Podcast: The Ride - The American Adventure with Eva Anderson

Episode Date: March 16, 2018

Podcast: The Ride digs into the best spot for air conditioning at Epcot, The American Adventure! A show that asks the question," Has America been too successful?" With Eva Anderson (Comedy Bang Bang, You're the Worst). Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning! Today's episode may include Kafka-esque theatrical kidnappings, robots who paint in blood, and cannonballs that don't pay no mind. Eva Anderson helps us spread our golden wings and fly to the American adventure on today's Podcast The Ride, the podcast hosted by three men who would rather enter the basketball court inside the Matterhorn than Christ's kingdom of heaven. It's a long walk. I'm Scott Gairdner. That's good. I'm joined by Mike Carlson. I have thought about how cool it would be to play basketball in there, and I don't. I'm a bad athlete. I'm bad at basketball.

I bet everyone who has played in that is terrible. I bet it's a land for non-athletes, except for those Matterhorn mountain climbers. They're athletic. Yes, they're very athletic. So yeah, anyway. You know, if we don't acknowledge the other host, then does he get to talk?

Oh, good point. We could cut him out. We could ice him out. You really have the power. No, hey, we got to get him in on this. It's Jason Sheridan. Hi, this is my greatest fear. When everyone just turns on me.

I knew it was coming. I've prepared for it. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. You have your own theme park podcast logo made up for when you split off because we've iced you out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, when you go to just Jason's theme time. Jason's theme park.

Jason's theme time. So I guess it's just me now. Yeah, that's my intro every episode. It's very off-putting and people hate it. Also the name of your album, your first musical album. It's just me now. Oh, it's just me now.

You glum in a sweater. Yeah, the cover is, yeah. Well, the back cover is me in a sweater. The front cover is me in a tuxedo, well the back cover is me in a sweater the front cover is me in a tuxedo but the bow tie is undone cigarette I'm sort of like a Seth MacFarlane yeah yeah yeah

but at the end of the night the show didn't go well everyone walked out alright and there is a fourth joining us we're very happy to have her a great writer and performer from Comedy Bang Bang and You're the Worst. It's Eva Anderson. Hey, guys. Hey.

Thank you so much for being here. We're so excited to have you. I'm so excited to be here. Oh, man. There's so much to talk about. I feel like I've heard rumors of your theme park lore and backstory. And you seem in general like just a a big fan of uh insane experiences out in the world yeah uh as are we so uh yeah but like you're like braver

about them than we are like a hundred times like you'll do some i've seen like interesting stuff scary stuff immersive stuff where like it seems like you're getting like abducted or there's a prowler at the door. I had a lot. Two years ago, I bought a subscription service where this immersive theater company did a play in my life. And they came to my house at 6 in the morning and arrested me in a Kafkaesque fashion. Wow. And they were all young people who lived in like Orange County. Uh-huh.

So, so wait. You're aware of the not characters you were dealing with. Wait, did they like brought you into a, into a van and took you somewhere? No, they showed up at my house and they were like, you are under arrest for crimes. And it was like fucking incredible. And then they sent me to my room to change into my finest to meet the inspector and i did and while they were i was in my room they hid things all over my house that i had to find later was i feel like one of your roommates told me like yeah every now and then a strange box

yeah lisa yeah there'll be a strange box every now and then we just assume it's an even thing and uh yeah you also prepare to meet the inspector fuck no no no I have to go to work I know it's uh so I did that for a while and then that theater company moved to San Francisco without ever finishing my story oh no they might be back though they this might be uh oh it's a long con kind of thing yeah what is it I don't think it is though it's been too long you don't think this is the prestige is not's been too long. You don't think this is, the prestige is not coming, right? That's the end of a magic trick.

What if they had figured out, what if we revealed to you that we were part of this and that this is the finishing line? You guys are part of the group from La Mirada? Yeah, we're from La Mirada and we started this podcast

as a way to con you into getting here and now we're revealing the finale. Oh my God god immersive actress dolores quintana walks out in the hallway no dolores not yet we just mentioned you get back dolores is an old friend of jason's oh my god what if you guys pretended to be interested in theme parks week after week it's the ultimate that i would listen to the podcast to lure me in all alright step one she's in very predictable

we learned everything so alright so you've been involved in immersive theater world you also you grew up getting to experience some like the kinds of Disney experiences

that will still today make us insanely jealous. I know. I feel. Like, I mean, you know, prepare to hear some very genuine gasps, I suppose. Yes. I'm not trying to. I'm aware of my privilege. I want to say that up at top.

Right. Like, I know that, like, this is not normal. And that it's, by talking about it, it might be, like, annoying. I don't know. Well, if you're appreciative. Oh, fair. Yes. Highly, highly.

Yeah. It's all in the attitude. If you're saying, like, yeah, of course I got to do these cool things, then people will be mad. But if you're saying, I'm so humbled by the experience to have done, you know, like, whatever you're about to say you know I think people would be like

generally happy for you that you gotta do it oh I don't need people to be happy for me oh okay never mind you don't want them to be mad yeah I just don't want them

to be mad got it got it that would be insane that that is what made someone mad aren't you happy for me but if I was like I demand that you

are happy for me listeners please be happy for eva um yeah well yeah i'm look i'm not sure how to get into it i just i know like i use you guys like it's it's all like a hushed secret like i heard that eva's like went to the yeah we i guess you mentioned to me and scott like some of the things you got to do well i guess we should first say you have a family connection to Disney. So my dad is Harry Anderson, who was on Night Court and Cheers. And he worked for Disney in the 80s and 90s.

Okay. Like on and off. He was the absent-minded professor in the new version of it on TV in 88. And then there was like a sequel, I think, probably in 89 or 90. Which you reminded me of. And he is like, he has like a computer assistant. Yeah, there's a trailer if you Google it.

It's fucking great. He has like a computer friend named Albert who talks, he's on like the screen of a tiny, tiny Apple computer. Like a gray scale. A gray scale animated like Albert Einstein character

who's like, yes, you should call it Flubber. Guys, it's just very available. Just Google away. I like that the computer, the professor doesn't get to figure out that it's Flubber. A computer has to word analyze

and figure it out for him. Oh, I see. Flubber. He got the idea from a computer saying the idea. Right, right. Okay, okay. And what else in Disney World? I feel like I do remember him from a lot of specials.

Yeah. Hosted specials and stuff. He hosted a lot of, or appeared in a lot of specials, I think. Sure. Okay, okay. Which I should say, I don't think I've talked to you about this,

that the specific special that he hosted, the Disneyland story, is my very favorite one that ever, I am an aficionado of, like at this point, dozens and dozens of Disney specials of various kinds. And this was the one that I taped off the TV, wore it out.

Like I remember every commercial. I remember the specific, like, Sizzlers commercials. I don't know it at all. What's it about? You don't know. I was hoping this would be the case. It's very complicated. Mike and I have also watched it, but I watched it as an adult. We're not nearly in deep as Scott is on this one.

I specifically love the last 10 minutes. But, Scott, I'll let you build to that. The last 10 minutes are very specific. Here, I have it in front of me, and I can flip through. I'm very excited to get to explain this to you for the first time. I'm very excited to see it.

We open on the Disneyland Railroad Station, and your father is in a fedora and trench coat, which I feel like he had kind of like an old timey air and a lot of things. Yeah, that was his look. Sure, sure. So he is in the back of a train and it's like a special car and a special train

that is going to like, not just do the regular route of Disneyland, but instead take you through the history of Disneyland and through time. The thing I don't want to put on mic here so I can just keep talking is that this is all set to the Back to the Future music. Fuck yeah.

Strangely. Not a Disney property. Not a Disney property. And I was so messed up and I love this thing so much that in my mind it was always, oh, like when I saw Back to the Future, I was like, oh, it's the Disneyland story music. This is in something else.

Oh, holy. That's how backwards, I love this special so much i love that and then i'm very excited you get to see this for the first time here's your dad traveling through time through the history of disneyland and uh like the time train at the end of back to the future three sparkles old analog sparkles yeah like lighting up the room purple yeah yeah yeah like neon oh it's like like still lightning bolts it's like aha take on me level technology he passed a calendar that said february a tunnel that took him through the space the the star tours warp and now he is in awe of the history of disneyland passing before his eyes he just passed walt there's a lot of just mouthing wow

he's just pointing pointing yeah yeah he's doing good uh this. There's a lot of just mouthing wow. He's just pointing. Pointing, yeah, yeah. He's doing good. This is, it's so much fun. Just look this up on YouTube. Enjoy it on your own time. I will. Enjoy your father's work. Now, the thing for me

that where this special really takes, gets me is the last like 10 minutes. He's like, here's what's coming soon to Disneyland. And it is all these attractions and most of them never happened. What are they? Dick Tracy's Crime Stoppers.

Oh, you guys have mentioned that. The shooting game? The shooting game. Yeah, where you would shoot criminals in a police car. We were such a Dick Tracy family. That would have been so dope. Oh, man.

I think it would really stand out today the way that... Well, another thing that they talked about was like more you ended up with toontown and you ended up with the roger rabbit cartoon spin ride but i think there would have been a ton more like an entire roger rabbit world and roger rabbit and dick tracy are both very odd because they didn't like they didn't maintain like their standing in disney culture so dropped off right after this special basically. It's so crazy because Roger Rabbit I would argue

is like one of the best. Yeah. It's like E.T. where there was no because there are no further films. It's kind of less of a way to keep it alive. The Roger Rabbit last little because they had like they did a short with the baby. Yeah.

So like the baby Herman and then the ride is at Disneyland. Oh yeah. You're in like a baby Herman there was a ride is it Disneyland oh yeah you're like a baby Herman's carriage yes that gets out of control so Roger floated along for a while there's been rumors there was a rumor for a long time that they were gonna remake an old Hope and Crosby movie with Mickey and Roger

which is a great idea that didn't happen but so like there was there was gonna be like a great movie ride out here or more hollywood themed stuff that never got built uh well alien encounter out here it's just like one by one he takes you into the future and goes up to the year 2000 and lists many many things none of which have i think not a single one in the list and you wonder disney does a lot of that like kind of pre-announcing plans, even in specials, which I wonder if that's

partially to generate interest in it and like gauge fan interest in it. Well, now it's only like if the money's ready. Now it's only like if something is going to happen. But they also suppose, the rumors are that they gauge interest now on podcasts. They leak information to podcasters. I won't

say who, but they'll leak information out and then they'll get a test from the audience to see if people online are mad or not. And then they proceed with or they pull the plans back. Oh, such as

it was recently announced that the Disney Hollywood Studios was maybe going to be called Disney Cinemagine Park, which is a bizarre, horrible name. I don't like that at all. But they said, no, it's not happening. But there was a whole rumor leak about it.

And then all of a sudden, people must have been irate, like we all just were. That's how we show up, being irate. Oh, no, that's bad. And then they said, no, we're going to keep the name Hollywood Studios. So let's keep being vocal about everything to see if it affects. I'm going to show you one more part of this special. Please. So he is talking about we're in the haunted mansion era of Disneyland history,

and the Imagineers are gauging whether it will be a funny ride or a scary ride, and then there's this. In the end, the mansion becomes more light than fright, kind of a happy haunting ground for the whole family. Good. Now I can go there ground for the whole family. Good. Now I can go there with my five-year-old. Otherwise,

she'd have to go alone. Aw. There you go. Isn't that cool? I was five. Okay. I wasn't sure if there was a sibling.

There's a little brother. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, but that's it. Oh, that's so cool. There you go. You're a joke in this. But this thing

that I watched religiously when I was like five. That's so sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. So, yeah, big fan of that. It's very exciting to show you that. I can't wait to watch it later and see all the things

that he talks about that never happened. Yeah, yeah, that part is really fun. In general, it's a fun little jaunt through Disneyland history that kind of spells it out for a kid, but that sets you up to then go on every website known to man and discover every specific date everything opened and who designed it all. This started me on the road to ruin.

Also, it seems like it had a decent budget. Some of these specials we have watched or talked about have been pretty slapdash. This one is the opposite. If they, in fact, paid for the Back to the Future music, for some reason. Unless it's sound-alike enough and we just are filling in the blanks mentally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's literally good.

You think it is? Yeah, okay. Sort of odd culture clash. So, Eva, your first visit to Disneyland, was it just as a normal civilian or was it a... Yeah. Okay. And also, I think my first visit to... Well, maybe now that he says five-year-old

because my mom told me the first time... So, I grew up in LA. I went there when I was little. We went... I just rode Dumbo or whatever. Sure, sure. There was like a family lore, which I don't know if it's true.

Uh, and my, cause I love my dad, but he can be a bit of a fabulous. I think I know that word, you know, fabulous. Okay.

Uh, sure. Flights of fancy. I see. Yes. Um, he claims that in high school he worked at Disneyland and he was in the goofy suit and then he got fired for being on acid on Tom sawyer's island in the suit hiding behind a tree wow and

so scandalous information i know listen to the show you know what that does to us but also that might not be true at all okay that's a fun story he likes to tell right um because he was and also he was underage for like the job or maybe he wasn't i think he was underage for the job. Or maybe he wasn't. I think he was underage for... He lied about his age or whatever. So yeah, because my dad grew up here. He went to North Hollywood High nearby. Oh, okay. Yeah, and then he lived in Orange County and worked at all the parks.

He worked at Japanese Deer Garden. Have you guys learned about that? Is that a Buena Park thing? Yeah, it was like an animal park that briefly existed by Knott's berry farm i guess is it i've seen photos of some weird attraction where there's like people in mascot costumes of japanese people yes and that is horrible that's it that's the japanese deer garden okay you guys deer garden yeah it had the miniature i guess miniature japanese deer i one time found because he worked

there too and there's another story about that he got bit by a black widow spider oh god maybe it was his friend I don't know but anyway I was in Chinatown once and I found

a like memorial plate from this this park so it did exist okay and it's I don't think it was very short-lived

I think I researched a little bit and it was like a yeahlived i think i i researched a little bit and it was like a yeah it had a bear that would do tricks and it had like um yeah it was just like a japanese themed animal park wow weird yeah 60s buena park had a lot of oddities uh for sure like the wax museum that's kind of been nothing for a long time is there nothing in there i drove past it because i you guys know, because I tweeted at you, that I did what you said, Scott. Oh, yeah.

I was driving up from Orange County, from San Diego, where I was buying, actually, a piece of art by a Disney watercolor. Okay. Yeah. Based on the podcast,

I'd been researching because of the Van Leeuwen. Is that the Van Leeuwen? Van Eaton Gallery. Van Eaton Gallery. Oh, man. I've been researching because of the Van Leeuwen. Is that the Van Leeuwen? Van Eaton Gallery. Van Eaton Gallery. Van Eaton Gallery. I was researching. I was buying a gift for my boyfriend.

I was researching different fine art by California watercolorists. Oh, okay. And it turns out that I didn't know this history, but in the 40s and 50s, Walt basically bought his own watercolor school. So, because he wanted to, like,

have a bunch of watercolorists at the go for all of the, like, to paint all the backgrounds and be animators. And, like,

have people ready to go, like, as, and especially as he's, like, moving people to the parks or whatever else. Yeah.

Like, have, like, people ready to fill the town holes, I guess. So, he invested a ton of money

in this watercolor school. Wow. So, if you were, like like a watercolor artist from anywhere in the country, you end up in California going to the school, which then merged and became CalArts. CalArts, right. Which still feeds the system. Wow. So anyway, I thought-

Wait, so it was there? Or was it literally that campus in Valencia or whatever? I don't know where the original, I think it might have been Pasadena. Weird. But yeah. So I bought a painting by a guy named Art Riley who did a bunch of seascapes, but he also painted backgrounds for Bambi

and a bunch of other, yeah, the original movies. Oh, so cool. Those people are no joke. Those original artists are so great. It's cool. And if you Google the guy, Art Riley, it's a seascape, but it looks like a Disney background. It's really cool.

That's cool. Oh, amazing. So I was driving up from there, and there was traffic, and I was by Knott's Berry Farm. And I was like, I could just, according to the podcast, not go in, but just hang out near and see what's around. For free, parking free. I mean, you got to buy the food and the drinks and everything but uh how did it go how was your how was your time it was fun i walked around i went in all the little shops i uh had some soup which was not good and a and a boysenberry beer oh wait which you were iffy on a little sweet but also it's nice that the chicken restaurants

expanded enough that there's like other, I didn't have to wait at all. I just went in. Yeah, there's a ton of rooms and yeah, if you go at an odd time, I think that's a legit bar. I think it's very nice in there.

I don't think, I think they didn't, they retained the like old timey charm, I feel. I still haven't been to the new renovated. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. It was like, it kind of looked like it was maybe not

a good type of chintzy. It was maybe like a little retirement home. Yeah. It made you feel old and sad. But that was how the old Mrs. Knott's chicken restaurant had not been renovated in like 60 years. Yeah. So that's always part of the charm is that it was kind of a dump.

But the one time I ate there, there was like a really, really old angry woman at the table next to me. Just like senile and bitter and there with her family and didn't seem to be having fun and I was like, well, no wonder. You're in like the nursing home

dining room. Oh, yes. That's exactly how it fits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sort of like spare and like old surfaces that you never see that are very 60s and uh when i went uh well you were there for that that brunch right yes we went to a breakfast brunch or yeah breakfast like buffet and there was the biggest piece of meat i had ever seen what was it was a ham or something yeah it was just a ham and it looked like it was, I'm trying to think of like,

it was like a suitcase size. And it was just like rotating there. And it just, I don't think any of us ate any of it. It was Snoopy. It was just, it was a dead Snoopy. I mean, it was bigger than Snoopy.

I think it was like Charlie Brown's mom or something. It was bigger than, it was crazy. So yeah. And you were scouting the hotel. I didn't walk in. I just looked. It's so gross. It was like so dirty and gross from the outside. Yeah.

And there's like kind of an odd, like there's like a wedding area with a gazebo, but then it's just, it's not like a little manicured garden. It's just sort of pavement. Oh no. Yeah. Amber Waves, the restaurant. I did see the sign for Amber Waves. Oh, you know, I have no complaints about Amber Waves, the restaurant. I did see the sign for Amber Waves.

Oh, you know, I have no complaints about Amber Waves. I had a good drink in Amber Waves. We had a good drink. Keep it up, Amber Waves. The Friday, did you go to the TGI Fridays? I marveled at it. Yeah, yeah. That's all you need to do.

And behind the candy store, like indoors where the bathrooms are, there's like a weird mill installation that Walter Knott put there with like a plaque being like, this was the mill wheel. Yes. It's weird. It's a little room, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a room with like weird foliage leading to the bathrooms and then this mill wheel. And it's hot, right? It's like humid in there. Yeah. It's very humid in there. Yeah. It feels like you're, probably to keep the plants nice, it feels like you're in like

at the county fair, like one of the horticultural pavilions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those odd sheds at the fair location that stays there for like even when the fair's closed. The, yeah,

and also George Washington's fireplace, George Washington's mantle is there. That's awesome. Look, it's, I, you know,

I'll end up talking about it on many an episode. Going out in Buena Park. If we're talking about something being dumpy and chintzy, that doesn't mean don't go there. I had a great time. That means get in your car right now and go. We should clarify, this is not one of the

amazing privilege experiences Eva got there. This is a common Southern California thing that anyone can do all the time. If traffic is just so insanely bad, as it often is, sometimes you just hunker down at a bar or a restaurant for a little while until it clears up. Sometimes that's a Knott's Berry Farm.

You don't have to be a captain of industry to go see George Washington's mantle. It's an experience waiting for all of you. One more thing I noticed while I was there, right now they're doing a peanuts, a sort of peanuts experience at Knott's Berry Farm where you can meet all the characters from Peanuts. They aren't always doing that.

They're always there, but I think there's like a celebration you're talking about. A celebration of peanuts, yeah. Special themed snacks around the park. And there's like a Peanuts land in one area where you can meet and get pictures with charlie brown and and linus and snoopy and lucy but uh they if you go on the website you

can find this pig pen is just in old west town in the livery barn separate from his friends yeah he's in the fucking livery barn and they just say in the livery barn and he's just like standing there covered by like dirt and there's like clouds of dust around him like that are drawn and you can get a picture with him but you have to know that he's in this other area and there's i don't know how you would know that that's odd yeah you aren't reading the park literature come in this barn meet pig pen in a simulated filth he eats from a trough it's like where the freak show freaks have to stay on the road also not a thing like not a cliche about children that they're so filthy they never are clean like he's like the weirdest of all the i read i was googling i was reading the wikipedia of pig pen and i guess charles charles schultz was embarrassed that he created pig pen

because wow ultimately he was like his least favorite character because he only had one game character game. Right. It made no sense. Oh yeah because what is his personality outside and it was like he was so popular and he was like I wish I hadn't made this person. Oh no.

He's just a dirty boy. Like this cursed dirty boy. What hath I wrought? Everywhere I looked there's kids with flies around them going around them in perfect circles yeah leaving line visible lines behind them i mean the subtext i don't think i'm making this or i'm this isn't my original thought but he was a poor kid right like that's but maybe the subtext but eventually it became a thing where he would bathe and then the dust would appear immediately. Oh, it was a genetic condition that he was dirty?

Yeah, just like some curse, like a gypsy curse. Wow, I didn't realize that. So like Tim Allen's Santa Claus, when he would shave the beard, it would come right back. So like he would wash the dirt away. It's really grim. At one point, he like keeps part of his body clean long enough to like woo a girl in one comic this is all in the wikipedia a struggle we can all relate to right anyway he's in the livery barn you can meet him check him out he's always there he's not part of the celebration that's just his cage jesus christ if he hasn't uh yeah lost his spirit if he isn't

just like huddled in the corner maybe he'll come say hi he's docile uh okay but so uh all right well we got onto it and someday we'll talk about the american adventure we'll get in there for you know last 10 minutes or so yes but first like okay so you're the rest of your Disneyland upbringing. Okay. So my dad was working for Disney. So the craziest thing was that in, I believe it was 89 or 90, we flew to Disney World and were there for the opening of MGM Studios. Whoa.

Because my dad did the, I think he was the, because his character was a judge, he like marshaled the and he his handprints are in front of the graumanns oh wow yeah they're in that yeah so that was insane we flew in like a weird plane with like kevin costner oh wow and um we're there for that and then after that um we went four more times over the years to Orlando. And we had like the crazy, we had guides. Okay. So we had a vacation, but we had like the guides that let you in the back. And we never waited in line.

Oh, man. And so the things that were crazy that happened during that time was, one is that um in the lounge celebrity lounge waiting to go on honey i shrunk the audience we met roger ebert with chaz and the kids he gave us all of the oscar predictions that he had for the next week when forrest gump was up he did not think tom hanks would win he thought peter fonda would win for uli's gold i remember this very specifically but then after the movie was over he turned to us and gave it gave it a thumbs up wow he gave honey i shrunk the audience a thumbs up yeah was he there to do were there cameras capturing that was he there to do that only i think he was on a vacation and like

he we both got put in the same lounge the thing about disney world it's like if have you guys ever done a guide at disneyland have you ever been in that position because it's like at disneyland they were never built for to have special guests so you just walk in the exit in front of everyone if you want if you're yeah it's not good but florida like actively built for vip yeah it's like special entrances special rooms that you hang out in and then like entrances where no one sees you get on the ride so it's like this crazy like system oh i've heard i worked for this disney owned company and like the ceo of it got to like was went got on the haunted mansion and there's like a room of the haunted

man not just a waiting room but like a room with a painting gag that's only for vr wow really there's a separate i've never heard this to the ride i don't remember but i i'm sure i saw that yeah that's crazy we've talked about on the show there and those are the court there's corporate lounges at epcot for these different companies so i don't know if you got to go did you get to go in the corporate lounge or are there different lounges for a new for these different companies. So I don't know if you got to go, did you get to go in the corporate lounges or were there different lounges? for a new one like Honey, I Shrunk the Audience,

I think this was just like for VIPs. Right. But I bet I went in the Exxon lounge. Yes, that's what I'm asking. If you got to go and hang with the Exxon employees.

I definitely did. I definitely went on the Exxon ride and I definitely did a walkout when it broke. Oh, yeah. Is that what it's called? Oh, really?

Yeah, I walked through the dinosaurs once, which was great. Wow, that's great. And then, okay, here's a couple other crazy things that happened. Road Tower of Terror with Alan Menken. Wow. On the way out,

Alan Menken turns to us and says, pretty good. Needs a song, though. Oh, wow. Alan Menken. And Menken forecasting what would happen to the guard the guardian when the guardians of the galaxy ride would take over and they just added songs to it so really he was 20 years ahead but i think he was also being funny about how twilight zone

has a very good song i see yeah he was he was oh he was down playing the uh yes the famous yeah he was like i'm cool And then the third crazy thing I did was I got to take a tour of the animation studios and see an automatic of Beauty and the Beast before it came out. It was crazy. So those are all very privileged experiences I had. And I want you all to be happy for me.

I swear I am. I swear. The entire film Beauty and the Beast no it was just a scene it was the scene where where he gets hurt

after he gets hurt going into the woods to help her and then like he yells at her and it was like Robbie Benson and

what's her Paige O'Hara's voice is and just like drawings like and we just got to watch him in like a little screening room. Do you remember being confusing to watch?

Cause I feel like I've seen like Disney animatics are so like pencil scratch. But it was like interesting. I mean, and we also got to see like the very early CGI of the, cause I think the, the chandelier was a very early computer animated effect. Oh, right.

So you got to see the, you got to see that too. Wow. And I got to walk around just kind of see like editors animators cubicles where they would have like funny little like uh inside jokes that they'd attacked on the outside but it was like they were such great artists that they all looked really amazing um so that was a great experience didn't know did any uh characters leap off the page and wink at you i mean? It was like them drawing each other, like, unflatteringly.

Oh, wow. That was what it was, mostly. It was like, oh, someone had sketched, like, Rob and stuck it on his cubicle and he was like, oh, man. But, you know, it was still, like, hand-drawn. I don't know how much hand-drawn animation still happens there now. I think there is no animation still now.

They were still doing it up until, I think, like, a lot of Mulan happened. There's a movie I should look. We're plenty researched but I want to say Mulan or something was done entirely at MGM Studios. I think that's right.

There's nothing there anymore really. They closed that whole studio there in Florida. Isn't it weird that Orlando had to pretend to have a film industry for the sake of pumping up these? Yes, it is funny. Because Eisner wanted people not to go to Universal Studios. So that's why there was a backlot at Hollywood Studios. It's so weird.

But why did they ever film anything at Universal either? Like, why just declare for no reason Orlando is Hollywood East? Well, I think they thought that people would be like, okay, if it's themed like a studio, we'd better see some movies being shot here. No one cares. When people don't give a shit. You just want to go on rides, right? Yeah, I just want to go on rides.

I was watching some video on YouTube, and it pointed out that the back lot at Disney MGM Studios was next to an attraction attraction called catastrophe canyon that was constantly exploding every 12 minutes so not a great shooting environment in terms of like pristine audio quality yeah i have a couple very specific memories of places i haven't researched but i know they were there one was um a restaurant where you would eat in a person's living room. Do you guys know what this is? Oh, yeah, the 50s primetime cafe.

Yeah, and there would be a mean, this all leads up to the reason I pay people to come to my house and yell at me. Because my favorite thing about that was there was an actress who was mom and she would yell at everyone. And you are the cousins. You are not the children, you're the cousins. Did you guys ever go to this? Yes, I did when I was little.

Is it still around? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is. Is it the same deal? I didn't go last time. You walk in. The bar is themed after dad's study. So you can just sit and have a drink in dad's study in the bar.

That's so cool. No one is mean to you there. It's because it's dad's study. His dad is drunk. But then when you sit down, like, you know, they come out. Mom comes out and gets you. And you eat, like, meatloaf and shit. And you eat meatloaf and

fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I never went. I didn't want to do this. Some people love it. Like, that's their go-to. They're like, well, we gotta eat there. I mean, all I wanted, I realize now, was for, like, a character to talk to me. That's why, like, I really dug that Knott's Berry Farm thing

where you would talk to the fucking prisoner in the, in the jail. Oh, yeah. I would run there and I'd spend like 45 minutes there

when I was a kid because I just wanted a fictional person to acknowledge me. Yeah. This is so weird. Were you like disappointed by movies always

because they don't talk back to you? I guess so. I don't know. I just wanted to be part of the narrative in some way. I want to be part of the story. Yeah. And another thing I remember was that one time we went to a dinner show in Orlando called

the Hoop-Dee-Doo Review. Oh, yeah. Yes. Did you guys ever do that? I did not. I think I've been. I'm pretty sure I've been when I was young, and I don't really remember any of it.

They would sing this song called, I remember it went, Hoop-dee-doo, Hoop-dee-doo, and they danced around, and then you ate chicken, and it was a whole theme show where the characters also had a relationship with each other.

That is in the record books as one of the longest continuous running theatrical presentations. That's amazing. Cause it's been going since I think whenever they opened the campground, which it was in the seventies. Oh wow. There's a theater and restaurant at the Disney campground where all that happens.

That's cool. Do you actually camp there? Is that like, you can, yeah, you can, uh, yeah,

you can RV camp or there's cabins and stuff. This is the kind of thing that these specials would show you. They would write in a scene where the Mouseketeers are camping or all the TGIF sitcoms that had to go to Disney World. It's all scenes made to feature uh uh you know features of the uh of the resort right sort of tortured narratives that take you like to camping and space and this new england place and that's awesome yeah i don't why did i the the thing with these specials i like i don't know why they're like just pure ads they're they're hours long, pure propaganda that I loved more than

movies. It was all the possible places you could go to. Yeah. Or maybe similarly. Yeah. It's like shopping for an experience. Yes. Yeah, that's true. If you watch enough of these specials you know if you do get to go there what you'll prioritize and what you won't need to see. Sure, sure. If the Mouseketeers

got in a fight, it's not a place I want to go. Yeah, exactly. But but they had a good time there's a period I'm sure they made so many of them there's even besides the Disney produced ones the Travel Channel had a period of time where they had so many behind the scenes at Disney World stuff and very slick travel

channel food network kind of like in and out in 40 minutes like very highly stylized and produced this the sickest thing i think that's in this vein is that on uh on the tvs in the hotels they just play a continuous loop of what we're talking about specials that show the park the information and we all have yeah and we all have i think everybody has collectively the same like fascination of going back to the hotel after being out for 12, 14 hours in the parks and just watching these channels.

This is a specific memory I have. I was going to bring this up, is that my parents are at Pleasure Island and I'm with my little brother in a hotel room watching the commercial for Pleasure Island loop on like a 15 minute loop. Yes. loop on like a 15 minute loop yes because we just like we think there's this one guy who's a country line dancer who looks so stupid that we kept waiting for him to come back through and see him again and then laugh at him so we could find this guy oh yeah oh yeah it's pretty limited

materials I'd say it's 92 okay yeah we'll try to find it we'll be tweeting at you with the line is this him I definitely I definitely he has he's just one guy and he's like

his leg is going in all different directions and he's like squatting and we thought he was so funny we found multiple I mean there's tons of theme park stuff on YouTube

but the in room information loops are on YouTube that's awesome and I like actively avoid it going down that rabbit hole cause that's

that'll just be days gone that was like my brother and I that was like our thing was like yeah locating the worst the funniest part of every one of those there's still like i remember we had to live at the desert inn for like a week in vegas before it closed because mel torme was performing and uh and there was a video where suzanne summers learned gambling through the spirit of gambling taught it to her and there was a video where Suzanne Somers learned gambling through the spirit of gambling taught it to her. And there's a part where she sang a little song about Desert Inn and how it's fun. And we would wait for that part because we thought it was so funny.

Oh, my God. That is the most of my – I love, like – I was looking into this for talking about the American Adventure that there was a thing at Independence Hall in Philadelphia where, like where spirits come back and revisit the areas. I went on a factory tour in Texas of an ice cream factory

where the founder of the company's ghost came back to see the... So the spirit of gambling and season and summer, nothing could be more up my alley than this. I'll try to find it.

You should find it. It's from the... The Desert Night, I think, went away six months later. It was one of the oldest. People still had to wear formal wear in the casino, like cocktail attire, which is not

anywhere anymore. Vegas is very short and heavy at this point. There were no rascals. Reminding me, I may have talked about this on the podcast. Coming back from visiting my family at Christmas, just this past Christmas, I got stuck in Vegas overnight because the plane missed its connection. And so they put us up in a no-name hotel off of the Strip.

And it was fine, but I was just so tired. And I just came into the room and I turned on the TV. And before I could even look at what the channels like try and find a channel to watch the vegas information channel was on and i'm like well don't need to change the channel and i just like watched that until i fell asleep and it stopped where it's like we're here with the head of the vegas uh margaritaville las vegas and I'm just like looking at Scott. I'm listening. Yeah, Mike's listening. And he's like, if you come here, my picks got to be either the cheeseburger in paradise or the volcano nachos. And I'm just alone in this hotel room going like, yeah, no shit.

You get the cheeseburger in paradise or the volcano nachos, you fucking idiot. Don't act like it's like a hidden thing. They're the first things on the menu. Tell us something we don't know. We were, Aaron and my wife and I were in Vegas a couple weeks ago in January. thing they're the first things on the menu tell us something we don't know yeah i we were uh aaron and my wife and i were in vegas in a couple weeks ago in january and we had been there in july as well and we like we were in this we were disappointed that the mgm uh that the m resorts video had not been turned over yet oh because we were there within a six month window like is it a

new video ah damn it that's the fuck it's the Mandalay Bay Dolphins again. We've seen it. Did you see Criss Angel? Yes. Yes, I did. Okay, good. You know that's closing. Is it?

Oh, okay. We gotta get out there. It's the best worst show on the planet. Yeah, I did Criss Angel. I saw the laser rave, the glowing hula hoop celebration of life. After he uses magic to cure pediatric cancer yeah whoa oh it's nuts whoa get out there uh if you're listening i you know i have not been disappointed by either i i yeah i did i did chris angel and i i i we talked about it on another one i did david copperfield you know about the david copperfield i've been hearing about it

from jason woolner a lot yeah he's gone like four or five times he saw it we're having it on another one. I did David Copperfield. Do you know about the David Copperfield? I've been hearing about it from Jason Wollner a lot. Yeah. Because he's gone like four or five times. He saw it. We're having him on the show soon. He saw it twice in one night. He saw the 7 and the 9.30. He's for real.

And he's not wrong. He's more for real about this shit than anyone I've ever met. Man, boy, well, he's coming up. If he tells me I gotta see something, he told me to see Criss Angel the next morning I got in my car and drove to vegas by myself you what you literally just went yeah oh my god we were at the magic castle and he like explained the whole thing to me it's without spoiling and he's

like you need to see it immediately that's the thing i know i keep it's this isn't like nothing for the listener to say see the david copperfield show but i can't like you can't spoil it i can't spoil it but like i heard about the last act he told me oh okay i can't oh but you can't say turn like i'd be so sad if i knew but is he doing it or is he done has he been ousted uh there's an article about him you gotta get there now just yeah if you're listening to this if you're anywhere near las vegas just go i can't to oh this last half hour of this copperfield show you you have to do you really really have to do it uh i wish i could say more but it'd be so sad does he cure any kind of childhood cancer the way chris angel cures pediatric cancer by the way is by bringing out

one of his sexy assistants dressed like a kid with cancer in a wheelchair. Remember in a bathrobe with a cap on, like a no hair cap. Oh no. Did this not happen? Or was I just like, was I too drunk to know what was going on? And then he floats her in the air and makes her vanish. What? This must have been what happened. So she just dies.

So he cured it by killing a kid? Yeah, just made her go away. He put all of the cancer into one kid, made that kid go away and other kids were free. Well, that kid sacrificed for killing a kid? Yeah, just make her go away. Oh, okay. He put all of the cancer into one kid, made that kid go away, and other kids were free. Well, that kid sacrificed for the greater good. Yeah, yeah. There's also a lot of stuff about

where a saucy lady comes out and she's got blue paint smeared all over her mouth because she blew one of the blue men group. No. That is a recurring... A recurring bit? Yeah, yeah, sex with the blue men. Oh, wait a recurring uh recurring bit yeah yeah sex oh wait this isn't chris angel this isn't chris angel that wasn't that wasn't part of the show when i saw that's a new gag oh okay wow well the magicians they keep it up they uh they gotta keep reinventing

themselves there's so much someday we'll get to the topic maybe we won't maybe this will be the first one where we don't cover the ride and i'm fine with i want to talk about it because i watch the youtube video i do i will talk about it here before we is't cover the ride. And I'm fine with that. I want to talk about it because I watched the YouTube video. I do. We'll talk about it. Wait, here. Before we... I feel like I saw a video also where your dad inaugurated Toontown.

Yes, I was there for that. Jeez. Yes, he inaugurated Toontown. They had jello jigglers shaped like the genie that were blue. For just everyone that was in the VIP area or did everyone who was there

get the jello jigglers? I don't know. I mean, they were just out. Like, they were just out. Was it on a table somewhere? And then,

I jumped, I was jumping in the bounce house even though I was like a little bit too old for it and I looked out the window and Ma'am Bialik was watching me

and just sort of like not interested. She was like, like, showy like showy grown like i'm not into kids stuff no she was just sort of like you shouldn't i don't know i just felt like she was judging me but the thing she's the most known for is bouncing around and that maybe she was jealous maybe i was taking out the bounce is there still a bounce house at this whole thing they they all the fun of toontown is gone the bounce house is not a bounce house the ball pit the chippendale ball pit is not a not a ball pit and they took the slide out of chippendale so and there was like a a little park where it was all inflatable yeah bushes and that was all liability i think like lawyers i think came in you could

break your neck pretty easy in a bounce house i think yeah yeah yeah and disney didn't want to uh well but well bounce houses are such kind of like weird low rent kind of like it's a like bounce house rental seems to be a lawless land yeah like uh yeah disney probably didn't want to no yeah kids colliding heads colliding so when you were attuned so did did your feelings on being at these events change as you got older like did you kind of the scope of actually what was happening and that you were the envy of every child across the land was that i am aware i never talked about with anyone right but i just it was really weird because it was like a pocket of time where we went it happened every summer and i never went back like uh just

as soon as like my dad wasn't working with disney anymore we just never went right i never went to disneyland again uh until i was like an adult and then i only went to disney world one more time which was like in 2009 um the last time i'd been there i was like 12 right um so i did get to see like the animal kingdom for the first time which was fucking great and i got to see like the animal kingdom for the first time, which was fucking great. And I got to see all the ruined rides that I loved. Like figment was destroyed. And I got to see the three caballeros in the Mexico ride and all the things I was like,

what did you do? Yeah. But you still, you still got maelstrom. You got regular maelstrom. Yeah. I did like maelstrom a lot. Yeah.

And also when I was there in 2009, it was a weird window where like the, I don't know if this is still true, but like a five-day pass or a six-day pass was only a little bit more than like a one-day pass. They still do sort of that. Okay. Where it's like if you just add days on, it's like $20 more. A lot more deals in Florida than here.

But there was just like, it was just really easy to get on rides because people were at the parks, but just like sitting on benches. And then you couldn't get any food anywhere because all the restaurants had been booked up for months. Oh, gotcha. So it was interesting. I was like, oh, this is like, this is a, this is a failure. Weird legwork that you have to do in Florida to eat decent food.

Besides like counter service stuff. Yeah, the reservations. If a place is very popular, it will fill up months in advance. When I was in Epcot, the only place I could eat was Morocco because people were scared. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

People like my dad are like, yeah, they serve a boiled rat tail. Terrorism. It's weird, but it's so beautiful it's like the most beautiful great restaurant yeah and with great stuff uh yeah yeah i finally did yeah i think one of the last times i was there i did morocco yeah that's a legit uh restaurant well there we're whining or we finally wound our way we did get to the world showcase yeah the thing that had

not changed it barely had changed when i went back to Epcot was American. The American. American. The American adventure. Adventure. I will say, like Benjamin Franklin. Yeah, well, and this is an opening day Epcot attraction that has not really changed.

There's been little enhancements. And actually, just this week as we record this, they have done some enhancements. I think they changed the projector. I think they added a new projector. Pretty good. To the Golden Dreams montage at the end. A new recording of the song Golden Dreams.

People have been waiting for us to address these updates and here we are in the moment. America, spread your golden wings. Spread your golden wings. A song opening day, they had two people sing in person. Like a duo sing together.

Very weird to hear that. In person. Wow, wow. Okay, so the primer on this, it's all the way at the back of Epcot Center, the furthest point from the entry. It is a world showcases the area with all of the pavilions representing nations of the world.

And at the center of it is this colonial American house. And you watch a 25-minute show that combines film and audio animatronics into an American spectacular event. Yes, and it's very much like, it looks like some place you would go if it was not in Disney, like where you would have been on a field trip. Oh, yeah. It's a colonial type house.

The only difference is you can get an alcoholic dreamsicle drink in front, which I did about four months ago. That is a very American statement. Amazing. Yes. So I drank that in front of the Colonial, waiting for the show to begin,

because you cannot bring it inside, because they're worried you'll ruin the old beautiful theater. You'll throw it. You'll whip it at Chief Joseph. Yeah. Yeah. You had your time. Keep your mouth shut.

So real quick, I want to talk about the American Adventure that was not built. I just found this out yesterday researching this. There was initially a plan that the American Adventure was going to be like the bridge attraction between Future World and World Showcase. It was going to be a circular building on stilts. So you would have to literally walk under America to get to the rest of the world. This was not built. Another thing that got taken away, of course, the hosts of this attraction, Ben Franklin and Mark Twain, there was originally a third host Will Rogers

the cowboy comedian who does show up in the ride was going to join them oh man that would have been so annoying the same caliber of American I feel like as Ben Franklin or Mark Twain

would he spin the lariat the whole time I have to imagine he would have had that he'd have to i mean that would be that's part of it right you can't do more than more tricks than that yeah yeah right keep it going yeah because it's not a he's not a man oh yeah yeah yes yeah yeah he can't do real rope tricks uh he's limited uh um yeah and also doesn't mark twain fill the if if Mark Twain and Benjamin Franklin are a straight man,

funny man, isn't Mark Twain already the funny man? I know, he'd have to be like straight manning Will Rogers. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, he'd have to keep it. I'm glad they didn't go there. Yeah, that was a good idea. I would, if we're using comedy lingo, I would call them

peas in a pod, honestly, because I feel like they're both riffing a lot. But Ben Franklin was funny too. Yeah, they're all funny. That's's what the show like the opening thing of them in the show is them like zinging they're they're kind of trading uh slow slogans slow zings back and forth slow moving zings uh slow is kind of the the operative word with this thing in general

all of all that we talked about a topics, but we ended up on this. Do you have any specific reasons or recollections about the American Adventure? It was my favorite thing. Yeah, I loved going to it. I loved animatronics, and I still do. And I don't think they've gotten that much better, which is weird.

Have they really? A couple. I mean, the Rocket R raccoon animatronic famously at california venture is very good i have not seen it yet uh and then the olaf on the mail the repurposed maelstrom also moves and like is pretty impressive but then trump's fucking but trump's robot is not great it's crazy i thought the yeti on the Everest ride at Animal Kingdom was really... Well, that's busted. Yeah.

It's busted? The one at Expedition Everest? Yeah. Yeah, it's broken. What? It hasn't worked in many years. It's a whole controversy now. It worked when I went.

It swiped down at you. It was crazy. I'm happy for you, I swear. That's a rare thing. That's crazy. So, yeah, I just think it's... I mean, actually, I didn i didn't because i watched the youtube video of it last night and i didn't realize like it starts with well first of all

i just liked it i i liked all the history it made me feel like very smart um to go to it and like it um and uh and uh but i didn't realize till i watched it that like it starts with this very weird scene between twain and ben franklin and then there's like seven minutes of just like songs and no animatronics pushing into paintings just pushing into paintings and telling you about like a bunch of like the pilgrims getting cold and stuff and then they die there is a very unique logic to some of the ride where it's like anything in american history before the invention of the photograph uh is paintings and drawings and then during once you get to the point that photography is invented like there's the civil war sequence the two brothers sequence which we'll get to

that's all photographs and then eventually you get to silent films and then more film stuff starts to show up right but they do do animatronics of like those two guys talking mad shit on Washington yes which I think is the best one because the horse the way the horse moves is really sort of like

he's silently sitting on that mountain and they're like ah if we don't starve, cursed Washington, we've got dysentery. They're just like yelling. Congress sits in their warm houses. Oh, man, so good. Where I'm coming from with this attraction,

so when I was a kid, I was really into history as well as a kid. I was really into the presidents specifically. For some reason, I really revered presidents. And there was a story my mom told me where I just, like, I don't know if I, I just vaguely heard someone criticizing the president, President George Bush Sr., just some vague criticism, and I came home upset, maybe crying upset. Wow. The idea that somebody would be critical of our president.

Were your parents conservative, or where'd you get this from? They were not. They are today. Big old Trump heads, this this would be the one my mom would listen to if she listens to us so hey mom do your thing uh but the um uh no but they weren't really i think i just uh um my mom uh you respected the office i think yeah yeah you gotta respect the office yeah i really did and i and i remember there was a poll of like when he ran against clinton there was a poll of like when he ran against Clinton.

There was a poll of like who the classroom wants to be president. Yes, I did this too. And Clinton won in the class. And I was upset about that. I was like, we have to support our president. Like the idea that the president could be challenged upset me for some reason. Oh, man. You think your parents were like, oh, Scott's such a nerd.

Oh, yeah. Well, here's how it broke down. My mom with all this was like, I raised such a nerd. Oh, yeah. Well, here's how it broke down. My mom, with all this, was like, I raised the perfect child. I raised exactly the kid I imagined I would have. And here he is. And he's perfect and wonderful. My dad was kind of like, hey, we got to fix Scott. We got to nudge him over.

Because I was also around the point where she also, mission accomplished on history. Then she got me really into Broadway. And I remember when I, by the time I was really deep into a thing called Forbidden Broadway. Oh, God. Yes. Forbidden Broadway. It's been a whole thing because you know how they are showing Spamilton and their science

for Spamilton? That's a Forbidden Broadway Hamilton. Oh. And my boyfriend was going to take, yeah, so explain forbidden Broadway. Forbidden Broadway is like a parody of Broadway shows. Yeah,

it's like a review. It was a review that ran for a long time where that would be like the greatest hits of whatever's, the big shows at the moment, whether it's Evita or Phantom of the Opera, Cats or whatever.

Yeah. And yeah, just sort of a, you know, a capital steps sort of like yeah a parody a satire but such like making fun of like specific issues people have with like the leading man's uh overacting like it'll be like it's like very in inside baseball of people even who like work on broadway they had a song i remembered that was making fun

of it was a song from guys and dolls making fun of marlon brando's mumbly singing voice in the guys and dolls movie okay that's the level oh so that was like you were doing like so i was like i was into forbidden broadway volume two which was making fun of how like how hammy george hearn was in the la caja fall musical bernadette peters in the revival of anything goes oh there was a song about to the tune of anything goes i don't remember the statement of it oh wow i can't believe we both know the Patti LuPone parody. What was the stance on Patti LuPone? Do we have any idea? Was it a tribute?

Do they like Patti LuPone? In olden days, the show was shocking because Merman would keep them rocking, but now they phone Patti LuPone. Wow. Okay, I must have had that. So wait, was Patti LuPone in the 70s or 80s Mike is completely curled back against

the couch I don't know what to make of this my wife currently is listening to this and cringing on both of our behalf she's like gnarled up hearing all of this my boyfriend couldn't take his daughter had already seen Hamilton with her mom and he was like should I take her to Spamilton

and I had a sneaking suspicion take her to Spamilton and I had a sneaking suspicion so I found Spamilton on Spotify and it's like raps about the theater that did Hamilton oh my god jokes about the theater itself about the production of Hamilton on Broadway

like I can't imagine an LA audience even understanding what any of it is about the Niedenheimers or whatever it's called. It's just about like, or like, like, yo, they need better bathroom flow.

It's just about like, and it's like all about Lin-Manuel Miranda and like his perception of himself in the community of Broadway. It was like so crazy. And I was like, you, I was like, I wish I hadn't played this for you.

I wish you'd just gone to it you saved a child from going to this it's a full show and it's all just parodies of Broadway the business of Broadway did it just keep going or did it stop at a certain point is there still

this is Spamilton they probably had a field day with Sutton Foster and Wicked. Oh, yeah. I mean, look it up. When I was in college, they did Forbidden Hollywood. Yeah, I knew Forbidden Hollywood. That's what the Guys and Dolls thing was from.

They had a song that was like, it was like. It was a song about Disney taking over the world. There was one that was like Cameron Diaz and two other people, and they were just like... It was a parody of You Oughta Be In Pictures, but it was like, we shouldn't be in pictures.

Oh, yeah. It was Juliette Lewis. They were making fun of Juliette Lewis being like a flat-bath, valley girl kind of actress. Okay. This is wild. Before we keep delving into these terrible things.

Okay, you're into Broadway. You're into Broadway. The point is, forbidden Broadway was the point of no return for my dad, where he took my... I always suspected that this event happened, and I confirmed it several years ago. I said, was there a point where you took my mom aside and said, no more of this shit? And it did happen. Wow. He was like, I have to get my son back in shape.

Which I think started with, you know, kind of like, you know, it wasn't like giving me a beer, but it was like buying me Mad Magazine. And he did course corrects because- He was trying to get you, because you couldn't talk to anyone about any of this stuff. Oh yeah, imagine me in like an elementary school.

I have a really specific elementary school memory of meeting somebody who also liked the Simpsons. And like, oh, my God, a fellow Simpsons fan. Well, you must love when they make fun of the mediocre presidents. There's this song about how William Henry Harrison died in 30 days. And this kid stares at me. He's like, Homer's funny. Like that was the level.

That was as close as I could come to relating to another kid so yeah i got i'll always be thankful to my dad for um steering me not that is this correct where i'm at now i don't know he just tried to create a baseline of like sanity he's like it's look it's gonna be bad no matter what let's just kind of get it into a like vaguely the playing field of regular humanity this is a full another podcast but i wonder if the three of us were more influenced by what our moms liked because i have a similar thing where like i was like way into the monkeys and i was way into like 60s pop and it's like because my mom forced me to hear. And obviously, I like all that stuff now. And it's really good. But I do wonder if maybe that is a commonality, maybe.

Is this podcast Mama's Boys? That might be what I'm getting at. Jason, what do you think? Theme park spin-off. I'm the outlier. Both my parents like theme parks and mystery novels. And that's all I like. All right.

Oh, they're a match made in heaven. Yeah. Well, no, they got divorced a number of years ago but for a while they were yeah I don't know my parents were very encouraging of my pursuits probably because

like I was very nervous so I think anytime they're like oh good a thing where he goes off with other kids that said your Simpsons story does remind me of when I would talk to other kids about theme park. Like, oh, you went to Disney World? How about alien encounters? You're like, this thing, what about the pre-show?

Yeah, kids would be like, yeah, it was good. I was scared. Or it was just, I was like, I got saved by, did you save your maps? Did you know that at the Magic Kingdom in Florida, the ship is called the Joe Fowler, not the Mark Twain? It's an imagineer. And in 20 years' time, I'll be piloting it as I turn 30. It's a miracle. Look, there's a lot of miracles.

It's a miracle that anyone will talk to any of us. It's a miracle we met each other. Sure. Like, imagine back then the hopelessness of, like... There was no Reddit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, well, that's why I was big on theme park internet when it opened up. Like in middle school, I'm on all of these like deep message boards and everything.

That replaced friends. I mean, we would get Disney Adventure at the house. Like we had a subscription to that. We had a subscription to Disney Magazine. The Vacation Club had its own magazine. So it was all. Yeah. it was everywhere setting you on a course um so uh so you were really into presidents all being said yeah yeah

so that's that's uh okay where was all that heading coming up about when you went to so yeah with all this I'm this kid I'm this this deep this forbidden Broadway kid and then knowing that there is I remember on the plane reading the burn bombs guide disney world and it's a show where 35 audio animatronics come to life and benjamin franklin and mark benjamin franklin climbs upstairs i'm so thrilled for this and like all the whole day is a build-up to it and we took the boats across the lagoon and there it is it's getting getting bigger and bigger in view and then getting off the boat to the sign that the American adventure is being refurbished. And it was the deepest despair that I have ever... I'm sure if there was video of it,

it is like a temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums. Like worse than... A level of crying that is worse than any breakup I've had. Just like the deepest, deepest... And I talked to my mom about this last night, and she was like, I really didn't know what to do. It was a challenge as a parent in that moment to figure out

how to calm you down. I believe that she ended up saying, well look, the rotunda is open. You can still see the Voices of Liberty acapella group and I think that did give me the boost of colonial energy that I needed. How old were you again?

I would say like seven. Wow. Oh, that's okay. But in all of the, like kids look forward to going to Disney World, like that it's roller coasters or it's Mickey Mouse. I want to see Benjamin Franklin climb those stairs, and I don't get to, and I weep. That's crazy.

What's going on? Oh, man. It's great, though. Yeah, it's great. I mean, I will admit I was not nerdy for this when I was that age I was much more Yeah I like this stuff I always kind of knew it was insane

I loved it I like thought it was very like Educational And there's that other perspective As you said with Chief Joseph It's not a totally Frederick Douglass it's one of the rare Disney things

that doesn't just go be like America was great wasn't it anti-Song of the South some complications show some I mean look it could do a better job let's be honest it's not like it's some amazingly nuanced thing but still like you're like

we saw it a couple months ago and i was like oh yeah okay they're they're acknowledging that maybe america hasn't been the best country in the world for it was like a a six-year brit like in 2006 my family went and we didn't go back down until like 2012 and i remember like we were at epcot one day and everyone we've been there for a while everyone was kind of tired and i was like oh you know what we haven't done the american adventure and like half of the half of us were like i don't need to and then me and my dad were like oh we'll go watch it and i went and watched it and i was like i forgot this i forgot all of it and then like later we all met up for dinner and i'm like do you the american event and i was explaining it and and we were

leaving the next day so the everyone else was just like oh my god why didn't you why didn't anyone remember this so then we went back like two years later everyone made sure to watch it this time like it is yeah it's something it's nuts yeah well let me say then the other side of that for me because as much as I loved it as a kid, today I made a real point when I went to Disney World the first time with Aaron, my wife, made a real point of like, oh, we got to see this. It's this, you know, the 35 animatronics. And she is like from minute three, like, oh, like she and like and in the last couple of days when I've been talking about it and putting on videos of it and everything, same thing.

Just like, come on God and I like she landed on that we landed on that part you were talking about where it's just pushes in on paintings for a while and I was justifying it like well you know this is pre Ken Burns so push in on a painting oh God she's been so frustrated

hearing about and and quote Aaron this morning I will I will only listen to this episode because of the guest uh yeah thanks for the chat glad you hope you're still with us uh or we're divorced now because of all that forbidden broadway material but anyway so i would like to present the point of view and i i don't uh i'm not trying to just make up for my dorky past i think i am with her and that like this thing is pretty ponderous. It's a little rough.

Oh, it's just people talking about stuff. Yes, certainly. It is the average theme park person, or theme park goer, I should say, is bored by it. And I think it starts in the lobby. So when we were there a couple months ago, the big lobby has like paintings and there's exhibits and interesting stuff

and talking about American history. Almost everyone in there could care less there is one man though and i don't know if he's there all the time that works there that cares so much about american history and everything that is in there and he tries his very best to shout over, just like people talking, like people in the lobby just talk, and he's trying to tell them about things, and no one's paying any attention to him. And even on the way out,

he comes around to the exit, and there's flags and different things, just various piece of artifacts, and he is shouting over all these people that could be could care less about what the significance of each of these things are and it's crazy to watch because he cares he works there who knows what his politics are does he like trump he might but i don't know but he cares so much about his job and working there and he probably takes very like pride in what he does and tourists ignore him day in day out and that is probably what happens on this ride all people go what is

this thing oh and they sit there and they go what the oh god a video okay well i'll sit down for 25 minutes theme park theme park docent is what he is yes That's not a job, usually. Yeah, because everything, you're essentially ultimately talking about fake history. It's weird to be super versed. Right. Because what is he pointing out? What's in the return? Are there historic flags?

Yes, there are flags and stuff. There's artifacts. Yes. Like all the types of flags that America's had. Yeah, there's a lot of state flags and past versions of the american flag and but yeah he knows like it seems like he knows everything and no one gives a shit no one cares keep it up man it's a sisyphean sisyphean sisyphean deal yeah uh and uh yeah

we're with you but i'm similar to uh hall, where it's like, it's a good place for dad to take a nap in a dark air conditioned place. Yes. At worst case. Yeah. And nothing's going to like, maybe when the muskets get fired, he'll wake up. But if not, he can probably just nap through it and it'll be okay. And because he just had that dreamsicle alcoholic drink.

Yeah. So he's nice and loose. I remember a few years ago starting what i will admittedly call a very annoying bit based on this ride where just like in the middle of conversation or lulls of conversation just uh started saying well i guess we should explain first the two brothers sequence oh yeah this is a great sequence i knew this song in my heart when I heard it again. Yeah. So this is, it's,

the video portion of it is in Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln in Disneyland. Oh, it is? But not the animatronics. The animatronic is great. So, what,

I guess, We're at the Civil War. Yeah, so there's a Civil War sequence, start of photography. So here's when photos start showing up in the ride a family is sitting for a photograph and that one brother is uh anti-slavery and one is very

much pro-slavery yeah and and they're like stop fighting you're gonna ruin mom's birthday and she's like nothing could ruin my birthday yeah i've got both my sons here yeah really foreshadowing what's going to happen 45 seconds later yeah also i'd like to point out the part where like you know they're trying to be civil but then like one of them snips of the other you would say that johnny reb yeah this is when i was trying to like get back on the side of this ride, or this attraction, you end up with things like that. I'm like, I don't know. This is a struggle, this thing.

I wonder a lot watching it if we would accept these words from humans. Yeah. Are we just impressed because they're robots? Yes. We're allowing them to not be good at acting? Yes. Every segment in this is the ham-fisted-est version of this story.

And this is like, it's all these still photographs from the Civil War. The one brother's for the North, the one's for the South. And you see them in the photo at the beginning of the montage. And then at the end,

one of them is dead. And there is a song about like, two brothers gone to war. So that was the thing I would just do to annoy my family in the middle of conversations. Awful. Yeah, you're a terrible person for doing that.

You did sing that exactly like they sing it in the It's a really warbly In Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, it is the low point of the whole show. Isn't it weird that you're watching it in disneyland and it's a photo of robots who are only in disney world that's kind of a bizarre little they're not based on an actual photo i think it's a real i think it must be real actors but the actors look

exactly like the robots right um there's a lot of strange levels there. Mr. Brady. Oh, I wrote down the letter. A cannonball don't pay no mind. You're gentle if you're kind. It's just so... Oh, what a beautiful morning. Sorry, Aaron.

And before this, I guess this is also very odd fred like frederick douglas on that raft oh yeah and he's talking about how much he thinks uncle tom's cabin is going to turn it all around yes a book he did not write yeah he just he likes it and then it goes right to those brothers and one of them's like douglas is the kind of guy that got us into this yeah that's the first line of that to like transitionits was like whoa buddy also my association with frederick douglas is as an orator or an author not a guy cruising a raft through the bayou yeah that is very strange it is impressive they got this raft to move sideways because that's that's a thing i learned about this ride everything is underneath like the stage is

only like eight feet deep and everything else rises up or slides in from the sides. This is a question I had about how it's all put together. Where are all those robots? Because there's a ton of giant sets. Not just the robots, but they're also, here's Theodore Roosevelt on a big cliff. The World's Fair is really

crazy. There's four different characters. There's big gazebos. This is what the schematics look like and the blue is like all of the set pieces rise up from the ground under your seats in the theater this giant platform like as needed there's eight steps of this big platform and it scoots up and then the first performers come up the first mark Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin keeps moving. Some of the robots are on the side of the stage and they always stay where they are and just rise into position.

But this is like, yeah, the mechanics and the rigs and the hydraulics on this thing are insane. Do you think that they, as they were building this, ever entertained the idea that this would replace acting? Maybe they were probably worried ethically. Like, is this, yeah, in the in the way that like you know we're putting fred astaire in the vacuum commercial or whatever like is this what are we opening pandora's box will this be the end of entertainment as we know it or it was like a precursor to replacing like ford motor company employees with robots so it was just

like this is the early version of automation replacing humans. Oh, well, because everything's been mechanized for a long time, but maybe people miss that human touch and the idea that there's a lot of people in a factory, so they're going to have... Will Rogers duplicates making the car? Lots, many. Whoa. That would

be great. There's the spirit of America. Like robots working at McDonald's, but it's like Ray Kroc. All Ray Like robots working at McDonald's, but it's like Ray Kroc. Yeah. All Ray Kroc's at McDonald's. Or like Ronald or Grimace or something. Yeah. Sorry, McDonald's employees,

but I think this is better. You're out. Mike's eating animatronics everywhere. Yeah. I would. That's such a good idea that they should do. I'm into it. You want to talk about specific animatronics or sequences that we...

Can we talk about the song? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Please. Which song? Golden Dreams. Golden Dreams. Oh, yeah.

America. There's several types of wings mentioned. Wings of time, wings of change, and also golden wings wings except a lot of different wings in play in the song um what what are your feelings on the song i just i came in the time between i let like when i saw it as a child and saw as an adult they had added 9-11 yes that's where a lot of the changes have come well the animatronics got changed out in 93 still look pretty good more more lifelike uh and and then the song has been shortened and lengthened over the years and the montage that goes along with the song has changed who's the most recent animatronic like okay so

this show takes you all through american history that two brothers thing is the midpoint civil war and then who maybe it's uh i want to say like Theodore Roosevelt FDR and Will Rogers are the most recent ones and then past that point it's all movies and they Epcot will every decade or so

update the film at the end set to the soaring song Golden Dreams with like new inspiring Americans the last one is the ladies fixing the ship

oh like Rosie the Riveter Rosie the Riveter is the last one on Christmas Day and it oh yeah rosie the riveter on christmas day and it goes straight from that to america spread your golden wings and into 9-11 yeah yeah the 40s are it and then you're in 9-11 the golden dream starts with us winning world war ii and the rest is movie like 19 or 45 war ends in. To present. It covers 70 years. And they just added three new people to the,

do you guys have that? Yeah. The press release only listed three, but we watched it and there are more. The big ones that were mentioned were John Williams, Neil deGrasse Tyson is in there. But if you watch the whole thing, way to have the list.

They took out Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong. Their legacies have been a little tarnished since last updated, I believe. Louis, they took out Louis. Oh, yeah. Louis is gone. Kevin Spacey is gone. They're leaving Aziz for now.

We'll see. The 13 reasons why Arthur is gone. Neil LaButte is also no longer in it. Well, why was James Toback ever in it? Yeah. I don't know. Did he pay his way

into this montage? His robot is still on the ride, though. Yeah. Yeah, the James Toback author tries to pitch you on a new movie.

Oh, yeah, he has the passenger seat of his car driving around Queens. He presses up against you in his giant pants. On the way to dinner with Barry Levinson.

Did he really make Bugsy, Mr. Franklin? There's an Alec Baldwin animatronic outside defending him. I also like, so it ends though, after Golden Dreams,

it ends with, they're in the Statue of Liberty's torch. It's the two of them. It's the hands. Franklin and Twain. Franklin and Twain in the torch. It's incredible.

And they present the idea that maybe the biggest problem with America is that it's had too much success. Yeah. This leisure and free time? No empire has ever gotten past this. And Twain's like, I think we'll be just fine. Can you tell this was opened in 1982? Yeah.

Can you tell this was a Reagan era attraction? This is 20 years past the futurists who were like, in the future, everything will be automated. So we're going to have to come up with great new leisure activities because no one's going to have to work. And then by 82, it's already like, can't have too much leisure. Must work for these good companies.

I imagine a box where comedians can type funny jokes that they think of and observations, and they'll be able to do that and not beg senators to not kill them and save immigrants from being... It's going to stay real fun. There is a very oddly prescient exchange of dialogue,

which is, well, Mr. Twain, what do you think of our America now? Twain, well, our founding fathers never dreamed of an America like this. That zone is... No, they did not. No. They zone is fairly. Also, I want to point out the line. Boy, this one gets the loudest

Aaron Ugg of all. I may have invented these bifocals I'm wearing, but I can assure you they are not rose-colored. I cried because I didn't get to see this as a child. I couldn't watch the bifocals wisecrack they were both masters of quips I could not get to it

fast enough like I loved it so much and it's the farthest point it was the farthest point all the way across the many acres unless you enter from that other secret entrance or take the boat yeah that's what I mean my favorite attractions were always American Adventure Adventure Experience Adventure yeah boat yeah that's what my favorite attractions were always american adventure is an adventure

experience yeah adventure yeah um figment yeah yeah and pirates so i think i just liked animatronics yeah everyone and those all have many many animatronics there's a lot of them with personality yes yeah yeah the the pirates faces are so i think we've talked about that before. The pirates' faces, like, suggest character, more character than most human faces because they're slightly cartoonish. It's true. And there's also, like, I think animatronics really excel when it's, like, weird grouchy men, which obviously, you know, a dream finder is, he's a beardo. Like character actor men.

Like that's what robots, the best robots are like. That's just voicing them, typically. Yes. Some crusty oddball guy. This face isn't going to move that much. He doesn't feel like exerting the effort. Now I say that where in my mind, I think like the blockiness of a robot lends itself to lends itself to weird grizzled male animatronics.

But now I'm thinking about women. Do we think female animatronics are, in my mind, they're not as good. What am I arguing here exactly? You're arguing like a lot of old men built these attractions and did not make old men any better. We've got a woman chasing a pirate trying to kiss him. Yeah, well, they're pretty... She's pretty good in this. She's pretty good.

The women fixing the ship are pretty good. That one flips up her hood, which is pretty cool. Yeah, that looks cool. Her welding mask. Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah. She's cool. Are there any...

Are female animatronics attractive ever or is this the art for make them weird yeah you're right the red is attractive the rabbit is there one of those oh yeah the rabbit ride right I think they were concerned about it making everyone too horny I think you're right

you get like a aerial animatronic in the little mermaid ride oh sure yeah once I got rid of that spinning hair which was kind of weird like when it opened the hair You get like an aerial animatronic in The Little Mermaid ride. Oh, sure. Yeah. Once they got rid of that spinning hair, which was kind of weird. Like when it opened, the hair was... The hair was a whole controversy. Yeah, yeah. They fixed it up.

The original... Now is it Jennifer Tilly always in the globe, in the crystal ball? No, they never did that. There was talk of them doing that, but they didn't do it. Because I think she's very sexy, the woman inside the crystal ball. Oh, Madame Leota, yeah. But she's not a... She's a hologram.

Yeah. Well, Scott wants to just don't find the hottest animatronic. He's just trying to figure out what the- That's an episode we'll build, too. Yeah. Who's the hottest animatronic in the Disney community? We'll run out of topics, and we'll have to get to, like, that. Like, an issue of Maxim.

Another- Podcast ride for men. A line from The Torch that I do think is solid, the golden age was never the present age, which is helpful to remember because I feel like we've heard or seen people exclaiming the golden age of podcasting or the golden age of comedy right in the middle of it

where it's like that's the best way to declare things the golden age age of comedy right in the middle of it and where it's like that's the best way we're in it right now declare things the golden age when you have zero perspective on the current moment yeah declaring things to be the golden age and that they will last forever but this episode will be declared the golden this oh yeah this is as good yeah yeah this is the golden age of podcast the ride yeah it's only a slow decline from here. This is it. Spread your golden wings, everybody. Well, also, a couple other things to mention. The bizarre handshake.

Yes, that's the climax. That is the climax. That is the grand finale. That's the ball on Indiana Jones. That's the dinosaur on the Jurassic Park ride. That's the big finish. It's two robots shaking hands. Franklin and Twain sort of locking.

Do you think they touch? No, I mean, they don't. I think they can't. What an illusion it is. It's just two hands going like this. You know, it was better in the video. I wonder if they've plussed it up recently. It looked good in the video.

Yeah, it wasn't too bad. We made fun of it at the video. I wonder if they've plussed it up recently. It looked good in the video. Yeah, it wasn't too bad. We made fun of it at the time. It's also with this. Then the song kind of refrains and then they whisper to each other. Oh yeah, that was so weird. It seems like they're still having a conversation that we can't hear. It's like when news anchors keep talking

while the credits roll. They're not real. What are they talking about? Those little touches like the Trump robot rubbing his creepy fingers together. Oh, yeah. Like they're adding those human things. And then like looking mad at himself for doing it. Yeah. Yeah, what is that?

Yeah, that's how you take it. Do you want to go back in the torch and get the John Muir and Teddy Roosevelt animatronics and we'll just see what happens. Drink some scotch. Smoke some stogies. You know we have this place all night. I was like watching that just

so that's such a weird choice to have them just keep having a conversation. We know they are not humans. But to have them just sort of be like blah blah blah. Did they write fake Walla? Did someone write just sort of be like like did they write fake wallah like did someone write like what they would be saying and then or they just mouth open mouth closed is there logic probably if they imagine the imagineers are very nerdy weird guys so

they probably do have something they're saying so we could find out their mouths and like damn it darn you it's like it's like a pg-13 or they're like complaining about the house like oh the house wasn't very full tonight or like uh did you hear no one clapped no one clapped at golden dreams they did the check drop too early or good yeah good show old boy yeah another good. We do 12, 24 a day. See you on the next round, sir. I also think the way the gas station, the men sitting on the gas station,

which is a long sequence because it's the stock market crashes. The one guy sings, Brother, can you spare a dime? And then Pearl Harbor and Will Rogers. Yeah. So like they're listening to a lot. They spent a lot of years

listening on the old radio together. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny that it ties together. You think you're done with the gas station, and then Will Rogers finishes, and you go back. Will Rogers' stuff is like,

it's all folksy. He's complaining about how they're cutting the money for the Navy. Very specific grievance he has. It seems like we don't know how to fight a war till we get anyone yeah he's like what was what do we know about will rogers exactly was he the uh see the john stewart of his time it seems like people act like yeah like he was a real like he would he was a topical commentator and he would uh yeah he would be amusing and while he did it uh i think it's homespun wisdom somebody's got to bring back the

lasso trevor noah yeah you want a way to stand out in the crowded political rant game get a lasso out yeah last week tonight starts back up tomorrow what if john ol Oliver is just last week and never acknowledges Tom? Well, the DACA bill is controversial as ever. He was a member of this club in L.A. called the Breakfast Club, which would meet on Wednesday mornings and eat breakfast together. And it was like a social club that was supposed to be, I guess, be in opposition to like Masons. Okay. It was very, very popular.

It still exists and you can go to it and i i went recently and you eat breakfast it's a bunch of like senior citizens you have to sing old-timey songs with them and do a secret handshake where it's like eggs and bacon and you flip your hands over and then someone delivers like a lecture um you guys everyone should go to and we can it's open to the public yeah it costs like 10 or 15 dollars wow is it at the knots chicken dinner restaurant no it's it's it's in los feliz kind of uh and there's like a it's called the friendship auditorium which is specifically built for this thing oh yeah and it's kind of over by the like when river we're riverside and

los feliz cross and there's that fountain whoa wow yeah Yeah. Google the breakfast, LA Breakfast Club. Is it like libertarians? No, it's just weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. The history of it is so weird. They have like these old placemats with like all the codes. I think they were just like

really going hard on the masons. But all the things are still there and it's just so weird. It's so confusing and weird. And you have to sing like the Green Beret song and all this stuff i could do that yeah you guys would love it yeah yeah that's jason and we're talking about being becoming elks a while ago oh yeah joining because there's an elk like an elk's lodge or something like i would like to be part of a social club or like with old men yeah you can meet some old men. Yeah. I'd do it. Hear some stories.

Learn about the flat earth. Bore them with our theme park knowledge. Okay. I'll be able to ditch these two young men. These two nerds. You got to institute an age limit. I'm going to fake a very mild heart attack. He's still talking about Epcot Center. He just keeps asking

me about Walter Knott. I never met the guy. The one that's wrenching a girlfriend, but he seems like a real fucking virgin. He's lying. I'm gonna give him a Mad Magazine, maybe straighten his whistle out. I love children's cartoons like I'm going to give him a Mad Magazine, maybe.

Straighten his whistle out. I love children's cartoons like Mickey Mouse. I don't understand. Didn't get it from day one. What have we missed? You know, I don't want to move out of the attraction entirely, but don't forget, as all Epcot countries are, it's an entire pavilion with all kinds of restaurants and fun to enjoy. Why, in the American Gardens Theater, you can witness seasonal entertainment.

One time they had Lord of the Dance without Michael Flatley. It was a different, just a generic Lord of the Dance. There was a show called Barrage, which was a dance and fiddle show. So there's always something good happening. Sure, yeah. They perform the nativity there too, right? Yes, the Candlelight Processional, which is a, yeah, like a recitation of the nativity that happens here at Disneyland

at the railroad station, but in Epcot it's at the American Adventure. They get... I was thinking that it was usually like stars who were a little over the hill or a little more sea list, but Kurt Russell will do this thing. You'll watch Kurt Russell read the story of Christ's birth. Not bad.

I read, did it one year. Really? Yeah. Wow. They have a neglected group of people, like some people that have been associated with Disney and then just like, or no, I guess Chris Hemsworth did it out here. I was shocked by that. Chris Hemsworth.

Yeah. Doing the nativity. It's like kind of a thing. I think a cool thing, but like Neil Patrick Harris. I mean, obviously he's going to do it. He's a,

yeah, he's a nerd for this shit. I can't say no to that. Yeah. I think he's going to say no to it. No. Trust. Is this a thing we can campaign for?

Oh yeah. Maybe. Podcast the ride for nativity? He can't. And I remember there's a restaurant, right? There's like a counter service. I got that written down. Yeah, there's no sit down, but we got, oh, where is it?

Oh, we got the Liberty Inn. Get yourself a hot dog there. I feel like for a while they were trying foods from around the country so like you could get a Maryland crab cake or a Philly cheese steak I don't know if they're still doing that oh god

oh in the ride itself let's not forget those I wrote down those dumb ass statues statues that light up where it's like a seaman, a seafaring man who represents adventure and a doctor who represents compassion. Awesome.

Big Aaron hug on the statues. When a curtain rises and the big reveal is there's been a bunch of statues over here. I love how much Aaron hates this ride. She really does. She doesn't seem like she hates a lot of stuff. Oh, if she does. Yeah,'t seem like she hates a lot of stuff but like her. Oh if she does yeah she has there's no

poker face on her when she loves something she loves when she hates it she despises it. Like I had to like my mom I had to like turn the day around after that. How can I which I think probably it's easy in World Showcase just go on that maelstrom again. Oh yeah. Just go maelstrom for a couple hours and you're set there.

The attraction that made her the angriest it's a tie between american adventure and the armageddon experience in disney studios paris which was disney studios paris is just well at some point there will be the episode where i just rail against it's uh bad yeah i thought i think it's i think it's terrible and uh like the laziest park. And we were just like run down by the place in general. And then this Armageddon show. And you're like, we came all the way to Paris and here we are. Yeah. That's what you're feeling at all times.

You're half an hour away from this amazing city and we're here. There's a Planet Hollywood and an Earl of Sandwich, the place that we could just go. We avoid here. That's our best restaurant option. So Armageddon. Yeah, we'll just go avoid here. That's our best restaurant option. So Armageddon, yeah, we'll get to that one. There's a gift shop next to the American Adventure, and you can buy all sorts of things,

you know, little American flags. But here I have a picture from when we were there. You can purchase a nice photo of our current president, Donald John Trump. It's two photos. They have a couple. I think they have older, like they have Clinton and stuff too, but it's like,

it's a very cheap looking thing. It looks like a black piece of construction paper where like a white border. And then there's two photos, one of him in front of the White House looking very dour like he usually does. And then smiling to the point where he looks like he was Photoshop and then smiling to the point where

he looks like he was photoshopped smiling it doesn't look like his real smile uh because he is uh he can't smile smiles are rare yeah it's like the school photos yes where it's me looking head on and then one of me turned very slightly in another direction scott if your dad had never intervened can you see a world where you would have bought that? Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about how, like, yeah, there's possibly me at 32. I'm like, no, Mike, I hope that you're not planning on saying something derogatory about our president. Nothing but respect for my president.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except Bob, my dad's a big Trump guy, too. So, yeah, yeah. I could have been right there with him Do we add him to this too? Do we jam him into the American Adventure? Just jump right from I think he deserves to be in there

Rosie the Riveter Just try to Trump and then that's it Donald Trump We missed the 60s Donald Trump coming down the escalator Oh, that's good Yeah, yeah No JFK, nothing

No JFK Well, well, you know No Martin Luther King Jr. No Papists No nothing. No Martin Luther King Jr. No Papists. No Papists. No Catholics. An easy place to drop him in right next to Frederick Douglass saying what a great guy he was. That's an easy one.

He's continuing to do great work. I have a better. Okay, it's Mark Twain. It's Ben Franklin and Trump hosting the thing. Oh, great. The three of them. And then they can all comment and quip. Or he's Statler and Waldorf up in the balcony, railing and doing his classic zings.

Screaming that he doesn't know these people. He's never heard of them. It's Statler and Trump. It's one of the Muppets and Trump. Every now and then, Trump animatronic yells out, like, animator wanted to be the British ambassador. Or it's like, because he's not featured in the ride, Lincoln and Trump in the balcony.

Oh, yeah, sure. It's like a sports theater, and Lincoln is watching the American theater. And Trump knows what's about to happen because he's in on it. Or he just doesn't. He's never learned that history. Oh, that's true, too. It does happen. He freaks out.

The Lincoln animatronic. The terrible thing that's happened. This is horrible. No, it's funny. We history. Oh, that's true, too. It does happen. He freaks out. The terrible thing that's happened. This is horrible. Diners are there right away. No, it's funny. Wilkes Booth, though. Funny, Lincoln animatronics. Like, this is the first time I've been in a balcony in a while.

But then Wilkes Booth does it, and Trump is like, Wilkes Booth is still a pretty good guy, and I wish him well. I think that he was a fantastic actor, and I hope he acts again. John, careful on that jump. It's a long way down. You're going to hurt your leg again. There's great people on both sides of this assassination. Hey, both brothers.

I like both brothers. Why are you fighting? Both brothers are great. Edwin, come on. Come on here, Edwin. Well, I mean, maybe this takes us into plus-ups. Yeah. Any changes?

Anything we would do to this? Well, yeah. So you know the scale do we keep completely the same do we plus it up or do we burn it down for insurance money and build something else so who wants to

give their full assessment levity in the attraction I like this idea of wise cracks from the side I think I respect so much about this attraction, the technical achievement that it is and the great animatronics, but why does it have to be so just self-important

and heavy and ponderous? Although, let's be honest. Those wisecracks are not going to be good. No, they're not going to be good. I think this thing has to be more serious, honestly. I think that it should be more dour and more humorless. So they should take out the joke about how Carnegie Hall will never work. Yeah, yeah.

That's the closest thing. What does Twain say then after that? Like, libraries, that's the ticket. Or he says, when they're like, who's this Edison? He's like, oh, that young fellow who invented the phonograph. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Alexander Graham Bell's like clowning on Edison, right?

Yeah. Like, my telephone. It's very Billy Zane and Titanic sort of not knowing what'll happen comedy. Oh, yes. Well, he's a guy who thinks he's in his own golden age. Yeah. I actually thought, I forgot that was the Philadelphia Exposition, the Centennial.

I thought it was the Columbian Exposition. And to tie it back to a long ago episode, Colombian exposition, setting of the devil in the white city. Twain went to that one, saw the white city on the train ride in, then got violently ill and never left his hotel room

until he got on the train out. So never saw the Colombian exposition, never got lured to H.H. Holmes' murder house. Maybe for another podcast, but I went to the Shanghai exposition years ago. I went to like a legit world expo. There still are these things?

The next one's in Dubai. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. 2020 Dubai. You guys can save up. Yeah. Yeah. We can go to Lionsgate World. They have things you walk through.

They're like walk through dark rides. Whoa. It's so cool. We got, what'd you see? Any technology coming down the pike? It was like 12 foot robot baby in one room. I went through a pavilion called the Pavilion of Urbanian, which was, I don't know what it meant,

but China had built it to teach its own citizens about urban development. Wow. It was like a dark ride. It looked like it's a small world, but you walk through it. Wow. That's crazy.

This was not a biennale. This was not like an art thing. No, it's the expo. It is an expo. The expo still exists. Okay. And it moves, it's usually every two years, but it's in a different country every two years.

Last year it was in Kazakhstan. Geez. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Track the expo, guys. It's usually every two years, but it's in a different country every two years. Last year it was in Kazakhstan. Oh, wow. Track the expo, guys. It's very exciting. Well, we should. As we know, it's a part of theme park history. Yes. It's the 64 World's Fair.

Disney built all this stuff. Yeah. And Epcot is a permanent World's Fair. That's true. It's still very theme park-y. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's good to hear. Okay, it's not just kind of a dry conference. It's weird it's about exciting people you know oh geez cool that's awesome um

well yeah well i don't know what do we do you think you think keep it i think well more ponderous more pondering more ponderous i think that it should be i i felt so bad for the guy i was saying that human being trying to tell everyone i think it should be more like a school. You get kicked out if you talk in there. I think that it should be, you really have to listen. This is a lesson in American history and that you should respect the history

and the man. I think there should be no funny business when you walk into those doors. Jason, thoughts? I think, you know, watching this again, and I watched the Martin vids on it. We talked about this before.

It makes these documentary montages with a lot of the concept art and then usually a ride through. The one I watched of this included every version of the Golden Dreams ending, which was a lot to watch back to back.

But watching it a couple times through, regardless, I do think it's strange it jumps from, you know, from the Rosie the Riveter to like,

we win the war and there's a video and then you're out after the torch. So I would like just one or two more animatronic scenes in between the torch and the war. Like maybe someone walking on the moon. Maybe, I don't know, what else?

MLK. Yeah, maybe MLK. Yeah, that is strange they didn't have MLK in there. Oh, sure. Oh, Woodstock, yeah. Oh, the Disney-ified Woodstock. Nixon, Nixon resigning. like yeah that is strange they didn't have okay in there oh sure woodstock yeah disneyified nixon resigning well nixon getting on the helicopter because nixon up the helicopter stairs i want more i just want more stairs in every single one of these oh yeah it's got to be history's greatest moments on stairs uh nixon what i now i had a different idea because nixon

gave the i am not a crook speech in the contemporary hotel in Orlando and Disney World so I think you put that just see put that scene there where it happened you just put a talent you can watch that speech I think yeah moments with Mr. Nixon yes hidden like pig pen yeah yeah away from

the rest of the basement of the contemporary hotel there's a picture of Nixon and Kissinger walking through Epcot, like with Spaceship Earth in the background. Oh, yeah. Very weird artifact. Well, and Reagan and Bush, this video, both of them giving speeches out in front of that American Adventure.

Oh, yeah. There's a really crazy performance of a song called Thousand Points of Light in one of these old specials, sung by every president's automatic favorite singer lee greenwood trump strangely silent on the subject of lee greenwood until this year but i believe trump always loved lee greenwood his entire life always a big fan uh uh but the uh yeah yeah maybe let's acknowledge disney world's part in history yes uh yeah bush is famous let's get robots of lee greenwood sing nixon uh and dream finder what dream finder dream finder yeah nixon meant hello figment

is that his child or just a child i can't i don't know like a child for a photo op they just handed him a child you gotta put that online yeah. Yeah, I gotta put that. Wow, that's incredible. Yeah, well, I agree. Watch a really hokey Steve Jobs scene, because that's the thing. New history loves to do Steve Jobs in the garage inventing the computer, the Disney-ified. And he probably still talks in that Franklin kind of way.

It's called a personal computer. I believe everyone will have one of these in their pockets. And instead of listening to Will Rogers, he's listening to Sam Kinison or who would it be? Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it goes to a Bill Hicks animatronic.

Oh, yeah, we need some Bill Hicks in this. Give him the real stuff. I got it from here, Chief Joseph. Look, this entire show has been bullshit, okay? Yeah, hey, maybe that's not a bad thing. You can get a Bill Maher in there. Oh, yeah. Howard Zinn.

Is that the guy, the People's History of the... Yeah, let's get some dissenting voices. Oh, yeah. Howard Zinn. Is that the guy, the people's history of the... Yeah, let's get some dissenting voices. Yeah, yeah. Another perspective. Yeah, yeah. Fractured takes on history. Yeah. I don't know.

What else? Do you have any thoughts about the future of the American adventure? Burn it to the ground. Nobody's really said that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just burn it to the ground. Nobody's really said that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just burn it to the ground. We don't need it anymore.

Hey. Sure. Yeah. Oh, you do something new. The American Adventure is over. Yeah, it's over. We don't deserve it anymore. It's like it's too optimistic.

Burn it to the fucking ground and make kids watch it burn. They're not going to care. It should be like an eternal flame. It's just the thing is always that the building's always on fire. All right. Film the animatronics faces melting

as they scream. This is what I get for being optimistic. Right. It's an American pastime. Even those who overcame it are proud of their humility. The flaming lasso lights the curtains on fire.

Climbs up slowly. It's on fire first and reaches his hands. Yeah, this is the best version of the show is them all burning. But don't you gotta jailbreak the good guy? You gotta get Chief Joseph out of there. You gotta let him run away laughing. Frederick Douglass, Chief Joseph,

and the black guys in the garage all get out. They all get to piss oil onto the. Hydraulic fluid. Katie Stanton. Is that who it is? Susan B. Anthony. Susan B.

Anthony. She gets out too. And everyone else just burns. All the white men burn. Yeah. She has a zipper. She has a grab plate. She just goes up.

Like Mary Poppins. Rosemary Leder gets her from behind. They zoom out. All the minorities and women escape and the white men burn. But where do they go? Do they go to other rides? Yeah, they gotta get to other rides. Do they all just get their own

boat on the maelstrom? They're in the Mexico ride. Just confusing it. Sam and Coco are just waving at the end. Is Coco there now? Not yet. There's rumors. depending on how well it goes. Doesn't look like it's going to happen, though. Doesn't look like it's going to happen. Oh, really?

Did Coco not do well? Didn't do as well as they hoped it would do. To justify putting in two robots? Into a ride. Yes, right. They don't live in an apartment with some Swedish teenagers. They live in the house in Hollywood Studios. Moms and dads.

They get waited on hand by a mom, but they talk back a little. Hey, I'll eat how I want to eat. I'll put my elbows where I want to. I earned it. I had to live in the American adventure. Yeah, they teach mom a little something about tolerance.

And maybe they get her out of the house and working again and pursuing her dreams that she is stifled to serve meatloaf all day. Let's liberate those moms. That is interesting that there was no like summer of love, that the baby boomers who built this managed to restrain themselves from having a summer of love sequence in it. Maybe they were too close to it.

Yeah, civil rights, anything. Yeah. They didn't want to put controversial stuff in there, Jason, you know? They didn't want to rile the average audience. You know what I think? Okay, we'll still burn it down, but before we do, let's just add one section for the last year, which is get Franklin and Twain off of the torch,

and let's put Hendrix on there, wailing the starangled banner hell yeah up on up next to the flame next to his friend charles manson yeah where was charles manson i guess he hadn't been caught yet by the time they started blue skying this ride all horrified like all right let's not work any overtime it's still uh benjamin franklin the first animatronic to climb upstairs charles manson the first animatronic to thought like all right let's not work any overtime it's still a Benjamin Franklin the first animatronic to climb upstairs Charles Manson the first animatronic to paint in

blood on a wall Helter it goes right from like like from Rose of the River to the LaBianca murder the final you watch the final stabs and then like all right it's done.

Now we just wait for that race war to happen any minute now. It's Richard Coldenberg. These are jokes, but this is the American adventure. That is true. It has all the parts. Yeah, that's all part of this. There's no Warren Beatty hitting on mia farrow at the ground derby yeah patty hurst yeah patty hurst woody allen exiting a lobby with suny

in arm the boat like queen of scottsdale the class the robert wagner boat scene. This is the American adventure. This is what it is. The low speed OJ Simpson chase. Yes. This brought us together as a nation. A cubicle jockey from Enron just going, what do you mean my pension is worthless now? The sex flame that Trump and Clinton were both on.

Yeah, Jeffrey Epstein's sex plane. Yeah. And the sex island. Although I guess that's, the sky is international sky, so maybe that's not American Adventure. If anybody was spreading their golden wings, it was those guys. That's true.

What's her name? The Florida, the four of them. Catherine Harris. Catherine Harris holding up a hanging chad. Yeah. For this update, we built the biggest hanging Chad that's ever been

constructed. Michael Jackson dangles blanket out of a window. Oh, that would be the new shaking hands

moment on the ride. That would be the true climax. Oh, the cast and crew of Master of Disguise learning about 9-11. Did that happen?

Yeah, it's on their IMDb page. There's a moment of silence. They were filming the turtle club scene. It was literally the turtle scene? I think so. It came up on a Doughboys podcast. Oh, really? Okay. So Dana Carvey

in turtle costume in sadness about 9-11 descending into the suit and then descending back into the floor. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I like this. So we do all those and then we burn it to the ground. One last year, just like guns blazing.

Give us the keys. Just give us the keys and endless animatronic money. Do we keep gold? I think, is it just regular golden dreams or do we gotta keep the song yeah they make it even longer every year it gets aggressively longer animatronics we couldn't add go into the golden dreams like montage yeah and lee greenwood uh does a verse now they had a lee greenwood verse to it and uh and uh what what's the uh three doors down there and yeah yeah they rip a solo um uh they're the house band they're just there always it's the real three doors down oh also of course in the montage we didn't even mention of course walt's in the film montage yeah and walt is also in the lobby of the Hall of Presidents now.

Like, there's a little corner to, like, here's some Walt stuff. And it's like, yeah, you got Walt, and he wasn't a president, but let's put him in the lobby. Basically. Yeah, he was a president. They also have Elon Musk, who certainly has done all of his work in America, but did not live in America until 18 or so. So I don't know. Look, I'm not... That's not the argument to make that somebody's not American.

I don't know. Is that weird? I think it's a little premature to put Elon Musk. He might be a villain. They might have to burn this place. Well, there you go. He starts the fire. We build an Elon Musk animatronic. Elon Musk and Peter Thiel light the fire together.

If being weird and shitty disqualifies you from being in a Disney park, then there's plenty of people that need to get kicked out. So I'm going to say Elon Musk belongs there already, no matter what he's about to do. Because Walt Disney's there. Well, we can't get into that. No, don't say that about Walt. We won't joke about anything except for Walt.

You're all his man, a perfect man. Yeah, he was great. You're upsetting nine-year-old Scott big time. So let's end this before we take a dark turn. Eva Anderson, you've survived Podcast The Ride. Oh, I'm so delighted. This was a blast. Thanks for having me.

Yeah, thanks for burning america to the ground with us is there anything you'd uh uh anything you'd like to plug uh any you do any like or do you do effed up stand up that we can i wish i don't i don't have anything to plug right now huh all right yeah yeah do you want people to follow you on Twitter? Oh, yeah. I'm on Twitter at EvaFay, E-V-A-F-A-Y. All right.

Yeah, yeah. Cool. Check her out there. Check us out at Podcast of the Ride on Twitter and all the other things, but we don't do as much

on the other things. Twitter is where it's at. Maybe someday soon we'll embark on our greatest adventure, three men in their 30s trying to figure out what people like on Instagram. Trying to figure out what young people use instagram for that's what

we're gonna spread our golden wings and the new podcast mama mama's boys what's that oh yeah maybe it's jace it's not real not theme park based yeah uh yeah we learned about the works of James Patterson and Agatha Christie. And, of course, Forbidden Broadway. There's another forbidden podcast, The Ride, the parody that we do of our own podcast. It'll be real cheeky. You can help us write the book, Eva. Glad you're in on this already.

I'm in on it. Great, wonderful. All right, hey, thanks for listening. Spread your golden wings and fly fly fly America, spread your golden wings Sail on freedom's wind across the sky Great bird with your golden dreams Flying high, flying high Restless one in a world of change

Keeping dreams and love in the rain Spirit free Of time Of time America You must keep dreaming now Dreaming the promise now Of your pioneers America

Keep on flying now Keep your spirit free Facing new frontiers And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you,

but what together we can do for the freedom of man. I have a dream this afternoon that the brotherhood of man will become a reality in this day with this faith. 40 feet down, two and a half. Picking up some dust. Four forward. Four forward. Drifting to the right a little. Contact light. Okay, engine stop. We copy you down, Eagle. Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed. America, spread your golden wings. Sail on freedom's wind across the sky Great bird with your golden dreams Flying high, flying high Flying high, America America America

America America Bye.