Podcast: The Ride - Disney's Animal Kingdom with Jackie Johnson

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

Jackie Johnson (Natch Beaut podcast) joins us for a big picture look at Disney's animal and conversation focused theme park. Mike Fink Keel Boats episode now on the Second Gate feed! patreon.com/podcasttheride Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there, Forever Dog listeners. I'm Michael Wolff. And I'm Colin O'Brien. And we're the hosts of America's loudest podcast, Literati! Shh! Sorry, sorry. We are recording in the library. Literati is a podcast about books and the idiots who write them, featuring real readings from some of your favorite authors. And some of your favorite comedians pretending to be authors. Mostly that one. Plus, we dole out tons of amazing, unsolicited writing advice because we believe everyone has at least one great novel in them. Hey, just last week, I had to get a novel surgically removed from my small intestine.

I accidentally sat on my bookshelf, and now I have three good novels inside me. Very impressive. New episodes of Literati are premiering on Monday, February 4th, and every Monday after that until we die. And that is contractual. Stick around until after the show to hear a special sneak preview of our interview with comedian Josh Sharp reading under his pseudonym, Clint Dimples. And be sure to subscribe to Literati on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And that's the end of that chapter.

Forever. Dog. Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And that's the end of that chapter. Forever Dog. Beware. On the following podcast adventure, you'll come face to face with pigs wearing wigs, majestic Ringo stars, Dutch theme park acid trips, and condemnation of Mike's spending habits. Jackie Johnson joins us on a safari to Walt Disney World's Animal Kingdom. Please don't feed the animals.

It's Podcast The Ride. Welcome to Podcasts Arrive, the theme park podcast hosted by three men whose podcast mission to review every piece of Disneyland will not be complete until they figure out how to send one of their hosts to get made up at the Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boutique. My name is Mike Carlson. I'll volunteer to do it if you guys don't want to but i'll ask my co-host jason sheridan would you get made up um at the bibbidi-bobbidi boutique i don't what what would be stopping because no matter girls yeah but uh money has no age i think they would take your money. I feel like adults probably have gone there. Scott Gardner here. Is Disney the most progressive place? This I don't know.

There were issues with the same-sex dancing, but that was in the 80s. Now there's Gay Day, and that's fine. But I don't know. The makeup depends on the person. I think it's just child versus adult, actually. It doesn't actually have to do with if they would put us in a dress, because I think they probably would.

I think it's just more of like, this is for children. The Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boutique is for children. Oh, the costuming aspect, I think they probably wouldn't have the correct size. Certainly. I think it's a size issue more than anything else. Yeah. Right. Okay. We should bring our guests in on this. We should bring this discussion. This was a little bit tooled to our guests. I'm trying to think of something. But folks, you know our guests from the

podcast, Natch Butte. Ladies and gentlemen, Jackie Johnson is here. I'm so excited. This is the best Sunday ever. So excited. Wonderful. Thank you Sunday ever. I'm so excited. Thank you for being here. And you tweeted out that you were going to be on the show, and a lot of people were excited, and that got me excited.

But also, somebody did mention the Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boutique. Is this the topic? Sadly, it's not, but... I feel really sad. I've actually never even been in there. We all need to... Such a letdown. Were you aware of it, though? Yes.

We'll get into it, but I had never even stepped foot in a disney park till i was 22 years old oh so uh i missed it because i would have eaten that shit up honey it's like glamour shops but disney my two interests combined baby i would have loved it i don't think i don't know i'd have to go in there but i think we could fool them into thinking jason's a child well they were experimenting you know yeah in like a little beanie cap because they can't get him a big lolly right give him a huge lolly that forced perspective that's it they weren't doing like boy you know girls be princesses boys will make you look like a pirate is that for a little while maybe still yeah i think there's something like that but i assume now there's flexibility with that i'll call them out for like gender neutrality i'll be like my

motherfucking kid wants to put on a fucking tinkerbell dress sure absolutely you know don't care right so pop that dress on and let's get the fuck out of here. You're talking about Jason. Yes. Right. Okay. I can play a bitchy mom. Okay.

I don't know if you've ever seen my home goods commercial. I have not seen your home goods commercial. I'd love to. So you're Jason's mom in this scenario. Okay. If they put up any fight at all. Right. If they put up any fight at all. Right. If they put up any fight.

I'm sorry, but your son actually looks like a full grown adult. Excuse me. He has a hormonal condition. You know, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. That plays well. I'll do whatever.

We don't need to do this until we're like sort of at the end, I think, and scraping sort of the bottom of the barrel for stuff to talk about. Right. We don't need to do other things. So we're even older. So it's even a tougher. Yeah. We're in our late 50s, I think, by the time we're out of...

That's how long this goes. Yeah, I think so. Maybe we'll actually have a real child at that point that we could force. I don't know, a couple years, if that would be okay. I don't think I'll be ready then. Yeah. Yeah, so we'll figure that out then, I think. We don't have to solve it.

But it's still the scenario, even with the actual child, the scenario is still to get Jason to do it. Yes, not our child of ours. Yeah, just Jason. It just fleshes out the illusion of you as the mom that you have a second child. Yes. A baby and one with a condition. Yeah, we'll get there. Well, I'm glad we have this all planned out now.

So, no Disney Park's still 22, but you're into it now. Yeah, so I grew up in dallas and we have six legs over texas we have six legs hurricane harbor so that's where i was all summer long honey i mean all summer long i was up in six flags riding the rides eating the nasty food getting sunburned i was get hurricane harbor going down all the slides. Do they have an annual pass? Yes. Did they then? And that's just what you had?

Yes. Okay. Yeah. And I actually was a total wuss until I was 13, 14. My best friend, Lauren Campbell, dragged me onto a ride. I was like, I wouldn't ride any roller coasters that had any loops. I wouldn't ride anything. I was like, the Runaway Mine Train, which is a really fun ride. I don't know if y'all have ever been to Six Flags Over Texas. I don't know. I know where we covered it yet. I was like the runaway mine train, which is a really fun ride. I don't know if y'all have ever been to Six Flags over Texas.

I don't know. I know where have we covered it yet. We'd like to. Yeah. Y'all should go. And then, cause you know, it's what I grew up on.

But, uh, and, but yeah, my parents were cheap and they never took me on vacation, you know, broken home, all that.

So by the time I was, when I moved to LA as a first time I went and I'm telling you, I felt like a child. The wonder in my eyes. I had never seen anything like Disney before. It was so beautiful. It's so thoughtful. The queue experiences, all the visuals.

Even the employees are nice. I mean, Six Flags employees are like horny teens, you know, trying to get through their damn day. For the most part. Right. And irate because they have to work. Exactly. And they would rather just be horny teens you know try to get through their damn day for the most part right and irate because they have to work uh and they would rather just be horny they would rather be doing the other half of their brain exactly summer jobs you know mom made him get out of the house um and i was just like this is amazing i stayed from the very beginning to the very end we rode every ride i mean it was amazing i went with two of my sorority sisters um but i have an interesting perspective uh to be here because i'm not the i'm not the biggest

enthusiast like y'all i have the perspective of being married to one of y'all like i am married to a theme park nut an enthusiast of the space okay okay so and like lifelong like lifelong and um there is no park unturned i mean we will detour 30 minutes an hour to get to park every trip we go on i have to negotiate how many theme parks we go on on the trips you know so i've kind of learned to appreciate it more through him i i've always been i like it but like when i listen to this show and by the way i am a listener podcast thank you shout out to steve brandano sure yeah hi steve yeah hi steve um we we maybe howard stern will come up who knows michael and i share that. Another weird niche fandom.

But, you know, I love experiencing the parks with my husband, you know, and like I've gotten more into it because of him. Sure. Sure. So, so, Will, do you like see his face on our faces when you're like, is it sound? Does it feel the same? Does it feel like obsessive? And it's just appreciative, you know? And that's another thing.

I guess, again, growing up, only going to Six Flags, which Six Flags has, I'd be like, oh my God, look, a dirty old Batmobile bleached from the sun. Whoa! I thought it was cool. But then you go to Disney and you're like, damn, the game is strong. I mean, it's on a whole other level.

You didn't know it could be that realistic your standards were lower you feel happy it truly is the happiest place and i took my father who had never been to disney as well a few years ago and i saw his face do the same thing i mean he was like i looked over him and it's a small world he had the biggest smile on his face uh you know it was amazing. It was like, it truly is magical. And I think because we all go all the time and we are childless people in our 30s, we kind of lose that nostalgia and that magic. But it really is a magical place.

Yeah, we agree. And it's a treat. It's a treat. Yeah, it's a privilege. It's a privilege to go. It's important to remember that, too. The worst thing is when you get into the perfunctory, you know, it's a privilege it's important to remember that too the worst thing is when you get into the perfunctory you know it's all about the it's all about the math and like okay well if we

cut through here we save five minutes and uh all right so we can get on this at 3 35 and like if you i think we've probably all had moments of that of like wait a minute are we forgetting to have fun that this is like a surgical although i will say almost every time i still am just like pure giddy happy like lost in it yeah there's always like one or two things i think at the end of the day you're like well that was great it becomes weird too because we're so obsessed that it literally could just be like going on a ride at night or something you're like wow we never did that before which i mean it gets to, we're playing in the margins here, actually. But there's still like your brain is still processing.

That lets you find a lot of new little magic wrinkles. Yes, for sure. Like, you know, we came out of Alice in Wonderland while the parade was going on. So we were right above the parade during the outside part. Yeah. Little tiny, like, sure, that changes it up. We've talked about how we rode, and I've during the outside part. Yeah. Little tiny like. Sure. That changes it up.

We've talked about how we rode. And I've done this once or twice before. We rode Big Thunder while the fireworks were going off. And it's like, whoa, I can't believe the fireworks are happening on the roller coaster. It hit this bend like perfectly. Almost the fireworks. They timed it for you. Yeah.

It almost went left to right, as did we. And it was so romantic for Mike and I yeah we were together we were alone wow that's so romantic and also you can get the ash in your eye at a high speed velocity as opposed to just standing

still and getting ash in your eye you get to take something home with you yeah it feels different with thrust yes you know what else adds to the magic As you age and also To kind of help Make the experience new again Is to get fucked up

Well sure I don't drink alcohol but I have overdosed on marijuana at Disneyland Several times To the fact that I was like We almost got a room at Grand California We have to get out of here oh you seem to like chill it was really really bad oh wow wow uh we've no we've we've talked about this a little bit like bad trips or whatever i've

never been high at disneyland i think i'm afraid i don't want to have like some bad oh wait i'm except for downtown disney i got too high in the rainforest cafe i think i mentioned a long time ago and it influenced my decision to not go to chapman university like i don't like anaheim i don't want to be here because of it unrelated because because i had a bad time at the rainforest cafe if you can imagine that impossible most most times have y'all ever done like i know people that go to disneyland on mushrooms and crazy shit like that. I've only had marijuana or done marijuana at Disney.

I would never do it. I can't handle it. This is not a puritanical thing. Just truly like, I'll lose my mind. I think. You're a stressed out weed person. I can't. I've tried. Maybe if I could try it once a year and then it just doesn't.

It's not going to happen, I don't think somebody and everyone is always like, you're not doing the right thing, bro. You don't know what you're doing. And it's like, I think I, I'm good. I think you have no desire to learn,

no desire to learn, I guess, but I, I would love to learn, but I, yeah, it makes it so much more fun. Really?

Okay. Oh my God. It makes it, you laugh. Everything looks awesome. I mean, I've had some of the best moments of my life probably. Do you remember any specific highlights or is it all kind of a blur? No, I got specifics, honey.

So when I went to Disney World for my first and only time in 2015, we were stopping there before we went to the Bahamas. And because again, every trip i go on we negotiate theme parks so i'd never been we did animal kingdom which we'll talk about but then we took um we drove to magic kingdom right the and you take that boat over so we pop some candies and we got fucked and you know i will talk about this i guess but i'm not like a big food drink enthusiast because i don't eat anything and i don't drink alcohol so like i don't care about food i only eat food to live uh so i don't fall over so but i you can there's

we'll talk about it maybe but i have some instagram accounts for vegan food at disney so i had this burger or like a veggie burger and i piled it's like you know a little salad bar kind of thing i piled so many damn pepperoncinis on this burger pepperoncinis lettuce i was eating it it was the best fucking thing i've ever eaten and it might have been garbage but i was like this is so good so then we went on we went on um we went on the Space Mountain. And the Space Mountain at Disney World is single writers in a line.

And rough. Yes. And bumpy. My husband is behind me and I hear him laughing so hard that he's crying and then I start crying laughing. But then I start thinking,

oh my God, my head's going to get lobbed off because it's in the dark and you get paranoid. And I'm like, I'm going to die. So I'm thinking oh my god my head's gonna get lobbed off because it's in the dark and for you get paranoid and I'm like I'm gonna die so I'm thinking I'm gonna die and I'm crying laughing it was such an intense amazing experience and I it was so fun so you loved it I mean I that's the thing if you if you OD it could get really bad and this was like borderline too much. The other really bad time was at Disneyland and Tortilla Joe's. And we, we always go to Tortilla Joe's.

We get fucked up. We go to Tortilla Joe's, we load up and then we like go into the park. We were fucking gone. We way overdosed. And that's my advice to everybody out there. Be careful with your dosage of marijuana. Be careful with your dosage. marijuana be careful with your dosage we

had drank this canna quench and i didn't know but drinking marijuana actually makes you metabolize it way fast very fast yeah and we made like arnold palmer's with like teas with this lemon canna quench i you know the like uh table side guac service? Of course. I wish I could interview the guy that did our guac because it felt like he was there for seven hours and we were losing our minds and Adam is my rock

and like he keeps me safe and I actually don't even know my way around Disney because he's a tour guide so I just like grab onto him. I don't know where I'm going because he keeps me safe. He was a mess

and I was like what's going to happen? Like this fucked up. We ended up leaving. We didn't even eat our food. Walking around park panicked didn't ride anything and i was like we gotta eat we gotta eat we gotta eat we gotta eat and i don't know if it's your body telling you to eat you know the munchies it's like does your body tell you to eat because food will metabolize the marijuana out that's a new theory that i got well fucked up in that moment

or is it something else but i was like eating those mickey pretzels mickey pretzels mickey pretzels popcorn popcorn because i'm vegan and there's not that you know don't whip don't whip pretzel pretzel i mean i couldn't stop eating i was like i gotta help i gotta stop this we were there for hours didn't write a damn thing whoa so they're just wandering just wandering huh it sounds like a nightmare yes it was a nightmare these bad ones don't seem worth the good ones the good ones you're describing sound very nice but you gotta be careful because i don't want it it's illegal you can't and i don't like breaking rules you cannot disney is straight like you're not supposed to have like like even if you're staying at the hotels like on disney property

they do not want marijuana despite it being laws yeah despite it being recreationally legal in california and if you were staying at the hotel, you can wheel in a case of beer. Right. That's fine. Which seems kind of silly, but... Of course. Yeah, but like...

I smoked out the Grand Californian one time. I forgot that. Whoa, really? Before the return of Captain EO. Look at you. We made a night. I stayed at the Grand Californian. Me and several other... Me and Aaron and our friends, Brian and Katie. I think just in theO. Look at you. We made a night. I stayed at the Grand Calf with me and several other

me and Erin and our friends Brian and Katie. I think just in the room and it reeked and it was... In a non-smoking room? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how much I love EO. That I'm willing to break hotel rules for it. But I didn't I, hmm, and now I don't remember

I must have been really light with it being afraid of a bad trip because i don't remember even uh any specific you just gotta be careful i never overdosed after that but because it's illegal i get fucked up prior to entering of course and i and i don't smoke smoke so i i have to use edibles and things. But after that, I learned the lesson to be way more moderate with it. Yeah. Also, be very careful with like, the security is so intense nowadays. Like they have caught people at the metal detectors. I've seen somebody on our Facebook put a photo of a guy that was dressed in disguise.

And he caught people with edibles. Yeah. And it's like a dad In like a Turkey leg T-shirt Like an oversized Mickey Yeah it was a plain clothes Yeah

I think the only I think maybe I've told On this On the show The only theme park That's ever happened Was that I had a friend In town

And my friend Loves To imbibe With the weed Chocolate So we He made me Take some And we went to The house of horrors At Universal Studios Oh hell yes With the weed chocolate So we He made me take some

And we went to the house of horrors At Universal Studios Oh hell yes And I had a headache after that Chucky attacked him with a knife And I lost my mind See I always get fucked up

Before I go to the haunted things Well I could see the drawer We had a couple Now I'm into haunts now And I had a couple beers before And I do think that seems fun because my my thing with Disney is just in the middle of the day to Carthay Manhattans. One and one is fine also. But if you do two, you're really that's good.

You're ready to go. That's the refresher. Then you're then the whole park is fresh and new again. That's what I'm saying. You know, alter that mind, baby. Yeah, so that's sort of, that's my version of it. Possibly getting like a beer over by the Chinese food place. You just like getting high on grenadine.

Yeah, well, that is true. I like the sugar, I like the cherry, I like the alcohol. If it was just a bottle Of alcohol Soaked cherries I think that would be Better for me Just eating the cherries Is that an off Is that an off menu item

At the Carthay Can I just get a bucket Of cherries A bucket of cherries But they've been Lightly soaked Yeah so there's a little Bit of alcohol

But it's mainly If you're with a Plaid tour guide If you're with a VIP tour guide They'll give you that Yeah that's true Yeah

Have y'all ever done those I got to old money bags has yeah i didn't pay for it how much is it do you know it's like 500 an hour or something it's something like that yeah it's not yeah it's it's everyone can get it too i didn't even realize that until a year or two ago yeah jason's qualification for being a money bags is knowing someone with money yeah right well mr knows a money bag hollywood hollywood hollywood carlton probably would have been the battery joke jason that would have been the jason's also like uh i maybe like he'll see me like in a different pair of pants like i have three pairs of pants and when we can be like, someone's doing well. I think Jason was like, you're a bit of a clothes horse, aren't you?

You are. You rotate your closet a lot. I know, but no one else has ever said that. I'm just saying, like, no one else has been like, huh, is that new? Like, maybe that's something. I know. You're adding that judgment in there. I am not. You are adding that judgment in there.

I was trying to pay you a compliment. You just did what the judge oh the judgment about the clothes horse yeah about the clothes okay so you judge me in different ways no that was an observation the clothes that was like a compliment the clothes horse was benign the other ones definitely had a definitely was judging oh yes you're very cavalier with money and i worry about you hey but that was being honest you know my i think i think my role on the podcast once maybe i view it sometimes as being something of a referee between mike and jason and here's what i'll say yeah uh that does that i do when you tell that i do sound hear the judgment and i feel like that judgment is familiar to me. However, I've also heard Mike tell stories in which judgment is added that was not there in my version of the original story.

So I think there could be fault on both sides here. That is my official referee call. I need a whistle for these in the future. That sounds like everyone wins not you're everyone wins i think yeah yes everyone is right and wrong very diplomatic yeah yeah i think so fuck both y'all that's my rule i guess yeah that's fine i'll take it equal fucks to go around so jackie were you like way into disney as a child just the movies and stuff as well yes definitely 90s kid i

mean little mermaid lion king aladdin that kind of sweet spot the music yes yeah and i had wanted to go to disney but again never got taken i mean in texas you're smack in the middle exactly and again we had six flags so i always wondered why or if disney ever thought about doing a texas outpost that seems like a good yeah it's in the middle i don't think it would split the audience of either california or whereas it weirdly they were trying to do the one in virginia which i think would cut into uh florida but like texas it feels like also there'd be some massive piece of property for sure perfect for disney texas cut cut a big old cattle ranch down or something you know save that shit over hey skedaddle i feel like we're else degrees yeah i

feel like we're not gonna get another like state what like park they're gonna do much more like there'll be like 10 more china Parks before we get like another One in america you mean from scratch Yes you think Start buying up unless we have you know There was the rumor that they're gonna buy knots I could see that Sort of thing occurring they become a

Westfield of would there Be like a shuttle like Underground between the two or something Well they were talking about a monorail when they were 10 years ago, 15 years ago. 20 years ago, I think. 20 years ago. Yeah. How cute was that monorail in Japan?

Oh, yeah. Very cute. Oh, you've done Japan then. So like everybody in 2018, I went to Tokyo. This is the Japan time in everyone's lives. What is that? Yeah in everyone's lives what is that what's happening somebody went

and then everyone was like oh I should do that I don't know literally every mother fucker in LA went to Japan

everyone dozens of people if I throw hey any recommendations there's like the like three page dense dense

tome email I feel like I have this from 12 people. There's a lot of emails. Which is great. I'm so excited. This is all wonderful. But yeah, it is.

What's in the water? Why are we all? I don't know. What are we after? I feel like it hit critical mass in the last couple of years. I do feel like maybe my parents or other people, like a certain generation, it's still kind of like Japan is kind of a strange place to go. Right.

But really, Japan has been here all really japan has been here all along mario has been here all along you know like there's so many different things that like are part of our culture and then anime and all that's like everything makes sense to doc brown in 1955 but in 85 he knows the japanese make all the best stuff so like i feel like we finally like as a culture been like oh yeah there's a bunch of cool crap there and then you go there and it's like this is very familiar this is like very similar tony baxter was talking about how like the culture there is very similar to american culture when they build a disney there like cute is a thing that resonates with the with the people

there as opposed to france where they shun cute when you get past five years old or something so it's like we went there and we've been listening to i've especially i've been digging deep with japanese city pop lately and like japanese rock and roll you're like this is just a parallel universe where it's the exact same sound as our pop music so it's like awesome because you're like this sounds like a neil young record that never came out but it's japanese people and they're singing in Japan or Japanese. Overwhelming that it's like an entire, you mean I'm not even done with cool pop culture, especially of 70s, 80s, 90s.

So how do you even begin? I don't understand. So yeah. And then with Japan, of course, the added thing of like, there's a Disneyland there and then it's like the best one. Really good Disneyland. Yeah. And also like.

What'd you think? How was your time? It was good. I know you haven't been and I know you don. Really good Disneyland. Yeah, yeah. And also like, what'd you think? How was your time? It was good. I know you haven't been, and I know you don't want to know. Oh, sure. I thoroughly enjoyed the podcast to ride on it. I was, I texted Mike. I was like driving and just, and just nodding my head being like, yep, yep, yep.

It was really cool. We did not go as extensively as they did, you know, like going to the damn anti-skunks cafe and sitting for two hours we didn't do that you know uh we were we only had two days and we really like hustled and and that's we had we got an amazing flight um for people that are curious about going to japan black friday singapore air we had round trip tickets on Singapore Air, which is a luxury airline for $300. Wow, that's crazy. The catch is, it was only for a week.

So we made that trip count. I mean, we, because I also went up to see the Snow Monkeys up in the Alps of Japan. Oh, right, right. And that took two days, and then we did a real con up there. It was awesome. And then we had to, of course, because I'm married to Adam McCabe, two days at Disney, negotiated, and I was in that trip. mccabe two days at disney negotiated and i was comfortable with the non-theme park things on the agenda yes

but you know we only did two days we did one day at disney and one day at tokyo disney sea well how'd that go was it hellish so explain to me scott scott scott please lay it on thicker please i don't think. I know this is a constant thing of like, how many days do you spend there? And I remember when I think Adam was talking to you, Mike, and he said, you only need two days. And you were like, what? We're doing four, you know?

But again, we don't sit at Mama Skunk's Cafe. Like, we don't go in every goddamn bathroom. We don't look at everything. Is that right? Mama Skunk's Cafe? What's her name? Her name, I believe, is Grandma Sarah. Grandma Sarah. name? Her name I believe was Grandma Sarah Grandma Sarah

She was not a skunk She was like a bad Possum Well y'all know what I meant damn it I didn't know It was awesome I think Tokyo DisneySea is my favorite Disney park now

But Animal Kingdom second. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. Do you want to start getting into it? I mean, we can also, we can tangent forever. I also just want to say that y'all have to go to Efteling.

Okay. So none of y'all have been? None of us. Jason, you haven't been? No, I've never been to Europe. Y'all got to fucking go, man. Is there a deal? Is there a Black Friday deal that you know of?

I don't know. You just, because you fly into Amsterdam. Oh, what is that one? Norwegian Air. Have y'all flown on Norwegian Air? No. Norwegian Air is the spirit airlines of Europe, but not that bad. Right.

It was actually really nice. It's no frills, but you can get cheap flights i mean like 250 dollars to europe from la like you can get cheap flights they do black friday but they have sales all the time get on their email list i'm gonna run that we're gonna i want to do a europe trip soon i'm gonna run it by my business manager over here okay on the couch and i'm gonna see if i can afford it in the next couple years pointing at the stack of chase visa cards on the couch next to me i'm just on credit cards uh yeah it's next to a loan for he was crushed by all his credit cards all 250 choked him be a fine way to go see that's what i thought why so many people are going to la because or going to japan

because from la it's usually uh less expensive to fly to asia as opposed to flying to europe but interesting you can get cheap flights yeah there's a couple twitter accounts that like just have constant like sales and stuff so yeah yeah norwegian air and get singapore air black friday if you want to go and they have they have we almost got these cheap flights to bali really because i was like we got to plan a trip for 2019 where are we going to go adam wants to go to switzerland um i was trying to do like uh norwegian air and it wasn't really working to get out there but i was like it was so cheap to go to Bali and I was like oh we should do this

but I hadn't done research I love planning I love a good itinerary I love a good plan what did you tie Efteling into with your negotiation theme park on our honeymoon so for our honeymoon we did London Paris Amsterdam

and Efteling is if people don't know it's older than disneyland and by a few years and the rumor is that walt went there saw it and said oh i got to do this in america and kind of ripped it off that i just saw the weekend this weekend that was debunked oh interesting there's no record that that he was there but i have heard that yeah i don't know you're right right. I just read it. No trip log in his lifetime. I mean, they saved everything else, so it wouldn't surprise me if there was, but it doesn't seem like it.

Interesting. That guy who on Instagram stories who works for Disney, who's always answering questions, said he had never come across that. Huh. Unless he's just covering for his favorite Rick Moss artist. He could be covering for the narrative.

No, it's for the bench that we bought. It was Griffith Park. It was Griffith Park. That's the tale. It would be funny if the historian that finds the Walt notes from Efteling and the pictures of him there and like thinking, and he's like,

I must burn this. The mother world. I feel like I read that they also like helped Walt. Oh man. Some of the planners or ride people were involved in Disney, but I don't know. Well, and what I've learned now is that this place, uh,

Garner Holt's animatronics, uh, which is responsible for like all these great animatronics and knots and also what do they do in disney they did the jack skellington and the new dragon and phantasmic the monsters in tokyo right um oh i think so and um what's the other one a mystic manor do they do and they've done a lot of they've they've done a ton of animatronics for uh efteling as well so if you if you feel disney vibes there now it could be the the garner holt thing yeah um so they and that made me want to go really bad i didn't know i feel like i'd heard it presented or i was like

is this some like preserved in amber weird park from the past and hearing that they have cutting edge stuff it's both it is very much i mean you're literally in egg forest in the middle of the netherlands i went in the fall it was so gorgeous i mean it's not like disney where you're in like a suburban area and there's homes and you're turning in i mean the ride to get to efteling is probably the craziest ride of that you'll go on there i mean because you take this crazy bus from a subway stop out of amsterdam and it was nuts and everyone warned me but i don't want to ruin it if you've been efteling and you got there from from amsterdam you know it's just the bus driver and it was full

of people like dutch people on their way to work and living their lives and we're two childless 30 year olds from fucking america with our, you know, schlepping it there. But it's crazy. But it's a beautiful park and it's fantasy fairy tale and you're immersed so deeply because no one's speaking English around you and nothing is in English.

And it has really cool, fun, cutting-edge rides, but it also has like classic old wooden creatures and and the lighting is beautiful and once again amsterdam i was fucked up but but not that much because the weed in amsterdam didn't work on me because i'm a california stoner i'm not really i don't really even smoke that much you needed the corn syrup you needed that american corn syrup additive for the gmo yeah monsanto shit yeah um do they sell weed at efteling no no no no no okay yeah and and i like i said we didn't smoke it i don't think you're allowed and i'm obviously not going to break laws internationally either so i had like a

an edible cookie or something um and it was okay it was really light it was nice i would have liked to up it a little bit, but it helps. It helps enhance the experience. That seems like a place to do it also. Talk to any of the Boom Chicago people. Any of our friends at Boom Chicago is a comedy show in the Netherlands or in Amsterdam that a lot of friends of ours from the Upper Citizens Brigade go over and perform at. They go on acid.

They go on everything. And the stories are insane i don't want to name names in case anybody's embarrassed but we have friends that have gone to efteling like fully fucked up on like crazy drugs do you okay i'm not asking you to name uh names certainly not but i'm here's what i'm curious about can you can you name something in efteling that you think would be particularly frightening uh while on acid or something or something that factors into one of their stories there are some the dutch are a wild bunch i mean there's like spooky stuff at efteling there's a lot of like weird moody rides there's a ride called oh what is it oh it was this one ride that everyone told us to go on it's sort of like a

madhouse okay and i don't want to ruin anything but that would probably be a pretty weird experience there are some like ghosty things kind of um haunted mansion-esque things uh and crazy rides like roller coasters and thrilling things okay the flyingman, honey. Do y'all know anything about Efteling? No. I'm not in any spoiler territory. Yes. But I'd like to go someday. But what's up with Flying Dutchman?

It's a water, it's like a haunted, a haunted pirate ship water ride. Ooh. Wow. All right. And they do crazy, I mean, y'all gotta go.

If you're a theme park head and you're looking for a trip y'all gotta go to efteling uh now really cool so so let me for just the very boring practical nature of it so how do you get there because i have heard it's it's far away so but you can take this magical bus from amsterdam i'm not gonna lie to y'all it was a little stressful to get there and i had been warned that it was and i had emails detailed from from again friends of ours who did boom chicago like okay you turn left you're gonna see a green light go three steps forward i mean i had really detailed emails i remember we were leaving our hotel in amsterdam and our fucking internet and our phones just stopped working and it's one of those

things where it's like you don't expect that to happen so we were totally boned so we missed a train missed a train it like screwed us up finally our phones start working we get on the train because google maps is really helpful um in japan i mean we did y'all get a portable wi-fi no mine was just my i have the plan that it's fine. I got a portable Wi-Fi ahead of time. And so you basically have Wi-Fi all the time, no matter where you are. If you're underground, up in the mountains, up with the snow monkeys, wherever you are. It was really helpful. My phone was 100% connected all the time.

Wow. Google Maps, you type in, I'm going here. It'll go, okay, turn left, get on this train. You're going to take it three stops. You're going to get off here. It's a must for like, you know, dumb Americans. Okay. Good to know.

So I, and everyone's, again, we're privileged. So, everyone does speak English pretty much. That was true in Tokyo and in the Netherlands. But you get off a train and then you walk down and you go up and you say, I want to go to Efteling. And they'll go, okay, you get on this bus. And you do. But, you know, if you miss them, you have to wait. And then if you can't but you know if you miss them you have to wait and

then if you can't find the stop and you miss it and blah blah and then they drop you off at a certain location and it might not be we were staying at the hotel at efteling and we had missed that stop so then we had to carry our luggage through the entire park and it's double the size of disneyland and so and then we're like schlepping luggage through the park you know and then we had to go back to the front to start over. Like my feet were so sore that day. Like you were you walk a lot. Yikes.

Yikes. But yeah. Well, I think we were talking about topics with you and I think Efteling was it was an option. And we were like, I don't think we can do it justice until we go. You have to go. Yeah. And thus we landed on Animal Kingdom. Yes.

Which we've covered we were talking we just recently talked about expedition everest and realized we have no how have we not done an animal kingdom uh ride of any kind right and uh and here you bring this up this is a good chance to talk about the the the part place overall and the broad strokes of it why animal kingdom what's the animal kingdom okay so i am an animal nut uh-huh and i don't get i don't get many interactions with and wild animals because i don't believe in a lot of them morally oh sure i don't like zoos for the most part i don't like interactive animal like the fucking porcupine cafes and shit i'm like no let those porcupines go it's not okay you're okay with grandma sarah's

uh cafe what's it called anti-skunkies actually after listening to y'all's episode i watched a youtube on it and it does look really cool in there it's very cute yeah which park where's that it's in disneyland it's next it's a splash mountain restaurant essentially oh neat okay and uh fun fact about opossums i learned recently they look scary but they are unlikely to have rabies because their blood temperature is too low good to know i saw an opossum last night going down my street yeah you could have kissed it could have kissed it they might fuck you up but you won't get to get rabies shot you could have drank its blood yeah yeah sure could have so i don't believe

in most uh animal interactivity things uh although i will say i did go to the snow monkeys in japan if you have time it's amazing really really um and then i did go see the swimming pigs in the bahamas and it was the best moment of my whole life i sobbed when i saw them it was like a big moment i did we got engaged right before that but it was like beautiful and but i got red to filth over it because vegans love to come for each other so i my my wedding was written up in a vegan magazine and and i got like i can't believe you did that you know and then i was just like oh you it's like there's so many levels to people's beliefs and things. And part of me was like, oh, shit.

Should I even talk about animal kingdom? Because there's animals and they're captive. Oh, no. You think shit's going to people. No. Your degree of followers. Because listen, here's where I'm at now with it. Okay.

Our animals, especially the animals in Africa, are being hunted and killed. Most of them are on endangered species list disney treats them well i've done tons of research which we'll talk about when we get to the they treat them well they're breeding there they're keeping them safe is it is there you know an aspect to it of like people driving cars past these animals sure but at this point i'd rather these animals be safe and alive and healthy and monitored than being free and shot and killed you know right yeah sure may have saved the white rhino population so you know it is what it is i think i don't go to zoos typically because like animals on like big fake fiberglass rocks make me sad but they brought in so many species of plants it's all real grass you know we'll talk about it when we get to that

part but sure sure i'm gonna give it a pass and if you want to if you want to come for me go ahead but you heard it you heard her vegan army bring. Could you imagine, this is what you get cancelled for, Jackie, going on a theme park podcast. Our first guest got cancelled. I would be honored to be the first cancelled guest. We'll see how far I go. Well, if Bugsy didn't get cancelled, you're probably fine. Well, he's dead. He's a skeleton.

He was cancelled by being alive. Yeah, that's dead. He's a skeleton. He was canceled by being alive. Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. I was like in thinking about this park as a whole. I remember that it was I think people like PETA was upset when it opened and there was that general concern. Like you'll see it on a list. You'll see Animal Kingdom on lists of controversial things Disney has done to have animals in captivity but if you unless they're doing a good job covering it up or something it's not like there are tons of stories of

awful things happening to animals I do think that they are kept up well from my mildest of research it seems like you've done more potentially so that's good I wanted to make sure again like I won't do dolphin swimmings it's I think it's so wrong uh dolphin sonar goes off

like crazy they shouldn't be in confined areas like i think it's torture for them if you go on vacation in your hotels like let's rank dolphins i'm sure i would literally weep with joy i mean imagine how amazing it would be with that poor animal you know i have a lot of issues with things i don't even think dog breeding should be legal. I think it's fucked up to make dogs have babies and then sell them. I think that's fucked, you know? Yeah.

But did I go on Disney's Safari? Yes. It was an amazing yes, okay? You know what? This is what it is, okay? Do your research. The Kilimanjaro Safari is what you're talking about. Yes.

Which I hadn't been on it in years and then we went on a couple years ago and i was like are they allowed to get this close to us like i was i mean isn't it crazy it's crazy it truly is like a real african safari but in florida yes yeah and i've always wanted to do a safari but they're so expensive how much are they i mean tens of thousands of dollars okay and again you have to be safe there's a lot going on in certain territories and things i'm sure you could probably get a cheaper one but because i used to be a dog walker we kind of talked about this when i got here i had a client who's like very wealthy and they went on one and it looked

like just the most amazing like but it was how much who knows you know yeah for some comfort i'd imagine you're paying a lot of money and you're popping those pills you're worried about malaria there's a lot going on yeah no malaria in florida babe orlando's fine it's so safe yeah which does just the brain eating parasites and sinkholes there's stuff to worry about yes the sink there's a spot by the magic kingdom where they can't build a hotel because they kept sending beams down to test and the beams wouldn't come back. Now we're going to get spit up like in the middle of Epcot one day.

The beams! The beams! Shooting through the air. A beam Kano. Yeah, so it's a, yeah, a safe way to see animal and it does well so so on the safari thing this is pretty like animal kingdom basics i guess but if if you're listening and you're not a super nerd the whole thing about this ride you see this wide variety of animals and they get very close to you and you're like how are they could they just lunge uh but there are there are natural barricades set up they designed this area so that

this moat is here or this little like stopping mechanism is on the ground but the guests can't see it so actually you are safe at all times but in a way that is not cage oriented and it's this is something disney has pioneered and that i think other i'm not totally sure i think other like zoos or nature parks have started to do it right just like like yeah huge leap forward in this industry uh to actually plan things in a smart way and not just like yeah it's a bunch of fences that'll electrocute them if they touch it there was also concern like how would they especially for the safaris get the animals to come towards the people and like they figured out tricks like well if you put the tree that has the giraffe's favorite kind of leaf on it that is like candy to

them and you put that on a lazy susan and you rotate it towards like where the path is they will come towards the uh the tree and the guests it's really they've really thought a lot about that because how do you remember when you were little and you went to the zoo and like you'd be like oh that's supposed to be a hippo but you couldn't see shit yeah it's like they thought about all that there's like hidden food troughs hidden water things that will make them come closer and it's crazy how close they come yeah they get very close the only thing that's bad i feel like is they say don't like yell at the animal and everyone does yeah right both times i've been on it it's like don't i feel like i forget if it's yell it's not taking pictures because i don't think that would bother but it's like don't call them to the car

and then it's like a certain point to like lower your voice and not say anything and stuff like that but then there's like a giant heavy vehicle you know going through well you had like one of the person because there's also about this thing the kilimanjaro safari it's the most impressive job like to do it i'm so blown away by the people who do it who have to do the announcing like it's like the jungle cruise but they're driving a real car through rough terrain right which i just learned is like a like a giant flatbed truck it's insane modified so it's like a it's a difficult vehicle to operate and they're telling they're they're telling you the plot and everything too they're telling you everything they're asking questions they're like putting the car in different gears they're waiting

for other cars because maybe there's an animal on the track essentially and they have to wait they're doing so much and it's seamless yeah and you're like whoa what a skill you have i wonder what training was involved i mean how long they had to train to get that job it has to be the most impressive of all like the ride operator jobs and when the ride first opened there was like a storyline that there were poachers which makes a lot less sense yeah that you were like you had to chase the put you were like we got to stop these poachers oh now see i've only i did it with that overlay and i don't think i knew it's not there i think that element of it is gone i might like it more now

because i found that unpleasant And literally all I can remember about it are terrible tinny sound effects in that jeep Of like poachers like coming in on the radio Am I remembering this correctly? Like they catch the signal and like Yeah there's some crackly We're gonna get them Watch out tigers

I think you also are likely to see more animals now, especially because like that park is open later. Now, that was a big thing. Like noise is a big concern with all these animals. Animal Kingdom used to close much earlier than the other parks. Once they got the Pandora World of Avatar in there, though, I think they realized like, well, we need to keep this park open a little later. For the bioluminescence.

For the bioluminescence. And then they added the Rivers of Light nighttime show. And then they started experimenting with, like, later in the evening safaris with some lighting. And, like, you know, you get more nocturnal animals out or animals who sleep at the hottest points of the day come out. So, yeah, the park's open. I checked. It was like yesterday or today. It was open till eight.

And like every other park was also open till eight. Okay. Yeah. Also, like fireworks. They started doing fireworks in the recent past and people were concerned about, is that a problem? Fireworks near the, but apparently they're separate. They do them in Animal Kingdom?

I guess so. No. No No I don't I don't like that I think they did like a new They got in some They got checked on Because there was a New Year's Eve Fireworks

Oh okay But like the Rivers of Light Nighttime show Yeah that doesn't have fireworks Has like no fireworks They don't have a regular fireworks thing But they have a show In front now of the Tree of Life

I'm fucking done with fireworks I don't think so Really? I don't have any fireworks I'm fucking done with them Wow That's been my take We had to say controversial opinions a while ago once you've seen one you've seen them all they're loud they're polluting they really stress dogs out

i mean if anyone's a dog owner and you know a busy area during fourth of july is a fucking nightmare that's you know let's can we stop with the fucking fireworks or do them like once a damn week or something i don't know there's it's more of a concern for the local area you think i just think they're dumb i think they're overrated and i think they're very polluting and loud and they stress things out they stress out animals i think that will i think there'll be a time when they're replaced by drones that's what it feels like it's gonna happen well there's sparkly drones like 150 drones that shoot up into the sky and make like design like whatever i mean they're totally like tested it and stuff i'm down for that whatever like cool thing design they would make in the sky would be now drones but you can't float them over people's heads right now it's a

problem oh i see there's speculation and for anaheim we're going to at least for a little while see less and less fireworks and more and more drones or projection kind of stuff as they claim backstage buildings for expansion oh because they used to fire them off from back there but now they'd land on now ashes would land they used to fire off like a office building or a parking garage and like cast members could like go into their parking garage and be like really close and watch jesus i i hate to be such an aggro dude about this but i love when i love when the fire shoots up either in world of color or in the one of the old disneyland shows and it it's usually accompanied by the Star Wars theme. And they just shoot flames into the sky.

And I'm like, this is awesome. Yeah, it is pretty cool. I was going to say, if we are heading to a less firework-centric time, while he's still on this earth, let's allow McCartney to still do it during Live and Let Die. We all agree on that. Well, bless his heart, we don't have much more Paul McCartney touring, most likely. Just pure math.

I think he's going to go for longer than anybody thinks. Same, but I'm here for that. So this is actually a perfect segue. Last night, because Scott and I went to see Ringo Starr a couple of years ago. I was there. I was very high. I was very high yeah i was very high i was crying laughing y'all were so funny i just still remember it was such a beautiful night

y'all were wearing your little hawaii shirts you know margaritaville all that i was laughing my ass off at ringo No, them two. It's Scott and Mike. Y'all were wearing Hawaiian shirts at Ringo. No, you were in my mind, okay? Don't ruin this for me. Don't you think, Scott, you were in some kind of Hawaiian shirt? Very possibly. I have a photo somewhere. I'll pull it out. I was probably, you know,

yeah, hey, I was probably something sort of like 60s psychedelic-y or something. It was really fun. So I looked last night and I was like, are there any instances of Beatles at Disneyland, specifically Ringo? We have a rare case of visual aids on the television and the blog. I found a blog.

We'll post this. Of all Beatles and Disney-related photos. Oh, wow. Hey, good for them. What's the blog? DisneyBeatles.tumblr.com Wow. And there's some, nothing amazing,

but some pretty cool. So here's John. Well, John wore a Mickey Mouse shirt pretty classically. And John also dissolved the Beatles officially at Walt Disney World. At the Polynesian. He signed the papers saying Christmas over. I didn't know that. At the Polynesian He signed the papers Saying Christmas

Over I didn't know that At the Poly Yeah Well wait Now I heard the other rumor That the papers were delivered But there was a problem

So it was signed In another location In Florida Oh not at Disney World Yeah not at Disney World But he was at the Polynesian But there's a picture One or two pictures go around

It's like here he is At the Polynesian And it's a different Florida and thus the paper I don't know why I'm Debunking everything today like I don't actually Jason Roons I spent like half a day

I gotta grow my Hair out I'm gonna do that Yeah I spent like half a day reading About the contemporary There yeah oh the contemporary behind john lennon uh there's a couple like john is a disneyland uh here with a monorail driver 1974 it's really funny that john lennon went to disney world and almost he's at disneyland too in these photos too so like he must have kind of liked it john stayed at the the Polynesian. Here is Paul, 2009. On the Autopia?

Yeah, on the Autopia with his young daughter. Wow, cool. Do we know for sure that's Paul McCartney? Yeah, look at the mouth. Do you think he was singing his famous song, Red Rose Speedway? Yeah. And not the better car-related song he's written? Certainly not, baby.

You can drive my car no we all think of red rose speedway now look at this this is ringo star in new orleans square with a plaid i mean is there a greater photo than this he's dad now hard yeah real big hat and they have like ringo and his children walk around disneyland the mid-1970s with their plaid linda allen the plaid is named plaids have names look at that wow uh this i don't know uh linda was lovely you can't see anything oh that's them in the costumes like the i'm the walrusy shit they're saying that's the beatles in those outfits but who knows then there's muppets and that's cool but that's not what they should not have this on here. Sean Lennon just has a Disney shirt on.

That's cute. I love the idea because I love like niche tumblers. Like celebrities in Disney shirts. I think that's a fun tumbler. Yeah, yeah. Look at Ringo eating a popsicle or an ice cream at Disneyland. That combines all of our interests. It really does. It sure does.

That photo is the nexus of Scott Michael Jason. There's not too much more on here. You went right past Winnie the Pooh recreating Abbey Road. Yeah, but that doesn't do much for me.

You're looking for authentic people content. How about this? Paul in a grandma Mickey sweatshirt with some sort of chalice. Wow. Yes.

I think probably we all have grandmas who wore things similar to that yeah the collar is the grandma thing especially about it and this is from like 80 i think it says 80s do y'all ever go to those disney after dark special nights or whatever i'm going to 90s night next month and i'm so excited you'll have to report back speaking of um celebrities in mickey clothes i got this sick mickey sweatshirt at a thrift store

and when I was buying it, the woman goes, you know who used to wear this sweatshirt? Not the same exact one, maybe, but Princess Diana. There's a photo of Princess Diana. If you Google Princess Diana Mickey sweatshirt, she's in this white sweatshirt and I have the same one and I'm wearing it. Disney's 99, baby.

That's great. Throwback to the reign of Princess Diana. That's right. So there's Paul with little Feruza Balk on the set of Return to Oz. Whoa, cool. Paul's on the set of Return to Oz.

I don't know what the hell that's all about. Strange. Yeah. And we all know Paul was on the set of Pirates 4. There it is. There's the people's princess. If you Google Princess Diana Mickey, the picture comes up. No kidding. Right here. Cool.

She has, I think that's Harry on her back and he's wearing a Mickey sweatshirt as well. Do we think that's at a park? No, maybe not. I don't think this is, but there are photos of her at Disney World also. Wow. Here, we'll throw this to the audience, too. If you know, send us your favorite photos of your favorite or least favorite stars

wearing Disney sweaters. What's that? I'm into sweaters almost more than anything. Have you seen celebrities at Disney with their guides? Here and there. Do you ever find out that you were there the same day?

I saw Mark Hoppus was there the same day as me and i was like oh man i didn't say hi because you went to blink in vegas right yeah yeah you're like a blink diehard yeah i'm going again and they're doing like this back to the beach fest or something in huntington beach in april may i'm going again i gotta get my blink fix you know what's my favorite i forget if i've said this on the podcast before that the uh i i have a hazy memory of that i may have as a child been going been in line for the teacups and that into the booth where the announcements are made on the teacups i think maybe tim allen got on and made the teacup announcement because i think it ended i think it was it was kind of confusing what was going on

but i think it's possible that he an announcement was made and then he did and the people in line went oh but maybe i just didn't understand what the hell was going on yeah yeah if anyone can vouch for tim allen Allen's whereabouts throughout the 90s, they would have probably had to pay him for that. You know what I mean? If I were him, I wouldn't give them my voice for free. Oh,

I mean, Disney's paid him quite a bit of money. Yeah. But maybe he's, I don't know. Maybe he was in a good mood on a vacation. Maybe he was tripping and feeling like giving it out for free. Don't you think there's so many celebrity voices at Disneyland?

Like the monorail. Isn't that Billy West? Is that Billy West? No. I don't think so. Is somebody doing a Billy West impression then? It's a similar. I hear what you're saying.

I know. Yeah. It's similar. But then they have like some of those people. Like Neil Patrick Harris does one, right? Well, he's gone now. He was the credit coaster. Credit coaster. Got it. Uh- credit coaster so he's been replaced but yeah

there's like little things a lot of those people don't get any much money for it because like people in the video like patrick warburton is in two different rides he's on soaring and he's on star tours is he on the third one am i through my misremembering i don't believe so okay um yeah so like there's yeah there are like a lot of things i I didn't realize it was Neil Patrick Harris until I think a year ago or something. He was like five, four, three, two, one. He probably just did that on his damn iPhone in his bathroom and got a million dollars. Possibly. Possibly.

The final picture though, real quick is Julian Lennon, which is the greatest photo. With Space Mickey. Space Epcot Mickey at Epcot Center with Spaceship Earth in the back. Wow. Looking just like his father. Yeah, I mean, I probably wouldn't have even known that wasn't him if you had to say. So we'll post a link to this. Follow along with this Tumblr.

Before it gets taken down for whatever Tumblr's rules that take down everything now. Disney sues him and every beetle widow sues them. Yeah. It's sued into the ground. Yeah yeah um animal kingdom let's get back on track uh kilimanjaro safaris we talked about the uh um which by the way i didn't know this fact that the that that ride is bigger than the magic kingdom the square foot like oh i didn't know oh wow there's like two miles the largest attraction in any disney theme park whoa wow no kidding yeah and there's a cool video of like what you were saying mike of the the cars getting stopped and where is all of them and it's all along a track and there's little like light up dots and somebody's you know nervously monitoring at a

computer and seeing where the jeeps are and it is exactly jurassic park it is so excitingly a samuel jackson uh scenario so you get if you want to be a real life what's his name we i know nedry but what's uh sam jason i can never remember his name uh if you want to be a hold on to your butts man get that job be the jeep monitor at uh kilimanjaro safaris um but uh yeah i why oh this ride another go because i did it in this unpleasant poacher era in which there was a fake dead elephant yeah isn't that upsetting i think that's gotta be gone it's upsetting but at the same time this is the reality and people need to know sure and i'm like a dark kind of, cause they brought that up on mine. At one point they were like,

this is the white rhino. They're almost extinct, you know? And, and it, and then they even said, which it pissed me off so bad. There were elephants in there talking about the African elephants and they're

in dangerous. And they were like, if you really want to help the elephants recycle your electronics. And I was like, if you really want to help the animals, don't eat them. I mean, that's all there is to it.

The more our society normalizes animal cruelty, the more people are going to hunt them, eat them, kill them, and, you know, mistreat them. And that's just the bottom line. And that's, like, my angry veganism. I hate that you get off this ride where you're, like, literally looking at these beautiful animals. And you're like, have your turkey leg. Have your fucking burger. You have flame animals look at the animals eat the animals this one's okay this one isn't i hate it reading about the restaurants i'm like for a park called animal kingdom all the best reviews restaurants are barbecue locations

once you see that and you're like yeah this is fucked up you like can't unsee it as a person and that's just another hypocrisy of our society sure so while you like this park it is a park of hypocrisy well they all are i mean there's no such thing as a is a vegan park there's no they do have more options of food uh you know freaking california adventure is like vegan out yeah you can eat vegan good food there not just like fries which oh my god tokyo japan i'm starving my ass off my wife's in trouble my vegetarian not vegan but she's in trouble yeah i starved through japan any any advice anything we wouldn't know i mean i have lots of i did a whole map i did again the google maps i can

send it to y'all sure um but did you were you like we're just thinking granola bars let's just load up but you're used to it you know uh i'm used to it like i said food isn't a big part of the tourist experience for me unfortunately it's just how it is but um it's really difficult we're we're very privileged in la i i forget like that and then I go somewhere else and I'm like, oh, I don't have rice. Oh, the rice has been, you know, beef stock. Cool. I will eat this pickle. I'll eat a pickle and die. It's boiled in beef

brine. I mean, it is. Depending on where you are, it's really hard. There was maybe vegetable curry in Tokyo. There was. It's vegetarian, though. Oh, boy. So vegans, I see. Pass. That's how you do it. was yeah it's vegetarian though well it's actually so vegans pass that's how yeah it's hard and then i mean that's a whole other story i we went to when i went to see the snow monkeys in japan uh we were staying in a ryokan which is like the traditional japanese hotel which

if you have time to leave tokyo and go to a ryokan it's so cool yeah it's worth the trip you don't even have to go that far out but it's really cool And I had written ahead and told them I don't eat meat. And they were like, but I guess to them, fish isn't meat. Oh no. And they started serving me the most fishy fish of all the fish. You know what I mean?

Like, like a little whole fish on a plate with his eyeballs looking at me. They served me a bowl of little tiny squids and i don't know if they were raw or if they were boiled but like adam my husband popped one into his mouth and i saw him like chewing it and i was like how is it and he was like very fishy and i just moved stuff around my plate and then i felt terrible because it's a part of the culture to like not be disrespectful and be like i'm not eating that you know it was just i was very hungry it was really not fun i don't know i also think i'm gonna have two meals every meal as i am given what my wife cannot eat so i'm gonna try to get the weight

down does erin eat fish no oh okay yeah but she's gonna look the other way on stocks stocks are gonna be tough she's just gonna you know what i don't know what i don't know i look the other way on stocks. Stocks are going to be tough. She's just going to, you know what? I don't know what, I don't know what. I'm the same way because part of me was like, I'm in a different culture. I don't want, I want to, I want to try things, you know, whatever. So I definitely had fish in Japan. I had, you know what I mean? It's in every stock, it's in everything. I did my best to ask about things, you know, it'd be so crazy.

I'd be like, is there anything in this rice? And they'd go ask and they go, there's pork, there's beef and there's chicken in it. And I'm like, cool, cool, cool. They put pork in everything. You know,

and fish. They put fish in everything. It was like on The Simpsons when he's like, is anything without meat possibly the meatloaf? Right. Or when they go to

the all you can eat seafood place and Marge goes, is there anything without fish in it? And she goes, I'll just have the Tic Tacs in my purse. And he goes,

excellent choice. You know, that's how I felt. I was just like, well, it's fine. I'll just have the tic tacs in my purse and he was excellent choice you know it's like that's how i felt i was just like well it's fine i'll see the tic tacs that's all real oh boy good luck yeah it's hard can i can i just run on the topic of uh of animals in general and like a disconnect of what's an animal and what's not i've watched well several several specials did this but especially one uh there's a in preparation for this episode i watched some michael eisner uh intros and stuff which you know i'm always a classic hello always does me good um but there's a really good one his intro to an animal kingdom special that drew carrie ends up taking the reins and yeah posting uh but uh mike michael kicks it off hello and then he talks about uh he he said he says how

disney's connection to animals has been part of the company for over 75 years and then it cuts to mickey mouse and i'm like like a drawing like yeah yeah like a scratchy drawing yeah and then it cuts to mickey mouse and i'm like like a drawing like yeah yeah like a scratchy drawing yeah and then steamboat willie and i saw other things that said you know and with animal kingdom disney's love affair for animals continues because as walt said it all began with a mouse and i guess mickey is a mouse but isn't it in the safari park, don't you feel a disconnect with that Mickey Mouse is an animal? If you had to describe him in ten words, I don't think animal

would be one of the words. He's a cartoon. He's one of us, but he has big ears. He's a person with big ears. Disney did all those nature documentaries that baby boomers would have grown up watching on TV. And like the people who would be paying for a trip to this park would probably fondly remember.

Yes, that would be the connection to Disney and animals. To me, it's weird to go. It's Michael Eisner in an African village shopping and people are in tribal wear and there's dung dung dung and then they're telling me that well i don't know if you knew this but disney likes animals and then it cuts to a 1920s mouse on a steamboat there's just an aesthetic disconnect here specifically i believe because i watched that special too and this is what i'm gonna say that special is rough we like these specials they're yeah this one's really really hard a lot of public domain kind of like music like comedy music like comedy music yeah not i i there's some

very good music in it too like lady smith black mabazo uh lebo m from the uh uh sings the song from the opening of the lion king uh movie and musical um but then there's like this like slapsticky music and like some really very odd like guests show up paul rodriguez and jane seymour and her family a lot of family forced in there a fourth maori there's tia tamera taj and then who's the fourth one there's a fourth maori fourth maori this is a lie it also like i think that is eisner the opening is eisner walking through the harambe section the harambe village and it is so populated with background actors and like set dressing and stuff like it looks like a full interactive theater thing and later jane

seymour and her family and i feel very bad about this but they meet the mayor of harambe village joseph botoa joseph i'm sorry joseph for i'm going to as i've said before i will be rat fucking all other the Mark Beggars when my reign begins welcome to Harambee meet the mayor Jason Sheridan welcome but yeah I think that

some of some of that I don't remember much interaction interactive element they felt like they were really pushing. Like, it's a living, breathing thing. And I do think this park has a lot of character and is, of any of them in Florida, a living, breathing thing.

But I'm like, who are all these people walking around for this special? I feel like they're later on, yeah, a little too thick. Does anyone have any information, memories of the opening village of Harambe? Or is this a mystery to us all?

This is no Main Street, I don't think. I've been twice or a couple times in the last few years. This is in the Africa section of the park. It's where what else is there? This is where the Kilimanjaro safaris leaves from. It's where you board the train to go to rafiki's planet watch which is over now right it's reopening yeah it's reopening it's everyone thought they were announced they closed it and

now they just announced they're reopening it in the spring how about that rafiki's planet watch anybody uh you know i listened to y'all's episode on the uh killamon or on the um and i like that this park only has like two or three big rides and it's the rest is kind of chilling looking around looking at animals you know um because of where i'm at in life you know i don't need those crazy rides you know what i mean i don't need to get a head rush and i'm feeling shit for two days. I like just easy. I love going through all the animals and looking at them.

And again, I guess from someone who doesn't really go to zoos often, you can go up to that glass and there are gorillas on the other side of the glass, like five feet from you. I mean, not like a foot from you. Oh, yeah. And you can just sit there and watch them. The bats. Did you see the bats

the bats are so close the bats are i forget if i forget which it's the walkthrough tour is the same i think of the same when you're talking about but there's a couple like there's a little room and you just go and you just stare at bats like three feet from you and you're like these are terrifying wow they're just so weird they're just hanging there and you're just like fascinated and also there's holes there's like netting to protect you but you're like i can put my hand through here like they put a lot of trust in people yeah because i was thinking that like being like you know i don't know if y'all are like this but i have like sort of a dark vision of things where i'm like oh i could just uh you know throw this at someone i'm like oh i know all the time

you could throw a damn camera at an antelope and hit them they couldn't stop you they could remove you from the park and sue you or whatever but like they trust these people going through that safari to not jump out and grab a lion or something i mean is there a name for that because i i have that where it's an impulse to do the worst thing you could ever do i never do it yeah they say that's healthy to have like this thought is crazy and then you pass actively recognize yourself not acting on it yeah like i do that constantly it's weird it's like fantasize about if now i could do this is what you're saying yeah yeah like the starbucks is closed there's no one inside i could drive into it what's the harm i've never read that one you never just wanted to destroy a storefront that one not so much i feel like i used to have it when i'd be in band and i'd be watching the

like different symphonic band play and i had my like trumpet waiting for my part and i'd be like i could fuck everything up right now and i kind of felt like the urge to do, I never got close to it, but I would get away. This probably seems like part of my character. I would get away with telling other kids to do bad stuff in high school. I would say, Hey, do, it would be funny if you when you were signing your permission or your slip that said you practiced, if signed like hitler and he would do it like i would get kids to do stuff because i was too scared to do it but my bad

instincts i mean that isn't as bad as like driving your car through the starbucks no you didn't get anybody to like again no one's in there they're insured i'm ins insured. Go to the drive-thru first. And what's the name on that? Hitler. Yeah. Then drive-thru. Get your jollies off. Yeah. And play a ripping off-key trombone solo.

Yeah. Let's combine all of these awful things. That would be so funny. And then let a lion loose in there, too. It's so funny if you just, oh, when the saints, it's the middle of the day. What's the worst thing I could do now play when the saints go marching in an inappropriate time now in in terms of worst case scenario thinking i did find out an interesting thing about animal kingdom it is the only one of the disney parks uh that with bathrooms have doors

like think about the other disney parks you walk into the bathrooms it's kind of a you know an entryway hallway sort of thing these bathrooms have doors in case an animal gets loose you have a place to hide so now there is not really any record uh of incidents of animals getting loose thankfully um that probably but there's other parks with doors it's just maybe that all the bathrooms have doors in it uh yeah maybe that's it's other parks with doors. It's just maybe that all the bathrooms have doors in it. Yeah, maybe that's it. It's something like that. It's doors on bathrooms.

Disneyland, I guess. Typically, they're just open. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, more like. But like Animal Kingdom designed actively with doors. Wow. Which is the day where the shit goes down and everybody's huddling in an Animal Kingdom

bathroom. Jurassic Park day. Yeah, yeah. down and everybody's huddling in an animal kingdom park day yeah yeah but don't you think they would shoot that poor thing with tranquilizers so fast yeah i think there's probably extra guns at animal kingdom the problem is they're all different animals and they all have to coordinate sort of with themselves to probably be an effective like human eating situation they'd all have to like somehow communicate to each other today's the day right because i could see like a just a you know a pack of rhinos going nuts and they'll trank them

all the animals would have to lose their mind come together and say may 5th which might be a thing that they'll evolve into yeah like generations from now the animals all sort of develop a like we gotta get the hell out of here which Which especially the better kept animals at Animal Kingdom who are, like, or have it better than the caged animals at other zoos. Right. Yeah, maybe they're more, that's where the, you know, singularity or whatever, that's where the uprising is more likely to happen. The animal singularity. The animal singularity, yes. That'd be more likely to happen at like a shitty zoo.

Maybe so. Yeah. Yeah, where security is less. But I don't know, maybe these animal kingdom animals are smarter. Maybe they're evolving faster. So in a hundred years, and if some of those crazy crocodiles from the swamps start making it down there, maybe they start unlocking cages with their teeth. Well, and if...

And their buddies out. Aren't there like three Dr. Doolittle movies in development, like if people get inspired to talk to the animals, you know, we must kill these films before they wreak havoc. The good news is we won't be here in 100 years. Yeah. Oh, maybe not. Maybe not.

Because of global warming. From animal agriculture. Yeah, that's true i'm sorry let's say hey look we're it's a park with a conservation message and this is an episode with a conservation message yeah uh which said that is a thing that sets some of these attractions apart that even the uh even the rapids ride has is about uh deforestation and uh which i was watching this with my wife and she pointed out oh yes clearing out a bunch of forests uh for uh industrial purposes you know like a theme park it's a little weird to be yeah imagine forests coming down i think there's a time and a place and entertainment is important and art is important.

And, you know, keep some forest up, take some of it down for things that are going to serve us and then keep a balance. Yeah. You know, especially in Florida where like for every plot of land, Disney does something to it affects like swamp or marshland. They have to do something to counteract it. They have. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Quite a bit. They've covered their ass. Yeah. like swamp or marshland they have to do something to counteract it and they have right yeah yeah

quite a bit they've covered their ass yeah they had a pr team on this tons of trees tons of plants and stuff added for animal kingdom i remember that when i first went like these trees are a little thin sort of the same thing with the later 20th century islands of adventure and um california adventure like the early pictures make it look so thin in terms of trees uh because it takes like a decade for stuff to really grow and fill in but like animal kingdom looks beautiful now yeah and it's like especially now with all i don't know the trees are helping it but animal kingdom is the only, I don't know if the trees are helping it, but Animal Kingdom is the only one I don't know my way around still. Yeah. Which is interesting.

If I landed there right now, I wouldn't know where Asia is as opposed to Dinoland USA. I know like vaguely where stuff is, but like, I like that aspect of it is like, it does feel a little bit less structured than a theme park, even though it's of course structured like a theme park. It's just, I don't know. They do a good job of sort of blending everything and making me kind of in my memory be like i don't remember where i see everest over there i know where that is but it's like you're exploring it actually is an actual jungle i would imagine too like when when animal kingdom started there were the grand plans

of like what we were talking about going back to like the mayor and like locals and this and this is what i was telling you that jason the other day is why we got to go to star wars land first couple weeks is because they had such grand plans and vision for it and then within a couple weeks they're like oh this isn't sustainable uh-huh like you gotta see this insane stuff right yes because they're talking about being able to barter with a robot at star wars land and it's like that's gonna go go away. That's not going to last for three weeks. A kid will stick a pencil in its eye and it'll short out. A dad will be confused.

He just wants to buy an item. It's just like the robot won't give me the price I'm looking for and then he freaks out and then it's a viral video. If the card has a chip you must insert the chip. Well no, it's a Disney credit credit i have points on disney bucks on the credit card chip dad melts down and strangles robot this will be like a viral

video and then they have to pull the robot out what are dollars called in star wars damn it i just want a diet coke i'm so tired we do not have Diet Coke here. I know. Yes, I've been told that at every location. Why, you can milk Diet Coke from this beast. I don't want to milk it. Diet C-K-E is available. Well, is that the same thing, or is that a call letter for a robot or droid? They're not called robots here, Dick. A robot or droid is the correct term.

I think this is me. I think I'm going to be this. You might this you might be the man yeah you might be and not have a getting a diet coke i love i love people watching at the parks i mean that's i love the dads that you know like have to work and they've just had to go for the family and there's you can see their mind racing in their heads as they were they're like winnie the pooh mickey ears and they're just like i gotta get back to the office and my gillicuddy files are due i love i love it they all work in the 50s yes yeah the florida one i think is you see more of it because i i feel like i see less of cranky dad in disneyland and i see more of somebody who i might profile as hating

disneyland but they have like a big sweatshirt on like a big gaudy mickey sweatshirt on or something and you kind of overhear him talking you're like oh they're a nerd too yeah i don't know if florida has as many like townies as we have no yeah yeah so yeah you see more i think of like dad on vacation who has no strong appreciation for this and is just exhausted. Because there's so many people that from around the area that have passes that just go and get a dole whip and go home, you know, or that kind of thing. Yep.

Ain't it grand. That's the best. The dream. You know, who took a vacation to Disney's Animal Kingdom was Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Oh, I didn't know that yeah there's a there's a full animal kingdom episode of it she doesn't go to the other parks it's entire a lot of the show 30 of the show is in a hotel is in a fake coronado springs hotel room and the rest is in animal kingdom and i i love a good TGIF Disney World episode. This is a rough one.

Man. Yeah, it's not. I think this might be some of why I didn't really like Animal Kingdom for a while. I didn't like the specials as much. Not a very good TGIF. There is a very rough B plot where the two ants are digging in Dinoland USA, which is an area where you were kids can like excavate and they find a bone. And I guess a real bone is what we're led to believe. And one of the ants, one of the answers, I've got to find out more about this bone, which is like, that's a great promo line. This week on Sabrina, I've got to find out more about this bone. That's a great promo line.

This week on Sabrina, I've got to find out more about this bone. Which aunt is it? Caroline Ray? It's the other aunt. The other aunt that I don't know the name of. Broderick, I want to say. My dream role, a witchy aunt. I'm getting up there, you know.

I love those aunts. I thought they were very funny. Me too. That was a great show. Oh, and the cat yeah Salem Salem was this my favorite yeah I also thought it was

very cute when they all wished the Netflix cast good luck on their show I thought that was very charming that's nice yeah the thumbnail down from the Disney World episode the very next episode has RuPaul in it so they had fun bands and stuff. I feel like

the Monkees were on Sabrina and the Tears. Wait, is Sabrina on Netflix? It's on Hulu. Okay, good to know. Sabrina on Hulu. Check it out. I used to watch. I was very into the show when it was on. Yeah. Rough Disney World episode, though, I have to say.

The bone comes to life with magic and they make it a neanderthal who's running around the park with them yeah yeah yeah that's an odd choice yeah really strange see and you barely get to see a lot of it's a lot of it is sabrina running around the like nature outskirt of the party you don't get to see rides they don't talk about dinosaur they don't go on it uh it's uh it's it's a rough i give me my sweet park shots right let me see characters riding a ride for with no jokes for five minutes that's what i want in my theme park episode this park the way the lands and and everything are broken up it does start to slip a little because it's like ah the oasis when you walk in and then discovery island which

was originally called safari something it they where the tree of life is the big uh centerpiece of the park uh is he's on a island in the middle of the waterway and then you have africa and asia and then dino land usa had to get amer in there somehow. And then eventually Pandora, the world of Avatar. Yeah, it's a strange breakdown. Continent, continent, weird side road attraction. And then a place beyond the realm of imagination. You know what's so interesting, though, is that I never even thought about that. So I wonder how many people even notice oh

probably not names of these things at all i'm usually just yeah looking around being like oh that's cool and i do have to give them credit there is a full bag of like oh dynaland usa was made by chester and hester like it was a roadside attraction like like all the dina dinosaur like the cabazon dinosaurs in california like they they did put some thought into it because they're like well we need to put some kiddie rides in here somewhere yeah they found the way to justify it but i was reminding myself of the not built what was supposed to be in dino land usa the excavator oh yeah the excavator was like a mine car that takes you into the dig site uh and things go haywire and you go through it's like kind of an advance of big thunder mountain where you go

through some of those dinosaur bones and here you go through a full you know long fully enveloping dinosaur skeleton and then you get attacked by like a robotic dinosaur like it's like a crane or something that looks like a dinosaur the concept art is super cool uh and they they were gonna do it this was gonna be one of the major attractions of the place and then countdown to extinction came up which was a tie-in to the movie Dinosaur that was coming out, and they could use the same track as Indiana Jones. That was going to be cheaper, so we didn't get this cool dino roller coaster. That sucks.

I think that would have, like, notched up this park from out of the gate a little stronger. But they had to spread the word about the tale of, you know uh aladar and cron our friends aladar and cron as voiced by db sweeney and julianne margulies a dinosaur is a it's a weird yeah we should we should just we should watch time we should do a dinosaur commentary we should inflict that i feel like was one where my family just silently agreed like that summer like well we can skip this one right like no one was jumping on that yeah yeah if you skipped it then yeah i mean you like grandma auntie's squirrel badger cafe don't you she's grandma auntie animals not no longer represented not even an

animal she's a big aunt grandma aunt though that's possible i would imagine who knows did you like dinosaur when you went i did okay dinosaur was cool um expedition everest very cool sure yeah but my favorite favorite favorite thing was the kilimanjaro safari yeah i loved it okay i did mention this so i was at this park with my friend who is a former imagineer she was a very current non-imagineer anymore so we were hearing all the commentary from the couture guy but she was also telling me things and i was so i was so interested in one thing she had said that the giraffe, I think giraffes are so cool. I mean, really, these animals are fucking crazy looking like this warthog jumps out

and you're like, this is a damn pig with a damn wig on. It's like a wig, a big, crazy gray wig. It's like shoved at the bottom of the wig bed at the ucb prop closet you know what i mean like every mod team has worn that wig at one point this damn pig shoots out with a damn wig on i mean animals are crazy yeah and giraffes are cool and she told me that the giraffes at disney's animal kingdom are some of the only giraffes in the whole world that sleep lying down because they know they are not in immediate danger and that made me cry and i thought that was so sweet because you know maybe they are in a park

but they're safe they're not gonna get shot they're not gonna get eaten and i love that and i even quoted that in my wedding vows because i was i said something about like i feel like a giraffe at disney like i'm safe like it was cute that's amazing but in that moment i like really like that really got to me you know that's so interesting because it's so crazy it looks like those lions are gonna eat them they're five feet away you're like there's a lion on a rock right next to them but they are there's hidden barriers that we can't see i wonder if they ever go over there and sniff at those giraffes you know it's really interesting that would be a question

for like an imagineer of what are the protocols in place for things? Like how fast is someone deployed? What is the mechanism to deploy if someone, if one wanders into a wrong spot? But they don't, I guess, you know? I mean, they've. Because lions are only active for four hours and then the rest of the time they're sleeping. Wow. So it's crazy. And the women are the hunters they're sleeping wow so it's crazy and the women

are the hunters not the men is that sure oh sure hey and let's say shout out to the uh those temperature controlled rocks also isn't that sweet i think that's sweet how does that work if it's cold they do they warm the rocks and vice versa they cool them down if those are so those got to go into our fake rock hall of fame yeah that's fake rocks on the show yeah and so yeah those are very special fake rocks yeah they have a purpose beyond making some dorks in their 30s freak out yeah they help animals the lions lay on the rocks that's delightful it's so sweet because they really are just big old cats yeah yeah sure really are just big old cats yeah

did you oh no go ahead oh i was gonna say did y'all see the aquarium like the fish in the tank um i think it's called the it's not at the rainforest cafe yes uh beautiful wonderful appetizer deals uh no you know what's crazy i've never been to the rainforest cafe ever there was one in d Dallas and it was so popular There was a line out the place and I was just like I don't like lines Oh man this is the wrong topic I haven't been to

The Navi Avatar Land I'm not going to stand in line for two fucking hours I'm 34 years old I don't care You know what I mean? i can't think of anything mike counterpoint counterpoint riding on the back of the mighty acron is something that you'll never forget it is a journey that people uh literally gasped after they were done when we went on it

the first time uh very emotional and i would argue very worth two hours in line. Really? Mm-hmm. The Avatar? I would, yeah. Wow. See, that's really interesting. That's good to hear. You know, I waited in line for Blink-182 to be the very first person in. I did that. Was that the recent concert or before?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, the one in Vegas. So you were up in the front of the pit. I was at the very front, right under Mark. How is the mosh pit now at that? And what's the age group? Zero. Zero mosh pit. People our age? They don't let you mosh. Oh, interesting.osh pit now at that? And what's the age group? Zero. Zero mosh pit.

People our age? They don't let you mosh. Oh, interesting. They didn't at this particular event. I mean, you're in the casino. Right, right. Yeah. But is the age...

You're in the palms. Is it people in their 30s? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I was... Next to me was like a chick my age. It's all kind of our age people. Yeah.

I was shocked because I saw a replacements concert a couple years ago and i'm and there's all people older than me because that was a band that was popular when i was not born and or very very little yeah i don't even know what that band is i'm embarrassed to say oh well they're like a cool they're like a culty a cool band but they're really really good i think that the hype is not too much for them they're really great but they reformed and uh there were a lot of baby boomer types there and all of a sudden they started mosh there's like a group that started like moshing so like dads were like smacking into each other and then like some dads were mad at the dads moshing yeah and it was a whole like scene developed at the palladium and i was like what the hell's going on here i love that when i saw blink at the forum a couple years ago there were kids sitting in front of me and they knew every word and they were probably 16 which is when i how old i was

when i saw blink in concert sure so because of youtube and stuff fandom has grown into all genres for everything did y'all go to Ringo last year? no 2016 we saw the lineup with Todd Rundgren, Richard Page who else was in the all star

Richard Page God what an angel that ties it back together Richard Page sings America, spread your golden wings that guy from the Ringo band God, what an angel. Hell yeah, Richard Page. Richard Page. That ties it back together. Richard Page sings America. Oh, yeah. Spread your golden wings. That guy from the Ringo band, the singer of Mr. Mister, sings the American Adventure Epcot song.

Oh, my God. I didn't know that. There you go. Ringo was repping Disney. That should be on the account. Post a picture of Richard Page. Yeah, more all-star content, please. That man has the voice of a fucking angel.

Again, I was very high. I was weeping during his songs. Because I don't believe in God, but that made me believe in God. I was like, this person, he's blessed. The vocals of Richard Page? Are you kidding me? Wow. He's an older man, but he sounds like he's 20.

You're talking like Kyrie Eleison. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Broken Wings. Broken Wings. Check out his solo album. Check out his Broken Wings. Check out OCOE from his band Pages in the 70s.

I'll cut myself off now or I'll never stop talking. I'm impressed. OCOE, check it out. But anyway. He's amazing. Yeah, yeah. And y'all need to see Ringo In the all star band if they come through town

Ever it was a big concert Fans check out Ringo in the all star band Oh that was what happened to me in that concert He's in this like deep not famous culty band Called they're not even culty they're so obscure This band Pages and he was setting up One of his songs one of his Mr. Mr. songs And you know I used to be in a band called Pages

Woo me only In the entire greek theater one person everyone's old too like everyone had many more years to know that yeah yeah even more sad and i'm yes somehow me in my 30s i'm the only person giving him love on this but yeah i'm gonna look that band up now please check out his voice is incredible i mean it moved me I'll send you the whole Pages I missed him this last round when Ringo was back in LA last year he wasn't in the band anymore

and I was bummed he's out of the band? he was this round yeah it was still a great show the men at work guy is now in it oh he was in it a long time Colin Hay he was great he was in it a long time. Colin Hay. Yeah, he was great. He's bumped in and out of the All-Star Band.

He was great. I did a whole bonus episode of my show, Natch Butte, which is a fucking makeup podcast about Ringo starring in the All-Star Band. That's how passionate I was about this. It was a bonus episode I did. And I started crying because Ringo has overcome so much.

You know, he almost died as a child. Couldn't read, was poor. And look at him now. He's flourishing, you know. He's really inspiring. He's not signing autographs, but other than that... He's not, but it's because you know why he doesn't sign autographs? Because they would end up on eBay and he would rather

sign things that he knows are going to go to charity. So he only signs things for charity now. He should have said, he was sad that it was an angry moment, he said when he made that video. Yeah, because he was mad because he saw a guitar he signed it up on ebay he said that on howard stern yeah geez okay so no deforestation uh you know let's be careful be careful with our animals and don't sell ringo's and no more autographs peace and love this episode is really like one of the uh you know circuitous tracks and trails you can take around the animal kingdom well look

in fact here's a little tease we are i think we can say we're soon going to do an episode about one of the shows and i don't want to say what show but it's just we don't have time to go into it because there's so much to get in there I mean it's got two worlds and one family how can we possibly fit this into an already two hour episode I'm excited to learn what this is because I have forgotten

in this moment oh boy get ready buckle up everybody but what do we fit in before we uh before we wrap it up uh i got a roadie thing yeah uh roadie yeah so i i kind of was wondering about like why why does everything look asian like why especially like in you know the the continent of asia and like there's so much of asia that looks like blade runner that looks like the future and i was trying to figure out like oh why all this old uh older looking things and of course

joe wrote he's on record it's like you know they reached out to local craftsmen to carve animal statues and do roof work and they learned how they built buildings uh you know we talked about that on the everest one and uh there he has a very interesting quote about uh aging which was the idea behind it of making everything look older um and i'm lost i know i swiped it okay we created this motif of age of erosion it reminds us that no matter how great our efforts nature is the most powerful force around us and we should respect it it's almost a moral tale so i think that is very fascinating to look at the park through that lens and like see like oh yeah the park the nature of the park just keeps growing, but everything like has, you know,

rust painted on or faded, uh, elements to it. Oh, so it's always reminding you that like of the, the temporary nature of our structures, but the nature itself will, uh,

uh, keep thriving. Yeah. Uh, yeah, this is great. Hey, Joe roadie.

This is the, as we, as we've Hey, Joe Rohde, this is the, as we've said a little bit before, this is like kind of the culmination of his aesthetic. At this point, that it's this, the park in general was this guy, Avatar is this guy,

Expedition Everest. Yeah, he's a legend. He's, did you go on the Tower of Terror in Tokyo? Hell yes. Yeah. Twice.

Do you know the character they have, Harrison Hightower? That's modeled after, imagine, Joe Rohde, who's a very earthy guy. So it's a joke that he's this crazy capitalist monster. I love that. So he's playing against type. Scott, you don't know about the Hollywood Tower, the Tower of Terror. I know about generally Harrison

Hightower, but I don't know the story. It's so fantastic. It's really cool. It's really cool. If I get up the nerve to do it. At least go do the line. At least do the queue. Oh, wait, are you doing drop rides? I'm a no drop. Yeah, I hear that.

I've started doing the launch. I've come around on the launch. It's going to be hard. It'll be hard, though, if you're in the line and you're trying to explain to somebody who doesn't speak English, like, I'm just doing the queue. And they're like, yes, right, right, right. And they're like, right this way. And you're like, oh, the exit.

And then you're on the ride. I think you can pull it off. But it's a little less scary than current guardians correct i have not been honest well no i guess it's you know what it is it's there's a there's a i'm trying to think there's a couple months now where they do a bunch more drops what we found on it was that it was too short for us it felt like the original Tower of Terror ride profile. And it felt like 90 seconds or a minute. And we're like, that's it? So then apparently there's a couple months when they try to attract teenagers to come to the park. Where it's called something more blah, blah, blah.

And it's more change up ride profiles. And it's more drops and stuff. And it seems like it's... But I don't know if that's happening now. Teenagers love to drop, but I was like, so mad teen months. It's teen.

It's all, I think it's all teen specific. These teens will be the death of me, but you have to see the pre-show and everything. And the, just the queue itself is unbelievable. Okay. Okay.

At the very least, once you get to like the loading area, just like run backwards and like i bet there's some kind of exit area there has to be yeah oh yeah or just have your like translator out and says like i need to leave they'll know enough i missed my pants here what does this say they shut the ride down that translator app doesn't work that well i i got into a weird thing with a girl and i wish i could remember it she showed it to me and it said like lion lubricant or something i was like what and she was trying to tell me that

i had my shirt on inside out my tag was out it was because she translated japanese to show it to me in english and i was like oh thank i didn't know what the fuck she showed me i was like adam it just said lion lubricant i was like what i just go thank... I didn't know what the fuck she showed me. I was like, Adam, it just said lion lubricant. I was like, what? I just go, like, smile. I didn't know what she was trying to tell me. We had some success with it, but it wasn't perfect. I'm trying to go through just, like, last anything

I wanted to get in. There's probably a lot more we could talk about with the beastly kingdom we've alluded to a little. There's supposed to be a little mythological world that was kind of too expensive to get built. Avatar's sort of in in its place now that's what represents the fantastical side of nature and that was going to be the thrilling more like kind of element that some people thought was lacking where you'd get a crazy ride roller coaster there right yeah really good road now there's everest and uh but there was not a big thrill ride but there was in his dedication of the park mentions like a land of

all animals from you know lions to dinosaurs to dragons and stuff like meant like tipset like previews it and then dragons are in the logo too yeah it's like it's a very like the hakuna matata silhouettes of animals walking in a line and right in the middle is a dragon where's that dragon and try to get a dragon onto that boat ride. And I don't think, I forget if it got built or not. Yeah. But it's been removed if there ever was one. But I think it's interesting that there was Camp Mini Mickey.

That was another land. Another land that sounds odd. And that was always meant to be temporary. They were like, yeah, we're going to put something better here. And I believe that's where uh pandora is now we'll do it we'll break off that'll be the sleepiest second grade episode how many of y'all have been on the pandora thing just mike just me okay so we don't yeah we gotta we gotta build up to that we we're not qualified we can't do that episode yet we haven't wept the tears that Mike has wept. Right. But I have faith that my co-host will civaco rise to the challenge.

Of wearing shoes with cushioned insoles to withstand the standing in the line for it. Even with a fast pass. Yes, of course. Let me say this fact that I learned about this dragon roller coaster that was supposed to be built. The synopsis of the plot is very odd to me. Well, you know, there's the good side of Beastly Kingdom in which you meet a unicorn. And then there's the bad side, the evil side,

dominated by Dragon Tower, a ruined castle home to a greedy, fire-breathing dragon who hoarded a fabulous treasure in the tower. So it's a money-stealing dragon. Greedy, grubby dragon. So it's a money stealing dragon. He knows about money and takes money. But also blatantly the plot of the Hobbit. Oh yeah.

This is their way to do like an off brand like without paying the money the Tolkien money. The castle was also inhabited by bats who planned to rob the dragon of his riches. Got it. Dragon stole money.

Bats want to steal it back. That would have been so cute to see little bats with like one little doubloon in their feet. Yeah. Little bills. Little rubies. Yeah. One little ruby in its claw. The bats were to enlist

us, the guest's help, in their scheme and with so i think you were gonna ride in a bat the vehicle was a bat oh and i saw concept art that seems to uh support this so yeah so you i all right well we're us you're i'm me and i met a bat Who wants to rob a dragon who robbed Other humans got it Great let's go get that money back Rob from an animal and give To another animal does the unicorn ever Come back I don't know bats do I don't know are they cutting me in

Why am I helping the bats oh the unicorn was A different ride yeah you met a unicorn in a maze Yeah telepathically talk To you unicorns oh right Through the vibrations i heard that on y'all's last episode yeah yeah that's very dolphin-y that seems like a very sonar sort of uh i think and i'm creeped out by dolphin sonar and thus i'm also creeped out by unicorn vibrations i when you said when you described that last time i was like oh i don't like this unicorn

i would have been interested to see what they did though i bet it could have been cool yeah i think there was also supposed to be like a fantasia kind of boat ride with like animal scenes from like the same as fantasia segments i wonder how much of that was like oh fantasia 2000 did not do well so put that one back in the drawer people didn't want to do the graduation march as a ride with you seen that segment it's donald duck is noah and he's leading all the animals under the boat and it's to the graduation theme and disney's trying to say well you know that piece existed before it's only we recently who have made it the graduation song but it actually is a piece that

like no no no it's the graduation song well It makes you feel, why are these, these animals are graduating? We're at an animal graduation. Wait, what do you mean graduation song? Vitamin C? Oh, I wish. I also was thinking about Vitamin C. I don't know, but that. As we go on.

Vitamin C. A listener of the show, Kia Burton, is in the music video for, our good friend is in the music video for our good friend in the music video for she's in the kids choir in the Vitamin C Friends Forever music video. That better be in the Twitter bio. That's such an iconic shit. Yeah, that is great. I don't know if she was trying to bury this fact.

Have you ever seen Vitamin C in concert? I haven't. No, neither have I. I don't know where she's at. I don't know what she's up to. A good Halloween costume. Dye the hair. Yep. No, neither have I. I don't know where she's at. I don't know what she's up to. A good Halloween costume. Dye the hair. Yep. Yep. Well, now everybody has orange hair, you know?

Hmm. Is that true? Everyone has bright colors. Everyone has brightly colored hair. Everyone went to Japan. That's true. They go hand in hand. Yeah.

I wanted to say real quick, did you ride the Beaver Brothers Explorer canoes in Japan? No. Well, something I did that you didn't. Take that, grandma. Beaver Brothers Explorer canoes in Japan? No. Wow, something I did that you didn't. Take that, Grandma. Beaver Brothers. At the Skunk Weasel Cafe. Is that their Rivers of America canoe? Yes.

Yeah, it's the pedal. But you should do it. Okay, what's the deal? Well, you're in a big, giant canoe, and no one speaks English, and they tell you to row and it's just a really fun experience of like not knowing what's going on and you get tired. I mean, you have to really row.

I've done it at Disneyland. Yeah. And it's exhausting. It's exhausting, but it was really fun. I had a really fun time with it. Did you see beavers or anything? I don't think I saw a beaver.

I don't recall a beaver. That's just a name. It's just the proprietors. Immersing yourself in a group of people and they're not all people from japan i mean like you know you never know you know uh it's people from all over the world working together to canoe this boat and you have to say the commands and it was just really fun i don't know i liked it you learn a word that you all i do but i can't remember what it is i i was gonna watch my instagram archives and like because i was filming part of it because i was laughing so hard i was like this

is so funny it's japanese for rise to the challenge yeah i was gonna say scott the justification of that um imagineer ago or the animator going like well the graduation song was a long around before we took it for graduations that is a leap so big you could only make it on the back of the mighty acron that was for you you did a mighty leap in time to yes i did yeah yeah i was very pleased with it so you did yeah yeah yeah well what else do we have to give what else do we have to fit in as the gates close for the now extended hours of Animal Kingdom? I've never been to the Yak and Yeti restaurant. I need to go there when you talk about that eventually.

I haven't been to any of the good restaurants. I'd like to. People say that's a very good restaurant. So, Thule Canteen also supposed to be very good. Thule Canteen, very good. Yes. I can confirm that you can get like a protein bowl or you can get quinoa there. You can get quinoa and tofu.

That's one of their most like progressive quick service disney world restaurants i mean disney could be if disney like park gets the impossible burger like or they have them in california adventure they do have it now okay yeah it's not beyond it's the impossible it's the impossible wow really because the impossible is a better one the beyond depends i i'm not mad at a beyond because i do i'll eat a beyond but it's impossible is better to me it's let's see but i think burger at the lamplight lounge oh okay so they're out there that's still on the nicer if disney could buy in bulk enough to bring the price down that people would try it. And so they could get people on these things a little bit. I found the Impossible Burger to be more seamlessly fooling of me. That's not the right sentence.

But Fat Burger has it here, and I had it. And I was like, oh, this is... I'll eat a Beyond Burger, but Impossible really felt like they got it. They're close. It's really good. Have y'all had the Carl's Jr. one yet? No. What is that?

It's a Beyond. Oh, it is? I think it's called the Famous Beyond Star Burger, but I've had two of them now, and I had never eaten a Carl's Jr. in my life until this week. Okay. So you endorse that one. I was inspired to go after the Super Bowl commercials because Hyundai famously took a jab at vegans

in their commercial. Oh, right. Of course. And then Carl's Jr. had a commercial for their new vegetarian burger. So I said,

fuck Hyundai. I'm going to go buy Carl's Jr. burger. And it's good. And it's beyond. It is. Okay. Yeah.

I'll try it. And then we've talked, of course, about Taco Bell being a very good option, especially with the app. Yes. The app. You changed, especially with the app. Yes. The app.

You changed my life with that app, Mike. This is what I want to hear. You have changed my life with that app. And I said it when I was on Doughboys. Yes, thank you. I was like, that Taco Bell app, you can grill your frigging seven-layer burrito. It changes the game. Oh.

You can modify anything. And you don't have to wait in the line. And you don't have to be an asshole and say your order out loud. They just have to sigh inside when they see it. They go, oh, God. Exactly. Get that Taco Bell app. And there's also free stuff on there all the time.

Like free drink, free taco. I'm like, hell yeah. Sure. Yeah. There used to be McDonald's in Animal Kingdom, right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like hell yeah sure There used to be McDonald's in Animal Kingdom Right yeah yeah Which is Which is yeah I don't know it bothered me there was but just the

Fries remember where they were selling just The fries that's right yeah Bizarre it was a weird Restaurant Osiris is that Was that their McDonald's wasn't there like a No now I'm getting confused with the sun The dinosaur sunglasses hut in California Vent Adventure that was right by the Fry Stand. This was a cruddy time.

I didn't like any of this stuff. Bad specials, bad TGIFs, and I'm fine with a McDonald's, but I don't know. It felt invasive in the parks. They even called it, in California Adventure, they called it burger invasion as a little like jab at like that was the imagineer's way of getting back at uh this forced mcdonald's entry into the parks but yeah i don't i'm anxious to go back to animal kingdom and forgive the late 90s bummer sins of the uh right because i didn't i've i i both of the times i went there in the last decade i did not go into animal kingdom at all. I clearly owe it a visit.

You definitely owe it a visit. I do think it's good that they, kind of in the territory of things that are good about the park, they don't use plastic straws or plastic lids for fear of it getting in the animals' habitats. Okay, I like that. It's the only one of the four parks in Florida that does that. But they're kind of de facto saying, yeah, this is bad. Anyway, ignore these other three parks where we do this. There's animals all over those parks.

Yeah, there's still birds and cranes and ducks. There's animals everywhere. I saw a cat at Tokyo Disney. Yeah. There was a little kitty just hanging out and we tried to pet him. Sure. Let me say this weird fact about when talking about animals at the parks, that one of the things in the corner of Animal Kingdom and their conservation efforts is that they've

significantly raised the population of Guam kingfisher chicks. What do those look like? What are they? Don't know. But they were almost on the way out. In an animal kingdom, they're thriving. Love that. Wonderful.

Life will find a way. That's not from The Lion King or any... Circle of Life. How about that? There you go. Beautiful. Circle of Life probably played too much in all of the specials. In all of the build-up.

I think they maybe overestimated. I think it's impossible to underestimate how much people love and don't get tired of Let It Go. I'm not one of those people. I got tired of it quickly, but clearly they have not hit the ceiling on Let It Go. Circle of Life, they seem convinced.

Yeah, we can have full performances of Circle of Life in every special for a decade. I could see Circle of Life in every special for a decade I could see Circle of Life all day but I don't give a shit about Frozen did y'all hear about the theory about why they made Frozen so people would stop googling

Disney's Frozen head so to cover up the conspiracy so to cover up the conspiracy they wrote a movie called Disney's Frozen So it would never be able to be found On Google again To hide the fact that Disney's head is frozen I feel like I could find it on Google right now though

Well you have to change the search history To only show articles before Frozen came out We'll look into this So they also have to make a movie called Commie Hater Distributed from Disney being a commie hater disney 2022 but it's a dean movie that's just a last name it follows william commie hater and played by josh gad disney plus did you hear the verb of that though they're changing the name of disney plus to gad

plus because it's all all gad all the time baby i did hear that i think that's true the biggest brands in the industry right now netflix apple gad yeah sure i have a final question i think but it should be the last thing before we we exit to the gift shop sure what does everybody else have anything else i'm good to go i just really quick want to say because my podcast natch butte is all about skincare beauty wellness oh yeah i want to tell everybody that if you are a theme park head you got to wear sunscreen i don't care if it's overcast absolutely i don't care if you're at florida and it's raining when i was there it was raining all the time it was very foggy and cute and fun you got a sunscreen up every day and at night you got to wash your face wash your face wash off all the pollutants all the dirt everything that hits your face the old sunscreen so keep that skin fresh sunscreen it and definitely put a

moisturizer on at night after a big day at the park very good advice i need to do that more sometimes i do it sometimes i get lazy every time any sunscreen? You know, the last time I was there, even though it was overcast, I got a little like bleary. And I think it was because that sun was creeping in there and I wasn't wearing anything. So I'm thinking, yeah, your advice is resonating with me. Please, everybody, no matter what age you are, everybody, put that sunscreen on before you hit the lines. Any recommendations, brand wise brand wise i mean you know

what i'm a bougie bitch so i like that sephora price point i'm all about the super goo those are at the parks yeah you can get one at universal city walk or disney uh downtown disney sephora is oh yeah there you go because i don't like uh you know on natural we only do non-animal testing products so a lot of the like neutrogenrogenas and whatnot, they test on animals. So we're all about kind of the... Sure. You got to look at it. I like Supergoop and Kula, C-O-O-L-A.

They're both at Sephora, Ulta, that kind of price point. Great, good, high quality ingredients and all kinds of different ones, depending on what you're looking for. If you want a mineral, if you want a chemical. If you don't know what the fuck that is listen to natch butte babe i'll tell you wow cool that's a good specific yeah yeah listen uh listen to natch butte um what would the day could that doesn't matter when days anymore i was gonna be like it comes out every comes out every friday friday like us okay we'll just head on over there right now. The fun day. Friday, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

That's where the coolest podcast. We have crossover fans because the tweets were coming in. I saw that. Yeah. People were excited. Well, I hope you liked it. I hope we did its service and we'll get to Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boutique. I'm down to all try and go.

I mean, whenever y'all want. Oh, yeah. I have questions for you probably off air about my scalp and about my moisturizing routine, but we'll do that later we're too far if you're upset that you didn't get to hear this on air let us know i am very dry very dry yeah how often do you wash your hair well here's the problem is that i when i people say don't wash your hair a lot wait a couple days it gets worse if i do that you gotta train way worse you gotta train it i've tried way worse. You gotta train it. I've tried. Yeah.

It's unsustainable. Yeah. Interesting. Mike has almost knocked over his microphone twice. This is a problem that's been plaguing me for years. Yeah. Same. It's a problem.

It is. We'll talk about it later. We'll talk about it later. My final question, though, is if we had to populate Ringo's All-Star Band with Disney characters. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Instrument playing Disney characters. What do we think oh boy sunny eclipse has got to be sunny eclipse is in there king king louis in there some of the aristocats bands who are not racist stereotypes are probably session guys okay i want brer bear

in there somewhere does he play an instrument he does in my head maybe he's just like the mighty mighty boston's dancer guy the hype man's dancing back and forth. He can probably play a jug. Yeah, but there's like a jug. I was going to just put a country bear in there. I'm fine with that. A country bear. That's fine. Or is it just the country bears with Ringo in front? God, I would love that.

It's maybe the cleanest. Yeah, that works maybe the best. I would love that so much. Can Richard Page be there? And and of course he's part of the disney family of america they ringo and all-star man you got to get uh that's get golden dreams into the sun oh my god yeah we will go and start touring yeah okay tour with the country bears well i'm having trouble limiting it i want ring Ringo, with his vast wealth, to, next time he goes on tour, pay for a Rockafire Explosion and a Chucky Make-Believe Band and the Country Bears.

Let's get a Muppet in the Kermit playing the banjo. Oh, yeah. Sunny Eclipse. On the banjo. Kermit the Frog. Kermit the Frog. He could put... Ringo could put Kermit the Frog in the all-star band and nobody would

bat an eyelid nobody would say that's weird he perfectly fits into the lore of the band absolutely yeah why not

could we get some of the like under the sea animals in there that's good yeah the Duke plays the flute playing the flute

yes the flute plays the well I don't remember the cop playing the harp give a hand and fall here we go again Lute plays the I don't remember. The cop playing the hop. Give a hand for here we go again.

And then of course they have to play Octopus's Garden when they bring the Undersea. This is the finale. Octopus, they all leave. You think it's done. But then my Undersea friends flounder and Sebastian. A hippo opens its mouth and a bug, a crab, a shrimp.

Hitting his teeth. Yeah. Oh. This is the. How do we make this happen? Well, do we have to make these animals alive? Do we have to breed these animals? Or are they all robots?

Is it easier to make Ringo a cartoon? He's already been a cartoon in various guises. Sure. And he's been, he's been on shining time station. Yeah. So there's Ringo shrinking technology available visually. Um,

I, maybe the easiest thing, you know, you could take all these robots and you could take them on tour with Ringo, or you could just make Ringo a permanent part of the under the sea. Ariel's undersea adventure ride. Now that is my favorite of all these ideas. Yeah. Ringo lives

in Under the Sea right now. And it's old Ringo. It's 80 year old Ringo. Yeah. I just think he's in the peace and love position and he's singing. Is there a scarier song he can sing with Ursula? Or does he just do a duet i admit that in the past i've been a nasty oh i would love oh boy he could that would be doing poor unfortunate

if he turned the no no song into like a dirge like a minor he put no no that up yeah yeah i don't take souls no more it kind of sounds like a ringo song yeah yeah that was very easy to go into yeah poor unfortunate souls and then on kiss the girl ringo's kind of peering through the bushes with like sebastian and flounder like making sure that it happens you know what kiss the girl could be a ringo song they're all really short phrasing can't hold a note out to save his life please is there a cover somewhere of ringo singing kiss the girl or poor unfortunate souls brian wilson has covered uh kiss the girl he has an entire disney covers album right so uh ringo take a cue from your friend brian wilson give us

what we all heard that that's like because my husband's a tiki head okay let's say that's like combining two interests once again yeah if i'm not into it i'm a giant disney and a giant beach boys head and i i don care. And you're saying not to listen to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that doesn't get the Scott Sam approval, but Ringo, please live the rest of your life in the Under the Sea ride.

We're all agreed, including Jackie. Jackie Johnson, you survived podcast the ride. Oh, I'm so happy. Thank you so much for being here. Let's exit through the gift shop well i think you i think i know well you already plugged a little bit when does this come out no yet we got i'm not sure this exists outside of time it doesn't matter perfect what do you have coming up in march well i am doing a skincare collab with a company called lolly beauty and it's a fully sustainable uh organic food grade

skincare line and we're doing three products so if you like skincare you can head to the nash butte instagram my instagram twitter listen to nash butte nash butte.com go anywhere because i'm really excited about their products they're all pink pink's my favorite color it's called the nash butte pank collection so it's available now so check it out and uh listen nash butte wow great you folks uh check us out patreon.com slash podcast right for this second gate uh full of even more magical content and i'm sure more ringo bullshit Yes! That's so sweet. I was worried. It wouldn't be more of me. Check us out on Twitter and Instagram.

There's a Facebook group. Facebook and Reddit are separate from us, but they're existing and happening, and I'm glad they are. They're nice places. Check them out. Yeah, people seem nice. Jason and I actually approve people for this Facebook group. Is that right? Yeah, because the Facebook spots People seem nice. Yeah. We, Jason and I, actually approve people for this Facebook group. I don't know.

Is that right? Yeah, that is right. I didn't know that. Yeah, because there's the Facebook. His boss will get you if you don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. We fortunately avoided that.

So it is our group. Well, it is our group. Oh, yeah. The group we set up. Jason's more active on it than I am, though. I don't. I take a look most of the time. Administering Facebook groups is confusing and not very clear.

Like, the actual software is odd. That's why the election went the way it did. Yes. But the people are nice. Everyone's nice in the group. Yeah, everyone's nice. It's great. Everyone's nice.

Keep being nice out there. Yeah. And we'll catch you on the next podcast ride. Peace and love. Peace and love. Peace and love. Peace and love. Peace and love.

No more autographs. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Bohm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. Hey there. Congratulations. You made it all the way through that episode. Wow.

We did not think you were going to be able to do it. We barely could. Yeah. Anyway, now that you did, Michael and I have a pretty cool surprise for you. We are going to get high. What? Come on. What are you talking about?

Let's light up that joint, baby, with our listeners. No, Colin, that is not what we do. Little Rondi is a podcast about books what it's not about getting stoned I thought we're I thought we had a special treat you don't even smoke weed you freak out but I was paranoid we had a special treat or surprise for the listeners who made it

to the end of we're gonna play him a clip from our show how would we get everybody high that doesn't even make I didn't I don't really listen to podcasts i didn't i didn't know if i'm guessing they had the technology to do that yeah that's such a weird no colin we're not gonna get anybody high we're not getting high okay i actually think that you shouldn't be promoting that on this podcast yeah okay fine but if you want to get high at home sure do it but

we're not promoting it that's neither here nor there we're gonna play a clip from our podcast with josh sharp so just listen and enjoy that and get high what and with that in mind we'd like to take the pressure off of us for a second and introduce you to the reader of today he's a recent nyu dropout and we know that means a recipe for success. Oh, yes, indeed. Dropping out of school and into our hearts, we have young novelist and self-proclaimed genius, Clint Dimples, for you. Enjoy.

Hello, my name is Clint Dimples, and this is a piece of short literature that I call The Story. There was once a girl with deep brown hair who lived with her grandfather in a small cabin upstate. Though her parents, who had been professors, died eight months before in an automobile accident while returning from an academic conference on the viability of the universal basic income, the girl was of the universal basic income. The girl was of a happy sort, her optimism only fading to melancholia on nights such as these, when the rain shuddering at the windows made her wish for her mother's arms. Her grandfather, a wiry man with a great beak of a nose, had just climbed the old stairs to her attic bedroom when he heard her quiet sniffles.

Is everything all right? He asked the girl. I'm just having trouble sleeping. She said it's hard sometimes. Yes, I know, said the grandfather. Maybe a story would help. The little girl nodded, and so the old man began. There once was a girl with deep brown hair who lived with her grandfather in a small cabin upstate. Though her parents, who had been professors, died eight months before in an automobile accident while returning from an academic conference on the viability of the universal basic income. The girl was of a mostly happy sort, her optimism only fading to melancholia on nights such as these, when the rain shuddering at the windows made her wish for her mother's arms. Her grandfather, a wiry man with a great beak of a nose, had just climbed the old stairs to her attic bedroom when he heard her quiet

sniffles. Is everything all right? He asked the girl. I'm just having trouble sleeping, she said. It's hard sometimes. Yes, I know, said the grandfather. Maybe a story would help? The little girl nodded, and so the old man began. There once was a girl with deep brown hair who lived with her grandfather in a small cabin upstate, though her parents, who had invented the soda stream, were murdered eight months before while leaving up Papa John's Pizza in Bridgeport, Connecticut. The girl was of a mostly happy sort, her optimism only fading to melancholia on nights such as these when the rain shuddering at the windows made her wish for her mother's arms. Her grandfather, a wiry man with a great beak of a nose, had just climbed the old

stairs to her attic bedroom when he heard her quiet sniffles. Is everything all right, he asked the girl. I'm just having trouble sleeping, she said. It's hard sometimes. Yes, I know, said the grandfather. Maybe a story would help. The little girl nodded, and so the old man began. There was once a girl with deep brown hair who lived with her grandfather in a small cabin up state, though her parents, who had been professors, died eight months before in an automobile accident while returning from an academic conference on the viability of the universal basic income. The girl was of a mostly happy sort, her optimism only fading to melancholia on nights such as these when the rain shuddering at the window made her wish for her mother's arms. Her grandfather, a wiry man with a great beak of a nose, had just climbed the old

stairs to her attic bedroom when he heard her quiet sniffles. Is everything all right? He asked the girl. I'm just having trouble sleeping, she said. It's hard sometimes. I know how that is, said the grandfather, with the trouble sleeping. Is that why you sleep on the roof? The little girl asked. Yes, that's why. That's why I sleep on the roof. I see, she said. And no other reason, he yelled. Okay, cool, fine, said the girl. Will you tell me a story? Hmm? Said the old man.

A story. Oh, yeah, sure. Right. Story. Yeah. Oh, I can do that. And so the old man began. There once was a girl with deep brown hair who lived with her grandfather in a small cabin upstate, though her parents, who had been professors, died eight months before in an automobile accident while returning from an academic conference on the viability of the universal making a sick income. The girl was of a mostly happy sort, her optimism only failing to melancholy on nights such as these when the rain shuddering at the windows made her wish for her mother's arms. Her grandfather, a wiry man

with a great beak of a nose, long, pointed and yellow, like a beak, this nose, like a big fucking beak. Her grandfather, the man, he just climbed the old stairs to her attic bedroom when he heard her quiet sniffles. Is everything all right? He asked the girl. I'm just having trouble sleeping, she said. It's hard sometimes. Yes, I know, he said, scratching at his big fucking beak nose. Maybe a story would help. Sure, Grandpa, but what's happening to you? Whatever do you mean, he asked. Your nose, it's turned into a beak like that of a bird. And sure enough, it had the nose ossified into a large yellow beak. Squawk, said the grandfather. Squawk, squawk. As feathers, deep blue and red feathers, began to shoot out of his back. Squawk, he said. Squawk.

Why, grandfather, the little girl cried, you're turning into a bird, a real fucking bird with a giant fucking beak. It's amazing. His feet now claws. He reached over and stood atop the girl's wrists. Then he flapped and flapped until he started to rise over the bed, clutching the small girl beneath him, his great wings swatting at the walls. He tilted his feathered crown forward and burst beak first out of the large attic window. The girl hung below him as they made their way up higher and higher until the house was but a speck below them. She looked up. Thank you, grandpapa. Thank you. Thank you for transforming into a big fucking bird and taking flight. And then the old man let forth a mighty squawk, spread his wings wide, and the two soared off into the warm night air, floating and finally free. The end. What a lovely story,

said the little girl. But I must ask, was the grandpa in that story, the one who turned into a bird, was he supposed to be you? Me, the old man replied. Whatever you mean. I mean, said the little girl, that maybe it is you who wants to be a bird. I'm asking in part because I know you like to sleep on the roof. I told you about that already. I just do that because I like it. No other reason, he shouted. Well, sure, said the girl, but the way in which you, you know, chew my food up for me and our winter foods, our winter trips down south, it just all makes me think that maybe you want to be a bird for some reason, which, to be honest, is sort of a ridiculous notion, given that you're a grown man. And so if you actually want to be a bird, well, I don't know,

maybe you're just crazy. Okay, story time is over, said the old man. I'm turning off the lights now. It's time for bed. He pulled the chain on the lamp and all was still. I know you have to use the ladder in my room to climb onto the roof, Grandpa, said the little girl. So you can turn the lights back on and get it if you want. Okay, I'll turn them on just because I want to turn them on. How about that? Said the old man fumbling for the chain.

There we go. They're on. The lights are on. Oh, and look, it's the ladder I need to get on the roof. You know, I better go up there to check on some of the tiles and the roofing and other things. Not to sleep, just to, you know, check it out. I just, you won't mind turning the lights off once I'm up there, you know, just in case I take a while. No, grandpa, of course not.

All right, he said, here I go up the ladder to check on the tiles. Night, night, I'm almost to the top. Shutting the hatch behind him, the old man sat down on the roof, pulled his knees to his chest, then looked up to the sky and quietly sobbed. A pigeon landed on his shoulder, and the man gently scooped the bird in his palms and pulled it close. Not today, he whispered, snot running down his face. Maybe someday, but not today. The end. What a sad story, said the little girl. I feel sad for the man in that story who told that other story, the man who wanted to be a bird. Yes, the old man replied. But sometimes it is the sad stories that give us comfort, that remind us of how lucky we are to have what we have. Your parents left you with a great fortune and you should take solace in that. She nodded. Yes, but I still miss mom and pop. She paused.

Grandpa, do you think they'll ever find who murdered my parents in front of that Papa John's pizza in Bridgeport, Connecticut? The grandfather thought for a moment. No, I'm almost certain they will not. He drew in a labored breath. I was very careful. The girl looked up at him. You are what? I said I was careful. He stood up over her bed. And what's more, I'm not like the old man in that story, pretending to be something he's not. It's time you know who I really am, little girl. I murdered your parents outside of that Papa John's Pizza in Bridgeport, Connecticut. The girl pulled back towards the wall. You what? Why would you do that? Because I wanted that SodaStream money. And with them gone, now only you stand in my way. In one quick motion, he removed

the knife from his sleeve and plunged it into the little girl's chest. He pulled her close to his face and whispered, let me hear you squawk before you fly away, little bird. Let me hear you squawk. Stop, stop, stop, the little girl shouted. I don't like it when the stories turn scary. I'm sorry if I gave you a fright, said the old man, catching himself. I just thought a little adventure story might take your mind off things. Yes, but a story about a man who tells a story of some other man who lies and yet another story is a way of revealing that he's murdered a little girl's parents when I'm here sad about my parents? What are you thinking, you old kook? And what was all that bird stuff? You're right. You're right, the old man replied, standing up from bed. I guess I just got away from myself. He backed out of the room.

Good night. It won't happen again. He opened the bedroom door and tumbled into the dark, empty vacuum of space. The house fell away from him and he slowly drifted, naked now to his boxer shorts, earth far off in the distance. A chorus of male voices, hundreds of them, came at him from every direction. You've done well, my good and favored son. Squawk. Know that you are good and strong, and that your cock is mighty and powerful. Squawk. And as he crossed into the black hole, his every atom splitting into more energy than powers our sun, his frozen form on the event horizon trapped for eternity was that of a man, arms spread wide and reaching for something greater. The end.

I don't get it, said the little girl. Come to think of it, said the old man, me either. He gave her a kiss on the head. A nightingale landed on the windowsill. He pulled out an old Luger he'd stolen from a Nazi during the war, and then he shot the bird dead. The end.