Podcast: The Ride - Kennywood with Jon Daly

Episode Date: January 19, 2018

A jaunt to the Keystone State takes a turn into Garfield's Nightmare as we discuss Kennywood with Jon Daly (Kroll Show, A Futile And Stupid Gesture). Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning, the following podcast may contain eye-eating parasites, a husky cat's waking nightmare, Scott's indulgent soliloquy about Mike Love, and a rollicking discussion of Pittsburgh institution Kennywood with guest John Daly. Strap in. It's Podcast The Ride, a show starring three guys so pale when we go on the Haunted Mansion we're mistaken for ghosts. I'm joined as always by Mike Carlson. Howdy ho. And Jason Sheridan.

Hello there. We're going to run out of little quick... There's only so many options you can do of the check-in. Yeah. Hit me with two more real fast. Mike Carlson. Hey there. And Jason Sheridan.

Good day, mate. Oh, yeah, your classic Australian. My classic Australian. I love when people... Jason Sher classic Australian. My classic Australian. I love when people- Jason Sherrod Australian. When people unprovoked just talking Cockney or Australian accents, like the funny guy in your office. It's not at all a hell.

I find the modern equivalent of that is more like family guy voice guy who will do like Stewie voice more than Australian accent. More than just a general- Oh, okay. Victory is mine or something. That's pretty bad. who will do like Stewie voice more than Australian accent. More than just a general, but probably, victory is mine or something. That's pretty bad. I do think it's funny if someone describes family,

you know, like family guy. Hey, Lois. Like if someone just thought it was early impression. Or somebody just sings the entire theme song. Yeah. It seems today.

Yeah. Well, there's a lot of annoying ways to start podcasts or be annoying in an office. A lot of ways to be annoying. But you know what? I don't want to talk about any of that. I'm in a great mood. I'm in a great glowing mood.

I'm excited about our guest, John Daly. And I've just come off of a wonderful couple of days, a wonderful weekend. And I wanted to share it with everybody how special it's been. First of all, on Sunday, I got to stop by a place called the Van Eaton Galleries. And if you're in Los Angeles, go to the Van Eaton Galleries in Sherman Oaks, which is a place where you can actually bid on and purchase Disneyland memorabilia. But the other cool thing is they leave it out for you to look at. It's just like a museum until the auction happens, and you can look at all these neat Disneyland props.

For example, you can look at the shell of an Autopia car. It's not working. The vehicle mechanics are not in it. You can look at just that green shell. You can look at molding from the Country Bear Jamboree. Now you got me interested.

There we are. What else do they got right now? There's a Tower of Terror check-in desk. Holy shit. Yeah. It actually is like you could recreate kind of the entire California Adventure Tower of Terror lobby with items. They have big lamps that are covered in cobwebs. They have the shelves where you put letters for guests at the Hollywood Hotel. Yeah, if you had hundreds of thousands of dollars to burn,

you could make your own Hollywood Tower of Terror. But I went because I wanted to see an old dear friend. Probably the big ticket item at this year's auction is Fuzzball, who, if you don't know, and if you don't know, get with the program. Look up Fuzzball, who, if you don't know, and if you don't know, get with the program. Look up Fuzzball. But Fuzzball is a little orange sort of tiger, flying tiger creature who is part of Captain EO's team, part of Captain EO's gang in the beloved 3D film with Michael Jackson. He's a little flying guy in optical effect who kind of talks in a little squeak.

He says, like, bye-bye at the end. That wasn't a good fuzzball. But, look, he's a delight. He plays the bass at some point in the movie and sings along to the Michael Jackson song, We're Here to Change the World. Anyway, getting to see a fuzzball in person was such a delight, and I encourage you guys to stop by there, too. Is it an official fuzzball from the shooting? Does it specify if it was a recreated fuzzball, or is it actually this is the fuzzball in the movie? Do we know?

It certainly seems like it. I didn't see any statements qualifying which fuzzball it was or wasn't, but it was a full body. Whatever it is, it's immaculately made. I can only assume it was in at least one shot. I hope it's the one that was playing the bass, but there's no way to affirm that necessarily. But through the magic of trick photography, I got to make it seem like fuzzball was on my shoulders, just like Captain EO himself. It's nice to feel like the captain for a second.

Sure, yeah, we all want to feel like a captain once in a while yeah for sure I saw some of the online catalog for this auction and I was excited by the number of new hire packets from throughout the decades for sale so you could cosplay like I just got hired to work at Disneyland in 1976. I saw one of them and it specifies, you know, no beards on men and no opinions on women. No communists, period. What is the suggested or the starting price for the auctions for both of, for Fuzzball and for these documents? I think the doc, some of the document stuff was pretty affordable. Like you could also get like a a run of the cast member magazine.

I don't know if we're talking complete runs, but under $100 probably. Really? That sort of stuff. This is starting bid, though. Right. Fuzzball, I feel like I saw something online where it was at least $10,000. That might be lower. Fuzzball is starting at $50,000.

Starting at $50,000. Starting at $50,000. And it will only grow. So if you are an extremely wealthy Captain EO aficionado, something that I'd like to be one day. I got half of that equation figured out. But if I had $500,000 that I could easily burn, then perhaps I'd go get me a fuzzball. I went to this auction. I'm sure I've talked about it, but I went to the auction and I bid on and won

two signs that were outside the Magic Eye Theater in Epcot that say, Caution, Doors Open Automatically. And it's in the Epcot font that I love so much. You can put a light in it. It lights up. I do it every night. It relaxes me. It's my night light. It really is. When the light goes on, that means relax.

It's like putting on a sign that says it's five o'clock somewhere. It's a neon bar sign. And to to win an auction is also it was terribly exciting. And I was with a lot of people who were doing it very humorlessly, just like kind of like raising their sign and adding to their pile. I sat in this auction for four hours, and I was the only person who, when I won, went YES! I did a touchdown dance, got up on the chair, found the person

I was bidding against, shoved him out of the store, said, eat my signs, bitch. And there you have it. So, I should also mention my friend David Love. We were talking about the Van Eden Art Galleries. He told me he actually won one of the employment forms that you're talking about. And it's one from the 60s where you have to check a box saying that you're not a communist. Oh, I made that joke unprovoked.

Like, just, wow. It's real. Yeah, my friend knows this. That's actually, that came up recently because that is still a law on the California books for, I believe, state employees. You are not allowed to be a member of the Communist Party and a local politician won a smaller seat on the ticket of the Communist Party of America or something like that. Whoa, whoa. Couldn't have gotten in at Disneyland, though.

Yeah. Anyway, and speaking of 1960s culture, this is only tangentially related, but if I didn't use my podcast as a platform to talk about this, I'd be remiss. In addition to meeting the fuzzball i also last night uh got to meet the legend the one the only mike love singer of the beach boys and i'm sure i've mentioned the beach boys and my affection for the beach boys at some point

on this podcast but i'm still glowing from this i'm 20 i'm within 24 hours of having met Mike Love. You might have to ascribe the quality of being the villain of the Beach Boys story, and your brain is racing. What would I say to Mike Love if I ever ran into Mike Love? Do I say something weird? Do I make some

dig? And instead I said, you know, my dad and I listen to you guys all the time. We love your music. My friend Danny Jelenic, who I was with, said, you know, my dad and I listen to you guys all the time. We love your music. My friend Danny Jelenic, who I was with, said, hey, Good Vibrations is a great song. I said, thanks. Shook his hand. He told me, oh, I guess the music trend sends generations. I said, it sure does, Mike.

A very normal thing for someone to say about their own work. It's a very broad thing to say about the work of the Beach Boys. He's kind of that way in general. His comments were sort of, it was like, you know, we go to France and people are singing along in France. They don't know about T-Birds there. That's still your comment at this point in time? Anyways, just a landmark weekend for myself.

How did you get to meet him? This was at the Grammy Museum at LA Live. There was a Q&A supporting his new album, Unleash the Love. He played selections from the album and brought up many of his sons and daughters to come sing with him. He has a lot of sons and daughters.

He's been spreading the love for years. He's been unleashing the love on so many women since 1961. He buys a new hat every time he has a new child. He buys a new hat every time he has a new child. He had a book out too recently, right?

Did you read that book? Oh yeah, he plugged that too. Good Vibrations. My Life as a Beach Boy. Yeah, alright. He gets real creative with these titles. But yeah, we got to watch

an acoustic set. He sang with Bruce Johnston, one of the other Beach Boys. And yeah, and performed the holiday classic Little Saint Nick. And then we all got to meet him. A very bizarre thing is we were in this line with a family who were all mega Bruce Johnston fans. Wow. Who was kind of a late addition to the Beach Boys came on in 1965. And these these girls much younger than I, these like 15 year old girls who were all dressed the same.

It was sort of a little culty. I'm not going to lie. But they were all like shaking because they just met Bruce Johnston, 70 year old. That's a lifetime. Yeah. I don't know. And the mom was just like, what can I say? They're big Johnston heads. You're kidding. What happened to this family? What lightning were they struck by? I mean, no offense to Bruce Johnston. Bruce Johnston, writer of the song Disney Girls, to tie it back to the theme park world.

Hey, they also used to perform at Disneyland a lot back in the early days, them and the Osmonds. Donnie and Marie. Uh-huh, uh-huh. There's a video of somebody's playing, like, Down on the Corner on Disneyland. Is it them or is it just Donny and Marie? The Credence Clearwater song, Down on the Corner. That seems like a thing Donny and Marie would do.

It might be a Donny and Marie I'm thinking of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beach Boys didn't do a lot of covers. That's true. You're right, you're right. When you got your own stack of tracks to play, when you got your own big hits, why deviate from the formula?

And they were the backing band for Annette on The Monkey's Uncle. Yes, which is a Disney movie. So we're tying it. We're tying it. That was the Beach Boys or the Monkees? The Beach Boys. The Monkees.

It would have been a little too perfect if it was the Monkees singing Monkees. A little on the nose. That may have been pre the invention of the monkeys, though. Yeah. This actually does all tie back together because I believe there's there's some history between monkey Mickey Dolenz and the park that we're talking about today. Kenny would. But hey, we'll leave you with that cliffhanger.

Mickey Dolenz. How does he connect to Pittsburgh's Kenny Wood? you with that cliffhanger. Mickey Dolenz, how does he connect to Pittsburgh's Kenny Wood? That's a cliffhanger you'll have to find out after the break when we return with our guest, John Daly. All right, we are back, and we are joined today by our amazing guest. So excited to have him. An incredible actor, writer, very funny man. And, of course, you know him from 13th Child, Legend of the Jersey Devil. Here he is, John Daly, ladies and gentlemen.

How's it going, guys? Oh, boy. Thank you so much for being here. Excited to be here, and thanks for holding the torch for amusement parks. Yay. For American amusement. Thanks for... Somebody's gotta, you know, these complicated times we live in.

And, you know, remember you can escape all your troubles with a trip to your local amusement fun fair. Yeah. Yeah, which we're here to talk to you about one that's a place that you probably escaped a lot of troubles at your whole life, your whole childhood and upbringing, a magical place called Kennywood. Kennywood Park. Kennywood Park. That's right. America's favorite picnic park is something I saw said about it in old black and white footage I watched somewhere.

That might not be an accurate statement or anything they still say today or a slogan they use. Yeah, that was as fun as it got at a certain point. Having a nice picnic. 1908, it was like, we had a picnic. It was insane that was as much fun as you could have the the invention of radio or television eating outside was very fun we had three baskets sandwiches weather was great very fine very was going to say, based on your intro, the amusement parks are essentially fairs that don't move. Yeah.

That never ends. They're immovable. I'm sure you've covered this. No, not necessarily. Not really. Well, that's elemental. That's true. This is a 101, and we missed it. You're right.

Fairs that don't move. This was a thing that Walt Disney talked about when he opened Disneyland is that it is a permanent fair and that there was only one entrance to. He did not like people like when a county fair or something happens, people just coming at it from all angles. Right. It's confusing. I just went to the L.A. County Fair. I couldn't remember where I came in. Was it the red gate?

Was it the yellow gate? You don't have that problem at Disneyland. Only one way to the L.A. County Fair. I couldn't remember where I came in. Was it the Red Gate? Was it the Yellow Gate? You don't have that problem at Disneyland. Only one way to get in. Yeah. Pretty cool. Yeah. Unless there's a fire. Yeah, yeah.

Then every way. Disneyland-wide, like the bricks are on fire. Like it's really, really hot. Which is very grim to say because the city is on fire as we record this. There's a 400,000-acre fire burning right now, and it took me an extra 40 minutes to get here. Holy shit. Guys, some advice to all of you, everyone listening,

take service streets, baby. Don't F. Los Angeles is a zoo. Yep. Got to be careful out there. Another fun fact about Disneyland, though, is built right along the Five, because that was the main thoroughfare through Southern California at the time.

Probably wasn't as crowded as it is today. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, there wasn't always a big old fire. What I heard about the 110 is that Buster Keaton started the original 110 for his train movie. I forget. It was like the Great Locomotive or whatever. I forget. It was like the great locomotive or whatever. I think that he built the 110.

Or maybe it was a movie called like Automobile or something like that. Wow. But I think that Buster Keaton built the 110. And then they expanded it, of course. But that's why it's so thin and terrible and dangerous. You mean like through Pasadena. It's really like one lane. It's really hard to merge onto.

Yeah. And it goes through downtown up to Pasadena. Yeah, yeah. It was. It's really hard to merge onto. Yeah. Yeah. And it goes through downtown up to Pasadena. Yeah. Yeah. It was just a prop set freeway. Yeah. We're all driving on a freaking set from a maniac from 1910s or whatever. That makes sense.

There's that one part of the 110 where you have to merge to get on another freeway and you essentially have to make a 90 degree turn. I believe that's also when you go into a tunnel that is, uh, from Roger Rabbit. The exits are for full on crank cars. Like with those engines that you go, they're like, just like cars where you can just like reach out and high five people, shake hands as you go by. A very fast runner could outrun the fastest car back then. All of Los Angeles is a universal backlot tour, basically,

where you're riding the movies when you're on the 110, literally. There's history everywhere. Here's a fact about the 105 freeway. When they built that freeway, they had to take down the home of the Beach Boys in Hawthorne, California. That was something that was talked about last night at the Mike Love Q&A that I went to, which we covered before you got here. I know all about this, sort of. But I would love to hear your detail.

I already did my time on it. Oh, so we can't spend more time on it? Oh, okay. I guess I'm the guest. No, I'm just kidding. You know, John's only right. I love it. He should dictate what we do.

We should do 20 more minutes on Mike Love. That's fine. You guys are fine with that. Tell me one love fact. Just wet my love a tight. He said how when he was with the Maharishi and the Beatles, that Paul McCartney took him aside and said, you've got to get that album art under control.

He thought the Beach Boys album covers weren't good. And this was right in the wake of Sergeant Pepper as class instant classic of an album cover as that was. And Mike stood firm. He was like, well, you know what? We think what's inside the cover is more important. Whoa. They're both right. Yeah.

And McCartney did the best album cover and the best album indisputably at the same time. So what is that? McCartney did? Sergeant Pepper. One of the best. It's not a music podcast. You gotta get your covers up.

You gotta get your covers. Mike Louv. That was just a nag. That was just a get under He was just like Oh fuck this guy Yeah You gotta get your covers He's gonna think he is

He's gonna smile Come over here Come over here baby blue You gotta get your covers under control He was like No I don't think we do John I got under his skin I like the beach lineup

With the big surfboard That's what we're doing I like the beach lineup with the big surfboard. That's what we're doing. I like showing a picture of the beach on our covers. Anyway, guys, Kennywood Park. Kennywood Park. I mean, I grew up in Pittsburgh in the North Hills. Kennywood is in West Mifflin, and I remember it as being a kid, being like, this is a long drive. It was like one hour from my place.

And yeah, I have great memory. I mean, going there since I was probably three years old, you know, like it was a big like middle school horny time. I can't imagine. We've covered these like local parks are just, everyone's horny. It was all about, like once I hit seventh grade, it would like, we'd walk around and just be like,

oh boy. Those Kennywood babes. Those girls. It's so weird. Did things work out for you? No, but I have so many moments, just memories of like tents, like rides on the Jackrabbit and like, who are you going to sit next to on the log jammer? You know, which the log jammer just closed.

We rest in peace. Wow. The it's a log for the Kennywood log flume called the log jammer. It was a ride that was good when it came out in like 1940. And yeah, like Kennywood is a mixture of classic coasters, wooden coasters from the, like, 20s and 30s. They're like a lot of the Cyclone in Coney Island. And they're rattly. And one's called the Jackrabbit.

And it, like, basically, like, makes you slip a disc. It's, like, a terrible roller coaster. Even when I was a kid, I was like, my back hurts after it. Those old ones will get to you. If they aren't, even the best kept up old wooden roller coasters are kind of nightmares for your body at this point. Like even coasters that are 20 years old are still bad. There was one at Knott's that I went on that's a very mild one, but it did feel like all my vertebrae were very compressed. It just went up a half and then down again and it crushed my neck.

It was really horrible. Are you guys coaster guys who are like, I like that clackety clack? Or are you just, I like the smooth, crazy ones? It's not a real coaster unless you're fucked up afterward. Yeah. That's the way we feel. I feel like I'm going to die. Yeah, yeah.

We're mainly about theming and nice landscaping and that kind of thing. It's not about thrills and Gs. We like nice landscaping and that kind of thing. It's not about like thrills and Gs. We like nice sets and signs. I like the coasters, but as I get older, like I feel worse and worse every time I ride them. I have never been to Kennywood, but it does seem, it is an interesting mix of these rides that have been there forever, rides that are newer, but homages to rides that were there

before a great fire or something and then some licensing mixed like a Lego movie simulator theater I feel like Kennywood I haven't been there so I can't I have no idea but I they they were never I mean at least when I was growing up like they were never spot

but I guess that started in like probably the late 90s or something yeah that everything was like universal yeah what was your last trip? What was your last Kennywood trip? It was probably in high school. And there was also a... No, the last trip that I made to Kennywood Park was for my freaking physics class, where we had accelerometers that we made, and we had to ride all the freaking...

It was Science Day. Science Day at Kennywood. So we ride all the freaking it was science day science day at kennywood so we ride all the coasters it was like all right take your accelerometer on the thunderbolt and like see like the average way it swings or whatever and we made these like accelerometers out of like a little weight and straw or whatever and it was just that that was it so it was like but we got to go there in the morning and wait in no lines and sit in the front and like all that stuff and like then you sit in the back and see the difference did you learn anything did it actually shine a light on i don't remember dick drop out of school everybody at the seventh grade exactly one interesting thing i just read i'm on

the wikipedia page on my phone here and it, well, Kenny Wood now uses the slogan, America's finest amusement park, as well as the slogan, and this is very Philip K. Dick slogan, make a new memory. Oh, wow. You know, make a new memory. That's kind of an odd existential. That's right out of Valis. Yeah, right out of VALIS. Yeah, it really is. Right out of the satellite, firing a laser into your brain. Create a conglomerate memory.

Live your life in five seconds. We're watching this video. There's a video where I got a lot of my info from called Kennywood Memories. Check that out on YouTube. It's in many parts, but there's a part where a ride operator guy is sort of oddly, creepily, harshly saying, like, Kennywood's just one of those places just always

gonna be there. It's always gonna exist. That's right. You have to quote. This guy has a harsh, like, a Pittsburgh accent that sounds like it's from, like, 1890. It's like, there's a Pittsburgh accent that's a it's from 1890. It's like there's a Pittsburgh accent that's a very distinct kind of regional accent.

And this guy's just like, Kane was always going to be here. It's always just going to exist. Very angry about it. He says it defiantly as if the interviewer, maybe the interviewer was goading him and challenging him right before they started recording. This thing's going to shut down soon, right? Yeah.

You're out of a job, old man. As soon as this documentary is recorded. The Johnny Rockets in the center of the park will outlive us all. Well, I, and also, like, Kennywood was seen as slightly humiliating to me and my friends, I would say, and like, if you were really an adult, you would go to Cedar Point, you know, where they have the magnum and the insane, like, real deal new roller coasters, because Kennywood, until they got the Steel Phantom,

was their first new school roller coaster. So when I was like, probably in seventh grade or something like that, they got that, and that was like, I was still like in the zone to go to Kennywood, definitely. And get all horny and be like, wearing a big, I wore like, you know, a Nike shirt that went down on my knees at that time. That was my style. Like, you know, and like, high tops.

How was the hair? Because we're watching all this documentary, Kennywood Memories. There's a lot of weird old like ratty mullets and buzz cuts. Oh, yeah. Pittsburgh was hair just like it was like a, you know, a cornucopia of like just. I mean, the big look that I saw that I recognized from like early 90s uh late 80s was spiked up with gel and then a little bit of a mullet like spiked up and then you see and i remember seeing like adults back then and being like whoa that guy thinks he's cool like that but um but yeah the hair was was

amazing and the girls had fluffy kind of like uh big hairspray bang, like comb right in the front of their forehead. Oh, with kind of like some odd caked in swoop or shape that they put a lot of time into, a lot of spray into. That same documentary, I was flipping through it today and there was a quote that I have to read. You're looking at a bunch of sort of buzz cut mulleted kids and the narrator very plainly says this phrase. Imagine looking at this copy in the VO booth. These young men are here for the Saint of Fancy's altar boy picnic and they can tell you how to get wet on the log jammer. Oh, gee. Well, that is really amazing.

I mean, that's great. Yeah, as you're looking at uh like like seven boys all like tussling and wrestling around the extras from heavy metal parking lot like the people in the background are there for the altar boy yeah background oh yeah oh yeah yeah everyone looked like that the altar boy picnic what a time those altar boys have cool hair it's the only way they can express themselves because otherwise they're wearing those big drapey man dresses

basically. How do you describe an altar boy uniform? Were you an altar boy? No, I was not. Anybody here? No. No. My cousins were. My cousins were, but I avoided that. I went to CCD though. Oh yeah. I had a lot of friends who did CCD. I grew up on the other side. I grew up CCD though. Oh yeah. CCD. I had a lot of friends

who did CCD. I grew up on the other side. I grew up outside of Philadelphia. Oh okay. That's another accent. Yeah. Oh yeah. My Philly accent

is just an impression of John Worcester doing Philly Boy Rides. Same here. Oh yeah. Yeah. The Eagles. You're going to get a cheese stick

at the Eagles game? Yeah. He's getting ass sheets. Yeah. It also is an impression of my Aunt Linda. It sounds exactly like that. That's awesome. A living stereotype.

Yeah, a living stereotype. But yeah, I remember kids going, it's like, hey, do you want to do something after school? And they're like, no, I've got CCD. And I'm like, what is that? And they're like, well, it's kind of like religious school. And I'm like, you have to leave school and go to a different school there was a certain point before I started CCD that I thought CCD was cool

yeah when my friends were like you go somewhere after whoa seems like cool people go to that CCD learn about this cool guy Jesus totally chill guy and it's like not necessarily a nun.

Like you could have a lay teacher, man. You might not get hit by a ruler the whole time. No, but I remember distinctly in CCD, not to get too off topic, but when did this guy, Matt Frederick, that went to my, I guess, middle school at that point he was like always wearing like a uh like uh what are those fucking horrible metal but like at least mega death but like more like janky like uh like um there's one called like uh what's the cannibal corpse or something no but like pre that kind of like it was like mega death was probably the pot most but it was never striker never anthrax or anything like that it was like a lower rung it was like hades man it was just like weird and he one day he wore but

anyway one day he wore a guns and roses shirt and it was has skulls on it right and he made sure to wear these death shirts to like cc he was clearly a rebel and the teacher was like we had this teacher this lay teacher that was like um excuse me matt okay who was okay who was on your shirt you wore a shirt again who was on your shirt it's a rose and she's like okay who are the people in that band and he goes well it's a guy's roses and she's like okay who are the people in that band and he goes well it's Axl and it's Slath and Def and his dream question

literally his dream question and then she goes okay we are going to all okay say a prayer okay so everyone bow your heads

we're going to pray for the members of that band because they have imagery that tells me that they're bad people so we all said a prayer for literally, like, by name,

every member. Which is a pretty cool thing to do. Like, bless Duff McKagan? Yeah. Wow. As if he wasn't blessed enough. Of course. May he play secular bass lines instead

of evil, demonic bass lines. Only major keys. God. Not minor. Hey, I'm going to throw out a couple, I'll just throw out a couple names of rides and you tell me if you've got any strong memories associated with them.

The laser loop. Laser loop was another thing that, you know, when you grow up going to Kennywood, you've got to be this tall type you know there was like a little just disturbing thing from like a disturbing care like kenny was the mascot of kennywood and it was like a kangaroo and then the other ones were like mr jeepers or i think it was literally i think it was actually mr jeepers um was just uh like yeah this is weird like it was like kind of like seeing blackface but it wasn't blackface just like a little disconcerting dark kind of like

things like that people thought was cute things that people thought were cute in like the 1910s you know boardwalk empire like the dolls back then now you see them and you're like like scare weird like cutie big eye yeah yeah it would be like you have to be this tall to be on anyway that's my memory of them i may be wrong but um it may be twisted but i was uh you know the laser loop was oh the laser loop was um like it was a test of you know you had to be a certain height i think you had to be maybe a certain age but i think i'm wrong about that like but like an american citizen two older brothers you had to sign your life away i had two older brothers who was just like yeah man i'm sick of kennywood i

just hit the laser loop you know and that though the laser loop actually sorry my bad was the first it was like an 80s roller coaster but it was like the newest thing I think we had. It wasn't yet that kind of like smooth roller coaster, but it just shot out. You shot out and they were like, put your neck back, put your head back. Like, because it makes you have whiplash basically when you take off. You're like spring loaded. So you go and you go super fast like this takeoff. Then you have one loop and then you go straight up this hill and then backwards through and then backwards again through the same loop up another hill and then it stops you.

And it would be perpetually broken because like that is just a hydraulic nightmare. Like there's no there's no it's like force it up the thing and then force it back and then force it to stop instead of like regular roller coasters which are like have one thing and then you let it go and it kind of just does its thing you know gravity it was constantly worked on and like but it was pretty exciting to go on um the thunderbolt was another like you know i'm old enough to go on the thunderbolt i'm old enough to go on. The Thunderbolt was another like, you know, I'm old enough to go on a Thunderbolt. I'm old enough to go on the Laser Loop now. Now I'm a man and I've lived my life and now I die.

Now the Laser Loop gives me a headache and that was that. That was my life story. Sorry, were you ever like afraid of the ride before? Like were you scared? The three of us are scared boys that like, didn't like, but were you like just raring to go or were you actually afraid of it? Once I went on like one roller coaster, I think I was ready for the Thunderbolt. I was like, I rode it.

I was like fully ready for that. And I think I went to Disney world before that and rode Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and was not old enough for Space Mountain, perhaps. Or no, maybe I rode Space Mountain. I rode Space Mountain and then I was like, I can do the laser loop. The laser loop's more insane than Space Mountain. Yeah, for sure. The laser loop feels like you're going to die. Space Mountain's pretty chill.

The fun you get with these local parks is like the possibility that you might die because of operator error. Yeah. Or because the thing just collapses under you. Yeah. A thing you don't fear at Disney as much, although there have been a lot of Disney deaths over the years. Right. Stuff's gotten a lot safer. I know you guys from Jersey Action Park.

Oh, Traction Park. Traction Park. Traction Park. It was just, I've seen pictures, and I think I watched a little from Jersey Action Park. Oh, Traction Park. Traction Park, yeah. Traction Park. It was just, I've seen pictures, and I think I watched a little mini documentary about it, and it was insane. Yeah, people were constantly being injured or dying at this park,

and it closed for a while. But it was like water slides. It was like weirdly hybrid. It wasn't coasters, right? I don't know if there were coasters. There was water slides, and every now and then they'd be like, we have a brand new kind of slide. And it clearly hadn't been tested enough.

It was like, we put a jump on a hill. And it's like, we've got go-karts, the fastest go-karts, and no helmets. It's just like stuff set up for disaster. We figured out how to make water slipperier. Yeah. We waxed up this jump. It's just a gap between parts of the slide tracks. You have to like skip part of the, you just shoot over a missing piece.

Even Great Adventure in New Jersey, like the Six Flags Park has had like tons of incidents over the years. And I also, I think we brought it up on a, another episode talking about like great adventure. Like, yeah, they had a lot of crazy coasters where, yeah,

maybe it goes backwards or maybe it just goes really fast or really high. And every time you add an extra element like that, there's tons more maintenance you have to do. I forgot to mention six flags, great adventure right next door to the main park has a safari park where you would drive your car through and wild animals roam around.

And often time orangutans or monkeys of some sort will just beat up your car. They'll just snap off the et cetera, break the glass. I think eventually they put up more gates between the people and animals. But yeah, so on top of the accident-prone roller coasters,

there was also wild animals in a very cold part of the country for much of the year. So much of frost. If you flew off a ride and then landed in a pen with a bunch of frost-bitten orangutans and rhinoceroses to stomp your face. I would imagine that the pitch for the park was just like,

hey, it's like a zoo, but you can drive your car through it. You can just freeze. I think there were a lot of those across the country for a while. Yeah, for sure. There was one in Irvine for a long time. Really? That's where the Irvine Meadows concert venue is now. You can just drive your car through a bunch of monkeys?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. You can run over them if you want. You're allowed, you can kill two animals, not three. Right. That's where it crosses the line. We can breed new ones to replace them.

I remember in this country when you could kill three animals. What's happening to the America that I know? It's very hard to kill even one. All I can kill is like crickets and shit. Those ain't animals. Those's very hard to kill even one. All I can kill is like crickets and shit. Those ain't animals. Those are too small to be animals. Basically worms. I feel like if it was 60 years ago and you went to Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge, which

is their animal themed hotel where you see giraffes out the window. Walk up to your window. 60 years ago, you could shoot them probably. 60 years ago, they would have let you brought a gun in and killed the animals. Yeah. Because it was lawless. They'd give you $5. They're helping us out.

Take one of those snowman machines and wrap a wire around a giraffe's neck. Oh man, the snowman machine. Got a snowman reference in. Gave you all the clues. Gave you Mr. Police. Gave you all clues. Where's the you Mr. Police. Mr. Police. Gave you all clues.

Where's the ride about the snowman? Where's the snowman haunted house? Yeah, I want a Universal Studios ride. Like, it's a snowman. You just get garrotted like 40 times. Next year, Halloween Horror Nights. Now, that's the term, garrotted. We're going to wait in line to get our picture with Detective Inspector Harry Hole.

Is it Harry? Is it Hole? Is it Hollay? It is Hollay. I think it might just be Hull. I think they don't even do an accent. I have read one of those books and I feel like that is a gag in all of the books. Where he meets an American or an Australian and they go like, your last name's Hull?

And he's like, well, it's Hollay. But then they go like, alright, whatever. I think they dropped it in the film. Maybe they dropped it. Maybe it's just Harry Hull. Was that one of the clues they gave? Yeah. Keep going down the rabbit hole of clues.

So, let's talk about a attraction that is not a death defying attraction that's appropriate for all ages, the Noah's Ark. Right. Do you guys come across this

in any Pennywood findings? Yeah, this is basically like a fun house that is teetering back and forth at all times, shaped like a big ark. There's one part that's teetering, yes. Which is the ark. That's the ark, but you have to go, to get onto the arc, you walk into a whale's mouth.

So it starts with Jonah, right? As all fun experiences do. Right. Yes, we begin with Jonah. Your favorite CCD characters. Yeah. And then the tongue is bouncy. And then you walk into the thing.

And then you're in a little, I think a mountain kind of thing. And then you, like, make the transfer to being on Noah's Ark, which sways back and forth and has, like, shaking floors. And, like, chicken wire enclosed, like, dioramas of just kind of animals that look kind of dumb. And not, like, yeah, just, there's no, it's trying to scare you a little bit, but it's more like it's a challenging floor to walk across or whatever. It's vibrating and, you know, it's, yeah,

it's child's play is what it is. It's like a, it's a dark walk, and then they have one of those things where you, I think you walk on a bridge and everything around you is turning. So you're walking straight on a bridge, but everything is through a big cylinder. So that's turning and you just kind of like, you feel weird. And then on the outside, it's very adorable. I think it was like from the 1930s or something like that.

They were like, Noah's Ark, something we all can enjoy. Something from the Old Testament. Yes. What do you got over there, Mike? I think this, I looked up Noah's Ark, and it was like, is this Noah? That's Noah. His head pops out of the window. His head pops out of the window, and it's just a headless, toothless man.

I think that's, unless that's an accident. He looks like a funny, crazy man. He's like. Yeah, but he's terrifying. Noah was insane. That's not my picture. That's not my Noah. Who knows that Noah wasn't terrifying? That's the point. He had to build that thing. 40 cubits long.

20 cubits wide, as far as I know. That's a lot of work. That'll be crazy. A lot of stress, and boy, what a boss riding him. The big man up the stairs. Yeah, that's his boss That's a lot of kibitz. A lot of stress. And boy, what a boss riding him, huh? The big man upstairs. The big man upstairs. Yeah, that's his boss. So maybe he's not so happy-go-lucky. My job ain't exactly chill, okay?

I'm not a working-home computer technician or nothing. It's hard, okay? They just redid Noah's Ark. They just cleaned it up. They just redid it and refurbished it a few years ago I was reading. They did indeed. Well, that movie Noah came out so they made it Noah.

I mean, America loved that movie Noah. That was a huge movie. So much water effects. Oh man, Crow Connelly? You kidding me? The beautiful mind pairing back together? Oh, really? Oh, it is. That's right. Amazing. It was a reunion.

It was cool that they got that. Just thinking of them on set. There was so much gossip about that set. I know. Have they remet yet? Are the old sparks flying like they used to be in ABM days? Aronofsky, you're crazy for this one. I like to watch Noah and then watch Passion of the Christ.

Caviezel. Oh, yeah. Just get Catholic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I like that you watch them in biblical order. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get an Abraham movie going.

Let's get a Cain and Abel. There's so many franchises. When are we going to get to all the great Bibles? Cain and Abel is more of a sketch. Probably couldn't sustain. It's a three-pillow comic. Or maybe a limited run, like a little three-episode FX miniseries or something. Or you have them solve mysteries in the Bible times.

Oh, that's a good update. You know, like the Hardy Boys. It's Cain and Abel. Gender flop them as well. Why not? Yeah, why aren't they women? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cain's a cool name

for a lady. And so is Abel. God damn it. Why not flip the scripture? Jesus Christ. That's the tagline of Cain and Abel. The new adventures of Cain and Abel. Flip the scripture.

Directed by Mel Gibson. You know, John, I know you just went back to Pittsburgh. You were part of this opening of an improv theater, and you were hobnobbing with the big local stars of Pittsburgh. Yeah. And I was on the Kennywood YouTube channel watching the rededication of Noah's Ark, and who should be there but two people I remember you mentioning to me uh local broadcaster Rick Seaback Rick Seaback and Pittsburgh legend and Pittsburgh dad uh

local character Pittsburgh dad who is Pittsburgh dad I I met Rick Seaback well Rick Seaback is a Pittsburgh legend kind of like he's the the spiritual heir to like mr roger fred rogers and was friends with him and it's kind of like does a show called um things that aren't there anymore and it's like on pbs i think that's national and he does like he's like basically a pittsburgh his he's among along the lines of hugh hauser um and he uh did kind of we did an ass ass cat style show, which is a show where somebody did his monologues and we do improv. And so he did the monologues and he was so great. No kidding. That's great.

That's really cool. And then Pittsburgh Dad is the best. And he invited me to be in one of his Pittsburgh Dad videos, which are huge. He's had like all the Steelers and whatever. Like he's hilarious. He is. Kurt Wooten and those like he does

like a response video to every Steelers game you know winner loss he's just kind of like what was that down there

just talking smack on like just talk smack in his videos so well this is funny and I got to do like a Pittsburgh accent

that's so fun if you watch at the opening ceremony he plays Noah he like tells he's Pittsburgh as noah oh that's great yeah so i was glad i knew about these pittsburgh things so i could recognize all the pittsburgh stars yeah what i'm thinking though is that you're now you're getting down with the with the local uh with the pittsburgh celebrities i i want to if there's any way to use this podcast to get the red carpet rolled out for you John Daly the next time you go to Kennywood

Is there like a Is there anything you would want to do if you were to be greeted as a king? I want to roll up to Kennywood in a Uber X Not even black. You're being very reasonable. Yeah, with the red carpet rolled out,

with Kenny on the carpet, the mayor of Pittsburgh, declaring it John Daly Day, give me the key to the city, which I toss in my fanny pack. Like it ain't nothing. And I'm fully dressed like a cartoon tourist. And I kind of breeze by everyone who's trying to shake my hand. Don't got time.

Sorry, guys. I'm fixing my hair while I'm doing it. And I'm like, hey, see ya. And then. You're ignoring Pittsburgh Steelers and Pirates who have come for this occasion. Kent DeColvi weeps one tear. Also at this Noah's Arcs, I have him in my notes. Kent DeColvi.

Kent DeColvi. Yeah. Colvey. Kenta Colvey, yeah. He threw sidearm through those curveballs. He was part of the We Are Family, Willie Stargell type Pirates win World Series, one of the rare World Series wins.

He ain't getting that arm on you. You deny him for a handshake. Peace! Well, I would. for a handshake. Peace. Well, I would. This is my fantasy. Peace. I just stroll right up. I'm skipping Noah's Ark.

I got it memorized probably. So I'm going straight for, I'll start with a classic. Let's do the Thunderbolt. Let's get right in there. My first, you know, that's the first coaster of the day. Do the Thunderbolt. I get to ride in the front. With your accelerometer?

Next to... You're tying the whole life together. You're doing your tricks. You're doing your physics. I breeze by everybody there. I breeze by Albie Ochsenreiter. I breeze by John Fedko. I breeze by Sidney Crosby.

If it's Italian Day, do you breeze by Mr. S the Sinatra impersonator? I sure do. On Italian day. Yep. And then I greet and do a air kiss with Sally Wiggin, local broadcaster, Sally Wiggin. And we breeze and she is my seat partner.

And we start talking about everything Pittsburgh. We just talk about Pittsburgh all day. And so me and Sally Wiggin just ride. And then of course we, when we ride the racer, which is a side-by-side coaster, we are both in the front. She can be in the red and I can be in the blue. But other than that, we're riding the cars, you know. And then after, so we'd do that. Then we'd do the double racer.

Then we would do, there's a, then we would look at, but not do, do decide not to do the thing that brings you up your feet are hanging it brings you up like 300 feet into the air and just you hang there you know i'm talking about it brings you up into the air and you're like in the sitting position but you're you're like open and it just it's a big pole basically like 300 feet in the air and it lets you hang there and it drops you and you you feel weightless and it is yeah it's a big pole basically, like 300 feet in the air and it lets you hang there and then it drops you and you feel weightless. And it is the amount of time that they have designed the amount of time at the top

to be maximum human fear. And so you're like, just like, and then exactly when it should happen, you're like, dad. So I hate that. And so bypass that. I think there's there was a steel phantom which got like i think like there were like seven deaths or something like that i kind of made that up but uh now there's the phantom's revenge um which is a terrible name for those families it's like uh uh and then we'll go on that which i've heard is great i haven't been on that's

brand new and then um you know we'll just hit we'll funnel cake it up oh boy get a get a nice funnel cake get some pierogies it's very pittsburgh still and i want to think that kennywood is still hasn't been kind of like bought by disney and commodified in some way and it's still just because it did feel up to high school like oh man this is so local in the best way you know it was all like local businesses and stuff kind of like had shops there at the most and then there was also like

the old mill which is a water I'd check out the old mill and that's like a dark boat ride that is like out of the like it could be in someone's house I don't want to trip you up here but that was a horny ride

what's become of the it's kind of a tunnel of love situation is that the one we were talking about did that become the thing Garfield's Nightmare that's what this ride is now this classic Old Mill ride is now Garfield's Nightmare.

A day glow. Black light. There's no sound. I just want to play this video while we talk about it so we can all picture Garfield's Nightmare. All right. I have the official website description here. Garfield, America's favorite fat cat, lives here and he's having a nightmare. Created in bright fluorescent colors, all seen under blacklight,

this 3D experience provides a fun and colorful trip through Garfield's world, turned completely upside down. Oh, what everyone wants. Yeah. So this is Mike has a video of very grainy footage. Oh, my gosh. So just so we can picture it. So don't get too upset, John.

If you're at home, oh, yeah, don't freak out. It's a nightmare. So you're driving. Oh, Pepsi advertisements. There's a Pepsi logo. Yeah, it has Pepsi and Ruffles logos in it. And you're just driving by screens with Garfield on them. You're driving by full three- Garfield cartoons Painted day glow

And then monsters start coming out It must have taken minutes to choose the strip Alright so Garfield's eating a lot of pizza It looks like third party knock off pictures of Garfield It doesn't look like Jim Davis could be bothered to draw them They'd be airbrushed on a t-shirt instead of wedding Jim Davis is raking in cash from this. This looks like they've just subverted doing the rights to it.

They were just like, all right, let's just figure it out. If they complain. The voice, which we are not listening to, does not sound like on-brand Lorenzo music. No. It sounds like they got close-ish. Yeah. It's not that far off. Yeah.

But you're just passing by like regular, they're kind of on the scarier end of Garfield comics, but not really. Look at this though. That's a menacing dog. Right. But that's not like a Garfield thing. Not particularly.

What's funny is like Garfield's nightmare, Garfield's nightmare is just like regular Garfield comic strips. Like that's the horror? Yeah, there's a big spider though. Well, no, that's a big spider. Garfield's afraid of big spiders like any of us would be. Yeah, I mean, of course, because a big theme in Garfield is like terror. Like, yeah, famously.

It's trying to scare you. It's all about John's fear of dying alone loneliness yeah yeah dating anxiety that's

that's really what the ultimate nightmare of Garfield is yeah John the blank man's non-per am I gonna be alone just cause I'm so boring it's a fish eating

Garfield getting eaten by a fish that's the best thing so far and the most 3D thing as well and now there's oh and then you get a little break. So it's a strip. That's funny.

It makes you giggle. And then it's a scare where Garfield's getting eaten by a fish. You don't know if you're laughing or screaming at any moment in this ride. And you don't know whether you're seeing a beaker in a test tube or a bag of Fritos. Uh-oh. Pull up this ride at home if you guys are listening. A nurse with a giant needle. Whoa, and Odie's butt-fucking him.

Sorry. He's getting butt-fucked by Odie. Odie's still dumb. Stuck his tongue up his butt. That would be Garfield's nightmare, though. No! Odie is dominant over me. Giant Lichtenstein-esque panels

that you're just constantly floating by. That's a pizza. They missed an opportunity to have a lasagna. Are you joking? There's like no lasagna in this ride. I'm not a fan. One of these rooms should just be empty lasagna platters.

Like, oh no, there's no more lasagna. But it's not. I don't, like, Jim Davis, is he still alive cranking out this crap? I'm not sure if there's still new ones, but he's alive. I think there are new ones, but who knows if he's really... It but who knows if he's generator yeah right he has his nephew just go like bust out some scripts his brain's been uploaded to a computer like stephen hawking and he can he

sort of like waves his fingers yeah uh he doesn't have the issues that stephen hawking has he's just lazy like barfield he weighs 500 pounds. Connected to machines. More breakfast lasagna, please. Two minutes more of this. Good God. What a fun ride. Cat stew. Oh.

That's Garfield's. This other Garfield's nightmare is they're making him a cat stew. A bunch of mice with salt and pepper. Oh my God, it's John's on-again, off-again girlfriend at the end of the ride. Arlene is her name, right? No, that's Arlene is Garfield's girlfriend. Oh, you're right. The sexy cat.

Yeah, the sexy cat. That made me horny when I was a kid. Arlene did? The cat looks good. The pink. There's no Nermal, though. No Nermal at the ride. No Nermal.

No, Nermal's dumb, right? Nermal was nice, I think. Insufferably cute. Yeah, and Garfield wanted to get rid of Nermal. Yeah. I get Garfield's frustration. Yeah, we can all relate. I think that's why Garfield's nightmare is so, why we can all relate to it.

Let me ask you, is that better than the original ride? Is that what the old mill in Kennywood is now? Yes, the old mill is that. Oh, the original ride? Is that what the old mill in Kennywood is now? Yes, the old mill is that. Oh, I didn't realize that that was the old mill in Kennywood. They just ripped the old mill. They just sent you through the old mill. Well, I would go on that. I mean, the old mill was like, again, chicken wire and then like out in this yard

of the ride, there would be like a pirate, you know, like a treasure thing and pirate treasure with like skeletons all over it and so it was not good sounds like that's better yeah no that i think it's better yeah it would it would be it's a little trippier i guess there's more attention to detail yeah it's kind of a psychedelic ride actually it's in the small genre of psychedelic rides like the uh we were just talking the other day about uh uh the um what's that uh

whiter shade of pale no what is that knights and not whiter yeah knights and white satin there's a ride of knights and white satin are you joking no but there was there used to be theme park in south carolina freedom rock park in myrrtle Beach. If you can believe that, there was a hard rock themed park in Myrtle Beach. A Zeppelin coaster, right? There was a ride called Led Zeppelin the Ride. Wow. That's when rock was king. Yeah.

That's cool. Now it's superheroes. That's so much cooler that it was like sleazebags. Captain America is our new Robert Plant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy Page. Yeah, yeah.

Well, so, yeah, maybe this ride's an improvement. Congrats, everyone involved in Garfield's Nightmare. Yeah. You made something terrifying and... You fucked it up. But it's probably better. Can I also say there's a part in the voiceover you can hear Garfield say towards the beginning of the ride when they're letting you... They're getting you into it in the expository that Garfield ate too much, he says, I never met an ice cream truck I didn't like or lick.

That's really dumb. But he knows what ice cream trucks are. That's infuriating. Jim Davis had a butt plug in when he wrote that. It was vibrating. He was like, oh, I got to finish this for Sunday. I got a deadline. His life is just pure debauchery.

He's got like a dungeon. People are feeding him grapes. He has a sex plane that presidents go on. He's got an island. Yeah. Jim Davis Island. Well, what else? What have we not covered in Kennywood World?

It seems like just there's stuff I was reading, and I think you haven't been back. So, like, did they have a thing where you could buy, like, a Vegas cabana in the park? Yeah. That might have been, like, an early 20th century thing. It says, make a great day at Kennywood even better. And they call them cabanas, and they're with a K instead of a C. Oh, well, that's a new thing. My bad.

What is it exactly? You get a cabana? It's basically you just get a picnic bench with shade, and it's $75. But they didn't do this. This is a newer thing. That's like a VIP table you're playing. Yeah, right. Bottle service.

Exactly. But it's cotton candy service. And you get a beautiful view of Pedro's taco stand here on the website. They're trying to make it sexy to adults. Well, actually, you know what that is? That's just like so you can let your kids run around and you pay $75 so you can be in the shade all day. So that makes sense. But that's newer.

You didn't have that back in the old days. That is newer, yeah, as far as I know. Another new attraction. It says, new in 2008, Ghostwood Estate. newer you didn't have that back in the old days that is newer yeah as far as i know another uh new attraction that says new in 2008 uh ghostwood estate this eight room haunted house in pennsylvania replaces the gold rusher guests are armed with blasters which provide guests the opportunity to compete with each other in vehicles by targeting haunted characters throughout the estate now i like the idea they built like a ghost busting, a public domain style ghost busting ride.

But to me, the like Ghostwood Estate sounds like you're fighting like, you know, the Ghostwoods, the reviled family of Pennsylvania robber barons, the Ghostwoods. Oh my God, the Ghostwoods. That's a good name. Yeah. So Ghostwood Estate. And I guess it's modeled after like the big old, you know, railroad barons or the melons or stuff. Oh, that's funny.

The big old mansions. I love it. That's what I would guess. That's how Pittsburgh. It made it sound like a haunted house. It's like the Fricks or the Carnegie's. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's cool. That's lovely. And the Gold Rusher, I remember now that you mentioned that. So that was like, I think you got into cars for that, but it was a dark ride that you, it was like a dark ride that was like two floors, but there was one thrill. I think you like go,

like you take a big dip and it's like a, there was one thrill. There was one like drop or something and it was like, oh man, the drop. But then, yeah, it was one of those rides

where you were like, this was fun in 1945. Was it about the gold rush? Was it like, we got to get to this mine? Yeah, it was a mine. Okay. Yeah, this was fun in 1945. Was it about the gold rush? Was it like, we've got to get to this mine? Yeah, it was a mine. Okay. Yeah, it was a mine. So you're in a little car and you walked around

and then they were all just like, hey, I'm a 49er. There's one new arrival in the recent past to Kenny Wood, and by that I mean eye-eating parasites. Very recently on the ride Raging Rapids. You ever gone Raging Rapids? Oh, sure. That was a big deal when that happened. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eye-eating. Love those Rapids rides, but apparently somebody got splashed in the eye and he went back and is suing them, claiming that he got an eye-eating parasite. Oh, man. I don't know if his eyes were entirely eaten or only partially eaten or only the important parts, the corneas or the lids. I don't know which part of his eyes. What is fascinating about this is that Disneyland just had an outbreak of Legionnaire's disease.

Right. More like, why are theme parks, these ancient diseases are like these, you don't hear about it anywhere else except like they're festering in theme parks. And Chipotle. And Chipotle. And Chipotle. Anywhere with standing water. Yeah.

Why is Chipotle compulsively like- Getting different. It's crazy. Like thought extinct diseases. Yeah. 80-year-old diseases. They're bringing stuff back from the days of Salk. You can get polio from there.

Polio. What are these lines I'm saying today? I'm weighing it on thick. This is good. Awful. Anyway, watch it. Oh, thanks. I can think of two words that sound similar.

So, yeah, the eye-eating parasites, watch out for those. Wait, what are the two words that sound similar? Polio and poyo is what I was saying. Oh, so that's what you did. I thought of two words that sounded similar. I thought you were saying it sounded similar to killing it, and I was like, thrilling shit? Oh, no, that too. Oh, we are thrilling shit.

Yeah, man. I'm killing it. I'm thrilling shit. Thrilling shit is the new extreme Kenny Wood slogan. Thrilling shit, my man. Oh, the other amusement park, too, in Pittsburgh is Sandcastle, which is water slides. Oh, right, right. Owned by Kenny Wood as well, I believe.

Is that right? They're related. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was the first time I did the kind of water slides where you have to sit on your back like you're in a coffin and go down, and it feels very hardcore. Uh-huh. And you're like, damn, that hurt my body. Like, first water slides that truly hurt.

There were a drop slide, I'm guessing, because those hurt. Like where they pull the floor out? The super vertical. Oh, okay. They pull the floor out? That wasn't a drop slide then. I think it's just like

a huge deep drop slide. Do you know what I mean where like you sit there and there's like a floor and then they pull it out? That's what I thought I was saying, yeah. There's like drop slides

where there's literally the slide just ends and you just get dumped in the water. I don't think those hurt as bad as the ones that slide you. I think you're talking about ones that literally end up. This is like a 1200 foot freaking gigantic thing. And you just like go down and you eventually are just like your feet are hitting the water

and it just kind of hurts and you have to cross your legs or else it'll go up into your crotch and stuff. It's like that blizzard beach thing. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know what you mean yeah yeah and we always were like dude i'm gonna jump off and then there was like always a legend like no some dude jumped off and he broke his finger and he lost all of his teeth and he had to go to the hospital but he was okay or some one of those little kids like the very specific thing that kids remember happened and uh there's uh yeah so that was the other one and did you ever go did you go to any of these other it opens a can of worms i guess but uh you know a ton of theme parks in pennsylvania

you ever go to do hershey park did hershey park yes oh yeah Hershey Park yeah and that is two hours away maybe yeah something like that and the main memory there was there was uh it was like a rainy day yeah so it's like I think I as a kid I was like Hershey Park is sad but just because it was a rainy day

it always rained there but we went on some I remember going on a janky um oh man and I effing hate these rides. What are they? The things where you're leaning up against the wall and they spin and the floor drops out. More floor stripping. Gravitron. This was called a rotor.

It was the rotor. And so you'd go and the floor would drop out on you. Like it wasn't a Gravitron. It was more hardcore. It was more like organized or something. I'm like floor drops out and it was just like, no. And it made me feel. And to this day, like if it's a spinning like G-Force ride, it just makes me, I'm just like, I won't do it anymore.

Like it's, it's, there's no fun. Yeah. But then we went on some like, like if you've been to coney island even you know that roller coaster that's not the cyclone that's just like a it's called like the rat trap or the mouse trap and it's like got two thin ass like rails and it just like seems so dangerous does it feel like you're gonna go off the track yeah and the roller coaster kind of goes yeah and like actually kind of like goes off the track a couple times. That's a style of coaster.

Yeah, it's really weird, right? It's like really dangerous style. Yeah, I rode one in South Jersey, and then the day after I rode it, someone died on one. Right. And it was like because whatever brake mechanism failed or whatever. And they're already very unnerving. Cause like, yeah, you get to a turn and it turns last minute or like, yeah. Tilts you over a little. They were designed by carnies.

Yeah. They were designed by mad carnies. And operated and maintained by them. Yeah. Yeah. And then in Hershey Park, that is next to a ride where you learn about how chocolate is made. Right. That's the chocolate world.

And then went on the chocolate world ride. I was going to say that was the main memory was the chocolate world and seeing the chocolate be dumped from one like robotic ladle arm and like dumped into another big vat of chocolate and being like, oh my God, this, it blew my freaking mind. Look at all that fucking chocolate. And then at the end of the ride, you are given, or maybe my parents bought, a Hershey bar that is shaped like the little mini Hershey bars, which is in the Good Bar Crackle combo. It's shaped like that, but it is gigantic. And me and my brothers gnawed on that thing like a cuddle bone for like six years. I swear to God, it was like in the bag of

legos that we had and we would just like get it out and be like after a while it's not a dessert anymore but we were it was like all white and stuff were you worried it would uh that by the time when you finished it you'd end up kissing your brother? Lady and the Tramp in it? Yeah, we'd get both ends of it. Let's not get that down to the bone. We made out all the time anyways. It wasn't a problem. When I went as a very young boy, I have a distinct memory of like,

because they give you a free little candy bar at the end of the ride and stuff, and they were giving out, I don't remember the kind, I bet I could look it up online. It was like camouflage on the logo, and this was right at the start of Desert Storm.

They're like, this is a special chocolate. Hershey is made for the soldiers in Iraq. It doesn't melt in the desert heat. That's so cool. Yeah, it was cool. There was also no line that day, so we kept going on and just kept eating this Desert Storm themed chocolate.

Who's that Willy Wonka? My Norman Schwarzkopf. I guess. Oh my God. Storm and Norman. Let's wind it back to Kenny. Two quick things to hit, I think, before we... We left everybody hanging with whatever this Mickey Dolan cliffhanger was. I'm sure everybody's been thinking

about it. Okay, so I have it here. Let me pull it up. Wait, what's the Mickey Dolan's cliffhanger? We said something before you came in. Oh, okay. This is a classic. So, like, under the, like, interesting facts part of the Wikipedia page is a fact. Singer-actor Mickey Dolan,

former drummer for the Monkees, often fondly tells audiences at his live shows that Kennywood was the location of his first ever public appearance. He appeared at Kennywood with his elephant in the 1950s when he was known as Circus Boy. What?

It was the star of a television show called Circus Boy, which featured Mickey as Corky, a boy who grows up on the road in a circus. Wow. And so here is a longer synopsis. Set in the 1890s, the title of the series refers to a boy named Corky. After his parents, the Flying Falcons, were killed in a trapeze accident. It's the Robin origin.

Which is the origin of Dick Grayson. Corky was adopted by Joey the Clown and the whole Burke and Walsh circus family. The young boy quickly found a role with the circus as Waterboy Tibimbo, a baby elephant whom Corky would come to consider his pet. Well, first of all, I've heard of this. This read for two years

on NBC and ABC and then in syndication. I think we already mentioned this, but just in case someone's just tuning in in the middle of the podcast, Mickey Dolan is one of the monkeys, which was a band

a hundred years ago. Which is not the Beach Boys. A different band that we talked about. Not Mike Love and Chris Johnston's the Beach Boys. They made a TV show that was influenced by movies like Help.

Yeah, it was wacky nonsense. There were a lot of fancy editing tricks. They sped up and disappeared behind trees and came out the other side of a different tree. If you know what Benny Hill looks like, that was every other scene. They were just running fast. We're explaining elemental monkeys. And they have great songs. Honestly, I'm not trying to disparage the monkeys. And a very good tone is abandoned. Very good.

And deserve more credit and should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. No. And Circus Boy should be in the Circus Hall of Fame. The animal related television show Mickey Dolan should be in the Cool Dude Hall of Fame. Because he rules. He should be in that Cool Dude Hall of Fame, because he rules. He should be in that. I saw him at a Beach Boys

there you go again, tribute show where he wore one of the coolest hats I've ever seen. What a tale. That's why I need this podcast to tell great stories like that. Well, he thought love was only true with fairy tales for a really long time. He was under a common misconception.

Was he ever corrected in that? Did anything ever change his feelings on it? Well, he just kind of thought it was for someone else, but not for him. That's too bad. He thought love was out to get him. Da-da-da-da-da. That's the way it felt. People are now confused because they think you're quoting the lyrics from Shredder, the

movie Shrek. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because Smash Mouth has a cover of that, so most kids now think that's a smash. That's the way it's seen. Disappointment. On it. Yeah. Steve Harwell

was not the first guy to become a believer after seeing a face. I want to say one more thing about Kennywood before I wrap it up which is that

you taught me the origin that it's a thing in Pittsburgh. Kennywood's open. Kennywood's open. Hey, dude. Kennywood's open. Whichwood's open. Hey, dude, Kennywood's open.

Which means your fly is open. So if you and everyone in Pittsburgh knows this who went to elementary school, if your fly was open, Kennywood's open, dude. And so that was like, yeah, that was the ritual. Did you ever have a particularly embarrassing scarring scenario in which your candy wood was open? My, yeah, but it was scarring for everyone else. No, I signed an NDA. You can't talk about it for legal purposes.

No, I'm all Velcro. Velcro flies. Oh, that sounds pleasant. More likely, Kenny would be open with Velcro. Yeah. Take some Velcro on the laser loop and see how the physics affects the sickness. I know. The physics.

Yeah, that was my big, yeah, that was my last time. That was your science thesis. Yeah. How does Velcro keep your Kennywood from coming open? And I had a great, I got to give a shout out, Adam Gerson, he was my chemistry or physics partner. I think that he was my physics partner. Correct me if I'm wrong, but...

Correct me if I'm wrong. You're wrong, John. Facts of life. But he did every experiment and just was actually interested in science and did it and just let me copy every single thing. He saved me so much grief. So thank you so much because I was just like, hey man, can I just,

he was like, oh yeah, just copy it all. Wow. Thank you, Adam. I love this shit. We're all good boys and rule followers and we don't like a guy

coming in here telling us your academic career is built on lies. Yeah, I mean, a whole year of, even if I just sneak that,

I'm not smart in that way. Well, I'm still, I'm a proponent of you getting the key to Pittsburgh or to Kennywood. I want this Kennywood ideal scenario laid out for you, and I hope that your academic malfeasance doesn't prevent that from happening. Of course that was a joke, and I would be gracious upon entering and saying, look into the eye and thank everyone for coming. If they redo Noah's Ark, though, I feel like you should be in that opening ceremony, maybe. I would start it by saying, there is no God.

The Bible was written by powerful men to subdue the poor. Jesus was perhaps a real man but was inflated into something to suppress. Start lecturing people. That being said, enjoy the bouncy floor of the whale stud. Enjoy the fun. Okay, now that that's out there,

everyone have a great time. We're going to be doing some improv. Take your picture with a Russell Crowe standee at the end. And have a dove-shaped funnel gig. You know, real quick, let me just say also, in Kennywood memories, there's a very bizarre part where you can watch footage from the 1930s of people going into Noah's Ark with the narration, the entrance walkway was equipped with hidden hoses that would blow air up the women's skirts. Oh, boy. Noah's Ark was like a

harassment ride in the 30s. Ah, man, we gotta get these women's skirts up, man. What a sleazeball. Oh, boy. And then, of course, the logical part where we blow up women's skirts on the Bible ride. You know, like Noah would want. Give a view to those hippos.

Noah was in an 80s sex comedy. You know what? Who knows what Noah was into? That's true. He's into some pre-medieval dark ages coming out of the copper age shit. He was probably into some nasty sex. Well, he was surrounded.

With members of his freaking family, okay? Sure, yeah. And by the way, he got four of some of those so he could have some mistress that was a hippopotamus. Noah married a tiger when he was 700 and then

he peacefully passed. John Daly, you have survived Podcast The Ride. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. This is the best podcast ever. A strong declaration. I hope you don't say that on all of them. I'm going to go check. I don't.

Hey, all right. We got it. That was easy. Pretty good. Anything you want to plug or alert everybody to while you got the ear of millions of people? Watch my short film, Men. Oh, absolutely. Great.

My son, Gil Ozeri, made a short film on Super Deluxe. It's called M-E-N, Men. And I love it. Check it out on super Deluxe. It's called M-E-N Men, and I love it. Check it out on superdeluxe.com. Yeah, do that. Anything you guys want to plug? How about our official channels? Yeah, podcast the ride on Twitter and Instagram

and podcast the ride at Gmail if you want to talk to us via electronic mail. Again, send us these questions. We want to do a mailbag. Just ask us questions, you guys. Ask us questions. Get into the podcast, become huge fans, and ask us questions. Give us the fandom we so adore, we so require. Hey, thanks so much for joining us, and we'll see you on our podcast.

Thank you so much. Goodbye.