah.

It sounds good to me. It does sound good to me. They do it better now. That's what you. Well, I also think there's a chance you just get Tom to do it. I mean... Oh. If something's getting wonky with the franchise, I don't know what happened.

I, you know... Well, they released the movie at a... Dead Reckoning's fine. I really like it, but yeah, I think it was not the right time to release it. Maybe that. But it's confusing, because you'd think it'd be... It's Tom Cruise mania with Maverick. Right.

Alternate ideas that Maverick meets Ethan Hunt. Oh, yeah, sure. They team up. Well, that's in great movie. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. But they could build the dead reckoning ramp in the parking lot of the Super Bowl. And he does that jump and goes over the top of whatever. Into.

Sofi Stadium. And then. You know what? Now, I would have gone against what I just said and have, like, he's not with us anymore, but a Robbie Knievel type to do the jump live, and then Tom pops up and does another stunt or something. I don't know. I think it's...

If you set this up, it'll all be Tom. Yeah, probably. That's why this just has to happen. Anyway, if something weird is happening with the franchise and we need to give it some new life I think halftime show is the way to go yeah and then the order of it is like I think

I'm oh wait what Rihanna was it's Rihanna Usher Tom Cruise and those are the halftime shows perfect yeah I mean I think what happened with the franchise is it got blindsided by the one two punch of a movie about barbie and then a movie about robert oppenheimer that did not help it yeah i agree no as same with haunted mansion

haunted mark my words well we would have all there would have been uh leto hatbox ghost mania out there in the it would have been the summer of hatbox ghost if it wasn't for those if that wasn't for that damn Barbie. I think Mishmash Bowl still did well, but it is wild to say. Actually, the underperforming movies this year were Indiana Jones and the Haunted Mansion. It's like, what? What was overperforming? Oh, Barbie and Oppenheimer.

And I was like, what? I haven't watched the entire film. From what I've seen, I like this halftime show more than Dial of Destiny. Look, it's short. You got to give it that. I will give it that. All right, now minus points for not having Harrison Ford, but plus points for not having 20 minutes

of deep fake de-aged Harrison Ford. I'm going to say, because I like Mangold. I'm usually a Mangold man. James Mangold, the director. James Mangold, yeah. What are your Mangold? But I noticed, did nobody see it in the theater? No.

No. Mangold, Mangold. But Night and Day. And you're a Night and Day guy. That's your answer is Night and Day? Night and Day. It's a big, kooky action movie. The biggest smile you've had on your face all record is Night and day. It's talking about night and day.

I watched Night and Day a while ago, and I was like, I like Night and Day. Coca-Cola presents Super Bowl halftime show Night and Day live. Anyways, so it's not Harrison and no presence from Harrison. There's lines, but it is not recorded by Harrison. But it is nuts. They skydive in and then it is pure action. Bunch of like, let's, you know, stay behind Marion, stay behind me. Marion's in, Marion's not in the ride.

This is, now we're getting a whole other thing. No, it's mostly like stunt show. Yeah. It's very stunt show to promote a ride on the other coast. A guy gets lit on fire and she has to do it very slowly yeah very carefully it's crazy to sit live on the super bowl it's not just like somebody back there kind of quietly does it like one actress has to light another guy on fire who tumbles into a pit. I mean, I don't know.

I'm suddenly, this one comes up in the list of worst Super Bowl halftime shows. Yeah, but not, yeah. Let's get that word out of here. I think, come on, if this happened today, if there was a Big Stone show. People would love it. Yes, yes, absolutely. It would be absolutely epic.

Do you like the snake handlers? Do you catch that shot? Other snake handlers? Do you catch that shot? Other snake handlers? There's so much going on. Two guys have big snakes. Real snakes. Real snakes, and they kind of slowly rotate around the Indiana Jones River. They sort of walk

and then at the very end, they're standing behind him, perfectly still holding the snakes. Because you're all so you can tell it's like we have to be very careful with these snakes in the middle of the football field there's yes there's snakes at the 50 yard line and then the game will continue in 10 minutes yeah that's so awesome so they're moving very slowly and you can tell they're standing very care i mean they they don't seem like aggressive snakes they're not the biggest

but it's still two guys holding like each holding like a two to three feet long snakes they got mellowed out they were given weed by anthony ketis's father yeah this is always outside of the super bowl hey we got all right we filled out the drummers. We filled out the people that are going to surround the skydivers to do the switch. Get Blackie Dammit on the phone. We need a little. We got to mellow out a little. Tensions are high. I mean, they must have been because to pepper in behind the scenes stuff,

this was never. We said this, that a lot of these things are kind of like never rehearsed, barely rehearsed. This was never run through said this, that a lot of these things are kind of never rehearsed, barely rehearsed. This was never run through fully on the field. It is a live stunt show where somebody is lit on fire and there are live snakes. It was never truly done. They did it in the parking lot. They ran it in the parking lot once, but it had never happened actually in the center of the field.

Yeah, that's crazy. So insane. And also that they never did it with like getting into the stadium putting all this stuff up uh uh breaking it down tearing it all away and some but somehow i think everybody just had a fucking attitude uh let's let's try it and it worked um one note that i found in looking up behind the scenes things about all super bowl halftime shows a the artists don't get paid right and you think well that's just that's an exposure thing sure but b neither does anyone else on the field no this was at least for a long time if not still true today i've so many times i saw an all volunteer cast a bunch of like like a lot

of the fighters in this are like from their volunteers from karate academies around miami wild why it's the super bowl there's so much money flying around what need could there be for this to be volunteer there's no need yeah okay yes need is the wrong word and that still holds for like professional dancers i don't know like rihanna had a lot of dancers doing very complicated moves last year i don't remember you have to pay your own dancers then i think maybe they cover i mean they do cover like all of the setup and accommodations and all that so like it's they don't give nothing right but it's you know much like a funny or die video they don't pay the star at the center of the video or right anyone else in the video right

which makes sense right so therefore you wouldn't have to pay. If you don't pay this person with a million dollars, you don't pay this person with zero dollars. So this thing keeps going. Indiana Jones and Marion get lost. They're like, and now we're like in the marketplace. And like, truly, I wonder if everybody doing it was like, I don't know where this is going.

I don't know. I don't. The choreography was no choreography. And then they end up at like a nightclub and they sit at a table and watch Tony Bennett perform. Yeah, Tony Bennett is here and the nightclub scene is set up and I'm like, I've forgotten.

And I'm like, oh my God, are they about to do the Temple of Doom nightclub sequence? Yeah. But no, it's a 69-year-old Tony Bennett. He's 69. He's 69 at the time. He seems very tired and he's still going today. No, he's passed away.

He's dead. Yes. Oh, did he? He did. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, I missed it. It sounds, I'd like that to be true. But he did do a couple of those duet albums with Lady Gaga.

Well, sure. So he was performing at the end of his life. But before he was dead, he was alive. Yeah. I just want to, I just want to. Cover yourself. I was wrong. But when did he pass?

In the last year or two? Yeah, anyway. Here's to more live times. Ladies and gentlemen, the club proudly presents the incomparable Mr. Tony Bennett. Um... If you listen close, he insisted on performing live. Yeah. And Patti LaBelle did not. That was all pre-recorded.

Right. But singing live means that he was like not on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think he can hear the music. And I don't think that's even his fault. There's a bunch of so much fucking shit. He seems distracted. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's distracted because immediately behind him, two feet behind

him, are a bunch of people dressed as waiters, so you won't notice them tearing and pawing at the set because they are the people putting it up. And then, look, they're going and going and then lights turn on. And in this Bleacher Report article about it,

they do say the guy producing it was just on the floor. All right, now I'm a waiter, and now I can put this up so that while we're before. It seemed like one man was running around and plugging everything in himself. That's how tossed together this was. That's insane. He is standing pretty still like Michael Jackson before him.

That's true, yeah. But there's also a lot of movement around him. Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah, no, like dancers with big headdresses and all that. You might notice in that clip that they say, and now the club presents. And like, why is it the club? Just the club.

They didn't come up with kind of an Indiana Jones-y. And then I found a news piece about this thing being prepared in the parking lot and in that you can see a set of this club and i i don't think it's true in the actual show in the uh in rehearsal the club set said Club Disneyland. But they didn't. Yeah, yeah. They decided, like, because now we're, where are we? Tony Bennett's there and it's Club Disneyland, but it's on the Super Bowl floor, but it's in the 30s.

What's happening? Yeah. At some point, Arturo Sandoval. He's in it. Trumpet player. Trumpet player. Yeah. he's in it trumpet player trumpet player Emilio Estefan was the music director of this

I learned from that piece Gloria's Husband and the band behind them is Miami Sound Machine which is notable towards the end where in the finale a guy in a tuxedo comes out playing a

keytar and that I think is one of the sound machine so there's this performance of the song Caravan which I only previously knew as a Redman sample oh yeah I played Caravan I played it in high school band oh okay

yeah that's a fun one then you kind of lose track of indiana jones and marion and then you realize they're just sitting and watching this at a table and the trophy is on the table and then a big second fight happens and the trophy is stolen and the trophy goes flying around um at some point here's this is a kathy marshall who played marion and is also from the the stunt show in Florida. The night we filmed, the extra got really excited and threw the trophy really hard. It hit me right in my nose.

Oh, no. I had two black eyes and a lot of makeup on for the Super Bowl. Oh, no. Jeez. That sucks. Yeah. And then it's all chaos because at some point somebody's wig comes off, like this weird silent movie hijinks. A guy flies into a piano,

and the one guy I was talking about who seemed to be running around doing everything himself, at some point, okay, the piano gag's about to happen, and he says, I had to make sure that the pin on the collapsible leg was pulled. For some reason, it didn't get pulled properly, so I'm hollering to the stuntman, the piano will not collapse!

The piano will not collapse. This one guy is just aware of every gag and every pin and everything that has to be on the wall. God bless you, sir. Mr. Asad. I didn't track the first name. This sword guy, this fire eater, spikes pop up. And then Indiana Jones gets the trophy back again. So it happens once and it happens again.

And then all of the, oh, that's something Mara talks about, like you'll be doomed for all eternity. And then this great little scene happens with all the stars, at last the meeting of Indiana Jones and Patti LaBelle. Well, Indiana Jones, you got your trophy back. So now tell me, sugar, what's next? I'm giving it to the winner of Super Bowl XXIX. Well, that's the right attitude, baby.

Well, I'm adding up a new brand. That's a great attitude. That's great. It's perfect. I'm giving it to the winner. It almost sounds like John Wayne at the start. I'm giving it to the, like, or Tom Howard Cosa, whatever. Someone of those guys with the old voice.

I love it. I love what this, so I kind of like this era where in the ride and this show, they just end the stunt show. Everybody decided Indiana Jones is whoever wants to be Indiana Jones. Sure, yeah. It was truly open. We didn't have to get Harrison and D.H. Harrison. And I like this performance.

You know what? This is my Indiana Jones. Well, that's the right attitude. That's the right attitude. It is great. I mean, that is, yes. You can't not like it, especially coming from the fact that it is canon now in the Indiana Jones ride universe. Well, this brings me to a point that I discovered that has been discussed.

Yeah. Is this halftime show canon? This has been dealt with by the Indiana Jones fan community. Oh, okay, good. They've gone over this because it involves all right because the ride is canon right mara's canon the idea that uh indiana jones had to be at uh the temple of the forbidden eye and that's right so this this was uh gone over and um in fact they asked um leland chi about this l Leland Chee is called Keeper of the Holocron.

He is the person who in Lucasfilm tracks all of the canon and the consistency. He's a big Lucasfilm story person. And he was asked about this. Is the halftime show canon? And he says, no. According to my notes, the Temple of the Forbidden Eye attraction is set in 1935, which would make it impossible for Indy to be with Marion at this time.

Oh, okay. So I don't think I realize this. The ride and therefore the halftime show are set in 1935. Interesting. That is one year before Raiders of the Lost Ark, which is 1936, which is some kind of reunion with Marion. Right, yes. So, yeah, so they're out of each other's orbit.

And I like that that's why it's not canon. It's not canon because of 1935, not because Patti LaBelle is in it. A time-traveling Tony Bennett. A Tony Bennett from our time not a what a five year old tony bennett yeah something like that but yet the indiana jones fandom.com has to reckon with this and they put every they give everything this this like specific classification where like you know you know whatever the first time sala showed up they'll put in the notes first appearance so they have to do it with this where they go mara first appearance patty labelle first appearance arturo sandoval first appearance locations club disneyland first

appearance wow yeah artifacts vince lombardi trophy first appearance wow right there was the arc and then there was the Vince Lombardi trophy. So they're still dealing with it. They're giving it the respect it deserves. And I hope so are we because this one I love. I know we just chatted on all that, but the other stuff

didn't have sword swallowing and spikes and stunts. This is cool. This is the most theme park-y, theme park-y, goofy one. Extreme. We got 12 minutes. When we were kids,

we got 12 minutes of theme park nonsense yeah i know uh in the super bowl and uh it's maybe more than we can ask for today it's beautiful so let's let's fire one of these things up let's do ethan hunt let's do john wick live and it's just some guy sure yeah why not uh uh they i think we're past this franchise but there should have been a Taken halftime show for all three Takens every single year. Every year, yeah. My daughter.

And she also has a Super Bowl trophy. She's been taken with the trophy. And then he's got to go, yeah. My daughter was tasked with delivering the trophy. Right, and he was kidnapped. Anyway, it's great. Fun to go through all these. And now what this opens up is Super Bowl halftime shows two, in which time we will certainly meet Elvis Presto.

He of Bob Bamboozled. Be Bob Bamboozled. Which I will fully remove this Indianaones one from the discussion of worst of course but i will put one in uh and i've without going into it any further we'll just this will be a tease for next time three words that might uh terrify you to your core the words are blues brothers bash that you survived this year of podcast the ride chilling yeah i know Blues Brothers Bash. That. You survived this year of Podcast The Ride. Chilling words.

Yeah, I know. Just start imagining what it is. Get familiar with it because, you know, I can only imagine there will be 90 minutes about only that. Them doing a little bit of football.

I need a football hero. And the mouth harp, you know. We're doing that song again. After we're getting the harmon harp, you know. We're doing that song again. After we're good. Harmonica, you know. We already gave it up for Chicago, but now it's time

to give it up for Hollywood. That's Susie Ballyhooey Hollywood. All right. Well, that's coming next year. You can find us on the socials at Podcast The Ride.

Merch is available in our TeePublic store for three bonus episodes every month. Check out Podcast The Ride the second gate or get one more bonus episode on our VIP tier, Club 3. You will find all of that at patreon.com slash podcasttheride. Related to this, things coming to the second gate.

I still want to get to the opening of the Sky Dome. It's kind of in the same zone as this. And without saying what it is, I think my birthday shot in July might be in this neck of the woods. Great. So start imagining. I would never claim Blues Brothers Bash for myself.

That would be far too selfish. Thank you for doing that. Yeah, never, never. That belongs to all of us. I wouldn't do it. It belongs to everyone in America. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.

Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.