Podcast: The Ride - European Vacation: Movieland Italy

Episode Date: August 7, 2020

It's the first stop on our European Vacation! Movieland: The Hollywood Park has all your favorite characters from blockbuster films. And they definitely have the rights for them! Race Through New York Starting Jimmy Fallon with Griffin Newman episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Forever! Dog! Benvenuto to Podcast The Ride's European vacation, hosted by three guys who are excited even to take a fake trip i'm scott gerdner uh mike carlson's here as well i am here i'm ready to uh virtually travel uh which is the best we can do get a breath of digital fresh air uh jason sher, you excited? Hey, Mambo, Mambo Italiano. That's what I say, at least for today's episode. I guess I'll have to figure out some other country-specific thing as we go along. That's what I figured. We'll all learn some fun greetings.

We'll let you know where we're going right at the top of all of them. Because, gang, we're spending the whole month of August in virtual Europe. This is going to be great. We're getting out of here. As we've said, we've been cooped up. The three of us have been cooped up. You listening at home have been cooped up. And, you know, there's lots of things that are off the table for us to do including going to europe

americans can't really do that rightfully so it's the most correct i think meaning there could ever be uh as we're really fucking this thing up uh so but you know what they can't put regulations on is our imagination so we're gonna take a vacation in our imagination, all of us together. And I couldn't be more excited to do it. I think that you should, yeah, maybe if you're a listener and you're at home, maybe get a cocktail. Maybe listen to this outside, wear a tank top. You know, all the things you do during the summer months during a vacation. You know, I really want everyone to feel this with us. I want it to be a sensory experience.

It's a virtual reality trip you're taking. And if today's episode is any indication, start off right off the bat by ignoring any copyright, trademark, just throw any knowledge you have of that out the window. Yes, we're also taking a vacation from copyright laws with today's topic potentially safety regulations too it sure looks like it it sure looks like it videos and photos here we'll get into where we're going today and where we're kicking it off but i want to say a couple things just right off the top but what this month is gonna consist of i and you know because another

thing we're taking a little vacation from is our usual areas on the show and i'll tell you this in this month of august no disney no universal no six flags we're not doing any of the usual shit and we i think we couldn't be starting more off brandy than where we're starting today. Yes. I mean, look, it's a fake Universal Studios. I'll just say it. That's what we're doing today. But we're going to get a little of the flavor.

But the flavor is off. It's slightly, it tastes weird. But it's not bad. It just tastes a little weird it's exactly like a type of food that doesn't really translate in another plate like if you guys have had the experience of having mexican food in a place that is where mexican food is not native that's how this that's how this park feels it feels like they technically followed the recipe of universal studios but just i don't know it's not in their dna they just it wasn't in them to get it right it feels like somebody went maybe

to universal like five ten years ago and they're like uh we need you to design a park and they're like uh yeah i think i remember there's dinosaurs there's like that arch thing okay yeah yeah let me sketch something out here for you and i'll have it to you tomorrow which is weird weird is i think that's what i want out of this series and uh we're certainly getting it today i'm a little i'm a little worried i'm sure it'll all work out i'm a little worried that this is episode is kind of like if you introduce the concept of chekhov's gun and you're like hey check off check out chekhov's gun bang bang bang bang like you just are immediately show the gun and just immediately start firing it in the air this is so weird uh you might be right but i also would say

you know this whole series that we're doing this month the things we're talking about later it's going to get weirder i think it's going to be weirder there's other things coming up that some people you might be familiar with you might not be that are super weird every one of them that we that we've talked about because we kind of know our itinerary some of them charmingly so um it's i i don't know but i i think that's this has always been my assumption about european theme parks is that they are weird i don't like and you none of them are that um famous in a way like like we're pretty big theme park heads and yet we haven't found ourselves really ever talking about european parks to to much of an extent before yeah i mean i don't know if this is maybe just our american bias or the fact that there's such prominent american

parks that they've set the standard and now we look at these and we go it's so weird and it's just because we're used to something i would be interested to hear from people who live in europe do you think these parks are weird as as we do or do you think our parks are weird maybe you think what we're about to talk about today is perfectly normal and you've been to universal florida and you go well this isn't anything like the place we're about to talk about yeah which i'm hiding i don't know why i'm hiding yeah i know yeah yeah we could say i i i'm i think maybe i'm just wanting to talk through anything else about the europe thing in general which which one thing that we might want to say at the top

is that after some discussion and some some uh reflection and looking inward we have decided we're not going to do efteling might be good to get that out of the way right because unlike let's just say i think every place that we're talking about this month none of us have personally been to uh we're breaking Doug Jones rule that watching videos isn't the same as going there and I know that but hey look we're not getting to Europe anytime soon so we're doing we can't we have scoured

a lot of websites but anyway Efteling felt like somebody's got to go one of the three of us has to go for us to do it justice yeah that's yes that's true that's such a big heavy hitter and probably it definitely has a lot of substance but maybe not enough madness that i think we're all right in the like i had so much fun reading about this park i have to say and i think if it had a little

more substance i would have had less fun um i'll go out and say we're not doing to like to voli gardens either the one that walt disney like walked in and inspired him uh we have we made him scott to your credit i mean we talked about a bunch but scott you made a massive list so yeah yeah well with with some listener help because we threw it out there if we were going to go to europe where would you want us to go? A lot of people said Efteling, and we're ignoring you. I'm sorry. But again, you can see, also, there was somebody specifically campaigning and saying, you should not go to

Efteling, because you need to experience it for yourself. And we bought that argument, and we were kind of feeling that anyway. But yeah, we considered a lot, and I actually think what you'll find there, I think there's some parks that seem fine and good and solid, but if you've listened to this podcast for a while, you know maybe think what you'll find there i think there's some parts that seem like fine and good and solid but you know if you listen to this podcast for a while you know maybe that's not the best

uh meat on the bone we we need the the most shitty bizarre miscolored meat to be on a bone that's falling apart that's what we want to eat yes uh i guess i agree jason sorry yeah it's a good turn of phrase because there is some shitty discolored meat coming uh later in this episode absolutely yes yes dear god the food well you want to just let's let's just throw it out uh let's let's start talking about it but although you know another what's tough about saying where we're going today is like what is it called really there's like four names yeah there's a lot of names everyone what do you think it's called all right oh we're all gonna say it at the same time what we think it is and see if we're all on the same page hey okay okay one two three movie Hollywood Park Connival World Connival World okay okay Caneva

I think Caneva World is the whole property right yes right and we are focusing on do they put Italy in the name kind of it doesn't say that on the website I'm looking at but I've seen it elsewhere where Italy is in the specific spot and they have a water park and the movie land the Hollywood park

is what we're focusing on yeah which you do now which you just called it but what i decided to say out loud was movie land studios yes i've seen movie land studios somewhere too but i've also seen movie land park um and then i saw a video where there is a a storm trooper people are taking footage with a stormtrooper, and on his stormtrooper uniform, it says movie studios in the same font

that we've come to know from this park. So that's the most off. And in general, you know, not to blow our load on this yet, but a stormtrooper character, there is no way they have permission to use absolutely not they can't there is so left and right there's unlicensed music i'm pretty sure like on rides there's full rides that are very much based on properties there's no way they have because the properties are owned by the biggest the entities that we're

ignoring for this month the disney universal set um yeah i i just to give an example of what we're talking about there is a ride here that is like sort of like a big humvee sort of like jeep ride if you imagine the vehicles used on the uh uh kilimanjaro safaris and animal kingdom and i watched some vloggers who toured this park and when they were on that ride that ride was clearly playing the song the call to adventure which is the entry music for islands of adventure oh wow not even taking music from movies but from theme parks from theme parks jeez right so yeah just to give you an idea if you're not looking at the internet the park looks like it has a very familiar like arch i guess you'd call it uh that looks exactly like the entrance to universal studios and yet more plastery and

like the shape is weird it's like the difference between uh you know they go into it in the imagineering documentary how like that golden gate bridge in california adventure was just not it was just two plastic fake lego and there just wasn't the mat like that's that's how kind of everything in this place feels oh yeah this is like this is it truly like feels like you're having one of those like dreams slash nightmares of like you're in universal but it's not right it doesn't feel correct something's wrong and everything feels like fake and you're not really there it's like yeah it's it's strange right on yeah um this uh if i could recommend a video i mean you know i think mike as you're saying if you go to the website you'll get a vibe there's one that that really

helped me that a good summation statement uh i think if you if you look up a video on youtube movieland park 2018 it's the from the user parksmania.it if you just want a little like fly through that helps a lot including just one thing that illuminated for me was um that how much the entrance like you said it's the big universal gate and not only that but it's very much the universal florida main drag like they didn't go you know other weird foreign theme parks like in china have ripped off main street but this is like that that drag that ends in the in the new york facade uh and there's little businesses on the side. And instead of the Today Show Cafe or whatever, I really like this, that there's an ice cream shop in a familiar font. And it says Ice Stone Creamery. I have that, too.

What does that mean? What's an ice stone? Ice stone. An ice cube? Do they cut ice cubes and put them in cones for you? Did you look? Is there a video of it inside the ice stone creamery? I haven't seen a comprehensive review of ice stone creamery, no.

I can look for such, though. I'll look it up, because I wonder if even they had... Because a cold stone, of course, the big draw, even they had because the cold stone of course the big draw which we all love about cold stone is that big cold slab where they make your ice cream concoction i wonder if they even have that in ice stone creamery like is it just copying the name or do they also have a different type of cold stone ice stone i might guess that they don't even have ice cream there again ice stone is like a trick that's like calling crab crab with a k maybe they just have yeah like flavored ice um i'm

gonna text you guys another uh this is a sign from a video i watched of a restaurant that you can find here and their advertisement in the window is just a giant poster that says club sandwich cool one word run to get no space between club and sandwich club sandwich daily fresh yeah uh i was watching a video i was watching i forget which youtube video i was watching a video. I was watching, I forget which YouTube video. I was watching people eating this sandwich, and they were over the moon about it. They loved it. Really? And because I've been in my apartment for a song,

I was like, that looks good. I would love to eat a sandwich in 100 degree heat in the middle of Italy right now. I watched an hour-long video about this park. Like this couple who are vloggers. You can look them up on YouTube. A very pleasant couple. an hour long video about this park, like this couple who are vloggers, the, uh, you can look them up on YouTube. Uh,

a very pleasant couple for, uh, they said they're from Northeast England. I watched the same video. Tom and Stace. Did you watch Tom and Stace? Yes. I also watched Tom and Stace.

Yes. I saw them. I, I liked Tom and Stace and I have to give them credit because so they, this park is in a part of italy called lake uh like garda lake garda lago de garda uh this is not this is the second theme park in the big theme park is called gardaland in lago de garda yes and which seems better yeah they went to both okay uh and i have to they they were pretty good at like as soon as they walked at this park they're like well this is the universal

studios gate so we didn't really read a lot about this park so we're gonna be surprised and gardaland definitely looks more polished but this one definitely looks weirder yeah yeah we i mean we couldn't stay away from this oh wait and we you know we haven't talked about why we landed on this and in fact the entire europe series which was a discovery from mike back in the episode stunt show showdown 2 would you care to remind us what what you found what brought us here to glorious movie land well it was a i was i it was a stunt show in my mind it was really it was a little show based on the movie flash dance which it was a bit unusual uh in the year whatever 20 i forget which video that maybe 2016 2015 was what it was a bit unusual in the year, whatever, 20, I forget which video that, maybe 2016, 2015 was what it was from.

And it was just like one single performer loosely mimicking the dance moves from the movie Flashdance with a small crowd. And that's where I learned what I learned about movie world or movie studio or movie land studios the hollywood the hollywood park uh and we started looking at some of the other rides and immediately we were like oh this this feels like that we would like to look at this look at more of these yeah which now knowing more i think we we totally went the right way because that thing in general is a little encapsulation of what it is a weird like oh so flash dance huh well i guess they just must have struck oddly struck a deal with whoever the distributor is is it mgm or i don't know where make made flash dance uh but okay so they tried to pull the thing out of it

but i don't think so i don't think they have the rights to anything oh yeah i don't think i've ever used at first i was like oh interesting they licensed all this stuff and then i was like wait a minute there's a ride based on a tv show that they don't use the name of the tv show they use the name of the vehicle on the tv show yes yeah although even that hat like it does have did you watch any video of that ride i sure did um it looks it looks awesome i mean yes yeah and you know what this this is why this place got a little bit of press because of this ride oddly i saw an la times article about it sort of shockingly so because this does look good uh what we're talking about is called kit superjet which is a delight to

me i'm a big knight rider fan a big uh hasselhoff fan and um this is a world where i don't know if they actually convey this in the in a video or anything i can't tell because i don't speak italian but i think that they may have overlaid the premise that kit the alive car voiced by william daniels in america that is has uh teleported his presence into a big boat instead which is a funny you know being that the simpsons did night boat which is obviously a night rider parody um so night boat is real here and it's called kit super jet um and the the rides it's interesting because it's it's like the kind of thing you would do if you traveled to a place like with a lake or or that where you'd go near waterfalls

you know this is like a touristy like you know exciting boat ride that you would do and like do a little like hour-long class for and then get your life vest and then you know and then go see some place of beauty it's more akin to like we're going you know mild snorkeling in in hawaii or something um but instead instead where the ride takes you is the okay listeners you know the water world stunt show at universal uh we know with a lick of lagoon and some sets and some stands and it is basically this boat takes you imagine you're going into the water world arena and just doing donuts in it you're not out on the lake on lake garda a legitimately beautiful looking lake that is mere feet away you're just doing donuts in the arena for a different attraction which i

guess they just have to not operate at the same time it's like that's right it's like your buddy stole a boat and he somehow got it into the water world stunt show and you're just gonna like just see what you can do in there for a while there's not like much of a plan you're just gonna he's gonna like kind of try to scare the shit out of you like hey man are you you scared you scared of this what we're doing in here this feels wrong doesn't it and you're like yeah it does please stop we're not supposed to be in this stunt show and then like well wait do you see this and then it's just the same thing you yes already did over and you're like well then you get like, well, then you get, like, more used to it. You're like, this is stupid, but it's not actually that scary.

We've just been going in a circle. It is so bizarre. This experience is so bizarre. You, of course, saw that there is an original video. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Music to my eyes.

There is a pre-ride video that i think come if you i think you get a tape of it after the fact which people posted on youtube um before you go you get a little like you know send off greeting from david hasselhoff himself um which maybe doesn't sound like a big deal because he's like a shady guy who does weird european stuff all the time however it's a big deal for this park because as far as i can tell there's no other instance of an actor of any renown appearing in an attraction in movie land world yeah i didn't see it i i didn't see any other version of this and it took it took a second to find this i found saw it in one a brief glimpse

of it in one video and then i found a slightly better version of it in another he's wearing a don't hassle the hoff shirt yes which i guess rules out him being michael knight his character from knight rider because i guess he is david hasselhoff not which again maybe you're right again that they never licensed Knight Rider because that's NBC Universal right so they just reached out to Hasselhoff and gave him $600 and off they went yeah you

just like somebody came up to him like outside his house and was like hey here's here's a $600 would you just say these words into this camera phone and then he's like yeah alright I'll do then he's like, yeah, all right, I'll do it. He's like, let me just finish wrapping up with the other European film crew

that I'm filming with right now. And then let's, you know, let me, I can only give you 10 minutes because I got five more of these coming later today. He is, he does, yes, he does intros across Europe, I assume for most theme park rides. It's odd. It's, the whole thing is odd because it's a boat like why why did this need to be night rider why is this night rider well because it's a boat

that's doing jumps and stunts and spinning around it doesn't appear i i think the video i watch it doesn't look like there are seat belts in the boat but you do have to put on a life vest. And on top of all that, the arena definitely does, yes, look like the Waterworld Arena. And the show that goes on in there is simultaneously referred to on their website as US Army Stunt Show. But when you pull up a video preview, the logo is changed and says john rambo stunt show so i i'm a little confused so they run shows in here in addition to running a ride through it so that's like i'm so confused it's as if the universal water world show it's like

okay it's water world at three o'clock then we run 20 groups of boats through it and then we do another water world show after maybe i like it now that i'm saying it out loud maybe i actually like this because how cool would it be to ride through water worlds yeah yeah it would be actually. I'm at the atolls. I'm right next to the atolls, baby. But they have more space. I've been told the Waterworld backstage doesn't complete a full circle. Jason, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit how much space is.

I want to drive a fucking motorboat around the Waterworld set. I don't care how small it is. If the Waterworld boat, like if something happens or a piece flies off, it will fly at a six-story office building. Up into a window, yes. Yeah, into a window. The room where I interviewed

to be a tour guide. It was very distraught. I think there was a Waterworld show going on during my interview. And like, it really threw me. If we could take one of those boats, I mean mean i don't know how we would transport it one of the tiny boats you and i drove uh drove around in on the seven seas lagoon in florida if we could take one of those boats into the water world set that would fit better it would fit better and all these places are going to be in dire straits when they open again so i want

these i want weird like that on top of admission you pay you know an awkward amount you pay 18 dollars to put around in a paddle boat at waterway i think they're gonna need it yes more things to do in each ride like in transformers like you can eat like you can eat a meal just like sitting on the side of one of the scenes in transformers and that's an extra upcharge and when you're done when you finish the whole meal optimus prime tells you he's proud of you i'm you have you have cleaned your plate congratulations michael i couldn't be prouder of you I love you You finished an entire family style meal Didn't have to throw out one morsel of it You have not wasted any food

You are my son You are one with the earth And Michael you're right They should have a smaller family size plate for one You were right all along Your opinions are correct you're running a bad business you know since you bring up ideas to gust the you know drum up business for uh parks worldwide uh when they start to reopen i think they should look to movie land the hollywood park

and their policy they're posted on a side policy of wait 30 minutes and we give you back the ticket. So if you wait 30 minutes in line for something, you can come back the next day for free. Hell yeah. They have like a pizza delivery guarantee? Yes. Wow.

Like 30 minutes or your next pizza is free the only thing is i did not really see any lines uh for any of these rides maybe a 10 minute line for them to make that guarantee you know it's almost impossible to wait longer like 30 anything close to 30 minutes because if they were having lines that were 25 minutes that's not a guarantee you would want to make because you're just giving away tickets so they must be confident that these lines are not longer than five to ten minutes consistently they're probably also confident that no one would want to come back the next day you know or yes or you're right all the lines are extremely long sometimes and no one's ever taken them up on this this has never been something that's been cashed in we'll pay you we'll pay you twenty dollars to come back no it's

fine don't worry about it we're good we did the boat we're good i have a kind of a broader theory but you know with that john rambo show is a case study i think you know where it became it was started as john rambo became u.s army stunt show and there's other examples of things like this that had a theme and now don't have a theme and i think maybe that's what's happened to the entire park i think they opened very boldly with a ton of ip and they have slowly stepped them down and i don't know because i there aren't even any google results for this so it's all off the table it never hit the press but what i'm imagining in my head is that they just like yeah let's just see what we can get away with and then as ip owners started bothering them they just pulled them one at a time and some of that theory came from i i thought about busting out uh a very handy tool the way

back machine where you can see what websites used to look like and i found i think this is from this park in 2005 or 2006 let me uh throw it up for you guys to see um look at this frame um there's a lot here and a lot that i don't think that i had i certainly didn't find because none of this has been in the park you know in the 2010s we we talked a little bit about this i think uh on the episode with the stunt shows because i saw a picture that was not this picture but it had it clearly a doc brown in the picture yes there is some and they they push the doc brown presence as far as it would go but let's just call out things as we see him uh doc brown is in this picture and he's standing next to poison ivy from batman and robin the 1980s yes poison ivy there's no mistaking that version of poison ivy it's uma thurman from batman and robin the 1990s very much uma thurman uh yes poison ivy there's no mistaking that

version of poison ivy it's uma thurman from batman and robin with a human face and she is several she is one doc and several stormtroopers away from a joker with a big plastic face whose chin goes down you know below his armpits so you have a plastic joker mixed with real walk around a poison ivy right that's not jack nicholson joker that is like is that brian boland killing joke joker from jason from the graphic novel yeah let me look a little closer it's similar to that that that's an artist it is that's like i had like a i had like a pencil with like a you know an eraser cap with a joker head that's what it it's like it's a it's a plastic eraser head joker that's how generic of a joker it is it is a very generic joker who is who's next

to who's grinding on the joker next to him? She's in a big boa. Cruella de Vil? It's very small, so it's hard to tell, but she might, like, she looks like an alive version of Madam, the puppet of Waylon Flowers. Oh, yeah.

The fancy lady. Ventriloquist doll. Of course. and then you got a ghostbuster singular but not in a bad a really bad looking outfit yeah yeah that's weak the stormtrooper outfits are like perfect

but this ghostbuster looks like he's just got like loose paint clothes like loose birthday party ghostbuster loose. Birthday party Ghostbuster. Yeah. You got a Burton Batman. You got a Zorro. Yeah. You got Blues Brothers.

Blues Brothers. I sent you guys something in the chat. I'm not sure if it went through right. But probably a property that we're all excited to see in this park. You know it. You love it. It's the Academy Award winning film, The Artist. What?

Wait, I missed this? Uh-huh. Standing in front of the poster, two people like dancing, some text in both Italian and English that reads, My heart burns with passion. What if pirates captured both of us? What? Huh?

Hang on, I haven't gotten this up yet. Uh, what if, I can't wrap my head around that phrase at all. What if pirates captured both of us? I was trying to remember, is that one of the cards in the movie? No fact. no human being

has watched the artist since 2012 yeah it is not once been in a dvd player it is not it's not on any streamers none of them bought it once once the once those oscars done, we were done with this film. We're out of there. Yeah. Conversely, I found in the Movie Land Facebook group a number of pictures of not just stormtroopers, but Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Kylo Ren. And I was like, well, surely this is a Halloween event where people can dress up. And I realized, oh oh it appears these were posted in the official Facebook group by the official Facebook group account so um yeah and then of course that other character you want to see at a family amusement park Uma Thurman's the bride from Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill hell yeah two Thurmans twoins how many there is i wonder if

there are more thermins lurking uh what other um the avenger uh you know the other avenger the british avengers uh uh truth about cats and dogs thermin oh there isn't okay at least in a poster

form i saw a wall of posters in this park and right big center was a Gattaca poster. No way. No way. That's a Thurman. Whoa, that's a Thurman. That's a Thurman.

That's a Thurman. There's a room that's a closet that's just a TV playing Letterman's Oscar monologue. He said, Oprah, Uma, Uma, Oprah. That's a Thurman. Oh, my God. a closet that's just a tv playing letterman's oscar monologue he said oprah uma uma oprah that's a thurman oh my god can you imagine if the late shift characters were in this park oh man with that well just like paint over that joker mask they can't use anymore and make it jay yeah just paint flesh colors over it instead of white wow uh um great so yeah they're they're they are just spitting in the face of any sort of copyright law oh and well you know the one that i missed also uh mary poppins and bert yeah and only them only that there's no other disney

i mean maybe a smattering throughout the rest of their history but in this photo i mean isn't that an odd only them you don't go with like donald duck or something yeah i don't there's no rhyme or reason why unless they like did a poll or something and it's like those characters mary poppins is english maybe there's a european for the british for that the british tourists like that yeah maybe this is like weird off-brand halloween costumes and they can reasonably say if disney comes and complains they can say no no no that is uh parasol, madam. And straw hat Phil. These are original creations. We slaved over them.

Yeah, I see what you're saying, that it looks similar. I do see that, but this is a totally different... You have to hear them talk, too. They sound different. Totally different backstory. Are you going to say that it is illegal for a woman to carry a parasol? If so, how many women across this planet will get scorched on a hot day? Disney, this is unreasonable. I would love to see their shady lawyer arguing this with the Disney lawyers.

Look, I don't know what to tell you we can't you can't copyright that jacket that our character that suit jacket that burt wears and mary poppins i can wear it you're gonna sue me you can't sue me the width on the stripes is much different than the width on this burt was it i'm sorry I'm not familiar with the film. If we stay in the Disney area, maybe the funniest ride to talk about is in the photo that I'm looking at. And that is a ride called Hollywood Tower. Yes. Which I'd stumbled on years before and and thought what is this shady shit this is just the most like this this is where like i i certainly would not be comfortable getting on this ride

this seems too at risk of snapping in half yeah i in it look if we if this were in six flags i would say i don't know if i really want to go on hollywood tower if we were in europe i think i would have to do it because we're in europe and it's funny to go on hollywood tower a clear ripoff of the tower of terror down to stealing the twilight zone music and using it on the ride unlicensed twilight zone music yeah unlicensed and the letters get oh this this was an innovation when right before it drops the letters get like askew yeah on the big side oh yes they're gonna tip yeah yeah i think when like inspectors come to the park or something they're like there's a switch and they just turn they're like turn the twilight zone music off we don't want them to notice or like

they hide the Bert and Mary costumes then and they're just like all right we have somebody coming to make sure we're not stealing copyright just turn twilight zone music off and the costumes in the vault yeah they change the names of everything

they just I mean it's it's hard because whether you're in a court or you're a ride safety inspector, you can't really see anything because everyone's just smoking all the time. And then after you're done doing your work of smoking all the time, you take a two-hour lunch and then a three-hour nap, and that's kind of the day. So, like, even if they wanted to prosecute copyright violations like

just goes a little slower there jason how do you not move to italy i you know that's a great question it's like your dream it sounds nice you get those three weeks off everywhere in your those are not even more than that but they will just do a three-week vacation for no reason you get three weeks off a month i think so yeah i think that's italy wide you have worked two hours a day yeah that's a lot of it disney shows up and they're like most likely they're on a vacation so right they probably some so yeah this thing this this ride is how do you would you describe it it like takes you up in a way that's like just a normal drop ride but then it kind of like shoots you out kind of slide like almost like it's like the superman ride at six flags yes where you where you end up on your back

yeah you you start sitting upright but then it you know it's it's like a it's a curve so when you're let out of the attraction you're lying's it's like a it's a curve so when you're let out of the attraction you're lying on your back and have been for a little while yeah and it's the one the vlogger i saw said it was a first generation intimate drop tower which is a ride manufacturer we've talked about before i feel like six flags went on a run where they were putting one of these in every park that you drop and then swing down. I think they've fallen out of fashion. I have not done the Superman at Six Flags.

And Anthony, Gio and I were going to do it the night of Fright Fest, but it was closed, we think. We weren't sure if it was closed. I don't know if we mentioned that. I think we probably touched on it. There was just like almost like a velvet rope in front of the line, and we were like, it's running, but maybe it doesn't have people on it,

and no one was outside to tell you like, hey, this ride isn't working. It'll be back up in an hour. So we were just like, we walked like a little bit into the queue and then we were like we don't see any we don't see anybody i guess it's closed right now and then we walked and did something else but i would have tried to tell we couldn't tell there was no one to let you know and there was no sign that said closed there was just kind of a loose like there

was a loose piece of something it would they may as well have just like uh you know put up uh put a cone in front of the ride and like that'll keep people away you might have gotten on it and then they told you it was closed yeah we would have gotten like halfway up, like halfway up the ride. And someone be like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, get calm down, you guys. What are you doing? I it's so, so shady. And I mean, I don't know if we also properly did it. Just as it is just like it's Trilogy's own theme.

It says Hollywood Tower, but it's like if the tower of terror had no tower around it like there's no there's no building part it's just yeah scaffolding it's like the malibu mer it's like there if they just went the malibu mer is the tower of terror now new sign slap it on your view from behind when you get up to the letters i'm looking at a still of what you see and it's just like pistons and loose wires that you could like unplug the ride if you reached out you could you could hit a button and the cd playing the twilight zone music would eject and you could take the cd out and take it down with you that's probably how you have to change it out this is then you open at the top yeah you that. You can steal the CD at the top of the ride.

It's yours. I saved myself 99 cents on iTunes. And they get really annoyed, obviously, when you figure it out and you do it. Because somebody's got to go back up there and put the new CD in. We've got to burn a new CD. We can't afford that. You think we have 54 cents sitting around. All the music at this park is played off of a CD player from 1998.

It's just all the personal CD players of everyone who works there. That's part of it. If you wanted a job. Early in the day when it opens up, you have ride the hollywood tower set your cd player there plug it in and then hit play like repeat play and then the ride goes and then you can have music on the ride but if like if like the guy doesn't come in and he doesn't have a cd player then the ride's not gonna have any music no sound yeah and if they're skipping it might just like click click click click yeah yeah well before the park even opened that guy had to fly to american parks buy the cds they sell in the gift shops at the exit

and it's like okay we got music we got the music for movie land the hollywood park now put our own label on it with duct tape. Movie Land Originals. Great. You know, this ride itself also, Jason, your defense of it was, well, it's made by this company that we know, and that's correct. But that's because this ride used to be at the West Edmonton Mall in Canada, which has a theme park that I'd love to talk about. Or I forget if they still do. Galaxy Land or Fantasy Land. It was was called one now it's the other um and that's not the only ride where that's the case because um again in a like stepping it down uh you know situation they had a tomb raider ride that now is called something generic and this is the tomb raider ride at king's island ohio it's the literal one that i went on uh in in like 2005 without knowing what it was and it

scared the shit out of me it was like way beyond my ride depths um they just bought that from ohio kept the tomb raider theme but didn't build a building around it again because that was an indoor ride, which is why I didn't know what it was. So they just took it, plopped it outside. Eventually, somebody complained about Tomb Raider. All right, so it's, you know, Cave Lady. And there it still sits. Wow. I am always, I would love to see a chart.

This is just, maybe we do this one day of like, I want to see the different rides that have moved because that happens, seems to happen a lot where like they dismantle a roller coaster or something like a drop like this and then they move it somewhere else. And I would love to see like the chart of what rides have rides moved like three times have moved like four like it's interesting let's move them what's the what's the most um uh military brat equivalent of a ride it's in a new city every year yeah sad the ride can't make friends with other rides yeah it's hard it's a tough life um so yeah this is a very strange ride there's just so much to get to um should we we could talk about another ripoff i mean well there's a lot there's a lot but maybe um we could talk a little about terminator 5d did we learn about terminator 5d yes uh. Yes, that is not there right now. Not there anymore. It was for a long time.

This is like if you tried to do T2 3D in your backyard. Like if an enterprising haunted house owner tried to make Terminator 2 3D with all the steps, with a video at the beginning that gets interrupted and there's like a lady talking over it, a Kimberly Duncan-esque person. But in the pre-show that I found, it's not Cyberdyne. Well, there is Cyberdyne exists within within this but they spell it with an i like like eating dining cyberdine and then the video that they play isn't of cyberdine stuff it's of arnold schwarzenegger on the set of t2 3d and they show that in that's what their pre-show is and he's dubbed over as was hasseloff by the way they have the american actors and then just don't let them they're never you never hear their actual voice so arnold might

be dubbed with like movie land my favorite park i always visit when i'm uh when i find myself in italy and i in fact i hate universal studios and i only work for them for the paycheck like is the footage like public domain footage so that they can show arnold legally it can't it can't be unless there's weird rules because it's another country right is there is that the loophole or have they again have they never gotten away with this and just as soon as anybody asks they go uh never mind um just put a tarp over it and it was never there it feels like they're getting away it feels like they've gotten away with a lot i could i was trying to find there's no information uh for some reason journalists have ignored the movie land studios controversy yeah and arnold keeps showing well first off yeah scott you said, it's like they try to do T2 in a backyard, but also where it bought a bunch of scrap metal and tried to recreate the backdraft set and then had some very janky versions of like the Minion Mayhem vehicles.

Like there is so much going on in this and also actors. There are live actors. Yes, who drive in on motorcycles, very much like T2 3D. But everyone who's seen it, picture T2 3D in your head and picture how far away the motorcycle is. Now picture that motorcycle driving into your living room. And that's basically this thing. Everything is very close. The stunt shows are very close to the audience in both of the parks in uh lake garda it is like a simile of european cities

where everything is very close together and that's a little unnerving with massive rides yeah there's a thing like um the the um it was in paris and disney where the lights motors action stunt show like a very car oriented show but it's it's in like an alley like jammed in a little like al fresco courtyard where cars spin around and get lit on fire and um you uh there's a clip from the terminator 2 5d uh on on youtube and there's a scene where i'm looking at the audience and they're getting blasted in the face with fog they're just getting nailed like like it feels like it would hurt it would feel like you were getting pelted with like hail it's like it looks so forceful it's like any you know it's like uh it's the

universal water thing but it's like fog and it's aggressive i i should send this to you unless maybe you saw this uh yeah well yeah share the screen please yeah it i another weird thing about this is that i think it was open for a while just as terminator 2 or some other name and it was just a miniature version and by the way with like up on the video screen there is video of like they made a janky their own version of the T1 Milliot with their own bad CGI um oh yes Mike yeah let's see what we got this is from 2010

um oh no see that again it goes from 0 to 100 full fog penetration in one second Jesus it's like

it's like people have fire fire extinguishers they're just shooting it in your face from two feet away well they're just collecting the cigarette smoke from the restaurant next door and blasting the audience oh they're recycling the cigarette smoke they're recycling the cigarette smoke

I will say one thing I like about that show, Arnold, the Terminator gets lowered into the molten metal. He gets lowered into a vat at the end. Yes, yes. That is a cool thing that maybe should have been done in T2 3D. That's pretty cool to see live. Yeah, absolutely.

Then for some reason, they redid this and made it it you didn't think there was enough going on jason they just now they gave everybody little laser guns like buzz lightyear and now there's no live actors but it's just the robots who come up and you just fire lasers at it there's just walls of adults and children all firing lasers at the show. Is this Android? Is that what it's called now? No, that's something different. I think they redid Terminator to be a shooting gallery.

Yes, it looks like it was first this weird show, then they just added guns to the ride. And that's a different thing than Android, which is what you're talking about, which is a mix of Terminator and Transformers.'s a 3d like a like a minion mayhem 3d movie and but then the robot they have outside on the top of the sign of android looks like chappy looks like the chappy for the movie chappy a movie i've never, but I know the unpleasant fact that the robot gets molested at some point.

Oh, my God. What? Yes. No! That happens at Chappy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's going to make it a dark day when eventually, during quarantine, we all inevitably make it to Chappy Day.

Ah, shit. We're out of things. That's Chappy Day. We all have about five movies left. I did watch, maybe the best thing I've watched so far in quarantine is that I watched the movie Unstoppable

about a runaway train. Denzel Washington? Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. Yeah, yeah. And the supporting cast is like Kevin Corrigan and Rosario Dawson and this other guy who's in a bunch of stuff. And I had a great, that was just so fun. I don't know why.

It was just so chaotic. The train roars like a monster. And I don't know. Everyone just seemed like they were having a, it's Tony Scott. He's made some fun movies. Oh, yeah. So check out, folks, check out Unstoppable, a movie i cannot believe is not represented yeah at movie land the hollywood park send them an email and see if you could maybe give them an

idea for just like rebranding one of their trains unstoppable yeah ciao bella uh you all love trains in europe i know this for certain which they could maybe get away with because the way is the word generic enough i think that's partially how they do this like you can't what are you going to tell me i can't say the word unstoppable right android 3d i can say android it doesn't matter you don't no one owns that word um there's a similar similarly to that one of the main bullet points when i was researching this place was oh that's weird there is an attraction based on u571 the uh you know the submarine film with uh Matthew McConaughey, I guess, and John Bon Jovi, seemingly.

So, that's odd. Still less odd than that the Disney Studios Park in Paris has a it's a backlot to where you see a little scene from this Christian Bale movie. Is it Rain of Fire? Do you guys know this thing? Oh, I know your job. Yeah, I think you're right.

Yeah. The shadiest, rain of fire do you guys know this thing oh i know yeah yeah i think you're right yeah i just like the shadiest like what yeah what can we get our hands on what like what like you know like barely released robert de niro film from 2012 is up for grabs why didn't they go with K-19, The Widowmaker? That feels like a bigger... Isn't there something like straight to video, hunt to red October 2? There's gotta be. Yeah, there's gotta be.

Sounds right. But anyway, but as I dug into it, I'm like, this is the one that's most on the line for me, where I think it's possible that they made a deal with the filmmakers and studio behind U571. And I say that because the font is sort of correct. Sometimes, because not all, I saw other ones where it's for sure not the font from a poster I saw in passing 20 years ago. But I, again, maybe they're just like you can't own those that letter and those numbers you guys i can't use the numbers 571 some a submarine is not like the batmobile there's

plenty of different kinds of submarines yes no one owns the ip of submarines you can't own an ocean get out of here jonathan mostow director of u571 oh we knew his name there was no need to go over that we all know it um this ride this this this i will say from what i saw seems like better than other experiences and a little bit but yet here in coronavirus times and this being italy which had the virus very hard i'm like maybe this is where the virus started this sucks this is like you imagine that like just imagine your couch being like having room for 20 people and then that same couch gets put two feet in front of you. And then that's all in a big tube. And that tube is like tipped over a bunch of times.

That's this ride. It's the most claustrophobic. There'd be no worse place to be in the current world than inside this ride. And the park is open, we should say right now. We're recording this a couple weeks before it comes out. The park is open. Is this ride open? This feels like the worst ride to have open right now we're recording this a couple weeks before it comes out park is open is this ride open this feels like the worst ride to have open right now i think it can't be unless they're only letting in one person at a time yeah now according to the movie land whatever the hell

it's called movie land website uh they say unforgettable emotions in total safety. That's their sort of brand they're going with right now. I would hope they don't open this thing. Unforgettable emotions in total safety. Yeah. I tried not to spend all day yesterday just screen grabbing the whole website

and going like, wow, these translations are weird but ah there's just so much the guardaland website hired a translator much cleaner this website was just so excited to tell us about these rides they did not do an edit on the descriptions of this stuff yeah it's the best i you know i. You can't. It's sometimes not these places faults that the bizarre translations. But man, does it result in the craziest sentences you've ever seen? You don't you don't think there's like I do wonder what the Italian equivalent is of the show titled Total Candy Jacket. Sorry, Full Candy Jacket.

Full Candy Jacket. Full Candy Jacket, which seems like a play on full candy jacket full candy jacket full candy jacket which seems like a play on full metal jacket i think you're correct we found this in the when we talked about this the first time when mike brought that thing to our attention um which i watched and you know it's what they do that christina aguilera candy man there's not a lot going on the only thing i thought was odd and i'll screen share here um i didn't know drew tarver was doing uh italian theme park theater you know he's got he's always got a lot of irons in the fire you know he's an eye demand it's super funny guy yeah i know yeah he's hustling that's great um or it's's an Italian cousin or something. A long lost Italian cousin.

Yeah. If Drew is at a... If there's a cousin Drew's been looking for, here's a clue. There is... There's European pop culture stuff. There's a ride based on the Italian comic book character Diabolic.

Diabolique? See, I always thought it was diabolique i see i i always thought it was di diabolique and then i went and found the trailer from the the mario bava like 60s uh diabolique movie and they called him diabolic so oh interesting hard to tell um this is like a very popular italian comics character he's kind of a thief he um was very clearly the basis for a a more recent in the last 20 years x-men character whose name is escaping me right now mike do you know it's off the top of your head yes phantom x we've we've talked about phantom x on the show before yeah and and then also walking around is like a walk around asterix and obelix for the french viking comic book characters uh there's a whole perk of them

somewhere right because that came up in our research they still might be unlicensed they still might be unlicensed i it's it's hard to say i i don't know how you would do a very good or a very bad asterix in the obelisk. Diabolic might be the only one that's official. It seems as licensed as a Six Flags property. And the coaster seems fine, right? Like, if you only were looking at that coaster and that branding, you might go, Okay, right on. Popular European character. They did it right.

Just don't look anywhere else in the park. Right. I mean, I have to say, the thing that upset me the most was the off-brand Flintstones. Like, there's some weird Flintstone stuff in this park. Those big statues look really sad. They look

like they need to be put out of their misery. Very bad. There's a kiddie coaster called bronto ring that i just call long dino because it's very clearly dino but he's like too long you sit in his body like i just don't care for it you don't care for that he's too long you don't like it that he's too long you want more accurate yeah it's just it's just too long and and it seems like it goes slow enough that the couple recording footage on it we're having a normal volume conversation while they're going up and

down the little hills talking about taxes yeah getting work done uh is it too early to talk about the original characters no i'm not even sure what to who you refer oh you of course i'm talking about movie and the character who i assume is the official mascot of uh movie land is he the guy with kind of a rectangle head he looks he looks a lot he seems very like uh an olymp. Yes, he's got like orange boots, orange gloves. He's got kind of a singlet on. And he has, I assume, a TV-shaped head. That's what it's like mimicking, maybe. And his name is M-O-V-Y-A-N.

Wait, you know what? I take this back. His name is actually just movie. They did not put a space between the word and and movie. I thought his name was movie and, but his name is not movie and. It is just movie, M-O-V-Y. They needed to put a space after that. You thought this guy's name, because of their typo, that it's movie and,

which you've been trying to wrap your head around for 24 hours. Would that have made any less sense, real or more sense? Oh no, it seems totally in the character of this. Relatedly, there's been a video on their YouTube channel for four years for Christmas. A video following around the uh the beloved character sant claus guys check the spelling clause sant wow he's trying to grow up like ricky schroeder sorry it's sant claus now uh but movie and though as i will keep moving and is how we have to now refer to him but it

is clearly movie m-o-v-y because here's how here's the two different ways you would read this sentence here's the first one hi this is how i thought hi my name is movie and i am here to help you choose help you to choose the best ticket for you or hi my name is movie and i am here to help you choose help you to choose the best ticket for you or hi my name is movie and i am here to help you to choose the best ticket for you i kind of like the first one better yeah he's movie and we're missing a comma too in the first version but i assume there was just missing a comma it's like it's possibilities what movie and like movies and what or movie and what movie and club sandwich movie and pack of cigarettes when you go out on a date if you're going to see a movie on a date you're going a movie and romance we'll see movie and chill

yeah that was uncomfortable the two of you did it so i had to do it the prospect of a romantic evening i haven't been single since the netflix and chill with i haven't been single in the age of netflix whatsoever so i've never when you were last single you would have to after the movie was done put it in an envelope and put it out at the mailbox for the mailman we were aaron and i got together on flickster yes movie and return it in the mail so what is movie and uh um tell us uh what you can surmise about his character well he's mostly here to help you purchase tickets movie and is part of all of like the the main like uh

logo on the website yeah yeah i i think he's in some shows i think he's in some of the kid shows oh yeah oh really? I missed that. It seemed like there's a walk-around version of him. If you look under shows, I feel like he's in a couple of those pictures. There is so much content on this

website and on YouTube. It's almost impossible to... Let's see here. Sort of headache-inducing, with all of the misspellings and the bizarre translations and not being sure what the name of it is. And again, seems like zero seatbelts.

There are two attractions we haven't really... The Magma 2.1 in Pangea, and one is the giant Jeep ride I was talking about earlier, like Kilimanjaro Safaris. And then Pangea, it seems the giant uh jeep ride I was talking about earlier like Kilimanjaro safaris and then Pangea it seems like that is a car and it seems like that is partially controlled remotely but also one of your guests are kind of driving it at some points like and it just looks like a modified jeep wrangler yeah they're the video Jason that we watched the of the two bloggers

and I can't think of what their names are help me out here John and Stace John and Stace, Stace went on the Tollywood Tower ride and she kept over and over saying that she's like they didn't check to make sure I was in okay like she kept saying over and over again that she felt unsafe

as the ride was starting because no one had like done that usual double check to make sure you're strapped in. Yeah. Also, don't breeze past the fact that that ride is called Magma 2.1. Yes. What does that mean?

Is that like a Richter scale measurement? Because if so, that's very small. I'm not worried about a 2.1. No, but is a 2.1 volcano eruption different than a 2. scale measurement? Because if so, that's very small. I'm not worried about a 2.1. No, but is a 2.1 volcano eruption different than a 2.1 earthquake? Well, but it's kind of like it has a catastrophe canyon kind

of scene. It has an earthquake kind of scene. Like that's what that ride is. And then the other one is essentially you drive through different manicured areas with dinosaurs that move a little. So one is clearly like studio touring and one is essentially you drive through different manicured areas with dinosaurs that move a little so one is clearly like studio torii and one is clearly more like jurassic parky it's uh you know just like a trip into the world of the dinosaurs where you you go and it culminates in seeing a t-rex

um who is hovering over a triceratops about to eat it because it's already injured. And which you can tell because of its exposed bone, it's just like a, it's like a truly grizzly. Like if you saw that on a person, you'd never forget it. You'd be scarred. Aren't there intestines also showing? And the T-Rex is chewing on like a red flap of paper that never goes away.

It's like hanging out of his mouth. There's like entrails loose from this poor dinosaur. It's what the Verhoeven Disney dinosaur would have been. They based it on his concept art. Speaking of safety, maybe that could take us into a ride again another step down and this one's recent this is since i started doing the research about this because a couple months ago um okay so i just checked the website today and this ride is called panorama tram but a month ago or less, it was called Back to the Backstage. And which when I found it was that's just written in a regular font.

But several years back from that, it was written clearly in the Back to the Future font. And you would go on this ride and the Back to the future music played and there's a video with a doc just like a guy in a wig um and he's got like next to him the little you know where where you're going where you've been like like the you know the console of the the delorean um but okay so so we know Back to the Future, the ride, that's where you time travel, you know, because it's a time travel movie. What do you do in Back to the Backstage? You ride a very narrow monorail

around the backstage of all of the other rides in the park. And Doc talks about what he thinks the rides might be. So he's like, U-571, huh? A submarine? Looks pretty crazy.

I wonder what it'd be like to be on that. I missed this. What? Why? Yeah, I almost did, too. I was down to the wire finding back to the backstage um what and then you're like so but then why is he only talking about just like what the rides are and you think that's all it is but then occasionally he'll direct something to marty even though there's no representation of

marty anywhere he's talking to us as far as i know and then you know he'll he'll refer to biff having caused trouble and my favorite is when he said when doc says the line i am the great doc i am the great doc well and this is also like it's just a slightly elevated monorail that like a lot of six flags and like gardaland had one it has one of these hershey park has one of these uh unlike those this one collapsed a little just a baby little collapse last year it just seemed there was some injuries i don't think anyone died yeah the whole thing just fell it toppled over yeah it's just a little baby collapse it's like onto a lawn this video you can watch if it's all like there's a little you know it's a stretch of grass if you're gonna if your ride is gonna fall anywhere is the safest place for it to happen so somewhere in fixing that up they also

bailed on the great dock um and then you know like they're playing the music. When you come back around and the ride's over, you see a DeLorean, something we were just talking about in an episode. How do you just get a DeLorean and then put a bunch of wires on it? And like, great. And people buy it. There's people taking pictures in front of this thing. This is not from the movie. This DeLorean has no significant. This metal and these wires added have nothing to do with Back to the Future.

Okay, here's another theory I have that I'm formulating right now. Because there's a show, I don't know, are you familiar with the show they do called Choice of a New Generation? Yeah. Choice of a New Generation features Marty McFly and the DeLorean pretty heavily. Okay, yeah. Maybe the properties are almost kind of like a shell game, where if you keep moving things around legally, you can kind of skirt around. So maybe Universal catches wind that they're using the Great Dock on a ride, and they say, well, let's sue them.

Let's get rid of it. And as soon as they catch wind that they're going to get sued, let's move it to choice of new generation. Choice of a new generation. Maybe there's something to that where if you just keep kind of shuffling things around, you can legally kind of skirt these issues. So, like, for a while, that outdoor show was Doc Brown U.S. Army Stunt Show. Yeah. was doc brown u.s army stunt show yeah they could they claim that all the soldiers you're seeing

firing rifles were all the invention of doc brown right he armed all those soldiers just that far off from like original doc who is like you know working with terrorist groups and stealing he was corrupt yeah yeah i just having just re-watched the movie i mean i'm sure there's been plenty of observation on this point but yeah boy just like stealing plutonium from terrorists that is so funny to put that in a movie yeah that is such a crazy choice and then the mean concerned principal who thinks that he should focus on school and not hang out with a yeah an old man stealing a disgraced inventor there's the stories and there is a script that like doc and marty sat around smoking weed a lot more and selling bootleg VHS tapes.

That got smoothed out a little. Yeah. They had a band together. That's why they met. But like, yeah. They're called penny stocks, man. We could be rich. Like, once Universal threatens to sue over choice of a new generation

live show then doc and marty will move to like android it'll be like doc's android or marty marty's android or yeah now uh yeah marty is enlisted with the full candy jacket right yes yeah it's just it's just shuffling things around. Just keep sliding them. I want to know, in terms of copyright infringement, the Horror House, 600 Seconds of Fear,

again, that branding is implying it's a 10-minute long haunted house, which would make it twice as long as any Horror Nights house. Has The Exorcist and Freddy Krueger and all of these scenes. No cameras allowed in there also. No, but I did.

I found one. Oh, you did? I found one walkthrough, and it's very dark. Of course, it's a haunted house. But also, this might take 10 minutes because it appears to be a haunted house that is mostly long, empty hallways with maybe eight scare actors.

Sorry because it's dark and empty. All portraying IP, though, right? It seems like, yeah, there might be one or two generic zombies, but on the signs, it's, like, leather face, and there was a Freddy Krueger walking around. There's the bedroom with Linda Blair's character. Oh, my God.

When the inspectors come, all the, like, Doc Brown hides out in that house of horrors. With this leather face mask on. Also, they, like, a lot of times of time this is those long hallways are also the offices where they those are the like internal offices of the park so if there's like a meeting at four o'clock house of horror has to go on hold for half an hour yes well and if inspectors come by of course they can always reach out for help to the master thief, Diabolic, to distract them and fool them. The show, I will say just real quick, the choice of a new generation show features Marty McFly and Michael Jackson.

And the Terminator and Rocky. And the Terminator and Rocky. And the Terminator and Rocky. So the new generation chose characters that stars from the 1980s. Choice of a pretty old generation at this point. That was not long ago. Yeah, Rocky is an older film. I don't know. Well, if that's...

That refers to the choice not but the new generation is choosing that old generation of stuff we can't control their choice they said no to new stuff and we know it's a pepsi park it's a park that serves pepsi so it is the pepsi generation they they've made their choice which again maybe maybe it's not pepsi maybe it's uh or they like stole it maybe they wait for pepsi trucks to like fly off the road and uh tip over they go spikes on the road and then the pepsi truck runs over and then like doc brown and mary poppins run out and steal all the Pepsi from the back of the truck and they bring it into the park. Get the Pepsi.

Get his cigarettes. Get it. They send out minion costumes, which secretly have tanks inside, like attached with hoses. And then somebody's got to like, what do you call with gas, like huffing it, like a siphoning. Oh, siphoning oh they've got a siphon loose pepsi into a minion suit before it dries onto the pavement that's the biggest surprise that there's not off-brand minions in this no no no there is there is there's like wide minions or five eyes or i i don't know they're bold enough to just do the real things it's just them it's them just poorly made i yes no no don't worry they covered that too also like here's a confusing mashup that there's not just the Knight Rider presence with Kit Superjet, there's also a kid's ride called Kit Mini Jet.

And those are little boats that you drive around. And so they're Kit, but also they have eyes on the windshield like the cars. Yeah, they look like cars. They look like boats that are the Disney cars. Yes. And I don't think there's a Hasselhoff video for that ride. I don't believe so. No, you're right. And a three-year-old doesn't know Hasselhoff video for that right I don't believe so no you're right and you know a three year old doesn't know

Hasselhoff yet unfortunately you don't think in Europe they teach kids at an early age who Mr. Hasselhoff is that's true maybe in like Germany and Austria and obviously I will teach my son that'll be one of the first things made all these really schlocky music videos dude it's so funny

you're playing his records for him, right? To calm him? Oh yeah, I'm already playing Get In My Car. What's that? Do you remember that song? Jump in my car. I wanna take you home. He's the best.

I haven't said my son's name. Hasselhoff here. Hasselhoff. Maybe I'll make his middle name and in the hasselhoff similarly uh similarly so there's so there's a little cars kind of ride but then also a different one in what has to be mater inspired but that leads you to the disturbing name name cooters rodeo oh god is that route 66 get on board real cars and drive on route 66 maybe but i also saw it as cooters unless these are different rides yeah they are different rides they are different rides okay cooter is mater right Cooter, like Cooter is a knockoff Mater? I guess. I don't

know if you see Cooter, though. That's an original, that's a Movie Land original IP, I assume. One of many. They have dozens and dozens. Why don't we close out the park so that we can move on to outside the park

because there's a lot. We're so excited for outside. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we can just get to outside the park because there's so excited for outside yeah yeah I mean we can just get to it is there anything else hold on hold on phantasmic do you know what I'm talking about what no there is a child's

haunted house that is very Disney inspired because it has like cute little songs and projections i'll be honest i like phantasmic oh maybe it's phantasmic i don't know how to pronounce it i and he is a little character a little poorly designed character let me send this picture to you right now it's one of my favorite logos from the uh park one of my favorite pictures he looks like he's in agony phantasmic looks like he's in pure hell he's living in hell there's constantly ghosts haunting him he's got a child equally as scared behind him with a

flashlight uh and let me just so yeah so you walk through this little walkthrough attraction and there's like a nice there's little fun little songs and stuff. And it's obviously the budget isn't very high, but, you know, they did what they could. And I bet I would like it as a kid. Let me show you, send you one picture from the website that I think really sums up the budget on this ride. Here we go. You're receiving it now.

It is a picture of a slide. Slide. Basic slide. you're receiving it now it is a picture of a slide slide basic slide just a slide with like a net under it and like it's like it looks like somebody put a slide in a warehouse like a warehouse with like some slightly fun colors in the back they could put up colored lights and that's it. Yeah. So. Huh. And this is what makes Fantasmic, the green ghost, that scared? Yeah. And now on the website it says Fantasmic, where a fright makes you happy.

So children discover Fantasmic's house, where even a fright makes you happy. To you parents, if you don't feel like entering, in the meantime you can enjoy a good coffee what are you waiting for exclamation point not question mark what are you waiting for as a command real okay it's real tiny puppets wives oh imagine my delight i mean i'll read one when we get outside but there's so many of them like

this one i don't know much about the show medusa but uh you know they're uh in a greek archaeological site among ancient mysteries twists and special effects you will become the protagonists of an incredible discovery protagonist of a discovery the human and divine have never been so close what will be the consequences? And then my favorite is a show. Again, is that typo? The show is called 3X Story Factor. And the description of it is a musical game where there are two groups of little singers.

Are you ready to win a talent show battle? That's so strange um I sent you guys yesterday the picture the route 66 the little kid driving ride there's just a sign in the background behind this smiling child that just says Dr. Movie and I can't

even begin to fathom what Dr. Movie is about but I love it I love that sign i yeah it kind of it does kind of look like the dr pepper logo so why does this kid have a pacifier he's like eight years old yes there's an old child with a pacifier and then a smiling like perfectly coiffed hair child driving i think that pacifier is photoshopped in there, because it's like slightly below his lip. Something's

really wrong with this. Maybe Dr. Movie isn't a soda. It's like a sweet pacifier. It's like covered in sugar. This kid's sucking on a doctor movie i would like a doctor movie right now yeah it sounds pretty good um speaking of great snacks in the park um this is

going to require a screen share um this is for and let me credit the website because it's a pretty specific uh this guy's blog pirouettes.org um who had a pretty tough time on a roller coaster called bronto jet and i liked the way i liked his write-up of that where he concluded it with bronto jet you are the fuck boy of the coaster world i'm sure what that means but i i like it a lot um but anyway look at this crazy snack uh only at maybe it's not only at uh movie land um please enjoy a dakota stick what are we looking at what are we looking at here that looks like a corn dog turned upside down stuck on top of a very large poached egg. Like a cream puff or something. Or like just a roll with,

um, you know, seasonings on top, like a slightly, like it's a roll with like flakes of time or like a, like, like bagel toppings. And then like a little like it's kind of a sloppy little puff of tinfoil is this it's i mean like like of course anything of course a

corn dog is a little penisy anyway but this will put on top of a little like puff this is i mean this is the most penisy snack i've ever seen this is like the shaft on top of one giant testicle i'm trying to think if there's anything else that it's more penisy than this uh yeah i know what you're saying you're probably right it's probably the top penis-y treat of all time. I guess if I'm thinking about it, you're probably right. And it looks like he's peeing a stick. Yeah, it's... Passing a stick stone.

It does look like you could teach kids sex ed with this. You could explain to everyone where the vas deferens is using a dakota stick and where the cowper's gland is using a dakota stick this could be a good tool for children for teens but yeah the tinfoil kind of is like where pubic hair would be yeah you had silver pubic hair the pubic hair of the future the dakota stick is the first sex ed tool that you can learn and then eat little treat for bearing with it yeah so i it's i can't look at the dakota stick anymore um also by the way i don't know if you saw under that there you go this they also weighed back in the day had an indiana jones thing oh yeah that's too indie filming set in the film

the indie filming set that meant indie independent that didn't mean indiana jones it's an it's a shooting of an indie film yes well it looks like he shows up in the medusa show that's it so they're shuffling again i'm that's what i'm saying it's a shell game it's a shell game with ip it's you can you can stay out of uh legal problems if you just shuffle everything around and then the the overdrive show is the one where it's like 70s cops on those hard streets of san San Francisco and they're stopping drug dealers and that's the one where it's like you can reach out and slap the cars like you can reach out and high five

the stuntman firing a gun or I guess give him a kiss on both cheeks like I don't do they high five in Italy you could change the air conditioning settings in the car yeah take the cd out of the player just this is the narrowest park so thin there's not enough space for any of this yeah oh boy uh so have we have we covered everything in the park because we're folks buckle up because

we're with what's coming we're not even close to done there's uh yeah no i've worked up an appetite now that we're out of the park and so where do you where do you go what do you like oh the part the park's closed there surely there isn't a district of shopping and fun and dining and shows for me to, you know, there couldn't be because there isn't nearly enough land around here for there to be such a thing. Right? You know what? I think you're incorrect. Oh, boy. Oh, look at that.

Yes, we can cruise right on to sunset boulevard uh folks you're about to hear a little miniature version of a some sunset boulevard saga um it won't require daily episodes because it's not that many things but boys there a lot to talk about and boy is a lot of it like things in the city walk saga yeah um just a few things we mentioned rock star restaurants safari pizza how about that how do you like the sound of that how about a medieval times well you're acting as if i don't have things to say about all of these. I know. I'm just giving. I'm letting the whistle. And don't forget, Mike, one most pertinent to your interest. Of course. I know exactly what you're about to say.

Yep. Yes. Anyone want to say the name? Margarita's Cocktail Bar. That's right. Margarita's Cocktail. What's in that logo what can you guys see the margarita's logo i can't well i don't have oh let me pull it up i know what you're talking about but i just want to make sure we're on the same page here uh is there a plane in the logo there sure is yes wow there's a plane also outside of margarita's cocktail bar

and it is a plane this is a margarita restaurant with a seafaring plane outside yes it is not this plane that is outside uh of the margaritaville restaurant or city walk orlando the hemisphere dancer which real quick yes in case people out there don't know sure was jimmy buffett's plane that was shot at by the jamaican government which is uh an incident that he wrote a song about called jamaica mistaka jim Jimmy was not on the plane. Bono was on the plane. But there was just a big misunderstanding. It was nothing weird going on. Sure. Sure. Well, it's a pretty different story with this plane because with this plane, Jimmy, one day Jimmy Buffett was not on

board this plane and the plane was not shot at by the Jamaamaican government and this incident was not commemorated in a song called jamaica mistaka faka what about what about a faka jamaica mistaka uh yes sure i know that that would also be a good way to frame the song that does not exist about this plane which it has no stories about it uh the jimmy buffett i imagine is very litigious i would have to think with a corporate of the ip this is one of the most egregious yeah yeah yeah in this whole property.

Now, maybe it's just because of my personal connection to the IP I so love, but the logo is exactly the Margaritaville logo. Yeah, does this upset you? Does this make your face hot to see Jim Buffett wrong this way? We make fun. We talk about corporations. We make fun of of them a lot uh and i feel you know it's always good to poke fun at them except for margaritaville

which is a brand i cherish and this just boils my blood to see a company like this just use just take jimmy buffett created liking palm trees and margaritas. He created that. So it sucks that they're just taking what he spent so long building, a brand, and just... People might not even know.

They might see it, and they might get confused, and they're not getting the authentic Margaritaville experience. Well, no, but they're getting a themed terrace with a unique style well that's true now would i go there of course i would go there but i would be a little upset the whole time

you can't take that vibe and put it in a bottle and you especially can't do it just like next to the parking lot all of these places again the narrow space that we have here all of these places, again, the narrow space that we have here, all of the places we just mentioned are all jammed together just right next to where cars pull up, where you do the drop-offs. It's like there's four entire establishments in a space that's one-seventh the size of city block you could you it seems like you could throw your drink and hit a car pretty easily if you were sitting on the terrace here for this restaurant like that's how close it is to vehicles yeah um with with that i start because this was another thing when you started talking about this mike you said because you probably just like quickly looked at the website and you said like yeah and i think there's a medieval times there and i'm like oh interesting and that put like some legitimacy to it in my head and then i started looking at the website and like no no way this is not that

medieval times they just chose a similar font it isn't and i compared the two logos there's no mention of an italy medieval times on the website of the medieval times that we know it's not it and then i and then like somewhere they said how many people they can see at a time and i looked it up and it's a third the size of the buena park one so yet again sorry to be a broken record but like you could be eating and your food could get speared by the like the jousting stick or whatever. You got to watch out for your corn on the cob because a knight might take it accidentally. It is like this.

I mean, in all seriousness, this is truly like theft. Yes. That one's unforgivable. That name is the name of a brand you can't do this and like the crowns and all the outfits it's we're getting off to a good we thought we were just gonna have like a nice european trip and then we've immediately uncovered a world of crime and nefariousness. Like we're having this little like national treasure kind of adventure. Now we have to alert the authorities who I feel like might be out.

Like we're going to end up chased around by knights and androids and the great Doc Brown. Or I agree with what you're saying, but let me let me put this out. We oftentimes talk about taking ip legally obtaining ip that we like that is not being used maybe we follow the movie land playbook just use them just start using it just write a write a script or write a script about marvel mcfay and say fuck it let them come after us yeah yeah and maybe they just like maybe nobody ever catches you i think that's what this thing is this place is indicating right what's the worst you have to you like you know you have a tense conversation with a lawyer and then you blow smoke in their

face and they leave right the best case scenario is nothing ever happened i would like to announce a new podcast that the three of us will be doing called the official medieval times podcast and to try to stop us yeah interviews with the knights who are definitely not us there we got the real guys right marvel mcfay can be like in it or our logo and if someone comes after us we just change his name to like mitchell mcrichardson yeah marvel mcphail be in it batman will be in it wolverine will be in it it doesn't we we have official we're using them now no way that's that's eared man and uh uh scissor fingers we're narrowly avoiding two copyrights with scissor fingers we'll say that and then we'll shuffle batman into the regular podcast the ride uh feed so we'll skirt by

batman will then be a co-host for a couple episodes yeah and then we can trade him to a friend's show or something he'll he'll go hide in action boys for a while and then when the coast is clear he's back he's back where he started on the official medieval times podcast coming soon yeah man this is just so funny this is inspiring it's time to for us to start doing business like the the italian theme parks do or at least this one i've always wanted to write like an X-Men movie or a Ninja Turtles movie. And maybe it's time for me just to officially declare I'm going into production on an X-Men movie right now. And I don't care.

I don't own it. Doesn't matter. I would like to say I'm now officially in pre-production on both an X-Men movie and a Ninja Turtles movie. Yeah. Damn. You're really doing it. People should just pay you money already because you have these properties and not ask any more questions

jason would you like to announce uh going into production on like a dagwood movie or uh yeah it's gonna be like a hope and crosby kind of like buddy travel adventure movie and it stars dagwood and mickey mouse and they're friends and they're like stuck in egypt they're like tour group left without them and they have to get back to uh toontown and um who else is in there like bugs bunny um asterix and Obelisk um Wimpy uh Wimpy uh the the Michelin Man and um

oh whatever the Nike Swoosh the Nike Swoosh is in there and he's got big eyes yeah and he talks he's super cool he's really slick and it's sometimes the whole gang just drives up and watches neil young perform his most famous songs for 15 minutes or you know and you go to led zeppelin um it's it's all in the up and up yeah and of course they all

ride in the ecto one right of course yeah wow this sounds like a hit this sounds like the spiritual air to ready player one I think so yeah I'm go congratulations on pre-production Jason oh thank you congratulations to pre-production on you to both on your respective projects

yeah I'm doing a joint biopic of the Rolling Stones it's part Rolling Stones biopic and part uh a new dick tracy it's it's a film that is both of these things at one time it's just gonna be tricky math to do his ones in the 40s and ones you know all through the 20th century but um you know it'll sort of you know actually they don't marry it's just they just alternate scenes because you get bored with a movie having the same plot so you know every

five minutes it changes yeah just quick bites kind of one of the other well it's very exciting and i encourage all the listeners to just go into pre-production on any projects you'd like just start get it moving it doesn't matter this is we've seen the way now at movie world we've seen the way things need to happen this this feels like almost a wrap-up point but i can't not talk about rock star rock and roll restaurant oh yeah yeah yeah and safari a little bit of safari pizza too i don't know much about pizza what can you tell me oh it's a buffet style of the uh grossest pizzas i've ever seen but less gross than the rock star food the rock star food i mean i'm eating some garbage in my time the rock star rock and roll restaurant food is the most disgusting food i

ever seen i i will say safari pizza looks fun as hell i love the look of safari pizza yeah it is uh the wildest place to have dinner that's what it says uh it's got some fun like lion and monkey cartoons and it's got you know like plastic characters around honestly this is one of the best themed things from just the look of it yeah it looks great number one on property i think it's maybe the best thing on property wow wow i mean where else can you get a pizza tot with what appears to be schnitzel and french fries god what is it with the just fried bullshit that's everything at this place yeah like just weird like like little fried balls and i wouldn't even venture a guess what's inside is it cheese is it potato uh is it rice is it just is it just bread i like i it'd be it they're they're

like little easter eggs i don't know what's inside these little just breaded nuggets that are everywhere i can i can list some of the pizzas if you want oh i'd love to hear yes please yeah uh they're all named after uh animals um i'm trying to find a zambesi which i don't know what that is tomato sauce one word mozzarella ham mushrooms artichokes peppers olives pretty good i will say the pizza looks like they didn't really blend the toppings it just looks like they dumped them all in different corners of the pizza. I sent that as a text. I'm now on, oh my God, the Congo River with anchovies on it, with really stringy, long anchovies.

Here is what Jason was referring to. It's called the hakuna patata yes what oh there it is oh tomato sauce mozzarella worstel and french fries the german french fry pizza what are you talking about you know what we're still might be saucy i could be wrong uh schnitzel i think is at the rock and roll restaurant uh i i'm sorry good i know i was just gonna say i again it looks like somebody was carrying a different meal by the pizza and they spilled on the pizza and that's when they got the hakuna patata look at the lake victoria it's just pure sauce it says tomato sauce garlic and then it's just like there's three little like they look like beetles little garlic beetles all having a little meeting in the middle

of the pizza but otherwise they're just they're in a lake of tomato sauce the pizza early named the pizza looks like like you let the you like let your son make a p like a pizza while you were making a pizza and like it doesn't come out right but it was pretty good for him and it doesn't look professionally made i also you know what's weird is the fact that only some of these pizzas are named after animals and pizzas by the way can have ingredients and often do that come from animals which makes it so bizarre

that you can get a hippo pizza which comes with tuna fish crocodile why that has ham it's such a like brain collision and then like there's pop-up ads every two seconds on this thing i can't look at it i just got a big thing with a giraffe that said check out the offers i can't it won't let me pick a pizza. The tropical pizza. And like, I'm trying to eat less meat.

And like, I've never seen grosser looking meat than on this tropical pizza. Do you see what I'm saying here? Thick ass ham. Thick ass ham. I know Jason's a big ham fan. So I don't want to offend you. But Jason, it has been a while, though. Could I trouble you for a certain catchphrase oh oh ham

in the house yeah i can tell you i haven't bought ham in a while but i can assure you my father texted me the other day uh a picture of recently purchased ham and i went hey look ham in the house so does he know the phrase now well he knows yeah he knows it from us yay oh good oh geez that's a family thing now yeah so recent recent ham purchase recent ham purchase um the elephant why the exotic toppings on the elephant pizza are tomato sauce and mozzarella it is a cheese pizza they call their cheese pizza elephant with no reason and nothing to back it up and just a reminder this park is in italy the country of italy i like forgot that's how we've been on like on this trash island for an hour and a half or whatever let's this is what drove me out of my mind

when I was trapped in that bad mall at Disney Parade. Like, I was just in the most beautiful places I've ever been in my life. And now I'm here, which I think maybe brings us to a question. Could you guys see yourself going to this place? Oh, I want to go tomorrow. I want to see this. Yes. I want to see this. Absolutely. I'm going to go place oh i want to go tomorrow yeah i want to see this yes i want to

see this absolutely i'm kind of there to land i would go here i'm i'm sort of there except i would would need to get out of there i couldn't spend a night maybe i'd love to go but yeah i i need to make sure that's i think a recurring thing because i've asked myself this with all the parks that we're going to go to and often the answer is yes except that so many of them seem like well you have to take a weird bus for five hours like that's where like how how worth it is it to me to go laugh at a hippo pizza well when i could have the great the literal greatest pizza on earth like an hour away you'd really have to break down exactly the time it would take to get to the place if it was some insane thing perhaps i wouldn't go but if it

was an hour away yeah oh yeah you can get a good six hours i mean i'm now i'm dying i'm kind of dying to go on these rides now and beat movie and. Oh my god. I would love to. I would slow dance with Movie And at this point. I would be so excited to see Movie And. And you know, we all want to try the new formula with Great Plates.

The way they advertise Rock and Roll Restaurant, front and center, on their website. New formula with Great Plates. Let me acquaint you with Rock star rock and roll restaurant by again going into a little buppet ease uh become the star with our jukebox choose the soundtrack of the night with the songs that made the history of music a fully themed venue with all the rock and roll vibes and then later on a different thing become the star of the night taste our 12 eat parade huh are you saying hit is eat is it's a eat parade okay all prepared

with fresh ingredients and all the taste of rock unlimited iced drinks and watch out for sweets not a warning you need give jason yeah he doesn't need to watch out hey no i mean i love that they're two big disgusting looking restaurants are like half buffets the buffets with unlimited refills and don't worry the rock star restaurant is definitely not a hard rock cafe never mind the giant pillars uh never mind the design of the building which sure does look like that old hard rock cafe at universal orlando they've since demolished it is it looks exactly like the the fanciest hard rock cafes it and then you go inside and it says like live all serve all or some nonsense on the back like it's the same layout it's the same lettering uh um and then and then of course you got the the guitar outside which

i'm sure you guys saw but just like here with me just look at the quality of the construction of the rock star restaurant guitar it's just like it's like christmas lights stapled to a pole and then the way the like the letters fall off of the star you know what i'm saying like they're like some of it's on the the cardboard star they attach some of it isn't and i this is just one of this is one of the ugliest items I've ever seen. It's like I cut it out of cardboard. Like, it's like I free, like, in my mind, I was like, oh, I know what a guitar looks like. And I cut it out of cardboard and then just pasted it. Like, it looks like very cheap.

Like, yeah, I mean, it sucks. It looks shitty. It looks terrible. And this, by the way, is the first thing you see when you pull up to the the property and if you're coming in for a exciting day at movie land the first thing you see is this like styrofoam guitar where if you crashed into this with your car it would like not even it would tip over and not even make a noise it just would be like a slight little foam puff it might float away honestly the wind might take it into would be like a slight little foam puff it might float away honestly the wind might take it into the air like a balloon yeah it's so light it's so cheap

oh my god and then uh the the items at this place which is it is a so it's a it's an it's an all you can eat restaurant as opposed and you can watch video of this of people again, like choosing from the like, well, I have like a very dry onion ring or a very dry hush puppy or a dry mystery ball. One that I'm staring at, it's called Dance Supreme Chicken. Where I might as well just screen share that you might be looking at. I'm looking at it sure sure we're all looking at we're all salivating at dance supreme chicken so it's like very thin you want you want a piece of chicken to be as thin as possible you want it like just crushed with an iron and then with a patty yeah yeah i think it's chicken schnitzel because it's got a lemon wedge

on top and i believe okay okay jason's always got that eye for schnitzel because it's got a lemon wedge on top and i believe okay okay jason's always got that eye for schnitzel i always got that eye for schnitzel um but it is weird looking it's very odd looking very dry looking and then and then i like this little like jenga tower of fries why do they stack them up that way i really didn't do it for the other dishes uh disco burger or golden disco cheese burger you know what else my favorite is just called kiss kiss dog which i don't know if that's a reference to the band kiss or the term kiss kiss bang bang which is how europeans would describe like james bond movies back in the in the day um hard to tell and then it's like some of it this i feel

like every theme restaurant is this way where like only four of the things have the theme and the theme in this case some of them are rock bands say so just in descending order of well done you've got the red hot chili dog gray good got it makes sense adds up and then right after that rolling stones ribs sort of okay maybe and then that brings you to jackson sandwich jackson sandwich i think is the best one easily jackson which jackson they have to hedge their bets because we don't know what jackson's we contribute at this point marlin or like maybe not even maybe it's maybe Jackson, the judge, the American Idol judge. That's his name, right?

Yeah. Joe Jackson. It's stepping out. It's Joe Jackson. Right. It reminds me of a lot of how one of my favorite bizarre Michael Jackson clips. He's being interviewed by Barbara Walters, and he's very upset about the paparazzi term Jacko. And he doesn't want anyone to call him Jacko anymore and that

leads him to say I'm not Jacko I'm Jackson I'm Jackson I just calling Michael Jackson only Jackson is just giving me a seizure it doesn't make any sense no was that a change?

Was that a change? Was it like Michael Jackson and they were like, well, we better be careful and let's take the Michael off. But we don't want to lose the name because it sells so well. Very upset about these allegations. He has lost the right to have his full name in a sandwich. From now on, it is Jackson Sandwich. People love this very thin lettuce and onion sandwich which is what is that there's eggs on the sandwich

he's been in a panini press this food across the board looks awful it is really i mean rolling stone ribs i thought was the worst one, but as I've been looking at it, the weirdness of the very first one that just says Abba Veggie B, and B is in quotations. I don't know why that's unnerving me so much, but I don't care for it. have to time a trip how about this look i'll go to i'll go to uh what's this place called i forget every time movie land studios movie lay on the hollywood park i this is i think i've said this before i think where my personal kitsch dies is when it comes to food i can view ironically i can have fun ironically i can't eat ironically uhically I would Rather die than eat any so I Need to if I can bring like a cooler With food from real Italy I just can't I can't be here

During a meal that's like It can't be done huh All right well I mean that's That's fine I would argue Though this food even eating it Ironically it's not it doesn't even look Interesting it just looks cheap yeah yeah so i i would approve that plan of yours if you're going to bring a cooler with like authentic italian pasta yeah there might even be like

somebody in the neighborhood which by the way this is this place is like you walk out of rock star rock and roll restaurant and within a hundred feet you're at somebody's house so if i could make a deal with whoever that like probably that person could make me a better sandwich than rock star rock and roll restaurant some old like italian grandmother was like right there and you make a deal with her and she like feeds you probably it'd probably be like the greatest food i've ever had right yeah so if you're going to this park just go knock at her house say podcast the ride sent you and then um hopefully you don't get like shot she doesn't know what that phrase means there's only like three guns in all of italy you know

that's right i think we're gonna get a like there's gonna be a a lot of italian italian penetration when this comes out for our podcast italian penetration i look kiss kiss bang bang same this is now the third or fourth time i've said the word penetration on podcast the ride yeah why why do you keep going to that? For someone so concerned about bodiness. Going mask off in quarantine. This one's... Yes, my whole persona is a lie. Mask off, but face mask on. Yes, thank you.

What if I 180'd? What if I, like, horny heel turned? And it was just a pervert from now on. Just some episode you come in hot and like welcome to podcast the ride where corny guys fuck with cocks whoa hey a horny heel turn scott gerner and jason chardon have left the meeting we check back in on the link just out of curiosity four hours later,

and Mike's just streaming Hardcore Born for no one else. Yeah! Yes! And our listeners, we get like 100 times more listeners. Yeah. Podcast way more successful. All right, now that's enough of that let's get to the bottom of this wayfair

business again we it's a hundred times more popular yeah we're ripping the lid off of the Hollywood pedophile rings uh and everyone look they're kidnapping the kids and all we can do is try to distract from it

by uh you know watching some hot adult porns boy i guess the ride with it well in deference to the new movement that we're all adhering to because we went crazy during quarantine it's uh quad cast the right we replaced the p with a with a q yeah we're all q heads oh yeah we're all q yeah and it's just the libertine it's more relaxed vibe from europe too yeah no it was really the european vacation the european vibe drove us into the arms of we're already yeah we're already getting so much looser just from being around this So I feel like yeah we may

All three of us will have a cigarette next episode And we'll just be a little more Free sexually God What what Next episode We got these zoom cameras on let's do it naked Yeah

And not just sitting in the chairs That's a cop out. Let's stand naked. And listeners, just know the next time you hear us, we're standing up naked, smoking cigarettes. We're recording it at 5 a.m. That's going to be a whole new podcast, The Ride. It would be funny if I came out of this all and I had picked up smoking

like long L&M's like weird ones I don't think it's impossible everybody's losing it we're gonna be the people who went who pretended to go to Europe and came back super pretentious right

well that's what's in progress here so far and I think we're off to a great start i guess i guess i can say you survived uh i i placed one of podcast the rides european vacation uh this is great we're off to a great start um hey wait we should get our uh we should get our passports stamped oh yeah of course yeah here let's let's get it clunk um hey look look at that well it's a fun little design it says italy but then what's that shape there um i think well isn't that oh it's a it's a dakota stick oh oh no oh oh no but Oh, no. Oh, and what better way to remember it? You know what?

I'm comfortable with the Dakota stick. I like it. Wow, a beautiful Dakota stick. I mean, what better way to emblemize the food of Italy than with the famous treat, the Dakota stick? Yeah. Which I was Googling as we were recording, and the first result I found after typing

Dakota Stick Food Italy is that guy's blog. Oh, really? Okay, so there is no order. The internet doesn't want it. The internet of Italy does not want to own up to the Dakota Stick. The internet of Italy. They're trying to keep it secret. Yeah.

Understandably. Well, hey hey that was a blast i think we're off to a fun a fun start a bizarre start i'm glad that we're skewing the usual topics and we're gonna keep doing it so here's how this is gonna work next friday we'll be back in the main feed like always and we'll go elsewhere uh on this uh great continent um but there's gonna be over on uh the uh the second gate on on a couple of these wednesdays we're gonna be doing little uh if you don't want to follow us on the main excursions we're gonna be doing little little day trips little quick side ventures you see and we got one of those coming up on wednesday and i don't want to say where we're going with any of these, other than saying that we're heading to the sea.

So if you want to join us on the sea, near the sea, that's where we're heading. If you want to follow our excursion in general, we'll be posting little maps and stuff, and other fun on the Twitter. But this is, I think we're going to have some fun.'re all we're going on how many people listen to the show we're going on thousands of persons uh tour group together and um let's let's you know everyone stay in one place don't get lost as we we head to our next adventure uh yeah and the show going to get very loose and very comfortable.

That's just what I'd like to say. That's a promise. That's a promise. Loosening up. We're not afraid of being naked, smoking cigarettes, accidentally singeing our genitals with those cigarettes. No, that's fine. We don't fear a thing. Baudiness is to be celebrated.

European Michael is the new way. Yeah, I'm just feeling good. You know? Just feeling good. No, a phrase we've all said a lot in the last two months. Yeah, yeah, I say it. I've been saying it often.

I feel good i i i'm saying it a lot but just but like many many times in a row and also typing it into a typewriter hundreds and hundreds of times whichever way you need to get it out into your yeah into your underwood um uh all right oh you you know what? And one more thing. When we cover entire parks, as we'll be doing, I think it's easy for stuff to fall through the cracks. So if we missed anything about any of these parks, please let us know at podcasttheride at gmail.com.

And we'll make sure that we, you know, we cover anything that we left behind in these places or anything else. Anywhere else we should go in Europe is already clearly we need to do this again. And maybe just live here. This is what the podcast is from now on. Yeah. No more. Is there anything else we should go in Europe? Because already, clearly, we need to do this again. Or maybe just live here. This is what the podcast is from now on. Yeah. No more.

We never go back to Disneyland ever again. No more Disney. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So this is episode one of a new podcast. Hope you're enjoying it. That is simultaneously about, it'll sometimes be about medieval times, sometimes be about porn, and otherwise be about European theme parks.

And we'll be back for more of that next week. Yeah. We'll see you then. All right. What did... Ciao? Ciao. Ciao, Bella.

Ciao, Bella. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.