Podcast: The Ride - Efteling with Jason Woliner

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

Jason Woliner (Paul T. Goldman, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm) returns to the show for an overview of Efteling. The largest theme park in the Netherlands, Efteling is known for it's elaborate rides, Fairytale Forest, and trash cans that long to eat paper. Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain episode up at Club 3: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever. Dog. Warning, the following podcast contains cherub-faced garbage cans, goats sitting at a table, Jason Sheridan's secret identity, and many calls to heed warnings. Jason Wollner returns to talk Efteling

on today's podcast, The Ride. the ride welcome to podcast the ride a theme park podcast which today is your home for horrendous mispronunciation. Sorry. You did mispronounce it. Nice. Keep it in. Keep it in. So insecure about the mispronunciation. I was going to say horrendous mispronunciations of Dutch words.

Yeah, but you're also English words seemingly. Well, shit. Scott Gairdner here fucking up from the get go. Mike Carlson making fun of me all the way. I'm here. Well, no, I'm saying this is a mistake. We must embrace it. This is part of the reality of podcasts.

And people love, as Jason said, people love to hear how the sausage is made. Yeah. Well, this is Jason Sheridan. Hi. I've noted that this has been said a lot lately. And I've found that you guys saying how the sausage gets made just means a mundane fact about how we're recording right now. Oh, I see what you're saying. Just to go into how the sausage gets made,

it's 57 degrees right now. Right. It's just interesting sausage making. Jason's wearing shoes with a white Nike swoosh logo on them. That's very interesting. People like hearing how the sausage gets made. They like hearing how the sausage gets made. Yeah, what the sausage looks like.

What tiny mistakes the sausage makes. Scott, I looked that up too, because I'm like, I'm going to mispronounce a lot of this. Yeah, we're screwed on this one. But I will say that the park today has a very good English language website. And in the Netherlands, while the official language is Dutch, you often hear, it's very common to hear French, German, English.

Oh, so we got a lot of different languages we can screw up. Oh, yeah, we butcher the English language a couple times a week. So this will be exciting. Hey, remember when I, what did I call the agave? What did I call it? A guave. I called it a guava yeah it's not that's maybe my least my my worst one i think or no no and you know what it is multiple times uh calling jan wenner jan winter from rolling stone oh that's my most humiliating

dare you assail the legacy of a boring man that, like, in a few years, the last person who knows who he is will be dead. No one will need to know what his name is. That's fair. Let's bring in our guest, who is here to talk about Efteling, a big one, legendary theme park in the Netherlands. And we're here with somebody who's been, and he's also one of our favorite folks. He's, of course, the director of Borat Subsequent Movie Film and the director and creative mind behind Paul T. Goldman, a fantastic series on Peacock, all six episodes of which are streaming right now.

It's Jason Walliner. Thanks, Scott. Thanks, guys. Very happy to be back. Yeah, yeah. Happy to have you back. And I'm glad that you're willing to come back also, just given some of the recent weirdness. I don't think I need to say this. People have seen the headlines already. But, of course, I am being charged by the Santa Fe District Attorney with involuntary defamation for all the times that I've called you the Alec Baldwin of Podcast The Ride.

Well, you know, I thought, yeah, i didn't think we'd get into that but um i know maybe we're not supposed to and we can cut this if we're not uh if we're not we'll run it by a lawyer or something but i to me that feels like that that's for lawyers to sort out the trial will happen um but you know you and i here that that problem is not between us you know that i first said it it meant to be in a complimentary way. And look, it's you being charged by the Santa Fe detective or sheriff's office. Look, it's not me. To me, when you say Alec Baldwin of Podcast the Ride,

I think that means I'm probably one of the noblest guests you've had on, one of the best human beings. Exactly, yes, yes. Most humble, not a murderer. The context of when it was said, and this is, so getting charged, this is going to be my defense. You're telling me my own defense.

You're a great father like him. Great father, I've never. He's a strong father. You gotta get a couple more going. You gotta get a few more in there. Strong voicemail parenting history. You have young children, but you still set up a phone line to call them just to leave them great, what I assume are wonderful love notes. The best way to distribute life lessons to your kids is through a voicemail when you tell them what they are.

Whenever you think of something, just call, leave a memo. And much like Alec Bauman, you do a killer Trump impression. We love to hear it. Says, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. Usually you charge people to do it, so we don't want to.

Yeah, no, but thank you. Thank you, Scott. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm glad. Maybe we can sort through this anyway um all right well to move from one thing that you're you're known on the podcast for to another the mainly people have been listening for a long time know uh you know what is what is i think a great episode of the show which is our failed parks series is the first that you came and talked to us uh the the too ambitious episode where we had two entire episodes worth about just one of the failed parks hard rock park

well it was also and uh the sid and marty croft land was part of that i think yeah yeah yeah which we just had to gun it through to get into i feel still feel bad about it yeah yeah i know we gave it the short end of the stick it's wonderful there's been video of it going around lately i feel like of that that pinball ride, which is so nuts. Yeah, really good quality video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, shot on a nice film.

And I want to start talking, I mean, I've been talking a lot about my favorite show, Club Random, a lot lately, but I want to start, stop talking about that and start talking about Sid Croft's Instagram Live, where he interviews, like, Adam Carolla. Oh, wow. Like, well, there's different shows I want to talk about. You're telling me there is a, there is a weird low budget online only show that landed Adam Carolla, believe it or not. That's right.

Okay. But I bring all this up to say, I just got curious, like in the last few years, we have not checked in on the former site of Hard Rock Park. And I wanted to see if there was any update that I could give you since you're here. And there's a pretty exciting one. Oh, wow. I'm excited to share this. I looked it up. There's been activity on the site very recently.

There's been newspapers on the site very recently um there's been newspapers squatters by activity civilization piss and shit every human piss and shit everywhere um no i so you know it's just been sitting dormant for a long time people go wander around there still there i think there really is squatting but that's all about to change because this spot in myrtle beach where hard rock park used to be uh the newspapers have been buzzing about something called Project Crestfield. Big, mysterious, kind of like code name of a movie. What is Project Crestfield going to be? And now it has come out in just the last few months. Project Crestfield is the mission on the site of Hard Rock Park to turn it into...

A mass grave? Project Crestfield does seem tailor-made to be like the defendant in this case. Project Crestfield. Sorry. Prosecuting attorney Aaron Brockovich. Project Crestfield is supplying Ukraine with tanks right now. Sorry, Scott.

What is it? No, no, no very exciting you're the grand reveal it's going to be a fedex distribution facility let's go yeah all right it's gonna work out like out of the existing buildings that are like it's someone's office gonna be that knights in white satin ride they have not figured out like okay there is good news there is a light in your office bad news it is a strobe light uh and uh it's just a flashing rainbow colors all day i don't know if we've said this on the show before but and i don't i'm not going to say anyone's name so it's fine listeners went into the site of the old hard rock park and there was just it's sitting there merchandise is just sitting strewn about on floors of buildings brought us some merchandise some

other urban explorers untouched untouched merchandise other urban explorers found a similar like dead drop of merchandise but then other people also found i i think it's uh bright sun films maybe like was exploring it and they found like we found the agreement from the eagles like we found the like licensing agreement of like bands how fast did they leave this place it's like overnight there's just like just get the fuck out of here. He's like, we gotta get out of here. We gotta go right now. We gotta go right now. We are wanted in this state.

Let's die young. That's rock and roll, baby. Winston, the punk rock dog is just scurrying out trying to get through a door. Fill the dog costume with whatever shit can fit in it.

Let's get in the car. We need to move faster than Led Zeppelin the ride. Go, go, go. I've got a bunch of Coca-Cola syrup canisters, and I'm going to resell them. Recoup our losses. They've started demolishing the facilities,

and as of October, there were still big signs that said Freestyle Music Park everywhere, like the second name of it. So it's starting to go, finally, but this next new chapter is going to begin and imagine the pride of the fedex workers knowing the history can i ask where they're working the the name project crestville is this sort of the like the florida project where if people caught wind that it was a fedex all these businesses are going to pop up around it

because they're so excited and they want to keep the prices down from buying the land oh yeah yeah that's what it is right instead of just saying fedex shipping center maybe people are just businesses are as excited about like a fedex as they are about it's one of the most popular shipping companies in the world well yeah they're pretty accessible though it's not i mean yeah they're around though are they what's number one is it is it fedex or is the post office yes i don't think it's the post office they're not i don't think they're doing very well right i don't know jason jason will figure it out yeah uh no i think people are just excited that that like a that there will be a business in the myrtle beach area that doesn't fail within four months that's fair yeah i can

see that that's why the boom um anyway just excited that uh you know the uh a next chapter to the story of hard rock park well uh that keeps rocking on um but we're not here to talk about that we're here to talk about i hate to cut you off scott i have another thing i need to bring up because jason is here Because Jason One of the last times I saw him Something happened That was very embarrassing

To me That I brought up On the show before What was this? And I would like We haven't really talked About it in a second So I know

You do know it You'll know it As soon as I say it Alright But you were there When I freaked out About the Minotaur Yeah yeah yeah

As soon as you said The word freaked Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Hey, look, it was not your fault that you were having a physical reaction. You were afraid of the Minotaur. Who could fucking blame you? That's all it was. There was no other dimension to it.

It was just fully. I wish you could have seen how silly. I did see. Because I remember I stayed. Oh, wait you i stayed and then i walked through so if you listeners don't know watch us on video how did you actually know the minotaur we saw you at the end when we did yeah and then i so i don't know that you earned being in that picture i said i didn't want to do it and everyone said i should and i said no i don't want to be in the picture but i am in the picture photoshop him out somebody photoshop him out there was an escape room event that happened where you would go in and solve little puzzles,

and it was called the Minotaur, I forget. Something was the Minotaur. Was it a subtitle or something? Yeah, it was called Escape the Minotaur. It was a Russian, I think, escape room that they had carted over to L.A. Yeah. And you're in a dungeon. You're solving puzzles.

It's halfway between an immersive play and an escape room where you're in these like you're in a dungeon you're solving puzzles it's like it's halfway between a like an immersive play and an escape room where you're you're encountering actors you're running through things you're doing tasks and and then but then every once in a while the lights will go out and the minotaur will come and try to kill you try to take one member of your group yes but the thing that would happen every time the minotaur would come is they would play this like early 2000s drum and bass music i remember yeah he's like and so it was so funny that it can't be scary it was oh it was like a it was like the minotaur was like a dj coming to get you so it was like if they had scary music i would have like lost it but it was so silly the music they played um that it was just like you're suddenly in like a club.

Yeah, I remember because what happened was, as we were getting the explanation, we were all wearing jumpsuits and we're wearing masks. And I have some sort of like clothing claustrophobia in addition to like, I remember this now, a darkness sort of like claustrophobia too. So I'm sitting there They turn the lights down A little bit And I remember my vision Kind of like shrinking

And I'm like No no no no And so In the middle of this Right before we go in I have to like Raise my hand Like I'm back in third grade

Or something Excuse me I'm having like A panic attack Or something I'm having like I think I said A mask

Mask based Panic attack Yeah that rings the bell And the person Looked at me like We've never had this Happen before Like just like

Is he joking Is it serious And was like Oh And like They're doing like A whole Like a whole

Like voice and stuff For the mood And the atmosphere Right Like yes And then we'll go in this And then you'll You'll confront the minutes

And I'm like Excuse me And they're like oh uh well um you can just sit over just sit over here so in my mind now i'm recovering from whatever this anxiety was and i'm hearing the dumbest sounding shit feet away in my mind there was some massive dungeon you're in it's feet away i'm hearing yells i'm hearing the whole thing play out i'm like this is like as big as a garage yes i'm sitting there waiting for you guys and then you guys came on everyone was very nice no one was mean to me um no one was even judging you no i know it's not your fault i'm just saying this is we haven't we haven't re-brought i mean

we've brought it up a little bit but it's something now i have to conquer it's become like a mountain let's go back so we're gonna have to go back what are we is has this has this come back is there a chance i think this company was doing like a revolving yeah they had a couple of escape rooms at this one place so yeah we whenever you want let's go face your fear we will go face my fears well first things first just listen to a lot of early 2000s drum and bass psych yourself up that way that's good idea shouldn't be a chore maybe it was that part of the if it was carted over from russia did they have to like we have an ironclad deal with the composer something like that yeah no one in america would have made this choice the uh uh when the lights were on and then i walked through

i said this before on the show uh the minotaurs just standing there the costume couldn't have looked shittier well yeah the lights were on well of course i'm just saying like there was it was so much more embarrassing to see what it was and again i wasn't actually scared of the minotaur i was scared of the dark let's be clear let's be clear i wasn't it's more reasonable to be scared of a minotaur i know i was scared i mean literally i think i was scared of the dark it's okay you know what happens it happens no no one no one was making fun of you no i know i i did not think that but it is uh it is one of the most humiliating things that's happened to me in the last 10 years of my life well that's good then

that means that really humiliating things haven't happened to you that's a good point it's a very good point we've done we've done a bunch of live shows and never in any of them have your pants fallen down you tripped and then the audience all vocalized hey look at his tiny dick yeah that does not have you've successfully kept your pants on we're in the dark but we're in the dark about how big your dick is that's true you know huge they don't know jason did you know they don't know how big it is oh no i saw it that night yeah because you came on i didn't have my pants on yeah yeah you said you had to calm down sorry just cleaning up here cleaning the shit off of my dick from when i was i was changing my own diaper is what was happening Sitting on a booth Oh yeah and then that's when the other employee

From the other one came out and looked at me like Oh my god are you okay Yeah I'm fine I'm fine No he probably thought something really bad had happened We have no training for this Has not happened we're told not to worry about it Will not happen We are getting paid by PayPal and the head of this often forgets

anyway but you feel you feel okay yeah yeah i feel okay i just i'm gonna call my shot minotaur we're going back to the minotaur okay i hope there is a minotaur to go back to let's do it and it'll be good because jason's with us. No, we... Yes. I mean, sure. Yeah. No. Our good friend Eva is big into that stuff. And our friend Landon.

We should get a... Let's get a group together. We're going to get a group and do it. Let's do it. Do I have to... Maybe I have to do it. I don't know. Maybe I'll be scared of the Minotaur just due to the...

Now it's built up. Now you have it in your head that during the intro part that's the time to freak out so maybe it'll make it like come true and if they hide if they hide something later that's actually the scary thing like or like an earnest doll or something if it's any if it's anything like earnest goes to splash mountain then uh then i'm out uh um okay we gotta we gotta get into the the mega park that we're sorry yeah yeah we're here to talk about that also is like i'm sure we've all had the thought of this is a big one we're not going to be able to get to everything about the f-ling let's so we should just take the pressure off for it to be

a definitive f-ling that feels rude to you though jason to like if we're telling you this isn't going to be the do would you like us to close it out and never talk about no no please let me just let me contribute just a a little part to uh whatever this becomes you're the trailblazer you're the early adopter yes the first the first guest i i'm sure we've had people on who who've been there but you but you're the first to grab it and talk about it and i'm so honored yeah no i think our friend marissa uh strickland oh yeah yeah yeah at least once yeah um i went there in 2016 uh back when it had a lot of attractions that i recently found out while i was doing research for this are very thankfully not in the same state or there anymore yes yeah yeah yeah that seemed to be one of your can we get into

that in this episode it just seemed like yes what you can bring to the table of the uh the yeah i you this was one of your knee jerks about talking about f dealing with some of the somewhat offensive things and then yeah we started looking i think they're all gone unless they've like i think there's a very, it was a process. They were unhappy about it. We can, yeah, we should get into it.

I mean, but also it's not, I was like, Oh yeah, we should talk about F chilling, you know, the racist, uh,

Dutch Disneyland. But it, in researching and remembering it, it's, it's, that's way more than that. It's, it's great.

It's like one of the best theme parks in the world. Probably. Uh, it's crazy. This is a question is that because like and i've never i've almost like stayed away from looking at it too much in like a spoilers way and maybe we thought like do we not cover this until we've been but now the way there are children in the picture travel that's hard i don't know when we're gonna go i would love

to go i really love to go uh but let's let's let's at least start and dive in this is a good excuse it's worth leaving your family for to go just like this was mike's master plan i feel like all along was to like now we have a reason well i said yeah it's for work in 2017 to do any dumb shit that's right 2017 you could do like a euro trip and you could like go to because i in researching this i was looking at what's that europa what's the one in germany europa park yeah like that looks crazy too yeah i might try to go there this year yeah yeah the ones we found that we did a little like european vacation month and that that place fantasia land oh yeah my head ever since and then like the the cruddy ones yeah the cruddy one i'm really excited about um the popeye village oh yeah in malta oh yeah yeah wait is that the one from the movie

that didn't tear down it looks crazy and there are popeyes walking around yeah they like dance to pop music they danced to early 2000s rap music just like popeye that's right um but yeah i think we'd love to go, but basically it had just always been like this legend in my, we've only heard it in this utterly breathless way and seeming all I knew about it was grand scale, you know, things being done in this ornate way, full of animatronics, full of original IP.

We got no movie tie-ins. The closest thing to IP are fairy tales and stuff, but it seems like, I've always just heard it talked about in the same breath as Tokyo DisneySea in terms of huge scale. You can't believe, like there's none of the cheapening out that might happen in the American parks. And I just always hoped that it lived up to

that legend everything i saw made me think yes but jason you're the person to really fit like just thinking back you know it's not like you're walking past gift shops and everything you're really walking through like a forest full of like incredible like like multimillion dollar dark rides and roller coasters. And so it's, it was, I guess built in 1952, um, as,

uh, it was a park. And then they added this like fairytale walkthrough, which they still have. And so you just walk around a forest and then you'll find, you know, a talking tree or like a guy with a long neck or, but there's a lot of like weird European fairytales that I'm sure none of us have ever heard of. Like, and you'll just like find a house and look in and there'll be like a guy with a long neck or but there's a lot of like weird european fairy tales that i'm sure

none of us have ever heard of like and you'll just like find a house and look in and there'll be like a family of like goats in human clothing sitting around the dinner table like moving and talking to each other like it's really creepy and weird like as fairy tales are but it's not it's just like it's a good place to wander around and yeah the rides are crazy yeah so i grew up from there and then they they made this like haunted mansion kind of thing i forgot what year that was but yeah no it just it seems to have like kind of just grown organically over a long period of time and it doesn't feel i mean i went there i think off season and i went there on uh my honeymoon and me and my wife,

we just bounced around Europe and I was like, we got to go to this place. So we were in Amsterdam. I think you take like a two hour bus ride down. We stayed there for, I think two nights. And you stayed at Efteling. Yeah.

And there were Efteling hotels. Yeah. There's like a, there's like an enchanted village of hotels and around a lake with a little castle on an island in the middle of it, and you just walk around. And then we broke into the park at night. We hopped the fence and just went right back in and just walked around. It wasn't anything crazy.

You couldn't get deep into the ride buildings, but there was no guards. No one cared. Whoa. What were you near at that point? What was the sneaking around part? I don't know. We just wanted to see what it was near at that point what was the what was the sneaking around part i don't know we just wanted to see what it was like at night and i guess it closed pretty early um but uh i was just looking through all my photos and yeah i have a picture of uh becky

my wife jumping jumping over the fence and then i think i was afraid to take more pictures but like yeah it's just a cool it's a cool crazy place it's it's yeah it's uh there's lots of stuff to it yeah geez um i we're we're to dive in even we can start picking up like well i mean anything general you kind of gave us the the general history mike what do you think i was just to say like the if correct me if i'm wrong like where it is geographically feels also kind of like a special am am I wrong about this? It feels like you have to travel. It's not near anything.

Yeah. No, it's hours away from, a few hours away from Amsterdam. I feel like doesn't that add to the mystique of it? Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. It's in a pine forest. Like a real, like very wooded pine forest.

It does seem like when the views that you get from anything with a with a drop or anything where you go up high it is not like it's not like looking into no offense mike buena park it's you're maybe getting a stronger a more beautiful better than buena park i think i mean it just depends on your taste if you like trees and vistas but if you like seeing the the big rock and bruise guitar or the claim jumper that's yeah but you get to see long neck you get to see my man long neck and the paper gobblers yeah paper gobblers so there's uh all the trash cans are these chubby kids that you walk by and you hear they they like play a recording they're like begging you to put paper in their mouth and other trash yeah this is i made an effort to look up the name of this one because and this like because i and i my guess would have been way the hell off wait can i even do it i try to write it

out phonetically hola bola heish hola bola heish is the name of the uh the paper guy heish is how you is how you say g-i-j-s this is why we're screwed pronunciation i saw one video where they were calling them holy bully guys and that's probably the translation yeah uh yeah holy guys i mean i like that better um but yeah i saw it's in it seems like it's an entire little garden of little like characters with cherubic faces and gaping wide mouth holes that all if you i mean and you fed them i assume you put something in there you feed them your garbage and they you know thank you they i saw the copy somewhere feed them with all the papers you've got or else they'll yell a lot and it's and it's all manner of characters this kind of like you know cherubic man boys but then like giant twins who cry because they don't have paper

and i here i have a uh Let's just listen to the sweet sounds of what I'm going to borrow the Holy Bully guys. Let's hear some Holy Bully guys for a second. Papier here. Papier here. I guess paper here? Dank u wel. Dank u wel.

Dank u wel. That sounds like it unlocks the Manchurian candidate like it unlocks some sort of programming there might be a listener somewhere who's been activated who's going to kill a politician right now here's a couple more all variety of uh pleasant sounds Is this technically ASMR? Could be, depending on your taste. You're psychotic. What the listener is not seeing also are these gigantic hellmouths, these perfectly round hellmouths.

So maybe, given current company i should ask are the holy boly guys cute i love all the creatures well but that's not the answer yes do you think uh baby heish is baby heish who we're looking at and let me play the clip and then you can determine cute or not it's a giant baby with like a like a mushroom hat giant yeah there's a whole like family tree of like this is this is one, this is the son. What is Jason? I'm waiting on an answer to this question. I mean, I think they're pretty cute.

All right. All right. For a trash can, for stuff that's like. Well, no, no. In the scheme of things. No, in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, yeah. Baby Aladar is cute.

Baby Grinch to me is cute. Is this baby cute? I mean, I think they're pretty cute. You know what? It's qualified. I'll'll say no all right that's a scary baby it's important to hear these from you sometimes you know you're being honest i like the baby though i do like the i would love to feed any of these baby i would love to hear these papyr here is in person wait i think this is the most horrifying one this kind of like giant this like 50 year old man looking guy you think that's cute they just they long to eat paper that's all they crave

you know that's what's cute about it wants are simple you see yeah i think in the con trying to contextualize like jason as you said uh your context for why it's cute i think it's not cute or no there's a different standard european fairy tales are often a lot more dark or grim so for a european fairy tale it's cute by american standard i mean disney is soft enough if that was in america okay the hell with this if that was in america and there was no um like trash component to it would you still think it was cute i will at least go to intriguing but i think see that's it removing the trash do you think long neck is cute do you like long neck i don't like long neck i'm a little scared of long neck the cutest thing in efteling is more disturbing than the most disturbing thing

it is yeah that's right yeah for sure like it's just there's something inherent about european like caricatures that are just grotesque always like there's always they're always like just disgusting inherently like nothing like they don't have that kind of like any of those like hallmarks of cuteness like big eyes or smooth skin or like symmetrical feet everything's everything's bulbous and like heads are like plunging off of necks and out of clothes baby Baby looks like an 80-year-old man, and that's as good as they can do. Which part of the history of it,

I don't think I, maybe I don't have the name, but the initial, oh no, Anton Peake. From 52 to 74, everything here was designed by Anton Peake, who was an illustrator of terrifying fairy tales uh in the netherlands and probably elsewhere in europe so it did has everything physicalized has the feel of the like too detailed too many lines terrifying fairy tale drawings yeah and they everyone like um the guy who took over after him is named ton van de van ton vendevan ton vandevan yeah um he from like the 70s to like 2002 was like the guy

this is a retired in 2002 everything like basically two guys at least kind of overseeing everything and i like i was i was saying to you jason before we did this like the it all this whole park feels like an alternate dimension disneyland where like the peaks of the place are really similar to disneyland like started in the 50s was like you know little fun things for little kids charming but then in the 70s it ramps up and expands and it's roller coasters and the original guys are are no are no longer there but it gets taken over by the new wave like ton van de ven is alternate universe tony yeah. And the two of them knew each other. They were friends.

And Tony Baxter always pointed to Efteling, said Efteling's great, helped it win a Thea Award. Consulted them before they did Disneyland Paris, I believe. Really? I saw that, yes. Yeah. Wow. And then due to this guy.

Consulted them. What's it like being a theme park in Europe? How should we be? Will we regret this? Any advice? You need to make it. Okay, thanks. You need to own the horror.

You need to up the grotesqueries. That's the, I've said this before, Tony Baxter talking about that, like there's all these like European rules that he talks about that I'm still a little suspicious of them actually being rules. He's like, the French don't understand funny and scary. They just understand scary or funny. And I'm like, is that true?

He says it with authority. So I go, oh, I believe that. And then I think about it for a second. And I go, oh, maybe. Was there ever a Jerry Lewis ghost movie? I don't know. I feel like he must have run away from a ghost at some point you would think so but i bet he found it scary yeah they were right it was it was played

yeah it was played it was a serious ghost movie starring jerry lewis even though he's yelling yeah this guy wearing a sheet but it was no laughs no played for no laughs but basically like because of this guy much like disney in tony baxter's run the 80s and the 90s are fantastic for like that that's something i didn't know about the history is like are these is it all attractions that are grandfathered in from the 60s and that are classic and in fact no they add something new and incredible like at least every two years if not more like like so many of the great stuff here is very recent yeah like recent dark rides that you would i feel like would fool you into thinking it was there for 50 years yeah yeah let me before i get to newer things though original uh classic

charming stuff one of them will not try to say the dutch version uh the american version the english version is the tape it's it's a donkey from the table the ass and the stick is that the donkey that shits gold coins that's right that's right did you see that did you do this uh did you get gold yeah yeah we got a token idea kids kids gather around the donkey i think it's actually plastic but um but yeah i know it uh it does that that's cool that's great it's like everything's like a little more like it's it's a little edgier than american parks would be a little body little body here down to what would you classify this as body that, like, in articles that were like, yeah, see, it's a little more European.

One of the things they mentioned is that there's Ariel, this little mermaid. But in this one, she's topless. Fully topless. Yeah. Well, and now European standards, like Jason was saying, that isn't maybe body. That's just normal. That's fully clothed. Yeah. By European fully clothed. Yeah.

By European standards. Right. They managed to get more naked than regular people. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, an American, yes, I am a little offended by it, but it fits Europe. In terms of body, can we get into the carnival festival? A little early for that.

I'm at the vet. Some of the compilation videos I watch sort of gloss over carnival festival a little early for that some of the compilation videos i watched sort of gloss over carnival festival i can show yeah i i have a video i recorded the whole thing because i was so blown away by it so basically they have their own fully a knockoff of it's a small world um but that was one of the two extremely racist, right? It's like a very racist, it's a small world, where you go through parts of Africa and Asia that are just like jaw-droppingly shocking. And they did remove this, I think, in what, 2017 or something recently.

Still very recent. In 2017, they figured it out. So that's good. That's fine. Oh, my God. This So that's good. Finally got it. This was a different time. 2016 was a different time. Pre-pandemic, the world was different. I don't want to specifically describe what you saw.

All I can say is that it's like, okay, everything is scarier than the small world dolls it's like everything is huge and bulbous and just big circles and exaggerated features and i will leave it to the listener to think about or don't think about it but everyone could not think about it but i think what was not changed is in the france section there's definitely a sex worker uh standing on the corner trying to pick up a client. Wow. Now, this I like. This is good.

Knott's Berry Farm has sex workers. You wouldn't see that in a small world. I think the Dutch are more open about all parts of society. Yeah, but they're like 90 minutes from Amsterdam, you know? Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah, I know. I mean, yeah. And not to jump her out, but do not let Palti Goldman. open about yeah all parts of society minutes from amsterdam you know yeah no exactly yeah i know i mean yeah and not to jump a rep but do not let paul t goldman know about this to make sure he never sets foot in this right um i it like um the the ride uh besides these things uh that it's like it's definitely a lot more it seems a lot more like clap trappy and

annoying even then it's a small world which famously gets shit for being an annoying song but this this seems like a lot more grating but am am i wrong maybe it was different to be there i was just in shock um going through not expecting the africa or asia sections that uh i was not bored i wrote it again i was i couldn't believe that was 2016 i could not believe that was uh real so like no i think they closed it and or they they removed they said about $100 and redid it in, I think, 2019. Only $100 were offensive. This was 2019. So this was only four years ago. $200 were perfectly passable.

But there were two rides that absolutely should never have existed. Or one could say needed an update. The other one. And so the other one was way like more offensive it was called monsieur uh kanibal and it was like the teacup as a ripoff of the teacups right except with a just horrifying uh caricature of an african person like just the craziest thing you've ever seen and um and when they changed carnival festival the small world one they made a point to be like we're not changing the other one like and they were like look some some people they i read an

article where the quote was like we understand some people are offended by this because they did not grow up with this uh ride i was like well that's not why that's not a good rationale if you grew up with this awful thing you would understand also they said when they changed this thing and i mean like i mean i don't know if you guys have seen this picture it's the craziest thing you've ever seen um and you're all the ride vehicles are the the cauldrons yeah but yeah you're being cooked but you're spinning around this cannibal character. That's it's like, you know, you won't believe what it looks like,

but, um, and you had no, you didn't know this. No, I didn't know going in, but they said a spokesperson said, we have to keep moving with the times,

emphasizing that the attraction is over 30 years old. Over 30. Ancient. That's not, it's younger than us. It's not that old. that's not this was younger than us it's not that old it's not old it's not just a different time it was a different time on top of a different time on top of a different time they uh consulted with disney pr on how to run they talked to the splash mountain people who ran interference for decades and they're like what do we say and it's like let me tell you

if you didn't grow up with that a lot of these defenses also seem like isn't isn't a christmas thing in in amsterdam involved blackface yes pete something pete that character it's a character where it's like oh no you don't understand it's s Santa's helpers. And it's like, what? I don't understand. No. They just keep saying the same. Let me, I'll explain it again. Santa's helpers. Black Pete is the name.

Is it really? I forgot. Oh, all right. Yeah, so if you look up Black Pete, I mean, the Dutch have a history of extreme racism. I would say that's an accurate statement but yeah they all go in blackface and wear like curly haired wigs i mean it's uh so yeah that's the culture and so i guess you could see why they were like what why why would we change this it's fun well and that when

it was finally this one was a 2021 change yes so eventually finally got rid of uh monsieur cannonball in uh which had by the way a song on it also like an old french song that played that must help a french song from the 50s oh yeah the same title and message yeah they were cool with their colonialism for sure this yeah 2021 yeah it's wild and then like here's the thing that in in the fallout of this i read this and i thought well things are kind of the same everywhere aren't they in a way because uh you know woke cancel culture is ruining everything right scott here comes the rant yes um welcome random randomization of podcast um so let's bring in adam carolla at this point adam we've been drinking mangrave this whole time you know no this they took this ride out and most people are like okay we are finally uh stepping up to the times

here except for right-wing politician geert wilders who tweets angry stuff about how they're giving into politically correct inclusive lefty nonsense and i'm like well i guess wow across an ocean it is the same bullshit as DeSantis and Woke Disney we have DeSantis and they have Geert Wilders there's one of these everywhere I suppose we have the fan art for Splash Mountain this is Br'er Lives Matter

which I saw today good lord that's a real thing it's been a wild little week they didn't have to do that public execution of Br'er Rabbit in Critter Country this week. That was a little much. Firing Skawada.

You know Disney. No smoking, so they wouldn't even give him a cigarette on the way out. At least do an empty costume. Don't make somebody be in it. What's done is done, though. Yeah. And it's done is done though And that And it's done

And you know what They didn't declare him dead on site Rare lives matter Took the body off site That's what they did Rare lives matter Wow A human being

That's the one that really Did that That's the one that really made me go Like exhale I don't The TikTok screen grab of like The woman holding a baby That one's

And going like, I got to tell them the ride they were named after is closed. What was their name? What does that mean? It's going to be hard for that kid when they show up at elementary school and have to tell everyone their name is Uncle Remus. I have the real answer. It was...

What's the name? Is it Briar? It's Briar. Yikes. What? Yikes is right. Beyond the connotation, like that you would name a child that. Briar.

Look, I don't know. It sounds like dryers to ice cream. Jason can get Brian, which is a name that's probably at the hospital so wait sorry brian no no no no have you not been on splash mountain briar we keep getting the birth certificate wrong you gotta fix it okay we've been through this four times check i'm not saying it's back again don Don't worry. There's plenty of thorny vine bushes out there. There are still plenty of briars. Sorry, kid.

So you're saying a thorn is still an acceptable name. Well, isn't... I... Never mind. Okay. I just meant like... We'll get out of the patch. A briar patch. Like a thorny patch of like

you're saying so the name is still relevant around like there's still tangles this is jason arguing that the name's a good name i think that's what it sounds like to me we've all seen the patches it's a good name uh-huh it's named after a famous patch, a different patch. But there's rides that are not defensive and haven't needed to be changed, I think. Are those the ones or are they like lingering? I mean, you never know. No, I mean, so there's this incredible ride, Fata Morgana, that is based on the legend of the 1001 arabian it's their knockoff of pirates of the caribbean uh and um it's great it's got hundreds of animatronics it's got songs it's you know it's like it's it's great it's also it's like very you know it's probably borderline

yeah yeah i guess given the subject matter yeah yeah yeah oh for sure it's like you go i mean you go i don't know those stories well but you i mean you you you float through on a boat and everywhere you look is like suffering and begging toiling drowning what are arabian nights like pretty tough you pass a guy uh looking into another guy's mouth for some reason to steal something, perhaps. Then you go past a man in a dark alley screaming at you. And then you go, then you see a tiger. And then you go through, the only time you see women are you go through a harem slash opium den. Do I want to go to this place anymore no it's incredible though i know i saw i looked at pictures so angry

and bummed out and then you go under you go underneath this like giant squatting genie like basically like gray grazing his balls with your head like there's all right i'm back in um but it's a it's a marvel to behold though i mean it's it's a great dark it's a just massive and and very long it's like seven minutes and run into a place like this with this huge sprawling pirates level bride that is based on nothing and that it doesn't come from some gigantic corporation neither because i think the way this is straight i think it all there's there's the efteling foundation or it's some foundation that pays for everything i just saw the explanation that like ultimately efteling does not owe a bunch of money to shareholders somewhere so all of the money stays in the park goes back into the park keeps

everything looking nice keeps them making new rides it's not like feeding into you know endless rounds of executive pockets right so it all gets it's it's all the money's on screen do they make these rides are they like contracting sally corp and places like that there's some of that there's definitely some of that um it included there are rides for sure that are made by like uh places that have made stuff that we've all been on one of them being there's um was this after you were there there's a ride called baron 1898 oh i think that had just opened i think when i was there that's like a gold rush uh roller coaster is that a different one yeah it's it's really interesting because i saw a video where it's like oh this is kind of a lesser ride and by american standards it's very elaborate yeah yeah oh it has

so much it's a pre-show with animatronics and projections big crazy story and carrot mythology the baron you meet the baron there yeah and it's so it's so um tower of terror harrison hightower like this guy's got a shady operation and uh he's gonna get punished and so are you the story of this um in 1898 the wealthy baron gustav mumoet humoed whose last name is a variation on the Dutch word for hubris. Gustav Hubris is led to aition that if he disturbs the gold in any way he will suffer terrible consequences for the rest of his life so he can't disturb i like i want the gold but i can't disturb the gold what will i do i will force the destitute local population into the gold mine so they're the ones disturbing the gold

and they're the ones that the white women will go after so it's a it's white women fiercely protecting their land it's a it's a ride about Karen's it's Karen's the right well that that's a lot simpler than

the first 80% of what you said yeah if you have to boil it down if you have to do one sentence synopsis um but anyway so you're gonna you're in a crooked mine and you and and then the wait the ride itself is a a drop coaster this is this one doesn't have a water component this is a period so it's one it's a coaster where you you hang you get a view you go into a tunnel it's all mist and fog um and then and when people and you get screamed at like you shall not evade my curse prepare to forfeit your lives it's it's it rule i mean that that we're getting the Hulk terror yeah it's it's extremely yeah

yeah your souls are he says your souls are mine right yeah? That's the thing? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's got dark ride stuff at the start of the ride. In the queue, there's a Baron animatronic. There's multiple ghost projections. And then it becomes a standard kind of roller coaster. Sure, sure. But yeah, the theming and everything makes it feel like more than that. And this one, built by Boller and mabillard who rides they've built uh incredible hulk batman the ride riddler's revenge apollo's chariot the fabio goose

coaster and a little ride called led zeppelin the ride the fabio goose wait is that different from apollo's chariot or is that no that's the same those are one in the same though i've been named that roller coaster fabio's goose coaster after the incident they really really should still should have uh i mean because i as of now it's like you know trivia that barely anybody knows that there's not like a plaque up or something they should have something where someone by the end has like an exploded goose against their forehead or whatever he did. And like you get to be the Fabio. Like you go on the ride and guess who's going to be the Fabio. Every chair has like a blood path.

It's like the Rebel Spy on Star Tours. Yeah. But you get to go home with something. You get a bunch of Big blast of Blood and feathers In the face You get messy It's like double dare Yeah

Yeah Everything gets you wet But what else gets you Bloody Yeah They have to They have to embrace Their history

Yeah At least sell a hat At least sell a hat A bloody hat A goose Yeah Yeah with like blood And then it's like

One of those long hair hats Yeah So you got Oh yeah Yeah with the hair Looks like Uh huh Uh one of those long hair hats Yeah So you got Fabio Yeah with the hair It says I survived Fabio's goose coaster And you've got long Fabio hair My nose fared better than Fabio's did

Is he like a right wing guy Or am I confusing him with Kevin Sorbo Or are they both right wing guys Sorbo is very much more vocally a right wing guy But I think he might be a right wing guy He's a businessman He's on fox he's smart he's a smart man of course he's a right-wing when he wants to protect his money anybody who keeps their money and protects it yeah the reason they're on that side um so that one's cool baron 1898 rules um what else struck you what are big

ones for you going on did you read about that one spooks are closed last year i just found out on the drive over here i shouldn't have been looking at my phone driving but i was and i found out spooks lot closed a few months ago yeah that was the that was like the first big attraction i think after the when they were branching out from the the fairy tale forest yes oh this was yeah like 1970s like we're we're kind of it's it feels like they're big thunder or something like we can do relevant higher tech things yeah and it i i was shocked when i saw this and i couldn't i was like oh my god it's like a giant haunted mansion like walkthrough it's not even a walkthrough it is a walk through but it's it's almost like mainlining the

haunted mansion where instead of going through an environment you see a little like pre-show but then you go into a room and then it just like throws the whole thing at you at once so you just stand there and you're looking at a giant courtyard at night and everything is like happening in front of you but you don't move so it's like a weird animatronic spooky play where there's coffins wiggling, and then there's a guy hanging in one corner, and you look over somewhere else, and there's a witch burning,

and then there's some monks. But it's all happening at the same time in front of you. It was cool. So they already, when they were closing it, they uploaded multiple videos of like ride throughs of this attraction including like a 360 which looks like a cg version of it and then they've also uploaded teasers of like this is what the replacement dance macabre is and it appears to be a very similar attraction but you sit in a giant swirling moving theater that will point you

at different walls like different scenes and stuff that sounds good wow that sounds good dance macabre i think is the classical music piece that played in the original ride did you say also a witch burning like like there's like suffering in this right oh my god well there's a whole story that when i was there because i don't speak dutch i didn't understand any of it but i watched a youtube video today that explains some of it and it's like that you're in a haunted castle that was cursed because the owner uh yeah like kind of gave up a witch and she got burned so she put a curse on the castle and so you're watching the ramifications of that so you're watching like the care the caretaker hang himself you watch the

the witch burn you watch someone's funeral but it's like it's really everything is like from what i remember kind of happening at once so it's just like um sensory overload on like spooky stuff this sounds i cannot i actually didn't get to watching a ride through this i can't this sounds so insane and like you know you talk like uh oh it's so crazy that there's a hanging body in the haunted mansion and do you see the hanging occur do you see the moment of of death i don't think that you see him drop i don't know the bell he's ringing the bell he's ringing the bell you see him write the letter And then he hands the letter

To the audience And then you see him Go up on the chair Well it's Europe It's Europe It's nice to have him Say goodbye It's Europe

Yeah Different over there Well that is also Yeah that So crazy That there's still In our Day and age

A hanging that you witnessed at the haunted mansion in disneyland yes yeah yeah yeah but it's but it's the it's the aftermath it happened a while back right no right and he's like happy about it too like he seems like it's fun and that's him though right that's the ghost host's body. Yeah. He died by suicide. Yes. Do they say why? Because he's trying to, he realizes there's no way out of the haunted mansion. The room that we're in, like the elevator, there's no windows and no doors. And he can't get, so he kills himself. Like, we would all do it if we were stuck in that.

How did he get to the roof? We were stuck in that room for days. How did he get to the ceiling to hang the noose? It's a paradox. And where did he get the noose from? He came there with a noose just in case? I think he's in the attic. Like, we're seeing a little brief, like, we're seeing into the attic of the Haunted Mansion.

Right? Like, he's not in the room directly that we're in. I think we're seeing through the. Sorry. I need to go back to whatever year you guys covered this scene. 2017. Yeah, but I don't think we were we were very detailed and we always are about the haunted mansion we did not discuss where he got the noose

from and i guess that's true do you know the book boundless realm yeah this book you gotta get this book it's incredible it's uh it's a former cast member wrote just the most in-depth book on the Haunted Mansion at Disney World, but analyzing every inch of it as though it were basically like an art piece or whatever. Wow. But it's, I've been just working my way through it very slowly over the last few months, but it's a wonderful book. Boundless Realm for any Haunted Mansion fans. It sounds cool, but it sounds like it doesn't have a definitive answer for your questions.

I got to go back and look. No, I think he does. Oh, he does? Okay. Maybe not how he got the noose. Could it possibly be fashioned from parts of his clothes that he stripped off? It is a rope. It is a rope? I believe you can see that it's a rope. It's not like a necktie. People used to have a rope on

them a lot more often back in the day. Like a horse or something. A horse he good point like yeah all right we got it this is you however i this is all right derailing the no no i well my concern also is that the the book sounds great but that you've just thrown us something to make us go even slower through the Haunted Mansion. This is terrifying. You're going through it way too fast. I thought it was a dream. Most of the room agrees with you.

We'll take a vote. Do we admit this book into evidence or not? We'll discuss it. What is other stuff here? Oh, the the flying dutchman the flying dutchman seems incredible yeah which one is that this is a water coaster okay yeah this is in 2007 so you would have it would have been there at least um okay this is a evil sailor who recruits his crew from orphanages despite that there is a heavy

storm blowing into port he sets sail for the Dutch East Indies even though it's Easter um like wait and I found another description that like okay here we go Captain Willem van der Decken sailed the seven seas

looking for riches and fortune with his crew of orphans. He was so greedy. He even set sail on Easter Sunday, which was forbidden. So this is a scary ride. That's a morality play about not working on Easter. And now the ship is cursed and it's doomed to sail the seas forever. And you are on the ship. So you're fucked

you're one of the orphans basically and then here's some of this more crazy mummy dialogue for when all despair for his lack of fear for God he proclaims I will sail storm or not Easter or not this motherfucker

prohibited or not I will sail even into eternity and then before the big drop there's a scary voice that says you shall also sail until the end of time so we got multiple scary mummy type attractions with big four but with crazy writing with like a dialogue that cuts into your heart it's great damning you to be a sailor forever. An orphan sailor always working on Easter. Your Groundhog Day is Easter in 1678. Jason wouldn't like that.

That's a Sunday. That's a day of rest. Yeah, it's a day of rest. It's one of the many days that Jason rests. Yeah, no, he says Sunday, Monday, Tuesday through Thursday.

And then Thursday you take a break because it's a busy Wednesday. Yeah. It looks That looks fucking great though I like a good like I feel like I've never Actually been on one one of the like The hybrid where it's a coaster But then there's a splashdown

The line was way too crazy at the SeaWorld One that I've really wanted to do Is that an Atlantis ride? Is it the splashdown is it like is hulk technically a splashdown or no no this one splashes in the what like it starts out and then it becomes a standard coaster right and then it the coaster splashes in the water so this one is an open during winter efteling oh okay yeah because they became year-round at some point, but not the more water-based rides. Also, this ride is in a big Viking ship kind of thing, and I love the Maelstrom so much.

Maelstrom, one of the greats, so we still haven't made it to. It's like this is a whole park that's like the Maelstrom. I think that's the level on which I would really love it. You would want to get yelled at by Norwegians and go inside big old ships. It's a wonderful place with hustling, bustling city centers and tourism. Why did you come here? Get out of here.

Do not witness our tourism. A theme park where you're damned on each ride. Yeah. Every ride damns you. Or you see things that make you feel like you've been that's what i was gonna say yeah or the the one of the few exceptions i would say is a ride that i think is very intriguing the english is dream flight yes oh yeah yeah it's a dark ride um dream looked dream looked and um you suspended. Like the track is above you.

And Peter Pan. Yeah. Yeah. And so you go through all the, there's a big diorama to start. And then there's like a big fantasy forest. And then you are in space, which from the video,

I'm like, this is one of the best portrayals of space in a ride I have ever seen. There's great. Yeah. And you're looking at these planets that are like half planet but they look like almost like they have castles growing out of them um and then you float to somewhere else like another forest and then there's like this big giant spiral room where you're going around a scene and you're kind of descending

if i remember correctly similar to the um calico mine ride actually at at knots where you're looking at just a giant space from a lot of different angles um yeah it's amazing idea that not a lot does and the fact like building a space that is truly three-dimensional and lets you see everything that's not just like well that's a flat you can't go back yeah you're not just going past scenes yeah we've been talking we've been talking about this lately with the people mover and with discovery zone that we like seeing things from different angles that's good i mean that is that is that is not to get all highfalutin but that is something that the dark ride as an art form can achieve in a way unlike any other form yeah uh like when you approach the prisoners trying to get the key from the dog and pirates

uh and you see it in the distance and you creep towards it and then you're seeing it kind of over their shoulder at the dog and then a few moments later you're seeing it from the dog's perspective because you're floating by and like, yeah, angles. Yeah, angles are good. Yeah, it's like bridging different. You get major key frames and then everything in between. It's the great unexplored art form of the 20th century, I think. God, wow.

Jeez, that really does juice me. That makes me feel good about that we talk about these things that we've done this for six years yeah it's good it was art that we're talking about there's so much potential god i've thought about this way too much and not in a while but like there is so much potential with dark rides as like an experience that beyond what we know of in theme parks i think there's a lot there but even like the way that it tells a story where like you're kind of just drifting through and it's not often so much about like tension and storytelling as much as like moment to moment experience is so much more like real

life than like any movie or or anything where you're just like especially on that fata morgana ride we were talking about where you're just kind of like going through these scenes in the you know ancient middle eastern times and you're just like you're just getting a feeling and you're just kind of like observing you're floating through and um it's like well some of the some of the recent rides the rides where they point you at something or they're attempting to do something that's more feels more like cinematic right but it's not as usually as uh interesting or a good experience is like pirates where you're just hanging out with a bunch of right and you're deciding what to look at and yeah yeah yeah you were the like camera you were choosing what to look at in this room that's what makes it different than like a 3d movie yeah right so when they do rides that are like really hardcore pointing except for transformers which is perfect uh everything else

though when they're trying to do that it feels like they're sort of you're pointed at the most perfect things that anyone's ever that one they nailed but everything else it's like they're trying to like imitate sort of a thematic experience but yeah it's generally better in terms of that real life thing tells it the way like especially pirates and i imagine fata morgana too like the like conversations weaving in and out that you like leave one sound oh yeah enter another and enter another and like the lack of music can be a nice thing too in terms of just creating reality and not like imposing no this feels like foreboding and dangerous like you kind of get to decide the feeling of certain scenes like this

the the thing i saw a couple people mention about fata morgana that you don't see in a lot of uh at least american rides it's a boat ride but it's not straight for there's doors there's doors thematic doors that you go through that open up at the start of every scene and like that kind of changes like pirates you're you're floating the whole time there's no real obstruction there's no separation yeah so you get more of like separate yeah so it's like little scenes playing out but you still have to choose what you pay attention to like it's more if they honed in on the like ethereal like well let's just pack this with detail let's pack this forest with dream flight and you can see all these little guys and little creatures wasn't that the cool thing

about a lot of these rides then? I think when you think about what Efteling doesn't have the pressure to do, like that they don't have the pressure to serve a CEO and put money into his pockets, and similarly, they don't need to promote a movie. It's not one piece of a big promotional puzzle. So there's no like, okay, we got a race to get every character in there that everybody i'm glad they didn't put these characters in movies i'll say that i would not see any movie

with any of these characters do you think disney will ever again do a ride like that that's not just about tying in and promoting a movie or a marvel property or star wars property i think the only way it happens is if they sneak it in with like a totally new park like one ride out of like a new park with like six rides and it's probably not in america and it's probably not in america yeah but even then even like tokyo disney c which is not super ip centric they did just there is this big new expansion coming but it's fully all this is ip island basically yeah so we're they're not you're not getting a new uh which ip island sounds like a wonderful place to be it's really not we're all our favorite ip is all together i mean there is like they could do you know uh uh there's enough in guardians of the galaxy like there's enough in like cosmic

marvel or like the magic stuff in marvel where there could just be like a million things going around you you're saying there could be an ip ride that was at least good oh well not per se good but i'm saying something a little more like ethereal and spacey where like the guardians of the galaxy are not yelling at you to complete a task it feels like every marvel attraction so far has been here are many instructions and here is lots of backstory you are being yelled at with specifics as many as you can possibly take i would love what you're describing sounds That's fantastic. I would, I would love to imagine that and hope they would do that. Yeah. Um,

but I don't know. Do you, uh, I did something we talked about last month. Have you done avatar? The, the boat ride? Not yet.

No, I haven't been to Orlando in like 20 something years. Oh, that's going to be a huge one. Yeah. If you do it with family here. I know I, I have two kids.

They're four and two and like i was gonna go after i finished uh working on paul t goldman i was like i want to go take the family there for a week and but also um i take them to universal like a few few times a year and the the older one is just in a mode right now being scared of everything and so and the younger one doesn't know what's happening mostly open to stuff we did the the studio tour and the younger one the two-year-old yeah i mean but to that it's just like either so boring it's just like buildings uh from movies that they'd never heard of or it's like king kong fighting dinosaurs it's like way too scary um and uh but like my older one is afraid of the like one minute uh thunderstorm in the tiki room so it doesn't want to go into

that so like so it's just like oh and he used to be obsessed with pirates and then he hit a certain age where uh he doesn't like the drops basically and uh and so it's like yeah i think i gotta wait till they're old. So I don't want to go to, because I really want to take him to whatever's left of Epcot and see the stuff down there. But it's like, oh, that won't be fun if he's upset or not wanting to do anything.

You might need to do the adult trip. We all need to do the adult trip. Maybe I just need to go by myself for four days. I definitely will be going there solo sooner than i'll be going with my son for all the reasons you're describing um there's he'd spent a lot of time in theme parks he will again sue but if you're to go across the country you need a guarantee that's going to be great and work and not like a horror show for them at every turn. Yeah, I mean, they barely got through the secret

life of pets because there's some, just this vibe of being in a scary city. Yes, yeah, I did that with my son and he, like, well, it was the first of him reckoning with a bar lowering onto you. And imagine you're two years old and that happens.

And also, like, they, you know, like, it has to click to the, that's as far as it can go on a little two-year-old chest. That's as far as it can go beyond just nobody being in there. So it's, like, pressed up. Like, he thinks he's being, like, it's what I thought on every ride when I was still, like, eight, was that he's being fed into a machine that's like an incinerator that's going to burn him up.

So lock him in tight. Like, watching him have to reckon with a bar lower. Oh, my God. It was so awful. And then, Noah, I'm sure you've had this of, like, all right, this ride has started bad, and now we have to get through this. Depending on that's a slow ride. If it stops, like, oh, depending on that's a slow ride. If it stops like,

Oh God, six straight minutes of hell. All right. I'm going to wait till my daughter's like 10 to do any of this stuff. Well, it's either, although, although you agree that like maybe you do,

you do everything between one and two and then maybe it's between one and two. Yeah. Actually, they don't know what's going on. They're not scared. We went all around Tokyo DisneySea when he was six months old and there was no problem.

Six months, that's crazy. And since you've been there and not a lot of guests have been there, comparing the two, in terms of are either of them in greatest theme park in the world conversation or one more than the other did you like one more than the other tokyo disney sea

is like such a more unified environment where you know it really feels like you're on another planet and uh and it just feels so perfectly done except that uh italy part that just does feel like the americana or something that's true we can all go to tuscan part we have so many fake italy's adopted to have any magic to it but um you grew up in new jersey too plenty italy there um but but yeah that's like a crazier achievement i think because it's like this giant intentional thing this is like though i i hadn't thought of it because i until i was looking stuff up for it for this but it's like it really is because it grew so organically it wasn't like a plan uh it wasn't even meant to be a theme park it was like uh like the sports center basically that like yeah and then that started a garden and

then we'll do these little fairy tale exhibits so like yeah that it that it was never like let's build a theme park but it became this yeah so but it does have this crazy quality where it does it almost a lot of it feels like you're just kind of wandering through a forest and then happening upon these like insane um very expensive it's just it's not janky at all they really like the animatronics are good the music is good like it's legit like they spend tens of millions of dollars on these on these rides a lot of full orchestra doing the score for things and wait that's a question also like do you really wander are there like big stretches of this just this just feels like a garden or nature or i just remember that like especially in the part near that fairy tale forest,

you can wander around there for a long time and just find stuff. And then the rest of it, I think, is paved, but also pretty themed, pretty well done. But there isn't any kind of main street or hub or anything that's intentionally designed to bring you into the experience. You just kind of are there, and you're just kind of like Finding stuff there's also this One ride with I think it's a roller coaster Inside with this giant like bird outside

You see a picture of that this giant rock This is called bird rock Bird rock Bird rock Bird rock park I think it's also about how Arabian nights are difficult To endure You'll find a lot of peril I think it's also about how Arabian nights are difficult to endure.

You'll find a lot of peril. More peril. It's a Sinbad coaster, I believe. Okay, yeah. That seems like a common thing there. Sinbad or Sinbad? I'm not sure. It's a good question.

I'm going to say Sinbad just in case. Sinbad, I think is, yeah. Then there's one from just that open, I think, right after we were there, a year or two after we were there. That's a trackless one that has three paths. Did you guys read about that? Oh, Symbolica. Yes, it looks incredible. So this is like they work their little mascot guy into this ride.

And he's a little jester. Is he Jokey? Jokey. I think so, yeahkey and no no wait no pardos that was the old one wait the way jokey is different than pardos i think everything i saw said that the joke the jester's name is pardos i didn't see you're right that's pardos i don't want to be missing a space jester but who is jokeyokey? I saw Jokey, too. Is he a different ride? He might be the old mascot.

One of them is in the Small World knockoff. Pardos, I think, is the new one. That's right, Scott. Okay, but Jokey. Jokey's in the carnival. Oh, I've seen Jokey. He's more of a simple, like the big circular faces. He lives in a hot air balloon, and he likes to eat pizza in the

shape of a heart is that right that's what it says on the website magician and jester uh who was born on the planet symbolica which uh sounds uh adjacent to a mystica i was gonna say sounds like this ride is really wild in terms of the trackless dark ride i mean there's a bunch of scenes that you all do together and then you like pick your path and those paths each have two exclusive scenes on each path and you have an interactive console on the front of the ride vehicle so you can like play an organ wow or or make like different shapes appear some kind of spell in front of you this is i mean i'm sure as with all of these things i would rather see them in person than watch videos but there's some of these you're like the video maybe the video is not

conveying the whole thing but the video is conveying a lot like this you can tell very clearly from this video this is one of the best rides built anywhere. Did you see? Yeah, there's a scene where you're in like an aquarium and there's this giant, I think it was real. I don't think it was video whale that comes down and is floating and blinking. Yeah, the whale is insane. It's incredible looking.

And then the glass starts to crack similar to the Jurassic World thing here, I think, where it starts to crack, but then real water starts coming in. Wow. It's cool. But let me ask you this. Does it have three giant fans blowing trash at you? Or is that an Amistica

exclusive? Well maybe Amistica. He said it's closing to tour Europe. That was their ridiculous excuse lie for why it was closing. That's not happening. But that will run in Europe for like Starlight Express. It'll just never close. There's no way they can get those giant fans over to Europe.

They're like as big as a room. Maybe through magic we can. Their trash regulations are also much more strict there you know it's true at efteling the creatures suck the paper away from you at a mystica the papers blessed it at you this is a very specific yeah uh no this thing i mean what I wrote down about Symbolica is this is like a new journey into imagination. This is like a

deeply sincere cinematic, like stirring with original characters and not just Pardos, the jester from space, but also King Pardolphus. It's all about going to visit King Pardulfus,

but before you can get to him, you have to get to his taskmaster guard, O.J. Punctual. Of course. Is this also a European thing, that they're still willing to name characters O.J.? Yeah. What year did this open? 2017.

Yeah, okay. I mean, why not? The name's out there. I like O.J. Punctual. O. 2017. Yeah, okay. I mean, why not? The name's out there. It's catchy. I like OJ Punctual. OJ Punctual. I like OJ. You like OJ?

He's funny. He's like an influencer now. I do his Twitter videos. I mean, I turn to him when I want to know what to think about the slap. Yeah. He's always shaking his head and stuff. Yeah. Foolishness. am when i not want to know what to think about the slap yeah any other events in our world yeah foolishness um no this thing's oh wait and here's i forgot another one you jason you're asking about like who made these rides uh etf ride systems built this one i think they've made a lot of the

more innovative trackless rides but also a little ride called knights in white set i thought that was sally corp they did i mean i think they did the like effects and the decor but the like the the track you're talking about the track a lot of people are trying to take credit for that ride yes everyone's racing everybody is liars i wish i could have gone on that ride that's an ethereal ride without like a straight like a to a to c narrative like a to b narrative you know it's more of an experience yeah you're not saying i haven't been saying the full name either knights and white satin the the ride. Yeah, because at the height of lockdown, I was just buying things on eBay.

One of the things I bought was the psychedelic coffee mug for Nights in the White Satin, the trip. It's an inconvenient shape. It's got a lot of squirrels on it. What do you mean inconvenient shape? It's just odd. It's trippy. It's a trippy design.

It's square on the top then it goes to like a circular bottom and it's heavy have you posted a photo of this i i think i did see that mug let's look at the mug i um the i it's we've been calling shots a lot that's been the catchphrase of the year what i'd really like to do jason i'd love for you to be there. Well, I've been dreaming for years of Hard Rock Park 3 with John Binkowski and you as well. I don't know how to. He's got to have listened to that episode, right? I don't know. That's a question.

If he's aware of it, I guess if you're, there's not that much media about it. We were very respectful to him. We kind of were doing it assuming he would listen to it. Yeah. Some people are like close enough to... What's he up to these days? Does anyone know? He works...

He has a themed entertainment company in Orlando. What do they do? They helped on that Bourne Identity show. Oh, really? That's so un-wacky. Which we need to see. Everybody speaks very highly of it. Where is that? That's so Wow Which we need to see Everybody Yeah Where is that

That's at Universal Florida Oh damn You replaced I gotta go You really gotta go Solo No kid

Bachelor I might have to do it I haven't Yeah That's 20 years That's a That's a whole Lot of stuff

A whole lot of Construction Closed Yeah You gotta see everything That's closed You missed a lot of stuff. All Epcot projects that have been canceled.

I can't go to Florida right now. I got Royce Rocco on my tail. Oh, wow. I got to lay low. Oh, he'll send his boys after you. Are you sure he wouldn't just take you around Orlando? That's a ride, yeah, going on Bryce Rocco's Daytona. But be careful, might be a bomb aboard.

You talk about people listening who are only a stone's throw away. And we'll talk a little more at the end about your show. But for anybody who's watched Paul, you said at the beginning you think it's very possible that Paul is listening to this. I just know that. Yeah, I think Paul's listening to a lot of interviews i'm doing or uh you know yeah i think uh he's you know he's getting a lot of at him and checking stuff out and seeing the response to the show so i i yeah he may he may listen to this and also he was saying to me the other day that um his first wife who's in the show uhena was pitching him ideas on like new things to do

and one of them that he was excited about was could you do a Paul T Goldman theme park and I said well actually I'm going on a theme park podcast that some good friends of mine do but then we started talking about something else before I got any of the any of the details of what that would be pass them along please yeah send send screenshots i can see if he wants to record something uh and send it to you you get an exclusive oh my god a paul t goldman appearance you know what let me see i'll text him you should send it first uh john benkowski and see if he's interested in starting and funding it. Yes.

Let's tie it all together. Yeah. He could be the Wallner of that project. That's right. Yeah. Are you saying Wallner doesn't want to be the Wallner of another? No. He just wants someone from that world.

I knew how to make a TV show. If you're going to do a theme park where you do whatever rides he wants to do, then you need someone. Yeah. And that's, yeah. Well, if Paul is listening also, we are describing one of the only people out there who has built an entire theme park from scratch. This is who you need to work with.

And now it's just a matter of pitches. I mean, his whole life is a roller coaster. So, I mean, is it? That's what Minkowski should do next is an autobiography in the form of a theme park oh right his life story yeah that so it involves so there's a ride that is hard rock park yes that would be the ride would be his experience of the rise and fall of hard rock park but that would be the ride geez that's only one one part of it like the rot the rise up through yeah like you see all the ideas forming and the brainstorming and the possibilities you make a shady deal with a

native american tribe to license the hard rock brand that's right yes and then you go off the cliff and you just go and then agreement deals with the eagles flapping by you yeah licensing deals the bare metal family waving to you from heaven and you go underwater you go you can make the ratio correct like the lift hill as is as long as the prep period and then the drop is as fast as four months and then when it's over you just stay there like the park is still there you just stay there forever we we need to get his thoughts on like because i don't know if you guys have been following this but uh hard rock is taking over the mirage casino hotel no i'm's pretty bad rebrand that a hard

rock they're gonna rebrand it it is gonna close for a while did they close the hard rock in vegas is that gone that's the virgin hotel okay now so mirage is becoming a hard rock mirage is becoming a hard rock are they gonna get rid of their big sweet roy's enchanted garden that is slowly being retired i think they're rehoming all the animals and stuff this is my brief googling says volcanoes fine for now for like the next year and then they're gonna close everything because they are gonna build a guitar shaped hotel tower you know because it's gonna be like the one they're building in is it florida are they building it somewhere else on the East coast? There's a big guitar hotel being built. I think they have one. Yeah.

This looks so stupid. Look at a picture of this. Yeah. Yeah. That's what, yeah, yeah. Guitar tower.

They built one of those already. It looks cool. It looks so cool. He's gunning for a free room. It's just so, the whole like idea of like hard rock is uh it's really relevant it's really relevant yeah god jc wait i was judging off of the the um the headline uh it's it's just it says it'll live on into 2023 but then the quote is we will not be continuing to operate

the volcano once we commence construction well what does it have to do with rock unless they you know it's like the i don't know flames bursting that would be an hard rock concert yeah would it not jimmy buffett has a song called volcano but it's not he i guess jimmy buffett's not hard rock so and he's already got a place across the street that's right so what the fuck are you talking about yeah you don't want to double up on that a volcano is a big part of dianetics and there's a lot of rock star scientology that's true yeah chick korea it all ties together that's for the chick korea wing there's there's online uh hulk hogan has been seen with a couple people from scientology recently yes yeah that's good he needs it these worlds have been waiting to meet forever uh um what have we met oh i know something mike you to quote you a little while ago you said you

did not want to see any characters from oh well in a film however there is a tv show called the magical world of pardos and it's not i thought it was animated because it's a mostly as a character you mostly see animated no this was like a cheapo although effects i don't even want to say cheapo it's just not it doesn't look like a movie right not a big budget potter but like a you know like a decent size syndicated sci-fi type show the magical world of pardos like better than bible man budget definitely better than bible yeah Budget Definitely better than Bible Man Budget Although I put on a minute of it last night And Aaron said

Oh this looks like Space Cases Oh yeah Remember Space Cases? I do yeah So if you want something with Space Cases quality That vibe I mean I'm impressed by that That Efteling made a show

Yeah They're making people fall in love with Pardos and OJ Punctual So, I mean, I'm impressed by that, that Efteling made a show. Yeah. They're making people fall in love with Pardos and O.J. Punctual. There's a TV broadcast that actually kind of tied in with, it was right around the time of when they were opening Spook Slot, the On a Castle attraction, which was Kate Bush did a performance, an Efteling TV special special like exclusive performance yeah because her song withering heights was very big in europe yeah i watched this whole special uh it's so great it might have broken the dam for me on liking kate bush i'm like i mean i've liked everything

i've heard but i've never like gone deep but i like i liked every song in this thing so much oh yeah uh the song i think it's called them heavy people it's all from her first album which i've now listened to and really like i'm like oh this this might be what i need but her doing weathering it's in the in spook slot and then um and then uh this them heavy people she does like arm and arm with these three like troll creature like like with animatronics and she's swaying back and forth with them it's so charming it's such a like great performance piece for better than like uh megan trainer in front of the disney world castle i don't like a holiday special is what you're saying um to me but it's you know in the eye of the whole you know there's there's there's

a quantity with megan trainer because she's been part of those specials every year every year it seems like the last 12 years can i bring up something real quick that's completely unrelated but i have to mention it okay jason is wearing i think socks that are spider-man socks these are spider-man socks but they're like wool because of the way pretty warm to me it looks like you're wearing a full spider-man outfit under your clothes it doesn't like i cannot i can't get the thought out of my head so i had to say it looks like it looks like jason is spider-man on the side and i couldn't help but bring it up because it's been driving me nuts for like this is actually a classic dutch pastime it's called

spider manning oh okay you wear a regular outfit but you have a full spider-man outfit underneath i would i would not be shocked if you were just wearing like long spider-man underwear under that it's chilly i know it's not what's happening actually you know what prove it to me that those are socks just for my own these are very snug socks with very snug joggers on. They go pretty high. I can't see it. That didn't prove it. That didn't prove it.

That was so high and he's not going to show me. Well. You're pointing at him like the Spider-Man's in the meme. Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. You know? As soon as he leaves he's gonna pull that mask up and either go uh stop some crime or commit a crime that's how he's getting the cvs candy for free that's it he's faking coupons. Yeah. Well, I run in. I send someone in to get it. And then when they run out, I don't stop them.

Oh, like Uncle Ben. Yeah. Just like Uncle Ben. You're right. Wow. Well, that's a scheme. And then I forget the lesson and eat the candy he got me. What have we not gotten to?

When did you stay there there did you do the hotel uh we did we stayed around a lake um there's a hotel in there and there's a bunch of quote holiday villages so the holiday village i was looking at that today that's called um village boss rich rich um which really looked like a family friendlyfriendly mid-Somar kind of situation. Like, it really had those buildings and that vibe. We stayed, like, stay overnight. Yeah, I don't know what it was called, but it was like a little,

they're just little buildings around a lake. And it's, I mean, it's really cool. And you can just walk around and there's a, yeah, there's an island With a little castle And this, yeah, I got pictures of that And then you see that And it's on the way

Oh, yeah It's nice, it's nice That's great I'll send us any good pictures also The main hotel has these, like, crazy themed rooms Yeah, we were in a themed room Cinderella suite that's like got a you know like got a little like some boiling stew somewhere like oh we weren't in an elaborate one we just had

like it was like a little old-timey and but it had a painting of this um owl on the wall that was very cool whoa yeah that's good that's really intense the owl who hunts sinners another classic intense. The Owl Who Hunts Sinners. Another classic children's tale. Well, you talk themed suites. You know what the Efteling Hotel has is the Pardos suite. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes, it sparkles with magic. Read a story together from one of the books in

Pardos bookcase or watch the story of Pardos and Symbolica on TV. Watch Pardo make love to your wife. of the books in pardo's bookcase or watch the story of pardo's and symbolica on tv make love to your wife hear his jingle jingle as he goes down on welcome to europe um wait i have a little bit of one that i missed i think of a kind of watershed ride for this place is the python um and it's kind of a it's controversial in efteling history it's it's just it's a steel looping coaster it seems like just a good steel coaster um that is not fairy

tale and forest and mythology and it was really the first ride that broke from that. And so there were people who didn't like it. And I think it broke all kinds of noise ordinances. So the ride was protested. And I read this. I'm not really sure how they got over it. I think maybe they just did it. Just stopped listening to the townsfolk.

But anyway, it's just notable for being a very solid roller coaster really got people in the door took them into the into the 70s but there's a lot of silly stuff how they promoted this ride and some of this by the way comes from expedition theme park they made a bunch of great videos about it um so to credit them um but that's where i learned about a couple of weird things one is that for a commercial i think they attached a porsche to the coaster and there's a video you can watch it for them installing it and then this won't be too interesting sound-wise it's just for you guys to see there's a full porsche on the front as the front car of a roller coaster all right okay why do that Why do that? I don't know.

I don't know what it conveyed or was it for a Porsche commercial? I'm not sure. But the ride vehicle is red and so is the Porsche. It's really silly looking. I guess it's nice to give a car the chance to ride a roller coaster.

It was going to die. Porsche's dying witch. Our confusion confusion they would call a lack of understanding on america's part you know they they just go for it at efteling like they they commit to the bit at eftel like they they don't ask the question you know they committed to an aesthetic and like not using uh cheap materials and stuff efteling is essential like imagine what epcot would look like if like the day one you know thesis of epcot and execution of opening epcot just never tapered off never stopped yeah yeah um another thing that is said about said by expression theme but there were a bunch of musical acts that performed at the opening,

including local favorites, the Dolly Dots. And let me just play a bit of the Dolly Dots. I think I found my new favorite band. They're like ABBA, but just the girls, and then two more sets of girls. And it's like they're not even quite at like Spice Girls level of dancing. They're like they're not professional, but they're on roller skates for this one performance.

But this is I'm just going to play a little of the song Money Lover, which is a screed against money lovers. And I really like this song, though. They're all all of the Dolly Dots are yelling at a rich man in an uh open top car are you sure this is not an anti-semitic track he's not sure now well it's sung in english but with a thick accent so which might be masking some very offensive lyrics let's hear what money what the lyrics of money lover are um well i love the lyrics which if you don't understand it when i play it these lyrics are bite the dust hot shot there's a roulette and then it gets to roulette yeah well you see this awful rich guy in his uh in his showy car and then you see him doing some evil gambling

but by the end after they all dance and yell at him by the end he's penniless he walks in like they impoverished him and he's drinking in an alley so the dolly dots ruin this man they killed yeah they destroyed him but I really like the

go-go's or something it's a little bit yeah they start a little more ABBA seemingly and then they kind of turn that way I really like the gogos or something it's a little bit yeah they start a little more abba seemingly and then they they kind of turn that way um i really like bite the dust hot shot that feels like a cousin of um what's the mickey phrase that we soak your head fresh yeah yeah it feels like a cousin of that and then there's one more thing and i think this was kind of the like the python must have been the splash mountain of efteling where they're trying all kinds of crazy stuff to to promote it um actually efteling has many splash mountains as we've learned but in terms of promotional efforts and this i have to play a second of that one promotional thing that they did is they did an elaborate escape sequence from the roller coaster like a car was coming at a magician

who was tied to the tracks and the way before lance burton did it outside of vegas uh way before that it was first done by a belgian magician i think named uh named Joe Alcatraz. And this is just going to be the sounds of Joe Alcatraz moaning and writhing as he tries to escape the rollercoaster. And then at the last second, when you think all hope is lost, Joe Alcatraz is saved by a camera cut.

Just suddenly like, this is the most cop outy thing. I mean, granted, if you watch it, the coaster does come at him, but like, why do the cut? I don't know. I does come at him, but why do the cut? I don't know. I'm not sure.

Wait, where is the cut? You were looking at one. There's one angle for most of his riding. Oh, and then it, yeah. I mean, that's, yeah. But I guess it is. Well, look, he's on the track, and then he's still screaming, and then the car comes. It's better than the Lance Burton one.

I was going to say, is this where Lance Burton got the idea? Yeah, Joe Alcatraz got to it first. And I would like to learn everything I can about Joe Alcatraz. He's got a pretty nifty van with his name on it. Wow. Really like the name. So these Python promotional efforts, love it. You know, that's all, like, if you can't go to a park,

what you at least want are a lot of bizarre YouTube videos stemming from the park, and there's no shortage of that. There's some, I should have actually taken a clip of this. There's some great, we were just talking also on the PeopleMover episode about that 70s horn vibe that's missing from Disneyland. Like that Herb Albert. We didn't say porn wait oh you said horn horn okay sorry i thought i mean you because you could describe that music as being like herb albert the famous pornographer well there's a very sexy woman on the cover of one of his albums so to me that's whipped cream yes indeed very body dance happened to mr albert's music the bond the body brass of

herb albert i believe is the name of the record well there you go uh so yeah but there's a lot of commercials that have that vibe too um for efteling oh sure yeah yeah huh like a little swinging retro you know that that thing yeah yeah um good commercials good materials i don't know what have we not uh gotten to we've been very productive for being i think we covered the main good overview a lot i mean there's other they have um they have a madhouse style ride where it's like you're sitting in a room and it seems like the whole place goes upside down it's fun these are kind of there there used to be one at six flags great adventure i remember doing uh that was like houdini based uh that's just neat oh yeah i did that yeah yeah it stuck around for a while

and um so they have that at one point in time they had a bobsled roller coaster that's like imagine a giant bobsled track but with like roller coaster cars and then yeah you're not on a tread they just release the car they just release the car and then that that was replaced by another upgrade by like dueling power coasters which i i'd always seen this phrase i i never really processed it but a power coaster is a roller coaster that is powered the whole time it's not like dropped from a hill to like none of it is gravity you're saying yeah so it can it can do like unique starts like uh uh so i i again just committing to like oh we're going to do something interesting if we're removing something we're replacing it with something worthwhile and there's a museum too

within the park there's a small museum where you can see like old artifacts or like a track from you know old rides and wow yeah the museum's great i went there it's great it's worth going efteling's great it's a great place it sounds yeah you got cleaned up their act they did the right thing they got their act especially great they were kicking and screaming into the present day and now we're good uh i did i did look up like how to get here to see if it's like because i always heard like oh you get on a bus in the middle of Amsterdam and it doesn't run that often. Yeah, it was very inconvenient for sure.

So I looked it up and it does mention like there are many public transportation ways to get here, but then there's driving directions from different points. And the first thing i saw was just the phrase maintaining the direction of door direct slash bretta and i was like oh man this is this is a little intimidating they're already using the phrase i've i understand but i've never seen before maintain the direction is his door direct a monster or something it definitely seems like a thing but it was the website is fun to peruse because like there's just little phrases here and there where it's like

not quite a direct translation yeah yeah yeah it's not terrible english but it's a little like it just reads a little crazy yeah in there like the goat like the um jason what was this specific one of the in the fairy tale forest there's like 30 different scenes and stories represented and the one is you peek into the cottage with like oh it's incredible there's a wolf dressed goats sitting around the table yeah it's these dressed goats there's a wolf at the door he has a full suit suit and tie yeah he is a suit and tie and then there's these um he's you know moving they're all moving and then yeah they're sitting on the table and it just looks like just this crazy like movie i mean it looks like um what lars von treer's antichrist

where the animals come in at the end um where it's just like they're just having this weird meal or no they're playing a game. But it's haunting. It's really disturbing. I'm scared. It's wonderful. It's really awful. As long as they're goats willingly. As long as they're...

What I'm saying is I am so disturbed by the donkeys having become donkeys in Pinocchio. The hands of magic magic so as long as they're okay with being goats that helps me here's another thing i love and i can give you this clip is these these boats um there's a boat ride on a lake but they just go on a track and they just run them when they're empty so it's just like so scary there's just like this line of empty boats with no one driving them that just like float through all day and night this ride had no survivors they're like they're coming back from hell well they were all taken they were all okay the uh resurrection happened that's better

yeah left behind it happened um uh yeah there's some mid-somar stuff uh i don't know that that's the right country to be referencing but you know what i'm saying no just like weird euro like yeah just euro euro weirdness yeah yeah it seems like the thing about it and that it's like it's still allowed to be weird there isn't some cedar fair type company it's like yeah i mean you might get more people if you take away the weirdness Sure It's Yeah It's weird And rough around the edges And I'd really like to go

Just Seth Meyers Was interviewing Jordan Peele And they were talking about going When they were in Boom Chicago This was like a week ago On his show Oh I saw that Yeah

They went Yeah During Boom Chicago's Amsterdam Oh yeah Improv theater A lot of people do Go there for like a year

And do improv We never You didn't audition for that Did you? I didn't audition for that i didn't audition for that because the way everyone described it and the way it's been talked about it's like we go um to amsterdam and you do improv for a year and the audiences do not like you but it's cool to just hang out in amsterdam for a year you don't get paid very much and the audiences

are not wild about a lot of the shows but it's a great tourist i went there when i was 18 i think i went to a boom chicago show in amsterdam yeah you hated it i i like i was 18 i liked it i think will forte was um did a distant there actually their alumni role is it's insane of people who did that yeah well the problem is the locals were all in the audience like who are these performers none of them are goat faces um uh jason anything else about uh you want to throw in for me that covers all my efteling memories yeah no it's just a good it's a good place go geez yeah great uh i'm i'm very excited too we will uh i'm so glad you could

you could take us through it mentally jason wallner you survived podcast the ride uh so so happy you could do this and let's thank you i will get the something you do not typically choose to do which is exit through the gift shop you don't have to hear either however uh faulty goldman is so amazing we've all watched it yeah we all love it very much and uh and the listeners should uh should check it out thanks no i have a new i have a new show newish came out a few weeks ago uh it's on the streaming service peacock it's called paul t goldman um look for the thumbnail check it out keep your eyes opening click it watch it it's six parts um and it's it's the one with the guy it's the one with the guy who doesn't look like the typical

stars of shows it doesn't but that was from a photo shoot where like it wasn't a great we didn't get a great photo that really captures him. He kind of looks unspectacular, uninteresting in that photo. He's a pretty interesting guy. And the show is about his story that he tells about marrying a woman who turned out had a secret double life and his attempts to take down her international crime ring, which may or may not exist and and uh and that's kind of the simplest way of uh talking about the show and it's much more complicated than that as you guys know oh yeah some great actors some great actors show up in it great actors uh yeah like paul t gold

paul t goldman melinda mcgraw earl brown just great actors you've seen in all sorts of things but but acting with this real guy who uh wrote this script and lived his life and then there's a bunch of other kind of documentary elements to it it's a very hard show to describe but it's an easy show to watch that is absolutely i know like like it sounds like it's it might sound like math when you hear it, that it's all these formats blending. But it is so exciting, and it goes down so smooth, and it keeps, like, there's such variety to it because it's cycling through the formats,

but it's all weaving one story so wonderfully together. I hope so. Editing, phenomenal. Thank you. We had really great editors, and uh yeah i worked on it for about 10 years and it's out and uh that's my plug it's a it's a really good one and i i don't want to say i don't want to that implies that other people's plugs have not but but look uh it's top notch it's so i i demand that the audience uh check out Paul T. Goldman on Peacock.

I would say this crowd, the listener base of Podcast the Ride, definitely a type of person who's after experiences. I would say this is more of an experience than other TV shows. By the time you get to the end, you've gone through something. Whether that's good or not. Every possible permutation of what it's like in disguise. you get to the end uh you've gone through something whether that's good or not like every possible permutation of of like what it's like in this guy's mind inside and out of it and and things are turned on him in a way you don't expect and uh yeah there isn't an easy uh path

through this but i i hope it's uh enjoyable in some way if If you sign up for Peacock today, you can watch all of Paul T. Goldman. You can watch the Royal Rumble tomorrow. And then you can cancel after the free trial. You know, cancel on Sunday. Jason's not supposed to be saying that. Cancel after the free trial.

That's Jason Sheridan. Jason Wallner had no involvement with that. I'm a Warner Brothers Discovery guy okay I'm a Zaslav brother everything else is cancelled

as soon as I Zaslav's damn hey we gotta cut the fat okay you know we've all heard my many rants

about the national deficit they should do like a reality show on HBO Max that's just zaz love deciding what stuff to cancel oh yeah of hbo max and like each episode he like he's like weighing different things and like people are pleading for their shows to stay on begging yeah it's just got

that like tiktok reality competition music he's like yeah he's like sitting on a throne he's like it's called like the show's called please mr zaslav and then and then what he cancels at the end of that episode disappears from hbo backs the next day and you're watching you're watching please mr zaslav you can't go quickly watch whatever he canceled no because it's gone and as soon as it ends it's gone and then but the season finale is one of the shows on the chopping block is please mr zaslav and he has to decide whether or not he commits a show suicide so you never see the end of the last episode because it just disappears before you can watch it yeah if he shoot if that's the one that goes it just goes back to the menu no credits nothing and it's and there's if that's the one that goes it just goes back to the menu no

credits nothing and it's and there's no evidence that the show ever existed wow wow wow that's good i should pitch that to hbo yeah we'll cut this we'll cut it and you'll

have a great sense of humor about the current status all the people i do there uh have been like go so i don't uh yeah yeah i'm burning i'm burning no bridges that place down there yeah it's a ghost town any show made by anyone i like there is not the wait eagleheart's still up i don't know how i mean

it's because they don't maybe they're if they're pulling things off hbo max based on not wanting to pay residuals eagleheart they still send me bills they're like this is how much you owe us seriously because i got like i got like some uh you know profit statement or whatever and it was at the last line was in the red i owe i still owe them money what do you what i don't know how could that fall out of your pocket i don't know i don't know they paid you so somehow eagle art is still on the adult swim nook of uh of hbo max check it out right next to the rick and morty thumbnail definitely that's that's gonna stay if you don't feel like clicking on that particular thumbnail for whatever reason click a few notches away there's a lot of good thumbnails non-rick and morty um that are

available to click and nobody in your show nobody's had to have been recast you don't have to go re-dub anybody in eagle heart not yet not yet shockingly but anybody's he's got ample opportunity to need to be re-dubbed uh this is how much i uh this is how strongly I feel about the Paul T. Goldman plug I will forego our plugs We will not do it Because that confuses the issue Jason is grimacing Jason is so upset with you now for not shooting our Patreon He's going to go into Spidey mode

Oh he's taking the suit off The pants are coming out We better wrap it up quickly Watch Paul T. Goldman He's going to shoot the web to Scott's mouth. No other assignments. Goodbye. Forever.

Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.