Podcast: The Ride - Scott Performs The 2006 Universal Tour Live!

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

SepTRAMber comes to a spectacular end! Scott performs The 2006 Universal Tour Live on stage! Did he do it word perfect? Did anything go wrong? Did any jewel-sucking gangsters attack hijack our tram? Listen immediately to find out!Video of the performance can still be purchased here! https://www.dynastytypewriter.com/calendar-squad-up?event-id=118845Hope everyone had a great SepTRAMber! *Recorded live at Dynasty Typewriter 9/28/25.FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride⁠See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Forever. Dog. Warning. The following live performance features a 40-year-old chasing past glory by returning to a beloved job from his youth. It should be nice, but on the other hand, that is the plot of American beauty. So we apologize if this show at any point gives you spacey vibes. Today's show will be a tight 90 minutes because we've got to catch a plane for our next show

at the Riyadh Comedy Festival. In today's performance, the role of Whoopi Goldberg, usually played by Whoopi Goldberg, will be played by the understudy, me, Jason Sheridan. And now to turn Dynasty Typewriter into a tram that can't move, it's

podcast the ride live! Hello, hello, hello, everyone, and welcome to the premier Los Angeles theatrical event of this Sunday at 4 p.m. I know we've got competition at this time, probably a couple of. puppet shows or something, but we believe you are at the most meaningful, the most special, the most dynamic presented by us here at Podcast the Ride. I'm Scott Gairdner. Hello. And over there. Hi, my name is Mike Carlson. And the only thing that could be more exciting than this is if I were to explain how to plan a closet, like I was working at the container store.

My job when I was 21 years old. That is a perfectly viable idea for a future live show. I know how to do it. I think that could be great. Yes. We put up like a number of different

containers of different shapes and sizes. Yes. And you figure out what goes into what. I could plan everyone's closet one by one in the theater. That's an upcharge for that. That's a special thing. And over here, sir.

And I'm Jason Sheridan. I... You know, I like the Matanay show, and right now we don't have to compete with any of the popular Los Angeles clowning shows because they all took a hiatus to play Art the Clown at Halloween Horror Nights. You've had a little bit of art encounter.

I don't want to jump ahead. I mean, look, we're in September. I don't want to think ahead to hauntcast the Fright. But just any preview about what it's been like to be around Art the Clown? You know, it's great to see him. You know, he's a bit misunderstood. But once you've learned that he just wants to slash you, you know, everyone starts having a little more fun, you know.

His goals are clear. Yes. Yeah. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. Well, listen, I'm so excited that everyone was down to be part of this, to come to this. Because, you know, it's a little bit of a different show for us. It's less live podcast and more legitimate theater.

It's very serious. I'm happy that there are some laughs now, but I hope that they taper off because this is going to get quite heavy. I mean, as evidence, by the way, that I am dressed for anyone just listening to this, I am in a black turtleneck, which is, of course, the uniform of an actor. At least when I googled clip art of actor. That's what I found. Well, I am wearing my 2006-era Universal Studios hat and t-shirt combo.

And my dad bought it for me, so you can't make fun of it. You know, I really went nuts when I was out here for school buying all kinds of souvenirs and stuff because I didn't know when I would be back here. I thought I was moving to New York City. What a pipe dream. Well, if we are all talking

about different shows where we revisit our past, what was to become of New York Jason? I don't think I know this. Yeah, I don't know. Did I know this? I spent some weekends there after school, and it is very overwhelming. Great city to visit.

You saw pictures of it and thought, I want to move there, Then you went and changed your mind. And I'm like, I'm more comfortable sitting in a car and going to In-N-Out Burger. So. It was too, would you say it's too much hustle and bustle? Well, I know it's concrete jungle where concrete... Dreams are made up. Dreams are made of. Now where they're made, where they're made of.

Maybe that doesn't. Yeah. It probably sounds better sung. The mayor tells me it's the... The Istanbul of America. First stops always in Istanbul. That's what he says. Yeah.

He dropped out today, though. He did. I missed this news. I've been too busy preparing. Fair. Not up on current events. I've been living in a realm of theater of the mind. You know, because this is like, you know,

I've been a little bit nervous about this. I'm going to be honest, because today I have committed to returning to what I consider my signature role on this earth. And it's not Macbeth, and it's not Hamlet, and it's not Alexander Hamilton. It is something so much more difficult to pull off than all of those things. As you know, we, as hopefully you know,

we've been in the month of Siptramber. Have you been enjoying Siptramber? It's good. It's good. I'm happy to hear it. It's all been near and dear to my heart, and we've been exploring every nook and cranny of the world-famous Universal Studios tram tour. But now it all comes down to this. Today, I have to prove that I still have what it takes to do the lowest paying job I ever had. Do I have it in me to be paid so poorly anymore? We'll find out. Because tonight, or whatever, now, this afternoon, Tonight in New York.

Hey, you're right. You're watching live in New York. Hey. How's it going? Hello, audience, digital audience around the world. It's a special hey for you. Yes, that is true. Hello to everyone live streaming.

Appreciate it. Okay, so today, at 4 p.m. here, I am, for the first time in nearly two decades, going to perform the Universal Studios Tram Tour. One of the great texts, one of the great texts. And you know, in the way that there's different versions of the Bible that we consider legitimate. And this one, no, that's the true one. And this one, this was watered down and it's incorrect.

I think that there is only one true version of the Universal Tram Tour. And that is the version that I knew that I performed in 2006. You all agree. There's full agreement on this. A time of Whoopi, a time of Al Roker. Should we call it like the King Scott version? Or is there a better way? I can't think of a better way to put it myself.

I sign off on this. 2006, a time of hope and optimism, at least for me, and a time where I looked like this. There he is. Look at that. He's taking things very seriously. He knows the duty that bears us. on his shoulders to, you know, have to show strangers where they filmed Christmas with

the cranks. They don't trust just anyone with that. A hundred new people a summer. I also looked like this. I posted some of these online. Oh, yeah. Smoldering. Yes, indeed.

That's what I was going for. Did I land there? I don't know. You look like an all-American reject. Ironically, yes, no. Maybe some of the... Maybe it's self-hatred. Maybe that's what it is.

And then look at this one. Whoa. Oh, geez. Oh, so sultry, so coy. It's giving Kylo Ren. Watch out. I might throw you off a bridge. Throw your dad off a bridge.

Watch out. Dad. This is me. I'm 126 pounds and not yet of legal drinking age. And this is the version of myself that I must become again today with the power of acting. And I'm blessed today to not have to go it alone the way I used to have to do lonely tour after lonely tour. Today I have an amazing ensemble cast. That is my co-host.

It's Mike and Jason. Yes, indeed. I mean, I'm so lucky. To have help, to have support, and to have people who are going to be playing important other roles in this crucial text of the tram tour, roles that they were given somewhere between three to no minutes to look over. You guys feel okay? You feel comfortable with it? I feel fine. Yeah, I feel great.

And I will say, Mike and I did make a handshake agreement that we would be dead silent for the time. we don't have a script so that you can be word perfect like a Sorkin play performance so you can you can be the Ricardo you know

I thought I was nervous before but now that's what well you're becoming yeah that's true no no I can't think of it I have to become the be the Ricardo's I get to become the Ricardo and also we want to forgot to tell everybody

what we're doing tonight, if Scott makes a mistake, we have to do the whole thing over again. So this is going to be like a sitcom taping, and we're going to cut it together. So you might be here for six, seven, eight hours. I apologize to the people in New York. Yeah, yeah, that's going to get awfully late for you. Well, you know, don't worry.

There will be incredibly cold pizza coming to help you pass the time. A single slice of Little Caesar's cheese on a dirty napkin with a miniature bottle of water and you will enjoy that six hours it will not at all

feel like you are in prison that's one of those real Hollywood truths, yes, TV tapings are no fun at all. We will try to make that not the case here and I'm going to try to have fun. I want to have fun, but it's also it's intimidating. It's intimidating what

what I need to do here. You know, you guys act, but I'm a little less of an actor than you are, you know. And I, like, and then to go all the way to, you know, to the front of the line and have to play the most challenging role of all, myself. I mean, that's tough. It's a tall order. And it requires channeling some darkness. I know I've been talking all month about how idyllic this was in the ultimate summer dream job, but that's not, that's not every. everything. That's, you know, not every bit of this experience. You know, things didn't start that way for me. You know, basically the summer of 2006 was supposed to be the worst summer of my life. Right at the beginning, I got dumped, and it was hitting me really hard. I had to move back in

with my parents, and I didn't want to do that. And my best prospect was a job cleaning up soda stains at the AMC Promenade multiplex in Woodland Hills. That was, I mean, the theater deserves the applause, but RIP, really departed, but, you know, not what I... You didn't want to brave that to possibly get prime seats for snakes on a plane

showing at the end of August. It's so... You remember, you all remember. Snakes on a plane, weird things Eric Adams says. These are universal references. We all know by heart. Yeah, snakes on a play.

It's going to be crazy. It's going to be so random. They're re-edited. They're filming new stuff because it's what the fans wanted. And the snakes look like shit. It's going to be so funny. See, that was one year later. You're right.

I could have had the opportunity for early access. But, you know, here I am in the dreary summer of 2006. And in that time, not feeling so great about things, I went to that theater. And I went to go see. I was like, let me just go see something just to get my mind off of how bummed I am, of being back with my parents and the breakup and everything. And what I didn't expect is that when this movie began, there was a Ben Fold song in it,

and kind of a ballad. And Ben Fold's music was very much the soundtrack of this relationship, and I didn't expect to hear it. And now I'm here, and I'm hearing it, and I'm in the movie theater where I feel like I'm going to be trapped all summer, and I just, I had an absolute meltdown. I burst into tears. I burst into tears in the movie theater. What song was it? Well, the song is called Still. Yeah, it's a nice song, right? But I think more importantly, for these circumstances of me weeping in a theater

is that the name of the movie was Over the Hedge. Oh, what was me? Yes. I was publicly weeping. at a movie, which features a talking possum named Heather voiced by Avril Levine. But that guy in the first picture

was not scrap from Ice Age. No, no, no, no, no. That was a different similar guy. That might even be like a Fox versus DreamWorks. I forget the party lines here. Gary Shanling in this movie? Yes, yeah, yeah, Gary Shanling. William Shatner is a possum, who's the dad.

out of the Avrilavine. Look, it's not the movie's fault. I was not in a good place. Don't put any of the blame on Over the Hedge. Did you at least cheer yourself up by going to the car, plugging in an iPad, iPod Classic,

and playing William Shatner's version of common people? Produced by Ben Folds. Produced by Ben Folds. Yes, indeed. No, but see, that was tainted, you see. Even his production I couldn't listen to.

I wasn't in a good way. I felt as though I had lost my Heather the possum. And that's me in June 2006. I am bawling my eyes out at a possum movie, and by August 2006, I was on top of the fucking world,

and I owe it all to the Universal Studios tram tour. That's absolutely true. You had stopped fighting the battle of who could care less. Right? Right. I could never

rest. No. But this is, that's why I just wanted to fill you in on some of the process, some of what, you know, sure, this might end up with me yelling at a giant animatronic ape, but the backstory. The backstory is darker than that you see. And this is the journey that I want to take you all on today. But it's a journey that I can't go on until I look the part, maestro, if you please. Love it those cacks, brother. I did zip up after the bathroom, yes? Okay, good. That would have had a whole other effect if that wasn't the case. Yeah, take a look, boys. Take it in.

Oh, yeah. There you go. I'll save some of the good view for them. Yes, look at this. A wardrobe that completely sexually neutralizes anyone wearing it. A tram tour guide would kill for that reaction to their outfit. Can you imagine a tram person gets on, they usually are greeted with this, like, when people are just looking down

or trying to deal their kids and they erupt in like a rapturous applause as if Axel Rose has gotten on stage in 1991. Yeah, wow, is that the biggest applause for khaki shorts

that has ever taken place? Yeah, maybe. I'm stacking the deck. That's what's great about. Stacking the deck. Also, like, you know, this is the real deal shirt. The pants I was just trying to approximate, but I don't know if I get exactly the like gender-neutral

crotch puff. That's what I remember. Just looking at a break room of 30 people all wearing this men and women all with just this embarrassing like a baby bump in the crotch. Lightly humiliating, but not now.

You guys made me feel like a million bucks rather than this time. Oh my God. You have to be like sealed into those pants by a higher up at Universal. You'll never get out. So, well, all right. So I was, the next line is like, now I look the part,

but I first have to take the Velcro off of the... Yeah, please don't hurt yourself. I don't want to drip. So in a second, that really reduces the drama, doesn't it? Yeah. Okay, well, look, I'm not afraid to be honest to... Is there a tag on that? Yeah, I am considering returning it, yes.

Give Jason out. Give Jason out of his mind. He gets behind that idea. Jason shared it. No one has bought and returned more outfits for comedy shows to Jason Sheridan. It's the guy. No one's ever said the words, I don't think we need to pay for props for this more than Jason Sheridan.

So he appreciates that, Scott. Well, Amazon makes it so easy now. It's not a process. Yeah, Amazon makes it easier. But also, I learn skills from like wardrobe departments because they would be like, Hey, could you just tuck that tag in? Just don't get on camera. We're going to return that.

See, Jason would pick up schemes everywhere he went. Yeah. It all counts. It all counts, brother. Filed that away. I should also point out, just in case it kind of is accidentally noticed by anyone. I just want to own this, that there is a mysterious yellow stain on the left sleeve that didn't come out in three washings. I don't know.

It's a tad sulfury. Jason? What do you think? Look, Doc Bryan's fried chicken was fried in some weird liquids. Okay. Did a bird ever land on your shoulder? From the animal actors. Oh, yes.

Oh, that's right. Yes. Well, that one time where I held out a $100 bill and then a hawk showed up and pooped on my arm. Pooped, pooped mustard on your arm. He ate someone's hot dog. It ate a lot of people's hot dog. that day. Yeah, and it just

mustard came out. Okay, well. You're mustard. Okay, well, okay, back to the script. Now I look the part. So, are you guys ready to take this journey with me? Yes.

Are you ready to go back to 2006? Every goddamn day. For many, many reasons beyond this fucking tram show. And most of all, are you ready to commit intellectual property theft against NBC Universal? Yeah. That's the biggest one of all.

Okay. Oh, yes, yes. I was just going to say, eat shit, Universal. Yes. No. No, no, no. That had to be wedged in. It's important to say.

That's how I, you know, they fired me via a form letter. Yeah. Which is why I still have this shirt. The shirt doesn't get returned if you fire somebody via a letter. It's too bad. But I'm so glad we have it now. And now we are able to get this thing started properly the way that we all liked to get things started back in 2006. Let's get it started.

Yeah. I'm pointing up. See? I'm pointing, Scott. Oh, yeah. The mic point. We have a mic point. That means it is a song that's not surprising to hear anywhere.

Oh, my God. Try it when you're out at a Target later. Nope, Nellie Furtado. Shape of you. For the second time today. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the world-famous Universal Studios tour. How are we doing today? Hang on a second, hang on a second.

I just played you guys some black-eyed peas. I think we could do a little bit better than that. How are we doing today? All right, that's what I like to hear. Welcome aboard. My name is Scott. I'm going to be your guide today as we lift the veil of secrecy on some of Hollywood's hottest filming locations. Isn't that right? Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell.

You're about to go behind the scenes of the biggest and busiest movie studio in the world. But before you head off on your Hollywood adventure, let's bring up to speed on what's been filming on the Universal Lot as of late. Wow. Wow. Nailed it. No rehearsal. Nailed it. Excellent. And cut. that was wonderful I do while we're looking at this guy's smug smile I do want to say one thing with this he probably filmed this in in May 2006 yeah yeah oh I don't even need to finish it take us back just I got curious about timeline a certain tape let's call it the G-E-B-T-P tape was in the can he he he he As you look at this smile, he knows what he did, eight months ago.

And someday, what he doesn't know is that it's going to have an incredible re-release someday. Like when an old Orson Welles movie is uncovered. Yeah, a lot of people call that Billy Bushes inherit the win, for sure. All right. Well, thanks, Billy and Nancy, and you're right. There is a ton happening on the lot today. Today, of course, being July 23rd, 2006. We're filming a little movie called You, Me, and DePree,

starring Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, and Matt Dillon. Not sure which is which. We'll find out when the movie comes out. Which one's me? You think I'd know, I'm me, but... Okay, and many of your favorite... Your absolute favorite TV shows are filming on the lot. Literally today, Crossing Jordan is filming today, folks.

Oh, my God. Ghost Whisperer is filming today. That's a double mic point. That's right. You are going to visit the town of Grandview today. Get excited. Get very excited. And I don't want to get too solemn here,

but I just want to give an artist his due. Today on the lot, comedy craftsman Eddie Murphy is currently cooking up his latest masterwork Norbit. Yeah, I know. It's a mysterious title. We don't know much about this project yet. It's totally top secret,

but an early copy has been leaked to Beach Boys founder, Brian Wilson. And according to his reports, this could be the greatest film ever made. So that's the kind of thing we're dealing with on the lot today. How exciting is that? Wow. Amazing, amazing. So, yeah, we're excited. We're going to take you into the studio in a second, but before the fun begins, let's go over a few quick safety instructions, shall we?

Rule number one, if you're having an emergency of any kind, reach up and pull the red cord above your heads, and I'll be happy to assist you. That's right, Frankenstein. Please remain seated during the tour, keeping your hands in arms inside the vehicle at all time. Good, good. No, Frankstein, that is not good. There is no smoking allowed while on. board of the tram. And rule number four, be prepared for just about anything, including loud noises, fire effects, sudden tram movements, and the possibility of getting wet. And those my friends are the safety instructions for today. But don't worry, you will only get wet if you are sitting in one of the reddish brown seats. So otherwise, should be fine. Should stay totally dry. Does Frankenstein, is he smoking a cigar? That's,

Yeah, well, a phrase popped into my head, a phrase that's been attributed to our pal over here. It almost looks a little bit like a big old blunt. Oh. Jason, did you notice? Didn't it look? He was holding it like this. He looked like you spoke with a big old Stogey.

Oh. That's right. You have several smoking terms that are associated with you. He's holding it like this, which I guess is how you would hold a Stogie. But also, like, isn't Frankenstein technically a baby? That's why he holds it so. awkwardly. Someday he'll learn.

Right. He's holding it like a bottle. Well, it's kind of cute if you think about it that way. I'm trying to see if I have the ability to pull up the freeze frame, but I think I don't. And I don't want to fuck up the entire presentation. Don't do that. Okay, so folks, the time has come. We are leaving the theme park behind to take you inside the heart of the studio where some of Hollywood's biggest names come to work every day.

And it doesn't get much bigger than the Oscar and Emmy Award-winning star of Ghost, Sister Act, bogus and theater ricks here to tell you how our studio came to be and under a lot of pressure to do a voice that does not have any sort of vocal affect of any kind currently

being put in a box of my design is Hollywood A-lister Whoopi Goldberg Hello everyone Welcome to the Universal Studio Tour. So how do I look? Hey, if other studios can have a lion or a mouse or something, what is wrong with an Oscar-winning whoopee?

You're on your way to the biggest and busiest fantasy factor in the world. But first, let me give you the setup for our story, or as we in Hollywood would love to call it, the backstory. And I really should have provided you some, like, tinkly, like, silent movie. I'll do it for a sec. Bing, blah, blimp. It's all right.

Just a few more paragraphs. Universal got its start in 1912 when visionary Carl Lemley. You see why I gave you this part? Brought his movie company West. And open Universal Pictures on March 15th, 9. Oh, my God, Dynasty Typewriter knows what to do. We got some tinkly. Geez, thanks.

Thank you so much. On March 15, 1915, Mr. Lemley invited the public to visit his studio and the Universal Studio Tour was born. You see, Mr. Lemley believed that movies should make people laugh or cry or sit on the edge of their seats. And for the last 85 years, Universal has been doing just that. I'll be back to check up on you guys later on. In the meantime, I'm going to turn things over to your guide. Have a great time, everybody. Yay.

Thank you. Thank you. Is it hard getting through that without tearing up? I mean, I'm no whoopee, okay? She's a star. She's an award winning star. It's Oscar and Emmy Winning Star. Jason got to say one of his favorite names.

Yes. That's right. Jason was floating the idea of a theory of calling certain people guys and certain people names. And I'm not sure where he's fallen on that at this point. Well, I'm still doing some soul searching because the response was significantly more controversial than I could have predicted. Oh, you mean us? Yes. Yeah, sorry.

That's like every episode. Please briefly describe every. podcast they're right. Yeah. I'm going to say something normal, and then 15 minutes of deconstruction. Sorry. I should have said in the safety instructions. And rule number five, no mentioning of madam or canned tuna.

Moving on. Here's some booze. Booze for tuna? Booze for me. Booze for Scott, right. We'll sort out the boo. We'll get people to write. down what it was. We'll organize it later.

Okay, hey, thanks, Whoopi. We are now off and running. Wow, there we go. Schindler's List. Chinler's List. We are heading down the hill into the studio, looking at posters and some of our most beloved Universal Classics, many of which were shot right here

in the area we're about to enter. It's called the front lot. Folks, this is where the magic happens in these giant buildings, which we call soundstages. Vocabulary word, file out of wait for later. Inside which we can create any environment the story demands. And here's a great example right in front of us.

You are looking at soundstage 12. This is one of the biggest soundstages in the world. Many of the most memorable lines in movie history were filmed in this very building. I'm talking about Dr. Frankenstein's, It's Alive. Scarface, say hello to my little friend. And, and this is totally true, Devin Sawa saying, can I keep you to Christina Ricci and Casper? Yes. This, that word, I feel like that movie moment lives in Jason Sheridan's head.

I feel like he wakes up to this every morning, because he brings it up a lot. Yeah, I may have gotten a shiver up my spine when you recounted it just out. I heard shivers from a lot of the audience members. That's why I brought it up. I mean, yes, I, what I wanted to, I couldn't have said this on the tour, but I'll say it now. That's right. The sexual awakening of every single woman my age was shot right there. in soundstage 12.

I feel like you're not giving animated Fox Robin Hood, it's due. I'm so... Well, it just, you know, it wasn't filmed here on the Universal Life, so there's nothing I can do about. But three Russell Crow movies in Roe were I forgot about those signs. We call this Russell Road.

And another one, The Riddler's Lair in Batman Forever was filming in that soundstage. Yeah. So that means you know who was in that building. You know who was in there. Dr. Chase Meridian. Dr. Chase Meridian.

She was there. Look, she's tied up, I think, in like a chain, unless that's like part of her wardrobe. But it might be a light chain that the riddler tied her up in. The chain is good, though, because while I was attracted to her, it means she can't come over and touch me. Because that would be too much for me at the time. Too intense.

It's like knowing that there's an invisible trough that protects the lions from jumping at you on the zoo tour. Yes. What kind of thought we got in that trough? All right. Well, yeah, stage 12, the home of formative horniness.

And now from her, aroused bodies to dead ones. It's stage 24, which is currently the home of CSI, starring William Peterson and Marg Helgenberger. Also, this might interest some people on the stage. This was also the filming location of the 1949 film Maugh and Paw Kettle. Hell yeah.

Shockingly, I have not seen Ma'n'Paw Kettle, but I'll head to the To Be Search Bar when I get. Jason's stream dream. Stream dream. You haven't seen it. It's just the nickname you use for you and your wife. Yeah. And, you know, the hits just keep on coming.

So many historic soundstages. Here's stage 27. Now the doors are open, elephant doors we call it because they're very big. And if you take a look inside, you may notice pieces of a giant arc. That is because we're currently shooting the movie Evan Almighty. hell yeah hell yeah some fans of the ev heads at are the ev heads here hey did you remember to invite star steve carell and director tom shadiac are they in the crowd today i guess the invitation slipped by but i didn't realize it was a full retrospect oh yeah search whoa there is a searchlight

scanning tom tom chadyac tom tom Okay, great. I asked for one fucking thing for the show. Now who's going to sign my HD DVD? DVD combo disc. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wait, HD DVD? It has HD DVD, too? It's one disc, and HD DVD is side A and DVD is side B. Is HD DVD defunct? Yeah. It is. Thank you very much. See, Jason, you bet on the wrong horse.

And someone bet on the wrong horse. Oh, Blue Way 1, because it's what Sony wanted. I don't even want this desk anymore. Here. Oh. You kind of gave them a heads up before it's throwing the blunt objects in their direction. This is... It's pretty thin and light.

Another appeal of HDDVs. There was a good chance that that case opened and a disc just went flying into someone's eye. Well, then two people got freebies today. One person got the disc and one person got the box. And one of those people got a trip to the hospital. All right, all right. We got to use some caution.

I give safety rules to the audience. We should give them to ourselves, my God. Jason, are you going to whip anything else at the audience tonight? No, I'm not. I already threw my $7 eBay purchase at the crowd. Okay. It arrived by the skin of its teeth yesterday afternoon. Don't you know you have a bit to be part of?

Where are you, HDV? I added an alternate. I had an alternate bit planned where I talk about on the disc didn't arrive in time. I had an alternate bit where I throw a handful of thumbtacks into the crowd. Hey, who here came from the furthest way to be here today? Okay.

From my office. Okay. Well, you know, I know it's been exciting to see where some of your favorite HD DVDs were made, but... Including this one that did not make its budget back at the box office. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave it one out of four stars, and he liked everything. This is what's great, though, the innocent time that we're in. We don't know that I'm at Almighty is bad. We don't know who's going to win the format war. We don't. We're just happy to see Lauren Graham getting work outside of Gilmore girls.

It's not like they're going to bring that back at least once down the road. Congrats, Lauren. But so, you know, we are, I know it's exciting to see some of these sounds changes, but we got something just as exciting coming up. Bungalows, there they are, the production here's. We're in the bungalow part. These services, these serve as production offices for producers for producers. who have deals of the studio. One of them's not there, I guess. I see maybe Fred Savage's parking space, possibly. Here's the thing. This is, I always considered this part of the tour to be a tad dry while doing it day to day. You're just kind of filling time until you got to the stuff, you know. But this isn't quite the tour. We're inventing something about a whole cloth here.

That means there's nothing forcing us to do the tour as is. We can kind of do whatever we want, Right? So with that in mind, from the bungalows, we're actually going to head over to the jungle cruise. All right, as you can see, we've arrived in the elephant bathing pool.

Feel free to take as many photos as you like. They do have their trunks on. And coming up, it's the eighth wonder of the world, the backside of water. Yeah. Oh, two, eight, one to eight, oh, two, eight. Wow.

Wow, an organic chance. for the jungle cruise. Very cool. Wait, what was the chant? O2H, the backside of water. Oh, the reverse of H2O. Wait, is that something they say? That's, whoa, I don't know that joke somehow. Is that, everybody knows that?

Yeah. Wow. Hmm. Huh. Okay, I have just proven that my qualifications are not good to be hosting the theme park podcast. Well, they did do the Eternal Sunshine process to you when they started the tour guy.

They didn't want you referencing any of the other students. Yes, yeah, yeah. I had no awareness of any other places where you can buy tickets to have fun. No. Yes, folks, here in Hollywood, we could take you anywhere from the deepest jungles of Anaheim

to the streets of New York City. Hey, what's up, man? What's that? We'll shape down the H-TMI port. Oh, hey, thanks. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, folks, we're engaging in a little bit of a technical process going on.

I think a wire has been coming in and out here. Does Jason have any more thoughts on Evan Almighty? Did you know John Goodman's in the movie? No. And John Michael Higgins from Valid. He did have more. From what? Yeah, then Wanda Sykes.

There's a lot of cast members of most major motion pictures. Wait a minute. Did you just say John Michael Higgins from Fallon? Yeah. No, that's Steve Higgins. Oh, oh. here in Hollywood, like we like to call that a blooper.

Blooper, yes, indeed, which we're sort of experiencing now. I don't know if you know this, fun fact, bloopers were actually invented. We call it that because of an old character actor named George Bloop. He was from the silent film era, and sometimes he would forget to say his lines because he didn't realize that he had them. And go home and tell everybody that 100% true facts. Are we good to go?

Good to go. Hey, thank you for stopping the show here and letting us know that, appreciate it. And for the spotlight and the tinkly piano, the magic of Hollywood is alive here, a dynasty typewriter. Okay, so I was saying here in Hollywood, we could take you anywhere

from the deepest jungles of Anaheim to the streets of New York City. Welcome to the back lot. We've made it. This is where we shoot the big stuff. Exterior scenes on an extremely large scale. Now, these buildings you see here are what we call facade.

That's a French word, meaning false front. They're just the fronts and sides of buildings. We only build what the camera will see, and your imagination fills in the rest. Now, these look like real buildings, but what looks like brick or stone is actually foam rubber and fiberglass. That's what all these buildings are made out of,

which means that if any of these buildings got even barely hot, they would immediately explode the nastiest goddamn fire you've ever seen in your life. Hopefully, not a problem anytime soon, specifically two years from now. Okay, but, you know, we're arriving at something really cool, so get your shitty 2006 cameras ready

because you're about to see one of the most famous sets of all time. This great set will have you saying, great Scott. Wow. That's right, folks, your eyes do not deceive you. It's the town of Grandview from Ghost Whisperer starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. We made it. We're in Grandview, guys. This very spot, imagine Jennifer Love Hewitt is here day after day.

I'm imagining. Mike's checking out. He's going to his phone. I have a bunch of facts about Ghost Whisperer. I don't need to read them. No, we're talking about Melinda's antique shop. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, of course. No, Melinda Gordon, who communicates with her.

Melinda Gordon, the star, the main character of Ghost Whisper. Uh-huh. Yes, indeed. Uh-huh. Go ahead. Yeah, and she, of course, gets the help of Delia Banks, played by Cameron Mannheim, and Professor Eli James, played by Jamie Kennedy.

Now, yeah, there you go. Everybody loves Eli. Now, I know it's difficult to imagine a bigger star than Jamie Kennedy. But, but we're about to find out, just how big stars can get. Because we're heading inside an actual soundstage, and it's not just any sound stage. In here, you might just encounter

the biggest star in all of Hollywood. Wow. Late word just in. The path of destruction continues east, causing thousands to flee their homes. Police admit that they are powerless to stop the enraged beast. Military units are rushing to the scene. The beast was last cited near the 200 block

of old four. We now go to live coverage on the scene with our helicopter reporter Kelly King. Kelly King, she's good. I'm a fan. We're now hovering above the wreckage of a crushed L train. The helicopter beside us is searching for, wait, there's a tram load of people down there. We've got to go down. I think she's talking about us, guys.

You are in danger. Repeat, you are at what? What are we supposed to do? Where do we go? Jason whip a DVD. Get that thing. Break it, shatter it, get it ready. I've only got five.

more copies you have an almighty oh no oh no Kelly King Kelly King's helicopter is crashed four-time local Emmy nominee Kelly King is no longer with us I've got a bad feeling about this folks I think I know who's just around the corner oh no it's King Kong no no Kong stop this Kong stop this at once we are not your captors Kong we are had nothing to do with this. Go flash those red eyes at us. Please, please, sir. I'm 20 years old.

I've lived a good in full life. But think of the children on board. They have done nothing to cause your situation. Kong! Calm down, Kong! Wow. That's why Universal Studios has those talent showcases for tour guides. After numbers like that.

Did you ever see someone else's tour? Did you ever see anyone who could compete with your performance of the Kong? Did you ever see, witness it? Be cocky. Hell fucking no. Nice. Nice. But I also didn't spend a lot of my free time doing other people's tours.

Yeah, I guess that's probably why you wouldn't be able to see it. David Love did a good job. David Love, are you here? my buddy who did the show. Thanks for being here, David. That was a solid King Kong. I lied when I said hell fucking no. Okay.

Hey, folks, how about that banana breath? Do we catch a whiff of that? Pretty crazy. Hey, that incredible animatronic can perform 30 different movements, but thankfully one of those is not throwing his own poop. It'd be huge.

We'd suffocate. So... That would be like something that Fright Fest, that Six Flags would do. Be a big monkey that throws a big pile of shit. There's no sewer of souls this year, though, at Fight Fest. Yeah, it's done. So.

Yeah, they use real shit, too. What's this? It smells and feels so accurate. Oops. Okay, so how do we possibly get more exciting than a giant anatronic ape? Well, perhaps with two of the sweetest words in the entire, English language. I'm talking about picture cars.

We're going to see some picture cars. Look at that. There's a bike from something and a drawn-on car from animal house and something old-timey and Magnum PI. A picture car is any car in a set that's seen by the camera. And some of these cars have become as famous

as the stars who've driven them. Now, over the years, picture cars have grown bigger, badder, and I don't know why that one's missing. The picture cars have grown bigger, badder, and faster. There's one from Land of the Lost. Sorry, keep getting distracted. You got to have an H.T. DVD of that.

Land of the Lost. See those slea stacks in okay quality. It sure didn't seem like a lot of those cars were from the Lost World Jurassic Park. Sure, yeah. You get them from, well, when a lot are missing, you got to use the ones that you have. Yeah. Okay, so over the years, picture cars have grown bigger, batter, and faster as movie audiences embrace their need for speed. Everyone, I want you to get your hopes up as high, high, high, high, as they could possibly be for the demonstration that you are about to see.

We're on the set. Let's see the bullet hits. And go. I don't care about this part. No, we all agree this isn't very good, yeah. Okay, well, whatever. They were impressed. This one's for real, guys, so watch out.

And action. Whoa, look at them, not go. Oh my god, all the same things are happening that just happened. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hand cut! Say hello to Carnage and Karma, everybody. Take a bow, boys. Say guys, you got any other moves?

Hey, yeah, La Gasolina. Sublime, I heard it. Sublime. So sublime, I can't even handle it. Sublime. Let's move like that. Magnificent.

Oh, my God, they kissed. Did you see that? They just kissed. Oh, my God. They do on the disco ball, too. Oh, my God. Oh, magnificent. Wow.

Well, hey, give it up for carnage and karma, everybody. You know what? F that. Standing ovation for carnage and karma. Yeah. Give it up for carnage and karma. Carnagent karma. Wow.

Yes. Whew. Carnagian karma. Carnage karma. Finally. This is a room that gets it. If I met the devil and he offered me a bargain

that I could, and he said he could bring back Carnagea karma. But we had to get rid of the jungle cruise. See you later, Jungle Cruise. How could the people who were just channing O2H then agree with that statement? People contain multitudes. You know, when we did that episode,

and I said, is there a deeper joke here? And one of you say, well, they both car in the name. And I silently went, I didn't think about that. I thought there was a commentary. on Hollywood and violence and explosion. What? And then I was trying to crack that code. And then what if it was like,

well, they bought a car in the name, and I'm like, oh, shit. I see. So if you commit carnage, then you may ultimately have to face. Your karma is damaged. I see. Interesting, interesting.

No, some jokes are thinkers, including this one. I forgot to do it. Hey, hey, hey, take that dancing with the star. Yeah, yeah. Sublime. It's the only way to put it. There's only one word for it.

Well, with our friend Holaria Baldwin starring at it now, it is sublime. I did subscribe. But how does she say the word sublime? Oh, don't do it. Don't say it. No, no, no. Don't do that. If you know, you know. Okay, wow.

Well, that experience just proves that Hollywood's technical wizards can bring even the most impossible dreams to life. Dreams we've all had, like putting cars on a pole. But here's a question. Are we in Hollywood capable of controlling the weather? Many leading Republicans believe the answer is yes. Would that be an immediate firing?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. From the Republicans in charge. of the third edition. But let's see what an expert has to say. Here now is everyone's favorite weatherman and everyone's second favorite host

of the Today Show, obviously behind Matt Lauer. It is 2006. Please, don't groan, don't grow. Remember, that would just, might be a fact that. Okay, give it up for Al Roker. Hi, everybody, here's today's forecast for the Universal Backlot. It's going to be sunny and dry

in six points, Texas. Cool and cloudy in little Europe. Expect snow and, and sleet on New York Street, and we've got a high chance of fog and precipitation for Skull Island, Amity Island, and Islae Nubla. That's your forecast for it today. Now here's a look at what's going on in your neck of the lot. Uh-oh, flash flood warning. Oh, no.

I don't like the sound of that. We don't get those in Los Angeles a lot. That's kind of what. Well, you know what? Oh, geez, it did just start raining. But wait a minute. Look at that. The rain is coming from sprinklers up above our heads.

It's just an illusion. As is, you know, I'll let you in on it, as is that lightning and thunder, those are just lighting and sound effects. You know, it's something we turned on to, you know, give you guys a little kick. Let's go ahead and shut it off. We don't want this thing to get out of control. Got shut it off. I said shut it off. Oh, no.

Oh, no. It's got me, folks. I'm trying for you. It's a flash flash. Oh. Oh. Jason, throw a handful of water at them. Well, I need that to be hydrated, though.

He's not going to waste two cents worth of water. I do maintain that the tour should get everyone in the trams soaking wet and make them sit in it for 25 minutes. Only a few lucky guests have that experience. Well, listen, Al and I just played a little trick on you. That was our famous flash flood, which has been thrown. guest since 1968 and take a look at your screens because you may recognize the flash flood that you just saw in this in this clip from the movie big fat liar

you can't run the wolf kid yeah we'll see about that I love you people so much wow wow it brought you horror take a back getting back the line sideways sorry the oldovers the wolf is here we all know what he deserved the award for uh well from old mexico to the old west we're heading to the realm of john wayne jimmy stewart hoot gibson audy murphy and other names i definitely knew before i got this job we're here in six points Texas. You know, every major Western star mozied down these streets at one time or another. And if some of these cowboys seemed a little bit larger than life, there's a good reason why.

Many of the doorways around here are built smaller than normal. That's so that when our cowboys stood in them, they would appear bigger and brawnier than they actually were. Now, see, I knew this was going to happen at some point where I was going to say something that doesn't get a laugh because it's not funny, but something that I learned in our episode with Steve Slug, I learned. to try to accept not getting a laugh but instead getting a hmm there's you know we crave laughs we're desperate for them sometimes

and sometimes it's nice to go just get a little hmm hmm is there anything that one of you guys has to say that you think might provoke well I just started following Olaria Baldwin on Instagram and she has a branding of Alaria's world so I will get sometimes a DM

from Alaria's world Hmm. Hmm. What's in the DM? A reminder to watch Dancing with the Stars. Were any of these buildings built for, like, I don't know, and just pulling it out of my ass, like a 1994 Jeff Bridges movie? I think that is the case, and that fact is immediately out of my head, whatever that was. Yeah, I don't remember the name of that.

The old facts I remember. Okay, I'm going to say, I won't say, hmm, to that I'll say, huh? And sometimes those are nice to get, too. Isn't it, Jason? Isn't it nice to get, mm? Yeah. Uh, any sound, any sound really we like. Six Points, Texas has been used in so many of my favorite movies.

My little chickadee, rooster cogburn, and two mules for Sister Sarah. Only two? Movies that the Jason shared in character on. podcast the right has seen yeah not the man he's catching up the man's catching up persona you know so those are all great uses of six points

Texas but you will not however see six points Texas in this sequence from the film big fat liar you can't have run the wolf kid yeah we'll see about that my lover I'm so glad we did this.

It makes me so happy. You know, in a way, all of us in Hollywood are big, fat liars. Because we use the power of illusion to simulate that we're in different places all over the world, which leads us to the next area, Little Europe. this area can be mocked up to portray any European country just by changing the signs and the flags and the windows and here to tell you how we do it. We haven't seen her in a bit.

It's Whoopi Goldberg. Oh, Whoopi. Let me just get settled real quick. This one maybe, this might have a little bit of stage direction. Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure. Whoopi Goldberg speaks in a perfect French accent. Bonjour, me, and welcome to Little Europe.

Je suis in France, What's really cool is this place can be made to look like any country we need just by changing the signs and a little set decoration. The signs change to Spain. Whoopi speaks in a perfect Spanish accent. Buenos Dioz. Donde estes la Bibliotheca. It's an evergreen joke for a reason.

See, this place is versatile. The Merrill Street. of locations. The signs change to Germany. Whoopi speaks in a perfect German accent. V. Gets? Now, what does a frall line have to do around here to get some schnitzel, eh?

Yeah. Yeah. Have, okay. In the last two years, have you said to Jane, what does a frule line have to do to get some schnitzel? It seems possible. It does seem possible.

And no innuendo, you just want a chnitzel. Yeah. Chicken, pork, as long as there's a slice of lemon to squeeze on it, I'm happy. Now that opinion, there was so nice and pure. There was nothing monstrous about it. But now we have to go to a world. of monsters. It's called the Court of Miracles, and it's where so many of our universal monsters got

their start. Frankenstein, Dracula, other ones. This is another one of those things where, like, it's fine. You're kind of just looking at like a fountain. It's not that great. I think we could do something cooler and better. And that's why I'm going to turn things over to Mike, who has prepared a little presentation. How do we do this to where we don't undo the tape?

Oh, I think I just undit did it by touching it with my foot. All right, I'm going to be very careful, and I'm going to walk around. Great, great. All right. Okay. I'm going to crouch like this. Okay, thank you. In a very strange way.

And just yell, pull the red cord if you can't see the picture anymore. It's just sometimes you read about, you know, stuff that filmed on the universe a lot, and you wonder why people don't bring it up more. So, for that reason, I've concocted what my ideal tour. Might look like It's called Michael's Studio Tour And I'm just going to give you a little brief I mean, first of all, you know, you're going to do you some Munsters bullshit, all right?

Mockingbird Lane, but we're going to get out of the car, all right? And we're going to go inside And we're going to get to see hopefully a 25-year-old playing Grandpa Munster Al Lewis. Now, we're going to do a lot more ghost whispers stuff. Okay? And we're not

going to, yeah, you know, obviously we know all the locations, we know it. Oh, yeah, the theater. But we're not just going to do, you know, ghost whisperer. We're going to also say, well, what else has Jennifer Love Hewitt done that involved the Universal lot? Somebody will raise their hand. It'll be probably a plant. And they'll say,

does Jennifer Love Hewitt have any Saturn Awards? And I'll say, yes, she does. She was at the Universal Hilton in 2007, and she won Best Actress for Ghost Whisperer. Wow.

Wow. This is something no guide tells you currently. They're withholding information. We have no idea of Whoopi Goldberg has a Saturn. We don't know. She might, though. I think those are like... She has a lot of things.

The Saturn Awards have been around for like 37 years. Hmm. Maybe longer. I don't know anything. All right. So you're all... probably wondering, and you're all probably wondering when you go on the actual tour, has Jonathan Frakes ever shot anything on the universe a lot? Star Trek the next generation's

Commander Riker, host of Beyond Belief Factor Fiction. The answer is yes. There was an episode of Star Trek Picard that utilized the log cabin near Falls Lake. Oh, the cabin, the This is when Captain Picard goes to see Riker and Troy. He hasn't seen them a long time, and he goes and visits them at their log cabin. It's a very lovely reunion. There's Jonathan Frick's wearing an apron of some kind. Now, this is wonderful, and this is an amazing piece of trivia. But did you know, and I don't know, have we talked about this on the podcast,

that Star Trek Picard dressed up City Walk? Whoa. I don't even recognize it. Where am I? We're pulling the rip cord. Oh, wow. Thank you, guys. I forgot about the...

All right. This is clearly Citywalk. Well, they can't see it right now. That's the problem. Yeah. So now they match the audience at home. I know. I didn't touch it, I don't think.

I think it was too exciting of an image for the... It overlords. loaded the circuits of the computer. Oh, I think so. Seeing a sci-fi city walk was too much. These after effects neon signs, why the system's just not made for that. They need the real city walk neon signs. Oh.

So I just want everyone to take it in. That's a woe is right. That's clearly the view where you're looking at tooth sums. You can see the escalator to city. food right there. They've covered up some of the sign that's with quark. It says quark there.

All right. The Thunderbirds premiere was Jonathan Fragg's direct there? Here he is at CityWalk in front. He's with Vanessa Hudgens, who's apparently in that movie. Damn it. Damn it. Somebody help us. Well, folks, just

just goes to show anything can happen when you're making Hollywood magic. You get it. You get how to do it. All right. All right. I think they can't see this 15-year-old boy wearing a t-shirt that just says vote. Can't disagree with that.

You're probably wondering if any music history happened at Universal Studios. Scott, please play the next. Okay, let's see if it goes. See if it happens. Jeez. So, this is like 30 second slip. This was a first attempt of making a music video

for Blink 1-82 song Josie. It is not the official music video, but it was shot on the Universal lot. They hated the way the video turned out, so they went back and reshot the whole thing. Apparently, Tom Dolan cut himself on something that was in the water. So the whole thing was a disaster.

and only a little bit of this is leaked out. But this is something that should definitely be shown on the tram tour. This is music history. Blank Winni-2's greatest album, Dude Ranch, needs to be represented on the tour. And I think Scott would agree. Pop-punk history happens. You're lucky I'm busy.

I can't respond to this. Oh, this is a perfect time to talk about tuna, Jason. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Tuna, no. Tuna. Tuna. Tuna. This has been such a wonderful

victorious night for me, and you're going to ruin it all. I've heard you can't mess with the wolf, but you can't mess with tuna. We just got one more thing. We said stage 24. You know, a lot of classic film and TV shot there. But the thing that really lit me up

when I was looking into this was Lucille Ball's sitcom Here's Lucy Season 3 onward was filmed on stage 24 They used to point out apparently Lucy's dressing room that was nearby That used to be a thing they would say in the tour I think they should bring it back

The other thing they should mention is that Here's Lucy was produced by Lucy's second husband Gary Morton This you're making me press this button Press another button. I love Gary, it says. You barely have support on Gary Morton on the chant for Gary. Even these people have limits.

We hit a lot today. Tuna, Blink 1-82, Gary Morton, all Scott's favorites. That's how much I love the Universal Tour. None of it can bring me down. I'm still beaming. I don't mind. and Gary Morton's smiling face, a little piece of Hollywood history. Mike, thank you for giving us your version.

We should win smoother, but that's okay. A lot more interesting in those monsters, who cares, boring. And you know what? I'm glad you kind of loaded us up with all that stuff because we have to change the course a little bit here. Coming up just up the hill, there's a residential neighborhood set. It's called Elm Street. And that is where Eddie Murphy is currently hard at work on Future Master.

Peace Norbit. So, you know, we need Mr. Murphy demands focus. You know, he has to commit to this. He needs absolute peace and quiet. And that's why we're going to enter what we call a quiet zone. Okay. So I'm going to go off, Mike. I need you guys to do the same. And I need everybody out there in the audience to stay completely silent until the quiet zone is through. That means no talking, no laughter, no sound whatsoever out of respect to Norbit. So here we go, quiet zone. I'll let you know when it's over. Please, please don't, please, respect the process, please. Hi, this is Future Scott. At this point, we started playing clips of Raspusia from Norbit, jumping on and crushing the character Norbit, still with a warning to stay perfectly quiet. That's what's happening. Guys, guys, guys, shush, shush, shh, shh, sh. How could you, please?

What could you possibly find funny about this? Please stop. Okay, folks, the quiet zone is over. Okay, thank you for bearing with that. Thank you. Thanks some of you for being respectful. I guess some people, you know, I thought you wanted to learn about Hollywood.

and then you're in Hollywood and you're not helping a production out. So I'm a little disappointed. But you know what? It's okay because in the next room, you can make as much sound as you want. It's a sound stage. All your noise will stay in there. And the next place is called Sound Stage 50. What you're about to see is an actual working set.

It's a recreation of a San Francisco subway station. The cast and crew are on break right now. That means we can head inside. And there's a good opportunity to kind of look at some details that real sets have. you know, you see some lights there, you see a craft service table. How about that? They got all kinds of fruits there. They got apples and bananas. It's for snacks, not meals. That's for snacks, not meals. That's important to note. Meals are catering. Yeah, yeah. It's important to note you'll never find a plum on a universal set. When, for Carl Lemley bought this land, it was a,

it was a plum ranch. And the owner, Herman Plumfeld, was very upset to be evicted. He called it a hostile I'll takeover. I don't know. Those are his words. Oh, my God. Calm down. It's just a little California tremor, folks. We get them all the time.

Nothing to worry about. Oh, no. I guess I was wrong. I think this could be the big one. Whoa. Oh, no, here it comes. Oh, no. A liquid gas truck.

No! Oh. My God, the horror. Okay, I think the worst might be over. Oh, no. Title wave! Okay, oh, few, folks. You made it.

Well, as you smell that stinky, stinky water, congrats are in order, because you just survive in an earthquake that's 8.3 on the Richter's scale. Incredible. Wow. And you know what, folks, Keep your eyes peeled because you may notice

a complete lack of an earthquake in this sequence from the film, Big Fat Lime. You can't run a wolf kid? Yeah, we'll see about that. My lover! Oh, boy. Okay. Wow. You know what? After all that craziness,

I think we could really use a breather. We could stand to relax a little bit. And I've got the perfect place. We're heading for a calm little New England town called Amity. So now I'm not naive about Amity. I feel like, you know, you may have heard reports of sharks in this area. But as you can see, we've captured the shark, and we've got a police diver in the water right now, making sure that no future sharks are causing mischief.

Uh-oh. George. George, look behind you. The way you're looking will never reveal the shark. Spin around. Can you hear me, George? Say something. No.

He did say something. He is screaming. He technically did as I asked, but I don't like it. George, he had guts. And there they are. Oh, my God, guys. Okay, don't worry. I'm going to keep you safe. Okay, we're just going to hide behind these highly flammable gas tanks. And I think that I'll make everything. All right. Oh, no. He's pulling the dock. He's pulling the dock. The gasoline is flying everywhere. This is a horrible Rube Goldberg-esque chain of events. This could not be worse. Oh, my God. Watch out, folks. Here he comes! Oh! Oh my God, he did the worst thing a shark could do.

He jumped up slightly. Oh, folks. How about that? You just survived Jaws. You made it through Jaws. Okay. That was fun. Okay, but moving on from Jaws,

just to keep going to some other stuff that we... Yes, sir? Oh, on from Jaws, man. Yeah, we're moving on. We've got other stuff to do. What? What, whoa, whoa. Sir,

some, I need a microphone. It's right behind the typewriter, sir. Moving on! Well, we'll turn it on. An angry Jaws fan is stormed the state. Yes, yes, what? What's the,

I pretty much said all there is to say about Jaws? You said all there is to say about Jaws. I am the biggest Jaws fan in the world. What? Seemingly, okay. My name is Pete. Pete Zerizzo. And I love Jaws.

That's my main thing. And I, for decades, have been searching to the answer for one question, and I thought I was going to get it here, and no one's given me the answer. Well, look, I was the valedictorian of my tour guide class. I might have the answer, sir. If you would just come at me with a little bit of a call. warmer energy. You're acting a little bit like John Taffer from Bar Rescue. Okay, okay. And I don't appreciate that.

Okay, fair enough. I just, it's been, it's been a rough life. And I've, I've increasingly started to wonder if perhaps there is no answer to this question. If I've been on a fool's errand. Well, what's, tell me the question, Pete. Did the mechanical shark work perfectly? during the principal photography of the 1975 movie Jaws. I mean, I know the answer, but I thought it was such deep, obscure Hollywood lore

that nobody would ever want to know that. Government secrets! Even Trump won't release that file! What's the answer? What's the answer? I can tell you. I can tell you. I will tell you. You know what? I have a photo that kind of indicates that this mechanical shark, it had a lot of problems. It was really wonky.

It did not work perfectly on every take in the film. Okay, but most takes. Most takes it worked. You know what? The answers that you seek might be contained in the next scene

that I was going to have us do a little table read of. Pete, I don't know how you are as far as performing and acting. Classically trained. Classically trained. Oh, then we're good to go. Julia.

That's lucky. That's very lucky. Well, you know what? The place where you found the microphone from, you will also find some copy of a little scene. Oh my God. This is a video that actually, true fact, this

video we heard was at one point pulled from the tram DVD and by popular demand all the tour guides stood up and said bring it back. This clip must be played and let me just divvy up the parts here. Jason, you'll be playing the role of the greatest director of all time, Steven Spielberg.

You're wearing the right hat for it. Mike, if you can get so intense, as to become the great Roy Scheider. And then, Pete Zerrizo, do you have it in you to maybe portray Richard Dreyfus? Feels like typecasting, but sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, so, so this is a little scene that explains the technical difficulties that would occur on Jaws. That's a much maligned shark. It didn't work half the time. It didn't work hardly at all. We just waited around We just waited and waited and waited

Whenever you were on the island You could hear the radio mics They were always saying The shark is not working Repeat the shark is not working It's really nice to hear The shark worked well enough That for a while there

We had the biggest hit of all time So I really owe that shark a lot. Wow. There you have it. Wow. A little stage reading. Well, I hope you had fun. I hope that answered your question.

I cannot tell you the full circle clarity. This has brought me in my life. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I feel completely settled now. I can go back to my seat, knowing for a fact that the shark didn't work,

the shark that they gave no name during the film. Whoa, ba-p-b-b-b-b-b-b-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p. Well, now, hold on now. You're going to want to brace yourself. Yeah, dude. Yeah, grabs your apple-law and something. Okay, okay. Yeah.

But they called it. It was a prop. They just said the shark, right? Well. The shark actually did have a name. They didn't just call Jaws or whatever. The shark was named Bruce. What?

I'm hearing this for the first time right now. Really? I'm so happy to break that news to. you. Yeah, now you can rest of these. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Of course, anything. I cannot tell you how much this means to me. It is so nice to know.

They called the shark Bruce for no reason whatsoever. Hey, Pete, Pete, wait, hold on. This is, this is going to, Pete, this is going to blow your mind. It's going to blow your mind. There actually is a reason that the shark was called Bruce. Do you want to hear that reason? Yes, please, yes. I think everyone might like this.

I think you might like this a little bit. Bruce, the vicious man-eating shark, was named after Stephen Spielberg's La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Stephen Spielberg's lawyer! Gentlemen, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Gentlemen, Thank you for that sublime moment moment. It's truly sublime, sir. You know, Pete, there's a pretty sublime, sir. There's a pretty comprehensive exhibit

about a mile or two down the road. What? If you went ahead in that direction. About what? About what? About chores. I know. You'd think they would have had it ready for the summer, but they didn't.

Four time. You already are the only fact that matters. You know the shark. You know the shark's name. You know why it was named that, and you got to dance to gasoline. What more could you ask for? It was truly sublime.

Thank you, gentlemen, so much. Pete Zarizzo, ladies and gentlemen, Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. Thank you. I just, I thank you all for your indulgence in this. I just quickly, two corrections. The young teenage boy wearing the Volt t-shirt that you made fun of at the Thunderbirds premiere,

that's Academy Award nominated filmmaker Brady Corbe of the Brutalist. Feels like a fact that you should know. That is exactly up my alley. Also, NECA's ultimate bride of Frankenstein Monster, figure comes with an alternate hand of him holding the Stogey like this. You should know that.

I have that. Wow. I have that figure. Pete Zarizzo, ladies and gentlemen. I have that figure. Oh, my God. Wow. What a fun little bonus presence in the show.

That was great. I thought he could dance really well, but it's too bad that guy didn't know how to rock. You could feel it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, just, yeah, very, very valuable. Okay, well, you know, where do we go from here? Well, I got something really exciting, folks.

We're heading to Miss Mona's Chicken Ranch from the Best Little Oras in Texas. Now, this is a practical set, not a facade. That means we can film on the inside and the outside. This is another one of those things that I think is a little dry, and I think we could do a little bit better than that. We can, that is why. I am going to suggest that Jason Sheridan now takes us on a tour, of where Shriver's saltwater

taffy is made. Hey, great. Cool. Yeah, I actually bring this script with me everywhere I go. I hate small talk. Let's say. Since 1898,

Trivers in Ocean City, New Jersey, has made saltwater taffy the old-fashioned way. These taffy wizards mix up sugar, corn syrup, and butter, and a large copper, kettle. Once cooked to remove the water, a sticky, sugary mixture is formed. The mixture is moved to a cooling table, where eye-popping colors and flavors are added. Next up, the pulling machine.

No need to pull by hand. This amazing device stretches and twists the taffy for you. Perhaps you're wondering, where's the salt water? Well, fun fact, saltwater contains no salt water in 1883, a different taffey maker, David Bradley, had his taffy supplies soaked by an ocean flood. He jokingly called it saltwater taffy, and the name stuck. Let's get back to the process, the wrapping machine portions. Out the sweet treats, precisely wrapping 4,200 pieces of taffey per match. The end result, an ocean city.

tradition and a smile on your face. You should have, as I say this, you should have like a hype man with a big, big boombox that's playing that song. And as I said it, I realized I'm the guy who should be holding the boombox. You can yell out other tradition of like a lot of molasses flavors. don't forget about nut rolls that's just like a glob of caramel with peanuts rolled on it that's what they thought was fun before fun was invented nowadays we just call it payday

another pearl of wisdom bam bam bam bam yeah yeah what's up I'm having a little bit of trouble back here I think I'm out of an old school gagging problem. Oh, no. Yeah, we learned that Scott and you are gaggers. Yeah.

Hey, man. You've already done three quarters of the door. I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through the part about hysteria. Scott has a real affliction to dryness, even the mention of a dry topic. Yeah, I don't know. The gagging starts, you know. I am worried. Was most of that inaudible to most of you?

All right, we're figuring out the technical stuff. Okay, look, the premise is I got nervous, okay? When you were doing the taffy stuff, I just, I remember that the tour does make me nervous, blah. And I don't know if I'm able to go through with doing wisteria lane, blah, blah, blah. Okay, but I have somebody who's going to fill in for me, okay? I found somebody who I used to do the job with, and he's going to help us out, all right? Okay, so I'm really sorry about this, but please give it up for my friend, Dale. Oh, yeah.

Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale. Wow, from the Cowboys of Six Point, Texas to a real-life cowboy on the studio door. Oh, geez. I wish in my dreams, only to match up to the macho energy displayed in many of the greatest films ever made, I could only wish to do so. Hey, folks, I'm Dale, the name's Dale. I'm a many-year veteran. Nope, no, well, I didn't get to see it.

I'm a little curious, taffy making, you say? That's right. And they're long taffies, not the short stubby blobs. You find it many vacation destinations. another pearl of wisdom that's right well that you know I'm in good company because there's nothing I love

more than pearls of wisdom sweet glistening pearls of wisdom that's why I got the job on the tour so many years ago it's why you know I'm kind of a veteran of the place I'm a guy you trust I'm not a guy who's back there yacking it up his face down in a

toilet and you know what that's where I hate to knock on Scott my co-worker but that's where his version of the tour belongs in the toilet well you know what disagreement is part of what makes this country great dale getting some dunks it say that for reddit brother careful uh you know no i'm here to uh i'm going to take over for scott and uh i'm going to restore some dignity to this affair much like six years ago when dignity was restored to this country by the great George W. Bush.

Oh, no. And speaking of Bush, well, now, hang on. Those were laughs that come from filthy minds. I wasn't saying anything untoward. I was talking about literal bushes. Hedges, neatly trimmed grass, the kind of things you'd see in a suburban neighborhood,

because we're heading to a place best known as Wisteria Lane. There it is. Yeah, we meet it to Wisteria Lane. It's home to the Desperate Housewives. Big hit show right now. It's a show enjoyed by so many, but less so me. Because for years, I've wondered what I did to make my ex-house wife so very desperate. Desperate for a man who is more emotionally available.

Desperate for the love of a fellow universal employee. namely the guy in the suit playing fival's dad ultimately it was he who left me feeling like a mouse the street was also used on the hearty boys and you know you may also recognize wistaria lane is a different suburban slice of heaven a little place called Nellieville USA there it is Yeah, get into it Feel free No matter what I do All I think you about is you

Even when I'm with my boo You know I'm crazy over you What a romantic piece of work You know if only the whole world were as safe and idyllic as Nellieville. But unfortunately, Nellie can't protect us all. Not any better that he could protect his own face from needing a band-aid.

That's right. There's tough customers out there. People like the proprietor of this next establishment. It's the Batesam Hotel and also the Psycho House. And up there above it, oh, this is white, the Psycho House. I said a little blooper. if you know this bloopers are named after kind of no maybe you do maybe you do hey it's the psycho house anyone want to rest up for a minute maybe take a quick shower um to be very clear that was a joke

i was i was not actually asking any of you to take a shower with me i will never do that at work again not after what happened to me at ladyfoot locker Well, from HR disasters to U.S. air disasters, we're coming up on a spectacular plane crash set from War of the Worlds. We made it look like a plane crashed on top of a suburban neighborhood, but take it for me, folks. It doesn't always take a plane crash to cause a broken home. Dale, I didn't realize, I thought we might see it today. I didn't realize there'd be so much pathos. Well, it's why you get me.

If you want to just a bunch of glib jokes and buffoonery, you turn to some, you know, some little pipsqueak like Scott. But if you want to hear what it really is in the world, you need the wizened face of Dale. Okay. I bet, Dale, I bet you've never gagged in your life. never perhaps only only at the the the scourge of liberalism that we see on the rise in this country makes me want a gag i hope it never fully gets to that point uh so uh you know folks it's been my hope that my jokes today would have you all in stitches but i would never want to see all of you in bandages because you You know why?

You want to know why? Well, if that happened to you, then I'd be looking at a whole crowd full of mummies. You get it, you see. And you know what? I know it's been a long show, but no reason I can't take my time.

Just enjoy the spinning of this chair. Dynasty typewriter just yell at me if I've broken a rule. No, hey, we know what? one of our most successful franchises here at Universal Happens to be, you guessed it. The Mummy. We did. Someone guessed it.

And here to tell you a little bit more about that is Stephen Summers, the writer-director of The Mummy. Hi, I'm Stephen Summers, the writer-director of The Mummy. Great. Okay. Thank you, Stephen. Okay. That was, boy, it's educational to hear from a real filmmaker. Wow.

That's how you really learned. Straight from the horse's mouth. Now, coming up, we got a set from the mummy. It's the tomb of a modip. And, you know, after we built it, we started hearing reports of strange things happening around these parts. And that's all I needed to hear. Strange things. I'm not going anywhere near there.

My co-workers agreed. The drivers agreed. And that's why the tomb of emotip is completely off limits. So, moving on, we'll talk of, wait, oh, whoa, hey, we've gone the wrong way out of a possible two. Wait a minute, driver, you're going, you're going the wrong way. Didn't you get the office memo? No, not the one about unwanted hugs. The one about avoiding the mummy's tomb.

Oh, well, well, I guess it's too late now. I guess we're heading for certain doom as we drive in two. the mummies, too. Not loving it so far. Rushimula caska. You can't have run the wolf, man. Yeah, we'll think about that. Okay, wait a minute.

There's been a shit. Whoa, hey, the real Luffy Goldberg. She showed up. Hey, you are here. Say, have you ever won a Saturn Award? This is not good. Oh, it's not. Uh-oh.

Oh, no. Whoopey. She's being devoured alive by Scara Beetle. My God, too violent of a sight to show to these nice people. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Hey, look, is everyone okay? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?

And guess what, folks? There is something on my face. A fake mustache. What? The hell? Can you believe it? I was Scott the entire time. Wow!

I had you fooled. Wow. I had you both fooled. You thought a barely looking and barely different sounding guy came in here, but it was me or bow. Wow, the masculine energy, though. Where did you get it from?

That's not something I usually have? Oh. Yeah, usually. Okay, okay. But this was so much more. Look, I wish I could grow a mustache. I try. I can, and that's why I wear them fake sometimes,

but I can't do that all the time because it smells bad. So I portray characters like Dale, the final and biggest Hollywood illusion of them all, a human facade. And now I think we've proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that, I don't know, Hollywood's full of illusions, I guess. Yeah.

We did it. We proved it. And that means that we're about to say goodbye to the old tram tour. Oh, yes, I know. I wish I could live in this, honestly. But before we do that, let's take goodbye to our old pal, the whoopster. I just love a happy ending. And that's just what this is. Think about it.

Carl Lemley had a dream to make audiences laugh, cry, or sit on the edge of their seats. That sentence seemed really familiar to me. And you know what? We haven't let him down. In fact, Mr. Lemley's City of Entertainment here has grown

beyond its wildest dreams. Wow. And that, my friends, is a happy ending right out of the movies. So, chow. And as we say in Hollywood, that's a wrap. Yes.

Oh, it's so beautiful. Man, oh, man. So nice to hear it. Does that, do we lose it entirely? Maybe. No, no, here we go. Okay. Well, folks, that'll do it.

I'm going to be hanging out after the tour for a few minutes. If you have comments, questions, phone numbers. Thanks for the line, Steve Slaga. Otherwise, it's been great. Hey, if you liked the tour, my name is Scott. If you didn't like it, my name is Griffin Newman. Thanks, everyone. everybody, enjoy the rest of your day here in the entertainment capital of LA, and we'll see you in the movies. Thanks, folks.

participating dynasty typewriter, thank you for being so on the ball with the tech stuff and adding to everything musically, lighting wise. I just want to tell you that that was absolutely the second best time I ever had doing that material. And I only say the second. I say the second because the first best has to and will always be a time where an acquaintance came to take my tour and I was really playing to her the entire time. And when it was over, I got off the thing. I said, what did you think? And she said,

I have such a crush on you right now. And, oh, Aaron, thanks, pal. You said Fraulein. May I? Let us forever hunt for Schnitzel together.

Yeah. There is the Evan Almighty set. I've crashed on you in the arc set. Okay, but now, official conclusion, you have survived Podcast the Rides month of September. I really appreciate everybody. It's really been a blast. Thanks, everyone at Dynasty, big time.

Thank you, Mike Carlson. Thank you. Thank you, Jason, Whoopi Goldberg, Chair. Thank you, Pete Zarizzo. Thank you all for coming out. This is an absolute pleasure. And once more, because I'm... I can't help myself.

Until next time, we'll see you in the movie, Big Fat Liar. You can't have a wolf kid? Yeah, we'll see about that. My love it. This has been a Forever Dog production.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Sillio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. Thank you.