Podcast: The Ride - P:TR Oscar Special with Ryan Perez

Episode Date: March 10, 2023

Ryan Perez (The Tonight Show) returns to the show and we look at some of our favorite Oscar skits and songs before Hollywood's big night! Annette Funicello’s Music Career episode up at The Second Gate! Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/V24HhC8yWzQ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever! Dog! Papitelli, Ed209, TV's quark Armin Shimmerman, a frightened 22-year-old dressed as Snow White, and there's the man of the hour, Ryan Perez, who joins the boys for the first ever Oscar special on Podcast The Ride. it's a wonderful night for podcasts, podcasts, podcasts. Let's begin. The three hosts of Podcast the Ride are me, Scott Gardner, Jason Sheridan. I was driving over and I was like, is anyone going to do It's a Wonderful Night for Podcasts podcast? Should I do it? And so I'm so happy.

I wouldn't mind if you did it. You can still do it if you want. No, that's fine. No, I don't want to take the glory. Well, you can make it a wonderful night to introduce Mike Carlson. It's a wonderful night for Michael. Michael, Michael. Here he is.

What will he say? Hi, I'm here. It is a wonderful night for me. But it's really a wonderful night for the movies. That's right. Yes. Well, is it? Are we even going to talk about a single movie?

Oh, yeah. You're right. You're right. Over the course. Like, technically, I think what we're going to talk about is a lot of horrendous song and dance numbers from the late 70s to early 90s. Stuff that would have been staged at, like,

a regional theme park. And maybe isn't even good enough for that venue. Yeah. I think it's... I mean, regional, you're putting a certain spin on it, but there's a lot of things that we're going to talk about tonight that are not as good as a lot of theme parks. What a diss that is to the Waterworld.

Yeah. Waterworld was amazing. Sea Wars spectacular. Yeah. Yeah. Compared to... Some of what we'll get, although some of what we'll get although some of what we have I think is wonderful

basically what we're doing well okay so this coming Sunday as this episode is released is the Academy Awards it's Hollywood's biggest night but right now it is North Hollywood's biggest night because live to tape

from the Forever Dog Pavilion it's the first ever podcast the ride oscar special um thrilled about this and and i think a lot of what we're going to do here really we're we're it's it's going to be about looking at academy awards broadcasts over the years and trying to find the most bizarre and kitschy gaudy body body maybe moments and most importantly the most theme parky moments i would say uh in the history of the oscars and there there are a lot uh and we're we're joined by the perfect guest for this occasion a wonderful writer a film lover and a good friend who has not been on podcast the ride since the first few months of the show from his podcast with Ann Riemann, Mama Needs a Movie. It's Ryan Perez.

It's a wonderful night for guesting on a podcast. What will I say? Doesn't it feel good to get to feel like Billy? I get why he did the show, why he kicked the show off that way. It is a good way to start the show. It's a big rousing, it's kind of like a college fight song. It builds you up. Yeah, I should do it in the morning before I go out.

Do we think, will he ever get to do it again? Hmm. Ooh, interesting. Do you think we've heard the last one of these? I'll ask you this, why would he not do it again. Interesting. Do you think we've heard the last one of these? I'll ask you this. Why would he not do it again? No, I think he would. I'm just saying, will it happen? Do I think he will do it again? I think he'd fill in right now

if they called him. Sure. He's waiting for the call. Like Kimmel has COVID again or something. And he's like, come on. Well, it's his baby like Leno in The Tonight Show. He's ready to pounce on it he's hiding in a closet but i think if anything he has such respect for the for the office for the position yes i think genuinely he did say like i don't know if it's my year i don't know

if i've got it like where somebody else would just blindly say right yeah sure whenever i think he really thinks do i have something to say this year? I think he also avoids years. He had that streak in the early 90s where he did it, and then the Schindler's List year, he was like, I'm not going to do it. I don't know, maybe he already had his fill or whatever, but he purposefully sat out a year where I think it would have been tough to be super, super funny or upbeat

or whatever. The Schindler's List song would have been the most difficult job of his life. He probably tried to crack it, though, and couldn't do it. He probably thought about it, and then he was like, ah, I'll give it to Whoopi. Yeah, there's drafts of a song he was trying to work out, and they were horrendous. Yes, there were some. Valanche, I'm sure he got bruised. he was trying to work out and it would never horrendous yes there were some valance uh i'm sure he got bruised in a blanchett like uh hotel roosevelt just like a pad and a paper

or up in a pen just like what do you think it's the one it's gonna break me it's the one i can't do i think i think he i think he will do it one more time okay i i could i hope so yeah i could see them you know in a weird hostless year being like well billy's open to it and he's getting up there you know and and one more time for nostalgia you know yeah was 2012 the last time he did it the most recent time he says like i've hosted it nine times i watched watched it 2012. I think so. Moment. And even some of that was like, oh, I don't know if he'd make that joke now.

Like there was like a joke about Jonah Hill like dropping some weight and it cuts to the money ball like people and you just see he is really not happy. And fair enough because it was kind of mean spirited. It didn't really have like uh like lay off the donuts next time yeah i and then he's given he's tossing a softball he's just going out

to scorsese and he's like oh marty but that that was funny because there was just like an uninterested i'm assuming scorsese's daughter sitting next to him and she was an uninterested preteen and i'm like wait a minute, the math, is that the one that does the TikToks with him in it now? Oh, yeah, probably. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I haven't been keeping up with the crystal TikTok content.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, not crystal, Scorsese. Scorsese's daughter. Oh, right, this I've heard about. Okay, okay, gotcha. Will do post TikToks, and occasionally she'll get him to be in one. She'll like wrap his Christmas gifts in Marvel paper. Yes. Like Marvel comics. Yeah, she'll get him to be in one. She'll like wrap his Christmas gifts in Marvel paper. Yes.

Like Marvel comics. Yeah. She'll get his ass in. As usual, Marty, great sport. Great sport about it. Sure. Yeah. He probably, he acknowledges it as some new kind of form.

You know, it's like, I gotta help. Audio visual entertainment. It's funny, audio visual entertainment is content, but you know. Yeah, he's know yeah he's probably on some level appreciates it that she's a burgeoning little filmmaker, TikTok filmmaker I don't think so, I think he probably hates it

and I'm going to cancel him on Twitter next chance I get nothing I love more than holding him to the fire every three months when that comes around we're all being mean to marty today since you mentioned twitter i i have been wondering i have been thinking about the um billy crystal like song and dance openings a little bit lately because recently there was

the thing that took on the life of its own the ariana debose number at the baftas and i watched it a couple times and i i talked to jane about i'm like what it what are people talking what is the issue is this because she's out of breath it's because she kind of delivered one of the lines and she's like i think yeah it just kind of caught fire like it's just getting roasted on the internet. But you can see when it cuts to people, like the older people, like Jamie Lee Curtis is like, she gets it. Michelle Yeoh gets it. But the younger people are just like,

what the hell is this? They don't have the context of Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. What does she do? I haven't actually watched it. I'm aware that it's been roasted a little bit, but what is, what's she doing in it? I mean, the thing that really caught on was she said, was it Angela Bassett did the thing?

Angela Bassett did the thing. Yeah. Like really, truly just that one line, slightly breathless saying, Angela Bassett did the thing is now, we're obsessed with this. Everyone in the world is obsessed with this really embarrassing moment. This,

Oh my God, what an embarrassing moment. You look at, you're like, what? Like, especially if you're looking at things in the context, like I was,

I've been looking at a few musical numbers, Oscar numbers in the context of preparing for this show. And I'm like, this is, there are 9,000 moments like this in every single Oscars opening number ever. Like. Yeah, skin crawling.

There are moments, I've talked about this before on the show, this comes up in theme park shows a lot, but if I am really mortified by something that the hairs stand up on my arm, I get like, I get goosebumps, I get embarrassment goosebumps, especially the main thing i get it from is cheesiness in musical numbers yeah and it will happen uh in the next

couple hours oh yeah guaranteed i guess so maybe that's the i should watch this thing and see if it gives me it makes the hairs on my arm do anything i mean it's a little corny but i feel like award shows have always been a little corny, you know? And so I think what the reality is like, well, the thing to blame here is they probably rehearsed this once, maybe twice. And they didn't clock. Like this was an elaborate dance number.

This is an elaborate costume to get off to then run across the stage and then start rapping. It was probably like, Oh, I don't think the stage manager thought this through sure sure um and just like if anybody is complaining about this uh like maybe i just assume anyone complaining about it has not seen kevin spacey at the weird sports awards yeah oh yes yeah the lord the The laureates. I mean, if you're missing basketball shots and offending Tony Hawk,

there's no way whatever you're describing is worse. Also, Ariana DeBose did the Tonys, I think, last year and was fantastic. This is a very extremely capable musical... Musical theater pro. Musical theater performer. Yeah, given the task of like bad a bad song like what's okay yeah bad song what's new like they're all bad there's never been a good musical number

lyrics wise in an award show yeah yeah which we we will prove uh this evening as we do this for sure. Ryan, in terms of your Oscar experience, I don't want to put the term Oscar fan on you. Oh, please don't. That doesn't seem right. So I wanted to poke around what would be better than that. I don't know. I mean, it seems like you,

I feel like you have been fascinated by or engaged with the Oscars at least forever. I don't know how I don't know how you want to like calibrate your Oscar affection or otherwise. Oh, sure. Yeah, I think I mean, as a as a byproduct of really loving movies, you're always interested in the Oscars. I mean, if you like movies, at least when you're young, you have a curiosity about them. I think even as a young person, I learned very early that the Oscars don't really have a ton to do with movies. Sure, sure. Like you're not, it's not like my, your favorite ones are winning Oscars or whatever. So that whole, like the competitive element of the Oscars, I became disenchanted with like very young. But I watch them every year and watch them kind of closely every year because I think they're unfailingly, it's almost like the state of the union or something. They're almost like a,

a bellwether of the climate of the industry and the, and the political climate at the time and everything. And it's like a, it's almost, it's also like a weird game show where people are winning an award and have to like pitch themselves and the rest of their careers at you and over the course of a minute or two and so it's just a fascinating really high pressure event to watch um in terms and also just the spectacle and everything too but i think they're like i i i like the oscars in particular and award shows you know you are i i don't i don't i've never been to one i don't really care to ever go to one, but to watch them is tremendous fun.

But you can't take it on the surface. I think people watch them and they say, well, that Oscars was not entertaining. But if you watch on a surface level, they aren't entertaining. The Oscars do suck pretty much all the time. But you have to be able to read them. If you're able to read them and read what's like going on they're they're very fascinating you know oh sure it's just like

it's like one part of the text is the ceremony itself yeah everything else happening that's why the slap is like the most interesting thing because it's like it's like whoa like real like real hostility that maybe you could have guessed or sensed or whatever suddenly broke through and it became like a real thing you know well and you had to fill in the backstory like not all of the information was there on the stage yeah because when it happened it was like that joke caused that we all had to learn that she i assume i had to learn that she had alopecia i don't track every move of jada pinkett smith and I don't think Chris Rock does either so like okay that

wait and he made some jokes that she was offended by years prior okay oh and Will Smith is out of his goddamn mind okay that's also important well the legitimacy of the moment was in question too there was a big debate raging of was it real or not I had that thought

I definitely had that thought we were all watching it the four of us were all together. We all processed the slap. Jane, I feel like, called it as real immediately. Mike, you also did. I was a real truther the whole time.

And I was on the fence. I watch fake combat sports regularly. Well, that's what, yeah, we were trying to figure out if it was kayfabe. But then the sound got real fucked up. Like, when the sound got fucked up i feel like that's when i yeah that muddied the entire the like the the slap itself i feel like

still could have like felt like a bit potentially especially if you didn't hear the sound of it which was like very raw and uh clearly injured him uh uh but then like once it cut to that shot once it cut to the the screaming was where like oh this would not be happening in a bit i don't think it would have been more fun after that yeah if it was a bit it would have been like a fun thing at the end there yeah because you know i'm an envelope truther i think i oh right this would come up yeah and i and i and no one has told me that i have no actual foundational belief in this but i do believe that kimmel known for his pranks occasionally staged some kind of prank or whatever with producers probably did arrange something that went awry and the response was bad and they've not really

admitted to it that's okay i don't have and't have, and I have no reason to believe this just beyond my own thinking of it. So I was already in the mindset of like, oh, they're going to try it again. What if, is this Will Smith thing another envelope thing, which is fake in my mind? Do you have a full theory that like they sent Warren Beatty out there with the wrong envelope and just like hung him out to dry? I think Warren Beatty's probably with the wrong envelope and just hung him out to dry? I think Warren Beatty's probably in on it. Oh, yeah? Okay. And I think there's probably

a very small handful of people that are in. If this is... Right, right. I'm just wondering what your theory is. I base it just on the idea that I've watched 20 years or more than that worth of Oscars. This has never happened.

There's never been an envelope mix-up in the entire history of the awards. And it happens to happen during Best Picture on a year when semi-prankster Jimmy Kimmel was hosted. been a envelope mix-up in the entire history of the awards and it happens to happen during best picture on a year when when semi-prankster jimmy kimmel was like everyone's like it and the only reason it's not come out is because the initial response was not positive if the initial response was wow that was super fun then but the initial response was no moonlight an important american film was robbed its chance, its proper chance.

Those are bad optics for sure. Yeah, kind of the more bubblegum movie. Like they're sort of different films, so you can't – like some are making songs in the show that's list here. It's kind of weird. Yes, but I think that was the reason was like, oh, this movie should have had its own moment, and instead the Moonlight people had to share the stage. Oh, my God.

I think it backfired. I think it was a prank that backfired. This is some conspiracy stuff I'm spreading on your show. Yeah, this is like Alex Jones stuff. Hey, come on, guys. One of the chances that the envelope could make it out to the stage. Ah! Well, thank you for presenting your your theories uh um i i what other questions did i

have for you about about this oh oh in terms of like your when you like growing up and watching the oscar do you was there one that you recall as being like that you were you kind of like came to like this one where like oh, I like watching this. It feels like your initial idea of what a classic Oscar telecast is. Yeah, truly the best Oscars and the best awards show I've ever seen, period, is Billy Crystal in 1992. So this would have been for the movies of 91. And this is the year that he did.

He came out as Hannibal Lecter. Yes. And he did a medley. It was the second time he'd done the medley, but he did it. It was like just a fun medley. It was the Jack Palance pushups. And it was the best joke. And they've since recounted this, him and Valancian people have recounted this enough to where I don't like it anymore.

But at the time, it was very funny where Hal Roach gets up and he introduces Hal Roach who's the great silent film director and Hal Roach like gives a speech where he can't he gives it off mic so the whole thing and then Billy Crystal's response is that was appropriate since Hal began his career in silent film and that brings us and so when I saw that as a kid i was like wow this is a real it was a genuinely entertaining show i mean i know everybody has like conflicted thoughts about billy crystal now but like he hosted that and that's and when ellen degeneres hosted the first um emmys after 9-11 were like genuinely really great hosting jobs like i can point to it's that and maybe like when john waters there's been like a when john waters did the independent spirit awards like there's a

handful of like hosting jobs where you're like well those were really good but that one was like a really good show 92 and that's exactly my answer too and especially and i was of the right age and being like a disney kid as we all were that's the year of beauty and the beast so it's all those songs so they're big songs which has like almost immediately stopped being the case like i don't i can't remember when a popular song won the it was even in competition oh yeah for they're all like weird it's almost sometimes it's almost like they don't do the category. But that year, it's like huge songs, Silence of the Lambs, every movie is huge.

Did something from Beauty and the Beast win best song? I think Beauty and the Beast. But it was three of the five were from Beauty and the Beast. It was always, and then the Disney ones won, I feel like. The Disney ballads. Yes, which always upset me as a kid. Because you like the more fun ones. I wanted Under the Sea to win.

I wanted Be Our Guest to win. Did Under the Sea win? It may have won. I think it might have. But from then on, it was always. Kiss the Girl wasn't enough of a. Wait, no, or was it, or did Party or War, I don't know. But like Hakuna Matata didn't win.

Hakuna Matata didn't win. No, no. Circle of Life probably. Or Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Jason, look at us. Can You Feel the Love Tonight. That's what it was. I'm looking up Little Mermaid.

I can only do one at a time. You know what's a funny one is that Colors of the Wind won over You've Got a Friend in Me. The Randy Newman ones are really spotty. Oh, interesting. Where it's like less popular Randy Newman ones won. But in general, looking at clips of the last 20, 25 years,

I think Randy Newman has performed every year since. You always have. Did Randy Newman win for Michael or something? Yeah, probably. Oh, here, Jordan's got it. That's under the sea winning. With Dudley Moore and Paula Abdul presenting. What a pair.

Original score and original song. So it got two. But I think the ballads from then on were winning. Kiss the Girl was nominated. Sure. It's a fun one. Kiss the Girl. Morgan Freeman's Kiss the Girl.

That should have been nominated. The original Alex Cross adventure. One of the great snopes. Before Tyler Perry took over the role. Is that what that is, really? Tyler Perry played Alex. That's Kiss the Girl, it's the same thing.

It's the same book series. Kiss the Girl, Long Came a Spider. Oh. And Alex Cross. Alex Cross, yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Okay, so in terms of, let's just start diving in here.

And I'm excited to have you for this, Ryan, also, because I feel like you are a cinephile. You're a fan of high art, and we tend to gravitate to the lowest gutter. Yeah, we tend to- A waterless toilet full of art. I like the toilet. I like it all.

Ryan likes the toilet. I like it all. I like the toilet. But that's where these things, I think, really square off on the Oscar stage, and especially did. We're going to be so 80s-centric here, I feel. And I'm going to start there with one. I couldn't not do this one. And this might already answer the question, what's the most theme park-y thing that ever happened on the Oscars? And for this, I go to 1988. Jordan, I believe the file is Pee-wee 1. Do you guys know this offhand?

Can you picture Pee-wee Herman's Oscar appearance? I think I've seen this, yeah. Okay. Yeah, this is like, I mean, this is like designed to get five-year-olds in and watching it for the rest of their lives. It's so crazy. Oh, wait, I'm sorry.

Stop it for a second. The context here is that Pee Wee Herman is presenting an award, but a PA has come on stage and whispered in his ear that there is a giant robot that is making his way to the theater and which and he says yeah I'm so sure and then goes about his business and then then this happens It's Ed 209 for the listeners. Oh! Oh, my God. Oh. At 209 is now shooting, and Pee-wee is flying up into the rafters. Pee-wee can fly is what we're learning. At 209 is, by the way, open fire on the audience of the Oscars. Yeah, he's pointed more at them than at Pee-wee.

And either way, he's hitting people in the balcony. Yeah, no, this is a mass shooting. This is more deadly of an event than in RoboCop, than in the conference room. Massive body count. The choice to make him fly in that is the fun. I mean, I like everything that happens. I think that's a great... If I saw that today, I would

eat my shorts. That's a terrific little bit. It's really fun. That's just fun for all ages. It's just good. If you want to see a little of the aftermath of Pee Wee 2, Jordan, just to see it in reverse, Robocop does appear. You'll be happy to know.

And I skip most of the extremely analog old TV mixer laser fight that occurs. It's the wimpiest laser beams you've ever seen. But it really goes and goes. And then do we have the clip? Let's see what it is. It's like it's a laser using a Johnny Carson sketch. Thanks, Robocop. All right, Pee-wee.

It's safe to continue giving the award now. Thanks, Robocop. Silence. Robocop just in the aisle. He doesn't know his exit. Pee-wee just lowers slowly. It should have been seated somewhere. It was cool if Peter Weller

would have reprised his role, though, for the little appearance. I mean... That's good. I mean, John Wick should interrupt the Oscars or something. Yeah, they should do stuff like that. You know what? We're all so concerned.

As if nominating the right movie is going to get everybody excited, then it's not going to win. What's the Top Gun Maverick nomination actually going to do in terms of, oh, there's movies people like it. What they need is Maverick crash landing in the theater, drone controls, planes racing through. I never thought, why isn't Batman nominated for Best Picture? It's nominated for visual effects or something,

and then that's when you see Batman. There is a time and place in the ceremony, as that was, for RoboCop to show up. I don't know that they do that kind of thing anymore. They should have Maverick crash land in the theater and then Tom Hanks' Colonel Tom Parker should try to...

He'll put on a hell of a show and he should try to do all ten accents he does as one character. I did not kill it was busy. It is not true. Sing it is Santa Claus. Sing it.

This is not, why are they giving away golden statues? They have not sung Santa Claus. My pitch for a movie actually is Tar versus Colonel Tom Parker.

Maybe they could do that at the show though. It's like Star Wars. She's like conducting, like open on her conducting and then Tom, and then Colonel Tom comes out and says, at the show, though. It's like Star Wars. Oh, yeah. She's like conducting, like open on her conducting. And then Colonel Tom comes out and says, no, no, no. She will not. Tar will not conduct.

Santa Claus, you sing rocking around Christmas tree. That is what you do. He picks up the same baton. For him, it goes limp. And then he tries, I will do it myself. And then all the tubas. I love. They should. like, you know what? Well, it's clear what they have to do.

They got to get Bruce. There's only one way out of the mess. When you think about when did the Oscars start going off the cliff? I don't know exactly when he stopped working on them, but I can only, you know, he hasn't been doing it since the early 2000s. Does he have a credit on a recent, this is a good question. We've looked this up, I think, and it feels like he has it, but maybe, again, Jason, you have to look this up. When did Bruce stop?

Oh, well, I know that he, because I read an oral history of it recently. Get Bruce's information. Let's get him down here right now. We should get him on here. If you don't know also, Bruce, we should probably contextualize Bruce Valanche, the kind of like-

I don't think your audience needs a context. Yeah, okay, fine. He comes up every three episodes anyway. I just said, maybe I said it for the first time, that Ryan and I have seen Mr. Valanche perform live as the Widow Twankie. Yes, yeah.

That's true. That's true. Mike and I had a special day many years ago at Aladdin Live. And do you remember what happened at the brunch before? What news you received on your phone? Yes, it was a Sunday morning that we saw Aladdin's Winter Wish. And right before we went in, I remember I looked at my phone and Peter O'Toole had just died.

It wasn't just a text that said he is risen. No. It was a Sunday morning. No, no. It wasn't that. Well, and, you know, if we're addressing tales of this nature, I think I've told you, Ryan, the tale of you meeting Wallace Shawn has been told on the show more times than I could possibly count Wallace Shawn has been told on the show more times

than I could possibly count. This has been, you've been a presence in the show ever since five years ago when you did it by this story being told over and over. I think it's where five timers came from. Five timers for us, Ryan, are not people who've been on the show five times.

It's stories that have been told five times. A lot of times when I'm saying something, I'm like, oh, this is one of the things that makes Scott mad. Like if I bring up Brian Setzer, if i bring up green day or something i know for sure like i'm in the middle of it but i'm like well you know i'm telling about above yeah i wandered right into retelling the wallace sean andre gregory story and he was like you've

told this before and i went what i thought it was like i had no idea i had told it this many times so it's just something i say also because some of these these things are also told in our day-to-day life. Sure. Oh, sure. It might not be five-timers on the show, but I have heard them in person so many times. I had such a good time seeing you go up to them and talk to them. And then the whole experience. It was his birthday.

It was his birthday. We all sang happy birthday. We all sang. You thought about getting a piece of cake, but I think you decided not to. Oh, okay. Which would have probably been fine, honestly. We all should have gotten cake. It was like a group of 20 people.

We were just like standing there to say hello to them or something. Yeah. And we realized we were in the middle of a birthday celebration for Andre Gregory. Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, that would have been a good, I don't know why we didn't do that. I know. I feel a little regretful of it.

I liked that little, that piece of it where a detail that was important to you, Mike, and that you've told every time it's been told, Ryan thought about getting a piece of cake and then didn't. Or something that didn't register with Ryan himself. Well, he... And then, here's what makes it a great story. Yeah, but it does make it a great story, though. It does really, the idea that I thought about eating cake and didn't really kicks it up a notch.

I think it does. Well, I guess it indicates your respect for these men such that you would not want to respect them. Wait, so what do you find? What is the best part of the story to you? It was how excited I was? Well, I think it was that we were in such a- Well, first of all, it's W Wallace Shawn being part of it at all because

another thing that's happened on the show you have argued to no one about I've watched you go like and if you don't think Wallace Shawn is great then fuck you like you've argued to no into an invisible party about like I think I have you want to tell me Wallace Shawn isn't great in Haunted Mansion he's always great well I was yelling at Jason in that. Yeah, yeah. I've read a few. During lockdown, I read a few Wallace Shawn books. So I started to appreciate Mike's stories a little more. It's gone to a different level, especially that play that you all saw.

This is what you'd say about a grandparent. Now I have the context to know that they've lived in a general pop. I should roll my eyes at his stories. I used to think grand pop stories were boring and bland. But then I realized the wisdom he was trying to impart. I'll take it, honestly. I'll answer the question. I jumped on the question.

What is the crucial part of the story for you? Well, okay. I don't want to rehash the whole thing because there's so much stuff I loved about that situation, including that Armin Shimmerman was sitting behind us who played Quark on Deep Space Nine. That part makes it come up a lot. And I peed next to him. And then at the middle of this, again, I've said this on the show before, but in the middle at intermission, Armin stood up and he goes,

Huh, I thought it was over. Well, I guess we'll just see what happens next. Which is so funny. He forgot how a play works. He forgot how to play. He clearly was done. It was a long first half. Quark doesn't know how plays work.

Mike pees with Quark. I peed with Quark, which is so fun. I love him. He's one of the best characters. He's great. All of that was fun. It was fun seeing it in a small theater uh and then we were just ended up in this little like celebration and i was just delighted by the

whole situation it was a good um i haven't been back to the red cat in covet times but that at that same theater i don't think it was this performance it was a different performance i saw philip uh baker hall oh yeah and he was on oxygen and he was in his he was this is he died not that long ago but i also saw him there attending a play once and and said hello to him okay he was very gracious as well to say hi to him yeah yeah that's cool yeah that's a that's a little secret i think that's kind of a if you want to see like really great actors go see plays at the red cat you'll see because a very small i mean small theater it's a small theater but they do like plays by the worcester group and like it's like you'll see sometimes stars

on stage but a lot of times respected actors in the audience watching right wow where's the right what city is rickhead in it's like downtown it's by the disney concert hall uh it's like uh okay it's uh uh connected to that big structure oh gotcha and then maybe you'll get to eat cake or think about eating cake with one of the actors if you're lucky you will get to consider cake

you get to look at cake and then I think you came back and said Andre Gregor was telling somebody like you must come up to the cabin sometime

that's a good quote that's a good quote yeah I think you did a good impression a much better you did a good impression on much better you did a very good impression of him

is my memory as well anyway okay let me throw this out into what we were talking about before that sidetrack Ryan what you said

about like you knew that the silly stuff would happen in the effects categories this isn't the funniest clip in the world but I wonder

if you'll remember it this to me is the epitome of what you're talking about. With those ones, they feel technical, but it's about the big movies that everybody likes, and we have a little fun with these. Can we show the clip, Elijah?

Does anyone remember this offhand? I don't think I know this. Young Elijah Wood. Oh, wow. What's that sound? Oh! Oh! It's a T-Rex!

Poked it out from... That's a big build. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You can kind of feel the flatness. I think this, you know, facade style. They only did one side of it. But it's huge.

Yeah. You got the context when little elijah wood walked up little anna paquin little anna paquin who won might have won that no well that award was going to jurassic park i'm so but uh win that year one uh for the piano yeah yeah big year for kids big big year for kids big year for kids um i i that's fun That's Elijah He would have been coming off the good son probably With old Mac I think I was surprised that wasn't Mac

I assume Mac had his Oscar He must have done I'm sure Mac had an Oscar moment at some point I Well Jason do you have I feel like you got a list brewing or something. Do you want to throw in something? I had a few.

If you, do you want to jump to 98? Sure. Yes. Okay, let's jump to 1998. This is, I looked this up. This was the year the most viewers, like the highest rated. So 50 million people tuned in because this is the titanic yeah

this is titanic here um uh and i i think one thing i think about the oscars you know you mentioned the state of the union ryan this time of year it's like state of state of the union super bowl oscars and like i feel like i just always kind of related that of like, these are live events. Everyone's going to watch these sorts of things. All equally exciting. All equally exciting. Well, look, the Oscars was most exciting to me. But when it comes down to viewers,

the Super Bowl in 98 had 90 million viewers and the Oscars had 50 million. And so I think that used to be the norm, a little bit like 50%. Now it's like negative 12 million. The Super Bowl has held steady and gone up to like 110, 120 million a few times. And the Oscars last year, I think, was 16 million. Wow.

It's grimmer and grimmer. Yeah. Ryan, we watched the train station Oscars together. Which turned out it's grimmer and grimmer. I mean, yeah. As with, you know, Ryan, we watched the train station Oscars, which turned out to be a train wreck Oscars. Not because of the movie either. That wasn't that year.

No, that was the most, then you hear the numbers and you're like, of course no one watched. Why would anyone? I don't, I think it's hard to come back. Honestly, after,

after union station, it's hard to come back. You can't keep them. You can't get them back on the farm after you've been to union station with the with the glenclose twerking and that was the fun part that was the only bit of that was the only that was like the slice of cake they considered having yeah good as it got uh but but better times 98 um yeah uh jordan if you can uh pull up the first clip so just to set everyone up uh billy crystal comes out on a big titanic he's like up by the ceiling of course and then the ship sinks but while sinking it gently lowers him to the stage so it kind of serves uh two purposes and there's just like two song moments

in this that really stuck out to me i think the oscars too used were a good demonstration of like when the culture was much more of like a monoculture with like here's the reference point and everyone in the crowd knows the what they're referencing. Oddly, the only thing that's gotten us back to that is the slap. Yeah, it is. The thing at the Oscars is the only thing everyone was talking about. But back then... My films nominated

for Best Picture are... ... ... ... ............ 20 year old show that's good that's so clean people like it

yeah and then People like it. Some other films deserve a break like My Giant in three weeks. My Giant in three weeks. That's the room for My Giant. I've got to tip my hat to Gillian. The skipper too. That's Jimmy Cameron.

The propeller guy. And the eye. The movie star. The professor and Marianne. Here on Oscars Big Nine. Going well. so like that it's it is clean it's very clean everyone gets it it works there's a classic like and then you just leave the last one in the list it's just the actual one that's exactly what i would do in anything similar to this. It's funny to not change it. And his wife with the ice. Ice. It's really funny.

It's really slick. Well, this is a question maybe. Because I've been grappling with this in my own head. Where do we all fall in terms of do we like the Billy Crystal medleys? Where do you put it in terms of ironic like or just like? Do you even know? That's a good question. Yeah.

Because we loved it. I mean, we would look forward to it every year. Loved it as a kid. Everyone got it. I think, you know, it's a few crossovers with theme parks for me where it's like, oh, I know the reference before I saw the thing. Like, I knew this joke about gilligan's island at titanic before i ever saw titanic uh i have to give credit for i have to say that these like mark shaman

arrangements are good like they're they're like they flow in a way like as whether or not these are good or bad like lyrically they're corny or whatever they they're not always like the most inspired but like i do like listening to them as like you know and he pulls them off music and it utilizes the full orchestra that's always there and sounds great and it makes it feel like elevate it doesn't feel like some talk show bit because there's a grandeur right to the orchestra to the stage and soon to have a theme park credit to his name because he was one of the people behind the Rogers musical from Hawkeye that they're putting in California Adventure. Mark Shaman is?

Yeah. Wow. Okay. I mean, he's good. Yeah, everything his name is on is good. Ryan, I don't know if it was last year or when you were doing this, but you were ranking the Billy Crystal songs on Instagram which was a delight and to see ones

that you particularly responded to do you recall what was number one I don't offhand number one was the full Monty was in the top it might have been like number three or two and it wasn't really ranked by the best it was more ranked by what like was lodged in my head it was more like a subjective rating of like, of a line. Like if I think about it sometimes while I'm driving or something, but number one was the year it was the, he had done all the movies for 1990. Uh,

it was a 93. So it would have been the movies in 92. So it's unforgiven few good men or whatever. So he sings unforgiven. If it's to the line, it's to the music of unforgettable unforgiven a few good men sent of a woman the crying game and a few good men uh that's the list of all five nominees now before i slide down on my knees mr saturday night Mr. Saturday Night.

And everyone's like, which he was plugging at the time. Yeah. And there was talk that maybe he would, the film would be up for Oscar. I think David Pamer did get an Oscar nomination for it. Oh, really?

But, but, but yeah. And so he was, it was this thing. It was just so raw. Yeah. Him wanting that, you know, a joke, but also like I made it. It's kind of like my giant, you know, kind of like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very bald, I guess. The one that, I think I told you this when you were posting those. The one that's lodged in my head forever. And I couldn't even remember what movie it was for but it was i it was george clooney for sure and i mean now i know what it is but this the song i just remembered was george is cracking up because his wife is shacking up george is cracking up because his wife is shacking up and then he's got a comatose and i don't remember it from there

yes yeah that's the probably the Descendants, I imagine. The Descendants. Yes, I think. And I had to look... Only in a list later did I realize that's some Hawaiian hit, like pop song. That's like a Don Ho kind of song. Oh, it's a Hawaiian tie-in. Or it's too like a traditional Hawaiian song.

I don't know exactly, but I couldn't place the melody on... Isn't it in the Tiki Room, I think, that song? Dun-ka-dun-ka-dun-ka-dun-ka-dun-ka. At the end? Maybe. I think so. I don't know the name of it, but it's, I think, in a lot of stuff. This brings me to a question that I had,

and I wonder if we could just put on our Bruce hats. Do we think that we could think of a plausible Billy Crystal song for this year's nominees? And I say that, and I don't think we, we don't have to flesh out the whole thing. Just be the vaguest idea of it. And with this, I don't mean to make it tougher to tie your hands behind your backs, but I remind you of the Billy Crystal rules, which are, preferably a song from before 1959. And if possible, with the Jonah Hill one being the exception, a song that is nice to the people involved,

about how much he likes them. That's just bonus points. At this point, what you got to do is just like, and I don't know a lot of these songs, but maybe we can work backwards from the Cole Porter catalog or a song from a musical. Yes, you have to know the great American song. Rodgers and Hammerstein.

That would help. One of my favorite things I know he did once. I think if we can think of just a song from a musical at all i think we could go backwards yes um well okay let's just take a title what's a title from this year right what are the movies and then and then rhyme it with something from well tar has oh oh there we go okay oh my god oh all quiet on the western front okay uh women talking okay um i um oh here let me well let me admit guys like since i came in with this in the pocket i did i i did this this thought exercise on the couch with aaron a little while ago and she said oh you know

what about like a boogie woogie bugle boy and And I thought for a second, and then I think, wait, can I remember it? I think it was, uh, Oh, it's, uh,

they're the fuss and feud and fable men's of Phoenix AZ. All right. Now you're talking. But don't let me take fable men's off the table. sure. Yeah. Uh, you know,

tar, there's a lot of rhyme schemes for everything everywhere all at once. Um, I think, I think there's probably something in like, you're the top, sure, yeah. You know, Tar, there's a lot of rhyme schemes for everything everywhere all at once. I think there's probably something in, like, you're the top gun maverick. You're the top, I think that's Cole Porter. And whatever, we're going to give you no static. You know. And you're the top, Tom. We love you, Tom.

Yes, we genuinely love you, Tom. You would only agree to be here if we didn't make any Apatow-style jokes about you. I actually thought of one for Top Gun Maverick as well, which is, okay, it was, start cheering for Cruz. Tom's flying the planes. He wants to bring the theaters back. Maverick, Maverick. I should have texted you guys.

We could have come in. I cheated here. Is there one for, like, does anything? Oh, go ahead, Jason. I think I have one for Avatar, but it's a little bit of a journey. Sure. Like the film itself. I like the journey.

Again, Cole Porter, Song de Lovely. It's delightful. It's delicious. It's the Navi. I think that's great. That's right on. What about like the lonely goat from Sound of Music, like the mighty Ikron?

The mighty Ikron, yeah. Assuming, I mean, if you use that phrase. Like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ikron. And you can switch it to the, what's the other animal? Well, wait, the whale is the, Pyakon is what, why am I not remembering this? Tolkoon.

Oh, the Tolkoon, yeah. Yeah, well, you could go through all the Eboo and Tolkien. That's how you switch it up. I would also propose a Gershwin, like someone to watch over Navi. Does anything scan with Oklahoma? Yeah, maybe. Well, you could just do, I mean, you would think maybe he would do Elvis with an Elvis song.

I think that would be the cheat. Yeah, like. Right. You know. I'm trying to think. But you could also just like, oh, it's Elvis. It's the most fun movie of the year. That's what he wanted.

Butler is great. But look at Tom Hanks' waist. Okay, how about this? And I hate to break the rules of this. You can. But the song is over 20 years old. And it is another thing I say sometimes to annoy Scott. This Everclear song, Everything to Everyone, comes into play maybe billy's daughter would you think that you're everything to everyone

all at all at once the idea that he would do that i like the idea that billy crystal like what are some of the newer songs this is when you're writing for it oh i know ever clear this is one of the hottest everybody's still talking about ever clear hottest rock and roll songs around mr crystal okay good i'll go home i'll look at it send me a tape oh listen you do what you do you go to the parallel universe you try to go everywhere uh um i I had another thought also which is that you would do

like you know it's about a conductor so you could just you could you could just go to tar tar tar tar tar tar tar

oh yeah you could do a classical well Beethoven is definitely is definitely more than older than 1959

tar tar tar tar she didn't she she's so fantastic she she she made her and now she's dead she's she's getting canceled she's getting canceled how about i mean it's not it's not that old of a song but like women talking around the sewing circle women talking talking in the, you know.

Oh, Pretty Woman. Oh, no, I think he would do early rock and roll. I think now, that's what he would bring fresh to the table for the 2020s. Yes, he'd be like, we got to have that. He's doing rock and roll now. Yes, yeah. Right, right.

I like that. Any other quick hits? Are we missing? No, we got them all on screen right now. The Banshees, that's just a weird title. You know. It's something about like Anna Sharon. Is that right?

I don't know how to say Anna Sharon. I can't think of the song, though. I feel like there's jokes. I feel like I've heard that title said multiple different ways. Yeah. Anna Sharon. Ed Sharon. Anna Sharon.

You say Anna Sharon. I sayharing. You say Innersharing, I say Innersharing. Innersharing, Innersharing. Let's call the whole flick great. That's a, all right. We put on our Bruce hats.

All right, all right. Hey, that's wonderful. Some of these, a more recent host, I always love the joke when Hugh Jackman did a musical medley, and they were just doing a weird dance,

and he said, the reader, I didn't see the reader. That was really funny. That was a great joke. Yeah, and it catches, I like when he laughed while doing it. I think Jackman was kind of, who have we liked lately? Do we like, I've liked all the Kimmel. I'm Jackman was kind of... Who have we liked lately? Do we like... I've liked all the Kimmel. I'm happy it's...

Yeah. I'm happy it's Kimmel because for the first time we will get a joke on the Oscars about the slap. Yes. All right. I like it when there's a host. That's lately what I enjoy. Controversial.

When there's any host present. Kimmel does it twice and then they go, all right, we need to lay off the whole host thing after that envelope that he did the first time but not the second. Why did hosts disappear? Now they're just back to him? Yeah. Really strange.

I was looking up some older ones because I was trying to think pre-Billy Crystal. And they were much more reserved affairs, usually Johnny Carson hosting. And he would get some lines in, but then there were some weird moments, like 1981, the day it was supposed to happen, John Hinckley Jr. shot Ronald Reagan.

And so they pushed the ceremony 24 hours. But then in a weird turn of events, they already had a pre-taped welcome from Ronald Reagan. So Johnny Carson is talking about Reagan being at a hospital room and requesting a TV so that he could watch the Oscar ceremony. And then they cut to a videotape where he's in like the West Wing

talking about the magic of the movies. And it was just very weird. The other weird- From the bottom of my intact heart. That's what, when they said, we're going to cut to a video of Mr. I was like, oh my God, is he in a emergency room? We're going to cut to him in the middle of surgery.

And just so you know, Jodie Foster didn't, she's not impressed, sir. Yeah. America, soldiers on. Mission not accomplished. But 11 years before, I found an odd segment I didn't know about where Bob Hope and Fred Astaire gave out best documentary and best documentary short. And this was purely a way to set up Bob Hope to kind of pimp Fred Astaire into doing some dancing. And this is 1970.

Fred Astaire was born in 1899. So he was 71 doing this. And he's still pretty good. But I was just like, wait, how old is he when this is happening? And the answer is he was 71. From the 1800s. Nice.

Wow. In terms of kind of questionable performances of that nature, I'm gonna head to some stuff that Ryan brought to the table. And this is this is 1983 um and the the well the first performer in in this list is liza manelli makes sense this is how they open the shows with this musical number uh ryan would you like to introduce the rest oh

yes this is this is 1983 now i actually don't know where i think this sat at the probably at the beginning of the show is where I think it does. I think so, yeah. The performers, it's a medley led by Liza Minnelli, who had done the show before. Natural, gifted. When you think of what basically Billy Crystal is parodying, to some degree, is something that Liza Minnelli would do wonderfully. Dudley Moore, who was her co-star in Arthur. Not a musical guy so much, but you know.

Joke his way through it. Richard Pryor. And Walter Matthau. And if you have the question, can those people sing? Prepare for it to be answered. Let's do Eliza Matthau Pryor. at that prayer one. A 55th year The moment of truth is here

There are thousands of craftsmen and women too Loaded with technical skills Who all do their part for the state of the art And some of them Of the 417 films do their part for the state of the art and some of them of the 417

films they made there was many a worthy try but few tonight films hey Felix and also

and if it was a little unclear how that divided up, Dudley Moore gets through his little part okay, but then he coughs and then goes to Pryor, who just doesn't, he just loses it. Yeah, yeah, he does not have it. He's trying, he doesn't seem embarrassed or anything, but he is just not. So why would you think of him to sing?

Yeah, so what i'm more uh amazed at is why did they agree like now no no one agrees to anything and they're like yeah we'll come out there and try to sing with liza minnelli like sure yeah i think a person now would be like i i like my sense of um i i mean i was starting to bring this up earlier that bruce i know that bruce valanche at least worked on the kind of notorious Anne Hathaway, James Franco Oscars. Was that 2011? I think so. I looked it up.

2010, 2011 were the last ones he was credited. Oh, wow. Okay, okay. Oh, that might have been the last one. Yeah, yeah. But rightfully so, given how it went. It seems to me from this oral history of that one that I read, Anne Hathaway was like very, very frightened and copped to it several times during the show. It was just kind of out of her wheelhouse. And she can sing, though.

And she was still and then prior, just like, yeah, sure. Like zero nurse. What I would say is like the Anne the Anne Hathaway, if that failed, that might have been a, I don't think that one failed as a failure of Anne Hathaway's hosting. If anything, she was the capable host. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I haven't gone back and rewatched it.

Who would? But, like, at the same time, it's like that probably maybe was, I don't know, there was some element. She's, if anything, she's closer to Eliza Minnelli, who she can go out and carry the whole thing, maybe. Yeah, yeah. That one, because I went and looked around for, are there clips of that for this episode?

And it's just kind of, it's just that the whole thing is off. There's no moment. That's what's wrong. Yeah, mainly that just doesn't. No, no, no. They aren't that crazy to look at. Even the oral history said it's not that one thing was really bad. It was like death by a thousand cuts.

There was like a mood in the. Yeah, I remember that. There was like a mood the whole night versus like, yeah, him doing something crazy. James Franco, I think like by the time he came out and dressed as a woman or something, there was some kind of drag thing that didn't quite play. And by then you're really not right well this is what we got this is the one idea that they agreed to um i there's one more of can we play uh math out as a matthew prior to just to get one more hit of that sweet math

i wouldn't have thought he'd be the loser of the bunch i just didn't know what he like maybe he's like an old maybe he knew how to sing, but then the answer is this. And what about tonight? Now. Now. There were 2,000 tuxes and cummerbunds waiting for people to wear. And five...

Ghost star of Hello, Dolly, by the way. Oh, right. Totally unfamiliar. Cummerbunds, the way he looks to the sky. But he's singing to a different song. Yeah. He's not on beat. Liza even tries to help.

Her line says, what do you think now? Now. Not now. Not now. Wait. But as kind of disastrous as this is, they just laughed their way through it, and it's fine, and it's all made up for by what, Ryan,

you alerted me to at the end of the clip. Can you play number three? They didn't know anybody in the audience remembered this song by the time this thing happened, which is just legit good. ...that we explain the voting procedures. So here to read the rules, here's Mr. John Machita. I know that name offhand. I know who this is.

The voting procedures work like this. All active Academy members who vote on nominations for the five pictures of the year are the nominees. Oh, the Fast Talker! Yeah! Micro Machines! That's that. You get the idea. That's just funny. He gets a huge applause at the end. Ernest Borgnine loves it. He's like, ah!

I love it! That was probably before the Micro Machines campaign ever even started. Yeah, it might have just been something he was doing for bits and talk shows or something. If campaigns are on the table, have Flo, the progressive lady, and the Geico gecko have them come out together. Like, well, we don't usually share the stage.

We don't usually share the spotlight. Well, and the guy from the Hulu pool. Yeah, please. Oh, yes, Hulu executive number four. Let's get you out there. I'd love that. Does everyone here want to host the Oscars? No.

Would you do it? Really, I'm asking you, like, as a kid, was that something you were like, I'd like to do this? As a kid, yes. Now you know it's just such a, like, trap. Like, nobody comes out a lot. Like, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. And I think it's possible, because of Podcast the Ride, you guys could be asked.

We're on the way. It's possible. I've been trying to get us to host the Theo Awards, a theme park award, but we've been turned down just even getting free tickets to it. I think a hosting trio could be in your future, and I think take any hosting

job in the world. I think when people, like, it's amazing to me that they can't find a host for the Oscars. That is absolutely mind-boggling. Right. That there's not comedians. And I'm sure there are a ton of comedians. There has to be a small list, though, don't you think? Yeah, I think the list is too small. Yeah.

And too many people are too afraid of i don't know i guess what happened ariana debose just like one thing is going to be pulled out and their career is going to be over i guess right you know what i think i think they ain't i i bet what we don't know about is that i wonder if they aim way big like you always hear they want dwayne johnson and then maybe they try that for four months and then it falls apart and then they have to scramble. And then people who actually would be good at it are not available or they have to go to their third choice.

I bet they lose a lot of time pursuing. That's why Hathaway and Franco happened is that they were trying Timberlake for a while. Yeah, yeah. Because the whole idea was like, who do young people, like last time it was Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin,

which was good also. Like that's a strange calculation. Then the next year they just completely flipped. I think the next year was Billy Crystal. Like who cares? Oldest, oldest, oldest back.

Old is new. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. Well, I have a clip from a way that the ceremonies used to begin, which was everyone arriving while a narrator names who you're seeing. I loved those. And I forgot how much I liked them. And then I discovered a moment where I'm like,

well, this is a thing we bring up on the show. We like the old Disney parades or the old clips where it's like the fifth Mickey. It's not the A or B voice for Mickey. It's like the D or E voice they got. Oh, yeah, yeah. And this is kind of just one of those unscripted uh moments jordan if you can bring up uh it's labeled 1996 um and this is uh they're loading people in the interviewer who

is going so fast is oprah winfrey this is not current like last 10 20 years oprah where she is sitting down and thoughtfully, slowly conducting. She is rapid fire going like, who are you? What are you wearing? What are you here for? You know, that sort of thing. And she is talking to Nicole Kidman and her then husband. Well, she's just talking to Nicole Kidman.

Okay. Hello, this is Kate. How are you? To die for. That's what you look like tonight. Just to die for. How do you? You're presenting something? Yes.

Oh my goodness. Introducing babe. How do you feel about that? For the listener, Tom Cruise is back here saying nothing. Of course you do. Yeah. I love this choice of colors. It hasn't been acknowledged.

Oh, thank you. So Tom Cruise is standing there. He's got the biggest Cheshire grin on his face the whole time. At one moment, he had turned to a bandstand and waved. And you just hear dozens of people scream in excitement because one of the most famous women in the world has waved to them. By the way, he has not been named on camera.

Yeah, no acknowledgement. But my favorite thing is that a very relatable, very human moment, he doesn't know where to stand. It's like he doesn't know where to go. Well, they organize these now these things are little sets and you have marks and everything yeah it's a whole like yeah geography is like they know exactly where they're moving people and and in some of the other footage you

can see people arrive and suddenly like jump and wave to someone in the press crowd in a very uh elegant gown and it's joan it's clearly joan rivers uh but that you she used to be in the press crowd in a very uh elegant gown and it's joan it's clearly joan rivers uh but that you she used to be like the big exciting uh uh part of the pre-show coverage but this footage was so funny because oprah winfrey is just talking to nicole kidman and clearly wants to talk to nicole kidman but it's just an odd run of questions like you're here to present babe she's like dissing he i mean it's a kind of a diss what she's there's no way she doesn't recognize tom cruz and then the very last question is i i have never seen you in that color like she's like commenting on the purple dress is this why tom would later go on a jump on her couch in an angry

manner you know what i'm gonna get your attention i'm getting it now on a on this show mama needs a movie that i that i do we recently talked about interview with a vampire with alan mcleod oh yeah and i was reminded of this is this is babe this is 95 in 94 tom cruise went on oprah and oprah was like I don't like this movie. Oh, wow. She showed the movie to some, whatever, they screened the movie for her audience or whatever and she was like, I didn't like the movie. I walked out and prayed with my friends in the lobby. Really?

Whoa. And so I think that might be awkwardness. Oh, interesting. This is all tied together now for me. Oh, okay. This is key info. They later made up with the couch, but I think that might be post-interview

with a vampire awkwardness. Wow. That's really fascinating. Jeez. Wow. That adds another level to it. I just could not get over him just walking right through between the two of them,

and then it's just a big grin after he waves, and everyone just seems's just a big grin after he waves and uh everyone just breaking the mic a little uncomfortable like everyone um oprah and oprah is not doing a good job that thing where you talk into the mic and then hold it over to someone you're not supposed to go like so funny yeah yeah like this is so beneath oprah to be doing. But all three of them are such long-time professionals. It's just a weird hiccup. It's just a weird moment. Sure. Wow.

Wow. Well, it was saved by the presence of Martin Landau, which drove the audience. Martin Landau and then Jimmy Smith. That brought the ratings up. The stern face of Martin Landau. Oh, my goodness. There's a little more Landau to come, potentially.

We'll see if you can spot a landau uh later um let me get to another thing that ryan that you brought in which let's let's go back to crystal and to jump around and this this will take us to the the 2004 uh oscars because we we've talked about the opening numbers but we have not talked about the the opening films where he which felt very revolutionary at the time that he's inserting himself into all the that was like a new in his bag of tricks uh that was a new trick i feel like in the titanic year which made that one big too that he's in titanic he's talking to the guy who drops off at the top. And I feel like the first few were great, but then this one, 2004, were getting a little dicey, I feel.

Yeah, and they'll continue to be dicey after that. But yeah, this was, I was searching for, in particular, 2000, because that was the year that he did an American Beauty parody. And that's scrubbed. That's really, good luck finding that one. But this is 2003.

This was, the movie's in 2003, so Lord of the Rings was the big movie and they kind of cut it, I think, more in a trailer form. This is probably, this is directed by Troy Miller of Dakota Pictures up the street. Yeah, this is, I think this is from the ceremony that year. I cut it down to what I feel like are the crucial moments. The moments that hold up the best.

So here's the highlights of the 2004 opening. I mustn't grow. You must. They are counting on you. That's funny. I haven't been to the Oscars since they were taken over by the evil wizards. You mean the orcs? No, the Weinsteins. He's blind in one eye.

But I ain't deaf, babe. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Some 2004 blackface. Now we're in Lord of the Rings. Michael Moore shows up to be crushed. Yeah, that'll show him for wanting war to end.

Give me some advice. Light him up, Bill. And Jack hands the magic sunglasses. The magical sunglasses. Light him up. This has several endings, I feel. Light him up. And then he puts him on.

Kill him, baby. Is it kill him, baby? Kill him, baby. Light him up, And then he puts him on. Kill him, baby. Is it kill him, baby? Kill him, baby. Light him up, kill him, baby. Keep it all in, Troy. I'm going to give you a lot of options. Keep them all in. Keep it all in.

Keep that steadicam spinning and spinning. What's that contraption you're riding around on there? It looks pretty cool. That's a segue. Interesting. This is full disclosure. I'm not going to say anything here. But there's a friend of ours,

a friend of all of ours, who worked on this exact opening. Who might be listening and worked on this and is flashing to a lot of memories. And I am not in a position to tell their stories, but I just want to broadcast this message that if you ever want to tell the stories about the 2004 opening with Sammy Davis Jr.

and the magical sunglasses, we would hope that you would consider us to be the venue. Should you decide to go public? And you're not talking about Jack Nicholson. Well, he's all right, fine. He started listening after we showed all those pictures. Come with him and the hoagie in the boat. Get with him and the hoagie.

That happened last week. He really likes that. He's like, I love the attention, guys. Thanks for remembering your brothers. Finally, nobody's building me up these days. Light them up, good boys. Jack Nicholson, primo seats at the 2012 Oscars and those 1970 Fred Astaire Oscars. Always.

That's the day. We love it. Jack's in the front. It is fun when Jack's in the front. It is exciting. I won't lie. He ain't going to be in the front no more. The days are over.

Yeah, that's true. Mike, do you want to throw anything in? Oh, yeah. oh yeah you brought up so both these clips i think so what i like about the oscars especially at this era of the oscars like 80s ish is that it's uh hollywood has changed but the oscars hasn't that's something that kind of is over now but there's still obviously the music. They want musical. They want some schmaltz. But I feel like when I'm watching some old clips from the 80s, I go, what the hell? Like, this guy's alive?

Like, I didn't know. And then especially when they're talking about certain movies. Let's start with Jordan, the file named Liberace. This is 1980. This is 1982. And I was watching the 1982 Oscars. We are so far into punk. We're like beyond punk now. Well, right.

So much has changed culturally. Right. And movies have changed. Prince is happening and we're still doing punk is over, metal is in it. Yeah. I've read, you know,

I've read movies change in 1969. I've read the book, Easy Rider, Raging Bull, whatever. Yes, the Rebels. I've read the book. Rebels of the Back of the Celluloid Backlot. It's 82, and Liberace is going to play a medley of all of the scores of the movies of the year.

Light them up, Lib. So let's play this. Just a little bit of it, just because I like seeing Liberace at the Oscars. So he's played a little intro. He does a little joke up here. The theme from Rads. Thank you very much. Well, I've done my part for motion

pictures. I've stopped making them. That joke goes pretty well. He means it. He really means it. He's gone back to writing books. His name is Irving Wallace. No applause.

Although I've stopped making movies, I've never stopped attending them. In fact, ladies and gentlemen, I'm enchanted by the music. I think it's consistently the most original music written today.

Mr. Conte, will you help me remind everyone of this year's live comedy, beginning with Chariots of Fire. Well, that's cool. I mean, it's cool. I like it. And I don't have the full...

You'll listen a little bit of this. But then... Liberace is an awesome piano player. It's nice to hear him doing this. This is good. It's cool to hear him doing this. This is good. It's cool. This is good. And then he does all the...

This is the year On Golden Pond is nominated. Iconic score. So I don't know. From On Golden Pond. I mean, this rules. I love this. The titular song by Joe Strummer. So you can stop playing it.

Here's some of Stop Making Sense. I mean, I love it. But yeah, again, it's just like, it's funny because he's old school Hollywood, but it's 82 and yeah. Can I do one from 82? Yes. Since we're talking about that. This is Ryan, actually.

And another thing that I just think is good, this is from, oh, what did I call it? Did I call it Sheena Easton? This is a, for your eyes only, this is a performance of the Bond song, For Your Eyes Only. One of my favorite. Oh, yeah. That might be, could be my favorite Bond song. And they, Ryan, as you put it, this is a rare occasion. This is just the Oscars turn into a stunt show.

This is close to a stunt show as I've ever seen it be. There's a little bit of song, but then things get real stunty. I wonder who produced it. Oh, yeah. And you've got the real henchman, by the way. I don't know. I am not a Bond enough person. Oh, yeah.

The old Richard Keel. Richard Keel. He's the big tall guy. What a gown. Sheena. We're getting disco-y here in 82. A car pulls up on stage. A car pulls on a stage.

Is it Bond? Who is it? Well, it's a dancer. He does a kick. He's a pirouette. Maybe that. I guess it's later you find out it's Bond, but he's in an orange jumpsuit. It's weird.

He stabs someone with a sword. I think Bond is trusting swords. Lasers. That's the same laser from RoboCop. RoboCop. Oh, my God. Guitar wailing. I mean.

James Bond. It looks like the universal, the Conan the Barbarian stunt show. Oh, yeah. It looks so much like that. Whoever produced 82, I got to hand it to them. I like both of these things. When was the last time a fake punch was thrown at the Oscars? I don't know. We know the real one.

I know we know the real one, but I just want to know, when was the last time a worked punch? Yeah, they don't pull punches. I think they did stop doing this kind of thing. I think everyone would like it. We're going to just do like the Avengers are going to fight. The Avengers should fight. None of them are famous.

It's all just generic dancers. Yeah, it's just dancers. Dancers are just like pretending to fight with big high kicks. Just get the Rockettes to dress as the Avengers and have them high kick each other like that. People would like it. Did you have another one, Mike? Yeah, let me go quickly.

It's, I believe, 1987, and I was looking at some lists for things. I was just looking up bad Oscar moments. In the intro to 1987, which I had to do a little hunt for, and I found it pretty easily uh uh again sort of the juxtaposition of the movies that came out versus wanting to do a big hollywood number of you know like something that would be in the 40s or something so i'll let this unfold there's a lot of elements that i enjoy but you'll be able to tell i think pretty quickly

which ones I like. So there's the dancers. Star Trek 4. And they're dancing on the movies that came out this year, and they're appearing behind him. So you have to listen to some of these. The fly is in the background. As they're dancing, like it's an old school.

So listen to the – they'll start singing soon. Hannah and her sisters is in the background as they're dancing like it's an old school. Listen to those start singing soon. Hannah and her sisters is in the back. Children. Children. Hannah and her sisters. Platoon. Platoon is there. Salvador.

Salvador. Salvador. Okay, so they're like shimmy. These dancers are like, they're dressed like newsies or something, and they're shimmying, and they're big high kicks, and we love Platoon. So here we go. Here comes Dom DeLuise. Yeah. We got the show right here.

Here we go Alright He's not the only one Telly Savalas Wow Sloppy Telly. I cleaned up for the big night. Pat Morita.

Yeah. Wow. Does it seem a bit under rehearsed? Yeah. This is a guys and dolls reference. This mcdowell singing a regular song yeah famously got blue velvet and salvador Four. I want some more. El Salvador. And I am.

This is Thursday. We got the show right here. This is 1987. This isn't 1965. This is 1987. Decades after the Brando Sinatra guys and dolls. Yeah. So maybe there's a revival. Blue Velvet came out this year.

The only thing wrong with this is you shouldn't open with a showstopper. That's a... How do you top it? Where do you go from there? How do you top it? We should have thought of that for the Billy Crystal. He would do that. You got your Western front.

It's all quiet here. And the Germans running in with diarrhea. She's tar. She's tar. That is a song that you can if you look on YouTube, you can find a million high school productions

of Guys and Dolls. And that is an opening number. Sounds like a great search to do. You're in like a great search to do no no i was not in guys guys and dolls ever unfortunately but that is very fun that people have cut compilations together or you can just find that element of the song because it's watching 15 year olds in ill-fitting suits try to do the three people singing slightly different things at once. Yeah, and they... It's very similar to

Dog Deluise. We gotta get telly. It's 1987. Who do we gotta see? You know what's funny? Also, I was looking up... I found that clip and then for some reason a browser closed and then I was searching for it and I found the like when the hosts come out and i go well cheryl ladd and

william shatner hosted the oscars this year and then i went oh wait this is a golden globes show oh okay i was like when did william shatner host the oscars oh okay golden globes got it he was in the set i mean that goes to show you though though what Billy Crystal that's a really good context of what of the Billy Crystal thing though it's like yes of what it was reactionary of what it was reacting against like and so when Billy Crystal showed up and did a what was essentially an ironical version of that it was like a funny parody version like you forget that context and he I recently re-watched the first one or the second one and he he did couch it as like you know i know you don't want one of these big musical numbers yeah it's so annoying he did that for like three years and i think like when younger people

look at it they're like oh that's corny he's doing like a medley and like no he's doing a parody of what was persistent on the oscars for many years you have no idea how bad it was yeah right maybe takes us into the big ones that are remaining oh yeah are from 1989 and are we good to move on to to 89 because we we need to spend a little time in 89. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I have something for the end, but I'll save it for the end. Okay, sure. So, 89, well, so, I mean, I don't need to say the whole context. One thing that happened in 89,

the context is this is not the worst thing that happened, although that's up for debate because, Ryan, you put this on your list. I'm honored to have apparently exposed you to this one. You didn know this one first yeah um and your argument was this is the listeners might know where this is heading like what are they saving as the worst thing that ever happened on the oscars you might know uh but this is a solid candidate you said maybe this is worse this is more skin crawling to you this is this is most oozy, like you talk about your hair standing up. This is the hair standing up for me thing I've ever seen on any award show.

Yeah, maybe ever. Yeah, this is, the clip is called Stars of Tomorrow. And this happened deep into the show. And these people are introduced as maybe the future winners of Academy Awards. The clip is called Stars of Tomorrow, and this happened deep into the show. And these people are introduced as maybe the future winners of Academy Awards. The sequence starts with Blair Underwood and Holly Robinson, who by now we know for the many Oscars they've won, as have everyone in this sequence. It actually is a high percentage. You know, you can't, but there are a lot of people in this who've done great things.

It's not bad for, yeah. Yeah, it could be a much lower number. You maybe could have forgotten about all of these people. But wait, was there one more? Oh, the only other piece of context. I've tried to be a little sparing with these clips and these ins and outs, but this one I'm like, I think you have to just sit in it and deal with it. Maybe we'll cut it off. And if you can't take any more.

Okay, we'll tap out. Yes, please. Are you going to show the intro? Yeah. Well, not Bob and Lucille. I don't have that. That's a little bit important. Walter Matthau comes out and introduces Bob Hope and Lucille Ball who are about as legendary

as any one is at that time. And then they introduce this. They get an intro. A legend introduces two legends who then set up this. Let's hit it. Someday, I'll be the one who walks up here accepting the prize. And he's at a podium where you would accept the Oscar. I don't know who Holly Robinson is.

She can sing. Is she Holly Robinson Pete now? Oh, okay. And I forget. Sitcoms, big TV shows. I don't know. And now there's dozens more.

Like Jolie Fisher later from Ellen. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. you Oh man Gee but it's great to be an Oscar winner Hey He's a little spry guy

Keith Coogan Jackie Coogan's grandson Oh wow I just realized that He's from Adventures in Babysitting Who I do like Yeah a lot of these people Tyrone Power Jr.

It's not the people themselves It's this number Ricky Lake Ricky Lake Sure Yeah, a lot of these people. Tyrone Power Jr. It's not the people themselves. It's this number. Ricky Lake. Ricky Lake, sure. Okay. Bag, jacket, and hat. I think that's Melora Harden. Melora Harden, yeah.

Who's that busting those Michael Jackson moves? Is it Michael? Oh, Corey. Still wearing that jacket. All right, I Is it Michael? Oh. Oh, Corey. Still wearing that jacket. All right, I made it up through that. I mean, Blair Underwood and Melora Harden have worked quite a bit. Huge crew, yeah.

But this is such a weird pressure to put on someone. It's nothing to do with the actors. Yeah, yeah. And it's everything to do with who put it together. Like, what jokers put this song together? Well, according to Lucille Ball at the beginning, it's Marvin Hamlisch, then the winner of several Oscars. What did Marvin Hamlisch do?

Oh, like... Big ones. The Way We Were. The Way We Were, yeah. Fred Ebb wrote the lyrics, the lyricist of Cabaret in Chicago, and the song New York, New York mentioned earlier. Well, I'll tell you.

Major cred to these people. What I will say about this number is that it's not a good song. You can tell literally by the progression of notes and the idea that Ricky Lake and Julie Fisher are on a stage singing a song that's like or like that's bad that's not a good i'm sorry marvin that's not rat packers should not be singing that that that style of like and hollywood tonight will find me here on the stage. It's just not a... Skin-crawling moment for me was in that clip when Ricky Lake says the word statuette-er. I'm a statuette-er.

I hate things like that, like made-up words in Broadway songs. Oh, that is so lame. Also, this is like, there's a lot of nepotism on that stage. Let's face it. Tyrone Power Jr. is there. Eddie Fisher's daughter is there. So-and-so's daughter is there. Two Eddie Fisher daughters.

Two Eddie Fisher daughters are there. It's like if the New York Times Nepo article were, instead of an article, it was a stage show. That's what that is. I'm going to make the best show you've ever sam levinson here a little scream when the idol premieres on hbo i'll take it over from amy simonson here we go you know what it's not a fix it's not a fix i have well it is a fit maybe it is a fix if you just take everyone's name away

from it it's not gonna make the song sound better but then it doesn't put like the pressure on everyone to get the uh not when they don't get the oscar in 30 years you know what i'm saying looks like a stage of young performers that's right everyone's sort of on the same level but you don't know who the fuck they are. I know, but then they're just sort of nameless actors and you're saying, oh, look at this, the young actor. It's not putting any pressure on the specific performers. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying it might be a little bit better and less presumptuous that we're just ordaining these people. Maybe that's what the audience saw. Maybe the audience was like,

who are these talented singers and dancers? Wow. So it was appropriate for the people sitting in the theater. Yes, but at home, being introduced to talent, I would have fired my agent if I was like, later on, like Patrick Dempsey shows it, like Christian Slater is in it.

Like, it's a wild thing to watch at full length, but it's such an embarrassing way to be presented i feel yeah yeah um well never stopped cory feldman from doing anything he takes the lead and he was also famous yeah he was not even the star of a bunch of movies yeah maybe it's just that he said yes and that like maybe they were getting desperate and he's like can I do my moves yeah fine fine whatever

let's just get a little bit of like I don't think Marvin Hamlisch wrote that into the performance Corey bust some of your moves

Corey we can't bring out the angels but you can bust your moves you've missed my stars of tomorrow too like minutes passed this is so long

like a bunch I skipped a bunch and then it gets to this cory feldman does michael jackson dances but not as good we're good i think you're going to footloose? No. It's just no. It's generic. Keith Coogan slides and wiggles. This is splits too, though. Say what?

Say what? Say what? They're holding, waiting for some cue that didn't happen. Say what? Say what? Say what? Say what? This is one more of these. I don't think I want to see it.

I think I'm done with Stars of Tomorrow. The sword fight. Christian Slater's in a sword. All right, Jordan's making us. Yes. You wouldn't want to be seen doing this. Do you want to be seen watching it? I don't want to be seen watching it. Then this guy walks to a podium.

It takes a long time. Don't know who he is. And the Oscar goes to... Run back, run back, run back. Everyone up the stairs. As fast as you can. Hurt yourselves. They'd all spill to the bottom of the stage.

That would be the best thing that ever happened. They should do a salute to the movies that may win in 10 years. Oh, yeah. Try to guess? Yeah, just guess the names. Finian's Loaf. What's that? Guessing titles?

You'll be on the floor when I'm the star of Godfather 4. Yeah, it's all sequels. When I'm taking home the, for playing Rain Man again. I'm taking home the gold for, when I play Rain Man Jr. Rain Man rising. Definitely be great. Amazingly, this is not the worst or longest musical number involving a low brother in this year's academy awards because now we go to the inevitable where else could it be and they've had a lot of

chances to do something worse they've done things that are more notorious and stranger and slappy, but they have not done anything this crappy. And it is, of course, the 1989 Snow White sequence. Have we all had experience with this? I mean, you can't not run into it. I've watched all of it. I feel like mostly in montages I've seen. I don't know if I've ever seen a big chunk of it. Which one? I'm talking about like it's War and Peace. I've seen I don't know if I've ever seen like a big chunk of it which one

I'm talking about like it's like it's War and Peace I've seen it all well I've seen I've seen I've seen

I've seen it's been in the queue of crap I studied it in college my thesis was on it it's in college I was showing you know the big ones

this one the Bellator movies and this one I gotta get around to I'm waiting to show it to my child let's just let's just you know the big ones this one uh the bellatar movies and this one i gotta get around it i'm waiting to show it to my child um let's just let's just dive right in and i we can do more context but let's just see what the viewers saw uh which is first we're out so we're in the lobby we're outside the oscar theater and then army archered a reference no one's had to know for the last 30 years. But was out, to their credit, was well known as like he's the guy that, I don't even know what he did now.

Like introduced people? Like he greeted you on the way? He was like a variety writer? He was a variety writer. When I first moved to L.A., the first celebrity that I first saw when I was living in Westwood, going to UCLA, was Armie Archer. Really? Wow. I saw him at a screen. Westwood going to UCLA was Armie Archer. Really? I went to the movies, I saw Nurse Betty like three months

after it came out and Armie Archer was like a row behind me. Wow, like Armin Shimmerman was. It actually distracted me. I was like, Armie Archer, does that happen with me and Armin and Andre? I'm sitting behind us. If I cough weird, he might put it into a review.

Oh, no. Oh, what if I end up a star? So he's in the lobby of the theater, and he introduces the special guest who is Snow White. Let's do the first one. And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's one of the great legends of Hollywood. She's back with us tonight, Miss Snow White.

Good evening. Oh, good evening, Mr. Archer. It is so exciting to be here tonight. I'm a little late, though. Can you tell me how to get into the theater? That's easy, Snow. Just follow the Hollywood stars. Follow the Hollywood stars?

Oh, follow the Hollywood stars. A couple of star costumes walked by her, and then the stage is full of them. This is what would be at, like, a high school fashion show. 89. 89. Wait, did I leave in, is this just stars? Did I leave in her talk?

I guess I don't have her... Then Snow White comes in and walks through the front row, like the first couple rows where the big stars are, and she sings to this. She sings an amended version of I Only Have Eyes For You. Yeah, bothering the... Glenn Close. She wasn't ready to tw for You. Yeah, bothering like the Glenn Close.

She wasn't ready to twerk yet. Yes, exactly. She was nervous back then. Even the twerking, she was freaking out because she wasn't sure if someone was going to appear at the ceremony and start singing to her. She's trying to distract everyone. It's a panic move.

She's singing to Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Hanks and Michelle Pfeiffer. And according to this woman's recollection, Eileen Bowman, the actress, who is a complete unknown. She's never done anything on television. This is her first time on television we're watching. And it's this. And she has to go face-to-face

with all the biggest stars in the world. And she was very nervous, but she got to the stage, and she saw her friends who were the dancers who were the stars, and she thought, maybe I will have some fun. And then she tried to take Michelle Pfeiffer's hand, who gave her this look like, get the fuck away from me, and refused the hand, and she realized, uh-oh, this is not going to work, all Pfeiffer's hand who gave her this look like get the fuck away from me and did refuse to the

hand and she realized oh this is not going to work and I have 11 minutes to go yeah uh uh she goes down the aisle there is one person who is very sweet and nice to her and that is Martin Landau like just holds her hand and oh which is in keeping with things we've recently heard about martin landale i'll see you later i'll see you after the show you have time to write your number down i know you're doing a thing but um anyway maybe now i just that's that's what the the viewer got without context so the viewer is baffled. Why is Snow White, who is this? Why is it Disney Snow White, but who is playing? It's like at a theme park where who would this,

you don't know who the actress, generic person is playing here. The greater context here is that this is the year that Alan Carr produced. 70s, 80s mega producer. Did a lot of musicals, did Grease. Great. Grease.

Did this Village People movie that was a massive bomb at the time, Can't Stop the Music. I've been in Alan Carr's home. What? Really? Formerly owned by Alan Carr because I've been in Brett Ratner's home. Oh, jeez. He bought the home owned by Alan Carr, has an underground disco. Wow.

He's filled it with all his underground disco has Wow a lot of with all right he is like Clockwork Orange prop yes he has yeah he has a collection of props including the phallus from Clockwork Orange he says it was real actually now I'm doubting that not anything about it yeah he might he might have been lying anyways that was a weird thing of its own because because Ratner was almost pretty thought he could produce. I think at the time when I saw him in his home, he was trying to get Eddie Murphy to host SNL.

Oh. He had that ability? He was enough of the Murphy whisperer? He thought he was like a Murphy whisperer, and so he was trying to get Eddie Murphy to host. I can talk about this now because I hope to never see Brett Ratner again. Let's all hold hands through the podcast space. That's kind of the inspiration for It Follows.

You're just in the distance seeing fuzzy Brett Ratner following around. You're like, oh, I hope I don't see that again. But yeah, he was like, I can get Eddie to, you know, Eddie's going to host SNL for a tower heist or whatever they had done. And then that didn't happen and then so when years later it was like rumored or they were it was basically set up i was like this isn't gonna happen like this the chances of this happening anyway but it was all alan carr's house and it was wow wow yeah so he'd been then his oscars fell apart so he it was the curse of car i think

exactly but there's a car curse and not christine you don't know um so that's alan carr but he's oh well you know that's good content yeah yeah uh um he's he's deep in party mode here he was like a he was a party guy i think he was a manager host a lot of part worked with hugh hefner uh seemingly so he in addition to being a big producer of stage and screen uh all everybody knew him from parties so it just made sense that and and he in taking over the oscars he actually said he what he said was i don't want it to be one of these boring stodgy affairs like we've been having lately meaning all the ones we've just been watching the year before was robocop and 209 and peewee that was a boring year yeah alan carr's mind yeah so he wants to yeah the fascist robot showed up

no thanks let's party come on we need glamour we need elegance and that's what i'm gonna do and we need the longest musical number ever attempted on live television it go yeah okay we've all watched the entire i mean it's almost like if we really wanted to punish ourselves we could just watch it and do commentary but do we really want to we're adults we have been a while lives we've been talking for a while yes yeah uh uh no i'm not suggesting it believe but that's really the way to experience the pain but but i kind of i out. I think it's also what's bad about it is that, like, there are, as we have seen almost every year, the musical number is bad. But what's unique about this Alan Carr produced thing, which I really do think the burden falls on him. I don't think it's Snow White.

I don't think it's Rob Lowe. I don't think it's Eileen, what's her name? Bowman. Bowman. Bowman. She was a young, probably talented person. I don't think it's Vincent Price and Coral Brown. Vincent Price and Coral Brown. It's certainly not Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.

I'll tell you that much. They just sit and enjoy the show. By the way, probably the last appearance any of those people ever made on the Oscar stage. Oh, yeah, sure. The last round of applause they got was in this thing merv griffin also comes into there we're doing a whole singing number um but i think what it is it's it's that you sit just when you think it's gonna end it goes for another three minutes and just when you think it's gonna end it goes for another three minutes and just when you think

it's gonna get it goes for another three minutes. There are definitely movements of it. It's like a suite. It's like a musical suite. It's a Russian nesting doll. Yeah. It really is that there's like sets within sets within sets, which now we're doomed to do as we describe it here at the end of the episode. But the, okay, you said some of the things that happen.

She makes some stars very uncomfortable and then is reminiscing about times in old Hollywood. And the reason any of this is happening is because Alan Carr saw a show called Beach Blanket Babylon in San Francisco, big campy show that was this. It was like a tribute to the 40s and Snow White takes you through different 40s scenes. And he's like, I'm doing that.

We're opening the Oscars with that. Which none of none of us know that like this is the viewer is like has no sense of what the viewer i was trying to really contextual i was trying to put myself in the mind of a 1989 viewer the viewer thinks this is disney they know snow white from one thing which is disney and this seems like a disnification of the oscars before before Disney has had its upswing. This is early 1989. Little Mermaid doesn't come out until the end of

1989. So Disney's still in the doldrums of like, Disney's not cool. Shrek came out, but not Shrek because that's not Disney, but now if there was an Encanto opening or something, people would go, oh, it's cool. This is, we're not... Big hit song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not the, Snow White is no longer cool at this moment. No, and it's clearly, it is so much the Disney Snow White. The voice, yeah. Even though the character and the voice, absolutely. And apparently. And the costume is from a Hollywood Boulevard rental place because it's a little off.

They put rhinestones on a Hollywood Boulevard rental costume. So she's recalling her Hollywood glory days. And then suddenly the curtain opens and you're at the Coconut Grove. And the Ambassador Ballroom. And then, of course, who else would be there? The MC, but Merv Griffin. Of course.

And he's, of course, singing I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts. We know he did that song. That's not just a song you faintly recall from preschool or something. 1989. Merv Griffin. How many of those locations

were standing? How many of those located? The Coconut Grove and the Ambassador. The ambassador? Yeah. Merv Griffiths notably. So he's a talk show host. Talk show host, producer, produced all the game shows.

And he was considered kind of like a lame guy, like a schmaltzy guy in the 70s. Yeah. Let alone 89. But a nice guy. But still, 89. What? Why? Yeah.

Singing? Do people even know? It has no association with movies that I am aware of. By the way, when I first watched this, I was delighted to see him. I'm not saying I wasn't, but I was confused. I know that Mike Carlson was delighted to see Merv Grimm. But I don't think Alan Carr did it for me 30 years later. Unless it is. Yeah, it 30 years later. Unless it is.

Yeah, it's a tenant. Unless it's a simulation, which we've been talking about lately. We'll have to ask Mr. Slap. By the way, Ambassador Hotel, notorious for where Robert Kennedy was killed. Ah, okay. That's what that is. Yeah, still not the worst thing that's happened. Not demolished until 2005.

Yikes. Yeah, so very much what you're saying. You're like, okay, so what now? Who now? Merv Griffith, huh? And then he introduces a bunch of people, all the stars. Like, all right, Alice Faye. I'm going to be honest.

I don't know who Alice Faye is. Dorothy Lamour, I kind of know that name. You have heard of her. Sid Charisse is in there. Okay. I don't really know who Sid Charisse is, I'm going to be honest. Somebody on our Patreon was suggesting this for Club 3, but we brought it up to

the big stage, and in their suggestion they said it's a bunch of introductions of movie stars only Jason would know. Yeah, Sid Charisse probably the most Sid Charisse has a big dance number in singing in the rain okay and the the apocryphal story is that like oh well she her legs were famously insured for a million dollars oh and she's the one who's like okay in this she does like a big kick and a dancer yeah she did a lot of kicks yeah okay and she still got it but most of people, as they start rehearsing this thing,

and Alan Carr has it in his head, and all of the greatest stars will be there, but he's picturing them 30 years ago. Merv Griffin at his height. Okay, if this were 60s Merv Griffin, no problem. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It would have been cooking.

It would have been cooking. The audience would have been turned on. We've got Merv Griffin centuries. If you've got Vincent Price. Howard Hughes is here. Vincent Price hot off Dr. Goldfoot in the bikini machine. Now we're talking. But 89 Price?

No way. So they have to start like, okay, maybe we can't have all of these people be in the musical number. Maybe we say their names and they wave politely. They stand up from a table and leave. Assuming that they're able to do that. Well, you need the Coconut Grove audience. I mean, celebrities have to be enjoying the Merv Griffin performance. Right.

Rogers, Dale, Vincent Price is crazy. Sorry, is it Vincent Price's wife? Who is it? Well, there's a clip that I think it's on a Gilbert Gottfried podcast where Michael McKeon is doing, they're doing dueling prices. And they both have very good prices. And Michael McKeon points out that Vincent Price always, Vincent Price, I don't know if this is wrong to say, probably a gay gentleman, but was married to this woman, Coral Brown. And the speculation would be that he'd always say her full name and title.

And the actress, married to the actress Coral Brown. He would say it like that. So yes, I believe they were married. The woman, the female actress. Right. It's her sexual as a mind. Right. So yeah, I don't know a movie or anything she's in.

All I know her is from this clip. So this is a little like, can my wife come along on the... That was, I believe, his speculation. Michael McKeon. I'm not going to get in trouble here. Who is your wife again, Vincent? Yeah, who's your-

Coral Brown. That's what Michael McKeon says. I don't know for sure. But yes, so all the biggest stars. To get Vincent Price, you got to bring Coral Brown. Right. Not without Coral. We've talked about Vincent Price, you've got to bring Coral Brown. Right. Without Coral. We've talked about Vincent Price being on the Horror Hall of Fame Awards,

which are after this. But Coral Brown would not be with him. I'm not sure when she died. But he would go somewhere without Coral is really what I'm saying, I think, as long as he was being honored in some way. Yeah, for the Horror Hall of Fame, he went to his backyard. That's right, yes. He was via.

Yes, you're right. I think he went in person one year. Oh, okay. He was there one year, yeah. But yes, his backyard for one of them. Produced by Alan Carr. I think that's what he had to do after this. He took over the Horror Hall of Fame.

But, hey, they realized it can't just be a bunch of old fogies. We got to get some young blood in this number. And that is when Snow White meets her blind date. Let's go to Snow White, too. Meet your blind date, Rob Lowe. This is so wild. I just watched it a couple hours ago again. She's processing him being part of it.

Beyond what's about to happen. Hmm. No. No. used to work a lot for Walt Disney starring in cartoons every night and day but you said goodbye now the performance here left the dwarves behind came to town to stay lead lights keep on burning

cameras keep on turning the way she chooses to sing this. But you said goodbye. It's so. Roll me the TV. And then. Okay. And then. Keep the cameras rolling. Oh, man. Okay. This is a year after the thing, too.

Actually, isn't it? Well, it's a year after the thing happened, but the thing is not public. So it's about. But they don't know the camera rolling line that he ends on here. He's still in movies. He wants cameras to be rolling. I guess you're right. I just think in hindsight.

That's an often confused thing. Okay. I was confused. It was public soon after this, which was part of the curse of the sequence. About six weeks after, which in 1989 time is like six days after. Right, right. He already took such a big career hit from this and then that adds to it uh um i uh you know and if we aren't afraid of being

struck down by the doughboys curse we can talk about rob low a little bit We can't talk about it. I mean, okay. The most insane. The voice. I mean, I've thought about grubby and sleepy forever and the voice crack on it. The delivery is so...

You can't... I mean, I don't know if he ever thought he could sing. It feels like he was asked arbitrarily as with richard prior it's like doesn't matter big star he's gonna be great sure a big star can probably sing right and then he's just thrown to the wolves here yeah i mean you could talk again people can talk sing there's like you can get away with a lot yeah as long as maybe you're not doing a weird voice. Dudley Moore, I feel like, Richard Pryor following Dudley Moore

already doing the talk sing, that's unfair to Richard Pryor. You can't let everyone do the talk sing. He took it. Yeah, you gotta throw some other ringers in there. Dudley Moore is a good talk singer. Don't have three talk singers in there. Yeah, sure.

To Rob Lowe's, I think Rob Lowe can sing some. And the thing I read about this today was that Rob Lowe did this performance and then went backstage and was mortified. Or I believe Rob Lowe is on the record for telling this story. It was on some show. Yeah. He went backstage and Lucille Ball was there to comfort him and held his hand and said, I really liked her singing. A young man.

I didn't know you could sing so well. Blew a smoke in his face accidentally. Because remember, she introduced Stars of Tomorrow right at the beginning of this. She's there. She's had her own debacle for the year. By the way, that's the only universal character I want to tell me that she's proud of me more than Optimus Prime.

Oh, my dear boy. If I could go in a tiny room with Lucy and it's filled with smoke. What a singer you are. You're wonderful. You're wonderful. You're wonderful. Gary thinks you're wonderful, too.

Who's Gary? Gary Morton. Gary Morton, the new guy. The new husband. I'm not so thrilled with him, but he's nice. Michael, you're doing a great job. Were there any Arnaz children in the Stars of Tomorrow segment? Oh, I don't think so.

Maybe she didn't get the heads up. Too late? Too old, maybe. Oh, too old. They were the Stars of Tomorrow in the 60s. Yeah, in the 70s. Yeah. They were on Here's Lucy.

Here's Lucy had already happened. Yeah, yeah. They missed their chance. Yeah. He sat with Lucy for an hour. They held hands, and they talked about Hollywood, and then she passed away. Again, the car curse. She passed

away like five, six weeks later. This was her last time on television, I think. That was, oh my god. To introduce Jolie Fisher and Corey Feldman was the last time she was. Yeah, so immediately after. At this point, it might bear mentioning

that I did the show Moonbeam City for Comedy Central. Rob Lowe was the main voice on it. Ryan Perez was a writer for the show. Yeah. And you may recall that maybe I wasn't so vocal about it, or you could tell me if I was. But to me, when it went to, wow. Lucy's death date.

To me, when it went to wow to me when it went to series when i realized we're gonna have an opportunity to fill a lot of episodes with rob lowe stuff priority number one to me became we have to get him to sing being a fan of this we whatever reason we can possibly find to get this guy to sing. You, in fact, wrote an episode, a fantastic episode of the show called CopCon that is full of themes. It's a very prescient piece about police brutality and police violence. I should say so.

Check that out somewhere if you can find it. Possibly on the way up the door. You know it was on Pluto before I came over here. The Legend of Circuit Lake. Oh, there you go. Pluto TV. It's on Pluto. They do find it. Possibly on the way up the door. You know it was on Pluto before I came over here. The Legend of Circuit Lake. Oh, there you go. Pluto TV. It's on Pluto. They do air it.

Yeah, yeah. It really means a lot to me that they air it. And then you can see, well, in that one, you can see the line that you wrote, which delighted me so much. An episode that's a big tribute

to Free Jack, the Emilio Estevez song, Free Jack, that has the line, now I can free Jack into the system and jack off that dazzling element. Oh, there. And that has the line, now I can freejack into the system and jack off that dazzle nail bag. Oh, there you go.

That made me so happy. First time I saw that. But anyway, you wrote this episode. I give you entirely the credit for the weighty quality stuff in it. And I think my main contribution, my only contribution was, we should get Rob Lowe to sing a song in it.

And I believe he sings two relatively close back to back in this show. He sings like a rockabilly song? Yes, yeah. He sang at Rad's wedding. Oh, yes, yes. He sang Cop This Town and he sang Wed This Bride.

Yes. Which is all on Spotify. I forgot that it was on, look up Cop This this town i'm very proud i don't know how much singing and rob lowe had done since this performance uh if he sang on parks and rec i don't know it i there's not a lot of rob lowe singing out there i made it a point we're gonna get some time with this guy i make he's singing a song a song which to tie a bunch of things together was the song song that we put in just because

I thought Brian Setzer was stupid. That's the song. I'm going to have him sing a dumb, bad, Brian Setzer-y song. Did it cross your mind, though, of like, you think you do roll it on a river? Oh, we did. Yeah.

I guess I wanted to get him into a new bad genre a new bad like songs that dad bands would play um and just about that experience recording it i will say that is the number one most fun thing i got to do making the show making him sing that song was so much fun however i was a little bit disappointed he was not a worse singer. Oh, yeah. I kind of thought I was going to get the grumpy and sleepy. Yes. But he's a perfectly capable dad-type singer, I thought. I bet he was collapsing under the pressure of, because again, 42 million people are watching. I wonder what the direction was, because I feel like the direction was like, you're really into her.

That felt like that's where he's coming from. Yes, I mean, there's a shot later on where it's like a downbeat moment, and it's like a zoom in on him. He's looking at her. Yes, yes. And it's like he's playing, like, in love. Like, this is like a dramatic moment in the middle of a. Yes, in lust, I would say. In lust.

Yes. It was so white. Yes. And I feel like it's very i mean the whole thing it's still not as weird as when travolta grabbed adina menzel's face yeah in that oscars that's the most scary moment i think of any oscars yeah they thought they were gonna fix it with that all right this adele dazeem thing was weird let's make it right let's get them together and then like like. Can I touch your face?

Like. Just like. Touching. I want to touch your face. You're so wickedly delightful. He's like squeezing her skull. Wonderful. Those are the most wonderful nostrils I've ever put my fingers in.

It's such a mafia like threatening. Yeah. That's. Anyway. put my fingers in it's such a mafia like threatening yeah that's uh um anyway uh uh that is not the last of the the rob singing because then things kick into gear again you think this could have been the end of the entire what we watched a little bit ago could have been the end of that would be two that could be two whole separate numbers already yeah yeah but snow white three but Snow White 3 yeah I don't think he's bad he sounds better here

I'll say than before well they also gave him a thing that is not what he rockabilly was his genre I figure it out we figure it out. Yeah, yeah. We figured it out. Rolling, rolling, keep the cameras rolling. Yeah, he's fat.

Yeah. Oh, boy. But really, in that part, it's less him and more these, the animated mama. Yeah. What do we do? Is there any, was it just meant to be like this will be just the only appreciated tongue-in-cheek or are they thinking people are going to really respond to this message of keeping cameras rolling hollywood's been rolling for years and we're not stopping not

tonight i think that that that makes more sense that it was in line with like a sincere celebration of hollywood and also i'm gonna be an oscar winner i that's the skeleton key into understanding this is that like oh right this is it also by the way this this is the end like like not billy crystal takes over the next year like this is the last one you ever got of like the old ways no iron ways of no i of no i i think later on they said it was kitschy, but that feels like a cop-out. Yeah.

I think Alan Carr is like, we are celebrating, we're bringing the glamour back. It's going to be full of sparkles, and sparkles on stars that look like the backboard to a high school science project. Yeah, and when is the Tina Turner version of that song come out? So it's fairly recent, I guess, as far as, you know.

Is it 60s, though? Oh, yeah, you're right. No, she had a different, but she had a newer version. Wasn't there, she had a newer version of it as a hit, I think. Of Rolling on the River? Am I wrong? I don't know the ins and outs of the newer versions. Or am I thinking of, didn't she have, there was a performance or something?

Am I crazy? I don't know. Jason saved me here. She had an 80s resurgence. Is that what I'm thinking of, didn't she have, there was a performance or something? Am I crazy? I don't know. Jason, save me here. She had an 80s resurgence. Is that what I'm thinking of? I don't know. I don't think we're within the decade. I know you're trying to help out here.

I'm trying. It's a little bit like saying, it's a reason people don't cover Stevie Wonder. It's the same thing with Tina Turner. That's also not an easy task. Go sing that actor yeah yeah yeah this is meant to be like a show stopping go sing that song associated with tina turner yes it's only the most dynamic performer in the world you guys got this this is your first time on television you could do a proud mary right-singer, you very scared 22-year-old who's never been

on television before. Just be Tina Turner. Go, go, go. Also, what maybe should be said is that behind them are tables and place settings, but those are people who then, like, in that part of it, they're swaying their heads back and forth and they have flower pots on their heads and then they all stand up.

It's like Be Our Guest. It's a bit of pre be our guest be our guest might have got that the idea from that possibly yes yeah the broadway inspiration comes where you least expect it wait this thing this goes and goes and you all right the coconut grove all right are we oh are we done we don't know the coconut grove moves away and the revealing a chinese theater okay now surely we must be, no. Then part of the Chinese gate moves away and there's a kick line and then a different part moves away

and then the top of the Chinese theater becomes the top of a wig on Snow White's head. And it zooms out from, listen, there's Wowie and then where else can it go but Snow White having the biggest wig in the world. But then she gets covered up by a flight of stairs that Lily Tomlin walks down. Yes.

And by the time all this has transpired, this has been 11 minutes of live television. This is almost Super Bowl halftime show length. And they still have Stars of Tomorrow to go. And by the way, when Lily Tomlin walks down, she has a good joke. Yes, she does. This is a Bruce. This has to be. They got Bruce.

Yeah. The joke is, I agree to do the show if they could only come up with an entrance. Okay. Yeah. Pretty good joke. But on the stairs behind her, there's like a gag where like a guy's like, somebody's reaching for a shoe or something.

It's like a Cinderella reference. I don't know what it is. It's like a shoe on the stairs. They do not convey what it is. I think it's Cinderella. But it's Snow White. That's the thing. No, I think it's good.

And then there's like a performer like hamily like reaching for the the shoe and this is going this is fighting that's the worst thing i actually think in that number is that all of all could be forgiven if she could just come out and say hey you know what i i what of entrance or whatever the joke is and and it it keeps going it's like it's it's it's or whatever. The joke is. And it keeps going. It's like it is cursed. Yeah. It's car cursed. Well, and the car curse unspooled through the, as we said, Lucille Ball passes away. Watching this performance in the theater, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Roy roy disney michael eisner is attending to the

parks in orlando he gets on the phone to the entire disney legal team and says turn out are you watching the oscars yeah we're watching it all right do your thing uh lawyer disney lawyers stay up all night so that they can have at 5 30 in the morning a legal document ready to review which by that afternoon is sent to the academy uh we are suing you for unauthorized use of snow white because they did not clear it they did not and they're they're thinking snow white's in the public domain and they use it in beach blanket babylon uh well not that snow white with those colors and that voice. And the voice. Yeah, yeah. So, and another bit of context, as soon as this is over, as soon as it goes to commercial break,

finally, after 11 minutes, the very first thing it cuts to is a Chevy Lumina commercial, which is a cross-promotion with the about-to-open Disney MGM Studios theme park, in which the Chevy Luminas are pulling up outside the chinese theater and disney characters are coming out including the dwarfs so to a viewer they're like oh disney

did that if i'm seeing a disney commercial right now sure surely disney was part of so they it's in the press within 24 hours we're su suing the Academy. They have to issue. They ended up settling it. They didn't go to court or anything. They just apologized profusely. Frank Wells got Frank Wells called the producer immediately. So this guy, he's on the phone with a bit like, hey, how you doing, Frank? He thinks he's calling to congratulate the not so good.

Disney's not happy. So immediate lawsuit right out the door. Then guy hangs up the phone then gets another all right did you hear about the letter no what's the letter there is a letter going out it's going to be in all the trades from a group of esteemed actors criticizing the performance do you guys does anyone know i don't know this uh uh okay um this is a letter uh the 61st academy awards was an embarrassment to both the academy and the entire motion picture industry. It is neither fitting nor acceptable that the best work in motion pictures be acknowledged in such a demeaning fashion.

And this letter is signed by, among other people, Julie Andrews, William Friedkin, Stanley Donen, Blake Edwards, Billy Wilder, Paul Newman, and the main person who pulled this together, Gregory Peck. Wow. Gregory Peck made a point of we have work to do. Whoa. I've written a letter. This cannot stand. Wait, so. An animated mama.

An animated mama. Bill Friedkin. Bill Friedkin here saying that's not how you open an Oscar ceremony. Wait, okay, wait. This is independent of the Disney lawsuit. Yeah, separate. It all happens within one afternoon. Everything unravels for this entire production team.

I mean, I feel like Mary Poppins is telling you, you suck. That hurts. That really hurts. Was not practically perfect in every way. The stress of this killed Lucille Ball. Just watching it. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe she hadn't watched the opening, really. She's like, quick second of it. Found out later, uh-oh, I complimented that boy. I was wrong. Gary taped it. I was so nice to the boy. Gary showed me the tape, and I thought it was dreadful. And I decided to pass away.

Gary, I'm going to die. And do my affairs, please. Oh, Gary, you affairs good for nothing as for Alan Carr it's he like he went into a restaurant the next day expecting to get a standing ovation and

instead no one would look at him oh he never produced a film or a television show again and the Oscars producer Gil Cates many years later said, if he had just made that number shorter,

I think he would still be alive today. Oh, my gosh. Oh, it's dead. I mean, he's right. He's probably right. So the joke I made about Lucy is true about- I think so. Yes, there's a body count to this number.

So he basically went into exile. Yeah. Yeah, he was embarrassed and ashamed. There's a whole count. So he had to go, he basically went into exile. Yeah. Yeah, he was like embarrassed and ashamed. There's a whole documentary about him. It was apparently a huge deal when there was, he thought, I want to re-release Grease and get all the love about Grease again. And it probably helped start the fire,

which now like Grease is eternally popular. And it was like a meaningful thing for him. So he got like a little bit bit of glory at the end. But he didn't do anything new. He was Mr. Hollywood. And then. Before that, Billy Wilder somehow created a new Norma Desmond.

He just wouldn't leave his house. I'm doing it for real this time. So, yeah, this might be the most cursed. And now I'm worried that something bad is going to happen to us because we talked about it oh no i think it's fine i think we're fine i mean i think it's over it's also overstated i mean like it's not i think in context it's not it is bad it truly is terrible but like dom deluise and like i mean that's two years before. Like, what are we... Imagine that was 12 minutes. Maybe that's the issue.

It was quicker. Yeah, I think that is what it is. Because we have seen performance... I think that's the lesson to take away. There are performances of comparable shittiness. But it's really just what are you asking people to endure? Sure. Yeah.

I would have still partied at Alan Carr's house after this. I'd go to that underground disco. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah, because you said that about Brett Radner. That he had a disco in his house, and that is from Alan Carr. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. We all want that in a mansion of ours one day. I guess. It's a little flying too close to the sun kind of story. Yeah, maybe something else neat in your house. Maybe a disco floor. Yeah, boy. Well, you have a brighter spot.

Well, obviously there are no hard feelings in the long run between the Walt Disney Company and the Academy because it's aired on ABC for a long time, which the Disney Company has owned for a long time. And I was looking up because for a while I couldn't find if they were doing it this year. They would show the Oscar broadcast on the Main Street Opera House. They would show that in the Main Street Opera House on Main Street and Disneyland. Yes. This year, what I saw, they have, and they have this every year,

a big step and repeat and giant Oscar statue at the Grand Californian Hotel that you can take a picture with and a milkshake with a bow tie on it. You can buy in California Adventure. But something actually of merit uh at the carthay circle restaurant on loan from the walt disney family museum in san francisco they have the snow white oscar with the little oscars with the seven little with the seven little oscars so you can go

see that right now in the restaurant that is a replica of the theater that Snow White premiered in. That's pretty cool. That's pretty good. Well, that's nice. But that's, I don't know, that's not my Snow White. My Snow White is a petrified, inexperienced actress who's chased out of the business, put on a gag order to where she can't talk about this

for 13 years. True fact also. Really? 13 years? Yeah, I think so. Now she's spoken about it. But, yeah, to me, Snow White has to be couched in tragedy. I mean, I don't know where else to go from here.

We've fully explored the depths. Will the ceremony this year have anything as memorable as this? And will Michael Eisner step in somehow? Because this is back to back. We just on a Patreon episode discovered that Michael Eisner put an end to a regional Los Angeles kids show

called King Koopa's Cool Cartoons. What? Is this recently? No, in the early 90s. He wrote a letter to this is again according we've we talked about it on the patreon but uh according to this wikipedia one of the writers on the show said he wrote a letter to barry diller and got this show canceled so we're learning just like obviously we knew he was powerful but this man wielded so much power and will he step in this year is really what my question is well he's expending all of his power this year making sure those pesky crank

anchors don't show up and cause mischief. Oh, I'll bet you. I'm just glad he left Aladdin's winter wish alone. That's, you know... Because Ben Vereen didn't know what he was... In that production. Oh my god, Ben Vereen was

in it. It was so fun. I think he was like, hey, Disney, he didn't know... Go back to Aladdin's winter God, Ben Vereen was in it. It was so fun. I think he was like, hey, everybody, Disney. He didn't know. So the whole, go back to Aladdin's winterish. Yeah, this is the time to do that. There were elements of it that were clearly just ripping the Disney version off. It wasn't totally Disney because Bruce Flange played the Widow Twanky, which is a character that does not appear in the Disney Aladdin. But Ben Vereen was the genie, and he made a joke about the

Lion King, and he referenced the character Mufafa from Lion King. I don't think he knew the character, but obviously somebody threw this name at him, and he just did his best. Honestly, that was the most fun to see. It was great seeing Richard Karn as the Sultan, but

Ben Vereen as the genie, truly I was very excited to see him. This is Alan Carr level casting. I mean, if Carr could cast... Well, you gotta go to the stage to get Carr level quality now. Ben Vereen was on a show called Zoobly Zoo when I was a kid. It was Mayor Ben

and he had like an animal nose and it's terrifying, but I was a big fan from back then. Yeah, yeah. But we just should, we should just actually, honestly just remember it as the day that Peter O'Toole died.

Yeah, that's maybe a moment of silence and we'll hear it. Yeah, and this and a daughter. Okay, and Ryan Perez, you survived to podcast the ride. Well, you got it. It's an Oscars episode. you got to have an in memoriam that's right oh yeah exactly yeah but now for more 30 more minutes to show everyone

we're still going we got we we got we reached a down point but now we're coming back for the best actor best actress well let me be like army archard and say uh hey what uh irons do you have in the fire let's exit exit through the gift shop. Mr. Perez, is there anything you'd like to plug? Oh, boy, Army. There's so much going on. Oh, yeah. No, if you want to hear me talk about movies more, go over to Mama Needs a Movie, where me and my co-host, Ann Riemann,

talk about movies, a new movie every week. Scott's been on the show. Everybody's going to be on the show. It's another podcast to add to. I know your podcast options are are many but consider adding one more movie podcast and some of the stars you have coming up are crazy joely fisher we got joey fisher we got uh We got Chad Lloyd. We got Ricky Lake. They're all going to be on. We got Tyrone Power Jr.

Oh, jeez. I was going to say. I was maybe not going to listen until you threw that one. I was waiting for Tyrone Power Jr. I heard Gary Morton is going to be on. This is a first. Jordan pulled up the logo. There we go.

The show. Mama needs a movie. And I don't logo. Oh, there we go. On the show, Mama Needs a Movie. And I don't know in what order these things are coming out, but I'm either going to be on it soon or have just been on it, and I'm talking about Mommy Dearest. That's right. Oh, wow. A movie I've never seen.

Should we put that up before the Oscars or after the Oscars? Maybe before the Oscars. Well, people are going to be thinking about Faye because of her involvement. And again, we all remember she got out of there fast. She actually read the name and then was never seen again as opposed to Warren Beatty. That's true. So, you know, relevant. She might have really been the...

She read the name, though. So, I don't know. My conspiracy theory i think still stands that like that that maybe they were in on it maybe not whatever you know you know well we what you what you were saying was that the you know the trickster kimball was maybe it but you know think about who's presenting it like the ultimate criminals bonnie and clyde bonnie the writing is there it's all. It's all there. You just have to look at it.

One last heist. That might have just been an Oscars producer who's been doing it so long, was still mad that the movie started going, when they nominated Bonnie and Clyde, that's when it took a turn. No nice movies for the nice people, you know? Well, yeah, well, check me out on there whenever

and other episodes uh you're great and it's great and uh so happy to have you for for this ryan thank you so much for having me you guys i haven't been on the show since uh i i was in i would think i was in the first 10 episodes yeah yeah at the time i did knotsberry farm and i legitimately thought you guys were going to do like one park per show. That's what I thought. I thought maybe you'll do a few more because you'll do the lands. Each land they'll get an episode. I never would

have thought you guys, not only have you guys done a great show, you've done it now for such an enduring show and I never thought you would get as granular and as entertaining as this show. Us neither. It's been a great joy granular and as entertaining as this show. Us neither. It's been a great joy to watch and listen to this show.

Thank you. That's right. There's multiple episodes about knights in white satin. That level of thing. I never would have thought you guys could do it, but it's great. Thank you. You hearken back to another time.

The Knott's Berry Farm would only get one episode. Now we'd be like an episode for each pie. Each pie would be available. You would not. That snuck in early. Each jam. You got away with something. We didn't know our pace.

As has become a catchphrase from the Cars ride, slow down. You ain't racing yet. We're going as slow as we can as we roll next week with more infinitesimal topics. Thanks to Jordan Katz for producing this episode. You can watch this on the ForeverDog YouTube channel. You can find us on

all the socials at Podcast The Ride. And for three bonus episodes every month, check out Podcast The Ride The Second Gate. Or get one more bonus episode on our new tier, Club 3. What are you saying? We have multiple tiers of this stuff, even. And you find all of that at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. And it was so great to have you.

And I'm, you know, Ryan having you back after so long, talking about all this great stuff, I feel really high. This feels like a high moment for me. But keep in mind that when it's your highest moment, that's when the devil comes for you. You gotta watch out. You gotta watch for him. Oh no, I think I see something. Oh no, I think I see something.

It's Brett Ratner. Maybe it's just Dom DeLuise. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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