Podcast: The Ride - Downtown Disney Ordeal 5-2

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

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FOREVER! DOG! Darkness falls out on the street, evil rears its head Get your crazy shake to go and your fried donut bread The villains threaten this sacred place, this downtown shopping mall We must defend the Lego store and the Splitsville bowling balls The Downtown Disney or do you? We must protect our AP discount meals

The Downtown Disney or do you? What secrets does the Earl of Sandwich conceal? Boys, boys, my cousin has been taken by evil forces that have inhabited Downtown Disney In order to find them them you will need to thoroughly discuss every aspect of the mall stores restaurants both of the starbucks we have 18 daily very necessary episodes in which to do so i will be there to guide you and keep your conversations from getting too off topic or boring the downtown disney ordeal why do we do this to ourselves welcome to podcast the ride the downtown disney ordeal level five stage two my name as always is

mike carlson it is it's remained consistent it's consistent the whole time i'm a little tired cast then it changes but besides that yeah that's true same names we have gardener's mine that's scott garner talking that's jason sheridan his name as always jason skeleton oh you're back to the case it comes in and out yeah you did you pulled like what i pull where i'm like all right i got this intro down and then oh i i just immediately a trip off the diving board did you see confidence when i said i would do it because i wasn't like watch me smoke these guys with this introduction we're all broken men yes what's happening that is what's happening we're ambling to the end we have the boss has not appeared yet no still there hasn't been some early exit we're still

trying to find them in fact of course we had more episodes than planned yeah but one less than city walk saga still let but if you think about it so far remember yeah you know we have no idea if bonuses will get added but also we sort of didn't really do the food court so that is the same amount if you think about it that's true but i think that the distinction of having the episodes with a start and finish still there'll be people that will argue that with us have you heard how i think our facebook group somebody pointed out how the four minute episode about the food court where we don't talk about it is just ravaged by ads but like because they still plug all the ads in because the algorithm is still

putting stuff on top of it yeah so i think you listen to it and it's like three minutes of ad content and then two and a half minutes of us not doing what we but that would but which of course was that we had remember how all the research we had for the city walk food court we had so much we wanted to say and honestly the secretary keeper wouldn't let us um now i so i hope to god he allows us to talk about the stuff today because this is a good if i remember correctly what's in this sector uh no stage stage stage it's really it's a pretty strong one so let's bring him in and uh get his official permission oh great one the sector keeper boys boys you give me strength

and i hope this ordeal gives you strength you said that in a way that i feel like you know it's not giving us strength i feel like you were effing with us. Looking at you, I see three buoyant boys. You seem up. Did you find some of those higher nicotine jewel pods that are harder to get now? Yeah, there it is. Higher nicotine content? There's like double nicotine pods? There are different levels of nicotine content in them.

Is that Rolo? It smells like Rolo. That's cigarette flavor. It just is cigarette? Okay. Oh, God. That seems unpleasant, honestly. I'm eating Rolos.

You want one? I do. You know I do. Poppin' Rolos and, oh my gosh, so you're like, you're amped. This is a high level sector keeper we're getting. This is an exciting level. An exciting i should say yeah whatever the fuck this is hey don't take your agitation out on us we're already we've been losing it okay and you god knows where you've been we've been like we've been facing bosses and dealing with shit. And, you know, what did we do yesterday? I don't remember.

I don't even know. We talked about Casamigos tequila for an hour. Oh, God damn it. Yeah, we had to loop back around the Cindy Crawford guy. Gerber. That's right, Randy Gerber. Now that you've reminded me. Randy Gerber will have to be coming up on this episode

No more I won't force it it has to be organic Gerber's an old friend Oh really Have you ever ridden on the back of his motorcycle With him Wow really Or does he have a sidecar

He has a sidecar But I ride on the back and Clooney rides in the sidecar oh wow and you like just like grip him like just rub put your arms around him and yeah for a joyride just go for a ride boys boys focus though because we must get you moving today's level five stage two the downtown disney stage food trucks the unbuilt luxury hotel security checkpoints and as always rinse bath and body company as always as always something going around today was it has it like been there since the beginning maybe it predated downtown it's not fact i mean that's not like physically correct but maybe like under the ground like as minerals and there were like bath bombs like found if you dug under it

like under the surface you'd find just like big deposits of glittery bath bombs like found if you dug under it like under the surface you'd find just like big deposits of glittery bath bombs yeah that you could clean yourself with um so and and uh pucker sticks ancient puff puff pucker sticks um so uh i feel like it's all coming apart here well this is the area that's just left we got it's just like nothing happening now because the hotel right didn't get built sure uh to to recap we can do that real quick we have a whole episode about this unbuilt luxury hotel there was originally supposed to be a hotel on the downtown disney surface parking lot just a bragging about a four-diamond hotel. Disney's first four-diamond hotel.

And you could see fireworks from a rooftop bar. The hotels they already have that you pay $900 a night for are not four-diamond. Those aren't considered nice enough. Right. Because what it is is that if you're a business and you want to send your businessmen to have a conference in Anaheim, they need the hotel to be a certain level. They like to send those important businessmen and women to a very high-end hotel. To a very high-end hotel.

They don't want to slum it at the Grand Californian. No. A bunch of garbage. Those expense accounts aren't going to get stretched enough at the Grand Californian. So that first hotel eventually morphed into a second hotel that was going to have 700 rooms and be built on this part of downtown Disney and incorporate the monorail station for a perspective 700 rooms in this unbuilt hotel. The Disneyland hotel is 990 rooms.

The Grand California has 1019 rooms and Paradise Pier has 481 rooms. And this whole thing was very seemingly rushed. Very rushed. Secretary Cooper

just started laughing for some reason at all of your statistics. Sir, if you remember, please don't forget the device of the coughing. If you're ever feeling bored, just if you need to cough

to keep us moving feel free to cough people love our infrastructure top sorry I just zoned so now the problem that happened with this is that Disney got a 267 million dollar tax subsidy

to build that yes original hotel when they shifted it a block away it caused multiple businesses to close and jobs lost oh that's right when it was going to be not in this downtown did they this is a cursed uh stage yeah because it killed the entire it killed their whole project and the parking garage it all came apart and this seemingly a very, this hotel they were going to build over downtown Disney, very fast. It felt like all of a sudden they were like, oh yeah, well, we're not going to do it here. We're going to do it here.

And we're going to just design something quick and like just throw it up. And cramped. Yes. The concept art is very cramped. The other thing is, if they had taken all those tax subsidy dollars, they would have been on the hook to raise the minimal wage to 18 an hour by 2022 yes so that was another factor in play that and that what that wasn't wasn't happening no they don't want to do that yeah uh so thus we're left with this weird graveyard of like they don't know

what to do because they had gotten so far as to gut the rainforest cafe sure yeah gut espn zone they obviously theaters movie theaters gutted like they were moving so quick with this whole thing yeah there was not even time to go back once and it cursed other stages yes yeah we could be talking about we could be doing an hour and a half on just the amc theater alone in the downtown disney ordeal but of course this or a hotel construction site what a mess could you imagine though could you imagine a killer app if we yeah if we just like kind of were like peering over the construction wall for 30 minutes to an hour i saw some lunch boxes construction worker lunch box jason could do an hour on lunch boxes an hour on lunch boxes what did you have as a child lunchbox wise oh great question uh had a ghostbusters for sure had a plastic

ghostbusters and then a ninja turtle i think and then my mom got real into yeah good stuff uh then my mom got real into like the freezer bag like the the kind of fabric bags that were that's what i had mostly unfortunately like i wanted always wanted the fun plastic but i usually had just like a insulated bag yeah with a turkey sandwich that was so wet because there was an ice pack and right thing to keep it like crushing it yeah to keep it cold but like my mom was so worried the food would spoil within three hours well but then by the time i got to high school it was just a brown paper bag like i because i was like i don't want to carry around the freezer bag all day right i did cafeteria yeah in high school i eventually anybody else

want to chime in on this conversation i don't remember i don't remember what lunch boxes i had and well it's just it will keep us moving luckily if you're looking for some eats in this stage, there's a bunch of fucking food trucks parked here sometimes. They are trying to just dress it up and make people not notice that they destroyed three of their businesses. That a giant temple ruin is legitimately a ruin now. Yes, that is true. You could like...

Yeah, so they're trying to uh they've put banners up and some lights to dress up the area party yeah it's fun or a sandwich in starbucks were able to reopen which good i like them they're convenient yeah sure i mean that's yeah they didn't go in there and bomb those places no so there was enough ones because how do you fill those like the like everything ending up being a halloween superstore uh these big spaces there's nothing to do and they already have that's the giant retail spaces all you can do is halloween superstore or a void and they already have a void so there's nothing they can do with this these giant boxes just left to rot uh yes he uh like yeah could they if it's truly like empty i

wonder what it looks like in there is it truly empty in there or is it just like rubble like is it i wonder there's no no leaked photos i feel like there's more leaked photos from disney world of stuff like that and did they leave all the rainforest props or did it did they take it to put in other rainforest cafes but there's not that many of those right but still i mean they need parts i'm sure they need parts so i'm yeah are any robots left you could maybe they like yanked out a gorilla jaw to use in case like a niagara falls gorilla jaw drops out or schomburg the schomburg gorilla yeah sure god well well if the car zooming around that mall the car that busted in had been successful and driven into the gorilla for yes straight into the gorilla and decapitated it then it wouldn't

but thank god nothing happened but they need one if he had hit any themed characters we would be we'd be we'd talk about him every single episode we would be raising money for the rainforest cafe if that had happened yes our favorite charity a co-fund me not for us but for and not for the um conservation uh groups that rainforest cafe donates money to oh yeah like real animals and plants hell no for the restaurant group get out of here save the robots they should reopen it for a special event for my favorite movie coming out soon oh yeah we heard you're psyched about Robert Downey Jr.'s Doolittle. Will you take me to Doolittle? If we get out of this whole thing unscathed, yeah, we should all go to Doolittle.

Now, does that supplant taking you to Good Boys, or do we now owe you two movies? Two, please. Oh, damn it. Double feature. What a fun double feature. Good Boys and Doolittle 2020. And wait, and by that point, it's November now. these damn it double feature what a fun double feature good boys and do little 2020 and wait and by that point it's november now good boys hasn't but we're gonna have to go find a discount theater and then and then regroup in what january february when do little comes out i'm saying i shouldn't be

saying this like it's a problem i would love to hang out with you i'm excited to hang out with you also scott i think you're overthinking it we can rent a theater and host a screening of good boys rent the vacant time maybe and then fill the and then walk over to do an after party at the empty rainforest cafe using whatever remnants are there oh boys boys you give me strength and parental guidance. Wow, I wasn't even thinking that far. That's a great idea. Yeah, we can rent the abandoned AMC to do a double feature of Good Boys. We have to bring our own screen, though.

That's fine. We did that for our Anaheim show. So I'll get on the ground and plug in my my home projector to fill an empty movie theater that has no seats we have to bring our own seats too yeah that's true lawn chairs well we got you covered sector keeper this is gonna be great we now have to host we're also gonna have to sneak in and do all of this because disney's not gonna let us no i'm gonna have to find a bootleg uh dcp of doolittle like a bootleg copy with chinese subtitles and do a little that's fine though so all right so opening day of doolittle yeah we will

all right assuming that we have a hookup in china to film it off of a screen yeah and send it to us and adjust the subtitles then join us we'll just say the day of Doolittle. Not the day after. Let's go buy ourselves a day. Go just walk into the AMC Theater. Break it open if you have to and you'll find us in the Sector Keeper hosting a screening. And yeah, you'll be filled with wonder

seeing Downey as Doolittle. Yeah. Bring one of your Podcast the Ride t-shirts. Wrap it around your wrist. Punch the glass. punch the glass, break the glass, and then Jimmy the door. And if any,

if you get any shards stuck to your hand, we'll remove the shard and autograph it. Yeah. That's also just a good thing. If you're on the fence about getting one of our shirts from T-Public, that's just a great use for it. If you need to punch some glass. Yeah. To bandage your hand. of our shirts from t-public that's just a great use for it if you need to punch some glass yeah

to bandage your hand if you don't want to wear it i have to answer questions about what is your shirt about you can use it to break into spaces you shouldn't be into yep at disneyland yeah sure oh boy um all right so we have we got a good plan now until then, this area is just in decay. And, you know, this might be a good opportunity to talk about, you know, we're talking about the Never Built Luxury Hotel. Something we haven't talked about in this ordeal. In both the saga and the ordeal, we've talked about fallen brothers. What we haven't talked about is never born brothers.

Yes. You'll probably feel a little twinge of their spirit every time I bring them up. The ones who weren't lucky enough to live and walk and talk with us. Yes. Like Doolittle's animals. I was wondering about this because, you know, like plans never came into fruition and there was no real source of it until that weird Al Lutz controversy that happened a little while ago.

A highlight of my fucking year for anyone who doesn't know uh there was a longtime disney blogger in the 90s who apparently has been usurped by an interloper within the disney company who's using a fake using this real blogger's name in a fake way to try to get Bob Chapek fired. That's the long and short of it. The most confusing way to put it. Sort of like how Dear Abby died years ago and they kept the column going. Right. Yeah.

Or the Boxcar Children. The author of the Boxcar Children died years ago and they kept writing Boxcar Children with our name on it. Oh, really? Yeah. And you've read every page. Well, well yeah that's his favorite book series i knew the boxcar children you're like benny what was benny like i don't remember i read the first one benny slept a lot i remember the boxcar children the thing i liked about them is that they had a boxcar they lived in

but they would keep their food cool by putting it next to like a waterfall that was by the boxcar yeah you pack it up you like the stream is colder cooling situations yeah and i thought that was awesome yeah and i was like i'd like to live in that box car and keep my food cool by a nearby waterfall sure as opposed to a refrigerator yeah no refrigerator out use a refrigerator or a waterfall a refrigerator but i have an overflow waterfall like your uncle who's got like a meat fridge in the garage if it's if the fridge is if the fridge is full move it over to the water and i hate to keep sidetracking but the boxcar children at the end of the first book got adopted by a very rich man a rich man and he brought the boxcar into their back his backyard

it sort of became their clubhouse and then they just didn't live but they the fun of it to me was that they lived out on their own in the middle of the woods in a boxcar now they were just adopted by a rich guy and they solved mysteries was that the idea yes 100 right that's a bummer though isn't it they should have been in the boxcar in the middle of the woods forever you their suffering was your enjoyment i guess yeah i guess if i think about it that is true that is uh the tagline for this uh series our suffering is your enjoyment all right um scott anyway back to the i was gonna say all that was just to say in the middle of all that somebody we we we texted about this somebody tweeted out here is the entirety of the al lutz archives all this like this like website that would like detailed all of the rumors and everything like

from the from 1997 to 2004 or something and i went into the al lutz archives searched for downtown disney to get material for this series and there still wasn't that much it was just a lot of the sacred text it was really this was the al lutz archives were the pentagon papers of the downtown disney ordeal they cracked the whole thing page turners they were not so just to name check that was the explanation was longer than what i have to say uh his things that were not built the never born brothers of dante and disney the virgin megastore right built planet hollywood was never built oh god um the uh there was apparently supposed to somewhere be a gigantic barbie collection i think disney did own for a while a big barbie collection and was we're trying to

figure out is there a way we can shoehorn it into california adventure or put it in here somewhere there was a whole thing and i don't know if this is tied into it but there was a whole thing with trying to get barbie in the original toy story And that was Bo Peep, I believe. I could be totally wrong about this. But there was some version of this. I know this for sure. But I don't know. I think it was Bo Peep.

And then they eventually did get Barbie. Because I think that Mattel owns Barbie at this point. I believe so. And then they finally were like, well, obviously, Toy Story is a giant hit. And it would be good for us to have Barbie involved. So then that finally happened. So I wonder if that's all. Well well this is in the same era yeah so maybe disney formed this this barbie partnership and also around the same time one of our most overdue episodes barbie at epcot

you're right yes yeah we got this live show and a video that came with it yeah we're we really owe that one yeah um anyway uh also but i think a lot of these like these these bigger retailers stopped uh like didn't want to end up in there because they were cutting costs everywhere and california adventure was going badly and in fact uh like wolfgang puck oh wait a minute no i had i had it wrong wolfgang puck was offered a spot in downtown disney but he didn't want to be in downtown disney because he missed the the lunch crowd he was like people aren't gonna leave the parks go have lunch and then go out so he wanted to be in california adventure instead right so thus he was in avalon cove which is now uh what's it called lamplighter yeah yeah um but then, that was very bad for him and he pulled out of that as fast as possible.

And he was, this is in the outlets. He was apparently so disappointed that Disney may give him another location in downtown Disney, either at a discount or free as a make good possibly due to the terrible attendance they're getting at California adventure. Wow. Wolfgang Puck is calling him throwing a fit.

I want a free restaurant. Give it to me but yet that is a never built wolfgang puck did not get his free downtown disney restaurant he was probably in the right like he i feel like he has goodwill i feel like it's a trustworthy brand and they fucked him around classy name absolutely uh same with robert mondavi he pulled out of there he took his shitty wine out of california venture as fast as he could um and also disney quest disney quest intended to be here at some point and maybe that copperfield magic underground restaurant i would imagine if it had gotten

off the ground these were all been a big plan potentially if now imagine downtown disney where all of that was built there was one spot i read that they had talked about a west coast adventurers club too and i never was able to confirm i think tony baxter did not i think i asked him about you did and he did not he did not remember but and i have not found like three sources who said i think i found like once i mean it makes sense you should tweet it roadie yeah i could try that i mean it would be expensive to build the building the themed environment and then all those equity actors and puppets and stuff and it doesn't it adds up would it make sense you'd have to put plaques

all over downtown disney to make it fit into a narrative like it's a pleasure island so yeah so you mean they didn't want to have a bunch of puppets and robots and equity actors and instead they built a store where you got three socks instead of two yeah that was somehow more cost to feel effective and appealing do not bring up the three sock a pair right if you didn't hear about the three socks uh go back into uh the the underworld and uh patreon.com slash podcast uh if that doesn't entice you i don't know well will so there you have it the never built truly with all those things this would have been the greatest place it really does it's so it's tragic honestly like having especially if they were all like at least they probably be replaced maybe by today but like three years ago they all would

have failed in three years but well i think that a couple of them would have hung on like up until like 2016 and been decaying so badly that we would still have gotten to enjoy like a rotting disney quest yeah a copperfield restaurant that has like nine rooms and only one is open you're right yeah yes there's three people working at the they do they they taught them how to you know like put the put a handkerchief like like fake pull a handkerchief out of your ear real fast and that's all the magic that happens right otherwise okay so specials are we got a cod uh it's like shares a kitchen with the rainforest to cut down on costs somebody has to walk a hamburger across the so if you order a monkey burger from the

rainforest cafe that's also the magic burger it's a magic burger yeah there's five things on the menu um so yeah it's a weird one it's a weird sector you've got now the stage has been there for a long time i don't know much about the stage i've got a little about this stage because the stage kind of plays in into a classic uh disneyland event so the stage is where the saturday night swing dancing moved when they closed carnation gardens do you remember do you know about this no for years and years and years, decades, Carnation Gardens right by the castle hosted Saturday night swing dancing. And eventually that was closed for the Fantasy Fair. And people were very upset because there is a contingent of people that would go and

do swing dancing every Saturday. So, while they were rebuilding, like doing all this construction, they moved the swing dancing and the big band to the Downtown Disney stage. Eventually, Fantasy Fair, they put the swing dancing back in there on Saturday. So, you can still go Saturday nights to go to swing dancing some Saturdays. But then, also, there are swing dancing other nights at the downtown disney stage and swing dancing at the splitsville stage so there's more swing dancing than ever and there is a facebook group that uses very confusing abbreviations to say like saturday 10 17 um uh dan dan whoopie like it says like dw at dtds like so like dan whoopie at the downtown disney state it's like all abbreviations no i just made that up i couldn't believe though

that dan whoopie was a real swing dancer that loves downtown disney and whoopie so uh you can still see alter ego of yours go see jason do swing music i call when i play my tunes i call it make and whoopee oh my god disneyland has asked me to not do that anymore to body for it is your body so yeah you've had to learn the code of the disneyland swing you're now a code talker of disneyland swingers not that kind of swinger swingsters swingers if you're hooking up with multiple swingsters if you're dancing around i know about uh dan whoopie the wop opa lubops uh all all of the guys um if there's daddies who are cherry popping the pencil skirt sisters all all of the local

bands um i also when i said on twitter is there anything you like from downtown disney somebody said i should shout out the suburban legends which i did notice which is a ska band that seems like very pop popular locally and legitimate and with a giant discography. And they seem to have amassed a huge following primarily from their appearances at Downtown Disney. So there are legitimate bands around there. And it does, Downtown Disney, as we learned in the House of Blues,

you know, Downtown Disney is a legitimate part of the OC ska and punk and now we know swing scene yeah i like i like the stage the only thing i don't like about when i go up because i like watching a little bit of every performance there was an elvis guy elvisy guy i forget his name i like that i just don't like it when there's only like 10 people because i don't want too much eye contact from the performer because if i want to leave i want to leave so i like try to hang back and enjoy because i just don't want pressure to stay yes because i feel like if there's 10 people and you're playing and one of them leaves that is devastating like as a performer you're like because that's one you act as if you know that from your years of improv performances you know 10 audience members is a blessing

10 is generous and especially if they're not people performing in 10 minutes that's even better yes that's true because that's very common as well the audience of the downtown disney stage are probably aren't taking classes from the Downtown Disney stage and have to go. Yes, that's a good point. They're not taking classes to be the next Elvis impersonator. Although. Although. An Elvis, a UCB style Elvis training academy.

Or just UCB teaching an Elvis class in general. Well, if you want to be performing in a paid manner elvis is one of your best bets true you go to vegas like almost like every hotel has like four elvises at any given time and you would think that that wouldn't uh regenerate at this point he's been dead for an awfully long time sure but i guess but elvis maintains and we need new young Elvises To replace the Elvises who are dying off Or is he? Oh Interesting

Let's just say We never crossed paths Okay so Oh And you've met a lot of other Dead people Let me ask you this have you crossed paths with Jimi Hendrix? Yes.

Okay. How about... D.B. Cooper? Yes. It's to confirm once and for all. Beethoven? Not the dog, the composer. The composer, yes.

The dog, no. Whoa, wait a minute. The original beethoven the dog is still alive that's a conspiracy theory that he's passed away i'll send you a link a youtube video explaining some very interesting thoughts out there so we've unlocked a conspiracy theory that the original Beethoven is still alive. The original dog who played Beethoven is still alive. It's very impressive because big dogs die more easily. I read that he's making a cameo in Doolittle. That would put him at least at, what did Beethoven come out, 92?

This dog's 27 years old, at least. At least. 28, 29. He's old enough to have gone way past Beethoven's second. We're talking Beethoven's 29th. Yeah. Whoa. This is big, honestly.

This is a big revelation. It's this late in the ordeal. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah. Who cares about his Tupac still out there? His original Beethoven. His original Beethoven still alive. Any St. Bernard you see.

Or any other big dog. Maybe he's in disguise. He painted his fur a different color. I don't know. If anyone has any more information about this, tweet at us. Yeah. He has blood transfusions of younger dogs. Oh, no.

What? Oh, my God. He gets, like, stem cell treatments? Yes. Wow. That's crazy. It's transplants. What's that thing the celebrities get the the hormone in the

face hga what are you talking about yeah yeah or the i don't know the hgh is human growth hormone you don't necessarily get in your face i think i've talked about what i believe is hgh head which is what makes your head big and puffy well so if he got it nobody would be beethoven got it right dgh nobody would be the wiser i think edwin just walked down here and i think maybe it's time for him to get a little dgh do you want edwin to stay around forever i just make his face huge i just want him to be more strong uh strong i want him to be more powerful just jacked which you'll need if you ever run into original beethoven he'll like knock you through the hall when he humps yeah when he stress humps he'll be knocking you giving you a concussion original beethoven looks a lot like still

sylvester stallone looks now we're like he looks pretty good for in his 70s but something's weird get up close it's a little strange um okay so we're almost out of here but are we security checkpoints oh yeah security checkpoints uh on this side we yeah no we didn't talk about because they're gone on the other side well this this area gets a little weird because you have the security checkpoints and sort of on a straight line laterally is rinse. Rinse is technically outside. We have to talk about the points first. I know. I'm just saying it gets weird.

Sector keeper. Do we? Yes. Hey, all right. Well, there's like a bunch of metals. They give you those little white jars.

They give you a little dog bowls to put your stuff in. They give you little dog bowls. They'll check your bags boys boys i just received a text message from my cousin the level the level keeper oh oh he says make sure you spend ample time on the security man level keeper thinking about that wherever he's lost we can't find him. He or she. We don't know. She or she. Oh, God. We don't know. I would text back, but he's texting.

Or she. Or she is texting from his or her prepaid cricket wireless phone. Right, right. All right. What counts as ample? I don't know. I got stuck the last time we went when we were there with you, Sector Keeper. They got rid of the line that's just

no bags no bags interesting which i think is interesting yeah because like because you both said interesting well i find that interesting well they it's changed the security uh system has changed for for many years you just had to get your bag checked you did not have to go through a metal detector and then they had them further down, and it was a fucking mess. Yes. And now they have them at the tram, when you get on the tram, or here, if you walk over, or you're coming from the hotel. Yes.

Talking about this is as interesting as being stuck in a security line. Oh, people love our infrastructure talk. I will say, sometimes I don't think i i like a thorough bag i'm a paranoid person uh the world we live in is scary sometimes i don't like it when i see a guy or a girl just put their hand in and like do a little glance and don't do the thorough check they've maybe opened my glasses cases good before yeah sure i like that that makes me feel good west you can just walk in and out yeah so i i appreciate the the time they're taking but if i'm just a single uh a single passenger essentially i'm just a man in his 30s alone

going into downtown disney as you are once a week at least once a week this summer uh i just want an express lane or a tsa pre-check for downtown we talked about yeah we talked about it already but i want that uh and it would be nice i'd also like i think also with with uh any of these types of lines generally you try to go to the farthest one away that's the quickest right uh and i guess so yeah that's usually the case because people generally just psychologically i think go to the first line so how we do if you had to guess your cousin's thoughts do you think that we need more here maybe a little more okay well uh i got stuck and i had to they they got went down to my belt and they made me turn my belt buckle around

and show that there was nothing hidden on the other side of the belt buckle. I did find that a little interesting. I find it interesting that I have a belt that I generally wear and 90% of the time does not set a metal detector off, but once in a while, it does. Once in a while.

Which is weird. At airports, they're really strict about belts now, I find. But it doesn't, at airports, it never sets it off. But at Downtown Disney, once in a while which is weird so you have they're really strict about belts now i find it doesn't at airports it never sets it off but at downtown disney once in a while this belt that i wear sets it off i don't know if they can can they turn up the the intensity on a metal detector how why is this why is this not always working yeah that's a good question yeah i thought you knew oh no i don't well let's all just wear ropes instead of belts so we don't have this problem i get on your cord man um did that do it did that

kick it over the edge wow boys boys you gave the level keeper and i great strength keep moving you aren't even you aren't even looking at your phone you're making up these i'm not sure he ever texted well but now he or she or she but now we're at the piste resistance rinse rinse wait a minute yeah though jason wait why do we have to the we're at this you said the security checkpoint was the end but then there's this store i didn't know this look at this map see see this map i'm showing you yes it's distance wise it's technically behind you have to go outside the security checkpoint but it's realistically the uh side of the movie theater so it's in the next sandwich so therefore but it's the only store that's technically downtown Disney that's outside the security checkpoints. Right.

Yes. And the only store you could bring a weapon in, I guess. I mean, that's true. I'm not saying use it, but if you've, well, like you might encounter a problem in the soap store. If you had a saber, you could bring it. If you had a nunchuck, a single nunchuck, you could bring it in to rinse. That's true. There was nothing they could do.

Yes, it runs parallel with a security checkpoint and it shares a space with Earl of Sandwich. So, boys, you must explore. Tell us. Okay, good. I didn't know this existed. I didn't either. Before the ordeal started. I know it's very new-ish.

I thought it was part of the store with all the wooden signs. I thought that was technically like half rinse. I knew. I brought this to the table. Yes, you did. I figured it might be on the table. So, I was like, we should be prepped. Yes.

So, we don't get stuck and like have to go back down just to do that right but once you said like bad once a bath supply was in contention like i started rubbing my little hands together i um i well because last time so in the in the city walk saga, we went to nectar bath treats where everything looks like donuts and cakes. Yes. And you guys, or did only one of you do a bath? We both did a bath.

Well, we both did different approaches. Yeah. I did a bath. Okay. We did a bath bomb. I did a bath bomb. And I got a bar of soap that uh smell looked like a donut shaped like a donut i just would like to remember remind everyone and anyone who didn't know for a period of a

couple weeks a few weeks jason cleaned his body with a donut with coconut pineapple donut soap i would just like it to say just you clean yourself with a donut yeah that's better than even saying it's a soap. Fair. Yeah. So, Mike and I were bath buddies again for this deal. We were bath buddies. We went in and we were looking around and you bought two things or did I? Yes. I bought a bar of oat and honey soap. Okay.

Yes. I bought the bamboo loofah soap yes the bar of soap with a with a loofah inside yes to exfoliate which is a problem i feel like i don't exfoliate enough yeah uh which is good to scrub those dead skin cells off it smells like tea tree oil which really smells like it smells like like the gift shop at knott's berry farm or like a like it smells like vacation which is what i like and i feel like maybe i will do more tea tree oil based soap in the future yeah after using it you found your flavor profile or whatever yeah it says a nostalgic smell uh the loofah uh is a little hardcore that's when it started it's a little

rough but you know what that's good that's good to get that dead skin off okay so uh mine uh as i've been using it has revealed to me more and more oats it's filled with oats. It's an oat and honey soap that has oats in it. That kind of de facto exfoliate. Be honest. Did you eat them? I mean, it's real tempting. Did you be honest? When you were cleaning yourself with that donut, did you take a bite? I had wet post-it notes everywhere saying don't eat the soap.

Remember, in case you wake up at 4 a.m. and forget. Yeah. I just have a donut sitting in the tub. Really? Which happens to him a lot. It's a scrubbing donut, not an eating donut. You had different donuts in different corners of the tub. These are not eating sprinkles.

They're exfoliating sprinkles. I was just chanting myself. Basin became rinse. Basin became rinse. Basin became rinse. Basin became rinse. Basin became rinse. Okay.

So did you like your baths? Well, so, okay. Yes. That's not the only thing. But then we each got something else. We did. I saw the name of a certain thing and I said, oh my gosh jason and i both have to do this uh they sell something called tub truffles and i was like oh my god and before we get into our

tub truffle experiences i have to give it up for everything all natural handmade i think she said in georgia and i thought priced very fairly those soap bars were like seven dollars very fairly four bucks four dollars for a tub truffle if this were city walk it would be like it was so much more nine dollars if not more for some sort of a bath bomb situation i found also this soap less dry like the nectar stuff kind of dried my skin out. This, I felt much more moisturizing. I will be honest with you, S, I also felt very moisturized. So tub truffle is a little, I guess you would call it like a bath bomb. Yeah, it's a little bath bomb.

It's got, you know, different, what flavor did you get? I got. Not scent, flavor. Coconut. I'm excusing. We know you took a bath. Coconut mango. I got a fun coconut mango one uh i got lavender

tub a lavender tub truffle uh i'll just read for the listeners who might be a little confused what it is uh this cocoa butter based bath bomb fizzes in your tub as the cocoa butter slowly melts away conditioning your bath and skin there is just enough cocoa butter to lightly moisturize the skin scent lavender uh the only problem i have is that the bathtub i have is too small for a man of six three which came up the last time yes and still same apartment i the last time i took a bath was the city walk saga I don't do that regularly. But I was like, this would be nice to do more often. But it's also wasteful, too.

So, obviously, we're being journalists right now. We have to take the bath. But I don't want to be wasteful. We're required by work. Yeah, this is a work thing, honestly, to waste all that water on my body. I like the fizzing i found it very relaxing and uh no like dyes and stuff so it didn't like dye the tub or anything like mine mine was just like clear yeah did you let me ask you about the experience i last year i had uh i sipped a diet grape soda

while i was in the bath uh this year i drank a white claw oh that is very funny i had a screwdriver whoa you both drank while you did tub truffles if i'm taking a child if i have taken i take like two baths a year and i'm having a beer or a glass of wine i'm having some sort of drink and i was just getting over a cold so i had orange juice in the house for once and i had um some vodka i've been trying to get rid of for ages so now bring me over i'll get rid of it for you it was um uh i gotta say i got too relaxed because i i think i almost drowned no not that bad but i was like light headed by because like that uh uh water like hot i don't like saunas that much i get lightheaded from them like very so between the uh screwdriver the very relaxing tub truffle and he uh the vapors i really had to steal myself getting out of the

tub and like i have to go lie down oh my god you almost had to go to the hospital i know it was great it was great but i was just like it was like it sounds like you couldn't walk i mean i got out of there you need a wheelchair to wheel you from the bathroom to your bed jason didn't make it out of the downtown disney ordeal oh my god i'm so relaxed they find him and he's just smiling eyes closed in the bath if only we stayed behind the security checkpoints we broke these rules and jason died there's a doctor in a big lab coat And he's like he died of happiness I took a quick 20 minute lie down And then I made the notes required

For this episode Wow Well I had the Last year I took a photo And I was like well what do I have in the house To drink and I have a thing of white cloths Because I love hard water it's all the rage now um but i didn't uh i didn't get hammered in there i was i was not i i have i have i think i've said it on the last episode i can't go right to bed though my body's too hot to go to bed and it's readjusting to the temperature of the of the

apartment hot boy ordeal yeah so i i take like an hour to get back to my normal body temperature before i can go back to bed cough please cough he loves no second keeper loves all this talk that's why he hasn't been coughing i gotta say high marks to rinse the the worker in there was so she was very funny uh uh she kept asking if we were a boy band. Oh, yeah. Us and the Sector Keeper. Us and the Sector Keeper. We were having a lot of fun.

She was thrilled to see some customers. Very, very nice. Very nice. Annual pass discount works at Rinse. Yes. It is alive at Rinse. She said her name tag wasn't her real name. Yeah, that is right.

Oh, that's a good point. Was that a lie? Why did she say that? name on her name tag wasn't her real name oh yeah that is right oh yeah right like she was is that a lie why did she say i used to work retail and if you forgot your name tag at home you just grabbed an extra from the break it's just whatever was around right yeah your name i had i had my last name on my name tag for the last couple years of working in container store wow i never earned my name tag at cricket wireless no no would it just say sector keeper did you used to have a name have we were is there any continuity for your name i can't remember i don't think so i can't maybe we need to do another series looking for my name that's the goal of the next one who were you before all this yeah before you got amnesia from having to listen all these episodes

you forgot your own name because now you now you have to know uh nick valente you have to know about who nick valente is and uh how the owl lutz archives told us where disney quest was gonna be um well it seems like a pretty good experience that uh for everybody yeah i i liked it again i don't want to be wasteful so i can't i shouldn't take a lot of baths um but aren't you wasting the rest of the no you the truffle all went away yeah yeah the truffle is that's one shot i mean i guess you could cut it in half well that's fair i wanted a full full cocoa let me read it again full cocoa butter based bath bomb that fizzes in your tub and slowly melts away i wanted the full experience of that that's nice yeah i think this was so it was such a nice it seems like this place is so successful

that I think in honor of it that Chumbawumba should return and write a new anthem to this place called Tub Truffling you're speaking my language brother do you have lyrics for it Scott? I splash right down and drop the truffle in

and it conditions my skin again I prefer coconut And drop the truffle in. And it conditions my skin again. I prefer coconut. And it's fizzing in the tub again. There you go. I love it. That's good. Hey, thanks.

But it's up to them to write it. We need all 17 members of Chubba Wumba who were like, there was was something up with them they were like yeah what was the deal with them they were like uh terrorists i don't know i forget yeah they would say they say like shoplift our music they were encouraging people to shop that's right i remember that oh man right when the new radicals were encouraging everybody to storm the mall and terror put the security guards guards in cages yeah get beck and marilyn manson to run back to their mansions this is a violent time for dull radio rock yeah the late mid to late 90s the real we get mad about limp biscuit and corn but the new radicals and chubba wombo were the real threats yeah they were rab browsers yeah uh you missed all those bands uh such a keeper yeah i'm trying to keep up you're like what's up now billy eilish uh um kamea kamea

yeah it's almost cabrera which like ryan cabrera but that's not right no i don't know i'm not years ago already that's a long time ago it's extremely irrelevant yeah especially then um billy eilish is kind of bad and you're you're kind of breaking bad as we speak might be a good little role model i say sometimes it feels good to be mad that has become one of your sayings um so wait a minute this is it so we gotta wait okay so we like face a boss now right is the boss like a huge tub truffle are you gonna get inhabited by a big tub truffle that's fun because we're done well that's it guys well let's hold on this is a stage two bosses come at stage something doesn't add up my math is off boys boys you did it almost almost there's still

another bit to explore but you said the security, we made the exception for Rince, but the security checkpoint is the, that's the final, that's the end of it. That brackets it. But think of all the emptiness in this level. The AMC, you know all the emptiness in downtown Disney. Yeah, no, no, I get the poignancy. You know I'm getting it right. So you must fill it with something very ample.

A parking structure. Oh, of course. That's right. Well, I guess it does connect to Downtown Disney. It is the conduit That takes you to downtown Disney And yeah they recently built This new parking garage And

A pedestrian bridge Even more recently they opened the pedestrian bridge That gets you to downtown Disney Yes yes the pedestrian bridge 2 The pedestrian bridge 2 In one episode How are we going to manage That's a lot to tackle

you can do it boys you can do it and you'll have the help of a dear friend oh really well hmm i wonder who it'll be yeah uh let's let the rumors start flying it's only there'll only be 24 hours of rumors 24 hours of exciting rumors yeah yeah so uh let your imagination come alive what friend are we gonna meet in the parking garage and what boss and what are and will we finally meet the level keeper yeah will she or he be there god willing yes can we have you don't know the answer he doesn't know he's just sending us there you're right you're just we're on this journey with you we're on this quest with you schedules permitting yes okay yeah fair sector keeper can we have an item to carry into this

brave oh yeah we're gonna need something we need something to add to our inventory something from level five stage two yes yes the item that you'll put into your inventory to take into the parking structure from level five stage two is a hard hat from One, though? So we gotta decide who... Just one, yes. Share it between you three. Okay. Well, since Jason might still be a little weak from the screwdriver and the vapors,

maybe we want to put it on his noggin so he doesn't crack it open. In case, like, what if, like, a steam vent burst in the parking garage and you got a little tipsy again? Yeah. He may have some post-traumatic stress from the bath, so he could just, like, what if, like, a steam vent burst in the parking garage and you got a little tipsy again? Yeah. He may have some post-traumatic stress from the bath. So, he could just, like, fall into a...

Is there, like, a good version of post-traumatic stress? Yeah, I'm sure there is. Post-bliss stress? Post-traumatic bliss? Post-traumatic bliss. That's it. I guess traumatic's probably not going along in there either they toured with the new radicals they had a couple members of farouk result yeah one hit wonder mall rock um wow okay well

with that in mind and with item in hand or on head we have all survived level five stage two of the downtown disney ordeal and tomorrow it all ends i hope we all hope so tune in let's let you get that out man then we can end it. Smells like cigarettes. Cigarette flavored vape. Okay. Well, tune in tomorrow for the grand finale. And be sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Hashtag DDDO.

Hashtag save the level keeper, which hopefully we'll do tomorrow. And hashtag sectorkeepercricketwirelessseverance. wireless severance tweeted at cricket wireless and not at us yeah uh as you know from the underworld if you want more podcasts the ride uh then uh go to uh the patreon.com slash podcast the ride the podcast right the second gate for three bonus episodes every month so here we go it would have been good if we got a bath bomb And we could use a bomb in the fight But that's okay I just received a text message From the level keeper

He or she says You receive One Bath bomb Okay cool However You must cut it up and share it between the three of you okay that's fine uh do you know what flavor is the bath sugar cookie hell yeah

what a tease for tomorrow so as long as it doesn't get eaten uh in the interim and be sure to share it with your friend who will be helping you okay so we're gonna split it in four yeah all right like so then do we just like have four parts and then reform it i don't know i think we'll just kind of have to yeah on the fly see how we're gonna use it yeah yeah we'll it by him and see what he wants to do. Or her. Who will the guest be? We don't know that. Wake up tomorrow a.m. and find out. Oh, boy. Here we go. Sugar cookie.

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