Podcast: The Ride - Heritage USA

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

Heritage USA was created by Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. Once one of the most popular "parks" in America, it closed in the midst of multiple scandals. Margaritaville Resort Times Square episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever Dog Warning, the following podcast contains religious fudge, massive fraud, big buckets of apocalypse food, and a trip to Heritage USA on today's Divine Podcast The Ride. a most pious post easter to all of you Podcast The Ride, PTR, but today that stands for Praise The Ride. I'm Scott Gairdner, Jason Sheridan, and most pious day to you. I was walking up to your house, and I thought about the PTL, and I was like, oh, that's fine. It's all moved. Hey, Praise The Ride.

It's pretty close. Yeah, yeah. Actually, credit to Erin for that one. She was noting that. Yeah, yeah. PTR, PTL is the organization. Praise the Lord. And we're talking about them today.

First Mike Carlson. Yeah, but Praise the Ride is good. I feel like, you know, we just did a couple live shows that were really great, really fun to do. The audience, very exuberant. But I feel like we should actually start live shows now in a somber way. And everyone should say sort of Praise the Ride. Like we should all be quiet and connect

on a deeper level and uh chant praise the ride well there's there's certain people who might enjoy some some being more somber about things and respecting these things and praising them a little more right there's a phrase that i don't know if you guys have caught this this was just big in my twitter feed last night as we record this, which might not be relevant now. But I guess always there's this type of person, and that is Epcot purists. I know there's a lot of discussion about being an Epcot purist.

Yeah, that's been around a little bit. But I think it was especially around with some new announcements about the Guardians cosmic rewind. At this point, I just don't want to look at construction equipment and walls anymore. I'll just take anything at this point. just don't want to look at construction equipment and walls anymore i'll just take anything at this point yes anything anything real and fun yeah yeah you're like an epcot fundamentalist i guess if you believe that it should it should just be learning i guess

yeah i think needs to come back raytheon needs to return yeah so that's interesting there's different sects of, I guess, Epcot purists. Certain people probably that think that the 90s were good. It's interesting. We should really make, we should figure out how to categorize. And like map it onto religion. Yeah, one of those cube charts, the square charts, like the authoritarian, the libertarian.

Epcot, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah yeah they're never correct what's a sample opinion within that and where do we fall because i feel like we're maybe we're the uh we're the extremist left in a way by even on some people's spectrum by even liking anything new they they ever do right yeah so there's yeah epcot fundamentalists who want it to be basically just this the original and then there's us although i don't know are we so radical i mean we'd like we'd like old stuff we certainly love the old bullshit but i think we're not as upset as maybe people would want us

to be that any of it has ever okay it doesn't keep me up at night that horizons is gone yeah but of course but would i could if i if there was a time machine it's the first place i would go so you gotta give me points for that i think we were also of the age where it's like ah charmed by like rows and rows of free genesis games maybe we don't have at home you know an arcade but free excellent they never should have changed though they never should have changed a single game well shouldn't have updated. Retro video games are very popular right now. They would have a place, I suppose. There is a mall by my dad that lost a number of its anchor stores. Anchor stores is what they call the big department stores.

But does have a new massive arcade and a retro video game store. I think they're giving away leases. Anything that feels confident enough they can fill the space yeah yeah it's good it's good for the round round one the brand that we like like it is a good time for dumb for arcades and trampolines and yeah climbing walls yeah at least they all have somewhere to go yeah yes inflatable inflatables and i guess all those are right so I would praise all of them. Praise the rides. We praise, yes, all of these.

Which is an ironic phrase to use today, because today's topic is a little short on rides for a place that a lot of the retrospectives sure do refer to it as a theme park. Yeah. And that had my head scratching a little i know well it's what it's designation is that definitely led me to say we should do an episode about it but yeah once you start digging in i was like oh yeah they didn't really have any it's more of a resort destination it almost feels like more of the other stuff that Disney World was besides Magic Kingdom. Yeah, the vacation kingdom. All the extra vacation kingdom stuff.

Yeah. Plus prayer. Plus the Ark encounter. Plus a little of... Yeah, just a little bit of that sort of thing. And today's topic, by the way, is Heritage USA, which was the, while we're questioning, theme park, certainly a themed experience, a resort that was set up by Jim and Tammy Faye Baker in the 78, I believe, ran for a decade or so, that was a major religious theme destination.

It's in South Carolina, kind of at the border of north carolina and south carolina but before we get into that really quick i wanted to bring up a couple other things within this realm of because yeah we you know we try to do this of course i like to have these episodes out on good friday which i was taught is supposed to be a day where you sit in our sad i'm trying to bring that energy to the yeah yeah to the to the podcast uh and discuss these christian theme parks and that's what we've done for the last three years. We have kind of a trilogy on our hands. But I feel like, I was wondering if this is maybe the end of this series,

if that does close out a trilogy, because there's not a lot of these left. Like here's a big defunct one we're talking about. We've talked about a few others that did not set the world on fire i feel like christian and religious in general themed experience theme parks it's not a great line of work none of these have been blockbuster runaway successes i would say right um the uh i i keep bringing this up recently so because i i enjoyed it so much but season two of righteous gemstones the park uh their theme

park which is an actual like traditional amusement park in the world of the show does play a pretty big role in this season in some of the storylines in the season but that is an actual theme park amusement park uh in south carolina right it's what's that in south carolina is where they shoot it i believe so i forget the name of it yeah um but but in the world of the show that's an actual amusement park unlike the um uh you know the trilogy which are significantly mostly passion plays yeah i think passion plays at all of them this. Yes, fudge has come up before. Weird. I guess that's the format. You watch a man bleed out on the cross, and then you eat a bunch of fudge.

What a strange combo that some people are into, but not everybody. Not enough to make them work. I just got curious, with the ones that we've talked about before, what's going on? Where are they at now? Because I feel like their situations change a lot. COVID has not been super kind to some of these places. Do you guys know what's up with the first one of these? We covered the Holy land experience.

Oh, I didn't look. I didn't look. I didn't look. I know it was a little iffy. Yeah. Financially and owner wise. I think it was getting iffy already covid really did it in

as opposed universal studios if you can imagine made it through disney world made it through the uh this other orlando um situation did not um and it but i was so baffled by what it is becoming uh it has been fully sold um not owned by trinity which i think owned it before and now it has been bought by a company called advent health which is a faith-based health care system whatever that means big yeah okay um and they are turning the facilities into a hospital okay that's what that's going to be now. Isn't that weird? It's like, from the outside, it's a gold-plated coliseum. It looks really dumb. It looks like the big hard rock concert venue at CityWalk in Orlando, and yet it's going

to somehow become a hospital. Yes. Right. Pretty funny. Ironically, urgent care doctor's offices are another thing filling malls and unused massive spaces across the country. Great. So.

It's a beautiful world, isn't it? Kind of timely. Yeah. It's. Yeah. That's. Oh, man. So, yeah.

Will they just use the existing facility or it's just they're using the land? It doesn't specify? I think there's some. I don't know the layout of the the campus exactly but i think a big building which i'd have to imagine is like the coliseum type thing right will become a bunch of emergency rooms basically but right but i read articles saying specifically that they are going to deconstruct the recreation of jerusalem so jerusalem is being torn down as we speak i guess not deemed medically necessary uh for this new medical campus.

It's really weird. There should be themed hospitals, though, right? That would be fun, at least, to have some theming going on. Some children's hospitals have pretty elaborate. Well, that's true. Disney designed some stuff. Yeah, that's true. I think at the Anaheim Children's Hospital, there's a Turtle Talk with Crush.

Oh, is that right? Yeah. Whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's nice. Wow. Yeah. That's really neat um so yeah so

i mean they should keep some of the stuff around for this hospital is what i'm saying but yeah it doesn't seem like they you're the vibe you're giving me i think is no i feel like no but yeah why not why not take a little trip into the it would make you appreciate the medical care that you're going inside to get if you could walk through an area that showed you what it was like before there were MRIs and all these machines that we have, where the only way to be cured was to be crucified, die, and be risen from the dead

several days later. Old school medicine, they call it. That cure does not work for almost anyone. Children's Hospital of Orange County, yes yes has its own turtle talk with crush that's really neat oh and weird just in the interest of because we always want rides and attractions to be freestanding yeah all over the place that one's pretty cool and i bet very helpful for spirits and stuff wow um other things uh arc is still going and a couple new innovations

at the Ark Encounter. We talked about that last year. They are now charging locals for parking. So that's good innovation. And they are working, they are gathering the funds. They are asking, of course,

regular people for the funds. Even though they make millions a year, it is regular people who need to fund their new endeavor which is a tower of babel attraction they've been talking about the tower of babel for so long they've been trying to get that off the ground that is like the um uh at seuss landing at islands of adventure that thing that the circus mcgurk the or the the trolley in the sky like where it's just like it was going around with no one in it for years and everyone's like when is that gonna open yes the only difference being that no one is asking that about the tower

except me except for except for you and ken ham himself yeah when's the tower gonna be done if you didn't hear that last year i think the least charismatic man in themed entertainment we've ever come across, and one of the most unpleasant places we've ever come across. And this will, if you weren't excited, Jason, already for the Tower of Babel, just know this literal quote about what they're going to do, that it's so important to build it

because this is their way to tackle the racism issue. Oh, no. Oh, oh yeah i'm sure that's gonna be what does that mean i don't yeah i don't even know what it looks like i yes i don't want to know i don't know i don't want to know their definition their definition of tackling yeah um i was thinking about this too and i don't want to get too i mean everybody i know is waiting to hear about heritage so they don't want us to delay any further. Any more time than we need to. Just thinking of the Bible and everything, and Christianity as IP, thinking of it as,

you know, like the Marvel Universe or something. Yeah, it is. It is. It has characters. We grew up with them. Yeah, our religion is Epcot, and some people's religion is christianity uh so but it's like no one has done i feel like the big like e-ticket level christian rides like there's still like the problem i think what you're saying and none of this stuff is flourishing uh a lot of it's closing

or closed you know nobody has gotten ambitious and actually put the fun in to the christianity because they want it i think they want it to be lessons learned and fundamentalist exactly the ark the ark there's like rooms on the ark encounter which we talked about last year where it's like come in here for the cute animals that were on the ark no they weren't cute they were real animals there was no fun there's no disney animals in here and you're like well hold on a second if you're a kid you're out your your brain is out you know yes yeah which oddly i think today's topic heritage was less aggro right on that front i think they were more okay with the idea that

any children could have any modicum of fun right they were more okay with the idea that any children could have any modicum of fun. They were more on the money and the other ones have gotten it worse and worse as time has gone on. Let me say this really quick though because I have one more thing because I was like,

are there any left? Is there anything we can talk about next year? And I don't know if this would be the fuel for a full episode, but I was very interested to learn about it um in the town of carthage missouri i don't think we've ever talked about anything in missouri already that name is giving you a little nod and what direction this is going in well though you know what of all the i i find this to be uh the one of the least hateful things in this realm and one of the cuter things

in this realm and it is a place that opened in 1989 and it is called the precious moments chapel whoa interesting you guys know offhand it's one of those you got to think about for a second but do you have any picture in your mind when i say precious moments uh i yeah i absolutely do little the figurines yes okay yeah the little do-wide children is this is this an official branded precious moments that is correct moments little figurine which i feel are those at hallmark i've never even thought of it as a religious brand inherently i don't know much about it it's just you know you see them on grandma's show or whatever on a christmas tree sometimes um but look at this uh here's a photo it's a little far away from you guys but like this is this pastel colored yeah very 89 there's like a it's just it's very bright an indoor sky and, and a big, huge Precious Moments little girl kissing a goose on the lips.

Wow. It's really weird. It opened in 89, which I think is the same year or around the same year as Sanrio Puroland. And the whole place has a Sanrio Puroland vibe in that it's indoor. It's a similar level of it's devoted to cute characters, but it's like if Hello Kitty and Karopi and everybody were praying and on stained glass recreating Jesus stories and Noah stories. It's really weird. This is awesome.

Yeah. And we've never been sent this because I would remember. No, not even one comment as far as I would know. Yeah, because it would have registered with us. We've gotten a number of mentions of the Cabbage Patch Hatchery. The Cabbage Patch Dolls. Oh, yes, which I really want to do. Baby Baby Land in general.

Yeah. And Yankee Candle Village I know a little about. This kind of, yes, folksy weird things like this we know about. But this is, I've never come across this. The Precious Moments Chapel. Not inherently a religious brand, moments but the guy was very religious and like uh lived very plain and then made so much money off of precious moments that he he just bought a big plot of land and was like this will be my legacy as a place where people can come pray but also there's cute stuff to take pictures of it's

not like it doesn't seem inherently evil to me i don't know although that might be counteracted by this photo where there's two real children walking with two giant precious moments children and one of them is a child clown and i'm no fan of that as you could imagine um that's scary to me so get the child clowns out of that's that's like that's worse than satan to me as a child clown is this still in operation it is yeah because i know yankee village is and i think the cabbage patch one is as well so it's a perennial um no i think it's pretty i think it's pretty popular it's the first one of these I've ever been tempted to go to. I don't know when I'm going to be in Missouri exactly, but I don't know.

I like that it's such a specific, it feels like akin to, maybe you guys would have other things in your head of brands that are like this, but like Love Is. I was going to say Love Is, yeah. Like if there was a Love Is temple temple somewhere a weird that just that there's anything devoted to you don't even think of them as characters or a specific world yeah it's not exactly peanuts it's it's really strange but i haven't i haven't dug into precious moment like i just did a quick search of precious momentsous Moments. You can still buy Precious Moments. Oh, yeah. And there are a lot of IP Precious. There's Batman.

There's Julie Newmar, Catwoman, Precious Moment, Kissing Adam West. They're both like kids. Which is, it's not that far off from Funko Pops. No. They're actually very similar with their big eyes and their bigger heads, but they are short otherwise it's very funko but so of course these things should be yeah thriving

precious moments Disney dreamer boy which is a little kid the second thing I don't care much for it's just a mirror am I looking at a mirror I'm showing Jason a picture of a little no Jason this is a ceramic

figurine of a child with mouse ears and a little Mickey plush what's that podcast you listen to but oh it's fun it's these three guys it's these three Disney dreamer boys but isn't that weird that there's a place that you can go in Missouri like just in like in pure Bible belt where you can see these characters

portraying Moses or whatever, but then you can also see them as Catwoman and Batman. It's like, it's so strange that it can be very few brands can be all of this at once. Yeah. I mean, we look, this is,

you've, you've teed up a really good episode for next year. I mean, we do got them. There are some really creepy precious moments ones i'm looking up here and just to dig into the history of the figurines uh themselves would be probably interesting my mom has a few like there's this guy jim shore and he has like crafts like that like ceramics like this and they i think he started very folksy, but then started getting some licenses. So, like, there is Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Goofy.

And, like, you'll see these in a lot of, like, you know, souvenir shops, like, nice souvenir shops. What does Jim Schur look like? What is his trademark? It's kind of like, I don't know how to describe it. It's ceramic, but it's sort of, like, almost looks like patchwork. Huh, okay.

I found a child clown, porcelain figurine, Scott. This is the biggest thing fighting me of wanting to do a full Precious Moments. Child clown. It's the high preponderance of clowns. But there's one other, and I hate to take this off the table for if we do a full Precious Moments episode,

but I watched a really weird like uh almost an hour long a vhs video tour of the precious moments chapel it takes you through every wall and every painting on every wall and tells you what everything means which is very unsettling because they're showing you lots of precious moments children who are all based on actual children who passed away oh no that's very unpleasant but in the middle of all of that it's a it's a run of here's the here's a bunch of actual kids being portrayed and then in the middle of them in a field in a fictional heaven um is uh is this scott the little mischievous bear Has just slid down a rainbow And is mixing the colors in God's paint pot

Yeah, here's a little, like A big-eyed bear Scott mixing God's paint pot God's paint pot That's why your hands are stained With so many different colors of God's kingdom I can't keep my hands off out of god's paint pot i mean i don't you know i don't hate this as far as fictional scotts go

this this ain't bad no he's good to associate me with one you know get scott evil dr evil son out of your head yeah and think of the best Scott, God's little deputy bear, Scott and his, and God's paint pot. I think, yeah, I think people have, look,

I don't, we haven't called for fan art in a while, but if you want to draw Scott as a bear with his paws and God's paint pot, I wouldn't be upset is all I'm saying. This is neither would I. This is finally is all I'm saying. Neither would I. This is finally something that I'm okay with. No baby clowns. Scott is not pain, but Scott is bear.

Yeah. Scottisbear at gmail.com. There we go. Oh, now I like that one. On the second gate this week that we did with Jane about the Margaritaville Resort in Times Square, you mentioned phrases that get stuck in your heads oh sure from the show and i think god's paint pot is now permanently thumbtacked by god's paint pot scott's god's paint pot it's god's paint pot yeah it's kind

of instantly iconic well yeah thanks to that video. And I'm just so delighted that there's a religious-oriented thing that I don't despise. Now let's go to one that will determine the amount that we despise it. My guess is pretty high. Or at least the people behind it. And that is Jim Baker's Heritage USA. Yeah. I'll say something positive. First, we were watching the Oscars and Jessica Chastain won.

Yes. And she was talking about how much, you know, she won for The Eyes of Tammy Faye. She played Tammy Faye Baker and she talked about how much Tammy Faye Baker cared about people. And I leaned over to you and I was like, weren't these people con men?

And I didn't know a lot. All I really knew of Jim and Tammy Faye when i was a kid was the crying snl yes yeah that a very memorable church chat yeah phil hartman is jim baker and jan hooks is tammy faye baker and that with the insane makeup which you assume i saw an interview with jessica chastain saying the same thing she saw that sketch and thought these people cannot be real this must be greatly exaggerated because it's a sketch show and kind of not at all they sort of are these were like pure sketch characters in real life yeah and i i i did watch the movie i like the. I mean, it's a biopic. If you like bio, if you can, I'm not high on biopics in general,

but I thought it was pretty solid and I thought she was good in it. And Tammy Faye Baker did do, I mean, she showed a lot of compassion to like AIDS patients back when like no one was doing that. So to have a televangelist do that, it did seem like she did do some good things. Jim Baker is a, I'm gonna steal a wrestling phrase he's a scumbag carny piece of shit yes yeah yeah big time i guess

still around by the way still around and off the deep end extremely yeah oh my god so yeah these people had their peak in the in the 70s and 80s the the context that i caught is that they i heard what they did is being described as a religious tonight show like that was the format of their show praise the lord um and they as opposed to televangelism is just a preacher talking and yelling at you on tv for an hour there's was a little show with songs and a couch and guests like huckabee or something like your favorite show started the proudest tradition yeah yeah the finest entertain the finest comedy um and so it would like it was just they they worked on television so well and got explosively popular and sort of peaked

then and it all fell apart amidst scandal uh but jim baker has held on he like a big exile i mean literal exile imprisoned for four years yeah due to activities that we'll discuss in this episode related to the theme park um but he see i guess he i don't know he laid low but he clawed his way out and kept going and now like because i was so shocked to learn a couple years ago that he was still going and i'm sure it was the same for you that it came out of these bizarre bucket the food buckets yeah boy because so to to real quick jim baker when he was in prison disowned the prosperity gospel that he used to preach which is tithe to the church give us your money and god will repay you in kind right god wants you to be rich like i am very rich which

is what the ark encounter or not excuse me the Holy Land was preaching as well. Oh, right, right. Oh, and that was sort of their bent also. And it was like the idea that Tammy Faye would be so glam and have all this makeup was revolutionary because there would have been a time in Christianity where like putting on a little bit of eyeliner would have been way too much. That's gaudy. God dates that.

Yeah. And so he disowned that in prison and then he switched to a different line of preaching. The end is nigh, the apocalypse. And that is why he's selling survival buckets and, during the start of COVID, a collodial, I believe you say, a collodial silver solution that he claimed would cure most diseases,

including COVID-19. If you Google collodial silver, silver solution that he claimed would cure most diseases including covet 19 if you google collodial silver this is a long time snake oil kind of thing and if you take too much of it it will turn your skin blue are there people are there there are blue people out there yeah wow collodial uh is this didn't didn't Alex Jones sell this too? I, a lot of people have sold this. Didn't Gwyneth Paltrow sell this too? She'll rebrand it, but yes. So he got in trouble in states.

His new apocalypse ministry, I think couldn't take credit cards for a while. Oh yeah, he got cut off from his credit card. He got cut off, and every time something would happen a shooting or a catastrophe a train derailment he'd blame it on sinners barack obama he would say he predicted it he said he predicted 9-11 in 1999 he saw it in 1999 like he's he was off the rail like he's so bad shit he the things the the downfall of ptl and heritage usa which happened it all kind of played out in 1987 he recently was on his show attributing everything that happened to cancel culture okay here we go 87 cancel culture here we go

reverse predicted cancel culture um yeah boy he's he's horrible those yeah i tried to get a little re-educated about the the buckets so he doesn't sell because he it would be illegal for him to actually sell these. But what you do is you give him a gift. You give him a love gift. And then if that love gift happens to correspond with whatever amount of money he's designated, these buckets are, then you get a bucket. And that could be a bucket that costs $150. And that's just some supply, a little bit of supply of like

vegetable soup or like what looks like nacho cheese goo they're so insane if you've never watched these or the amazing vic burger remixes of them uh just some of the most bizarre pieces of footage you've ever seen as he digs he opens up these buckets and digs through them with a shovel. That's how big they are. You don't use a spoon. It's a big old shovel. It's a shovel. It's a paint bucket filled with MREs with dehydrated... Like a big PVC material

bucket. It's not even like a small paint bucket. No. It's a big white kind of... It's the Lowe's blue bucket, the Olipo orange bucket. It is a big bucket. It is a big bucket. It is a big bucket. Also, God's Paint Pot and I would like to add love gift to the new podcast to write a phrase. Love gift?

You don't like love gift? No. Yeah, it's upsetting. It's for sure. So it's a phrase. Yeah, it works. But it is not dissimilar in practice to like an npr pledge i think it's also not dissimilar to like code words that like uh sex workers have used of like oh you give 50 kiss it

like this is a gift i'm giving you like i'm not paying you for your service right how expensive is this love yeah it's a love so you are giving uh yeah jim baker a loved gift for a bucket of powder big bucket of goo but then you have to fill up with water and there's been a couple articles a couple places i think npr and vice and i'm sure a myriad of other places have tried like let's make the the buckets let's let's see what the buckets are like and i think they instruct you kind of poorly on the amount of water to put in there and if you were if it was the apocalypse then water might be an issue anyway so does the if adding water is correct is required and then they don't tell you

the right amount it's i mean everybody said this is the worst food i've ever you couldn't say the worst thing that's ever been in my body yeah i mean i i with the boy scouts we go backpacking sometimes you'd have a little envelope of like usually beef stroganoff i mean most it's like chicken tetrazzini or beef stroganoff it's a little vacuum sealed envelope and you pour like one cup of boiling water in it and it's not it's pretty good because you're in the middle of the woods and there's nothing else to do and it's full of salt. Yeah, yeah. That said, if you, the listener, feels like sending an envelope full of beef stroganoff to Jason, which I'm sure he would consider a love gift.

An envelope. A regular letter-sized envelope full of beef stroganoff as a love gift. I also liked the breakdown that you know there's all right there's the 150 dollar and that's a good amount of food but it doesn't match the peace of mind final countdown offer with 31 000 servings of food for 4500 dollars the final countdown he's also every time he does a prediction or something, he's wrong. He's like the 2012, like the Mayan prophecy. It's like, no, that didn't happen.

Yeah, and if he's able to predict these things, then why didn't he predict that like his little, his new Heritage USA, his new little scam town, which is in Missouri, which is two hours away from the precious moments chapel yeah uh they like a little bit of covet happening and just everybody's fired everybody's not the like this community collapsed as soon as covet hit so mate why weren't you a little more on the ball with that dude yeah yeah um i don't know so jim baker uh questionable but he did

now look it fell apart quickly but there was a 10 year and almost 10 year no i guess this is open for 11 years to some extent built up very slowly but he undeniably at a point in time, this property was very successful. He did sort of set out to be a Christian Walt Disney, and for a time, for a very brief time. Very brief time, yes. A number of news sites said during a short window of time, it was the third most popular park after Disney World and Disneyland. Insane. Insane. And again, what you said at the

beginning that you is it really a theme park is that even a fair to put these next to each other but i guess the fact is tons of more people went to that i believe uh knott's berry farm was bringing up the rear and they're number four in that list not We love Knott's Berry Farm. I'm sure in 86, Kingdom of the Dinosaurs was on there. Berry Tales and all these things. They had great stuff going on then. They were getting beaten by what? By the fudge shop?

Yeah. It was probably good fudge. Jason would convert to a very strict sect of Christianity if the fudge was good. Yeah. I mean, I was a little dismayed. I mean, at this place, they're like, try the pizza at Granny's Kitchen. And I'm like, that pizza, no way.

No way that pizza is good. Yeah, yeah. Probably not. Probably cranked out. Granny's probably as white bread of a granny as you could be. Yeah, not using the seasoning. Her secret ingredient is salt. That is the one seasoning she has access to.

Maybe black pepper. But, you know, Scott, because you mentioned Knott's Berry Farm, in the eyes of Tammy Faye, there is a Knott's Berry Farm reference. When Jim Baker is trying to convince the builder, like, maybe you can just loan us some of, you know, start the work on credit or loan us some money. Like, you know, that sort of thing. The builder goes, he talks about, like, Knott's Berry. He used to love Knott's Berry Farm.

But then, quote, every year the jellies got less fresh. And I'm convinced it's because they hired the wrong kinds of people to make the preserves and that is i i whether it's a line concocted for the movie or just the general vibe of the time it's like that is such a perfect weird sentence because it's like that is probably hateful in like six different ways but it's unclear how like it's a riddle. It's a riddle that this guy was mad at, the Christian builder who started the work on Heritage USA. Which, now, I'm not sure who that is who's being portrayed in the movie, but the guy who physically built this camp

or all the big things on the campus was Ro Messner, who later, after it all unfolded married tammy faye and she did she passed away as tammy faye messner yeah so the guy who because he was a mega church builder like a ton of the mega churches across this country were this guy yeah then he this was kind of his biggest project ever And then he also was the guy who put up the hush funds to keep Jessica Hahn quiet. Oh, God. Scandal part one, not the one he went to jail for, but the thing that made everybody like, well, let's look at those books, shall we?

And then the rest of it unfolded. I guess that's sort of what, of the trilogy of the christian amusements one thing that sets this apart from the previous two is those previous two were just doing a lot of like yeah tax breaks uh telethons kind of things heritage usa was a massive financial fraud like a massive scam well but well it was all of it though? Or just, I mean, I guess in its like tax exempt status, sure. But then really it was that tower. The tower was like a big literal that he did go to jail for.

I think the way he was allocating ministry funds to get this built was a scam. They also had a deal where it's like pay us a thousands of dollars one thousand dollars and then forever you'll be able to make a four-night annual trip to heritage usa and much like bugsy sequel sold too many shares in the flamingo casino that it didn't add up to a hundred percent uh they sold 100%. They sold too many. They sold too many of those $1,000. Incredible amount. Yeah.

Too many. Wow, so he thinks he's Christian Disney, but he's Christian Bugsy. Yes. He is Christian Bugsy. That's the third iconic new phrase. Christian Bugsy. By Guest Arrive.

Yeah, Christian Bugsy. And kind of in a similar way, like the other gangsters looked down on Bugsy, the other mega church, like the Holy Roller, like insane preachers looked down on Baker for sure. Yeah, he's kind of

became enemies with all of them. They were, well, that was, yeah, here's a quote for i think is this from jimmy swagger yeah it is uh uh the idea that this was happening that we are going to have a a church campus but that also has themed entertainment and water park and all this stuff jimmyaggart said, I don't think the church ought to be involved in making hamburgers or building water slides or having pony rides. Man needs salvation.

He doesn't need a ride down the water slide. Oh, well, I disagree with that, first of all. Yeah, Jimmy. But yes, I get that they were like, well, this is too much. You know what? This guy's going too far. I guess so.

But his whole, the thought here, and to what you were saying, Mike, earlier, this is what I'm saying, that he did, and he spoke about this, how children don't want to come and sit around like revival meetings they're gonna be bored so maybe the best way to get kids into this stuff is to have them come to just a regular family fun place where their parents are doing religious things but they can go run around the water park or take the the shitty train or whatever it is see one ride the single really unremarkable looking train ride yeah um and that maybe that will you know they'll they'll have fun but you know while they're here they'll learn some stuff he was more right in a way than you know ken ham obviously who built the least fun sounding thing right or heard of well because i mean people have tried to like when a kid's got Spider-Man, it's going to be hard to compete with that.

So I don't know actually who created Bible Man, but that was the, obviously that was the idea there. You know what? Well, kids like Spider-Man, let's make our own great superhero. And it's Bible Man. Wasn't it Willie Ames? Wasn't it? Did Willie Ames create Bible Man?

He's on the show. I'm not sure about that. He is Bible Man. I think he might have. I think this might be. Oh, wow. I didn't know that actually. Again, this has been, oh, that's the, maybe that's next year. Maybe that's. He is Bible man. I think he might have. I think this might be. Oh, wow. I didn't know that, actually. Again, this has been...

Oh, maybe that's next year. Maybe that's... Which is Bible man. We've been teasing that forever. We've been talking about Bible man forever. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, we'll learn by then if Willie Ames... When are they going to...

Oh, I have to wait a whole year to find out if Billy Ames was the creator of Bible man or just the star of Bible man. We could just do it this month also. Yeah, sure. Anytime, please. We'll see how high the month also. Yeah, sure. Anytime, please. We'll see how high the demand is. Yeah, we'll do it for the Pentecost holiday. It has to coincide with a holiday.

Well, so basics about that. Let's talk about what you could do if you came here. As we said, shitty train. Before the water, because the water park showed up uh way later so for that first eight or so years did anything strike anyone's uh fancy about like oh this sounds good uh well yeah i i found thankfully i found like a key i found a keystone for this uh I was like, what was here? Like, this isn't super well documented, the actual activities. And on eBay, there is a brochure for sale.

Oh, interesting. And so you can get the like basic elevator pitch of this place. And the things that stuck out to me there was a sentence that said the healthy activity of walking is highly encouraged they had walking at a walking attraction all right e-ticket walking ride the other uh the other thing was know, it's fully immersive experience. They picked up the childhood home of Billy Graham and restored it on this property. So it's like Mickey's house. It's like Mickey's house. Yeah, but for Billy Graham, who I believe has come up on the show before famously uh told nixon bomb the dykes

in north korea flood flood the country which the estimated would have killed one million people that's like his i use the den yeah when i need to make a telephone call i call nixon and say bomb the dykes the paris peace talks fall apart bomb the dykes. If the Paris peace talks fall apart, bomb the dykes, Kissinger. Same exact thing. Kids were just as delighted to go walk through his house. Gee, that one survived too. That got moved elsewhere.

This childhood home getting tossed across the country. And Billy Graham, I think, later on at least, because I had family members who would watch Billy Graham or have pamphlets around and stuff i think he did soften or at least didn't lead with the everyone's a sinner like jerry falwell like when i was in high school i hated jerry falwell like just anytime there was

a cool movie or there was cool thing that all the news would talk about would be jerry falwell complaining about like i'm like who is this asshole yeah he really did well yeah he really spiked when we were younger because of the teletubbies scandal right oh the teletubbies he was mad at tinky winky tinky winky is gay because he is purple the gayest color right i guess yeah oh man he has a triangle the gayest shape these what he was building this case on yeah was that all it was i'm trying to remember was that all it was and he carried a purse oh that's what it was the main thing i guess get a bag you can call it a bag i don't know i don't know i problem with that yeah i don't know fall well you can draw a straight line from jerry fallwell to like the freaks nowadays just calling any entertainment any public school teacher a pedophile like it's just like you're out of your

fucking minds you don't live in a shared reality the rest of us live in your scumbags he's horrible you can also draw a straight line from jerry falwell to jerry falwell junior well now there we go uh who's around i wait is was he in a scandal he's not at liberty university no he's not at liberty university anymore due to the uh three-way affair slash vision uh business endeavor they had him and his wife with a pool boy from the fontainebleau hotel in miami they went into they like they went into like they gave him a hostel they like all went in all hostile together and then they claimed he was trying to blackmail them and he claimed it was a consensual relation it's it's very fishy also there was a lot of pictures of him being like horny on a yacht in the middle of covid like jesus yeah well he the other the straight line i could draw then from him is to

this was a the subject of research for an episode a few a month or so ago uh which is to uh from jerry falwell jr to joe piscapo because joe piscapo went and did a talk, like a Q&A with Jerry Falwell Jr. at Liberty University. Oh, wow. And as part of that, he said, like, you know, because it's amazing what your dad did, you know, trying to build something from the ground up. You know, that's kind of what we were trying to do as the new guys on Saturday Night Live.

It's the same thing he said about Star Trek, the new generation, you know. It's kind of like being the new guys at Saturday Night Live. He has one thing to relate anything in the world to. And it's 45 years ago. It is literally the era of Saturday Night Live that people care about the least. Well, I mean, Eddie Murphy was on it. Sure.

And R.I.P. Gilbert. Yeah. But no, not Gilbert. It's rain. care about the least well i mean addie murphy was on it so sure an rip that was great gilbert but yeah but no not gilbert terrain gilbert lasted half a season right yeah i don't think he was especially proud of it but yeah no i i got are there any even like old folks that are like you know when snl was good when piscopo was doing sinatra when he was doing old blue eyes with that and he had so much reverence for him that's what i loved about it only if their tv if they didn't have a tv before 1980 and their tv stopped working around 1984 piscopo was it was he at the anniversary yeah because he did one of the greatest pieces they did like a here's all the musical sketches and that's where bill murray did probably the funniest thing in the show and then but earlier in that in the audience he is sinatra

and he does a joke free version of new york new york and sitting behind him is bob odenkirk who cannot repress his grimaces he's like you just can tell he's like oh good i it's a wonderful piece of footage to watch i hope ob does it at the fit what is the 50th that's in a couple years at this point right you'll probably do the exact same thing oh man it's so great why why mess with perfection baby wasn't it what's it the 50 isn't that was the 40th would be the soonish yeah yeah yeah um it's to hang in there piscopo we need you the show's gonna be dying oh blue eyes somebody's gotta resuscitate it well he'll be on the campaign trail soon for trump or desantis it's gonna be one of them he's gonna be a good vp you know uh yeah i don't

you know it's tough trying to rebuild the country you know it's like when you're trying to rebuild saturday and why when you're a new guy anyways uh you know they had horse-drawn carriages but they had all the when we started doing the research i'm like all right well this is going to be an episode all about how bad the guys are because the rides are do not give us anything to work with it's all the things we don't talk about yeah is this there's a list i found is this am i in the spot here? There was like the carousel and stuff. There was a carousel. Yeah, and a Ferris wheel.

Well, the best was the blatant copyright theft. I'm talking about, of course, Main Street Heritage USA. They just took Main Street USA, created a pretty similar version and stuck a different word in the middle of the name. That seems not okay. No. Just the the same thing and they made it indoors uh and thus um more unpleasant i'd say more claustrophobic they did a lot of their tapings from around there and you know what it looked good on on camera it was a great it's a fun backdrop i will i will say aesthetically just liking kind of

dull brown 80s atriums i feel like i would walk around this main street usa and enjoy it as long as i could avoid indoctrination wherever i could if i look at pictures of it i'm like just aesthetically yeah yeah yeah um well you know and there's aesthetics at play that i like in general in this place unfortunately i, I watched a video. I did find a little like brochure of what there is to do here. And let me just play you a little snippet of this. This is from 1987. They're still in the height.

So here's what we feel PTL really is. is just they're cutting to you know oh they got day they got camels they make camels live here that kind of thing but this song i was so delighted when this came up i've talked on the show before about how i listened to my attempt at just trying to be around people mover monorail type music all day every day this is the. This is the song. This is the key song. It's called night lines. It's by Dave Grusin. Uh,

I listened to this all the goddamn time. If there's ever anything, it's stressing me out. A live show of ours, anything with a little bit of pressure. I'm like, you know what? It'll calm me down is listening to that song.

So I was happy to hear it. Cause it's a perfect song. If you want to imagine like this property has many amenities fun for the whole family. It's like meant for little montages like that. It's meant to lull you into a feeling of like I'm going to accept this information and I'm going to use it. Yeah. Yes. Informative.

Right. Entertaining. Right. I love if you've ever been curious about this kind of music, it's on Spotify. Dave Grusin, Nightlines. That's Scott's pick. Scott's choice. Puff up those listeners on that.

It's a delightful song. Is it on Spotify or anything? It is on Spotify. Yeah, yeah. Dave Grusin's great in general. He did the score for Tootsie. I want to say like the Fern. I think Ishtar.

He did a lot of big 80s film scores. That's a heavy hitter. Pleasant sweater wearing guy uh so anyway just that's uh so if you're you're a little taste of that music uh and that's the vibe you know that like there's shopping and horseback riding and uh i don't know balloons and it's all and and reviews it's all softball apparently and everything in it is very pleasant and the music's pleasant but then all of a sudden i don't know when it's gonna getball apparently and everything in it is very pleasant and the music's pleasant but then all of a sudden i don't know when it's gonna get to it oh yeah then right after the pool

the sizable pool then they cut to a very distressed woman in a dark room um and then actually that's not the part i was looking for there's a there's a there's a very distressed woman at some point just uh staring at a gun as if to say should i use the gun and then it cuts to that woman being led into like a cabin like it's okay be here now okay it's very alarming that in this pleasant did it did it like but that's the kind of thing they did was they had like they had a home for unwed mothers that was a thing here or they would take in people yeah there there was a point in time where they were attempting to do outreach and they were attempting to do charity work before it was just like we gotta make money um it seems like baker fell into the like we, we got to get some money going, you know, like, pretty, pretty quickly.

Yeah, yeah. Because that's expensive to maintain. It's massive property. I read it was, like, it's 10 times the size of Disneyland. Oh, okay. Huge campus. Yeah. So you got to start making some return as fast as you can. But like the vacation amenities and the like,

like even that sort of promotional package with like that music, the reason they were able to get so big so fast was they were trying to meet people where they were, you know, they were trying to like use the language of like secular entertainment without the values. Cause there, there's a 2020 uh piece online about like you know interviewing people who work there and stuff and it's just like uh someone was like why can't we have christian disneyland and it's like what what is so off-putting to you about disneyland is it

the hoi polloi you're around is it the sinners you're around like i don't isn't that already disneyland pretty wholesome yeah let's tell well especially let's because because today the answer would be they're too it's their jesus plush mountain they're putting their walk in my all that shit yeah yeah but in 87 what are we mad at disneyland about what possibly yeah they were if any they were far too moral already a christian theme park it moral already a christian theme park christian things sometimes a little more yes and where you could you know like yeah are you that upset at the why do they have uh lincoln talking solemnly at me it should be moses

it's like a bit it's very wholesome i would say. Yeah. And in their way of describing wholesome, yes, of course. There was nothing subversive about it. Yeah. Yeah. In 87, it's like, is that the second Reagan administration? Your guy won, handedly, twice. The evangelicals, they touch on that in the movie, they deliver the evangelical vote to Reagan.

It got him elected twice. It's just like, what more do you want? You won. They don't want the secular values of Main Street USA, the tawdry. I can't even think of what a fake. We want our fudge has to have a picture of a cross next to it disney's pagan fudge has me doesn't make its leaning this godless fudge has no place in america this fudge will be damned for all eternity we make our fudge with holy water

we ever yeah it's i guess yeah i guess they just wanted their ip to be in the park more they just wanted more christian ip yeah uh to be greeting people and doing i guess well there may be the feeling of like that they don't like that they just they only want to be around uh their kind oh you know what's it well this doesn't count at disneyland either because at this at that point in time you couldn't drink at Disneyland. You could probably smoke. But here, you could not smoke or drink. So I guess it's that.

At Disneyland, there's a bunch of filthy smokers everywhere. There's smokers. Which is, I guess, kind of true. But I guess it's so that. That's the only difference. You can't smoke here. Yeah. Could I ask a question?

This is just a Disney question. Could you at any point smoke on... We've talked about this before, but smoke on the rides? Or could you smoke in like Mr. Lincoln in 1960? That's a good question. That is a good question. I think in general no, because they're like, oh, these

things are a pain in the ass to keep up. We should look that up. We should look that up. I don't think you would ever smoke on the rides because I don't think they want to lit cigarettes flying every direction. I know, but like in a show like with Lincoln. Something stationary. Something stationary.

Right. I bet you for sure could light up a cigarette on the Mark Twain. And I said this a couple weeks ago that if I could, if I had to smoke a cigarette, it would be on Pirates of the Caribbean. Yes. I would do it today. I would drive down today and do it.

Since some people were like in agreement, I felt like non-smokers I saw were in agreement on this point. Yeah, yeah. But I wonder, I wonder what the smoking policy, we should, yeah, look into this. That would be funny if they did like a special night. Smokers night? You know, they did 80s night, they did smokers night.

They got big fans at the end of the night, big filtration. Everyone's got like giant filtration systems now. I will pay $150 for this ticketed event and I will smoke a pack at Disneyland on every ride.

It is, I mean, a lot of casinos in Vegas still have pretty significant smoking sessions. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. And it is kind of like smoking indoors. This is novel nowadays. How about that?

Or bars that have private ownership or private club membership. There's some sort of rule about certain bars. Vegas, I'm not as excited to smoke a cigarette. No, no. The vibes are around you completely already. Yeah, but if I could light up in the tiki room i would do it yeah that's what yeah i bet there right yeah was it like i don't know unless it was just we don't know what these robots are gonna do might make them go haywire oh yeah yeah they'd like gain

sentient they become sentient uh if you if they had too much cigarette smoke uh although that might be that might have been tiki room seems pretty close i feel like if there was just a big plumes of smoke, you wouldn't be able to see the birds. That was maybe the concern, yes. Pure visibility. So maybe that's, yeah. Maybe that's the issue with Lincoln too.

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Let Mighty Pine make it more comfortable. Rebates, incentives, and financing are available for a Well, let's see. Okay, so, you know, carousel or strong carriage is boring stuff. But there is a little bit of stuff about Main Street Heritage USA. The Heavenly Fudge Shop, as has been addressed before. They had a little slogan i saw on some leaflet follow the aroma you be the judge take home a stick of pure homemade fudge nice cute yeah i guess um let's see we got uh the popcorn trolley they had something called

fads and fancies fads and fancies which is fads and fanancies. Fads and Fancies. They had Fads and Fancies there. That's like Disney-ish. Yeah, I'd say all of it is. They had like a jewelry store, which I feel like is a Main Street perennial. They had some very expensive stuff. Okay, so they had Tammy Faye branded things. They had Tammy Faye makeup, which of course you're after. You want to look

like tammy fey of course yeah uh tammy fey branded pantyhose they sold okay and then this one's really weird that you could maybe you couldn't buy this this is maybe this is just on display um that there was a handmade porcelain bride doll in honor of the baker's 25th wedding anniversary and so she is in full wow bride attire complete with lacy lingerie that is a quote you can look at a little doll of tammy faye and bridal lingerie is it this doll ah you have a show it to me oh yeah is that a picture of it on eBay? What is this? Click back on it for me.

Sorry, yeah. This is a vintage wire press photo of the doll, of a Tammy Faye doll. Oh, my God. Yikes. Wow. You found little Lacey lingerie Tammy. That looks like Annabelle or something. That's like a very haunted doll vibe.

Yeah. So, well the they got the memo that like people would want like the head of the company like a michael eisner doll they got that idea i guess so because i mean or the founders themselves obviously wanted to get merch like i mean we want we want dolls of ourselves that was kind of you know that they started with doing the puppet shows on the one right that's right that was the beginning of their television career yeah it's not that far yeah to like dolls from there right right you could also buy praise dolls talking praise dolls that you squeezed and uh you squeeze them and they say uh i am full of joy jesus is lord praise the lord pray with me and i say my prayers i say my prayers hey dolly do you say your prayers you didn't get any audio of this right i just would love to know no no yeah it's also like inevitably if you give a

kid young enough a doll at some point they're gonna stop like playing with it as intended and they're just gonna whack it against a wall or like you know hurl it at their sibling so they all of these dolls no longer have the ability to speak, is what you're saying, due to horseplay. Yeah, yeah. Weird detail about the retail situation in this place. There was a restaurant manager there who said, here's one thing, Christians don't tip. They'll give you $100 if you need it, but they won't leave that 15%. And they don't seem to play tennis either.

The courts are often empty. Oh, wow. Well, I tip very well, even if the service is terrible, and I play tennis. You're the element they're trying to keep out of this place. They want non-tippers

and non-tennis players. I don't feel welcome. I do not feel welcome at this place that doesn't exist anymore. Thank God it's been razed to the ground. I found there's some copy in that brochure about the general store on Main Street. There's a big header. It says, everybody loves shopping. Yes, even dad will enjoy poking around in the big general store, which carries everything from camping supplies and

groceries to gifts in fact he might just want to stay there forever always i don't know uh but once mom and the kids explore main street's cobblestone avenue lined with wonderful old-fashioned shops they'll make sure dad sees it too i don't this copy on the brochure is so odd and inhuman. We're like, we understand people. Dad will see camping supplies and he will want to live in a store. You're not, you're going to have to drag him out.

I think it's the vibe I'm getting. And then the second sentence is like, you have to force dad to look at cobblestones. It's like, it'll be pretty good. He'll, he'll'll we'll make sure he sees this area as well oh if i could stay here forever oh if i could if i could i'd drop you in a second honey if i could live with a hundred fishing poles i want to marry this fishing pole now where's the nearest pastor always right over here oh you're all ordained everyone here who works here is ordained i'm marrying this

pronounce me in these 25 fishing poles man and pull it a wig go to the tammy face store give me a wig put it on the pole we're doing this now. Put some Tammy Faye rouge on. Fishing poles. I don't give a shit about these cobblestones. I want to marry this pole. Oh no. I tried to kiss my new wife. She's got a hook. She's got 25 hooks in me.

Oh no. Women. He turns to the Cameron. Poles. What are you going to do? Can't live without them. This is some great Christian sketchy. I think we're doing it right. That's pretty good.

I don't know if they had any sort of dinner theater. It looked like they had some shows from that video, but you could have just done this live. Yeah. Oh my gosh, it would have killed. Murders, kills. There was a lot of entertainment there because they're doing the tapings here.

I mean, it really became where they did the tapings for a very long time. And various accommodations. So it's like Nickelodeon Studios. You go there to see the show you love live. Yeah. Right. I grew up like 20, 30 minutes away from the QVC studios, which are just sort of located in the middle of like southeast

pa and there's no theme park or is there even a gift shop i think i think there's some sort of maybe shop did you ever try to go or get a tour i didn't it didn't dawn on me to like oh i could have just done an internship there like you could have been an on-air host yeah i could have been on air i know people who i think at some point try or like they did a short run yeah you know you knew upstart qvc years wow could you do it you think huh i think i could do it like oh just vamp and like just like yeah for like a couple hours you'd have to just keep talking about i don't know i almost sent you a picture of lacy dolls probably lacy dolls it was like was like high-end watches,

but it had Batman and the Joker on them. I was flipping the chattels recently. I came across that on QVC. Well, yeah, I don't know. I've thought about it. I'm not really thinking about seriously doing it, but I was like, could I do it for a couple hours? I guess so.

There was an attempt to start streaming shopping network for millennials I do it for a couple hours? I guess so. There was an attempt to start streaming shopping network for millennials out of the old Meltdown Comics location in West Hollywood. But it was... Who was it? Was it Jimmy Iovine's son? Yes, yes it was.

Well no, and he has an app now that's sort of like that called Network. N-T-W-R-K I believe. I was gonna ask what letters are drawn. an app now that's sort of like that called Network. NTWRK, I believe. I was going to ask what letters are drawn. There's like friends of ours host stuff on there.

People we know. I'll find out later. Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Honestly, I bought discount toys on this app and it did work. The dream is alive is what i'm saying so you love i love network uh there's also brought to you but there's a you know there's a green day side secret side project i believe called the network or network as well where the letters are dropped in that oh good question let me let me take a look it was a secret band though they've never

admitted they are the state of Should have stayed a secret. They have multiple side projects. Hold on. Green Day, the network. I believe it was the network. Nope. Regular spelling of the network. Okay.

So. What were they able to do in the network that the confines of Green Day didn't allow? I believe it was a little more like Devo sounding, I think. With that reference, you have guaranteed I won't like it. Not because I like Devo. I think that's what it was. I will listen to this and go, no, not Devo-esque at all. We'll see.

I can't remember. I think they actually brought the network back recently, but I think they started doing it like 15 years ago. Okay. But there's, yeah, there's multiple. There was a network Zoom reunion. Yeah, yeah. Deep in the pandemic.

That's true. So anyway, Jason, QVC host. Yeah. I know for a fact that QVCvc and home shopping network same ownership now oh because my mom was complaining about like they have different return policies but they're the same company and that makes me go like are you still buying stuff yeah sounds like it yeah sounds like you're getting a batman watch you're getting a Batman watch for Christmas. If you're getting a good deal, hey, I'll take it. I am wearing a watch, so.

Other stuff they had here. Oh, well, here, I like this in terms of attractions. This one's exciting enough to compete with walking. That park guests, now you, all right, you can book as much vacation time at this place as you want. And this was not enforced, but it was strongly suggested that maybe, you know, you got a lot of vacation time. Can't you give us just a little for volunteer efforts? Can't you get on the phone bank? And if you do so, you could, if everyone did that, shipped in a little, it could save the ministry thousands of dollars a year, which then can be spent on other PTLl ventures such as world missions or you know hush money to women um insane so you know what am i going to south

carolina to do walk and volunteer and then how and then but then i get to do rides well i mean if we we might have them someday assuming the company doesn't fall into incredible swift collapse. There has to be a family who is just like, okay, where are we going for vacation this year? Okay, last year we had to sit through the two-hour timeshare presentation. What do you have to do this year? You have to volunteer to phone bank? Dad, come on. Yeah. to phone bank dad come on yeah there no there were i would be wonder if there's anyone listening who had to do this if there's an old they're a little older listener maybe it's i mean pot like

you know there's one of those videos on youtube it's like exploring the grounds of it and what's there now and the guy well he was poking fun at it, he also seemed to be like, I really liked it. He didn't seem strongly religious. I think it's possible that you, you know, it's a campground kind of place. And I was in a pool and I did horseback riding. I think it's fully possible you could have liked this. It was not aggressive in the way that the holy land experience was or yeah i think there's a way that you could have had this experience without feeling like stuff was shoved down your throat because and and some of it like you're saying has been preserved

the one hotel was preserved i believe well in a bunch and it's like the little the guest rooms like where you would stay all the the cottages and everything all became condo. Like people do live. And then there's new buildings that were built on the grounds of the water park. So where the water park used to be, it's all just like really boring looking housing tracks at this point uh one of the attractions we haven't mentioned yet the upper room a recreation of the place in jerusalem where uh supposedly the last supper was held oh that's what that is that is still in you can still go there another ministry another ministry took over portions of this and that is uh still functioning it's not open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, like it used to be.

Yeah, that was the idea of it, is that you would, like, Jim Baker's like, how do we get this perfect? Oh, you can't go pray somewhere at 3 a.m. Yeah. So, yeah, so there's that. It's 24-hour prayer. And you said it was a recreation? Yeah, a recreation of.

So was it, like, but so was it like figures or was it human beings playing do we know i don't think any i think it's the place yeah i think it's just a table it's just the room so you would go no mannequins no robots no no no that's just a genuine place to pray but it looks like i see a room from the year uh 36 because you would say you know like i'm just blue skying here like you know if you paid money to like be part of the last supper to eat at the table now we're talking as far as experience the last year yes so you're paying a high-end ticket price to eat at the last supper to be in that moment in the same way you're paying in star Wars Hotel to experience... A supper club on the cruise ship.

Sure. And this is now your part of the Star Wars canon. Now, this is hardcore part of the Christianity canon here. What happened at the Last Supper? Was one of the acts a betrayal at the Last Supper? Did you get to watch that happen? That's my understanding. I guess if you pay more, you could be the betrayer.

You could be... Look, Scott, you're more you could be the betrayer you could be look sky you're the religious guy of the three of us here so you should really know is this the judas is this the judas thing is this the that's as close as i can get is even asking the question some of you will betray me he said okay so you get to watch that happen that's pretty exciting that's kind of like a and thenlo. It's like Kylo. Body of Christ, blood of Christ, I believe. But I'm just trying to think of... Oh, that too. Oh, right, right.

I'm just trying to think of stuff that would get people engaged and have more fun with any of this stuff because they've never... No one is like... Christian Disneyland, and they talked a big game here, but just build something as good as a haunted mansion.

And even if it's like... People will go like, I'm not really into the message here, but like just build something as good as a haunted mansion. And even if it's like, if people will go like, you know, I'm not really into the message here, but these effects, but this experience, this immersive, they've missed the point of all of that.

I feel like consistently is they've never, they have yet to do this. And I feel like it's the same way with most Christian entertainment. And I have not, or Christian rock, and maybe I'm completely wrong and I'm missing some stuff, but it's never, it's a little not well done. Exactly. and I have not, or Christian Rock, and maybe I'm completely wrong and I'm missing some stuff. Well, yeah. But it's never right.

It's a little not well done. Exactly. And you're going to be eating your words in a couple hours when you're at that matinee screening of Father Stew. I don't know what that is. You don't know about Father Stew? Come on, you don't know about Father Stew? What is Father Stew?

I only barely heard about Father Stew. I understand. But you have? That's interesting. I don't think so. Tell me what it is. Oh, Father Stew is the new Mark Wahlberg movie about oh wait a minute it's a real guy who appears in episodes of Wahlburgers that's how I knew about Father Stew he's passed away at this

point yeah honestly I don't know that I think but I think he shows up I think he was alive at the time I don't quote me on that but There's a recent episode of The Best Show where Tom Sharpling just watches the trailer and describes beat by beat what is happening because it's like, it's a guy who moves to Hollywood to be an actor, but then he's an ex-boxer, but then he gets in a motorcycle accident

and he stole the motorcycle and then he becomes a priest and then he gets sick and his old boss who told him not to steal something was is mel gibson in the movie oh yes that's a very jarring cut to just suddenly 20 seconds in ah mel oh mel's there this is the start that mark walberg says he's gonna start making religious oh this is the turn okay mel's already that. I actually haven't seen the Mel movies. Well, Mel's done it, but Wahlberg hasn't done it.

Right, right. No, I know. So I'm trying to, like, yeah. Okay, so maybe you're saying Wahlberg is going to be ushering in a new golden age of hardcore Christian entertainment that could lead to, like, theme parks finally giving us the rise of the resistance Christian experience that we've wanted for so long well father stew the ride i guess father's assuming that this movie is and i don't know what places you go and but if there's well we have a vehicle in play if he's on a motorcycle

you can yeah you can do a vr motorcycle ride right motorcycle or a truck or i i forget exactly or if you're you're in a sidecar you're like you're sitting like the hagrid yeah yeah yeah you're riding shotgun with father stew all right we're getting closer getting closer huh i don't know what studio is putting this out is this already uh pictures okay okay well and they have deals, they don't have a big theme park present. Harry's gross, $7 million. Oh, it's out. It's out, yeah. Okay. Fifth in the box office, after everything, everywhere, all at once.

Were any of the Transformers that Mark Wahlberg was in the movie with Christian? Were any of the robots all overly Christian? Bumblebee played a lot of secular music. Yes, that's true. Okay, so that's out. He would have had to have converted them. I see. Maybe.

Okay. I'm not sure what's. Maybe Christian robots. There's a movie in the future with Christian robots where they like preach to you. Instead of saying they're proud of you at the end, they give you a little like a psalm or something at the very end of the ride. Yeah. That would be nice. They say, though, I will pray for you. I will pray for you, Michael. Let me say your name. like a psalm or something at the very end of the ride yeah that would be nice they say though i i

will pray for you i will pray for you michael let me say your name feels kind of good right it feels great yeah yeah i feel like he's gonna have some sway he's a big he's a big crazy truck god's gotta listen when he talks ah michael you've been having you've been putting your paws in god's paint pot again haven't you you You little scamp. I will make sure you're seated at the right hand of Scott. And between Scott and God's paint pot. Yeah, so like give us that level and we'll go to these parks. I mean, we'll go to these parks regardless, but go to the parks.

If we get there, we will go. One might stick around if there was that's what i'm saying yeah somebody just has to do it as well it's what they always think they're gonna do but they they don't now let me say that maybe this is a good uh well actually maybe before i get to that um jim baker if if he hadn't done uh many horrible things and committed crimes. Yeah. And this place had remained. He did have an idea for a ride. Did you come across this, Jason? No. There was a pitch for a ride and it's not very fleshed

out, but it sounds good. And the ride is a roller coaster ride through heaven and hell. This is something he wanted to do. Okay. Now, that's it. That's what we want. Yeah. He's right. Was it fleshed out at all or he just sort of had the idea? No, that's it, which isn't much.

That doesn't tell you anything. And I guess you'd have to worry that that would be, what if that's only Six Flags level theming, where the Riddler ride equals a green track? And in this world, it is a blue and white track when you're up high and a red track when you're down low. Yeah. Now, yeah, exactly. That's probably what he probably didn't think too much about it. I could be wrong. But how would you do it?

I'm trying to think. You would want the, like, hell stuff to be sort of underground. And then maybe you would want the coaster to be up. Like, go, like, there's almost, like, scaffolding. I'm trying to be up, like go, like there's almost like scaffolding. I'm trying to think of like in Credit Coaster, you would want like sort of clouds, like plastic clouds up at the top of the track perhaps? Yeah, like, well, it might even be enough

just that it's indoor-outdoor, and when you're outdoor, you're soaring through the sky like it gets up really high and you're feeling the euphoria of flight as if the flight of an angel maybe that's it maybe there's angels around whether fully animated or

just Mr. Incredible style you feel like you're soaring with the angels up there but then the indoor part is real scary and murky and you like you're soaring with the angels up there but then the indoor part is real scary and and murky and you know you're watching people all like have to rotate a big uh big wooden that's good uh demons are whipping them so yeah you wanted like a slow lift hill up you go slowly up and then you get to the top of the lift hill and then i think you could even put yeah plastic clouds and angels and you're sort of just going around the track and then at a certain point i assume you commit some sort of sin there's a representative representation of you

committing sin and going or it just tells you like this is what you'll see if you live a pious life but if you don't and then maybe it's just the drop. Like a severe, straight drop. It's like the shell razor drop. You're not getting air time, you know, like what it seems like happens in Velocicoaster. It's like, you know, big transcendent. You don't get the fun. You have to be saved from that. So I think hell happens early.

Maybe the devil tempts you and then you take the plunge. Like you could go this way or you could try my way or he's holding a drive my way he's holding a package of non-religious fudge and then in your car banks to try to taste the fudge yeah but it ends up plummeting to hell because you've eaten this sacrilegious fudge made with regular water with regular water and then it's and then it's the best representation of hell in a theme park ever i think you have to go crazy with here like a massive genuinely frightening yeah yeah oh yeah that devil big uh pressure on that devil that's got to be that's like the everest yeti that's like larry the scary rex yeah it's all of it at once your

car should stop for like five to ten minutes while the robot puts its hands all over your face, too. Just in like the most unsettling thing. This is the first robot on a ride that touches you. You're getting assaulted by a devil animatronic? Yes. Because you have to know. You have to know.

If you make poor choices. So, yeah, you'll get... The car stops for ten minutes, and it just like robot hands all over your face like you will be here forever and it's hot it's unpleasant too the fingers are pokey they really they hurt you're right it has to be crazy hot i was complaining i was saying in that armageddon episode i don't like indoor fire this would have to you know even i have to say like it's got to be so much hotter than armageddon

than any indoor fire ever it's got to be very unpleasant this is like you're on stage yeah on stage at a molly crew concert right by the pyro yeah that's how hot it's going to be in this section of it it's not just quick blasts it's sustained it's 10 yeah that's true yeah of flame you got to start thinking maybe you're going to lose your hair in this thing yes well maybe the end is just like it's a you know a quick lift hill up to like a flat ride section like a slow moving you return to uh the loading station you go through a little heaven scene okay that's good this is what awaits you and then the loading station i don don't know. It should probably be like a chapel or something. It should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you come back.

Well, yeah, the chapel is like the portal between the worlds. It's where you make your choice. You should. You know what? To get out of the devil's situation, he should go person to person in the car, and you should just explain how you've sinned in your life to the devil. And so once you've revealed everything that you've ever done

Wrong to the devil then he goes alright And then and they're actually somebody is listening Somebody's manning that animatronic so you have to Through virtue and honesty You're allowed to leave but then I think you get Like a launch and some fun and then you're soaring Through well maybe like I don't know if she'd lend it out

To a religious organization but like Heaven is a place on earth. The heaven part has to be fun. You got to see how much better it is than being touched by actual robot fingers scraping against your face. Well, what if when you get into the end there, into heaven, it's the song playing and then there's a big god robot and he touches your face too but the fingers

are softer yeah it needs to be a massive god like like guardian the guardians coaster has the celestial isan is the antagonist yes yes i've read this the the savior right we need a massive benevolent god yeah yeah and he you you see you feel his tender touch yeah and then he yells like be with me and then you get launched up into his kingdom this is the type of thing a great ride anchoring the park would like this would keep something alive i guess it didn't help with the knights in white satin so that the park went away but supposedly that was a great ride and at the very least you would say yeah you gotta go you gotta make time yeah have you ever been on a ride where the robots touch you

because people would go wild for it that's the headline the religious aspect of it is buried deep in the article deep in the article right so yeah i just think i think no one's approached this correctly so if you're a hardcore fundamentalist Christian and you want a smart bunch of ideas for a theme park, come to us. Look, we've begged, by the way, other theme park companies to have us blue sky things. Crickets.

Yeah. Absolutely nothing. Years and years of begging. Let us get involved. And now here's a thing christians come to us we want to be involved in the theme park industry and whatever bad ideas you have we're willing to sell our own beliefs out if it means that we can write like dialogue for a little robot or a show for saint peter going like come on let's go oh watch out we'll

do we're like you know i really my my beliefs are completely opposite to some of these people. But they let me write the little patter during a pre-show for a ride. So we're willing to sell ourselves out. They need us is the point. Yes. We can lift them up. Yes. And maybe convert them to being a little more fun.

Right. I think so. So, yeah, at this point, I've given up on being like consultants at Universal Creative. We will accept, yeah, whatever next to the Huckster. Oh, Alex Jones wants to do a theme park? And he wants to podcast the Ride Boys to be involved? Well, everything he says is reprehensible,

but it's a theme park. he's gonna lose a lot of money soon but yeah so we we believe that's actually see it seems like the most likely time for him to start a theme park oh yeah when he is diving into bankruptcy yes i that's often when yeah a lot of the 90s theme restaurants or theme parks that never came to be or just like weird. Like you learn about a new weird foreign dignitary who's like has oil money or zinc money. And it's like, I want a Spider-Man ride here. Silver, silver money. Yeah.

When you oddly have the most spending powers, when you've like, when you're teetering on the crimes on record um let's talk about what brought this down because it was uh there were literal crimes involved um well first first of all i okay the water park heritage island i enjoy that name name. And this now with a water park, at least this, you sort of can't argue. Get there are their slides and you splash and you go down the slide. And in the lead up to it, you get a great music like that.

I found a full episode of the PTL club where they're about to open the water park and they celebrate it by singing about how, you know, this place was, it was a dream of ours. You might say an impossible dream. This is a rendition of that song. Oh, no. To dream the impossible dream. Oh, no.

And just to say this, just to clear this up, this is not me singing. I kind of can't believe it. Dream an impossible dream singing. I kind of can't believe it. It's got the warble. Over just like waterfall footage, like empty water park footage yeah

I don't I don't understand how singers like this rise to this person was allowed to sing on television and that's what the singing

was like also I just there's just no consensus it's like wait you think you think everyone who lives in the devil's kingdom new york city and the people who make broadway shows are going to hell but you'll borrow you'll borrow the song from man man of la mancha also isn't like if you're starting a big ambitious endeavor, Man of La Mancha is kind of a sort of a cursed thing to invoke. I feel what with the trouble Terry Gilliam's had. Oh, yeah.

Well, and just like it's about a man out of his mind tilting at will. Like the phrase tilting at windmills comes from like, yeah, it was jousting with a windmill because he thought it was a monster because he was out of his mind. Yeah. and i don't know really this is a guy building water parks for jesus uh thinking that the hush money he paid for a an awful event years prior would never come back to bite him then it did within the year of the water park opening. It was so fat. This opened in 86.

Weird fact that heritage Island had a wave pool before Disney did because typhoon lagoons three years later. So they were first to it again. Sort of can't argue that wave pools fun. They did have a wave. Yeah. Beat Disney to it. But that opens in 86 87 stuff starts going wrong right away falwell takes over i think anticipating the jessica hahn situation

that like uh baker's gonna become persona non grata. We have to switch up the leadership and I have to start bilking this thing for money. Well, I think the FBI and IRS were about to kick down the doors too for the money fraud. Yes, well the Baltimore son was looking into his finances, discovered they were paying

so much hush money for this assault, this awful thing that happened in 1980 uh so then Falwell takes over uh they are somehow with all this they're getting so much money for people but there's 68 million dollars in debt uh so that's when Falwell did a drive for donations and the drive we discovered this right the slide Falwell's slide he went down the water slide in a full suit yes which was built up this was an event nickelodeon style built up for many months and keep sending those in because i'll end

up it's a very like and then your principal's gonna get slimed dunk tanks even like a high level version of that yeah it's just a shame it wasn't an action park slide or that slitter bond slide it's just a shame though only it had launched only into the air into heaven as a freeway heaven and then launched his physical body all the way to heaven so he would end up in hell where he is now yes guarantee yes can't say if there is one he's there uh yeah so a lot of people donated for him to go on a water slide and he built this up like it was gonna be the worst thing and though and he's so scared on the thing. I guess, who am I to?

I've been scared on the thing, too. Who are you to make fun of him for your fear? Vincent D'Onofrio in the Eyes of Tammy Faye movie, Vincent D'Onofrio is pretty much just doing the kingpin again, but he's Jerry Falwell. Yeah. And it's pretty good. Yeah.

Same deal. So he went down a water slide. It looks pretty doing a full suit is funny um but it's all falling apart the hush funds come out and so like how could this uh bastion of morality be doing these horrible things and then the other scam unravels the one you were talking talking about, Jason, where they have this tower, the heritage grand tower, which has 500 rooms, but they sell, uh,

160,000 PTL lifetime memberships. Oh, all guaranteed four days, three nights a year for life. Uh, for a thousand dollars, this would never like the map on this, like let alone that the place is

closed within two years well and when i like it wasn't finished right like that there's stories about people like just dropping their tool like the government's here shut it down yeah yeah yeah everybody ran yeah uh there's also oh god no i can't remember the podcast to listen to about this but they talked to somebody who grew up around there and it just became like it's where the teens went to get high like you'd go like hook up and smoke joints on top of the unfinished heritage grand tower so it just like it just all unraveled it's still this footage of this you can watch on youtube it's so creepy that you can fly drones clear through windows that broke years ago that nobody's ever gonna fix yeah um to dream the

impossible dream i guess so um so the downfall begin so because of that so that is him with these lifetime partnerships he is offering something that he can't possibly make good on so he actually i'm almost i love that he actually was punished for this type of person i feel like he's never punished very rarely this kind of thing but it's so uh literal and clear and he got brought down and went to jail for four years and he and tammy faye divorced and now he's all about buckets. Now he's got a different scam. He's remarried. She helps him sling the buckets. Oh yes, a very Tammy Faye-esque

woman is his wife now. Yeah. So he just cloned her as close as he could get. Oh, and I didn't mention that I couldn't find the facts on this too much, but I think a lot of this land also rightfully belonged to a Native American tribe, and they just kind of took it.

So there's that. Oh, that's 100% likely. That's not even the main headline about this place stolen from Native Americans. A lot going on here. And again, this is all a ministry, so all of this is tax-exempt. Like, that was the first threat, that it's like the government might pull the tax exempt status. I think they did. I think maybe in the fall or right before Falwell, they actually in a rare move, they actually got busted on that too.

Yeah, they haven't pulled Scientology yet, but they got the Baker establishment. And that, you know, no fan of of scientology but i think we could agree we'd like to see that theme park well the ip of scientology we've seen a move like at least in the abstract like we've seen like that as spaceships and stuff so as a kid what would appeal to me more is the is the stories of the bible or the old testament like or story of fucking xenu and spaceships which i know aren't like public i mean the movie is i guess the movie is the closest thing because like in in the literature they kind of hide some of the alien element right the alien element i i

don't know it comes later it comes later you gotta get accustomed to right yeah but there is a movie with aliens we know if you're if assuming the l ron hubbard books are fair game yeah yes exactly the the quote-unquote fictional works which they don't think are fiction i don't know i don't know anything that but yes alien spaceships now we're talking as far as again scientology uh we've seen in some of the documentaries it seems scary but we're willing to do whatever you want as long as we can pick out what little plush Xenus are in the gift shop.

We want to imagine your rides. Podcasts to Ride will sell out to anyone who has money in a theme park idea. I'm just really quickly scanning the synopsis of Battlefield Earth just to pull a name out. I think you could have a whole land or at least a big Rise of the Resistance level ride that's called Battlefield Earth Dawn of the Cyclos. Oh, yeah. The Cyclos.

Okay. Sure. Yeah. There's e-ticket potential for all of this stuff. I think for sure. And the fact that Dawn of the cyclos the billion dollar ride could operate without taxation yes because the ride is considered a church fantastic imagine if we could get our hands on that yeah and then when we have that amount of money to play with

like like the suckers at disney have to pay you know still probably not a lot of say they've got some tax exempt stuff going on to church but they haven't tied up every loophole yeah oh my god scientology land in hemet they got the space for it uh yeah is this um is this the next like i think we've seen a lot from the early 2000s the late 90s re-exam of like oh this is actually pretty good oh this is pretty good has anyone pulled the take yet battlefield earth movie travolta pretty good oh this is pretty good has anyone pulled the take yet Battlefield Earth movie Travolta oh pretty good he's making some choices

it's up to Bugman now only one man can bring it back from the dead and that's Bugman if he makes the call we'll know it's true we'll blue sky we'll blue sky we'll look I will get every religious book that is existing and I will start blue skying for all the different religions.

Get the ideas on hand. Yeah. I would advise you not to start making sketches from the Koran. Oh, okay. They take representation of their, they take it a little more seriously than the Christians. Okay, I hear what you're saying. Recreations.

One IP is off limits. Got it, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Except, although I say that, but there was a big kerfuffle because in AEW recently, there was someone wrapped some barbed wire around Adam Cole's head and put him through a table and it did look like a crown and it was Good Friday. And they were screaming, oh, there's a barbed wire crown and put him through a table on

Good Friday. But it's like, ah, guys, come on. It was just because he was going at first through a table. So it would hurt more. Come on. Sure. Sure, yeah. Real quick thing as we're winding down.

So this property sat just rusting away. But they, you know, it is a viable. There's some theme park infrastructure. So some people have tried to bring it back. I think a few times, even just Radisson as a regular hotel. Can we finish that thing? Didn't work out.

But the biggest attempt was in the early 90s, a guy named Morris Cerullo, who is also a televangelist and a bigoted piece of shit and tax fraud, if you can imagine all of that, worked oddly with a guy named Bill Lund, who was the second husband of sharon disney wow so walt's post-death son-in-law was involved in an early 90s effort to

bring heritage usa back okay way post baker's involvement uh and one of the first there's a big article just try to like drum up support for this and there was the question well well, what about all those people who bought the Lifetime memberships and paid $1,000? Are you going to make good on that? And he said, well, we'll try to reestablish relationships. We'll let them know, hey, look, the past is the past. You gave to help build this, so come back and enjoy it. And then they said, so no refunds then? And he said, there's nothing we can do

except just love them and try to nurture them and let them know that they're welcome. Oh, boy. So he'd shit lifetime membership holders, Morris Zerullo. I don't think we've said either the name Heritage USA was also a name for one of the attempts to bring back Dogpatch USA? Yeah, that was the David Hare crazy scam.

Just as they stole the name of Main Street USA, David Hare stole the name of Heritage USA, kind of unreferred to for his even less built theme park. Yeah, less built, but I'm sure the thinking was also like well if we get people to associate it you know this thing was very popular for a short period of time oh completely yeah yeah then you might be confused wait is it that is that coming back also because i told you i was looking up hey what's up with holy land experience and what's up with the arc encounter now i can't believe that there were no results

when i googled david hare jail i was sure that guy it's taken it so i don't know maybe he escaped maybe he those puppets that he made maybe he like is uh hiding in one he's like posing as an animatronic uh somewhere maybe in the precious moments chat i think all i think about is the video down in dog patch which is his fox first of all the song is good yeah and the second i just picture him driving that car himself around america and he's having a great time trying to suss out people's interest yeah like hey do you need a theme park built yeah do you need a pack of original ip sure which as we've established we would answer the call david yes call us to burbank and we'll happily climb in and try to start dog pet well let's then we'll go straight to this church of

scientology get an immediate billion dollar grant drive to hemet and start building the king and then they'll be like we'll be like the the kings of of religious theme parks we'll be on like we're winning theo awards like the three of us will kind of be posed like back to back like we're the gurus that can bring your religion into the theme park world and it'll be a whole new income source for us i mean i think that it seems like it's a it's a move that you can make if you've failed in other avenues yes and i look i don't want to call us failures but i will universal hasn't yeah look we just haven't gotten a lot of bites no bites this is what we got to do, if this is, no, I shouldn't phrase it like that. What we need to do is transcend those flawed companies and work in pursuit of something greater.

Exactly. Yes. So we're open for business. Yeah. And that's why we are officially now. All right. You survived praise the ride. Right.

I think there was no accident we had that phrase at the beginning no accident we are now very religious what religion it doesn't matter whichever one you bring to us don't ever land on yeah but we are very religious a very religious show now it's just the the storyboards it's it's literally just we took screen grabs from the by the world a Coke where everyone's holding hands. It's just a big shot. Isn't that enough? That image, that's what we are.

That's what we're pitching you to scam, I mean, to help you. That's a good, I feel like Michael Jackson, I think, talked about wanting to adopt a child from every nation in the world that's what we should say that there'll be a day a year where a child from each nation in the world comes and they they come for free but the only caveat they have to hold hands for yeah three straight hours it's it's obviously also he thought of that because he went on small world too many times that's definitely where he got the idea. Mine will be better because it'll be real. Right.

Yes. I think that's... I'm assuming at some point he expressed the desire to make all the Disney World and Disneyland rides real. I want to have a pirate from every... Bring pirates of all shapes and sizes. We'll invite the pirates here to Neverland. And we'll make them good with the power of music. We'll invite the pirates here to Neverland and we'll make them good with the power of music. They'll become nice

pirates. They'll make peace with the townsfolk. Yes. And hold hands all day, every day. The brooms will be lowered and used solely for sweeping. Okay. So, for more about

PTL-themed ministries, you can follow us. We've got to keep the handle, because that's where the followers are. So for now, the socials are at Podcast the Ride. Increasingly religious merch will be available in our T-Pub. Yes, right, yes.

And we want to make you a PTL partner And you can start that journey By going to Podcast The Ride Theheavenlygateatpatreon.com Slash Podcast The Ride Yeah, and sending us a love gift For our extra content You give us

Think of now when you give us money On the Patreon as a love gift That's a love gift And that money is gonna We're gonna melt that down Into a beautiful forest green Now when you give us money on the Patreon, it's a love gift. That's a love gift, and that money is going to... We're going to melt that down into a beautiful forest green and mix it up right into God's paint pot. That's right.

We need a bigger paint pot. We're going to need a bigger paint pot. We're going to need a bigger paint pot. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com

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