Podcast: The Ride - McGruff the Crime Dog's Music Career - Patreon Unlocked

Episode Date: January 3, 2020

Enjoy this sample of Podcast: The Ride-The Second Gate. You can find even more exclusive episodes atPatreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus Most people know that Mcgruff was a talking spokesdog who took bites out of crime.What most people don'tknow is how awesome Mcgruff's discography is. Join us as we listen to McGruff's debut album "SMART KIDS" and his second and final album "Burger King Proudly Presents: McGruff Cares For You!" Spoiler: the songs are legit good. Links to the albums: "SMART KIDS" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4P4plYXKFE&t=1226s "Burger King Proudly Presents: McGruff Cares For You!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVl3MqzyLig Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Welcome to Podcast The Ride, the second gate, hosted by three guys who are about to totally blow out their voices talking like this for an hour straight. It's not an easy one to do. I'll be suffering the rest of the day.

My name is Mike Carlson, and I love to talk like this and warn kids about drugs. Jason Sheridan? Hey, this is Jason Sheridan, encouraging you all to buy timers for your lamps that go on at 5 p.m. and go off at about 2 a.m. I like this different McGruff. Hey there, what's up? I'm McGruff. Hey, it's McGruff. So we are today talking about, i don't want to declare this

the best episode we've ever done but it might be at least i'm very very excited about it it's a solid shot at it uh it's barely tied into theme parks uh it just there's a costume there's a character yeah i think maybe what we're finding is that the one a month of the patreon is like sort of adjacent uh uh which i think is fine look yeah it's a costume character and it's it's very silly it's definitely the theme park spirit and silliness so it's justified in in my mind yeah and we we have talked before about sometimes uh when you look at the world it seems like everything is theme parks yes everything is theme parks and everything is wrestling i've found it's all the same politics is wrestling and everything else is theme parks so that's basically all the world is that's my that's a little philosophy

for me if you're patten oswalt yeah spaceship horseman yes what is it i don't remember i know what you're talking about yeah i don't remember ninja pirate horseman is his book correct yes i got it yeah horseman if you read the um you know i've talked before jason woolner got me into this blue loop website which is sort of like a trade magazine for not just theme parks but themed and experiential and entertainment in general and it's it's the main things they report on are theme parks and then museums because museums are starting to do a lot more you know uh uh interactive stuff for themed sort of stuff uh and then they get i there was an article where i was like all right i gotta stop reading this because the made-up terms are making me mad but experiential shopping of like getting people back into malls with like how can we gamify the mall or like just kind of what the void is about

a little bit yeah yeah that's true uh well and there's i well i don't know what else is an example of that but i did go into a disney store and there was some like interactive uh augmented reality thing involving like last jedi that you played in the store yeah i think stuff like that or instagram op like backdrops and then like even still hanging on from like eight years ago q you know scan this qr code like god like that was uh yeah and of course uh indoor hurricane machines that's long before that's that's experiential uh shopping uh or whatever the term was we'll we'll get to our episode about indoor hurricane machines yeah we'll experience all of them i assume we'll travel cross country and find the best one and rank them sure i think so yeah find the difference between the manufacturers

yeah this one like this one's a better hurricane experience but right upkeep uh is suffering a little and i think the font is better on the uh you know the hurricane saga you know hurricane saga oh no uh yeah that's what we're doing it um so we have as i was just about to say before we start recording there is too much material so today's episode is specifically about not just mcgruff it is about mcgruff's uh music career and okay and i was like i wasn't totally sure about the rules myself because i know nothing i'm not prepared to talk about mcgruff in general right no we're not not and the reason i know about this because we were walking the three of us were walking to eat lunch after recording and there's a police station around here and i believe you said there's a full mcgruff suit you told me

that yeah there's a full mcgruff suit if you look through the window and i'm always in the lobby of the police station and i was like holy shit and then you're like do you know there's a mcgruff album and i went what are you what and then i went home immediately looked it up and i've been obsessed with it for like eight months yeah you you bit even harder than i did i i poked around a little bit but but my i mean i bit i bit harder bit like i was biting a cat in half they're putting me down tomorrow i'm rabid i'm a minister society um no priest no funeral unmarked grave so what i my my takeaway i did not dive as deep as you but my takeaway right away was um you know something like this is is is catnip for me ironically catnip uh and i i

like a good bad album i always have uh or you know a silly why does this exist album but my in poking around initially the the songs better than they have a right to be the songs that's what's compelling here that is what's compelling and the thing it's not just oh haha this is funny it's an anti-drug album or by the way two albums yeah there's two full and also there's some of it i will ask the the listeners to find the rest for me because they're not all archived on youtube so there for sure is at least a part two lurking somewhere because all the songs have not been heard by us yet are Are you talking about, okay, the first one of which I know, I'm more familiar with, is McGruff's Smart Kids album. Yes. McGruff's Smart Kids 1986 was released.

Yes. And that's the one that I listened to the first when you told me about it. And then there was a different album I discovered from 1991, which came out exclusively at Burger King. And it's called McGruff Cares for You. Well, now that sounds like it could be like Delilah would play. Like it would be soft rock hits. Like let McGruff take care of you. Well, there's a lot of soft rock on both of these albums.

Yeah. And a lot of that's like really up my musical alley. And one that I didn't know till yesterday that i threw on with my wife erin and the beginning made us go oh like it's the it is like the kind of thing we would just listen to anyway i was it on smart smart kids yes i think it might be the song smart kids i think i know exactly what you're talking because i was just listening to them again before you got here and i that one started and when i think that's it's like a the sax very like a lot of sax in the start yeah yeah i think that's what i think i

know what you're talking about very uh uh i have this whole and darren and i have both gotten into this is going to sound really contrived but we have both gotten into kenny g and that's really yeah yeah because some early kenny g pretty good he's got ties to legit early 80s instrumental funk with this guy kashif who's super respected he like kenny g played on some stuff that is fantastic uh i encourage people to look up a video called hi how you doing that is a fucking blast. I get what's lame about him in the 90s, but he came out of some pretty cool stuff. I'm not kidding.

There's good Kenny G out there. And this thing reminded me of the Kenny G that I like. Yeah, there's a lot of... My first thought is, and this is not really equivalent, but if you were just hearing Rod Stewart in the last 10 years, you'd go, oh God, this is just lame old standard crap. But like, he was cool. Or in the 90s. In the 90s, yeah, yeah. He was sort of like over the hill.

Raspy voice. Perhaps the most prominent raspy voiced singer besides McGruff. Yeah, right. Me and Rod were recording together together we blew our voices out like lennon and nielsen but now it just gives us character there have been legends about either of us aren't true that mcgruff is a little bit of a pirate oh yeah yeah i guess so uh so i believe i'll listen to old kenny i don't know i'll i'll make it i'll try to whittle down what i consider the good the essential g yeah g was a g so we'll do a quick

little in case you don't know mcgruff yeah mcgruff the crime dog if you're a young listener perhaps you're not so familiar with him he's a giant dog in a trench coat who would appear on commercials and in other various media and tell you not to do drugs what tell you watch out for strangers uh i primarily know him from commercials i think i don't there was there were specials there's a drew barrymore special that he's on oh that's right uh which we'll talk i'm sure another time we don't have time for that um but he has some other interesting media ventures that that exist and he's uh he alternates between being a cartoon character and being a suited yes character uh on the mcgruff smart kids album It's got this wonderfully plain cover of him as a suited character,

just like leaning up against some fake brick. You know what it looks like, Jason? This one? Sorry, I can't turn this on. It's a very Sesame Street set. I think it's a really pleasant, pretty cheap photo, but it really sets the tone and creates the character for this album. A cheap photo for it like really sets the tone right and creates the character for this album a cheap photo for like fully produced songs because let's see that's the thing that gets

me they made two albums and and one in the late 80s the other in 91 did you say was that's what it says and doing anything with media i feel like before but at least windows media player if before pro tool was so much work it's so much labor to do to record songs for like cheapy throwaway like and this you know these are very synth laden but synths are harder to do back then and there's some real instruments i was just complimenting the saxophone work there's a lot of great saxophone work there's a lot first one yeah so this is not some like you'll you'll hear you'll hear it up the quality of this music as much as we can no no but you're absolutely right like it's like i don't know it's it's legitimately produced music it's not chintzy midi yeah uh i couldn't find i cannot find credits no i tried i looked at all muse all the

places you go to find out who what session players played on things and it's like i don't think it exists the tape is on discogs.com which is the best source of who played on what right it is on there which is like a collector site that also gives you like a worth of an album and i think the worth of this is because it's only on cassette. I think the worth is literally one cent, although it seems to be hard to find. And all the YouTube comments are very, can I,

can somebody send me this? Here's my email. People just give their email address in the comments. Please just get me this album. Yeah. But the YouTube gets the job done unless you really need to be listening to this on a cassette. Like when you're out and about like a walkman do you feel uh mike you're more into this than anybody are you do you feel like you want you need these on your mobile device do you

are you ever driving around and like god i wish i could play the i have played it from the youtube in my car sure uh-huh so that's that's all i need really the job done it eats data but i did rip this though for this purpose just so it wouldn't be tied to the internet we're not sitting through an ad yes or anything that we've you the patreon listeners we've done you the service yeah making you uh listen to a horizon ad blue shoe is uh now that all right yeah you'll listen to other ads yeah not not on this not on this feed no i just feel like that's been the pre-roll i've gotten on youtube a lot recently it's like a little if we get a blue chew sponsorship you are exclusively

going to read the ads oh that's fine i'm gonna test to test the product. Oh, okay. What's Blue Chew again? It's generic Viagra and Cialis and stuff. What does generic mean? Like it's not, it's not, it's, what's the term for pharmaceuticals? You mean over the counter? No, it's just not name brand. It's like. But Blue Chew is a name brand. But they're just providing like

they don't make the they get pills from elsewhere and send them to you direction pills and they send it to you without the hassle it's generic it's like if you're just buying like the up and up brand loretta dean instead of claritin okay but they don't ever why is this this is we don't have time for this but why why is why would they have a branding like blue chew because the generic drugs generally just name the real drug uh yeah well i think they're i think they're just the middle they're the middle so blue chew is a company that finds the generic viagra and gives it to you the pill you're taking is not blue chew i think they also do like a digital consultation because you still need a script for a lot of

the consultation is just do you get erections no are you all right are you horny yes i try to be well this will help you if you're gonna take erection medicine make sure you trust the source don't eat anything generic make sure your digital doctor knows what he's doing. Giving Bluetooth testaments of like, it works if you're alone, too. My boner is like two feet because I'm a big dog. My fuzzy boner. Giant, the biggest lipstick you ever seen. I guess it's not fuzzy because if it's a dog it's

the yeah all right you get it uh so puts it puts edwin to shame sorry and edwin by the way has a large penis and i'm not saying that to be funny it happened it came out once and we were shocked whoa he is a tiny dog i we were like ah oh my god like it was shocking for him to be like a 15 pound dog did you trip on it that's how you found out it wasn't out that long trip it just it did it was like a horror movie though when it emerged uh anyway so sorry to to trash up the podcast with this talk back to false dogs so jack jack kyle real quick is the guy who created mcgruff and he just died uh two years ago or a year and a half ago and he was like in his 90s and i he had his obituary in the new york times and i'm looking through some of it and

he was talking about mcgruff because he loved mcgruff he was an advertising guy and he felt this was a good thick character and would teach kids and he really believed in it major figure at the ad agency he's like one of the top people at this gigantic ad agency and then like as this ends up with this whole other career doing a voice it's kind of and then like six years later he does an album which is also because mcgruff debuts in 1980 oh that long later, he does an album, which is also because McGruff debuts in 1980. Oh, that long ago. So then he does six years later. He's like, time to make an album, which also when we do the McGruff voice, we're doing a more fully formed McGruff because on the album, you'll hear his voice.

You know, it's a lot like Steven Tyler doing Dream On. You know, he doesn't quite sound like the Steven Tyler from Aerosmith you'll recognize later. Dream On, his voice is not as scratchyy Not as doesn't have the years on it So you'll hear McGruff smart kids He's still kind of talking like this versus Like this do we even know that it's Him we don't but I think

It this article leads me to believe He never didn't do the voice Wow so I as far As I know McGruff not originally Though used in antiug campaigns but like from what i was reading he he was originally like lock your doors keep your lights on to deter burglars well there's a i don't have a cute up there's a very famous very famous commercial uh or psa where

he's talking about like fake movers stealing stuff from people's houses. Great. Where it's like, look, there's the Johnsons. They're moving, except they're not. Make sure you know if you're like, there's like a fake, like I don't know if that was a real thing in the 70s or the 80s where people would fake, bring fake movers in and loot someone's house. If a cop shows up at your door before you go on a trip to Paris, make sure that he's not actually a crook. Check to make sure he doesn't have a silver tooth that shines when he smiles at you.

If you're in a courtroom and the flag has golden fringe on it, the validity of the judge is in question. So, there's too much. All right, all right let me i will now i had this skewed up and then i was thinking i won't play it but i will play this so oh wait no no i'm getting ahead of myself so mr kyle said about mcgruff i just like this quote he wasn't vicious not tremendously smart maybe but he had but he was no wimp either he was a father figure or possibly an uncle figure just an uncle in a trench coat looking just a dog uncle so he a couple years ago maybe or maybe a year ago we were looking through mcgruff stuff i don't know maybe it's after the smart kids album whatever the timeline

he was doing this till he died like he was doing mcgruff and we found this commercial 30 seconds long that is hilarious it looks like it was shot on a phone maybe i don't know who paid for this but it's on mcgruff's official youtube channel it's kind of a latter day it's not it's january 18th 2017 wow because mcgruff has certainly like been now licensed for like Geico commercials. And I think the estate or whatever, just like he can... I think if we paid for McGruff, we could get him. I think.

To come in here and be a guest on the podcast? Yeah, I think so. I think we would have to voice him maybe, but it would be legally... Not about... He's just going to like, I want to talk about the teacups. Yeah. My favorite attraction. I get a kick out of them.

So real quick here i'm gonna play this commercial because it's so funny happy birthday to you when you're saving those once-in-a-lifetime memories why try to save a few bucks on a counterfeit battery because unlike us you can't just rewind and start over genuine batteries are a safer option and you can count on their performance so you won't miss those special moments get real protect yourself buy from legitimate sources and that's obviously his voice because he sounds like he's dying. It's the real man. It was in his 90s. Legitimate silence.

Batteries. Like, who paid for that? He does sound like a real, like, on the way out dog. Yeah, so we were like, oh my God, that's like his last, one of his last performances as McGruff, so he was still doing it. What a micro issue. I know. Batteries.

We were like, what is that what is that i have to say i i was recently at a 99 cent store and just without looking grabbed like a four pack of double a's problem and i i i it lasted uh a set of double a batteries last about a month and i was like what what the hell like an electric toothbrush and i was like what the fuck happened and i looked and i was like wait why do these not say alkaline why do these say like aluminum i i was like what the fuck are these non-alkaline batteries because i just remember any game boys or game gears growing up they're like only alkaline batteries and we're like where would you find non-alcohol and then every now and then you do see double or triple a non-alkaline batteries and uh yeah street ruffians who sell them to you in the back alley

don't get the make sure it's a copper top not a bronze top counterfeit batteries were brand they were panasonic branded like shit batteries that's the weird thing. Also, sometimes the 99 cent store, they're close to expiring as well. Yeah. So that also gets you in the ass. Which is funny because it is always recognized.

It's like Sony, Sony, Maxwell. But then you're like, wait, when have I ever had Sony batteries unless it came with the TV? Oh yeah, they are. Yes, that's a name you trust, but not for batteries. it's yeah the 99 cents or two like you have to like vitamins will be like three months away from expiring or something so you gotta watch out you know don't eat expired vitamins it's it's good for like the limited edition uh cereals where it's like

oh orange creamsicle golden grams or something where they just have so many i got something where am i gonna find that i know they're not gonna be around forever i mean the orange creamsicle is that what i got didn't i buy something like that up in santa we were at a santa barbara and i was buying peanut m&ms but i found some crazy captain crunch or something you found a weird category and you did buy it i did buy it uh anyway we have we are 20 minutes in we have to we have 45 minutes worth of music to play we don't need to play the whole we won't but i just want to make sure we'll see we'll see if we get to all of it amount but yeah for sure because also the problem with

smart kids too is like i'm like okay what what tracks can we skip and then i keep playing each track and go we can't skip that we can't skip that we can't skip that all right so uh mcgruff smart kids 1986 uh it starts with a song that a lot of people might know because this was used in the commercials and the psas and there's's a famous, very famous commercial of McGruff, cartoon McGruff playing a piano on someone's lawn, which is this song. You keep asserting the very famous. I don't think I know any of these.

Did you have the McGruff commercial out here, though, where he would say, Scruff McGruff, Chicago, Illinois, 60652? And take a bite out of crime. That has like a meter that's familiar to me. He got Scruff McGruff, Chicago, Illinois, 60652. And take a bite out of crime. It sounds like a meter that's familiar to me. He got Scruff McGruff, Chicago, Illinois, 60652. Wow. I certainly don't know that well. That's like a real 588-2300 empire.

But someone pointed out online that it's just a city and a zip code. Like there's no P.O. box or address or anything. You're just sending it to a city. But like code like there's no po box or address or anything you're just sending it to a city but like they all right i'll play this for you scott if you recognize this i know we don't have time for this but whatever here's my nephew scruff about to run into trouble again hey bobo where's your video game in here oh look at this oh again you pulled a gun out you'll see but that's not the only problem he has i haven't thought about Scruff in a while. Scruff is a fucking idiot.

That's his nephew, though, so he wasn't actually raising him. That's why he's an uncle. I hope this is sad activity book more and never had kids of my own you'll find out what you can do about bullies drugs and guns am i the hero again you'll see and you'll see lots of games cool for your free copy of my new comic activity book bright scruff mcgruff Chicago, Illinois, 60652. Chicago, Illinois, 60652. See, the singing voice came out there. He hadn't released an album in seven years, but he still had it.

He had the hankering. So a couple of things with that. One, I never realized that if you wrote to that, you were writing to the nephew. That you weren't writing to McGruff. You were writing to Scruff mcgruff the nephew the other thing to reiterate from earlier that is a fully 2d animated advertisement and not like pre-flash pre when you could just grind out there was money animation there was money was coming i think money from the ad council yeah the government was paying for a lot of them yeah i wonder if the

government funded his sessions well and i think the networks and affiliates would donate the air time they could write off right using those ads and filling slots when they needed to right so this thing went for six months like brian wilson doing good vibrations studio after studio we gotta get it right we gotta record in tahiti the vibe ain't right the salty air is gonna help uh get molecules out of the saxophone make sense losing my mind it's the government's time who cares uncle sam is paying for rock and roll all right we got to do this all right all right mcgruff smart Kids 1986 starts with a song that we all know.

A famous song. Very, very famous. Very famous song. Very famous. Winners don't use. Okay. McGruff here. I want you to learn a song

that tells people to say no to drugs. Users are losers and losers are users. So don't are users so don't use drugs don't use drugs winners don't use and users don't win so don't use drugs don't use drugs all right that's the like that's all we need from that one uh what is somebody pointed out on a youtube comment calling a drug user a loser perhaps not great for their self-esteem because like it's a problem and you know it's hard to overcome it kind of a misunderstanding of addiction yeah sober up

loser that song very much in the same family as mr belvedere and the and the vlasic uh pickle song oh this is a close relative of Leon Redbone. I think it's general. Ragtime peony and carnival drum. Like that vibe. I have Blossom in my head blocking the Mr. Belvedere.

But it's the Why can't I fake the Mr. Belvedere? What a failure failure on my part i can't think of it either i i don't know if i've ever seen a single episode never met her before okay leon right leon redbone clearly a aesthetic uh inspiration for yeah when you told me the songs were good on this album and i think i think you may have hinted like what type of songs were but i was maybe thinking more along those lines so yeah this song cares about that i don't care about that i don't care about it either it's fine but i don't care it doesn't i wouldn't we wouldn't be doing this episode if all the songs were in that vein absolutely yeah

so right off the gate there's a song called no no no okay and does that prevent there from being a later song called just say no no no no no no no no uh here we go this is called no no no you hear it across the nation Just say no The way to resist temptation Just say no Refuse what they try to sell you Just say no

Don't fall for the lies they tell you Just say no This build up is great Yes And then And then a major key You've got some courage to show Just say no

I mean this would kill in the mosh pit Like this is like Yeah I can't think of a better, to hold steady, fist pumping, like, we're all going to do it. We're going to make something of ourselves. I think that, oh, oh, oh, that's like fun or something. That would be a current hook. You could see the big Coachella fields. Yes, that's what I'm saying

If you brought a chorus of kids out to do it Yeah, yes Coachella loves kids' choirs I meant more like Halfway through a set Towards the end of a set And then suddenly a children's choir comes out I'm kind of a sucker for that trick

What do you like with a kids choir? We'll do one more chorus and then we'll turn this one off. You've got some courage to show and let yourself freeze back it's just it's it's great it's already great right out the gate it's great uh that's the stadium rock stadium rock he i want to know so much about this like did he did he think it's like kind of fun that he's singing he's not a great singer but that's sort of the charm of it because i think that's the great i think it's kind of fun that he's like a bad singer and he's doing a voice of a dog it seems like he's

singing and trying his best at singing and And then every 20 seconds he remembers like, Oh, I got to still be McGruff. Uh, I'll gravel it a little for this word. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah,

for sure. And he wasn't, he was still a man of in his forties or fifties, uh, forties, I think at this time. So an odd person to be doing music that like I was, I've been trying to think of analogs for a lot of it.

I think that one has sort of a early madonna thing yes yeah yeah yeah beginning before it brightens up when it's a little minor sad at the beginning it kind of reminds me of papa don't preach yeah yeah and then the chorus is also sort of in a madonna vein but with this yeah this is a guy this is a 50 year old man doing like 80s teen pop it is probably then closer to uh papa only wants what's best for you the danny aiello response to papa don't preach oh that was lost in my brain i'm so glad you brought it back papa just wants what's best for you because danny aiello is in the music video but then was like upset by how it turned out and felt like he betrayed his uh his his catholic or christian values or whatever so he needed to like

read a dress right yeah and you know guys like that are the best papas you know they're the most warm giving emotionally intelligent sort of yeah what's the that's like the uh it's a similar character to andrew dice clay in star is born yeah that kind of papa oh that he actually was very supportive i thought that's true but a little misguided but like he's around all these jackass uh yeah buddies uh i by the way i said earlier like i like when the when i said the children's choir in this case i was thinking because it's clearly supposed to sound like kids singing singing but in a larger picture i like when musicians bring out the local uh choir the local orchestra like because that's a big deal for like the local people like that's a huge deal for them that

kind of happened with the rolling stones at old cella like we got that you can't always get what you want with a choir yes i think i'm questioning kids choir specifically because the big thing holding me back from really liking this album too much kids oh less kids and i'm i'm way more in i don't think i realize that when we do when we if it was McGruff performing it, I do think you'd have to have a kid's choir. I think that's probably a part of it. When the idea that I just had in my head, when we perform this album front to back somewhere,

we can do it with a different choir, like adult choir, or maybe with no choir at all. We'll see. We'll do, it depends. But we need to do it with the singer of fun guesting, soaring Nate Ruiz.

Yeah. Well, there'll be a whole set of guest stars doing each song. It'll be a sort of tribute album with a lot of different singers. All right. Let's get to the next song. Marijuana. Yeah. This is the real.

I don't want to downplay side two, but this is one of those records where like, oh my God, this is all killer. No, this side A is all hits. Side A is all hits, but then side B, there's a lot of sleepers on there and there's a lot of good stuff too. But yeah, you're right. Side A is just like, oh, it's like, I'm trying to think of what's just a great, you know,

I was going to say enema of the state. That's not a good example. This is exactly like enema of the state. All right, here we go. Marijuana. Marijuana. Never cry. Marijuana.

Don't try it at all. It's a lie. It's like beating your head on a wall We're all pantomiming this. Not accurate. We want to say it. Jason's mad though because he loves marijuana. Way to fall

You will pay Cause it's you and you're no good at all Jason And you know If you gamble with life you can lose it Jason. Jason. Soaring. Yeah yeah very the chorus great chorus let it rip i imagine he mcgruff solo it it's always it's a sax or guitar i don't try it at all yeah it's a fender it's great right just ripping a solo i picked it up late but i can play with the greats got it used guy didn't know what he had on his hands

that one that that to me gives me a little shade of like uh bon jovi's runaway yes very like fast there's a the next one as a bon jovi the next one is my thing my favorite on the whole album and it also reminds me of like living on a prayer the bass line is a very living on a prayer style bass line calling to mind but but not in a rip-offy way none of them are clear rip-offs of anything right they're all just like i don't know he's like exploring influences yeah he's just he's taking what any artist does and just i'll take all his inspiration and make it into something new because if i try to do a bon jovi song it's not going to sound like them because it's run through

the filter of mcgruffin uh bring my own thing do it marijuana though is the only is the one specifically because they were still pushing the gateway drug thing with marijuana. So that's, Jason, I just want to explain that. You know, you know that. So don't get so mad at McGruff is what I'm saying. Well, he was he had the best of intentions is what I mean. He's just worried you're going to move on to inhalants or cocaine and crack. Right.

Or worse, alcohol. Right. Oh, he ran out of marijuana. I guess he's got to go to his backup crack well as scott you might not have known scott was just listing the names of the next few songs on the album yes that's where we're headed so this is my i think my favorite one class a to b something like all the class substances uh literally ending with alcohol this one may have slipped to number two but for a while this was by far number one for me on the album inhalants yep song is called inhalants we have to play most of it let's just get right to it great wait wait shit i'm queuing up marijuana scramble your brain

never mind take two of your brain. Here we go. Never mind. Take two. So this is like Living on a Prayer or Billie Jean or something, that bass line. A little bit of Rockwell. Yeah. I always feel like.

But like, I think you could see if you go back, you could, it could work for Billie Jean or it could work for like. Donnie, you start walking

on the Donnie. Yeah start walking on the dime Yeah The union's made on strike Let's go true There's danger in inhalants They can break you in two So never sniff inhalants Breathing them is really no thrill

Don't you know inhalers really can kill? Don't you inhale it You'll be suffering pain Don't you inhale it They will damage your brain Don't you inhale it Cause it's really insane More kids pay now

Cause inhalers kill I think this is the best use of the kids. They're kind of a counterpoint. We gotta do another one, because it's too good. Yeah, go ahead. Him saying inhalants. Break you in two. Yeah, break you in two.

What does that mean? Oh, he talks here too. Just because something is safe to use one way doesn't mean it's safe to use another way. Cleaners, sprays, and other household chemicals can become deadly poisons when inhaled. Don't ever try it. Just say no to inhalants.

Most of the songs have the spoken word. Yeah, yeah. No inhalants. like it's like a springsteen rap or like you know in the middle of the song like exactly yeah it's something like that the inhale so the inhalants one was this is one you've definitely we were driving somewhere and you pulled up the youtube video i think i also kind of have a memory of you sitting on your couch here at one point you picked up like you were noodling on a guitar or a keyboard and you were like that's a bass line to inhalants oh well i was playing you the bass line inhalants earlier today on my guitar but oh yeah but before i learned it on the piano the keyboard as well uh i also had a very jason thought as i was listening to that which is well i don't think

i've ever done inhalants unless i inadvertently did a whip it while shooting whipped cream into my mouth accidental inhalants are still inhalants there's so many cans of it around the holiday season with all the pies around whipped cream is cream is great, and it's fine to enjoy on its own, but make sure you don't do it right out of the can. Maybe do it into a spoon and then consume it that way. You're leaving germs behind for anybody else using it.

Well, keep it far enough away. Make sure the whipped cream can is clean. Unless, of course, you're using a solo can of whipped cream, which in Jason's case, I imagine is true. Maybe stick to Cool Whip. No long-term side effects from that thing, mostly made of excess tire rubber. Unless you hit your teeth with a spoon.

Oh, McGruff. We should get rights to McGruff. Inhalants is a real jam. And also, but yeah what a strange flow this i think the what we're finding is while we really like all of the songs i think there is a way to order this and have it build and have it be more of a the wall type right a situation that kind of tells a story because we've now bounced from marijuana pretty tame to sprays household cleaners yeah and then we're gonna get harder and then we go way backwards yes yeah rubber cement

uh yeah the next song is cocaine and crack the group together y'all y'all y'all have to share a song. Sorry. Sorry, but here we go. The happiest song ever, man. Crack. Using crack and cocaine to get high. That's what you say you know.

That's what you say you love. But it's really insane. This one's addressed to a user. What are you thinking of? Because nobody's needing that crack and cocaine. There's terrible trouble behind it. And sooner or later you're burning your brain. Making a mess of your mind. This one I get kind of like a Manic Monday.

Yeah. A little bit of the 60s by way of 80s. Yeah. I'm not sure. This one's a tougher genre to figure out, but I really like it. I feel like there's one or two moments where I was like, this almost sounds like an indie rock song. Somebody pointed and i don't think it's wrong that this whole thing sounds like an ariel pink album yeah oh yeah that little synth solo is odd noodley yeah like it's a

lot of genres it's kind of a little lo-fi in its production but like it's very kind of cool and groovy and like if you slowed it all 20%, it would sound exactly like Ariel Pink. Yeah. Well, maybe I'll try that for the next McGruff. Do you think anyone working behind the scenes on this album was like, I got to hit a deadline on this. I got to get some Coke. If McGruff was doing Coke to finish the album,

I mean, no one's written about McGcgruff's drug problem but it's possible well and there's there what there isn't is a song about lsd also famously the source of many great 60s uh lsd is fine it opens up your creativity i just i need some lew fluids to get through the day. Mushrooms too. Good for mental health. A doctor gave me one and a shaman gave me the other. Because yeah, we go. So yeah, we go from crack and cocaine and crack to alcohol.

Yeah. Okay. Well here before alcohol, can I also just say, I think the funniest spoken word on the album is cocaine. Oh, sorry, let me go back. Let me play it. Because this one's a little bit less of like, so remember, there's a pretty specific directive.

Because nobody's needing that crack and cocaine. There's terrible trouble behind it. That's that wobbling. That's the quality of the video. Also, very lo-fi. behind it and sooner or later you're burning your brain making a mess of your mind also very lo-fi there is help available for people who have a problem

with cocaine or crack addiction have them call 1-800-COCAINE for advice and if someone ever offers you crack or cocaine be smart just say no cause nobody's needing you cracker cocaine be smart just say no because nobody's needing that crack and cocaine there's terrible trouble behind it i think if you do it you should do an experiment

if we slow if we slow it down and it sounds cool we should put that as a tag at the end of the episode just like here's our fucking oh yeah here's our pitchfork entry remix so here's our vapor wave re-edit of cocaine and crack um but i like the i love the phone number i i 1-800 cocaine it's not a that's not a number you call to get cocaine let's be be clear about that. Oh, man, really? One thing I want to say, oddly, is that in a very rare event, the YouTube comments on all of these videos are pretty funny, mostly pointing out, boy, this would be great to listen to while blazed. But in this case, somebody says,

imagine a kid going up to their dad and saying, I think you have a problem with cocaine. You should call 1-800-COCAINE and get help.

And they say, that would be the child's last words. Yeah. Life, what the fuck did you say about me? Or the guy starts calling it

because he's just like my fucking kid lied they're not bringing me cocaine we need to look into what that number was yeah the full history of when it was that mcgruff affiliated yeah and why was it wait for a human operator or it was him and he just was fielding calls at his home as mcgruff i've been there pal hang in there i'm a dog i sniff whatever's in front of me i didn't know what it was but i got smart adults can get smart too i'll come over i'll play you my album i'll chill you out i got some new stuff i'm working on want to get your feedback we really been ripping some bass lines lately and there's time we can look at my screenplay did mcgruff play all the instruments i think so like prince that's what i'm a man yeah yeah yeah

he's like he's firing drummers left and right fine i'll do it when paul told ringo to move during the making of back in the ussr ringo also fired from this yeah fuck you his resume looked good i mean the beatles when what have you i've never heard of him before didn't know what he was doing some british uh druggie he was all messed up in the brain but he did give me a good idea for a song a song with the word no in it a lot no no no no i know you should have covered the no no song oh man that's a big missed opportunity well we'll make him a gruff cover of the no no song that's the most mike wheelhouse project there could ever be that's my dream project

uh the most maybe the most scott wheelhouse otherwise um other although on the flip side getting ringo to cover a mcgruff song also a dream project either way it's a two-way street but my i think my personal wheelhouse is is the song alcohol oh yeah yeah yeah because what we have here is a child mascot a church at 80s at 80s nostalgia thing doing a song that is very clearly a steely dan yes this is straight 100 steely dan yeah well let's just uh let's here you go. Let me... I might... Let me just chill out here. I mean, this is... You gotta get high to this. Hey, open up your eyes.

You've got to see. Guitar is right on. I'll fill your world with lies. Listen to me. Fill your world with lies Listen to me It's no good when you're drinking It won't show you the way Hey, you'd better start thinking Being straight is okay

It seems so very nice Ah, but you'd best be looking twice coming up cause you will have to pay a price my favorite note in there you're gonna lose someday it's oh it's so good right on yeah good is my is my point it is good it is really good yeah that's i mean that's more that's the most appealing to my musical sensibility but here's the reason why i found out about the whole thing because the podcast as i shouted out previously uh i found out about this from beyond yacht rock podcast i'm very fond of that is a great way a great source of chill 70s 80s yacht rock aor the kind of bullshit i like and they're incredible cat the catalogers of this kind of music and one day and they they do episodes called

yacht or yacht where they decide is the on with a very mathematical scale does this qualify as yacht rock or does it yacht and the the top the the hundred on a scale of zero to a hundred a hundred being what a fool believes the most yacht song so you're calibrating backwards off of what a fool believes uh um and so this song uh and over 50 is yacht and below 50 is now uh this, this song I looked up totally caught me by surprise in the episode. Like, I still remember driving around like, what the fuck is this? And I don't think they even said it at first. I was like, what is this weird song? And then, oh, my God, it's McGruff.

And then they ended up rating it yacht. It landed at 61 on a scale of 100. An exact tie with Lionel richie's all night long it's as much of a yacht rock song as all night long wow so that that's and they're critical they'll throw shit down the drain right uh uh so uh this is about as good of a tribunal as could have um reviewed the thing and yeah it's it's legit steely dan and culturally like this was so this is still 1986 album oh yeah we're halfway through mcgruff smart kids at this point okay so like this is still an era when everyone is smoking in the office and people taking liquid lunches and stuff

although i looked up because i was like well didn't there used to be something about hard liquor ads on tv and i had to stop reading because it seemed like a very interesting article I want to read later. But there was a ban on hard liquor ads until like 1994. And it was self-imposed by the liquor company. Like they were not advertising on TV. And then Seagram's broke it in 1994 and then kind of opened up the floodgates i think there's still a law that you cannot show like any alcohol ads until a certain hour of the day on broadcast at least i don't know about cable former universal studios owner

seagrams yeah that ties it back to theme parks so finally oh. Oh, thank God. I, if they, I don't know. Like, yeah, it's, it's always funny to see like the, the PSAs about alcohol and tobacco and then think about like, so, uh, the government has allocated money to urge caution and restraint on these things, but there's still a million politicians who get alcohol and cigarette lobbying money or like sure jewel lobbying money like e-cigarette lobby money so it's all really backwards isn't it and cigarettes not really addressed too much on this album not nearly i mean they don't get there's there isn't a dedicated cigarette song at least well because all cops probably smoke because i've had mcgruff smoked like a

chimney oh yeah you think i sound like this yeah the irony though of the chill ass just that is a like literally last night i was drinking a glass of wine and listening to the song alcohol if you can believe it let's give it a little more like just because it's so i won't complain like picture a live concert you it's neat the bass listen to this bass line all for what they say let me repeat can't you see it can hurt you getting drunk for a thrill real friends won't desert you don't you know it can kill it seems so very nice ah but you'd best be looking twice cause you will have to pay a price you're gonna lose someday. It's no good when you're drinking.

It won't show you the way. And he didn't go with the kids choir here. Yeah, I think it's maybe what I like the most. Yeah. Kids abandoned. It's okay. The good little bass part at the end yeah i can picture a concert version of this and in my head when it's just instrumental and he's not singing he is walking over to a stool with a scotch and soda on it to have a sip like i'm instantly imagining the live performance and someone like

grooving along when they don't have to sing or play and like taking a drink and then like yeah one sec quick sip and then all right here we go verse three yeah alcoholics are worse than terrorists send them out of the country. This song feels like... Rolling Stones' Miss You, one of the best songs ever. There's a version of it that's nine minutes, and it's an extended jam version. This song could have six, seven, eight, nine more minutes of just free association like jazz guitar solo.

It would be... You would not get sick of you wouldn't get tired of it and that's how they that's how steely dan does it man you're uh yeah you're getting some bit you get the big spoken word entry maybe this one is missing a spoken word entry yes but i want it to be some weird like about a you know about like a trip he took to the islands i don't want it to be about some phone number and then i met a little uh caribbean girl a couple of blurry nights later well when we do it live we'll do a we'll insert a three minute like rap like in the middle there sure where he talks and then another three minutes of guitar soloing, and then maybe a little more rap.

Who knows? Yeah, yeah. You know, the locals, they like to say I'm one of them, and I tell this story a lot. Second home for old McGriff. The Cabo Wabo. I'm there in my mind right now.

Cabo Wabo canine. It's like Clooney talking about that fucking lake. That lake that they shot Ocean's Twelve at by all their vacation homes. Well, that's how McGruff is in kind of an Ocean's posse with Smokey the Bear. Yeah, yeah. And with the Vlasic pickle mascot

voiced by Leon Red redbone i mean i don't know he doesn't know who is it it's what's it it's like hey cha-cha who's who's the guy uh um the voices he narrates for us is no man jimmy durrani yeah maybe maybe the vlasic voice is not one of those people no he's he's like a soft sweet kind of uh um i hmm while other things happen i'll check into who voiced the vlasic do you even know who i'm talking about oh i 100 yeah yeah yeah he's like a stork or something yeah he's a dignified stork he's kind of a on par with uh mr peanut they have a certain he's probably in the game oh yeah dignity about them though like the p like smoky and mcgruff have causes and vlasic pickle is more of a his causes eat pickles oh don't buy counterfeit

pickles i feel like sometimes he has that sort of like ed winnie voice and other times i do think he has different voices i feel like there's a cgi one of him now that's a little upsetting bill hater is mr peanut now is that right yeah yeah he's one of the only mascots that isn't uh chris parnell oh yeah he's always all of them um okay the next song is called just say no and it's not as good as the other songs but part one part of it is hilarious so we'll just play mama maybe other kids are doing drugs and saying that you really ought to come along Mama, maybe they don't know That trouble will be staying So you know you ought to sing this song

Just say no Just say no Just say no Just say no Just say no Just say no Just say no Just say no I mean, that is a good synth, too. Good harmonies.

Never be afraid to walk away from trouble Taking drugs is really not the way Never hesitate away from trouble. Taking drugs is really not the way. Never hesitate. Just get out on the double. This one's a little busy. And you know exactly what to say. Slacking up primary. Too many bells and whistles.

Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no Just say no Just say no Just say no You know kids, your friends don't have any right to tell you what to do with your own body That's something you decide for yourself

So if someone tries to get you to amuse drugs, don't waste time arguing with them. You don't have to say why you don't take drugs. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no

just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no just say no to maybe the lesser. I screwed up. We can go back and play alcohol again. You can overlay that. What I was saying,

you can overlay that onto like the music video sequences from Disney parades where they're dancing to Gloria Estefan at a new hotel they want to showcase. There's a lot of, this is a real Miami Sand Machine vibe in here. I think the harmonies remind me a little bit

of Huey Lewis and the News. Oh, interesting. The 80s update of the 60s harmonies it's sort of a do you believe in love kind of vibe so more great to i i think i'm doing a little like kind of wine flavor profile thing here with this album right oh yeah i detect a little bit of a little bit of huey with shades of gloria like if you were djing you would maybe play that after yeah i could you i could see mixing that going to i by the way i've i talked about this when i was on jordan jesse go but how uh jordan was asking me about how at my wedding a real thing uh my number one

one of the top moments of the wedding was when the DJ successfully segued into Erotic City out of the song Hot Drinks. Oh. The Wendy's instructional song. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. It's a very like oddly good. It's a really relative of McGruff. I just was sent this.

I was just texted Hot Drinks. Okay. We could. Have we not talked about it before? I don't think we have. Oh, man. I've never that's crazy oh yeah this was a huge thing in the in the fun of your dive basement and i and i there was a dj who was a very good dj and bless his heart he was he was nice and amenable to everything but he like i remember explaining so there's a couple songs that we really must be played and one of them is is a song from a Wendy's training video.

And he was like, okay, well, you know, keep in mind I do weddings all the time. And, you know, you really want some crowd pleasers just to get, you know, grandma out of the dance floor. And we were like, I know, but the kind of people who will be at this wedding and truly hot drinks tore the dance floor up. It was like such a dream.

Cause we always begged that funnier like holiday parties like will you just will you put this in the mix we're all gonna go insane if you put it on and they always they just said no oh and so that was our chain it was a fucking jam at the wedding and then he segged it into prince perfectly that's great incredible moment thank you dj dennis the phrase not particularly pleasing, the phrase hot drinks. Have you heard the song? Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen all those Wendy's videos.

Yeah, because it doesn't sound like a cold drink sounds refreshing. A hot, you don't like. A hot drink. Hot isn't really the aspect that you like of a, unless it's like the winter. In the context of those videos, they're talking about how you, a or wendy's employee would present coffee and tea right um but i think the line to which you need to fill it up yeah which is a real safety issue dealing with boiling hot uh drinks came to a head not long after with mcdonald's mcdonald's yeah um and it did turn out that mcdonald's cooking that coffee too hot it out that mcdonald's uh cooking that coffee too hot it

was way too hot yeah it's colder yeah um but i uh uh i think the association with wendy's where i think fast food restaurant soft drink soda and then the phrase hot drinks i'm just imagining like warm soda it's just the most unpleasant uh thing really gets you going um although that is i think there are old recipe books or like cure all things of like you know no not feeling well enjoy a hot doctor serve hot dr pepper like i have heard that and that sounds like something you would have had as a child well okay of course all right all right next we got we got we got a roll here uh next song is smart kids which i think is the song we were talking about before yes yeah Well, okay. Of course. All right, all right. Next, we got to roll here. Next song is Smart Kids,

which I think is the song we were talking about before. This intro, yes, yeah, yeah. And this is an intro. All right, here we go. The song itself loses me a little bit. Boy, it starts hot. But the intro is strong, yeah. Yeah. Using drugs, smart kids know that it's wrong Feeling good, smart kids know they belong

Moving up, smart kids reaching a star Being sure, smart kids know who they are And it's true, truly it's true You should never do drugs You can just say no because it's true Truly it's true You don't need to do drugs you can just say no because it's true truly it's true you don't need to do drugs and the smart kids know that it's true it's so much true and they know that a little more sex oh yeah double sex

that's that's a delight that's fantastic i haven't got nothing else there i just like i like that intro a lot um and what do you uh the next song is my favorite what are we now replay we are now up to nine track nine uh the song make your body last yeah i think this what this this became your number one i think it's become my number one yeah yeah it's uh and i know that there's the the part that you're into specifically that i agree i've hummed the melody that um yeah i think i think i know what you're saying um it's just i think it's like a little step down thing it's very cool yeah there's a lot of hooks it's just like packed with hooks i love a hooky song the irony has sailed we're just straight up oh yeah there's all this little part yeah there's no irony there all right here we go make your body last it's not a song

about sex by the way thank god it's about not doing drugs to make your body you need blue All right, here we go. When some kids, other kids, are taking drugs and want you to play. Today. If you care, really care, about what goes inside you, you'll say. No way. Cause it's your body. You've got to make it last. It's your body.

Treat it right. Cause it's your body. You've got to make it last. It's your body. Treat it right. When some kids. That sax is great too. Our kids can't come send one kid to play. A big Hall & Oates here. I think Yeah. Big Hall & Oates here.

I think it's the Hall & Oates-y. It's kind of got some out-of-touch. And the sax feels very Hall & Oates. And also the little cut-up samples reminds me a lot of adult education. I don't know how much you know the Hall and Oates. I don't know that one. But the little cut, cut, cut, like they're starting to do that kind of thing, like editing the vocal samples.

Yeah, because you can hear the cut, but that's a style, and it's kind of cool sounding like it's cut off as opposed to just doing it. The people making these songs and the parents of the children listening to it, likely children had their youth in the 60s and 70s and probably destroyed their bodies and brains with substances and alcohol and cigarettes. Well, that's why they're trying to pass on this knowledge. We did it. You shouldn't do it. We still do it on the weekends when you're not around.

But we're going to make you feel like shit this is a real can you go to the the spoken word of that if you can locate it we can just keep it's a real uh uh there's it's an incredibly convoluted message i'm just gonna play it through because i like it so much. Sure. Because it's your body. You've got to make it last. It's your body. Treat it right. Because it's your body. You've got to make it last.

It's your body. Treat it right. Just think. In all the world, there's only one you. And anything you ever do will be done in your body. Since bodies are made to last a good long time, don't hurt yours by putting drugs in it. Just say no. Anything you do will be in your body.

The only thing you, it'll always be in your body. So you have to be careful. Don't put drugs in it. Yeah. Not you in it. Don't huff paint. Don't swallow gum. Don't put paint in your body. But he's also sort of examining like what is the self what is the body you know like

it's it's a vessel to travel this this spaceship earth with there is a theme parky message of like there's only one you you know you're great you're special there's only one uh you well we're in brain bender territory again yeah if there's a little buzzy in our brain he should not pick up a can of paint and shove it down uh his 12 year old boy's throat yeah it's also kind of like he's saying though there's no afterlife we can only go around this earth one time i'm a humanist uh i'm happy to go over this with you uh you know let's let's let's hang and talk about it you know with drugs you can find a lot more about it in the work of kurt vonnegut a close friend of mine oh my god shame what he's done to his body that is yeah i think he smoked uh in the hospital at the end yeah uh what is interesting is that as mcgruff's creator lived into his 90s and he made his body

last he truly did like as much almost as much as you can do right now in this day and age so he was whatever he was doing he was doing something right but it's all very counter to uh you know keith richards he has done everything that mcgruff warns against he has not treated his body right he's just said yes uh i don't want to accuse keith richards of doing inhalants but i mean i don't know about spray for sure sprays but for sure yeah he also fell out of a tree a coconut tree and hit his head and had to have his skull opened up to remove like the swelling from his brain for let his brain breathe essentially oh my god um but he's fine out of a coconut tree

but they're hey the rolling stones are playing the rose bowl soon so everything's fine with Keith. Keith has stopped drinking, though, I read. So he had gone down, I think, from me reading some interview with him 10 years ago where it's like his assistant came in and poured a solo cup full of vodka at 10 a.m.

or at noon. Yikes. So he's, you know, maybe McGruff has gotten through to Keith at this point. But we're saying that's why. Yeah, that's maybe McGruff has gotten through to Keith at this point. We're saying that's why. Yeah, that's why. Did you guys hear the stories a few years ago when they were doing a reunion tour?

Of course, they played like a warm-up show at the Echo in Los Angeles, but they... I don't want to talk about that. You missed it? Well, I was in line. I got out of line because I thought my number wasn't going to be called. And then if I had just stuck around, they were giving to like, they didn't have enough people. So if you were just there in front,

you would have walked up and bought the ticket and gone to see them. Oh my God. It's a whole, I hate it. I'm so mad at myself. Anyway, but their, their practice space was like in a warehouse or rental space over by the Burbank airport.

And like other, like people would be walking by because there were other businesses or other companies located around there and they were like who's playing the rolling stones so fucking latin they're like oh it's the rolling stones and then i think they the other anecdote from that is that like mccartney was was like you know rehearsing in the same complex or in the same area so like wow all sharing walls with chili johns yeah chili johns is shaking with the sounds of the stone in the big dog garage oh a lot of burbank i don't know the big dog garage that's jay's jay's where

all his cars are uh oh isn't it called the big dog it is oh i didn't know that offhand i didn't know that that's a terminology unrelated to the apparel company we all love big dog yeah clothing big dog clothing which we usually wear when recording yeah most yeah yeah we gotta start posting those photos yeah um all right we're heading we're heading to the end. We got two more on this album. How much more is there in the other? Eight songs on the other album. We'll see. We could. We'll see where we're at after these two songs, and we'll assess what we're going to do.

All right. So this song is called I'll Decide on My Own. Wait. No. No. It cut back. Sorry. I'm doing this live, folks folks i've done pretty good so

far here we go this is like you're a friend of mine by clarence clemens and jackson brown or something about what i was saying i think it's like good and safe by The intro is more like, but this is my song. Don't ever make me. Yeah, this part. Don't ever shake me. Don't ever make me. It's kind of the Phil Collins 50s harkening mixed with the 80s. It's that sax specifically that sounds like the Clarence Clemons, your friend of mine intro at least.

But that song is, or maybe that's my least favorite. I agree. It sounds to me, it reminds me too much of like, you know, like Christian cassettes that I would have had to listen to growing up. We can skip that. You guys obviously go and listen to All the Side of My Own in your own time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we'll skip to. Is there a single playlist that has these? you guys obviously go and listen to all the side of my own and your own time yeah yeah yeah um but

we'll skip to is there a single playlist that has these there's a youtube video that has the full thing that's what i've ripped and listening to but they're also have been broken up into singles though warning make your body last on that particular dub uh has has some cassette warbling issues yes and i i should have no i should have played i should have rips make your body last from the other rip of it which was yeah taken from i screwed up i'm sorry uh uh it's really funny that we know that that we've gone into it and are aware of the varying audio fidelity issues between the youtube copies i'm gonna let you collate all the links for the description oh sure it's

probably already done yeah and it's all here okay um yeah so i apologize to the listener you i'll post a full high quality version to make your body last in a very steely dan move apologizing for audio fidelity issues they had to like one of their albums they had to put a big note on it like we are not comfortable with the way this way and it's like it's fine what do you guys right you guys are maniacs hey they want to be just they want to be very professional and i get it so this song is called it's not one of my favorite songs either but i appreciate how weird it is yeah i'm glad i'm me is the song oh no okay well here let's play it and then i'll say what i think's going on musically

okay i think it's a pretty fun ending i like being me and i know that you agree it is so very true you're the best at being you. Really you, really you, yeah. I like every day, I can work and I can play. Every day when it's done, I look back on all the fun. Yes, I'm glad I'm me. Yes, I'm glad I'm me. Because my life is really great

I'm gonna celebrate Well I'm glad I'm me, yes I'm glad I'm me Because my life is really great I'm gonna celebrate Drugs are not for me I'm so glad I'm free Drugs are not for me I'm so glad I'm free

I like being me And I know that you agree It is so very true You're the best at being you Yeah, I like every day I can work and I can play Every day when it's done I look back and all the fun

Lots of fun Yes, I'm glad I'm free Yes, I'm glad I'm free I thought you said the end is what you were looking for No, no, no You had an idea of what it's from

I created a YouTube comment for making me... I mean, do you offhand know... To me, it's very clear what they're attributing. Is it... The very beginning, I was like a little Fred Schneider-y. Oh, sure. Yeah, that's what we were at the beach. You're right.

That too. B-52 shouting and kind of a little weird and Rock Lobster. Yeah. That was my thought. Totally. i think it's extremely devo oh yeah right right i also think that song with zero uh change of the lyrics or anything just give that to devo they play it and you're like that's a really subversive song because it's a lot there's a song called there's a song that's good and a song it's a beautiful world and which are both there it's like the exact same thing it's a lot there's a song called there's a song that's good and a song it's a beautiful world and which are both there it's like the exact same thing it's like so positive

right something's weird about it right uh um yeah i think they could just straight up and if they had straight up covered that you'd be like oh in a devilish devo movie they uh appropriated this reagan era child song yeah yeah yeah i think that's a pretty good it's just behind dare to be stupid as far as uh devo homages go i was hard there's a lot of interesting moves in there the synth is weird yeah i apologize to the song for saying it's not one of my it is good and the robot oh man yeah when the robot comes in i don't know what's wrong with me that's the great the robot's like giving him advice who is the robot. Oh, man. Yeah, when the robot comes in, I don't know what's wrong with me. That's the great.

The robot's like giving him advice. Who is the robot? Why is it there? If you were a kid and someone was like, you have to listen to both sides of this cassette. At a certain point, I feel like you'd either be like, all right, I get it. Don't do drugs. Like, can you tell me how to deal with bullying or something else I'm dealing with? Yeah.

Or just like, okay, great. You've listed off all the drugs I would like to try. Now I know which drugs to try despite whoever's making me listen to this. I know the differences between the types. Yeah. Yeah. Also, you start showing up at school and saying, I'm glad I'm me. I'm good at being great.

Then now you end up with a bullying problem right your favorite teacher takes you aside like hey i don't want to tell you to not be yourself but like you or you maybe chill chill let's chill it out a little just calm down that is the scott garner elementary school story big time like teachers trying to help me like just maybe don't just like like because i had a much more falsetto voice too so i'm coming in like like i'm talking about disneyland and like i think you might some trouble might be ahead for you the kid is smoking you're like hey you need to make your body last come on buddy as but now i have the confidence to present to proudly present myself as a good boy yeah yeah finally i don't really i don't fear repercussion uh sure use those matchbooks to

smoke use them to start a matchbook collection you could keep them in a large glass jar so you can see all of them and it'd make a nice decoration for your room on a shelf do you jason have a matchbook collection i mean just casually but i use them i thought you might yeah all right so we are at one hour 20 minutes here okay so well how do we feel like is the is the number two we could certainly make a meal out of number two, but we also could just go to the highlights. I mean, if you want to save number two for a future episode. The thing is, there are four sides or four cassettes. There are four sided cassette. It is four.

This is cassette three. So there are two, a full other or three. Excuse me. I believe three other cassettes that are not online that are holy grail so we could just play a couple things from here and then if a listener knows where to find this full deep dive right we could also do more mcgruff clearly there's a lot there's a lot more mcgruff to come yeah um let do, you know what? There are two songs specifically I want to play. Okay.

So now we're on to what is the name of this album? So this is McGruff Cares For You, the 1991 album that was exclusively available at Burger King. And from the title, is it him like on a velvet bed? It is a little drawing of McGruff and just says McGruff and it's a little drawing of mcgruff and just says mcgruff and it's a little little uh magnifying glass and then if only it was him with a champagne flute with a second one waiting for you rose petals on the bed all i want to do all is write new mcgruff songs too i wish he was still

around to like i'd be like i got an album for you and then i like it was like a late period mcgruff album you know like uh like a loretta jack white loretta lynn situation where it's like oh my god we forgot how good mcgruff was this is his return to form you need to warn kids nowadays about like vodka tampons like a child chorus like don't chug beer in your asshole yeah don't butch up that john cena is an actor is that a gag in blockers like years after yeah of course it takes like five years for something to end up in a movie in fact I'd recommend not putting a funnel

in your asshole at all for no reason unless a doctor's doing it unless it's medicine to make your asshole better be careful with your asshole hand sanitizer only use it for

hands don't put liquids up your butt willy-nilly make sure you know just what it is like that's a we need to make that song all right uh okay so this song i like this this song falls a little more in line with what you would think the album would be the songs are a little less good it's a little more instructional but there are some gems on it and there's still some good beats this song your way this song i don't think there is a burger king like he goes be nutritious everybody again once in a while burger king wouldn't be bad everyone deserves a treat hershey's chocolate pie for dessert, please. So this song is called

Alpha Better. So here, I won't even say anything about it. Here we go. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V,

W, X, Y, This song's got a good groove that I like. Okay, gang, let's Q-R-S-T-U-V W-X-Y-Z This song's got a good groove that I like. Okay, gang. Let's take the alphabet letter by letter and with our street smarts make the alpha better. A. Alarms. They'll guard home against theft. B. No.

Yep. No. You gotta listen now. Listen now. Rhyme Watch. The neighborhood participates. C. Yep. No. You've got to listen now. Listen now. Game. Rhyme Watch. The neighborhood participates. Game. Drugs.

Just saying, though, you'll feel really great. Game. Environment. The planet Earth is ours to care for. Yep. Fire drills. Fire danger must be prepared for. Game.

Graffiti. Pain outrigger on the walls. Age. Halloween. A time to be safe trick-or-treating at the mall. G. Graffiti. Paint out litter on the walls. H. Halloween. A time to be safe trick or treat at the mall. I. I.D.s.

Carriers day and night. J. J-walk. It's dangerous. Cross out the light. J-walk. Exclamation point.

Don't. Closely. Parentheses. L. And then when it comes back here I really like the group again. I'm sure there are lots of people walking away. Ooh. Yeah. L. And then when it comes back here, I really like the group again. Are sure there are lots of people walking away. Ooh, yeah.

M. McGrath, the crime dog. Join with his team. N. Neighborhood. Keep yours crime free and clean. O. I hope S is skipped to the end of the alphabet.

The young leader helped at school. P. Prevention. Youth patrols are a helpful tool. Q. Youth patrols. Ask them so you'll learn a lot. R.

It's a leap. Pirate. Be a good one for younger dads. S. Shoplifting. It's not yours unless you pay. K. Telephone.

Dial 9-1-1 when you need aid. U. Users are losers. Winners know that's true. Wait, wait, wait1-1 when you need aid. You. Users are losers. Fuck. Winners know that's true. Wait, wait, wait, here we go. Volunteer, there is so much you can do. W.

Watch out, help out. You've heard McGraw say it. X. Xylophone. Xylophone. Yeah, we can play it. Fuck off. No, no, no.

Y. You. Y. The key to all we tell today Z Zapp our song is done Let's go and play You kids are pretty good

That's great I mean to say Wow So that's Certainly more what you would think A McGruff album would be A lot of things To be fearful of

Like a lot of things I worried about as a kid Strangers Home invasion Fire drills But I do think Ask to play a xylophone A lot of things to be fearful of, like a lot of things I worried about as a kid. Strangers, home invasion, fire drills. Being asked to play a xylophone. Being asked to play a xylophone. That beat is very Ariel Pink. That beat alone without the kids, I think, is a cool little groove.

Yeah. But then the kids obviously take it down because it's like a child song. The other novelty song that was played at my wedding was a boy band song that i made at funny or die with nick carosi and charles ingram uh those are the two oddity requests and it has like a little rap part like boy band songs might have had and it has the exact beat where there's an x and you don't know what to say for it x is for the xylophone yeah there's a joke of like this was this is a little tossed off joke. It's, it's something I made.

Oh, and then he does it. That is how he handles X. Yeah. For real. Yeah. We can play it. X is for Xander Cage.

He protects us. I just realized we have to play two more songs. Sorry. Okay. I don't know what. That at least had a variety of topic matter. Yes. Not just drugs.

And this album does have different topics. Now, this song is so goddamn confusing. And I will just say the name of it. And we will try to figure it out. It is called Who Has Zards? Z-A-R-D-S. Whoa. They're sneaky.

They're sly. They lurk in neighborhoods. They love to cause us trouble. They're all up to no good. Rhymes, anyone? This feels problematic already. They lay in wait In unlit streets Their founders' schoolyards

Who are they? They are the dangerous conditions Known as the Zards The stranger Zard seems friendly when he offers you a ride. Or a dollar, or sweet candy. With a tantalizing smile. The Stranger Zard is tricky. It can be a woman, too.

But she's still just a stranger. And you know what to do Sure, we're street smart And won't talk to strangers Sitting in a car We'll walk away and go report We're an unknown stranger, Zard The lonely Zard wants to catch you

It's a Zard I have no idea I don't know this term In some unknown neighborhood when neighbors drive you home from play because then he can't come bother you and he'll have to go away get lost you see my lonely Also very experimental because it just switched a whole This album is more experimental than the other one I believe Sweet

Every zard acts different And there's more than just a zard Predator, I think they're talking about Predator Zard is not a term anyone has ever used Or used since We've heard about the unlocked z unlocked but he is just a bore he'll never come around our house we always lock our door it's like slender man it sounds like they're warning about the dangers of slender man yeah you get the gist of it zards i don't know

that's i don't know if that was a term maybe he was trying to get to take off, and then somebody was like, that's confusing. Why would you say that in a PSA? Officer, a zard is after me. Okay, kid. All right, you move it along. There's people here with real problems. Goes back out police station. His kid is captured by zard instantly.

He's like on the phone, Mom, there's a zard has got me. What are you talking about, a zard? got me what are you talking about a zard very you're very creative aren't you honey okay i'll see you for dinner you're just calling from brian's house obviously you're watching one of your little shows let's find you someone trustworthy to get you home like a wrestling coach or a priest always trust a priest always trust a wrestling coach congressman this this actually leads in to track seven strangers don't look strange and it's a similar some of them do some of them do this song spells it out for you and it's a lot of kids singing so again

it's not nearly as good as the other album song but it is you'll hear hi kids hi i think the toughest job for me and for your parents is teaching kids to stay away from strangers strangers aren't people who look strange or dangerous the stranger is anyone your family doesn't know real well if a person has never been to your house for dinner, that's a stranger. If you don't know his kids or where he lives, that's a stranger. Even people you think you know can really be strangers.

Let me ask you about different people, and you tell me whether they're strangers or not. How about the mail carrier? I've known him a long, long time. But I guess he's really a stranger. I don't even know where he lives. Right. How about the school crossing guard?

He's really nice, and he helps us. But he's not a good friend of my family. These people you see every day? Yes, he is. How about the woman who works in the ice cream store? Oh, Jason, that's a friend. That's not. That's no sword.

Shut your mouth. So she's a stranger. She sure is. Is a school bus driver a stranger? I see him every day. He knows my name, but my family doesn't know him. He's a stranger. Yep, he's a stranger.

These kids are good. Is your uncle a stranger? I don't see him every day, but he's not a stranger. No, he's a stranger. These kids are good. Is your uncle a stranger? I don't see him every day, but he's not a stranger. No, he's not. Most people you see are strangers. People you have to stay away from. I'm evicted from my office. You can't talk to strangers because you only have to talk to the wrong

one once to be in real trouble. Grown-ups know better than to try to talk with kids, so when you don't talk to a stranger, don't worry about it it's not bad manners don't what it's good sense all right here we go there are people coming to this country who don't come from here Jesus. Yeah. It's like from Slammerist or something. Strangers look well-dressed and clean.

Why don't bad guys look bad? Why don't they look like they should? Some seem as nice as your dad. How come bad guys look good? It's a castle on the clouds It's a bad woman at sweet

It's so hard to make a dog like a poor sailor Strangers don't always act strange. They try to seem friendly and nice. They don't carry signs that say danger.

So just take McGraw's good advice. What do you do about strangers? Stay away from them. Don't look at them. Don't walk near them and don't talk to them when a stranger talks to you don't answer just keep walking if a stranger gets near you run if a stranger follows you run someplace safe and yell everyone is a threat the suburbs are a hell. At the end of the song is, and yell. Yeah.

I wish it had echoed. And yell, yell, yell, yell. Yeah. Well, we can make that change. We can remix this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was interested that you, do you believe that the crossing guard is not a stranger? It depends.

I feel like, you know, I was. You were upset with their classification of those people at the start as strangers the ice cream lady my mom would talk to like cross like there were like not a lot of crossing guards because we were in like suburban sprawl so there wasn't it was far to walk anywhere but the bus drivers my mom like all knew but i'm saying even if mcgruff's lesson is you see the crossing guard every day you say hello he seems perfectly nice but if the crossing guard comes up to you and goes hey you want to come over to my house you tell your kid don't go to the house he's a stranger yeah you learn i'm just trying to explain mcgruff's message but it is reinforcing like the world you

know it sounds like the fucking water world of like the world. Dry land is gone. The world is gone. The oceans have taken back the planet. The suburbs are a war zone. I agree that my mother raised me and I was too sheltered, but I think McGruff's lesson is good here. I think it's an important distinction to make that the crossing guard is friendly but don't go with

him you've never but we don't go to his house he could be a secret pedophile i think they are i mean nowadays certainly it's like i'm friends on the internet or like i know them from fortnite it's like well okay the internet is not uh i think it's a weird message to convey via this like soaring frightening song I guess uh this like I'm trying to think what that it's I don't know it's like a scary like it's like a tears for fears outtake it's like really big and echoey and frightening um it certainly is I'm just saying McGruff is spot on with this message i think it is a good little distinction uh-huh to make but what a strange thing to do oh it's bizarre it's terrifying and i was just scared of everyone yeah well that's fair that's good i mean that's better

than your mother raised you're right yeah be afraid of everyone don't trust me be afraid of this tape in fact trust the people on nick at night they're all long dead they can't hurt you maury amsterdam ain't around to get you into a van oh maury am not the first time he's come up on the podcast i don't think all right so there are i'll list the names of the songs so you guys can listen to them in your own time we will dissect them on a different show i'm sure uh number two anger number three little bit of litter number five cool rules number six buddies and then the last track is number eight unique about which is a very similar like send them off with a good feeling about themselves kind of a message so but i i think you closed with the right one that felt like the album closer yes that's like

uh this like terrifying unsettling notes that echoes out uh and then where the word yell and a scary drone after a bunch of like the all the songs have had kids but that was a frightening kid oh yeah and i uh yeah and i think it's good i like them and gruff was experimenting on the After a bunch of like, all the songs have had kids, but that was a frightening kid song. Oh, yeah. And I think it's good. I like that McGruff was experimenting on the second. I like that he didn't just rest on his laurels and do the same type of stuff he did. You know, because so many artists do that and they just go back to the well.

McGruff was taking a risk there. That's not, nothing on the first album sounds like that. Yeah. Well, McGruff's always been about shaking the box. Yes. Even an individual mcgruff album he's covering a lot of territory right and that's what i'm impressed with having surveyed this whole thing um yeah look he made that the last song was almost like industrial or something yeah after a bunch of you know kind of uh sort of marimba miami sound machine kind of like it's like's like McGruff's tin machine, David Bowie's tin machine. You know, they was trying something, trying to do the 90.

Like he was trying to get ahead of the curve on a lot of these things. And I. If you become friends with soupy sales sons, diverting your successful career to make two albums with them might not be a good idea. Stay away from the sales boys. If there's later 90s stuff, I would be interested if there's a song like... I don't think there is, but I would love to find more.

I am a little... It's probably a little too early for this, even on the Burger King one, that there's not a... I feel like there was a lot of... I knew about the AIDS crisis crisis but i only knew the red ribbon i feel like we would do a lot of charity fundraisers for this sort of thing but net they wouldn't explain to kids what it was it was just a problem just go sell those pizza kits so you want a mcgruff song explaining aids no not explaining the full the full overview of it but i

feel like i saw a lot of like the aids quilts the aids quilt would come around don't get aids it's really not good for you your body your body is your vessel so keep aids out of it but in turn i just mean in terms of messaging towards children from the early to mid 90s of like drugs aids uh violence we grew up with a lot of aids yeah by 1991 yeah yeah yeah yeah johnson i don't know if there's any mcgruff sex stuff though i don't think there's any oh yeah i mean like a first grader's understanding of aids is a little like it's i get it like if you're talking to seventh and eighth graders yeah that was the whole thing with me when i was watching aid specials in like a condom

demonstration as a kid i'm like i don't know what i'm supposed to do with this right i don't even know what they're talking about i was the kid watching it i mean six or seven i guess that's forgivable but they're watching they're putting a condom on a banana i'm like so what's this all about then i don't and i think i asked my parents and they're like um they want to watch looney tunes instead yeah i learned about the human body from rob leifeld comics so it took me a while to deprogram myself from horrifying 90s uh hyper stylized comic book art i think we all as comic fans we learned a lot about anatomy from the X-Men. Anatomy. Well, your feet are constantly pointed and you have a lot of belts and pouches. Sure. Well, I think of McGruff, if there was a further album, he would have tried to get into grunge.

I found something on the way out the door and I'm just going to have to have you look this up. Do you know? You would know what I was talking about already. Is there a McGruff grunge song? Maybe. Continue though. Okay. uh you'll you would know what i was talking about already if is there a mcgruff grunge song maybe continue though okay i'm gonna need you to google soundcloud or is it soundcloud or is it one of the other i don't know just google x crime dog x oh i think all has one big i think i know what this is yeah um this is uh and the that's the artist and there is an album called 1984 through 86. And here's what this is. There is a hardcore band from the 2000s that made a couple of EPs. And the EPs were called Take a Bite, Drunk Kids Can Bite It, and Bark Today.

And you know what those EPsps were they were all covers of mcgruff's smart kids album oh i guess i didn't realize that okay have you found it i can help look if you don't it's either a soundcloud or a uh um what's one of those other x crime dog x as soon as you said before to 86 hardcore band I was like oh they cover them of course they would have covered because it's all anti-reign oh here we go yeah yeah yeah oh wow so just like I

sampled alcohol if I make your body last right here play whatever you're into let's just get it all right kids this is your last chance oh wow anyone can't find their parents find a police officer Get a tape. All right, kids. This is your last chance. Oh, wow. But if anyone falls, hit them up. If anyone can't find their parents, find a police officer. We're expanding on it from Boston, Massachusetts. What's up kids?

I'm a kid I'm taking fun and I want you to play Say that you care Really care Then you'll say no way It's your body You've gotta make it last It's your body

Drink it right It's your body You've gotta make it last i guess i didn't realize that there was actually covers of the songs wow that fucking whips fucking slaps they were a hardcore straight edge band i think okay i wasn't sure about that element of it also straight edge okay uh uh because that's the thing with like i was reading an article that referred to like minor threat and that was also i guess a lot of hardcore bands are that so it actually weirdly the messages are they are conveying the mcgruff messages right so they like the message. Earnestly, yeah, in some way. But there's also,

this is not the only time that McGruff and punk have collided because there is a McGruff song by Jello Biafra and the Melvins, which I don't know offhand. So McGruff has inspired musicians of all genres well maybe one this is the melvin song let's hear it I don't know. I don't know. Long hits for Metal Strip. Thank you, Osama You are the savior of our economy today

Now that the dark comes To darken the stars For us to fight For bad security I mean, I'm not sure exactly what's happening. Yeah, I mean... I mean, you get the idea yeah I don't know if I do I don't know where you get it in inspires everyone I think um I just yeah I just love that that that uh McGruff's musical reach is has been pretty far yeah um but let's keep it up that's the more more more more covers i think with i really do especially with that that oh oh oh that's we're asking for that to be brought

into current that like churches should be playing that song we should close a lot our live shows with that maybe i would like more noise yeah i would love like fucked up or titus andronicus or monster magnet or something to do some gruff covers sure yeah i challenge yeah any artist uh worth their we have a couple musician listeners i feel like that are in bands um i don't know if they're on patreon yet but they should we challenge whoever if you're in a band we challenge you take your pick yeah i mean though obviously i would love to hear some real i want to hear that extended alcohol jam yeah but um but we may have to do it also so sure great we may have to do the full tribute we're also gonna have to like you know study jazz fusion for a while to like get up to

get the musicality up. That's fair. That's some tough, that's some tough noodling. Uh, he's doing there. Yeah, that's true.

McGruff himself, who I assume, right. I'm going to have to practice standing on the other side of a sound recording booth, smoking and nodding my head a couple of years ago, a couple of years ago for my birthday. I just,

I rented a rehearsal room and we just like played songs and everyone would switch off playing instruments or whatever maybe this birthday we do a similar thing but it's all mcgruff songs we're gonna have to figure out all the mcgruff songs and play them we have to learn how it we have to learn the charts on this thing well we'll see you know there's a lot to think about we've gone this is now we're almost a two hour and 50 minutes wow all right well let's get let's get out of here now um but that was you know with it with two entire albums to review yeah it was bound to happen uh hey everybody involved in this these albums great job musicians out of the world step it up let yeah mcgruff's confusing messages rain and new songs inspired by his met you know songs about like making sure your throat disposing of old light bulbs properly

or you know finding proper recycle centers vaping is addictive just because it is candy or it tastes like candy don't do chew it's not it's not as relevant as it once was but still don't chew don't and jason those disney pins on amazon are counterfeit don't you dare think about ordering them and trying to trade them scrapper pins the online when you said that you could buy disney pins on amazon oh really yeah that's real well i because and you know i got this from other disney blogs like that you can buy bulk pins online and then use them to trade but that's how then these scrapper pins get into circulation. I've been working with the Chicago Police Department to rein in the fake pin operation.

Fake pins will soon have harsher punishments than child trafficking, as it should be. McGruff doing a sting with fake pins. He's got one of those pin badges on for the Disneyland. You're under arrest, pal. I don't

want collectors to take a wash on that uh the the i don't particularly care about the line item on disney's budget sheet about like oh we lost thousands of dollars to fake pins like oh i'm not exactly sympathetic don't try to spin your way out of this one pal you were wrong all right let's get out of here. Yeah, yeah. This needs to be done. All right. You survived. You survived.

The podcast arrived. The podcast arrived. If there's a podcast you love, make sure you're supporting it. It helps them. It helps them with the infrastructure they need. Like a wire splitter they had to start using because they have headphones they needed to listen to McGruff songs. There's chords everywhere. Like what you hear?

Tell your friend about it. They'd want to hear a two-hour long podcast about a 35-year-old album that almost no one has ever heard. Five dollars a month for this content. A hell of a deal. And much cheaper than drugs. My voice is starting to go with it let's bail let's get the hell out of here treat your vocal cords right thanks for listening using crack and cocaine to get high that's what you say you know.

But it's really insane. You could die. What are you thinking of? Cause nobody's needing that crack and cocaine. There's terrible trouble behind it And sooner or later

you'll burn in your brain Making a mess of your mind Forever Dog This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner,

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