Podcast: The Ride - New Hampshire Theme Parks with Mookie Blaiklock

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

Mookie Blaiklock (You Are Worthy, Don't Trust The B-- in Apartment 23) joins us to discuss a mix of quaint and weird parks in New Hampshire. Featuring Canobie Lake Park, Santa's Village, Clark's Bears and more! Scott's Disney World & SeaWorld Summer Spectacular episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! disturbing journey through the weird, wild theme parks of New Hampshire on Podcast The Ride, a podcast hosted by guys who love theme parks, but today we'll determine if we also love weird facilities where bears play basketball. I'm Scott Gairdner and I'm joined by, let's go Jason Sheridan this time. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm of two minds about like animal shows you know i i i feel like i've mostly seen bird shows i don't know if i've seen a lot of bear shows i'm personally i've never seen a bear show we're gonna talk about a bear show mike carlson um yeah uh i'm of two minds i both like and love a bear show so yeah we will we'll discuss it obviously more as we go along but

both like and look see i see you cover that's the two sides of my head and as far as this show is concerned yeah um listen everybody today uh here's a phrase i didn't think i would say on the podcast probably today we are talking about the theme parks of new hampshire i don't think this was ever on the board i don't think this was like they're gonna come up from us but a guest has brought this to us and i'm very excited about because i love when we can explore an area we know nothing about there's so much odd stuff that we figured out uh due to due to our guest uh uh he is uh he's the host of the podcast you are worthy with little mookie b he's one of the funniest guys around mo Mookie Blakelock is here. Hi, Mookie. Hi, guys. Hello.

Hi. Thanks for having me. Of course. So happy to have you. Thank you. And yes, this is, look, it's all I could come up with. I love it. I'm building it up. Yeah, I got excited about it now.

No, it sucks. No, it's stupid. We can change it. We can just kill this and do it later. We'll just make a new one. No, it's dumb. It's stupid. Do you want to do the Cars ride?

We'll talk about the Cars ride. Nobody likes me. I guess I'm just a dumb idiot. No, don't say that. I guess I'm just a fucking loser. I don't like you. This is spinning out faster than any episode ever. We've never had a spin out. This is like a spin out on Lightning McQueen's track

on the Cars land ride. Clearly we should be talking about and i know that but that's not what we're talking look we're here i'm very excited about yeah and jason i think jason i think you were psyched about the uh about what we've found you were saying you've got a ton of tabs you're you're uh overflowing with tabs i i yeah i think it was starting to uh slow down my computer earlier, and then I lost them all because I had to restart, but I got most of them back.

I have a book. I was wondering how to start. Well, I was wondering how to start researching this episode, which I think we should go the other way. I think we should declare, like, a 50 state, you know, we should do the Sufjan and go like every state's theme parks. But as I was starting to research this, I was like, what park should I start with? And then I happened by a little free library that had the amusement park guide,

a book published in 1990. Whoa. It's so retro looking. The two of the parks I'm sure we're going to talk about today. New Hampshire has two entries in this. It is a state-by-state guide, and New Hampshire has two parks listed. And were two of them the ones that I had brought to you? Canobie Lake Park?

Yep. Storyland? Which I believe is part of Santa's Village, yes. No, maybe not. Maybe not Storyland. They are separate storyland i believe is the one uh one of them is run by the people who run kennywood in pennsylvania they also run storyland feels like the vibe there's some kennywood vibes yeah i would say yeah yeah

but all the parks i read about were very like charming a lot of natural beauty a lot in wooded areas and and you don't get that uh every place you build a theme park you know no true not at all what's your uh um boogie like what well i guess i have a couple new hampshire question one i don't think i know like um the like the vibe of it in general i don't know what are the like what are the stereotypes or like what you might regard as like what is like particularly new hampshire-y uh what can you tell us in that on that front well it's interesting because i feel like i kind of have a a little bit of an outsider perspective of new hampshire as well i grew up in massachusetts oh gosh okay and so we would so my family it's just i'm an only child so it's just me

and my mom and my dad and we would go up to New Hampshire every year for a week to the same campground every year McBrook campground in Lisbon New Hampshire and we would go to one of these places every year but um it's the only place we literally ever went on vacation we literally never went on vacation to another place we didn't go we didn't like when i was four years old we got on a plane and went to florida and went to disney world which i have no recollection of but other than that like my my family is very like we like things the way we like them and so we went to the same place and so like i haven't even explored new hampshire that much but like new hampshire and vermont i feel like are kind of like the same vibe i mean they're right next to each other but it's like it's woodsy it's like cabiny there's lakes it's

like a lot of um it's like it's very new englandy it's like there's lots of like lots of things are made of wood and there's like a lot of brick walkways and cobblestone and stuff like that. You know what I mean? Like it's very New England. There's lighthouses and like actually I don't think New Hampshire is on the coast. I think Vermont is. I could be wrong about that. This is how little I fucking know about anything. I can't even I can't even tell you like where towns in

massachusetts are because like i was so i never went far from my town or whatever but like geographically but yeah new hampshire is like like like woodsy new england like brick and stone and wood and um like you know cozy is it cozy it's cozy it's like fireplaces and little shops like dads with their shirts tucked into their shorts wooden sandals walking around you know uh getting ice cream on like a farm that has cows on it or whatever you know it's that's that that that's what i that's my best description of like the new hampshire vibe and then it's like if you keep going up new england north to like like north north to like maine maine is like even more of that but it's like even almost a little more like backwoodsy and like everybody has a fucking tractor and um you know like you catch lobsters

off of the off of the, the dock. What's the word I'm looking for? The dock or the, yeah, the pier. What's the, the Harbor, the Harbor Harbor.

Okay. And like, everyone has a boat and like, you know, that's like Maine is like where, you know, that's where people are like, you know,

Oh, up here in Maine, you know, that's the, no, I, we was walking down the beach or whatever and so that's the like that's like new england new england that's like the almost like maine is

almost like no man's land and then it's like you go down south new england and it's like massachusetts and connecticut and rhode island which is just a totally different vibe but still kind of like you know seaside town or whatever but like as you go up uh like like like rhode island cape cod new england is like seaside like lighthouses and then you keep going up to like new hampshire vermont and it starts getting like a little quieter and a little greener is there is there an accent is there a new hampshire like what is it a dialed back it's like it's the new england accent it's like it's like a it's like a it's a boston accent it's a boston accent okay a little hampshire little oh sure sure sure okay yeah yeah yeah um did you like the one place that you went on vacation or did you get tired of the one place you went on

vacation i don't know somewhere in between well it's like so we went to so it was like one week a year we went to this place minkbrook campground in lisbon new hampshire it's some place that like an old friend of like my dad's like took him to once and he fell in love with it and it's like this very very quiet campground in the middle of kind of nowhere new hampshire it was like it's like a couple hours like from the Massachusetts-New Hampshire border. And we stayed at the same campsite every year. My dad would book it a year in advance because he wanted the same site. And it was very quiet and it's very woodsy.

And there's a brook that runs through it, the Mink Brook. So that's why it's called Mink Brook Campground. There's a brook that runs through it. We had a campsite that was on the brook and like if you go to the front of the campground it was like they had a pool and then they had a little shop with like the office and like you could you know a little shop you could buy like candy and like baseball cards and shit and then they had a little their cool part about it is they had this big airstream trailer that they turned into an arcade and so there were like

video games inside of it like arcade games which was just like i would spend all my time there because it was just me and my parents i was an only child and my parents were there to get away from the hustle and bustle of our lives and like read books so they would be reading books we had like the pop-up trailer and shit where you tow it behind my dad's jeep and then like you know like the sides come up and expand and you know you like crank up the thing and you pull the awning out and it had two beds and like a little shower in it and stuff and then my dad had like you know a gas stove and we like we he like really did it up it was kind of like early glamping but you know my parents like would put out like their

shit they're like foldable chaise lounges and read a book and i would be like throw a frisbee with me walk to the store with me and they would be like go do that by yourself and so i would ride my bike around like by myself i would go down to the store and they would give me money and i would and they would be like don't buy candy with it and i would buy candy with it and i would go find a place to hide and eat it and it was just like and then every now and then my dad would be like all right let's throw a frisbee back and forth or like we will go down to the pool together as a family or whatever or if there were other kids at other campsites he would be like go make friends with that kid even though i had like

crippling anxiety social anxiety and like did not want to go talk to kids that i didn't know that's a vacation nightmare like never do i want to i've never anything did anything good come from me trying to make friends on a trip i don't understand like and you walk into scenes where like you guys don't know each other before how did this happen i can't make friends on trips the only time that ever worked for me was on a cruise ship and there was like kids hours by age group and we were kind of forced into it it's like we don't want you just wandering a cruise ship all day and then looking back i'm like well i was 12 why not why couldn't i what you let me wander half the time anyway why did i have to do little skits and like activities and stuff you did skits with 12 with strangers oh yeah and like crafts there

was crafts and like pool hour and stuff and it was like here uh staff occupy the children so your parents can drink at the pool before dinner time, you know? So your parents can do the on-ship casino. Wow. I'm killing, that's it. It was fun. I mean, it was fun, but I never, like, when we went to Disney, or even if we

went to, like, the mountains, like, never again did I really have that experience. Yeah, no, i didn't make friends with anyone on vacation yeah never happened it sucks what what what a like i i guess maybe as an adult and you know we've all got our little boomer parents but just like just like go go go up to that kid and make friends with them literally just like go walk up to that campsite right now and say hi my name is michael blake lock and can i please play with your daughter or whatever and i'm like are you

fucking kidding me that is a nightmare i don't want to talk to that kid i'm too i'm literally scared of that person like i don't want to talk to people i don't know yeah and it's kids so they might say get out of here idiot like it might be like it won't happen if you like feel like i want to try to like talk to this girl or tell you these people at a bar it might probably won't happen as an adult but like get the hell out of my face could happen with a child yeah and or or like i go up to it's just like hi can i play or and then it, Oh, so you're just our responsibility now. I'm just walking. Can I play cards with you guys or whatever? Just like my parents don't want to do it.

So like, I'm not now I'm your problem. And all of these parks, the, the new England kind of parks. It seems if you look on their websites, like places to stay, they're sending you their websites like places to stay they're sending you to either a campground or they're sending you to uh like a motel essentially and because

it's very rusty i usually like if you look up six flags places to stay in the area it'll have a link to like all right there's a courtyard marriott there's a hilton garden in less the case seemingly in new england it's a lot of still little motor lodges yeah it's it's all especially like in that area of new hampshire it's like it's very like you start getting into like like the wilderness where it's like there's you're gonna have to like if you're at this camp ground you're gonna have to drive 25 minutes to get to something to do right right which is the thing which you know speaking of what we're speaking of but like that would be the thing so like we would go up there for a week every summer and then one day of the week we would like take a day trip out to like one of these places oh that's the the trip

is to the one place but this is the all right i guess we should do something so you go to one of these it is just like we cannot be here every single day so we would go into like or it would be like a couple days so it would be like you know one day we would go into like littleton new hampshire which was like a couple towns over and they had like a little town square with like a couple days so it would be like you know one day we would go into like littleton new hampshire which was like a couple towns over and they had like a little town square with like a bookstore and we would go to the bookstore and like they would they would be like we will buy you a book and you can read a book from this place or or we would go to santa's village or we would go to clark string bears canopy lake park was not a vacation thing for me that was just another new hampshire like that's the big new hampshire like like independent like little

amusement park that i had been to many times but that's separate from these vacations that i took with my but if we took a day trip we would either go and it was and it was we went there for years and we would go to every year it was last year we went to clark's trading post and this year we'll go to santa's village and next year we will go to clark's and then the next year we will go to santa's village and then next year we'll go to clark's and then it got to a point where like you know when i was like maybe 12 or 13 or 14 for like a couple of years they were like you can bring a friend so you have somebody they were like this kid is going fucking stir crazy you can bring one of your friends and then when i was like 15 they were like you can stay home alone while we go out and i was that fucking ruled yeah that's great but yeah those were those were my day those were my experiences with those smaller places where it

was just like we would go to those two places every year so then do you like did you uh like them or where is it was it like well it's a place there's there's distractions there's signs i can point at and that will fill time i mean i think it was like stockholm syndrome where it's like well i have to like it because i don't have a choice you know what i mean it's not like i hate going here i'm like i think that my dad tells me every year that i like this and so i believe it because like i'm i'm your hostage i'm your like your lifelong hostage that's yeah there's a there is a point there's points i think it happens a lot when you're a kid and either like you finally realize you can have like an opinion

or you can have a choice about something like when i was a kid and i was playing soccer a few years in a row and i didn't realize i hated soccer until my mom said, you know, you don't have to play it. Because like she got the sense that I was not maybe that into soccer because I'd run away from the ball and only cared about getting a hot dog after the game. And then she presented that to me. And I remember going, oh, I don't want to play soccer anymore.

But up until that point, I felt, oh, I'll be playing soccer for my whole life. There up until that point i felt oh i'll be playing soccer for my whole life there'll be never a time when i won't be playing soccer yeah that's just who i am it's just yeah i i was told that this is what i'm doing and there's no part of me that goes like well mother and father are certainly not wrong they're always right in fact they know they happen to know everything and I actually know nothing. Yeah, I stuck around in Boy Scouts and baseball for probably a year or two too long because I was like, oh, well, I don't want to upset anyone by not doing this. And then once I started doing school plays, I was like, well, I found this and I like this more. So I think I'm just going to gravitate towards this.

Sure. this more so i think i'm just gonna gravitate towards this sure we're uh mookie when you were going on the trip were you like at least you think like okay that candy store is good and the arcade is good because that's obviously that would have appealed to me and i would be like oh yeah it's the you know old-time confectionery with a bunch of taffy or something i'm just imagining what it is yeah i mean no i mean literally it was like a little it was like a tiny like like the size of like my bedroom like um like just it like corner store it was it was literally like it was like the front desk to the campground so it's like when you cut when you pull in and you're checking in you go in this little shop and then there's the lady who owns the

place behind the desk and you go hi we're in site number where the blake locks and we're in site number 36 or whatever and then they go great welcome and then you know it happens to just be a little general store where it's like they got a little freezer with like ice cream sandwiches in it and stuff and like you know you can get like candy bars and candy and like fruit pies and shit like that. But it's like, it's like the office slash front desk slash little general store where like you can go,

it's like where you would go and like outside you could buy like fire, like bundles of firewood or like, you know, they had like, it was almost like a little market where it's like, you can get marshmallows and Hershey bars and graham crackers to like, go make s'mores at your campsite kind of thing. Gotcha.

I'll be honest. I said it before. It sounds cozy. The whole thing sounds very cozy. It's cozy. It's cozy. But I can see how you might bristle just doing these things over and over again, especially because Santa's Village and like Storyland fall into the category of this is

an amusement park catering to 12 and under maybe 13 and under so as you're hitting adolescence the this stuff hits less and less my family i feel like my family got so into theme parks that we we tapered off from like storybook land or uh dutch wonderland kind of parks kind of quickly right and i mean like i i understand i understand this more now as like an adult like approaching 40 but like you know like i got what was appealing to my parents it was just like it's a quiet relaxing place that has a babbling brook running through it and i get to escape the hustle and the bustle of uh ashland massachusetts and and like go and like i get to like read books and be in nature and stuff like that and it's like

yeah i i might like that now right but just like as you're like, I mean, it's fun to just be like, we're getting in the car and we're going someplace different. And like, it is fun. And like, we're, we're like sleeping in a tent or whatever. And it's cool. But it's also just like, I mean, as a kid for most of it, it's just like, I have like child energy and I'm just like, I have nobody to fucking play with or do anything. And it's like, I want to fucking play with or do anything and it's like i want to do way more than they want to do and it was always just them just being like can we please just sit here and read a read the new uh janet ivanovich

look it you don't understand mookie it's two for the show. We read One for the Money last summer. Two for the dough. Two for the dough. Excuse me. Three to get deadly. Four to score. High five. Stephanie Plum is back, and I'm the last person in my office to read about her adventures.

Those books are so funny that there's like 23 of them or whatever, and the names just start being like like it's 12 yeah what do you do after there's no puns 13 dream any numbers north of 19 yeah they had three good ones they had one for the money two for the dough three to get deadly uh one score one for the money of course made into a movie starring katherine heigl that's right it's glued into my mind uh as the only movie i've ever seen sold tickets tickets sold on groupon for a movie oh my god yeah it was a it was box office baffle my my parents were like that was one of the worst movies who's ever seen and we love those stephanie plum books like yeah it's such a disappointment sucker because they like the

oh my god group rates like how they did like what they did with like passion of the christ get your group together oh no no groupon like get a six dollar ticket yeah yeah boy that's crazy um you know what i i went to i have a new hampshire memory too which is similar to this is the high end of this is the the the like oh this is the the like annoying fancy version of the the boring place do you know what the what the balsams is does that sound familiar do you know about dixville notch new hampshire the dicksville notch is the town where only like seven people live there and they get well early and vote first thing so that they can be the first place where the election results come in in the new hand well and they you mean in

the primary because the new hampshire primary is the big one and you just mean the election that that's like as a collective group they're like we're getting up early so we can have this claim to fame is the new hampshire primary the first primary yes yes it's before the iowa caucus then that must be the thing like they cast their president vote first of all is it's the first state and the first town they all know each other so they wake up and uh it's the most odd, mundane little... But there's a really nice resort near there where you get to learn about this tradition and how it's been going for hundreds of years.

And I was watching videos about the place, and it flashed me right back to, like, yes, it's pretty. It's so pretty. There was nothing I wanted less as a kid than pretty pretty so pretty was absolutely boring and and now in retrospect i feel like my parents probably took me to some like jaw-dropping places where i was like no but it's not i would like absolutely rather be playing mario kart than any any one of these places yeah just leave me at home with a bunch of sunny delights or something you

just the beauty of muumuu farms is better than anything that's in new hampshire that's right yeah they all have like egyptian levels like the deserts the all the winds you see there that's one of the wonders of the world hey i relate to that um i think also that was a hotel that i really specifically this is how fancy and traditional the hotel was is that they um i think also that was a hotel that i really specifically this is how fancy and traditional the hotel was is that they um i remember getting this is very important to me because it was the season premiere of the simpsons when we got there you can't miss the sea these will never be able to be seen again no one's tracking the simpsons if i don't see it now i'll never see it mom dad drop i don't go fancy dinner or whatever your plan i do not want to do it i

want to watch the simpsons no matter what and then and then i am told no no no this is a traditional resort there are not televisions in the room i'm sorry what are you talking this the whole summer is ruined wait but that's okay there is a television room we did at some point recognize that these ghost children wanted to see tv and they opened a tv and now i'm like wait a minute i as a 13 year old have to convince the room to put on this show or else i will miss the show and thankfully there was enough group think that we wanted to watch it and then it was mike the one we were just talking about was it the wait the one we agreed was the yes Edison and then like so after

all that then it's the episode that lets you know that the show is no longer good absolutely awful memory all of this all this I have to go to the TV room and I have to I think I had to wear a coat you have to wear a coat to sit in a room and watch like a fancy restaurant

yes yes a coat for a child you have to wear a coat to sit in a room and watch like a fancy restaurant yes yes a coat for a child i had to wear a little coat for the tv yes my parents loved this we came back from this trip i remember like my sister and i still talk about it that my mom like a threat in the car as we were leaving the place said from now on when we get home wednesdays will be fancy wednesdays we will all dress up and we will eat dinner as a family and we will look nice and i was like for noah for us only i have to wear his coat while we eat like fish sticks what are you talking about i love when like suburban parents like get outside of their bubble and see something and then they go okay we are doing this now this

is we are now making a change and this is this is the rule of the this is the law of the land from now on do you understand and then it lasts for like you know a couple of weeks or so many yeah stupid i there will be like a which is what like making we're gonna make our own pasta now we i'm not buying it out of the bags anymore we'll do it together and you will cut the shapes and i will put them into the grinder and then it's so bad the first time you try we had like allowance like chore allowance we're like we're doing this now you're not just gonna get money when you beg for something here's what you do that's we'll reward you 25 cents per you make your bed you clean you okay that's how we're doing it three weeks later out the window it's just the begging system for whatever you want it is back in play it's gone it's over black and

white all or nothing just like there's no like um patience or like examination of like you know there's stuff in our family that maybe isn't working or i don't like the attitude of my kids or something and then you see one other idiot be like my family does it this way and you're like we're doing it this way and you don't have a say in it and we're doing it and if we don't do it you're in you're in trouble and then they're the ones that give up on it and then like a month later when you're back to the way that you know business as usual in your family you're just like do you want me to go um my family's was like i said i'm they think they thought i said i was bored too much i was always like i'm bored and so my we we took a bunch of piece little slips of

paper and wrote like a things to do like do a puzzle like read a book like take a walk and if i ever said i'm bored we would put them in a drawer and i would open the drawer and pick one out and be like okay do a puzzle and now like we do you know that's like the shit we would do if i was bored and it was just like so like walking over to that fucking drawer my mom being like let's go over to the drawer and pick something to do if you're bored and then pick out something where it's like you know it's like build a castle of of blocks and it's like oh this fucking sucks and then and of course after a while it was just like i'm bored and they were like well i don't know what to tell you yeah i i'm bored is not like i think kids just say that as like a response you know it's it's like a little verbal tick

and it's like yeah well you i you're probably not really bored you probably just need like the equivalent of jangling keys in front of your face but you're seven you're that not really bored you probably just need like the equivalent of jangling keys in front of your face but you're seven I can't jangle keys so and you didn't fucking give me a brother or a sister to play with so like me a child has to fill 24 hours

of the fucking day yeah that's true I gotta figure it out that's a lot you really advanced my mental arguments for should i have a another child this has been this has pushed me a long way it's your life it's your family it's your whatever but just let you know do you really want your kid to turn out like me scott well scott i have one brother and do you want him to turn out like me? So these are your options.

I'm looking down two different river paths. I don't know which, that's right. I just crashed down the middle as we're saying all this. So I'm realizing like, Oh yeah, that, you know, my family did little bits of this,

but it's like, well, it's kind of chill looking back in some ways. Cause I'm realizing like, well, my mom was the youngest of five and my dad's the youngest of four. So think maybe at some point they're like all right well let's uh let's keep a quieter house like let's not let's uh we don't have to do this insanity like our parents did these are numbers of siblings that are impossible like they are you could maybe get your head around mill all right maybe i could have a

kid and not go bankrupt but five like do are we going to know anyone our age with five children unless it's a an accident well and also if i when i've asked what did my grandparents do it's always like well he did a little of this and a little of that like it's never like oh is that this job for 30 years or that sort of thing for our parents i mean my dad worked for a long time but like yeah my grand i feel like my uh grandparents were retired by the time i knew them but but they jumped around to other jobs a lot um we should get to these parks or we're sure whether we have the least well theme park content but it's all applicable we got we're in the vibe now we're so we're in the vibe we're in the new yeah i was told this is a loose structure oh yes no no that is correct

i'm just making sure we do it that's what i was told that's what i was told there's no there's no itinerary there's no every five minutes uh this happens um let's just start let's let's start tossing them out can't it be like park this seems like the biggest of the one this is like the most like major yeah theme park of all this so this was not this was a separate trip this was not in the regular rotation yes this was not in the and i'm not even remembering where it is i think it's a little closer like to like national new hampshire which is like a little closer to the like massachusetts new hampshire border um but can it be like park was like the like um i don't know how to describe it but just like you know the independent like small local like theme park but like with legitimate like roller coasters

and stuff yeah family owned seemingly which is sort of rare it was like the place where you went like on a school trip or on a camp trip or like you know your friend is like we're going to canopy lake park if you want to come with us and uh that was like you know it was like an hour and a half away or something like that you know what i mean and that that was the like that was like a full like theme park with like rides and roller coasters and um you know like fried dough yeah 30 miles outside of boston so pretty close serves that area originated as a trolley park and this was like where trolley 02 or something yes that's right and and so where trolleys would terminate uh kennywood i mentioned in pittsburgh also a trolley park dorney park and wild water kingdom and allentown pennsylvania also a trolley park when i was looking at the wikipedia and i saw the phrase trolley park i'm

like there's no way jason will not say this for that phrase is like jason bait it's like a little crate was put up above a sign that said trolley park. That's right. There used to be quite a few trolley parks in America, but as the automobile rose in prominence, the trolley lines closed and a lot of the parks went away or they evolved into

amusement parks. But there are still 13 left that started as trolley parks. Thank God. Yes. Thank God. How are the trolleys doing? Do those work? Oh, no. They're long dead. They all burn up,

but the parks are fine. You can still hear the sound that a trolley makes. The ghost of a trolley. The clang of the rail. Do they have a horn if anyone knows what trolleys do it's Jason

they go clang clang clang as we learned in meet me in St. Louis that's right that's right this seems like you're this is like a Kennywood feel to this a little you you'd probably dig this place I'd imagine yeah i mean

it's the it it it's right up my alley it reminds me a lot of kenoble's park in pennsylvania another older park um it's got a few roller coasters it's got a dark ride um they do a halloween event and it also is the uh was the inspiration for a stephen king novel called joyland one of the newer stephen king novels uh that's unsettling though yeah that seems scary yeah um what was the like did i i um i don't know what like what he was the one who went here like like did you have fun when you when you went here muki yeah i mean, my, my, my fondest memory is that, um, it was the first time I went on an upside down roller coaster. So they had the cork, the corkscrew is like their big fun upside down roller coaster.

So it's not like a full loop roller coaster. It's like a, you go up and you do a little twist, you know what I mean? Kind of thing. Um, and I remember going with my dad and like him being like you're gonna love it and me being like a scared little boy and being like no it's scary and he's like let's just get in line let's do it he convinced me to do it and it was like one of those where like we did it and i was like that was the most fun thing i've ever done and we got back in line and we went on it like three more times it was like my first upside down roller coaster

experience it was it was a fond memory oh that's great there's that there's the corkscrew and then they have like the really old i think it's like the oldest or like one of the oldest they have the um the yankee cannonball which is like their old wooden roller coaster like the like the standard wooden roller coaster um which was name rickety and fun and then like the only other thing i can remember there was like they have one of those like what's the fucking it's like the gravitron like it just spins really fast and then they drop the floor out from under you like they have one of those oh it's i mean that's why i always call it a gravitron yeah like a tilt-a-whirl or not a tilt-a-whirl but just like you know you get sucked up against the side of the thing, but those were like the big rides there. Oh. And they had a big, um,

they had this really cool one where it's like, you know, one that just spins and it's like, you're, you're like sitting in a thing that's hanging from hanging from like wires and you just basically just get like flung around or whatever. It's a bunch of little things that you sit on. They were like shaped like roosters and you sit in them and they're, you're hanging from a wire and it things that you sit on they were like shaped like roosters and you sit in them and they're you're hanging from a wire and it spins and you're just like going around the thing maybe that's more like tilt-a-whirl or whatever no maybe it's not well

the tilt-a-whirl is like yeah that like half kind of i don't know how you'd even describe it like it's like sort of circular back and then there's a little seat and then it spins as the whole thing spins as well it's literally just like you're just getting swung around by a wire but you're sitting in a thing anyways a little chair it's like a little chair like a little swing kind of thing almost was like a little like um i'm trying to find they were these big roosters and they could fit two people so it's like you're almost sitting in like a little like um i don't fucking know like a little spinner ride car yeah like you're just sitting in a thing you're like sitting in a thing. You're like sitting in a little. Is it like.

Hold on. I'll show you a photo here. Is it like this one? Here. Is it like this thing right here? Yes. Yeah. But there were less.

There were less things. And the things were bigger. The things could fit like two people in them. And there was probably like 10 of them in the whole thing. And then you would just. It would just get swung around. Gotcha. Sure.

If we were a different kind of theme park podcast, this would only be all we know the names of the things, and we say all of the names, and we say the manufacturers, and there are no jokes. If you want that podcast, it exists, and the audio is way worse than ours, so you might want to stay with us.

Yankee Cannonball was made by the Philadelphia Toboggan Company, who has made quite a few rides in the last hundred years. Jason's got your cover. Your son's got all the information. I think the question you asked me was, what are my memories of that? And my memories are, I wish I had more of them. I think my whole childhood was just like fear and anxiety and so

like i don't retain a lot of memories but i remember going with a friend of mine my friend bear klaus his name was robert klaus but we called him bear and um we would go and we would like it would be like this whole like um fantasy like we like for some reason i always we like me and my friends always had these fantasies of like we're characters on a tv show and like so like we're like when we get in the park we're like these characters and so we're like we're like these two guys who like are on some adventure and we're in a movie and like uh you know the roosters are like we have a big pet rooster and we fly on it or whatever and like i don't know that's like that's my you were having like one fantasy it wasn't just like we're going to the park it's like we are

we're turning this experience into like this is a fantasy of like we are these two cool guys and um this is an adventure that we're on and each of the rides is like part of our adventure or whatever so that's like my it was like muppet babies yeah yeah yeah like you would have just like kind of a fantastical fantasy journey i guess exactly they were in the nursery so they weren't even in a cool place like a theme park but they're in you're in a cool place imagining it's a cooler place or that you're cooler people. Yes, that would be it. Yes. That I that I would I would die if I had to just be myself.

So is that why you take on personas and play characters? Is that like? Yeah, I know. You know, I think the coolest thing about acting and performing is that you get to be whoever you want to be you know what i mean you could be the queen of england i think something cut out there you became some wait the mookies cutting out there's these other people showing up and say who else got the zoom link well so far so the queen of england and uh and a bum on the street and a bum on the street i think both from the same part of england state

assistant football coach jerry sandusky okay anybody wait wait a minute maybe you shouldn't be anybody black out you know you can be anyone in your wildest fantasies um do you i don't know maybe i'm getting ahead of myself here but do you remember the characters at the park oh god this is like going to be too embarrassing i think it was like we were whatever it was it was like we were supposed to be two guys who are very cool and like we're starring in our own TV show. And it's about the two of us being like, like, like two adventurers or something where it's like, like,

I feel like there was like a fantasy element to it where it was like, there were people chasing us and we had to like, get away from them and fight them. So it's like, you know, we're on the rooster thing going around and the, the people in the rooster thing behind us are chasing us with their own rooster or like,

you know, like the, the, the, like the corkscrew rollercoaster is like us, like on some like train track, like getting away from the people that are chasing us or something like that. Again,

that's like to the best of my memory. That's, it was something like that. Again that's like to the best of my memory. It was something like that. Because we would play these characters. Not at the theme park too. It would be like when we were just hanging out. But the theme park was like. The theme park was like. You know what it's like.

Like the special episode of Family Matters. Where they shoot it at Disney World. Or whatever it's like that. Where it's like the special on location episode. Of the the fantasy tv show that we are in at canopy lake park where normally when we're playing at one of our houses we're just two guys that have that have that shoot guns and play with swords or whatever but but when we're at canopy lake park it's like now we have flying roosters and um like uh total world tracks that like pull us into other dimensions or whatever we had we had we had we had wonderful

imaginations i admire that you found someone who would commit to this with you because i feel like i would have flights of fancy like this as a child and i would never in a million years utter them out like i would be like this i cannot vocalize this where i will be put in a straitjacket like they will wheel me away i probably had something where i like for some reason because i felt embarrassed about every fucking breath that i took as a child where i was just like i don't know maybe there was no filter on this one or like this friend in particular was just like i do that stupid dorky shit too idiot yeah that's awesome i love that you had like a like a long narrative it was like a like a long serialized pro tv show or something yeah yeah that's like only child stuff

to me where it's just like i'm alone with my imagination 24 7 so if any if if anybody wants to like do this with me like please you're welcome sure yeah thanks a lot of psyche a major service i know i'm just like i've got all these i've got all these it's kind of how i feel now it's like I have all these incredible creative thoughts in my head and I just need to get them out. Yeah, of course. And if we were a different kind of podcast. Right. We would spend the next half an hour or so

exploring those kind of things, but we don't have time. We don't have time. We have to say facts. We have to say when things opened. You know, there's characters in the... You don't have to there's there's characters in the uh you don't have to just invent your own characters in the park you can meet some characters they're not tied to disney or or warner brothers or any of those things they had to make up their own things uh so so you know they have a set of characters i feel like jason maybe you have more about the

about you have the list jason i have pictures but i didn't really find names there's a video where some of them have there's like a video where they go through character boot camp did you find that i saw that park yeah like like it was just a little promotional video they do youtube content they're cannabis content makers too yeah they they also probably have to i bet that place has changed a lot since the last time i was there i mean the last time i was there was probably like at least 20 years ago oh gotcha yeah so they have a youtube channel that's one thing that happened wouldn't have been possible then i didn't do any research kind of a poorly labeled youtube channel too uh i mean this guy i came across this guy a

lot with the button nose well that's he's patches we know patches okay mike and i both we always says it on his stomach yeah yeah it's just funny how much we both want patches patches patches and he's a teddy bear nobody said i got was for teddy bear yeah that's the that's the uh leonardo dicaprio once upon a time in hollywood meme when he's pointing at the uh patches patches when you use that feeling when you see patches that's the meat we'll tweet that you're giving us content thank you you got it guys hey look at that motherfucker this guy's great hey i like him is that i think his name might be daapper the Dog. Yeah, I think that's right. Dapper the Dog. Sometimes you can find them because if you look on their Instagram,

they hashtag it with the name Dapper Dog. There's Molly Mouse. Am I wrong about that? I think I'm right. I think that's right. I recall none of these mascots, so I don't know if they were a more recent

addition to it or i just wasn't paying attention they might be new i was trying to get little kids stuff too yeah yeah that's kid stuff that's stupid maybe they don't want to hang out with simon the slug maybe they didn't fit in the narrative you would have been constructed and then you just sort of ignored them because they weren't the other way you're like that's not part of the world anthropomorphic animals yeah no no no yeah i'm like well look we're on we have a structure here we're in act two and you're not gonna fuck this up we can't change the reality of the story now by bringing more of a two-hander yeah we don't have time to visit castaway island we can't weave that into the narrative oh i love this guy that's a cool parrot yeah they have a very like

compact but pretty pretty thorough water park that has a i i think i saw it called a tidal tidal river it's like a combination wave pool lazy river which i have never encountered that before huh so it's sending waves along while you're going it's like giving you a little that's cool a tidal river yeah oh i'm into that um another neat thing is that uh there were a bunch of it was all family that wanted to bring their hunting knives into the park and the park didn't want them to have hunting knives so the security said they couldn't and then they got in a fight with the security and kicked the security guard in the head and then I think they the whole family went to jail we were hunting patches

rip him up tear his fluff out I have two quick things here from Instagram I'd like to bring up please yes this is from a couple years ago this is a performance by a band called arrow myth the tribute band to aerosmith arrow myth and you can see this man kind of looks like steven tyler if he does and this kind of

looks like guitarist brad bradley whitford not the actor did you know that did you know that my dad you didn't know this i don't know what you're about to say my dad when my dad was like 19 years old in uh in massachusetts was in a band with brad whitford from wow my dad was the bass player in a band they They were called Sounds of the Poets. Oh, wow. That is huge. There's a lot of Aerosmith discourse on this podcast. And that's amazing. Aerosmith comes up all the damn time. But this is a useful piece of Aerosmith info.

I love it. Well, so he kind of helped form the sound in a way. Yeah, yeah. He was sort of in the thoroughly. As my dad says it, I don't know if this is true, but that he left my dad's band to join aerosmith wow that's crazy he's like i'm playing with these other guys who are more talented than you andy blakelock oh man did he does he did he still ever stay in contact with him he i like coincidentally this is the only thing that i i went to there was a kid who was in my kindergarten class who was his nephew and i remember my dad asked his mom one time who was his sister like hey ask your brother

brad if he remembers andy blakelock and the conclusion was like he said he did okay something that was the only yeah that was the only and then years later my dad worked for a company called california closets that would uh organize that would like um uh design uh like organization for people's closets and uh i okay i got very excited because i worked for the container store and we had alpha shelving and i planned closets for people and California closets was always the thing we'd say, well, that's too expensive. They come to your house. You don't need to do that.

You come in store. Yeah. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah. I'm mad at you now. Don't talk about my dad like that. But he worked for California closets and they were expensive closets and he would be going

to like all these crazy expensive houses and he, they were expensive closets and he would be going to like all these crazy expensive houses. And he did Joe Perry's closets. Wow. Really? Yeah. Wow. Wow.

That's a long book. And Joe Perry and was like, he was like, I went there for a consultation and I was talking to like his assistant and it was like eight in the morning. And like at a certain point, like Joe Perry in like a satin robe, like stumbled out with like a cup of coffee and was like are you doing my closets and then i was like did you ask him

did you tell him that you used to be in a band with brad whitford and he was like no i was at work very professional yeah it's closet time i'm at work yeah man that's great and i've i have yet to have that's so crazy california closet we would hear that all the time as our like they were our enemy when i worked at the container store that that makes total sense because it's like truly it was just my dad would just be like you won't believe the fucking houses i'm going to to design closets it was like all for rich people yes so yeah we were we were it was still very expensive to put in the alpha shelving that i was designing for people i think but it was not nearly as bad as uh the california closet price wow this is truly a sign of the way musicians like former working man musicians like joe perry

can lose their way and lose sight of what the what the common man wants. What's wrong with the closet you have, you fucking... You made your first album in a closet. You didn't need a reorganization. Good point. They lost touch. But Arrow Myth keeps the spirit alive. Sorry for the tangent. No, I love the tangent. That's crucial info. Multiple

great pieces there. The first commenter on this is abby elliott is that that abby elliott it's the impersonator from target i don't think it is we don't have to we don't have to i just was kidding let's look at all of her photos and describe them the real abby elliott was commenting on arrow myths uh instagram that would have been a very small world yeah a little too small too perfect so so real quick let me just i'm going to show you a picture of a recently redesigned color scheme for the tilta world at this park and you tell me what this looks like okay real quick

uh here we go oh boy okay so it's a booth it's a little like shell and it's got stars that are reminiscent of the american flag but then also a big blue line okay oh man oh no okay i'm not crazy right no no i saw it right away okay good i don't is that what they're intending i don't know maybe but it's the line it's just like the cushion that's cushioning you from banging around in the tilt award that was the color before but it's also a full blue i'm not seeing any red anywhere there's no red and i don't know if that's an accident i think this is a blue lives matter tilt world is what i'm saying and i've never seen that before uh so that's where you could at least at this at september 21st 2020 that's what the kenobi park had going did they redesign

it like early last summer like when uh within the last four years yeah i i went through the comments to see if anyone like noticed it and i don't think they did yeah i there's so much somebody went hey did you change the colors on this one so somebody just maybe innocently enough innocently enough was like what what happened this is different i don't like them better i don't know what it is i like about this but i like the new colors that you did i'm gonna ride this tilt-a-whirl and yell and yell yeah this is yeah get pumped up and see what else i can do with that energy fox and friends should broadcast from this tilt-a-whirl every morning steve ducey should ride the tilt-a-whirl that group now is always just twirling camera why don't you just do what the officer says aren't they to blame in a way

to lock the camera officer says then nothing bad will happen to you i think they just don't know about it that's why there's been no broadcast from here i would like to if this podcast caused them to like you know put a purple cushion in there instead yeah i i think that's yeah i don't i think that's just a stock head cushion on a tilt a world yeah i don't know jason's giving them a little too much credit i think i don't well no because like uh in the car in the original colony states the red white and blue is especially in new england i feel like right mookie do you think that like they just slap red white and blue colonial shit on everything where's the red jason where's the red there's some red behind there on

some other ride um you mean like does new england have just like a red white and blue aesthetic like naturally i just in terms of the design like i feel like parts of sure like i mean yeah it's like every it's like ever it's i feel like when you think of new england maybe this isn't reality but it's like everything looks like it's like a fourth of july parade or something you know what i mean where there's like, what are those little like half circle, like red, white and blue, like ruffle flags or whatever that are like hanging off of shit. I think maybe it's not that, but that's what you're led to believe. Yeah, that feels right to me as somebody who's not been to the States

and just knows it from media, I guess. Yeah, you know it from like It Chapter 2. Right, yes. Yeah. So that feels right so yeah anyway um if you're a listener go ahead no no no you go i was just gonna say just if you're uh do a do a report if you're around there and just see what's going on maybe the red is hidden blue is maybe the red is on the side and we're not seeing it we're being we're being stupid somebody's got to check

this out for us somebody just that one car is maybe all the different cars are different uh designs that one was that cart that cart that cart was uh donated by the new hampshire police department and one is like a snake and says don't tread on me yeah yeah yeah so where we go on we go all one's just a sean hannity's face painted on the back of it everyone's different they're all different cars the tilt i don't i don't think we said they do have a ride they have a shoot the shoot ride which movie is shoot the shoot is all they call it the longer log flumes that fit like eight or ten in a row um like the jurassic park ride oh okay that attraction at kenobi is called uh at canopy excuse me it's called the boston tea party uh yes i vaguely remember that ride yeah again just profiting off any like colonies shit

like new england uh revolutionary war i i lost track of the number of times i went to battlefields or like old farms or like this is how they ran a big crop when they had to cut the crops, you know? Yeah, I like New England is so like, you know, there's a lot of history or whatever. So I think it's like there's a, you know, they were like, you're right. It was like they were like among the first like 13 colonies. So it's just like, this is our man this is like our identity like we were the the the pilgrims and you know the pilgrims were on plymouth rock and the fucking whatever the boston tea party like paul revere is boston where it's just like this is our shit our old yeah tri-corner hat shit. This is us. We love it.

The greatest hits. They're doing the greatest hits. If you come there, that's what you want. You want Founding Fathers. You want some historical things. Then you want the bad boys of Boston, Aerosmith. You want everything in the area that's famous. Check out the

Ocean Spray Cranberry Processing and Visitor Center.berry, the Ocean Spray Cranberry Processing and Visitor Center. Oh, they have an Ocean Spray sponsorship? No, I've just been to the Ocean Spray factory in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Or the Ocean Spray, like,

you can see a tour and see... By the bogs? Yeah, learn how bogs work. Wow, you've been to the... Stand in a bog? You've been waist deep in berries no we just saw like big pictures and recreations like yeah no I haven't I'd love to go in a bog and just you know get

in there and mess around but uh I've seen Plymouth Rock around in there man just fuck around find out pee in the bog yeah I really want to pee in a ruin a batch of cranberries um i mike with the the aerosmith thing they seem to have a lot of tribute bands yeah there's i think it's weird that they i'm surprised i don't think i knew there was there

were tributes of this or how you would do it but there is a bruno mars tribute which is kind of funny and you can watch that on a youtube link where the person sat through the entire 25 minute show and yet still labeled it tribute to bruno moss spelled not not uh moss like mas but like tree moss right right like oh man i liked it nice nice fella nice performer bruno moss and then you if you think maybe it was a spelling error or something but then they made another video they seem to go again post another video and say moss again is that the name of the like arrow myth is the name of the it could be bruno moss is that the no i think yeah yeah aaron asked that question

and i i think it the video is called Tribute to Bruno Moss. So unless it itself is a tribute to another Bruno Mars impersonator named Bruno Moss, then we're two steps impersonator removed. Could be a labeling issue. It could be, yes, you're correct. They're tributing.

The likelier answer, the most likely answer I'd say is that the person that posted it is a common moron you fool you're a run-of-the-mill uh american moronic idiot you posted an error on the internet and you should be shamed for this um what else do we have about canopy because we there's there's other places to hit and there is a ride coming up that i am thrilled to talk about but are we missing anything on canopy let me let me do a real quick one and then yeah the ride's big i found this too uh jason you'll be excited about this and at least in 2014 there was something you get a coupon it's a dollar hot dog day and uh you could yeah there it was like

there's two coupons there's a coupon for like saving money on the actual admission and then on the bottom there you would present the coupon uh and get your dollar hot dog and you would i mean is there a better deal as far from the food supply people at sodexo the giant food uh company wait is sodexo bad why is sxo bad? I don't think anyone said it was bad. I mean, it's just kind of like a big monopolistic food supply company. I don't think you have a lot of choices if you need a certain quantity of food, like if you're running a restaurant or a college dining hall or something. So Jason, you knew what Sodexo was before this,

because I actually was not familiar with that name. Sodexo Marriott was the people who supplied like the dining halls I worked in in college. Oh, interesting. So you were like a, you were familiar, you worked with Sodexo. I think they paid me. I think that's who

like. Wow, you're a Sodexo former employee. Sodexo's blood money. Are they paying off Sodexo's. Yeah. Are they paying you now? Wow, Sodexo. Come clean, Joe is your beaver. Oh, no wonder we had to spend the fucking time talking about Sodexo.

Oh, man, he always has to slip it in now. What if Mike's in on it? He brought up that Instagram. So that Sodexo would get said finally. Yeah, you guys want to go out to dinner tonight? What if Mike's in on it? He brought up that Instagram so that Sodexo would get said finally. Yeah. You guys want to go out to dinner tonight? I was maybe thinking we could go someplace where they're supplied by the Sodexo brand of food supply.

Yeah. Sodexo hot dog links specifically. It's a little more snap to them. Jason and I have both gotten a fat check from Sodexo. That is for sure. we're on to you now one episode every four years and that's all we have to do so we're good we're good for a while they won't come shaking us down again um do we want to move along do we want to talk about santa's village uh a little bit because boy oh boy i i

wonder if mike and jay said do we all find the same thing the ride oh i think so yeah um but yeah i don't think i know which ride you're talking about it probably wasn't there i think it's a newer thing what do you recall about uh the santa's village of your childhood in jefferson new hampshire yeah so so santa's village is probably the one that i like have the least memories of because it was like a boring ass like you walk around and it looks like christmas and there's like i truly i truly could not tell you one thing that i did there other than like you walk around and there's maybe like a little train ride or something but like i do i barely remember santa's village truly and i'm sorry i think that's okay i know that's but you see you brought in a prompt for us is what

you did good and you caused us to have to look up because there's santa's villages around and you sort of know what to expect there'll be an opportunity and are they all affiliated that's what i've always wondered because i remember somebody else i remember somebody else it's just it's just like a it's just a common concept because i remember hearing other people go we have a santa's village near us and i was like you have santa's village i have santa's village but i didn't i i i've never known if they were they're they're all just separate intellectual properties santa claus and fairy tale storybook stuff are in the public domain so if someone's starting an amusement park it's an easy place to start right and you're probably yeah you're

probably getting like even like if say somebody moved from some other place then they like think it's all sort of the same thing too so you're getting probably like oh i would love santa's village as a child let's go to this santa's village so it's a smart smart move and you're getting probably like, oh, I love Santa's Village as a child. Let's go to this Santa's Village. So it's a smart move. And you're like, this shit isn't anything like mine. Mm-hmm. It's a different Santa. No brand unity here.

Right. But I say thank God that this isn't like the other ones because there's some real odd stuff. There's odd IP all over the place. I just want to share the screen really quick so that I can show you the area called Poogie's Splash Pad. There's a fancy penguin with a top hat and a little tie in one picture, but the knot in the other two. They're inconsistent just with Poogie's style.

But what a name, though. Love Poogie. Poogie, yeah. We like Poogie. Love Poogie the penguin yes um it's it's like it's a character making fun of you mookie it's like they're like it's a parody of you poogie um so so poogie splash pad is there but the main thing to talk about is a i'm just so like because there's limited ip with christmas like what

what do you do really besides like here's the the bake shop where mrs claus makes her cookies or something but this place really figured out something with a ride called the great humbug adventure we all did you guys yeah yeah yeah love this love it yes um i wonder if do i try to explain the ride or just allow the the man himself to do it i think maybe this is the move because i don't know if you guys saw the same video that i did there's ride throughs but then there's one there's this one that's like very artistically cut um let me pull this guy up um i mean this this explains it so succinctly and this is this is true insanity here we go i am ebenezer scrooge and this is my home and these humbugs are making me miserable so let me stop right there these humbugs are making me like i don't know why the emphasis is there maybe somebody was arguing that the humbugs aren't

making him miserable and he had to correct them um but so this is a rough ebenezer scrooge famously says bah humbug and I guess This is a ride that Imagines that humbug he's that's not Just something he's saying Ebenezer Scrooge is a grouch because His house is infested With humbugs

Oh my god It's a reimagining of It's a reimagining of the story yes Which I really like It lets you know why he doesn't like christmas this is like this is like in this is like if you did the origin if you did like the solo like uh origin story of of ebenezer scrooge and it's like why does he say you know what i mean where it's like you know how in solo when it's like that fucking stupid thing where it's

where he's like chewbacca that's too long i'm gonna have to call you something shorter like chewy this is like humbugs everywhere and you're like oh that's why he says humbug now that's it that would be everything in your life there was a one moment that caused it for sure when paul mccartney walked by that guitar shop and looked in the window and nodded and a legend was born i don't really remember where this video goes if there's nothing interesting i'm just gonna let it play kind of silently while we talk because look there's one now oh wait a minute here if i go back frame by frame, you can read the sign, which explains further the... I mean, first it says Santa says no food or drinks on this ride.

Santa himself lays down the rules here. But then the great humbug adventure. Tickle the humbugs with your special laser and make them finally giggle. Huh? Finally. All right. A lot of questions here. Finally.

I don't know why. I mean, I guess this has been a decade long infestation. Does that say finally? That's very hard to see. Mm-hmm. I think so. And it's parenthetical. Like, make them finally giggle.

Yeah. Really weird. And then just the phrase tickle your humbugs. Tickle the humbugs with your special laser. Tickle the humbugs with your special laser. Yeah. Just everyone sit in that for a moment. Just think about it.

Say it out loud. So special. Tickle the humbugs with your special laser. Marinate in that. Tickle. It's a good ASMR I've said this before turn off the podcast while you're listening now and turn to the nearest person find them and just run in and say that sentence to them and then run out

tickle the humbugs with your special laser exactly and see what they say it's really melodic the more you say it tickle the humbugs with your special laser tickle the humbugs with your special laser tickle the humbugs with your special laser it seems like a procedure to like that's like a lot of euphemisms for like getting rid of genital

warts or something if you don't want to tell your child that's what the operation dad is going to have honey your father is going to have his humbugs removed and the doctor's going to tickle them with his special laser the doctor is also a master tickler um this is yeah this this was made by the sally dark rides company who made uh mookie there was once a ride

uh based on the moody blues song nights in white satin uh at a heart a short-lived hard rock park in uh by myrtle beach um and this sally dark rides company has made a number of dark rides uh all over the country all over the world they did the justice league rides at six flags and then they also made the humbug i think they've made they've made a lot of weirdo rides there's some looney tunes ride they did i looked up there is a ride have you ever heard of this jason in pennsylvania they did a ride with animatronics that is mr rogers neighborhood where you ride the trolley yes to bring trolleys back there i let it i had no idea there was a mr rogers neighborhood where you ride the trolley yes to bring trolleys back there i let it i had no idea there was a mr rogers ride i've heard a little about that yeah they changed

it into daniel tiger is that right i'm thinking of the same ride oh did that i don't know i thought maybe it just disappeared yeah there was a mr rogers ride and they changed it to the just daniel tiger specific okay um yeah anyway this place makes some like bonkers rides we might want to do an episode where we just pick off their website whether or not they are still around or not like if it is a like weird wonky kind of scary kooky animatronic filled ride i think we might just want to like throw darts at sally rides and and then do an episode about it but they definitely are because i went to their digital booth at the uh iapa convention last year which was all digital uh digital you went to a digital booth that's right yeah i looked at their prospectuses and

such uh because they sell a lot of rides that are like pre-made right right that you could just insert into your park i think that i think i got like a cold sweat being like that we have a guest here and that and that like a virtual prospectus for a ride company was talked about yeah that's all right we're cool dude i swear we're like pretty cool we're not even that nerdy about it let's go back to normal stuff like the narratives we would tell ourselves as children to distract ourselves from our mundane suburban upbringings um anyway i don't know here's a really this is a like like a scary wax figure come to life he's pointing a gun this whole video is like i i don't know who made this or why, but it's kind of like, it's not just the ride

going through it. It's full of really intense angles and cinematic close-ups. It's sort of a fever dream and then the humbugs are sort of eerie in another world. They have flower ears. They're soos-like.

Yeah. They're kind of cute, but they're a little gross not even scrooge's house also that's just a whole other premise so i mean it's where ebony's or scrooge lives so good honestly yeah yeah yeah fun pretty obsessed

dying to go here and tickle some why is it tickle though oh wow look at the bugs they're so cute the humbugs yeah there's like five humbugs one of the great trips they saw the cute humbugs you tickled them oh but they're like aliens oh jesus christ yeah there's a lot going i know you wouldn't even like maybe flag these as bugs necessarily like they're a little more well they have like bumblebee torsos but this is very like um salem witch museum um okay uh uh wait is that a place that is that a new hampshire salem or that's that's salem massachusetts so that's where the witch trials took place and they have the uh

they have the witch museum there and you go in but they have these like very old like very creepy animatronics oh where they like tell the story of like uh whatever like the crucible or whatever right it's like very um it's like very unnerving that's that isn't even on our radar we gotta do that yeah if there's weird red robots that's a pretty cool one it's like very old and i think they haven't changed it in like years and years but it's like you go and you sit in this like little room and there's like little they like light up little animatronic like things and they tell you the story of the salem witch trials and stuff like that oh man that's great so great hasn't been touched in years that is uh not by

a favorite song also those humbugs had like little like side mouths like they were like like they were slack jawed or something like this yeah they're all snarky comics yeah yeah they're like they're yeah they're all little bill mars youtube thumbnail face yeah they uh dc culture is out of control it's run amok and we know i know running amok i'm a humbug um so all right that's what i wanted to say about santa's village primarily should we move on to uh the the oddest thing on your list really like i think when i gave it the cursory google uh what are i'm sorry what like i i had to double check we were talking about the right thing clark's trading post clark's trading post yes this what do you want to describe it as a person who went uh yeah well so

i mean it's like there's there's two major things about this place that i have memories of two major attractions but it's a it's like a sort of larger like compound trading post where it's like it's like you know like cool general store vibes but they have like old trucks that you can look at and like old an old looking like um you know like an old 50s uh gas station facade but there there's two major attractions there which is which is clark's trained bears so they would put on a show with bears i think they still do which is sad but yeah i think for many years when is over 49 it's decades and decades of bear shows where they do bear live bear shows where it's like bears are balancing on balls and like you know shooting a

basketball into a hoop and jumping through little hoops and stuff so there was that and then there's the tram ride with um the uh oh fuck what's he called like the old man there's there's a train i know about this i was delighted where you would ride through it's almost like kind of like the haunted hayride but you were in this old like um you know like uh like like hollowed out or like you know the sides taken off bus and you ride through this thing and an old man an old like steampunk man like chases you through through the woods his name is wolfman yes wolfman wolfman you get him to did you read about this the way that you get him to leave you read about this the way that you get him to leave you alone did you read this scott i did but you i feel like you you should say it i love

everybody on everybody on the bus men women and children included you all yell scram you old goat this rules love you old goat and that's how the wolfman would leave you alone but it was like a guy who had like big like a big red beard and big crazy hair like an eye patch and like a club and he had like a steampunk atv and he would chase after you would be like and they're like it's the wolfman and you had to drive away from the wolfman and we would all go scram you old goat and then the wolfman would And we would all go scram, you old goat. And then the Wolfman would be scared because you yelled scram, you old goat.

And that was the tram ride of Clark's train. That's like, and I, as a child was genuinely afraid of the Wolfman. He looks scary to me. Yeah, of course. Yeah. That's the,

like advertise that they advertise like the guy and that catchphrase right on the front of the website. That's the first thing you see when you go to the website. Scram, you old goat. And he's written about in the newspaper a lot. Like if there's changeover with the Wolfman when the oldest Wolfman retired. Yeah. And then he's picking his successor.

This seems like major local flavor. I don't know for how far emanating from lincoln new hampshire but at least there's some places in new hampshire where wolfman and and scrammy old goat loom really large yeah i mean in retrospect it must be like those just it must be like a local actor or something being like i got the wolf well i found i found the story of it i mean now it's local actors i think essentially but there was a so yeah as you said this was the you know the main thing was was bear shows and they'd make the bears play bear skit ball and um and also do like this seemed to like involve bears in a wedding proposal once

like a bear pulled out a wedding ring all kinds of weird humiliating bear things and that was like the main attraction but then like the only people who knew how to do the bear show had to go out of town so they couldn't do the bear show and it's like well we do have the train still or the little or whatever you were saying the car with one side missing um but is that enough and then there was like a maintenance guy who just who looked like wolf man who was just just was very scraggly and he was just kind of thinking and was like i'm gonna take a risk but if this risk pays off it might change everything around here and he went and found some weird furs and when the train started going around he went up and started screaming at it and and made up

the whole i'm a man raised by wolves he just did it without checking with owners or anything wow and then it became like well if we don't have the bears we always have wolfman like it was a crucial second attraction it really like it just like i think amplified the the place and fleshed it out and it was all this one guy wow and a legend was born and a guy who i mean big risk like i'm shocked that nobody was like what the fuck are you doing yeah just doing a little tram ride and you're running up going like i'm the wolf man get out of my woods i do like i feel like most people they'd be like you can't do that dude yeah it's like disneyland you can't just say i'm

like i'm i'm trying this i'm gonna start like screaming spitting at these people tram tour like you can't do that at the container store i like put like i glued some of the shelving to my legs and i was like i'm shelf boy yeah get out of here i'm trying to scare you Scram you old shelf Scram you old shelf One enterprising manager was like I think we got something with shelf boy Shelf boy That took balls Carlson I took a risk

What if the container store could be more than a store It could be a brand I have a little video Of the wolf man Because it gives you a brand i have a i have a little video of the wolfman uh because it gives you a flavor of the yeah um the uh this this is this is truly you guys post pictures of this afterwards on twitter so people can see them yeah yeah well assuming we remember yes i'll send you i'll get a i'll get a few and send them to you oh if you got old pig an old pig, yes, please do. Oh, no. You know, I wonder if I do.

I should ask my parents if they have. Because my mom just went through a bunch of old photos. I was like, if you have any, please send me some. I'm going to ask her. I'm going to text her as soon as we're done. I'm going to text her right now. And then she might listen to it and be like, you didn't like the vacations? I thought you had fun at the arcade. Oh, my God. Indications I thought the you had fun at the arcade

Wow you've got some negative wolfman spirit Here's the wolfman What are you doing on my turf no You know what I'd do with you? I'll take you and I'll take your hands and I'll stick you right down those jaws down there. And then, so he's a guy in like furs and an eye patch. We hadn't said that. He's missing a lot of teeth. He's super scraggly.

And then he says, I'm going to throw you down our jaws right there. And fucking great, like, this is my car. Like great Boston accent. Just like, this is my car! Like, great Boston accent. Just like, this is my car over here! My car has jaws! Your car is over there, but my car has got jaws! This is my car!

You kid, you're going in the jaws! That's it! You're going in the jaws on my car! So he kind of, like, he seems to hit a button and then like some big like bear trap looking thing is going on and off in front of his car and it is like little picket fence pieces that are jaw like his his weird little mad maxi car has a mouth in it and he's gonna feed your kid into the jaws man that would scare the shit out of me this guy yes man yes it's scary man and he like fucking and he's got and his car is like it's like one of those like old like it's like a it's like a lawnmower engine or something so it's

like the whole time like when he's chasing you it's like loud and he's like screaming at you and waving his club the lo-fi like yeah it makes it worse the lo-fi nature of it yeah well and it's also not like you know you you can kind of smell in a universal setting that like well there's an actor-y air to the norman baits and it doesn't it's not a real knife but when this like rusted out car pulls up with like this, what if this is just a guy who lives in the hills? It's in the hills. Like conceivably, he just lives there and he is mad. Yeah, he's just like he's very believable. Yeah, you would not be able to tell.

I mean, if I was a kid, I would just be like, what is this accent? This must be a hill person accent. He he keeps going and says, this is my favorite thing in the clip here. If you ever come with me, double-cross me, you'll become barmaid stew, especially kids, boiled kids with stuck cabbage and rock pills.

That's my favorite. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I mean, that little thing is like what Charles Manson would say, like when he went on Charlie Rose and then like, like that, that is true serial killer stuff. Yeah, this guy, I admire the commitment and I admire the history of the character. But yeah, I, ooh, scary. Varmint stew. He's gonna, with kids kids boiled kids with yeah it's become varmint stew where it's

like it's varmint stew but it takes the the special extra ingredient is kids his child's flesh yeah uh yeah no kids he boils them i wonder do they have like a like a listing for playing him on the website like could i apply to be the wolfman or would i just like they would look at me and they go you don't look like the wolfman what are you doing there's a lot of people vying for that spot man yeah that's yeah that's you're right there's probably like they hold like open call nationwide auditions for that that's like that's like that's like like landing like like hosting the tonight show it's it only happens to be very few people in the world lauren michaels has a lot of drama every time there's a changeover there's so much the guy

says he's gonna give it up and then doesn't yeah and lauren has a lot to do with it too guys mom says i'll look sweet all right a lead nice within the episode we didn't ever even have to wait for it um that was a question i had as if like is there some would a couple if a couple different things happened in your life mookie is there a chance that you're that you are the wolf man you know maybe you know look it's tough los angeles is tough you know am i gonna be here forever pursuing this dream of mine i don't know maybe i retire as an older gentleman in another i don't know 10 15 20 years back to new england and go well i have this skill this we talked about it earlier this skill where i can become anybody

you know what i mean you know we know that you have this we know that you can inhabit different personas and you know what is entirely new people showed up yes the the answer is i wouldn't rule it out yeah if you do the work now possibility you're not gray now but maybe someday and you start growing the hair now is he not gray he's oh you don't wait a minute what am i talking about yeah you don't have to be wolfman's not old he's a ginger you're right you're right but you so if you do but if you start putting in the hair work now if you don't cut it start growing yeah yeah if i don't shave for the next 15 years then i'll and then all of your credits and work up to this point just become like oh my get all right well i guess

he seems like he knows how to act before he's acted before but does i don't know is that a good thing or a bad thing is he gonna intellectualize wolfman he was the last wolfman yeah and if you're if you're like in the next like 15 years somebody goes oh you're growing it out for a role and you go yes a long-term role fire the role of a. The role of a lifetime that I'll get in 15 years. That's going to be my future. I would be curious if any of the Wolfmen ever were like, I was in a local commercial or something, or like a, not local, even like a regional commercial

that was like, it was just like, I go to commercial auditions too, like. Yeah, I probably. On my days off. Like the guy who played Bozo, when i was a kid book he played bozo like i found his website and i found his reel and i'm like he's trying to get like a commercial job now whoa bozo's trying to do the same jobs i am we're going out for the same roles he doesn't he does but just like so he'll pop up in things but just not with a lot of range so it's just like if you don't buy a recliner from us then i'll turn your kids in a vomit stew you kids at home

you tell mom and dad yeah you don't buy a recliner you're gonna end up in a stew pot he's like threatening flow threatening flow and the progressive people with stew child stew yeah i'm like like is wolfman like is wolfman i mean it like you know like has wolfman ever been like you know seen or portrayed in any kind of like pop culture anything is this a reference yeah has anyone like done any depiction of their childhood where there would have to be a wolfman equivalent or even just a mention of it or just like you know like you know

whatever in a Stephen King thing where it's like we went down to Clark's trading post where the wolfman was hanging out I mean that's Stephen King would write it a lot better than I just did but the one that I would have guessed Stephen King would mean that's stephen king would write it a lot better than i just did but don't tell yourself like the the one that i would have guessed stephen king would have been influenced by

nope it's the charming little carnival atmosphere of canobie uh well and if yeah if if there was like a a pro like imagine a horror uh situation at this place with not only wolfman and the jaw car but also a bunch of bears who are probably mad that they've had to bounce around on balls and play bear skip ball for so long i mean this this place at night is i i i don't know if you're stuck there or like in an apocalypse or something this is an awful place to be oof yeah there's a lot of darkness here for sure yeah yeah well it's you know it's like local level you know uh attraction

where it's just like yep this is the best we can do in this area that just is mostly like dirt and trees um do we have trees we could build a train that takes you through the trees and that's not nothing i i have a more like wholesome local attraction story too uh yes yes if you want something a little lighter if you want something a little let's go out on some lightness yes sure uh so

this is at story land which is another uh park we mentioned uh earlier i said it's run by the company that runs kennywood park and i found a video online and from 1983 to 1998 they had a dark ride called voyage to the moon and it it really seems like a uh uh sort of homemade sort of dark ride that has a certain type of magic to it and and you can find this video on youtube someone made like a a video essay about it voyage to the moon complete ultimate tribute uh this is in the style of uh mookie there's a guy named martin's vids who makes um video essays about how certain rides were made and someone made it for this little voyage to the moon ride and I'm

encouraging everyone to go and watch this video because it takes some twists and turns the guy gets some stuff from the park as like gifts and but a brief description of some of the rides so it's sort of like that old silent movie,

The Voyage to the Moon, where you're like... Or Trip to the Moon, where a bullet is shot at the moon. In this case, your car overshoots the moon and enters into a black hole. It says, after emerging on the

other side of the black hole, guests would then encounter a wizard who would appear out of the darkness. The wizard. In the black hole. In the black hole. There's a lot more. The wizard would then explain to guests

that he was able to make dreams come true and suggested that they come along with him to see what was possible. Oh, boy. Are you still with me? Okay. Then the golden bullet would enter another scene occupied by strange creatures

called Worry Wartles. Wait, and you're in the golden bullet. You're not like, the wizard didn't fire a gun. No, no. Worry Wartles. But you do meet Worry Wartles. Guests would then encounter another strange creature

named Chugga Chugga Puff Puff. So, I don't know. I think that sounds awesome. You're delighted by all this. I was delighted by all this, and especially once you see there is footage in this essay, this video essay of the ride, and then unfortunately it does end with the note that

the ride closed, the walls does end with the note that uh the ride closed the walls underneath the dome were removed and professor biggle steps loopy lab opened for the 1999 season so professor biggle steps loopy lab of course evicting uh the voyage to the moon ride was the character chugga chugga poof poof is that what you said chugga chugga puff puff puff puff okay so it's a weed like character it's a weed based uh yeah man kind of and drinking and chugging like it's a real partier so yeah i like the sound of all these characters for sure uh including that professor that replaced the whole thing. Yeah, but what I really want to see

is the wolfman just going wild with that jaw car and laying waste to the whole thing. That's what he tries to do every time and then, you know, these brave kids stop him every time. Yeah, magic phrase. He's trying. Trust me me he is trying he is

trying to destroy that place yes and get out of there and destroy every he wants to destroy storyland i know store canopy this guy it would lay waste to all of new hampshire if he got out if he ever got out please people this if this message can reach far and wide you need to scream scram you old goat there's only one thing that stops him and if this podcast if something happens in this podcast is the only clue. If there's a Jurassic Park level disaster at Clark's Trading Post where

the Wolfman gets out somehow. But what if the Wolfman is a misunderstood protector? What if the Wolfman goes away? What if New Hampshire is just overrun by worry wardles and humbugs you know maybe

and that's the only thing keeping it in stasis yeah it's the only thing keeping it in stasis you know yeah well we won't know we won't know until it happens i hope to god that that does not happen yeah let's all pray real quick pray yeah let's all pray for the sake of the people of new hampshire yeah yeah for the sake of people in new hampshire there's a there's

worry wardles and uh humbugs are not escaped and we don't have to turn to wolfman and form an unholy alliance amen yeah amen well wolfman protect us oh santa oh that was the other the santa's village the other thing i had uh uh just right at the end um mick foley wrestling icon aka jack aka dude love aka mankind uh said of santa's village every good thing in my life somehow leads me back to jefferson new hampshire and the trip to santa's village my parents took me on when I was only three years old. Wow. He's a, Mick Foley is a big, he is such a Santa,

he's like a Santa head. He has a Christmas room and he like dresses as Santa. He's very, he looks like Santa. He's like jolly. He's a very seemingly nice guy. What a sweetheart. And yeah, he loves Santa's Village and I think I've said this on the show he's a big

theme park guy because when he jumped off the top rope to the outside to try to land on the rock on an announce table and missed and cracked his rib right on the side of a table and in anaheim he thought oh man am i gonna be able to make it to disney tomorrow it's the first thought he had during the match geez committed well so well that's beautiful everything good in his life came from and I think a lot of good came from talking about all these places a lot of great

IP a lot of great breakthroughs about your life and family stuff yeah I hope it was helpful to you Mookie you survived podcast the ride we all went through someookie. You survived Podcast the Ride. We all went through some stuff, and we survived Podcast the Ride. Mookie, thank you so much for being here.

Thanks for having me, guys. Of course. For sure. That is an odd amount of bizarre IP in one neck of the woods. I did not think that's where we were heading. I love the Wolfman. I love all the humbugs. Thanks for bringing it to us um uh but now uh um

before all us old goats scram uh let's exit through the gift shop mookie is there anything you'd like to plug sure uh you can check out my podcast you are worthy with low mookie b um and uh uh follow me on social media on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram at LilMookieB. L-A-L-M-O-O-K-I-E-B. Other than that, no irons and no fires, man. You have an iron in the fire of inspiring people and of making people, of getting people in touch with their best selves and getting people away from chasing clout

and if you i don't know if anyone's ever plugged a tiktok account really on the show and if you do one thing i think follow the tiktok and if you want to be inspired on a regular basis then follow yes with the disclaimer of um uh it's it is parody what oh man yeah i thought it was real too i had a lot of breakthroughs from that i don't want anybody i don't want any any cool people coming there thinking that i'm some kind of fucking have you not though didn't i heard kind of taking those people down. You know what I mean? Taking them down a peg. Did you not have one that blew up significantly within TikTok? There was one on TikTok that got about something like 13,000 likes and a bunch of comments and of a bunch of people who thought that i was being a like sincere like um uh i mean basically for for anybody who doesn't know this it's basically like

a parody of like the type of guy who goes on tiktok and is performatively um you know like feminist to in order to um get laid sure sure and so it was a video sort of like that but it was a bunch of people thinking that i was being sincere and i gained 12 000 new followers in a week of all people who think that that is the kind of person that i actually am and so you know i mean i guess that's a success uh yeah audience you've always been trying to cultivate yeah sure and then and then they look at some there and then they look at some of the other ones and they're like uh is this what i was is this what i followed and i'm like yeah it is i'm just being me thanks for the numbers. I just want to get my numbers up.

You're all just little stats to me. You played right into my trap. Fell right into my car, Jaws. All you fucking unverifieds. Ugh. I don't even look at the names. Just put them on the pile. Yeah, all right. Well, yeah, check out on tiktok uh and the podcast it's so funny

um and as for us you can find us on all the socials at podcast the ride there's merch available in our t public store and for three bonus episodes every month check out podcast the ride the second gate at patreon.com slash podcast the ride um yeah and i think there's only one i think you have to end it with a little scrammy old goat yeah the old goat all you old goats listening to this scram right now scram right now before you become vermin stew vermin stew sounds all right jason's had vermin stew back where he when he was a little boy yeah i'm sure probably the pennsylvania thing yeah yeah oh you didn't know you never had it Jason's had varmints too back when he was a little boy. Yeah, I'm sure. Probably. The Pennsylvania thing.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you didn't know? You never heard it? Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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