Podcast: The Ride - Downtown Disney Ordeal 5-3 with Nick Wiger

Episode Date: November 25, 2019

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FOREVER! DOG! Darkness falls out on the street, evil rears its head Get your crazy shake to go and your fried donut bread The villains threaten this sacred place, this downtown shopping mall We must defend the Lego store and the Splitsville bowling balls The Downtown Disney or do you? We must protect our AP discount meals

The Downtown Disney or do you? What secrets does the Earl of Sandwich conceal? Boys, boys, my cousin has been taken by evil forces that have inhabited Downtown Disney In order to find them them you will need to thoroughly discuss every aspect of the mall stores restaurants both of the starbucks we have 18 daily very necessary episodes in which to do so i will be there to guide you and keep your conversations from getting too off topic or boring the downtown disney ordeal why do we do this to ourselves welcome to podcast the ride the downtown disney ordeal level five stage three final stage my name

is mike carlson joining me as always jason sheridan yeah i'm here yes and scott garner also here the most relieved man in the world this is it yeah made it what started as 15 became 18 yes is now zero and i'm sure we'll never do something like this again there's no way that's i don't like i don't like your tone i like the words you're saying but i don't like the smile with which you're saying it or the word or the way that you're saying it my fiendish grin maybe suggests that we will do this again. I don't know. We've got a lot to get to, though.

What's the order of bringing in people? Should it be our guest first? Let's bring our guest in first. Yeah, let's get him in. You all know him. He's from Doughboys. He's from a lot of other things. He's from the very special episodes of Podcast The Ride.

Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Weiger is here. Hi. How are you doing? You know him from his trademark high. I'm the high guy. That's me. Get your high guy swag at teespring.com. It's an important note to come in on.

Yeah. You come in all mumbly and low energy, top of a podcast. The whole thing falls apart. Yeah, for sure. no but yeah we got we got high guy stickers we got high guy shirts uh sweatshirts uh hoodies uh we got uh onesies for for your babies um we got it all you got a big ring on like a high school graduation type ring that's beautiful that's like that must cost like upwards of 500 bucks i spent a lot of money on my high guy ring uh but it's great especially if someone gets up in my face oh yeah fucking i'd like you know hold my fist up to them and then they they like they didn't make a move i fucking hit them

that you don't just threaten then you still hit i fucking hit them with the ring and they got a high guy like fucking imprint in their cheekbone. Like the Phantom. Like the Phantom, yeah, yeah. Much like the Phantom. The high guy is really violent. Well, yeah. I mean, that's kind of my energy, is that I come in, and I'm trying to be friendly and jovial and convivial, but if someone comes at me with negative energy, the high guy's going to be the buy guy.

I don't want to end up incurring your your rage but you know if you do when you punch the imprint actually says ih more like it's backward and guy is just unreadable so here's what's happening in response to that because i've found that after a few different melees i've gotten in a few different scraps i've noticed that uh when i've seen, you know, police photos or whatever. Autopsy photos. And so I'm currently financing. I've got a down payment on a reversed ring. Oh, fantastic.

So that's going to be the next stage of that. Then if I feel like I'm going to get into fracas, I'll just swap out the ring for the reverse one real quick. Oh, yeah, do a quick slide out. You've already got the relationship with the ring place. For sure, yeah. Jostens, right? Yeah, I'm working with the jostens people you know people good people they're great um people mostly know them for class rings but they're trying to expand into novelty uh podcast adjacent rings uh because they're jostens is always innovating uh check them out jostens.com and if you follow At Jostens And use the hashtag

Hi guy on social media You're entered in a code for a You're in a contest for a possible $25 discount off a ring of your choice This is great synergy because Scott doesn't actually know That we just agreed to do a whole Series about the Jostens class rings Oh wow okay

This is gonna be perfect This has nothing It's nothing even tangibly to do with theme park it does because if it's a high school is within 10 miles of a theme park crosswalks well yeah the sewer system actually very interesting we've touched on a little of the utility that places of this magnitude have to deal with. But Florida, once you start factoring in, like they run a small area. We have confused the bounds where now any object is eligible for a daily series.

Well, we have someone who can tell us if this, I mean, like if this sounds like a good thing or if we're staying in bounds, he's here. You all know him. He's side with me. I don't know. You developed a little bit Of a bond with him During the course of this

I think so I'm the cool uncle Help me out Yeah but The sector keeper Is here Boys Boys

You give me strength Hey Hi Mr. Weiger Ah there I love it I love it Man after my heart

Mr. Weiger too So official Like so I'm it. I love it. Man after my heart. Mr. Weiger, too, so official. I'm a high guy. Weiger, are you on TikTok? Is that how he's seen you? The high guys on TikTok? I'm on TikTok and OnlyFans. So check out High Guy on both those platforms. The OnlyFans content is a little bit, you know, it's for mommy and daddy, but...

I was trying to get Mike to sign up for OnlyFans a while back. Like, I was trying to get... But if you want to see that hiring wrapped around a hog, that's the place to go. Leaving an imprint on something different. That Twitter joke going around of the cost of streaming services and then high guy only fans like 30 dollars to watch the high guy jerk off this was supposed to save us money so yeah so you know him from there there, where he goes by his formal mister. Right.

Yeah. So, I had to see him. Stay away, though. Keep your distance. Oh, boys, boys, the final stage, final level, amazing. Yeah, yeah. The final stage of the final daily podcast series, right? We're going to hold you to that. Don't spring any more levels or stages on us okay

of course of course boys there's a lot to do let's just stay focused okay well what's okay what's in this stage on what yeah like what's going on tell us hurry up and help us out tell us where to go do you need a pole do you need to take quick pole yeah just give me a second. Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. Nice, nice. Flavor on that one? That's Junior Bacon Cheeseburger.

Oh, a Wendy's branded Juul? You got to ration those now. They were starting to outlaw even mint. That's crazy. I didn't know that Wendy's was making their own Juul pod. Yeah, Wendy's Juul? You got to ration those now. They were starting to outlaw even mint. That's crazy. I didn't know that Wendy's was making their own Juul pod. Yeah, Wendy's Juul pod. I figure if my high guy's coming through, I'm flying high for my high guy. I love it.

I love it. Junior Cheeseburger Mint. It's flavored after the size, too. Wow. Wait, did you say there's mint also in it, too? Well, yeah, they have to make, for a while, they had to make every flavor mint to get away with it. But now even mint, they're like eyeing to outlaw. So ration, yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

You'll only be able to get tobacco flavor. And isn't Juul having a lot of financial trouble currently i think so like yeah i listen i listen to a uh i forget if it was the daily podcast but yeah there's like a lot of i don't know they might not be around for that much longer dude fallen brothers they could be fallen brother so does that imply that we have to do a podcast series about all of the former flavors of jewel that are no longer available for purchase if they're within a 10 mile of any theme park i see i have one more thing before you read that i i'm i'm glad we were men we talked about your jewel use a little bit there was a comment on

reddit that i just i thought bared mentioning on the show um uh a paul g on our Reddit said, Sector Keeper loves sucking on jewels. Bugsy loves sucking on jewels. What does it mean? Oh, Hugsy brother. Yes. That's right. It clearly runs in the family, the love of sucking on something pronounced jewel,

but it can be spelled differently. Right. Because we did find out we've we've been talking about your cousins a lot but of course your brother is bugsy slash hugsy the 40s gangster who bothers us sometimes yeah you guys gotta have him back on i don't know about that man i don't know i think i liked bugsy more than hugsy his good version at the end i'm the most scared of having hugsy on can i ask you sector keeper are you and hugsy excited about the upcoming movie richard jewel um there's a bomb in centennial

yeah yeah there was yeah yeah yeah oh yeah he has to keep that's that's the trailer line they make him say that yeah he makes him sit down here and makes him say it yeah i want to see that and i want to see good Boys double feature. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah. We promised you a movie. But we can't get you to the movie until we've completed this entire thing. Is Good Boys still in theaters?

I was going to say. I think we're going to have to rent. No, it's not. We can go to that Dollar Theater in Pasadena, maybe. The idea, I think, was that if successful, we're going to go into the vacant AMC Theater at Downtown Disney. We have to sneak in. Oh, with a projector. Yeah, yeah. With our own. we were going if successful we're gonna go into the vacant amc theater uh at downtown disney we have to sneak in oh with a projector yeah yeah yeah yeah with my projector and screen from home and like in the empty shell of a movie theater uh we will watch a dvd or a stream of good boys

right and then a bootlegged richard jewell yeah bootleg yeah that will be in theaters but we won't be able to get a print can i can i pitch a funny or die video oh of course always i think if you like you were talking about wow sector keeper is a big fan of funny content yeah i always click funny oh that's good because you know if our video is getting the crypt our pay would be docked so yeah um we want those funny votes significantly yes significantly What's left to cut? But you know We were talking about it being the Jewel homophones If you did

You could do Richard Jewel J-U-U-L Like if you did a Richard Jewel trailer And it was about him Maybe the Jewel company getting in trouble or blow it like there's a bomb that is caused by a bunch of jewels at the same time yeah they could also do a they could do something with jewel the singer jewel she'd be she made up a couple i made a video with her at funnier day funnier day all-star jewel yeah she's down to clown and the funnier die all-star means that um you can get them in a branded video for uh two hundred dollars right two hundred thousand dollars

so right so like like a ucb actor is free and yes it's two hundred thousand dollars no pay but jewel would get two hundred thousand dollars yes sounds fair yeah we saw a leaked funny or die memo i mean they earned it their start yeah jewel and alfonso ribiero are our superiors so they deserve it okay so that all we have we've got some great video ideas before we can make any of it before we can watch good boys with you what do we have to learn about oh boys boys today you have to learn about and discuss pixar pals parking structure magic way pedestrian bridge in downtown disney surface lots wow surface lots so we're back we're back with another parking structure episode. I'm thrilled. Yeah, yeah. Here you are, continuing the series. Yeah.

It's too bad, like, you're an interesting guy with a lot of opinions. People on your podcast look forward to having, a lot of things you have, I think people,

well, I don't know. I think, like, it'd be interesting to talk to you about rides and stuff, and it's just too bad that we're not allowed to. We'll never hear what you think about any ride.

They'll never happen. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm okay with it, though, because for me, a big part of the theme park experience is you want a smooth arrival and a not-too-stressful departure, right? A kiss goodnight. Yeah, you want a little kiss goodnight. Yeah, exactly.

And so that's part of the magic. If it's just stress, like, you know, you go to a ball game or something that has, like, a terrible parking situation that's part of the magic if it's just stress like you know you go to a ball game or something or that that has like like a terrible parking situation and it's just like 40 minutes to get out of there no matter how much fun you had it's just like it's exhausting at the end of the night and you're pissed off you come out of there with with angry energy so yeah i i think it's a to me it's an important part of the theme park experience.

Yeah, yeah, sure. I had an unpleasant, I talked about this on the show not long ago, but I had a rare unpleasant experience leaving Disney where traffic was backed all the way up through the Mickey and Friends parking structure. Oh, boy. And that is because somebody died on the freeway one exit north. Oh, my God. Which it didn't even shut down the entire freeway. All it did was specifically fuck disneyland

because 10 000 people were leaving from that one point like one exit down uh so that was that was pretty hellish i'm not sure who to be mad at um probably i mean maybe the jewel corporation i think he probably died from inhaling too much yeah from too much jewel consumption certainly um but now i guess i can't complain about that one because i ended up then just uh drinking alone in the empty grand californian lobby at 1 a.m so it worked out for me um but you're right yeah seeing that parking structure just full to the brim with cars uh was was terrible disheartening for sure uh yeah and you're absolutely right and by adding this new parking structure which they have recent and like a lot of people on twitter have i think you've

probably gotten a lot of people tweeting at you about the progress yes this structure and and i'm sure you appreciate that and finally it's here honestly frankly i'm getting i've been getting hammered in my mentions uh since it was announced because i don't know if you guys recall this but i very much recall it that when I appeared on the podcast initially to review the Mickey and Friends parking structure, I threw out one of my trademark Weiger locks. My guarantee was when they made a new parking structure, they were going to name it the Avengers lot,

and each level was going to be a different Avenger. Unfortunately, that did not come true. They went with a Pixar Pals theming. Yes, so you were defeated by the power of friendship. Unfortunately, that did not come true. They went with a Pixar pals theming. Yes, you were defeated by the power of friendship. Yeah, so friendship, the theme between the two massive garages. Right. Pals and friends. Yeah, so it didn't

that didn't work out for me, unfortunately. I mean, you would say I would argue that the Avengers are maybe the ultimate group of friends. Yeah. But, you know, whatever. Well, they survived a lot. There's so many more of them than there used to be yeah i mean they're gonna make another giant parking structure eventually it might go in the place they were initially going to do it which is behind harbor

so do you want to make a prediction for next time they make a big parking structure right so i would say i'm gonna stay i'm gonna stay away from avengers because i think they don't want to lock themselves to a marvel property and i i'm also going to stay away from star wars because i think that's maybe a little too obvious i'm gonna say this is a little bit of a curveball but i think they're gonna take mickey and friends pixar pals and the next step the the dreamworks dudes they're gonna license the character they're gonna license for this use the dreamworks dudes they're gonna license the character they're gonna license the dreamworks use the dreamworks characters for the parking structure exclusively donkey the minions yeah well no minions is illumination yeah that's different from dream

yeah that's universal they don't oh they okay universal yeah oh but no dreamworks is like your i mean it's like shrek how to turn your dragon uh yeah i think how to take turn your dragon i think epic is under that umbrella oh nimgaloo no well now epic is actually fox okay epic is fox okay so disney i believe owns epic now okay i'm gonna change my prediction because this is i'm realizing the dreamworks properties i had crossed my head i'm Okay. I'm going to change my prediction. Cause this is, I'm realizing the dream works property as I had crossed my head. I'm going to say they're going to make it the Fox and friends slot. So there'll be, so Shep Smith,

Shepard, Shepard Smith will be there. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. There'll be, there'll be a Hannity level. They're going to have to change these names out frequently because people exit

Fox so often. Brian kill me. Brian kill me. It'll be on there. That guy who they're like, this is our funny guy. Yes. Greg Gutfeld. No, no, the other funny guy.

Oh, I know who you're talking about. Yeah, the guy who reads text from his mom, his liberal mom on the show. Text from his mom. Calling him a disgrace. There'll be a Kennedy level um she's a prominent personality oh that's right yeah yeah dennis miller is he on enough um i think i think he's in the family sure yeah he might there might be like some just you know in the same way that the

the luxo ball is used in the pixar oh yeah it might just be dennis miller might just be kind of be the face of the the lot a big revolving fountain of Dennis Miller's face. Right. Okay. That is a little bit left to center pick. I mean, a right to center pick, actually. Right. But, you know.

Okay. Well, that's a lot. Is that a lock? Are you giving that the wider lock? Wider lock. Okay. Great. We'll see.

We'll see. 2022. Yeah. I don't know when they're going to get it together. I don't know either. Can I ask a legit question? Where would they build it? Do you have any sense of the acreage that's reserved for another structure?

Well, they were building, they're still building something behind Harbor. They were going to build this whole thing behind Harbor Boulevard, and it was going to be, like, they weren't going to do Pixar pals there. I just flew a bunch of dog hair because i was petting edwin about a bunch of industrial park kind of properties and they're demolishing it but it requires create like you creating this weird path between hotels there was going to be a pedestrian bridge over harbor that was essentially going to choke out the businesses on harbor which is what the city was upset about right and instead of just saying well we'll leave a little space for

them to walk down to go to the business on Harbor, Disney said, fuck no. We will not let the businesses on Harbor be patronized. So they moved. Which is why clearly, this is why it's out of bounds. Disney does not want anything to do with the Harbor businesses and it's why it has to be a separate Harbor hoedown.

And that couldn't have been part of the Downtown Disney World. Now you're getting it? Yes. Now I'm going to propose another idea, which is never doing the Harbor Hoedown. Huh. Okay. But won't people want to know what you think about Captain Kidd's Buffet?

Supposedly the worst restaurant in Orange County. Wow. Yeah, Captain Kidd. A sector keeper favorite. Do you know about restaurant ratings, though? What? I think they might be in a C or a D. Oh, boy.

Restaurants get ratings like you do at school. I forget if you ever went to school. Buffet gets homework? Sort of. It's close that. Sorry to explain. Not quite, but yeah, kind of. Yeah, we'll explain it off mic, I think.

Okay. Is Captain Kidd, is it a franchise? Are there more than one? I don't think so. I feel like I've only seen that one ever. And Captain Kidd is a pirate. I guess so. Yeah.

Is he a little kid pirate or is he an adult the more questions you ask the more it's becoming likely that we have to do this the boundaries are the metal detectors i have been clicking with the sector keeper this entire time thank you sk all right well i'd like to go ahead and say let's start with the surface lots let's go in reverse order and build to the grand pixar pals parking structure okay fair enough it's going to look forward to okay so the surface lots now these are important because this is where you if you're just going to downtown disney this is really where they want you to park uh the entrance is off of magical way uh the logic way sorry magic way magic way well it is i mean it's magical but sure it is magic yes magic way is the official road so uh they are the

stitch lot that's after you go past the guard booths you make a left that is on google maps labeled the stitch lot and their stitch lot signs sure and now what would that character sound like if he said ohana means family ohana means family very good just checking in now to the right of the guard boost when you're going in uh is the limo lot unfortunately we don't know what she sounds like i'm not gonna make you do that no so uh this is where you're probably gonna end up if it's not busy and this is where they were gonna build the first when they were gonna build the luxury hotel the smaller version was to get built on top of uh the stitch lot now if it's crowded you get sent down the road past the paradise pier hotel past the disneyland hotel

uh and you end up like in overflow lots which when we went to ralph brennan's that's where we got put yes and we were we were driving down with our guest jason walliner and when we saw the sign saying oh we're gonna have to go to the further lot uh you in the back of the car were like oh this will give us something to talk about yes and i was like will it uh i've parked here before and i actually think it's pretty convenient you just come out right by the disneyland hotel by like the rose garden that's a certain hour they maybe forget about validation and you're just waving everybody through that's happened yes oh that's nice yeah don't you know don't count on it yeah because i left after ralph brennan and i when they first put the ticket in it said 46 but it was validated luckily so it became

zero um these are your heart really jumps in that moment doesn doesn't it? It's really scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. $46. That's like allowance for 10 years. There's been a lot of inflation, though, since you got locked in your state in the 90s. I'm not going as far. Batman. Yeah. He kicked our ass. You know what?

He's still at large. The other bosses we have kind of dealt with. Mr. Wiger, be careful. Evil spirits are in play. Well, you know, if he comes at me, the high guys got him covered. Oh, yeah. I forgot about it. Yeah.

I'm so glad we have... You brought your own inventory item. You brought your own weapon. Smartest guest we've had. The overflow lots are the Zazu lot and the symbol lot and they all kind of blend together why does that zoo have a lot it's a great question yeah organized and about rules but symbol and epic takedowns of donald trump the new zazu is not old rowan atkinson's hair he couldn't have foreseen the rise yeah i i will say that i just i think natalie's parking my wife my wife natalie who came with me

on our our most recent trip and has come with me for most of my adult disneyland adventures she was convinced that the entirety of the downtown disney parking structure was the symbol lot like like like not structure rather the surface lot she thought the whole surface lot was the symbol lot and i think that was because she we park there in the symbol lot one time and she just got that stuck in her brain um yeah but it is it is like kind of confusingly portioned out it does get confusing because sort of gated off. Like, hotel parking is around here, too, for most of the hotels, except the Disneyland one. So, you went down.

Did you do a Disneyland trip, or did you just go down and park and leave? What, for this episode? Yes. We parked and left. Really? God bless. Yeah, well, I mean, I had an experience of the pixar pals parking structure and i feel like i needed to get some first-hand experience so yeah we parked and left the the downtown disney service lot i couldn't justify reparking there for that because i've had that experience before i parked there before so i'm

familiar with it yeah yeah and and uh it's been a little while since i parked in the down no actually i because i parked for for dough boys uh my chain restaurant podcast we went to the espn zone shortly before it closed for good oh you made it in there we made it in there and that was the last time i parked in the downtown disney surface lot and it's fine i just i feel like it's very bare bones like there's nothing exciting about that lot that that that lot at all why we only have to do like 35 minutes yeah we can limit our time it's like parking at a suburban best buy it's like nothing it's you know like a like a courtyard marriott it's like a normal parking structure and they've eliminated a lot of the weird like the the free hours and the ways you could kind of gamify being able to park at

the park go to the parks and park there for free so i have no interest in going in that like uh yeah they they cut off all of the the free or cheap options essentially so it gets very complicated with validations and stuff like you cannot if you go to a restaurant one of the hotels you want to park at the hotel and the table service restaurants for that hotel will validate there. They will not validate for Downtown Disney. If you want to get validated for Downtown Disney, you need to spend $20 at a store

or a quick service restaurant, and that will get you three hours. If you go to a table service restaurant, they'll validate for five hours. And this is kind of how they're preventing uh hacks hacking the system to get free parking and carly wise i'll give us a very good tip of course i am conflicted about it's the starbucks 20 gift card loading and i would like to declare officially that has been a very uh mentioned thing during this ordeal on social media

people in lockstep agreement with me about this being an injustice having to do with apps and making you load $10, $15, $20 instead of just letting you pay the amount you're paying on an app. For sure. Very annoying. People agree with me. I have won this. You're right, because they want to take the float. They want to basically be a bank and be taking the float on all that extra money that they have deposited in their accounts.

$3.02. I have declared victory. I have declared victory. Let me parse out a different issue here. You can take victory on that. I think what I'm against less, like, hey, if they offered customizable reloads, I'd be in support of that. I think what I'm more against is you being upset about a different thing related to apps and math. Because you already have like 100 of them in your brain at all times.

So to find a new one. Well, that's just my brain. Dressing you out with every visit. But it's these companies wanting to minimize the number of credit card transactions because they get hit 20 cents or so a transaction. I don't give a shit about lightening the load for like target or dunkin donuts or something yeah suck it target suck it uh hey that's don't speak ill of ceo target brian cornell well he's the man with the target plan but i mean it's the same thing as then like do you want to round up and give some of the money to charity and it's like no don't do that just give the money to charity yourself they are getting the tax write-off from that charity like

oh you think i shouldn't do that i do that a lot i mean just just do it yourself well that was some real virtue signaling there wasn't it no i guess it was but i'm saying is it a bad thing to do that well it's your the i mean the money does go to charity but then like target gets the tax benefit of that going to charity it is bad yeah i yeah it's not like bad it's not bad but it's it's your they're taking advantage of your goodwill as a consumer i honestly i didn't think about this yeah it's a similar sort of thing it's like you know i do it so often i just don't think about it it's like because i'm just and honestly sometimes they'll be like upset because i try to get like they'll be like sir you can't give like an extra that's more

than your order yeah i'll give like a 20 and i'll say just put this in it and they're like you can't just write a check for a thousand dollars don't it's very generous so interesting yeah i also i didn't i know and carlson i know you do get a lot of, like, points for, like, airlines and hotels. And you're always using programs to donate those to veterans so they can go home for the holidays. Yeah. And I know that that's, like, very nice of you. But you, like, that's not your responsibility. Well, it's just a thing that makes me feel good, you know?

But you're spending a lot of money that you don't need to spend to get more miles to send veterans home for the holidays and i feel i also been driving veterans home yeah for the holidays well that's the other thing because you know you bought that that escalade and um so you could transport more more veterans personally i think it's starting to affect you poorly i mean you said can you bring over one of your old barrels and straps? Because, like... I asked you if you could. Yeah, so you asked to borrow one of my old barrels, because you were like, my clothes are threadbare, and I've given most of them to veterans organizations.

You've got 10 or so, so you have ones to spare. Here's the thing, that there's a size difference between you and Sheridan that means that the barrel that you're borrowing from him is not leaving a lot to the imagination. Yeah, you're Donald Ducking it pretty hardcore. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like it's the barrel is a kind of a halter top, honestly, for me.

Yeah, it's just like a shirt. You still need pants. Yeah, you still need pants. You need separate barrel pants. It's like a baby Huey barrel shirt. It's one thing if you're a duck, but're a man i had to hide the casamigos beefy tea t-shirt from our from our inventory you know you were gonna give it away oh well yeah charity is that something in our inventory yeah randy gerber's company with george clooney the

premium tequila casamigos tequila i would have tried to stuff it inside one of those red buckets outside of a store when someone's ringing the bell. Yeah. Yeah. You got to just, thank you for, you got to just stop stuffing your possessions in those like this. You don't go like you,

I saw you trying to put a PlayStation four into the salvation army bucket. The, the sand, the guy ringing the bell was trying to stop you. Was he? I thought he was trying to help. He was taking my arm and he was pushing it in toward, I thought. I didn't think he was actually pulling it out.

It felt helpful, honestly. I think he was restraining you and saying, you don't need to do this. That's weird. Because I heard go, good. You're doing the right thing. You didn't hear the word away after go. And you didn't hear the word away after go. And you didn't just do that once.

You took me around town and you said keep the car running. You distributed like a hundred PlayStation 4s. Tell those veterans go to the bathroom later. We got 20 more PlayStations to give away. Yeah, look, I'll think about this now. You've aggravated the people at the parking at Disneyland too because you were just like, everyone go ahead of me. You keep saying go ahead of me. And the parking attendants are like, no, sir, please just go and find a spot.

You don't need to let everyone ahead. You are blocking. That's just me being polite. Yeah, but it's dozens and dozens and dozens. But Jason's so frugal blocking that's just me being polite yeah but it's dozens and dozens and dozens but Jason's so frugal that's expensive

yeah time is money to Jason it's true and the face is crunching up you know you love

to see it you love to see the bit about Mike being a maniac ending with jason getting dumped on the prestige oh great great we done with the surface lots oh i don't know uh I will say, I don't like that it's the right, like, I like an angled park. I don't like having to pull in at a full 90 degree. The perpendicular lines, it's a tougher turn. It's tougher to back out.

I just, I don't love it. Sure. And that place gets, and it's a parking lot next to a magical place. So it should be more magical, like the magical perpendicular parking of Pixar Pals. Right, yeah. Give me that angle. What were you going to say, Carlson? I was going to say, all of this, it's outgrown the resort.

For sure. Like it has to be set at the same time. For sure. That classic podcast phrase. For sure. Enthusiastic for sure. You guys are going to become the for sure boys oh boy i could only dream the rings needed on tiktok where you like pop up and it's like for sure and then back

out it's way more popular than this podcast i learned i learned from the master nick over here was my sketch 101 teacher a decade ago well i heard and that was a bit you guys thought of then yeah this is the thing is that part of being a sketch teacher is that you also, you learn a lot from your students and Sheridan brought that for sure thing to the table. And I was like, this is, I was like, I encourage you to like run with that. Like that's your thing. You know, it's like a Jeff Ross is like the roast master. And for years he like didn't want to be the roast master general and eventually embraced it like

you gotta run with your hook and you're for sure is what you're we're all about but you guys needed to wait for the like the right medium you needed to wait for for technology to catch up which is why tech talks perfect venue yeah yes yeah for sure for sure

that one was a little yeah you gotta stagger it you don't want them all. Yeah, you got to stagger it. You don't want people to get comfortable. The other thing we learned in sketch class is that by class two, half the class drops out because they realize there's a lot of homework in this. Yeah, maybe you're an adult with a job and you don't feel like having to spend a couple hours of your week writing a sketch for something that you paid for i mean that's not like a fun way crazy no yeah uh yeah they need to build parking structures for the in these lots honestly yeah right i don't know if that's even in the plan i don't think we've heard anything we haven't heard any on the rumor mill anything about that

but i feel like it's it's got to come soon but like they want people coming to these places like friday and saturday nights on the weekends and it does suck when it's like you're getting routed all over yes it's confusing and hard just to get like a burger it is what are you going to but like how logistically it feels like closing that surface lot for enough time to build a structure seems like oh that seems untenable like how are you gonna do that i guess you'd have to do it in sections well that's kind of what they did to build pixar palace i think like was was that previously a surface lot that was a lot that got it uh yeah i believe it's employees and tram parking and stuff okay yeah so i eventually these

are all going vertical maybe and the and the disney employees will be pushed further and further away like i think some of them park currently at angel stadium wow it'll be like that'll become like the park at the ontario raceway like it's like the simpson episode where i think we've made this joke before or someone has the homer rollerblades to work but he's parked right behind his own house yeah yeah the power plant uh yeah it'll yeah it's i wonder if like once they build another giant parking structure maybe they could actually offer similar incentives for pixar pals or mickey and friends because now we'll talk about the walkway that makes it a lot more convenient honestly it used to feel like much more of a of a hike but this is really what allows us to talk

about pixar pals because it would have maybe been outside the bounds but with the addition of the downtown disney pedestrian bridge that now brings it that that literally connects it uh so that we're able to use it as a topic so thank god can i hear the official name of the walkway again jason uh you know they just call it the pedestrian bridge but a lot of blogs are saying the magic way pedestrian bridge because that's what it crosses over i've seen it as a downtown disney pedestrian yes and other people calling it the downtown disney pedestrian bridge we need an official word on this um it's not just the bridge though that's is that that the only part? Because it feels like the walkway is new as well.

The whole ramp is new, too. Yeah, they manicured it and added a lot of lights and planting and stuff. I like that bridge a lot. I love it. The bridge is fantastic. It was just, I was like, I texted Carlson that, like, while I was on it, like, this owns. It's very very very good i will say that natalie was a little disappointed because she was expecting like the golden hand hands bridge in vietnam

like have you seen that that it's this amazing structure where like two hands are holding up this this bridge she expected something that was like really grand and maybe thematically you know tied to disney and it's not really that it's kind of a functional sort of thing you might see at a corporate campus but it gets the job done and it's it's great what i was feeling was and we we got there in the late afternoon and and you know again we we parked we took the pedestrian bridge to security we turned around and then we left uh but i will say that the it must be great for families for kids to get energy out on that pedestrian bridge instead of being like on the tram and they're just like they've got all this energy they're like just like ready to go and then when they are unleashed in the park they're just animals you

know it must it must be nice that your young kid can kind of like run out a little bit of that before you get into the park proper sure sure get sure. Get them sleepy a little bit. Did Natalie need a lot of selling on doing this? Oh, she was furious. No, yeah. The relationship is frayed. It ruined her Saturday. I will say that we... The way I cajoled her into coming along

with me is that we went to a restaurant that she really likes afterwards. It's in Orange County. So shout out to a gabistro if anyone likes a vietnamese food check it out garden grow you're gonna say captain kids buffet well so here's the thing captain kids buffet there was just a huge line so we went there that was our first choice and then we went to gabistro as our backup we we hit we tried to go to mimi's on harbor boulevard second also like a 90 minute

wait there so then we went to gopistro yeah and all people like dressed to the nines to fancy suit like real hollywood agent types waiting to get in yeah i think there's a lot of big shots who are in the theme park industry um who dine it you know they have power lunches at uh at the mimi's so yeah they have their mimi's booth you're. Yeah, they have their Mimi's booth. You could beat them with that crowd. Sure, sure. It's tough. I do want to say I was incorrect. The Pumbaa lot is on the other side of the property.

The lot that closed to build Pixar Pals, I'm still trying to get confirmation. I think I just got my P's mixed up and it's the Pinocchio lot that closed. I think that is right. Is that correct? Yes, yes, of course. Of course. No wonder. That correction gives me strength.

You look scared ever since Pumbaa was said. You were sort of like keeling over. I thought maybe you were going to die or something. Oh, yes, thank you. Anytime there's a time lapse between a factual error and a correction on a podcast, I just think of the listener who is just thinking about that

for the entire duration like the 12 minutes are passing and that's all they're thinking about is i'm just praying to my god no one drove off the road and that incorrect inverting two character names two beloved characters who names most start with p's their parents asking the police so what happened but also that's poor show on disney's part because the poombalot being on the other side of the property from the simba and zazu lot yeah why not poor show poor show yeah that is confused you're right uh speaking of poor show i kind of had that feeling with regards to the the aesthetics of the pedestrian bridge and particularly the walkway

in that it just feels so generic like and i and my guess is that that was a that was intentional i think that they were looking at it and we're like we don't want this to be a thing where we need we need there to be a flow of pedestrian, we don't want this to be a thing where we need, we need there to be a flow of pedestrian traffic. We don't want people to be stopping for photo ops, but there really isn't just any sort of hint of Disney at all. It's just, you know, it's nice greenery,

but it just feels like a, like a nicely manicured sidewalk in a, in a, you know, planned community. Yeah. Yeah. It's,

it's, it's boring for sure. It runs parallel to the monorail track at one point but if you don't hit it at the right time it's just an empty track yeah that's there's there was no real exciting monorail encounter when we were walking it what would you say i mean i don't want to get to i guess we could do plus ups as we go well what is it do you have a plus up idea off the top of your head i think if just a little bit of, you know, maybe even just like a light effect

that's just like a silhouette of like Donald or something on the walkway, you know, just like a little bit of a shadowy, you know, Mickey ears or something like that. I don't know, just something that feels kind of Disney. I guess like probably a standee would be too... Like the Apollo 13 standee at Universal Studios? Yeah standee would be too like the apollo 13 standee at universal studios stairway that might be too much but i i mean i think there's some subtle disney

effication you could do of it there's one thing there is one thing there is a little like metal plate in the ground on the bridge that says no dumping to ocean and it is a a kind of abstract representation of flounder okay mermaid right so look for anybody taking this bridge look for that that little easter egg there is one character and it's a very tiny flounder but i think those are i don't know that that's exclusive to that bridge i feel like there's more of those throughout a bridge exclusive not a bridge exclusive also not a pixar character oh i see yeah yeah you're right it should be a good point yeah so it should be i guess because it's connected to pixar pals it should probably be pixar should be nemo nemo

yeah yeah or there should be more now did you let me ask you this did you go to tram loading no we did not go to tram loading we skipped tram loading i mean took the took the escalator down to where that would be just to sort of get that escalator ride experience i'm not go to tramloading. We skipped tramloading. I mean, took the escalator down to where that would be just to sort of get that escalator ride experience. I'm not trying to skip ahead to Pixar Palace, but... No, no, no, it's fine. I think we're ambling over there. How did you get into the garage?

Did you enter on Magic Way? Like, it has its own entrance. We entered on Magic Way, yeah. Yeah, we went... I did the Maps app in the car straight for the the parking structure so i just followed it oh you can do that you can enter it separately yeah yeah that's yeah it's not always open though so it's i think it's open it depends i honestly they don't have hours posted i tried to go in last time not open i had to enter through

mickey and friends uh but it looks like that's a much better way to enter yeah it was pretty convenient i mean again we went it off hours but on a weekend and it was pretty it was pretty easy to get in there i will say that we so so here's a little bit of a uh of a of a specific to the vehicle we just acquired we we got a chevy bolt which is a an ev and so natalie had the idea of like hey let's see if they have ev charging we didn't need a charge but just to sort of see what they had and so we went up there the the cast member working in the parking um structure entrance was very very helpful and we i we asked like hey is there ev charging and he was like yes it's on the third level but there's's no guarantee that there will be available.

And so, here's what happens. Have you guys parked an EV there before? Yes. My cast, yeah. So, you get the little blue. I took a picture of it in case you need it for your social media. But you get, like, a little blue thing they put on your windshield. And that tells another cast member later on to guide you specifically to the EV level.

Right. And so, unfortunately, this is a thing I've learned in my short time owning an EV. One complication is, yeah, you don't have to get gas, but you do have to deal with Tesla assholes at fucking charging stations. And that's a big thing, especially if they're in short supply. And there, it was basically all Teslas, parking all of them. And so, there wasn't a free one but we also had another and i'm sorry for monologuing a little bit here but we had a we had a little encounter with a tesla asshole oh so we went up to we're going through they wind

through the cones are a little confusing level three was blocked off so the guy had to like move cones to guide us over there but he saw our blue tag like a little late and was like and so we stopped and he was telling us to back up but this tesla suv was like parked right behind us and so we turned on our you know our reverse lights the guy would not budge and he was just like sitting there and we're like trying to gesture at him and he was just like you know kind of giving one of those i'm just giving the expression i'm making is like it's like what are you gonna do you know he's getting one of those kind of the cast member came over and was like was like sir can you please back up and the guy was still not budging and he was like sir i'm just asking you to back up a little bit so they can get

up to the third level and it was like a whole ordeal and eventually he like kind of like got in a pissed off way agreed to back up like as little as possible and then we we zoomed up there and the cast member came up to us and we were like thank you uh we said it nicely we're like thank you thank you so much and the guy the cast member goes that guy was an asshole whoa the disney cast member said bad words sometimes it feels good sometimes it feels sometimes it feels good to be bad but that guy must deal with a lot, like, you know, panicked parents, and he must deal with a lot of stressed out people in the parking structure for him to really be like, that guy was that bad.

I was like, man, that sucks. He handled it very well. It also seems like they did not build enough EV stations. They definitely did not. Because you've run into this a couple times now. 100% do not plan on charging your your car there it's there's there's a an outside chance one will be available but more it seems like they're mostly going to be occupied yeah and the app also tells you because there's different

apps to tell you if there's a charging station nearby and the app will sometimes be wrong too it'll say if it's green it usually means there it available. But that is not the case with the Disney. Because I checked two days ago. It said available, not available. There's like 20 spaces. Yeah, there's not enough. I think part of it, too, might be I didn't have any reception inside the Pixar Pal structure. So it could be that maybe there's some connectivity issue with the stations. And the app updating, I have no idea.

What they should do because they they uh they i it depends sometimes they load from the top down i feel like sometimes they load from the top up i don't know but they should have them on two levels so maybe you get your first like bunch of cars that come in and do it and then like a few hours later when they're finally loading on the top they're loading you up there and then there's more available for people to come midday or later. Because people that park in the morning are parking there probably all day. Yes. So they don't need to be there all day, but they're not going to come back and move their car.

For sure. So, Dr. Kiefer, what do you think of that plan? Vehicles are electric now? Yeah, some. Kind of. Some are. Yeah. It's a magical world. Wow. First few generations of them. You of. Some are. Yeah, it's a magical world.

Wow. First couple, first few generations of them, you know, plugins, I mean. Oh, wow. So you like plug them into an outlet. Like a Nintendo? Yes. Yeah, like a Nintendo, I guess. It's a similar concept.

And driving a car is like driving a big Mario Kart. Oh, yeah. No shells, though. Not equipped with shells. Mr. Weiger, will you take me driving? Sure. Give him lessons? We can borrow Carlson's SUV.

There's some veterans. There's veterans in the Escalade right now. They're in the Escalade. They're honking. You trapped veterans? They're not trapped. i left them some trail mix in there and they obviously they know how to like survive well is the window because it's like kind of hot outside is the window lock on because you might you might have trapped a bunch of veterans in a hot car oh the window lock is on oh yeah see yeah that's an issue yeah can you lower it via an app or do you have to go

physically out there uh i can download the app i have to download it all right well that's less time and then you don't have to break from the pug yeah they'll be fun i i will say about the pixar palace parking structure i don't love the theming because the theming instead of being based instead of each level being a character each level is a movie and I'm just like that's it's harder to remember for some reason and it's also not on

it doesn't connect with what we've established with the Mickey and Friends parking structure it's not a true second beat of the parking structure it's close because of the pals like it's like Mickey and Friends Pixar pals obviously the parking structure it's close because of the pals like it's like making friends pixar pals obviously you're saying it's friends but yes it should be single single characters or if they're a duo together like chip and dale or something duos and trios like pals

hanging out together until inside out because inside out is just inside out and the little emblem they use at least in the whatever sign i'm looking at is abstract yes inside out is not those aren't what emblem are you well oh you're looking at a different yes i am we should have coordinated our pixar pals parking emblems yes but uh the emblem doesn't matter the point is inside out is not friends there are friends in the movie but you would not call that group of people inside out no for sure there so level one incredibles level two coco level three cars level four monsters inc level five finding nemo level six inside out we parked on level three cars again i just wanted to be the cruiser amir as level or something like just give it just take a character give me the give me the lightning mcqueen level

give me something because it almost feels like they're not trusting Pixar's properties to break out characters enough. And I think they're wrong. Yeah, people know that level two, they would recognize the characters of Coco and the Bone Man, a character I am assuming, I cannot remember his actual name, so I am assuming he goes by the Bone Man. Coco and the Bone Man.

And you're also you prove my because i always when i see the boy i call him coco but that is not coco and i've seen the film and i know that's not true but still every time my knee jerk is oh look coco i forgot his name is not coco yeah so yeah you yeah i don't know that name offhand but the other guy is for sure the bone man so this is why this is answering the question people don't know that name offhand. But the other guy is for sure the Bone Man. So this is why. This is answering the question. People don't know these characters. You don't think people know.

Okay, first off, they're not including Toy Story at all. And I assume that's because they already have the Toy Story surface lots. Yeah. So that makes it a little bit difficult because those are their most identifiable characters. But I still think Mike and Sully, people know those characters from from monsters inc but what is nemo's father's name i've been sitting here trying to think of it does anyone know it off the top of the head i don't know it marlin marlin yeah okay oh yes that's actually that's kind of a funny joke yeah it's funny i thought i thought he was just nemo's dad i didn't realize he had a character

name i think so yeah dory Dory? People know Dory? People know Dory. Dory, I would think, would be the most recognized. Well, besides Mater. You couldn't do, I don't think, Dory, Marlin, Nemo. No. I think you would get confused between the fish. Yes.

I think you take one character from each of the properties, and then you just make it like that's the equivalent of finding Nemmo level is the dory level you know and people or the nemo level and people will associate it with that property with that franchise and then also they have a character that they can remember and that's fun unless you take one of pixar's most beloved franchises and just name it all based on that and that is the good dinosaur sure sure you have the arlo level the thunderclap level the downpour level the closest i ever came to walking out of a movie the cold front just remembering all your pals you know forest wood brush purvis you know that thing when you start making a movie and you hire a voice cast

for an animated movie and then the entire cast leaves or gets fired and they get replaced by a different voice cast and that also happens with directors and writers that did that happen in this yes did everyone get replaced yes but i so but in my head steve's on will always be thunderclap how could it have been someone else i i read something a while back and i i don't think this wasn't i think it's been said a million times but like i hadn't seen it before that like most pixar movies is are about people doing their jobs and your job is your life and the job of the good fuck shit. Wow. Like I got so mad. The catchphrase,

the line in that movie that they keep repeating that is supposed to be like, uh, pathos is like, you are me and more. And I'm just sitting in a movie theater, just move squirrelly in my seat, just going like, I hate this.

It's up there with Tomorrowland's There Are Two Wolves. Oh my God. I didn't even know that. I saw it too. I just refuse to believe that there was ever anyone else as Bubba besides Dave Boat.

Dave Boat? What? bubba besides dave boat born to be bubba um okay so they fucked up obviously i wonder if they did like a survey i they do surveys about everything so they probably did like an average survey of like, who is this to people? And it was coming in under a certain percentage. That's my guess. I mean, I think they... They need to remember the character to know where they parked. No, I get that. So that's like, I would imagine like if dads were scoring under 50% on recall.

Right. Like, who is this dad? And then he's like, the car The junk car The car The junkie car But I I think I think that Lightning McQueen and Mater

Are probably the two Most recognizable Besides Mike and Solly I think Mater is number one Mater I think is probably Number one Dory number two They did a quiz

And dad Like didn't get He scored zero He didn't get any of them Until Mrs. Incredible Came up And he's like Miss O

I do declare this is incredible her name's helen helen is her name um the guy by the escalators doesn't even list the incredibles as level one because you there is no escalator for level one obviously so it's just the luxo ball oh yeah okay but yeah it is clearly when you're walking around there's incredible signage yes but do we like that ball, the ball fountain? Yes. That's neat. I think it's cool.

It's a nice photo. I mean, that's a very Instagram-like photo op sort of thing, I think. I will say that I don't think the ball is as iconic as the Mickey ears. And they're using the Mickey ears. I mean, obviously, what is? The Nike swoosh, I guess. But the McDonald's M. ears i mean obviously what is the the nike swoosh i guess but the the the mcdonald's m but the mickey ears are like the the iconography of the pic the mickey and friends and then the they're using the

luxo ball for the pixar pals i don't i don't know i guess what else would you use there's really nothing that's equivalent to the mouse ears and the lamp is already used in various places yeah the lamp wouldn't work so i guess it's pretty good i mean it is a very recognized you don't realize how recognizable it is john lassiter with outstretched arms waiting for a hug you should enter v you should enter under john lassiter's arms you're driving your car in to get a hug every now and then the music is interrupted to say where my hug at

probably one of the worst phrases in the English language did he say that I don't know I think that's just a thing that was from an affidavit or something is that a phrase where my hug at where my hug at you know that's a thing like sad dudes say is it yeah

that does sound familiar. Yes. Yeah. The kind of guy who's only physical contact with a woman is like via the unspoken thing that like you hug any female acquaintance. Hello or goodbye. Right. There are those.

So this is a friend of mine I could picture who's like, that's like his one chance is that. Yeah. That like old hug. Yes. I don't believe in and I try not to do. I hear it. The expectation makes me uncomfortable i like to i like to give handshakes to everyone but people are some people are expecting a hug and so that interaction is hard to navigate i will say that the other thing

that that you'll see from that um that kind of guy is the unsolicited uh shoulder rub like just like kind of going behind of like oh yeah you, you're tense, you know, and just start giving a girl a neck rub. Yeah, it's, yeah. Yeah, don't do that. Even I know don't do that. Well, you have good manners. Yeah. You just inherently

know, even though you died in the fountain before the meeting. Yeah, everyone should know. We were talking about the Luxo ball a little bit and they kind of carry that through the rest of the garage in addition to the statue the trash cans here you can see you have it the floor the elevator uh has it that's good i think that's a big thing a lot of people are commenting on this this garage a lot more elevators than the mckean friends what like it's easier to navigate yeah three instead of one more elevators although i'll say we parked in a in the middle aisle and we're like oh here's an elevator and went over to it and it was a cast members only elevator oh that's not great very like um i felt naughty

someone make fun of you no one made fun of me but like there were no there was no one in there was just us in there and then we were just like oh wait the buttons aren't working and then we saw the sign and um it felt uh yeah i think if i was a if i was a guest i'd be a little confused and peeved sure um i don't't think... Yeah, there's... I don't use the elevators a lot. I mean, obviously, they're probably for like kids' strollers and stuff more.

So I guess I should have done some better journalism and done all the elevators to make sure. You really should have done each and every elevator. Yeah. And the escalators kind of all

are in the spiral sort of thing. I like the spiral. I like the spiral. I'm a big fan of the spiral fan and I think it's a better cooler setup than the mickey and friends just big escalators it's got kind of an architectural landmark now yes it looks better it look i i also like i like the greenery on the roof and then the if you look from the outside the lighting on the levels is different there's like a different

coloration um which which is very pleasing to the eye to me the comparison is because it very it very much is just another mickey and friends but just a little nicer yeah it very it is kind of like the win and the encore in vegas it's just like they built another one right next to it and then it's just like a little newer so it's a little classier a little snazzier sure but they you know they need to like pair well they need to seem like two parts of the same hole so you wouldn't want to go radically different for sure x wise well and also uh they they do connect these garages connect and the pixar pals doesn't have an exit no you enter the mickey and friends garage in order to exit that was confusing yes that was we were we were going to the exit now he was driving and we were making turns and she was

like wait so is there no exit i was like oh because we're now in mickey and friends and we're like did we go the right way or did we just get turned around and then we eventually gleaned that that is the only exit um that it has a separate entrance but not a separate exit for mickey and friends right which maybe maybe does that get backed up i don't know we weren't there at prime hours absolutely so i can see it getting backed up so i don't know yeah i don't know what that what the thinking behind that was i think you there is a way to get out the way you come in on magic way but i don't know if they just never route people that way

yeah we leave that day when we were down there with the sector keeper i'm trying to think did we leave video going out the other way oh yeah it can be done it can be done but maybe they just never have it open maybe it's rare that it's open i get bummed in both of these lots every time anytime you're like ready to go and if you're especially if your car is a little close then you probably have to do the most circuitous like longest path all the way back around right doing doing that big giant loop and then having to merge with cars again uh is annoying but that's something that annoys me after i you know have gone to disneyland for the fifth time in a month so so the tiny thing to complain about i think i honestly yeah i think like it's

it's a little annoying but the only thing is bad and it hasn't happened to me is when that thing is backed up like crazy which i've seen videos where that thing is like crazy like you're just stuck in a gridlock but maybe they do open the other exit if that's the case i don't know it was i believe this lot was open when i had that when i was there for that disaster day uh with the freeway issue um and it yeah it was horrible it was like it totally affected pixar pals do they had no way to get out of there yeah i mean i think they want people thinking of this as just one big parking structure because you know there's that speed ramp that sort of goes right to the parking garages in

the morning and exit the garages at night you know there's not a separate there's one entrance excuse me bless you for pixar pal you all right take your time no i got something in my throat oh no oh oh stall uh quick tell the randy gerber story again well that's jason's story to tell i would never take that away from him that's his favorite story where you just get a million dollars from your friend. Jason, were you drinking out of a canteen? What is that? I have one of those. Oh, it's an old school. It's like

a wood finish on the bottle. I see. Oh, boy. You alright? Take a sec. Let's edit this out. Sorry, there's something caught in my throat it's also a touching subject so we're all

we're all on edge okay I think you were saying the speed ramp in was the last thing yeah the speed ramp in was with the last thing yeah uh the speed ramp in that they switch around at night to get people take another minute i'm okay um it's something you're really struggling to get those words out i i've recovered um just like i sounded where i did i did a uh i i did all the stage directions for a table read uh uh when i like which is a lot of talking you're talking more than anybody but i did i did very well i like i i didn't mess up one word of the thing i was like

this is great i don't know how i'm doing so well i am on fire and then it got to the end and i made it and the director said hey jeez and thanks scott for for getting through all those words and i was like and i coughed my lungs out right there like i made it all the way to the end until the end and then uh uh that's saying what this project was uh molly shannon was there and laughed at me and said oh that's so sad i did i did stage directions at a table read once and it it is you know it is exhausting and mentally taxing and also not fun because you're like you don't get to read any jokes or anything, especially for comedy.

But afterwards, the one bit of gratification I got is that afterwards, Chris Parnell looked at me and was like, hey, man, great job on those stage directions. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll tell you. Somebody with one of the best voices in the biz. Who's got better pipes than Parnell? Yeah, geez, That's true. Very good.

That's why he's the hamburger helper. I do like that he's that. And I like the hamburger helper hand, I will say. I like him too. I'm fond of that character. Yeah. Yeah. Jason's favorite character in fiction.

He helps hamburgers be made. He's the hamburger helper. Yours is Henry from Country Bears? Nah, yeah yeah it's a nine-way time it's a nine various country bears all the bears uh i think what i was driving at is they just want people thinking of like just follow the signs for disney parks parking they don't want weirdos like us going like well i'd rather park in the pixar pals they have the indicator lights and they haven't retrofitted all of mickey and friends with the indicator lights yet yeah so the indicator lights are a red and green light that tell you if somebody's in the spot so you can be able to see down a row yeah how many like you can see oh it's mostly red i shouldn't go down this row it's not

exact no it's like there's not one light per one spot. Yeah, it's imperfect. These are always annoying. Yeah. I think it's a thing that seems great in theory, but in practice because the accuracy has to be there. And because there's enough of a fail rate where sometimes a red

is unoccupied or sometimes a green is occupied, it adds to the frustration in terms of searching for a space it reminds me of being at the century city mall which i don't know your feelings i am always annoyed to be there yes especially that lot that i got really lost in there once i got lost for like half an hour a truly cavernous and confusing lot with it's it because i so many entrances as many ways and levels to go on talking about the westfield century city mall yes yeah yeah yeah it's crazy that one's crazy it's confusing and and the i i

try to take the bus when i go there so partly because i don't want to have to deal with that parking but it you sometimes have to go there because it has an imax screen and it's some and it's like the for instance when i saw the hobbit 2 in a high frame rate that was the one theater that was offering it so i just i had to suck it up yeah howard hughes no imax howard hughes does have it um but they don't always show the same things yeah yeah well so fuck the century city mall no ordeal about that i'll say that right here and now all right yeah i don't think there's a there's a much reason to do an ordeal for that

one right so we're all in agreement we're all in agreement it's just down the list way down the list yeah that's all this does on that just way down yeah i agree it's it's not coming up in the next two years it'll be in 2041 i'll say this this. The Pixar pals, I mean, I think we've all gotten lost to Mickey and Friends at one point or another. It doesn't help. It's technically kind of two garages connected by like foot bridges. The Pixar pals just one garage. And I think that is why the Pixar pals is around 5,000 spaces, whereas Mickey and Friends is around 10,000 spaces. Oh, wow. So it's like it is around 10,000 spaces. Oh, wow.

So it's like, it is half the size. I didn't realize that. They look like they're the same size. They look like they're the same. Yeah. Let's get negative here. The lighting sucks in the Pixar Pals versus Mickey and Friends.

It's dim. You think so? It is dim. I don't know why it's so dim. It's weird. They spent all of their lighting money at the tram loading on the ground floor which is the best part i think of all of this is tram loading now down in these parking because tram loading is bless you tram loading

has music there's like music playing and it's got characters on the wall and it's a much more pleasant experience than tram loading ever used to be yeah it kicks off your disney party party begins before you leave the parking garage that's right and then you get to see some of you get to see the outlines like what you're talking about what should be on the bridge they're doing in the loading area they've got pictures of the pixar friends right silhouettes in the silhouettes uh a point of much conversation when this garage first opened because there was this weird blobby thing and everyone like what what fucking character is that

and then they fixed it and it was clearly supposed to be eva oh okay wally but her arms were closed her just looks like a sausage she just looks like a manatee yeah and everyone's like is this a new character is this how they tell us oh that's a little leak but it was just a bad job and they had forky ready to go real fast after oh it's open around the same time as toy story 4 and new characters already represented uh-huh that's fun yeah yeah um yeah so that's that's that's the best place. And that's got a mood lighting. That's got like Virgin America airplane lighting in there. Is that right? Yes.

Yeah. Which is fun. Dear depart fallen brother, Virgin America. Yeah. Good airline. Yeah. Very good airline. Of course, if there was one good airline, it had to be taken away.

Yeah. It really sucks. That was really fun. I drank absinthe on an airline. Damn. White ones. Oh, yeah. You did Skoll.

Oh, man. Well, you do that on an airline flight once. Oh, yeah. You did Skoll. Oh, man. Well, you do that on all airlines. But they can be the biggest dip cup. Yeah, and they gave you, you can order dip from your console in front of you, the screen. You make a flight attendant. Was the Epstein plane Virgin America branded?

Oh, yeah. All I know is I'm sure Richard Branson was on whatever plane it was. That's all I know. Seems right. Yeah. So I don't know why. I mean, it would be nice if they would do like this cool lighting in the parking structure. I guess that's too much to ask, but just give me some more light.

I don't know what the hell is wrong. It was oddly dim in there and i attributed to the time of day we were there we're kind of like you know the sun was starting to come down and so i was like oh maybe it's not fully lit but that to hear that that's just how it always is that's interesting that's that is definitely a negative yeah uh people on message boards blame bob chapek for this for cheaping out on lights because maybe do you need to double the lights that Does he make that granular of decisions? Ask the lights.

According to mousechatter.net message boards, yes, he does. He's responsible for all of it. I mean, wherever they can cut costs and maximize profits, that seems to be the company's thing for the last 20 years or so but what if people get robbed or children are abducted i don't care i'm jay peck as long as i have their money you can spend the rest of their lives on a sex boat i mean there is i read something that like when attendance is up that of course of course, causes petty crime. In the parking structure?

Well, just in the property in general. Like in Florida, when there's more people there. Speaking of crime, as Jason and I were walking back to my car, we saw two empty white claw cans in the Pixar Pals parking structure. So there was petty crime. Someone was partying. Oh, boy. In the Pixar Pals parking structure. So there was petty crime. Someone was partying. Someone was partying. Wait a minute.

And then that person wasn't around? Almost like they disappeared like a ghost? I don't know. Wait a minute. Let's just say I needed to refresh a little. Are you drinking White Claws keeper i tried a few bad man nick mundy gave me white claw oh he did oh god did he give you i believe it yeah i believe it too he said he said you want to be like a one of the good boys And he meant the movie good boys, not us good boys. No, yeah, he meant Tremblay.

Did you go on an adventure with him or something? Did you go to Vegas with him to see Steve Miller Band? Yeah, that's exactly what we did. Oh, man. You knew it. Yeah. He floated that idea to me, but then it all of a sudden just never came up again. Yeah, he picked me up and gave me a variety pack of Kodiak's Chew.

Wow. White Claw flavored Chew. White Claw flavored Chew. That's really gross. I know. It was a bad decision. Don't tell my parents. Okay, we won't.

We won't. This whole thing is very shocking to me that uh nick mundy followed up on something he suggested huh that is this is very very hot in my experience i don't know a way out of this. Well, I guess I should say apologies to Nick Mundy for tagging the wrong Nick Mundy on Twitter

for tagging a member of the band Sister Sledge. Great band. That's what we have to apologize for. Nick Mundy. He does not play in the band Sister Sledge. It's like Warren Ellis. It happens. It's like Warren Ellis, the comic book writer,

and Warren Ellis from Nick Cave's band. That sort of thing, I'm assuming, happens a lot. Sure, has to. We're very good to the person who suggested we do this podcast. Yeah, yeah. We really treat him with the highest respect? And look, we all love money.

Money's great. Yes, of course. Yeah. And he's busy because he's hanging out with so many ghost children. It's true. They went to Vegas.

Yeah, you got lucky this one time. So, the Virgin America, we have to really wind back here. We were talking about Richard Branson.

Wind down? Do we have to wind down? Well, I was just getting, I have to really wind back here. We were talking about Richard Branson. Wind down? Do we have to wind down? Well, I was just getting, I was actually getting riled up. So yeah, I think that like, that's the best part of it is for sure the tram loading, the circular thing, the lights got to change, the indicator lights, they have to figure that out. I get the idea of it. This is you being riled up yeah

my adrenaline is pumping i've never been in a parking situation where those green and red lights functioned correctly they i've never been in one where it's just like oh this is this is as accurate as it needs to be for this to be a bonus not a not a hindrance i also think often when you go to the americana at brand and glendale that when they tell you how many spaces are filled i don't think that's accurate oh yeah in the least which is another thing to say yeah that's bad about the americana brand and therefore at americana at brand memes yes i agree with that try to defend that one just try valiant effort this week but uh nice try try again yeah fake fake parking i was gonna say news but it's not news it's

statistics i guess fake stats fake stats fake stats unreliable uh fake board fake digital display yeah um i think the ceilings in pixar pal a bit lower a little low a little lower it makes me feel a little more claustrophobic and darker everyone's favorite quality it's about a parking garage yeah i don't know again is that a chapek cheaping out he's like no cut the cut the height of the ceiling cut the cementrecious cement Are there more Are there more levels Than the Mickey and Friends Are the same height

Same height Same number Same number of levels They're even The weirdest thing about it Is they have to be even So what's the point Of the lower ceilings

Yeah I don't get it That doesn't make sense to me We should have Added like a construction Worker on here To tell us what Was the thought behind it Let's pause Go out to the street, find one.

Okay. They're actually one of the veterans in my car. I bet whoever we find, oh yeah, get one of the veterans. Yeah, he worked construction in the military, so he could maybe tell us. He's stuck in your car. Right. Yeah, he's fine. I'm driving him home later.

He's fine. He's driving him to Santa Fe, New Mexico. We're going to stop in Vegas, too. Go see Steve Miller. Park MGM. Money's tickets. Money is season tickets to Steve Miller in Vegas. Should I sell my seats this week, or you want to come along, Dieter?

Subletting your Stephen Miller van tickets. Did you say... Stephen Miller? Oh you say Stephen Miller Oh no Oh no I didn't mean that Oh the joke The Stephen Miller band Another Funny or Die video

Oh yeah Got some blowback for that one What's the fly like an eagle Parody Fly like a white nationalist. Fine. Yeah, good enough. Yeah, we got three more of these to crank out today.

We can all agree. Great exposure, though. Very good exposure. Very good exposure. You're getting savvy, Sector King. Our careers took off after it. Yeah, if you appeared in a video next to the Steve Miller, or perhaps in this case, the Stephen Miller.

A man willing to, one of the people willing to still do a Funnier Dive video. Right. Yeah, Stephen Miller as himself, or, you know, you start off like, hey, we're gonna cast, we're thinking we're gonna get Brendan Fraser to be Stephen Miller,

and then eventually uh you settle on um hey we've got uh a guy who knows french stewart french stewart's friend is gonna play stephen miller's friend yeah you know i was gonna be shot in a big mansion and like with a bunch of cranes and swooping cameras and they said can we do it in front of green screen and can we do it in 15 minutes also can we put it in front of green screen? Can we do it in 15 minutes? Also, can we put the green screen up at your house? We don't have any issues with office space.

Can you cook craft service, please? Yeah, good exposure. You're right. Good exposure. Great exposure. The Pixar pal, I mean, they needed more parking. For years, they've needed more parking for years they needed more parking but then they went and opened a star wars land that somehow course corrected the

overcrowding problems of disneyland killed the park that killed yeah so they don't need they could implode this now but we're gonna hit christmas so it's it's been crowded i've been seeing things have been filling up to capacity like parking have been filling up to capacity. Like parking has been filling up to capacity lately. And Halloween got it going. So obviously they needed it anyway. If we weren't, it seemed pretty full. We were routed to the third level because, specifically because of the EV reason. But if we looked at how the cones were laid out, it looked like they were taking us up to six or seven, whatever the highest level is.

So it looks like that was where cars were being cordoned off to. Yeah. I mean, so it's necessary. It's not like this thing's sitting empty. Yeah. So, I mean, the problem is I do feel I'd love to fully say this is slam dunk way better than Mickey and Friends. But the fact that I feel like it's dark and and low like it feels when the actual parking experience itself this is a core if we're talking about the parking experience itself you've

had difficult times with this electric vehicle stuff yes it's less it's less good parking yeah this is the meat of the experience it's less good parking than when you park in mickey and friends but you're probably right is that a trade-off with a much better tram loading and secure security experience because there are queues now for like get in this row for the tram there's not people fighting on roads there's pleasant music playing it's the most pleasant security gate i would say yeah i agree 100 get backed up so i did it back i was i went with my mom and the backup was so like it we lost like an hour hour and a half it was at the tram yeah wow really yeah i don't know if just that day was insane that's right i've never seen that yeah and like it was very unclear like like some line like you just didn't know where a line began and ended and

uh i don't know yeah that's frustrating yeah yeah yeah my mom passed away oh no buried the lead there fainted and uh i should have reported that on the podcast buried the lead on that one yeah jesus just give up why keep trying like uh uh like joe biden no way he's gonna keep fighting to the end. All the way to the White House. I was going to say Padme Amidala. Oh yeah, it was like Padme. Biden's kind of like Padme.

They're very similar figures. Ineffectual. Biden kind of looks like Anakin before he was put in the dark. His eye is pretty banged up in that third movie. That's the Sid, but just before election, they got to put him in some big suit and then it'll be fine. How's he looking there? Don't worry about it.

I'm going to say this this i've only been in this garage a couple times now i feel like there's probably not enough signage for the pedestrian bridge because you have to use level two the pedestrian bridge is on level two and i think if they put up more signage that would cue more people to like oh let's just walk let's just walk let's skip the it's confusing to the point where i was we were wandering through the garage we ended up at that cast member elevator which which i mentioned we started actually like doubling back towards the mickey and friends lot because we're like maybe it's that way and i just uh i googled it and i didn't have like it there wasn't clear

so i i texted carlson like where's a pedestrian bridge and then he was like oh it's you have to go down to level two we're on level three and you have to take the stairs like you have to go all the way to the end where the escalators are take the stairs down to level two and then or i guess you could take an escalator down there depending if you wanted to go all the way down and then back up yeah and then um and then and then it's accessible so it's very unclear how you get there if you're a novice. Yeah. And the pedestrian bridge is great. And I would just say, like, in terms of the, if the Pixar Pals lot, even though it's got some negatives as compared to the Mickey and Friends lot, needs to exist for that pedestrian bridge to exist, then it's worth it.

Because that pedestrian bridge is great. Sure. But it is confusing in terms of how to get there. More signage would be very helpful. I think, too, the dedicated security at the tram loading and dedicated security by the old ESPN zone where if you cross the path that ends the pedestrian bridge walkway, you get your own security right there,

and it's separate from the security for the people coming from the disneyland hotel so i think that is uh smoothing things out a little more security checkpoints i didn't realize that and realize that was his only cue so we're saying that pixar pals is more uh it's a little worse it's a little more confusing a little more unpleasant than so the other parking garage we've addressed. It looks nicer from the outside. There's some decent things about it, but on the whole, it seems like it's kind of a little encapsulation of the

Downtown Disney ordeal itself. Less good than the last one. More confusing. More confusing, but a lot of high points. But more polished. Maybe that's not true. More confusing. More confusing, but a lot of high points. But more polished. Yeah. You know? I would argue maybe that's not true.

Well. We kept notes. I kept some notes. They remembered what the items were. You used three pieces of loose leaf paper instead of one. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Instead of any.

A couple of loose white claws, just like we had a couple of episodes where we were drunk. It's still possible on this episode. Yeah, we got time. So, yeah, I think that honestly, the good stuff that it ushered in is worth the less good parking experience.

So overall, it's a net positive. For sure. But I do think if they could just brighten that up if they brighten it up it's really that's most of the battle they can't i don't think they can raise the ceilings well again we should ask that construction uh veteran that guy who used to you know work as a foreman he probably would know if logistically you could raise the ceiling i'm guessing you're right i'm guessing it would be impossible yeah or yeah very hard but they could definitely add some signage in terms of how do you get to the pedestrian bridge.

That feels like a thing like paint something on the ground. Like paint like a big, like this way, pedestrian bridge. Yeah, for sure. I think they should really be advertising that more. Because I think the idea sort of, at least my idea for the first few years was, this is a crazy walk to take from the parking structure to Disneyland. But it's not that bad. It's not.

Especially when you're factoring in that bridge and the fact that you can get right on the monorail if the monorail is open. I think it's delightful. And I think it's a great way to start and end your day. I think we're very pro-bridge. We're very pro-bridge. So pro-bridge it it usurps some of what's a little more

negative about the Pixar Pals garage yes I agree I think a lot of this would be alleviated too if they

got another garage on the other side of harbor to serve to direct people coming from

south of Anaheim because they're causing everyone coming from the south to go essentially

around the resort to come to the same garage. Everyone coming north of Anaheim is going to. Well, Anaheim just has to let them completely shut out all the other businesses so they can bleed them dry and then buy that land cheap. Yes. And hopefully do that before any of us have the idea to have to do the harbor hotel insane uh banana republic-esque reedy creek improvement uh district that runs the florida

property have a west coast equivalent to run what will happen though yeah that's that could happen i think though they'll just make that more of downtown Disney, and it'll make us have to do more stores. Jesus Christ. Because then, yeah, once they sell that land to Disney, then they'll just build more voids, cupcake stores, milkshake stores. More places to get a burger that is fine. Yes, a lot of fine places. So that's coming.

Yeah. Did we do it are we done does anyone have a final thought i mean final nick you're the parking expert you're our parking expert yes what are your yeah i thought it was a you know i i think it was a just to summarize it's a it's a very nice parking experience um i think going at off hours, it's a little bit more confusing because there are fewer cast members to guide you in terms of exactly where to go. And the cones alone, I feel like, didn't necessarily get the job done, especially if we're going to the dedicated EV level. That was a little bit confusing. Not enough EV charging stations. don't love the theming looks better from the outside but the inside's not not as great and uh but the pedestrian bridge is wonderful that is that is like great and that make that alone makes me want to go back to disney so um yeah i mean should i did i i think we talked about i think plussing it up and then

such i think already i mean i think just yeah we also stopped doing that so long ago yeah we don't ever make yeah it's not an official segment it's sort of just we're using it out right it kind of gets worked in if anyone misses that let us know yeah yeah you know yeah if you want us to do like a really hard version of it at the end we can maybe do it yeah you want to be able to make a little like chart and a graph like you guys get with the the forks people do like that stuff people do like making spreadsheets so you know might maybe a thing to consider you ever check your old your spreadsheets just to like remember uh like oh yeah that one two and a half years ago there was a guy who was maintaining a

golden plate club for for doughboys or chain restaurant podcast all the the the rankings of all the restaurants and then at some point and i would refer to that sometimes because i was trying to remember like oh what did we give you know olive garden the first time we reviewed it if we're going reviewed a second time oh you actually consulted it yeah it's handy to have but then i think he's lost interest in the podcast and stopped updating it. So then it kind of like. As one day will you. Yeah.

Yeah. Hopefully. Hopefully soon. But yeah. The archive kind of ends in like mid 2018 kind of abruptly. So there you go. If he was responsible, he would have found someone to take it over. Yeah.

You'd wish. But you know, hey, whatever. He was probably in mid 20182018 he was maybe he was canvassing for a house of representatives or something just lost interest in podcasting maybe he got elected maybe he's in the house of representatives i'm remembering that now that it's actually it was a representative katie porter who was maintaining it so she i mean she's got she's got other things to worry about yeah yeah yeah absolutely um well now there's only one way to know if we if we finished well yeah well i don't even know exactly what happens here boys boys you give me strength okay and i just received a text

message from the level keeper on his or her prepaid cricket wireless phone. Yes, of course. Oh. Boys, the boys, the dark spirits, they're emerging again. Oh, no. What? Can't you read the text quick and then we

don't have to deal with that? He says that the walkway is no longer a walkway or a bridge. It's a bridge of souls. And the evil spirits are emerging. Shit. Boys, boys, I'm scared. The clouds are coming over. No.

All the little indicators are flashing red and green. The indicators are turning black. Mr. Weiger, you should run. Or maybe you should stay. Oh, yeah. What did we decide? No, you should stay. You should stay. Are you going stay Oh yeah what did we decide You should stay Mike you should check on the veterans

On the escalade or are you gonna stay I think I should stay Is there anything I should be doing Sector keeper Is there any reason to get out of here No no you have to stay No I do but Mike had a no, you have to stay No, I do, but Mike had a reason No, you have to stay

Yes, yes Jason, you must as well Boys, this isn't good Oh no Oh no, it's Nick Valenti It's Rick Wetzel What? It's Robert Earl

We killed all these people It's Ralph Brennanel. What? They're back? It's Robert Earl. We killed all these people. It's Ralph Brennan and Dan Aykroyd. They're taking over my soul. All of them? Oh, my God. All at once? Hey, it's Nick Valenti. I'm possessing souls over here.

Oh, shit. We killed the other one. You, fuck you, fuck you. Wow. Well, well, well, isn't four pots of gumbo piping hot and horny, isn't it? Brennan's back, too. That's right. You bastard.

You're the one who propelled us to the underworld. In episodes you can still listen to at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. That's right. behind a gorgeous paywall I mean I did like that part of it but the rest of it was horrible you trapped our friend Eva yeah that's right and if you want a free Eva and Jason Wolliner and

all your friends didn't you have them all captured they're all captured and they're in Mike's escalade they're all sitting in my escalade those veterans that's right shoot trapped in a small space this must have been stephen miller's plan i am from france oh no the excellent very accurate dan Aykroyd is back. Nanu Nanu. Oh, no.

All of them at once. Guys, this is overwhelming. You four have a lot of nerve coming in here. Who's this? This is me, Rick Wetzel. The regular voice. Hey, a regular voice. That's a good idea. What?

You're stealing your ideas again. Of course, the thing Rick Wetzel does. Everybody's backing up to their old tricks. It's almost like all of our items did nothing. Yeah, yeah. They did nothing. And don't forget about me, Robert Earl. Oh, boy.

Oh, of course. We know all about you and what you did to us. Lifestyles of the famous, sounded ass, Robert Earl. Oh, of course. We know all about you and what you did to us. Lifestyles of the famous sounded ass Robert Earl. Your sandwiches were okay at best. So you boys think that you can just waltz around my

parking garage. That is what we think. Cross into my area. My district. It's yours now? You took over the parking garage? I took over it. See, boys, you forgot to take a peek inside the ESPN

zone. We didn't. That's where my whole operation is. Oh, yeah, we didn't go in. It's off limits now. It's closed to the public. It's closed to the public. That's where your machines are that pump new life into those spirits that we killed? Yes, that's right. That's right. And I don't think there's anything

you can do about it. Oh, I don't know. Do we have anything to say? So says you. Well, the good news is that the level keeper texted me with one of his very last precious text messages. He or she. He or she. Yeah. And he replenished all of our items. He or she replenished

all of our items. Oh, wow. or she replenished all of our items. Oh, wow. We have the full stockpile again? We have the full stockpile. Wow. I would love to hear what that is. Well, you're gonna. It's a sourdough loaf signed by Nancy Silverton and her husband, Mark Peel.

Three black aprons. Two pizzas from Tootie Rudy's and fornication pamphlets. Hey, Tootie Rudy's. Rudy Giulianiation pamphlets. Hey, Tootie Rudy's! Rudy Giuliani, that's my best friend. God bless him. We're gonna fuck you up with those items just like we did before. I'd like to see you try.

I've got diplomatic immunity. Is that from Rudy Giuliani? Yeah, Giuliani. He gave me diplomatic immunity. I mean, he's in some hot water, legally. I mean, I don't know if that's gonna stick. Ah, he lives for that shit. Let me ask you this, are you starting any other restaurants with him recently?

Or trying to? Yeah, we're gonna open an ice cream parlor. Okay. Well, is there a gimmick to that? Nah, it's mostly just Rudy scooping ice cream. Sounds like you guys are running out of steam. Yeah, it sounds like the same idea as the pizza place, but it's just... Hey, Rudy scooping ice cream.

Now that's a good idea. No, don't steal. Is there no honor among thieves even? You're going to steal Nick Valenti's idea? That's right. I'll steal his idea. I'm a fucking idiot. Hold on, hold on.

They're fighting with each other. They're fighting with each other. They're fighting with each other. That'd be the secret. Hey, I am from France. Hey, watch it, buddy. I don't care where the fuck you're from. Unless it's lower Manhattan, Wall Street, one percenters, you can suck my fat ass. Wait a minute.

Ackroyd's not going to take that lying down. He's probably going to beat the shit out of you with his harmonica. Yeah. Does he have his trademark harmonica with him? Oh, he does. He does. Nanu Nanu, I am from France. Who you going to call? Ah, Da Bears?

What the fuck is this guy talking about? While they're distracted with each other, a jug of oat milk, a sparkling pink backpack filled with suckling pig, a boot that I can hop in from Sanuk, a medium-sized skull pin, a chocolate chip cookie pint glass

filled with milkshake that has collapsed. Nothing because Ralph Brennan kicked our ass. An open skull container, a thin mint cookie bear filled with organ meat, a paddle, I think, a pitcher of sangria, our little Lego avatars

that we've been carrying in our pockets this whole time. That's right. A super-sized, party-sized, toasted Earl of Sandwich Gobbler for the holiday, Randy Gerber's Casamigos tea. That's a big, beefy tea. I don't like that one. And a hard hat from the Unbuilt Luxury Hotel,

plus a sugar cookie bath bomb that the four of us have to split. Four of us have to split evenly. Huh. Wow. That's an incredible amount. And I'm sure we can remember what all of them are without them all being presented really big in front of us in some way. Yeah, that's true.

Well, Jason, get in the boot first. All right. I'm in the boot. Nick, put on this casamigos beefy tea okay i got it it's barely fitting that's right it's thick and tight and i will change into my other my alter ego micademus the evil character from the void vr oh that's right yes become micademus but Micademus. You can only do it with the magical

song that imbues you with evil powers. Da-na-na. Hey. Da-na-na. Da-na-na. Hey. Look, he's dancing and kicking on the stairs in Mike's apartment. Hey, I'm Micademus. Maybe I need to

crank that pitcher of sangria. Scott need to crank that pitcher of sangria. Scott is just drinking the pitcher of sangria. Whoa, I feel good. I feel better than good. I feel incredibly violent. Yeah. His muscles are bursting like Popeye. Popeye rules apply.

I want to burst some skulls. I'm going to give a little to Lego Scott, too. What do you think, Lego Scott? I want to burst some skulls. I'm going to give a little to Lego Scott, too. What do you think, Lego Scott? I want to burst some skulls. Lego Scott just got jacked. Yeah, jacked as a Lego can be. Nicodemus, zap him with your electric energy. Yeah, here it is.

Zap. Great. Ooh, damn, that hurts. He can't move now. Kind of anticlimactic. I'm expecting something more spectacular no i thought it was cool as hell as cool as something in the void now i'm gonna bash his brains in and when it's done jason get in the boot and stomp on his brains until they turn to powder die die die die

die you fuck off oh good remember this is the sector keeper's body. Oh, that's right. Well, we'll figure out a way around that. We'll figure it out. Fuck, fuck, punch, punch. Sangria energy. I'll bring the sector keeper back by showing him his favorite brand of celebrity tequila. Look at my shirt.

Look at my shirt. Oh, boys, boys, casamigos, casamigos. Although not so fast little one jason hit him with this in his weak spot jason wait fragile skull i'll hop on him in my giant boot no not my sourdough skull you're it's made of sourdough that's right because it's patched up don't forget this is the sector keeper's body oh that's right i rebuilt it after ied up. Don't forget, this is the sector keeper's body. Oh, that's right. I rebuilt it after I... Okay, okay. Go for it, Jason.

Mike, what were you going to say? I was going to say, Jason, why are your clothes off? Yeah, why is this one naked? It's for aerodynamics, you fool. Okay, fine. You can move. You can hop higher and faster. I can hop higher.

Sorry, sector keeper. That's right, boys. You did it. You did it. They're all gone. They're all dead. They're all burning in hell with Jeffrey Epstein and Joe Biden. I'm so proud of you, boys.

I can't believe you did it. Wow. Thank you. This was an exhausting one. This was an exhausting one. Even harder than the City Walk saga. I'm really proud of all of us. It was supposed to be 15 episodes. became 18 episodes you went to the underworld

and folks if you haven't listened to that yet i highly recommend going to patreon.com slash podcast cast the ride it's behind a paywall but some of the best things in life are well that's true yeah oh i thought you were gonna that's true. Oh, I thought you were going to say then free. That's what I thought you were going to say too. Are free. Are free. But also some of the best things are behind a paywall. And behind the paywall, yes.

And that's available actually, obviously. And folks, and don't forget folks, to use the hashtag sectorkeepercricketwirelesseverance. Wow. Wait a minute. So if we're done with this whole thing, isn't this where we finally get to meet the level keeper we get to find out who the level keeper is isn't it it's time to finally meet you're the

favorite person you know in your entire universe we get to meet your cousin boys boys it is i the I, the level keeper! You did it, boys! You saved me from the evil spirits of downtown Disney. Now I'm free to upgrade my cricket wireless prepaid plan to a cricket wireless monthly plan! Yay! My dreams have come true!

But guess what, boys? It was never just me. You see, I was It was never just me. You see, I was trapped with many other cousins who are all keepers of different lightly themed malls. Now you must visit them and record a daily podcast series with each and every one. Oh, no. Look, their spirits are ascending!

And listen, they all have messages for you! Oh, God, I've got a bad feeling about this. Boys, it's me, the Disney Springs Keeper. I drowned in an Amphicar. Free my spirit by visiting all 180 stores and restaurants. And meet me at the Build-A-Dino, the Build-A-Bear in the T-Rex Cafe. Hurry, boys, hurry. No, I'm not doing that.

Boys, boys, I'm the keeper of CityWalk Orlando. Professor Toothsome is going to murder me unless you say what's different about our voodoo donuts, Menchie's, Cinnabon, and Fossil. They're much different from Hollywood's voodoo donuts, Menchie's, Cinnabon, and Fossil. No, they're not. Don't let me die, boys.

Boys, boys, I am the keeper of Harbor Boulevard. During the wild Harbor Hoedown, you'll discuss one of the most exciting streets in the USA. From the CVS to the Social Security Administration Building, there's so much fun to be had on Harbor Boulevard.

Oh, and another fun aspect, the Harbor Hoedown will have a video component boys boys i'm the keeper of the king of prussia mall in king of prussia pennsylvania it's a large mall next to a second even larger mall we're gonna have so much fun together boys boys i am the keeper of the American Dream Mall in New Jersey. We just opened a Nickelodeon amusement park which includes three Ninja

Turtles rides. But remember, discussing those rides will be off limits when you embark on the event of summer 2025. The American Dream Disaster. Boys, boys, I'm from the Lansing Mall in Michigan. Our hula hands just closed.

I'll see you soon. That was sad. No, no, I don't want to do that. Boys, it is I, keeper of the Citadel Outlets, off the 5 freeway on the way to Disneyland. Sad sack. Come, learn about our facade based on the castle of King Sargon II. Oh, boys, I know

we'll be best of friends. We will not, no. Yo! Yo! I'm the keeper of the island at Pigeon Forge. We got a Ferris wheel and a landlocked Margaritaville hotel.

Oh, that's good. I need your help solving the mystery of the Yeehaw Snack Shack. Giddy up. Go home. Boys, boys, I'm the keeper of the Venice Beach Boardwalk. You gotta swing by. It's real crunchy and mellow. I'm sitting that one out. Close, at least.

Boys, boys, we are the keepers of Studio Village, You gotta swing by. It's real crunchy and mellow. I'm sitting that one out. It's close at least. Boys! Boys! We are the keepers of Studio Village, the strip mall down the street from Universal CityWalk. What? Our spirits are trapped in the greeting card store, aptly named Card Heaven.

To free us, we need you to answer a variety of important questions like, do you like the font choice on the Western Union sign? Yes. What is the computer processing speed of the Wells Fargo ATMs? variety of important questions like do you like the font choice on the western union sign what is the computer processing speed of the wells fargo atms and what is the computer processing speed of the coin star machine in the rouse we must know the answers see you soon boys boys boys boys it's me commissioner evan susser no as you know Hershey Park is building a new entrance called Hershey's Chocolate Town. And guess what?

I'm the keeper of that. Lucky. Now, the Hershey Fountain, it's not even built yet. But boom, I died in it anyway. Boys, boys, I'm the keeper of San Diego's Horton Plaza. I'll teach you about our La Salsa and its giant red vapor. How many of these are there? Boys, boys, it's me, the Keeper of Americana Brand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just a regular guy, see? Ain't no tricks up my sleeve. So just mind your P's and Q's and we will have a beautiful time. Capisce? And, uh, Secretary Keeper, why don't you, uh, why don't you keep sucking on that jewel? Why don't you keep sucking on that juice? Why don't you keep sucking on that juice? He's sucking on that juice. He's sucking on that juice.

Stop. Boys, boys, I am the Keeper of Orlando's Crestland Shopping Center, right outside Gatorland. And I am the Keeper of Settler's Green Outlet Village, the mall 10 minutes down the road from New Hampshire's Amusements Park Storyland. I can't wait for you to come here and save my spirit by thoroughly discussing and reviewing our boot barn. They have lots of interesting types of boots. Oh, you have a boot barn? We have a dress barn. Ooh, does the dress barn carry boots? Because boot barn carries dresses.

I will reveal all once the boys have come to the outlet mall and recorded 20 episodes about it. See you soon, boys. It just feels like there's a lot of overlap in the barn-based retail segment. I'm just saying. You know, I like the banter between those keepers, honestly. I like that.

Wow, boys. All the keepers from all over the world. Amazing. Listen, dude. You're pushing your luck. That is a lot of keepers. And if the implication is that every one of those keepers from all over the world. Amazing. Listen, dude, you're pushing your luck. That is a lot of keepers. And if the implication is that every one of those keepers is another daily podcast, I don't care about your cousins.

You're cool. I like you, man. Yeah. But your cousins? Why do I have to care? How many cousins do you have? They need help, Scott. Why do I have to care about all of them?

They need help. They need help. They're all trapped. Well, I know you're Mr. Helping helping out veterans and yeah i'm very charitable stations into salvation army but like i know you're a generous man maybe i'm a little bit stodgier i'm just like how how many cousins could there possibly be how many daily podcasts could we possibly have to do if you think about it in a way all all of us are cousins. Oh, amen to that, brother. I'll give that a big hearty for sure on that one.

I'm not doing that because that implies everyone, by that logic, now everyone's a keeper. We can do an episode about anything that's 10 miles away from an amusement park. These rules are getting so loose. This is a slippery slope, folks. What I like about the end of this and Last Jedi is that now it sort of introduces the idea that anyone can be a keeper oh yeah that's true i mean i was very inspired by that ending but in this case i don't know if i can go along with it now but what if i were to tell you a lot of these establishments have bars that likely stock premium beverages your crystal head vodka your cosamigos tequila

no no that is the last thing I want to hear how many more times do I need to hear about these people this premium beverage is in my house where I could stay well think about all the good times we had sure to the city walk saga

to the downtown Disney ordeal to the mall of america or i'm not i've been there i don't need to do it again well but mike and i haven't been there is mall of america spelled m-a-u-l of america oh that's good yeah oh that's pretty good that's cool yeah are you storing up a joke for later is that what that is but when we do the series Oh, that's good. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty good. That's cool. It'll be a fun Halloween one. Are you storing up a joke for later? Is that what that is? But when we do the series, you mean? Oh, that's what the series is called.

Yeah, that's what the series is called. Yeah, it could be like Halloween time. Yeah, it'll be like- Because like the stores have to have decorations for Halloween. Absolutely. I'm kind of getting excited about this, honestly. Mall of America was also, that was, if I was still working at Funny or Die, I would have made that after Solo comes out. And then it would be like Darth Mall of America. Oh, yeah., if I was still working at Funny or Die, I would have made that after Solo comes out.

And then it would be like Darth Maul of America. Oh, yeah. Very good. Very good. Sure, sure. It'd be like him. It'd be like a green screen bit. And it would be a guy in the Darth Maul mask.

They'd just do a mask. The makeup would be too laborious. Makeup would be too laborious. They'd just do a mask. I think I speak for everyone and I say, immortal. Oh, you think that would be immortal? You're voting that one immortal. The famous voting system.

Yeah. I mean, that's, look, you're building on Mike's idea. This is great. I think like, and your podcast empire is growing. Is there, could we maybe arrange some sort of like tap out or tray? Nick, I would love if you took over my position as third host of podcast the right for all of these various events um i'm i contractually linked to doughboys media so i can't i can't i mean you can tell you can talk to mike mitchell the president of the company

he might let me wiggle out but i just i don't think it's going to be tenable you do another podcast though as well yeah that too that one is well see here's the thing that's an earwolf podcast so that's its own oh that's a script that's another that's a whole thing all right we gotta go into get into it with scripts okay well the company that matches your personal politics perfectly yeah well that's why i wanted to get into business with them. I'm a big Scripps guy. So, you know, until Sinclair owns a podcast network, I think Scripps is the one I want to be with. I'm going to start delving into your legality.

I'm going to start poking around. You don't have to open them to me. I'm going to look through your books and see if there's a way to slot. You would be open to it if I could slot you in as the new third host i mean i'm trying to say i'm trying to say no in a nice way this is trying to give you i'm trying to say i'm trying to decline by saying i have some prior commitments okay well being on all everybody's podcast and bothering everyone maybe susser will tag in for me scott the keepers need you yeah i think they need you specifically it has to be me the king of prussia Mall rocks. I mean, I like all of these places.

I like the Mall of America, but enough is enough. And also, were a couple of those guys, Jim Hill and Len Testa, the theme park podcasters, a few of your cousins sounded a little to me like the hosts of Disney Dish. They didn't sound anything i didn't notice that yeah i guess i'm just hearing things i'm just seeing things again you're gaslighting me again like with choco i have a confession to make this entire time i dropped the bath bomb in the boot i filled the boot with the rest of the synchro and i've been soaking in the bath bomb and eating the chocolate chip cookie pint glass milkshake mess.

Wow. Less than anyone think we didn't utilize every item. Oh. I have been enjoying myself immensely. Oh, good. That was, yeah, that was a narrative thread that was really going to bother people. Yeah. I mean, I was hoping that would pay off.

So this is great. Boys, boys, congratulations. Now you officially did it. Thank you. Wow. Yay. Yes, yes. All right. But all the Keeper stuff still stands Yes Scott you still have to do

Sector Keeper I don't So I guess it's settled right You'll go help all the Keepers And now we go to Downtown Disney for one last romp Where we break into the AMC And we watch Good Boys And a boot laid copy of Richard Jewell.

That's right. That's right. And any funny or die parody sketches that get made surrounding this film. Yes. You know what? I don't know how I feel about all of these ordeals and sojourns and odysseys and whatever, but you round up all those cousins.

We're all breaking into that movie theater together. Let's all be good boys together. Yeah right yeah yeah there we go all right mike first you have to go to santa fe oh yeah yeah i do okay well i'll meet you guys there okay yeah where the veterans aren't invited they don't get to come oh yeah they could come right mike come yeah so quick stop for a good boys screening It might the humor might offend them though Yeah possibly We don't know

It's a little bawdy That's why I've heard it's bawdy But sometimes it's good to be bawdy That's true We don't have to commit to a date on any of this shit do we A couple of them had dates in there. Yeah. I feel like I heard some dates.

At least a year, year-wise. I think we can all agree there's going to be at least one per year for many years. And I think Marvel movies, eventually there's going to have to be starting to do two or three per year. And like TV shows, little mini ones. Well, this is the point where just to keep up, we are just going to need other hosts and perhaps entirely different placement hosts. Sure.

Well, you can interview your replacement, I guess, off the air. Oh, if I do it, and if the sector keeper approves and says that he's Scott-esque enough to take over, then maybe I've got a way out of this. As long as the interview is an episode that we put out. Yeah, for sure. All right, fair enough. It's all content.

Okay, I'll wrap my head around this mentally, but we've all survived the Downtown Disney ordeal. Wow. Wow, holy shit. Nick Weiger, you survived the Downtown Disney ordeal. Thanks for all your help. What a treat. I was going to, you know,

I had a thing I'd loaded up about an hour ago about this episode's length comparing to the runtime of Good Boys. But now I think I could just say, like, just compare the third act of this episode to the runtime of Good Boys. Most of them. Yeah. Yes. Well, everybody has Irishman fever. We're getting close to Irishman run time

yeah well thanks for bearing with it thank you thanks for having me what a hoot you know check out

check out the podcast Doughboys podcast about chain restaurants we also do a lot of dumb shit like this

and then also check out uh my video game podcast how did this get played it's me and heather ann campbell and we review bad video games yeah yeah great podcasts that are sure to run their course soon and you're gonna need another podcast to jump on um i'm trying to kind of get out and phase out of podcasting i feel you know kind of like tiktok is the new thing and me and Sheridan are doing pretty well over there for sure wow for sure for sure we need one

we need one more instinct the classic the boys alright we'll give it to you it's usually behind a paywall but we'll do it for sure hell yeah

thanks for listening everybody so long for sure bye forever dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced So long. For sure. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. They've won the battle. Alert our master, chairman of Disney Parks Experiences and Products, Bob Chapek. Those three good boy filth merchants are no doubt celebrating with adult libations. Next time it won't be so easy. Remember this podcast to the ride. We're the amusement park news and rumor website that goes boom in the night. Fear the bubble car boys.

Fear the bubble car boys.