Podcast: The Ride - Downtown Disney Ordeal 4-3 with Mike Mitchell

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus Mike Mitchell (Love, Doughboys) joins us for warm sandwiches. Level 4-Stage 3: Earl of Sandwich Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! Darkness falls out on the street, evil rears its head Get your crazy shake to go and your fried donut bread The villains threaten this sacred place, this downtown shopping mall We must defend the Lego store and the Splitsville bowling balls The Downtown Disney or do you? We must protect our AP discount meals

The Downtown Disney or do you? What secrets does the Earl of Sandwich conceal? Boys, boys, my cousin has been taken by evil forces that have inhabited Downtown Disney In order to find them, you will need to thoroughly discuss every aspect of them all. Stores, restaurants, both of the Starbucks. We have 18 daily, very necessary episodes

in which to do so. I will be there to guide you and keep your conversations from getting too off-topic or boring. The Downtown Disney Ordeal. Why do we do this to ourselves it's the downtown disney ordeal level four stage three we are working our way ever slowly ever surely through downtown disney the retail center uh in between disneyland and disney's california

adventure uh i'm scott gerdner mike carlson's sticking in there too. Yeah, I'm hanging in there. And Jason Sheridan. Yes, I was doing well. My madness levels have subsided from the underworld and then the last few days I've just been watching unfortunately, compulsively watching a lot of Mayor Pete dance videos and it is driving me more

insane again. I hate it and I cannot stop. So you don't know how to do the mayor pete dance well you do the up and then you do you do it like all four sides and then you do the spin and then you do all four sides is it similar to the there's a we played a chucky cheese song on the chucky cheese episode where it was like me and my friends which is sort of uh it sounds like the bruno mars song that one that he did with uh mark ronson and there's a dance associated with that and it's similar to the mayor pete dance similar yeah

yours is the first one i've seen because i've avoided any video of this so you just set the standard for me yeah uh uh don't don't start going down this rabbit hole though i fear you will i don't know knowing your some of your internet deep dives sure but i've already been down such a rabbit hole about today's topic about today's the owner the owner of today's uh restaurant and there's only one there's only one in today's stage and and along with that there's only one guest we ever wanted to talk about this very special place uh uh as as announced at ptr 23 months ago from doughboys from love and returning victorious from atlanta georgia as a movie star mike mitchell is here thank you for having me guys thanks for coming back as you know we've

been planning this out since the announcement day back at uh d23 yeah yeah it was tough to keep it under wraps so a lot of ndas required uh i mean you should have seen when we unveiled the video of you saying earl of sandwich everyone definitely knew what was happening and why they knew the context for sure exceedingly clear they must have known as much as i did when i was doing with like uh when i put the hat on i was like what's happening here yeah right should we say the original idea was you were gonna be there live i was gonna be there live yeah and then i had to leave i had to i had to leave i had to go to uh hollywood came calling yeah i came calling after a long time yes you

got the call you answered the call like so many of us you went off and have shot an exciting movie for months and months while we've just been sitting here doing this shit trapped in an ordeal it's called the tomorrow war answer the call colon answer the call uh i'm very excited about it there's a lot of good mojo around that phrase. I'm really glad they adopted it. What was the deal with Answer the Call? What does that mean as a subtitle? Well, you know, there's a few things going on. One, it wasn't originally there. It was like Edge of Tomorrow eventually evolved into Edge of Tomorrow colon Live Die Repeat.

Yeah, and then just straight up Live Die Repeat. Just straight up up live die repeat which is a better name do you think so i think i like edge of tomorrow better i think i liked it i think it is vague i think live die repeat is more specific you're just supporting tomorrow titles is what you're doing it's true team tomorrow but this is this is the exact same thing this movie was called ghost draft and now it's called the tomorrow war and i mean do people i like that do people like that better yeah yeah i think i like that because carlson's yeah i'm mixed but ghost draft but i feel like maybe ghost draft evokes something in my head but i don't know if it's actually what the movie is from what i've heard yeah i don't know i i i don't know i i i i think it was I thought it was Kind of a cool title

Maybe I just got used to it If Ghost Draft was about Ghosts getting drafted Onto football teams Which is kind of What I think of it We're drafted to like Fight a war

No no no Football teams Oh for football teams I like that too If it was like You could draft OJ Simpson He's still alive

And who would draft OJ first I don't know why I thought OJ immediately. When I first thought of any dead football player. There's plenty of, yeah, passed away. Merlin Olsen. That's all I can name. And he might not be dead either.

Walter Payton? Yeah. I got a first pick again. Shit, OJ Simpson. I was OJ Simpson again. You can put his name on your brain all the time. You're so big in the sports memorabilia world uh you run into him every now and then in vegas he and i have beaten down some people for some some merchandise

you got recruited you were one of those guys i got recruited that's why they cast you in tomorrow where they knew you looked good in a lineup of guys with guns um but getting back to it answer the call is a play on who you're gonna call right oh that never hit me till years later saying it's now yeah wow that's what that is oh my god they are the one but it's it doesn't work it's not it's not perfect yeah because who you want to answer was ghost but it was solved in the song yeah it was ghostbusters. It was solved in the song. The answer was Ghostbusters. Yeah. Yes. And it was also solved by Dan Aykroyd's cameo in Casper where he said somebody else. Somebody else. Good point.

They also could have just called it Ghostbusters colon who you gonna call. That seems cleaner. That makes more sense to me. But this, of course, the only mistake that was made. Yes. I have not seen it. You've never seen it't you've never seen it i've never seen it i never saw it what you never saw it either no i don't see a lot even in like

even in like a hate watch i don't really yeah i don't know i i didn't well i have a question for you is casper like an insanely weird movie i haven't watched in a long time it's got some very odd stuff in it for sure the the cameos are the strangest you should just flip through and find i don't even want to say who but when bill pullman looks in a mirror uh the some of the strangest cameos you you could never guess who's around the corner when he looks in the mirror well isn't father guido sarducci isn't he in the movie yes and then he goes in and that they this is this this still is in my head from back when i was a boy he goes in and then they're like twist his head around backwards and

he leaves with his neck broken yeah had we seen the ghosts be violent until that point but that they kill they they twist guido sartucci's neck around they snap his neck snap his neck attempt to kill him but it's just a full reversal yeah well they you hear him go like and then like you know chairs and dust goes flying but nothing that nothing like a full neck rearrangement this is also a very fun like a like an snl character what was guido what is he like we just back in the underworld where we just came from, our second gate episodes, we talked about the Blues Brothers and our perpetual confusion about why them and what is it and why, like, is it comedy?

And Guido Zarducci is another one of those that's a little lost. I remember liking him as a kid, but, like, my wife Erin, like, if he comes up, like, what is that? What was he? What was the joke there? What is the bit? I can't remember. I've seen a number of Father Guido's.

Isn't he always smoking? I mean, I think more priests did just, like, smoke regularly back in the day. Is that the bit that he's a priest and he smokes? No, I don't think it is. I think that's something he's got to sneeze. I'm going to tell you what I personally think it is. I think so much of the joke is his name is Father Guido Sartucci. And the or like he's a new york guy guido is like a like isn't that like a thing of like yeah a guido yeah yeah yeah oh right maybe that maybe that he yeah that he's kind of

this like yeah this odd stereotype kind of sleazy guy and yeah somehow i guess that's the bit we all know that that's so weird to me worse than the blues brothers the blues brothers at least we know like well they sing the songs and they're in universal studios have you watched a sarducci bit recently i don't mean the actual bit i mean in terms of popular culture oh oh i see it's lasted yeah someone may be able to point at the blues brothers and go like, oh, yeah, the Blues Brothers. I don't think like Zoomers can point and go like, ah, Father Guido Sarducci.

I don't know. I'm wondering. I don't think so. Or it's only, it's the guy from Casper. It's the guy from Casper. Oh, yes, they might know that. But how do we all sit here and know Father Guido Sarducci? Like, I'm not sure.

I guess we were all, I't know did you watch snl tapes growing up in 40 years we'll sound like well like uh in 40 years no one will know who the tab brothers are i'll say that much your character which is a character tim kelpakis and high character that we did but as of now that is there's a lot of halloween costumes i feel like that one comes back around a lot this is not what i was trying to get with this not trying to get ruined i was trying to think i was sadly trying to think of like a bad character i did and i'm like oh i just don't do characters i have no characters that i do oh but you have whoosh uh whoosh oh yeah whoosh is in 40 years will people

know who whoosh is whoosh might get its own life like if you kept pumping the the youtube algorithm towards whoosh whoosh being a character there was a sketch on the show but also lives as youtube links where you can wish your friend assuming it's a name that you guys chose you like fill in that happy birthday michael and you dub over yeah it's a customized birthday message you're being very nice but in 40 like first of all will whoosh get a walk-on role in like the my pet monster live action movie that's my question like it just doesn't make sense that father father guido sarducci is in this movie but you have to remember that snl in the 70 and especially when there was peak sarducci that snl had like 35 million viewers every week like everyone was watching that show quaaludes were legal my question here is what what are the peak sarducci years because you

said peak sarducci yeah because i sarducci lasted until like the early 90s right i kept using him yeah he would come and he hosted the show after the man who played him left the cast there were episodes in the 80s where eddie murphy's cast member it's like with your host father guido's really wait yes played him o'donohue don novello oh yeah of course did not anyone have that fact in their head i did i because he was he a writer too he was right yes yeah um you know what's gonna happen is like some new york comedian is gonna get mad at us for like belittling guido sarducci maybe who are you guys my whole fucking persona sebastian maniscalco like that's why he was my inspiration

i never would have done it without sarducci i have two questions one is, is Don Novello still with us? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. Has Father Guido Sarducci been in a car getting coffee with Jerry Seinfeld? He should be. Right? Doesn't that seem like a given? I think I have his last appearance. He delivered the benediction at the Stuart Colbert rally to restore sanity and or fear. Fuck off. colbert rally to restore sanity and or fear he was wearing his classic white clerical collar a long red trim black coat with cape zebra vest jacket and black beret so that is maybe that

on the wikipedia at least maybe there's another appearance they had to get sarducci for the ultimate comedy for that ultimate bring sarducci back yeah to. To those New York comedians who will get upset at us. Comedy isn't that great right now. I would like a Sarducci cameo. Oh, man. Sarducci going like, high, high hopes for the living. That's the Mayor Pete dance. Hey, if he gets the nomination, Mayor Pete, Father Guido.

Oh, and the ticket. Imagine that on the bumper sticker six months now like two months of biden two months of war and two months of mayor pete the bloomberg months are gonna be so miserable i it is funny that it does just switch it just switches around there's a little carousel're going to hear about all these dipshits. February, I mean, when regular, it will hopefully get better when regular people start

actually pulling polls and it's not just like Ivy League weirdos on 24-hour cable just talking all day long. Also, I know this is kind of a weird place to announce this, but I'm going to be running too. Honestly, thank God. You might have the, you're enough of an everyman uh it will be you know what it was gonna be democrat there's some bad optics when they're like what's the first amendment and i'm

like uh no we like that we don't like we're sick of know what we're sick of even know what all is like trump trump knows too much we need we need somebody who can't even you guys need to say the world needs someone dumber than trump and that's what i'm running on you can provide mitch you will have to distance yourself from some of the like hometown from like scooch and whitey bulger the third like your hometown voice i think that's actually no i think that's wrong i think they I think that's wrong. I think they're in the cabinet. Oh, okay. I think you're right. Oh, yeah. Oh, the whole gang. Team of rivals, right?

And Jason, I just want to say that Whitey Bulger's a fucking rat, and I don't like Whitey Bulger. You know what? You're right. No, I don't like him because he's a murderer. He's a bad man. Yeah, of course. I went to Sonny McClain's when Whitey Bulger was probably just at Sonny McClain's, which is crazy to me.

Wow. Because I know. Oh, yeah. I would have recognized him, I feel like. And then I would have gotten killed. An old man would have killed me probably without a gun he probably would have just beaten me to death the 80 year old man would have beaten me down to death what year like in the tooth and like the like in 2005 i was going there like all the time wow and that's like i feel like in that stretch you that's like prime time yeah do you like do you feel like you've done enough that you've prime time yeah do you like do you feel like

you've done enough that you've enjoyed since then that you're like it's probably good i didn't die in 2005 or uh that'd be a better way to go cooler way to go it would have been a very interesting thing like the it's it's an irishman death you guys would have had right now that's a cool like yeah cool old guy killing you neat that's a cool's a cool death. You would have had, like, Horatio Sands on now instead. You would have had someone who would respect or look up to you. Without you, Horatio Sands would have filled the hole and he'd be here right now. That doesn't make sense.

Horatio Sands would have been doing Doughboys with Weiger. Yeah, Horatio Sands would have been doing Doughboys with Weiger. Huh. He's in The Mandalorian. I don't know. He's the first thing that came to my mind. Yeah. He's in a scene or two. Two scenes.'s yeah he's the fish he's the fish man

he's blue yeah um i don't we should i mean we should talk about the the damn merla sandwich but we also haven't talked to you about theme park stuff in a long time you've been a galaxy wedge now you feel like you're gonna get mad at me though, no. I feel like I've been curious. Oh, I don't know. Because you're going to the park all the time now. There's been a sea change. There's been a sea change. Carlson, how did you come around? Are you?

Jason, I went with you and I went with Carlson to the park. We had a nice time. Yeah, we had a great time. It was like a podcaster summit because Lindsay and Kelly were there. Yeah, Team Creets was there and and we took a picture in the millennium falcon like uh what the waiting room whatever like do they call that the social quarters or whatever i forget the official name but at the table at the chess room and everyone's like wow can't look at this what is this what's coming to fruition to this and we're all like uh

nothing we just went together we could go to it yeah basically we were just having a nice saturday afternoon people thought it was like a traveling wolverines type super podcast group it wasn't stop demanding the collaboration it's not it's well it's happening now i don't know what you so you came around you you've now you probably you had a decent time but now you're like losing i had a decent time here's what i think about galaxy's edge i'm not sure i'm going to disagree with you by the way i think we might be on the same i think my favorite thing about galaxy's edge is the ronto wrap sure yes i think the ronto wrap is delicious i go i go cantina and then ronto rap but yes i turn on the cantina a little bit look

i still think it's one of the better things about that entire park there or section of the park but um i i i don't think it's that great of a i i want now that i go to disney i'm like that is like i don't we were just there mike carlson and i yeah we went to go to Disney, I'm like, that is like, I don't know. We were just there, Mike Carlson and I. Yeah, we went to go to Earl and then we popped in the park for a few hours. And I had no urge to really go over there and do anything. There was nothing I really wanted to see over there. We were just in Disney World and we didn't really go to their Galaxy's Edge because we know it because it's the same and there's other things we want.

We wanted to do things that are only there. Here's my area i first of all the cantina should have aliens in there and when the last time i went in there i've been in there now three times you go up to the counter you stand there and you drink your drinks and like they're and then there's like people behind you and it's crowded unless you get one of those seats which we did yeah jason that was a great day we all sat down in the booth and that was great but like why is there like why are there aliens in there why isn't there more fun happening it doesn't make any sense to me that's the big complaint like as it's starting to age like that that was the stuff cut for cost the equity actors walk around actors people speculating that when rise

of the resistance opens which i think will like uh we are all looking forward to seeing what this massive new ride will be like but like they got to get some actors in there and they i think people are like maybe they'll do some life day stuff and there's a life day mentioned in the mandalorian but nothing for this year at least so just just even walking around the park like the blue first of all the blue milk is like feels like a complete bomb to me it doesn't feel like anyone cares about the blue milk and it was no butter beer it's no butter which is what they wanted to be i feel like right yeah and then like i was walking around the park i saw ray there and i was like i don't know if anyone cares about seeing ray

or if that's even a thing there's no there's no darth Darth. Darth Vader is the guy that you need to have just walking around. I think maybe this calculation of not just putting it in original movies is an odd calculation. I think it's, I think it's a terrible calculator. I think it's so off and like to be like, it's actually in this timeline. It's like, who cares about the timeline?

People go into the theme park. Don't care about the timeline. Cause start right. Chewbacca and, and Admiral Ackbar and shit like that. Just put them them in that land star tours is like all over the place with the timeline yes of course yeah it goes the ultimate proof that nobody gives a fuck we're with new characters prequel characters original characters does not matter nobody actually cares it doesn't matter or show i don't know if somebody cares like well it also ruined like if it's if it was

a real heart like the idea i think in their head was like this is really going to be like a specific part of the larger disney star wars narrative but then they cut all the fun stuff so like if it was truly like a bustling town full of like 30 original characters and droids in the star tours scene that's the main thing they're pushing like there's gonna be 20 droids everywhere you look. You can see it at the end of Star Tours, that little tease for Batuu. Yeah. It's full of droids and aliens, and they're nowhere to be found.

And when that stuff isn't there, it's like the landscape of Galaxy's Edge is just like an old, dusty canyon. Yes. So now I'm in this old, dusty- Vasquez Rocks, an unpleasant place to film. It's an unpleasant place to film it's an unpleasant place it's like and this was another thing with and i said this to you carlson but like they should have done like it should have been like uh oh god now i can't remember the name of

it sky uh the sky cloud city cloud city thank you best spin this if the cloud city like why didn't they make like a cloud city restaurant or something where you like take an elevator i used air quotes there up and then like you think you're in cloud city and you have lunch up there or something like why didn't they and why wasn't there like hoth why couldn't there been like a snowy part of star wars land like like it just feels like they probably think they're gonna do that eventually that's my guess but then also i think there's an over calculator we've seen in the new movies they really are like most things have to be on the desert planet it's which is weird because it's like they must have done a poll where it's like which planet do you know the best from star wars and it

was like tatooine but didn't like completely gauge like do you want to live on tatooine no you're gonna have drinks that's what comes from he leaves tatooine. Like, you get out of town. Everyone leaves. It's his hometown. And I can leave. It's where he wants to, doesn't want to live anymore. Yes. Yeah. So. Yeah. I think if you haven't been, do go.

Yeah. Like, the first one or two times is good. But, like, the revisiting, like, they do need to switch it up. We are so going to get some hate on this. Oh, it's going to be me. It's all right. Take it out on me, all right? You cowards. Take it out on me all right you cowards take it out on me i think people like us who have gone a

lot are starting to notice like i yeah i wish there was some new experience i wish there was something new we got something like yeah we got this big thing on it there's so much coming but i almost like like there's so much pressure on that last movie yeah i liked the mandalorian and i was kind of like i didn't know a lot about it going in and i was like i kind of like i wish they just made more like low pressure tv shows as opposed to these movies they build up so much it's like i kind of this is like a little slower there's a lot of practical stuff there's a lot of cool creatures cool yeah there's more creatures yes some of whom you're like oh yeah those guys i like those guys i'm

glad to see those guys back and like i i kind of um yeah they just build it up so and i'm not expecting them to introduce like new restaurant concepts or new rides immediately or stuff like that but like yeah some new aliens been spotted there's a new character walking around yeah that's pretty simple that guy yeah yeah yeah and also i mean and i was gonna say i agree with you too on mandalorian like there's stuff that annoys me about mandalorian but like that second episode i was like it we said this this is what disney star wars was it was like this level of like episode two of mandalorian where i'm like oh it's like they're walking around and having fun and the jawas are there and he kills

and then like big monster fights kind of weird and fun and yeah like yeah it's like you were saying it's like they barely even talk in that second episode i'm like this is more fun to me than all the disney movies are and like, it's a little endearing to me because he just gets his ass kicked so much in those first two episodes. And then, I mean, it's hard to deny Baby Yoda. Like, who's going to say Baby Yoda is not cute? It's very cute. And then also at the same time is like a thing where I'm like,

Baby Yoda, what is going on here? But then also I do agree that it's very cute. But the big issue with the land is that the ride isn't that good. Yeah. We're feeling it. We're all feeling it. Well, the marquee ride, we got the B ride before the A ride. People don't know that.

People go there and don't know it. The big one's coming. If you pay your money to go there, and that's what you wait for over an hour for, and you get that. I think I just like I wanted to love it so much when we went in and I did. And even like I was probably in my head like Mitch is probably not going to like it. Now I hear.

I enjoy it. Yeah, I think I think you had the same thing, too. I think I think what we're all finding is like good first good like a couple visits. And then you start thinking about, well, what is this ride really? And what is this mission? And what's with the coaxium and the i will say that the ride never really passed my test my test because i also was an engineer the first time i was yeah i was in the third row and i was like the thing with the ride is we want to carlson and i went on star tours on on our Earl of Sandwich Day.

We went on the Haunted Mansion. I had never done the Haunted Mansion, the Jack Skeleton version of Haunted Mansion. Oh, yeah. And we did that. And then, which I also, I don't know if I love it. Sure, sure. And then we did Star Tours and Pirates of the Caribbean. Those are the three rides that we did.

It's a good day. And Star Tours, I was like, I love Star Tours. When we were doing Star Tours, I was like, I love Star Tours. Even with the new stuff, I like Star Tours. Because it's big, memorable. Okay, you probably don't like seeing Glass Jedi stuff, but even like you remember the moment of all the red dust gets over your screen and you got to wipe it off and where are we now? Like there's moments that stand out and you remember the disney movies being and it hurts my soul but i

i i i do and i enjoy star tours still but my thing is is like star tours is how many years old 30 years old or something yeah i mean they obviously updated the new version of it's like what 10 years old now 2011 yeah but but still even even then like why is that ride more exciting than the millennium falcon i think we've pinpointed it's mo it's there's two things moments that are like fun that you remember like when you get stuck and you're on the when you're underwater you get stuck in the thing's mouth when like you get crash on uh jakku yeah uh the guy holds up the sign that fell off here or the yeah the logo the star tours logo that's fun and it's fun he's yelling at you and the guy getting stuck on the windshield

yeah you're tilted in that moment too which is really fun like you're kind of stuck on an angle because you crashed but when they leave it in your hands you make the moments you and maybe strangers you don't know how to fly a complex video game video yeah it's a very video gamey like it looks it looks more video game-y than Star Tours does. Yeah, because it has to be, like, rendered in real time, so they can't get it looking as good probably yet. The technology isn't there. I mean, it looks more video game-y than, like, Death Stranding.

Yes. Death Stranding looks more realistic. Death Stranding does look more realistic. That's a great point. Like, fix that. Don't make it in real time. Make it some bullshit where if you don't pull the fucking, if you don't pull the light speed thing,

then it's a slightly different version, and that's all the thing. It's one thing that changes. It's not like an exact moment or something that you have to be like, we're pushing the buttons, and we're doing the thing. Just make it so that it's already, the outcome is there, and someone can pull the thing to go into light speed and it's fun right new missions they i don't think they know how badly they need the new mission yeah i'm sick of the teases on this they need

to get them in there we don't care about coaxium also we need new stories get rid of the bars in the do you know how there's like the black bars to make it look realistic yeah yeah get rid of them have it just be a big screen what the what the hell is going on here don't you feel like star wars people would go but that's not what the cockpit of the rocket looks like i am a star wars loser and i don't give a shit that it would be they take it out for god's sakes it looks bad i'm restrictive i've got two words for a new mission that i think could satisfy everyone rescue chewbacca wow right that's yeah he's around hondo sends you on a mission chewbacca has been captured by the what is it called in the new movies what is the what are the first order

by the first order um i could not remember legitimately hondo you have to rescue chewbacca i got two words too right yeah jar jar come now are those words to fix the rider there's just words you wanted to say i just want to say jar jar oh no i think this is a mission you get miniaturized you fly up jar jars dick there's a blockage it's like. It's like, it's like that. Oh, it's like a body wars. I don't know when Jar Jar's, you need to fix him so he can ejaculate freely.

Yes. So that he can produce a child. Yeah. You're helping him be able to, so you're like, like he's, it's like unsnipping him. Essentially.

Can I just say this? Can I, can I say that in Mandalorian, if there was a little baby jar jar not jar jar himself but a little uh baby yeah wouldn't that have been pretty good it didn't have to be a yoda if it was just cute like a little cute baby gungan i think there's the first when are we gonna see a gungan finally in these new things i mean in canon is jar jar dead at the end of the prequels no no i don't think so no no he's alive

yeah bring him back for it is he still alive in the disney in the in seven eight nine how do gungans age i don't know i don't know how he's all in question what with yoda i think he's alive he'd be so old he'd be old though he met an as a boy. He was, I think, at least a teen. Old Jar Jar, a little slower, has an eye patch. That's good. Ooh. I love it. And his dick doesn't work.

And his dick doesn't work. Well, that is... Mesa dick don't work. Mesa need... Yous are gonna fix my cum? Sorry, I know this isn't Doughboy, so I shouldn't say cum over and over again. You isn't going to help me nut. Oh, there we go.

That is a word. Yeah, we ran into that. We decided not to censor it when Bugsy was on. Oh, and he said the C word? Yeah. Yeah. Well, our editors only have so many hours. He said the nut?

Like, he said what I said, or he said something else? Well, we've already said cum. Anything and everything. Let's just say cum again. That's bugsy. That's a nefarious figure. This episode is already funny because we're all just so relieved to just take a few minutes to talk about theme park stuff.

Anything else. Anything else. Because the sector keeper is not here. I've been saying over the weekend like uh how like other friends of mine i've been saying like i'm dying to talk about anything but downtown disney yeah like i can't wait whatever the next i don't care what it is any way any stupid the dumbest slow it like give me uh uh what's what's a bad ride any of that shit in dino land usa oh yeah i'll talk about those for two and a half hours i'm going to disney i mean it would be helpful to me i'm going to disney world next week oh no kidding and i

haven't been in like 20 years basically oh wait that's not true 2005 was last time i was so 14 give you some tips yeah yeah we can but if we i told mitch about chicken guy okay okay yeah the sauce squad you have to sign up join the sauce there don't have to be two words like this is it a two word two words our brains have melted so much chicken guy high hope sauce squad uh well it's probably time to start do we need to ask the sector keeper we know what we're doing fuck him he's gonna be mad we're going that's right um this is about the level keeper who we're trying to save by the way he's a character we haven't met yet but we're trying to free him we have to do it by talking about everything he or she and we're trying to free him by he or she

by uh talking about all the interested the very interesting 18 days worth of interesting stuff at downtown disney uh which is why today we're talking about earl of sandwich um i mean i i i think we wanted to have you on as a uh a professional sandwich eater that's right big chain restaurant reviewer um but it's like this i've said this before but if my like dad was brought back to life he'd be like what are you doing i'd be like i like eat sandwiches and food for a living i'd say this to my dad he'd be like oh and then he'd disappear back to wherever the netherworld he could stay but he chooses to leave he chooses to go hey when i saw my kid and just ran out of stuff to talk about it was my he eats subway now for a living and how many episodes about all these how many carlos jr um no really i uh well so this and this is a chain you guys haven't hit early sandwich

sandwich no yeah it's out there there's like 30 of these things and i find this to be like well let me just i'll just say this uh disney announces a new hotel it's going to tell we've covered this with some of the fallen brothers that we talked about not long ago things that they shut down they shut down everything in this area of downtown disney rainforest cafe espn zone amc theaters these massive building gone everything's gone a starbucks is kicked out and earl of sandwich is kicked out this is june 2018 uh-huh and earl of sandwich opened in november 2012 okay i've been there for a while good little run good popular and that's one that opened in 2012 because it feels like it's been there from since like 1960 i'm like this is it you just got to forgive their out-of-date style no no no only since it feels like it's been there since like 1960. Strangely.

I'm like, you just got to forgive their out-of-date style. No, no, no. Only since 2012. And in fact, even more recently than that, because these massive big box locations, once the hotel was canceled, they couldn't come back. They couldn't figure out how to come back. The Rainforest Cafe is like, we'd love to come back.

I don't know if we can. We sold all the furniture. The animals have all been killed and shot. We can't make Rainforest Cafe no more uh the only the starbucks did too but the only the survivor the cockroach of this apocalypse earl of sandwich came crawling back and you know all this mitch that i don't know if mike filled you in that this place was shut down entirely it's possible you forgot some of this information this interesting information that i was no you know i was i know i was october 2018 right reopened october 2018 a few months later did it did it really oh it was oh yeah it was closed it was actually closed down oh i did not reopen yeah yeah october 2018 everything removed all the everything all the furniture the sign

it's all i told you the rainforest was gutted. It just wasn't gutted, so they just reopened it. Wow. Yeah. They just turned the toaster back on. Yep, turned it back on. It's like nothing happened. That's insane. Seemingly raised everything $1 in price.

Oh, perfect. I saw pictures for 2018 to 2019. I was like, oh, that's the only difference. Stuff, I'll say this about earlo sandwich probably the most the cheapest thing in downtown disney like the most affordable like quick lunch but not but also not cheap by any like normal human standards human standards by theme park resort district standards it is very funny that like talking about star wars like that this is like the the outer the outer rim of downtown disney is kind of like a jacku or something where it is it is just like a junk planet where like there's a junked out amc that's empty it's just like the

shell of a rainforest cafe you want to have the habit from a truck? The Habit Burger truck. Wado working at the Habit. That's one quarter portion, please. That's what this is. Earl of Sandwich is basically, what's his name again? That shitty character? The one quarter portion? Yeah. Uncar Plot.

Uncar Plot. Yes. Is that what you were saying? Yeah. Yes. Earl of Sandwich is Uncar Plot. That's what it is. There's nothing else open there.

That's exactly right. If you want to do, if any business exchanges have to run through this creep. That's insane. One hot lettuce sandwich. It's a survivor. It is everything else. Like these giant corporations could not bring their restaurants back and only Earl of Sandwich. And I just think it's why there's only this one today because there's so much to talk about it's so

strange to me that i will i will go ahead and say just from photographs and from and from videos and stuff the sandwiches to me look kind of gross and i think it's weird that this gross looking sandwich place is the one hanger on but i don't i could be wrong you were the guys who went and visited well consumed i'll just also say right off you were the guys who went and visited well consumed i'll just also say right off the bat the thing that's perplexing about this place is that carlson and i we got our sandwiches we went outside to sit down and there were no tables available every single table was taken at girl of sandwich it was and we had we had to sit inside but it was like we weren't there on like a crazy day

or anything like that. No, and the park wasn't so crowded. I mean, this is, I would think, this is like one of the cheapest options. Yeah. Cheapest, best options in the whole resort. Best? Well, by comparison. Mm.

Cheap, I'm tying cheap and best together. That's a quality of best. Yeah. You got gotta take it To the outdoor seating At the Disneyland Hotel Which is what I did The day

Opening day of Galaxy's Edge At some point I was just so wiped out And needed to eat I was like I'll just get a sandwich At a real sandwich

I was And I liked mine I was surprised What do we What do we think? Well We were mixed on it We got quite a

We got three sandwiches We got three sandwiches We got a tuna We got Tuna melt Tuna melt yeah And we got the Holiday turkey sandwich

And now I'm Gabbler What was the last one we got I have a picture of it It was like the Earl's sandwich It was Yeah

The original The club or the original 1762 Original 1762 Yeah That one's pretty simple just roast beef cheddar and horseradish that's right yeah i've had that one before that's all right i've had the chipotle chicken avocado uh i like that one i had to say though i i will say this is one of my quirks i get really weird about hot sandwiches and lettuce like lettuce on a burger i'm okay toasted sandwiches even if they toast it first and then put the lettuce on it gives me the willies

sure uh i don't like yellow mustard on lettuce either i that also something about that makes you're saying if the bread specifically is hot if it if it is sold to me if it's like a burger with all the fixings i'm fine with it if it's sold as like a toasted hot sandwich and an ingredient is lettuce i'm like i don't know onions work hot or cold yeah but lettuce there's something weird about it no it wilts it's disgusting and they put in a pretty giant healthy piece of lettuce sort of like yeah to cause that to shrivel and shrink yeah but should put it on after yeah they do though don't they don't they they i watched video of it being made oh i thought it was before yeah thankfully you watch a video of it being made well i did because i was researching the owner of this establishment but i'll get to that later let's let's talk about

the food okay only some of the sandwiches have the dreaded lettuce. Only a couple of them. I like the dreaded lettuce. The dreaded lettuce. I had a Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich just the other day. I said that I gave up Wendy's and I caved and I got a spicy chicken. For the show, right? Well, yeah.

Yeah, there you go. For your podcast. But it was dreaded lettuce it was uh the the lettuce had been had been had been and it will always get a little bit warm in the sandwich the bun isn't like supposed to be hot in the spicy chicken sandwich but yeah i got some of the dreaded lettuce that you're talking about i think it was uh if like it feels like hair oh i think if you're that spicy chicken sandwich if you're getting the lettuce and tomato you got to eat it quickly if you're just getting a plane yeah you can wait a second it feels like wet hair once it gets to that level it gets like

like sloppy and gooey this hair isn't really sloppy and gooey anyways moving on it's like it sounds like what that big egg that the uh the jaw was yeah the jaw was breaking into in mandalorian that was very funny that they like the mandalorian had like vaporized some of their brothers or sisters and then like he brought them an egg and then they were like yay and they just ate the egg all is forgiven and i still liked it better than any other star wars thing i've seen for a long time of all these like yeah these big complicated stories that make you feel a little confused or just like let down by and then like a man rescues the man gives some creatures an egg yes what a great tale truly it was hooray it's a lot simpler than this whole podcast event we've been doing extremely yes guys it's all the tidiness and storytelling you know

like the downtown disney narratively my goodness um i okay but what's the overall feeling about the quality of the tuna melt here was the issue with the tuna melt is that it was too in between a tuna sandwich and a tuna melt it wasn't bad but it just was like yeah it felt like maybe like a heated up tuna sandwich in some ways more than it felt like an actual tuna melt they needed like there's probably a setting they like they cook everything on or or uh toast everything on and they might need like an extra 30 seconds for that one yeah i agree with that sandwich and like the yeah because like the cheese was just kind of like falling out of it remember it was yes it wasn't terrible no the original was good it was heavy on the horseradish um signature sandwich worthy that's what i said question mark

i don't know like like you question that being the one that they push yeah i mean like was is that the one that kind of blows us all away i don't know i guess yeah they're because if they have the branding on it that's sort of yeah like this is the thing you should get yeah uh yeah that was probably my least favorite i think of the three and i kind of pushed that one because it was the original yeah it made sense to get it yeah and then the thanksgiving on a bun or whatever they call it the gobbler i'm with you jason that it's called the gobbler yeah uh get the hell out of here if you're saying something else it should be it's just the gobbler holiday turkey sandwich isn't a better name to you gobbler's fun yeah it's

what we call the wawa outside philadelphia there they make gobblers yeah name to you gobbler's fun yeah it's what we call the wawa outside philadelphia there they make gobblers yeah it's fun gobbler northeast i know you guys call gobblers we call gobblers this phrase isn't copyrighted they could have used it and they didn't it is fun it's a thing a turkey actually says he says gobble he does say gobble he does say gobble he called the gobbler yeah it doesn't save him from the killing. Only our president can do that. That's what he's doing? Only our president. What if, man, this is a way to turn Trump into the biggest villain.

He doesn't pardon the turkey? No, he pardons every turkey. Oh, wow. So nobody gets turkey in the city? So no one gets turkey for Thanksgiving. You all walk into your Thanksgiving and there's a big fast food buffet like when you entertain sports teams. Hell, and probably there's a fucking turkey walking around your house because there's

so many. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He let them all free and they're just in our backyards and bothering our kids and pets. My mom does get wild turkey sometimes by our house and it does look like an alien is just walking my mom too yeah they're and they're they're kind of scary and they're a little mean yeah they're like they're like very much like velociraptors they talk about that in jurassic park at the end of jurassic park if you remember he looks out the helicopter window and he sees

turkeys walking on the ground and he says like that's what they evolved into. Do you remember this moment in the movie? In the first Jurassic Park? In the first Jurassic Park. It's the very last scene we're talking. It's the very last scene. He looks out the window and there's a little crew of turkeys walking outside Jason's mom's house. That's right. It fades to black. Well, because most people shut it off. It says

directed by Steven Spielberg and then it comes back so this can happen. But don't turn the movie jason's mom is waving at the camera saying hi jason which must have been a thrill for you in 1990 it was the 90s we were all freaking out uh but they're scared no i agree with you they're a scary uh they're a scary little animal yeah yeah well earl sandwich is doing their part yeah they tell them off uh what do we think of the gobbler it was good i like the gobbler yeah i think i like i even if a tuna melt's okay i like a tuna melt maybe the best

but i think the gobbler was good everything tasted good i mean it tasted like a okay thanksgiving and i don't mean that in a bad way yeah okay thanksgiving that's not funny fine again fine as we began this podcast series we knew we were saying the word fine a lot. I will say, like, fine for when I say, like, La Brea Bakery is fine. I will say, like, Earl of Sandwich is fine plus. Oh. This bums me out because it makes me feel like there's been Thanksgivings where we're like, that was a fine Thanksgiving. And it sounds like a bummer.

It sounds like a bad Thanksgiving. I mean, look, you're not going to have home runs every Thanksgiving. That's true. I think the whole endeavor is fine. I'm not. I've never liked Thanksgiving. What a fucking awesome Thanksgiving. I've never been that into Thanksgiving.

I'll be honest. It was never one of my family's favorites. The food's not my favorite area of food. Ooh, I like the food. I disagree on this. I like the food quite a bit. It's a bummer when you get a bad Thanksgiving. Sure.

I mean, like, I guess Thanksgiving is, like, so family heavy. Like, you have to go and see, like, family and stuff. It's probably just baked in as a child, like, as a child brain thing of, like, yeah, there's going to be a lot of, like, seeing everybody and feeling, like, pressure. And then, like, I like food okay. There's no presents. No presents and you know Christmas is coming. You can feel it.

Yeah. So, there's probably, it's probably all that. Yeah. That's not as fun yeah but i don't hate it i think it's christmas minus oh that's good i see that's right and fine plus fine plus i like just as far as like holiday characters go i'm gonna be on my own here. But the Thanksgiving turkey comes in at number one and Santa's number two, just in my mind. Whoa. That's the Thanksgiving turkey is one. Is he threatening you? No.

Is that turkey threatening you? Jason, no. Bitch, you're crying. It's fine. Okay. When I said that they come to my mom's house, they don't threaten my mom. They don't. Everything's fine.

I think those gobbles meant tell your son on his podcast or any other podcast. When I said that they come to my mom's house, they don't threaten my mom. They don't. Everything's fine. I think those gobbles meant tell your son on his podcast or any other podcast. My mom FaceTimes me has just turkey claw marks on her neck. They all pilot a car from mom. What are they doing to you? Those turkeys are hurting you, mom. The turkey wearing like a pilgrim hat and a scarf or something is that the thanksgiving turkey officially remember there actually used to be like my mom would put up like in the way that like do people still do this they still do this

like at halloween that you would have the stuff that you put on you just tape it to your windows that were like a cat coming out of a pumpkin just to decorate like the classic decorations yeah at thanksgiving we did have like a turkey one where you just to decorate like the classic decorations yeah at thanksgiving we did have like a turkey one where you just put it on the window where i feel like people i think that's like a thing of the 80s and 90s that no one no one's putting up thanksgiving decorations as much anymore right probably not because we'd have pilgrims and native americans yes that would be like a little yeah the cartoon with like the brads that would make their arms move yes that's what you're talking about yes we had those it's a very brad heavy holiday well the 80s were also brads

brad fever was sweeping the nation so flexible uh yeah yeah i think that that there's not as many hollow like thanksgiving direct uh decorations but i don't know maybe if we went back to the midwest they're still there they could be that's a good yeah or yeah who knows they it's still the 80s in the old midwest still brad fever out there 80s uh we were talking about this as we were leaving the real test i think because toasting makes things better it just does it covers up imperfections it covers up maybe cheaper ingredients we were saying that that once once subway started toasting i was like i guess subway is like not that bad just because they they toasted all this like the shitty taste was slightly toasted out of it

sure sure yes yeah yeah do we duck jersey mike's because they don't toast well jersey mike's is good i think the quality is already there so you don't need to toast. And Mike's Way is their version of toasting. Sure. Mike's Way. Yeah, if there's any like blandness to what's inherently there, Mike's Way covers it up. Yeah.

So we realized after we were leaving what we should have done is asked if we could get one sandwich untoasted to really see. I mean, they do have wraps and salads. You can have something cold. But the true test, yeah, the true test of like the

ingredients is the untoasted sandwich here's what i realized i didn't know this since i was reading online they do french bread pizza no curious about that i'm sure it's fine it's fine did you have brownies or cookies like they're one of the places that have them like stacked up at the register yeah i've had brownies i was sure I've had brownies. Are you sure? My mom let me. I wanted to get ahead of it before there was a rumor started. Store bought, cafe bought,

or restaurant bought brownies. I find very dicey proposition. I find stale very quickly. Okay, if you're going to dump a bunch of ice cream on top of it and then it gets moist because it soaks up the ice cream, but if you're just eating that alone,

it could be a bummer. Yeah. i agree with that i are these sandwiches too uh they're so bready like you look it's like very thick it's a lot of bread and it's not like extra special bread on the way out that i said i said i don't want to ruin i don't want to ruin this and tell you before we do the podcast mike but i said we said, we got to talk about that bread. What's the deal with the... Is the bread that good? I don't know if the bread is that good. Yeah.

And I feel like it's a place that's like, our bread is good. Yeah. And the bread is just kind of like, it's just okay. It's not... That's a lot of it to be the main feature. It's not a... To take up so much height. Yes.

It's not a, you can't sit anywhere here on a random day in downtown disney yeah yeah that may just be it it may be the price point and it may be just like lack of quick options in general yep i encountered the same they have this in disneyland paris in the horrible mall outside disneyland paris and i went in there just to get a banana because it was the only like piece of like fresh food anywhere on that property but it like smelled bad in there and the same thing like just like yeah like lying out the door jam at every table every restaurant at this paris mall was like that uh just some just a mcdonald's i mean i hated that place so much but the uh but you know paris? Disneyland Paris itself?

I mean, I don't have the best things to say about Disneyland Paris in general. But the shopping center outside is just the most nightmare. I think it's one of the things that got me thinking about Earl of Sandwich. Like, it's here, too? You're fucking kidding me. Yeah. This virus is spread. This is what you guys seem to be saying is is like fine fine plus yeah fine plus and in the context of disney it's like if you can make it over there it's a good option what um

because yeah because it's like you'd rather have that than maybe like the food at the tomorrowland terrace yeah i don't know you don't think so but tangaroa terrace at disneyland hotel miles better. Yeah, sure. But I think maybe you'd call that something different. Because would you even, you just kind of sit down for that. Like, quick service. Oh, you think quick service, are you calling quick service different than this?

I think quick service is different than Tangaroa Terrace. Certainly better. Oh, well, it's all kind of mushed together. But I'm including the quick service at Tang... That was... I don't know what they call it. Yeah, but no question better. A little more, but in this case, a better step up.

But Earl of Sandwich, that said, is better than Tomorrowland Terrace. Yes. Mike's not sure. I'm not sure. I think I would just rather eat any old shit in the park than I would... Really? Huh? Yeah. Because you're there already. You're there. I don't know. You're there, you're eat any old shit in the park than I would. Really?

Yeah. Because you're there already. You're there. I don't know. You're there. You're happy. You're having fun snacks. You're happy. You know that I like pizza port. Yeah, that's true. We've been wanting to talk to you about pizza port. That's another episode, though. I went to a doctor. I tried to get a pizza port put on my body so they could just feed pizza right

through a port. Beam it in. Dear God, what a hacky loser I am. No, I liked it. I like it too. I find that inexplicable. We've talked about this. I think Pizza Port is wretched.

I like Pizza Port quite a bit. It's just such a theme park-y, big slice of cheese pizza. I don't know. I'm having fun. I like the idea of that, but that price is not up and up and up, and the quality is going down and down. See, but I just think of theme park. I mean, those sandwiches were not cheap.

They were like, what, $14 or something? Not each. No, no. Are they $9? $8.99. $8.99. Nine bucks? Okay, that's not that big.

I round that to nine. Sure. Call me crazy. It was $9 each? No, actually, that's not a bad deal. Fuck. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot it's a theme park yeah again

i am remembering discount we also have an annual passholder discount so then you do get 40 cents off 40 validated sounds like you bought 20 worth of food yeah we would have if we had been parked in pixar pals yeah yeah that is funny that like the most people who go through downtown Disney are parking in the theme park parking. They're not parking in downtown Disney at all. They were parking in the theme park parking as opposed to like CityWalk where it's all just one parking mass. Oh, I see what you're saying.

But there's, are there any, I couldn't even imagine that going to like the movie, like going to the AMC theater just because, like, you lived in Anaheim or something. I could go anywhere else. It's such a pain to get in and out of there. Yeah. I imagine using that as your base theater, yeah. I am having, I had a very specific memory

when I started researching this of right after Earl of Sandwich opens, Mike, you picked me up at the airport and you plugged your phone into your car speaker or whatever and you're like listen to this you got to hear this like it's like a new single came out it was just some theme park podcast and it was a guy just really worried about like i don't know about these picnic tables at earl of sandwich benches i think specifically yeah specifically the benches but like you picked me up and it was like it was like the the vibe of the back to the future like

you know that sound you've been looking for you gotta hear and when he's playing is just someone going like these benches are going to get very hot in the summer it doesn't seem like there's enough of them and this is years before we did the show two years before and i'm like nodding along like yeah you're right good call mike yeah this is the king of the point and the smirk like huh yeah that's not being satisfying in the least yeah that's true the underwhelming point and smile that's what the point and smile is well but i think that's why you're smiling you're like i know it's gonna be sort of a nothing yes i was yeah i just i just told you about uh joe pesci's uh new single with

adam levine that's a point and smile oh yeah you really built up and you wait till you hear who the duet is wait to hear joe pesci's duet great time pumping that on the five you know joe pesci has a new album coming out but he sings two songs with adam levine what in the world well don't you think that's weird that's weird yeah that's weird. Yeah, that's a novelty. That's not the theme park podcast about the benches. It's a weird pairing, but Adam Levine is like everywhere, always, all the time. But Joe Pesci?

It would make more sense that he was like singing with Joe Piscopo or something. Yeah. Certainly, yes. Have you seen The Irishman? Not yet. Oh, I saw it. The reveal of The Irishman is that

The Irishman is Adam Levine. Oh, it makes a lot of sense now it's not as funny honestly knowing that but he's fucking ripped dude yeah so jacked uh uh well okay if we're wondering why this place persists and why it does not go away even and why it came back from the dead entirely i think you have to credit a guy who i would call the comeback kid he's got so much fighting spirit he's a guy who who uh brought planet hollywood back from bankruptcy twice uh that is a brand that like wanted to die was on its way to death and he kept fighting and he it he hung in there. And he is one of the people who Earl of Sandwich is named after, and that is the owner, Robert Earl.

Robert Earl is the owner of Planet Hollywood, Buca di Beppo, and Chicken Guy, which we have discussed earlier and discussed very much in the live episode. A woo from Jason. A single woo. Chicken Guy, a uh new restaurant endeavor with guy fieri that's right yeah and good things shockingly affordable cheaper better than our sandwich wow cheaper than our sandwich wow yeah uh and this man now robert earl has finally met his uh flashy shirt match what What would Guy Fieri?

Yes, that's true. I feel like it's a match made in heaven. And restaurants aren't his only endeavors. He, of course, a producer on a film we all know and love, 2015's Wild Card, starring Jason Statham. Of course. Yes. So he fronts the money for some quality Hollywood entertainment.

Also, The Expendables. And yeah, he's a co-producer. Also the Expendables? And yeah he's a co-producer of all the Expendables movies. Oh because of his boy his boy's in it. Arnold's because he goes back or Arnold and Stallone and Sly he goes back now he's not the only owner of

Earl of Sandwich because Earl of Sandwich is also invested in by a literal Earl of Sandwich the man of sandwich is also invested in by a literal earl of sandwich the man's name is john montague and he is related to the original earl of sandwich who's credited with inventing the sandwich entirely yes do you have the stats on that uh no i have it here from the morning joe interview with him and robert earl 1976 is the first sandwich recorded as being eaten in london no 1976 1762 sorry sorry whoa i said the wrong thing damn 1762 sorry yeah that's true i was gonna say there were no

sandwiches it says it right here it's on 1976 i literally my eyes are failing me i have to say that is some very good like british empire like storytelling stuff because yesterland pointed out and other people have pointed out people have sticking been sticking meat in bread the world over for centuries if not millennia yeah yeah and they try to claim it right do you let me ask you this jason would you celebrate that date or a year now that you know it now that i know like it's a like like that you know which day were you celebrating the sandwiches invention in general uh every day okay i love this i love a sandwich i love a sandwich too yes certainly and this guy the one of the co-owners of this is like it's my family we did the ear The Earl of Sandwich is a guy who said, like, I'm too busy. Or there's several stories.

Either he's busy with paperwork and government, or he's playing a card game and just put meat between bread and bring it to me. Right. And then the other people gambling or doing business with him are like oh very good i'll have the same as sandwich here and then a sandwich show and then so it got deemed or they coined that phrase after his jurisdiction and that's the tale and trickle down to the hoi polloi trickle down from the upper crust to the lower crust oh yeah sure sure uh uh yeah they passed it on to us very kindly. The Earl of Sandwich is an odd fella.

He's up on your screen right now. Yes, he looks great. He doesn't at all look like the painting that ages in an addict while someone else stays young. Like a strange Johnny Depp prosthetics character. I have good news, though. In this series, I googled John Montague plus Jeffrey Epstein and got no results.

Oh, thank goodness. Important to do with any royal these days. But is a British title Landy's in the House of Lords? You know. There's got to be some. Friend of Prince Andrew. He's got to know Prince Andrew atords uh you know there's gotta be some prince he's gotta be some sex plane involved it's just not jeffrey i'd say we need to put the british royalty all on an island somewhere surrounded by water separated from everyone else but they are already that you're recommending there's just a lot of bystanders there's a lot of working bystanders um but the the real driving force behind this is uh is is a brit i'm very fond of robert earl and

please you know feel free to interrupt and interject so i don't make this just a history lesson but okay you've been building up to this for a while no this is all you i know okay okay deep breath uh i'm just i'm so excited about about robert earl uh and i i i he really got on my radar because i was thinking about i was thinking about planet hollywood i think having come from the planet hollywood in paris and just going like what is up with like why aren't why why are there still planet hollywoods around what's the deal with this place and i i started googling him and uh i found a youtube series and the series is called Robert Earle's Be My Guest. In this, you meet this man, you get a sense of him.

Basically, he sounds a lot like Robin Leitch. He's a very, just like, you know, like a very foppy, waving his arms around, excitable British man. If there's other people in the frame he is the one talking guaranteed he wears really loud silk shirts it's all very mike love-esque uh and he flaps his arms a lot and he hosts a show uh that seems to have aired on some like the cooking channel or somewhere but now it's on a youtube channel videos that have like 300 views and i am the 301st uh and here's the premise of be my guest uh robert earl takes you to restaurants that he usually happens to be the owner of uh he gathers up a bunch of guests to join him come be my guest he orders food for them he just points and says you'll have a pizza

and then leaves goes back to the kitchen where he makes the food he's like helping do it and putting his finger in the food and licking his like and he'll tell the cook look over there and then he'll like sneak a little like hit of ricotta um and then like and then he makes the cook say like i did it better than you didn't die yes of course mr earl he is yeah i knew it and then he comes out delivers the food proudly says and i made it chef robert made the food and then he gives the food to his guests and then just starts eating it himself as well he just starts grabbing like he'll just put like put his hands in the pasta he He'll just grab a meatball. He'll, like, there's one I watched about the Earl of Sandwich, and he makes food for construction workers,

for a group of construction workers, and one of them just has a half-eaten sandwich, and he just grabs it and just starts eating it. And he even will say, like, let's share this, and then grabs it, which sharing, I feel like, is the person with the food is supposed to make the traditionally yeah they bring up the sharing process uh but so he's respected by blue collar guys i like him now well let me are we sure of that well they're sandwiches it sounds like

watch this like you've thrown this on a tv before. Yeah, yeah. Well, so let's find out. You can judge with me, do the blue-collar people like him or not. Here is a scene from Robert Earles, Be My Guest. I'm going off into Orlando to find some construction workers. And I'm going to grab them and bring them in to have some lunch. I'm going to grab them. Good afternoon, guys. Good afternoon, construction

workers. He did do that. How do you feel about coming over to the Earl of Sandwich and having a great lunch with me? Sucks. Oh, man. They don't like him at all. Let's go.

How would you feel about having a wonderful sandwich with me? Sounds good. Be more enthusiastic. He's just like, he bought you. Be louder. You laugh. You smile.

Construction worker. Put your hat on backwards. He truly never learned their names either. No. You three construction workers. That's who you are from here on out you blue collars you he he's much more so you know did that air somewhere do we know or was that just like a pilot that they were throwing online because all we we've we've come

across this before all of these rich guys want to have their own show they all want to be mark cuban or something they all want to have some show where they do things. And I think sometimes they just say like, okay, get a crew there, make the show. They'll never know. They'll never check. Right. As far as he knows, he has a show. Right. He may not have checked, but they were like, you know, the ratings just came in and they're

great. Oh, wonderful. They're better than Saturday Night Live and Peaks or Doochie. Oh, Peaks or Doochie. We beat Salt Doochie. We beat Salt Doochie. or duchy i mean he had this show on the cooking channel which is a very odd endeavor to begin with because it's not the food network but it's owned by the food that was on cooking channel or yeah it's related wait yes the cooking so the cooking channel is a thing that it's a digital

channel and it is owned by the food network and it is a thing that you when you are in a hotel or you get digital cable and you're like oh what are these extra channel you're like what the fuck is the cooking channel oh yeah and like that's with some very there's some very odd stuff on there this or like man poignant construction workers you're my friends now he's lift a beam for me that i'm interested in that show because he does seem more energetic than he does on all the interviews i watched he's like kind of sedated on the interview like morning joe and there's one on ktla when he's making this poor woman worker do you watch that too yes he's always like and she does all the work and he points to the

like this poor employee that's gonna have to make a sandwich live on ktla and he's got his arm around her too much uh this is another point yes okay uh in every bit of foot and i've watched several at least clips uh many episodes of our girls be our guest he always has his arm around everyone he's always just grabbing for the food and he just has his arm around everyone he's ever talking to. And that includes the men, I will say, out of fairness. But it also certainly includes the women. Let me just, like, you're right on the news. That's the deal.

And then here's another clip I took. Here, just watch this interaction. Hang on. My absolute favorite. Dear God. General manager. Sarah, hi. Ugh. Okay, we've got our order from these

construction workers. These construction workers. They want me to put my hand on the small of your back and leave it there. They don't trust you to make it. I have to watch you and keep you in arm's length.

And that segment is a minute and a half long and his arm is around her the entire time she goes all the way down the sandwich line and it never moves but it's also true when he's uh in the buca di beppo kitchen in a different he owns buca di beppo he's in the buca di beppo kitchen with a guy who's been his chef for a long time. Sort of a portly fella. And he roasts this man a little bit. And so things happen with the guys too. Here we go. You're so artistic, Dave.

I think that's why you hired me 26 years ago. You're a 100-pound lifter. That's why all my profit has gone. That's not fun. No. And then he taps his tummy. That's why all my profit has gone to your belly oh my god this guy's awful he's okay well i was thinking that we might need to try uh this might not get me

out of what you just said everything that we need to use the word allegedly because maybe i'll throw that in he's awful allegedly he clears us legally that's the magic word looks like the older version of do you guys know wyatt coke he's the son of one of the coke brothers oh man he designed very expensive very garish shirts for oh i do know him yeah this video was going around a while back with him like talking about he's the coke member or the member of the coke family who does the least bit of ill in the world so it's like he's just a rich fail son who just designs expensive shirts hey good for him he just does aesthetic ills yes he does aesthetic kills but he he got robert deva in the video robert earl like and there feels like

there's a straight line i wonder robert might buy some of those shirts robert has probably bought my good friend mr coke i'm not a great shirt can you be a fail son my question is can i be am i a fail son no you are doing well no you're saying you can you be a fail son without being like a millionaire like yes can you be a fail without being a millionaire i i think you can but i think especially the the idle children of the rich who have like businesses that like i don't know that that shirt company makes a profit like just a madman and like i yes this pattern and it's like well the shirt body will be parrots but then the cuffs will be little umbrellas and it's just like this is what that doesn't go together and you know he leaves the factory and

like okay make it happen now off to play off to south beach people have to figure out like okay how many threads does he want i don't know just figure just yeah just give yourself a raise he's not paying attention he doesn't care this company we have a billion dollars this shirt this company that's supposed to make 500 shirts this year yes i have a million a billion dollars to play with uh um i'm gonna say a little more too and again don't let me just make this a dry history lesson but as we say fail sons uh there's a lot of fail sons involved in the the backstory of of robert l he himself i don't i mean he's not a fail in any way. No. He's an extremely successful man. But there's a lot of great sons involved.

We have to go back to the story of Hard Rock Cafe, and it's always great to do so. Okay. Hard Rock Cafe was started by Peter Morton, and Peter Morton's dad founded Morton's Steakhouse. And his son is the founder of Pink Taco, one of the most hellishly named things ever in the world. I hate Pink Taco so much. I found it at Closed in Century City.

Closed? The Sunset Boulevard one is closed or is it still open? Is it too? I don't know. I don't know. God, I hope it's closed. Fingers crossed. What a horrible name. Oh, and wait, I should also say, with Morton Steakhouse, is still open is it too i don't know i don't know god i hope it's closed fingers crossed what a what a horrible name uh uh oh and oh wait i should also say with morton steakhouse uh so yeah the the the founder of our cafe's dad founded morton steakhouse but now it is owned by tilman for tita mr shut up and listen himself yes because it's in the landry restaurant group and it is

like good it is like a nice place with good service oh yeah but that's his dad that's not him peter morton is hard rock cafe which we've all uh done to mixed results r.i.p hard rock cafe uh city walk city walk uh it's leaving us oh no confirmed confirmed it's pretty confirmed what's taking over the toothsome chocolate factory that's in orlando the willy wonka ripoff i don't know if it's fully confirmed but i have seen it in enough sources where i generally would believe it but it's not just where the people murmur about the tables outside of no no they i would never i need anything work up there i mean like margaritaville just opened and

that feels like it's yeah people have said that's not doing well uh the movie theater does well uh and all those nightclubs closing and since we did our series the city walk saga last year like nine things a reckoning a lot of clothes people are saying though that it actually might not be as much about uh stuff not doing well and more about universal wants to own everything up there universal owns two some they own ilvino yeah so they're replacing everything with stuff that universal comcast owns okay so that might be more about it because i think hard rock is usually still busy yeah hard rock is is one of the good spots to grab a drink or something before you go see a movie or yeah um it's weird that it's closing. It is weird. Maybe that is. Maybe they are chasing them out of town. Well, but there's one on Hollywood Boulevard,

so they at least have something in the area. Oh, I know. That was our Dope Boys. That was awful. That certainly was. Oh, man. I mean, anytime you're going to Hollywood Boulevard, you never want to go there.

Yeah. No, for any... Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, a worldwide franchise, I mean, it is... I think we can say Hard hard rock is successful oh yeah certainly yeah i would say that if downtown disney like we were on the outer edges if you kept

extending downtown disney it would turn into hollywood boulevard it's basically that's like it's starting to get like where we are like girl of sandwich area if you like kept going further it would turn into hollywood boulevard based on shittiness and now there's and there's like weird grifters and dirty there's weird yes john travolta's the fanatic there's bad bothering people there's bad mickey mouse costume people walking around how did this happen um okay so but yeah hard rock cafe is uh successful but not very good it was started by okay this guy peter morton and isaac tigrit i was talking about him the other day he's the guy who's like the blue

the blues he started out as the blues and like the blues are you know really the hub of the blues is uh harvard it's got to be harvard and danny ackroyd um so uh these are the two guys who found this both like old money uh. They hate each other. It's a bitter divorce that goes on for six years or so. Like, we got to get Tigard out of here. He sells his shares, his side of Hard Rock Cafe to Robert Earl. Robert Earl has been a sort of successful restaurateur. Mike, I feel like you might be aware of his British food, his British chain restaurants.

Did I see that on your computer? Well, there's a lot of them. Tell me the one you're, because I have so many texts on here. I was thinking about Shakespeare Tavern. Oh, well, yeah, but that's the one that turned into a different one. Oh, I don't know. What do you have? Okay, because there's so many.

He had different. Pagan Whistle, Lord and Ladies, The Crumpets, Muffin. Okay, so his first yeah in april of 83 his first one was on church street oh okay church and it was shakespeare's it was just called shakespeare's and then that was eventually changed into king henry's feast which was a medieval times style restaurant which is this picture here uh you can see it okay uh but it was a medieval times like dinner and a show oh so he had a whole like he he was doing a lot he was experimenting is what i'm trying to say yeah i imagine not i'm not just gonna start

one british chain restaurant i'm gonna start like five yes the walk-around character is just talking about their gout like oh my feet the favorite change my dressing i don't relate to that too much he's talked about how he was building an empire in orlando he had wild bills wild west show and mardi gras royal orleans oh my god caruso's at international drive and baby nova which was next to the villa nova uh and eventually all these places closed uh except for park plaza gardens which is one i didn't even mention so he was building all these separate restaurants at the time right right uh to try to take a hold of orlando which he saw as it was about to explode because of disney world and

everything sure enough and he's very very smart about it it's the next big there's going to be so many construction workers building new restaurants everywhere so uh so he's trying to become a theme restaurant titan right so he buys shares of the best so that he can launch his biggest attack because i think he's already got the kernel of like i need to do the biggest and the best and i need to learn from the biggest yeah i have a quote from him in 1988 he set his sights on a small music themed chain of restaurants that was based in london at seven locations it was called hard rock cafe i fell in love with it says earl and thought i could grow it both in profitability and size and managed to do that wow so he did he doubled it yeah he loved in love eric clapton's guitar you know what's crazy is that i went to london when i was in

second grade or when i was like eight years old. And I think we did go, like Hard Rock Cafe was viewed differently at one point where it wasn't like, it was like, oh, a cool place to go. Yeah. Yeah. Like a complete trash dump. Yeah. In London. Yeah.

It was cool when it opened. Yeah. It actually had a cool air about it. Because there was nowhere to get a real American burger or real American barbecue. Yeah. What was the, yeah the yeah the corporate history says like we're bank we're banker and uh bread maker can break bread together and oh they're awful these people are all horrible so uh uh anyway so robert earl and i'll say this again allegedly from a lawsuit that happened allegedly he is like i'm gonna all right, I will grow a hard rock cafe and then I will take everything that I learned and I will bring it to my own restaurant,

which he did eventually with planet Hollywood with a guy, Keith Barish, whose son later started black tap burgers. And this is where all of the restaurants we've been talking about all tie together. So he's like a weird little like agent within hard rock cafe learning everything he can and even dissuading them from doing things they want to do they really want to expand in las vegas and he's like vegas is trashy it's a bunch of it's commercial crap there don't go to vegas i don't approve and

then of course planet hollywood is all over vega he was like trying to chase him out of town right essentially like planting the seeds wasn't there a casino was there a planet still is oh there's still a hotel well there's a hotel but she was the owner of that story is tragic because it was the aladdin right and america just said we gotta get racist like after 9-11 that the aladdin even though like it people's perception was like well we don't want to go there really that's why they had their yes that is why it doesn't matter it doesn't matter people were so so many people were so freaked out after 9-11 they're like well we can't go to the middle eastern casino so they rebranded they were losing a lot of money that's So they rebranded it. They were losing a lot of money. Then they rebranded it to the Planet Hollywood Casino, which is funny because the Planet Hollywood restaurant

is across the street at Caesars. It's at another place. It's at another place. That's insane. A magic carpet didn't fly into the towers. Yeah. I'm not proud of this, but on September 12th, I was in Disney and Aladdin came out.

And I was like, get him out of here! And I chased him off. I feel really bad about it now. You chased him out. He shoved his pants over his head. You led a charge of other racist children. Racist children. But that's why there's still, the buffet there is still called the Spice Road or something.

It still has like the lingering name from the casino. And of course, you know, you can find in the Pine Hollow Casino an Earl of Sandwich. Of course. Yep, of course. Why would you not? He is so, unless you're getting into this. You don't want to stop gambling, bring me something between friends so I can keep playing Keno. The origins, yes.

He bought it. He bought the casino, he bought it he bought the casino but then he has sold the casino since okay i believe so yeah it's to harris because there's only a couple different uh mgm harris and then like steve winn so like about i think it was already like in 2010 he sold he still gets like a licensing right for the name oh but he does money from it yeah part of it now i just watched casino yesterday and i gotta do it yeah most irishmen oh yeah i've never actually finished them i gotta watch you never seen casino yeah i haven't finished wow that's stupid i need it's really good you gotta do you saw the irishman or no yeah yeah i love it i saw yeah it's great that's great pesci uh hasn't missed a beat oh he's so good he was so good at that he's so good yeah i also it's sad

because i because there's aging technology i don't know what how old pesci looks like right now i'm not sure how old he looks yeah yeah we're like the same thing with deniro i'm like is deniro like as old as he is at the end of the movie now or is he like what level of old is he i have no idea they make him look pretty bad they make him look pretty shitty i hope he isn't what he is at the end yeah i hope god i hope he isn't for a long time yeah she's wonderful um pacino is so funny that like he seems like he is having so much fun oh he's great he's so good at that pacino's yelling you're happy sure you're having plus and uh and adam levine is really

like oh my god the aging technology he still looks really good he looks better older even he's still got those beautiful eyes um and when he's like a little baby too they go like they show them when they're like babies baby yoda he's baby yoda-esque oh that's right no the baby's him i didn't put that together yeah Yeah, yeah, when they find... Baby Adam Levine made a play for control of the Teamsters. I've heard that the Mandalorian uses the Irishman technology. They actually have the Yoda puppet. Oh, yeah.

And they use that technology to make him look like Baby Yoda. Nice. And his face. Okay, so all this to say, I just find it funny that he's like he's like waiting and then he strikes and like i have my own restaurant idea and i'm gonna use everything i learned and then morton who hated him from day one sues him for 1.5 billion dollars stallone's part of the suit schwarzenegger's part of the suit and they're bitterly exchanging words all over the trades the stock price is plummeting it's a big like they go to they do turf wars like they're moving to toronto well we're going to toronto too we're going to chase them out of town bitter rivalry

between these two uh uh but and while hard rock hard rock probably won ultimately because there's so many more of those earl escaped you know scott free and the suit was dismissed so he didn't uh uh r rock didn't successfully sue but there's one thing and here's what here's what i've been getting to uh he also he was a thorn in the side of morton the owner because he suggested a lot of ideas that they didn't want to do probably like just like you guys come to my restaurant he's like tossing out ideas left and right and one of his ideas and he's he was excited enough about this to talk to new york magazine about it one an idea to keep the restaurant fresh is a cartoon called the hard rock rascals oh i did not see this oh boy and the plot of hard

rock rascals would be janice joplin elvis presley wow john lennon and jimmy hendrix or at least characters based on them uh discover an old jukebox that transports them to rockopolis and teaches them about the origins of music wow kicks ass how did we not get that dear lord wow that is the 90 that is the perfect 90s artifact that doesn't exist is this idea still up for grabs can we get

if they didn't make it well I think isn't there an Elvis cartoon like coming out yes something coming there's a Netflix

Elvis cartoon yes but that's not gonna be this cause that doesn't have Joplin why are they rascals why are they hard rock rascals are they little kids I think what this is yeah I think it's like little rascals i think what this is this is muppet babies but it's a muppet babies of john lennon yeah they were all friends somehow in different areas

who learn about rock from a jukebox even though they had to be born before rock and roll like a horny Elvis baby That's insane There's a little colonel baby Thank you very much He dates like an angel That's not even born yet Oh no He dates a priest

A soul that hasn't made it into a body yet She's negative three Oh my god What in the world I don't know how i feel about that rascal elvis this is a bit dicey this is hacky of me but i can't help but think about it yes of what it was like it must have been terrifying to have arnold schwarzenegger and stallone yelling at you like to have both of those guys mad at you. Yeah.

And be like, like, just like screaming at you. I don't know what you want. Just like screaming at you about the restaurant. Must've been terrifying. They're both strong guys. Yeah.

And you're just like, no, I want to do it my way. Like he was just being like a little shit. Not to them. No, they're his buddies. Oh,

those are his buddies. Okay. Still, he's producing expendables for them oh so they we get along great they're buff like construction workers it's possible they've had beefs but they were yelling at the mortons who who were they who were who was this guy is an enemy of morton who runs a hard rock cafe and suggest which should be a cartoon it's hard rock rascals he is he was right i think he was right we're how look how delighted we are all by this idea we would have already done a couple episodes about this if it existed so yeah yeah i mean that could be future podcasts is just doing radio plays of hard rock rascals are there scripts like you know there's all those star wars scripts george lucas commissioned but they never made for the tv show are there is our full season of hard rock rascal there will be there can be all you need is a little bit of imagination a little bit of will and final draft you know

that's true but the dream i'd rather have the earl you know written one little spot if he was writing them well at least at least having them oversee Like George Lucas I'm Jimi Hendrix He's doing the voices Oh that's even better I think Planet Hollywood really Purple Haze running through my bottle Imagine all the people

Pooping in their diapers Take another little poop from my diaper Baby diapers we gotta get him take another little poop from my diaper baby it's a British man voicing a baby Janis Joplin yeah come to my birthday party I'm having it at the

kids zone called Ultimant I had some great security my memory of childhood wait no no you're about to do it yeah yeah me and bubba mcgee the black bubba bubba my ball is bubba mcgee what's this an old jukebox what's it say on it passport to rockopolis should we should we touch it baby elvis my friend wrote a few songs that are really bonkers little charlie manson no i like them being adults and then going to rockopolis then they're the then they're the babies i think yeah that's even more fun wait that's what it is that they go until they get to rockopolis they aren't babies

they become they found an old jukebox and it took them to rockopolis and then they became rascals they're hard rock rascals they were rock stars and now they're babies hard rock rascals making rocking their way to your heart. My, um, memory, real life childhood memory of playing in Hollywood is that,

um, stuff started going downhill when, in the early years, they would brag about, in our chicken fingers, they're rolled in Captain Crunch.

They're sweet. Like, they're rolled in Captain Crunch and Corn Flakes. And when they stopped paying the license,

when they just said, they're rolled in sweet cereal, I was like, it's like that was fun that was like as a kid like you get the kids attention to me of like chicken captain crunch chicken tenders yeah and so what i wonder what they were i wonder what sweet cereal could they even use captain crunch anymore or was it like me or like robert falling out with captain crunch go fuck yourself captain or the or the disrespecting his service wait what did he say what did captain crunch sound like wait that's what i thought too well they're out of here. They're great. I use it, too.

Yar. Although the Earl of Sandwich was a Navy man, and Captain Crunch was a Navy man, so maybe that was the conflict. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Different wings. Captain, we could have won Waterloo if you had followed my advice. Because they did win Waterloo.

I forget. Yeah, we know, militaries. I was busy following my nose. That's another serial thing I say as well. Yarr. The point is, Robert Earl, I mean, look, we'd all just lit up at an idea of his. Yeah. There's something magnetic about this man.

I mean, everybody describes him as charismatic. He lights up a room clearly and uh i i feel like when you when you're asking why does this okay sandwich place come back from the dead it's got to be just the sheer force of will and probably from him got like construction workers start put it back up make it happen again he had he was saying there's an interview with him he was having he had a couple rough years when like planet hollywood stuff went down but he said Put it back up. Make it happen again. He was saying there's an interview with him. He had a couple rough years when Planet Hollywood stuff went down, but he said it was like most of 26 years of his,

like 30 years of his restaurant career were meteoric. Meteoric? That is shocking. It is so hard to open and maintain a restaurant. Yeah. Let alone like 300 of them. Yeah. Advice he was going to give himself he said if like if somebody asked him like advice you would have given yourself and he said maybe focus

on one instead of opening up a bunch because that's what he did uh he got to you know but that also works like opening up a bunch worked like that's true i mean planet hollywood fell apart but it is still you know i mean that went from 300 to six, four. But the brand's still around. You think he'd give us the advice to focus on one episode a week instead of a bunch daily? I think he would appreciate the ambition and the inventiveness like the Hard Rock Rascals with its characters. He would say, like like i only have one note you're all babies pretend you're all babies you're all babies around flap your arms to and fro

says jason um well there you have it you you were roped into an Earl of Sandwich experience. I hope you had a decent time. I had a great time. I guess, Mike Mitchell, you survived Podcast The Ride, but now I don't know what happens exactly. We missed the sector keeper earlier, so I don't even know if he's... Yeah, we kind of just didn't even want to bring him in.

This is a boss level. And again, this is a boss level, so this is usually the point where the sector keeper gets possessed. Right. So what happens instead? point where the sector keeper gets possessed. Right. So what happens instead? Oh, Mitch, are you okay? I'm not feeling so good, guys. Mitch, Mitch.

What's happening to Mitch? Oh my God. It's me, Robert Earl. I've possessed Mitch. Oh no. Oh my God. A guest has been possessed. This is the first time

this has happened. Oh my God. Mitch, if you're in there, I'm so sorry. Whirl, why? Mitch looks like where all my profits were going. Look at this big belly. Don't insult Mitch like that. That's not nice.

He's lending you his body. Don't bang Mitch's belly like that. I can feel his big belly and his tiny little wanker. I can feel it. Oh my God. So you're really experiencing his body. We do have a good opportunity here. Would you mind, like, I don't want to put it,

but would you show Mitch's wanker to Scott? Of course, check it out, everyone. Scott, what the hell? Check it out. You're going to get canceled. That's pretty small. The ordeal has made you weird. Guys, it's Mitch.

Scott, what are you doing? It's me, Rob. Oh, no, don't. Hey, Mike, were you just taking a picture of me in that one second that I was staring really close at Mitch's dick? Yeah, because I was going to cancel you later. Oh, God. Okay. I don't think that is what, I mean, when there's a spirit involved, I think the lines are blurred.

Anyway, let's deal with this for now. You guys, I want the podcast to ride to be my guest. Tonight, you're eating dirt. What? Dirt? Yes dirt yes i'm gonna kill you oh okay oh no we're gonna use your construction worker friends yes dig graves for us i got all my best friends here the construction workers i see them they're appearing oh no the expendables grab them boys all the expendables your hands on them like i put my hands on all my guests oh no terry cruise is holding my arms now make them do the mayor pete dance don't blunder it is touching

my lower back and we make it high high hopes for the limit that's very demeaning and i put my spell of cobs on you so now you're tired and slow while doing this. Oh, no. This is unfair. Jet Li, I think. Get off me. The indiscernible variety of bread. It's not quite ciabatta. It's not quite French.

It's weird. Yes, Ty. It's the lifestyles of the bread and the dead. Oh, my God. That's a clever. That would be a great actual horror movie. His titles are good. You kept Mitch's wit.

Do you have... Robert, what are other ideas for TV shows? Anything else that could be a rascal? Moving on. You're right. We should... Hey, we need to focus on getting him the fuck out of here. What do we have in the inventory?

We didn't get much this level. We've got a picture of Sangria, and Carly gave us those Lego avatars very nicely even though we allocated the Lego store to a different stage. But we have our little selves. Hey, you know what we should do? We should send those Lego guys up as Urethra. Oh, good idea.

Just like they did to Jar Jar. Climb up his peel. First block it so Mitch can't reproduce and then go up into the brain and get Earl out of there. All right. Pull the avatars out.

I've got the avatars out. Put this helmet on. Hey, best of luck. Hey, you know what? Today you're joining Cranium Command. Go little guys. Oh, there they go. Scurry, scurry.

Oh, it actually feels okay. I actually kind of like it. I'm getting off on it, mate. Whoa, actually. Oh, that's weird. Is having those characters in Mitch's dick actually making Mitch's dick bigger? Yes. It looks pretty nice actually.

It's a decent size now. Oh, wait, but they're moving through. They're moving up to your brain. I can see. I have a neural connection to my avatar like in the movie Avatar. Oh, did you plug your braid into the Lego's body? I plugged my braid into the Legos, into the case he came in. Oh, yeah.

Wow. So you're connected to one of those things called avatars. Cool. That's right. I can see inside Mitch's body. Ooh, a little rough. It's okay. No judgment.

We're all getting older. What are you seeing in there? What organ would you see that was like... rough. It's okay. No judgment. We're all getting older. What are you seeing in there? What organ would you see? I see the wrappers of all the food places. The wrappers? Are you telling me that he eats the wrappers with the food on it? Is that what you're saying, Jason? It's like a movie. It's like Wreck-It Ralph when you see all the logos.

You see all the logos. Bitches gotta learn to not eat the wrappers. It's like Osmosis Jones. There's a city in here. Why did I choose to possess this one? He seems the dumbest. He's eating wrappers left and right. A very poor possession on your part, Mr. Earl. You don't make every good decision.

Sometimes you make the bad ones. No. Like opening restaurants too quickly or letting Legos climb up a P-hole into your brain. The avatars are free climbing his spinal column like Free Solo, which you can now watch on Disney+. They're almost at the brain.

Like Free Solo. Spoiler alert. The man does not fall to his death. Are they in the brain yet? They're at the brain. They're at the brain. Oh, they're seeing all of his good ideas. They're seeing all the good ideas. Quick voice. Give them to me. I want them. No, quick voice. Activate the brain. Oh, they're seeing all of his good ideas. They're seeing all the good ideas. Quick voice. Give them to me. I want them.

No, quick voice. Activate the areas. Activate the areas with bad memories. The tiffs with Stallone and Schwarzenegger. The tiffs with Morton. The bad memories. They're flooding back. No.

Schwarzenegger's screaming at you and flexing his muscles. There's only one way out of this. I'm going to touch my magic jukebox. Oh, we brought his magic jukebox with him. And turn into a little baby. Wait, Mitch is now a baby? Mitch is now a baby. Oh, no.

There he goes. Wait, Mitch is? Well, the body is... No, what I'm seeing is Mitch is a baby. I'm seeing Mitch is a baby. I'm seeing Mitch is a a baby his wanker still looks the same to me teeny tiny baby that didn't change in any way change robert earl okay well then i think what we have to do is maybe we can need to make baby mitch man up by giving him a

full picture of sangria to himself. Here you go, little baby. Glug, glug. I'm going to cancel you. I'm helping you like the Mandalorian. Guys. Oh, the avatars are climbing out of Mitch's ear, and he's back to full size. What happened?

Well, to be honest. Long story, my man. Yeah, but Robert Earl possessed you, and some Legos crawled up your pee hole jesus christ am i gonna be okay i the way you're eating i don't know what what did he say well you've been going to hogwatt you unwrap the food on doughboys before you eat it right huh never mind i think you're gonna be fine you're gonna be fine look at your dinner partners the next think you're gonna be fine you're gonna be fine

look at your dinner partners the next time you're eating with folks the point oh my god I said you survived podcast the ride preemptively

now Mike Mitchell you survived podcast the ride wow wow god guys yeah I can't believe it I felt the evil force

in my body and I just felt it go away after I drank that sangria. That was all it took. Just feeding a child sangria is what did it. You guys are heroes.

Yes, feeding a child. Forcing liquor onto a little baby. You beat Robert Earl. I feel pretty good about it. Maybe I'll go giving liquor to babies more often. Wait, and look. Look at the coffee table. A giant toasted party sub is appearing.

It must be the item. Is it a gobbler? It's a big gobbler. It's a party sub-sized toasted gobbler wrapped in that sort of unnerving Earl of Sandwich tinfoil we didn't get a chance to talk about. Oh, with the Union Jack.

But it's weird, right? It's kind of Union Jack, but it crinkles so easily. It just makes me think of Austin Powers' underwear. But that's cool. It is cool. He is cool. Like eating hair, like the lettuce at Earl of Sandwich.

Yeah. The lettuce. I'll get you next time, Podcaster Ride Boys. Oh, wow. Geez. Final. His spirit flying away, perhaps to Rockopolis. Yeah, I think he went to Rockopolis.

Where hopefully he stays yeah unless teaser unless he seemed like comes back somehow i guess we'll have to see yeah oh boy all right but guys that was wild wow that was that was really insane um and if you see any photos posted later that appear to be me and you in this room and I'm looking at your penis that's been unzipped. Those are clearly deep fakes. Oh, wow. Jeez. You're so specific about what the deep fake will be.

I don't know. I just got a vision. It must have been like a cosmic thing from all these spirits being around. I don't know why I said those specific words. That's fine with me, but one last question before I go. Why am I wearing a diaper? Hmm. Well.

That's just a little idea for you. That's between you and your God, I guess, to sort out. Just a little lifestyle suggestion for you. You know, have some fun with it. All right. Hell yeah. See what possibilities it opens up. Yeah, you don't have to go to the bathroom now.

That's a good point you can record whenever you want this is a great idea yeah now you can just be podcasting non-stop

without even bathroom breaks yeah that thing the podcast fans dream all your fans dream learn the mayor pete dance like yeah and then make a shit in your diaper

shitty in your diaper little diaper um mitch thanks for thanks for being here thanks for having me stuff any any exit through the gift shop is there anything you'd like to plug uh um no uh the tomorrow war in 2020 yeah right there's the movie or the actual war that's coming there's gonna be a tomorrow war in 2020 us versus rockopolis well i'm enlisting battle we will destroy those babies pretty easy um fuck those rascals and then uh doughboys on uh on head gum and the patreon Give it a listen. Yeah. Yeah, great show. That's it. Fun stuff. Indeed. Who knew?

I wonder if you'll be the last Doughboy of the series. I wonder, yeah. Question mark. Hmm. Anyway, as for the rest of the stuff, y'all came from the underworld. Hopefully, you came from the underworld, but if you didn't,

all those episodes are still available at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. And as always, for more Podcast the Ride and more Downtown Disney or Deal, hashtag DDDO, hashtag Save the Level Keeper, and follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. We're heading towards the end.

Only one more level left. Tomorrow, it starts to end. Tomorrow starts the end. Great. The fallout of all our good intentions. Goodbye, Tootly-Doo. See ya. Forever.

Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.