Podcast: The Ride - PlayPlaces with Mike Mitchell

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

McMonth is coming to a close (in front of the paywall), but we can't fully digest until Mike Mitchell (Doughboys) returns to PTR to talk slides, ball pits, and extremely warm, humid tubes. Ta...ke your shoes off before listening!"Defunct McDonaldland Gang with Emily St. James" episode is up at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Forever Podcast the Rides-Mcm is the place for fun a fun month of discussion centered on McDonald's the characters the playplaces
Starting point is 00:00:11 the happy meal toys podcast the Rides-Macth will make you annoying it will make you want to tell your friends facts about the grimmest they don't care about Podcast the Rites McMuff
Starting point is 00:00:23 Podcasts the Rites McMunkmunt podcast the rights make month podcast the rights make month Pa-Pa-Papa Pah Podcast the ride. Did somebody say, Mick Month, podcast the rides month long,
Starting point is 00:00:38 celebration of the themed entertainment of McDonald's. I think I did a different slogan every episode, but I don't know. I was trying to check notes and not repeat, but hey, if I did it, congrats to me. I'm Scott Gardner.
Starting point is 00:00:53 That's me. There's my car. I'm here. I have a filet of fish fresh in my belly. Oh, so you must be jacked up. You've never felt is the best you felt in months. It was good.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Jason's not. feeling is good because he doesn't have a filet of fish in his belly. No, I don't, but robble, robble regardless. Robble, robble. And I'm sorry, I mean, unless you want to keep that going when the topic is not McDonald's, I will miss hearing you say, roble, roble. Maybe I'll just drop it in every now. Then it's a surprise. Just to keep, just as a nod to the great character who we got to talk about. I do not have a flay of fish. I really wasn't hungry for any McDonald's stuff. And I was like, I could ask him to bring me something. I was wondering if you were. And then I'm like, will they just show up with something and I ruin it by giving a specific order?
Starting point is 00:01:39 And then I'm like, man, I'm just going to let sleeping dogs lie. Well, are you disappointed then? Were you expecting a surprise from your meal? No, no, I wasn't. I think a McDonald's meal, like while recording would make me real low-key. Yes, yeah, yeah. But you said it made you feel better than ever a couple weeks ago. I did.
Starting point is 00:01:58 I did. So I might have done the opposite. I mean it and I was just sitting stationary watching wrestling. As opposed to this, when you're going to be gesticulating, pumping your fists, giving thumbs downs when bad takes are given, mostly by our guest. Wow, really? Started in a while. threw him right under the bus, right on the top.
Starting point is 00:02:19 My goodness. Oh, no. Well, then we should bring him in sooner than later. So we can get off to the races. The context Jason was providing is that we did just come. from McDonald's. Yes. And we did it with our guests, too.
Starting point is 00:02:33 I'm very excited. We are closing out McMount with, he's podcast, The Rite's first guest. He's a dope boy. He's a birthday boy. He's a Napa boy. I was the first guest.
Starting point is 00:02:44 You remember? Wow. I mean, I remember, I just, I don't think, I think it was lost to me that I was the first day.
Starting point is 00:02:51 You just didn't remember how monumental it was. I didn't remember, I didn't remember how monumental. I mean, of course, no, it's monumental.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah. But I didn't know that how monumental it would be. We reflect on it, but we should have given you a plaque or something. We didn't, we didn't, like, set it. All right. It's never too late. Just like Jason and I was maybe expecting some sort of plaque when you guys got here.
Starting point is 00:03:08 You're expecting a meal. You're expecting a plaque. And what kind of hosts are we? Yeah, we were expecting, like, a quarter pounder with cheese and a plaque of some sort. Perhaps a, perhaps a silver quarter pounder with cheese to commemorate him being the first guest. Well, I wasn't sure if someone, if Mike was going to bring me something and go, like, this is the mean burger. It's like, Mitch, what do you think the main burger? burger at McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Wait, what? Huh? Wait, wait. And also, really quick, wait. What am I talking about? Wait, pin in that because I really am being a bad host because I didn't say your name. Mike Mitchell, hi. Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:03:41 I had to, but, okay, yes. I got ahead of myself. Well, he interrupted his name being said, but I still felt like I should do it. Oh, you're right. Mike Mitchell, what do you think the primary burger, like the good burger at McDonald's? Okay, I knew you were. I actually have two answers, and neither of them are the quarter pounder. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:01 But I'm going to say this. If you get McDonald's, you are going to get plaque in your arteries, most likely. You're going to get, that's where it's going to happen. Rather than a plaque than a bunch of plaque. Every burger comes with plaque. Which, by the way, my also did buy me my meal today, which I kind of, I wasn't trying to trick you into this. Oh, no. No, this was part of the arrangement.
Starting point is 00:04:21 I forgot you were so quick with the app that you were. Well, yeah, it can be. It's no chore for this guy to like, yeah, oh, like, please, like, I hate to make you get on the app. and order me McDonald's efficiently. I get like a little excited. I get like a, I don't get like a boner, but I get like a little excited to use the app.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Definitely don't get one. Yeah, no, that's not a good. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Which and that's, I mean, don't get one anyways from ordering on the app. You shouldn't be, you shouldn't get that excited. But what if any app, there's got to be some app that it would be okay. I mean,
Starting point is 00:04:52 I guess you're dating apps. You can get a boner. If you're on a sex worker app, I guess you can, but we've never, Scott and I have never been on a dating app. We got locked up way before. I was locked up in MySpace.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Literally our first conversations were MySpace. That's how long, I true 20 years this summer. So that's how long. That's, yeah, yeah, I've never, there weren't apps when I started. You were in the cold minds of DMing and finding love. Right. That's the very early stage. At least there was that because there was, I guess, I guess Facebook was barely before that.
Starting point is 00:05:21 But yeah, I don't know. I don't know what we would have. So you maybe had it for a year or two at I had it. We got it. Your junior year? At some point, sophomore year. Because it hit the ivies first And then it hit smaller colleges, I feel like
Starting point is 00:05:35 I was my sophomore also I graduated 2007 Okay, I was 2005 So my senior year we were We were getting it And then I was gone I was like there's like an app Where you can be like
Starting point is 00:05:45 You can be behind a keyboard Frightened and say like hello Like maybe a woman would respond to you So like I missed that all through college But I am very much I have been on the As a single man Yeah the new one is
Starting point is 00:05:58 Though I will say I did today when I was watching you guys with your children I did We'll explain We'll explain I uh I I did finally
Starting point is 00:06:10 He meant to be there He didn't just bump into him there When I was watching you guys and your children I I was like I think I know what it may Like a percentage of what it feels like to be a parent Just seeing you guys
Starting point is 00:06:23 Watch your kids And I was saying When I go up in the To my I have a deck And I go up to my deck and I drink a coffee and I leave the door open and when the cats show up to like the door like that to me is watching you guys
Starting point is 00:06:36 was the way you were like watching your kids the entire time you were there which is like three seconds go by and then you're like where are like like you see you snap into it and that's that's me with and this is on a roof so like they can't escape but the door is open and then like it's three seconds
Starting point is 00:06:53 I'm like where are they and like so I'm like I'm like okay that's what it's like to be apparent and you know what I don't think I want to try Oh I wasn't sure if you were heading for Like and I saw the love I know I thought that's what you're saying too
Starting point is 00:07:04 And it gave me a little bit of another The fear That fear is too It's too much for me I also had a moment where I was uncertain If you were referring to a stack of dating apps As a deck You're like I'm on the deck
Starting point is 00:07:20 As I opened the iPhone For three hours No no no no I'm just I'm just sitting on like a like a It's like a porch on the, it's just the, it's the roof of my house, basically. Yeah. Where they're like they can hang, but you'd be nervous if they were up on a ledge or, uh. They're 10 years old now and I was just like, and I hope that they have another half of their life to live. Sure.
Starting point is 00:07:43 I'm like, oh, I was, I've been trying to be looser with them and like let them go outside where I know they can't really escape. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think they're going to jump off the roof necessarily, but it is, it's attached to other houses. So I'm like, they could like go over to the other house, which would be a nightmare. but like, but I'm like, oh, they can like kind of come out on the porch and be out in the sunlight because they're animals and I want them to be around. You can't be fully present in that moment. Yeah. And honestly, I kind of felt the same way about your kids today where I was like, I kind of hope they get out of this play place.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Yeah, we didn't know what was, we didn't know what was in there. And at one point I asked my son, like, have you seen anything dirty in there? I'll go look. He said he came back and reported no. But I, yes, you don't have eyes on everywhere they're going. There's a lot you can't see. Yeah, yeah, the vast majority of it, not all of the tube systems have windows.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Yeah, we did a whole expedition, and we'll explain it all. But I think, and you're right that our attention was split, which is why I'm glad we have the podcast right after, to actually be present and be talking to you and not be yelled at every five seconds. I mean, it was all adorable as well. Well, we can get into it, but I'll say this.
Starting point is 00:08:55 the name sandwiches I think the I think the king of the sandwiches it's the number one for reason is the Big Mac yeah I agree
Starting point is 00:09:03 I agree but Mike was disputing me you were saying quarter barred yeah you were saying quarter pounder when did I think this is when we were eating
Starting point is 00:09:13 this wasn't in an episode you're saying no this is this is off air content this was when we should not do if you guys are hanging out you need microphones in front of you by the way
Starting point is 00:09:22 Chuching wasn't I saying that the pad Won't we talking about the patty quality? We might have been talking about the patties. This doesn't sound like me, I'll be honest with you. Because I was saying the Big Mac is the Superior Burger solely because of the sauce. Well, that's a different question.
Starting point is 00:09:36 That seems like you're saying what's your favorite. It is my favorite. I'm just saying like the number one burger isn't the way he presented that question. Like what's the like Star sandwich at McDonald's? Well, you're going to. It's a Big Mac. It's a Big Mac. I think, I mean, like, the QuarterPenter has been around longer than the Big Mac.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Sure. But my number two answer, I think you'll think is, I think you'll dis, I think you'll disagree. But Big Mac, number one, and then I think the, if you wanted to choose another burger for McDonald's that is like the main sandwich, it's the McDonald's hamburger. Wow. I agree with that, too. Wow. I love it. That being, we've addressed this, that that was, that was always my order and I stopped going regularly a long time ago. So that kind of stayed locked in. When it, when it got to, when it was trickling down when I'd only go like once a year or whatever, it would still be two regular hamburgers.
Starting point is 00:10:24 I wonder how I only ever I'll never I don't know if I'll ever get a hamburger ever again but and I'm like I bet you it's still good is my guess but like a cheeseburger I just and like in my head I'm like maybe the cheeseburger it's like Big Mac whatever one A and then one B and one C or hamburger or cheeseburger to me like I'm putting aside what I like the most and I do like the Big Mac the most yeah this is the difference between like greatest films and favorite films like here yeah yeah yeah I see yeah I see the difference greatest film gone with the wind favorite film gone with the wind for me beautiful yes perfect but it's for the wrong reason Mitch I did you ever I jane and I watched the Munch Madness finale live stream yes did you for did you uh oh you're welcome uh did you ever figure out why they were calling you Megamish. No. Was there a reason for that or no?
Starting point is 00:11:27 I mean, maybe that joke I just made about Gone with the win which is not my favorite movie. Who was calling in the chat? The chat? Wow. My God.
Starting point is 00:11:33 My God. Just some Rebel Rosers. They were calling me Maga Man. Rabble Raucer. Maybe I said that as a joke at some point in that. Yeah, they're rabble rosers. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Did you watch God? In the old halls of Ithaca, did you watch Gone with, I feel like we watched even weirder. Did you have like a film studies class? I had that one that was like, from like four to 10 p.m. You just watch movies.
Starting point is 00:11:53 I watched Gone with the Wind because one of the middle school plays I was in was like a riff on it called Gone with the Breeze. Like it was a joke, but it was about a movie studio making a big epic. So I watched Gone with the Win at like 12. That's very much. As context and research for Gone with the Breeze? Yes. Is that a mass produced play or was that an original? That's one of the Pioneer Drama Services, like 30 roles.
Starting point is 00:12:23 And so that was the play where I got to wear the ascot and the beret. Yes. Which you are wearing an ascot today, by the way. We've not referred to this. It's a cooling. It's a cooling. I like it. It looks nice.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Thank you. I am wearing a sporty little kerchief. I can't think of a worse movie for a 12-year-old to watch than gone with the way. It seems like a very bad. It seems like a really, it would be hard to grab your attention as a child. I mean, it looks interesting. It's long. It looks interesting, but as a little movie nerd.
Starting point is 00:12:53 like a little Hollywood nerd. I was waiting for the, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Which is like the very end of the movie. When are they going to say? I assume it's his catchphrase.
Starting point is 00:13:05 He says at every other scene. Yeah. This is good that you're here to talk about, you know, we, in doing a month about McDonald's, I wanted to be clear about not trying to step on your turf.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Oh, yeah. On the chain restaurant turf. And for, I'll give a fork rating. We can call this. the official McDonald's episode. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:13:24 We got it. We got it. Oh my gosh. He walked right into our trap. We're doing McDonald's here. I'm thrilled. Wiger's not here. I'm very happy.
Starting point is 00:13:32 He doesn't ever get to give a official fork score. Which, who do you guys of the group? It seems like Jason has claimed the hamburger as your character. How do you guys see yourselves? Because for me, I'm like, I feel like everyone just calls me grimace. Even though I think I have more hamburger energy on my podcast. But with. Weiger.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Weiger's a Mayor McChese kind of guy. Or a Ronald. And I don't know where you're also very tall so you could be a grimace but Scott has a purple shirt which also could make him grimace.
Starting point is 00:14:04 I think Wiger's more officer Big Mac. Okay. I like that too. I'm more of like an authority. Wow, wow. You know. I agree with that. I agree with that too.
Starting point is 00:14:14 We look forward to having him on soon. Well, that was the other thing too. I like, uh, how often do you guys like, uh, Do you give updates on, like, have you addressed the kids falling out of Splash Mountain and things like that?
Starting point is 00:14:28 We haven't talked about that yet. Yeah, yeah. What's going on there? Two kids have, and they made it, right, thus making it okay to make fun of. But yeah, two kids, because it's not really a restraint system on, what's, let's hear your thought. They got to turn it back to the way it was. They don't want the kids to keep falling out. They got to turn it back to the old.
Starting point is 00:14:47 They're jumping for Disney to be like, we're changing it back. Kids are falling out of it. would be so... They're jumping because they don't want to see the finale. You're saying? No, no. Maybe. No, why is it now happening out of...
Starting point is 00:15:02 It is crazy that they're now jumping. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know. Yeah, we're going to have to have lap bars on Splash Mountain. That would really hurt that. They haven't announced that or anything. They haven't shut it down yet. They will.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Where did this come from? It's strange. This is like a weapon situation of like, why are all the kids running? Is there something in the air? Why? Is it that the... What? was the second one.
Starting point is 00:15:24 There has been, too, and other kid fell out. I don't know. Yeah, whatever. Unless this was fake. I don't know if maybe, maybe there. No, I saw it. I think it's, yeah, yeah, yeah, I believe so. Unless it's, the kids aren't as scared anymore because the lift hill isn't scary.
Starting point is 00:15:40 So you used to have kids be frightened on the way up and they would be like clinging to the log. And now it's a, they're bored and antsy. They're standing up. Well, they're having a party. Right. They're standing up to dance. Right.
Starting point is 00:15:51 And they fall out of the log. I have not rode Tiana's Bayou Adventure yet. At all. No, I haven't. Not some stance. I want to ride it at some point. But, and obviously like people. Will you fall out of the log?
Starting point is 00:16:06 If I fall off, then they got to turn it out. I also, by the way, I think I realized you said I want to riot. But for a second, I thought you said, I want to riot as if a January 6th to protest. People try.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Yeah, yeah. It didn't work. I am fine. I'm fine with, with, I, I loved Splash Mountain. But also, like, it's that sort of thing of like, I think it's hard to be, like, precious when I'm like, I remember when they, I was alive and at Disney World, like the weak Splash Mountain was opening. And then I did ride it. And I went back and wrote it with my dad, my senior year of college.
Starting point is 00:16:38 So that's like, it was from like when I was a child at Disney World and then going back again, my senior year of college. Which is a big build. And now you're building it up in your head. Now it's a momentous thing to do it. And I did. I loved it when I wrote it. But I was like, oh, I don't, you know, whatever. things can change a little bit.
Starting point is 00:16:54 But it does seem like people don't like the people are like a little hard on there's empty spaces or something. Right. People are like the more. I mean there's like people who are like racist of course. I don't think it ended up. That was a concern that I don't write it and think about empty spaces too much. I think it's worse in Florida. Is that right really?
Starting point is 00:17:12 Okay. I think that's what people say. My biggest complaint is what Mike just talked about, which is that I, that there is not a build to a scary crescendo. Yeah. I think that when we talked to, we did. episode about it and that's where I landed. I think there's charm. I think there's good animatronics and good sequences.
Starting point is 00:17:28 But it's really missing the scariness on the buildup. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how you can defend that part of that ride. How have you not done a special news alert for, I mean, and I know because we're talking about McDonald's. It took over our, we missed a lot of big stuff.
Starting point is 00:17:44 We've missed the changes at the Universal Hollywood parking structure. We missed a lot. This is, this is, yeah, okay. The second incident happened on July 4th. The second one? Yeah. Maybe he was trying to celebrate.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Happy 250. The first one, I believe, was just a kid goofing. And then he fell. I swore it was like, oh, God, these are going to be content teens. They're going to be teens filming videos. Somebody was saying it was on purpose, though. They fell out. I don't know if that's been confirmed.
Starting point is 00:18:16 The first one, it seemed like they hopped out. Yeah. And then we're trying to get to that little stairway. and then they fell. Because somebody's like, it got scared or something. Something like that. But it is funny that that doesn't happen like 12 times a month.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Yeah. Like how is it not happened that often? Yeah. You think if you have no lap restraint and then people are scared. Yeah. Why is it all of a sudden happen? It seems like it should, and now maybe it will just start.
Starting point is 00:18:41 That's what I'm afraid of is if it starts happening and they put a lap bar in there. It could be a trend. It could be a trend. That's, some of the fun is the looseness that it's not, that most of it's not on a track, gravity and water. just taking you and that you aren't restrained.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Yeah, that would it would hurt the culture of the ride. I think it's the kids don't like the ride as much as it once was. It's a protest jump. I'm going back to that theory. So the reason I brought that up is because you guys are going, oh, I can't, or you can cut this in. How do we do it? But you're going to talk about something with Wiger that I am jealous of.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I'll just say that. Yes. Okay. Do you want to be talking about it? I want to be talking about it. And maybe we can just give a clip at the end of what I, think. How should we do it?
Starting point is 00:19:23 That there's that there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's,
Starting point is 00:19:27 there's, there's, that was the dough boys episode of podcast the riot is, is the parking garage and security line changes. That's, you said, I know if you're on, I don't know, yeah,
Starting point is 00:19:39 we'll sort this out later. Let's just let the conversation happen. I, I was very upset about it and I still am and, and Carlson has a secret opinion on it that I guess I'll hear at some point. Yeah, yeah, but I, but how are you feeling? Can I say this? I'll say this.
Starting point is 00:19:51 I'll give you this part. I was excited about it when I first heard about the changes. I said, oh, good. Yes. Okay. Yeah, you're afraid of. So I've said that on the show before, is that I was like, great. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Okay. The bubble is widening. Yes. The idea here was to, much like Disneyland has it, like extend the security border of the theme park out to the surrounding shopping complex. And I'm going to say something now. then and so city walk is basically you have to go through a security line to get into city walk
Starting point is 00:20:24 which was not the case before Florida that was the case new here right so yes and I'm just gonna say this Citywalk is dead that's all I'll say Wow wow that's my strong same those are a few words City war is dead as opposed to what
Starting point is 00:20:40 as opposed to when they've killed it with this latest move they have killed that's all I'm gonna say wow okay okay well we'll get into the whole we'll get into the whole thing that's a power those are powerful words. And look, I love it. Just even being up here in, in, in, in beautiful Burbank, and, and I, I, I understand the appeal being in the shadow of the Fast and Furious coaster. And, and, uh, I, I do, I do love, I do love it up here, but city walk itself is, uh, is, is, is, is on its way. I don't, I don't know if I'll ever see a movie there. I, like, I, like, I never want to go see a movie. It takes it off the list. Unless it's an IMAX movie or whatever, like, the only time I'll go and see something. where it used to be hey it's late there's an 11 p.m. showing or whatever at universal i'm going to go and now i'm like i don't want to deal with i don't want to deal with
Starting point is 00:21:26 what is that what does that bump you over to as the theater is it become i'll just i'll just go to the americana or somewhere you know what i mean like somewhere like i mean it just was always an option and now to me i'm like the option's gone you're going to try to that far away imax that's by the airport i'm going to go to lax instead McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher and the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba to crafted sodas like the sprite berry blast with berry flavors and cold foam who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six all new drinks are here now at McDonald's refreshers contain caffeine uh um well we'll we'll we'll we'll we'll we'll we'll
Starting point is 00:22:17 dig in. Send us any of you. It's okay. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. And I mean, look, I want to hear more, but also, we're in hallow ground here, too. We're talking, we're talking, we're talking McDonald's. We did, we tricked you into talking about McDonald's on our show. Because what is the current situation now with McDonald's on Doe Boys? It has,
Starting point is 00:22:33 you have done episodes, but it's oddly minimal given the, that you haven't gone to that well nearly as many times as Tocobel or other, uh, we did a whole, I mean, we did a whole McDonald's month. We did, we, our, our, our, Madness was McDonald's at Mac Attack or whatever.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Whatever that it was. Yeah. And did you, did either of you come on? No. We didn't have you on for that. Carlson, that is, that's a tragedy. I know you love McDonald's. I do, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Me, me, whatever. There's no tragedy. I'm not. He's the expert in the food and the app. We ate everything on the menu. Wow. And fries won. That was,
Starting point is 00:23:08 that's what we won at the end. That's pretty nice. That's pretty nice. Double cheeseburger was really up there as far, which, by the way, is what I got today. I did a bad job as a dough boy today. Because you didn't do the new stuff. But you're off.
Starting point is 00:23:19 You don't have to do. Yeah, this, enjoy, enjoy only having some food at McDonald's. My thought was that one, I should have gotten a happy meal. Oh, right. If I'm out in the play place, I'm like, I should have gotten a happy meal. I should have been, I should have, I was living amongst the children. I should have, I should have gone all out. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Or two, there was new chicken Caesar, new Caesar sauce. Yeah. And there's a chicken Caesar wrap. And I was like, I should have done that. I guess I should have done that too. But again, food is your show. I wanted to be clear about this division. This is not about food.
Starting point is 00:23:52 And experiences and places is our show, which is what you agreed to do and come and be part of. But wouldn't you say that the food, eating food at the play place is kind of a part of the deal too? Which I did do, to be clear. I got a double cheeseburger, small fries, and a medium Coke. At play place adjacent, you were in the shadow of the big pipes or the tubes or whatever you want. to call it. Yes. I basically was in a room that was 30 degrees hotter and watching children as I ate.
Starting point is 00:24:23 That was the big difference. Some of which were our children. Some of your children. Not all. Yeah, well, that was that when we threw, we threw you the list of McDonald's possibility, things that we wanted to do this month. And I think your knee jerk was you going in a ball pit would be funny.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I agreed. And I agreed with that. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So, which seemed like a little kid turd roulette. basically, like, whether I was going to, like, step in human shit or not. I guess was kind of where my head was at.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Yes, yes. Which we all are like, this is funny. It will be fun. But we all know that, like, the idea of it is, it's like, I might step in human shit if I do that. That is a lot of the videos on YouTube about the history of McDonald's playplaces. Talk a lot about the human waste and diapers. Mitch, were you typed up when you? went to the play plays.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Okay, so here's the thing. I was, I, I, I, are you asking today? Yeah, today. Are you dived up? Yes, today I was, but it was the only time I've ever been dived up in the play place.
Starting point is 00:25:26 That's just for padding. In case you, there was hard surfaces in there is what we realized. So you needed the pads. This is my biggest takeaway of being in the, is that adult bones are just not made for the play play, like crawling through.
Starting point is 00:25:38 More sensitive, yeah. I was like, my, my, like my knee bones are just like on hard plastic and this sucks. Yeah, because I,
Starting point is 00:25:46 it was all. awful in there. It was awful. I mean, should I just break it that like, we did go in. For people listening.
Starting point is 00:25:53 You guys went in, yes. We went in. Carlson's the only coward who didn't go in. Yes, I am. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:25:58 we weren't sure what the plan was. You planted the seed of me being in a ballpeter a play place would be funny. So it led to this, this would probably be a good, a good centerpiece for the episode. We went in with a plan like,
Starting point is 00:26:08 okay, you know what we'll do? We'll go there. And just to make it a little less weird and just to give us cover, we will bring children. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:16 brought my oldest son, Mike brought his daughter and was like, let's just go and see what happens. We will see if this feels uncomfortable or if it's just the most natural thing in the world. And to be clear, this is, this is, this was a thing we planned out long ago and this is the reason you guys had the children was to do. Yes, we brought them here. Yes, no, we had to explain to them. We're going to hang out with Uncle Mitch. But he decided to have kids. It was for this. It was for eventually. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Long-term book. Okay. Yeah, so make us less weird when we go do creepy stuff. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Which was, it was fun for me to walk in. And Scott, I think you just starts like, Uncle Mitch is here. To your two children, like, who is this weird? Yeah, we don't really know. I forget if you've met you. I met you briefly. I met both of them when they probably don't, couldn't remember who I was. I tried to get my daughter to call you Uncle Mitch.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Or like, oh, they were going to mean a guy in Mitch. And you could call him Uncle Mitch. She goes, I don't want to. And I, you know, I 100% agree with her, though. I was winner over as the elder. Yeah, you won her over. You're very charming with both. My son liked you very much.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I had a blast. The kids were great. And you know what? They were well-behaved. I don't think that they would be one of these kids to leave a turd in the ball pit. Which I think is that I think I do think as a kid, I would jump in that ball pit. But also, I got to say this. I, as a child, I had my birthday at McDonald's and this is pre-play place.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I had a birthday there. Okay. Grimmis came. I had a McDonald's cake. Really? Whoa. Oh, I had the cake.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Grimmis cane. It was just a regular McDonald's. It didn't have the old school, like the hot outside equipment that burns you. It was like. It did have the hot. Oh, it had that. Yes.
Starting point is 00:28:00 Oh, okay. Wow. I had there was a, there was a officer Big Mac. Yeah. What's the official term? It's a climber. It's a climber prison's way better. So who cares with the actual.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Yeah. That's also. That's how I refer to it. Burger prison. That's what I, the dough boys to me is, is, is,
Starting point is 00:28:17 that's what I call dough boys is my burger prison. It's Wigers face. Get in here. But the burger prison, the big burger, the officer Big Mac
Starting point is 00:28:30 Big Burger prison was there and there were the hot, like, it was all the hot. And also, by the way, I thought that those were really well done then, too, like,
Starting point is 00:28:38 I was like, oh, these are cool back then. But I do think that they're, like, and so like, when I was a, you know, whatever, seven, eight,
Starting point is 00:28:46 elementary school, have my birthday there, grimace came, my friends kind of gave him a hard time, he ran away, it made me very sad. Oh, wow, wow. How could they do that?
Starting point is 00:28:55 You invite them into his house? They were like hitting him and like being crazy and then he just ran off. Like the kid who was in there was probably just like, fuck this, I can't do this.
Starting point is 00:29:03 And he didn't come back. And I was very sad about that. You chased for your poorly behaved friends. But that was, I think that was pre-play-play. I had to have been pre-playplace when I did my party there. So it was like the hot stuff.
Starting point is 00:29:16 We were indoors mostly. Do you track any of those friends today and are any of them MAGA today? Oh, definitely some of them were MAGA. Matt, wait, Matt, why did we both say MAGA? MAGA. Oh, is it not a hard, like, I think it's a good sign. I heard both. Doth protest too much, I feel like.
Starting point is 00:29:38 That's a way to get you off the trail. Maga, right? I say it's so rarely. I don't. It's so not. my belief system than why I never say it out loud. Marga. There are plenty who are who probably do say Maga like that, who are like probably rich.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Oh yeah. Some who are like a, and there could be like one or two that are like prison people, I guess, but who are in the, who are in the upgraded officer Big Matt Burger jail. They're in the, they're in real prison. But I, uh, I, I, I, like, loved McDonald's and happy meals and stuff like that when I was, when I was that. age and I feel like every child does. That's not a,
Starting point is 00:30:16 yeah, but I, I loved the playground and I, because I don't think it was officially a play place yet. And then, it's a weird, I think, it seems like roughly play place is what we did today
Starting point is 00:30:27 where it's more indoors and it's more tube oriented and play land is probably what that was where those older, the 70s characters are represented and it's outdoor and scalding. They were like fry guys that you let that were like, you could sit on that bounce back and forth. I remember like, I remember some small things from it. But when the play place came around, I mean, like a revolution, I do think that like our generation maybe expects progress because we saw it go from like a play, whatever, a play land go from that to the play place, which was like it felt so futuristic.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Yeah. And incredible. Like I was sad that they got, I do remember being sad they got rid of the officer Big Mac, but I was like, everything else here is so. cool and there's you can go up like going up to a second level as a child that only kids can go yeah i was watching my son freak out about that today yeah he was having a blast it's why that was that was that was that was wild to me and i don't remember a single turd in the ball pit i have no recollection of that i don't remember no there was never a turd in any ball pit i was in the only i remember once i was swimming in a pool and i thought i saw change no no no i was very good boy i thought i thought i
Starting point is 00:31:43 thought there were pennies on the ground so much. Oh, no, you throw pennies in the die to to, you know, throw coins about in practice you're going underwater skills. I was like, oh, are there pennies? And I got down there and I'm like, these pennies aren't picking up and then it smushed my hand.
Starting point is 00:32:01 And I remember screaming in the water, screaming underwater, and then swimming over the life car, go like, hey, there's big dirt in the pool. And so they had to clear, the pool and at least only penny sized i at least yeah it wasn't that big i thought it was few pennies because it was browned you would probably added up all the pennies in your mind before touching it like how many pieces of candy can i get with these pennies once these sweet things are in my hand and now to touch
Starting point is 00:32:29 oh no it's disintegrating you celebrated when the mint when they announced that they were going to stop making pennies because this thing has tortured you for that long that's true that's true never be confused again I was on the big red boat in a hot tub. And a, this is that probably, this is probably, I mean, it had to have been when I went to Disney World and then Splashmont was opening. Oh yeah. Because Big Red Boat had a Disney tie-in. Do you remember any Disney presence on the Big Red Bo? Oh, 100%.
Starting point is 00:33:00 There was, there was, the characters were walking about or whatever. Dang, dang, wow. It was like a Disney cruise. It was the only cruise I've ever been on to this day. I've never been on another. around. Yeah, yeah. And I also remember, like, everyone on the boat being at, like, a character breakfast. Everyone also, like, all my, all the adults getting sick from just being on, like, a ship.
Starting point is 00:33:21 I'm sure the ships are so much better than they were even, you know, 40, 30 years ago. But, uh, but character breakfast packed and then just as packed was like church on Sunday, which is really funny. Wow, wow. We were just talking about that in our deepest, in our deepest patronage of Club three. We were talking, we were reading old Disney World guides from the early 90s. where they were telling you all the things you can do, and one of them was church. And you could go to church in like the Hawaiian Luau area, the Polynesian hotel, which is the only thing keeping me hanging on at that church.
Starting point is 00:33:50 You're going to make me go to church on this vacation. At least it's got to look like something. All right, fine. It's Hawaii church. When I saw Michael Eisner speak last year, he trashed the big red boat. It was, it was a big red ship. I mean, it was horrible. I was in a hot tub and this is I was in a hot tub and a turd popped up in the hot tub.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Oh no, it floated. It floated to the top and I was like, what is that? And it was like, oh my God, it's a turd. I remember like, Jesus, it's a turd in the hot tub. So you were in there with a bunch of strangers. Yeah, we're in there with like, yeah, there was like people. Also, by the way, I like get so mad at kids and hot tubs now as an adult. And like I was, but also I was just sitting there kind of quietly.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I wasn't, I feel like kids can be very annoying in hot tubs and like jumping around. and they probably shouldn't be in there for two. This is the thing. It's good that I went to the play place that I get in touch with my inner child because I've become a cold man who hates children being around and being in the hot tub.
Starting point is 00:34:52 But I was sitting in the hot tub and someone, yeah, some kid or someone, something, somebody shit. Would someone looking like, did you look around and someone was looking very bashful? Do you know what?
Starting point is 00:35:04 I felt like it was like... What is the curry? Are your bigger bashful hands? Can I get a photo of you with the necker cheese? with that hand position. Yeah, that combo. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Oh, my God. That is like Charles Nelson Riley. I do. Yeah, it happened. He became him. I willed it into existence. A preview of how I drive my wife nuts. And I was being a little stinker.
Starting point is 00:35:27 It's a nonstop match game around here. There was one other kid in there and then, like, as I remember it, and then there was like adults from my, my hazy memory of it. But everyone, I think, just, like, got out of the hot tub as soon as I happened. I also remember being like very salty. Like the, I think it was salt water pools and hot tubs. The turd? The turd. The turd was so salty.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Half a fork. The pool and hot tub I think used like ocean water. I believe I think that's, sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a common thing. I think Michael Leiser called the boat disgusting. That's what he said. I was gross. That was like the, it degraded and degraded. And Disney eventually was like, we're making her.
Starting point is 00:36:09 own shit. We can't do this anymore. It's terrible. I remember it being like dim. When we were like eating like dinner and it would be like in like a dim cabin. It felt like like the innards of a boat where it was like very dark. Right. And then at church I remember they
Starting point is 00:36:25 around a communion bread and I drank some communion wine. I made a big face and everyone laughed. These are the things I remember is I remember a church moment. But this is back I guess when church was one of the big things. Is this still the people probably probably know this who take vacation.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Yeah. I mean, do we discover that like there's, there's just, there's church at Disney World. It's just a lot less. Yeah, but where?
Starting point is 00:36:46 There's a church on, in Disneyland? Is there? No. Disneyland, no. I think there's a specific, um, at Disney World,
Starting point is 00:36:54 they probably narrowed it down to like one or two specific hotels and then they just have a listing. I'm going to see, is there church on Disney cruises. This is, uh, we are not currently offering in-person religious services on, but that's a huge.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Not at Disney World either. Wow. Really? Yeah. There is a prayer room is what they have. Okay. Okay. That is a classic Disney phrase that they made that no one has ever said.
Starting point is 00:37:24 A prayer room? Prayer room. Can you fast pass it or no? That line gets crazy. The line gets crazy. The long gets crazy. It's way worse than saying. Sundays and Fridays, but other days it's pretty chill.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Midnight prayer room. No one is there. And they would prefer you not be there either. It was locked. So was this your biggest concern heading into today's endeavor, the possibility of being confronted with a turd? Yes. I mean, 100% was that. I was like, I'm going to step in a turd.
Starting point is 00:37:54 I'm going to get like a turd on my legs or whatever. Like, I was like, if I jump in a ball pit, there will be like turd on me for the rest of it. Or I'm going to have to go home and shower and then come back. Yeah, that would have been a problem. There's apparently a lot of urban legends about what people have found it. Like there's an urban legend that was debunked of like a kid got poked by a needle. And then he got sick and died because it turned out to be he overdosed on heroin. And that was like reported.
Starting point is 00:38:24 And it's like that never happened. Like this is like a Halloween thing. Reader Boy. Won't someone think of the children? Yeah. Well, before you know hell in love hell and love joy. The dying, I don't know. But here's, maybe this is a good point to bring in,
Starting point is 00:38:38 a good, there's a good point to mention the safety hazards, now that you have already done it and we made you do it and you're out. And my, our children did it as well. Because I don't know the current state of things, but this, the issue of cleanliness was definitely a concern.
Starting point is 00:38:52 I mean, just has been for decades. Here's some 2011 stuff. A mother and child development professor from Arizona swab bacteria samples from dozens of fast food playgrounds and had them tested. Lab results showed a concerningly high amount and range of harmful pathogens including a coliform and
Starting point is 00:39:09 staff bacteria. Staff, pause, the thing that felled our friend the sector keeper. Staff was around in these, and this is play place, this is tubes. A microbiologist said these places are not cleaned properly or cleaned at all. They are classified as non-food
Starting point is 00:39:25 zones, so thus they are not held to the standards that the kitchen or the dining room would be. That's right. Health inspectors does not need to go over them. Not, yeah, there's not food. If food ends up in there, it's an accident, so they don't have to worry about it. But it is true that hypodermic needles have turned up in, this is a specific thing in 2018 in West Virginia.
Starting point is 00:39:46 I don't think anybody got an accidental heroin overdose, but needles have been, there's a place, there's a date, needles have been found, unfortunately. I knew needles had been found. Improperly disposed of, like, you know, medical needle. Disposed of by somebody telling their kid, hey, go throw that in the, Playblies. Yeah, I wonder how that, I wonder how that, if someone, well, you know, it's, it's dark no matter what to think of how that transpired of how the needle got in there. Yeah, yeah, because is it, yeah, I mean, is it, look, because it's possible that somebody's going in there to do drugs into them. And I guess like relaxing in a ball pit while on drugs would maybe feel nice besides the turfax.
Starting point is 00:40:26 And you've got to admit how awesome that would be. It might be nice. I mean, I'll say this as soon as it does, it feels like a place where you could get cyclospore or whatever, the diarrhea thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Diary parasite. If you, if you like licked the ground, I'm sure you would get it. But I will say I was, I was thrilled to see that there was no ball pit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Which I was not sure of myself. This was the, we went to a Burbank. McDonald's location, and it's a location I have been to, and I knew that there was a playplace, but I've never inspected closely. It hasn't become a place that I go with my children. In preparation for this, I was like, you know what, I'm going to poke my head in there. I'm just going to, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to look at the rules list and see if it is a rule that adults can't go in here. It's recommended for certain ages, but it was not a rule that you not do it. So that made me think, let's get Mitch in here. Let's take a trip. We will not get
Starting point is 00:41:27 arrested before this. I, but I think, because I was inspecting it so haphazardly, much like the real health inspectors who inspect the places, I think, in my head, I thought there was a ball pit. So I arrived today being surprised there were no balls. Well, it doesn't even look like there's a playplace here. When you pull up, it's, to tell you where it is. It's next door to the 7-Eleven that was the Quickey Mark during the Simpsons movie. Yeah. And it was an insane Jurassic World activation with a giant. whatever dino fish. I don't know. It was like legit amazing. Right. I mean a famous, a very famous 7-Eleven.
Starting point is 00:42:07 One of a great 7-Elevens. It is one of the great 7-Elevens. And when you pull up to it, it's like a modern outside McDonald's like the outside looks pretty kind of like, I guess modern by like 15 years ago. But it's like gray and looks like a spaceship. And then when you go in there, you're like, oh, there's a play place indoors, which it doesn't matter that it's indoors. It's so hot in this room.
Starting point is 00:42:29 That's the first thing that hit me when I came back there. It was awful. It was awful. It's like 30 degrees hotter than it is in the restaurant. Yeah, it's crazy. So you walk out into immediate heat. It does look like a greenhouse. It never occurred to me that it would not be cooled.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Greenhouse is exactly what I said when we were in there. And imagine that you're, if that's how we felt for the most part not being in the tubes ourselves, then you're in the tubes and now you're in kind of double greenhouse. And it's a hot day to day. And you replace the plants. You replace the plants with child's turds. That's kind of what it is.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Yeah, yeah. See, as a kid, I just thought, like, because my memory of Playplace would be, like, scarf down to McDonald's, run, do a round, go through the ballpaint and the tubes, run back to eat more McDonald's. Do not wash your hands. Like, yeah, I'm not watching my hands. Did you have a job as a child? Why were you in such a rush to get through this day?
Starting point is 00:43:24 I was just so excited for both the Playplace and McDonald's food. And I don't want to eat. I'll eat the cookies when we get home. I miss the little bags of like... The shaped, the McDonald's character shaped. Those were fun. Those were good. Animal crackers.
Starting point is 00:43:41 And the skinless apples in a bag just kind of, they give me the creeps. We were complaining about those today. We were talking about how, like, having the apple option is definitely good as opposed to fries. However, it's a creepy presentation of apples. A little plastic baggy. I think I blamed it on Subway. started it. Jared and Subway are the ones
Starting point is 00:44:02 who's, Jared, I think, is the one who started it. Yet another Jared. Jared's greatest crime. Subway was like the early one where you're like, you can get a bag of apples
Starting point is 00:44:09 and I would do, in like 2005 when I moved to L.A. I would go and get like a tuna sandwich from Subway and be like, I'm going to be good and get a bag of apples. So I've eaten so many of those bags of apples and they suck. They are,
Starting point is 00:44:22 they are back. They're really unsatisfying. Yeah, yeah. I agree. That's like it's a thing to do. I mean, Mitch, you said this a little bit, but just as we kind of move along our journey here,
Starting point is 00:44:31 cherished memories of a playland or a play place. Seems like, I mean, Jason was, Jason was Amps. Jason was full of beans, Rammy. Same rolls applied at Chucky Cheese. Like, eat some pizza. My family was always like, can we please get pizza somewhere else before Amps? The reason being, it was half the price and tasted good. But I was saying, no, it's exciting.
Starting point is 00:44:58 It's like whatever fucked up my brain where it's like, I'm in Florida. I don't really want to leave the Disney bubble. I guess there's better restaurants. Ten minutes away. But then you're going to drive. Would they give into your demands or would you have to go have other pizza? Well, compromise was usually the best option. Sometimes I would win.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Sometimes they would win. And you would often go to Chuck. I feel like I only got to go to Chuckie Cheese for parties. Good report cards, I feel like. Good report cards wear regular Chunky E. Cheese. And there used to be a comic book store in the same shopping center. So I was like a ping and shit. We had a place called Bonkers.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Do you, do you, does anyone know, I've heard of Bonkers. We've come across Bonkers, haven't we? Well, we came across Bonkers, the comedy club and the Margaritaville Hotel. But the other bonkers, I don't know. Have we come across Bonkers? It's funny because it was like, it felt like the most upgraded. It was like, whoa, this place is really cool. and it has like carny rides and also like a giant play place.
Starting point is 00:46:01 But it was so janky. And in fact, a young girl, this is years ago. And she's, and she lived. But she got scalped on one of the clusters. Like her hair got caught in the end. And then like, yeah, that place shut down. It was like after I had graduated from bonkers, I had got my diploma from bonkers and but it was like a like, yeah, I was probably like a young teen or a tween.
Starting point is 00:46:26 and it was like, oh, a girl got, her hair got caught in like the coaster or whatever. But that was a place. Like sometimes for like a, hey, for a fun weekend, we're going there like maybe once every, every so often. But mostly for birthdays. Not bonkers fun house? Bonkers fun house. That is what it is? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:42 You're what it is. And if you want a Google scalp. Oh. I don't want to. I mean, the young girl lived. That's what I'm going to say. That's good. And I think they made, I'm sure they got millions of, or a million.
Starting point is 00:46:56 million dollars, I'm sure. Well, I'm on a Reddit, the Massachusetts Reddit, where they ask what happened to Bonkers Funhouse and the very first comment is about what you were referring to. And that closed the bonkers down forever? Oh, 7.5 million for ride injury, I see. 7.5 million for back then, too, that is, that is a payout. Yeah, that's what it says. I mean, that's rightfully, that's a good. Yeah, of course. I mean, they almost killed the price for. Yeah. I want to buy Bonkers and then be like, I have opened the forbidden ride
Starting point is 00:47:28 If you were giving another go We learned a lot Who dares You have to sign a waiver To ride the forbidden ride No children No children alive You're keeping it the way it was
Starting point is 00:47:38 Just duck There was a lot of like I don't know if this was like The same situation But there was a couple There were a couple places That opened up that felt like Lawless versions of this
Starting point is 00:47:50 Yes I mean that was in hindsight Was pretty lawless Yeah Not as much as like a Like a carnival or something But it felt like there was one place that opened near the Chucky Cheese where it was just like a bunch of carnies were like, hey, we can rent a room here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Because like they had like bumper cars going and one of the carnies would hop on the back of the car once in a while. Yeah. Oh yeah. They would regularly do that down the shore if they had to move the car where like people were stuck. But no, no. While we were just riding it. Yeah. So like we were just having fun driving it and then all of a sudden there's a guy on the back of your car.
Starting point is 00:48:25 And it was scary as shit. I'm realizing now that that's weird. Okay. No, there's all sorts of, like, it's like a, and also a lot of these people are like 17 to 20 years old or whatever. Yeah. Probably messed up. My question to you guys is, would you allow, like, let's say like the Santa Monica Pier, which is like probably better than a lot of these other carney places. Would you let your kids ride in like a coaster at the Santa Monica Pier?
Starting point is 00:48:51 I do want to say, I think as we record this, there was a shooting there in the last two. days. Oh my God. So that puts that in my head of a place not in which I've not been there with my... If there was no shooting.
Starting point is 00:49:01 If they promised no shooting that day. Okay, look, it went off. It was in my house, sir, okay? You have a right to carry. It was a faulty balloon. Jason shot a great white shark
Starting point is 00:49:12 that was attacking some. You were saving a different child. As climate changes, you know, their habitats go away. Animals, you never expect to be here. Would you let your kids ride in one? Can I go on it with them?
Starting point is 00:49:27 You could go on it with them. But here's my thought. My thought is like I was like, I don't think I ever want to ride or ride like that again. And I will say like the McDonald's playplaces do seem safer than that. They're very uncomfortable. But like I'm like I don't think I ever have to ride like a Kearney amusement ride ever again. Oh, that's a good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Like I never. I don't have to do one of those things like the slingshot or whatever. I'm not going to. I don't need to do something like that. Yeah, the slings shot. I don't. I've never needed to do that. A gunshot.
Starting point is 00:49:55 I mean, like, even a six flags to me is like borderline and I'll do stuff at six flags. But I'm like, like anything that's like a like less than a six flag. I don't think I need to do any of those rides. Yeah. I just think you don't know whatever is going to be the problem. Like what is going to be the accident? Like that's the sure. Like, because we were at Lagoon in Salt Lake City and we were going on.
Starting point is 00:50:15 My daughter was going on all the little kid rides. And there's a boat ride that's going around. And she just starts leaning over. I don't know what she was trying to do. like her nose was so close to just like the rocks as this boat is going around. I'm like just stop it. Like she's going to get a bloody nose or something
Starting point is 00:50:31 or break her nose from getting hit. I don't know what like there's no way to prevent that. I understood this when I when I went off on the deck with my cats. I finally, I know what it's like. You have the most fun part of parenting. See, Mike tells that story and I go,
Starting point is 00:50:50 well, she was by the forbidden rocks and the forbidden. in water. She's got a point. What? Sometimes it's like our old friend's tech keeper's sometimes it's good to be there. So you're pro what she was doing.
Starting point is 00:51:05 You're pro of her just kind of like trying to put her face in your and her and a sense. I'm not pro. I'm not pro her hurting herself, but I could see her point of view as well. I know she's testing it out. I'm just saying there's like no protection for that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:17 The curiosity of a child. That's a beautiful thing. It's not OSHA didn't go up to Salt Lake City and figure out that these kids are very close to this. They're definitely able to hit their head on. Children's curiosity remind us who we used to be. Well, we were also nervous for your children today at the playplace because, like we said, it was 30 degrees warmer in that room.
Starting point is 00:51:36 That was the toughest part. And I don't, yeah, I don't see my son sweat a lot. That might be because he's not the most active kid. I see my little one sweat all the time. But he, uh, but yeah, it concerned me that he had just like supping wet for it. They both seemed out of it at different points. points I think from the heat. My daughter was out of it immediately,
Starting point is 00:51:57 which put me in a little, I'm already a helicopter parent, but if we were just at a playground, I think I would have been a lot less, like, attentive. If we were just at a regular playground, we could even see them playing. But there's so many twisting tubes that you can't see where they are.
Starting point is 00:52:10 And she was with another girl, and then they would just stop talking for a minute or two. And I'd go, where are they up there? I hope they didn't asphyxiate from heat. They didn't pass out. Or I just like, what did this, could this little girl be like, hey, let's try.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Hey, let me put my hands from. your neck for like a minute. Whispered. Don't tell your dad. Who was that little murderous child? Yeah. So I started getting like a little anxious. I'm like I can tell she's like overheating.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Yeah. And I was worried we weren't going to get out of there fast. And you saw that she tried to have a little, she had a little bit of a like, I don't want to go. But then I was like very easily like, let's get out of here, which to me suggests she was exhausted. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:49 That's the only way to wrap things up quickly. Yeah. They know they can't take anybody. Right. If she was doing great, it would have been a massive fight with her. Wow. Yeah, you were worried about that. Here's the thing is that I understand you being worried about her passing out there because it is up in that tube. It was already just so hot in that room.
Starting point is 00:53:06 And then up in that tube, it's got to be like 15 more degrees. Absolutely. Yeah, the tubes are always pretty hot. The tubes are always pretty hot. The colors are dark. The windows are dark. Like, you can't, I couldn't, I didn't know where she was. And I get, look, at least there's not sun because in the one.
Starting point is 00:53:23 and the one in Quincy that I went to growing up there was just sun beating down on them. So like you also would be in there and you would be like, I'm gonna, like I remember as a kid being like, I'm gonna pass out. So I'm sure that they were having similar feelings.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Yeah, but I was saying like if it's 100 degree, 110 degrees in the valley and you're back there like, that plastic will be like warping or melting and like can you even like, if it was in direct sunlight, it would be like a huge health hazard.
Starting point is 00:53:48 But even like in 100 degrees up there, you would, I feel like it's, I wouldn't want my. kid to be in there, right? Yeah, we're not going back. We're not going back. Yeah, I don't think that's going to be in the rotation.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I guess if we're reviewing it, a great time was had and fun photos were taken. Yeah, yeah. But I don't think it's going to be in the life. Maybe in the winter when it's like 68 degrees. There were there were classmates there. There were, yeah, there were people. Yeah, actually, some of my son's friends were there who he hasn't seen. That was actually wonderful that like a kindergarten friend, a kindergarten friend walked up and said,
Starting point is 00:54:23 hi, I've missed you. That's beautiful. What a sweet thing to happen when you don't do. Yeah, yeah. No, he knew two people in there. That was nice. That's what I went down to that, kids. I'm going to be joining you in there today, so. You'll miss me when this is all over, too. Hey, I see your wrist doesn't have a watch on it. I got some I'm trying to offload for very peaceful. Hey, kid, don't take a shit in there. Hey, don't take a shit. I see you thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:54:51 let's talk about the heat aspect a little bit too because this is a concern and I'm I think it's awful to hear I don't know what's worse the fully outside tubes or the tubes trapped in this box I probably both have the wrong I mean it's it is it is it's and also
Starting point is 00:55:07 the ball pit is gone like we said it's replaced with just a flat plastic mat or floor I guess yes it's elevate it's suspended I guess but it's like not it seemed very boring but the kids seem to be having fun and they were like jumping up and down. The idea that maybe there's just like a bigger space within this world is fun to them.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were, well, yeah, they were jumping up and down in there. And then before I went in, I assumed that that was maybe soft or even a little bouncy. No. No, that was awful when my limbs landed in there and you probably felt the same way. I mean, like a wrestling mat has some buoyancy rip, but it's like, it's hard. Is that because you need to make that, it's got to make that impact. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:49 I think it was like that, right? I think it was even harder than a wrestling. It was like, it was like pretty. And also, I just want to say that I made the Virgin voyage into this. Yeah, you were for, yeah. Uncle Mitch. Adult. Uncle Mitch was the first.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Yes. But you, and you gave my son a nice opportunity. Like, you want to show me the way in? That was, that was nice. You appreciated that. But yes, you first. Immediately it was like, this, going in, I was like, this is going to be so hard to get out of, which I was right about. And immediately just like, this hurt.
Starting point is 00:56:19 hurts my bones. It's hurting my bones. And then being in there, I was, like, I was, that's all I was thinking about. Oh, bitch. Give yourself some credit. Your joints are probably flaring up too. You know, it's not just bones. I mean, like, just bending. I do think that, like, if I went to the, if I went up the pipes to the second, the pipes. If I went up the tubes to the second layer, to the second level, I would probably die. I don't think that I would be able to get around. It would be a nightmare. You came coming out of the play place was like Ace Ventura coming out of the rhinos. in Ace Ventura too. Like you came outside
Starting point is 00:56:53 sideways, kind of. I mean, in my head, I was like, there's a hole in my sock, and I was like, I'm gonna have athletes' foot when I got out of there. And then I was like, I don't want to touch anything. And then to get out, I had to like go down. I had to go down.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Well, you went out the, there were, we got there and we had to assess what is the way in. We quickly realized that going truly up the tubes was not going to work. But then, but like, you know what? There's enough of a little angle here. that I think the whole day was like
Starting point is 00:57:20 to get an adult in there is like moving a couch and just like all right let's just angle and angle and angle I'm like I think this will work and one was like fairly level but the other one went fully down and you went out the much worse way. As did I really I was like I should do the same thing in solidarity
Starting point is 00:57:37 and that exit was fucking awful Did you go head first? Hands first? I did hands first. I did hands I did always too scared to do that. It was horrible I was worried about my back legit yeah To get out, I felt like I had to go hands for, unless I went the other way, which maybe I could have gotten out with legs first. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:55 To keep the turd theme, it was like a dry turd going through a colon. That's what it felt like. It was like going through all these tubes and turns. And then like, I just like kind of plopped out at the end. You guys saw me kind of fall out. It was, it was horrible. And then I didn't. Me too.
Starting point is 00:58:12 The thing that we didn't, that we saw Scott is that they have the, they have wipes. They have like antibacterial wipes. And I went and ate my burger before I went and ate my double cheese burger and fries before I used the wipes. And then afterwards I was like, oh, the wipes. Yeah. I should have, I should have used the wipes. Or she was in the bathrooms. Or you like washed my hand.
Starting point is 00:58:33 I should have done anything. My daughter took fries and but a couple fries without getting a wash. And then in the car though, I gave her a couple wipes. Okay. So I did that. I think my, Aaron is listening right now and she's horrified by all this because she'd be like, do all of it. Wash hands and wash. She really monitors that stuff, and I'm glad she does.
Starting point is 00:58:53 We should have done. We're going to have like hand foot and mouth disease or whatever the hell. Like we're going to get one of those. It's never happened in our bubble of kids, but I can't even laugh at that. It's so awful. I did a koaleks podcast a while ago, and they, right, which is about kids and what kids watch, and right before it started, they got an email saying that there's an outbreak of hand foot and mouth disease at their school. and then we had to record.
Starting point is 00:59:19 And it was like if you had to do a fun podcast after finding out a parent and died or something. Like they were so ashen. I felt terrible. Koalik gave it to his daughter. He's the one who started the spread. He was at that livestock coach.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Everyone always goes, I feel like Mike is just like, not the form one. There's a different one. And I'm like, no, you were all, you're all the livestock coach. It's a livestock disease to you. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:48 it up. Next are going to tell me my Taylor Farm shredded iceberg that I munch on every recording is bad. Iceberg pops. If you want cyclospora, you should go there. I'll say this. There was a thing where I was like, this is disgusting. I want to get out. But the thing from childhood of like getting out of the playplace and then having a delicious cheeseburger meal.
Starting point is 01:00:13 And it was. You got to have it. It was delicious on top. It was like a great. Yeah. Oh yeah, everybody's satisfied with the, with the McDonald's.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Yeah, good to solid flayaf, like really good, whatever B plus flay a fish. And I mean that in a good way. That's like, that's also, that location is next to donut prints,
Starting point is 01:00:33 who they're commercial from like 20 years ago. Yes, you've mentioned this. Because viral every now and then, George Lopez is in it. Good donuts. Is that viral? Do you just have a feed that is, is your algorithm just primed for donut prints?
Starting point is 01:00:47 That's a great question. question, Scott, and you certainly would think that. I do, I will tell you that I feel like I follow a number of new snack accounts. Oh, okay. And I feel like, snack later you follow. Follow snack a later, of course. I'm just, I'm just making sure. I'm in a room of people for whom snack a later is extremely obvious.
Starting point is 01:01:07 A little bit of a normie follow if you ask me. There's deeper cuts, yeah. But there's, you know, they cover fast food. and new sodas and new hostess and little Debbie's treats. By the way, I feel like I have a rash on my ass and this is probably just me.
Starting point is 01:01:29 It's just me. It's just me. Psychosomatic rash on your house. We'll keep us, but we'll drop at the end. We'll insert a memo or you, okay, because this doesn't come out for a minute. Just send us a voice memo saying what happened to your body ultimately.
Starting point is 01:01:44 If I got a baby rash on my ass, I mean, it is possible. But getting out of the play place of victory and then the fries were good, the double cheeseburger was great. Like all of it and the Coke was great. It was all it did feel like, oh, that was like a victory you had once getting out of these. I'm glad you got that feeling today. That's a nice thing. I think you're right that the combo, because the places themselves, if we're assessing them from the themed environment perspective,
Starting point is 01:02:08 it's not like they're such great. I mean, the old versions were better as far as showing you characters and taking you to a little world. But it's nice that they're all together. their food plus the tubes gives you some visceral feeling even now. My thought was especially with how hot it was back there. I was like, am I going to enter this play place? And it was a suspended little level. And I was like, is this with my weight that's nearly 300 pounds?
Starting point is 01:02:32 Is this going to collapse? And I'm going to cause the death of like three children. By going into the play place. That was like my biggest fear of all. That didn't feel weird, right? It looks sturdy enough to me. It looks like pretty, I felt weird in there. for sure.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I mean, did you, did you not? I mean, it was definitely not comfortable, like we said already. And it was, and it was like,
Starting point is 01:02:53 even in that little, the little place, the new ball pit, the non-ball ball pit, the ball-less ball pit. Yeah. Even that felt 10 degrees. When you were in there,
Starting point is 01:03:03 like that immediate was like 10 degrees hotter. So I can't even imagine what going up into the tubes would be like. Yeah, God, my son braver than us all. No, it seemed like it was fine. It only shook some when you walked around.
Starting point is 01:03:16 I only saw, saw some of the Jurassic Park vibrations happening in the soda cups. Because there could be like 10 kids in there at once and a 10 kids still probably.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Yeah. You were mainly in there just with my son. So yeah, there wasn't. Which he loved by, he loved that I was in there. He was very tickled by that.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Yeah, yeah, he was jumping up and down. He loved it. That was a nice thing. Love bringing kids together with friends. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:03:42 it was, you know what, can I bring up something? I feel like to hear in the finale of McMont, at least on the, Maine, I think there might be more on the Patreon.
Starting point is 01:03:49 We're going to figure it out. But the, I feel like a seed was planted a little bit. In the first one of maybe this will be, maybe in McMmonth, this is a good time for Scott to try a Big Mac. Right. Because I'm not confident. I've had one. I'm not sure that I had a big Mac. And when we had this in the, you know, when we were planning this visit with you, Mitch, I was like, well, maybe that then also this will be like the, you know, all right, we'll tie it all up and we'll get my thoughts on the.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Big Mac. Here's the thing. No fucking way. Did not happen. Was not going to happen. I, the day we recorded that first one, I was like, I thought it was a fun episode. I was happy to be kicking off McMount and, you know, in a good mood. And then I went to a friend's house who very kindly post-made McDonald's for me and the other friends who were there. So it was like a surprise that showed up at late, you know, like 10, 30, 11 or something. And like, you know what? Talking about McDonald's that whole episode, this makes me want to have some. Still not a lot. I probably did not even finish a small fries. And I enjoyed it.
Starting point is 01:04:52 I enjoyed it going down. Are you afraid of the Big Mac? What's going on here? I'm not, no, hang on. I'll get you. It's like Carlson's daughter was afraid of pickles and I like got mad at her for
Starting point is 01:05:00 Yeah. Yeah. Which you might be, I'm bringing it up knowing that people might get mad at me. As I said, but truly I don't go to these places anymore. I pretty much do not have fast food. And what that I was like enjoying it as it went down.
Starting point is 01:05:13 And then the next day, I felt like dog shit from just. from small fries and that is it. I don't eat I even finished this. It felt to me like it wasn't even like an indigent. It wasn't like a usual indigestion. It was as if I. Did you eat any fried food or is it?
Starting point is 01:05:27 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I have fries at plenty of places that do not do this to me. I swear it was the McDonald's fries. It felt to me the only thing I can equated to is as if I ate like a bunch of fur. If I ate like a pile of hair, that's how it felt sitting in later. And this isn't, before you start thinking, this is some Scott thing that is weird, around the time that I I think that is weird.
Starting point is 01:05:48 And that's fine. That's fair. And other people will say that. But around that time, it's like 10.30 the next day. And I'm like, oh, and I'm in bed. I feel so shitty from it. And then around that time, a friend of the show, Andrew Grimmis, as we decided to call him in that episode, Andrew Grimmis, text to me, how you feeling from that McDonald's? I said horrible.
Starting point is 01:06:08 He said, I am like, I'm in bed. I feel like shit. Oh, so maybe, I mean, so it could have been just like there was, like food poisoning. Maybe it was the first little preview of whatever the does. diarrhea thing that is happening. I didn't get diarrhea. It wasn't bad. It was just, I swear,
Starting point is 01:06:21 because I don't have this food very often, my, and when I do, two things happen. Were you eating inside of McDonald's lettuce? It was imported from the Midwest. Post-made it. From Wisconsin. No, it's just,
Starting point is 01:06:37 my, two things happen. One, I get, like, sad. Like, I feel mentally not good. And my body is, like, I don't want this in me. Don't do it. Like, it felt like I had an electrical core.
Starting point is 01:06:48 My body couldn't even classify it as food. And I'm like, you can call me insane. That's fine. But I have burgers and fries. And that doesn't happen. I think it might happen to all of you. If you stopped eating fast food,
Starting point is 01:07:00 you might end up where I'm at where your body can't even recognize it as food. Me and Wiger are the bane to your Batman visiting the pits or whatever. You have a boarded. If you fries, can you? What's the worst? No, no.
Starting point is 01:07:17 See, you got to balance your humor. I don't have a soda either. You don't have a soda. I get how it works. He's right. Because you guys, you steal yourselves every so often. Every, constantly, it seems like, and I, so to the, so Big Mac, no fucking way. If the fries did that to me, I'm not, I can't do it.
Starting point is 01:07:34 I mean, you can try, you can get one and try some and I'll eat the lefties. The lefties. What is the worst hamburger you'll have? Like, Red Robin? Like, what is the worst quality? That's a great question. I would, you know, probably if I'm backed into a corner in a theme park setting. Although even that, I was in this scenario at Legoland not long ago, where I was in a place that as soon as we sat down, clearly was bad news.
Starting point is 01:07:58 We were really fishing for what is not, what is edible food at Legoland? And I think it's a tad hard to find. And it was a sit-down restaurant in the hotel, which I thought would be okay. And then I'm looking at like, this is not, I can tell it's sticky around here. This sucks. The Yelp photos suck. And even that, I did a chicken sandwich that was mysteriously green and something. was a
Starting point is 01:08:17 hopefully it was a sauce that's an okay thing to So you don't like to eat out at all basically No, I'm not saying that's not saying that
Starting point is 01:08:24 No, I'm trying to figure I just don't know what's wrong with you That is funny This is pretty Like Scott loves to eat out Yes I did Yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:08:32 I eat out plenty And I will eat Burgers and fries out I swear it is a fast food But what's the worst Is there a chain You'll still go to Like a burger king
Starting point is 01:08:39 Or The Habit or something Or like I don't do Yeah I'll do in and up But it's still very rare Um Yeah
Starting point is 01:08:47 Yeah, I'll do Shake Shack. Exceedingly rare, though. Shake Shack makes me feel worse than McDonald's. Shake Shack does make me feel worse, too. Fries don't there. The burger itself, I find, like, is like a pure, like a gel for whatever reason. It goes down like a weird liquid and not a good white castle way, a weird. Yeah, I agree.
Starting point is 01:09:05 But I'll veer to the chicken options. I'll eat it right now. Yes. Bring it here. I'll eat it. The Big Mac, I think, is a delicious sandwich. And I'm sure it is. I feel like if you, I think you would like it.
Starting point is 01:09:17 So you are, to answer, you're, you're kind of like the Big Mac cop or whatever. Officer Big Mac. I guess, but I'm not trying to stop. I'm not blowing a whistle on any of you beating it. I know that I'm the abnormal one in this situation. I suppose. That seems like you don't like it. Well, I'm a little grimace-esque too.
Starting point is 01:09:36 All right. But. Claim Grimmis for crying out loud. No, but the hamburger and I, yeah, I feel like maybe I'm Captain Crook. Maybe I'm the professor because I'm thinking about I think you're 100% of the professor. I'm over thinking. I'm thinking about the materials and what's in it.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Jason, I do think you're closest to hamburger. I think that's great. Because any burger adjacent like character in fiction, like Wimpy and Popeye is what I brought up before. Yeah, that's probably why. So I think that any character that's just obsessed with the hamburgers, Jughead.
Starting point is 01:10:11 He's the professor. And then so who are you? Who are you? it's a great question he might be Ronald I don't know about Ronald I'm told the height wise yeah height wise I'm Ronald
Starting point is 01:10:23 but I don't know if it's Do you think no one wants to be Ronald just like no one wants to be Mickey Which Ronald is back right They brought him back He's back here and there He's back here and there
Starting point is 01:10:33 But Grimmis is more back Because Grimmis is the one They're using to text people Yes To let them know there's something new out But that's Grimmis's thing Grimmis is the most back Who is the second
Starting point is 01:10:42 By the way The Playplace has no, there is like, no character. Like, there's nothing even, like, like, it would be cool if you went up into one of the tubes and you saw, like, a picture of grimace or something, but there's nothing. That'd be huge.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Is his name on this, is his, his name? Is his face on the safety rules potentially? Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah. I should take a picture. Yeah. But who was even the second biggest, like, birdie or something? Who is, like, I don't know who is,
Starting point is 01:11:07 but Ronald is, like, seems dead, because I think the clown thing scares people too much now, and they just got rid of it. We were discussing this how we do think that Ronald is a rare. If you generally are freaked up by clowns, we think Ronald is a not scary clown. He's not that scary. He's not. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:22 I think for folks like a little younger than us, they might look fondly on the sentient happy meal box with the mouth. That could be you. Because they had different versions of that. Because he's been useful. I'm just trying to help you get one. I want to try to label you one before we finish. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:40 You give us a really simple assignment. and we're all hedging our bets. I don't know. I thought you would just say, I don't know. The podcast drags to a halt while we figure this out. I don't.
Starting point is 01:11:50 It's a big decision, Mitch. We're trying. We have to think. I got it for you, Carlson. You're a tall fry guy. Like a freak. Oh, yeah,
Starting point is 01:11:57 you're a freak. It's a regular fry guy. That's what it is. Long legs. Really low legs. Mostly legs. I like that. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:12:05 yeah. Yes, the top part doesn't change. That's very good. I was going to say the yum chums. The characters we found in the British-only McDonald's commercial. They're these a little freak.
Starting point is 01:12:15 I don't want to be a yumb- You guys have done too much lore already on this street. Yeah, yeah, we gotta get out of this month. I believe you were on the UK-focused podcast. What's all this said? I'm talking about British McDonald's. We did talk about British McDonald's. That might be coming out the same week.
Starting point is 01:12:31 I love this competition. You know, it's synergy. It's podcast synergy. It's not competition. It is synergy. Yeah, because we won the comment. We have your official McDonald's episode. We won.
Starting point is 01:12:41 you, Eve, be yourself. Do you want me to give a fork rating? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Five for McDonald's. Wow. Fair. I love McDonald's.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Scott, you need to try the Big Mac at some point. I don't think I can do it. I think I'm just not. I think my body rejects this food. Look, this is my fork score for the play place, by the way. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:05 Well, there was one hold up with the play place. There's a tick-tack toe section. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I was trying to play it with your son. And I was rolling it around and then I was like, wait, you can't, the X is, like, why is it on the outside? Why can you play this on the outside? Outside and inside.
Starting point is 01:13:26 And the inside, if you're not playing against like your child, because if you put an X on the other side, it wasn't, like, it wasn't matching up on each side. There were blank spots as well. They were blank spots. I'm like, that's what the fun of this is, is that it should be, it should be that you're playing on the inside. and the kids playing on the... I'm sorry, the kids on the inside playing, and then you're on the outside playing it, and you're playing against each other,
Starting point is 01:13:47 and then it just did not work that way. Like, it seems like that's what it should have. It really sputtered to a hall. Yeah, he got confused. And as did I. Well, he also tried to make two moves, which I have respected. Two O's, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:58 He was like, I'm gonna do two Xs here. And I was like, all right, that's fine. I like that move. Was this guy gonna call me out? He's gonna be serious about this game. But it came screeching to a halt, like you guys trying to figure out what McDonald's characters are.
Starting point is 01:14:10 because it just didn't match up. It didn't match up at all. So it was... The one activity that theoretically kids could do with their parents or their uncle Mitches. Scott, I think I have a game plan for you to try a bake-mack. Oh, yes. Look at he's got his hands clasped together.
Starting point is 01:14:26 All right. He's really serious. So you get a McDonald's Fountain Diet Coke. Okay. Wait, hold on. Will you drink that? No, I don't... Here's another one.
Starting point is 01:14:36 What the hell do you mean? I've never had a Diet Coke in my entire... Wow. So you get a McDonald's Coke. How's that? Can you drink a Coke? I haven't for like 20 years. This is the stuff I cut out.
Starting point is 01:14:48 Wow. And you can argue with me that I'm missing some of life's great pleasures, but are these not good health decisions? It's good for you. Sure. What you're doing is good. You guys are having more fun. I'm not trying to be like, I'm the right one.
Starting point is 01:15:01 I just for me for living in my own body. How does Bugmain feel about this? Because Bugmain loves him. He worships at the altar of McDonald's. And of Big Macs, I want, I want, I wanted to bring this. So, here, let's let, let Jason as a plan. I was going to say, you, I'm shocked you haven't had Diet Coke just because it's,
Starting point is 01:15:17 yeah, Hollywood defaults do Diet Coke of like an all nighter and you're sick of coffee, you know, or, or meetings. Do you want to water it? Do you want to die Coke? So, um, the president also, our president also. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And the president.
Starting point is 01:15:32 You defaults a diet code. But, okay, Coca-Cola classic. Um, what you get there, you get a little sugar kick and you get a caffeine kick. Sure. and that will steal you for trying a Big Mac. No fries. I think I disagree with the premise that something I haven't had in 20 years will help me with another thing that I don't ever have.
Starting point is 01:15:52 There's more like, you know, this multi-drink, so you need a big water with it to digest it, to get it down properly. Is there any drink that you would drink from the phone? How's that? I miss root beer. I definitely miss root beer. That's a good one.
Starting point is 01:16:09 I don't know if they have it. Sometimes they don't have it. I think I liked Carl's maybe better for that reason because they had repair. They have dogs. Sometimes they do, but often they don't. Dr. Pepper is there. Dr. Pepper? Yeah, I like to do it.
Starting point is 01:16:20 That's Dr. Wright in the name. I'll do you right, you know. Can't argue with a doctor. What about Orange High C? What's your feeling on that? That feels like it could maybe work. That's never been my thing. Okay.
Starting point is 01:16:32 So you want a big water, tap with a, you go back forth between water and Coke Cola. And then you need one of the more like, medicinal gator. You need like... How many drinks do I need for the three drinks? No, you need like afterwards. It's prescribing all these pills. Afterwards, just to be safe, you don't even need to necessarily open the gatorade.
Starting point is 01:16:52 If you prefer pediatric light, that's fine. But you need some electrolytes standing by just in case you get the rumblies. Oh, man. The electrolytes will fix the rumblies? Well, people get dehydrated when they have stomach, stuff, water, gatorade. I just don't think of the rumblies as being... you're getting those because you're dehydrated. I mean, you can also just put baking soda and water if you really want to knock out the rubbley.
Starting point is 01:17:15 It seems like something Scott would love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is what I drink. Do you guys not have baking soda and water? I could see that be the one drink, maybe. In my, that's what I drink. I know I say maga and I drink baking soda and water. There's instructions to turn baking soda into an amino acid right on the box.
Starting point is 01:17:33 But if you got the rumblies, tums is lowest, then chewable peptobismal. drinkable if you need and then a big ink soda and water knocks it out the past yes this guy punishes his stomach on such a regular basis he has to have it all they're ready to go to level out I know all the drugs to cancel the other drugs
Starting point is 01:17:54 I was very nervous child and very nervous adult and pre-tinted well it doesn't seem like you guys are going to let me off the hook and you're right yeah I mean you're right that specifically Bugmane big on Big Macs that's that's a major piece of Do Boy's McDonald's history was the episode about
Starting point is 01:18:11 IHob when they were doing burgers rather than pancakes and our own Mike Carlson was there for history when you were about to try the IHob burgers but the ultimate prankster bug mane somehow got into the kitchen and got them to serve
Starting point is 01:18:27 you Big Macs instead. It was very, very funny and also like even like our server like thought it was funny it was like very weird and it's a great video if you've never seen it. it's really great. That's a great moment from everybody. And just really quick... By the way, Jason could be in the pits with the dope.
Starting point is 01:18:42 You could live down in the pits with the no boys. Oh, hey, thanks. Yeah, I like the lost little kid or whatever. Or no, the guy who trains Bruce Wayne, I get the old man who trains him. Just to also, just to compare notes like podcast to podcast. What happens in your guy's comment sections when Bug Main is on the show? You know what? It's funny you say that because there was someone just asking yesterday whether people
Starting point is 01:19:07 liked bug main or not. Now, let me say this. Are they just, I guess I'm saying, is everyone like awesome to each other? Is that what happens? No, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's funny because it was a bug, it was a bug main fan that was like, it was like, which, which, by the way, I'm a bug main. Yes. But it was like, it was like, what do you guys think of, like, what do you think of bug main? And then it was like, anyone who was like, oh, you know, he's not my cup of tea. This guy was like, he rule. And it was like, oh, you're like starting to, like, you're, you're, you're, you're starting trouble in here. anyway.
Starting point is 01:19:37 Oh, okay. Not everyone likes Paul Thomas Anderson movies, and then people like me love Paul Thomas Anderson. Exactly. And that's a really great comp. People, you know, not everyone likes the greatest filmmakers of all time. Paul Thomas Anderson and Bugmane, director of the Napa Boys. The Napa Boys.
Starting point is 01:19:53 So, you know, there's taste and then there's whatever isn't that. He just made his boogie nights. He did, he did. What have we not said? Do we, have we missed anything about the experience? Oh, there was a little toy. there was a Happy Meal series called Little McDonald's. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:20:10 And there was like a miniature play plays. And it's much smaller than you think it is. Like I know it's called Little McDonald's, but I thought it was more like a kids playset. But like that little blue square is a play place. And it's got a giant ball pit ball in it. And it's got a little slide. That's cute.
Starting point is 01:20:39 I sat on the slide there. Maybe I slid down it. Maybe for purposes of the podcast, I slid down that slide. I was so afraid that a child was going to torpedo me in the back there. That's nice that they paid homage to the play place. Though it feels like it maybe needs some sort of upgrade. I like that it has the soft cement, you know, like the little soft outdoor, the bouncy. the bouncy floor outside of the of the play place.
Starting point is 01:21:09 Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah. But they really need to pump AC into this specific. That'd be my primary note. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if you can get it. Would you really give it five forks, given the air quality issue? Oh, I'm definitely not giving the play place five forks.
Starting point is 01:21:26 Okay, no, that's McDonald's as opposed. Okay, okay. McDonald's gets, McDonald's gets five forks. Where you grew up, did they have leaps and bounds? Do you remember leaps and bounds? That sounds really familiar. It was kind of like, we covered this under Discovery Zone episode. Okay, I was about to say it.
Starting point is 01:21:42 Which was three years ago, if you can believe it. Did you guys go to Discovery Zone kids or no? Yeah. Yeah, I had a close one. I didn't. Sure. But eventually they merged and McDonald's had shares in leaps and bounds, kind of around the same time as they had play place innovations.
Starting point is 01:22:00 I wonder if some of this is old leaps and bounds equipment that have gone into these play places. Because Leaps and Browns was a, that was McDonald's, uh, spinning off the concept of the playplaces into its own restaurants. So they may, yeah, maybe they rounded all that stuff up and plastic tubes. They just put them in the playplace once they got rid of Officer Big Mac jail and stuff. That's, which is, I wonder if you could find an Officer Big Mac. You can't. This has been a long, it's been a dream, but it's, they're, they're hard to find. They're expensive.
Starting point is 01:22:28 They're expensive. I think moving them is probably the most difficult. I wonder the, the Jaws exhibit, just by myself yesterday. Oh, nice. Wow. Man, that would be pretty damn. So much shorter to the ground than I thought it was. Could you put that on your deck? Could you put that on your deck at home?
Starting point is 01:22:44 I could possibly put it on my deck and let the cats go in there. Are you comfortable with them going through there? Not worried about them in there. Apparently that device led to hundreds of injuries. The officer being back. Getting in and out of it. Is it just an oven, basically? It's hot and it's all metal.
Starting point is 01:23:00 And it was on a, my memory is it was on sort of an incline when you got in there. So, like, kids were probably sliding and hitting each other, like, bumping into each other when they would be climbing up. And, like, it wasn't a flat surface. An incline to a hole. So it was just angled metal to a big hole. You'd have to, like, grab the bars to, like, hold on. When I went to the- Hot bars.
Starting point is 01:23:25 When I went to the Jaws exhibit, it was, like, it was so clearly that a collector had bought everything and loaned it to, like. It was, like, one guy who would, like, just. like methodically gone through, like contacted every production person and actor and like bought stuff and then was loaning it out to the Academy Museum, which is great. I don't know if you guys have a podcast or I could do the Academy Museum. Could you know? Yeah, we have not. Yeah, I've liked what I.
Starting point is 01:23:49 Yeah, I went when the Godfather was happening. I liked everything there. I think there's a Maryland. We just watched a short video from them about the collector who tracked down the pink dress from Marilyn Monroe who wore a gentleman wear blonde. or gentlemen prefer blondes. That's when I was at the Jaws exhibit, I was like, why there were so many like pretty ladies and dresses here
Starting point is 01:24:14 and then I realized they were all dressed up for the Maryland. For the Maryland. Did any of them approach you like a movie buff go, Matt, Matt Hooper? Are you the biologist who's been sent to the island? I wish you would look straight in that movie. He does. He has good style in that movie.
Starting point is 01:24:35 He really does. And then he went a little cuckoo bananas just later. He certainly has. Now, here's what I think about that movie is that it shows that Chief Brody, sorry, I know we're not talking about Jaws. You can talk about Jaws?
Starting point is 01:24:49 But that Hooper and Quint are like the two annoying spectrums of men. Yeah. And that, like, it's good to be like Chief Brody. And like a, like, it's like a, like a college dweeb guy and then like, you know, like shark hunter. kind of like a like a man's man. Chief Brody's kind of right in that he's
Starting point is 01:25:11 a, you know, he's sensitive and emotional but also smart and like a nice man. And I feel like that's the story of Jaws. It's like to not to be too far to either spectrum. Okay. Yeah. But Brody gets punished and and Hooper doesn't. I guess they are saying something there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:29 In the book, Hooper does get eaten and he also fucks Brody's wife. Yeah, he fucks Brody's wife and Brody has a lot. Brody has a lot of debts in the book. Okay. This was a thing people are talking about like what adaptation versus book you prefer. And they're like, oh, just the book is awful. You're rooting for the shark.
Starting point is 01:25:47 Yeah. Oh, wow. Do you also, do you consider Doe Boys an exploration of the two annoying types of man? 100%. But I think that fucking people's wives would make some of them happy. So I don't know how we can even, I don't know how that equates into this whole thing. Well, if there's agreements and everything. school ahead of time, you know, certain people.
Starting point is 01:26:09 All that. I just got a text from Grimmis. From Grimmis. Wow. Not from Andrew Grimmis. From Grimmis, friend of the show? He just sent me a picture of the season. He said, you were asking, so I did this for you.
Starting point is 01:26:21 New crispy strips with Caesar sauce is out right now. I did this for you? You, like he's abbreviation, just using the letter, you were asking, so I did this for you. New crispy or McChispy or McChryspy. B strips with Caesar sauces out right now. He's taunting you for not having the Caesar. Why does Grimmis sound like the Zodiac? Why does he do weird stuff like use just the letter you?
Starting point is 01:26:47 It's a good question. You were asking for this. He always texts like that. That's how he always texts. That's also, I know, I have, don't ask me how, but I know that that is also how Cory Feldman texts. Oh, man. To all the grades.
Starting point is 01:26:59 Hey, a birthday boy alumni. Oh, that's true. He was on the show. Yeah, yeah. Very nice when I met him. Grimmis or Corey? Grimus. You met all your heroes.
Starting point is 01:27:10 Dana Carvey, Grimmis, all the good things. IFC almost was like, can we recast Mitch? Grimus. Grimis has dates available. This guy's testing on here. Then he had a bunch of McDonald-land commitments, so you were saying. Imagine how much bigger the show people would know the birthday boy show if it was. It's a name that cuts through, too.
Starting point is 01:27:29 You had a lot of mics and a lot of daves and common names. With Grimis, you remember. I'm a big fan of Grimmis, but I think they're over. I think they're over using them a little bit. Yeah, to use them as the extent, like the exclusive marketing tool now. Yeah. Yeah. They, when they did the Grimmish shake, we were talking about the photos they took of that.
Starting point is 01:27:54 That was good. Like when he was by the car and it was very 80s, that's good. But then when he's just like advertising the FIFA cups, like, eh. It's not as good. They've gone too far. And it's also, it's too, like that's a little crass. He should be texting you just to say hi. This is all, he's just trying to sell me.
Starting point is 01:28:11 Yeah, that was in, remember that style guide we talked about? You know, Ronald is never telling you come to McDonald's. You want me to read some other texts from him? France or Spain? No neutral answers, except me because I'm mainly here for the free FIFA World Cup Collectible Cup when you spend $7 in the McDonald's app today only. I have a thought. We watched a lot of McDonald's.
Starting point is 01:28:33 Donald Land ads in preparation for this. And in my head, Grimmis mostly talks like, Duh, hey Ronald, should we go check out the cave? Like, he doesn't know those words. I feel like they're not using the same. Okay, so this is when they did the K-pop demon hunters tie in. You up? The Saja Boys' breakfast meal just dropped.
Starting point is 01:28:55 It's time to waky, wiki. That's horny. I don't like, I don't like Grimus being horny, especially. Yeah, I don't like to think about that either. I don't want that. Which characters do? But it's fun to imagine what he's got going on down there. Is it a big,
Starting point is 01:29:08 glass, a big squishy thing? The soldier boys are kind of hunky, but I don't think it's soldier boys. The soldiers does, yeah, yeah, you combine Saja boys and Sajah boys.
Starting point is 01:29:18 Oh, Sajer boys. Well, you can see how I would make that mistake. Have we been clocking how these awesome, like, concerts have been going down at SeaWorld in San Diego. What?
Starting point is 01:29:28 No. There's like, hold on. Let me, I forget who was just playing there. Sea World. I feel like Soldier Boy, though, is playing at SeaWorld's San Diego.
Starting point is 01:29:37 Oh, were you saying, is it E-40? Yes, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Everybody, yes. There was like really packed, hyped, like one of the best crowds in a long time anywhere.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Yes. Grimmis used the substance and I came out of Grimmis. That's what happened. Soldier Boy is performing. Soldier Boy in four days on Saturday we'll be performing. Oh, it was on the way,
Starting point is 01:30:01 but E40 was a big hit. Yes, and every time there's a bunch of different concerts all summer, and it's like they're all like, just like raucous fun concerts. Put this on the roof. You need a place to do, let's see if you can do a live show at Orlando SeaWorld. And there's a bunch of water between the stage and the people in the audience. Oh, it's like where dolphins jump and stuff?
Starting point is 01:30:20 Yes, yes. We should have done our Munch Madness finale there, which by the way had Skinny Grimmis was a part of it. Oh, wow. Oh, really? Skinny Grimmis. It was Ryan. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:30:32 You're, you're, You gave it away that it wasn't really skinny. We'll believe that or something. Skinny nose, skinny grimace was, he was there. By the way, I want to, we touched on Diet Coke for a second. He said it's the thing that's offered at meeting is a very Hollywood drink. Yeah. But I think that has the Trump cursed touched Diet Coke?
Starting point is 01:30:48 I feel like it's, I feel like Diet Coke is like a Coke zero has really. Well, did you see the rebrand today? Oh, no, is there, is, did they do a Diet Coke rebrand or no? They did a Coke Zero rebrand today. I saw that. They already did one. But it looks exactly. like regular Coke.
Starting point is 01:31:03 It just says zero on it. It's a totally different. But it was zero, zero sugar, and now it's another thing? No, it's the same code zero. It's just the branding is different and the can is different. That's what I'm saying. The branding is they keep tweaking it. I saw a conspiracy theory that people think that like regular Coke is just going to be like gone
Starting point is 01:31:22 at a certain point or be like a niche product. No, that's that can. So they're like transition. This is again, it's conspiracy theory. They're transitioning the regular can to be the Coke zero. Well, like in 30 years, how close will Coke Zero Sugar taste to Coke? They're probably going to get really close. It'll probably be almost the same.
Starting point is 01:31:39 It's pretty close already. Yeah. I mean, I love regular Coke, so. I, and I had one today. I was going to get, there was only Diet Coke or Coke or, no, there was no Coke Zero. You asked for Coke Zero. There was not Coke Zero. I asked for Coke zero.
Starting point is 01:31:51 And I had been a Diet Coke. I stuck by Diet Coke and then I'm on Zepound, even though I ate McDonald's Day, but I'm on Zepound. And my taste for Diet Coke went away. And I like Coke zero more now. And I feel like the rest of the world likes Coke Zero more than they liked. I feel like Diet Coke is kind of having like a bad moment. I feel like he's gone away. And Trump is maybe is a culprit potentially.
Starting point is 01:32:11 And I was just saying, I mean the Trump curse in that the one game, Nick's game he went to, they lost. And then like when he tried to help the United States and FIFA, they lost. Yeah. I'm like, just anything he touches is, you know, is bad. So I feel like maybe this is the thing. He loves Diet Coke. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:28 I go back and forth. I feel like I have a taste for the both. Dr. Pepper Zero. really taste like Dr. Batman. You ever doing one of these? I'd like a caffeine-free, free diet Coke. I'm surprised-old can, classy can. I would drink way more.
Starting point is 01:32:43 Just like Trump's Oval Office. Gold, classy. That needs a rebrand as well, I feel like. Yes, this is what it looked like this forever. Yeah, it's kind of something you would find at the bottom of a ball pit in the place. Industry-wide, I feel like they gave gold to the caffeine-free. What other? is gold.
Starting point is 01:33:03 When I was growing up, we always had sugar-free Pepsi in the house. Was that gold? Yeah, it was gold and blue and red. Wow, really? Do you remember this, Mitch? I don't remember this as much, but I did a lot more caffeine-free diet, caffeine-free Coke. We did the caffeine-free Coke heavies, which I also would have, like, a certain taste
Starting point is 01:33:22 than that I liked. Yes. Here you go. Yeah, you're right. It's like the gold Pepsi cans. Like our favorite character, gold member. Did you see what Mike Meyer? My first in and said, I love gold.
Starting point is 01:33:35 Austin Powers Ford. Austin Powers 4, yeah. How is how? I don't know. He did. He did say that. I'm excited. I'll be there, of course.
Starting point is 01:33:43 Have you seen the Verizon commercials with all of them? Certainly I have. You just warming up for the movie. Yeah, he's stretching his legs. Those are my new number one. I rank the movie. Verizon ads, then number one, then number two. I love guru above all of it.
Starting point is 01:33:57 our beloved Big Mac climber like so much at the source of why we have nostalgia for a certain era of I'm not kidding when I say that being in one of those is one of my first memories ever I believe it it's such like Being in a bright place Yeah and specifically
Starting point is 01:34:16 Yeah or being like below it Or maybe being not brave enough to go up in there But an old I remember like It was like an after church situation And church like deadening and boring But then after everybody's there in their nice church clothes and we're running around, like the bliss of that is legit one of my first memories and wanting to be like, oh, the older kids up there. I should find. I need to be brave too.
Starting point is 01:34:38 Yeah, yeah. So, you know, so high, I think, do we regard this thing. And yet, yeah, it was like, it was the culprit of why things changed their lawsuits, plenty due to Officer Big Mac. McDonald's paid at one point a $4 million fine for failing to report that hundreds of children suffered injured. on the Big Mac climber. That was the main, although maybe even second from,
Starting point is 01:35:04 like, I guess the big bad of the old school playland injuries was something called the tug and turn. The tug and turn, which says there's something suggestive about it.
Starting point is 01:35:17 I'm not sure where and how. But I think it's the Mayor McChese item, like I'm looking at kind of a carousel thing. His big head is on the top and yeah you spin it around you tug it and it turns yeah scrap metal based uh carous you don't see that a lot because yeah when we were kids it was like oh you would get on it and you'd run really fast and get it go fast and then the maniac kids would throw their bodies off it they would
Starting point is 01:35:47 hurl themselves all that well this thing was apparently this was the absolute worst they like like made, like, this is what made the government start investigating McDonald's on a higher level, was that, okay, they hadn't been reporting the Big Mac stuff, but what else is going on? And this thing was just the beast, 120 claims paid out to it. There was a severed finger dislocated elbow concussion, several broken bones, so much stuff going on. A severed finger from the tug and turn. And then this is what's crazy is that they acted. McDonald's officials and a playground manufacturer developed a safety device that would fix what
Starting point is 01:36:23 whatever was severing the fingers, but they didn't order that it be installed. It caused money to get it. So 800 tug and turns never got the thing. So the severings and the broken bones kept happening. And I think that brought down the entire playland. What an awful game to tug and turn. But look,
Starting point is 01:36:40 it's really awful. Nothing gold can stay is what we were learned. I mean, we're talking about Coca-Cola being replaced by Coke Zero at some point. These things have to, this is the time marches on. And you've got to lose your officer, Big Mac Dome and things like that. But we've now had this version of playplaces for a very long time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:01 And when you look up McDonald's Playplace, I don't think there's a single one that's the same as another one. They are all over the map. There are some that are still outside that are massive that look like three stories. There are some inside that look like this. There's like a safari one. It seems like everyone has their own like blank, not blank check, but like their own license to do whatever they want with their McDonald's.
Starting point is 01:37:23 It's like little, yeah, children entering the back rooms or whatever. Each, it's a new room that's different. You never know what you're going to get. As long as they're not cleaned or hosed down or anything. Yes, yeah. Non-food areas. Sanitary, yeah. There is one thing I wanted to bring up here, too.
Starting point is 01:37:39 Yes, please. I don't recall this, and maybe it's because they changed Hamburgler's image before we were of age. Yeah. But this is one of the pieces of equipment that I'm not that familiar with. I don't think we've talked about it. Hamburgler's escape hatch. Huh. I've never seen this before. It says on the back.
Starting point is 01:37:56 It says paddy wagon on the back. I do, I actually do remember this. Wow. So yeah, you would go down the slide, which was Hamburgler's escape hatch. You're being rounded up by Officer Big Mac presumably, but then the hamburger is provided away from it. It is very funny. It was like, it's a very prison theme.
Starting point is 01:38:14 It's another jail. There's a lot of. There's a lot of jail with scary faces and you're being punished and a lot of bars. It's weird that we were so. enamored. It's better that's not like Cambergler's tugging turn. I'm glad that they didn't name that out for a guy. There were,
Starting point is 01:38:31 I, did we talk about the grotesque Canberger swings where he has the very tall legs and very tall tall, long arms that the swing chains are. There isn't, yeah, I'm looking at like a diagram of one, yeah, he's, his arms just
Starting point is 01:38:47 straight out, like he's being crucified. So it's like body horror. There was a lot of body heart. Yeah, there's a lot of body heart. His body is stretching, yeah. Yeah, you'd also go inside Grimmis and the evil Grimmis and bounce and bend. Yeah, Grimmis was a villain when he first... The evil Grimmis.
Starting point is 01:39:03 He wanted to steal your mouth shakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys seen The Odyssey yet? No, yeah. There's, I won't say anything. There's Grimmis in it? Grimis, Grimis. Just what we're...
Starting point is 01:39:14 The topic we're talking about, it's reminding me of it, so you'll... Okay, we'll know what it is when we get there. But you were complaining that Matt Damon. You said, no Irish could ever do this. Those potato eaters couldn't. Leave home, you're saying? That's not historically correct. Well, they leave home, for sure.
Starting point is 01:39:33 Leaving Boston is the greatest sin, which I have, I am on my own Odyssey, basically, coming out to California. Yeah, kind of the same from Delco. Look, I went to Ithaca and I rode crew, and then I came out to California. I've been on this wild journey ever since. That's right. You all view it as an Odyssey. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:39:49 How does Odyssey stack up to Napa boys? my two favorite movies of the year. Perfect. Very, very close. I love both. I love both of them. Both, and I'll say this, both shown on IMAX screens.
Starting point is 01:40:04 Oh, yes, true. For the finest level of filmmaker. It's what you gotta do. Let me, let me do a speed round here of, we've touched on the gross stuff. Wait,
Starting point is 01:40:15 do you got something? All I was going to say is there's a picture of an officer Big Mac jail with a slide. But I don't, We didn't have that. That's interesting. And that was, I don't think, the common thing, but this is a picture of a slide coming out.
Starting point is 01:40:29 It's a little more of a payoff than just go, go be in jail and then let yourself out. Right. And then climb out the same way you came in. Yeah, yeah. It's not as fun. We're falling on top of kids as you do. Let me, the list that I'm in, there was a thread, a Reddit thread a long time ago about like here's, just tell the worst stories. McDonald's employees tell the worst stories.
Starting point is 01:40:51 of anything you encountered in a playland or a play place. And it was answered by non-employees as well. But if these are true, some of these, I guess I should apologize for not stopping you from coming. I should, the kids should not have come, you should not have come. We shouldn't have even been at risk of any of the things that I'm about to be. Okay, I'll try to do it quickly.
Starting point is 01:41:11 Okay, I remember a kid puked down the slide and I was too scared to go down the stairs thing, so I had to slide through it. Jesus. The only way out is through. My fear is stronger than my desire to not slide through puke. Let's see, I was nine. This is at the world's biggest McDonald's, which we talked about on Club Mickey 3s.
Starting point is 01:41:33 In Orlando, I was crawling around, and there was a toddler in there completely nude. It was weird, so I started looking for the way out. And when I came across this kid, this kid's fully loaded and discarded diaper in one of the two shit smeared all over. I never went into one of these again. I feel like maybe I saw shit smeared in a tube or something. I was like, I could see that happening, but I'd never found turds,
Starting point is 01:41:57 especially like, for most of us, we were there when like these playplaces were erected. So like, like, these were fresh new ballpits that we were jumping into. Yeah, and I think maybe later on I could,
Starting point is 01:42:09 I could see that. But, and also, you know what we see like a naked, Todd, like some family that was just like, we don't care if our kids are. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:42:17 our rules are different. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But the leap, that implies that, like, the kid took the diaper off. At that age, I don't think you should let the little kid be crawling up into the tubes. I don't think you should let them do that, right? Yeah. There was a mother who just, like, had the door open while she was going to the bathroom once when I was little, and that was horrible.
Starting point is 01:42:37 I was like, what the hell? I'll say no comment on. I'll save my mom for when your friends were around? I mean, never intentionally when my friends were around. Sure. but there were friends wow well
Starting point is 01:42:52 we got a little show unfortunately that reminds me how there were there were parents or mothers around in our scenario where you're gonna go
Starting point is 01:43:02 in the play place who I was worried the biggest fear was like what are they going to think when adults start climbing in there but thanks to your daughter Mike like
Starting point is 01:43:10 like she befriended the girl so that everybody was friends and thus it was not weird to say hey we're gonna jump into the play place for a second and take a picture. And so, you know, there was the, the community made it not weird. The kids were adorable the entire.
Starting point is 01:43:25 They did a great job. The ones we didn't know. And they did not shit. I'm surprised. No, no, no shit. No diapers. I thought your plan was to go at 10.30, like, when you had the run, maybe you'd had the run in the place, but you ended up there about nude.
Starting point is 01:43:38 Busy lunch hour. It occurred. Yes, we shifted. And yet it was it. There was, there was nothing. I liked the shift. Yeah. We talked about the shift yesterday.
Starting point is 01:43:45 We were going to, we were going to do breakfast there, but also, I'm I don't like McDonald's breakfast as much as I like McDonald's. See, we might have an argument about that. I do think if you get it good, like good quality. I like McDonald's breakfast. Don't get me wrong. You know what? I'm more likely to have, I think I would have a breakfast sandwich.
Starting point is 01:44:03 What would you do? What would you eat? I think some of it is a red, just basic. Bacon, egg and cheese? Yeah. Or no, an egg McMuffin. I think I would, yeah. Here's a deal.
Starting point is 01:44:10 I love an egg McMuffin, but I think that it's more likely to hurt my stomach than a big mac. Really? Interesting. Might be right. Wow. That would be maybe my fourth choice. So if I just twisted my body into a weird shape to where... I'm doing bacon, egg, and cheese or a bacon, egg, and sausage, or a McGrittle over a McMuffin.
Starting point is 01:44:29 Those are also going to hurt my stomach more than a Big Mac. This is crazy. What is Jason just said? Where a hash brown is most likely to mess you up. They just got so greasy. They can be extra greasy. That is the only McDonald's food item I've had in the last year, and I enjoyed it. We're just like McDonald's opposites.
Starting point is 01:44:47 It's strange. I mean, they're good, but they're just, yeah. We got to get you to eat the fucking big. Can we get them to eat the Big Mac before the stupid Bobbends? This is the only way it's going to happen is if we get it right now before the end of the other stuff. Scott, we don't have time for this. We don't have time. No, we got to go.
Starting point is 01:45:01 Scott, what if you get the Big Mac and do what we would do sometimes in my house? Cut it in half. I don't think I want to have. That occurred to me. I was like, I'll give somebody in this room the rest of it. I like the things you can trick you with like the tricks you pull on children. Yeah. Cut it into a star shape.
Starting point is 01:45:20 Sometimes it works on me. And he's trying to trick himself. He's trying to trick me into giving him half of a big neck. What if it's on the front of an airplane? There's only one. For whatever reason, there's only one slice of cheese on it, which is kind of weird because there's three bread, two burgers, but only one cheese. That's the one cheese.
Starting point is 01:45:41 That's a perfect sandwich. And also, I'll say this, we haven't had you guys on as a crew on the doughboys for a while. And the next time You haven't been on in a minute We did But have we done Blue Bayou Have we been all three on once?
Starting point is 01:45:52 Yeah yeah we're Yeah Which one? Blue Bayo I think this is the other issue I wasn't on that one You what? Oh no I was
Starting point is 01:45:57 Yeah what are you talking I didn't go I didn't end up going That's what it was Sorry sorry I think Wiger is afraid By five people on Mike That is the top limit
Starting point is 01:46:05 For podcast That's probably that might be Yeah So when you guys have Two guests It gets a little out of It gets out of hand Well we're gonna have to talk
Starting point is 01:46:13 To him about some stuff When he gets Officer Big Mac himself Yeah Yeah, yeah. We're going to have to break some laws, Officer Big Mac. We just had, we had three guests just recently, and he's just always nervous about, like, three. But then he also is like, I don't have to, I don't really have to do as much, which is like what I'm trying to tell him is like, that's good.
Starting point is 01:46:30 You shouldn't, like, unless for 10 years, you're going to do as much. Yeah, let the guests get sweaty. When you guys come back, which will happen soon, we need to, we need to, we need to force you to eat a big Mac. Oh, yeah. It happens. This all pays off on. That's a good idea. I'm trying to make me, it's going to make me.
Starting point is 01:46:45 It's going to make me sad. This is what I know. It's, it doesn't, I get, like, depressed. It's so weird. I can't do the podcast right after. That's going to have to be the... Can bug feed it to him? We can get Bug Main to feed it to you.
Starting point is 01:46:57 Dressed as Ronald? I honestly think you're going to... Do you believe in magic? Now do you believe in magic? As far as, like, things that hurt your stomach, I don't think... I mean, look, I'm a big fat slob that loves fast food, but, like, big Macs in my mind are, like, they're on the scale of her. hurting your stomach, I don't think it, I don't think they're that bad.
Starting point is 01:47:19 I'm just, it's just, it's just my body doesn't recognize whatever's going on at McDonald's, my body does not recognize it as food anymore. And it's a, maybe this is a me problem. No, that's, I think that's only a positive thing, but we're going to force you to eat a big whatever, regardless, okay. Do you want to start with the flay fish? I do not, no. Because they're brain food.
Starting point is 01:47:39 Those buns are extra sponges. It's like a cloud. It's like a little pillows. This is what you always say. You say that the buns are like, I've never had a pillow when I... Jason takes a nap on a flay of fish every night. No, I used to, when I was broke in my early 20s and lit would come around, they had dollar
Starting point is 01:47:57 filet of fish. I was like looted up on fletio fish on Friday. How many would you eat? Just two. Okay. I've got to read the last one. I don't have to do the entire list. Oh, sure.
Starting point is 01:48:07 Oh, yeah. Let me jump to the, uh, maybe the last two are fun. No, I'll just go right to the end. Okay. Kid vomited and perceived. to pick up fistfuls of chunks and then throw them at other children who then vomited. This is an employee. We closed the playplace for like two weeks to have the whole thing heavy duty cleaned and sterilized by a hireout company.
Starting point is 01:48:29 A woman came in and got pissed that her kids couldn't play. She yelled, I'll show you clean, ripped the hazard tape off the door, broke the lock on the door, and proceeded to put her finger down her throat and barf all over. Jesus Christ If you thought that the barf was going to stop When the kids were gone And the place was closed You thought wrong
Starting point is 01:48:53 A woman forced herself to barf In protest of cleaning the barf What That is a chilling tale They took away You couldn't smoke inside And she was just a little on edge When she found out
Starting point is 01:49:07 She could have smoked a pack of cigarettes She would not have forced herself to throw up In protest You know parliament And she could have a little She also apparently then this guy quit or the woman quit and then the last thing I heard she was trying to sue our owner
Starting point is 01:49:19 stating that the chemicals in the play place which she broke into made her so sick that she was hospitalized and that's why she vomited. Yeah. She was claiming that the vomit was due to the break and inner chemicals. Certain heavy duty industrial cleaning.
Starting point is 01:49:37 Your honor is why? Jason! No, I'm saying, no, no, no. I'm not on her she shouldn't have gone Chemicals can affect You're judging I can make you put your finger down yourself
Starting point is 01:49:54 I'm saying you need to let Like chemical you need to let that stuff sit Your Honor who among us Hasn't been driven mad by Ferexed into a chemical filled room And then that's it and not a I was on the kids side I'm just saying
Starting point is 01:50:11 I'm saying Witness Mike Mitchell to the stand. No, I'm not on her side. She went into like a toxic waste dump. The kids, now they're funny. The kid throwing puke causing other kids to you. Throwing puke is fucking vile. It's disgusting.
Starting point is 01:50:27 I don't want anything to do with it, but that's a pretty funny story. I don't believe in the death penalty and especially for children, but I think that in this one case, this kid should be put in an electric chair. All the many kids involved. There are a lot of kids in this vomit, too. Throwing puke at other kids. causing them to puke, causing a puke chain reaction. This kid. I was going to say that if it was 100 degrees outside and the sun was beating down on a play place,
Starting point is 01:50:52 I don't know what those melted plastic fumes could do to you or what it was caused to do. So I'm, and you add on the cleaning fumes that Jason was talking about. I don't know how crazy you could go. They aren't themselves anymore. I'm with you, Jason. I support this lady. All right. We salute this woman.
Starting point is 01:51:12 if there's a legal fund to be, if a Reddit listener, Emily Amol is listening, let's find out the legal defense fund of this. Start a go fund me in my name and you can donate to me and then I'll find this lady. You will take it off.
Starting point is 01:51:27 It'll provide for the travel for you to start going to McDonald's towns and has you ever say that lady? I got money for it. I put my finger down my throat. I'm going to put my finger down. I'm going to throw on the floor. Mitch, this is a bless.
Starting point is 01:51:39 Thank you for giving us so much of your day. and for entertaining our children in a way that didn't involve vomit. Mike Mitchell, you survived McMount and you concluded McMount for us. We wouldn't have had it any other way. Five Forks to your podcast, I'll say, as a child, which I did for a moment,
Starting point is 01:51:55 I was a child again today. I would give the Play Place Five Forks. As an adult, though, when my bones were hitting the plastic, I'm gonna give it like one and a half forks, I think, because it's still kind of interesting and fun, but too hot, pretty shitty. I shouldn't rank it in Forks anyway.
Starting point is 01:52:12 is your guys podcast. Tubes? Tubes. Yeah, one and a half tubes. One half tubes for the tubes. Let's exit through the play place. Is there anything you'd like to plug? Down this tube that slide?
Starting point is 01:52:25 Down the slide? Let's exit down the puke covered slide, thus sliding through the puke. Is there anything you'd like to plug? It's going to hurt. I just want to warn you guys. Did you guys ever discuss is Ronald the Mickey? Yes.
Starting point is 01:52:39 We did talk about that a little bit. I said maybe I said maybe I like Ronald more than Mickey. Because he does magic. He does, and magic like all the time, not just when he's in the Fantasia. So you love this man and you won't eat his burger? Yeah. Sorry, I'm letting him.
Starting point is 01:52:52 He just likes the content. Yes, I like the old commercials. He loves the content. I think more than us. Yeah, possibly. Yeah, yeah. That's his favorite McDonald's stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:01 Friend of the show, Andrew Grimmis, I think, said, like, you're going to end up eating more McDonald's than usual for the month. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm watching old videos. That's what I'm doing. Yeah. Do you believe in magic? stuff?
Starting point is 01:53:13 That's his stuff. That shit sucks. I'm also fine. I'm not going to go to the math for it. Now, Mac tonight. Now, Mac tonight on the... Napa boys. Check out Napa boys.
Starting point is 01:53:24 Yeah, baby. Yeah, yeah. Got to check it out. Uh-huh. Yes. No arguments to be had about it. The best film of the year next to... For me, with the Odyssey, it's my two favorite movies of the...
Starting point is 01:53:34 And also very much like the Odyssey in many ways. Yeah, yeah. Yes, they go on their own. You really go on an Odyssey. Odyssey, yeah. There's kind of a sirens. There's a lot that goes on. Many of your favorite characters from other cinematic universes.
Starting point is 01:53:48 It's true. So many, so many delights. You're great in it. And the Reddit will probably love that I promoted the bug main. All reddit's, every Reddit will love and always loves any, even just a mention of BugMaine. It's their favorite thing. You know what?
Starting point is 01:54:01 I love you guys anyways. I love you. And I love you guys too, of course. Thank you. The last episode ended with everybody saying, we're saying, I guess McDonald's did. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love all of you in this room. I love you. Redditors. I love I love ever. I love you. Ronald. You were doing a turn and tug. Maybe with a compliment, not with anything, you know. Yes. And by the chat book I co-wrote,
Starting point is 01:54:27 can we be funny why start now? We're pop culture after non-ro-old. Hell yeah. Thank you. That's awesome. I'm glad you got that to plug in. As for us, for three bonus episodes every month, pull up to the podcast. The right the second window. I think one more is come in there, we'll figure it out, you'll find all of that at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. Wow, I'm sad to see it go, but, you know, to go, you know, to lose some of our favorite stuff, but something tells me when we start talking about changes in security procedures near theme parks, we'll get the old classic juice flowing again. Here, see you soon.
Starting point is 01:55:06 This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan. Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Sillio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.

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