Podcast: The Ride - Splash Mountain with Anthony Gioe

Episode Date: March 9, 2018

Tuck your pants into your socks because Podcast: The Ride is about to leave you soaked: soaked with laughs and lightly researched audio entertainment! Anthony Gioe joins us to talk about Disneyland classic Splash Mountain. Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning, today's episode features the ominous rise of a powerful political regime, terrifying Vietnam-esque flashbacks involving Ernest P. Worrell, and four white guys nervously tiptoeing around a weird old racist movie. Anthony Gio takes the plunge on Splash Mountain. How do you do? It's Podcast to Ride, the amusement park podcast hosted by three men who've been collectively soaked in at least 100 gallons of dirty theme park water joining me as always jason sheridan hello and scott gerdner hey i got splashed the other day at universal very unpleasantly at the simpsons right it felt like

just a literal like slap in the face made out of water it was uh gross uh still reeling and i hope there's no boils on my cheek you can can see, and I haven't noticed. There's enough chlorine in that, I'm sure. It doesn't matter. It's dirty, but it's free of germs, I think. It's a specified kind of dirty they created. Yes, and today we're joined by a very special guest. You know him from Pop TV's Return of the Mac, and as a writer on People of Earth, it's Anthony Gio, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey, guys. I gotta say, before we even get started, I am so honored to be here. I'm a big fan of the podcast. I think it's great. Thank you. I have a short commute right now and it's the only one I make time for. Oh, thank you so much. So just like in...

Our typical episodes have been like two and a half hours lately, so you're getting through them in like five weeks since. Yeah, I've listened to the preview so far sure well hey eat shit this american life i'm down get down in one car at least uh well we're very happy to have you uh we're excited because this is a a great topic it's a weird topic we're talking splash mountain yeah uh so yeah there's a ton to talk about there um before though before we start i do want to get your sort of viewpoint on this and i

have a few ideas um it starts sort of with a sad story and uh the mayor of main street in orlando there is a position basically for cast members where someone is actually the mayor of disney world or disneyland right and my girlfriend lindsey and i found this out a couple years ago for cast members where someone is actually the mayor of Disney World or Disneyland. Right, right. And my girlfriend, Lindsay, and I found this out a couple years ago. We went to, I think it was like the 59th anniversary. And they have all the characters come out. It's a big celebration.

And then all of a sudden this man in a top hat comes out and they go, Introducing the mayor of Disneyland. And we were like, the mayor of Disneyland? Right. Like, we were very surprised to see that this is a position. Is he the guy that, I was there in 2012 at disney world is he the guy that welcomes casey jr and opens the park or is that a different position that might be right i actually don't know all of his duties as mayor yeah right but it seems like that would be a position but the sad news

is that uh the man who played the mayor who was the mayor, Christopher George Weaver, passed away in December. Of Disney World? Of Disney World, specifically, yeah. So I had not seen this gentleman. I saw a different gentleman, and I'm not sure his name, the Disneyland mayor. Yeah. But the thing that I thought, Lindsay and I thought,

when we saw the Disneyland mayor, was wouldn't it be perfect in a few years' time if our very own jason sheridan this is good yeah could become a disneyland mayor the disneyland mayor i mean i'm open to orlando as well but since he lives in los angeles i yeah i i can't think of someone better as long as he can stay awake he can have the job like hey look there's multiple apartments in the park so if i cannot stay awake take a little power nap have a cup of coffee i'm right back in it yeah you'd probably live up in walt's old apartment above the fire station i'd imagine summer in the dream suite which is now just the dining room so i guess i just put a pillow on a

long dining room table wouldn't be the first time you did that hey all right jason you would have this like astronomical uh uh ascension into this amazing position and then you would be embroiled in some sort you'd be like indicted for like stealing churros or something like something would happen where like you yeah yeah like they would just like come down to this like huge controversy i've slowly been making uh chefs oscars uh famous famous potatoes with peppers and onions have less and less peppers selling them off to another party and a massive pepper laundering money yeah laundering Laundering breakfast peppers. What would you, so Jason, what would you do?

I'm guessing there are like a list of like type of things that the mayor does do. It sounds like there's some ceremonial type duties. I think that's what I, who I saw. You probably, that was right. I mean, I think it's a position where he's in the park a lot. He opens. He probably gets opening, yeah, every morning, I think. Uh-huh.

And Casey Jr. comes. At least on big days, especially important days. So what would you recommend, Jason? Casey Jr.'s in Fantasyland. Disneyland Railroad. Oh, I'm thinking Disneyland. He probably checks Casey Jr. too. Oh, I'll be checking Casey Jr. too.

Well, that'll be Jason's thing because that's Jason's favorite train at Disney. No, stop it. You're exaggerating. He'll probably be hitting Casey Jr. each morning with a bottle of champagne. Oh, stop it. You're exaggerating. He'll probably be hitting like the Casey Jr. each morning with a bottle of champagne. Oh, yeah, that's true. The only alcohol

in the park outside Club 33 is when I just am constantly dedicating, rededicating stuff by my own volition. Hey, why isn't the mayor

throwing a bottle of champagne against a Mark Twain in the middle of the afternoon? Yeah. Hey, who's up for a dedication? You? Hey, kid,

you look like you could smash a bottle or two. You know, I have to say, I think my, well, first off, I would wear a sash at all times like Mayor Quimby. That's a given, right? Just one? At least one. Let's up the game. Sashes just on your arms, wrists, legs.

Sashes. Many sashes. A top hat with its own sash. You know, I think I want to be a mayor of the people. You know, I think I'd be inspired by the Jeremy Corbyn campaign for the many, not the few. Oh, okay. Wait a minute here. So I would like to make some.

The first socialist mayor of Disneyland. Yeah, the first Democratic Socialist of America mayor of Disneyland. You know, the millennial voters, I think, will get behind me. And I would like to make radical changes. One, the Mark Twain runs at night so everyone can enjoy a riverboat ride after Fantasmic. Two, the vehicles of Main Street never stop running. They stop when it gets as the crowds get more in the day. No more.

We've got to figure out a crowd solution so we can keep the omnibus going. End of day, 1130 at night. Everybody's leaving from fireworks and that thing's got to burst through. It's still going. They go during the fireworks. We need to find a new place to send off fireworks from so that we can keep attractions open during fireworks so we can experience them from a new viewpoint. These are the sorts of radical positions that will be in my platform.

I mean, I ambushed Jason with this, but he has all this stuff ready to go. This is how serious he is about this position. He just has all these viewpoints already. He'll be the first socialist mayor of Disneyland. I'll go one more. I've got more. Okay, the Gibson Girl ice cream parlor. these viewpoints already he'll be the first socialist mayor of disneyland i'll go one i've got more okay uh the gibson girl ice cream parlor either we need to up the quality of that ice

cream it's delicious ice cream but i think we could do better it's the happiest place on earth or if not more varieties of ed's dryers ice cream available for purchase you know that kind of i'll say i i you have my vote if we can get dry dryers, I feel like it takes me out of it sometimes. I almost want them just to lie to me and be like, this is made here. There are certain parts of the park where I see, like, oh, dryers. Like, you know, that's the frostiest one at Albertsons that, like, no one picks. You're outsourcing. Instead of using a Disneyland local, you

want more jobs on site. More jobs on site. More flavors in mouths. I will taste as many flavors as necessary. I will not rest until I've tasted all of the treats. Universal Studios Hollywood just upped their game.

They have all these crazy soft serve flavors now. Expensive milkshakes with sauce and cookies. Voodoo donuts. Voodoo donuts. We need to strike back. We need to strike back. Also, Ballast Point Brewery, you're on notice. You're opening soon, but you're very expensive at grocery stores.

I better not see that sort of thing in downtown Disney. And it better be flavors like pina colada beer and cotton candy beer. I want sweet treats. I'm okay with that. They're actually one of the brewers that do fruit beers reasonably well. All right. So we're off to a good start, but we're eyes on you,

Ballast Point. This is the most awake I've seen him. You're literally reclined on a couch next to a couch with a dog at my feet yeah this is like the carousel of progress this is like john and the carousel of progress but if i had a daybed well you're in heart you're in uh dry uncle orville mode is what you're in yeah shout out to recent animatronic of the month winner uncle orville yeah congrats we had lovely fan art of me casting the mark twain oh boy yeah you're riding high you're kicking back enjoying the fruits of your success yeah so what you want to do as mayor so when it

uh the scandal goes down jason we'll assume churros but uh you but it could be maybe the bell peppers. When special counsel Tony Baxter indicts you, what is that going to maybe do to your feelings towards your great land? I mean, would you be willing to talk to him, though? You'd be willing to sit down with him, have a conversation? You know, I would, well, first off, I'll default to my team of attorneys. And then I would probably...

Goofy and Clarabelle. Jason's in better shape than any mayor of Disneyland has been, says Dr. Cogsworth. The fittest mayor of all time. And then this just in, Jason Demene's spin lock is nothing but an aid that had nothing to do with his council. And then, yeah, I would much like in the Iran Contra, other people took the fall uh to shield reagan i would uh uh yes spin lock is going down right time keeper uh unfortunately though he's been enjoying his

retirement sorry time keeper right you're doing some time the disneyland marching band refused to perform at your inauguration ceremony, you got three doors down. Joy Villa is there plenty, though. She is there constantly in a different Main Street, USA, garish dress. You can call me Sheridan. Sheridan. Customized song for you. That's a lot to look forward to. Yeah, this is a very exciting idea. so we're just maybe we'll throw it to the

listeners like jason for maybe we do a hashtag is it jason for mayor or jason for disneyland jason what mr mayor what would you think you have a preference uh hmm yeah i mean i like i think jason for disneyland yes jason four with a number four yeah jason for disneyland okay it's probably pretty distinctive yeah yeah does the word mayor need to factor in mayor jason for i don't know why it's gotta be simple well yeah well i mean jason for disneyland mayor i guess Well, because it goes beyond just being mayor. It's Jason for all of Disneyland. Oh, yeah. I give to all.

Jason for mayor DLR, Disneyland resort. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, Jason for DLR. Jason, because you're Disneyland first. You're going to be the one to put Disneyland first. Just to be clear, whatever we land on, people are just tweeting this? That's it, and that's the

how it's going to have to happen. Is there another way? Like, if you went to Disneyland and put a letter into the box, if there's a box, at City Hall, maybe we need to go one step. Maybe there needs to be an in-person campaign. And this

doesn't have to be tomorrow. This doesn't have to be in five years i'm talking in 20 years oh yeah right when you look like a mayor for sure like you'll look like a mayor yeah 20 years movements don't happen overnight this is a long game you know so i would like a written agreement from disneyland that you will be installed as mayor or at least a fair election will happen. Yeah. Yeah. In a Conan J. Tonight Show-esque situation. In five years, when the current mayor steps down as number one mayor.

He's agreed to it. Yeah, yeah. And he'll do the handover, no problem. There'll be no funny business. Nine months, it'll still be Jason. Don't worry. Yeah. And I want same-day registration.

I want open elections, same-day party change. You know? Sure. nine months it'll still be jason don't worry yeah and i won i won same day registration i won open elections same day party change you know sure i also i another agenda i want to put on your radar i think you should try to get bring the olympics to disneyland disneyland olympics 20 uh 2036 that's an excellent and it's as we know from olympics coming any city, it's great for the economy. It's great for quality of life and long-term well-being. Breathing. It helps the air pollution. And Disneyland could use a new swimming arena.

Absolutely. If there's one thing Disneyland could use more of, it's money. And we've seen already with the Disneyland when they had the circus in the early 90s that they're able to put in different acts. There was a promotion. Do you believe like 91 or 92? Somewhere around there, right? Something like that. Where they had circus performers doing circus acts just in the middle of Disneyland. Did you go, Scott, during that time?

No, I missed that promotion. I think there was like there was a state fair theme for a little while, like one summer. And then I think there was also a more extreme circus, like with the motorcycles in the cage on Main Street. And then some of the older Imagineers were like, we can't do this. So you're telling me a real Nitro Circus. Yes, something along the Nitro Circus X game sort of line. You were reminding us via Twitter about the Disneyland Pogs promotion. Maybe this is your chance to start in another Pogs, too.

Oh, this is the time to bring back Pog Wild and Rollerblade Crazy. It's the spring break promotion at Disney World in the mid-90s. This is a perfect thing for you to campaign on. When Jason is mayor, we will go pog crazy again yes we have forgotten we have forgotten our past we have forgotten just how wild pogs are and how crazy rollerblades are so much so that scott disneyland expert thought it was pog crazy not pog wild he does We all don't remember our heritage. It's time to change that. And I think we can build up a lot of platforms as we go.

A new, new deal for Main Street. Great. How do we, can we all sort of pick a role within? I think you, as bringing this up for the first time, I think you're the Bannon of Steve Bannon. You're the I'm going to be just as smart as Steve Bannon. He's the smartest man and

I'm the smartest man too. Masterminded his way out of Breitbart just like he wanted. Just like the plan was the whole time. He's a Machiavellian genius. And I will be much the same. Five dimensional chess for Mike. It's a coup.

When Jason gets installed, people will be like, oh my god, it's a coup. These guys know what they're doing. Oh, wow. Yeah, so Mike's chief of staff slash body man. What else do we need? I mean, I can be a Kellyanne Conway. I can be out there sort of, you know, on the morning shows. I'll be on the hotel TVs reminding everyone what a great job you're doing.

Sure. Press guy, communications guy. Telling people to buy your clothing brands, to buy your varieties of Hawaiian polos. The shirt and Hawaiian shirt line. That's too expensive. No, outlet Tommy Bahama. Yeah, outlet Tommy Bahama. Tommy Bahama and the Nordstrom Rats.

Jason Bahama. They're beautiful shirts. Tommy's younger brother, Jason. Perfect quality for half the price. What is that voice? Is that my voice? It's sort of a Conway I'm trying to say. It's a little bit of a generic smarmy woman but

kind of conway i thought you were trying to do the coke boy the son of one of the coke boy do you know that guy yeah he makes his own clothing brothers you mean one of the coke brothers adult sons has like a very garish clothing line he what it's like hawaiian to say these kind of things but like i this is what I think. He looks insane. Like his, his, he looks like a fake person. Like he's like a cabbage patch.

He's a larger man. And the shirt, every shirt has like three or at least different patterns on it. So it'll be like a Hawaiian shirt, but then a houndstooth collar and the cuffs are a different color. It's what like rich people think fun a different color. It's what, like, rich people think fun attire is. It's not

tasteful like normal Hawaiian shirts. No. Or like my many-may-whirl sashes will be. Yeah. You'll have a palm tree or two on those. Are you kidding? It's so not tasteful it'll be the new taste. I don't know if it's too early to call for more fan art, but...

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. We're the podcast that demands it. I think that if we're asking for more fan art, I think it's Jason in a mayoral outfit, which I picture like a big top hat. I guess like Oswald Cobblepot from Batman Returns. Turkey leg at the podium in front of the train. Instead of, it's a press conference with many microphones,

but instead they're all turkey legs that you take with you and eat when conference is over. Maybe a chimichanga. I really legitimately like the chimichangas. That's a great snack uh anthony where do you want to factor into this campaign or if you had to say a trump equivalent being a trump equivalent because i'm just a guest for many master for many can't know but i think you're you were here for the you're here for the start like the rob lowe kind of liaison sort of like you are my voice on the Hill.

This is when we find out you think Rob Lowe is a part of the Trump administration. No, no, I mean it Westwick turns. You get caught having sex at the DNC. I was going to say, because I'm a guest, maybe it's just fitting I'd be like a Michael Flynn. I'm in and I'm out. Or a Scaramooch. Papadopoulos maybe?och popadopolis maybe a popadopolis if ursula had done a tenth of the things right if i'd done a tenth of the things ursula has done i'd

be in sea jail today so let's see uh man well since i'm here just from the inception i feel like oh yeah maybe i could take a role of um oh you know what i'd love to be i love to be when jason's got to take his frequent naps i want to be the stephen miller that steps out and just maybe maybe speaks on his behalf i think you're i think you're my the guy i send and when they when you walk into the california adventure city hall they're like oh shit like right when you show up at the Disneyland Hotel, business is going down. Stop what you're doing.

A fitted suit, a giant ass forehead, and I'm walking in and I'm coming in and all of my decisions are clearly catalyzed by grudges I held in high school. Oh, yeah. No more Walt's policy of Disney executives picking up their own trash

why should we do that when there's janitors to pick up the trash for it you're you're not picking up trash like walt jason you're uh no you're above the the peons so maybe if we bring it back to to the the hashtag uh i'd love for people to i would love to see as a fan the drawings that come in but i love maybe if we could check in on the hashtag at some point see like what do people want to see from jason yeah sure as an ideal candidate town hall well yeah transparency is important i mean they are the people i work for them yes you know now jason will you open up your wells fargo account for all of us to see uh all of your statements and whatnot yeah your credit cards your your bank account your checking and your savings uh i my domestic account sure

fortunately most of my money is overseas or in the caymans uh and i just can't get access to that disney's private k as part of the yes they're buried in it i keep all the money at castaway k private island it's a little bit buried at aulani but mostly it's in Castaway Cay. Yeah, there is some gold. There's some bullion buried in Aulani. Just in case things start to go south. This all ends with you living on a cruise in international waters. A Disney cruise where you can't be touched. Isn't it weird how the Disney magic docks once a week, but the Disney dream never comes into domestic waters?

I wonder what that's all about. Here, it's maritime law i can do what i want and you have two dinners at the buffet and you have experience piloting uh the mark twain so you can easily drive the disney dream yeah if something if there is a mutiny i can take control i can lock myself in the brig and take control of the ship uh all right well there's a lot of plans there's a hidden mickey in the hidden mickey of the cyanide capsule in my in my hollow down molar he's gone catatonic um well look if you're gonna if you are going to be successfully elected you need to start playing to all the districts and one of the areas that you will have jurisdiction over of course is critter country absolutely so let's turn that are you blue are you red well i don't know what color

if you want to represent a color uh what what color do you want to uh critter country to light up on your electoral map. Oh. Well, you're a socialist, so you're left-leaning. Yeah, so I guess red. See if you can get a small rose somewhere in those drawings, too, to represent our people power. Traditionally, though, Critter Country is gone red.

That shouldn't be a problem. So that's the American definition of red in politics. But to be honest, it's red with a rose and it's my hand shaking a bear paw hand to show comrade cooperation.

I don't want to get into it, but if you've actually, and I'm saying actually looked at a map of Critter Country, the gerrymandering of this place, it is insanity. The hungry bear is i mean like like sides of the hungry bear top floor and bottom floor separate uh separate parts of the district and star wars land is going to keep keep ruining it further because there's a whole now trail

that's where the money is they're going to start lobbying as soon as possible well sounds like i've got a lot of work on my hands cleaning up this mess hashtag jason ford lr oh it just rolls off the tongue michael great great we'll see how it goes but hey let's well let's let's start playing with your critter country constituents and uh talking about splash mountain a little bit. Here we go. Yeah. So, Gio, you picked Splash Mountain. What were you thinking? Well, I mean, I might be wrong.

I'd be happy to hear from you guys. But, like, Splash Mountain, to me, it feels like, and this could be, like, me having been tainted from my childhood experience, I feel it's, like like one of the biggest rides. I feel like it's like when you think of amusement parks, like Splash Mountain is one of the big ones. But, so not to weigh this down too much with a personal story, when I first went to Disney World in 1994, the Geo family packed up their Aerostar.

I think it did not have air conditioning uh and we made our way down uh to florida um i was so excited preemptively aware of and excited for uh splash mountain because i think they did a big TV special opening for it. I would imagine. There was so much coverage. There was so much coverage because they had spent so much money on it, I've come to learn. And this was when they had the ABC relationship. I feel like Disney, in our childhoods, did 12 specials a year. Yes.

Burning through special and every every sitcom family on on tgif went to yes without exception without exception pretty much somehow like dinosaurs but right but they had an excuse i mean they should have they should have some equivalents yeah and i remember uh so just getting very excited for it i remember the special was about uh like the water wasn't running and they had to figure find some sort of magic to get the water run and i fucking ate it up i loved it i was like i want to go to this magical place so we end up getting down there and um i had like voiced this to my fan, my, my, my dad. And he was like, all right, yeah, we'll head right to it. Uh, uh, and so we go to it and it was the type of vacation where we had one day in the magic kingdom. Um, and then, you know, maybe at the time, obviously Epcot was there,

animal kingdom was not there yet. So like it was established, like we have one day and we get to the ride and it's broken down and it's out of order and i took it hard like i was i was just like a little kid and i i just remember being like well like i think i was just in denial i like went through the states of it i was like well no it's not uh that sign's temporary you know like well i'll wait around and like clearly my sister who's a little older than me like she was still a kid she was like what the fuck are we doing? Let's move. Let's move.

Like I want to go see stuff as well. And I was like, oh no, oh no, this isn't happening. And so I didn't ride it. And I didn't go back to Disney World until 2012. Whoa. So six, what, six plus, yeah. So 18 years later, my family did our next Disney World trip because my sister has children now. And it was like a really big moment where I got in line and I took it in.

I will say for a lot of great Disney rides do this, uh the uh splash mountain feels like it's a long ride like it feels like an experience and like i i this i mean this doesn't like quite make sense but like it feels like you're getting your money's worth like you don't pay obviously but like you feel like you're really uh you're like settling into this weird little story and i i loved it and i love the smell of like the summer like and like the outdoor air hitting like that sweet chlorinated water that like may be the end of scott as we've heard from the yeah a couple days from now and so it it was oddly like obviously excited but oddly um uh it kind of snuckuck up on me emotionally when I rode a splash man Well interesting when I finally wrote it where then we're yet by the end where the was were you wet from tears? I you know I?

Yeah, honestly there's you come out of the place sucks, so no one can really Disneyland no, so I have only been to disneyland once and um there this was so this is like kind of the selfish part of the story i uh i think i had the opportunity to maybe ride it at disneyland i was like no it's gotta be because i knew there was a disney world trip on the hurst when you were little did you like because you said the ride was closed, in hindsight, was the ride for sure closed the whole day, or was it just because, like, the family wanted to keep moving and you never returned? Like, do you remember if there was a full confirmation of this is shut down today, or

perhaps it was shut down for half the day, you guys didn't return, and you could have maybe ridden it? That sounds totally possible. I think we had to keep moving. And I think I was the kind of kid, it sounds like my current company, a real wiener of a kid who wouldn't have spoken up even if he did feel like he wanted to maybe go and check on it. Like, no, my fate is sealed. This is the equivalent of it like watching don't know my fate is sealed uh this this is the equivalent of it like watching it like be demolished in slow motion uh well you're watching it get blown up

big wrecking ball right it's done it was really all hands on deck in terms of promoting splash mountain splash mountain was so ubiquitous if you grew up in the 90s to the point where i feel like splash mountain in the same way space mountain is in pop culture is almost used as a stand-in for the term theme parks or like like in a monologue joke they might just go like splash mountain like when they mean like theme park right right it's become like and it is a great it's like an e-ticket attraction it is like a big attraction that's like a premium right. That's like a premium, right? Yeah, that's like a high level. They really sealed that mountain thing.

I think it wasn't as much of a, you didn't talk about the Disneyland mountains. Because the third always seals, or that would be the third in Florida. Space Mountain, Big Thunder. But the fourth is in Disneyland with Matterhorn. Yeah, and Matterhorn. But yeah, there's been other mountains that have not come to fruition. They decided not to call Everest Everest Mountain.

It's not. It's not Star Wars Mountain. It's not Kylo Mountain. Kylo Mountain will be coming soon. Buzz and Woody's Toy Mountain. We're clamoring for it. Yeah. I mean, mountains are cool.

Mountains are universally recognized as cool. I like, like, the rides that feel very escapist. Like, I think you get that with Pirate. Like, the immersive, darker ride, I guess, ride. But, like, there's something also in that i would i mean this is probably easily accessible but like it is such a like there's where are you when you're up in that little fiberglass mountain like it is like a pretty winding interesting path is it behind it's because it's sort of i i know disneyland better than disney world but it's like

the disney world one kind of the train runs through the mountain. So some of the ride has to be, like it straddles both sides of the berm, quote unquote, the big hill surrounds Disneyland. Yeah, yeah. So you get a little bit of a peek of what's going on? Like on the other side? No, no, you don't.

On the train. Or no, the train you do. Oh, inside the train, you're saying. Yeah, the train you can see the last show, the scene, scene the riverboat you can see the animals on the riverboat yeah which is a great way to if the line's too long at splash mountain you can see a little that big end show scene and you got to ride the train what could be better right folks or if you don't go on flume attractions this is one way. Oh, here we go. Scott does not go on Splash Mountain.

Yeah, this is the third one of these. Have you been ever? I did one time. I had a little run in middle school, high school, where a friend or girl peer pressure would make me go on these rides. You're inspired by Bam Margera and his boys. You got that taste for... I'm Scott Garner, and this is the Splash Mountain.

Oh, dude, you're crazy. How are you even going to do that, man? I'm going to make sure I'm seated in the ride vehicle. I keep my arms and legs inside all the time. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Yeah, I don't know. I probably could. You know, looking at it, I was realizing it probably doesn't make sense that I don't do it because I have done the Knott's Berry Farm.

Yes. What is that called? Am I not coming up with that? It's another flume. Yeah. What is it called? It's not Cal up with that? It's another flume. Yeah. What is it called? It's not Calico Mountains. That's the mine cart, right? The Knott's Flume Ride.

But I think it's a similar amount of drop. I think the Splash Mountain might be steeper, more angled. And it's also visually much more impressive looking than the one at Knott's. So it looks taller and scarier. It looks so cool, yeah. And, like, when I was a kid, I felt like from looking at it, even though it's clearly not a 90-degree drop, it felt like that to me from looking at it. And I was like, oh, my God, you fall straight down.

But really, when you're on it, even though it's fast, like, you can. Well, and they sell the splash with, like, water jets, too. Yes, yes. Water up. I mean, when you're a kid, your brain isn't fused. Everything's just two dots and a mouth. You still have baby brain. This is now that I'm about to say it. It's going to sound like I'm trying to really insult Scott,

but it's not what I'm trying to do. The only ride that's of an e-ticket that my mom will go on still is Splash Mountain. She won't go on Indy because she says j on still is splash mountain oh she won't go on indie because she says jostles are too much she won't go on space mountain for the same reason but she's like i'll do splash mountain no problem well i think it's it's different it's a different force because i don't like i don't like the the flume dress and i don't like the i don't like the quick launches so i don't go on uh mummy i don't go on California Screamin' soon to be. Or the Incredicoaster.

Is it like a feeling thing? Yeah, those give me the most motion sickness. No, no, no. Just that kind of adrenaline drop in your heart or whatever. Yeah, I don't know.

It's a feeling in my heart I don't like I've proposed like according to evolution though you're right and we're wrong we shouldn't be seeking out like the feeling of a lion eating our ears in the night or whatever you shouldn't be doing the thing everybody finds fun that millions of people line up every day to do no I'm right I know I'm wrong I I also probably could do it. I propose to you at the wedding, if you recall this, that perhaps we do a series. Maybe we check in every week building up to your return to Splash Mountain. Yeah.

Yeah. We check in. How are you feeling about it? And then we bring a recorder into the park. Right. Get a before maybe during depending on if we have water resistance mike's uh wrestling you know interest showing building up a storyline weeks in advance you gotta pay off jason you gotta build an angle

you gotta build an angle and then you pay it off pay-per-view pay that's right and we'll put it behind we'll put the episode where scott on Splash Mountain behind a paywall. $10. I'll make it worth your while. So you're saying that you want me to, we would do maybe like a half hour special in which we find out what it's like for me to brave Splash Mountain. And I try to become, I'll use the proper term, Splashtronaut. That's what you're proposing. I think that's a great idea. Because this, what I am describing,

has precedent in a very vivid memory from my childhood, 1989's Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain, a half-hour Disney Channel special. Have you guys all seen it? You've seen it. I have pieces of it. I've not watched the whole thing. I vaguely remember it. And this could be something like that like also part of my memory is like oh

i looked i looked it up like in college or something but like yeah it was it was just a commercial right yeah a big half hour commercial that's like definitely more odd and off brand than i've seen uh very many Disney specials if I haven't established that by this point and it's like it's a lot more it's very odd it's focused on the one ride a lot of it is filmed by

Jim Varney and his team because if you know that he like he like self produced all of that stuff every earnest thing you've ever seen whether it was for an ad for cerritos auto square or the wraparounds for his show hey vern it's earnest he was producing that in i'm probably getting the state wrong but you know tennessee or wherever he lived so so a lot so it doesn't most of the specials are not filmed at disneyland it's him

like prepping yes him uh so he's at it's they refer to verne's daredevil institute which i guess is where i have to go in order to make it's actually perfect to do my sequel oh yeah sky ghost splash map because not only did the this not only did the ride freak me out and not only did uh uh the the special probably contribute to me being afraid of the ride uh i was afraid of the special itself i watched this when i was i probably probably three four years old i'm not sure exactly but it in my memory ernest's trip down the drop was like a terrifying lynchian nightmare like i wish i could show you like distorted what i had in my baby brain because it's you know it all builds up to him doing it and he's kind of like a piece of cake and he puts his feet up on the log and he

says wish i brought a book which i think is actually funny and then uh and then he finally goes and there's a news there's news reporters covering all of this okay and he said and the news reporter says uh squeamish viewers may want to turn away at this point and then he goes down the drop and he's super terrified does a big old earnest scream and i just wish i could like transplant what's in my brain to you guys because in my mind the drop sequence itself was like 10 minutes long and just like the most fright like mother-esque uh existential nightmare experience and i remember that there were strobe effects and i remember it like electrified him it like affected his hair and made his hair shoot up yeah and if you watch this and

we should post the link and we're posted the clip to our instagram or whatever but if you find what i finally as an adult saw this again, it's 10 seconds long. He goes like, ah, his hair shoots up and that is it. But my baby brain, like just like morphed it into terrifying Guillermo del Toro nightmares for

many, many years. I just, I, you guys have to see how, especially the hair thing. It's literally like strobing on and off he has a wig in one and not a wig in the other and but to me like what's the most terrifying horror film of

all time earnest goes to special um so that's in there you're saying that's in your brain still really yeah i think it impacts me yeah yeah this has become my therapy session. Yeah, yeah. When I stare up at that ride, I see Ernest and his strobe nightmare. And I do also remember the first time I went to Disneyland or any theme park, I think I was like three or four years old. And they were still building Splash Mountain. They were still running tests. And it wasn't open yet. And so at that age, I am the smallest that i've ever been at disneyland i am very small and this building is very tall and i remember staring out just like

the shadowy building at night scaring the shit out of me it seemed to just giant towered above me uh uh so maybe maybe i have maybe there's more mental tied up in here than i than i realized it sounds like two stories of trauma tied into Splash Mountain. Yeah, yeah. And now here's the rest. I take up another hour. By the way, the Knott's Ride is the Timber Mountain Log Ride. Timber Mountain Log Ride, which opened first, I believe, right?

Opened well before Splash Mountain. Okay, okay. And I think when they were like considering some sort of water ride like some imagineers like poo-pooed a log flume like log flumes i think were getting popular but but they seem like oh how will we tell a story right how would we get animatronics how we get characters in there it seems too simplistic for disneyland although but timber mountain itself if you haven't been on that ride and knots it is it is full of animatronics and was recently refurbished and it sort of like uh sets the precedent for splash mountain for sure and

it's a it's similarly structured where there's many drops through it all building up to the uh the final climax and the things get like spooky on the way up to the top. Hell yeah. This is the minutia we tune in for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Timber Mountain, that was a big influence. The early blues records influencing rock and roll. What are the animatronics at Knott's?

I've never been. Is it Snoopy based? No, it's a bunch of like gruff construction workers it's all like miners and like you know like you know people getting coal dust in their lungs right uh it's a lot of like just like working people and like i mean the calico mine rides that's the one that has a ton of people just working in the coal shit right yeah i guess that's where you get coal lung here the timber bound is where you get sawdust yeah these are all like lumberjack kind of guys that are chopping down trees and

sawing things miserably they are so it's just a bunch of gruff grizzled assholes they're less in the disney style of like kind of like pirates of the caribbean where they're big cartoonish they're more like people so when we went on these rides it very much feels like you're just like looking at these people with incredibly hard lives right especially the mine ride it's like you're going through and there's like 15 people like and it's not a fun seven dwarfs style like pickaxe and hand hitting the rocks it's just like men who have no other option one of them slips you a note that says please we're real get us out of here my My campaign will not forget the hardworking animatronics at all the parks.

They'll all have benefits. I'll settle for you as mayor of knots. No longer. Mayor of knots might be more attainable. Good first step. Good thing on the resume. We'll call you mayor of podcast ride. That's done. So you have mayoral experience

already. There we go. Here's your inauguration ceremony. i'll bring my glass of water on your leg it's wet and covered with glass wonderful all right we've inaugurated you and uh yeah you're you're the experienced mayor already don't stop thinking about tomorrow Tomorrow. So we have to touch on the weird topic, which is where this bride comes from. The 1946 movie Song of the South. Yeah. So we'll touch on it as four white dudes can. It's very strange.

First of all, I'll say this. It's very strange that in the 80s they decided to build this thing. There were plenty of other movies. There were plenty of other things they could have used to make a giant cool flume ride. Because there's nothing about when you're inside. I'll be honest. The characters I don't really care too much about. They're like the rabbit.

Br'er Rabbit. They're kind of ill-defined. Kind of ill-defined. I couldn't tell you qualities. Maybe that rabbit is mischievous. Yeah, he's a little mischievous. He's like a bear. He's kind of like a country. Kind of ill-defined. I couldn't tell you qualities. Maybe that rabbit is mischievous. Yeah, he's a little mischievous. He's like a bear is dumb. He's kind of like a country bug's bunny, I guess.

A abrasive voice. Yeah. He's a trickster. It's the whole thing that he's like, please don't throw me into the briar patch, but he lives in the briar patch. Yeah, he wants to be in the briar patch. Okay, okay. So he's a trickster.

And the laughing place, the topic of the laughing place comes up this was interesting to learn in my research that the uh laughing place goes back to like african folklore in africa right and to like to uh uh it relates in some parts to a nancy the trickster the spider trickster folklore folklore character. Oh, interesting. Let's see. Following Br'er Rabbit's capture, the hero leads his capture as Wiley Br'er Fox and dimwit of Br'er Br'er to his laughing place. Interesting enough for me.

This can be taken over. It glays over. For my money, my laughing place is the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, California. Mike, the beautiful UCB Theater. Yeah, so similar trickster tales I feel like exist in a lot of cultures throughout the world. So I have never seen the movie.

It's not been distributed any time lately by Disney because it's widely regarded as being racist. It's a racist movie. But they have used it in the recent past. They would show the animated segments on the Disney channel in the 90s. They would take out... So there's a character, Uncle Remus.

He is basically excised from the sequences you're talking about. They just use the cartoon characters that end up appearing on the ride. Wait, but how do you... Because when we were kids, Disney sing-along songs are still using Zippity-Doo-Dah. And using the footage of the

live-action kids and Uncle Remus. Uncle Remus is in the Disney sing-along songs. Because I remember seeing those in preschool and whatnot. Because that particular Zippity-Doo-Dah, the bluebird is cartoon. Right. Yes. So that's from the movie. That's from the movie.

And even in the parade we watched when we did the braids episode they refer to the song of the south float uh uh that bear rabbit bear fox are on so like there's certainly believe where this is we're not doing like an incredibly good detailed look at like what was wrong with this no we don't know we're not qualified but like we're just talking about how goddamn weird it is because there are so many properties they did this because so like this is a tony baxter ride it's again a great ride he's the guy well he's the man and he's talked about this before like they were not sure if culturally people would like it so they re-released the movie in the 80s to see if there would be a big uproar about it test the water yeah and it was no one complained or there was no i I'm sure, you know. It did fairly well in 1986.

Something that today is referred to, like, I feel like now it's spoken of as, like, a sort of urban legend. Like, did you know Disney made this movie that people feel is racially weird or whatever? But it was in theaters in 1986. Right. Not too long ago. Right. And it's award winning. It won the Oscar for best song for Zippity-Doo-Dah. And the actor who played Uncle Remus, James Baskett, won an honorary Academy Award for playing Uncle Remus.

And reading about this movie, there's so many instances of this where it seems like one step forward, two steps back. Because the U.S. government after World two was doing like an anti-racism initiative and part of it was like trying to tie in this movie and like yeah and this guy eventually he did get this honorary academy award the first african-american man to win an oscar however the movie premiered in atlanta and he was not allowed to attend the premiere due to segregation oh jesus so there's all of this crazy stuff i mean people thought you know some writers at the time were like this is good these folklore these oral tradition these american folklore stories of bear rabbit bear fox and uncle remus uh could bring people together but then other people were very uh certain that it's like no this is

offensive this is a stereotype that's playing this old uncle stereotype it's just it's just so interesting because like what was it about the character cartoon characters that they were like we got to get this like why wasn't it just a rescuers down like not down under that was 90s but like rescuers move like i've had the same like Rescuers Mountain or when did the great mouse detective come out? Well, no, but even the newer mine cart Dorb's Ride, it feels like they could have themed that as a Splash Mountain, right? Oh, yeah. You could have done another. Yeah, you could do one of the old ones.

They were trying to get people into Critter Country, right? Like people weren't going back to Critter Country. It had to be related to Bear Country. It was Bear Country. And then when Splash Mountain opened, it became Critter Country, right? Like, people weren't going back to Critter Country. It had to be related to Bear Country. It was Bear Country, and then when Splash Mountain opened, it became Critter Country. So they were trying to populate that section, and it must have been, I think, Tony Baxter's about worlds, he's a world

builder. I think he wanted that, like, that old South vibe. The holler. But ironically, that is the vibe. I think, from what I could tell, didn't look into it too hard but it seems like a big thing that people are upset about or ever were upset about with Song of the South is that it portrayed this rosy

post-Reconstruction South that is not an accurate depiction of we're not singing bluebirds on people's shoulders if you believe it. But I also understand I don't know, I guess um that that sort of folksy uh um you know homespun kind of vibe uh that does feel with the riverboat and everything and it's related to the rivers of america you could see

how it ties into a vibe that was already in disneyland i mean it's because of course i love the ride itself so of course i get that that's all a very good idea it's just interesting surrounding all with all the controversy it's interesting that they even though they released it they were just like they didn't even try to do it which is it's just kind of wild i wouldn't be interested why didn't they do a ride out of one of those cartoons where donald fights hitler well that i can get behind yeah that would be fun right yeah yeah watch him like uh launch missiles into hitler's head so it still seems split of whether people think they should release it on home video or not i mean last year whoopi goldberg at d23 said like

yeah release it put it out there and start a conversation about it but i mean american pop culture american media like nuance is not our strong suit in america uh so i don't know it seems like there is people who think like yeah release it but just to academic institutions but then anyone could buy it then like students for students to study it i think that was roger ebert's thing like yeah let film students study it also in terms of its weight as a film i didn't know it was the first movie uh shot on color by the cinematographer greg tolan who shot citizen kane yeah so like a major work and a piece of in the giant of work. A very talented guy. Yeah, so, I mean, most people that go in, ride the ride, they have no

idea really what it is, what it's connected to. It's just like some cartoons and it's fine. Right, right. Well, and that's the question. Is there anything, could you construe anything in the ride itself as being weird or problematic? And I don't think so. Not that I can tell. We just watched a ride through or problematic and I don't think so not that I can tell

we just watched a ride through on YouTube I wasn't maybe the one thing is they feature the bear's big ass a few too many times I mean they've definitely softened some of the voice like I went and found the that's the other thing about this there's a

large black market for bootleg Song of the South dvds and you can find multiple clips of it you can probably piece the whole movie together through youtube but like some of the voices they're rough the voices in the original movie have not aged well and they've definitely softened them in the ride listen okay i don't want to start talking uh what we would do with the ride we We've still got to go through it. We have to go through the ride still. But yeah, that's definitely on the docket, Mr. Mayor.

Yeah, sorry. So we'll start going through the ride. We'll go through it as if we didn't know anything about this other movie that existed. It's just a thing that sits in a closet. Tony Baxter on a recent season pass podcast podcast they've done a long running interview series with him brought up that this ride is unique and that technically it is an IP ride. It's based on

something that already exists but a lot of people don't know about the ride. Some people think it's just an original thing. They don't know the context. And of course many of the animatronic characters in this are not from song of the south because uh uh it's this isn't too deep cut of theme park nerd knowledge not for this

uh but uh he doesn't know they were this was another big thing tony baxter was trying to solve two problems one the bear country wasn't getting a lot of population or people weren't heading back to that corner of the park. Also, America Sings was closing, which was in the Circle Vision, not Circle Vision, the Carousel Theater in Tomorrowland. They were going to evict that show and put in something else.

Actually, George Lucas, they were talking about some ideas with. But that was going to do away with hundreds of audio-animatronic characters. So they repurposed... Yes, so all of the characters are moved over from America Sings. They saved a ton of money.

Like, all the things on the riverboat at the end, like, those are all just different. At a certain point, like, some of those characters were, like, voiced by Burl Ives and, like, sung, like, rockabilly songs. Yeah, it's all... America Sings is kind of... Yeah, it's like a little...

I love it. have you watched it no i actually i never have actually i know they sing like that sounds very much like showbiz pizza to the max yes it is absolutely yeah yeah and they would they would do more like uh i guess more modern songs as well but so it'd be like turn of the century songs but then they would do a little rock and roll like from so if you wanted to see... The stork would say, let's crank it up a notch. Play Johnny B. Goode. Yeah, the Marty McFly solo played by a stork and a cop. With rowdy subject matter, like grabbing your girl and sharing a milkshake.

That was all going off the Bicentennial fever, right? Like America Sings was around the time of... I think it did open in 76. Yeah, when the Bicentennial fever, right? Like America Sings was around the time. I think it did open in 76. Yeah, when the bicentennial happened. America had bicentennial fever. Which is a thing Jason still contracts once a year.

Yeah, I take a Z-Pak and then I knock it right out. The first time I met you, you asked me if I got my bicentennial vaccine and I didn't know. This is a little side note. From seeing what has happened to the old America Sings and the old Carousel of Progress, they may as well have just kept America Sings in there. They've done nothing with that space since.

The worst use of a major space in Disneyland. So what's there right now? I can't really picture. Right now it's Star Wars Launch Bay. Star Wars Launch Bay. And then upstairs it's like some couches where you can pay $50 to sit with dad and mom so they can chill out for a while. And special cookies. It was Innoventions.

It was Innoventions. It was the House of the Future. And it would like circle around. And it was. It's so depressing that area. I don't even read good rumors about stuff that might happen to that building. There's nothing. And also when I went there as a kid, I think the first time I went,

America Sings had just closed. Yeah, that's right, because they were building Splash Mountain. And then it was not... So I went for the first time in 88. 98, finally, Intervention's open. For a decade, that space is nothing. And it's a sign.

Mickey's holding a sign that says, we're imagining up a grand new experience it's been dog ever since they closed america my whole dog shit my whole life oh well that's that was briefly where it was interventions you go to the hp house of the future but you could meet your old friend awesomo oh awesomo there oh i love awesomo. Asimo is now on Autopia, though. Yeah, he's standing dead still on Autopia. Yeah, he doesn't move at all. The one thing he was built in.

The one thing he was supposed to do. Asimo, I remember when Asimo was like first, I don't know how else to phrase this, on the scene. But he, Honda was, this is when i was in college honda was bringing him to different universities to kind of put on some sort of show for like the engine mostly for i guess for engineering touring days kind of touring awesome around and so i was like you know i was coming out of a class and i saw the sign for it i was like yeah i want to see what this little guy can do so i i went in and i sat down and it was just like in a like a big auditorium and they uh they showed this video like a representative from hana came out and said you know thanks so much we're very proud this is you

know so many hours really years of work and they show like kind of that classic video that i'm sure you guys have seen where it's kind of creepy where it's so hard to teach a robot to walk like like it's like this kind of like weird terminator skeletal thing and they're fucking it just looks like sad and they're tipping over a lot so they show this evolution of asimo and then it leads up to like the asimo you know so if you don't know asimo is this kind of like of robot that Honda built and it kind of looks like a little spaceman. So anyway,

it culminates with what he can do and he's helping old people. He's part of the family. He has so much utility in the video they show. And then the video stops and the rep goes, who wants to meet Asimoamo and so they put your hands

together for asamo asamo proceeds to come out wave to the crowd and without missing a beat the rep thing goes who wants to see asamo dance and they ended up playing something like ub4040 or something like that, like red wine. And this feat of engineering danced a red, red wine. Wow. That was what it was all building to? It was all building to. And then they kind of had him kick a little ball at one point.

But it was so, so fucking to like them for them not to see the contrast and like this will change the world we want to see it dance so you can help old people with their medicine and work yes so they were essentially doing 10 minute versions of that in interventions for for years and I think there was also a test to Segway. There was a Disney Infinity test out stations when that was a thing. It is a building of junk.

Junk warehouse. I mean, Tomorrowland needs a multi-million dollar face. This sounds like a great platform idea. Yes. Well, that's, yeah. The Tomorrowland is the thing that needs the most care. Would you say Tomorrowland is a disaster? An utter and total disaster? I don't want to go that far because I like to lean more towards imagining a better world,

a better tomorrow, and a better Tomorrowland. You're not about Disneylandian carnage. You're about hope for the future that's good that could have been a line from the clooney movie tomorrowland like where it's just so clunky yeah that's by the way we've talked about this before that failure of that movie is i'm mad at it because we would have gotten a new tomorrowland if that was a big hit yeah the sequel would have come out already they would have been like we got to put $500 million into Tomorrowland. And now it's not going to happen for another decade.

Speaking of Tomorrowland and like Asimo type robots, when I was there, so I went to Disney World in May 2017. There's a robot, like an Ican robot who is like half human, half robot. Yeah. Who speaks with the lid. He like drives himself around. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. And I sent you guys the video, I think when I was there, but when we were there, I met, I can, you were saying it's supposed to be like a predecessor to star Wars droids. Is that right?

Well, they're, yeah, they're testing out certain things for star Wars. And I, maybe I forget if it's ICANN specifically, but I think they're for sure testing out different autonomous robots and then I think people in robots.

You had told me, Mike had told me about ICANN, and when I saw him, I got... What are you talking about? This is ICANN, right? Yeah, that's ICANN. I thought there was... Because there's somebody called Push. Yeah, Push was a robot garbage can. Yeah, there's a man I thought there was there's somebody called push yeah robot garbage he was retired wait no more push but I can I can is this I can is more of a man he's not the garbage oh I got you saying can really confused me I don't know why because

there used to be a trash can that wandered around and I believe may have run for mayor of tomorrow land oh shit a predecessor of uh interesting enemy to destroy well like the uh democratic party i'll have a lot of highly paid consultants that you're not quite sure what they do uh so i would hire a push on to uh pop in one day a week and uh spout off some uh aphorisms about push is gonna sink your campaign oh pushes pushes my robbie mook which is why john podesta there's so many of these people to list yeah there's so many yeah 33 000 push emails we've never seen philippe rains he's by philippe rains the guy who infamously got so into playing the donald

trump stand-in in the clinton campaign oh boy the hall of failed dnc consultants wow one of these is literally a trash can push yeah push push actually advised on the clinton campaign uh i can though so this is kind of like my i'm not sure but in disney world it's frontierland that space or splash mountain yes that is right there is they did not make a separate critter i really love frontierland i think it's like it's an exciting uh area of rides uh in disney world and it's well and yeah with it having splash mountain as part of it kind of flushes out the area because really the only ride here is uh big thunder uh but yes it's a more fleshed out land there um and they and and i believe i i read that they had to they the score

is different in disney world and they made it sort of more frontiersy it's kind of a more country fried music score i think it's tweaked a little we were talking about this a little before there's little differences between uh orlando and anaheim in terms of this ride show scene slightly slight differences yeah the score is slightly different orlando and tokyo i believe are like almost identical replicas of each other scott you pointed out the the vultures you mentioned. Oh, yeah. From watching the Disneyland and Disney World ride-throughs,

the Disney World vultures have top hats. Right. Big difference. Jason Mayer-esque top hats. And I think the Disneyland ones are lacking. There's something I would ask of you is to let's get some, let's dress up those Disneyland vultures.

Get them some hats. Worth with. There's a Disney World that's two-seater cars and Disneyland, it's single seats. So there's more capacity in Disney World as well. That's another change. Yeah. That's a very interesting change. A lot of people are riveted right now.

Has anyone died at either of them? I don't think so. Which one's got the most deaths? But they did install lap bars. They didn't used to have lap bars, I don't think. There's no lap bars in Disneyland. Oh, at Disney World, I think they may have put them in in Florida. Interesting, because in Tokyo, there's no seats at all.

You're just standing. Dare devils there. We'll go through the ride in one there. There was a, so, we'll go through the ride in one second. I just, I remembered a very amusing anecdote. They have a single rider line. So when you're a childless man in his 30s with his childless girlfriend also in her 30s, you guys,

we don't need to sit together in the same room. So we go to the single rider line. And the single rider line at Disneyland is just the exit. you just walk through the exit so what happens is they'll put you in a log flume with a family because the family maybe it's just dad and the two sons

and then their fourth in the party is you, a 30 something man probably the same age as this dad but he looks 15 years older and he's not wearing a Mickey shirt he's a little angry to be there so I'm in the back of the years older and he's not wearing a mickey shirt he's like he's a little angry to be there so i'm in the back of the flume and there's two kids and the two kids are i've described this before they are looking at me they're trying to figure out how old i am uh

they're looking like this okay this guy dresses like me but he looks older than me so that but you can tell they're like they want to talk. So one of the kids is just like, hey, he points to his younger brother. He's like, he won't go on Tower of Terror. Telling you? He tells me this. And I go, oh, you got to go on Tower of Terror. And he's like, I'm too scared.

I'm like, no, come on, it's good. And then we're harassing this kid the whole time, me and this other older brother. And then we get off the flume ride and the kids are like waiting for me like they're running to get their dad but they stop and they're like they like kid puts up his hands like hey are you coming over here and i was like oh i gotta wait for my girlfriend he's like oh okay and like you you could tell the kid was like oh yeah that old

man is not part of our party right disappointed they weren't getting a second dad that day yeah i thought maybe you were going to be top dad. Look, I could have been top dad. You could have. I certainly could have come in there and I would have wowed these kids with what I mean to them. Oh, they would have loved it. And how many videos. Meanwhile, dad is being a real pain in the ass because he's got a real job.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would have been a much better father to those two kids than he is. Mike's livid. I'm livid. I can tell.

On a single ride. I thought where that was going is I did the same thing. Can I? I got a little tip. I don't know if people ever do it. Please. We want tips, yeah. But it's kind of, it might be like frowned upon, but I'll say i took advantage of this uh so my when you go and you do the like

you have a fast pass like you can also if you have a small child do something called a ride share have you guys heard of this child swap are you talking about child swap yeah that yeah yeah that's what it is i don't know why i called a register but that's what i was calling it that is what uber is yeah a child swap so we were I was child swapping, and I didn't mind as Uncle Anthony to just like. And you had a child with you. Yes. Yeah, yeah. But I would just literally hold my niece up.

You weren't the child in like a baby bonnet pretending to be a child. Right. A little Lord Fauntleroy licking a giant lollipop. It helps with the illusion. Okay. So it's not much of a tip, but I thought it really, it made me like very excited.

Like, oh, I'm really conning this thing. And then I would take the extra one and I would hop into like the fast pass lane. But when I ride, when you ride that way, you also are the one stranger with the family and their photos. Yes, that's my point.

Yeah, so yeah, I should have said that, too. Like, that's, it's odd because. It's odd. So I have photos of just most of the ride photos I have from, like, because my sister gives, like, the Magic Band photo pass. Oh, yeah. And I'm downloading them, and there's hardly any pictures of me with my own family.

I'm just with random families. Some alternate family. Right. Because that has to happen. For people like us who go a lot, and we do single rider, there's probably families that that's their once every couple year trip to Disneyland. Yes. They buy the photo.

Yeah. And on their mantle forever is like mom, dad, Jimmy, Sally, and Michael Carlson, 33-year-old man sitting in the back. like bored because he's been on this 150 times i wonder this is probably statistically unlikely but listeners you know what you can google me mike and scott uh uh and even anthony uh there's pictures of us out there uh where are out there on the internet. Listeners might have family photos with us in the screen. Oh, I see.

Lots of this lining up. Lots of this lining up. Jason, the audience isn't that big yet. I mean, look. It's like, you know, there's a lot of collateral beauty in the world. Like the movie title. There's a lot. Butterfly effect. You never never know serendipity i like the

idea that we'll get like 50 people a picture of you in the back of the ride vehicle jack nicholson shining style oh that was the day i just fell asleep and they left me in the log for a while so i just i'm in a ton of family photos speaking of which which, I was watching the ride through. We were kind of checking it out. And there's a little frog at the beginning of it who has a fishing line. He's sleeping. He's sleepy. And he's got a hat over his head.

And the fishing line's tied to his toe. And I think if Mayor doesn't pan out, Jason, you can hop right in that frog. I mean, I get out with that frog. Hop right into that frog i'd be hanging out with that hop right into that well i is that the same frog because there is brayer frog he talks at some point it might be him he plays the bass at the end i think yeah i think so uh and there is also a porcupine playing a turtle like it's drums i really love that which is really cute um but brayer frog is voiced by james avery the late actor uh who was also Uncle Phil on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The voice actors on this are very interesting. Nick Stewart, Br'er Bear, he's the voice in the original movie End the Ride.

He was the only actor still alive at the time. And he was the only one who did both. And then Br'er Rabbit in the movie brer rabbit um uh uh in the movie i forget who did it in the movie apparently um uh uh the actor who played uncle remus in the movie does the voice of brer rabbit in one sequence uh in the ride it is a guy named jess harnell who is also a warner and animaniacs, and Crash Bandicoot. Two extreme characters. Well, I guess Crash is more extreme than Wacko.

And then Br'er Fox is a guy named J.D. Hall, who is the voice of Blade on Spider-Man, the animated series. Wow. And Garganus in the Age of Mythology. I don't know what that is. Who's the other Animaniac? Wait, you said Yakko, or was it Wacko? Wacko was Jess Parnell. Wacko.

The voice of Yakko, Rob Paulson, plays a big part in David Copperfield's current show at the MGM Grand. And I don't want to say what. I don't want to give anything away. He is awesome. Rob Paulson is really fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing voice. But I really, ooh. I cannot even spoil it.

Everyone listening needs to get their asses to Vegas and see what Rob Paulson is up to. It's an out-of-this-world experience. Do you have more facts, Jason? No. Oh, just that former Animatronic of the Month contestant, man-sized dog in a spinning rowboat, is in this ride. I forget where to describe. He's after one of the little drops.

Hard to spot. Hard to spot, but he's really spinning in that rowboat, and because it's mostly a darkness, it is unsettling. In a domesticated animal amongst wild animals. Domesticated, but also man-sized like very large domesticate those yeah i'd like to say that many of the animatronics the animatronics carted over from america sings uh were designed by mark davis uh one of the great uh old the original nine old men one of walt's like trusted early crew people, who also designed the first animatronic of the month,

Striped Shirt Pirate, among many of the Pirates of the Caribbean characters. And I'm not totally sure, but possibly the second one, Uncle Orville, because I think he did a lot of Carousel of Progress as well. Probably that. I think Mark Davis was one of the guys that Walt was like, you're a great animator and guess what now you're building robots like yeah he really carted people over who did like yeah not had no experience in this area which who did no one i had i had that thought as you were saying

that like one of the first like where do you fucking begin like where do you yeah now there's just a mass here but then my My job Monday was drawing a mouse, and my job Tuesday is building a robot pirate. Right, right. Well, I guess robotics people are different. I mean, when I say he designed, he did the concept art for it. He didn't go and learn robotics.

That makes way more sense. A lot of cross-disciplinary stuff in the first few generations. It's a simple time. It's a simple time. It's a simple time. Jason's going to bring us back to it. A bunch of, as we say usually, like a bunch of short-sleeved dress shirt, older men who like smoked a ton and drank

and didn't have any sort of nostalgic love for Disney because it didn't exist, just did all of this amazing stuff. Yes. They look like all of the regular people in Hidden Figures. They're the people who the Hidden Figures women had to break in to be included with. Yeah. They didn't treat women very well. Mary Blair and Alice Davis there, too.

Alice Davis, wife of Mark Davis, a longtime Imagineer as well. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Which I think is part of what's a great thing about all these characters in splash man is they like uh they have like a classic disney feel because they were made in the 70s by this like classic uh imagineer yeah i love i do so earlier i was like oh the characters like when we were talking about why this ip and whatnot i do love like the look of it uh but like the there is something something a little abrasive about Br'er Rabbit. I don't want to get into the changes.

I don't want to get into the changes I make. But there is a little bit of... The voice work feels like it could use a little update. And they've softened it. Like I said, they've softened it since the movie. Less abrasive than the actual film. Yeah, yeah. So there's an idea.

Get your Rob Paulsons in the mix. Maurice LaMarche's. Larry the Cable Guy. The current Disney voice actor, Larry the Cable Guy. Maybe Mater is just one of the characters maybe they just swap yeah i'm in here too yeah i'll ride his ass down the hill like put me in mater oh you want the car to be made man we're plussing it up already oh i like that one uh that is a great idea at least a seasonal mater changeover or like hey i'm an easter egg uh my thing with was spongebob is one

of my favorite rides um it says all the things you were saying like it's a nice long ride you get a lot of show you get a lot of robots which is all we all ever talk about it's like you get so many of that it's got a nice fun thrill in it it's got a couple minor thrills to it uh i don't go on it as much because sometimes we're there we decide to go down at night and i don't like being soaking wet at 9 p.m yes it is a a certain rides like log flume rides you have to time and like there's a there there is a chance like maybe you'll be at the park and like you wanted to ride it but that just the weather's not cooperating because you'll be you'll be really uh chilly and you wanted to ride it, but the weather's not cooperating. Because you'll be really chilly after that ride. Here's a tip.

If you don't want to get that wet, do single rider and ride as the creep with another family. Because that last seat is the least wet seat. I rode with my buddy Jeff in September, and we got a fast pass. And we were in the first two, and we were drenched. It was crazy. I mean, it wasn't as bad as a Universal Dudley Do-Right ride, which just literally, they should have another change of clothes for you after that ride. But this one, Splash Mountain definitely soaked my socks and shoe and ruins you for an hour and a half. Well, if it's not that

crowded they don't load the boats to capacity and then like they load it so that the weight is kind of distributed so then the back seat is not necessarily very dry because then there's no one to catch the water the water might hit i think we i rode the i think I rode the ride with you once and it drenched you and didn't touch me. Yeah, I love being wet though. I will say the thing about Jason, he loves being soaking wet at a theme park. The only person I know

that embraces trench foot. Yeah, I mean, I will say this ride is very well suited to Orlando because you can ride it at midnight when it's like 75 degrees and sure i'm already soaking wet from sweat fine but like southern california uh either gotta i mean you can if you try if you hold your feet up and you you got a hoodie on or something like you can get not that wet but there's like a very small portion of the year where you're like i want to ride this and i want to get very wet because it doesn't get that

hot here right right yeah uh another thing about it is that uh it's like it's got a lot of moves it's got a lot of different emotional moves which i like like it's fun and then it's like psychedelic there's like a weird drug trip part of it and then it turns scary when this little opossum is uh telling you don't fall into the briar patch right so it's got these nice moves i will say also this the ride often is broken a little bit and a lot of show scenes are in pure darkness so sometimes you ride it and it's truly a sinister feeling because it feels like you're riding it with the lights off and it feels like i don't know what's lurking there there's a bear but he's i can't see what he's doing and like a lot of randomly placed laughs like yes there's

a lot of laughs you don't know why people are or animals are laughing and it's hard it's it's it's uh historically hard to fix this ride because it's a water ride and you have to shut things down. So when stuff starts breaking, they just kind of have to go with it a lot of time. So you ride it and half the show scenes aren't lit up. It's truly creepy. It's a very creepy thing. For like a chunk every year, essentially. And you can tell when it's opened back up again because that last show scene with all the animatronics on the boat and it looks so great when everything's

moving but there were times every now and then where only half the people are moving well there is like a threshold where it's like you know if there's 18 little animals on there they're like all right we cross the threat like it's 10 aren't working we gotta go up there but like nine is like i'm not going up i think so there there is clip, but we should find it and post it. There's a clip not long ago where someone went and saw the boat goes into that last scene on the show boat. And all of the robots aren't working. And it's truly creepy. And they're just staring at you.

They didn't shut the song off, did they? The song is still playing. So someone's singing, but it's not these characters and it's it's alarm it's very alarming it's their ghosts by the way i i think it's fun sometimes when we just call them robots you can't say animatronics every time it's such a pretty mealy mouth we like to have a little sense of humor about it so it's funny to say like yeah that robot over there i think i just to say robots let's get it even more wrong i think i called them people a moment i guess well maybe one day we'll call them people you know what are those metal people doing that one's furry um what are other details of this uh well mike brought something up that I really like in that if there's, for me, because I haven't been on it a lot, you fall for those fake drops.

Like those fake drops are like nice moments of like surprise. They kind of get the anticipation level up. It seemed like in that one moment that you get distracted by that big old bear butt. Yeah. That's kind of good. And then you aren't looking down. And then that one's in pure darkness so it sneaks up on you. So if I'm a kid riding that for the first time,

I think that's a good fake out. I think at the top too, if you've been on it for the first time, you go up, it takes you up, and you go around and you're outside at the first point. And then you see there's a drop coming. And I think if you didn't know, you might think this is the first this is the drop yeah so you don't even know it's it does such a good job of making you not even aware so i bet if you're going

on the first time you go oh this must be that drop i saw right because you don't yeah as you said earlier you're disoriented you don't know where you are are already so it's such a maze i want to see the plans of it like i probably i'm an idiot so i don't really probably even know i understand like if i saw blueprints but like i i would love to like know or even i mean like i i know from listening to the podcast the dream is a mid-ride shutdown and a walk-on and people have had it at the top of the lift hill on splash mountain whoa right before yes that's gotta be the big that's the dream that's that's one of the big ones I mean obviously Indiana Jones, Pirates But yes, at the top of the lift hill on Splash Mountain Certainly one of the walk-off dreams

Oh man That'd be my dream if I went on it Yeah, that would be the best case scenario Much like Steven Spielberg riding the Jurassic Park ride Who got off right before the drop Yeah, yeah, yeah If I could Well, I don't want to

I'm the director of Song of the South We got off right before the drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I could... Well, I don't want to... Excuse me. I'm the director of Song of the South. Can you let me off, please? Maybe that'll be how the special ends, is that you start having a fit on the way up, and then you try to get out of the flume, and they have to shut the whole ride down.

Yeah. And then you end up in Disney jail or something. I'm ushered into a straight jacket. Pills are shoved in my mouth. He's sedated. Or maybe we bring two top hats and we try to put the top hats on the crows. Top hats. See if we can reach out.

Little hooks. Yeah, yeah. Well, a lot of people do bring props on this ride. It's become a real thing that the photo that they take as you drop uh you know there's been like a group of people are playing like donkey kong on xbox they like set up an entire one of them's holding the console the other two people have the uh the controllers and somebody's holding a tv this is like like i feel like There's someone playing chess. Yeah, yeah. Wait, how did they get that stuff on?

I have no idea. Half in your bag, yeah. Yeah, it's a whole... Also, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock's photo is very fun. There's a photo of him going down Splash Mountain. He's just, like, cheering. He's just super psyched. But there's a lot of...

Yeah, I think, as I said earlier, people who've ridden this 150 times, they start getting fucking cute with this shit. And I'll tell you what, I don't care for it. I don't like it. Well, you know what I don't like? And I feel the same way if I'm seeing a live show or going to a premiere of a movie. The audience will never be the entertainment.

Don't do that. Don't talk during a comedy show. Don't yell during the trailer of a premiere of a movie. Especially don't be the second guy that does it who thinks he's going to get as much of a response as the first guy. Because I've seen that happen at every Marvel movie where someone says something. And then a second guy tries to say something else. And he's crucified. We've seen some opening night showings

at the City Walk at Universal and a lot of bits during those trailers people are well behaved during the movie because they're so excited to see the movie but the trailers there's some performative stuff going on irritating area

I feel like I have some blood on my hands as one of the original people involved in the beginnings of The Room. Tommy Wiseau's The Room. It became this dream for me and my friends because I was part of the group that found it first in 2003 and

oh my god, there is this movie and we know no one else will be in it. It is just airing to no one and we can go in there and yell and make up our stuff. And I remember when people started throwing spoons at the screen. And now it is such a nightmare. It is pure bedlam in those rooms. It's mob mentality.

Foreclose the room screenings. I say they are out of control. We'll never just firebomb the whole thing. You just see pictures and you're like what hell hath i wrought absolutely yeah i couldn't do it i have no desire to go to one of those i had a not to get too far off topic but i had i saw joe's apartment when i was a kid it was like mtv's first like a foray into a film on which uh owen burke ucb mainstay was he was like a pa on that movie weird fact uh first movie he worked on i think yeah that was uh very much our experience

where no one else was in the theater and i don't know how old i was like probably 10 or so and i'm looking around and i'm like wait we can kind of do anything we want right now and i was too much again of a wiener. But, like, I definitely had some friends that were licking gummy bears and winging them at the screen and stuff. It's pretty, yeah, well, it feels fun if it's you and your friends because you know them. But if it's some jerks you don't know, sit down and shut up. Anyway, well, the other bit of fun, obviously, that people have had on Splash Mountain is you go down that drop, you lift up your shirt, and you show them boobies. A phenomenon known as Flash Mountain.

Flash Mountain. And this is very much the, like... I don't care for it. None of us care for it. Well, yes, we're good little boys, and we don't approve of R-rated materials occurring on our beloved attractions. Or R-rated material in general. No, no, no. See, now here's the thing. I heard about Flash Mountain whenever it was having its heyday,

and I, of course, stayed away from that. Not for me. Good. But just for pure research purposes, I thought I should see what's going on on Flash Mountain these days. And it's still a thing? It is not still a thing. The address was

flashmountain.net. They didn't get the .com. And it seems to have disappeared around 2006 or so. But via the Wayback Machine at web.archive.org you can check out the remnants of Flash Mountain

and let me tell you what you've all been missing out on a warning splash page and then 16 low res jpegs which all do contain nipple content but some of them you have to search for. In some cases, it's like, is there one?

Oh, yeah, I guess so. And then there's one of the 16 that is not Splash Mountain. It's a different roller coaster entirely. And I checked in 2003, and I checked in 2005, and it stayed the same 16. It is a wall of 16 JPEGs of blurry boobs in motion. I just want to point out to the listeners Jason's glasses have fogged up Tapping against the glass I will not stop spinning and my shirt Dickie has rolled up

Jason is usually just dressed like big bird at the symphony yeah your pupils have turned into giant breasts i believe uh tmz also did a segment on it but back back around that time and it seemed like i i read a write-up about it and it seemed they they went like oh there's this website yeah we'll just do the same thing we'll just take these pictures down and show them ourselves but blur them yo sure yeah like this thing's crazy right harvey like you know i just couldn't believe that it was so thin i i think i'd always imagined it was this vast archive. When you brought it up, I thought, oh, this must have been a real issue that they had to make changes for.

But like 16. And one of them is not. So actually, only 15. Now they could just catch it and hide it immediately. Digitally, yeah. Although I heard there were also some stories in 2009 that due to budget cutbacks, they had to get rid of the person who was doing those checks. So I don't know if that remains true. But there was thought of, will Flash Mountain return?

And it did not. I don't know if I've ever had this confirmed. But the rumor also was that in Disneyland, they had to get rid of Captain Jack Sparrow walk-around character because women were flashing him. I don't know if that's ever been. Because they still have him in Florida. And I saw him when we were there. But I have not seen Captain Jack. I got to say, when I'm going to Disney, my experience there is not what those people anticipate their vacation to be.

I really wanted to be escapist where there's no murder. I'm in a new world Where it's safe and it's fun Yeah, it's safe, and it's fun, and it's like there's no I'm very anti only you know like you don't even like that the idea that like there's this dark Secret belly of Disneyland. I think that all the bad characters should go. You don't know why they keep this haunted house open. This haunted mansion is a problem.

They just bulldoze this house. There's spirits in this thing and they keep it open? Let them rest in peace. A lot of them seem to have died in silly ways. Look, I totally agree with you. For my money, the only baudiness I want is a couple

burlesque bird dancers on a steamship lifting up their dresses a little bit while they're dancing. That's as much bawdiness as I like. But you leave it to the imagination. Disneyland's a land of imagination. And isn't it sexier if you don't see all the way up the skirt? Of course it is. Direct quote from parents.

Save that funny business for your official Disney hotel rooms or the Disney Dream Suite or Walt's apartment. You have a key. If you happen to know a mayor who happens to be lonely that evening. If you know a mayor. Fuck, I'll still party. Just in the privacy of my own home which is walt's apartment you're like that canadian mayor uh what's the late rob ford yeah i'm sorry rest in peace rob but instead of crack rocks it's rock candy yeah made on site the disney conventionary do snort it

he's snorting ruck he's got a pile of ruck candy like Scarface have you all done like a food based episode yet where you check it not entirely though our Harry Potter episode is very food centric we cover the food more than any other element yeah

the doughboys are very litigious we don't want to do that uh so yeah so i mean does anybody have any other thoughts before we get to the finally that the scale we've been talking about right right i have one final thought which is i'd like to send some appreciation to uh you know uh the main there's all this music in the ride that's very of the period, very 40s, the 40s Academy Award winning song, Zippity-Doo-Dah. But, you know, I'm a kid of the rad 80s. I don't know if I can relate to this stuff. And I appreciate that in a lot of these specials,

they updated Zippity-Doo-Dah for the hip-hop generation. And there are several pieces of material. There was some special and the uh this in the sing-along songs not only is it kind of a hip-hopped out zippity-doo-dah that they present where there's like a sample of a guy there's also there is a little added rap verse i mean you know you know what? Here, I'll just go, I'll pre-say, this is my plus it up, is to get this great rap that only exists in promotional materials into the ride itself.

And I could play a clip, but I think, I think I owe it to everyone to perform it myself. It's very brief, but I think it's very beautiful. Well, you know, it is a thrill when you go downhill cause you're riding on a mountain of your own free will

and you're zipping in a flash on a daring dash down a waterfall so rapid that you go splish splash. Zip, zip, zip, zip, zip. Let's get that beautiful refrain into the... Perfect. Isn't it? That's echoed in my... That's my favorite

rap song I don't know about no Kendrick Lamar but I do know this it's a good little tune so kudos to the writers of Rappity Doodah is that what it goes by?

no I'm going to call it that it's a long way from Percocet, Molly Percocet. We'll put that up, too. That's on one of the old sing-along songs. So I combined some segments. That's my plus. Let's plus it up. That's all right.

Okay, well, that was plus it up for Scott. Jason, what do you think? Yeah, I think, well, my plus it like, let's, let's get those show scenes always lit. Let's get those animatronics always moving. Cause that showboat scene is so fun. I'm wondering if, you know, uh, sometimes soon, maybe a few years down the line, we, we re-examine some of those voices, maybe soften those voices a little more even.

Cause I feel like when we were watching the ride through I was like, oh there's one or two moments where I don't know. I mean I still think it's more fun. I'm sorry. Well again, get them doing the rap. Put the rap replace the dialogue with the rap.

Yeah, but I do think it's fun and I do think it would be interested to see as we get older uh you know what the conversation is around the source material if something eventually does come out or what the if if consensus i mean i don't know that consensus will ever be reached on that movie but like i think it's an interesting thing. If a consensus is reached, let's put that next to the safety instructions on the ride.

Yeah. Here is where history has landed on Song of the South, the film on which this ride is based. Yeah, but I do think it is an example of a thing that was inspired by another thing that has transcended its original source material. I would say that the, yes,

that the fun ride is better than racially disputed film. It's official. That's a mayoral decree. People enjoy this ride. All right. Do you want to go next? Sure. Well, I've kind of already

said a bit of what I had changed. I'll reiterate a little quickly. I'll say that I think it's an almost perfect ride as is. I really love it. Obviously, I have a very bizarre emotional attachment to it. Maybe Brain was mentioned a couple times on the podcast today.

And but if I were to like make some like fun tweaks i always feel like there are moments and don't get me wrong like i like the animatronics are great when i'm on a slower dark ride i almost want to interact a little bit more i would love if you could bring like a a mug maybe a souvenir mug with you and maybe one of the animatronics Pours you a little something into it. You're going slow enough You know you can tie in some sponsorships if you'd like coca-cola products, but you bring some of the the sodas from cool Club

from Epcot The Coca-Cola national soda some international sodas international sodas. Ever know how that feels? A very bitter one? Yeah. Folds into the South, American South. No, no, but that's the beauty of the river wine. That's the beauty of the rivers of America, right? Like, America's a melting pot of sodas.

It is a melting pot, that's true. So I would say, like, maybe it's a little interactive tinge there. I agree with Jason. Voice changes. Bring the Rob Polsons of the world in. I don't need Selena Gomez voicing Rare Rabbits. I don't want any celebrities that usually takes me out of it. But those are my very minor changes where I find a very fun ride experience.

Okay. That sounds good. I have a... Okay, I'm going to say plus it up. But what I'm going to say when I say plus, I guess it's kind of a lateral move. Here's what I want. Pull all the America Sings animatronics back out. Put them back into Tomorrowland.

Bring back America Sings. That place has been empty for too long. There needs to be something in Tomorrowland that people want to go see. Take those characters out. Now, the Winnie the Pooh attraction, kind of less popular. Take Pooh Bear, all the animatronics from that, replace all of the America Sings animatronics on Splash Mountain with the Pooh Bear and the Pooh characters.

This is the honeypot slow ride? Yes, the slow, Tigger, Piglet, Kanga, Little Roo, all of the characters. Put them on the riverboat. Put them in fun dresses, dancing. I don't care. I'm just saying Splash Mountain is such a good ride. It can withstand to lose some of these robots. We cannot take Tomorrowland

being like this for much longer. The thing should be condemned. It's unbelievable. Hold on. Wait a second. That's madness. That's madness. What do you mean? What is the name of the wood 100 acre wood isn't that in england but that's in christopher robin's imagination

jason it can be anywhere okay he can imagine it to be in the antebellum south post antebellum post wait what does antebellum mean current antebellum means uh pre-war. Oh, shit. Well, I learn something every day. Post-reconstruction. Post-reconstruction era. Okay, you're right. Okay, so the war's been fought. Things are fine. Who and his friends are having fun?

See, and that was the problem with the movie. People weren't sure when it took place. Yeah, that was it. But you, yeah, that was it. So these swamp creatures, their friends from Britain are just visiting? It does not ever occur to me that Winnie the Pooh is British. Yeah, no.

He's no Paddington. He doesn't wear his country on his sleeve. Christopher Robin is British, but we don't need him in the ride. Yeah, if anything... He's the boring character. Tigger's hijinks are going to be perfect for the laughing place, Jason. He's laughing constantly i i agree i think poo could fit in i i i i also think like

poo is like he is pretty uh malleable he's just kind of like sure a slow hungry character that like you can just put in um but jason do you have a rebuttal potentially? I don't mean to hijack the podcast. No, no, please. But would you put a different set of characters in? Wait a minute. I don't want to replace your answer, but what are the country bears doing? Hey. They're sitting around somewhere.

Now there's a plus it up to my plus it up. Yeah, former residents of the country. Let's get all these fucking characters off the ride, And let's put Liverlips McGraw in there. Let's put Gomer and his... Let's put Trixie in. These are beloved characters as far as I'm concerned. I've never been more passionate about anything in my life. It's a shame that timing didn't work out.

That no one went like, wait, why don't we do the same thing with the country bear? Let's put... Yeah, let's put the country bear in the show. Yes. The country bear is the subject to some of the craziest timing in Disneyland history where they took the ride out as they were prepping the release of the film. What are you thinking? You're going to make a movie that looks that you know is bad.

You guys know this. You have a bunch of bears singing with Bonnie Raitt and shit. You know this isn't going to be good anyway. At least use your one tie-in opportunity. Let's get another episode we have to do is watch that goddamn Country Bears movie that doesn't even use any of the character Country Bears from the show. Yeah. It's just a bunch of different weird bears. And they all sing with like, yeah, they sing with the voices of Bonnie Raitt and Don Henley.

And it's not even like, where's your classic Big Al voice? That's got to be separate, though, from the actual Country Bears. Yes, there'll be many Country Bears episodes on this podcast. There'll be many. Okay, very the actual Country Bears episode. Yes, there'll be many Country Bears episodes on this podcast. There'll be many. Okay, very good. Country Bear Holiday in Japan. Anyway, but I think we stumbled upon something interesting. Get some more animatronics in there.

Well, I'm fine with, yeah, take all the characters out of Splash Mountain and put the Country Bears on. We have to put America Sings back together? Yes. Boy. Because the 300-year centennial is right around centennial is right around we need to get it ready for the next ready for tricentennial yeah it'll catch you uh i mean if there is one thing that could heal our nation right now it might be america sings hearing hearing an eagle with the voice of burl lives singing you're a grand old flag you're a grand old flag. You're a high-flying flag.

Maybe even bring back old Bonnie Wright to sing, like, I don't know, to do Ron Ron. Sure. Yep, Nation Heels. That'll do it. No doubt. That'll do it. All right.

Very nice. Well, we figured it out. We figured out what to do. Okay, so the last thing, Gio, we've kind of constructed a little bit of a game here. And I'm going to be the game master. I've put this together. And it's based on when Lindsay and I went to Disney World a couple years ago, there was some

construction walls up. And when they have these construction walls up, they put things on them to entertain you so it's not just a standard wall. And I forget what was it. I think it was Seven Dwarfs. And they put up quotes from Walt Disney. And there's a couple quotes everyone's familiar with, which is like, just remember, it all started with the mouse. And let's see, another famous quote.

The show doesn't go on because it's ready. It goes on because it's 1130. Walt's not ready for primetime players. Walt Disney walt disney started saturday night live didn't he that's true yeah i thought that was a quote about weekend live we're studios no it was studio 60 i think that's a matt who would walt's uh who would have walt he would have had wally bogue in his cast who would walt earl ravenscroft ravenscroft paul freeze sterling holloway oh my god can you imagine annette louis armstrong uh regular cast member uh kurt russell annette and then uh joseph mccarthy senator joseph mccarthy nixon and suzanne plachette

what a cast that would have been a hell of a cast i like the n Suzanne Plachette. What a cast. That would have been a hell of a cast. I like the Nixon-Plachette era the most. Do you like the era you grew up with? Yeah. I know people say this, but the show is better. Great music during those seasons, too. Great music.

The guests. Yeah. Zippity-doo-dah performed every single week. And the Sherman Brothers. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. So you were saying. Yeah, so I was saying. So once those quotes were out of the way, there were a lot of mundane quotes, to put it mildly.

Stuff that seemed very, like, there was no specific character to it. Okay. And then I started looking up, like, other Walt quotes. So I'll give you one of the other quotes. When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do. And that is a Walt Disney quote. That is a quote. It's been attributed to him.

I don't know why. But I looked it up, and there are many of these quotes that are just very mundane seeming. There's no magic in them. You couldn't tell who said them if you gave them a list of famous people. So I found all these. I wrote, I found six of them. And then I wrote six fake ones. Oh, okay.

So what we're going to do is I'm going to read both of the quotes. And you guys are going to guess what's the fake Walt quote and what's the real Walt quote. Okay. Okay. So if some, well, I'll keep a score here. All right. So let's start. I'll give you one line and obviously I'll switch them around so you don't know what's first.

So one of the lines is, the two things that have best aided me in my professional life are ideas and persistence. Okay. Now the other line is, laughter is America's most important export. Which is the real Walt quote? I can repeat them if you want. I think the first one is real. Okay, you want me to repeat them? No, I'm going to agree.

I think the first one's real because it has that kind of sad Depression-era vibe to it. More his era. Scott, what do you think? First one. The second one is the real one. Wow.

The fake Walt quote. The fake is the two things that have best aided me in my professional life are ideas and persistence. That is fake. I wrote that. Mike, that's excellent. Sounds really good. So laughter is America's most important export is a real Walt Disney quote. All right.

Let's do another one. That sounds like something you'd hear at the NBC upfronts or something. Oh something yes oh yeah no it's these full of these okay okay good so all right here we go the first line uh disneyland represents the america that exists in our hearts and the second one is uh you may not realize it when it happens but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you it seems i'm gonna say second because the first one seems so clean it seems like a fake out yeah it almost is too too uh disney i think i think the first one is real this time i'm gonna i'll say i think it's the second one and he said it on his deathbed final words uh i don't know where any of these quotes came in his life so i don't know if he I'll say, I think it's the second one, and he said it on his deathbed. Final words. I don't know where any of these quotes came in his life, so I don't know if he was dying when he said these.

Could have been. The correct is the second one. Jason loses that. I've stopped keeping score, because who cares. All right, track of your own. All right, here we go. Next one. I would rather entertain and hope that people learn something than educate people and hope they were entertained.

And then the other one is, when you find a great collaborator, someone who you get along with and who can understand and execute your vision, hang on to them. Okay. You can play at home, too, by the way. This one feels like it could be like an epcot well no he like when you were his idea of epcot he wanted it to be like educational and utopian uh-huh uh i'll say the first one yeah i'll go with that too i'll go first too this time the answer is the first one Good. All right. Now you guys are on track here. So I have at least two, but I don't know.

Yeah. Let's just do it. We'll do one more because I think I only have one more good one. All right. Here we go. The first one is, when you're in the thick of something, remember to take a moment for yourself. Now, the second one is, of all the things I i've done the most vital is coordinating those who work with me and aiming their efforts at a certain goal that one's hitler i know i jig is up

first uh yeah i think it's the first one or the second one could be his deathbed quote now that i think about it i think it might be the first one because i can just picture that picture of him wandering through the castle before the park opened one day just smiling that that seems like okay like sure yeah all right so first and second to you uh you're all wrong what it's the second one that was walt the quote of all the things i've, the most vital is coordinating those who work with me and aiming their efforts at a certain goal. Walt Disney, the inspirational Walt Disney. So if you want to go look up Walt Disney quotes, and there's so many of them, and most of them are just the most boring. Walt Disney.

Dry. Yeah, like a career counselor. I swear this is probably a bit weird, but it just felt like he was on the wall when we were walking by. It was just like, make sure to always have a good executive assistant. Like very dry. Like advice he'd give to a colleague

who was starting an office somewhere. If you're building a river with a massive boat? Make sure that it's simple enough to pilot that a teenager. I do it yeah That's good for a theme park I take a car to work. It's quicker I Think Burbank is a perfectly pleasant place to work That's on the statue at California Adventure Burbank is a perfectly pleasant place to work. Whoa, Walt, say that again. I'll get it down.

That's on the statue at California Adventure. Did you all, when you were at Disney World, did you go through the, like that kind of, they have like the museum. One Man's Dream. One Man's Dream. And then it ends on the theater, but the theater doesn't show anything about him. It's just like whatever new Disney movie's coming out. So I went through Walt out so i went through one man's dream i was like this is kind of nice

they harped a little too much in his hometown didn't care too much about it but uh marceline yeah but i uh i got to the end of it and i was like oh cool there's a movie and this guy's like the movie's starting and he didn't tell me what it was and i walked in and it was just like 10 minutes of the new pirates of the caribbean that i think they changed because it used to be a movie where the only dialogue was clips of him that makes way more sense yeah and then at some point they're like we gotta get people aren't using chess clips in here, right, baby? But without Walt's imagination and penchant for dreaming, you don't end up with Paul McCartney as Captain Jack's weird uncle in jail.

And what a scene. One man's dream. Paul McCartney pirate in jail. Well, on that note, Anthony Geo, you've survived Podcast the Ride. How about it? It was the splash mountain of podcasts. Hey, now, here, let's get a photo before you go. Hey, lift up that sweater.

Hey. Flash those titties. Well, you don't want to do that, but is there anything you do want to promote or alert people to um well you know just uh maybe oh check out people of earth season three will come back in the fall um hey twitter you want twitter oh i'm on twitter uh tweet every couple months uh by that you mean years um yeah at uh a g i o-E oh and I perform on Friday nights at UCB on Franklin with a group called JV

so if you ever want to do a Friday night thing there's something for you yeah and you can follow us podcast to ride at twitter instagram podcast to ride gmail hashtag Jason for D-L-R you know it's catchy when the host forgets Podcast to ride Gmail. Hashtag Jason for DLR.

You know it's catchy when the host forgets. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll let's do this. We'll make Jason Mayer by 2031. Great. The clock starts now. Thanks for listening, everyone.

Bye bye.