Podcast: The Ride - Star Trek: The Cruise (And Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser MAYBE)

Episode Date: March 4, 2022

We take a look at Star Trek: The Cruise which just finished it's fifth voyage! And also Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser* *If we can swing it. Time permitting. Storyliving episode up at the The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever! Dog! Warning. The following podcast may be a testament to the hard work and imagination of those who dared to dream of a one-of-a-kind adventure. To take one of the most beloved

science fiction universes and bring it to life with an unprecedented amount of detail and heart. This week, the world's eyes are on Central Florida as we celebrate the incredible journey of Star Trek The Cruise

on Podcast The Ride, where today you can be our guests. You've got nothing to lose. Won't you let us take you on a star cruise? Ooh-wee, baby. I'm Scott Gairdner, joined by ooh-wee, Mike Carlson. I am here. Owie is now the thing I'll say before being introduced on any podcast, hopefully. That's really like my hee-haw name, maybe.

Like Owie Mike Carlson. Oh, we finally got it. Months after the Country Bear. Yeah. Jambor Week. You got your folksy sound to go with your intros. Owie. And Owie Jason Sheridan as well.

Hi. Hi. Owie, is that a reference to something? Is that a song? to go with your intros. Ooh-wee. And ooh-wee, Jason Sheridan as well. Hi. Hi. Ooh-wee. Is that a reference to, is that a song? Well, this is Sea Cruise, the song. Okay. By Frankie Ford. Is this the song where I was,

I think I was trying to determine with Aaron who the artist of this was and I really confidently said, yeah, it's Solomon George. And then she looked it up and like, no, there's no such person as that. I was like oddly confident

about, I think I was. You were thinking about what Solomon, what's his last name? It was a different guy. He passed away in the last decade. Solomon Burke. Burke, thank you.

I was combining Solomon Burke with George, who is no one and nothing. And then she starts Googling. I'm like, come on, who is it? What is it? Who is he? I said, yeah, who is he? And then she's like, there is no such person as this. Anyway, that's the song.

That's the song Sea Cruise. But today we're talking about star cruises because if you've been paying attention to theme park twitter you have probably noticed that suddenly we're kind of off theme parks at the moment and everyone is talking about immersive star cruise experiences and i think we know why it's because of what's happening this week. And that is, of course, Star Trek The Cruise. Of course. Yeah. One of the big pop culture properties is out immersing people in one of their favorite worlds and going on some incredible adventures.

And we're finally going to talk about it. Yeah. I mean, we've been getting tweets about it. People are texting me. I'm a little confused. Sometimes they seem to have like the property wrong they're saying maybe they're wrong they don't say star trek they say a different thing but they are asking me what i think about it and i'm like man everybody's talking about the star trek cruise that is just coming into port now as we do this episode you know yeah that's uh i mean we and you know i don't i don't want to be

like just go over basics and things that people know, but obviously Star Trek The Cruise is a themed cruise experience that is out right now. It's actually going to arrive, I believe, tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow. I got it wrong. It comes back into port. It left last Saturday, February 26th, returns probably tomorrow.

You're hearing this, I think, on March 5th. And that's when it returns to Port Canaveral, left out of the not far from the Orlando area. So, again, you know, people have probably been seeing social media about it. But this for sure is the big Star Cruise experience in the Orlando, Florida area. And we've been wanting to cover it for a while. And this seemed like the week to do it when Star Trek The Cruise 5 is out. Yeah, and this time next year,

it's got its inaugural voyage from Los Angeles. They're switching coasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's really exciting. I know people have also been asking, when is the Star Cruise experience going to make it over to the West Coast? And the answer is, well, refreshingly soon.

It's next year. It will be making it to L.A. The website is out already. They've announced some of the stuff for 2023. We're trying to determine, you know, what's in store for 2023 for Star Trek The Cruise 6. And by the way, if you want to follow along with any of this and just see some of the visuals that we're talking about, please, of course, go to StarTrekTheCruise.com and that might kind of help you.

Because visually, that's so much of what you want out of that. You can hear about it. And ours is an audio medium. But I think just going to the website tells you so much it's where you see all the revelry yeah and the partying and and klingons hanging out with ferengi on the deck and uh um you just feel that fan enthusiasm you know yeah and jt waters the cruise director leading you know all of the various events that are going on it seems like jt is doing a great job jt waters is the star of this show,

as far as I'm concerned. If you look at the Star Trek Cruise website, JT is everywhere. He seems like a great guy. He seems like you're like ambassador for fun, I would say. What JT Waters has done in terms of revolutionizing the Star Cruise experience,

moving it forward, taking this genre that is growing into new directions. You got to really credit JT. We like to highlight individual kind of pioneers, be it a Tony Baxter or a JT Waters. Yeah, that's true. So yeah, people are probably now, full disclosure, we actually have not, like a lot of things on this show, we have not gone on this cruise, but we've done a lot of looking into YouTube videos, looking at Star Trek cruises past, looking at the different things they've done over the years and seeing where they're headed in the future. So, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, and we were good. We would have done 2021. That was going to be the year. But, of course, you know know all this stuff happened and we didn't get to do it um you know there was there were a lot of virtual experiences uh you know god bless them they tried and they they made it feel like star trek the cruise on land but there's only so much you can do yeah and the thing is like you know there's a lot of like media gets invited to

star trek the cruise but we were we weren't let into that exclusive club yeah yeah yet i mean maybe next year yeah no i'm saying i would love to do it maybe next year i'm just saying so like that's why if you're wondering like oh you're mad that these guys don't like didn't get to go it was because we weren't invited we didn't get a free trip to the star trek cruise because we would have loved to go and and sampled all the stuff yeah of course and you know and you know we'll see if that impacts our review if we can be objective and kind of judge it on its own merits or like i don't know i mean i almost feel like if we got if we'd been invited to it and gotten to do it all for free these things that should cost thousands of dollars we might be more apt to just praise it completely but you might get like a more even

handed review of the star cruise from us because because we weren't invited uh-huh so yeah that makes a lot of sense so so yeah we're giving you the sort of the outsider's perspective right now yeah but i think you know you know us we've covered things that we weren't even alive when they were open and that's true yeah so i think we you know we've done our research we've done our homework i think we can delve into this thing so we've got a lot to get through in terms of star trek the cruise it's an interesting time i feel like for star trek the cruise because there are other as i said i think the genre is getting more popular and there is this other star cruise that's based on a property

that I know a little bit about. I had a little bit of time to touch on it and we'll try to get to it if we can. But do you guys, I mean, you guys came across that as well. Is this the, what is it? It's the thing that, it's the thing that Disney bought

and sometimes they treat it like it's a burden that they have these six old movies. Star Wars. Star Wars. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the other. I always get them mixed up.

But yeah, the other star thing. And which is, okay, so just to keep it straight, CBS Consumer Products is responsible for Star Trek The Cruise, but the Walt Disney Company is responsible for star trek the cruise but the walt disney company is responsible for the star star wars galactic star cruiser is that right i'm looking that yeah i know you're right that's the name of the thing but the i guess we should say the the cruise itself is is a simulation of many things it's not just a simulation of like the the world of those movies it's simulating it's not an actual cruise yeah that's an interesting thing about it and

again so you know as we said like crazy time for star trek the cruise you've got you've got challengers coming it's like this star wars thing is like the mad tv to the snl right like the established star cruise that's out there and i think it is an odd choice to not it's almost like mad tv wasn't live and you're missing that component that's exciting about snl and similarly it's not a crew you don't go anywhere so that's a as opposed to star trek the cruise which goes different places every year. But this year, it starts in Port Canaveral. You go to Nassau, you go to St. Thomas, you go to St. Martin. So you're covering the whole Caribbean Sea.

And now where do you go in Galactic Star Cruiser? You see, here's the thing. You don't really go, well, you go, how to say this? So it's sort of backstage at disney's hollywood studios like you got like you you were you were in a hotel it's kind of a whole it's like the is it theater of the mind yeah it's it's uh that that immersive theater immersive theater is the phrase and so like you do get an excursion day do you think there was a chance and like you

might you might know more about this someone me, when Scott Trowbridge, I mean, I'm not saying Scott Trowbridge stole the idea of the whole Halcyon, that's what it's called. Mike, certainly. From the Star Trek cruise, but maybe he certainly was influenced. Who scheduled first?

Who picked this March? Who picked February and March? Who picked that first? I mean, look, Star Trek the cruise has been seemingly, it's been, Who picked this March? You picked February and March. Who picked that first? That's a good point. I mean, that's the, yeah, look. That's a good point. Star Trek The Cruise has been, seemingly, it's been, I guess I don't know when they left in 2017, but for the last few years and next year, that's their territories, late

February, early March. So, like, how does all of a sudden this Star Wars Cruise thing happen to land exactly, like, to steal the thunder. It's some weird kind of wag the dogs. Like, what if we create a distraction over here and try to get people to not talk about the others? But it's not working. We're talking about Star Trek the cruise. Yeah.

No, it's, look, you know, sometimes, you know, we love Disney sometimes. And sometimes we think Disney's up to no good. And I'll be honest. I'll say it i think that disney was just trying to steal the thunder of the star trek cruise the annual star trek cruise they saw the opportunity here to usurp the whole stat of the whole big anybody who's a fan of uh fiction in the stars they're now going to be looking over at disney and they're not going to be looking at uh jt right that's a guy's name uh jt waters jt waters thank you waters they're not going to be looking at any waters because the thing doesn't go that's i think that's something that's weird to me and

j and and jason again you seem to know more about it it's so it's like it's a simulation of of of space but it's obviously it doesn't go to space because nothing goes to space yeah yeah unless you're close well you know when is william shatner right there you go from star trek that's right so that franchise represented in actual space blue origin goes to space yeah so so but so it's a so this is a cruise that is meant to evoke the stars and a cruise, but it doesn't go to sea or space. No, it goes like a quarter mile to the back entrance, special back entrance of Disney's Hollywood Studios. And to the, so like it connects to the thing

that's already, that's been there for a while. Yeah, but there's like missions you get. I know they gave everyone iPhones when they checked in. Okay, sure, yeah, yeah. And cables and chargers to do that data pad that's built into the Disney Play app.

Apparently the Disney Play app also works, but I think they were trying to get... Okay, let me ask you this. Yeah, how fast, when you're in the Star Wars hotel, how fast can you get a martini in your hand? Well, there's a bar. Right.

I've seen some pictures of that. Yeah. But can you get a martini as you're entering? No, right? No. I think there's little things you have to do when you enter. I think there's a muster. like what is a muster well that's when like the whole gang has to like the captain has to address every okay how do you know what that frame you know you know at least a thousand more words than i do i me too i that was that was in some of the limited media coverage

well there's a muster too i saw the muster of the limited media coverage. Well, there's a muster, too. I saw the muster of the Star Trek cruise this year was George Takei greeting everybody sort of in the circle, the main part of the ship, and he just wanted to make sure everybody had a great cruise. Well, we talked about Grandpa Muster for a while, a couple weeks ago. Does that have to do with this? No, no. That's not. Oh, that was not missing.

Let's not be silly. Let's not be silly. Let's not be silly. That's Munster. Though that being said, you could see a scenario where Al Lewis was using the name Grandpa Muster to get around copyright issues with Universal. It's me, Grandpa Muster.

He's Grandpa Muster. You gotta add a little more. Sorry. All right. Grandpa Muster. Hey, did everyone see the video that's been going around that people have sent to us where grandpa monster and uh uh who was it uh the other al porno yeah al uh pornographer what's his name from like screw magazine yeah al goldstein i believe that's right

grandpa monster is yelling at us to not put them on pedestals. I know I always put the creator of Screw Magazine on pedestal for one thing. Well, yeah, him we haven't, but we literally did put Al Lewis on a pedestal. Now, if I'd known we were going against his wishes, maybe we wouldn't have done a whole episode about him and his restaurant. But I feel like that was guaranteed to happen. Because we cover what is big and relevant and people are talking about and that's grandpa and that's star trek the cruise exactly so you were saying all right so there's a muster i saw a video that you do get handed some like grapefruit colored drink but i

bet not alcoholic i bet yeah i don't think they're just passing out it's it's more yeah i mean there look this is also a thing like um the star wars stuff is a little more all ages as far as the Star Trek. So I understand there's limitations to that because Star Trek is a little more of a party, a little more of a... It's really a party. And I got to say, one of my main takeaways from the Star Trek cruise, not just compared to this Star Wars on land cruise experience. Star Trek cruise seems much hornier, much more than a lot of entertainment. I think you are 100% correct.

If you see just any YouTube video of a bunch of group of people or a group of people on, you know, in one of the parties or on the decks, everyone, there's an energy to the videos. That's all I'll say. I'll keep it clean. There's an energy that is definitely lacking from the Star Wars hotel. It's kind of like maybe a divorcee energy, maybe a swinger energy. I mean, it could be that.

I think both of those energies are possible. Divorcee, swingers, and big-time nerds, which which folks, I was a big time nerd growing up. When you give them an opportunity to cut loose. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Batten down the hatches. Band kid, theater kid energy. Dangerous. Dangerous.

Which, yeah. Could power a city. Is almost worse than like football player horny energy in a way. Ten times worse. Or pent up. It's released less often. It's pent up and it's overthought. Dangerous combination.

So imagine that energy. It hasn't been expressed anywhere in 40 years and a person boards the Star Trek cruise and they see fucking Wil Wheaton in his street clothes and they go absolutely nuts. That's the energy you're getting when you watch these videos with the star the other thing the the sense that i got about the

star wars thing is that it's pretty rigid and there's a ton to do right you barely have a minute to breathe like you get on this trajectory so so i mean it's not lacking in activities there's a lot to do but i'd say it looks like a ton of activities on Star Trek The Cruise. Yes. And activities that are a little looser in their definition structure. So, you know, like maybe you fit in a little bit of, you know, let's just say canoodling. Let's leave the language a little lighter it seems like if you hook up at the star wars hotel that you're gonna miss big chunks of narrative it feels like if all of a

sudden you like me if there's singles on the on the at the hotel or at the star trek bar or excuse me star wars bar and you go off somewhere you're gonna miss you're not even gonna understand what's going on once you come back yeah i mean there's not a lot of opportunity for naps seemingly um i i did see which is a concern well you know that's a a little joke about me but when you're on vacation nice nap goes a long way it brings you back to life you know and and especially on on cruises and stuff that that sun that sea air can be a little draining. So you might need a nap because- That's true.

You know, one of the benefits of being on a cruise while some stuff is scheduled for you, a lot of them have 24-hour room service. A lot of places, you know, open 24 hours a day. Right. That's true. Yeah. Are you a cruise guy, can I ask?

Well, you know, i went on one cruise when i was like 12 with my family uh big thing that stuck out my mind is uh as soon as we boarded the ship i noticed my middle school computer teacher and her husband were also on this cruise and we would uh occasionally run into each other and just go hi how are you how are you that was very weird i mean it's already weird enough running into your teacher at the mall let alone on a norwegian cruise line vessel oh your computer teacher like typing teacher like yeah sixth grade typing and you know here's how to use the microsoft word program were you was it like she was like acting

diff was she acting any different or it was like no she was always pretty reserved and she was she seemed like she was having fun but she wasn't she wasn't cutting loose and again i was 12 years old so while i was the appropriate age where i was allowed to wander the cruise ship alone i think i hit the cutoff i think 12 you're allowed to like there was a little thing on your name tag or your lanyard or whatever but you had to keep that on there was something yeah the kids had to keep on i think the same that's the line with star trek the cruise is you got to be 13 at least and 13 to 18 have got to be with adult with a chaperone yeah yeah whereas the star wars thing is all ages and seems like seems like maybe even more geared to kids, is what we're saying.

Yeah, do we know on the Star Wars hotel, can you be like two 12-year-olds alone? I don't think so, right? I think that's allowed, yeah. It is? You think it is allowed? Yeah, I think so. Okay. They're broken from their typical rules.

They seem to have paired it off as like two adults in a room or three adults and one child, which is an odd... Or three children. Three in what scenario? I guess maybe if you're going with a grandparent. Or an uncle or aunt. Or a step-parent is going with the biological parents,

but that seems like a strange scenario. And wants to sleep out on the fold-out bench. That's who making that choice. Well, you can't, look. If it's a divorced couple, they're not going to be in the bed together. Or at least, maybe, I don't know, that's a role-playing scenario, I guess,

within the Galactic Star Cruiser. Say, Scott, you and your wife and your child, and Jason goes. Obviously, we're going to stay in the same room. He's going to be on an eyesore. Then Star Wars Hotel, there's a piece of the wall that just pulls out obviously we're gonna stay in the same room he's gonna be on and i saw that in star wars hotel there's just like a there's a piece of the wall that just pulls out like a some sort of a prison cot yeah jason you'll be sleeping on that and that's next to the it's quote unquote escape

pod i saw the the emergency exit yes i apparently is so that if you call 911, they have a way to get to you. This is real. Yeah, I saw a video that explained it. You watch a thing before the story starts where, all right, that explains if something scary is happening and all the lights are red that is a dramatic story point right but if all the lights are on if it's just like end of concert lighting then you know there's been an actual emergency and you need to listen stop don't start yelling about hey forced order we'll get you no no no those are the real paramedics someone is having having a cardiac event. This is not a Kylo Ren situation. That choking was real.

There wasn't a slightly out of the room Kylo. The paramedics do not want to take the thematic simulator that is a practical elevator. They want to use a back door and come directly to the room. So you're put on this pin and these weird long gloves. Okay, now you may enter. Now your character's name. Choose a path. So, and there's also, the thing in rooms are just like panic rooms, essentially?

There's kind of a, yeah, kind of a panic room. People were once again bringing up my mention of people making love. Oh, in the emergency panic rooms? But I said rendezvous in the panic room because oh wow it doesn't seem like it would fit to what media did you say this what is twitter okay someone tagged me in a guy selga post where he he you know congratulated all the initial cruisers breaking in the mattresses oh boy that their ship is called the halcyon the star trek cruise is called the navigator of the sea yes yeah can we talk about the emergency rules on the star trek cruise

um which i believe is just uh basic titanic rules get to the lifeboat get to lifeboat first yeah yeah yeah um i used to know someone i used to work with someone who had worked in uh entertainment on a cruise ship yeah they were right out of college and uh they told me they had been trained to captain the lifeboats uh they trained all the entertainment people because entertainment people have experience talking to crowds and being you know charismatic uh they also told me that uh one of the other entertainment people on that lifeboat was trained how to use the handgun that's on every lifeboat right because maritime law being what it is you have to obey the orders of the crew of a vessel even if it's a cruise ship lifeboat i think this is a fact you've said to me once a year this is something that you have said there's a gun on each lifeboat i and it's i don't know if

it's still the case but it was in the early to mid 2000s was it international like are they technically international waters is it it would be an international waters scenario i mean depending how close you are to the coast it might fall to local jurisdiction if you're like right off the coast okay so let's if we're comparing star trek cruise to star wars cruise there are actual guns on the star trek cruise there is a chance there are actual handguns uh in the lifeboats on this probably flare guns flare guns right yeah and maybe possibly slightly less regulated if you were to bring as a guest if you were to bring an actual firearm on probably Probably they're checking just fine, but like

you know, like Disney is gonna button down on that more than Yeah, you would think, but like once in a while stuff sneaks by in Florida. Oh yeah, they don't really check baggage going into hotels. You know, they don't really get scanned and stuff. You might end up with some real, huh?

I mean, so that kind of, that ups the excitement. It makes it, that's a more real world. Like this little story that you go on in Star Wars is interesting. But the fact that you, that the ship could crash technically in Star Trek The Cruise. Yeah, there's a more of a risk factor. I guess that's why it's adults. Because, you know, it's a little bit more. Not that it's any more at risk of crashing than any cruise.

But just, you know but more than galactic star cruiser which is uh stationary right i would say i mean it would be fun if they had like phasers aboard the star trek cruise because that's sort of the the weapon like they have you know lightsabers on the on the star wars hotel well i saw some video and now i i'm sorry i can't remember which one it was, but I saw a video where like one of the character, it was a female character from one of the star movies and they hold up a very realistic looking. Right.

And now it's not coming to me if it's a phaser or a light saber. Do you remember? Because it looks very realistic, but just for a second, and then they put it down. Put it down and then pick up another one. And then they immediately pick up the other one. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a lightsaber. I think that was the Star Wars.

Not a phaser. Okay, okay. Yeah, that's not a phaser. I get them mixed up, so I wasn't sure. That's okay. You're not a big fan of either of the properties. I really am, which, again, sort of frees me up, I think, to judge it just on the merits of the stuff that that

happens um which on i mean on that level like do we want to bring up some specific yeah amenities stuff about and now we're still learning about crew because there's been sort of an embargo and but you know a lot has come out recently about the other about the star wars when star trek the cruiser sort of going off of like well if people even had the time to post youtube videos they're trying to relax and enjoy the we'll probably get a glut of star trek the cruise five content post saturday so it puts us in a tough position to to do the episode but we wanted it to be current and relevant yeah yeah because people are gonna be mad if we don't address star trek the cruise five yeah that's the big deal yeah yeah um but but we're we're doing what we can we're great and you know so and we're going off of like again we haven't

we haven't we haven't done it or wait we i mean i know we all haven't done star trek the crew you guys haven't done the star wars one right um no and um uh yeah we we were not invited to media stuff for that either and um no which is any that's fine it's an easier pill to swallow and um i i have to say uh you know uh if we want to discuss pros and cons the star trek cruise has any you know a number of different levels of room prices um and a lot more a lot of variety absolutely a lot of variety if you want a suite if you want an ocean view or an interior view um the uh star root wars i would describe as prohibitively expensive yeah yeah that seems correct i mean i think the other one the star trek one could be when you're looking like

you're seeing you know uh the high end of it maybe you're getting into into five figures but these are everything's in the thousands range yeah keep in mind that star trek is eight days seven nights as opposed to i couldn't believe when i saw it's only two days and two nights so you gotta except you gotta do that math and figure out like how if you're gonna be spending thousands of dollars what are you getting more vacation out of it It's great because that Star Trek cruise is just one day more than that Harrison Ford and Heche movie, Six Days, Seven Nights, which is just like you're getting an extra day there if you were kind of imagining that's your normal long vacation. Oh, yeah, right. I measure all my vacations by the Harrison Ford and Heche movie, Six Days, Seven Nights.

It's a good vacation amount. The actual runtime of that movie closer to star wars galactic star cruiser all right because just because it's yeah it's closer it doesn't go over that makes sense too because harrison ford's in star trek you're you've got it wrong yeah he's in god it's the second time he's in star wars but his character is only kind of passingly involved in this yeah kind of a big character kind of passingly involved in this. He's kind of a big character, kind of a beloved character. Oh, he's one of the big... Oh, Han Solo is it?

Han Solo, yeah. Han Solo and Princess Leia in story on this Star Wars hotel stayed on this galactic cruise ship. Oh, I heard about this. Okay, so Han and Leia fornicated at the hotel? Seems like they were honeymooning on the cruise after the Battle of Endor.

Does it say in the, do we know? Because is it in a piece of literature? It's in a book. A lot of these books. What's happened with the Star Wars stuff now is that whenever they do a new land or something or a new location, they have a book or a comic that fleshes out

sort of the backstory. It's come out that han and leia honeymooned on this pleasure cruise essentially they didn't go to like a like a place they they didn't go to like again like i feel like i was just saying you know where where the the italy the fake italy and attack of the clones? Yeah, Canto Bight is where you want to, that's like a pretty, they just, they were on a cruise together? Well, there's ports of call in theory.

But do we know, does it say that- Yeah, you don't want a vacation in Batuu. Yeah, but that's right. Does this only go to Batuu? How long has it been going? And have they changed places? Because there's definitely like, Cloud City is lovely, I would say uh canto bite lovely

there's a multiple like uh even just core i mean coruscant i guess they've been there more but there's got to be or naboo their naboo has beautiful sites you go underwater i'm sure there's like a luxury resort underwater with the gungans oh that'd be really cool living a little pod down there yeah so so they made it – so Han and Leia – I mean, Han, can you imagine him rolling his eyes when they got to Batuu? Like, oh, looks like a slightly better Tatooine. Good choice, Leia, darling. The missus wants to go on a cruise.

Scooty. I mean, they had to go back to work. Like, the Empire was falling apart. They probably were like, well, let's do a long weekend thing we'll do something longer in a couple years I guess we'll just do a mini moon probably like that gotta go to the Oga's

cantina with that loud ass music this fucking droid DJ won't shut the hell up call us I mean like The DJ won't shut the hell up. I love seeing Han and Leia's viral Halloween costumes. It is fun, and they always bring a couple of nice bottles of wine. They bring the party with them. He's holding, too.

He's definitely got some joints on him my costume doc on dar i'm fred flintstone this year they still have flintstone's halloween costumes and fred i'm fred we went a little crazy last year she She was a president from Air Force One, and I was Ally McBeal. David Blaine is with them one year. He's the dancing baby. David Blaine is the dancing baby. I mean, wardrobe costumes are a big part of both of these. That's something that star wars

kind of yeah you kind of borrow it i'll be nice and say borrowed from star trek here's what i would just i'd hate to go real quick go back to this so they've added some backstory to to star wars and that's good we like those characters this is where kylo ren was conceit you can be in a room and you can book that room and not know it. I'm in the room. This is where Kylo... There's blaster shots on the wall where Han shot his gun

accidentally. Woohoo! Yeah. Daddy's making a baby tonight. Here we go. I knew that one. That one was a good one. That one got through. I'm pretty positive about it.

I shot first. I want to say Kevin Smith's made that joke somewhere before, but I don't know that to be sure. I know not to be a fact. Did he say that? He probably didn't get to that. He yelled out McClunky? Oh, McClunky.

But I'll say this, you know, that sometimes having that much backstory is a little rigid as far as your imagination, you know, because like if we just know those are the characters, now we sort of, we are limited in what we're imagining actually happens. So, like, the Star Trek crew is like, you know, this is a place where Walter Koenig made love in one of the bathrooms. We don't know. You're not going character. You're going him. Well, I'm just saying we don't know. We can let our imaginations run wild. Yeah. That is true.

Yes. Robert Duncancneil from voyager who knows what he was up to and one of these cabins and our imagination can run wild you could say he's tom paris his character tom paris or the man himself we don't know and you can just play have fun yeah some of them some of that that's a big thing about the star trek cruise they the performers are there they're're there with you, you know? Yes, exactly. The actors are there. Yeah, that's something.

Yeah, we haven't talked that up. Now, this is no, it's not a convention. In fact, they make a point famously in their catchphrase saying it's an unconventional cruise. It was kind of a way to shake up the Star Trek convention that was becoming a bit conventional, but it still does have that element where every year

there's a big lineup of different Star Trek actors. It does not seem like Star Wars the crews can boast that. No, it doesn't seem like that at all and I don't think there's any plans at the moment because like... Well, there was a one minute video.

Oscar Isaac took a tour took a tour uh they got the message loud and clear maybe somebody from star wars not some guy from the goldbergs that that is right right maybe it'd be better to have somebody older brother remotely associated with the franchise but hear me out and i don't i don't want to be negative but i these are just these are ideas and this you know the star wars hotel can change so just like what if like uh the guy who played quark on deep space nine armin shimmerman is just wandering around the hotel for the weekends and while you're doing like or or you know like i'm like a guy like that for Star Wars. So who would you want?

What actor would you want to have wandering around in the Halcyon? What's JJ's bud? Greg Grunberg? Greg, yeah, he plays Snap Wexley, I believe, Scott. Oh, yeah. Greg Grunberg. Oh, even I knew that one, obviously. You knew Snap Wexley?

Snap Wexley, yeah. So Greg Grunberg, is that his last name? Am I saying it right? Grunberg, yeahreg grunberg is that his last name am i saying it right he's just wandering around you can meet you can hang with him and uh while the narrative is going on yeah and and it seems like the people who've committed to doing this they're either going to be good sports about it or they're setting up their cruising with the cruise director or whoever runs the events of like, hey, I'm not super, you know, I'd like a private thing. I'll do one or two things, but I don't want to do everything.

Yeah. So I just think, I understand they're trying to go for realism and immersion with the Star Wars. But as a kid, I always liked going to see, when I would be at a convention you would see and you probably have seen this before the men behind the masks tour now a lot of those guys were star wars actors and a lot of them have passed away at this point it would be peter mayhew it would be uh kenny baker who played r2d2 peter mayhew played chewbacca

it would be uh i'm trying to think um david prowse who was in the darth vader costume and jeremy bullock who played boba fett i think all four of these men are have passed away sadly be, I'm trying to think, David Prowse, who was in the Darth Vader costume, and Jeremy Bullock, who played Boba Fett. I think all four of these men have passed away, sadly. Jeremy Bullock I did meet at one of the early Star Wars weekends and got a signed headshot. If you both let me, I will be able to say, I think,

all the names I've ever known in my head at this moment. You mean right now? Right now, I'll keep rattling through. The cast of Voyager, the cast of steve space nine if you let me go because i was never great with names but the last couple years have made me very bad with names not just actors names like people i know in real life names for sure yeah uh but i will not forget david prowse that is not a name i will forget one of those names you just mentioned he wasn wasn't available, I don't think, in 2022,

but 2023, Star Trek The Cruise. Look who's showing up. It's Armin Shimmerman. Armin! He's going to be there. Not to mention, if I just give you the initials of the other, it's a Ferengi, right? Max G. Oh, he played Nog, right?

What's the full name, though? Oh, shoot. Yes, I do. Oh, I'm so sorry oh no sorry i didn't mean to put you on the spot oh god you can make it up if you know the other there's another here's a somebody named uh it's it's like a name you'd call a grandma and then it's and then v is the initial nana visitor yeah there you go she was on deep space nine she's gonna be there too next year that's great she's great um i will say this scott uh to bring back something you really like when i talk about

in this show i watched the wallace shawn play sitting in a row in front of armin shimmerman he was part of that he was part of that we're back there because yes fabled night andre gregory of course from my dinner with Andre, directed a play, Wallace Shawn wrote, and we saw it. And Armin played a Ferengi on Deep Space Nine. Wallace Shawn was a guest star as a Ferengi on Deep Space Nine. So two Ferengis, they were supporting each other. It was lovely.

And I was like, oh my God, Andre Gregory's right behind me? And Armin Shimmerman is right behind me. Was Brent Spiner there too? Brent Spiner was not there. But I thank you for bringing Brent Spiner up, because if you ever wanted to see Brent Spiner croon, a Star Trek cruise is the place to do it. Well, next year, that was a big announcement.

We're covering all the big announcements for next year's. On the cruise this year, they said he's not here this year, but 2023, Brent Spiner is going to be there. Do you think he's crooning? Well, I have, I saw a highlight reel of 2019 screws and he was crooning. Wow. Brent Spiner was crooning.

I'm a huge Brent Spiner fan, Brent Spiner. And this is the thing I've been wanting to bring up on this podcast for months. Now, Brent Spiner has an old standards album that he made 25 years ago called Old Yellow Eyes Is Back, which is a joke about data. I think you send me the cover to Old Yellow Eyes Is Back once a year. That is incorrect.

This feels familiar. It does, because I sent it to you guys once. This has only happened once at least. But yes, there's a cover of, I guess, some of the same songs like Seth MacFarlane has sung on an album. There's only so many of these. We all know there were only 24 songs written before 1949. Exactly. So there's only so many that everybody has to work from.

If you're into this music, yeah, and you want to sing, you sing the same 20 to 40 songs. Now, Jason knows at least half of these i feel like you eventually will come out with a crooning album i mean you have to sing you know you're gonna sing the old ones yeah you know that sheridan will sing the old ones but but brent spiner seems to be crooning on this cruise and we've talked a lot about my different uh favorite brent spiner things including his character in out to see the uh we have i think so you've on this show talked about brent spiner's character and out

to see i think i have i guess i was out to see you when you were saying it what's funny about when you got upset about the wallace shaw anecdote is that there's some things that i think i've repeated before that you haven't reacted angrily to and then there was that anecdote which i go oh did i say that a lot so now i never know i think i just re-listened to the episode like several days prior so i was like we're back in this we're telling the ryan perez telling a story about two nice men saying oh nice say good nice and fringy and nice so i assume i brought up brent spiner's character on out to sea because he plays a snooty cruise director and i brought him up when I watched Master of Disguise

because he's the bad guy in that. Exactly. He's the bad guy in both of those movies and he gets to goof around with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon

in one of their last bad movies. But it's enjoyable. I don't mean to even put it down that much but, you know, it's not maybe as good as The Odd Couple.

Well, I think this, as opposed to other stories where I have reacted Couple. Well, I think this, as opposed to other stories where I have reacted to their repetition, I think you could keep mentioning Brent Spiner on Out to Sea as much as you want, because I think I'll probably forget about this one immediately. Or you'll go and- What else about him?

What is he doing out to sea? He's kind of doing an English accent. He's like, he doesn't like these older men and their antics on the cruise. Like that's the whole vibe. And then he croons in that movie as well. He sings as well. But it is a funny scene.

He's like being, he's being funny on purpose. But he does get to sing in that movie too. So I always, I do legitimately like it when an actor is like, becomes famous. And then they go, oh, now's my chance. And you'd like to imagine that maybe they read a script, and they go, we'd like you to do the script. And they go, can I sing? Am I allowed to sing?

And I don't know that that's what happened, but out to sea, he just gives a very old school, cartoonish, snooty guy performance. Like an old movie. Yes. Like somebody reacting to the Marx Brothers or something. Exactly. And, you know, especially when I was a kid.

Because I, as a kid, was Data my favorite character? Yes, for sure. So, I mean, I liked the X-Men too, but I was fascinated with Data. I love Data. I don't know exactly why. America loved Data. I'm not special, but... Well, because he was like the fish out of water. The fish out of water. He's funny know exactly why. America loved Data. I'm not special.

Well, because he was like the fish out of water. The fish out of water. He's funny, but also he's cool. He could take a beating. You could shoot him and it wouldn't matter. He's like Superman. His head, half of it could come off, and he was like a cyborg underneath.

I was obsessed with that. Did he teach you how to date? Remember when he gets a girlfriend, briefly? Well, he has sex with denise crosby in the second season also a guest on next year's star trek she's on a lot i think she's there this year she's always yeah she's great there's a video on the main star trek cruise website where she is talking about how great the cruise is and she's in like an empty dining cabin she's got a giant martini and it's just like this looks like the best vibe the vibes are very good they're very good very good on this and i may have turned around my opinion on cruises because i was like oh cruises are a little much by far if whoever is running this cruise, if they catch wind of this, we want to go.

We want to go. It is, of course, the people running it, Entertainment Cruise Productions. Of course. Yeah. As opposed to the other one, which was kind of put together by Walt Disney Imagineering is the name of that company. Okay. So two titans in the industry. Right, right.

And just trying to do the best they can. But I think we, you know, we know who's winning, but they've been at it for longer. They've been doing it since 2017. The Star Trek Hotel, again, room to grow, okay? So, like, they'll maybe get there in three or four or five years. Yeah. As far as, like, getting exactly what we want.

If we're being, we're not being negative. We're just saying. Yeah, because I saw, like, you you know touring plans covers like everything and so they were there you know they they were there the first day you know paying guests were there and one of the things they said it's like all right you're starting to get a little tired doing all this stuff uh also notice that are there are some you know obviously some star wars super fans here and then there are the you know people with the star wars super fans they've kind of banded together like they're they're not as as into this so it might not be as rewarding for them compare that to the star trek cruise you're on the royal caribbean navigator to the sea of course there's any number of uh

vacation options you know right restaurants bars, yes. Restaurants, bars. There's a splash pad and pool, of course. Do you think we could get a land test ahead of touring plans to send one of us on the ship to count the amount of people that come out of a, like, I don't know, James Doohan's son photo op or something? Well, they've got to have a dedicated Star Trek The cruise guy already

right i mean if not i would be happy to take it but well we're gonna be fighting me for it if you want if you want to be the official touring plan star trek the cruise guy because that's a sought after job i guess we are all well uh let's all just let's all go there and let's see who gets to that on-cruise gun first. Who can run the fastest? I will be at the on-cruise Ben & Jerry's. Additional payments may apply. I mean, the nice thing about the Star Trek cruise is you can kind of customize it. Like all cruises, breakfast, lunch, and dinner in a dining room, you know,

and then there's different snack bars and stuff the main dining room yeah yeah um well that's kind of the that's the situation i'd say with yeah let's let's talk about food as an area that's a big area in a cruise you want that that all to be good um in in in the star wars cruise there's also like a main dining room called crown of cordelia um and then there's a there's a bar called the sublight lounge so you get like fun space cocktails there that's so that's cool now you go to the other side of things you go to star trek the cruise you got oh yeah your main dining room of course so they're matched there but then it keeps going and going because they've got the wind jammer marketplace and your

options there are unlimited they're running the gamut from crispy buttermilk fried chicken to vietnamese braised pork and the other one the sense that i got from star wars is that they made up the food it's all this yip yip kind of stuff yeah this is like i know what fried chicken is i know what vietnamese braised pork is like right and it seems like that doesn't even cover uh two percent of it yeah there's a lot of effort on the star wars one to be like this is something strange food but it's like really when you're tired at the end of the day don't you just want something you know don't you want something you're familiar with yeah or if you're fresh on the boat excited for a cruise don't you want something you know at any hour of the day i think this i think this uh with this lineup of classics from all around the world you can't miss well yeah maybe

you just want to go to the johnny rockets express which is uh in between chops grill and a splash pad you know sometimes you just want some reliable right next to the splash pad what's a splash pad it's like a water play area for children. Oh, wow. That's fun. I mean, 12 and up. For this cruise. For this cruise, I guess. But would it be open for the adults?

In this case, it's the getting sloshed pad. Yeah. I mean, you can feel like a kid on a cruise ship, or you can feel like adult, and you can go to the Casino Royale. And, you know, that had my attention. Well, that's a classy phrase. Yeah, I mean, point against the Star Wars Hotel, there is no casino gambling. And, like, look, say what you will,

I could make the argument, maybe, that casino gambling, more ethical than the stock market and cryptocurrency combined. So there's nothing more honest than lady luck even if the house always wins uh amen and you know and it gives you an opportunity to maybe come out ahead maybe you leave the cruise with money in your pocket as opposed to the star wars thing which people seem to be not happy with the cost on if they gave you that that chance they do seem to have some games and stuff but you're not there's no money it's maybe a credit or something so that's a decent decent

idea for a plus up if there was a way to win your money back on the star wars hotel experience if like yes if maybe you yeah let's see because there's like the lightsaber training I've seen. And like, there's a control room. It's like, maybe if you do something, you can win your six grand back. Like you can double or nothing it, I guess. That would be good. Yeah. I mean, if you had that opportunity, let's even take it out of the cruise. And if they, if Millennium Falcon, if you could make money, this, I've complained about

like, not what is up with the uh um you know the coaxium just make if you just tell me it's dollars now we're in we're going after a big crate of dollars you get to keep it if you do a good job suddenly i'm way more motivated to do well flying that thing i'm gonna be the best engineer you ever seen if you do well and you got six thousand dollars from the Millennium Falcon ride, I think that's, they don't even need another level. Can you imagine how much more fun it would be? I mean, it would be more stressful

I guess, but it would be, you would be really yelling like a grandma who didn't know how to fly. Oh, you got a group of five and then there's one person and you're nice at first, like, oh, you should, we should let you do the jump to light speed because you never, okay, have fun fun come on grandma hit it hit it punch it this is my last i used all my last money on this this vacation i need it back

you don't have to worry about that if you're just chilling at the lime and coconut on the now which one's that huh that's the navigator in the sea oh that's the that's the start like an island themed bar oh that sounds really nice yeah well and you got jamie's italian from jamie oliver and uh wait wait jamie oliver has a place on this yeah there's a celebrity restaurant like the you know uh restaurant oh and it's full like a full it's got everything got everything? Or is it just a specific type of food? It's Italian. Okay.

Yeah, Jamie's Italian. Jamie Oliver brings his unique flavor sensibility to the seas. I thought it was maybe Italian ice, but I think I just have Mike Gambuzo on the brain. Oh, you got Gambuzo on the mind. Yeah, that's what I was confused about. For some reason, when I hear Italian, I don't think Italian food, which is the most common way to refer to a bunch of food uh i thought italian ice that's what the italians now they make food now too i thought i just knew them for their ice somebody's like oh what do you uh oh yeah do you want to get italian tonight i go italian ice for dinner what it doesn't make any sense

um hey and jason this is uh they this vessel makes history because they have the first ever food truck at sea for gourmet hot dogs. That's the Bumrock Dog House. Oh, gourmet hot dogs. I take my between $2,000 and $5,000, depending on the size of the stateroom, now. And those rooms, by the way, my sense is that you have a choice of that you know you got to pay more on a ship most often you're not really getting a window if you're paying if you're going a little cheaper but you pay a little more maybe you go in with some people and maybe you are getting a window it is positive or or even like a even a deck if you really uh spring for it

is there such an option on star wars galactic Star Cruiser? You know, I don't know because there are different sized rooms. The majority of the rooms appear to be the one with just the bed with the two bunk beds and then with the prison cot that folds out. Yeah. But I think there is a bigger room, but I haven't seen a video of it. There are bigger rooms. I haven't seen, yeah, I haven't seen

any. But I don't think it's much bigger. I don't think it's much bigger. Seems like a miss on their part that they're like this is a galactic cruise luxury cruise ship yeah a lot of it seems um very utilitarian like replicating places that george lucas and production designers were like it's unfortunate these characters have to live and work in these spaces during a time of galactic strife. But like, yeah, the luxury suite should be like Padme's room in the prequels or something. Like this big expansive room.

The one where Anakin jumps out. I think it's on Coruscant. Where they're like a little spy drone and Anakin jumps out the window at it. And they're flying through the streets. You know what I'm talking about. I guess it wouldn't fit with the story. Because in theory, you poke outside and you're flying through the streets you know what i'm talking about i guess it wouldn't fit with the story because you're like in theory you poke outside you're just right in space you're in the suction well right yeah i guess yeah you wouldn't see the sights and sounds of coruscant but it might be the it might be the size and it might be the like window size you know i mean

yeah when you're when you free yourself of all this and when you're on a cruise where the story is you're on a cruise, then you get to just breathe in the sea air. Here's a missed opportunity, I feel. And this is as serious as I can be. There should be a piece of cruise entertainment that is similar to the piece of, like, whatever you would call it, entertainment that Sidious sidious and anakin are watching when he gives him the darth plagueis speech the attack of the clones yeah the opera thing when he tells him about his master who um who taught him basically everything he knew and

then he killed him there's no blobs there's no blob fun there's no blob entertainment on the halcyon yeah i mean there's an original character there's like a dj kind of character and it seems like a very elaborate suit where the like the mouth and the ear kind of things wiggle yeah but there should be like 20 of those like there's yeah it seems like there's like five characters five kind of alien characters. Whereas the amount of aliens present on Star Trek The Cruise is dependent on the guests and how elaborate do you want your costumes to be. So it's really up to you.

You get out of it what you put into it. And with that crew, I think you're getting tons of creatures. I think you're looking out at a party that's like nothing but rubber masks and weird multiple eyes and scales. It is hard to tell, and I mean this in the best way. It is hard to tell who is paid to be in an outfit and who is not on the Star Trek cruise.

If you look at all the videos, you so many times. So there's a fairly famous character, the Gorn, for instance, that was in the original Star Trek, which is a big, green, dumb-looking rubber outfit. Some character Kirk fights who's like a lizard. One of the few Star Trek toys I had as a child. Really? An unposable PVC to reinstall Gorn. Probably from King's Dominion.

Okay, cool. That's the one that they have that really dopey, slow rock fight, right? Yes, exactly. Esk as rocks. Yes, it's really funny it's really i mean that in the best way yeah uh yeah so the gorn now the gorn you look at all the videos i swear the gorn is in every other shot and i don't know if it's a person dressed up as the gorn or some official star trek cruise um person wearing an official Gorn outfit. It doesn't matter to me.

I love the idea that the costumes are on equal footing from the official cruise maker to just some guy who has it founded at a costume shop. There is so much Gorn representation. You'd think he was the assistant cruise director. And he seems like he's having a ball. Every shot, yeah, he's working the camera. He's in a Hawaiian shirt sometimes. He wears different outfits.

There's Gorn in a toga. There's Gorn in a Hawaiian shirt. It may be the same Gorn. It may be different. I do not know, but I love it that you can be completely confused as to who actually works for the cruise and who doesn't.

Gorn's toga party is like one of the big thematic event like that is one of the big i think it's z one right there's there's a whole section on the website of of theme nights and you got to think they're saving the best for last because the the visual and we'll post this but the visual of gorn's toga party where he is in rome he's in a toga and he's got a big barrel of beer. Most bubbly beer. Most like Simpsons cartoon beer. And he is having a blast.

The literature, the copy on this, well, you know, the Gorn is a staple of Star Trek The Cruise. Exactly what you're saying. And we pretty much let him do whatever he wants as long as none of us want to recreate the infamous arena battle. He hosts parties, formal nights, DJ sets.

And this time, this is for 2022, he's taking us to a Pollux 4-style world for Gorn's toga party. All species are invited, from Vulcan Zeus to Andorian Aphrodite or even Ferengi Apollo sporting a latinum laurel crown this whether you want to make a custom federation style toga and science officer blue or simply turn your sheets into chic this party will please gods and mortals alike so i mean one sounds great and this is we've talked about this before you know when disney bought star wars you know it was the end of something that at least jason and i like, the hyperspace hoopla.

Yes. Where you would get like Darth Maul twerking. Now, Darth Maul is not going to twerk on the Halcyon, but I'll tell you this, the Gorn will twerk 24 fucking seven. That is, it doesn't matter. No one's going to come around and say, you know what? In the Star Trek guidebook, Gorn does not twerk. This is off story. Yeah. No, no, no. You can get, you know what? In the Star Trek guidebook, Gorn does not twerk. This is off story. Yeah, no, no, no.

You can get, Gorn will do whatever you want. Whatever you want, just don't talk to him before he's had a coffee and a mimosa. Hair of the dog and something to wake you up. Whoever's in the Gorn suit does not break character for those five days, I think. You are Gorn for five days. It's an incredible amount of immersion. And these actors, you have to really give them credit because the Gorn is committed to being the Gorn for eight days.

And that's a long time. So my salute to the, the perhaps multiple actors playing the Gorn. And I like that. They encourage you to just take your own bed sheets and just, and that's your costume for this thing. They don't, it's not all about who spent the most money

to look the best in this thing. Because it's my, Jason, you were sending us some stuff that implies that if you want to really toe the party line and get Disney's full idea of what a costume would be, you're spending hundreds more dollars

as opposed to just like, we gave you a costume. It's in your room. It's called the sheets. Yeah, that's a big jump from like, okay, go to Shop Disney. So you can buy exclusive apparel. Now you have to show you have a room reservation for this event before you can buy. You booked it for the privilege right the privilege within 30 minutes

within and it goes all the way down to like i believe i sent short gloves and long gloves there's a few dollar fluctuation there but i'm like you can buy gloves with a tiny little ship logo on them but then i found a cosplay website where 250 bucks first off everything was on sale on the star wars page of the cosplay website so i have to think they were like i'm like the thing's opening um you for 250 bucks you could have a full poe dameron or a full cassian on door get up like jacket shirt pants Jacket, shirt, pants, belt, shoes, stirrups, the whole kit and caboodle. Stirrups, you say? Stirrups.

Yeah, that would be my recommendation is make your own or support your local cosplay company because they're probably giving you a better deal and using better materials and putting love in those costumes you know yeah yeah there are a lot of yeah star trek twitter people i see who just have i think look what look to be homemade star trek costumes already they wear in their day-to-day life so whoever to work they might wear it to work i think i was just talking about uh you know like the star like you see video of like the star trek dentist who made his whole like office look like the bridge of one of the ships.

And he's wearing that outfit to work. I mean, he has multiple outfits. He has the dress uniform. He has the sort of relaxed sort of captain's outfits. You know, there's many different outfits that the captains wear. Well, yeah, he's got to have a few. He might get gum blood on his inside uniform. What?

Gum blood? Yeah, you know, blood from the gums spurts out of a gun which i'm trying to you know hold on let's think real quick what outfit is the best which captain's outfit is the best for blood so it doesn't show up i guess maybe like the first contact star trek the next generation outfits which are sort of darker with a gray at the top or do you just want red so it blends in or do you want the maybe yeah the classic yeah uniforms or or the first uh the next generation outfits like with because the captain is wears red uh a next generation kind

of a maroon but then also yeah but also of course there's a joke of the the red shirts yes the original Star Trek. Scott, I don't know if you're familiar with this. This is basically like if you're watching an old Star Trek, there would be like, you know, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are going down on the ship. And then they're joined by two guys you've never seen before wearing red shirts. They always die. They're always going to get killed.

So probably don't want to wear those shirts on the cruise. You might bring the vibes down. Yeah. Or they're the craziest ones on the cruise. Oh they have nothing to lose they have nothing to lose yeah i might not come back on shore from mazatlan that joke jason if you if you got like a red shirt and like it was like battle damage or something you would be the hit of the party because people would be like this joke is fucking funny well he might win Q's costume party, one of the other events. And this is not like, I take it that it seems like it's not Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver

doing the show every day on Galactic Star Cruiser. I think it's other actors. But in this case, it's John Delancey, who I assume is the real Q. Yes. Not Q and non-Q. No, not Q and non-Q. Well, maybe. That'd be a great way to discuss.

You'd never expect that. There's no way he'd be both Qs. You would be very surprised, I think, to learn that. It's John Delancey. But Q, and you can tell me what Q is, obviously, but this says he's appeared to us as everything from a Franciscan monk, an interstellar judge, a 16th century sea captain, and an Aldebaran

serpent. So he's the only choice to host this costume party. He's a shapeshifter. He basically, yeah, he's like, I'm trying to think of a good parallel character where he can do almost anything, really. He's a troublemaker. He's almost like a Loki type, I would say.

Yeah. If you've ever seen. He shows up a couple times, maybe only like once a season on Next Generation. But yeah, he's got a twinkle in his eye and he's always up to antics. So then, yeah, you get to, in one of the videos, John DeLancey, who plays Q, is talking.

He's a lot. Jason, you watched the samey who plays q is talk he's a lot jason now you watch the same video he's in the like promo video a lot he's a very like kind of gregarious person in real life it feels like so he's talking about how the party has grown over the years so now he's now because they've done this a couple years and now he says it's like full it used to not be full but apparently the Star Trek cruise only grows in popularity every year. So he's now saying he's basically standing there as a king, a king among among regular people at this Q costume party. So, you know, I assume that you're seeing truly the widest range of costumes possible, probably in Star Trek inspired. But maybe even not, maybe just like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.

That would be fun. Although it wouldn't be out of the question that there would be a Star Trek Next Generation episode where they all dress as the Wizard of Oz characters. That's the type of fun you have on Star Trek.

Yeah, because there's like holodeck night, there's mirror universe night. There's all sorts of nights. There's, yeah, the roaring holodeck night. The roaring, some of them in pinstriripe suits like gangsters and flappers get your tommy guns oiled there are pictures it says that on the website there's the pictures uh uh and i'm oh man

everyone's gonna be mad at me i'm blanking on the name of the episode it's very famous episode of the original star trek where they're uh they go back in time to gangster times. And Kirk and Spock are in pinstripes. Is it like mirror or shattered something? I'll look it up. I should just edit this out to make myself sound smarter. But they're using that photo. First of all, by the way, is this cruise licensed officially?

Do we know? It seems like it is. Yeah, yeah. Yes, I think so so but i don't think they're exactly running it through the filter that's really my they aren't like sending this to the roddenberry family you know as opposed to like the you know the lucasfilm yeah uh story people would uh yes i think that's absolutely right because there's there are gatekeepers with any of these ip things uh and recently in the last couple years there was all the talk of

you know quentin tarantino is doing star trek or what he's got an idea for star trek and the guy who wrote the revenant was going to write or script or maybe he did already um but then that's not happening and i was looking at some quotes and it's like rod roddenberry was like you know i'm i think i'm a traditionalist when it comes to star trek so i don't know if that really would have worked or not and you're like oh shut up like why can't we get a fun yeah no i was i didn't mind hearing that because of if like if tarantino is only doing a few more movies i kind of don't want one of them to be a star i hear i agree with that, but I'm just saying, like, have some fun. Like, come on.

Yeah, yeah. It's better for them than it is for... Yeah, yeah. A little bit of Tarantino flavor. I mean, Tarantino has directed TV. He's directing some Justified episodes coming, so he can work within, you know... Well, he can cheat the 10 rule or whatever a little bit.

Like, well, this is IP or whatever. But my point is I do think there's still, like, even, like, we know Star Wars is is very they're very careful about everything star trek 2 has like people that are like worried sure that something's going to fall off but rod is not rod is asleep when it comes to the programming on the star trek cruise he's not looking at this art with the the with the spock in with a tommy gun and then like two great Gatsby babes colored blue and green.

He's not approving this artwork. This looks cheap and fake in the best way. Yes. They put up a sign that I guess it's the Casino Royale but they put up a sign that said Quark's Casino like it was hand scrawled and stuff. Right. Handwritten done with love.

And that's what we like about this experience. And you gotta imagine that's also the case for Risa's Festival of the Moon party. Yes. Did I say the name right? I believe so, yeah. Yeah, well, it's the tribute to the twin sun pleasure planet.

And it's a party with cool rhythms and good vibes and casual dress and they're all swingers parties every single one of these is a swingers party this also involves it seems to involve a lot of mardi gras beads and then like i've i actually went down a rabbit hole during deep quarantine of like that uh theme cruises were trying to stay afloat with youtube channels and virtual events so i was going through a bunch of like you know what is yeah well what is this you know this music cruise or whatever they all do 70s night no matter what with the broadest just like big afro wig and john travolta suit. If you're going on a cruise of any kind, even if

it's Star Trek, even if it was like a sea pack at sea, if it was some scary conservative white nationalist thing, it would still be like, and it's 70s night. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Only the most obvious songs from

the 70s will play all six and then repeat them. And it's so popular every time. And people are so happy. They're all so much happier at it than I am complaining about it. Yes, that is. Look, it just works. Some things work. And that works every time.

But I like combining. I like that it's roaring 20s via star trek i like that it's 70s boogie oogie via right star trek this is great we got as many premises as possible as opposed to galactic star cruiser which only stays with the one stays with the one and they have the song themselves you know yeah i mean know? Yeah. I mean, it's just, yeah, it should be different themes every night. That's what I think. And obviously, it's only a short stay. So two different themes.

Yeah, it's a short stay. I mean, the cast members in the act, everyone seems to be getting high marks for what they're doing. Yeah, everybody seems great. They've hired really great actors in Orlando. Yeah. But like if you sit at the captain's table at the Star Trek cruise, you're sitting at the table

with a captain of a giant cruise ship. JT? Huh? JT? No, he's the cruise director. Don't be ridiculous. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, not the captain.

But I mean, there is a captain's table add-on for the star wars galactic star cruiser and you you know let's call it what you're sitting at the table with an improv actor in grease paint you know kind of different this is a seafaring right you're saying you you're saying honestly you'd rather sit and learn from a real cruise captain i i've already had enough meals with improv actors and still have grease paint on them. Yeah. Or I've been the improv actor in grease paint.

You want to learn from like an ex-Navy man finally. Yes. Because you get to break out your sailor suit. Well, yeah. And I think you could do, I'm sure you could wear a sailor suit to any one of these theme nights and it would be, you know, on trend. I'm surprised you weren wear a sailor suit to any one of these theme nights and it would be

you know i'm surprised you weren't more of a star trek little boy you know i just it i caught it you know i watched the original series in syndication a lot uh and then i would catch next generation every now and then i had a couple toys but yeah no i i was only had a passing interest in star trek there but there's like so much like dumb old-timey stuff on there i know like in star trek shocking star trek 9 they like break data out of like a evil spell he's under by singing some gilbert and sullivan song oh well you know it's a major motion picture in the year like 2000 or 99 or something like this all been ready for a knockdown blow like this is the first 10 minutes of like a major movie major release in the late 90s yeah and i'm watching this going this is awesome hey don't forget about that one where wharf joins the dorsey brothers

he's a buggy woogie bugle boy from company b there's they do their in star trek generations they are they're uh uh wharf gets a promotion essentially well learned so how they do it is they go on the holodeck and they all put on like horatio hornblower outfits and they're on the like a real old time ship wow and they all put on Horatio Hornblower outfits and they're on a real old-time ship. Wow. And they do the ceremony like they're all at olden days, basically. It's some of the funniest, greatest, lamest stuff. And I mean that in the best way.

No wonder that actual seafaring has always been a part of Star Trek. And so no wonder they kept it alive with this, with great destinations. That's the other thing. Hey, look, you go to Batuu. We know Batuu. We've been to Batuu. You get on this boat, you go to St. Thomas, you go to Blackbeard's Castle.

You go snorkeling. Blackbeard's Castle? Yeah, imagine what treasures await in Blackbeard's Castle. There's certain stops where you can go zip lining i mean these these just aren't you know you go to you get off at batu and you get a meal voucher and you go get in line at docking bay seven go get some yip yip and then hey back in the the boat that doesn't go anywhere well now that's a fun thing i discovered so because there's always buffet breakfast and lunch on the boat you do get a meal voucher that can be used at Talking Day 7

or any quick service location at Dizzy's Hollywood Studios. So you can jump ship. You can go off planet, go to Pizza Rizzo, go to Woody's Lunchbox. Is that confirmed? They'll let you out? That is confirmed. Really? That is confirmed that it works at any quick service.

You can go to Fair Fact Fair and get a big greasy hot dog. That feels like it breaks the reality. It does. But what are they going to do? Put a collar on you? And if you go outside of the confines, they'd shock you. Then you're like a shopping cart. They shut you down if you try to go out of the lot.

I think, yeah, they should have something where they shut your phone down. Or like the shoes they gave you don't work. They give you all special shoes when you get onto the hotel floor like vibra they like they make your feet go numb so you can't walk anymore that's a possibility maybe they release a fluid a numbing agent that could be i was just gonna think like spikes in the shoe that shoot into the ground and like stuff like you get stuck there oh sure yeah yeah yeah they well you know michael jackson did the smooth criminal illusion be via little pegs in the floor like right the shoe would detect so maybe if they've they could have thought of this and outfitted galaxy's edge with uh spikes and rods everywhere that they can suddenly spring up to stop anybody

who's uh trying to go to woody's munch box or whatever what is munch box yeah i did what's it called woody's lunch but like it's like an actual lunch box i say oh it is a big lunch box so the other my big question which i did finally get answered uh where can you smoke a cigarette and the answer is you have to take the elevator back on in the star wars you have to go back to earth you have to go back to earth you have to take a theme thematic elevator to go blast a vape plume you have to go wait you have to go all the way back there there's not just a smoking area and so there's a climate simulator that simulates the climate of batu florida which is hang on which is a room that is outside a little patio outside a little terrace outside it's a little mini it looks like a little zen garden yeah that's a good way

to put it looks like where my dog pees at lax yeah that's a good way to put it so you can't smoke in there it's too close to any of the entrances and stuff so you have to go back to the port cochet to you know, hit your mango vape. But also, like, it's like, well, nicotine addiction doesn't really work that. Like, you can't just put it on hold for two days. Does the, like, narrative siren go off if you try to vape in one of the rooms? That's a good question, yeah. You probably could get away with a little bit.

I'm not saying try. Because a lot of hotels have changed their no smoking little placard to no smoking, no vaping. Right. No marijuana. Like some of the Vegas hotels have all three. Can you vape in the little panic room? Hotbox the panic room. That's a good question. They might put the Earth's Fire Department will come and you will get charged for it.

It's a division of the rebellion called the Reedy Creek Hook and Ladder. For lower level crises, they do make the fire department stay in character. If it's a major thing, yeah, they're the fire department. But they will stay in character for like a low level. For a trash can fire.

For a trash can fire. They all have characters. Oh, Kylo Ren said this. but they will stay in character for like a low level. For a trash can fire. For a trash can fire. They all have characters. Oh, Kylo Ren said this. Cursed that First Order. Oh, yeah. He said it with his mind. Hey, that's the bed where his parents made him.

Do you think he got a weird Force sensation when he came back on the Halcyon? It's like, I've been here before, in a way. I've been here before. I can sense it. Where my spark of life first sparked. Spark of life first happened here. I was here once, but just

a spooge. Dialogue that was cut from the end of the finale. Here's a compare contrast area that i would like to hit and that is the range of musical entertainment on board yes both vessels um because this is something we got a preview of very early on in the video with the goldbergs guy we got to meet gaia in one of the strangest scenes ever filmed where a woman is like and you're gonna meet this singer and then she walks away and trails off and she gets quieter and quieter as she's explaining the thing that's behind the door that she's walking away from

and then the guy the actor just walks in there's a specific detail like and suddenly a singer appears out of nowhere and that's something i'm about, if that's an important aspect of it. Do they actually appear? Does Gaia appear out of nowhere, or does that mean that a spotlight turns on? No, okay, so in storyline, I believe Gaia missed the boat and they have to go pick her up.

But I don't think it's like a rise out of the floor. I think they walk through the crowd. Okay, so she still appears out of nowhere. It's like a rise out of the floor. I think they walk through the crowd. Okay, so she's still, by appears out of nowhere, it's like if the performer comes from the audience instead of the, it's like if Rodney Dangerfield shakes hands from the back on the way up. They first appear out of nowhere, like when they're in the atrium,

the main area or something. All right, well, if Gaia appears out of nowhere, then that sounds cool, and then the initial video was accurate. But the point is, there's this singer, Gaia, with a DJ. The DJ's name is Uwani, who is a lizard of some kind, who speaks huddies and now this this seems fun from quick videos i've seen um i don't really know the ins and outs of of the show um but you know seems like some fun dinner entertainment whatever um but does it can can gaia compare to the star trek the cruise in-house band uh band 47 47 is a big that's a big thing in star trek uh like that that numbers in star trek a lot does that sound familiar vaguely honestly that's uh yeah i don't know is that a department or something on the show there's multiple uh uh

references to it it seems to be some sort of easter egg thing that 47 is in there a lot anyway band 47's masterful mix of rock pop r&b funk and klingon opera okay not really keeps everyone on the dance floor spinning like positive ions in a dilithium powered intermix chamber so band 47 is bringing the heat every night and I've heard a little bit of the guy music And it seems alright But I don't know if it compares to Band 47's original song Which seems to be called Star Trek Cruise that's a little princess yeah great and then it's and this is over footage of the most revelry and then again you know and

disco wigs and everything um it's a heck of a song i love it uh uh there's a part in the video one of the video you can see on the website where john delancey's talking about his favorite things also on the ship and he said his favorite things are seeing star trek actors get to do other stuff and they flash to like i don't think they flash to brent sminer singing but they flash to uh the guy who played Tuvok on Star Trek Voyager with his own band, Tim Russ. So he gets to play. So there's such a wide variety of music.

You have that band, and then you have maybe whoever's musical on Star Trek. They show up and do songs too, because I even saw Ethan Phillips and some of the other actors. Ethan Phillips was Neelix on Voyager. They're doing a four man acapella group Dapper Dan? Exactly so like the range

the variety is there you get to whatever your flavor is well and look I hope you didn't get your fill of crooning from Star Trek cast members before because I found out something now regrettably i don't know if this is ever going to happen again this was a thing from

the first voyage uh from the 2017 cruise um but uh there was a very special performance from somebody who uh only made one appearance but made their mark and is still a part of the star trek family they were on a season two episode of star trek the next generation playing a character called the comic do you know who i'm talking about mike you're talking about mr joe piscopo joe piscopo did a full uh i think multiple sets a night with his swinging big band on the maiden voyage and start on star trek the cruise one yes uh with his band the pearls um it's a it's a hell of a set uh and the entire thing i'm making my way i got about halfway through i'm making my way through it i did the one part that was pulled out specifically i think is worth uh playing and i think what should i say what's the funny way to

reveal this i it's he's kind of like uh well first of all he does like a little bit of like trump material that could work for anybody of course yeah which is like oh did we like trump here uh yeah i think so you know they look the guys it's wild having him as president right you know you got you know the guys you see an f-15 with his face on the side you know he's dropping bombs you know they're made out of gold gold bombs anyway but you gotta have it you gotta have trump and uh it's great and uh you know what my father was a member of the military actually and oh great big applause for that now can i have all the members of the military stand up here all right great so he he gets his military heartstrings pulled. And then he's talking about his love for this country and for America.

And I love America, but sometimes that star-spangled banner, that doesn't always have the kick that you want to it. Oh, no. Can you imagine if... Uh-oh. Can you imagine if... Anyone want to guess where this is going? I'm going to guess instead of, oh, say, can you see? He says, oh, ring-a-ding-ding.

That's a pretty good guess. No, it's just the regular. What if the Star Spangled Banner was sung by old Blue Eyes by Frank Sinatra? Oh, say, can you see by that dawn's early light? Hold on, hold on. Isn't there probably actual footage of Frank Sinatra singing the Star Spangled Banner? I don't wonder. I don't know if he did. That feels like an event that happened.

Yeah, you would think. He could have. Yeah, I guess that's not the... That isn't like some premise of like, what if Frank Sinatra sang Gin and Juice? That's not like

where it would never have happened. Like, it's very possible he may have sung the Star Spangled... That's not the most outer space premise. Anyway, that being said, I love this.

I love this, obviously, and I love every bit of the Star Trek The Cruise. Then he does a big medley outer space premise anyway that being said i love this i love this obviously and i love every bit of the start star trek the cruise uh um then he does a big uh medley of johnny cash songs walk the line turns into fulsome prison blues which then at some point turns into cotton eye joe what i'm not sure this is just his hat. He didn't like tailor-made a Star Trek. There's a little bit of, well, you know what he does is a lot of, I mean, he

talks about his experience being on set and like, oh, it's crazy. You know, you look over and there's Whoopi and then you look and there's LeVar and he's wearing the ting over his eyes. Oh, he's great though. And you know, Next Generation, it's tough to replace the original cast. You know, that's what I had to do on Saturday Night Live. Because, you know, those people, you know, think about Gilda Radner.

How about, let's hear it for Gilda Radner. So he's having every five minutes, applaud for the military, applaud for Gilda Radner, applaud for Trump and Hillary. Go every, what will you applaud for? Because it won't be this music. Really quick, one more thing. And I swear this is the Piscopo part will be over. This is part of his medley of Johnny Cash songs,

and he's imagining what if other people sing Johnny Cash songs. Oh, yeah, sure. If this is loud enough, guess who he is doing an impression of right now. Any game? No idea. No, nothing. No, I don't have anything. I can't even begin to guess. That is his impression of Michael Jackson. That was the only artist that came into my mind.

Did it somehow? The feeling of like, well, if he was on another planet, maybe Michael Jackson. But like, no way. Michael Jackson didn't sing like that. He doesn't. Basically, he's doing a gay voice. He's doing a outdated stereotype gay voice. That was what I did this test on Erin, and she said out loud,

well, it can't be Michael Jackson because. It can't, but it's. No, but it can. But if you, it's through Joe Pisco pose, like Johnny Walker red colored memory, it probably is coming up as michael jackson like um anyway i mean so this is this is great right you've got yeah right right this is great it's so good is what it is and it's and because you don't know where he's gonna go

with these impressions and these are things that we know from our world, not outer space things. And that's what I think is great about Joe Piscopo's appearance on Star Trek The Cruise 1. We need to figure out, where can we see this Joe Piscopo show tonight? Gosh, I don't know. Well, I went to a wedding in Staten Island a few years ago. And it was like a hotel complex where there was like a Hampton Inn next to a Hilton and stuff. And after the wedding, we went to the bar at the Hilton.

And it was a very, very tiny bar, but it had a very small stage. And it said, coming next week, Joe Piscopo. Mmm. Sold out. So,

supper club at a Staten Island Hilton Garden Inn. Wow. First off, that's going to be the hottest crowd for Joe Piscopo. It feels like Piscopo should be playing the Tellos over here. That has to have happened, right? Joe, if you think LA is not going to be friendly to you,

if you're scared of this blue state, you're going to find the warmest welcome at the place where Robert Blake started the process of killing his wife. Yeah. Frank Stallone has played Vitello's before. A number of times. And Frank is down in Mar-a-Lago with Joe, I think, all the time. I'm looking at, I clicked on the events website,

or the part of JoePiscopo.org, and there is the, on Saturday, September 11th, it just says, September 11th, never forget, buy tickets. To what? Is it you doing jazz music? Or is it a, am I, explain what I'm buying a ticket to, please. There's no comedy. There's no impressions.

There's no crooning. It's just him going like, and it's, if you're in the military, stand up. Like, it's just that portion of his act stretched to 90 minutes. You know who never would have forgotten 9-11? The chairman of the board. How about a hand for, and then he sings Paul McCartney's Freedom as Frank Sinatra. Talking about freedom. Talking about freedom.

What if Frank led a prayer for everyone affected by 9-11? What would that have sounded like? You know, you know, Frank, you know, Frank and JFK were real tight, but did he give some information to certain some people who killed him? You know, you never know.

Lots of people were talking to each other back then. The mafia, the Cubans, everyone was pals in Vegas. I got you under my skin. Now what if Michael Jackson had sung that? Phil Hartman's impression was too mean-spirited. Old Blue Eyes loved mine. The family didn't like it.

They didn't like it. I knew the Irishman. We did used to say he painted houses houses but we knew what that meant. Hey, what if Frank Sinatra had done a three-way with Kylo Ren and no way with Leia and Han. What would that

have been like? I can't think of a good. So yeah, look, how are you going to top that? This is the great this is what an event this is. Here, look, look, how are you going to top that? This is the great... This is... What an event this is. Here, look. Okay. If we haven't sold the Star Trek cruise enough, one of the years, Gates McFadden, who played Beverly Crusher on the show, came out to introduce the whole cruise.

She came up there. She had a sling and she said, I broke my arm. I fell down five concrete stairs. That was the start of the cruise. That was the start. That was the muster? that was the muster that was the muster they fell down the stairs gays mcfadden she said she was feeling better but she had like broken her arm and that's how they started the weekend off for the week all right off we go

and then there's i took a screenshot of it because there's here she is with i don't know if you can see this here she is with the sling and you can see one dancing shirtless man in the foreground already shirtless somehow yeah the start of the cruise i mean i think a lot happens at that central pool area and um so yeah there's a lot of people show up ready to go people are rightfully and if you can't bring liquor on board, then you got to, what are you going to do but start before? I think some cruises you can prepay for alcohol. Oh, I see. So it's ready. Well, I think this said that you could bring two bottles of your own wine or champagne,

which also notches them above Star Wars Galactic Star Cruiser, which has lost a lot of points over the course of this episode. Yeah, I think so. But, you know from their lack of your brain your own wine to their lack of piscopo um you know no hollywood squares based entertainment either god they don't have their own version of hollywood stars has star star trek squares where they put cast members in a hollywood square game show on stage that is why are you saying that so defeated?

No, not defeated. I'm trying to contain my glee at it. I'm trying to contain how much I want to see that. I'm actually imagining what are my nine most wanted cast members in the squares. It's a good question. Joe Piscopo is center, obviously. Joe Piscopo is center, obviously. Joe Piscopo, Wallace Shawn. I'm going to give points to the Star Trek cruise, too, because it just happened,

and it didn't cause a lot of people to turn into language experts and discuss the concept of the word worth. And what does this term really mean in the way that the Star Wars Hotel had a real semiotic effect that i did not see coming how can you afford it well can you afford to not have afforded it who among us has not considered worth and earthly dollars credits as it's called in the galaxy far far

away what was worth to the gods in the Odyssey. What was worth in our great fiction. It's hard. It's changed over time. Meanwhile, Star Trek Cruise Review is like, yeah, I got drunk. I had sex with a woman who's dressed as a Betazoid. Yeah.

You should do it too. Hell yeah. Oh yeah. Look, CruiseCritic.com said great things. They're very complimentary. They're a tough audience. And look with 2023, it was Star Trek. The cruise six coming up.

Kate Mulgrew's joining the crew. She's going to be there. They're going to Cabo San Lucas. They're going to Puerto Vallarta. You know, who knows what old blue eye impersonators they might pick up along the way and we know old yellow eyes is going to be there we got tons of crooning we're seeing tropical locales i mean as as opposed to one that's you know that doesn't go on the ocean at all yeah no it's true

uh i think as far as right now i'm not going to put down the star wars thing i haven't done it and i haven't done the star trek but for my uh preference i think right now i'm going to give the edge the big edge to star trek the cruise that's interesting huh so you would give it to star trek the cruise well as i look over kind of my opinions throughout this thing i'd have to say yeah i think I think it is Star Trek The Cruise. Yeah. I don't, huh. I wasn't sure where I was going to land.

Right. I wasn't sure where you were going to land either. But I think, you know, with my apologies to Star Wars The Cruise, I think I have to give it to Star Trek The Cruise. Jason? Yeah. You know, I'd like to see this Star Wars thing myself. It's a lot of money to put down for a two-day experience. And I have other expenses and other travel plan, both show and social plan coming up.

What a brag. You have things on your calendar? I have things on my calendar. You know, so, you know, you got gotta judge this stuff if you're an adult um so uh yeah i'm curious to see what happens with the star trek cruise if they scale back the price point or extend the number of days as time goes on because like b oh you mean beyond the eight i agree i would star wars the cruise no no i think you said it right the first time i think they should take it up to like 17 days i am sure that would be great and i'm sure they could get even more activities and theme nights and cast members in there um in terms of

the way i like to go on vacation uh i heard the star wars thing is good for uh extroverts who like to play games uh i would not particularly call myself either of those things so i think the star trek cruise is closer to the way that I prefer to vacation. The option of doing something like, you know, thematic, something, you know, and then just taking naps and going to the pool, going to bars, relaxing, seeing the sights, seeing exotic ports of call. You know, I've never been to Mexico or the Bahamas. So points,

points, Star Trek. I have to say, I might have to do Star Trek cruise. Might have to do a little research, watch some more of the shows. So I know what I'm getting into. You know, make sure you can speak the language and play,

you know, and I know there's ample languages. There's no shortage of languages in the Star Trek universes. Yes. Can you, can you say, do you want to swing in Klingon? That's the way you need to know. I can't right now.

I cannot right now. But hopefully by next February you can. This has been fascinating to deep dive into the world of immersive Star Cruise experiences. And I think we know our preference. But hey, it's up to you out there

to go on your own Star Cruise adventure and see what you think. Although I think we're pretty sure what you're going to think. Yeah, we agree. But yeah, obviously, we have our preference. And you probably will say Star Trek, yes, better. But yeah, go do both and enjoy yourself. Just to say you did. Just to say you covered all your bases in kind of the way that we said well i guess we should name check the star wars

thing yeah yeah briefly in an episode that's otherwise about the utter dominance of star trek the cruise you survived podcast the ride star cruises edition uh when we and i you know we should wrap it up and we probably don't have time to get into that other star cruise you found mike which is in branson well there was a branson had a star cruise in 2014 apparently it ended then they beat all of them oh my god yeah and that we don't have time to talk about no we can't know yeah that jerry springer was doing the prices right on it uh there's more game shows with that don't attach to the person doing them this is incredible right yeah Right, yeah. We can't talk about that. We can't talk about country star Mickey Gilley

and the fact that he was driving the boat for some reason. We can't talk about that. Oh, my gosh. The captain, look, the characters they invented in Star Wars is so fun, but it wasn't also the musician. Yeah, but no, wait. We don't have time to talk about it. We don't have time to talk about the –

Don't write it down. This is also a day cruise, by the way, so you'd just be on there for a couple hours. We don't have time to talk about it. We don't have time to talk about the... Don't write it down. This is also a day cruise, by the way, so you'd just be on there for a couple hours. We don't have time to talk about the fact that on one of the days you could see legends in concert, people doing lookalikes of the Blues Brothers. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

You can meet them. People dressing up. Fake, fake blues guys. We don't have time to talk about the fact that Paul Harris and the Cleverleys would be doing Gangnam Style in a country music version. Wait for it. You know where it's coming, Jason. Oh, I know.

I don't recognize this yet. Here we go. Oh, my gosh. We don't have time to hear all the verses. We don't have time to hear every verse of this country. Gangnam Style. Oh, shoot. Did we mess up this whole episode?

We may have screwed this episode up. But you know what? Also, we don't have time to talk about is the acapella group Six, who was on this cruise, too, in 2014. And they have a video here. Oh, an acapella Barbara Ann. We don't have time. We don't have time.

Barbara Ann, the official anthem of Branson, Missouri. Oh, Amanda Medley. We can't talk about this. We don't have time to hear which boy songs they go into. We really don't have time. We don't have time. We've got to wind this down. There were probably people in this episode saying they're going to get which Star Cruise is the best wrong.

And we did. We really got it wrong. It's this Branson 2014. That is no longer in it. That isn't operational, and it was only a few hours one summer. I'm sorry. It's killing me, but we don't have time. We really don't have time.

Are they just reading the ports of call for the Star Trek Cruise? Does the Star Trek Cruise go to Kokomo? Why don't have time. Are they just reading the ports of call for the Star Trek cruise? Oh, baby. Does the Star Trek cruise go to Kokomo? Why don't we go? Oh, boy. Hey, follow us on the socials. Merch available on our TeePublic store. Three bonus episodes every month.

Check out Podcast The Ride, the second gate. It's a really exclusive port of call. It's patreon.com slash podcast the ride. Oh, boy. Dude. Mike, I told you we don't have time. We don't have time. We don't have time. Sheridan, Scott Gardner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please

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