Podcast: The Ride - Epic Universe First Look

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

Mike and Scott flew to Orlando and took a little look-see at Universal's newest, portal-based theme park: Epic Universe!  Whoa! "The Rules: Fake Office Final Four " episode is up at: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever Dog. Florida to check out a preview of Universal's new theme park, Epic Universe. Quick, get to the Kronos or your podcasting app. It's Podcast The Ride, where we love theme parks more than Maya the Explorer and her navigator, Captain Cacao, love scouring the cosmos for new candies and confections to share with the Celestians. I'm Scott Gairdner, joined by Mike Carlson. Hello, and I will also say, but I don't know why, it was more of a calm, it was like a nicer one. That was you feeling calm and back at home with even the reference to Captain Cacao. I was taking a deep breath from that, like not saying it's mealy-mouthed or complicated

in its mythology, it's just right. It's perfect. It's perfect. It's perfect. Jason Sheridan, hi. Hi, I learned about Maya the Explorer a few weeks ago and I've been wondering about her background, her motivations. Oh sure, well.

That you answered it in one sentence, I feel a sense of relief. Yeah, I guess the other motivation is to You should make the noise too, go. Ah, ah, ah. Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, we should remember to breathe in these scour the cosmos. You should make the noise too. Go, ah, ah, ah. Yeah, it feels good. Yeah, we should remember to breathe in these things. We don't have to just flap our gums all the time.

We can take deep breaths, center ourselves. Yeah. Which is something we're going to have to do in this episode because a lot of excitement has occurred. We got big stuff to talk about here. Via our social media, you might be aware that Mike and I took a whirlwind last-minute trip to Orlando, Florida recently, primarily to check on the progress of a highly anticipated Orlando attraction, Taffer's Tavern on I-Drive. We gave it a good look, see.

I mean, it was maybe going to be just that in and out just here in that window see how it's going answer if you're curious uh not well it seems like there's nothing in there seems like it's really behind he was making posts about opening soon and then we looked in and we're like this doesn't look soon define soon yeah what it's? I see on the show He does these things In like four days But here we are Looking into a window And I don't

How can you have a bar When you don't literally Have a bar John Clock's ticking You got a lot of You're gonna have traffic Coming in from new theme parks

And you're not even Gonna be open in time They're running previews This should be too We very Pretty late not so late but kind of late at night just had to wander in front of this

closed never opened restaurant and no one was around really except like a couple stragglers I feel like well people filing out of there was some like kind of martini bar yeah was it the was it the bar or was it just the uh mall in general

which i believe is called the point orlando where was playing an old wrestling theme was that coming out of the bar or was that just on the speakers of the so i forget the name of the actual song but the monday night raw theme song like my generation across the nation like that whatever that one was they were just playing it it sounded like it might be coming from the mall but i suspect it's coming from the bar or club that has not been the theme song for like 25 years it's an old yeah monday night raw theme wow old wrestling theme but there's that's some orlando should know the lyrics i apologize orlando bars pumping an old monday night rock theme that rules and that was also around the time as that was playing then we looked in a store window where we saw a couple of great signs do you remember them offhand you took a photo or video i posted it too what do you like what were the ones that lit us up

do you mind taking a sec and then i'll take a look yeah no this is very us to be more excited about some random signs we saw than the brand new theme park i truly thought that was from margaritaville no no these are too bawdy they aren't that's why i was surprised i thought like whoa florida margaritaville plays by a different set of rules i well there was one that lit us up a lot and then there's the all of them though are pretty good uh so there's a really margaritaville looking like parrot with sunglasses in a in a cocktail or a margarita i guess uh carved in a piece of painted wood that says screw the crackers polly wants a cocktail i missed that then other under it there's like a kind of just a wooden sign that says bitch's kitchen and then there's a sign under that similar sign just kind of basic white and then with

sort of block letters kind of thing dear laundry don't be sad nobody's doing me either which i don't know my god i don't know why you would put that up and where would you would have to put that in a place in the house that faces the laundry? I guess. Does that mean the machine or does it mean your hamper? I guess you're, you would, to make sense,

it would be your hamper. Because hamper, but with the POV of a hamper be, would you have to put it on the ceiling so that this, it would have a view of, how does a hamper see? How does a hamper see? It's a very good question.

If it has a lid on it, I guess you can draw a couple eyes. Yeah, but if it has a lid on it, it ain't seeing no signs. That's true. That's true. The laundry thing. That song, How Does a Hamper See, that was going to be in the live action Tangled. Originally, it was going to be in Gigantic, but that got canceled. It kept passing from movie to movie.

It just kept passing from movie to movie. A little in somewhere. Don't give up song. And then the winner, I think, is- Oh, my God. Best sign ever. It's the winner of best sign ever made. Right.

It says, we don't skinny dip, we chunky dunk, which I don't know. We all LOL'd at that. I'm still LOL-ing at it later. From the other side of the country, that just got seared in my mind like a cattle brand. I sent it to you and Gio right at that. I'm still LOL-ing at it later. From the other side of the country, that just got seared in my mind like a cattle brand. I sent it to you and Gio right after that. And I think hopefully you guys enjoyed it as much. There's a couple other

ones that got cut off here because I kind of took this photo quickly, but it is just, it feels so good to be in Orlando, Florida. Yeah, look, headline number one. It was great. It was great.

It was wild to do it in such a concise way. It didn't let us do a ton of what there is to do there, but it's really, I think what you've always dreamed of, Mike, which is just quick pop downs. Just make Orlando your Vegas. And it felt pretty good. It was fun to do, even more fun than going chunky duncan um jason yo sorry go ahead no no i was gonna i was gonna say jason did not uh join us for uh various reasons among them being uh your marriage i was getting married yes congratulations i don't do anything really whirlwind nowadays but also i was busy getting married i was gonna comment on the video like

this is why you couldn't make the ceremony but we didn't really do we should be well we should yes we should be clear we were not being derelict in any sort of way no we're not asked to be groomsmen a year ago and then we said whoops sorry epic universe gotta go we were just doing we've been talking about this since uh october november and we missed we're gonna do it on our anniversary march 14th and then we just got delayed for any number of reasons so we were able to do it like two weeks later and it was just us and the it's not a justice of the peace she had some some weird title, but she was really funny. She was really fun. And then our friend Andrew came and took some wonderful pictures

that we've been kind of rolling out. Andrew, the guest on the Horror Award show. He was a friend of the show, Andrew Grissom. Yeah, Andrew Grissom. We've seen what a good man he is, and he did a good job taking photos for y'all. So congratulations. Thank you.

But anyway, we were not, let's be um but anyway we were not let's let's let's be clear here we were not bailing because i will be honest multiple people thought that what strangers people without the information people that didn't know or maybe not friends some friends some were texting me wait a minute were you at the wedding and i go no no no it's a whole thing so we were there was some i had to do some um we were trying to make it not a whole thing well it's okay it's all right i i squashed the misinformation yes thank you and we'll have an update on that stuff some people wondered if it happened in florida that is very fun because you guys are in florida so wait a

minute and then some people some some friends of ours texted me, and they were interested in the timeline of everything. Yeah, at the top of the Helios Grand. And you're where? Yeah. You know what would be the thing to do now is to get married, like bride and groom are in different cars on Sky, what is it called? What's the racer ride?

Stardust Racers. Stardust Racers. Yeah, that was starting to go Skyfall Racers. That's not correct. Not a James Bond ride. But you do it as a duel on Stardust Racers and you exchange vows at the part where the coaster cars get the closest.

Because you could put the ring on each other. I do, I do. I try to toss it up. Oh. Nailed it. Oh, yeah it oh yeah they cross yeah that crossover part um i was going to say we yeah we got married we timed it we were the grand opening festivities of the terra luna hotel opening oh yeah uh which i believe terra luna you cannot walk to Epic Universe. We know. But Stellanova, you can, and you cannot walk between Terra Nova and Stellaluna. Did we go to Stellanova?

I think we did. It was the one with the tiles. Which one is that? They both have tiles. Oh, all of them. They both have tiles. Okay. Well, we popped in.

We popped in to see if there's a fun bar or something. It's kind of a functional scene. I think that somebody said the walking path wasn't open so perhaps it is stelanova but the walking from epic universe is not available yet okay okay gotcha um yes i also heard that helios grand the fancy hotel that is essentially in the park is uh that the parking there if you're just visiting the hotel the parking is 135 dollars because they're trying to they're trying to chase people out of the they're trying to like make sure you don't use that as cheap

parking right the if you stay overnight it's a more reasonable amount of parking but that is a real like yeah they should have just gone full till with it if it was going to be just to scare people away parking fee it should have just been like $7,000. Have fun. Yeah. You're setting the rules. Have fun with it. Right. And I thought 45 at the Beverly Hilton was a lot.

I was wondering how long it would take you to start complaining about the parking at your wedding hotel. Because you did before the wedding. The historic ones, they hit you with a lot of fees. I knew parking was good they hit you with those at the non-historic ones too well the non-historic ones you can park on the street you know well depending depending yeah welcome to our wedding dream

suite what if we park on the street just take it in we'll save it i was gonna say we'll save it we're gonna talk about this we have to save to save it because here we are dancing around and around and not saying the big thing that needs to be said. And the thing that needs to be said is Mike and I have been to Epic Universe. We have been to Universal's third. That's right. I said it. Third gate. As far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, we've been to this park it's it feels crazy to say that it felt especially right after and given the whirlwind nature and then jet lag like truly the day or two after i was like did we it feels so weird and we've been talking about it for so long and anticipating it on the show forever yeah now now we can say that we went it's it's wild it is and when you're saying about it being surreal really really, like, you know, when you go to some place when it's in previews, I suppose they would call that, as if it's a Broadway show, it's in previews. Yes.

Obviously, stuff is, they're ironing things out. So sometimes stuff, you know, you don't get on the ride you were trying to get on. So now when I think about it in this surreal way, it does feel like sometimes you have that, like, frustrating dream where there's, like, one thing you're trying to do in your dream you can't quite do it you're right there and it does i would but i would ah god you're right so there are things there's great stuff there's of course because we're frustrating things i specifically i'll even just say right now like i got to walk through the queue of the monsters ride twice but i didn't get to go on it so this is what specifically what i'm referring to where you're like did that happen did we actually go to orlando for a short amount of

time and then oh it feels in my mind like i had a dream where i just couldn't get to the thing just behind a door yeah as opposed to like my baby's back there and i can't help him it's instead it's victoria frankenstein is back there and i can't see her it's instead it's Victoria Frankenstein is back there and I can't see her I came all the way across the country yeah that's a good caveat to say at the top is that like you know we by no means could consider this a fully exhaustive no of course you of the of the park because there were there were big big old things that we did not get to do and yeah we we were lucky enough to get this opportunity to do it in kind of a preview period um in which you very much get the the caveat of uh you know not everything's going to be open it's uh you know

they were they were very strict about no photography because there were things that weren't finished there were odds and ends where you like yeah i know that's going to be glistening when it opens in may what is the day may 22nd uh that's pretty that's pretty damn early uh and uh but uh you know yeah we're like oh my god this this like wall isn't quite there the window is not quite there and it was very fun to get to see a park in that state yeah i was gonna say that's kind of one of the dreams for theme park enthusiasts it's like an in progress you know walking through a live testing live construction site oh yeah absolutely i mean i like i was when i shared with my mom that i was doing this she went straight to oh you remember when you were a kid and we went we got to see

we were just in universal studios and we got we just went near the building of T2 3D, and then suddenly people were going in. And it wasn't scheduled to open for a month or two, and we got a preview of it before it. I don't think then I knew that was even possible. I don't think I knew that was a thing that they did. And that really, I was so lit up about it, and my mom's thought about it forever. So she was like, oh my God, getting to do it for an entire park.

That's really crazy. I think the stats also, I was thinking about the headiness of getting to do this, of, you know, like been theme park fans forever, doing the show for nearly eight years. This is the first time, certainly that we've gotten to go to a park pre-opening. It is the first time we've gotten to go to a brand new park in Orlando since we were teenagers. And I feel like if you told us back then that we would have this opportunity now, like how blown would our minds be? And then if you added the fact that, OK, you are going to get to do that. And also you will be doing it with a light jelly rolls hangover.

You at 40 will have hit it a tad hard at the dueling piano bar. I think, well, then you just go, wow, you're sure that's 40 and not 17? Seems like we really got it going on, don't we? I was going to say, you'd be like, is my life perfect? Did we win the lottery? Are you a millionaire? How, what? My goodness. Yep, yep. the lottery? Are you a millionaire? How? What? My goodness.

Yep, yep. Hey, pretty good. Living it up. Jelly Rolls? Why at 1415 I'm not even allowed to go in there. That's true. You only can imagine what it's like. Let alone getting hung over. What's that sensation? Well, again, we'll get to this stuff

later, but I spent two nights in a row at Jelly Rolls while I was in Orlando. And I spent half an hour. Two separate nights in a short, short trip. It really does illustrate. Yeah, we'll save it for other. By the way, Jelly Rolls is the dueling piano bar on the boardwalk right by Epcot. Soon to close. Soon to close.

Which must have been part of you fitting it in. Absolutely. Yeah, it is very like, you know, we get a pretty tight amount of time in Orlando. How do we play it? I did a bunch of wandering of mostly empty hotel spaces. You did two jelly rolls. Two jelly rolls with two separate groups of people wow so it wasn't even it well i didn't even intend to do it too just that's how the nights lined up

that's what the different parties the first night thinking that that's that's what it would be right um yeah yeah uh no it worked out everybody that's the thing it's like as as in a family vacation everybody gets what they want. Everybody gets their own flavor. Right. I'm very happy with mine. You were very happy with yours. I was thrilled.

I had a ball. Well, let me ask you guys a question. How much time did you allocate for Islands of Adventure? Listen, I got bad news. I got bad news. I have bad news as well. It doesn't always work out. Yeah.

What? Can you even fathom Going to Orlando and not stepping foot In Islands of Adventure He's dying Save him I went in And I went on all the rides I went in and I honored each and every

Very special location at Port Adventure And thought about it's history and mythology I smoked a pack of cigarettes at Islands of Adventure. Don't worry. I smoked the longest cigarettes I could possibly find. Yeah. No, I did not make it to Islands this time. I ashed right on top of a cinnamon roll.

I did go. I did hang out at City Walk, though. You did City Walk but not. I don't think I knew that. Wait, what what i spent a little time at city walk yeah my god i didn't wander the hotels as well there was the awkwardness of like not every day getting to be a park stick because two of them were traveled yeah i mean i did it as fast as humanly possible tried to be be there for as many bedtimes uh yeah my travel got

delayed heavily the last day so then i ended up spending longer around the hotels and city walk than i expected and i guess i should have in hindsight just you know bought a ticket to islands and gone i in hindsight i think i would have done that if i knew it was going to keep getting the size sizable delay yeah delay um but let's let's not delay too much further the talk of the park uh yeah i mean this is great it's like it is almost overwhelming the amount to talk about again i would say uh let's take the pressure off ourselves ah let's take a deep breath and uh audience please take the pressure off of us to like fully cover this play because yeah there's we'll be talking about it a ton jason you'll get the chance to to go down and uh you

know we'll be piecing off Epic Universe then. But just think of this, I guess, as just kind of a, like, I don't know. Overview. A preview. A preview. As we got a preview, this is a preview of our full thoughts about the place. Yeah. Why did you guys bring in this 12-foot sign that says the roast of Epic Universe then?

If you're hedging your bets. All right. Let's crack those knuckles. Let's get into it. We've got a lot of- It's funny. Maybe it should be recalled mid-universe. Please welcome Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah, we spent a million dollars

to get Tony Hinchcliffe here to roast. I assume that's how much he caused because he's so famous. He has Trump's ear and he's trying to get Celestians deported. Right. No more Safe Harbor for celestians i'm excited to learn about celestians i didn't know there was a whole crew yeah that's okay so first of all i'll say this like i'm gonna i don't want to like spoil everything or anything but i guess if you really want to go in cold don't

listen to this if you truly don't want to know anything i don't have a lot to say i don't listen to this if you truly don't want to know anything i i don't have a lot to say i don't think that's not that's not already kind of announced yeah but a lot of my thoughts are gonna be like this thing that maybe we've even talked about on the show i liked this this thing i wasn't sure like uh yeah i i don't i don't intend to like ruin experiences for anybody but if even this is too even if any dipping into it is too much, check out one of the many great other episodes of the show, especially at patreon.com slash

bug guys the ride. Yes. So, yeah. So Celest, I will say this. There wasn't as many Celestians walking around as I hoped.

But I don't know that. Again, this is where when you're in previews, you know, they're adjusting things to live performances. So I think we'll be able to learn, hopefully,

fingers crossed about Celestians more when we all go for our upcoming live performances. So I think we'll be able to learn, hopefully, fingers crossed about Celestians more when we all go for our upcoming live shows in June. Which we, by the way, we have not mentioned here on the main feed. That's true, yes. One of the perks of the Patreon is that we give you an extra early heads up about if we're doing a live show or anything.

So we made the Patreon folks aware of of it of the two shows that we're doing at tin roof which is in early june i don't have the date but we'll put the link in the show notes there is still standing room how about that we're at the standing room point but if you're going to be in orlando if you want to come to orlando uh there is still standing room available which is not crazy it's a comfortable and fun place. It's back by the bar. Yeah, yeah, and not that far. You could also probably, it's not that long of a little trek to see the empty, I would assume empty still by then in June,

Taffer's Tavern. Sunday, June 8th, and we're doing two shows. So yes, grab some standing tickets if you want. How far is Taffer's Tavern from the world's largest mcdonald's oh i get turned around around there it's by car maybe i'm i'm probably gonna get it wrong but like 10 minutes by car eight minutes by car but it's on the same strip as yeah in the orlando eye yes it's all on beautiful i drive which we there's so much iDrive we gotta get into. I mean, that's a real show extender by the time you... Oh, yeah.

But anyways, where exactly to begin here? I mean, like, a part of me just wants to, like, step through the day a little bit, but also we don't have to do that. We could just, like, start calling out highlights. Is there anything that

you have been, like, aching to get off your chest uh uh right at the get-go i mean here's what i you know just because i brought it up and and it is at the forefront of my mind is yes the monster's ride was down so there's you know this monster's unchained the frankenstein experiment that was running in previews is what i saw online and then it was not really right maybe it ran a couple times that day and then it then it broke down and that was obviously the thing the big thing that i was hoping to get on but i will say this and i don't this is a very fun thing i got to do is that they were opening the queue to people since the ride wasn't working. So you could go in the queue. And I got to go in the queue when a thunderstorm happened. And I got to hang out outside the Frankenstein Castle,

sipping a drink, going into the queue, and then lingering and taking my time with the entirety of the Frankenstein queue. Not many people in there. Wow. Which is really, like, that's not going to happen anytime in the next so many years where that queue isn't going to be packed with people yes well and what with my skippable queue feelings and all right it is like it really throws things for a loop to think like but would you not at a leisurely pace right less people wander around this queue because

it's like a extremely cool walkthrough experience and that for sure i didn't know i didn't get to do the queue you're the only keeper of the secrets of the the monster right so i yes so i don't know we'll see so so yes you you were off doing something else just because we got our schedules got a little long we were not doing everything together on the day and i ended up just in you know the monster's land alone i went to the burning blade tavern i saw the fire you did go to the burning blade tavern yes i was recalling what every like what is where and i forgot that i watched the the preview video and i recalled that it's yeah there's the windmill that lights on fire and that there is a bar in there, which is different than the steakhouse,

and there's a bar in the steakhouse spelled S-T-A-K-E, that kind of steak. So I didn't realize, ooh, how's Burning Blade to happen? So Burning Blade, I'll say this, the outside of it is unbelievable. The windmill bursting into flames is amazing. That is as cool as anybody expects. Inside is pretty simple. It's cool. It's like dark.

It has limited seating, and you can order something, I think, on the side, just like a to-go window, basically. So inside, it's not the most themed thing in the world, but it's cool to go in there, grab something, and come out. And just because I was talking about it, it's like I'm hanging out. I'm like wishing this ride opens. And then I realized the queue was open. And then a rainstorm starts. It had been fine weather-wise all day and all the whole trip. And then it starts coming down just in large amounts.

People are soaked. And I'm kind of just wandering around a little bit buzzed. And then the Frankenstein castle has a spoiler alert has a little bit of a show that it does when like the electricity turns on in like the whatever the top of it the i don't know that attic but there's like kind of like coils at the top of it spire tesla coil sure something like that whatever and then that's happening during the light lightning storm basically that's awesome and the light lightning storm, basically. That's awesome.

And I'm just sipping and I'm like, this is, this rules. And then I go inside like, ah, and like, I'm like holding my coat and I'm soaked and like, hello,

fellow traveler. Welcome out of the, come in out of the rain to the Frankenstein castle. And I'm like, okay. And then there's nobody in there. There's a few people, but I'm in rooms alone now. Being in Frankenstein manor with a thunderstorm going on,

that is something I never considered. I didn't consider it either. I didn't consider it either, but I was like, because I was looking like, well, this is the next best thing to going on the ride early is getting to sort of hang out here. So, I mean, I can say, like, it's awesome. There's a big staircase i mean there's i okay i'll say this there's i saw the two pre-shows or two separate pre-shows well maybe

we're sort of in spoiler territory maybe yeah we're gonna maybe you know skip ahead so i guess skip ahead i don't know i'm conflicted 35 minutes skip ahead Skip ahead a minute, I guess. Okay. There's sort of more of a video pre-show with Igor, who we ran into in the land as a human character, who's awesome. And then there's a pre-show with two robots. Wow. Robots in queue. Victoria and, spoiler alert, Frankenstein.

Wow. And it rules. And I will say it got me so psyched. I was like, oh, no. He's a big boy. Oh, he's huge. He's huge. He's great.

So, I mean, there's other little surprises and stuff, but that was really fun. And I left, I got out of there, and I went right back into the line again to do it again. Neat. Cool. And then, you know what's funny,, and I went right back into the line again to do it again. Neat. Cool. And then, you know what's funny, is that I'm going through it again, even more of a leisurely pace. Obviously, I'm hoping something, a miracle happens and the ride opens or whatever. But then they stop us right before the pre-shows, and we're waiting there for five, ten minutes.

The park's going to close very soon. And they say, no, something's wrong. You can't see these two pre-shows so we get a pass a front of the line pass for epic universe for every ride like it could be for any ride other than ministry i think donkey kong and then something else and i have it with me still wow i'm gonna try to use it when we go back does it. Does it work on other days? Yes. Have you checked the fine print? It does. Wow. Yes, it does. And I was told even though that it might technically expire

a day or two before we go, they will honor it. I've been told that. Really? Wow. So I now have a fast pass for Epic Universe. Jeez.

Which may be key because I'd rather keep talking about exciting stuff than get into the weeds here but certainly i think our experience made us a little afraid of like oh boy how are these crowds gonna be how are these lines gonna be i think that is a that that is a powerful weapon that you uh that you wield yeah being able to skip a line at this place because for everything that's cool about it i am certainly nervous about what are these queues going to be.

It's like the Frankenstein family's secret to life itself. It is very similar, yes. I did read something. I think it was in Attractions Magazine. One maybe theme park insider, someone was talking about, it seems like universal is limiting day ticket sales okay so to allow like i don't know what the numbers are but like 20 000 people in the park at a time as opposed to 40 000 people waiting in three-hour lines

complaining yes that's what I've heard. of course the you know the bad first day of disneyland looms large like you don't want to and and by virtue of that it is you know the year 2025 and that uh how much has been learned and that they do this long preview period i think that prevents things from ever like truly being in a disaster state but we know like you're we're dealing when you're dealing with ride technology that's unprecedented and when you've got things that seem to be sort of in the rise the resistance neck of the woods in terms of technology or even you know or tiana's keeps shutting down for all it like it's definitely going to be a thing that stuff is not fully up and running and that there's frustration and not everybody's going to be able to like dial it in the way like the way we were able to like measure our expectations once the doors are open to the public i don't know if that's going to be fully possible.

So they got to be careful. And I think capping capacity is a smart way to do it. And more recently even, every time a Potter thing opened, it was multi-hour wait, like four to eight hour waits. Oh, eight? Yeah, I heard eight. That might have been when the land first opened. Well, I think that's definitely on the table for the Potter stuff, because Ministry of Magic is the other one that we did not get. I don't think anybody, like there was maybe, at the time we had heard about a brief window of people getting it, but I think that may have even been like a VIP. That was a team member only.

So we weren't expecting that or certainly guaranteed that. But I think that's going to be close to the bone enough that, yeah, I could see that being completely in the territory of that long of a wait. Yeah, I waited three or four hours opening summer for Gringotts. Jeez. We waited four hours plus for Guardians Mission Breakout. Wow. Yeah, with very ad hoc switchbacks. Yeah.

Jeez. That is a lot of time to commit, especially in like, the Florida park hours are not crazy. I feel like I'm used to, you know, that a lot of the time, Disneyland is open from 8 to 12.

I know. From 8 a.m. to midnight. And then you go to Florida and some of these are like 10 to 6. What do you mean? I know, it sucks. That might be only enough for one line. And that wasn't the case. I know, the old days.

In the 90s, they used to be open really late. Extra magic hours would go to like 2 or 3 in the morning. I know, it sucks. And I was in Epcot at like 2 in the morning in 2021, but it was only because we were staying in Beach and Yacht Club. And there were specific extra magic hours if you were staying at Deluxe. Like there were so many asterisks. Okay.

You've created a cool indoor retreat. the quiet and energy efficient comfort you can depend on with a range of innovative cooling solutions like the carrier infinity heat pump that delivers premium home heating and cooling performance learn more at ultimate heating and cooling.com you make it a home let ultimate heating and cooling make it more comfortable rebates incentives and financing are available for a limited time ultimate heating and cooling and carrier. Turn to the experts. The Potter Ride did not. That was another where we got Q but not Ride. Yeah. That Q, holy shit.

I mean, it was built up to be holy shit. And then sure enough, it is holy shit. They have released images of this. So this isn't particularly a spoiler. But I like this might be. But I hadn't seen the concept art for like it's the Ministry of Magic itself. Yeah. And I also have not seen those movies as many people possibly have not. Um, so I didn't, I was told about a moment that feels akin to, uh, the rise of the resistance doors opening and you're, uh, and you see all the storm troopers and everything and

the scope of that room. Uh, I was told like something like that is coming and sure enough, the one corner that you round is such a jaw dropper. I don't think you've ever seen just such a gigantic room in a queue. Yeah. Just the volume of space and the height of it. I ended up looking at concept art later and thinking, this might be a case where the reality is better than the concept art.

Yeah. And when does that happen? When does that ever happen? Right. There's been a lot of concept art letdowns in theme park world in the last decade and this is like i just yeah i i don't want to like i will just like prattle on and on if i try to describe what the space is uh but as somebody said uh before we got to do it the tile budget alone yes what does it take to keep those tiles polished? It is like, if you're a fan of tiles,

if you want to see tiles sky high, but inside a giant room, get ready. It's four stories, basically. Yes, that's the scope of everything in this Ministry of Magic world. Somebody said the fact that the, what is it, the tallest building in Diagon Alley would be the smallest one here.

Right. Completely insane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so beyond that, I don't have a lot to say. Also, there is a room that I think would have handily made it extremely far in the fake office Final Four. Oh, yeah. I realize we have ignored a lot of Potter in that area in general.

Maybe some of that is virtue of us paying less attention. Current 2025 reality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, paying a little less Potter attention because fuck that lady. This land is funny due to current unrelated hate monger events, but current studio events of like, ah, it's like France from the Fantastic Beasts movies. And Warner Brothers has gone like, we are no longer making the Fantastic Beasts movies.

Yes, the most cursed group of actors and people involved in general. I think there was definitely a world where this was all called like Fantastic Beasts Land. Ah, yes. So it's still like the remains of some of it. And they shied away from like, let's make that the centerpiece. I mean, what I was thinking just from walking in, I mean, this is the, you know, there's probably a little bit of backup that we should do and maybe reminding people that the premise of this park is portals. There's four major, there's a portal you walk into, the Kronos, to enter the park at all. From there, you enter this connective realm called Celestial Park, and it's your choice of which portal of the main four that you head into,

which are very effective and cool, much like the pipe in all the Mario lands that kind of limit your view and then open it up wide again. And I don't think there's a better iteration of that than Ministry of Magic, than entering their depiction of France, which you almost could just take the Potter out of it. And like the fantastic beasts and all doesn't really matter. It is just magic Europe. If that was the name of it, I'd rather it just be called that. Now you're going to magic Europe.

And it's, it's kind of cheat. It's splitting the difference. Like, uh, it's magic France, 20th century. And,

uh, you get transported to the British magic ministry. Don't worry about it. You're here for a ride. Sure. No, no, no.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I didn't find myself confused terribly despite not knowing any of the mythology that is also, it's a holy shit in that queue, but it's also a holy shit seeing the scope of those buildings and how I was telling you, Michael, the scope of those buildings and how i was telling you michael over there how a number of theme parks

have gone for uh the vibe of europe even gone for the vibe of france and we'd been in world showcase just the day before like it is not unfamiliar to do a parisian vibe in a theme park this is unreal though in no previous depiction of france has made me like bug out of my skin and think i'm actually there right it's so why it's just like yeah what like light years beyond any depiction of like a out of a country or vibe. Yeah, it's just insane. And the level of detail, the signage. To be in a place that is so new, it's not even open to the public, and yet it feels a thousand years old.

You just really appreciate the art design and the craft to it. It's a true magic trick. Yeah, no, it is so good. I think on some level I took it for granted because of how, I mean, I haven't been to France, but how well it is recreating a very lived in over hundreds of years place. It's almost you take it, you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just here. It doesn't, you don't even think about it in the way that when you're seeing the How to Train Your Dragon Land or Monsters,

which are obviously a little more unusual for you to come across. It doesn't. You don't even think about it in the way that when you're seeing the How to Train Your Dragonland or Monsters, which are obviously a little more unusual for you to come across. Yeah, they're not trying to depict a type of place that exists. You have nowhere to set your expectations. But again, to go back to the dreaminess that you were feeling, it was just a bug out. I felt just weird jitters in my brain how much it was transporting me across the world. Yeah. So realistically. I think that an interesting thing about theme park location design is like,

yeah, film sets communicate the place the film's taking place, but then editing like layers and layers of filters and camera cuts and all that stuff, you have that at your disposal with filmmaking but theme parks need to make the place look like the final product yeah sure from the get-go for one unbroken shot as it were and it's just yeah it's it's it's jaw-dropping i i don't with us without having been on the ride i'm in no place to say if this is the best of wizarding world but i i do know that that initial reveal is like i just one of the like most impressive sites in any universe yeah or any any park i'd say i'll say this too uh going back to the ride this isn't i only i guess i don't have to say

specifically how but you know they've they did the king's cross station thing where like you see the person go through the wall on the hogwarts express what the way they do sort of a like a magical transport in the line for the queue for ministry magic is the best it so cool. I went backwards and did it again. Oh, you did? Of course, yes, you should. Because the way that the Kings Cross Station one is like, you see somebody go through the wall,

so it's almost like the illusion isn't happening to actually the person. You're just seeing someone in front of you. So you go, oh, that's cool. It looks like they went through the wall. The way they do it now in this ride, it happens to you. Yes. You get to experience it. And it's a very –

I went back and I'm like, I just got to do this with arms wide open. I got to like, no, you didn't take it in. You didn't really do it enough. It's simple too. It's not like I don't know how they did it. It's just I was very impressed with it. It's a cool thing to happen to you. Just a cool thing that happens to you as you go right before the big

reveal yeah um i almost want to and we don't have to fully veer away from from potter certainly but i'm almost like wanting to go elsewhere just by for the sake of because we know it better because we got to do other stuff yeah um if you don't mind hopping over to nintendo oh sure which was uh was that the first like actual uh portal we went through i i want to say yeah well i mean i did i did stardust racers first but that's not a we can talk stardust racers i don't care by the way either way uh um well let's hear yeah i mean why not talk about nintendo a little bit because that's we you know nintendo we know we have it here we've had mixed feelings about some of the offerings but we of course made a beeline through the portal which

what's best portal what's best portal you mean like it itself regardless of what you see when you're at the end of it because we ranked what we thought they were going to be in an episode. I want to say that was on a second gate. Now that you've been, favorite portal. You mean the literal walking through the portal itself? Yes. I mean, I think it's probably- The design on the outside, but what happens on the inside, because some of them are longer

than others. I think all have screen components that kind of make it more magical. I think it's Nintendo. Yeah. I thought so too. I thought it was a little leading that I asked you that question at this moment. I mean, I knew what you were going for. But I, because I, the others are great.

I like all the portals very much. Yeah. But the escalator, the fact that you got an escalator. Spoiler alert, there's an escalator that takes you into Nintendo. Well, I like that. It's really neat. I love an escalator. And it kind of makes you feel, it feels a little Vegas-y.

It feels like you're going into a Mario casino. That's a good point, yeah. Yes, yeah. Is it an escalator or a speed ramp? Escalator. It is steps, okay. Yes, yeah. Yeah, so it definitely builds up that reveal of the Mushroom Kingdom.

You get more music then, too, to really build up the reveal. Yes, true. You get a little hyped up. And then, you know, obviously cool to see the fully fleshed out version of Nintendo World that is not really what we have here.

It has like the extra dimensions and room for Yoshi. But we go pretty quickly straight back to Donkey Kong and to Minecart Madness. Where to begin with Minecart Madness? There was a little bit of question, I'd say. I think I brought up the possibility that maybe this thing was going to be a little lacking, a little underwhelming. I was concerned from ride-through videos that I watched.

Yes. We were hanging a lot on this ride. Yes. I think I was concerned from ride-through videos that I watched. Yes. We were hanging a lot on this ride. Yes. Yeah, I was. One of the first things we wanted to do, and it might have set the tempo, if we really liked it, if we didn't really like it. Feelings? It's really fun. It's really good.

It's a really fun ride. I really like it. I can see there's a little parts where you really get jerked around. But I don't know. It's fun. It didn't bother me. That's what you're after, though. You're wanting to get fucked up.

I want to be handled in a certain way. That's true. And I want to get fucked up. Handled. This is a new way. This is a new sensation of being handled. So I haven't gotten used to being handled that way yet and maybe i will completely grow to like it now i will say spoiler alert a lot of these

rides at universal crush my genitals yeah many of them including donkey kong got pretty close to crushing my genitals i'm a tall guy the way I sit on these weird seats to point up, and then I try to get away only putting it down a little bit. And they come by. Nine times out of ten, an employee comes by, jams it right down on my penis. Nine times out of ten, that's what happens. And I believe on Donkey Kong,

I made it through not pushing it down. But then on one of the jumps, the thing ratcheted down anyway. So I got crushed anyway on Donkey Kong. Wow. I was going to bring this up later. I was going to address this in the Curse of the Werewolf zone, which is a spinning coaster in the Monsters area, because we were seated next to each other there, and it was at that point that you confided in me that you seem to believe there was some kind of conspiracy at Universal Studios specifically to get

your crotch as crushed as possible. It certainly seems like it. You said Diddy Kong looked at you and said, even you cannot escape original sin, Michael. I'm being punished. You're being punished. I'm being punished punished i don't know what the what did the deal with that is but something's going on yeah what is it well is

it somehow related to the like more serious size issue that is complained about a lot to some degree it is yeah yeah that curse of the werewolf on my legs i had to cross my legs the employees were like you have to cross your legs for it to be kind of comfortable my god so like they're all they're yes there's talking about size wise as far as just i don't know what girth but there's height as well seems to be is that the word i should say that's appropriate i don't think so i'm gonna see where this goes i'm just saying the roller coaster crushed my girth. No, I didn't mean that.

No, no, no. I was saying that for people of size, there's issues getting on the ride. Larger folk. Yes, I'm not talking about. He was not taking an opportunity. He was just talking about his little soda can. Oh, God. His full chub. Now I have to leave this in, though.

No, I was just speaking to. That's obviously the number one complaint that people have, is that they make these rides for smaller frames or whatever. But also, it seems like their ideal person that gets in a ride is 5'9", 135 pounds. Yes. It's weird. I don't know why.

They want a roller coaster car full of chalamets right i want a bunch of slight little guys yeah that's not how the world is i can clear half of one of those okay well you're halfway there one of those so yeah so it is something about it i mean i noticed it first going on the mummy out here 20 years ago or something where i was just like this is an odd angle and if i don't if i'm not perfectly in before i have like there's a pressure that gets on you when you're trying to get out your stuff put it away clamp it down especially if you haven't been on the ride yet so like i have i need like a two minute prep time settle in to settle in and make sure i'm sitting

at the correct angle not to have one of these restraints come and crush me. You would say you need a little foreplay and a little aftercare to recover from those restraints. Be careful how you handle my girth. Is aftercare a real term? Yeah. It is. Yeah. I was hoping you would say yes, because I don't know what that-

It's like cuddling and Oh, okay. Patting and being affectionate. Now this is now I don't... Despite this being questioned in the past, I have been having sex for a long time and Yeah, it's pretty fun. I've never... What I found is it's a great way to connect

with my partner. Yeah. And yet the word aftercare is brand new to me. I've never heard aftercare before. Mm-hmm. Is this something the kids say? I, I, how long have you been saying it?

I, I haven't been saying, I learned about it, I feel like a while ago. That's a while, five years? Yeah, five years,

maybe four, five years of aftercare. I mean, it's just, I'm familiar with the concept. It's just politeness and, I'm familiar with the concept that you're not supposed to make love and then go, see you later.

I know that. Yeah. I'm not totally out of it. I know the coddling is good. I know that, but aftercare is new to me. Okay. Well, you learn something new every day. Yeah.

Not AppleCare. That's different. That is different. Oh, boy. They got me in the hook for that. I don't care for that. I never go in on the aftercare. Just too expensive. I'm just

a cheap skit. $7 a month for this goddamn watch. So I guess what I'm getting at with Donkey Kong is like, I was not sitting in a great position on Donkey Kong. So some of the jerking around. Well, from what you've described,

we ended up on the same flight and it sounds like a plane ride is this for you. Oh, God. Let alone, and you're not getting your girth crunched on that. Not unless you buckle your own seatbelt in a very bizarre fashion. No. Plane ride in basic economy is hell for me, knees-wise. And then even sometimes if you pay like a hundred dollars to sit in the

slightly better seats that's you got you're talking like four inches better that just turns you into me and now it becomes like these still not right it doesn't become first class it just becomes like right you are bumping the seat in front of you instead of squeezing the high angle, your lanky legs. So I need to really, I need to prep better next time when we're in Epic. I need to prep for all sorts of different ways that my dick will be crushed. I think, so that's, if you are a fan of dick crushing,

then this is the part for you. That is a fetish. I've heard of this. Jason, you've heard of this, right? Is there a name for it? I don't know. Because in my mind, it's like a Wall Street guy. He's really stressed out and he's into some dark stuff.

So he pays a lady with a high-heeled shoe to step on his penis. It's like the cold open of the first, the pilot of billions. Oh, is that right? Okay. Paul Giamatti is like a dominatrix is beating him up and peeing on him. And I believe that actor is eventually the woman he would go on to marry. Whoa. Well, that's nice.

That's a nice love story. Wow. So, yeah. How did you meet? Any roller coaster just turns you into, I'm trying to find the name really quick. Chuck. If you are. Chuck Rhodes.

God, like you get off these rides saying, God, what am I? US attorney Chuck Rhodes Jr. If you are a day trader and you're spending 10 grand, 20, $20,000 on a mistress, no, no, no. Go down to Orlando. Go to Universal Studios. And you can get $150. You get your dick crushed all day. Is there some club I got to know about? Oh, there is.

It's called Universal's Epic Universe. For just a slight cover charge, you can totally fulfill all your crushing that express pass what's 200 dollars to a day yeah of course yeah then you can speed through all the girth um um but but uh poor mike doggy krong was really fun i mean i don't want to put down despite the dick crushings the children's roller coaster is a lot of fun. No, it was great. I can't speak to how, I think I'd add the concern, like how effective is that jumping feeling actually going to be? And I might say, not terribly. It's not like the illusion was ever like, wow, I'm jumping track.

But maybe that's not what it's about. It was a lot of fun either way. And things that seemed like okay in a video were a lot more exciting in person a lot more getting to see i do despite having me not played these games for a long time i consider them my friends donkey and diddy and dixie i was really excited to see dicks wow dixie dixie kong and then uh and then donkey kong animatronic at the end is massive. Rules. He's a big boy. He's great. It is.

And even in the land you go in, and it's playing the Donkey Kong Country theme. Yeah. Exciting. Very exciting. And it's exciting to hear Mario and stuff, and some especially like the Mario 64 castle music, which they play when you kind of go up the escalator. And that's nice, and there's great mario music but for some reason in a park setting the donkey kong country theme hits it really does all of that yeah it is it's so fun just being an environment that's that big

piles of bananas are just so aesthetically pleasing i just wanted to go i know that they would just be uh rock hard and i wouldn't just like tumble into them and get to like roll around in them but i did want to just like just like pounce backwards into the banana piles right they look so nice seeing those letters throughout the land k-o-n-g like in the game and then also i realized that it's it must especially appeal to you and me too because i do like despite having complained about the food i do like the vibe of margaritaville very much and you kind of do get it is kind of like cartoon margaritaville yes like because you do have sea planes and you do have island rhythms. And it is a new...

It shows you how they cannot just cram... They can't just cram a thing together and say that's the Nintendo theme park presence. There's so much to do there because Donkey Kong feels entirely different than Mushroom Kingdom. Yeah. And better, cooler, liked it.

Fountain, fountain, water gushing out of the mouth, the big head on the temple. Really cool to look at. Yeah, the temple itself looks awesome as well. The ride itself in the temple looks really cool. Yes. And in a lot of ways, that track jumping looks cooler if you're not on the ride. Yeah. Yes.

It almost plays better. It's like cool decor. Yeah. This is so appealing. I can't wait to have it in los angeles assuming that's where things are heading uh yeah really neat i now i am worried especially this one it is like if this becomes two hour wait i don't know how you feel about uh yeah it's like i feel like i have the ideal wait time in my head that aligns with what is a good Disneyland day for me.

You know what I mean? Where this one, ideal, I'd like to be through Indy in 35 or something. Sure. And if that's an hour, I'm like, yeah, shit. And I think this park for a long time is going to be like, excuse me? What does this wait? Yeah, maybe. time is going to be like excuse me what does this wait yeah maybe i it's it's a good question and point because like i think once you're past especially i mean the first couple months i

do think your average park goer will have they know that this is not going to be easy i think if it's opening week month opening year i don't't know, six months. We might be breaking this to them. Listener, if you've been planning to go, I would count, if it was the way it was in preview, and I don't know, maybe that's misrepresentative, but my guess would certainly be that these lines are going to be outrageous. That's going to be very popular.

I mean, Donkey Kong is going to be so popular. People are going to really want to do that. And rightfully so. And rightfully so. Yes. But it is interesting because I wonder, I you know this is something for like a lentesta to figure out what how crazy does the ride experience have to be to make you feel that the hour plus weight was worth it i don't have this equation in my head but like for instance

when we first went on spider-man when I was whatever whatever year, 1999 or whatever we waited it felt like four hours. Three or four hours to go on Spider-Man. Wow. And we got off it and we're like it's worth it. Like we did think that. So it will be interesting to see if like if monsters and ministry

are the ones where if people get stuck in there for two hours those things are so cool that ultimately people are like well, thing was awesome though. I think those are the only ones that people get stuck in there for two hours, those things are so cool that ultimately people are like, well, I think it was awesome, though. I think those are the only ones that are really going to happen. It's possible, yeah. Because Dunkin' is on the shorter side. It definitely is, yeah.

And I could see, I don't know, like, I was just on the lookout for, like, what are the things that are going to tip anything into, like, bad review territory. And I think that could certainly be one. Wait time wise, yeah. Another one that I think is a bellwether for like what morale is going to be like

going through this park is not far and a thing we didn't get to do because it's not in LA, Yoshi's Adventure. Oh yeah. I think that is one. I'd add my questions about this, too, in watching videos from Japan. I have thought, is it, like, I don't know, like, it's a little dinky, right? And if, like, what if you waited 45 minutes for this?

I think you'd end up mad. I think that you could see some lines that long for Yoshi's Adventure. Yes. Which I'd be worried about. Now, we got to do it, I think we did it twice, and when at the most it was like 20 minutes. I would like to go on record

saying I'm a big fan of Yoshi's Adventure. I don't know if I'd be with a longer wait, but as it is, it feels very Disney in its Fantasyland type. It doesn't promise much, but it really delivers on the not much that it promises. I think it's a key. I think it is the biggest error by far in,

uh, Nintendo in Hollywood that they left this thing out. It is like the thing, much like what everybody talks about the, what the Bantha thing and res the resistance for sure. Yoshi is the little fun character, the cute ride that becomes weirdly the most important part and the most fun part. It makes me so mad that I can't take my kids on this thing. Yeah. Because I could take my little one.

I could take my seven-month-old on this thing. That is truly a ride for everybody. It's so cute, so fun, so successful at hitting the kind of low bar that it sets for itself. I really like this ride. I don't know if I'm just like dad cute aglow over this Yoshi ride, but I wanted to take my boys very much. That is, yes. I wish that, yes, I could take my daughter on this. Because there is a really good, big room, biggish room of robots. It's a good, the one show scene is a good, yeah. I mean, it also makes me, not upset, but a little bit disappointed that you could have just like tripled the size of this ride. It's not that

big and had a really great. It was like people mover length. Well that would be even better. It's just a 10 minute like jump for the entire. That would be unbelievable. But like I don't, it seems short sighted to me that you wouldn't put a actual kids ride

in Nintendo Land like this. And we've said before like i say i think some people with mario kart like mario kart but really we would be fine with a mr toad mario kart we would be fine with a small dark ride mario kart as well it doesn't have to be much more fine i think with that yes absolutely but so like i it is. I'm like this is such a fun slow good kids ride but it gives you what you want a bunch of really big fun robots seeing and baby Yoshi. Is it would you call it baby Yoshi or would you call it like a little like that. It's like pre it's like Yoshi Mach 1.

Yeah. Well they eat stuff and then get big Super Mario World Yoshi when he hatches right out of the egg, but he's not big yet. The ones that have to get carried around and fed. You got to feed him three berries and then he grows up into regular Yoshi. Yeah. That too. You saw me with those berries. I like stopped.

You got very excited about the berries. I just like hugged them. Seeing the Yoshi berries physicalized. I'm not making that up. No, I saw it. I'm not making it up either. He hugged the berries. I saw like hugged him. Seeing the Yoshi berries. He did hug the berries. Physicalized? I'm not making that up. No, I saw it. I'm not making it up either. He hugged the berries. I saw it. I thought I did. Like I blacked out. What did I do last night? Did I hug a bunch of Yoshi berries? Mike sent a picture of you at

Jelly Rolls and you still had Yoshi berry all over your face. I'm never watching this face again. Yeah. Hey, sounds like some of this land already got hit with Donald Drumpf's tariffs. Huh? What?

What? Why? In what way? Well, I was trying to connect it to Nintendo delayed the pre-orders for the Switch 2. Oh, okay. Just this morning. I didn't know that. I just thought you were maybe like a berry. It's gonna have to be imported.

I thought you were doing like a berry delivery. Because's going to have to be imported. I thought you were doing a berry delivery. You said the land, so I was thinking berries. The berries are $1,000 a bushel. Yeah, I just got greedy. I don't know. You threw a drum in there, too. I didn't go. I'm just trying to contribute.

That's the most offensive thing ever said. I'm not mad at it. I just wanted to be clear. Yeah. I'll workshop it. I'll workshop it. Just get it clear. Get the clubs.

A workshop for the live shows. If you can edit it. Well, if you want to come up with it and then re-record the joke on your own, I'll insert it in the show. Dub it in. Yeah. Yes. Do it like ADR.

Okay. You got to drop it in exactly the same amount of time. And then Scott and I'll do our own live reactions at home and I'll edit it all okay put a cup pot of coffee on get me some long cigarettes right long cigarettes um so mind oh can I say something about you yeah yeah before we move on uh the um we've touched on this on the show briefly but if you haven't been on this ride and you probably haven't because it's only in Japan to the public until this place opens. It is, you know, a little like kind of Omnimover.

Everybody gets a different colors of Yoshi and you get to explore like rooftops that, you know, technically you could see from a lot of places in the Super Nintendo world, but you get a special vantage point and little fun scenes. And one Yoshi chomping the other who blew up a balloon and he's riding him around. And you get a talking toad. There's a lot of cute things you can only see from these vantage points. But there is a light, I don't know if you'd call it a story, I don't know if you'd call it a game, kind of a task that you have, which is finding all three eggs of different colors. I don't know if you'd call it a story, I don't know if you'd call it a game, like kind of a task that you have, which is finding all three eggs of different colors. I don't remember.

I want to say it's like spotted eggs and it's like red, green, and blue. The ride ended the first time. Mike and I both failed to find all of the eggs. We both just got a big old F on the children's spot the egg game. The children's word search kind of. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With big bold buttons.

Yes. Yeah. It looks like the worksheets that my son is bringing home from TK. And we got a two out of three. I mean, that should be nicer. That's a D. We didn't get an F. We got a D. Yeah. Well I mean, that should be nicer. That's a D. We didn't get an F. We got a D.

Yeah. Well, look, we were taking in everything. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Not so goal-oriented. No. Just trying to be there, be in the moment, take a deep breath.

But I felt very stupid that I missed one of only three A's, but less stupid because you were also the same amount of stupid. That's true. Yes, we were both, we were both, we must have both remarked about something we liked at the same time when that egg passed. It's just going to be a cadre of like millennial parents sobbing because they see Yoshi

and then a generation of iPad kids going, what do you mean you didn't get all the eggs? Because they've spotted. It's the easiest game ever made. I've been playing things more complex than this since I was four. You put me on Fruit Ninja when I was three months old.

You know what? I think about this all the time. My daughter, one of her favorite things is to watch me play video games now. I have been playing video games the most in the last decade ever since she's been born because she loves video games but can you imagine what she thinks a video game is versus what we thought a video game was at five years old oh no oh yeah and then when she when i play

like you know mario odyssey and he turns 2d she goes no no flat mario no she doesn't like old school yeah she does not like old school. She likes the bright 3D. Well, then she would hate the portal and the Kronos itself where it's like a coin that flips around and it has like kind of classic current Mario, but also 8-bit, which made me happy to see Flat Pixel Mario. It makes me happy. Your daughter would freak out. No, but not my toddler. She only likes

Mario in Three Dimensions. Well, you just had to sit her down and explain the context. I did! Maybe put on some YouTube documentaries. I have. I said, this is how Daddy played the game when he was your age. Not your age, but a little older than you. And then she said her first words, Shut up, Daddy.

Bored, daddy. Daddy sucks. She kind of says that. Yeah, back to your Donkey Kong concerns specifically. I did pull out the fast pass, and it does say it's not valid at Battle at the Ministry and Minecart Madness. So that must mean they also are concerned capacity capacity wise because they don't want to hand out a free skip the line pass yeah to to donkey kong so i'm sure they chose those two those are the only two that you're restricted oh so you can use for monsters these are for monsters or stardust

interesting that's weird well yeah maybe it's less that they're considering that the e-ticket and more of a capacity this is it's also like, as we said about Yoshi, now imagine Donkey Kong and it's double. And you really get cooking and you really get fast on that thing. That becomes one of the best rides ever made. 100% it does. Yeah. Yes. There's a few things at Epic that do feel like if you doubled this, it would be top ride in the world.

Yes. There's definitely a number of, oh, and we're done. That does happen a lot, unfortunately. Yeah. So, right. So, yeah. As far as the quality of the robots and the quality of the jumps or the scares or whatever,

there were a couple of places where I go, ah! I did go. It got me for real yeah on donkey and yes it is nintendo is so good and it feels like with just a couple different changes early on it would have been like unbelievable yeah overall yeah with everything well it's just been crazy watching all of this migrate from like you know okay what so these like ar helmets okay well it sounds like boy that could really be interesting sure we try it oh god not good weird crazy then like it's like the common talking point with like uh you know like other parents at school if theme parks come up or like uh uh or my mother in law that like well you know i just tell the kids just

take the helmet out it's like like gone from like it's something we the theme park nerds know to it is the common talking point yeah people who just just anybody who goes to the parks like the mario kart ride is fine if you don't have to wait and you don't wear the helmet there was like the point of doing it what happened how does it land there I think it's still well received by your average park goer in some ways. Yeah. Supposedly. I know what you mean.

And the fact that it'd be hard for them to say it's a failure because the lines are so crazy long. And it made it to the tidy two in the fake office

final four. That's a whole other thing. I mean, it has back and forth for it now, too. Yeah. You want to talk about spoiler warning. Yo, that's true. I'm sorry. If you hadn't listened to last Yeah. You want to talk about spoiler warnings. Yo, that's true.

I'm sorry. If you hadn't listened to last week. You have your draft kings. How much are you betting on this week's PTR? How much are you betting on the PTR fake offices? Can we go real quick? I forgot. I wanted to say, spoiler alert, say the name of the drink I got.

I don't remember what was in it, but in Burning Blade. Yes, please. I really like the name of the drink. Yes, what is it? The name of the drink I got. I don't remember what was in it, but in Burning Blade, I really liked the name of the drink. Yes, what is it? The name of the drink is My Only Weakness, which was really fun to order on My Only Weakness. That's really good. This may be a good time to pivot to some other food stuff,

because actually the first thing we did when we came in was get a bite with a group that we were with, and this gave you the opportunity. First all what was that restaurant is that called oak and oh yeah oak and something tavern yes yes oak and star oak and tavern yes where i did not eat but every piece of food i was looking at on the table looked pretty good yeah it was yours it was yeah it was a little like i ate a barbecue sandwich for lunch with brisket. Yeah, great.

But it was good. I mean, it was good, and they had the Coke Freestyle machines. And in there, something very special, and that's what I wanted to get your thoughts on. Oh, sure. This is in How to Train Your Dragon, Isle of Burke. No, this is. No, confusingly from that name. Now we are in Center of Park, Celestial Park. Well, here we are in center of park celestial park well which is maybe like

there's a lot of uh definitely it's like the food and beverage place it's where like sit down restaurants are um and we'll get into it since you said cook freestyle yeah um i i forgot until we were there that that's something very special is in there a very special beverage is in there would you like to explain uh yes is it i think it's called the celestial spritz jason have you seen this no what is this um it's a soda it is only in celestial park or only in the park in general is this an epic universe specific soda it is but it's not the only universal epic universe specific soda because i got one in Monsters as well. Wow.

So I didn't know that until later. But Celestial Spritz, to me, tasted like you had a peach soda and then somebody dumped a bunch of water in it. I wrote down, you described it as watered down Fanta. Yeah, sure, yeah. That's not a good review. It wasn't my favorite thing I've ever had in the world.

It was okay. I was excited to try it. All right, I'll try it. I'll try all the different sodas. Yes, but later in the Monster's Land, I tried Screaming Berry. Screaming Berry Zero to be specific. That has Mike Carlson written all over it and that was

good all right screaming berry i'm a big fan of okay so i had a when my one hand my only weakness and another screaming berry zero you were so in the double you were double fist carlson j that one is alcoholic and one is far from alcoholic correct perfect cocktail and it's in that neck of the woods that you're getting a little buzzed. You're seeing a windmill light on fire. Real rain comes in. It's a downpour. It's a downpour.

25% of each drink was Florida rainwater. That's a lot. Yes, it's true. It's true. What did Screaming Berry taste like? It tasted like mixed berry soda of some kind. It wasn't so unique maybe, but it was a good taste. I liked it.

Okay. So I endorse Screaming Berry. Okay. Maybe not. I wish Celestial Spritz was better. I know. It would have been a really victorious start to the day that the Celestial Soda is a big hit. Yeah.

I guess you can't say that it is. That place. Oh, yeah. celestial soda is a big hit yeah i guess you can't say that it is um that place the oh yeah the theming the just like just the the craft in the bar itself yeah it was bathrooms this was they have really uh gone wild just like getting these these restaurant facilities looking real sharp really well adorned i was pretty blown away uh they're the place that you know you you might think of like like as being like okay so that's that's like just the pizza place right yeah pizza moon pizza pizza moon jason are you excited do you know about this uh i know pizza moon it like has the early film the moon with the rocket in the eye well that's the thing it's like you're like in any other restaurant any other theme park this would just be like you know there's a place to get pizza and the pizza's fine and i can't really i i had a little bit and

it seemed like better than average theme park pizza which we've been talking about is typically very bad the the theming and the design and this thing it is yes it's full-on it's i mean the the more clever reference would be like old school trip to the moon but but i went to the thing that tributes it smashing pumpkins tonight tonight right you are in the smashing pumpkins tonight tonight video i thought you were gonna say hugo uh oh, Scott's beloved Hugo. Yeah, yeah. It might be like stepping into Hugo. Like for, all right, now open the door to the pizza restaurant.

Dear God, crazy Disneyland Paris Discoveryland level theming, like living dioramas with moving parts. It is like so much cooler in there than it has any right to be yeah uh pizza moon is pretty wild i gotta say great yeah i didn't spend we walked through pizza when you were in there a little longer than i was later but yeah it is for quick service pizza it's not like a sit down you know you're not waited on or anything for quick service pizza it's pretty crazy yeah that it's that detailed. Yes, pretty astounding. Then I was...

Oh, yes, go ahead. Is that where there's a little tongue? Remind me. There's a... Like, the pizza moon has a little tongue, and he goes... On the outside? I believe so. I think so.

I think the moon has a little tongue. A lightly upsetting moon tongue, yes. The pizza moon tongue moves, and I was thrilled. I think the moon has a little tongue. A lightly upsetting moon tongue, yes. The pizza moon tongue moves, and I was thrilled. I was really excited. Is it kind of back and forth? Yeah, yeah. He's like hungry. You know when Jason gets hungry for a meal?

He goes, blah, blah, blah. I know it. I live it. It's what he does in the steps before the aftercare. Yeah, right. My God. Why was that so crazy? How is that a level beyond anything that's been said?

Jason's offended for the first time on the show. He fanned himself like he had a fan on a porch. He's just thinking about pizza. My word. He's just thinking about that pizza moment. I'm thinking about the pizza grease getting everywhere. Quite a bit. I'm thinking about the pizza grease getting everywhere. I then got to sit and eat at the Atlantic.

That is the name of the big sit-down. It's very early as you come into Celestial Park with grand views of the entire place and the lake and the fountain. Food was fantastic. Really good cocktail there. I think everybody was really happy. It was during previews, however, and it's hard to not say that it took 90 minutes for the food to come. This was sort of

insane. Granted, we were warned. It's a little crazy in here, but when you get to 90, you're like, oh, it's more than a little crazy. I don't mean to be a complainer. This is a cool thing to get to do but but you had a certain point so i don't know all i can say is they got to get a better than that before it opens to the fingers crossed a lot of very unhappy people i split off i split off from the group at that point because i had a feeling

i didn't know 90 minutes i just had a feeling like there'll be shenanigans at a sit-down restaurant yeah in previews. No, you were right. You intuited correctly. Yeah. I was like, you know what? I think I'm going to not do it. So, yeah, I wandered at this point.

But it was kind of like, as far as how we played the day, I think there were no regrets on any end. Because, yes, you didn't have to do food hijinks. But I was like, what if we're sitting here forever not getting our food? And then suddenly they open Monst they did not if anything well as we're checking we're watching ride after ride go down yeah as we're sitting and not getting our food we're like what's happening yeah just melt down fully in the in this place again our experience i don't know if this is how it's going to keep going might have been only that day theme park preview is interesting i don't know just never gotten to do it it's wild no i was points of like whoa what's going on this it's getting

crazy around here yeah it would have been fun to hang out i mean i mean this sincerely it would have been kind of fun to hang out and go oh my god it's taking so long in this restaurant like i wouldn't have like had a fit or anything because you know going in that's sort of the whole thing but i just get i'm a little regular with my eating i'm kind of like i need a piece of bread or that's the sense i got when you went to do it is that you needed to eat yeah right then and then right there i waited right right right right yes yeah no not great didn't play out great i wondered to the show the harry potter show at that point oh right yes uh i don't want to i guess i really don't want to spoil that yeah i know i i i like it and i recommend it i really don't want to spoil that. Yeah, I know. I like it and I recommend it. I almost don't want to go further.

All I'll say is that go see it. Yeah. And I am very impressed with them making me confused about the geography of where I am. I know where I entered. I know I could get back there if I was in the park. But I couldn't draw on a map where i was once the show happened because basically and this will be i think there's a good way to talk about this without actually spoiling the show is that there's a little tent you probably see pictures

of it a little tent like oh a little show come on in what is it it's a show or whatever is it cirque arcane yes is that the right word? I believe Cirque Arcanoo, something like that. Arcanoo. Yes. And there's a guy that does socks like this, which is great. Maybe there is in the movie. I don't know. That might be a story.

Never seen it. Don't know. I don't know about Cirque Arcanoo. Never going to see it. There's a tent. There's a tent. And yeah, you go into it. And it's a very small.

This is operationally. I'm wondering how they will do this because there's not a queue to get in the tent. There's just a big clump of people all being funneled into a very small tent. And I was like, oh, this is going to be interesting on an opening week or whatever because it felt very chaotic. It felt like people didn't know where they were going or whatever, and we're funneling into a small tent. And then you go in this queue that is really intimate there's really like kind of small just

like and i'm like i don't know anything about this and then ultimately you filter into another room and you filter into a theater but once we're in the theater i was like where are we in the park because it doesn't it doesn't give you any hint of a full big theater show. So obviously you're somewhere backstage in some ways. It's a real, I want to say it's like a Russian nesting doll, but that doesn't feel accurate because those get smaller and smaller. This is like, it's like an inverse. It gets, oh, I was there a bigger doll inside. It's an opposite Russian nesting doll.

You see, you get it, great. This feels like the Masked Magician, a lot of the tricks on Masked Magician. It's like, oh, they've actually been doing this for like 100 years. It's still just trickery and it still works. All it really was, I'm sure, is they just funnel you backstage. Yeah. It just doesn't. The way you kind of wind around in that initial line, then go into the pre-show and then go into a theater,

it just, like your brain just doesn't quite know where you are and i i would it'd be interesting i didn't try this yet to go on a google google maps and go oh here's the theater like figure out where the actual facility is because i'm just it's a very effective way it makes you think you're getting something that's smaller scale than what it ends up being yes exactly so and then yes then you go wow this is a bigger this is a bigger thing i thought maybe the pre-show was actually the show yeah for a half second uh-huh because like something fun happens i'll say this like you think you you see the show you're like oh it's gonna be one of these and that'll be fun and then there's something else

happens and you go okay okay no no bigger yeah bigger scale surprises in store yeah it's almost the most spoilery thing it It is hard to tell. Yeah, I don't want to say it. I won't say it. Here's what I would... I touched on the negative, the way this food situation worked out. And here's where, Jason, I don't want to break your little heart here, but I want to touch on a little bit of downside of the trip.

I think Mike may have already warned me about where you're going. Yeah, yes. And I don't want to break the audience's little hearts either. But there's, you know, I think there's been a lot of buildup in the pre-materials about Celestial Park. And about this, like, that it's, you know, it's not really like an entrance area and just that. That it's not, that it's like Main Street. And then it just ends. That it's like, that it's like Main Street, and then it just ends. That it's like kind of this connective tissue that is a land in and of itself.

I don't know if it's working. I'm not sure that I currently feel good about. Now, granted, this is previews. And granted, there were people who were saying, oh, you know what? Now those trees and this and this and this, that wasn't here a couple weeks ago. by the when we get to may things might be really humming here it'll be but i would say that one celestial park for me was the biggest disconnect between how it was built up and what was shown and what it actually is i'm sorry i don't want to all i'll say well not all i'll say all i'll kind of say all i'll say is a lot of concrete in celestial park yeah so i don't we'll

see i'm very curious to see what happens in two months um because yes it felt like there weren't really any walk around performers uh not as much green as i wanted no and it felt like walking long distances on concrete between worlds. In my mind, I was like, we're going to be on the planet Vulcan, like the most beautiful part of Vulcan. Philosophers, everyone's in robes, people coming up to you. There's beautiful- As if you're on some sort of incredible creative philosophical retreat.

That's what I pictured, yeah. That you were in a mind-bending place exactly but instead it feels a little bit like this is a particularly nice like mall in newport beach or something the architecture for the buildings is amazing and what's in there is amazing and then that like there's a mario gift shop outside of mario and that has like stained glass right that's beautiful shoes of. There is beautiful stuff to see everywhere you go, and yet there's not a lot making me go, Celestial Park is magical.

It's really the long, big, it's just how much pavement there is. Yeah. Open pavement with no shading. It just becomes like, I'm annoyed when I'm in Celestial Park because it's really far from here to there, and I want to be over there,

and right now I got nothing to look at. There's not even a design on this concrete, which I thought there was going to be. It seems like they have to pack a lot more trees in. I think so. Which might also be like new growth tree. I've watched a lot of videos about Lost Island, the park in Iowa, I think.

And that seems like it has some trees, but some of the trees are very young saplings that will not grow and really bloom. Is this a newish park? I don't think I know about this park. In the last couple years, I think, it's the one with the original Sally Darkride volcano kind of creation.

Okay, okay. This is like, if I have have complaints it is things along these lines and it is like and not really knowing what it's like to be in a fully brand new theme park they're like it does you you can feel that thing like you know i'm sure being in disneyland in 1955 felt like this is it there's plots of it that are just kind of nothing like i know that these things grow and evolve and that like tree growth is a massive thing uh i have no doubts that in 10 years this is going to be immaculate that all of it is going to be but i think the way that they've been hyping it up i I was thinking, oh, my God, are we talking, is this Disney Sea or something?

Yeah. And there is something about, like, the grounds and sight lines. And, again, maybe they're not done. I don't really know. Okay, okay. But I think that maybe at night, because we ended our preview at 7 p.m. before stuff. The sun went out. because we ended our preview at 7 p.m. before stuff. I have a feeling maybe at night,

the wow factor of Celestial Park and everything else will be there. I'm guessing just from the things like the bio-reconstruct pictures you see. Yes. At night. It looks so great from the sky. But I'm a little disappointed by how it feels on the ground. I think the vibes, hopefully, fingers crossed, will be strong at night to the point where you go, wow, this is incredible to see all the different lights everywhere and the hotel lit up and the different built. Like, I bet it achieves its mission there. It's just that I wonder, yes, if they can make the magic

happen during the day. Because it definitely felt like a concrete jungle of some kind. Water features? Fountains and stuff? That wasn't on really, was it? No, I mean fountains were going. There wasn't a big show though. Those weren't exactly like shimmering, beautiful

Pandora way of water. There's something, it felt a little bit somehow chintzy than what i thought from the concept i i'm sure everyone knows so i'm so curious to see in two months that that is honestly kind of what's fun to see off base i don't like i could be i think there's and this isn't i've in the trades, not the trades, the rumor mill, that they've subbed out entertainment already as well. Oof. So there was, and I guess, you know what, I talked to some people who did a preview as well

that got to see celestial entertainment that was roaming that apparently has been scrapped. Oh, man. So I think there are things happening territory oh and i don't know if it's scrapped because of a budget or it's just scrapped because okay that's not working let's try this oh maybe so maybe yes so that yeah i don't want to make it seem like i think they've cut the budget or some or maybe they have i don't know but like i don't know what is changing yeah yeah i Yeah. I don't want to be like a, you know, like they show early cuts of movies. And I don't want to be the audience member going, there's one part where it's just green behind the guy.

Yeah. Are you going to fix that? I hope I'm not that. I hope that I'm not so just ignorant of like, yeah, they're going to fix that. Yeah. I don't know. I hope that I'm not so just ignorant of like, yeah, they're going to fix that. Yeah. I don't know. But I would say Celestial Park is the area that made me the most nervous as far as this being like truly next level. Like every nook and cranny of this place.

I also think there's something up with, and maybe this will slowly get addressed too. I think that this plot of land is not a particularly magical plot of land you know how in theme park concept art it's always like here's the land then it just kind of like casts off into trees and stuff yeah and it just because and disney world is like they're very lucky they're like that that's such ideal land because like magic it does feel like past space mountain and contemporary it just turns into forest right yeah here it's extremely clear that it's like then over there is the road yeah there's like where they deliver shit like it's very like everything

around it is not particularly you could feel that this was just like industrial land seven years ago or whatever and i think that will kind of like go away but it does need some like they gotta like plant some trees and cover some shit because there are there are parts where you're on in the queue or on the ride and you do see like loading docks and again this is not so like we've all been going on test track for decades test track is a ride that takes you through a parking lot. Yes. Like, it's not like this is specifically a Universal problem.

But, like, I don't know. There's, like, a little bit of magicing up, I think, that they still got to do. I think that Universal fans, three of us certainly are Universal fans, I think there's certainly a desire from the public at large to want universal to get a couple shots in on disney yeah we want to be way better yeah right we do we do desire that and i think people because people are a little bit annoyed with disney for many many reasons over the last so many years that i do think you can see it online where it's like oh my god disney killer some people are a little over hypey about everything sure we've heard plenty of stuff and and that's that's just people's personality tends to want to do that over i am guilty of that sometimes and you're an online person and you

want to go uh greatest thing ever or worst thing ever yeah yeah as opposed to what we're doing here which is kind of like this i like this like this is this is a very gray area kind of discussion. Yeah, so honestly, somewhat expectations have to be tempered in general. But I do think the first impression going into a park is very important. And all joking aside with Islands of Adventure, we did a very controversial Port of Entry episode a year or two ago where I was joshing around a little bit. Some people thought that I was maybe being serious that I didn't like Port of Entry. But Port of Entry is legit music-wise, architecture-wise. You do go in there.

There's some character pretty immediately. There's a lot of character. You see the whole, why can't I think of the name of it? Ferris Lighthouse? You can't think of the name of it because none of us knew the name of it three years ago. Well, that's maybe why. But the lighthouse. I should have said the lighthouse. The recreation of one of the modern...

The wonders of the ancient world. Well, of course. Now I remember. As opposed to the modern world where we have the Bass Pro Shop pyramid. Right. That's one of the wonders of the world have the Bass Pro Shop pyramid. Right. That's one of the wonders of the world as far as I'm concerned. Sure. Your destination. But yeah, you talk about Tokyo DisneySea.

You walk in Tokyo DisneySea, you go, holy fuck, I've never been in a place like this before. Yeah, and we're holding it to the best of the best. And that's an insane standard. But also, let's go back to Alan's Adventure, too. Yes, it's part of entry and all that, but like it delivers you to this grand lagoon yes which even though like it is nothing right it is water there's not a bunch of they they did go in a different direction by not making it a big body of water which is a great way to fill a bunch of land and make it feel very lived in so it is it is kind of like risky and different what they've done that it's more like it's, there is some water of it. It ebbs and flows. And then there's a lot of just open space.

Yeah. Like, but it, uh, yeah, I don't know that it's a holy shit. And you know, I'm so sorry to say this with all the pilot.

This is not one of these spicy takes that I revel in. I am not proud as I say this. I don't know about that. Kronos. I don't think that Kronos is like, it doesn't top. I think it's like that. Yeah. I think you're more down on that Kronos. I don't think that Kronos is like... It doesn't top Ferris Lighthouse, let's say that. Yeah, I think you're more down on the Kronos than I am. I'm not saying it beats the Lighthouse.

I'm not saying it beats it. It wasn't running. It wasn't really running. That hurts it. And from a distance, we saw some night effects after we were on the way. I'm reserving my Kronos judgment for opening day. I'm going to wait for the two-hour Kronos episode.

Yes. We're going to do a lot of Kronos. Maybe one episode per Kronos. Per medallion. Per different, yeah. Are you talking about per portal or per? Because there's only one Kronos. No, I guess you're right.

You're talking about each portal with its own There's only one Kronos. No, I guess you're right, yes. You're talking about each portal with its own Kronos-like structure on top. We could do an episode about multiple Kronoses because they are taking... And if you don't know, this is like the entrance of the park, we should say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The tower that you walk through, the very first portal that you enter for the day. They're doing a tour of a Kronos replica. That's fun. It's going city to city. We're taking it on the road. Yeah, yeah. I forget where.

It's not LA. You can go to Chicago and a couple other cities and see a slightly smaller Kronos. That is fun. So I hear what you're saying, and I don't disagree with the instinct, but I want to wait a second before I make my ruling. I mean, I like getting our thoughts out in this way, and not in a negative way, because I am interested to see what they do in two months. agree with the instinct but i want to wait a second before i make my ruling i mean i like getting our thoughts out in this way because and not in a negative way because i am interested to see what they do in two months i am i do find that fascinating i want people to say scott was a

creative decision judged early he uh he didn't understand that the sound wasn't mixed yet and they hadn't finished the color correct and that's why he was judging the i hope that's the it's possible that will happen so yeah i i i i do wonder how it will shake out by opening day and then a year from now because yeah i want i did have my expectations high for getting in there and seeing helios grand and and seeing everything and wanting to feel like that land, because I think you've been saying, oh, that land is maybe my most desired location. That's the one I want to go to the most.

Well, I think it's the Monsters Ride and Celestial Park were high on my list. And then everything else is kind of great because I don't know how much I'll be able to get done when it's officially open. So there's something that's needed there. Maybe they're doing it. I hope they're doing it.

Maybe they'll do it. I'll say this. You were talking about sight lines and the area in which the park was built. And maybe internally they've thought of this and they can't do it but the number one thing i think universal needs to do is fight against the disney bubble and the disney culture of hotels and things to do i kind of think that's the magic like sauce to disney world because we always have these arguments with people disney world's better obviously these are people that don't go as often as we do. But what they're talking about is the trees covering the hotels, the sight lines. They're talking about that.

They're talking about the multiple hotels. Whether they're saying it or not, their memory of Disney World is based on the Disney bubble. You're fully immersed. And especially if you went as a kid when it was vastly more affordable to stay of course grand florida interpolynesian or contemporary that uh if you're like you know because like we can we can talk all day like like stella nova's interesting it's like a building what you know that's how disney builds things now too but uh not to say it's a let's say it's a pretty decent building but like that if you went to disney world as a kid as we did and you enter a magical world for the day and then you

go back to the hotel and the hotel is also a magical world yes i'm in an island paradise i'm in a sleek uh structure of the future i'm in this like like victorian grand uh uh you know like high status place. Yeah. I'm in the Wilderness Lodge. I'm in nature. I'm like that it doesn't end when you go back to your room. And then for adults and for parents that like, oh, and then there's like actually good restaurants and there's good drinks and like this stuff because you're right that Universal has some of that,

but what it has a lot of is like, and then technically we do have a little bar, and it's like very bright and not a lot to look at. It's kind of like a cafeteria there. Well, one of the criticisms of Universal Hotels I've heard is like, it's a Lowe's hotel. It's just endless hallways. It just keeps wrapping and wrapping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, certainly. And, yes. Disney has always had magic to the grounds, and some of that is that Walt bought however many he made. He bought bigger than Manhattan, and so it just is like some of that is just what they got, and a lot of it is literally undeveloped. But whereas Universal has piecemealed it from these odd, all right, let's buy this from Lockheed. that is just what they got and that a lot of it's literally undeveloped and uh but uh whereas

universal has piecemealed it from these odd all right let's buy this from lockheed okay well we can buy a hotel over here and you can take a bus and like they've had to do it in this piecemeal janky way and they've done a great job everything they've made is great but yeah there's not you could i think say with a fairly straight face, I just chased that Disney magic. And I don't think anybody says, I just chased that universal magic. Yes. And again, somebody might tell me it's impossible to do what you're saying. Just the size they have, the land they bought for cheap, the trees that were already there.

Yeah. It's just impossible. But that's actually the thing that would flip. I mean, obviously, prices could flip people's vacation habits. But that's the thing. If people started feeling like they were going into the little magical world of Universal, whatever version of Bubble they could construct, that is a thing that I think. And they have it a little. They have it a little they have a little yeah like as we've

as we we talked so highly about those boats and get it then i are what we as for as much as there were there were problems with uh forcing ourselves to live at city walk essentially for a little bit yeah the part that was good was like wow the system of canals and getting on the boat that is a version of it right at the beginning and the end of the day. And some of those hotels have magic. When they made that switch from Universal Studios is a parking lot and you walk up to it and that's your day to it's this world of waterways and there's a zillion things to do. They got some of the way there, but it's the challenge of we built a park down the road. It's like, well, how do you make a bubble when you got to go out on a real road?

I know. It's tough. Yeah. I mean, the first thing you're describing is it requires a huge capital investment. Oh, yeah. But it also, to some extent, there's design priorities because Islands of Adventure felt pretty lived in even the first two years. Certainly. And I think they did hide the real

like there is a high school right behind an adventure right right but you might not know that you know yeah there's something i don't know it feels like there's more of a berm even if there is that got hit better but then like but now they're i4 if you're building down the road and volcano bay if you're waiting in line up the stairs on one of the water slides, there's just houses. You're just like, oh, mother of rodent houses. I'm in my bathing suit on an elevated platform looking into somebody's house. Yeah, kind of close to what Knott's Berry Farm kind of uses their advantage of being like, oh, it's a neighborhood theme park. Right.

So, again, I'm sure someone will tell me it's impossible to do more of what I'm saying, and I get that. But it does feel like, oh, Stellaluna or whatever the hell the name of it is, Stellanova. You know, you peek your head and you're like, there should be like one cool, unique thing in this hotel, whether it's the bar or something that you could go into. And you want to go and look at the hotels of Universal. You want to. Yeah.

And maybe this is a 10-year plan that there's going to be a walkway from these hotels to Epic. And Epic will start its own little, you know, location that has maybe a city. I don't know how much they own there. Also, if they, you know, some of that, not an insignificant amount of that Disney World magic is monorail and now Skyliner. And that the ways you get around are magical, too. Yes, right. If Universal could figure out something that isn't just buses, it would be, I don't know, like if there's, if there are little magical potter carriages that can take you from something or that's part of it it's not crucial and this is really we really are like we went to a brand new theme park but we think also that the buses should be neat too i don't i don't mean to be a like a little uh little little

complainy toddler uh but i think you know i think we are what we want is disney world's magical and immersive universal's magical but like both have it all and they all it's Magical and Immersive, Universal's Magical and Immersive. Both have it all, and it's all perfect, and they all fight, and they make each other better. Yeah, I think in Florida, the main requirements are the buses are reliable and cold. So that's bare minimum. As long as they do that, you're awesome. I want to get to stuff we haven't touched on yet.

Isle of Burke. Oh, yeah. You guys saw. Isle of Burke on yet. Isle of Berk. Oh, yeah. You guys saw. Isle of Berk. Loved. Isle of Berk. I think Isle of Berk is maybe the best land. I think it's maybe the winner.

I think, yeah, there's something about the lower expectations of like, what's this? How to train your dragon? Why? Who likes that? Well, obviously, lots of kids like it, and it's going to blow up even bigger than it already is with the live action coming out. But with this thing that we've hit over and over through the years of we don't care what the IP is as long as it's rendered wonderfully and magically. I don't know anything about this franchise, and I thought it was so great and charming.

And you don't need to. It almost reads to me as just an original theme park world. Great. It's just like Vikings plus dragons. Wonderful. Cool. I think with Nintendo and especially Donkey Kong, you've got a very, like that's the fantasy land or that's the Toon Lagoon. And I think it's like that that's like the kid place bright colorful

poppy here this is kind of the this is like i think the really successful family land yeah where everything is stuff that you can you can do together just aesthetically without even getting on anything i think uh all this uh just just the the placemaking is really neat yeah and there's a lot going on too because there's a lot of meet and greets with the dragons. I saw the Boston Dynamics robot dog dressed up as a dragon walking autonomously. I didn't see that. Yeah. Oh.

So there was just a dragon walking around, but it was the Boston Dynamics dog, basically, that robot dog that they used for Dr. Toothsome. Toothsome's dog. What was his name? Widget? No. It was... Coco? Was it Coco or Truffle? Let's call him Truffle. I feel like it was a chocolate-based one. Maybe it was Truffle. Bon Bon?

Let's call them all of them. 2020, I don't particularly remember limited run theme park attractions. Bon Bon, but it's the O's or zeros. That's how you make it a robot. That's good. I was going to call him Dollar, but I think that's Richie Rich's dog. I'm going to go ahead and say that's Richie Rich's dog.

I got Richie Rich on the brain. Well, I was going to say I don't know what's going on. I know what's going on. It's my brain. I got Richie Rich on the brain. Finally firing up that live action netflix series 12 years later with a weird like like 12 year old maid robot woman that was a that's weird it's a weird show i've watched one episode but not classic richie rich that's good and pure um the comic

strip cartoon you know yeah the harvey yeah, so. We're all thinking about it. They should build Richie Rich World at Epic Universe. All right, all right. Rich portal. Calm down, calm down. At the very least, the Harvey comics portal. I want to see their laser carved Mount Rushmore of the family's beds. Oh, that would be awesome.

That would be great. John Larrick kind of attacks them. Oh, Casper Lane. So Isla Burke from Marx, too. Yes, and there's a meet and greet. It might be with Toothless. I know one of the dragons that's the big dragon is Toothless. Toothless is the black one.

I know him from posters. I know him from posters. There is a meet and greet, and I'm watching it. Again, I've never seen these movies. These movies I will probably see sooner rather than later. There's a meet and greet with Toothless, and there's a handler, and they play nice, sad music, sentimental music, while the kids are going up to meet the dragon.

I tear up so hard, so quickly. It wasn't even like I'm sitting and watching multiple kids go through literally i walk by i see a kid meeting a dragon i don't know if it's because i dad the dads left their kids behind on this trip and that's part of it i'm sure it is on some level but immediately i tear up seeing kids hearing this music with toothless with these characters i have no connection with whatsoever so i go well i guess works. I guess this is doing well. I had a similar reaction. You sent me that longer Superman trailer that I'm assuming is from like CinemaCon.

Yes. It came out. With Crypto, yes. Which I showed my daughter. And I'm like, Crypto's jumping on him like a real dog. Like I was freaking out. You know what? I'll say this about that.

They showed the five minute scene with Superman. They showed the trailer and I was like, ah, is this going to work? And I see that they did the longer one where crypto's like beating the shit out of already because he's excited to see him and i was like well this is kind of good i guess i guess i kind of like this okay uh superman hope so yeah so i was like oh man these meet and greets are gonna be awesome for kids and for parents watching them well i and you know i wasn't paying a lot of attention to I don't even know if it was all open.

There's like a kid run around area in there, kind of like a rope and climb zone. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I actually don't know if they were running the boats that you fire. They weren't. They weren't. And that looks awesome too. But yeah, they weren't running them. It felt like full of life without even those going.

I feel like this is just families will really post up here for a long time. I bet the weights are going to be bad because it's going to be very popular around here. Yeah, yes. We popped into their quick service and that was like a little mead hall. I didn't go in there. It looks cool in the concert. The show wasn't running also, which I've heard very good things about. There's also a show in that land which is also it's in beijing yeah yes so you

can see it online too but like and probably everything's online by the time we put this out but the the main coaster there hiccups wing gliders which does not stay in my brain me not knowing these movies at all i really was like is hiccup a dragon dragon? No Hiccup is Ming Hiccup is What's his name? I'm so ignorant of this thing Jay Baruchel Yeah Hiccup I'm Hiccup It's Hiccup

But I This I think I think we all have this reaction Because you only see Bits and pieces of it As you're in the line And as you're in the land And you're thinking

Okay family coaster Goofy's Barnstormer sounds good well i'm here i'll do it i don't think i realize this is like as as somebody in our group described it like hagrid's junior yes it's so fun this is a little sneaker upper yeah it's not you know obviously like it's a it's a coaster with multiple launches that they meant to be cool and high tech and fun. But I was not prepared for, and I'll sort of leave it a little spoiler free, I guess. Maybe I already did too many. Sorry.

Just like, hey, don't sleep on Hiccup Swingla. I don't know. That is a good ride and a good, like, kind of trainer ride, you know, maybe for me to take my children on so that they end up launch queens and not no launch queens. I was happy. I was like, oh, good. Maybe I take my wife on this because after Guardians of the Galaxy Cosmic Rewind, I'm like, all of these new rides, she's going to get off and run to a trash can and puke. Well, werewolf, maybe.

Werewolf, maybe. Okay. Although it's short. It's short Maybe okay Okay No I think this one Yeah I think this would be

Totally fine This would be fine Fun fake outs Show scenes Things you don't expect It to do It's Yeah no

Just Caught me off guard Like High on my list Very high on my list I agree And what's fun about it too Is that

You There's They use the Act actual land itself as the show scenes in most of it. There's some stuff that's hidden that happens that you can't see from the line or from the land. But it's like using the X. It's like as if the Fantasyland had a ride that used Fantasyland, the backdrop, and the castle for the show scenes. Yes. Which I think is cool. And it's kind of a similar effect in Donkey Kong Country. Yeah, to some degree.

And a little bit Curse of the Werewolf as well. Like you kind of explore the grounds a little bit. A little bit. And you might think like, wait, it's a ride that just takes me through all the other stuff in the land? That seems like repetitive. But actually no it's like gives you new perspectives it's economical like you get to see things in cool new ways might but i think having not gotten on the e-tickets my big headline and when people have been asking me is i just keep saying it's like trilogy of not that intense family coasters that are all pretty remarkable i think those three yeah

that's great yeah we're yeah werewolf uh werewolf kong and uh yeah i think that's a design trend i am very fond of is like augmented reality or gamification it's like i don't know those have the the can stack up yeah like using the landscape to see a different perspective yeah it's pretty cool yeah no cool cool and clever and also just like being on some like smooth new coasters feels really great which maybe loops us around to stardust racers stardust racers because uh i'll cop to it i chickened out didn't do it it was the first thing everybody went to ride wise um i just uh i think when i learned that it didn't have a heart a harness mommy that there wasn't a thing that i could hold this has become my i will go on things as long as i can grip that i can grip that i can give a big pillow a big hug um but i yeah i don't know there's things

on the sides maybe but that would have been uncomfortable to grip yeah i wasn't sure crotch restraint oh yeah how'd your crotch do it was mildly crushed mild say i find that like on hot sauce uh ratings from mild mild medium and hot crushing. It was the Scoville's mild crushing. It was, it was not as bad. I mean, the worst crushing was twisted Colossus at six flags, but that was a purely lap restraints.

First time I've ever done it. I am so interested to do twisted Colossus again now, because I've done Velocicoaster's only lap, Stardust's only lap. So I wonder if you're like it, you're into it. Yes. I wonder if now I go on twisted Colossus and I'm a pro at these, and that first time on

Twisted Colossus freaked me out badly because I just wasn't familiar with that type of coaster. You should do it. I've seen it suggested as a second gate. I think there's probably a lot to the history and when it was just Colossus and then Twisted Colossus. Step-by-step opening, obviously. That's the one, right? It is.

So, yeah. But you know what? It'll be the best episode it can be if you go on and brave a crushing again. I'll brave the crushing. I think you should go on Velocicoaster before you go on Stardust. Wow. Just because there were definitely more moments on Stardust where I went, ah!

In a way that just made me go, ah! I swear with Velocicoaster, and I didn't do it this time, but Velocicoaster, literally I was just euphoric the whole time even though it's insane. It's so intense. And that might override it for me. Maybe. I mean, you're still not going to like it,

but I think it will be more of a pure. I got a wall still i mean we're gonna see there's gonna be a lot of pressure coming fast and furious coaster literally opening i'm within this next year right i mean there's no way i don't think that's gonna be i don't know i'm scared that that's gonna be velocicoaster that flips around. That's going to be intense, but it's going to be staring at you every day you're driving around the San Fernando Valley. Yeah, I know. I'll be thinking about it all the time. But I'm on Guardians going like, I think I'm one wrong look away from this being too much. I'm thinking about it.

I'm on it, and I'm like, this is a performance. And if you make one false move, it's like I'm doing a figure skating routine, and the tiniest thing could just unravel. One bad landing. Yeah, I mean, Guardians, they had trash cans everywhere, and they were so fast with hand-hands. Puking is a different. They do this a lot.

Yeah. Again, I feel 5% sick after Guardians. But I don't feel queasy on stardust or velocity coaster it's not that's it's not like that for me it's literally my like motion sense so there's a possibility that if fast has the fast and fierce coaster has the flipping cars that i feel maybe the difference between real landscape and filmic landscapes or like special effects landscapes a possibly i think it's literally just the same kind of principle where you're having a 3d movie and your body doesn't quite

know where it's going it's like when you get sick in a car when you're looking at your phone and you're not driving i should be driving looking from but you know what i'm saying it's because your body is experiencing movement that your eyes aren't experiencing like it's the disconnect between the two this is the dumbest way i'm sure to explain this phenomenon but it's like because guardians like flips you around your body doesn't quite know where to look it's it's there's different like things you're like big asteroid or big planet but your body twists in a different way and you're moving and it's not lining up with your vision and your body that's the dumbest way i possibly can explain this but i it's not one fluid experience like anything's mismatched yeah not dialed correctly exactly like you have to be dialed in with your vision has to know where you're headed

and your body has to feel that way and i think when it gets off, apparently body wars initially made people sick because it didn't have a point to look at. You want, I guess, in a 3D movie like that to have something that the audience has their eye trained on so everybody's looking at a specific place so your stomach doesn't get messed up. That's why I'm nervous about Fast and Furious because I'm like, the whole city?

You have the entire city to look at you got this whole San Fernando Valley yes and it may be yeah I could potentially get sick on it in that way so I'm just saying there's a lot of pressure and there's going to be new coasters replacing rip ride rockets I mean one of these days

you may have to do one of these is what I'm saying one of these days you may have to graduate yet again yeah no I know there's there's there's another level there's another level and it would be good it would like allow me to experience cool need rides yes and i don't like so so i would still say velocicoaster i think you should do because it's just so much smoother stardust racers is really fun i have heard that they're still adjusting they're figuring speed out apparently on it which is also something you never really think about because in my mind these days you would plug in new roller coaster on a computer it would tell you exactly the speed

to go it would tell you like all that stuff in my mind should be just like worked out and they know it but i guess it makes sense that they're like they run it with some people and people go and that was a little that hurt i don't know this firsthand i'm just saying still dialing it in so they're still fine yeah and this is not uncommon i think every coaster goes through this i don't think velocicoaster like landed perfectly well that one especially has a couple cross like crisscross moments you uh stardust yeah that they probably need to time out yes they have to time that but i think i think more of the speed adjustment is just because like some people felt like it was too rough maybe when it was faster oh interest um because i would say my experience

going on whatever this speed i don't know the specific speed but my experience on on it was you definitely like round whatever a top hat type situation which is that big curve that velocicoaster has you definitely round like a top hat thing like that and there's definitely a moment where you go boom like you it feels very much like you're kind of banging into your restraint a little bit so it's not velocicoaster for some reason doesn't make me feel like that. It makes me feel like I'm flying over it and in sort of more of a smooth thing. So there was more moments of like kind of that thing where you hit into your restraint on a big whatever hill or something.

And it's still really fun. It's just not quite the same. I feel like I'm Superman flying. Right. Like Velocicoaster has. Now, as you just said, there's a soundtrack to the ride that's really good from what I could hear. And there's a moment where both, like, so you're launching at the same time, two different long trains, two long roller coaster trains and there's a moment where basically both coasters are in the exact same spot and your heads are looking up at each other as you i don't know i can't even i'm

trying to think of it you're going like straight up or you're going i don't know what direction even it was i really should look but you can like lock eyes with your equivalent yes other it's a completely mirrored track so let's just say like one track is is up and one track is down and you look up and you are looking at a mirror image of your car with a different set of people in it wow and the soundtrack helps make this feel like it's matrix bullet time which is what definitely like the highlight of the whole thing it's toward the end wow is that You feel like, when you look up,

and you're just looking a bunch of other people in the eyes. Who are you? You have an entire life that is not mine. It's a ride that allows you to saunter. Saunter. Stop and saunter. Bullet time and saunter. Bullet time and saunter.

This was an original selling point to Dueling Dragon. Yes, right, right. But at the time, Universal didn't send you through a metal detector and make you put your bags away. So everyone's shit was flying out of the pockets for a decade. And then they're like, oh, we got to do something about this. Oh, no, a quarter sliced my eye. You get an iPhone right in the nose.

I think someone did get injured by a flying cell phone. I'm sure they did. And it caused- Now you bring things into the selfie stick era. Oh my God. We're talking decapitations. Well, selfie sticks should just be for boating. I'm glad they-

Yeah, I'm glad. The theme parks took a stand. They had to. My last point of inquiry, merchandising. Did you like the merchandise for sale? Yes, I didn't get a ton of time to look around at merchandise just because I wanted to do more of the actual stuff. There wasn't a ton of Celestial Park stuff.

I did bring Captain Cacao home for my daughter who was happy but confused to who this was. You don't say. There's something confusing about it because I swear we had an entire conversation on this show about Captain Cacao, this original Epic Universe character before I realized that it was a bear.

Oh, yeah. I think I was in the park and you were showing me Captain Cacao and I realized that it was a bear. Oh, yeah. I think I was in the park and you were showing me Captain Cacao and I went, it's a bear? Yeah, yeah. We missed that point. Yeah, it's got a little hat and a little star. He's cute.

He's a cute bear. He does seem cute, but I could see he's not immediately understandable to a two-year-old brain. Yeah. I will say this about the merchandise in general. It is just it is i didn't see a lot of like next level theme park merch there's some isle of berk stuff that's like

really striking and it's different graphic design yeah but mostly like you go harry potter it's the same like hogwarts aesthetic clothing wands uh monsters there's some cool stuff in monsters um but nothing so striking to me so i didn't i didn't do such a comprehensive look at all the merchandise but it seemed like theme park merchandise basically and nothing that stood out to me like oh my god i have to have this or that well what they should you know what the ideal goal i think of theme park merchandise is to bring a little piece of the park back, to bring a little feeling of what you experienced back with you. I can't be there all the time, but I can, in this little way, do something or see something at home that is something I could do there. And to that end, as we talk about what are the big headlines of what you can do in Epic Universe,

I feel like what they should offer is miniature crotch crushers. There should be some little item or toy, and I can't speak to this. I think Jason would be the guy who could maybe help us figure out what the item would be like. But just a little bar that you can bring back home and just give that little extra team member press that makes

you that gets you yeah ready for that ride and and feeling you know that's the the universal magic what that is for you is the numbness you feel in your crotch when the ride's about to start right yeah it's not something you feel in your heart no i feel it in my loins something you feel in your heart. No, I feel it in my loins. It's something you feel in your chub. Yeah. Well, I think you get a little Kronos, and 80% of the time it holds your pens in your home office. But that 20%. And then the 20% of the time it's a very restrictive,

like a cage, you know? Yeah, I do know. I do know. Ooh, this is a portal to somewhere extremely interesting. Yeah, that's true. All right, well, hey, free merch tip. They'll be really glad we got to go when they hear this. Oh, Mike, you went to City.

Did you go in the preview center at all? Oh, I did. It's awesome, yeah. Yeah. You've seen pictures of the model, but it's much bigger than you think. Part of me is almost as much more excited about the preview center than the actual park. I love a preview center. I also ate like a B-minus turkey club at Margaritaville.

Oh, why? Why did you do that? I knew you'd end up back there. I knew there was no way. You suggested it after we went, or we could, Margaritaville, and I said, or we could go to any other restaurant

in this city. So we went to Disney Springs. Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, fun stuff. What an experience. So cool to get to do it.

Sorry you couldn't join us, Jason. We'll get you down there. You will get your Epic Universe experience, or at least your epic universe preview experience uh but if maybe that's all you want hey well depending preview center to boat and then you can buy some merch at the preview center hey you know i'm a simple man it's a pretty good day that's a pretty good day uh but we had a pretty good day in the place uh you know the thanks to anybody who helped

this happen and you survived podcast the ride uh for three bonus episodes every month check out podcast the ride the second gate or get one more bonus episode on our vip tier club three you will find all of that at patreon.com slash podcast the ride including on the second gate on wednesday you know this we really wanted to be focused on Epic Universe, but we did fit in some Disney World time while we were down there as well. And on Wednesday, Mike and I are going to talk about what we are positive was the most cool, transcendent experience we had during this little trip.

I'm excited for the drop of what the episode is and what the title is, because as soon as it happened, we we were like is there an episode there yep i think so yeah it might seem like you might not get it when you see it but i think when we start blabbing you'll you'll see you will you will go into a portal into our hearts and hopefully experience what we experienced because it was really i don't know i hope it's i hope none of this is like a slideshow of a vacation you didn't get to go on. Jason, is that how you feel? Are we just showing you?

And then we went here. Click, click. Then we went here. Click, click. No, not really. That's good to hear. Even as a child, I would have been excited for that

because I've been like, oh, what things did they do? What did they prioritize? Can you summon a relative who went to a place for that because i've been like oh what things did they do what did they prioritize can you do can you summon like a relative who went to a place who showed you like postcards or a slideshow of a trip an eight-year-old you was like wow i didn't know that was a factory tour you could take i don't know i i feel like my aunt betty went to florida a lot growing up disney world florida or just like uh you know looking at like botanical gardens?

Oh, Disney World. Oh, yeah. Big Disney World. Oh, okay. That side of the family. I was hoping it was just like, and they had a sunflower exhibit. There were sunflowers as far as the eye could see. 70 sunflowers, I believe.

Then we went to Gator World. And boy, there certainly was a lot of them. Mm-hmm. He went on all the trips. He didn't have to be told. Oh, yeah. He knows. Forever Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.