Podcast: The Ride - Skycoasters with Mike Hanford

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

Mike Hanford (The Sloppy Boys, The Birthday Boys) joins us to talk about those giant, scary pendulum-like attractions known as Skycoasters.  America's Favorite Leading Man & America's Favorite Sweet...heart episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/UVsj8VAfPc0 FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 FOREVER! DOG! Gather up to two friends in a big bag and free fall into the world of Sky Coasters with comedian slash daredevil Mike Hanford. Pull the ripcord. It's Podcast the Ride, a podcast about rides, except sometimes it's not. And also it's often just speculation about rides that we haven't been on because we're too scared. I'm Scott Gairdner, joined by Mike Carlson. Yes, I am here, and I am scared still to this day as I enter my late 30s. Well, I've been in my late 30s for a little while. But, yes, you know what's funny? You remind me now.
Starting point is 00:01:14 I looked at some of our reviews on whatever Apple podcasts because I haven't done that in a while. I don't like to do that. They're so nice. People are so nice. Oh, this is wonderful. We love the good boys or whatever. But then you get, like, two stars. What what is this this isn't about rides these guys just go
Starting point is 00:01:29 it's 10 minutes of tangents what are they what are they going to get to the topic and I go oh I guess we have to allow for that part to get figured out yeah just they're they might not even dislike it they're just processing what all the listeners yeah deal with at some point I'm not even mad at them I'm not like what all the listeners have to deal with at some point. I'm not even mad at them. I'm not like they're not mean. It's not like they wouldn't be on like a Jimmy Kimmel mean social media bit or something. They're just confused.
Starting point is 00:01:52 And I understand it. I get it. It's an adjustment that you have to make. Look, we are talking about a ride. And Jason Sheridan hasn't been on the ride. But I feel like you might go on this ride today. Yeah, I would say this is definitely a ride. And one I would consider.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Consider at least. Consider at least. Once I got over the hurdle, not a fear of being, like, however high you are in the air, but the fear of the dreaded add-on. The dreaded upcharge. Oh, it's the price that would get you yes yeah jason's biggest fear could you scale it uh but now i can chalk it up to research when i was like 18 or 19 you couldn't write off your theme park add-on or your tourist site your
Starting point is 00:02:39 your gorge add-on sometimes this ride appears at gorges. This is an attraction that is everywhere. Maybe you don't know the name Sky Coaster offhand, but they exist all over the place. It's in every continent except Antarctica, which Antarctica, why are you sleeping on it? Get a Sky Coaster going. It's a big like harness and cable-based attraction that is an add-on at many theme
Starting point is 00:03:05 parks everywhere uh and we're gonna delve into it with somebody who's done it and if you are a fan of today's guest and you're looking at this and thinking this is a long overdue guest you don't know the half of it uh from the birthday boys from the sloppy boys it's mike hanford hello thank you for having me yet again. Does the audience know what happened last time? They don't know. We maybe have alluded to it, but I don't think they know the full picture. We haven't explained it.
Starting point is 00:03:35 We had a wonderful conversation. A long two-hour conversation. It was great. People were being informative. Funny stories were being told. Particularly good, I think. I'm not patting myself on the back. You were great. Of course, you were informative, funny. Stories were being told. Particularly good, I think. I'm not patting myself on the back. You were great, of course.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I went into it being like, oh, I hope I have something to say. I don't know much about rides. These guys are the experts. And we had a great conversation. We did, all about Sky Coasters. It was Sky Coasters. And then it fell into the pit. It became the very first
Starting point is 00:04:07 podcast, The Ride, that was ever completely lost. The only one aside from, we lost a City Walk saga, but then we just re-recorded it. This one, in a much broader sense, just disappeared. Mike, I feel like you have to Mike Carlson, I think you have to
Starting point is 00:04:23 go back into your stress because you had to deal my carlson i think you have to uh go back into your stress of that because you had to deal with it first and most yeah so we were using a little zoom recorder and it was a hot day and we hadn't figured everything out maybe about how we were recording outside to do it in person and it was last year and if you don't know los angeles i mean probably everywhere but last lately los angeles has gotten so morbidly hot every August and September. So it was a nice backyard chat, which I liked too. Was it a year ago we did that? It was over a year ago.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Yeah, yeah. You're in change. We were all having fun. It was hot vax summer. Everyone was acting like just living life to the fullest. It was hot what summer? Hot vax summer. Oh, hot vax.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Oh, that's right. Yes. Oh, yes. When the vax. Oh, that's right. Yes. Oh, yes. When the vax came and changed everything. Gum companies were doing ads saying like, go out and kiss strangers
Starting point is 00:05:11 after you're vaccinated as long as you chew Trident gum. We have the vaccine in the gum now. Yeah, we have the vaccine in the gum. Only us. The other term.
Starting point is 00:05:23 I do look at my vax card and it's like, you know, they got the date, and it says try that next to it. Try it. Yeah, property, Procter & Gamble. Yeah. So we were in the heat, and I noticed it like toward the end of recording that I was like, oh, this should be like in direct sunlight. That's not good. So I didn't cover it, but I think it was too late.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Yeah. Because then I went to stop it and do everything. And then it was loading forever. Then it shut down. It was the dreaded, like, we were done. And then it was like, oh, great. Thanks. Thanks for having me. And then you were like, hold on.
Starting point is 00:05:55 In a tone that just meant, wait a minute. I'm reliving it now. And I feel the stress coming back. It's like the muscle memory of the stress. I'm sorry. I feel like you had to, unfortunately. Well unfortunately well yeah i'm the one who hits record i have to pay attention to it when we're not doing it in the studio i know how you feel it's not your fault at all but i know you just because you were the closest to hit the record button it's on you you feel what it's not it is
Starting point is 00:06:17 well it is it's like in apollo 13 doesn't one of them uh feel maybe kevin bacon feels the guilt the most yes for what happened? That's true, yes. Because he pressed the buttons? Yeah. So you're Kevin Bacon in this. I'm Kevin Bacon. Or whatever the real astronaut's name was.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Yeah, well, we don't know that. We just know Kevin Bacon. We don't know. That's been lost. Yeah, there's no way to look that up. There's no way to look that up. So Jonathan Space, probably. Yeah, yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:06:40 I think what we learned was that the Zoom recorders are pretty rugged in in terms of hot and cold but the direct sunlight will just destroy them because as that was happening my phone was also like a brit my phone did that apple yeah overheat thing and i went that's weird those screens yeah the screens yeah crazy um so but anyway you could have been nicer about it which is great because look it's oh time. Oh, that's great. I'm glad the time was valuable because you're doing it again. I'm not convinced this is being recorded. We had an issue with I can't hear anything in my headphones. If you're watching the video, I'm not wearing these.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Some of us are wearing them, some of us are not. There will at least be video recorded, I think. And we'll be able to dub it over if for some reason the audio isn't working. Now we have to bring you in and make you dub over. Because have videos so you can just go you've done adr yeah yeah yeah just all right so just watch your mouth for the next 90 minutes remember all your tangents memorize what i say let's all do that yeah so you you do get the superlative of being on the podcast the ride lost episode but you might also be our cooler you know the guy that casinos sent to like he's on a run send him next to it send william h macy next to it yeah there was also
Starting point is 00:07:54 then because then i saw you the next day or so because you organized a bar hang and it was uh that i gave you the official verdict you're like are, are you sure? I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry. I tried. I tried to retrieve it. I was online. Yeah, you had like little hack notions. Yeah. You told me and I instantly said, two shots of anything you got behind the bar.
Starting point is 00:08:18 We need to erase this from our memories right now. That's right. That's the spirit. But then that was at eventual podcast The Right Topic, Tam O'Shanter with the guest for that episode, Tim Kalpakis, who the next morning we all got texts from saying
Starting point is 00:08:33 I have COVID and we may have, everyone may have. And you two didn't feel well because you both did shots of creme de menthe that Mike wouldered from behind the bar. He said anything? Anything, man. Whatever's closest. The nearest
Starting point is 00:08:49 bottle. Midoriya Blue Curacao, please. My favorites. But then, anyway, you immediately said, let's do it again. I said, oh yeah, maybe we could talk about something different. And you said, no, we're doing Sky Coasters. No, this is the only thing I know. Sky Coasters. No, because only thing I know. Sky Coasters.
Starting point is 00:09:06 No, because it was when you asked me to do the show, I was like, oh, what would be a ride I know specifically? And this kind of was the only one I could think of that was like, I've been on it. Because I've been on a roller coaster before. I don't remember the loops and the twists. I don't remember any of them. It gets very, we don't talk about a lot of roller coasters. Sure, I know. Because you get into like, well, and then the G's.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Yeah. Like it sort of becomes very dry and factual i got a funny roller coaster story i'll tell you as we get into it since the last recording oh i was wondering yeah if anything had transpired related to our show in the last year um but sky coast you're committed to sky coasters although in the intervening time i think we all forgot what these were called yeah yes yes right you texted and said uh are we still doing the giant swing and i didn't know either those things could be named that on the you know some signage it could be called giant swing i think that's it might be a more accurate title because sky coaster in the listener if you haven't seen one of these you might not be picturing what we're talking about because coasters are the biggest keyword when you think coaster is track i would say and there's no on track right that's oh wheels too yes see what
Starting point is 00:10:15 coat the word coaster translates from yeah it's from the latin origin yes um but it's not. It is just, it is like a, it's adjacent to bungee, bungee jumps. Bungee jumping. Bungee jumping. Bungee dive. Bungee swing. I mean, there's bungee swings. Yeah. But then it's not bungee because it was invented to be a better bungee.
Starting point is 00:10:41 They were trying to reinvent the bungee. And something that's more of a free fall. A smoother bungee, yeah. Yeah. Well, withoutgee. And something that's more of a free fall. Yeah. Well, without the snapback, because that seems like the unappealing part of, no one here has done a bungee dive. I'm afraid of, I'll be honest, I'm afraid.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Bungee seems like if it's, it just seems like a apparatus or an event that will happen sort of off grid, if that makes sense. So I just don't know know the safety protocols are there yeah it feels like yeah because like at disney for the most part you know you they've gone through sort of you could assume safety checks every morning in fact yes there's too much money to be lost at disneyland but the thing like the ones where you see them like on a bridge yeah is that permanent i don't know right are they just tying it up there like that seems like the MTV sports version when people would like
Starting point is 00:11:26 do their own like I have my own bungee equipment I do this and then we opened up his stands or like then it felt like who's checking this stuff who's regulating we got five bungee deaths since 2015 that's not crazy in America but deaths are bad
Starting point is 00:11:41 deaths are bad I agree can I read the summary of like what the creators I just think this is so odd what the creators had in mind when they invented this they wanted to find a way
Starting point is 00:11:58 to let others experience the thrill of jumping out of a plane or the thrills of bungee jumping but with the safety factor of a merry-go-round how do you get to that point how do you get to the point where you're like so this and this but then it's as safe as getting on a little carousel i think it yeah that seems tough to do but it's but it seems like i think it's he's they were kind of after what we're talking about where if you're worried about like this bungee jump operation seems like two guys
Starting point is 00:12:29 who have a bridge that nobody's told them to leave right could we get it seems like almost what they wanted more was like theme park uh infrastructure and safety and also that this could be kind of like rubber stamps in in a lot of different theme parks, which it is in a lot of big ones and six flags and the chains. And it's so easy. It's just like an arch or two sticks and put a swing between them. Pretty much, yeah. There's kind of like a loop or an A frame,
Starting point is 00:13:00 and then another big stick that you are pulled that's the technical term and it's you are pulled back by that one and then released is that right yeah and i think you pull it yourself the one i did i yeah i forgot so i've talked about this i did it in i think sixth or seventh grade we did like a school trip at the end of the year and we had to borrow money from a cool teacher who there were like three of us who wanted to do it, and we're like, oh, well, we don't have any money. And our cool teacher was like, I'll pay for you guys if you pay me back tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:13:30 We're like, done. Money exchange with a teacher is really strange. That is weird. It felt like this is not what you need to do for us right now. But we did it, and you go up. We were in threes. You could do it probably these days. They probably have them as much as six or seven.
Starting point is 00:13:48 That seems like a bad idea. Why? Six or seven people can be up on that thing. But it is kind of like a sack almost or like a blanket. Yeah, you lay face down. I forget if we put these like, you know when you go to the dentist and they do x-rays, they put sort of a- A smock.
Starting point is 00:14:04 A lead vest. Do you like that as a nap fan? Is that like oh that's a little relaxing i do find it a little comforting i mean weighted blankets are very popular i don't think i would like that much weight on me when i slept all night but like but you do like wearing a lead vest i kind of like i've never i've never liked going to the dentist. I really didn't like it when I was young. So having a little comfort, having a little safety blanket. Well, I don't like it because that means they're giving me the x-rays. And they're putting the plastic in my mouth, and I'm a gagger. Me too.
Starting point is 00:14:38 And it's got to be just so. They keep moving around. And you've got to make sure. Breathe in your nose, and I'm just like this. I'm like, it's like Clockwork Orange for like 10 minutes. And I'm like, that's the way to do it. It always goes through my mind, too. It's like we got this laser shooting right in my head.
Starting point is 00:14:53 And we're just covering my body with the lead. Yeah, they're shooting your brain with x-rays. Oh, that'd be cool, too, if they gave you some big like, you know. Tron helmet. Yeah, yeah. Or Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.unk the kids oh yeah yeah sure or like or more of a because it's just your mouth so it's just it should be more of like a roman helmet yeah that kind of goes like magneto's helmet yeah yeah yes with like a little cut out here maybe with a little nose ridge i like that on a helmet when yeah yeah yeah be it a super villain or a soldier to think of a roman soldier with that little nose ridge. I like that on a helmet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be it a supervillain or a soldier.
Starting point is 00:15:26 To think of a Roman soldier with that little nose piece. Yeah. Those things aren't held on their head so tightly that if you get hit in the nose, the whole helmet's going to pop off and your nose is getting hit. Or spin around. Yeah, that's the word. Oh, right. And then it's jutting into your back.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Yeah. Look, there's a reason the Empire collapsed, okay? They paid too much attention to ornamental nose pieces. Nose ridges. Wait, where were we? Oh, the blanket, the heavy blanket. Yes. Oh, yeah, so they kind of put you in this smock thing,
Starting point is 00:15:56 if I remember correctly, and then the three of you, three of us, got into this other harness thing that went in front of us. They sort of lay you down on your, you're looking, you're facing down, and they pull pull you up and then one of us had to pull the string pull the rip cord and then we away we go and i think they counted it off like from a megaphone here we go one two three i the the making you do it i hate oh my god this is an element that i don't skydiving the but the jumping off the stratosphere in Vegas,
Starting point is 00:16:26 they make you jump. And I don't like a ride that forces me to start it. Right, right, right. Because I can't do it. Even like rides I like, I bet I wouldn't be able to pull a big lever. If like the times I've jumped off of like a high dive or a high cliff into a lake or something, it is always that like, okay, I'm going to go. No, no, hold on. I'm going to count down from 10.
Starting point is 00:16:44 After 10, now I'm going to count up to three, and I will do it on three. I promise you all. Yeah. I can't. I can't do it. This might be a weird thing to equate it to, but now that you and I have both had children,
Starting point is 00:16:56 doesn't it feel like the ultimate, like we have to pull the ripcord, and I feel like the way both of us did it was like, we still didn't quite do it. It was kind of like, well, we'll see. We'll see we'll see to have kids yeah to decide to do it it still felt like not a full pull of the rip cards like i don't know maybe it'll happen i don't know let's not think about it well you want it to be maybe it won't so it probably won't actually it won't and then we won't have to okay easy well we i mean this is too intimate i mean it happened real quick for us. We were very lucky. But yes, I don't think that's too into it.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Well, to me, I'm covering up. This is so personal. I just don't want to reveal so much about myself. But but yeah, well, to some degree, it's such a big deal. I mean, I have said before, I almost wish like we just like during the pandemic, especially I was like, I wish we just had the kid already. Like, I wish it had just happened somehow. So there are big life choices where you're like, okay, this is going to be intense, but
Starting point is 00:17:52 we got to do it. Could somebody else just do it for me? Yes. Could somebody else just decide? This happens all the time. That's kind of what happens. You let God decide. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Whatever you want to define it as. The ultimate decider this is the best we can do because we're too afraid to go on this thing and pull a ripcord really well metaphorically we've uh yeah still not pulled rip I want to go back and talk about the ripcord but after talking about having children it seems silly here's one more thing about the piece of nylon you actually do have to know Mike's under a lot of stress at this current moment with sleep. This is what he needs is to think about something else.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Yes. Sixth grade hijinks. Week five. We're in the shit. Oh, you're very recent. Yeah. You look great. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:18:35 You didn't sleep? No. Well, you could never tell. Thank you. So going back to the ripcord. Yes. Somebody has to pull it. And it's one of those things.
Starting point is 00:18:44 We were like little seventh, eighth graders, so we didn't have the big man muscles we have now. So inevitably it's that thing where someone pulls it a couple times, and you're like, is that it? Is that it? And then it gets you on one you don't even think is coming because they pull it three times, it doesn't work, and then they give it one real big pull, and then you go down.
Starting point is 00:19:03 So you don't even really get to like savor the moment. You're kind of like, when's it going to happen? Oh, yeah. Oh, gee. It did happen. It just suddenly. Yeah. That feels to me like the the the vests because there's a cord that you're pulling on the airplane vests.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Yeah. If there was an emergency. Right. Right. And I've always been so sure I would not get it. Like it sounds simple. Yeah. They probably make it simple
Starting point is 00:19:25 but aren't you like positive that you would fuck it up you're you're grabbing the seat cushion before you even try the best yeah i think so just to be sure my phone and my ipad get that above water putting my hands up i haven't listened to the the like safety warnings on a plane in years because you know what's going on. And if something did happen, I'm like, fuck, what are we doing? I haven't been listening to this in a long time. I haven't dated on this. I've forgotten everything.
Starting point is 00:19:52 It's also crisis-wise, I just don't know how I'll perform. I don't really know. I've been in like a minor, you know, minor crises where I'm late to record a podcast. You're a minor. I thought I did something wrong today because I pulled up and you were both standing outside. And I was like, oh, what the fuck did I do now? We were mad at you. You weren't ready for a scolding.
Starting point is 00:20:17 I've only been awake for an hour and 15 minutes. I couldn't have done anything yet. Oh, I definitely was like getting ready at nine today. I was like, is it 10 we're doing this, or was it 9? No, not 9. 9's too early. 9's too early to talk. Ripcord.
Starting point is 00:20:32 It's Ripcord week. Got to get caffeine, get the juices flowing before you talk. So the Ripcord is pulled, then you're swinging, and then you're free falling. How was the experience? Yeah, you're doing the old Tom Petty plunge, as they call it. You go down, you swing, and then you're free falling uh how was the experience yeah you're doing the old tom petty plunge as they call it you go down you swing and then you swing way out above the whole theme park and where were you also uh darien lake darien right outside kind of near buffalo okay um and oh they've uh one of the funniest uh lines i've ever heard in my life happened there i'll tell
Starting point is 00:21:02 you about that in a second we flew you fly way out over the park, you kind of maybe wave to people so people are looking up at you, and you go back and forth a few times and then you're done. And it's not that exciting. It's not, it doesn't make a mark on your life, really. Other than, hey, I can talk about this on a podcast
Starting point is 00:21:20 one day. What's a podcast? I remember last time that towards the end I was trying to do some like, so for the listeners, would you recommend the Sky Coaster? And you did say no. I think there's,
Starting point is 00:21:32 you can get your thrills in other places at the theme park. But the, also during like, they had the Superman Ride of Steel, which was kind of new
Starting point is 00:21:40 at the time. This was a few weeks. This was a Six Flags also? Yes. That's what I'm trying to get at. It then became a Six Flags. But they had the Predator was a cool wooden roller coaster. Anyway, when it became a six flags, we went back.
Starting point is 00:21:51 So this was after eighth grade. There was Superman Raya Steel. It goes, I don't know if there's different versions of it, but it's one of those ones that like, when it ends, it's just like the cars come in really fast and just like stop right there. Yeah. And we were waiting in line we were the next ride up the thing comes back in and this guy was in his seat who didn't really enjoy the ride
Starting point is 00:22:10 and was like get me off this ride not now right now and that is that has been that has lived in my brain rent free as they say for nigh on many years. The difference between now and right now is not urgent enough. Not right now. And he was a big guy. It's just funny to think of his kids were around him and just like, we had fun. Get me off this thing. Wow. That Six Flags, for some reason, you will hear more memorable quotes from strangers, I feel like, than any other theme park.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Because when Gio and i went to fright fest it was like there's like 10 quotes of like random like when like uh when we heard the dad go watch your brother i gotta go take a shit which i might not have exactly right but that's the gist of it everyone kind of cuts loose at a theme park and you even your language gets a little loose but see yeahags, everyone's comfortable. They're not, Disney is so uptight and black tie affair. I have to use the lavatory. Watch your, you're my son and my daughter, of which you both know each other.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Six Flags, you know, you could have a beer and a little pen and really cut loose. That's what I wanted to do. I went to a Six Flags right after we recorded the episode last year, and I didn't know Magic Mountain had a sky coaster, and I took a picture of myself very sad and mournful in front of the sky coaster due to the incident, but I didn't want to wait in that beer pen line. How much was the sky coaster? Do you remember? I don't think I got close enough to see okay because we we sloppy boys were just on tour and we went past
Starting point is 00:23:50 the on the five past the magic mountain and i was like oh we should do this for an episode like go there and basically what you guys do but uh i looked up tickets they're like 86 bucks i was like that's crazy off off season like for magic mountain well that's i don't know maybe i just don't know prices you need to get the annual like the annual pass is like 95 dollars yeah like and it pays for itself in one yeah it's like it doesn't make sense to go once yeah yeah you have to go five times but then i did that and then i i was like oh maybe the annual pass will make sense i thought that before i went in and then after spending two hours there i was like, oh, maybe the annual pass will make sense. I thought that before I went in. And then after spending two hours there, I was like, I do not want to be back here. There's also so many.
Starting point is 00:24:31 I feel like deals are much easier to get for Six Flags than. Yeah, that's true. Bring a can of Pepsi. Yeah, bring a couple of Coke cans in the car. Like scrounge around in the trunk. I bet you could sneak in. I bet it's not that hard. Yeah, it is just kind of like, at least that one's just sort of like against the hills. I bet you could sneak in. I bet it's not that hard. Yeah, it is just kind of like,
Starting point is 00:24:46 at least that one's just sort of like against the hills. I don't think anybody's checking. You can jump a fence. Yeah, yeah. Did I talk in that Six Flags episode about the flume ride that I went on? One of the only things I did that had kind of like a wheel
Starting point is 00:25:00 that was powering the ride where they just slathered on a bunch of tar. And I could have so easily stuck my hand in that tar and just had my hand. There's no barricade or a sign telling you not to. It's just my strongest memory of the day. It was like cake frosting. That's why you go to Six Flags, is for that,
Starting point is 00:25:21 for those memories. Yes. For the tar, for the dad yelling at his kid. That and you go by the Midway and you see every booth has a hose and they're just cleaning the walkways with hoses. And it's like, why are you just doing this? There's no one here. Surely a broom could do the same thing and not waste water
Starting point is 00:25:43 in this barren Valencia landscape. Especially there, yeah. That's such a dream. So, well, so it was like fine, but then not. Did you feel like you wasted the teacher's money? No, because it was fun at the time. But just looking back, like if I saw one now, it would be like, oh, yeah, I got you a thrill. I'm going to go up there again.
Starting point is 00:26:04 It's a quick ride. It's pretty quick. That's the thing. It's very quick. It's like a roller saw one now it would be like oh yeah i got you a thrill i'm gonna go up there again it's a quick ride it's very that's the thing it's very yeah it's like a roller coaster is longer yeah so it's like yeah like once you do it it has to last like what under a minute yeah because it's the initial drop and then a few swing it's not a lot of like swinging back and forth especially if you're a light little kid it's very short. You just go like, wee! Go back down like a leaf. You're on your belly, which I don't like. This is another thing I don't like. I haven't done the Superman coaster.
Starting point is 00:26:35 What's the other one? Tatsu. This is a thing I maybe will conquer one day, but I am afraid. This is left on your fear list. I'm afraid to be on my belly. It's like we're doing for the baby we're doing what they call it tummy time oh you put the baby on this to get the baby to like get its head up and i hate tummy time for me for yourself coaster coast whatever uh you like it yeah i'm like you're very you're pro belly boy i'm a belly boy I can't fall asleep
Starting point is 00:27:06 on my stomach as I'm trying to fall asleep I'll do it for a minute or two I like sleeping on my stomach don't get me wrong I like sleeping on my stomach but I can't convince myself to fall asleep I can convince myself to fall asleep on my stomach
Starting point is 00:27:22 it's not a good thing for my neck maybe but yeah, I know. The legs dangling makes me uncomfortable. Belly time on a roller coaster makes me uncomfortable. Do you share any of it? Do you understand any of this
Starting point is 00:27:38 or these particular, or would you just kind of go on whatever? I've been on Tatsu, I think. Yeah. That was fun, but it was terrifying it's like this yeah when will this thing just open up and we fall into the right forest down there if they would give me like a little extra something to hold on to like a little like for like a train like that loop on a train that i could hold on to or something like just in case yes even just because i have to put my tension somewhere i have to like grind into at least
Starting point is 00:28:02 little handles or something if Or I got a parachute. In case it opened up, then I can just parachute safely down. I don't think I have a proclivity one way or the other. I can ride them all, but I just haven't ridden a roller coaster in a long time. Actually, no. Remember earlier I said I was going to tell you?
Starting point is 00:28:20 Oh, yes. What's this? At Coney Island this summer, I was there with Jace Armstrong and Nick Cirelli in New York. Oh, yes. Nick and I did a 10K down there on the boardwalk and then ran a little 10K race. Wow. We were there for the afternoon. You're good.
Starting point is 00:28:33 And it's so funny. Those coasters down there, they had a brand new one called the Phoenix. And it's one of these ones where you're sitting, but your legs are dangling. Yeah. If I remember correctly. Yeah. And the thing comes down around your chest and you can hold on to the two grips in front of you. But it's so short.
Starting point is 00:28:48 It was like, you go up, I was like, I think there's a loop in this one. And it's really just like, looks like a loop, but you're just kind of going sideways. The whole ride was probably 25 seconds.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Yeah. But the thing that I love the best was we got on and I was wearing Crocs and I didn't have the back strap done and I was wearing sunglasses and the guy came up have the back strap done. And I was wearing sunglasses. And the guy came up who would check our seats. And he's like, hey, take your sunglasses off.
Starting point is 00:29:10 I said, okay. And he's like, and just switch your Crocs into sport mode. I was like, what's that? He's like, put the looper on the ankle or the heel. I was like, oh, sport mode, right? If you want to get into some sporting stuff. That's a phrase. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:29:24 And then this other guy, the other guy came around. He's like, it's not that rough. You'll be fine. right if you want to get into some sporting stuff that's a bad grace that's correct and then this other guy the other guy came around he's like it's not that rough you'll be fine sport mode not needed is that a popularized yeah really what is the sport mode on crocs has sport mode is is the heel strap is when you actually when When you put the strap around your ankle rather than wear them like a pair of clogs, says this weird official Crocs website. Yeah, I haven't thought of Crocs as being plastic clogs, but that's what they are. That's all they are. It is funny. All they can be.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Because, like, you could, I could see where a lot of things, like, it's easy to have things flying off of you on some of these coasters. Yeah. Like, Jason and I did hang time, and I think I said this already once. Hang time is at knots. It's someone that goes straight vertical first, which scares the shit out of me. And I'm clinging to the thing in front of me when we're doing it. I stupidly had my phone on me. They tell you to leave your phone.
Starting point is 00:30:20 But I remember going, oh, how does this not happen all the time? Oh, my God. There must be underneath that roller coaster the time oh my god there must be underneath that roller coaster that spot there just must be like every night money and phones while i'm going vertical i move my phone to like my butt pocket yep and i'm sitting on it at an angle so i'm already terrified of the 90 degree or whatever it is yeah and then you're uncomfortable i know that feeling you're like i put it in my pocket like try to get my pants as tight as possible there so it sticks the
Starting point is 00:30:45 phone tight. Yeah, and I was at least wearing jeans at the time. Now I'm wearing these, what are they called? Joggers. Joggers. Things fly out of them all the time. Sure, sure. So I get why he would say, those Crocs are going to fly off. Put them in sport mode. I understand it. I do appreciate when you're on a ride and the
Starting point is 00:31:01 seat back in front of you has a netting that you can lock in. Yeah. Yeah. Cell phone net you has like a netting that you can like lock in. Yeah. Yeah. Velcro netting. Yeah. It often feels like it shouldn't work. Like something will shake it loose.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Yeah. None of it should work. Don't worry about it. When I was back in Jersey, I went on that Gale Force roller coaster that I talked about on the Hometown Parks episode. And I gave my mom like my glass and hat to hold and she's like oh you don't want to take your phone i was like no i want to take a picture in the line and i was fine my pants are really tight and uh you did my pants are tight yeah and then i get up to the line and there's be there there's like bins on this cart with wheels on it and they're like,
Starting point is 00:31:45 empty your pockets and I see you have to empty your pockets in this bin and then someone is wanding you. Like metal detector wand. There was like eight people loading this ride. I was like, this is the most efficient thing. And I was like, I just have a
Starting point is 00:32:01 phone. And he's like, oh, just put it in there. We wheel that on like next to the car. Yeah. But he's like, no, we wheel it. And then we wheel it next to the car. No, they wheel it like you go past like a turnstile. And he's like, yeah, we wheel it around to that. And no one gets to those besides the people in the car.
Starting point is 00:32:22 So I was like, OK, that is surprisingly like you guys have your shit together more than some bigger parks is it just so like they're wanting you for you know a set of keys so they don't fly out and well so they don't fly out yeah for sure and and they don't hit someone or they don't get lost but then it was like a lot of like back and forth and vertical screws. Would you have lost your – Yeah, I probably would have lost everything. Lost everything. I would have been done. He keeps his –
Starting point is 00:32:53 Financial ruined. Jason keeps his life savings on him at all times. Yeah. When they load you off, they're like, did you lose it? And I'm like, yeah. They're like, all right, the barrels with straps on them are right there. Put it on, brother. There should be an armrest, like,
Starting point is 00:33:09 storage on coasters. Yeah, that's a good idea. Like in a car. Yeah, yeah. That would be good. Just put them in there and close it. You ever been on a jet ski before? No. No. Scared. Too scared. They have little, two or three times I've been on, they have little compartments you
Starting point is 00:33:25 put your phones and stuff in and then it's supposedly waterproof but i'm like i don't know who owns this jet ski where is this waterproof i don't want water on any of my stuff did you try it i did because i'm not going to leave it at the jet ski place so you rented a jet ski and then it's just it's like it's exactly like in a car yeah it's like this one right in front of you yeah okay jet ski recommend i'd recommend especially if you're in the right area i was down in uh uh where was i sarasota florida my parents had a little vacation uh place there i went down to visit them oh cool and boy we the three of us were on two jet skis and at first dad was like okay just one jet ski like we're getting two jet skis and the three of us were on two jet skis. And at first, my dad was like, okay, just one jet ski? I'm like, we're getting two jet skis.
Starting point is 00:34:06 And the three of us are not going to be on a jet ski together. That's an odd mom-dad-son. And I'm not sharing with anyone. I am getting the lone jet ski. It's like a jet ski built for three. Like three different handles. Handlebars. The family that is excited about that possibility.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Getting some real time together. Get on there. All of us in tandem on a jet ski. Well, that kind of goes back to when you asked me if I had a picture of me on the swing. Oh, yeah, yeah. On the Skyrocket. I forgot it was that long ago. Like, of course you did.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I didn't know. I forgot if it was less than five years or so. Well, when you asked me, I was like, no, no, I don't get pictures on roller coasters. That was like a Hanford, like like no way we're spending extra money to get a picture of us on the thing we were just on sure so just the same thing with the jet ski it's like oh yeah all three of us in one no we can splurge now that we're a full adult yeah yeah i'd say so uh um do you do coaster ad that seems like also that seems like a thing your parents would teach too like um once or twice like i have one a real old one on a Scooby-Doo roller coaster, and then I have one on the Incredible Hulk with my dad.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Oh, well, that's nice. From, like, 2003, and that's nice. Okay, okay. And that was the most surplus plastic frame. So, like, as soon as I, like, tried to take to my college dorm room, like, a chip, a chip came out of the corner of my face. As soon as I put it in a box it was like oh the cardboard made the plastic chip were you just you were displaying that in your college dorm well yeah it's mixture yeah it's a family and stuff it was it was also cool
Starting point is 00:35:35 it had the whole i'm not saying the family thing is weird i'm saying like you have a big like hulk like uh you know like hulk display from the was just up on the bookshelf. You know? It was at the East Tower. Yes, sure. You know, you were there. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. I forgot. We were there for a couple years. We called that room... Yes, okay. So you were the one with the Hulk picture because we were like,
Starting point is 00:35:59 God, whoever's in that Hulk's room is pulling on some chicks, man. Oh, unbelievable. Do you think the chip in the plastic is going to hurt his chick chances? No. The chip's going to be fine. The chicks don't care about the chip. No, he put that massive dictionary
Starting point is 00:36:13 his mother gave him with his graduation gift, with that massive paper dictionary that you would never need again. You were sent to college with a big dictionary? Yes, yeah. Yeah, a new to college with a big dictionary? Yes. A new alarm clock and a big dictionary and it held up the alarm clock. I had a picture in my room so when I moved into, I think junior year
Starting point is 00:36:34 in the Emerson suites. The air conditioned one with your own bathrooms. Did you guys overlap in dorm rooms? No. Not rooms. You'd remember if you were roommates. Buildings rather. My grandmother. Did we say Ithaca is Ithaca? Yeah. My grandmother rooms no no not they're not rooms you'd remember if you were roommates but yeah buildings rather we uh my grandmother did we say ithaca's ithaca right yeah my grandmother helped was with us with me to like as i moved in i don't know why she couldn't help but she was there and there
Starting point is 00:36:56 was a we took a picture in the dorm room that just her and i and then that picture got developed put in a frame and given to me at like christ. So then I had that in the dorm room. Or like Thanksgiving. Yeah, I was like, so here's a picture of me and Grandma. We were right here. Yeah, we would talk about that. And I still have that picture. It's a lovely picture. I love the Grandma. We would talk about that
Starting point is 00:37:18 dorm room. We'd be like, have you guys been to the puzzle dorm room? Have you been to the MC Escher dorm room where there's a picture of the picture? The picture of the picture? Who's he trying to impress in these smarty pants pictures?
Starting point is 00:37:32 He's impressing nobody standing by the door. Hey, anyone want to see the crazy ride? Come ahead and see the crazy picture. Picture taken right in this spot. Alright, what else can we say about these things? Oh, oh well here's the thing okay so the biggest one of these see if you recall any of this from a year ago uh because there
Starting point is 00:37:52 were a couple of colorful characters yeah yeah there were a couple of weird i didn't quite remember him myself but um so the biggest one of these that exists is at Fun Spot, which is in Kissimmee, sort of near all the parks down there, Disney World. It's 300 feet tall. So that's the craziest one of these sky coasters you can do. And when it opened, somebody, one of the ultimate daredevils that ever was, was at the opening inaugurating it. And there's a picture, jordan if we have it uh this is a 82 year old water skier banana george blair um there he is yeah remember this at all there's banana george he's an old man who in this photo is water skiing uh barefoot uh and holding it with his mouth.
Starting point is 00:38:47 And he's holding two bananas. He's in an all yellow jumpsuit and he's holding bananas in both hands. Wow. I'm just reading the stuff on it. Starring in a new movie. Yeah, with Ernest Borgnine and Artie Johnson from Laughing?
Starting point is 00:39:00 Yeah. He also, yes, this is a headshot that he signed in 95. So he's in his 70s maybe here wow he waterskied a lot at cypress gardens and at the time yes he seems to have been promoting a new film captiva island with ernest borgnein and arty johnson what is that number there 84 over 12 is that a fraction what is that he puts the day he just signs it Banana. His name is Banana. No, he's got Fred up there. And then the date and then 80.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Oh, maybe that's his age. He's 80 and 412. That's got to be it, right? Reduce this down to one, two. Well, he doesn't know math. He doesn't know fractions of fractions. He knows water skiing. He does it because he's in the fourth month of his, of the 12 is for the, yeah,
Starting point is 00:39:46 I get that. I get why that's easier. I sort of do it with my toddler, but it's weird to do it with an old man, but it's kind of neat. I, it created a little mystery we had to solve. Um,
Starting point is 00:39:56 this guy's pretty interesting in general, uh, even regardless of the Ernest Borgnine film, which seemed too dreadful even to look at, even on this podcast. Oh, I'm so done. I said Fred. Fred is the person he's making it out to.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Oh, right, right. Gotcha. I thought it was Fred Banana. Oh, I kind of missed the Fred, too. He's in the darkness of the trees. Well, he did that, I think, because it's like, I want all the glory here. Put Banana on the white,
Starting point is 00:40:20 Fred up in the dark part where I can't read it. This isn't about you. It's about me, Banana, and my 80 and 4 12th birthday. That's wild. Regardless of the age of the man, I don't think I realize people did this water ski with their mouth.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Only gripping the... We've talked about various things we're afraid of, and then we're watching an old man hanging on by his teeth. By his chompers. Yeah, I've seen an old man pull a by his teeth. Yeah, wow. By his chompers. Yeah, I've seen an old man pull a car with his teeth, but waters? I've only seen an old man eat with his teeth. Some of them can't even do that.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I still got a dog, yeah. Hey, good eating. Just want to remember this. Put it next to my grandma in the dorm. All the fresh water and salt water for this guy. He looks much better than Evil Knievel did in later years. Did Evil Knievel live harder, perhaps? I think he did.
Starting point is 00:41:14 I don't know everything. I don't know much about him, but that'd be my guess from his vibe. I don't think Banana here was falling from a great height very regularly. Yeah, I guess not. But he encountered a tough life for Banana. The reason that he took up water sports and daredevil kind of stuff, because he had back injury for many years. Oh, now take it back.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Because in the Great Depression, a gang of violent hobos threw him from a moving box car after an argument over some beans When did that happen in during the Great Depression When he was alive, and I don't know what age that's just I mean I guess I accept that there were a lot of hobos in the Great Depression But that the fight we know that the fight wasn't over just anything, that it was over beans.
Starting point is 00:42:10 So the ape Simpson and the guy who actually created it, itchy and scratchy, threw this water skiing van, this pre-water skiing van. These blintzes are lousy. Ape banana. Wow. This is a... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:22 And he overcame that and still got to inaugurate the Sky Coaster. And that's how he had his back injury? Yeah, yeah. So up through his 40s, he was very inactive. So he got beaten by the bindles? You could guess that, I would assume. Yeah, yeah. I mean, unless the hobos are stronger with kicking than the bindles are going to be.
Starting point is 00:42:44 But I don't know. You can get a lot of force with those. I'm guessing loose boards, loose planks were used. Oh, maybe. That's what I just pictured. There's probably a lot of those around during the Depression. For boarding up businesses that are closing. Jason, how are you picturing this hobo assault?
Starting point is 00:42:59 Just some low blows, some dirty shots, you know. Constant low blows? Low so like old boxers kicks from behind kick to the knee you know okay kick to the and probably like a big kick to the butt to send out of the box no foreign objects no honor you know no foreign well no maybe some foreign objects you know i just wanted to see how you saw it since you lived it. Since I was one of the boxcar children.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Nice first one up. Yeah, I know. Ooh, can I amend mine? Now I'm picturing a big katana blade. Sort of, he pulls it out of the sheet. It glints in the moonlight. Okay, all right. And one swoop loses his head.
Starting point is 00:43:41 That's exciting, honestly. Yeah, that's what I'm picturing now. Ooh, then an Uzi. that's exciting yeah that's what I'm picturing now ooh that an oozy one other question about it maybe is that it was an argument over some beans and you think like hey those are my beans but what if it was an argument over which beans are best
Starting point is 00:43:56 oh okay pinto kidney pinto kidney I like peas get em is peas a bean peas gotta be a bean. Get them. Is pea a bean? Peas got to be a bean, right? What's that? Pea is a bean.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Maybe technically. Is it? Is it a pod? Maybe not. I don't think it is. No, I don't think it is. That's why you have to do that. We'll look into it.
Starting point is 00:44:18 They're green. They're green. That's for sure. This we know. No fighting needed about that. We do have a, there is a clip here. If you want to throw your headphones back on, this is a clip of Banana George Blair appearing on Regis and Kathy Lee.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Oh, wow. It's a little quiet, I know. It's mainly about what we're seeing. Oh! The cat is... He water skis onto the show. Oh, my goodness. He's pulled by a man.
Starting point is 00:44:56 He's in a full yellow, like, suit and then cowboy hat. And then, listen really closely for what he says to Kathy Lee. Okay. I knew you were gorgeous. I didn't know you were dynamite too. We could stop it there. I knew you were gorgeous. I didn't know you were dynamite too.
Starting point is 00:45:18 And he takes, you know what's good about that is he doesn't throw it away. He makes a real meal out of it. He pauses. That's what freaks me out. He really, if you aren't looking at this, he really locks eyes with her, waits for the audience to die down. Look into my eyes. I couldn't hear it, but the whole exchange was intense.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Yes. My headphones don't work. Menacing. It was menacing. Hey, me and George have got sort of the same color scheme going on here. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Hey, banana Mike Canford today.
Starting point is 00:45:50 I can water ski. I should try it. It should take up the mantle. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. I'm kind of doing an homage to banana George Blair. And now he's shoeless because he came out of the water skis. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:01 That's true that he does all this with bare feet. Yeah, boy, oh, boy. He looks, the hat looks like almost like it's well i guess i was gonna say it almost looks like um like a wisconsin like cheese hat or something but yeah it's just the color it's like a brighter yellow might be verging on orange but yeah he's his whole gimmick is banana did you guys ever have in high school or something grade school or middle school uh like a teacher who had a thing like we had a teacher who like liked pigs so she had a bunch
Starting point is 00:46:30 of like pig ornaments around or like a stuffed animal pig on her desk and like that was her thing did you guys ever come across anyone like that who just like their thing was oh i mean there's like beanie baby people obviously but like somebody who's like, I remember being at a church once and the head of the church like liked frogs and there was a little area with like stuffed frogs and stuff. An altar. Secondary to Christ on the cross. Yeah. I was like, what kind of church is this?
Starting point is 00:46:57 I think I had a teacher. I'm trying to think like panda bear. Like maybe my third grade teacher, like it was panda bears was like the thing. There was like an identity. Like somebody's really trying hard to have an identity and it's like you can always get that person a gift if it's like oh yeah pig coaster here you go happy birthday yeah yeah i mean there was a there's a teacher in high school who got him i didn't get him this somebody else got him a a pen that with the lady' clothes would fall off. So his thing was he was like a creep.
Starting point is 00:47:31 There were a couple of those guys in high school. Yeah, we had a couple. I had a couple of those. They were escorted out some days, and I never saw them again. You know what? Sorry to get off here on a tangent. I was the one to do it. Yeah, you're right. There was a teacher who was like, after y'all graduate, we all
Starting point is 00:47:46 go out to Hooters together. And then we were like, well, ha ha ha ha, yes. And then nobody went because we were like, this is so weird. But he went and then one of our friends went and he still denies he went. We go like, you went with him. And he's like, no, I didn't. We were like, you did
Starting point is 00:48:02 go. We know you went. And then that teacher i've heard may have been arrested for stealing a credit card and calling like a porno line from school i think i don't know if this is real i've not confirmed this story or not but it makes sense because he was also saying inappropriate things about our female friend at the time oh my god. It sort of makes sense. Yeah, I guess if you think about it, it all adds up. He would be like, guys, you got a beautiful woman.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Why didn't you put her in your movie here? And he said it, like, loudly in front of the class. It was like he was teaching, like, film in high school. Oh, no, let me teach you how to light a beautiful lady. Yeah, and there was one time when it was like you have to cast a movie or something, and I think I cast Jessica Alba. And he goes, I want to congratulate you, sir. And he shakes my hand.
Starting point is 00:48:51 He goes, for putting the dark angel in your script. Wow. Ew. I got white. I think I have 10 more stories now that I think about this guy. Wow. Oh, keep them coming. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:49:04 He would say, well, I think the issue with kids and the sex is that we need more dances. You need more high school dances because that gets the energy. Whoa. And I was like, I don't think that's actually. First of all, sir, you don't need to have an opinion about high school sex at all. Don't put those words anywhere near each other. The question is, when is the half day over tomorrow? Okay, one more, one more.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah. It's the senior brunch. We're just about to graduate, and he comes over to sit at the table, and he's talking about the same female friend, and he goes, all right, guys, I'm just going to say it. Now, this person's name is hot. What? And we were like, oh.
Starting point is 00:49:45 And she was there? I think she had gotten up. Okay. I go, yeah, I go, this is her boyfriend right here. And he goes, well, I'd like to shake your hand, sir. Why shaking hands? He gets a lot of congratulations in his handshake. I'm uncomfortable with the handshaking.
Starting point is 00:49:57 Yeah, yeah. It's physical content. As much as he's able to do with the high schoolers who he clearly wants to do more with. There were so many people that should not have been teaching. Did he seem like a person who was just like so off the wall, like had no idea? Like, not to excuse any of this behavior, but just like, oh, I have no idea how to talk to anybody. This is how I speak.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I know all these people. Or was he like, oh, I'm going to be a, or I'm a creepy guy. He didn't know he was being creepy. He thought he was one of the boys. He thought he was being creepy. He thought he was one of the boys. He thought he was being cool. He thought he was being cool, yeah. Which is also so inappropriate. By the way, the person I'm talking about listens to the show, too, the female.
Starting point is 00:50:31 What? Jesus. Does she know all of this? I'm pretty sure she does. I think we've said it many times. Does she know? She knows she is who this is, even though her name was not said. I'm sure she does.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Okay. Apologies. It would be hard. You got up from the table at just the right time. Good job. The best glass of punch you ever got. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she would have been well within her rights to just look him dead in the eye and just say, gun.
Starting point is 00:50:55 What? Gun. Like, no one would convict you for the court of law for making a threat to this man. Oh, sure, sure. That's such a terrifying move. You just listed. I know. You just scared the shit out of me. Yeah, sure. That's what you thought we were going to do when you pulled up this man. That's such a terrifying move. I know, he just scared the shit out of me. That's what you thought we were going to do
Starting point is 00:51:08 when you pulled up this morning. Gun. I have like... Hold on, I think I do really need to make the point. I do not condone this. When I was like, is he this or this? I'm not making any excuse for this. I felt like I needed to make that.
Starting point is 00:51:23 You can't be too careful. It's interesting to see where these people are coming from because I literally can I think 70% of the teachers I haven't had in high school, grossly irresponsible. Right. Saying crazy stuff. And most of them, I would just say, were completely out of it.
Starting point is 00:51:39 Like, had just been doing the job too long and maybe never should have been doing it. Yeah. But, yeah, everyone's got their own, like, where they're they're coming from spot like this guy seems like any job he would have he would be behaving that way yes you know i mean yes and also these teachers are performers and they're having fun expressing themselves right right too and a lot of the believe it or not a lot of people's ideas are bad yeah you'd be right a lot of people's ideas are bad. Yeah. You'd be right. A lot of people, yeah. We had a teacher who we knew we could manipulate into just putting on a movie and dropping everything, you know, for the thinnest of reason. And my friends and I in high school were getting into, like, let's find kind of the weirdest videos we can find at the VHS rental place. And thus we in school got the teacher to put on a movie called The Sex Machine.
Starting point is 00:52:29 This is and it's crazier even than just like a guy. And yeah, I'm the sex machine. It is about a literal sex machine. This is a movie. This is a an Italian sex comedy from the 70s that we found dubbed. And it's a movie about an apocalyptic future where we're running out of fuel but a brilliant doctor figures out how to harness the electricity the friction of sex oh wow and use so that all of our sex uh fuels like all the world's electricity
Starting point is 00:53:01 um and i remember the teacher that we put it on. Did it work? It worked, but it went too far. By the end, he's grimacing at the world he created. Where people, I think where it ends up, it's actually kind of smart. It ends up at like no one, people only have sex in a functional way. No one does it for fun anymore. Good, good, good. This is what Mike wants. Good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Well, see your dream world in the sex machine. I remember that the teacher, the your dream world in the sex machine. I remember that the teacher, it's the first time that there were naked breasts. Again, this is my doing. I apologize. I got naked breasts to be shown in this high school classroom in this movie, and the teacher said,
Starting point is 00:53:37 is this pornography being shown in my classroom? And then proceeded to keep the movie on. I just am curious. i don't want it going which i was look i love i recommend you can find the sex machine this is a genuinely a brilliant film actually i love it you kids are getting a kick out of it so am i i'm just making sure this is pornography and if so great um this is all, mine looks very wholesome now because I had a seventh grade geography teacher who went to the University of Tennessee
Starting point is 00:54:11 and clearly really loved it because he had so much orange Tennessee Vols, the Tennessee Volunteers is their football team. He just had so much. On the walls, he had sweater vests he had sweaters he had uh windbreakers he had and then his son who was like a year behind me started wearing tennessee vol stuff and looking back i'm like where did you get all this stuff you couldn't order it online like i know there's college supply. There are college sports stores,
Starting point is 00:54:46 but I was like, it's just impressive. Cause then he'd pull out a new coffee mug or a new hat. And I'd be like, how much is there? Wow. Well, you,
Starting point is 00:54:56 that's an interesting point about the internet, like not being able to order online. Cause it's like, yeah. Somebody who likes the pigs or the vols or the frogs. Like when you see something, you get like, I got to get this thing.
Starting point is 00:55:05 I might not come across it every time. Oh, sure. If you're traveling or something, you got to grab it. Well, we were all taught by a bunch of weirdos. Straight up lunatics. Clearly. I could do an hour on it, on all those stories from my school. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Hold on to him. Let's keep talking about him. We need a code for this. Professor Hooter. Oh, yeah. He's also Let's keep talking about him. We need a code for this, Professor Hooter. Oh, yeah. He's also not the funniest one of all, either. He's maybe like three or four on the list. The Hooters thing is so funny, too.
Starting point is 00:55:35 It's like, no, we're not going to Hooters with you. And also, we don't want to hang out with the teachers at all. No. Yes, yes. Like, least of all at a Hooters, but even at a Denny's. Although a student teacher came over to watch wrestling with us once. Oh. But that's not, there's nothing.
Starting point is 00:55:50 He was 22. Oh, okay. How close? Yeah. 17, 18, we were. Hmm. Okay. In the interest of having actual things about, well, you got something?
Starting point is 00:56:02 You mentioned the Fun Spot Orlando one. Mm-hmm. And i believe that one was originally at the mgm grand adventures in las vegas oh yes and it moved uh when that shut down in the early 2000s uh-huh uh-huh yeah that was at the the uh the mgm grand theme park that used to be uh in las vegas and i think it's it outlasted the theme park apparently they kept it up even when the theme park closed. I have a commercial for it, but the sound was pretty bad to begin with,
Starting point is 00:56:29 so I'll just describe what happens in the commercial. There is a guy, it's like heavy heartbeat. The guy is rising up and beginning his sky coaster journey. I forget what they called it there, but the, it doesn't matter. I don't need the name. So he's like getting ready to go on this thing.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Could be. Okay. Yeah, maybe. So anyways, the guy looks nervous and the voiceover is saying, you've got a house, you've got kids, you've got a minivan, but right now the only thing you want is your mommy.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And then he drops. And then you watch this guy fly much higher than the MGM Grand, which is a very tall hotel. And if this thing is at most 300 feet, there is no way that it is higher than the MGM Grand. But that mommy thing, that's fantastic. That's great, like, extreme. That's a great, like, 97 era.
Starting point is 00:57:34 You like your mommy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That could be an ad for that or, like, Wild Cherry Pepsi. Either one. Yeah. That attitude, too, is very 90s commercial like that kind of cadence yeah right like so like nasal to like the way maybe the devil might be or a bug maybe yeah well yes he's the king of that sort of voice yes um you know i watched a video just someone's home movies there's uh
Starting point is 00:58:06 on youtube and they were they were riding it in wildwood i think there was one or two uh on the boardwalk or on a pier in wildwood new jersey and uh the red hot chili peppers are playing the entire time perfect i feel like you that's that's what's got to be playing when you get which song one of these um i think it was like all right all right got it got it that's good you know i know which one i know which one it is i don't want to say it's about california but the course is about california but it's not californication is it dan california yeah okay yeah i couldn't remember the name um so that's but it's not Californication. Is it Danny California? Yeah, right. I couldn't remember the name.
Starting point is 00:58:52 So that's playing, and then the people holding it are kind of narrating, and it's just very nice to hear someone from the tri-state area going like, oh, I want to get on that for a million dollars. I'm not getting on that, John. Listeners, if you don't know your regional uh lingo john in uh around philadelphia and new jersey john means any item uh anything can john just what thing thing like oh that john can you hand me that john over there that feet the fiji john what is it what are they there's john's what the situation you just put me in, you really needed to add more. Oh.
Starting point is 00:59:26 This system doesn't work at all. Fiji John. There's a bunch of items over where you're playing. How did he live like this? He said Fiji John. He did, but when you only said John, I didn't know what to do. Is this something that you say, but you got rid of it when you came out to LA? I never say John a lot.
Starting point is 00:59:40 I don't think I learned it until pre teen, pre-teen or teen years, and then I started clocking that some people call a thing John. Have you ever heard this before? I'm wondering what – it's like J-O-N? J-A-W-N. John. I'm wondering what that is coming for, like a shorter version of something. I don't know the origins of it.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Interesting. I should look it up, but I mean, it's to the point where if you're at the Philadelphia airport, you can buy Eagles or Flyers shirts that say, like, John. Eastern Pennsylvania used to refer to a thing, place, person, or event that one need not or cannot give a specific name to. Huh. Yeah. I mean, I get it like, oh, pass me that thing over there.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Like you're pointing. Yeah. You just can't think of the word or something. Huh. Huh. Yeah, I guess it could just stand in for anything. Huh. But it only kind of works with that accent, though.
Starting point is 01:00:34 Like if I was like, oh, could you pass me that, John? Yeah. That wouldn't sound right. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't sound fun. What the fuck do you want? Like wrestlers will say like gimmick.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Give me that gimmick right there. Give me that gimmick right there. Give me that gimmick. An item is a gimmick? Yeah. You listen to Steve Austin's podcast. His uncle Steve Austin. The gimmick right there. Huh.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Uh-huh. What are we trying to get around by not naming the item? Seems pretty easy to just say what you want. There's so many versions of this, like doodad or thingamajig. I get what I just never heard that. Yeah, I've never heard it either. There's so many versions of this, like doodad or like thingamajig. I guess so. I get what I just never heard that. Yeah, I've never heard it either. And I've known this guy for a long time.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Yeah. He's never said it. He's never enlightened me about it. I don't think, yeah, we didn't really say it in my house. It wasn't until like middle school or high school where someone was like, John, you know a John. I want you to start using it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:24 All right. Oh, yeah, try to just slip one in in the rest of the episode just try to refer to something as a john in the context that oh sure pennsylvanian would um but but watching that video and then watching you know they of course have it at six flags great adventure north jersey and your beloved wisconsin dells it's there and And the thing that dawned on me is like, if something goes wrong, the last thing you will see is Six Flags or the Wisconsin Dells or the Jersey Shore. And take that as you will, because I think some people would be thrilled at that. Like, well, there's worse things to see when you're going out. Be thrilled to die in the Wisconsin Dells. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:04 I mean mean there's worse ways to go i guess so yeah i guess no now you say that but this uh they are proud of the sky coaster people are proud there's never been an accident with one of these there's something that does seem a little precarious yeah it's incredibly better than bungee yes we looked it up five deaths just since 2015 never with the a Sky Coaster. Nice. That's some information that comes courtesy of the inventor of the Sky Coaster. Maybe you recall us talking about this guy last time. Yes, I think this guy had a funny... We have a photo.
Starting point is 01:02:34 His name is Bill Kitchener. It's nice to look at. I would never have expected the person who made an amusement park swing look like that. To be so professorial. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's got sort of a funny look to it. Yeah, he's very scholarly. He looks like a Sears portrait studio in the background.
Starting point is 01:02:55 I mean, I like him, and I love that this... Coat fits him well. Nice tie. Yes, yeah, they go together color scheme-wise. You know, you look at this esteemed person, not only the inventor of what we're talking about, Sky Coasters, but also the inventor of... There he is.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Let's look closer into his eyes and think, this is the inventor of indoor skydiving. Wow. Wow. He started the company SkyVenture that eventually became iFly, which is the thing we did at CityWalk with Paul Scheer. You ever done that?
Starting point is 01:03:28 You ever indoor skydiving? No. Those look fun, though. They're pretty fun. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Is it hard to get? It's pretty hard.
Starting point is 01:03:35 It's hard. There's a learning curve. I think we're maybe all proud that we got like two seconds of unassisted. We are actually up. Mike is a tall man. It was a little hard for me. The guys who are really good at it, that like zip all around, that's wild.
Starting point is 01:03:52 Yeah, the people get to do it all day. Like the experts of it. The experts are good. And then I think we saw like a kid, like a 12 or 13 year old kid go in and like an old hand just went in and started flipping around and going up high. And it's like, Oh my God,
Starting point is 01:04:09 how long has this kid been doing this? Yeah. Yeah. You got to commit to it. Like you have to take classes to get to, uh, actual enjoyment. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:19 I think you, yeah, you do have to like, you could tell there were people there even when we did it at city walk who were like, that was like, yeah, that was there like maybe more than once weekly. Yeah. Yeah. have to like, you could tell there were people there even when we did it at CityWalk who were like, that was their like maybe more than once weekly trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So where did Skyco, how did this guy get into the industry? He didn't do anything close to ride design.
Starting point is 01:04:36 It just, he went skydiving and he liked it and he thought, is there a way, in his words, is there a way to simulate skydiving without having to jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Perfect. Yeah. He doesn't want to waste airplanes, I guess. The sky looks so nice. Why clutter it up with airplanes? A bunch of junk up there. So he drew on a dinner napkin an idea of like this very simple as we've referred to.
Starting point is 01:05:01 It's like it's one stick and another stick. And he built a little model of it. And here's his quote. My girlfriend at the time looked at it and said, you've gone crazy. You don't know anything about amusement rides. And even if you did, nobody would do that. Nobody would get on that John for a million dollars. So I got rid of the girlfriend and built the ride, which became one of the fastest selling rides in the world. I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:26 If you're with someone who's not going to support you, it will just shoot your idea down. That's true. Yeah. I like this guy. I don't want him getting me. Maybe he had other crazy ideas leading on other napkins at other dinners. He's like, this is a hot dog you can ride to work. No one's going to do that.
Starting point is 01:05:43 That's stupid. It's a modern bindle that won't solve any arguments about beans. Why did the bindles disappear in the 30s? That just may have been her stock response. He's drawing. Yeah, no one's going to do that. It's crazy. A pile of napkins.
Starting point is 01:05:56 200 high. You know nothing about theme parks. All you do is write down right ideas, and you don't ask me how I'm doing. What's my name? She's like a famous author. Yeah. And rice. So, yeah, this rogue renegade man went on to invent all this big stuff.
Starting point is 01:06:18 He looks like he will not take no for an answer. Yeah, I think so. He's no nonsense. And yet he did, maybe you guys remember this from before, he did find himself in a precarious situation. Not all is well in the world of Bill Kitchen.
Starting point is 01:06:34 And apologies for not having the if the sound is a struggle here, but do we have the clip which I think I called Kitchen Robbery. which I think I called kitchen robbery. It's a lot, even if you guys didn't hear that, a lot to look at here. Bill Kitchen under the big news phrase ninja robbers
Starting point is 01:07:09 he was part of an the inventor of sky coasters was involved in a ninja robbery yeah yeah is there any confirmation these were actual ninjas or were they just dressed in black and head to toe that's a question right right were they were they And can you call yourself a ninja? Do you have to complete a series? How do you get designated a ninja? Are there modern ninjas? Yeah, if you like being
Starting point is 01:07:33 seen and captured on camera, you're automatically out. Like, you are not a ninja. We got you from a couple angles, pal. You're supposed to be invisible. Oh, wait, that's right. Yeah, we see his eyes in the security camera. That's instant not ninja right there. Wait, is the ninja wearing a hat?
Starting point is 01:07:50 Yes. That could have been Kitchen's hat, though. He could have been like, hey, I'm taking this. Boop. Give me everything in the house. Like that hat. My hands are full. Put that fedora on my head.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Yeah, he's wearing like a fedora. The ninja, first of all, looks like the ninjas wearing like a black sweatshirt and like a ski mask they look a little more maybe out of shape than i think a ninja would be because i picture ninjas doing like kind of acrobatic type moves around to get to the shadows and yeah yeah finding the shadows at all first i think bill is more in the shadows than the ninjas are did bill say they were ninjas or is this the news editorializing again? It might be them trying to, like, get clicks, you know, make it more sensational. Because ninja robbery jumps out.
Starting point is 01:08:34 But aren't ninjas, I don't know, don't they fight for what's right? Well, not the foot clan. It depends on what clan you're aligned with. I know a lot about ninjas. I'm wearing the shirt. I have a lot of toys. If these guys were dressed in red, the headline would be like, this kitchen got robbed by Santa Clauses today.
Starting point is 01:09:01 The exact opposite of what they usually do. It was green mocap suit wearers. Was it Andy Serkis? Opposite of what they usually do. It was green mocap suit wearers. Was it Andy Serkis? Yeah, they fill in the CGI character on the news. Jar Jar Binks robbed Bill Kitchen today. Is that even Bill Kitchen? Who knows? It looks like his arms are bound behind him, though.
Starting point is 01:09:19 Yeah, the hat. Yeah, the hat, no. That's not ninja behavior. It's sort of like Tommy Bahama's style. It's an island casual hat on that's not ninja behavior it's sort of like uh tommy bahamas style it's an island casual hat on top of the ninja did they chop him at all or did they give him a kick like that would maybe suggest ninja was a hi-yah involved yeah like i don't think i this is this is again this is a news media run amok this is this is something that is not good for the people to consume this is getting clicks yeah and we fell for it. We love it. We do love it, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:46 That's true. They're propagating the myth of ninja robberies. Yeah, yeah. It's like Danny from the Ninja Turtles 1 movie. The kid, you know, the kid from Ninja Turtles 1 who gets taken in in the Foot Clan. I don't even think it's their Danny level. I don't think.
Starting point is 01:10:02 Sub-Danny. No Danny. Danny level. I don't think. Sub Danny. Sub Danny. Danny California. My ninja name is Danny California. Anyway, Bill Kitchens still at it. He's trying to build a thing called the Polar Coaster. Do we have a photo of the Polar Coaster? Just imagine it coming out of the wind.
Starting point is 01:10:23 That's awesome. This is something he's trying to make happen. Actually, let me be clear here. On the right is the polar coaster. On the left is the skyspire. They're similar. They're big towers. But one, I think, is a leisurely observation deck.
Starting point is 01:10:36 Yeah, that's cool. You know, these exist. We've all done these where you go up in an elevator and look at the city from a pod kind of thing. But one, you know, you get get a cooler ride on the way up. So one's very casual, and the other one is a daring high-octane coaster that's sort of... If we know this guy uses cocktail napkins, the design of the right feels very cocktail.
Starting point is 01:10:59 It looks like he just kind of scribbled wherever. And then you go this way, and then you have a loop, and like, oh my God. And then like, poof. And then you, poof. How does it get up? Do you go in the middle there? Is it like a vertical climb? Do we know?
Starting point is 01:11:11 Or maybe you get up, maybe it goes both ways. You could get up from the ride. No. How? Do you get down from the ride? Do you take an elevator up? I bet it's elevator. Maybe it's a circular track. It's unclear because you'd have to really elevator up i bet it's elevated i bet it's elevator maybe it's a circular uh a track clear because you'd have to really launch to get to have the force to get up from the start like if you use
Starting point is 01:11:31 the same track oh and for to keep climbing and keep well maybe the coaster goes down but look there's kind of a double helix on the sky spire yeah and so maybe one is up and one the sky spire looks more obviously practical and just just like a better ride. There doesn't look like there's too much going on with the, I don't know, it's just kind of up and down. It's very confusing, yes. I like it. Yeah, well. I will invest.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Well, he'd be happy to hear that because I think he's been trying to get these going for a long time. He's proposed these for a lot of big. What he's trying to do is like, you know, you have a mall in your town. You have a big JCPenney that closed. Let's build one of these on top of it. Because that's a big question is what do we do with all these vacant retail spaces? He's tried to do this in San Diego
Starting point is 01:12:16 and it hasn't taken off. This looks like Vegas or Dubai to me. Yeah. I bet it is. You load at the top on the Polar Coaster and then the car just probably goes back up without people on it. That's got yeah i bet it is you load at the top on the polar coaster and then the car just probably goes back up without people on it that's got to be what it is you would think the one you call polar coaster you would have the blue on the top and the hmm not the purple yeah this could be called a purple it's a very confusing pitch i think that's why he's not getting any of
Starting point is 01:12:39 his might be we have some notes i'm sorry i'm so guilty criticizing him now that we're looking at him again. We'd like to have Bill on. Bill has to know about us. We're one of the most popular theme park podcasts around. Oh, yeah. He's got to have his eye on us. Bill, if you want to explain yourself, make yourself known to us.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Show yourself, as they might say. And show us that winning smile. And then we'll talk about ninjas and we'll talk about the polar coaster. I really like that striped yellow jawn he's wearing. There it is. There it is. Wow, a handsome jawn. You're wearing Bill Kitchen.
Starting point is 01:13:15 You know, he did get a ride installed recently. He has another type of ride called the Unicoaster. And like all of his rides, they're confusingly named. When I say Unicoaster, you probably can't picture what that might be. A unicycle car of some kind? No, that would make sense. One rail?
Starting point is 01:13:32 There's already single rail coasters. I don't think there's any one aspect to it. That's universal. Universal coaster. And it's not at Universal Studios either. There's no crew. There's no... All the way around.
Starting point is 01:13:45 Yeah. No, it's kind of Universal Studios either. There's no crew. There's no... All the way around. Yeah. No, it's kind of a centrifuge. Like it spins and you're in a pod that also flips around. So you're going around and around, but then you're flipping around. And this has been built or this is something... This has been built.
Starting point is 01:13:59 It's called Jimmy Neutron's Atom Smasher. And you can find that at one of our favorite places the American Dream Mall which is out in New York have you heard about this place? we've talked about it a bunch it's a huge mall that's been in slow motion
Starting point is 01:14:18 failure mode for many years it's across several rivers in New Jersey when we were out there, I went. It was an absolute disaster getting there. It took me two hours to get a lift out of there. Not a recommend, I wouldn't say.
Starting point is 01:14:34 If you ever see a big, ugly building if you're in the New Jersey area, it might be that. If you're by the Meadowlands. That's it. I'll check it out. There should be a roller coaster into it and out of it. Like it's hard to get in
Starting point is 01:14:49 and out. I haven't been there. But like a roller coaster that's like a mile away that takes you in and then a roller coaster takes you out. But still has some loops and stuff. That'd be great. Scott discovered that the ride share is an escape room.
Starting point is 01:15:06 It's an inadvertent escape room. That I failed. You're a failure if you take more than an hour, I think, to get out of an escape room. I think so. We're supposed to figure out 30 minutes in. You have to walk to the Valero. Boy, yes.
Starting point is 01:15:21 The hardest escape room ever. Well, what else? What have we not addressed about this ride that swings back and forth a couple times and then is over? Will you three, if you come across one, will you do it now that you've learned so much about it? I guess the three of us would have to do it together. Oh, that would be fun. I'd get the after fried picture of that for sure all of us in a big weighted blanket in a big swat like i'm in baby mode but a big
Starting point is 01:15:50 swaddle yeah the three of us getting swaddled by uh in a blanket by a six flags employee on our bellies for tummy time what is the weight the weight limit was like 850 or 900 pounds so i think we're well we're under that well under that i think we are under that yes i think that's okay it doesn't seem like a risk yeah yeah uh uh so i guess if for that photo op yes i don't know how soon it's gonna happen we're working on some other things to get uh to get brave about i think at this point especially haunt season i've been working on these gentlemen to get a little, get into the mazes. So I think that's step one. Oh, well, you know what? Talking properties, it's very rare
Starting point is 01:16:32 that these things are themed. There's over a hundred of these sky coasters, and there's only one that maybe ever you could consider having like a, even still not a narrative, I guess just a theme. This might have come up oddly with Justin McElroy recently that King's Island, where they had to theme things after properties while they had a Paramount license and then immediately change all of them when they lost the Paramount license.
Starting point is 01:16:58 The one in King's Island was named after the movie Drop Zone. It was called Drop Zone. Can anyone produce any facts about Drop Zone offhand? Does anyone know what it is? Only that we recently talked about it. We just talked about it with Justin McElroy. And then it was already,
Starting point is 01:17:12 it was like in and out. Yeah, and I never heard of it at the time. This is a movie where Wesley Snipes free falls into the daredevil world of skydiving to track down a cadre
Starting point is 01:17:23 of techno terrorists. Oh, yes. Wow. Including Gary Busey as renegade skydiver Ty Moncrief. I mean, that's a killer name. That's a really good name. So, again, I don't think they're, like, doing the instructions. They're not, like, taking it. So remember to place a bullet rip cord and take it from me.
Starting point is 01:17:45 Time on grief. You might not want to listen to Ty. He might be leading you astray. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Wow. That's great. Leave that up for the next recording, please.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Why are we being advertised drop zone today? Well, anyway, you know, talking about this for a while made me feel like a real time on grief you must have felt like ty doing it uh um well i don't know any any fine any final thoughts about this will we maybe we do it maybe we give it a try will you ever again what you were talking about maybe I go with the pop in with the Sloppy Boys. I think I would. That's a trio. After talking about it, I'm going to do it again. Yeah. I'm going to do it again.
Starting point is 01:18:27 Now it's an arms race. Do we three ride it first or the three Sloppy Boys ride it first? I wonder who will get to it first. Who has more opportunities to do this type of thing? The only thing stopping you guys is that you aren't in the same place all the time. But when we are, it is at an amusement park. Well, if it is, update us. Send us photos or videos.
Starting point is 01:18:52 And for now, Mike Canford, at last, you survived. Well, we don't know yet. We don't know if you will, in theory, you survived. At the risk of making this too long of an episode, I don't want to keep it going. Remember the reason I came on last time, the whole initial thing was to sort of bridge our friendship again because I was talking.
Starting point is 01:19:15 I don't even remember the story now because we buried the hatchet and now I've put it out of my mind. But I think we were outside of a bar once. Across from Tam O'Shanter. At the Griffin. At the Griffin. Then Griffin. Then Griffin.
Starting point is 01:19:27 And people were talking about Disneyland. And I said, Disneyland's not good. Disney's not good, I said. That's right. Yeah, because we had just started the podcast. And we were like, oh, a hamper would be great to have on. And then you shot the dream down. I said Disneyland.
Starting point is 01:19:42 But then I said. Negative opinions. Because I see it as and i like this i see it as just a get people in make their money off them and shoot them out well you should know it has become in since you did the show last it has become 200 more that boy they're getting crazy with the add-ons and the maybe you get these the magic man the wrists and the you pay for individual rides and so no no but i love that i love how it's like the most magical place on earth and i like going i really enjoy being there it's fun and you see all the characters and the rides are fun but you know
Starting point is 01:20:16 it's just taking all your money so it's at once the most evil thing and the most wonderful thing you like that you're you're like you're just watching the dance. I love it. Look at him go. So I think when I said Disneyland is bad, that battle, a little fists were up metaphorically. It's the subtlety. Now I see the whole opinion, but then that's all you hear
Starting point is 01:20:38 when you got a couple drinks in you. I like to push buttons, too. You're a rabble-rabble. I like to get people. what did he just say? What does he mean? This is Eric Boghossian over here doing talk radio. So I wanted to be controversial in the moment, and then it came to be where I came on the podcast.
Starting point is 01:20:56 And we did figure it out in Water Under the Bridge, but that's what started this. Water Under the Bridge to bring up the chili peppers again. Great. Full circle. But I do like Disneyland. start this water under the bridge to bring up the chili peppers again great full circle but i do i do like disneyland i think i made that point on the last the lost podcast where's that well yeah so you want it on record here and on record that you don't approve of that teacher's actions right that that you don't forget professor that's bad everything that person did was bad no excuse
Starting point is 01:21:23 got it yeah that it's all on the record, and glad we don't have to have a big bindle war. Right, right, right. We don't have to have a bean fight. Yeah, we can all just hold hands, clap hands, and go to Big Rock Candy Mountain together. You know? I'd like that.
Starting point is 01:21:38 Yeah. What does that mean? Oh, it's an old song. It's an old folk song about- It's in the Old Brother Where Art Thou movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. About hobos luring children to a mountain of candy. Right, right, right. Wait, so we don't want
Starting point is 01:21:50 to go there, do we? It sounds like a people are being lured. Did you hear it as candy? It's a candy mountain. But lured is a bad word. It's like Pleasure Island in Pinocchio. Yeah, that's a bad place too. But there was a ride. There was a boat ride.
Starting point is 01:22:05 But they turn it into- Like boats? But vapor monsters, not smoke monsters, vapor monsters in the Zemeckis movie to turn them into donkey slaves forever. Like the Valencia teens. Plumes of vapor. Like the Valencia teens riding the sky coasters. I've seen you tweet about the Pinocchio.
Starting point is 01:22:22 I haven't watched Pinocchio yet. I plan to, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be. Oh, it's why. There's just dozens and dozens of bizarre facets to it. So, again, mixed. Would I recommend it? It's a boy made of wood. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 01:22:35 Of course there's going to be weird facets to it. It's a little out there for me. All right. It's pretty twisted. Yeah. But, Mike, let's exit through the gift shop. Is there anything you'd like to plug? I will plug the Sloppy Boys podcast and albums,
Starting point is 01:22:51 and I'll also plug this. Since the last time we've done a podcast together. Yes. The book Devil in the White City. It's an old book. Jason Suckert wrote this one. Yeah, I read it. Fantastic book. And I'm so late. It's an old book. Oh, Jason Sarkozy. Yeah, I read it. Fantastic book.
Starting point is 01:23:05 And I'm so late. It was like New York Times top seller like 20 years ago. Yes. But I read it since the last time we talked, and it's fantastic. It's about the Chicago World's Fair coming together in 1892, maybe? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:20 It was an early running thread on this. I think I just read it as we were starting the podcast, and I was just so jacked. Yeah, it was an early running thread on this. I think I just read it as we were starting the podcast, and I was just so jacked in all the early theme park connections and all the big historical figures who pass through. The big ride, the big thing that shows up, the way they reveal that. Oh, I've said too much. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:23:40 A thing. A John. A big John shows up. Big John. Big John. There's captains of industry. There's murder. It's all happening.
Starting point is 01:23:48 We should. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, always good to encourage us to read. Mike and I. Jason reads. This has been discussed. If you want a shorter read, though, I would like to plug an article I found mid-episode on Mel Magazine, which I like like in general which is about sports uh oh wow
Starting point is 01:24:06 wait this is a different whoa wait a minute this is also from mel or uh jordan uh put up a the difference between peas and beans and why it matters wow wow that's that's wild uh okay so there's an article look that up and then i have i have an article about sport mode and Crocs. This was written about, and they had a nuclear and mechanical engineer discuss why sport mode matters with Crocs and the benefits and what could happen to you if you don't properly activate sport mode. Wow. There's a lot of websites out there, huh? And there's infinite content void. Yes, there's an article about everything.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Think of anything and there's an article. And then further plugs from us. Thanks to Jordan Katz for producing this episode and showing that article about peas and beans being different. Thanks to Forever Dog. You can find us on all the socials at Podcast The Ride. Merch is available in our Tee Public Store. For three bonus episodes every month,
Starting point is 01:25:04 check out Podcast The Ride The Second Gate at patreon.com slash podcast the ride and i had to update my document since a year ago because we have a new tier club three where you get ad free episodes and a uh a bonus episode on top of that every month um you've got a patreon with sloppy boys yes as well um and you there's an innovation because we just started this new tier in the last year as an eight dollar tier but you have a crazy your top tier is is something else would you like to discuss we have a top tier it's the pay pig tier and uh you can pay a hundred dollars a month and you get the satisfaction of giving us a hundred dollars month. And that's all. That came from, I think that's a tier on like, only fans type thing,
Starting point is 01:25:49 where it's like, you get off on the idea of like, you're paying too much money. I'm going on losing everything, as Jason said. We put that up there just as a kind of a joke, and we have a few. We got a few pay pigs. We have encouraged people on the podcast, like, hey, if you're a pay pig, make sure you know that that's auto-renewed and maybe take your...
Starting point is 01:26:12 I don't want to do that forever. But we appreciate it. We love every... We call them patrons. We get kind of funny with that because we're a cocktail podcast. But we love all those people. It warms my heart that someone gives us, just likes the podcast and wants to help out. Wow, wow.
Starting point is 01:26:28 Pay pigs. A thing to get obsessed with, like a teacher. I mean, if you're a pay pig, you get all the stuff at the other levels, too. You get things. You don't just get mocked for your monthly money loss. It does sound like it's a sex thing, though. Well, that's because it comes from that world. I'm saying OnlyFans. What is it?
Starting point is 01:26:48 OnlyFans. It's a kink. Ruin me. Take all my money. Gun. Gun me. Jason really quick on the answer on this. Ruin me. It is more unnerving saying it out loud
Starting point is 01:27:04 because I feel like I've seen it You usually just type it I don't really just type it To politicians Captains of industry Bill Kitchen No never Sorry sorry
Starting point is 01:27:18 What did we step into Professor Hooters mind That could be a ride At Universal Horror Nights. Professor Hooters will be. House of Horrors. All right. Bye, everybody. Goodbye.
Starting point is 01:27:32 Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner Brett Boehm Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows
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