Podcast: The Ride - Santa's Village with J.D. Amato

Episode Date: December 12, 2025

J.D. Amato (After Midnight, Eli Manning Presents: The Undercovers) brings a sleigh-ful of Santa's Village lore for PTR to comb through, over-analyze and hyper-fixate on. (Lore from the Santa's Village parks in Dundee, Illinois and Skyforest, California). "Cotino Preview Center" episode is up at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Forever Dog. Ho, ho, ho, the following podcast may contain skunk abuse, Santa's gaslighting brother, and confused dads, and we don't mean the hosts of the show. J.D. Amato takes us to Sky Park at Santa's Village, and three worlds of Santa's Village, and Santa's Village Azusement Park.

You know, it'll be cleaner if we just say Santa's Village, on Podcast the Ride. Welcome to Podcast The Ride, where we're going to try to have a Merry Christmas, even though the Rock and Roller, Hoster Aerosmith pre-show has been boarded up forever. I'm Scott Gartner, very concerned about Mike Carlson. It is upsetting. You know, like I got a lot of tech.

Not a lot. Maybe I meant like five texts, but I've gotten texts about can you believe, is this over? Are we sure? What's going on? Because if people don't know, if you walk into the pre-show, which is the rock and roll coaster is still open, but the pre-show has literally been boarded up. You don't get to see Aerosmith any. anymore. You don't get to see Ken Marino. I think you just walk through that room. And it's

crazy because they didn't announce this. They didn't prepare people for the trauma of not seeing the pre-show anymore. They didn't think this was anything. They thought because this is what's confusing is that they're shutting it down to turn it into a Muppets thing. But that part hasn't happened yet. So it's still running with Aerosmith music and presumably Aerosmith concert as your reward for being brave. Yeah, but how will people know what to, what they want? Maybe they're going on it for the first time. And they don't know what band is involved in this.

Obviously, they read it, but they didn't see the, the men's wonderful faces. They're beautiful, pristine faces from 1990. From 1999, yes, that you can only assume of not melted in a thousand directions. Yeah, I know. I'm also concerned, I'm concerned that people are on the roller coaster going. Sorry, I'm lost. What's happening? Why am I going fast?

I did not get proper context for why I'm speeding through the air right now. Whose hat am I to be excited about? I hear a name. I hear a voice, but I don't have the face to put the hat to. I don't have that. And that's really going to be a problem. And I feel bad. Like, I'll say this.

I don't think he'll be mad. Friend of the show, Matt Cardona, is legitimately upset that he didn't get to say goodbye to Aerosmith pre-show. Wow. And I think it's confirmed that it's just done. I don't think, I think like they're building a scooter robot in there for the Muppets, hopefully. So that's nice to know. This is what puts you in a tough position, Mike, because I think maybe some of our audience is upset about the Aerosmith aspect, but I think a lot of them are really amped for the Muppets. So you're left to potentially be a pariah for not having, you know, just full-on Muppet support.

I am against this. I've been pretty vocal about it. And I probably will remain against it, even if the. puppets or robots are good i think this is a tough area that i've you know we we've learned in various ways the hard way that that uh uh being anti muppet is a is a very tough position in the modern world the only the only way i would be okay is if muppet 3d theater was playing an aerosmith concert and muppets if they just swapped rides i would be comfortable with it okay but that's not obviously monster sink is absorbing that and there's

going to be maybe a monsters and show. I'm not even sure what they're doing with that theater. So it was not a fair trade. And it's just another punch in the dick from the Disney company. I'm so, I'm sorry that that's how you feel. And I think the switchout is a good idea. I think, you know what they should do is they should leave a Janus puppet rotting in the sun for a year. And then that will exactly resemble Stephen Tyler. That would be a nice treat, a nice nod to the past. But I don't think, I don't think, I have, you know what, I even, I won't say that. I've heard some intel on the Muppets. There's, there's, some of the Muppets of stuff sounds good, but I don't even care.

I don't care if it was all the Muppets. You'll never. You'll never support it. Well, you made your position clear. I like that you're standing your ground. You know, let's, let's, let's, let's, uh, let's bring Jason Sharon and into it. Or let's not. Jason is not with us today.

Let's admit to it now. Uh, he's off, he's busy trying to get on the naughty list. It shouldn't be a problem. I was just saying I wanted to send him down to protest the closure, but he's got other things to do. I wanted to send him out to do a January 6th at Rock and Roller Coaster. Well, do it on January 6th. That's the day. That's the day to take what you love back.

But you know what? It's all right. And, you know, there is still plenty to be grateful for in this holiday season. And what I'm grateful for today is that we're joined by someone who is passionate about. out one of the only existing Christmas topics. There aren't very many. So we're very lucky to have somebody who's excited about one. And he's also, he's a great writer-producer for

a zillion shows from After Midnight, the Chris Gethered show. Eli Manning presents the undercovers. In the podcast Cinematic Universe, you may know him as an esteemed regular fixture on blank check. It's J.D. Amato. Hi. Folks, I'm excited to be here. Mike I'm I'm sorry that happened to you That's not fair Thank you

I mean it's I'm more upset for people that were I knew the last time I did rock and roller coaster This would be the last time that I saw Brad Whitford's face And his his like blouse that he was wearing I knew that But I'm more upset for other people

So I appreciate you what you're saying Did you do the thing Did you do the thing where you like You like called some loved ones that couldn't be there and held up the phone next to the ear of the aerosmith pre-show. You're like, say, you can say goodbye. They can hear you. They can hear you.

They turned up all the way. I did not do that. You know what's funny? I'm remembering this now. I was at dinner with my family on this Monday, and I told my mother the replacing Aerosmith with the Muppets. And she went, what? What?

She made a real, like, a disgusted face. She's like, the Muppets? Why are they replacing Aerosmith? And I'm like, oh, okay, my mom feels the exact same way I do. This is Zoron's New York, you know? They're replacing Aerosmiths of the Muppets. It's happening everywhere.

It's only one place to put this blame. I'm glad you called it out. That's a good point. What is happening? Oh, my God. This might be the last civil Christmas we ever have. So I'm so glad you're here with this, J.D. I don't like starting this as like a faux war on Christmas Republican.

That is not the vibe here. Okay. We can recover. Let's light it up. We're having a happy holiday celebration. I'm happy you're here, J.D., and it's been great chatting with you and getting to know you for the last year or so. And I've realized that a lot of our text correspondence has been on and off discussion of today's topic, Santa's Village, and its current form, specifically in Lake Arrowhead in California. But there's a number of facets to this to start getting into it and breaking down.

but how did you how did you land here that's a big question i guess but so yeah scott we've we've crossed paths now now that i've spent a lot of time in l.a we've crossed pads and um i've become absorbed into and it's not just santa's village specifically it's sky park at santa's village which is the um san bernadito mountains um sky forest amusement park that is the yes that's the modern name This was a thing that it was open from the 50s to the 90s that I grew up with and that I went to. And then it was just nothing for a long time. And then in 2016, it emerged triumphantly as Sky Park at Santa's Village. Wait, so you went to it when you were kids.

So we can paint the landscape of this and I can sort of walk into how I got to this. Because I think the first table setting that's important from my relationship to this is that I grew up not an amusement park person. I grew up in the suburb of Chicago to a family that was very averse to amusement parks and to anything in that world in fact recently this is completely genuine my mom apologized to me for not taking us to like fun things like that

because she was like I was just I really didn't like that stuff and so I feel like I deprived you guys of having that experience and it was a very sweet thing for her it was not needed But basically, our interaction with it as kids would be, for example, like, there's a handful of, like, small water parks and, like, the Chicago suburb areas. And, like, we would only be allowed to go to those on rainy days because there wouldn't be that many people there. So we'd have to wait until it was, like, kind of cold and rainy, and then we could go.

Likewise, we would only go to, we would get to go to one of those, like, local amusement parks, like, once a summer. And, again, we had to wait for a day when that. it was forecasted for rain and we'd have to get there the moment it opened and then try to leave by like noon or 1 p.m. Oh, man. I'm worried I'm heading into this territory a little with the kids because my crowd hassle intolerance is definitely low, but I don't think we are still going to the fun places for sure.

Now, do you guys share because suburbs of Chicago, obviously Mike also from that neck of the woods, Do you share some of these odd water parks that are best done during pouring rain? Well, as we've talked about on the show, I had a very anti-water park mother. So we both had moms that were not exposing us to all that Chicago had to offer. Yeah, I have a very pro theme park mom, but anti-water park mom. And anti-Muppet, as we've learned. Well, in this right context. She likes the Muppets, fine.

But like even when, even when, I went to Disney World a couple years ago with my wife and I said I think we're going to go to Blizzard Beach I got some real why do you have to go to water park like why do you have to do that for my mother

so she's still very anti-water park what could bother her about that today wave pool I guess she thinks I'm going to drown in the wave pool at what age in your mid-30s no there was a lot of panic around wave pools maybe it was Chicago

land centric but it was like wave pools are where kids get caught in like machinery and drown and like it was like because I remember that was a thing too because I was a very anxious kid and so I remember being like oh if you go to a wave pool you basically get like sucked into machinery and that's that and it's like a toss up a coin flip whether that happens to you or not I think there's been some accidents in wave pools I don't know that they're those safest pools to go into but yeah I don't know that it was happening there may have been You know what's in my head is that maybe there was one, when we were talking about worlds of fun with Heidi Gardner a while back,

and then there's a water park equivalent of that. I think there might have been a bad wave pool thing there. So if that, I could be making that up. I'm trying to refer to it right now. But if that, you know, that's not far. That's Midwest. So maybe that reverberated out. Well, I know we're going to go through and do our tier list of the safest types of pools.

So I guess we can start that now. Yeah. Infinity pool is the highest. I think of safety. I'm going to put a tier B because you might think the horizon goes on forever and then bump into the wall. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, just keep. I was going to say just keep swimming and then like go off the ledge, but that's not how infinity pools work. You're right. There is still a barrier there. I just think even the fact that we're not clear on this means it's got to be a B-tier safety pool. But you're right. I agree.

Goes on a B. Pools with old, like pools with water slides installed in the 50s and 60s is a bat. That's not really the pool's fault. That's a separate thing. But I just remember like, do you know what I'm talking about like plexiglass? Yes. Slides that are all gone now. And my grandma still had one. I was like, oh, she's got a water slide. And my parents were like, do not under any. We were trying to get that thing out of here. I remember going to a hotel. So we moved around a lot when I was a kid. And so we'd always like drive from the cities that we were moving to it. I remember at some point, for some reason, staying in a hotel. And my sisters and I were

enamored with the fact that it had an indoor outdoor pool and you'd have to like swim under the wall to go outdoor or indoor and I felt like it was like the physics of that were like even I think the physics of that are just like you put a wall there but like it just seemed complete and then every now and then you see mostly online like it can't be in the United States because it has to be a safety hazard the pools that have like the tubes underwater that you can like swim between chambers of the pool between? No. Oh.

No, that's not a good idea. That's what are you? Pool tunnels, no. Only for the, you gotta pass that number of like, like I wouldn't trust myself to do that. I would like Olympic level swimmers only. Yeah, that's F tier for pool safety.

That's the, that's the bottom potentially. There's, or near wave. I started getting, when I was scrolling mindlessly on Instagram, all of a sudden I came on a highlight reel of like AI water slide, like POV,

accidents. What? No. And I'm like, what? I didn't search for this. I'm not, yeah, well, what does it say about me? Let's examine that. But the computer knows, the computer knows I like P-O-V water slide videos, first of all.

But then obviously some sick individual decided to make like P-O-V where people like slide out of the tube and fly down. And then there's no splat or anything, but it's just, you know, it's just like a panic of like, ah, what happened? if this, what would happen if you fell out of the slide, which is an intrusive thought I had as a kid, so. I mean, if our mother saw that, we'd have no shot at going to the small water parks in our area.

Oh, I had a funny thing where I'm, I was very scared of storms as a kid, and now as an adult, I find them, like, very, like, relaxing, so I've, like, worked through that. And I was also scared of, like, water. And so now, as an adult, I find it very soothing to watch, like, videos of, like, big ships in water. And then I went on this algorithmic thing that's sort of similar to, what you described where I would be watching on YouTube like, oh, big ships bobbing in the water.

Then it'd be like, oh, ships in a storm and like ships in big waves. Oh, and ships and whatever. And now it's like, oh, ships capsizing. And now it's like ship sinking. And then suddenly it's just like YouTube is serving me like videos of people getting sucked into industrial machinery. And I'm like, I started being like, oh, this will be a nice way to like calm down before bed. And now I'm seeing someone getting like their arm torn off in a printing press.

And I'm like, what happened? Oh, God. Why did the algorithm do this to me? And those are real videos or AI videos? This is pre-AI. Okay. Geez. Why do they want to feed everyone to upsetting stuff?

I also find that, like, I'll go a month without this coming up. And then out of nowhere, like, now I'm scrolling through, and it's like, here's an old Bobby Caldwell video, and here's Peppa Pig from my son. And here is how 9-11 played out live on television from the moment of the first plane hitting. Here's the live on edited. What do you meet? Why are you showing me this out of nowhere? How is that related to any of that?

Yeah, it's all dark. Everything goes to darkness. I guess that's what they funnel us to. And that's why we're here to talk about Sky Market, Santa's Village. It's what we try. Yes, yeah, I guess we ourselves are are falling victim to it. We keep falling into specifically New York related darkness. We're going to stay in Santa's Village to keep things cheery.

And we're doing this for the clicks. Like right now it's like a radio show. We're like, the numbers are spiking through the roof. Keep talking about people getting their arms torn off. The real money's being in misery merchants. That's what we are. Blood and guts and gore. That's right.

But this, yeah, so, yeah, what brings you to this? Because it's like, I knew this was there, but I've always been confused by that branding. And it never got on, it hasn't recently gotten on my radar as like a place to take the kids or anything. I've just always been confused by the modern state of this place. So what gets you there? Well, here's a thing, Scott. You shouldn't be scared or confused, which is what you're telling me.

Santa's Village is a welcoming place for all. And as an inhabitant of Santa's Village, I want to welcome you. So here's my story is that I'm not an amusement park guy. I'm not seeking out amusement parks. I've actually never been to Disneyland. I've never, I've been to Universal Studios in L.A. And I think, like, once. Like, I just, it's not something that was part of my childhood that brought me into that

world. Yet, yet, sky park at Santa's Village. So this past year, or like, you know, I guess whatever, 2024-2025, I was sure running after midnight, and that took me to L.A. So I had to leave New York, go to L.A. And I think it saved. That was like a pretty stressful job. We would shoot Monday through Wednesday. Thursday would be meetings. And then Friday, we mostly had off. And especially near the end of things that we didn't really have anything on Fridays. So my way of disconnecting from the world is that one of my big hobbies is like I love mountain biking. And being in New York City, I never really had access to that in terms of space for storing a bike or, you know, the ups and downs of the industry men. It was like, I never really wanted to dive in.

So getting this job that gave me a little bit of flexibility in life and all this stuff. I was like, my gift to myself is I'm going to buy myself a mountain bike. And then because I'm in L.A. had to have a car to get to work and live in L.A. life. So as after midnight was stressful, I was like, I'm going to go mountain biking on the weekends. And being that I didn't really have like a mountain biking community, I was going to be biking by myself. And so I didn't really want to hit up trails or places like that where if like I got hurt or something happened to me, I would just be like out in the wilderness on my own.

Oh, just stranded. Yeah, yeah. So I wanted to go to mountain bike parks or like lift operated mountain bike parks. And one of the things that California has and L.A. has is that an hour and a half from it is Sky Park at Santa's Village, which is a non-lift-operated bike park, but it runs 365 days. It runs the entire year, which most lift-operated mountain bike parks are only operating during the summer months because otherwise they have snow on them or there's not enough people there to, like, turn on the lifts. Sky Park is year-round. So I got into this habit where every Friday, while I was working at after midnight I would put my bike in my car drive an hour and a half into the mountains

and go to Santa's Village because so Sky Park at Santa's Village it is a Santa themed amusement park that connected to it is also a mountain bike park for adults and like real mountain biking and those two things are

overlapped and so when you go to skypark at Santa's Village. It is both families and kids enjoying all the Santa themed stuff and like adults in full body armor with big expensive bikes walking through the park to get to the trails. And that means that like the entire ecosystem is like at the little restaurants and at the shops, at the bathrooms. It is a mixture of like adults covered in like mud and gear and like kids kids with gingerbread dolls. That's fascinating. Wow. And so every weekend I'd go up there. So I got the annual pass and literally, I think

every Friday for probably six or seven months until the other bike parks opened, I was going to Sky Park. You went dead often. Holy shit. Wow. Wow. So it became a place where like I went from being someone that had like no amusement park stuff to someone who basically lived one day of the week at

this amusement park. Would you come back or did you have a regular hotel up there? No, I would come back since only an hour and a half drive. And so it was like I would drive up, spend the day biking and then drive back and like, you know, call people on the phone and chat and do that whole world. Oh, sure.

Avoiding traffic, though, because that can stack up because that's also, like, some of that path is the way to Vegas. So that can, like, on the weekend can start to get insane. Yeah, it's funny because I've done the drive so often now that I don't even have to look up directions. I just know exactly how. It's like, it's like four turns total. You do like two north to 210 east.

You get off at whatever, water something. and then that takes you right into the road. And once you try to get there, there's like 30 minutes where you're driving on the most treacherous, like, twisty, turny roads where there's like a thousand foot drop-offs right next to you. Yeah. Well, is it, because some of that is the same

as the path to Big Bear, which I know better. Yeah, so basically you're going to Big Bear, but then instead of turning left to go in towards to Big Bear, you sort of keep going along the outside. And you go through Sky Forest, And, like, there's a little town that's, like, Rim of the World is what they call it. So there's, like, Rim of the World High School and Sky Forest.

And so Sky Park is sort of nestled in there. And it's this crazy drive where you're like, again, like, it honestly feels fantastical because you're in L.A. And then you're sort of getting out towards, and then you cut into the mountains. And then it's like, you're just, like, driving past boulders on these one lane, windy roads. And you go into the clouds at times. And then you're like, you see signs. for like now entering sky forest and you passed rim of the world high school where i learned christie yamaguchi the figure skater went to went to high school wow wow geez and then there's

all these local ice rinks possibly i think so and then then you see all these signs that's like santa's village four miles away Santa's village two miles away keep going and then you come to this place that is like this Santa themed universe and i when i first went i just thought it was a mountain bike park and I was like perplexed to arrive and have it be like candy canes and gingerbread houses greeting you and I was like, did I come to the right place? But it's very funny because you walk up and normally as like a weird single adult covered in mountain bike gear with a big bike walking into amusement park, you'd be like, are they going to be like, what is your deal? And instead they're like, oh yeah, hey, welcome. Come this way. Right this way. And it's like this very

interesting mix of world. This is very strange. I well, yeah, and I knew there was some stitched together of these premises, but I didn't know exactly how it landed there, and I mean, we can go backwards into the Santa's Village part at some point, but the, what happened is that this was this like beloved,

you know, like, low, just like community kind of yeah, just local park, which I remember the ads for very strongly, but they closed to the 90s, was vacant for a long time, and then there was a couple that bought the land

to open the bike part. And then, like, people in Lake Arrowhead are in that, in Sky Forest, in that area, started saying, so you're reopening Santa's Village, that's great. Well, because I remember this. I remember the lollipop tree and all. And they're like, uh-oh, we are not reopening Santa's Village. What do we do? And then they, in a sort of like wonderful holiday Grinch's heart growing three sizes sort of affair,

they went, maybe we are reopening Santa's Village. Maybe that's what we have to do. Maybe there's a way to blend all of this. So it was these people who had no experience with amusement parks suddenly opening amusement park because they wanted to make the community happy, which I think is kind of nice that they like amended their premise after community feedback. Well, it's funny because I, in now going there, I started getting into like what really is this place?

Because it is not, it's not normal. You go there and it feels very unique. You know, like, I mean, I feel like this is the whole world that you guys operate in is there's these curios that exist because all these like cultural tectonic plates line up in just a way where these strange things blossom and this strange Santa themed amusement park, nay, mountain bike park that like coexist in a sort of remote part of California, the fact that it's so flourishing was so unusual. And the vibe there is like so positive and so like, yeah, this is just what it is. and the community is very involved there. So I started really getting into both like, okay, what is like the lore of what this place is doing and then also the like history of it.

And then what was interesting, and this ties to Mike and I's past is it started at this, the San Bernardino Mountains one. It's this guy that bought the land and had, I guess he heard that other people were doing these like Santa theme amusement parks. And he was like, all right, I'll do one too. And then he opened it a week before Disneyland opened. Yeah, barely, 195, just barely squeaked it in before.

So technically predates that guy, by the way, Glenn Holland was his name. And I guess we have to go back into depression, literally into the Great Depression, because that, I think the guy who found at the park was like grew up in the Great Depression, very poor. Then his parents died when he was 18, right before Christmas, thus causing him to have to take care of his siblings, as the new forced father. And it was the most miserable Christmas you could have.

And he had a dream of people not having to have such a sad Christmas. And in fact, having happy Christmases all year round. Thus, Santa's Village was born. And there's a lot of these interesting, like historical websites. People are very into Santa's Village. And one of them had a very funny thing where they said, it's that whole story. And then there's like Glenn Howard,

after reading a Saturday evening post story about a similar project called North Pole in New York Holland was like I guess I'll do that So at the same time either I have a deep rooted love for Christmas which was fueled in the

forged in the fire of the death of my parents but then also I read an article about one and I thought I'll do one Okay so then here's here's the interesting thing So he creates that it's a hit they open one in Scott's Valley, California,

which Scott, I don't know where your valley is or what its deal is, but that was only open for a few years. My valley sucks. Don't try to open a business there. It's full of weeds and wolves. And then for reasons that I cannot understand, they opened up one in the Chicago suburbs in Dundee, Illinois, which, Mike, did you ever go to Santa's Village?

Every, at least once a year. I don't think we ever did more than one, but like once a year up until I was 12 or something, it felt like. That's, yeah. I think I only ever went once or twice because it was my neighbor across the street, Brandon Samarajski, him and his brothers really wanted to go. And they were a family that, like, did stuff like that. And so I went with them.

But they were kind of a very, I would say an uninhibited family. And so there's a lot of kids being like, I want to go on this. And I was just like, whatever vote I can give that will just sway towards, things moving so i felt very uptight there but i have like a couple core memories one of it being there's like a a balloon like it's like hot air balloons that like rotate around a centerpiece and then go like horizontal and that being one of the big attractions um there's also um a like a like skating rink there right well which like my sister took skating lessons there And I guess now that I think about it, I took one round of skating lessons, but did not like it.

So I stopped. How far? Nice job, Christy Yamaguchi. Yeah, you could have done Christy. You could have been the next Christy. I could have. I was not into it, though. Folks, the holidays are almost here.

And if you still have names on your list, do not worry. Because uncommon goods makes holiday shopping, stress-free, and yes, joyful. They've got thousands of one-of-a-kind gifts you can't. can't find anywhere else. You'll discover presents that feel meaningful and personal, never rushed or last minute. They make very high quality, unique things, stuff I've never seen, and folks, I've gotten around. I've seen a lot of stuff. I purchased this old-looking speaker that looks like, you know, your grandfather would have it in the den or something, but it's actually Bluetooth. It mixes the old world aesthetic with the modern technology. And I'm

getting it is a gift for someone, and I think they're going to really like it because they like music, but they also like old-looking stuff. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone, from moms and dads to kids and teens, from book lovers and sports fans to foodies, mixologists, and gardeners. You'll find unforgettable gifts that are anything but ordinary. So don't wait. Make this holiday of the year you give something truly unforgettable. To get 15% off your next gift, go to Uncommonogoods.com slash ride. That's Uncommongoods.com slash ride for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. Folks, Michael here. Yes, sometimes I last minute shop for the holidays and I'm looking

desperately for an idea and I can't find one, but this year I got one and I'm going to give it to you. These are called aura frames. These are picture frames, but they aren't just regular. They are digital. So you could put hundreds, thousands of photos in the frame. You can stream them. from your phone you can do a lot of different things with them and they're going to make a great gift for my mom this year and hopefully she's not listening to this and spoiling surprise because she can put pictures of her children a grandchild even one of her famous beetles a paul perhaps she could put in there and she could shuffle through i'm going to explain how it's done it seems pretty simple and i think that she's going to love it for a limited time save on the perfect gift by visiting aura frames dot com

to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Matt Frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code Ride at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com, promo code Ride. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell-out fast, so order yours to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

How far from Schaumburg is Dundee? You know what? That is a funny thing. that I should know off the top of my head. At the time, it felt like it was like a cross-country flight. That's what I was going to say. But I assume it was like 35 minutes. Because I was like, for us, that was always so far away from Wilmette.

And so it felt like another universe to go to like, oh, it's like an hour long drive plus you're at a theme park. My parents were like, no, we're not doing that. Right. Let me look it up. It's a funny question. We've 25 minutes. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. Those things loomarch when you're, kid I I so we've because yeah you Mike your Santa's village has come up before yeah we've even talked through the years about we should like collect the Santa's villages and figure out what's going on with this franchise so not until this and JD putting it together did I realize these were this is the same network I know I know villages but that's not every there are Santa's villages that are outside of

it but at least my my childhood one and your childhood one Mike and JD are the of the same network that is funny here's a question Mike have Have you gone to Sky Park at Santa's Village, the California one? I have not. I have not gone yet. I know. And this information, now that I know that they're like connected, I have to do it. I think we should create a sort of like a tier system that's sort of like, you're part of like, you know, sort of like Delta Sky Miles where it's like, however many of the Santa's villages you've gone to sort of like denotes your status.

Oh, yeah, sure. I'll just say for not really growing up a theme park guy me having red beard or white beard status red status red no status Red suit would be like a pirate right or black beard status would be a pirate

not pirate not pirate Yeah red suit status Which that's I've gone to both the Dundee one And now the California one And you guys are you guys are still white trim status Oh yeah we're just the fluff on that outside side of the coat. Oh, God. I'm just, I'm just fluffy button. Yeah, that's no, it's disappointing. And I, I, I, I'm sad now that I think about my status with the Santa's Villages. I don't know. Is there, there's like a juror. So I'm not, somebody shouldn't buy all the Sanis Villages and put them under one umbrella. But I guess if you're called Santa's Village, even like the dinkiest park, I think we should count it in this whole thing. There should be a, yes, there should be a whole, so there's one in Vermont that is like a bit, or Vermont or New Hampshire.

that I think it's yeah that's apparently like a big deal in the east coast that I have not been to that I guess has real reindeer and that's like a big part of it oh wow um and then I think there's one or two in other places there's also a funny thing about the Dundee one um that didn't really so it's like looking because once I figured this out that they're connected I was like oh my god what a small world um but then you look at it and I didn't realize how many naming changes the D one went through yeah oh yeah this is nonsense so I have a Way too many. And I have a fun quiz associated with this, too.

Okay, so Dundee started as Santa's Village. Simple, clean. Simple, clean. Then they turned into the Worlds of Fun theme park, which there was already a Worlds of Fun theme park. And so I think there was some like, maybe not active litigation, but some like, hey, change your theme park. Yeah, don't. It existed. So then they change it to the three worlds of Santa's Village.

Got it. No further questions. Don't need to know what the worlds are. Do you know what the worlds are? Yes. So here's my quiz to you guys. What do you think the three worlds of Santa's Village are? Oh, man. If you had to guess, and you're going to get it wrong, listeners at home, you can play along. If you had to guess, what are the three titular worlds of Santa's Village? Do you remember what year they had that was three worlds? Mike it would be when we were going there It was that Yeah that's a familiar thing

But I'm trying to remember Because we never called it that Believe it or not We just called it Santa Village You weren't like Let's go to three worlds I did not say let's go to three worlds I mean there was like

So water element Two part of it Or am I misrem Like sand So you think one world is water world Could be water world I'm gonna throw in That there's some like

Safari village is one of, that there is like a, like, kind of like, here's little Africa or something. And then the third would just be like the North Pole. Okay, so Scott, you're saying it's Little Africa, the Jungle World. And the North Pole. And then what was your third, Scott? I don't know if I had it that. I said water world.

Yeah, water world. Water world. Okay. Here's a hint. One of the worlds is Santa's Village. Okay. Hey, great. Okay, that was sort of akin to, I should have just called that out more.

Yeah, okay, Santa's Village is one. So the three worlds of Santa's Village, one world is Santa's Village. The other world. Confusing, it's in the title already. Is Old McDonald's Farm? No. And then the third world is Coney Island. What?

I don't remember that at all. There's no way, only with a number of hints. I just love that it's like, the three worlds of Santa's Village, Santa's Village, Old McDonald's Farm, and Coney Island. Yeah, even like, yeah, compared to a Disneyland construct, I don't know if you'd land necessarily at, like, where do you want to go? Well, the jungle and the Old West and the future, but closer than Old McDonald's Farm. Yeah, what does Old McDonald have do with Santa.

Okay, so that leads to my favorite part of this. So it goes from the Three Worlds of Santa's Village to Santa's Village theme park, to Santa's Village Amusement Park to then my favorite update of the title, which technically it's still called, but it's only vaguely called. Do you know what this is, Mike? Is it a Santa's Village Azusement Park? Yes, the Santa's Village Azusement Park. Right, but it's not listed as the Azusman Park on their official website anymore. No, I think they named it that. And then everyone was like, what are you doing? Why did you do that? and they didn't change it but they've they've shied away from it because also just like from an

SEO and like why would you not call it amusement park and instead call it an azusment park yeah and then if you go if you search it on google it still says azubman park in the description but then you click on it and it's there's no azusement to be found no you are not azuzed i'm not in the least azused i it's also confusing for searching and everything because is it, I mean, I know the answer, but is it double O or is it you? You've got two ways to spell Azuz. Neither of them mean anything more than the other. Yeah, and I think Azusement Park is like a type of theme park now.

I think that's a new genre of theme park, which is the, what's the Disney one that's also animals? I think those should all be. Yeah, those should all be referred to as Azusement Parks. You'd be classified as Azusement Parks. I don't hate it. I'll say that. I don't hate it. I don't hate it

I don't know what you gain from it necessarily I mean I guess that's a silly question to ask what are we gaining from the names of any of these amusement parks but I feel like it's not more clear it's not clear because you have to like would have to see it spelled maybe to understand what it is and it doesn't have

also but here's the answer it's not double oh it's you so you just you're just looking at a zoos no that's confusing it's the sound of zoo but the spelling of a muse so you really are staring and then you're like is it like uh is it all right there's a tribute to coney island and there's a tribute to azusa california is that what i'm reading yeah and then there looks like there's new there are new lands like there's santa springs that's a land like a

land i haven't looked up what's what's hopping at the dundee santa's village yeah what are the what are the what are the different lands how many worlds would you say it currently has um well it doesn't really have like a distinction with the lands but there's a a place called, maybe it's just a ride called Santa, no, no, Santa Springs Water Park. So there is a different thing over there that's a different, and it's got red, white, like red and white and green slides. And also, I think currently it's half, there's also a paintball, a paintball battlefield is part of the, really?

They've split up the property to be the ice rink, amusement park, the water park, and then a paintball, I don't know, what do you, a paintball facility? What do you call a paintball? Paintball field, a paintball. I'm feeling I'm not on a call of a bunch of paintball guys. Yeah, believe it or not, we're not paintball guys. I know you thought we were paintball guys. I guess this would be the place to do it.

All right, vote for us to have to go do paintball. Oh, it's going to hurt me, though. I don't want to get hurt. Yeah, yeah, I don't think we're bouncing back from those pelts. Those pelts seem like they're hurt. Santa wants you to do it, Mike Well, if Santa wants it Here, let me pull up

Are you naughty or nice? Answer, answer with your deeds Let me blast you with red, white, and green Faint Falls I've got a picture of the map Here Let's see, I'm going to pull this up Perce this, yes, all right? So you got like pirates, these are rides

Pirates Revenge, this is the one in Dundee, Snowball ride, it's a snowball ride, it's a snowball ride. Wait, Pirates revenge, so we could have the red good club. That's true. I guess you would be fine. Yeah, yeah. I noted that in looking at this park.

Why did pirate all, it's in the North Pole, pirates need to get revenge. All pirates collectively get their revenge. Yeah. Well, that's a good teaser because I want to get into the story lore that I've learned just through being there of Sky Park. Okay, great. Number six is farmers fling, which I guess is when the farmer has an affair outside of his marriage. It's like a key party that all the farmers have.

Right. I don't want to ask this question, but I am curious, is this fling with a human being? Or is it with a scotchure in the barnyard? Sexy reindeer. With like a Lola Bunny reindeer. That's the way I'm picturing it. The little pink nose. What if we just find that Santa's Village in Dundee is like the most just like morally corrupt, like deranged place where it's like paintball and inner species and mating and pirates?

Pirates run around. They're cocky from the revenge they got, and they're doing it with pigs. If it's like a farm slash paintball field and you have to shoot the animals with paintballs, then we would really know that this place has gone to hell. So, yeah, this is... You got some weird stuff going on, too, that number nine. Do you vote that I read number nine or not? Oh, my God.

Yeah, you're right. What does it say? I guess I'll have to. Oh, no. No, a lot of these are not good. Wait a minute, this. Okay, it's an M word for if you're, let's, it's an M word for people who are short. And it rhymes with Ridge.

So, we've, good, good job, Scott, really, really. Yeah, now I don't, I haven't said it or it's, it's everyone else, it's, it's a listener's fault for thinking it. So the ride is called, uh, Ridge O racer, just replace that R. And it kind of, this is kind of part of an unfortunate theme park tradition because Disneyland has the otopia, which is where you get, a kid's get to drive a car. But then somehow they had an even smaller one for littler kids. I don't know. And this was open in the world in the 1950s and using that same mechanism, I'll call it rigid autopia. Oh my gosh.

Well, I think, I think the theming of Santa's Village is really clear because there's Pirates Revenge. There's space invasion. And then Wacky Worm, very clear. Great. And then 79, if you guys take a look at 79, I think that's also very clear. Stinky Feet game. How are we doing this without Jason? I know.

That's something that Jason's like, you never played stinky feet game before? We used to play it on the shore. You know, we were a stinky feet game family growing up. I also like that I'm now gleaning the animal attractions that are part of the Azusement. And it doesn't seem that star studded because the options are tortoise Island, old McDonald's barn, barnyard, coy pond, and reindeer retreat. So I think it's a coi pond, some farm animals, and some turtles is kind of what we got going on. Yeah, it might not be like the San Diego Zoo out there. as far as a variety.

I like 73 is a real conundrum. Upgrade center and mining sluice. These are the same facilities. If you want to get your annual pass, you got to make sure to dodge debris from the mining sluice. It's funny because even looking at this map, I do have vague memory of the shape of the park

and like how it all seems operate like i remember there being the little train area over there and the like the where the roller coasters are they had the the roller coaster was fairly new when we were going and what's now that i'm really i'm really trying to remember what the last age when the last time i went because i never went on the coaster because i was too scared and it was a very mild coaster yeah what were where where did you get in the as a fellow chicagoland um young child. Where did you get in the Six Flags Pantheon? Oh, I

didn't do anything. We went, but I didn't do any of the actual big rides. I never did Batman the ride. I would go and see like the Batman stunt show and then maybe go on some of the Looney Tune rides or the Carousel or something. So I didn't even, we only went to Six Flags a couple times.

We went to Sanchez Village a lot more. But it's embarrassing. I need to go and correct that in Chicago at some point. Yeah, yeah. That'd be a good ep to hear you. I made it on to the Viper and the American Eagle. I know. That would be awesome, I bet. I mean, Mike, listen, we should once, we're both back in our hometown at some point. We should make a trip to six flags. Sure, yeah. Reclaim the youth that we lost by having parents

that didn't really love. Well, my mom, yes, my mom didn't love like thrill rides or water park, but she did love themes, which is why we, I guess, we were at St.is Village more. So I guess on this magical. We should go to Santa's Village first in the morning and then go to six flags at night. Yes, exactly. And then... Big drive, though, long drive. Well, here's the thing. So a part of why we're doing this record this way is because I've also been trying to badger Scott to come to Sky Park at Santa's Village, which is just a convenient hour and a half drive and probably two hour drive back out of Los Angeles. And it's a perfect way to spend the day with your wife and child as in a car driving up narrow cliff sides to get to a Santa FEMA amusement park.

Right. Yeah, it's, I have done, I saw I've done Big Bear with my oldest, and it is like, I did, I was scared of that drive, and my wife really scared to drive before having a kid in the, and so going up and coming down that hill with a kid was really, I mean, I'll, I'll do it. It's just a, uh, I'd like to do this, this place. I'm not so scared of it, I wouldn't do it. you're just on pins and you were so relieved when that drive is over well you're scared of santa too yeah yeah that's you know what i'm making it up that i'm blaming the drive but the fact is

i'm intimidated by him he's he's he's eternity years old and that scares me very famous i don't know what shit he's seen horrible times in the history of the world uh jady have did you ever go to a place called Pirates Cove? Um, okay. So all of the things that I did were either my friend Mike Hart and his family did a lot of things and I would get taken along with or would be like a random friend. Can you describe Pirates Cove? Uh, yeah.

I mean, it was a, it was smaller than Santa's Village, but it had a giant pirate ship that you could run around on. And then it would have tiny rides. And one of the rides was, um, like a flying saucer that you would get in and they play a very, like a short movie on a tiny screen that suggested that you were flying off into space. And I've talked about this on the show before that I thought it was real, and it freaked me out, even though I could see the light was still coming in through the door. I could still kind of see that. Yeah, I took my nephew to Meow Wolf in Denver, and you get an elevator,

and they're like, you're being turned into whatever. And my sister, who is with us, her, his, had to go like it it's not real you're not turning into anything and I forgot that thing as a kid where like even if you know there's a part of it's like am I going to space right now did I accidentally sign up for something where like I live in space now yeah yeah yeah I was just like in a in a situation like this too where like you are you are you do have to clarify like no that's crazy you couldn't go to space or no we're not really in the old west now what about Santa Claus oh yes he's real yes Santa is real he lives in the North Pole we are going going to kind of an outpost of the North Pole.

It's not the North Pole. That's the way up at the top of the world. But we are going to meet the real Santa and his wife and various reindeer and friends. So we're balancing realities constantly with kids. Well, Scott, I think this is a good transition because you actually got a couple things wrong there about the lore of what's going on at Santa's Village.

Okay, okay, yes. So again, I go there for the mountain biking. And, you know, at some point I can walk you through some of the mountain biking and from a mountain bike perspective what what sky park is like but what kind of tires should somebody who wants to get their first mountain bike

get well listen I think let's talk treads I think you could you could ride an all mountain bike but I think you're going to need full suspension I think you'd have hard time at a hard tail it is not lift assisted so you do have to ride up so it's actually one of the like the foremost parks for e-bikes for

e-mountain bikes that are like slightly motorized and so I don't because I like to pedal up, and I ride sort of like what we call like an enduro bike that is both like you can sort of do up but then do mild downhill. But you could also ride like a pretty, a pretty robust downhill bike on some of the trails. By a lift, you mean, that's like a ski lift sort of situation that attention is up so you can just ride down. This is one of the trails.

This is Neverland Jumpline. It is one of their main trails here. And is this kind of like a ride-through of it? And now are we going to start getting AI videos that show horrible accidents and arms getting ripped off on bike trails? You'll get something that's closer to my algorithm where it's just showing you like

POV videos of people riding different trails around the world. Okay, yeah, I hope it doesn't turn scary. This boy, this looks fun as hell. I bike a lot, but I've never biked to this. I've never done anything remotely close. I don't like going down like a driveway too fast. So this is, it looks fun as hell, but I'd have to really get my, get my stamina up. Yeah, but it's like, it's a real like bike park, you know?

And so that's why it's like, it's that mixed with all of this, the theme park thing, which is why it's like such an interesting bedfell that it is like, you know, mountain bikers. It's like people who this is their, like, their adult hobby mixed in with this, this universe. So I just sent Mike and Scott a video from the, official Sky Park, Santa's Village YouTube page called Jumpline Trail Preview with the Trail Dogs Mountain Bikers. Where is-Shed out of the Trail Dogs.

Shout out for the Trail Dogs. Have us on your podcast, Trail Dogs at some point. That looked fun as hell. I was seeing bridges, like going across a little rickety bridge. Yeah, it's in, and what Sky Park, the mountain biking side is actually known for is having pristine maintained trails, like the trail builders there are really amazing and their trails are always in excellent condition, which is like not always the case at a lot of these, these parks. And so like you go there and it's like everything is built beautifully.

It's really nice. It's funny. Some mountain bike drama is that there's a YouTuber, his name is Mountain Bike Allen who does like videos. And people think that he's rude to other bikers in his videos. And like Sky Park is one of the places where he rides a lot. And so like on a lot of the videos you find of Sky Park, it'll be like mountain bike Allen will be people in the comments being like this guy thinks he's so good but he's actually that's actually not how you treat other bikers

and actually it's like it becomes like the canvas onto which people there's a lot of mountain bike drama is there a whole I mean I guess probably the answer has to be yes but is there a whole like kind of vlogger online ecosystem of bike influencer

people and personalities and like recaps of bikes and stuff big time it's in fact probably like the main way that mountain biking i'm also a big like track and field distance running guy and like similar to that sport is that like being a pro in that field is hard because to make a living you really have to be like the elite of the elite in the like world cup racing scene and for everyone else especially like free riders and people who aren't like doing like world cup racing you make your living as sort of like an influencer that's like making videos, posting videos, product review, trail rides, things like that. And then, of course,

there's a whole universe of amateur people who do that. And so, like, nowadays, if you go to a bike park, I'm going to say 60% of people have a GoPro attached to them and are, like, recording their ride and broadcasting that in some way. Can you list some of the names? Because we've figured this out, like, you know, there's always, like, a Dan in the group. Because, like, there's Disney Dan, but then in my toy, all the toy videos it was, there's a pixel Dan. So like, I love hearing the names of all the different YouTube, YouTubers and

stuff. So could you list more off the top of your head? Is there a Dan in there? There's got to be a Dan. I'm trying to think if there's a Dan. Let me do a quick Google to see if someone pops up. Because a lot of them have like YouTube channel names that are I just like, I love every

ecosystem that exists. I guess, let's see, I guess, let me, before I make sure that he's Dirt bike Dan maybe? Yeah, that'd be good. That's sitting there. If you're a big fan of the band, the Dan band, you could grab the name, I'm Dan band Dan, I'm an influencer in the Dan band space.

There's a pro writer Dan Atherton, who's part of Atherton cycles, who posts a lot. Remy Mattelier is like a big YouTuber guy that does a lot of bike stuff. There's the Lome Ranger is a guy. There we go. That's what I'm looking for, stuff like that. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I see a dirty Dan.

We got a dirty Dan somewhere. Yeah, that's good. The big bike hub that like, you know, where all the message board, you know, every place has its message boards where you're like, if you're, don't go there, you're like, don't go there. You're like, if you're, don't go there, you're like, salty and being rude and, like, every. Or the deepest darkest fandom lies. Yes. And running, that's a place called let's run where it's like, don't go there. It's dark.

And then in biking, that's pink bike. Pink bike is the place that has all of that stuff. Oh, wow. Pink bike is the salty place? Like the 4chan of mountain biking Yes, yes for sure Is there Is there like a weirdly right wing

One like that's something that's happened in the theme park community is that there's one called There's one called Inside the Magic that's like Why does everything have like a weird anti-vax stance Why is it all about What's every article about rides but also cancel culture That's let's run for running I think pink bike you could probably get a lot of that stuff too Is this just the same shit happens everywhere

It's the exact same thing everywhere. Anything people like, it's the same things have developed. The same type of... What fandom is. Right. It's what fandom is and it's what everybody now is like an influencer for the thing they like. Yeah, it's, there's, this is a whole universe. And it's funny because if you look up the Sky Park videos, it's always people being like,

I discovered the weirdest place in the middle of California, like the most unique bike park in the United States. It's like, everyone's like, what is this weird? curio of a place. Oh, interesting. Because it really isn't like any other, you know, the other Los Angeles ones that are sort of in the Big Bear area are Snow Summit and Snow Valley, which are both like a 10-minute drive from each other. And there are, you know, snow summits where a lot of people go like skiing and snowboarding

and in the summer it turns into a bike park. And those are much more classic like ski lift culture kind of things where it's like you get your pass, you wait in line to get the lift up. the top it's very like bikers and you can get burger and a beard down below and it's like that everyone runs that place whereas what's funny about sky park is you're having to coexist with children and with like themed characters that are in character so like as I'm walking my bike you know I I scan my wristband and it's someone that's in a Santa's you know a Santa's village theme thing that's like hi welcome you're going through a gingerbread house kind of thing

then you go out and then I always go left to get as fast as I can to the trails and not have to walk through. When I first started going there, I would take the long way and you're like walking by children and Santa and everyone's doing their things. Like a live Christmas trees.

Yes, exactly. And so I go left, but then when I go left, what it means is I go by the conductor for the train and he's usually like an old man and sort of like a Christmas theme. And he's like, good morning, nice day for a bike ride. And I'm like, good to see you.

How are you? And then I go. You're like, what are the rules of this? Am I in 2025 or am I in 1860? Where does this work? Okay, so that is one of the interesting things. So first, there is theming in the bike park world as well. So all of the trail names are named Christmas theme things, which is like there's a double-track

trail that are like two trails that intertwine that are Donner and Blitzin. Then there's Neverland Jump Line that I talked about. There is, what are the other ones? a sleigh ride is like the like blue flow trail comet that's not themed around that and then there's there's arrow which you're going to learn about arrow in a second but that is actually themed to Christmas and you'll learn about that but so to your point of like when you're like oh what am I supposed to do so I'll go there and I'll bike and then I will go have lunch and like eat lunch and hang out in the place and then go back to biking but eating lunch

means you have to go into Santa's village. And I, when you go there, there's characters that are in character in this universe. And now that I go there every weekend, like, they start talking to me. And they're in character, in universe of their world. And so, like, a good friend of mine that worked with, on the Getherd shown, undercovers, Noah Foreman, his family, his wife is from Boulder, and so they go to the Boulder all the time. And so he was talking, he really recommended that I go. go to Casa Bonito.

I took my nephew on a Colorado trip. And we went to Casa Bonita. Oh, yeah, the best, right? Yeah, I mean, it was amazing. And he was sort of laughing saying, like, the thing is, is that, like, if you start talking to the performers, they sort of pick up that you're an improviser. And so, like, they kind of enjoy, like, riffing in character. Like, once you sort of show that you can, like, keep up, they sort of, like, like,

talking to you. And, like, I find myself doing the same thing in Santa's Village where, like, Like, you know, the elves will come up and be like, we're trying to find magic snowflakes. And I'll be like, oh, damn, I saw a bunch of magic snowflakes up there. Like, how many guys, and, like, now I'm just, like, an adult having, like, a weird improv scene with a bunch of, like, 22-year-olds while, like, kids walk by. As a breather between high-octane mountain biking. Yes, and I have, like, a strange contrast. I have, like, a chess plate on and, like, a full-face helmet and my big bike that I'm dragging alongside me.

No, the mythology is nuts here because I went on the website and I'm like, this goes far beyond Santa and Mrs. Claus. So, Scott, I want to walk you through the mythology because I've pieced a bunch of it together through my interactions, and then the website has a really good breakdown. And I feel like, Mike, if you haven't looked at it,

I think we can sort of walk you through it and we can sort of, I think it'd be fun for you to sort of guess what each character's thing was. Oh, sure. And then we can sort of tell you. So first, here, I'm going to send you a YouTube video that again, if you want to cut this, out you can, but it'll just sort of give you the, like, the vibe of Santa's Village. You can

kind of see that it's like all of the fun stuff. Yeah, you know, rock and roll shows with inflatable instruments. Right. But frosty, like walk around character, gingerbread man, walk around character. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of walk around characters. Yes, and there's more in this video than I remember at Santa's Village in Dundee when I was a kid. Like, they had Santa for sure in a house and we would not visit him like every time or any, maybe any time. I don't know that we ever visited Santa in the house, but they did not have this level of walk-around character. Nor did they, when I was a kid,

because I think it was, I think you're primarily got Santa, and they had, the owners, or like with a co-owner, was the, became a character called the Lollipop Lady. So the person who owns it is, is a character who's handing out Lollipops to kids all day. And I think a lot of like recurring Santas, just one thing quick on the way

to the current mythology is that it was just like mainly meeting Santa as part of it. But then I read, here's the owner right before it closed reminiscing about Santas. We've had some pretty good Santas. But over the years, some of these old guys start to really thinking they're Santa. One old guy was here for 18 years almost.

He had his own beard and was very good. But he got to be in his mid-80s. he'd fall asleep in the chair. Oh, my God. Then I had to throw one guy out of the park because he was coming in here and telling kids that our Santa wasn't the real Santa, that he was the real Santa.

No. Some beard guy. Keep showing up. I have a beard. What more proof do you need? Don't trust that guy. Sit on my lap and tell me all your wishes. That's such a funny move to show up to a

Santa theme park and be like, that's not Santa. I'm the real Santa. Arrest that man. Shoot him. Yeah. If you're real, why aren't you allowed in the building? Ask him questions.

He'll not, he won't know like I know. If you're the real Santa, this bullet should bounce right off you. You have powers, don't you? I also, then another, in describing how odd some of the Santas were, he said, we had one guy end up in the booby hatch. And I was like, what's booby hatch? And you Google that, and booby hatch is either like some mechanical part of a ship or it's a different word for Looney Bin.

So now you know that, the booby hatch. Yeah. So I'll try to keep our wits about us and stay out of the booby hatch. Well, that's another thing of. The booby hatch sounds like a problem. If Jason were here, he'd go, oh, we had a booby hatch in town. You'd go visit him. Everyone was very nice.

That's where our Santa was growing up. And to be clear, Jason's not here because he's also scared of Santa. Yeah. You're just calling us out. You're calling us out. Like you see it. You're a truer here. I've been trying to get you. I've been trying to get you to come up. In fact, I got, Mike, we weren't friends yet. So I didn't invite you. But now you have an open invitation. I got as a season passholder. I got my season brist band. I got private invitation only access to the reindeer room. Which is the, which is the, the speakeasy dinner experience that happens in a secret room at Sky Park in Stansville. And I was like, I was like, Scott, let's go to the reindeer room. Let's make, let's, let's, let's live life.

And Scott said, no, I'm too scared of Santa. I think Santa's going to be near me. One wall away is a guy who, you know, like very well could and should belong in the booby hatch. You want to endanger me and bring me in the path of a booby, booby hatch maniac? So they, go ahead. I was just going to ask this reindeer room because like, you know, as soon as there's some sort of exclusivity, I perk up. As soon as I hear, there's some sort of invitation only. That's when you really start to get me, get me going.

You can be a VIP there, too. So, yeah, this is definitely something you should chase. Have you been in the reindeer room? No, because Scott wouldn't go with me. Well, the blame just bounces back. And here's a thing. You're a grown man. I think you're afraid of learning about prohibition.

I'm not scared of Santa. Why would you say that I'm scared of Santa? I'm definitely not scared of Santa. Santa. Oh, interesting. Doth protest too much. Defensive, perhaps. Yeah, yeah.

You're touching it, too. I would say, I'd say anything about Santa. I'd say that Santa sucks. I would say that. Say it, yeah, well, it doesn't seem very confident, but. I know, you said it. Yeah, you said it. I said it.

I said it loud enough that he could hear and maybe not give me presents. I said it. Until you lean out the window and shout Santa sucks, I'm not going to believe that you're not scared at him. But he sees you when you're whispering. He sees you on a podcast, so I guess it doesn't. matter he could hear that's the lyric to the song yeah he could hear it all okay so here i'm gonna i'm gonna text you real quick uh um just a little like what my experience is here okay um so my

the people that i interact with the most are the elves because the elves the the elves are walking the elves and princess evergreen are walking around the most of course yeah yeah the princess in Santa's world. Yes. There are royal titles. Yeah. And then, so the first video you can just see, it's I think it's CJ, Marshmallow, and Jovius

all hanging out on the grass there. Naturally. So they're friends and allies. Yes. And then... J. and Jovius. The second... The second video that I sent you guys and for the listeners, it's a it starts at it as just a shot of a beautiful tree in Sky Park. And then I pan to what is, you know, aside from the Christmas joy that's going on, just like day to day

when you're there on a Friday afternoon mountain biking, kind of what the vibe is. Okay. It's, this is really something where it's, yeah, like, all right, it's trees, it's beautiful, it's a little cottage, and then you kind of zoom into a darkened room, and when the phone adjusts and brightens a little bit, oh, God, it's him, it's Santa. It's terrifying. You're trying to tell me I shouldn't be afraid of Santa, and then you're sending me a video like this. But what's funny is you can imagine, here's what you can imagine is what's not there

is the part right after where this happens a lot where I try to take video of Santa and he sees me and he beckons me forward and then I put my phone away and kind of run away. Oh no. The single finger? That's like an eye wide shut thing. Because I'm an adult with a mountain bike there taking video from far away and then I always find Sandik's I want to send it to my friends. And then Santa looks at me, catches my eyes from, you know, 100 meters away and then beckoned me forward. And And then I immediately put my phone away and, like, scurrying away. This is, like, what happened to me at a wrestling convention when I saw Sergeant Slaughter, and he noticed that I, like, was looking at him too long, and maybe he was trying to take a secret photo of him far away.

He goes, hey, recruit, come over here. And I was like, ah, you're going to get out of here. I'll put you in the camel clutch. And I was like, I don't want, no, thank you, sir. Yeah, and Santa said the same thing to me. Santa's like, ho, ho, ho, ho, I'll put you in the camel clutch. And I was like, no. No, you have infinite powers.

This is what's been established. You're going to break me in two, Santa. It's a match for you. Bullets bounce off of me. I'm trying to think of a good finisher for Santa. The reindeer wrist lock. The chimney smasher. Chimney smasher is good, yeah.

That's just a kick in the groin. Oh, it's the chimney hole. It's the chimney hold where he goes around you and wraps around you like he's the chimney. Yeah and squeezes you out Like anaconda style And he chokes you out that way So

Here's the thing You guys I'm showing you now That there's a lot of these characters And I'll be eating lunch And the characters will come up and start talking to me And of course I want to figure out the lore And so I ask them questions to learn the lore

And you guys may ask yourself This is a pretty small theme park That is half mountain bike park Half children oriented amusement park There's not even like roller coasters or things like that We can get into what's going on there in a second. It's pretty small. So you would ask, like, how many characters are there?

And is there much story? So I just ask you to click the link. And listeners at home, you can go to the Sky Park Santa's Village website, which is skypark, sannisvillage.com and go to the entertainment section. No ads. They cut the at. Yes. And you can scroll down past the wacko show and the puppet shows and the stories of the Northwoods.

Right. To meet the Northwaters. woods characters. I see this. Yes. I see them. Where you will see 15 faces looking back at you. I guess 16 if you count Annie and Augie mushroom separately. And we do count Annie and Augie

separately. Oh, and we do. Right. Wow, this is really something because this is very much like a mix of Santa lore and then like Middle Earth and like a Renfair all tied together. So Mike, do you want to take, if you

want to go through, because Scott, I think you've already clicked through some of these so you might know some of the lore a little bit Mike maybe if you want to just go through and read some of the names aloud and maybe take your best guess as to how they connect or if you want I can sort of just walk you through if you have a question maybe that's the best way to do it you can I can sort of tell you what the what the lore is there well I'll go through obviously they have Santa Claus and Mrs. Holly Claus which I assume is Santa's wife and then they have a very adorable looking mask dog in a suited dog

It's not like a real dog Here's where our different taste comes in Because is Arrow adorable Those eyes are Unsettlingly sharp So I'm gonna ask you a question That I mean with Genuinely this is not a dig or criticism

It is a stylistic observation And it's gonna come in the form of a question Do you guys think that Arrow was created by someone who creates fur suits For furries It is very very very furry like, from what I understand about the furry community, their suits do look very similar to this. So I wouldn't be surprised if you tell me that this was like somebody was

making furry costumes and they had like a leftover and that's what Arrow became. Yeah, so that's Arrow. The sexy dog. The beautiful alluring dog. The beautiful dog with alluring eyes. Yeah. There's eyes. I'll be caught in for this. I'm not going to speak for the next. 10 minutes. I am stuck in Arrow's eyes. Yeah, the eyes are the furry like thing, I think. Delicate features. I could, but if you were opening kind of a lower budget amusement park, I think reaching out to the furry community probably is a smart. Very smart thing to do. I think if you take your hand and you cover Arrow's paws and just look at Arrow's face, it is a little less off-putting.

Yes. The eyes are still there and they're still drawing you in. But the paws up like that give it a very estranged vibe. Kind of this begging gesture, which again is a pose that a dog would do. But there's something about this face and this pose altogether. I can see why you went there. Well, to lay it out even further, Arrow has like sort of like a husky dog. It's like, you know, it looks like a husky kind of. And it's got those piercing husky eyes.

But then it's standing upright on two legs and has sort of hands. and fingers that are more like a human, but with claws. And so it feels like a human has been tortured to live life as a dog in some way. And it's not a short character. This is like a tall. There's a menace to it because it. Not taller than, is it taller than you or just equivalent? Well, I'm like 6'4, so it doesn't get up to me.

But it's, it's Santa's size. It's disconcerting. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, that is a little more. off pudding, I'll give you that. So have you met Arrow? I don't think I have met Arrow. I think maybe I've seen Arrow once in the distance because when I'm there, it's usually like Friday mornings and afternoons, which I think are there sort of like low occupancy time because like kids are at

school. And that's why I try to go there because I'm like, oh, it'll just be mountain biking and I don't have to deal with like throwing. I've tried to go on a Saturday or Sunday sometimes and oftentimes there'll be like a line out the door and that's when I know, keep driving, go to like Snow Valley there's snow summit um but so arrow so here we're going to start diving to the lore and there's a lot to unpack here that i that i've some of this i've gleaned through conversation with the characters and some of it is laid out on the website and i'm sure there's there's even more fiction to dive into okay so santa claus the lore of sky park at santa's village is that santa claus was flying and crash landed into the north woods and when he crashed landed into the north woods and when he crashed landed

into the North Woods, he was met by Arrow, who is like a semi-magical dog who showed up, and then on the website they explained that Santa asked, what is your name, pup? And then Arrow went,

Arro! And he went, oh, Arrow. Okay, because that's the bark sounds like that. The howl sounds like that. Yes, exactly. And he's like a friendly, kind whatever dog that hangs with them. But that's where the story starts, is that Santa crash landed into the North

Woods. Okay. So the village is an accident. He was like, he was like, oh, this is nice. I'll create a village here. Which then, go ahead. I was good. Do you know what happened? Did the reindeer fall asleep or something? Like, how did the crash happen? Okay. He was texting. He got the first, he got a phone thousands of years before anyone else. Okay. So here's where it starts getting complicated that. I don't have all the answers to. And that I think when we all go to Sky Park together, as we've all committed to doing.

Yeah, I'm not afraid. Yeah, I'll do it. Because we're not afraid. We're not afraid. Why would be afraid of we be afraid of Santa? No one on here is afraid. You hear that, our various moms? We're not afraid.

His big furry hands can't really grab us and hurt us. Okay, so here's going to get complicated. Jack Frost took Santa's magic key. And then also hid Father Time on a block of ice. And I believe that... God damn it. I believe that it seems like Santa was trying to recover his magic key that Jack Frost had stolen. And if you scroll down, you can see Jack Frost kind of has like a little bit of like a, like a steam punk.

He's like a steam punk. Yeah. Like winter guy. Crossed with like Russell Brand. rock rock star fur he looks like there's a video game character

and I'm trying to think of who I'm thinking of it's not like ratchet and clank or something like there's a fox character video I don't know I'll figure it out he looks like some some character

but then Jack Frost is around and Jack Frost's sister is also around who is a princess yes so Jack's Frost sister is is Princess Snowfall. Not Princess Sugarplum.

Yes, but Yes, not Princess Sugar Flum. But I, okay, I don't want you to read, or maybe you should read right now Princess Snowfall's story because it sort of taps into how brutal this world is.

Okay. Do you want me to read it out loud? Could you read it out loud for us? Princess Snowfall, born on an ice cold Winter Day to King Crispin and Queen Iceland Frost. Princess Snowfall and her brother, Prince Jack Frost, he's a prince, grew up playing in the cold weather and creating snow. The Queen of Frost taught Princess Snowfall all about the four seasons and how these seasons help the environment. Princess Snowfall's favorite season to learn about, of course, was winter. She believed it was the most important because the water from rain and snowfall give life to the plants that give them food.

Great. This is all positive and great. This is perfect. This is wonderful. It seems like everyone's getting along great. One day, Queen Iceland went to the village to get food for her children. It was a very sunny day, and the queen got much too close to the sun, and she melted away. So parent deaths remain consistent from the vision of the founder. When you're going back to that guy's real life. When Princess Snowfall received the news about her mother, she took it very hard. She was very close to her mother.

Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Was Queen Frost made of ice? Because a person wouldn't just, I just don't think that was conveyed. Because I'm like, is a person's not just going to melt from the sun? Well, I think you can infer that she was made of snow and ice. She was a hell of a way to find out. One day she went to the village to get food for her children and melted to death. Where is that food?

She'll be back any minute, won't she? was, oh, is there a father in the picture here? Was she married, was like, were her parents, well, they named checked him, right? Yes, he's named, oh yeah, yeah, sorry. Can you meet King Crispin? No, King Crispin is not a walk-around character. No, King Crispin is not there.

He is Lord. Not to be met. Were they both snow people? I think so. Were they like Frosty's snow people? So then is Princess Snowfall made of snow? And is Jack Frost made of snow? Well, what you should know is that

however in time, She became grateful for the time she and her mother had and promised herself that she would do her part in educating everyone in the North Woods about the four seasons and the importance of snow in the winter. She makes sure not to come out during the warmer months in fear that she might melt if she gets too close to the sun like her mother. You can find her roaming the North Woods during the winter. So this character's whole deal is her going up to kids and being like, we need snow this winter. If you don't have snow, your parents might melt away and die. And she's listed under seasonal characters. So she's only there during the winter?

Yeah, Mike. Of course she is. If your mother melted away while getting food for Hugh, don't you think you'd probably avoid the summer at that point? I guess I would be a lesson I would learn, yeah. Is this more because they knew that they didn't have the budget for Princess is no fall to hear during the summer? Let's invent a backstory and justify.

They, they, can't have your character because she's scared of the summer, not because you can't afford to keep you on year round. It just wouldn't make sense. Kids who were following the canon. Or mountain bikers who were oddly invested in the canon.

Or that one adult who keeps asking our characters questions. Single one who taxed. Okay, so that's kind of like the world that we're living in. Here, God, brutalist. Death and royalty. Here's where I start getting a little

confused. And maybe you guys can help me work this out. So there's King Selwyn Clause, which if you go to the top. He's a primary. He's character number four. We don't have to read all of it, but Mike, if you want to just, like, break down some of King Selwyn's situation. He's Santa's brother, and he's the king of the Northwoods,

and he's husband of Queen Wisdom and father of Prince Evergreen. Princess Evergreen. Oh, oh, sorry, Princess Evergreen, yes. And as a young man, Selwyn won the heart of Princess Wisdom, and married her. Since then, Selwyn and Wisdom have looked after the Northwoods as king and queen. So Santa's brother is really in charge, and Santa just kind of works there. But he's certainly in with the king. But it's also a brutalist world where I could see brothers murdering brothers. Yes. And on top of that, Selwyn is the storyteller of Santa's village. So he's the one that like sort of sits everywhere on the fire.

Like you can go to like story time that he tells you stories of this world. But the thing that's not lining up to me is it seems too much of a coincidence that santa crash landed in the north woods which happens to be the woods where his brother lives yeah well that was my question was this all the was the kingdom established later did he call his deadbeat brother and go i got a great opportunity for you to seize power or is it the inverse where i'm like did king selwyn hire jack frost to steal the magic key as a way to lure Santa to the North Woods to be like, and this is pretty cool.

You know, because Santa's kind of the rich brother, right? That's like King Selwyn lives in the woods and Santa's off in the North Pole and a mansion giving like, you know, trillions of dollars of gifts away and like Selwyn's like talking to Queen Wisdom and is like, we got to find a way to get Santa to invest in this place. And so they sort of crash land and they were like, wow, it's pretty great. And Santa's like, all right, we'll create a village here.

I buy that. He's like the celebrity sibling who never calls. and now they're trying to soak him for tourism books. Yes. Yeah, he's, yeah, I was just going to, he's the keeper of stories,

it says. So he tells stories. Yes. As well. So he controls the narrative. This is, this is like controlling the press. Right.

But here's what confuses me is why King Selwyn ended up, because King Selwyn is only the king because he married Queen Wisdom Clause. And Queen Wisdom grew up in the, I think it's, the kingdom of Borealis and the Northwoods are her birthright handed down by her father and

so she's nothing. He just married into this. Yes. And when she came of age, wisdom fell in love with the charming Prince Selwyn and they were married and crowned king and queen of the North Woods. Soon after Wisdom gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Prince Evergreen or Princess Evie, as we all

call her. Yeah, this makes even less sense, though. This is even more suspicious because like they were like there already his these people were there already and then he moved like a crash landing it seemed like this had to be on purpose all of this said there's a purposeful nature to this story yes there's because there's this world of kings and queens and all this and then santa happens to crash land there and found a universe there i don't believe it i don't yeah i'm calling i don't believe it i think copy the mythology there's a lot of of shadiness here i think

this might be fake too. I agree. And then Queen Wisdom also runs an apothecary, a place where the elves can pick up medicine when they are feeling ill. So she's also kind of controlling the health narrative. She's kind of an RFK of her time. There's a phantom thread thing going on here where she makes the elf sick. She has to be careful by her. Also, I hate to say this, but like, I don't think Princess Snowfall's mother was killed by the son. I think that there was some sort of inside job. This is kind of an Epstein kill himself type situation here.

I don't believe that either. Okay, they release video of it to shut you up. But the video is weird because trees, big old trees, block a lot of the views. So I guess that figure crossing back there is Princess Snowfall's mom. But it's again, it's just like the way the cameras were set up is really suspicious. Yeah, it doesn't line up. And it's like, there's a bunch of emails

that you can find about it, but then like there's a bunch of stuff redacted. And it's information between Jack Frost and someone who, like, it's not clear who it is, but at one point, they laugh about, um, um, about, um, about, about so infelating arrow. And you kind of like, oh, I think they all knew each other more than, but does it mean that arrow or was that just a nickname for somebody else? Or is that code for something? I mean, that's what makes it so confusing. And then there's a guy. in these emails named Michael Wolf

but it's not that guy from New York it's a wolf actually again a very furry looking wolf furry wolf but then if you go to Michael Wolf's Twitter it's all of him just like trying to expose stuff about Arrow but like for whatever reason it never like gets into mainstream media

and a lot of people are like discrediting him and being like you know the things that he's saying are just like sort of his POV and like Arrow would never do that but I don't know there's enough of it that I'm a little uncomfortable he's deep in the world for sure. You also read, you know, she's Queen Wisdom Clause and Wisdom

implies kind of like intelligence like people turn to her because of the wisdom, but then you read the emails and it's full of misspellings and I'm like, I think Queen Wisdom's kind of dumb. Well, that's, and I think you would think that, but it's not wisdom as you would think, because if you look, Scott,

it's actually spelled W-Y-S-D-O-M. Oh, that's a misspelling right there. That shows you that her, it's a way to treat out loud she must be very wise and you've got to look in the fine print to see it's no it's not wisdom it's like imitation crab so the characters

that I spend the most time talking to are Princess Evergreen jovious crowd slayer C.J Cuffelbug Marshall and marshmallow and tinsel Game of Thrones names but then C.J. Cuffelbug shows up

yeah so CJ Coflebug is an elf okay so there's also a thing here that I that you guys have to help me work out that I've tried to figure out is that the original Santa's Village guy created a whole world of creatures that he referred to as the Vindekins

that I'm saying out loud but I'm worried is an offensive phrase that I don't know what it means and if you Google it, he claims that it's like a Norwegian folk word for like little people but if you Google it the only thing that comes up is Santa's Village

in articles about this guy explaining these people. That's the Vindicants Is that what you said, or is the, what's the spelling there? V-I-N-D-I-C-A-N-S. Oh, V-I-N-A-N-S. Okay, okay. Is he just making, like, his own version of, like, the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz, maybe? I think so, because there's so much, like, Norwegian lore that has to do with elves, that I'm like,

why would he invent his own? And so, technically, some of these characters are part of the world of the Vindikins. But, again, I'm saying this out loud, and I'm so sorry. if this is like a horrible word that means something that I don't understand Oh my God. J.D. said the V word so many times. I can't believe they released it. I know. I think you can just count on most people just being confused and I think you'll be fine. I think

everything will be all right. Do we know, are these characters? Have they lasted? Are they from? Are they new? Are they? Do we know any of that? They have to be new. It seems like they're new. I think if they weren't new, there'd be some more problematic stuff in there. but like yeah I can't have updated they could update some of it I suppose

listen I only know from the past from 2024 and 2025 that's the sky park that I know wow this is wow this is um there was that park that did clow evermore which we never got out too that was basically like a very immersive it didn't have rides or anything it was just very

immersive with its storytelling or whatever and I almost feel like there's a vibe of that here in this yes for sure that's kind of what they're that's kind of what they're banking on as far as you enjoying this like original story you could fully just get immersed and follow threads with uh c f c j couple bug and with c j couple bug may or may not be vindicans and twinkles the tree santa's very own animated christmas tree that's the description on the website

yes it's a little cheaper than arrow i'll say and uh in it's the twinkle's suit looks like shit That's a little more spare in Halloween. Mike, Mike, take that back. Apologized to Twinkles. I mean, look, I'll do the classic apology. If I offended you, I apologize about what I just said about Twinkles' suit. You know what? I'll let you have that criticism, but I need three compliments about Twinkles.

Okay, all right, fair enough. We're going off a very small photo. The photo doesn't get bigger when you click on it. So you've got to come up with a lot here in a tiny little box. I also think it's just that, like, I think they do, like, a little, like, Christmas mini parade, like, on, like, Saturdays during Christmas time. And my guess is they just wanted, like, a walking tree. And then someone was like, I guess he's technically one of our characters. I think also that the suit being bad is why they say that it's animated.

Oh, my God. You just said another bad thing. Yeah. Okay. Mike, you now have to do six compliments. Okay. Well, hold on. I'll save it up for the end.

I'll save it up for the end of the episode. He accidentally says more things. I don't want to veer off of this mythology if there's things that remain to be said about this mythology. But what I, what's interesting to me is that, I mean, I spark to this area of the website big time as well. And I like places like this that get to flesh out the reality of Santa's situation, which is, I was about to say Santa's situation is very fluid, which seems like I'm talking about his dating life, which it may be. Santa situation ship is very fluid. Santa's situationhip with Mrs. Holly Claus.

But like, basically, like, so many Santa things have a lot of leeway to invent a bunch of other stuff about who Santa is surrounded by and what Santa's backstory is and just what else is going on in the world of Santa. And I bring this up because in reading about the history of these places, I believe that all. of the Santa's villages may have been a shooting location of a weird little short from 1964 called Santa Claus and his helpers and I

was like oh I wonder if that's findable and it is in like really beat up old film quality on YouTube but I have video clips from Santa Claus and his helpers and these convey a totally different Santa mythology with Santa things that I've never ever heard

before but that I think are worth checking out and discussing. One thing that you guys might notice, and I'll try to post these clips as well, but since you're going to see them before the listeners, see if you agree with me that this short has an unbelievably creepy air. Would you play that first clip, Mike? This is Santa's wondrous laboratory in his castle high above the North Pole and far out in space.

In it is located. The Magic Telephone. Talker. Connected to the hear-all ear. The behavior computer that registers the good and bad deeds of children of all ages. Okay. So among the things we've seen there, the magic teletalker, which is a giant pair of real undulating lips submerging from a big boxy old computer. Yeah.

And then there's a satellite. with an ear in it. And all of these things come together to spy on all children's thoughts to determine whether they're not e or nice. Wait, what's the teletalker? I understand what the ear is doing. It's listening to everyone's conversations. And I understand what the clown-shaped computer is doing.

It's doing a palenteer-like processing of everyone's thoughts and feelings to categorize them. What are the lips doing? I don't know. Yeah, maybe the full clip would illuminate that more, which I, I don't have, but yeah, why do they need, they need to listen to kids. Does the teletalker just end up like, he's naughty? This one's nice.

The rest are naughty. The mouth is just keeping itself moist, it looks like. Yes, it's not doing anything. It's just staying wet. Puckering. That is a disturbing size of mouth. It's like it could swallow, it couldn't eat your whole body, but it could swallow your head and keep your head locked in its lips for a good couple of minutes.

It's Sadden Marty Croft-ish. Definitely. Babes and Toyland vibe to the movie. Yeah, yeah. It kind of feels like Inframan, the Shaw Brothers' superhero. Yeah, I don't think I know it either. That's a good one. That's a good one.

Anyway, it's all... Oh, okay, yeah. Well, a question that I have that I don't want the answer to is, like, if you got a mouth, you got to put something in it. What's going in that mouth? Because it would just be a... Like, how do they feed the teletalker? If it was just audio coming out, that's a speaker.

That's a mouth, which implies that there's a two-way street there. So what are we having to put it in that mouth? What does Santa have to put in there? Oh, no. I don't know. A reindeer meat. Each year he slaughters the reindeer who's behaving the least and spied on by the big ear satellite.

Everyone has the most Unpure heart Gets fed to the teletalker Are you suggesting Santa's putting his own tongue In the mouth of the computer? No, I was thinking more like he's feeding it elves or something But Mike, if you want Santa to kiss that big mouth, I'm all about it.

Fluid situation, so he could He invented the teletalker, so it's his right to do whatever he wants. All right, everybody out of the lab. That's time for Santa to have his time. Some private experiments to do. I mean, at that point, it's not just the tongue, but Make sure the ears are off.

The ear thing doesn't apply to Santa. Santa writes new rules for himself. Just unplug that to make extra sure it's off. I'm going to do a forced power outage throughout the pole. All the power shuts down to all the elves are like, we know what's happening. Santa's having his time again Everyone's face is just like upset

Waiting Why is everyone so tense So sad is a bit So there's one slice of disturbing And then if you go to Clip number two and forgive me There's a big pause between the action But maybe the pause will give us time to discuss

Thing number one Before we're deeply unsettled by thing number two So let's see Santa Santa Helpers 2 Film that Santa his village. Using the fifth dimension invented by his close friend Merlin, the magician, Santa Claus can be seen everywhere whenever he pleases.

So Santa, Santa, Santa's friend Merlin invented the fifth dimension, and that is why Santa can go wherever he needs to go. Great mythology. And then buckle up. Oh, that awful smell. I should give you 17 slots before I kick you out of the size village. Oh, boy. Is that arrow?

It could be a proto arrow, yes. It's a angry dog. With a bayonet. The really, yes, with a big, with a gigantic rifle, like, much bigger than, I mean, there's long rifles, but then this one's twice his size. that's a terrifyingly long gun and he's slapping a skunk in the head I'm so mad you I gave me 17 slaps before

I this is the scariest fucking shit This is like scary yeah This is snuffy I'm really disturbed by this thing Found footage This feels like This feels like the FBI is going to knock at our door Because we walked this

And therefore and the last listener for listening to it. When we say it's a dog, I don't know how to describe what we're actually seeing. It's a loose dog-shaped man wearing big black overalls

with a snout that goes down to his midsection in eyes that seems sunken and angry. A droopy long snout. It's the flappiest mouth that just like that he could just like, you know, bang his head up and down. It just flaps and flaps and

anger. I've found that at the beginning of the short, they say the names of these characters. One is Stinky the skunk and one is the ferocious wolf. Stinky the skunk, the creator of the Stinky Feet game in Dundee. Oh, wow, you're right. It does all tie together. It's a consistent mythology. And I do do not understand why this menacing Texas chainsaw massacre dog is holding what appears to be an eight-foot rifle with bayonet. It's so long, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it's not the only weapons

that come into play, because later a cat comes in who is mad about the way that the wolf is treating the skunk, and then Santa shows up and wants the cat to punish them both, and the cat pulls out like a big blade

and goes, walk! And then Santa goes, ha ha! ha! And these two characters to a walk of shame due to the fight that they were just in at knife point. This seems like Island this is Island of Dr. Moro shit.

I'm I'm calling total BS on the lore of Sky Park at Santa's Village. This is a whitewashing of a history that is replete with horrific acts and violence. Like clearly skunk abuse. Clearly this is

real and what we're reading on that website is like a glossed over fiction meant to sort of avoid facing the real history of Skypark. But maybe those, I think maybe King Selwyn Clause and Queen Wisdom Clause do exist because we know that they like controlling media narratives. So I think they made up all this other stuff and hired actors to distract from the disturbing true history. Yes, I think these characters are all part of this world, but their stories, we're reading like the corporate forward-facing thing where it's like, you know, we hear at BP love the environment. And it's like, what they're not saying is like, yeah, like, King Selwyn like isn't allowed out of Sky Forest because like he's got a

bunch of like court cases in Los Angeles for like animal endangerment and like violence towards skunks that he like helped do so that they could like get an edge on like gold mining in the 30s or whatever. That's why he had to bring Santa to him. Like I'll just, all right. Yeah, I got to get him here. Let's steal his key and then we'll ground him. This is horrific. What was the key? What was Santa's key? What did it unlock? Mike, why did you ask about the key? Because I don't know and they keep referencing Santa's magic key. And my question is, what's the key open and why is it magic? I saw the key in a different bit of mythology. But the way this website works, you have to click on like a little plus symbol on all these characters. And there's 15 to choose from. I don't

know where I'm going to mind the one one of them had some fucking other shit about oh here we go here did you know that cj cuffelbug is the keeper of santa's magic key yes scott of course i fucking knew that i'm sorry i don't mean to swear you can i was just reading a quote

you take that up with the website but the of course i know that about cj scufflebug cj is the one that talked to the most oh so you but did you ever see a key did you ever see a key dangling off of cj or a key shaped

uh uh imprint in her pocket or something? No, because if you did that, Jack Frost would just come snatch it because that's how Jack Frost operates. Oh, so she keeps it under lock-end key. So there's probably a different key to where she keeps the key.

Yes. And also, I think it's something that I also want to bring up because I think it's important to how terrifying this world is, is Jovious Crowd Slayer Yeah, we kind of missed him. If you look to see what his backstory is,

he's a puppet that Santa found in the woods because Jack Frost thought he could be helpful and then wasn't and so Jack Frost threw him away and then that puppet slowly grew into a real man

and that's jovious. No, this is my nightmare. This is exactly what I don't want to happen to any puppet. This is my dream. It's a puppet coming to life in my house and becoming friends with me and making me amused. I would love a Paul Winchell. Agreeing with you about everything.

Knucklehead Smith, Paul Winchell's famous character coming to life. A very famous, iconic, everyone knows. Jerry Mahoney. And then just complimenting you about, I agree. Brad Whitford does look great. Yeah. What a good blouse he has on. If you could have one toy come to life, Mike, what would it be?

Ooh, that's a good question. Great question. let's see I'm going to say that it's the hunky ace duck figure that I have here because he's just so

I would be so it would be so fun to hang out with him Hold on off I'll show you it Yeah go get him if he's not glued to the shelf Oh he's reachable glued I mean here he is He's ace that's a wrestler I think so

Mike he's in the thong And he's got a huge bulge And his tail is coming out of the other side. Yeah, but he's like, cool. This is the character? I mean, this is the first guy. I mean, maybe I'll think twice later, but.

You'll try to think of a character who doesn't have a massive bulge out of a red thong. He could put clothes. He's not stuck wearing just this thong. You're not going to make him wear clothes. I'm not going to make him do anything, but he could because maybe it's too cold in here once he comes to life. Okay, Mike, I've got a, I've got a toy quiz for you because you're a big, you're a big toy guy. I am, yes.

I'm going to see if I can see if I can see. stump you with a toy that I was just showing people because it's a part of my family lore and I think it'll help give a window into the complicated family dynamic that I have let's see which one should I show

darker than a wolf smacking a skunk around great so Mike I'm going to show you some characters and I'm going to see if you can tell me what IP they're from Scott you can play along as well here I'll try but I'll fail hold on let me see oh god hold on Let me maximize your screen here. He looks familiar to me, but I got no guess.

I don't know who that is. Is he a mascot for icy machines? Yeah, if you guys want to describe him to the listeners. He's like blue and he's got red lightning bolts on his pecks. Mr. Free's adjacent. And yeah, just real ripped kind of robot-y guy. Yeah, they got boxing gloves. Was there some sort of rock'em-sockom robot TV show that I'm forgetting?

one is gold one's got a mohawk I'm shocked that Mike doesn't have I know I'm humiliated here that I don't Well this is a deep cut that it's I don't know It's almost a hidden in plain sight cut And if there's people that are listeners that That know a little bit about my family situation Because this is something that Ultraman

This is something that I cataloged Back when I had social media I cataloged this aspect of my family very publicly. So there's some people that might know what I'm showing Mike right now. Huh. You shouldn't know any of these people. Okay. It wouldn't be a common

thing. Well, one is two-headed robot, but they're also battling. You've got so many. We've seen five now. This is six. Wow. Okay. What are they? These are the robots from the movie Real Steel.

Oh, from the newer movie. Yes. And now, what if I told you... Go ahead. What if I told you that Real Steel is the favorite film of my father? Wow. Really? If you ask my dad what his favorite movie is of all time, period, with no disclaimers, he will look you in the eye and say, Real Steel.

Real Steel, 2011, starring Hugh Jackman, directed by Sean Levy. Wow. That's wild. Really strengthens the Levy film. which is already people, he's already I feel like becoming the director and now he's got a mega fan in your dad.

I've talked about this a lot publicly but I, this was maybe about whatever, 10 years ago I started coming home to visit the North Subway Chicago and my dad would be watching real steel maybe weekly, maybe

multiple times a week. I think he watched it at least once a week for about a year and would be like sit down and watch real steel with me and so I'd sit down and watch real steel and my dad would cry

during moments of real steel he would get very emotional during it and then there was a time a year later where I got into his car and listened to music and I was like dad what are we listening to and he was like this is the real steel soundtrack oh my god and then at one point I was talking about

music with my dad, and I was like, what's your favorite musician? And he was like, oh, it's um, Alexi, whatever. And I was like, Alexi, whatever. And he's like, yeah, the composer of real steel. And so, I've also just looked up the real steel soundtrack. And it's, I will say, there's just to compare dads. There's no way on earth that my dad is, is suddenly listening to Royce to 5-9 and limp biscuit artists on the real steel soundtrack. So my dad likes to like score of real steel. Okay, not the music from the, okay, okay. The crystal methods in there? So then for my birthday, in a way that I think is very sweet,

but it's like when a cat brings a dead bird to its owner, my dad gifted me all of the robots from Real Steel. For you. A movie that I've seen once, but that he watches every. And it was, when I opened them, he was like, and that's so-and-so, and that's so-and-so, and that's so-and-so, and that's oh, and that's so-and-so, you know. it's like this is like

I turn around and I guarantee you he's like playing with them in the corner does he have his own set of them too or no he has to I don't know for a fact can you what are the names of the robot do you know them offhand I mean my dad

I could he would know yeah yeah if I called my dad now he would be able to like say them outright one at a time is uh can I take a leap is uh is Griffin aware of all this, and could he name the characters? Griffin is obsessed with the fact that my dad is obsessed with real steel.

Okay, yes. Yeah, I imagine he would spark to this. I can text my dad and see. Or I could call my dad and see if he. Can you name the? Let me just give him a ring. We'll see. Are you actually good?

All right. Let's try JD's dad. Let's see. It's going to be. I thought they were older. I feel better. I was worried they would be a childhood. Hey, dad, real quick, I'm on a podcast, and we're talking about real steel.

Okay. Can you name all of the robots from real steel? No, I thought about it. I mean, my memory's not good. I mean, I'd have recall. I mean, in fact, I remember that gift I gave you for Christmas, which were, you know, the replica of all of them, which I thought they were unbelievable. They were so cool. Yeah.

we liked them they're great oh you can't hear us he's in headphones okay guys I was trying to figure out the names of them and I couldn't figure out the names of them I was showing off the toys and explaining how this was your favorite movie and I was like I don't know all of their names

I was like maybe you know them yeah and by the way just for the record if it's being taped and listened to right now it is one of the all-time great movies to ever watch so yes I still hold I still stand by that. And who's the composer? I can't remember. Oh, uh, um, Alexei something.

Alexei Murdoch, yeah. Okay. Wow. Wow. Um, do, could you explain in a sentence what, what it is that speaks to him about it? Um, the, the hosts are asking if, if, what's, what's like the one sentence pitch about why it's a great movie? Well, it's, it's the Rocky with robots. I mean, that's it. I mean, and, and I just, thought the father-son relationship was really good, too. Wow, well, hence the putting it in front of you. Yeah, those robots are so awesome, yeah, and especially the evil, God, I can't think of the name of the big robot now, the one that they fought at the very

year, but, yeah, it was a rocky version in robots. Zeus? Is it Zeus? Zeus, they're saying. Yes, Zeus. Oh, my God. When Zeus enters, I mean, there's. just so awesome you know so yeah i thought they did a good job with that that's great all right well i was

trying to talk about it and i was like i was like i won't be able to do it justice so you had i'd call the expert will you will you tell him he survived podcast the ride say his full name and then say you survive podcast the ride that's what they're said there's their podcast is called podcast the ride and the way they exit is by saying uh john amato you've said you've survived podcast the ride so they're thanking you for being on the show and thank you for having me on the show of course all right thanks I appreciate it. All right. Bye.

Bye. Wow. That's a podcast The Riot Innovation. That was great. And also very tidy. That was like it's as if he had been prepped that you need to have a tight minute about this film. It is like, it feels like you could wake him up out of a sound sleep and he could do that. Yeah.

I mean, this is, listen, I have my favorite movie, which is Labyrinth, which I have a whole multiple shelves of Labyrinth. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. His is real steel. And I actually think it's when you're, you know, when people's favorite movie is like the godfather or like what it's like, yeah, that's fine. But like when I feel like he's got to be one of one in terms of like top of the list is real steel. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. I don't even think Sean Levy has that at the top of his list. Does he remember the names of the robots? Oh, I wonder. Interesting. I wonder. Sean Levy's been a big presence this year because we did a live show in which we played the clip from Big Fat Liar where Paul Giam Mottie falls down the old Mexico hill.

We played it 19 times in a live show. So Sean Levy is emerging late in the year as PTR's man of the year. Listen, and that's how it should be in 2025. Not for any of the recent stuff. We aren't talking about the Ryan Reynolds stuff, but other shit. Oh, my God. I'm like, I'm blown away by all. I don't know where we go from here.

I mean, we got to wind it down. I feel like to, but we should get a chance to like anything that you did not get out, you know, while you have this pulpit about this odd amazing place. Yeah, I mean, I think if you go to the website and you look at the things to do and you go to activities, you'll see that there's like a gazillion things to do. And it is a great, very active place for children. I would say what's nice about it is that like it's not a lot of like, there's zero roller coasters or rides. It's all like active things like playgrounds and climbing walls and ice rinks and, you know, bike, you know, like a, they have a thing called the B-line, which is like you like, it's a pedal powered sort of like rail assisted thing that hangs you in the air. They have zip lines. On the track, on the former monorail track of the main thing I remember from when I was a kid.

And my memories of it are very fuzzy. I remember liking it, but I got, I got nothing like story-wise. but the most notable thing they had was a little monorail that was shaped like a B so there was B monorail so they repurposed the track and made it this like more kind of

a daring you pedal a bike thing around it Yes and I didn't know that I didn't know that that's why it's called the B rail But the last thing that I would like to instill in you all that's very important that's hidden in the folds of all of this is that obviously

throughout the bike park there's a little hidden like gnome houses and like if you stop biking and look out into the forest you'll see little gnome houses and little like fairy stuff that's like themed throughout the entire park but there's also another theme to the park and if you go to the activity section it would go down to the very bottom at the bottom right you'll find another theme that's hidden in the folds of the park how can they have more uh let's see I'm passing by by the way they there's all this stuff they have archery they have axes it is like it seems like it's successful as like an adults play part like they have the

the way that adults like to play. They also have something called a Wacko's Magic Show that is one of my favorite things. I've tried to record the audio of it when they do announce it because I'll be sitting in them to go, Wacko's Magic Show starts in 15 minutes. Make sure to make your way to the theater.

And it's a magic show that happens like every hour. That sounds very Casa Benita. That sounds like the announcements in Casabinita. Yes. But if you go to the bottom of activities and go to the very bottom on the far right, Oh, I see it. You can tell me the, I can show you the other aspect

that is part of my experience there that also is a complicated, funny part of this. Why, it's the Chapel of the Little Shepherd. This seems like where Santa and his wife go to church. If you go click on it, read the description of it. The quaint chapel of the Little Shepherd originally constructed in 1955 has been lovingly restored. Steal away from the exciting adventures of Sky Park's other attractions

for a peaceful moment of reflection and prayer. You'll love the nativity scene during Christmas time. The chapel is also available for wedding. where you can sign your marriage certificate or have a simple ceremony. Wow. Okay, you can get married at Sky Park at Santa's Village. And I actually believe that's one of their main sources of income because whenever I go there, there is either a wedding going on or there is a tour for a wedding happening where they're

showing a whole family of people around the facility and walking through all the things that are available to them. And it's funny because you'll be sitting there and like mountain bike gear and there'll be like a family walking through and they'll be like great and then you know during the day you can have like your whatever bachelor and bachelor's up party here and we have these food places and it's like I sort of always feel kind of like I'm I feel like you know like they're getting a tour and I'm like in the way and like I'm like oh I won't be there for the wedding don't worry like this will be more Christmassy and not like random guy with a bike but an aspect to it that always happens that at

first I did not understand what was going on and then I pieced it together was that I would say three of the first five times when I went to Santa's Village. I went to use the restroom and in the restroom next to me again, this is like three of the first five weekends I went there. So it was not the same situation. It was clearly a different

situation. I would be using the restroom and next to me in a stall would be a man vomiting at full force. I go and I was like, what is going on here? And then I realized I think when they give a tour of this place, they have like

a wine tasting or a drink tasting thing. And so I think frequently people are over-serving themselves on these tours and then end up in this same bathroom, like yaking at full capacity. And it is like, it's like three times it happened where it was so loud and so present that it almost seemed like a joke, but also seemed like, you know what's happening? You're like, I don't want to be in this room because this person seems like sick, sick. Oh my gosh. Vomiting multiple times.

So that's like the third rung of the Santa's Park experience. It's like there's this like weird wedding energy floating around as well. And you're sure it's not a character like Prince Gluggloved or something, the town in Biber. Or it's like Jack Frost like going through withdrawal symptoms like after he tries to go clean. Yeah. Possible. Sir chugs a lot. Or Santa himself.

chugsy yeah it's but I honestly think it's a genuinely magical place because you guys are more amusement park

or theme park guys than I am for sure so you you probably know more places that are like this but like the fact that it exists seems like a combination of like coincidence and sheer will

in terms of like this place in the like an hour and a half away from a major city that is both like Christmas themed which is

such a niche that is so specific, but also is like an outdoorsy, connective community place, because there's also lots of concerts there when I go and like community events happening and bike races. And so it is strange because you go there and it doesn't feel like one thing. It feels like three things overlapping. So I really, and the drive there is beautiful and the town around is very quaint, interesting. So like, I think if you're ever in the LA area and you have like slightly more active kids and you don't want to do something that's like screens and rides and like getting them out there climbing on things and doing stuff. It's actually a pretty cool place. And I think they're trying to, the fact that they're having like weird speak

easies and like these like strange, like as much as we're joking about it, like the fact that they have like 20 themed characters that like roam around and like stay in immersive, you know, story mode, I think is like really great because there's a version of this that could be just very like passive and sort of like perfunctory. And instead it's like they're trying to trying to add a lot of magic to this. So I think it's a cool place. And, like, I can't wait for the fact that we're all going to go together. Well, look, what is also made me want to go is I have clicked on the website to their concert section.

And they call this concert series tunes in the trees, which I like. I like anytime, you know, like eat to the beat at Epcot or garden rock. So this is called tunes in the trees. And can I just read some of the acts? Read some of the acts. So this is very up here. Okay, so they have, like, they have Mad Bee, who is a 90s tribute of some kind, but then they have the police experience, which is, of course, a police tribute band.

They have Atomic Punks, the Van Halen tribute. They have credenced, the CCR tribute. They have Yachti by nature, which is not Yachtley Crew, but I assume it's the same gimmick. I assume they all wear sailor outfits and they play. They play some songs that are considered yacht rock. but Scott would probably object. I got a lot of rules about this. Right.

And then, you know, there's other things here. There's the burning doors, doors tributes. Steve's rock and roll time machine. Now, what I like to point about Steve's rock and roll time machine is that it's got a very specific date range of what music it covers. Yes. Oh, just 60s through 2010. But it stops at 2010.

There's nothing past 2010. No, no boom boom pow. No, no, five. wire work. Get out of here. Here's something you should know about me is that as a kid I was a big Tim Burton fan

and that led to one of my favorite bands a kid being Oingo Boingo. Which I have complicated feelings about now for, you know, I wanted to get into all that. But they do have

one of the only 18 plus events is Dead Man's Party and Oingo Boingo Tribute Band that happened in October. Yeah, why is that 18 plus? I think because like, if you really listen to Oinkgo Boeongo, you're like, hold up.

Oh, is that so? I don't know. The music well enough. What's going on here? I see. I see. Interesting. That's where Santa and Holly Claus go to work some stuff out.

They get wild at Dead Man's Party. Wow. So, yeah, this really, this jumps it up another notch in my book to have programming like this. Yeah. And that fulfills your requirement of music. music. Any music. All of these

Steve's Rock and Roll Time Machine appeals to me the most I think. Just the name only.

Do you want to look up Steve's Rock and Roll Time machine? I'm doing it currently. But just have that

ready to go. As you guys both get quieter, it's because everyone's looking up Steve's Rock and just all.

Yeah, listeners give us a sec, just give us a sec, just get a website to read. I, geez,

well this might be the place for us. And it might be the place for all of us. And it will be. not afraid. I'm not afraid of Santa. Well, I think this episode should be titled Sky Park at Santa's Village One.

Then two comes after we have done it. Because we make a day of it. You guys all have kids, right? I think. Yeah. Yeah. And I've done Big Bear and I, you know, I'm not afraid of the drive. I did it with a child on board. And I'm really good at the drive now. So you drive. You drive all of our families. Get a bus. You bring the kids up. You spend the day doing all the activities, doing the stuff. You know, then maybe in the evening, there's got to be some sort of way to stash the kids away. It's got to be babysitting it. Put them somewhere so we can hit that reindeer room, baby.

So we can go to the reindeer room and get a little exclusive look. And, you know, maybe Wacko will be hanging around and we can, you know, clink drinks with Wacko and, you know, C.J. Hufflepuff. And, you know, let loose. Yeah, yeah. Marshmallow's going to babysit you. You'll be fine. You stay with marshmallow. You stay with marshmallow.

We'll meet up to head. And we can all dance to Steve's rock and roll time machine. And we will be back. We won't melt. I promise. Oh, man. You know what? It does sound like a time.

Talking about it has been a time. This has been so much fun. J.D. Yamato, you survived. Podcast The ride. Much as your father before you. My dad beat me to it. He beat you to the exit. But let's exit through the gift shop.

Is there anything you'd like to plug? Yeah. I mean, this is the first place where I'll officially announce that I have a middle grade graphic novel coming out from Simon and Schuster in April of 2026. It's called The Endless Game, written by me, illustrated by Sophie Morris. It's available for pre-order now, anywhere that you buy books. So your local bookstore will have it for pre-order or whatever online retailer you use. It's there. So feel free to pre-order it. And yeah, I'm excited for that. And then watch the undercovers on Amazon Prime Sports. If you're a sports, if you're a sports. had more episodes coming out soon. That's great. That's great. So glad we could do this. Thank you for listening and reaching out to us and putting this together. I'm so glad.

Yeah, yeah, so much fun. As for us, for three bonus episodes every month, check out podcast to ride the second gate or get one more bonus episode on our VIP tier. Club three, you'll find that at patreon.com slash podcast The Ride, where if you want more Santa content, we have been voted into all of us having to go experience different L.A. Mall Santas and reviewing them.

So if you're not through with the merger of us and Santa, and how could you be after the, you know, the hearing about Santa's giant lip machine he built, there's more happening at the Patreon. Okay. You owe us something, Mike. Oh, yeah. I do. I do. I've shared the screen, though. Can you see what I'm doing here?

Not yet. No. Not yet. Okay. Well, then I guess maybe it's not even working. Never mind. So I was going to play Sharp Dress Man, a cover of. Sharp Dressed Man by Steve's Rock and Roll Time Machine

But it doesn't seem to be working So I have to give six Six compliments She said two bad things about it Oh my God, I forgot Oh here I am taking my time with that we got That's a lot of business Okay well back to

Here we go Wine and the sleigh back around Nice smile One Nice shade of green Nice Two reminds me of those like Little Debbie cakes that are delicious

Around Christmas time Three points for Jay's with Jay Um, um, um, would love to, uh, would love to have a, uh, uh, an animated tree like that in the house to put presents under. Four. Um, um, five, cooler than the, uh, rather hang out in your house with twinkles than that thong duck that you like? No, no, I'd rather have the thong duck. Okay, that's right. Well, you got to stay in your grave. Five. Let's not count that against. That's my fault. Yeah. Uh, uh, five, I would have so many be an interesting

conversation they have because the characters come to life and there's probably something interesting about that because it was animated and then six

I would say why are you so fucking weird man you just look weird and like shit and I'm sorry I can't keep it up

you just look like shit dude oh no we unraveled at the six it's melting oh no It's Snowfall's mom. Melting, no. And kids, that's the lore of how Mike Carlson

became a member of Santa's village. Prince Michael. Not Michael Jackson's kid. Prince, but it's a different Prince Michael. Different Prince Michael. Okay. Forever. This has been a Forever Dog production.

Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gerdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.