Podcast: The Ride - The CityWalk Orlando Saga: Malltiverse of Madness 3 - 2 with Jayne Claire

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

This sector of CityWalk has a Burger King and a tattoo parlor. Pretty cool. Jayne Claire (Stylist) returns to PTR and helps us make sense of it all. Phase 3, Sector 2 contains: BK Toppings Bar Panda Express Moe’s Southwest Grill Hart & Huntington Tattoos To level up your Saga experience with bonus and ad-free episodes, subscribe to Podcast: The Ride’s Club 3 at  patreon.com/podcasttheride.  FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! When your town has made you frown When your square has made you swear When life gives you one more punch You need a donut soaked in Captain Grunch You need a place, a place to stroll with alcohol. A place that features part of the Berlin Wall

where steampunk robots sell chocolate snacks. A place where you can tattoo your lower back. So let's go take a walk. Let's all go to CityWalk Orlando tonight. Tonight. Podcast to Ride presents

the CityWalk Orlando Saga. Multiverse of madness. A daily, extremely necessary series exploring the shops, restaurants, and cosmic wonder that make up Universal CityWalk Orlando. Welcome to Podcast The Ride, The CityWalk Orlando Saga. I'm Jason Sheridan, joined by Mike Carlson.

I'm here. It is the multiverse of madness, of course. The multiverse of madness. Yes. Scott Kerriner. Yo. Hey. We're getting through it. We're getting through it. And we're deep up. We're still up in the weird up the stairs and ramps zone.

Lest you thought we were moving back down the weird stairs and ramps. Maybe the most weirdness is up at the top. Yeah, I think that's right. And, you know, Joker comes up a lot on this podcast, but I feel like we'll be all dancing up and down the ramps like Joker by the end of this episode, perhaps. I mean, yes, the events of this got me Joker-fied. That's what I'm saying. For sure.

Let's do the full roundup. Who's around today? Well, our guest today, my love, my love. My love. That's how you introduce. That's my iconic line. We say all the time around the house in acknowledgement to Mike's my love.

That's how I do it. It's a stylist, Jane Clare. Oh, hey, what's up? Okay, just some housekeeping first really quick. Okay. So number one, I just want to address, I have seen some comments online about my previous episodes

and I just want to say, I know you guys think that I talk too much and cut the boys off, but yes, of course, that is exactly right. Men should be speaking the least amount possible all the time, so I do stand by that. And second, we need to address little because i want the trademark i want the residuals little is just how i say that word my whole life i say

mittens and i say little and all of a sudden it's this thing and i just i need that to be like known and you need some closure no i just need attention credit fair enough all right attention at first i wasn't that mad and then i was like okay i just said it once and now it's a whole thing and i feel like it's associated with jason and i'm like uh-uh no my whole life so right anyway just getting that like out of the way at the top. There's the phrase, get that bag. There is the bag that awaits at the end of little. The little bag. It's a little bag, but it's so full.

And you've got to get that bag. Always get the bag. There's so many residuals. There's so much weight. People are saying, this is nationwide. This is international now. Especially when Jason says it, should he credit you after every little? I want you guys to say little and then say Jane.

Jane Clear. You have to. Really quick. You signed it. You're instituting Matt Groening signs, Simpsons art. In the future, if we say it, we got to give you a quick. Okay. Okay, great.

Is the speed okay or do I need to slow that down? Oh, speed is whatever. Okay, okay. Just as long as it's there. Dealer's choice. Okay, okay, great. Nice, nice. We can do that.

Now, let's summon our dear friend. Oh, yes. Please, yeah. We have multiple beings here. Say hello to our little friend. Our little friend. Jane Clare. Jane Clare, is he here?

Boys, boys, Jane. So good to see you. How are you? What's up, boys, Jane. So good to see you. How are you? What's up, man? Welcome back. Good to see you all. Yeah, you all know each other because you've been staying with the two of them. I've been staying with Jason and Claire.

Yeah, thanks for letting me shack up Garfield Rules. Thanks for taking him out so much. It helps a lot when you take him out. It's the least I could do. Like, you know, I made a chore wheel. Yeah, yeah. He's yeah very responsible house guest yeah so we we all spin the wheel every sunday after mass okay yeah yep is that how a chore wheel works you spin it like it's a wheel of fortune isn't it usually just yeah no this one you spin like wheel of fortune oh Oh, okay. Yeah, there's a lot more Jason slices on that

than Sector Keeper slices, though. Well, you live there. I mean, I guess that's true. I'm really confused by this wheel. This wheel is a Wheel of Fortune wheel with your names on it. It's our names on it. Wait, are chores and names, or is it just names and then you call out a chore before you spin it?

You call out a chore, then you spin it, and you can land on Jason, Claire, or I'm sorry, Jason. It's okay, people do it all the time. You call out a chore then you spin it and whoever, you can land on Jason, Claire, or I'm sorry, Jason. It's okay. People do it all the time. You can call me Claire. It's okay. No, no, no. Like literally everyone calls me Claire and I'm like, it's fine. Jason, Jane, or Claire. Yep. Okay.

So she's got two. She's a little bit of a disadvantage. Garfield, Sector Cooper. Okay. Bankrupt Oh you can get bankrupt from this chore wheel? Lose a turn Oh wow And then

Like every other week we put a little Trip to Aruba on No one ever gets that one We've never landed on it though We've never landed on it It's like a pie cut into 32 pieces. Yes. Okay.

The day when Garfield has to make the bed, that's a tough day for everyone. Yes, that's a long day. Or if Garfield has to take Garfield out, good luck. Oh, but we have to obey the wheel. It's the only way he gets out the front door and then just lies on the mat and just goes to sleep for like four hours okay well next to jason yeah that's my mat and if i try to take up more he growls at me i mean that is actually really accurate yeah he's been very, we call him Gronkle.

Oh, Mr. Gronkle from Busy World of Richard Scarry. He's the irritable warthog who lives in the big house down the street. Sometimes Garfield, like if you get too close, he just goes, like these little annoyed growls. So we go you go on gronkle mode are you gronkle so mr gronkle is the animals talking that they're all animals right yeah yeah i forget i've never seen the show okay you never seen that show i don't think so well they have i've seen the book but i didn't see this yeah i've seen like i know what they look like

well they had that king's island um like cedar fair crossover i thought there was a richard when i was younger king's island yeah there was a Richard Scarry. When I was younger. Kingsman, Kings Island. Yeah, there was a slight Richard Scarry presence. Because we lived in Ohio when I was younger. And so I was like really into that. Yeah, it's a cute show. Look, I'm happy to watch it. What was the presence in the parks?

I'm not sure. It was mostly a restaurant where you could get personal pan pizzas. But that's where Richard Scarry is like, everybody's got their little jobs. Yeah. So Jason's in their dreams. He's like, ooh, maybe my job could be a pizza eater.

Yeah. Is Richard Scarry like a thing where they try to like, put like capitalism in your head? Like you need a job? Or is there some sort of propaganda there? Probably a bit. Yeah. I think it's more about community and trying to go like,

this person needs this job and they will help you like this is how this person this is a crossing guard and we are learning that he helps us do this it's actually really cute okay get your daughter on it i think she'd love it i i'm open to all the shows all the shows i hear i need to teach to show her yeah one day she's like, Daddy, why isn't Podcaster in this show? Is it a kind of job people are ashamed of? I'll excuse myself and I'll cry in the bathroom. Why isn't there a Podcaster that's a rabbit, Daddy? His ears wouldn't fit under the headphones.

That's the only reason why. Otherwise, I'm sure they'd love to put it in. Close that book. Kick it out of her hand. The book was old. The job didn't exist yet. It's dated. It's dated.

The cartoon's square. It's four by three. It's old. It's irrelevant. Not like podcasts. I go in the office and I'm animating by hand a Richard Scarry short with a rabbit that podcasts. Here it is. It's a flip book.

Here it is. Look, he's got a dirty microphone. He's the happiest animal in Busytown. Here's his MacBook Pro. This rabbit is uploading his podcast to Megaphone right now. See? Loving it. As for this this podcast just for the happy rabbits

that all of us are today uh let's why don't we get the official assignment of today's sector yes yes boys boys jane today's sector is phase three sector two bk whopper bar panda express Copper Bar, Panda Express, Moe's Southwest Grill, and Heart and Huntington Tattoos. Ooh, getting inked up, boys. Yeah, yeah. I bet people, if you know what's at CityWalk Orlando, you're probably like, one of the weird things is that there is a tattoo place. I wonder how that will be handled in the series. And I think we'll close out with that. But just let that tantalize.

I know. And see you guys getting some fresh ink. Yeah. Well, there'll be a big reveal later of maybe of some ink. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Three good boy tramp stamps. Jason has a wimpy burger tramp stamp.

He actually does. How did you know that? He had it before this, though. That was before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't from there. They had to work around that. But we got another big thing up here.

The food courts. I don't know if they officially use this term anymore, if it's on a sign or anything. But at least when it opened, they called this the Top of the walk food court uh opened in 2009 kind of a later edition i think there were not a bunch of quick service options and uh you know this this was a fun thing to hit and i i it seems like jane some genuine enthusiasm about from you about some of the establishments in the top of the walk food court yeah oh i speak okay sure if you want don't have to um yeah so i love moe's southwest grill um because that's a chain and they had it in the midwest when i lived there um a little bit growing up and then of course they have them in florida and they have like amazing tofu that you can get um and you

know when I was in like high school and stuff I was I've been a vegetarian for a very long time so when I was younger I was like oh cool tofu this was still kind of a new thing back then um and yeah so it just became a place that my you know me and my mom would go a lot and um so whenever I see one I get really excited because they don't have any here. That's true. Yeah, not in California, really. I know them primarily from airports. You know, they're cities.

The Orlando International Airport specifically. Which we were talking about. We were just talking about that. We had like, oh, pretty good experience with that one a few years ago. I was so stoked. I was like, Jason, oh my God, there's a Moe's. I have to go. And I was like bolted off and he was like, okay, goodbye.

I'll see you in a few minutes. You ran away from him to get to Moe's? I mean, for queso. All right, well, for queso then. For queso. That's a good choice to make. So yeah, so I was so jazzed and then, you know. But yeah. But, yeah.

Extremely disappointed. You don't. A food establishment in CityWalk? Are you crazy? This can't be true. No way. The CityWalk saga and food disappointed someone? The running theme for this food court and sector in general, it's complications.

Sure. So basically, we ended up, I think the goal here was to end up with doing a little potluck. Let's all grab little things from all of the great food court establishments and have a nice little

picnic. So Moe's was your clear call, which I was glad about. I'm like, I don't know who's going to be passionate about Moe's was your clear call, which I was glad about. I'm like, I don't know who's going to be passionate about Moe's of the group. Wait, are you talking about this one? That's where we went to BK, though. Oh, right, right. I didn't do Moe's then. Oh, you're right. Separately, you did Moe's. Separately, I did it twice.

Wow. Oh, there were two visits. Wow. Yeah, I don't know why. I had such faith for the second time. Yeah, wait, was the first one bad and then you went back? The first one was, like, fine, and the second one was like a train wreck. This gives me strength. Whenever you all return to a shitty food place. I was really just thinking of you.

Thank you. Yes, you seemingly do it constantly. I was going to say, you take after your boyfriend in this way. Episodes worth of complaints. Oh, but we're going back on Tuesday. Look, look. Okay. You only get one million chances, chain restaurant.

Million strikes and you're out. I have to shout out the fact that unlike the bar in the Simpsons, Moe's is not named after a man named Moe. Did you know this as a Moe's fan? Do you know why Moe's is Moe's? Is there something about rock and roll? It used to be like a more rock and roll based place. And when you walked in, they used to all go

welcome to Moe's. Like it was a whole thing and they like really really stopped doing that pretty quick. No, I'm not kidding and it was like fun. It was like, yeah, they said it. It was like a party, yeah. Moe's is an acronym. Moe's is, you're right, it is rock and roll oriented. It is like, yeah, they said it. It's like a party, yeah. Moe's is an acronym. Moe's is, you're right, it is rock and roll oriented. It is musicians, outlaws, and entertainers.

Is this Southwest? The sector keeper flew out of his chair when he heard this. You can't just call it Moe. It's got to mean something. Jeez. I didn't know I could die twice. Well, yeah, because they used to. I would have never guessed

in one million of my eternal years that's what it stands for. Sorry, musicians, outlaws, and entertainers. Musicians, outlaws, same thing. Well, because they don't do it anymore, they totally changed everything, but they used to have big posters of famous... They would have...

I remember the big Bob Marley one for some reason. They had a big Bob Marley, probably Madonna. It was a whole thing, which made more sense. Musician, musician. And then... Outlaw. Well, Madonna also an entertainer I would say and a style

outlaw so you would have to break the rules you have to be all three things to be on the wall like Billy the Kid Jesse James

I don't remember Robert Blake he was up there in the outlaw yeah there's a poster of jason says wanted dead or alive at moses i answered too many chip refills oh free chip refills okay that's good and that was so exciting to me when i was younger because bottomless chips free when you're in high school

whatever the uh i will tell you why those stopped existing Jane why there aren't rock and rollers represented it was due to a lawsuit from the estate of Jerry Garcia really ultimately Moe's were the outlaws themselves for not asking for image

likeness clearance so yeah no rocksters represented at the city well there's not a lot of walls to work with anywhere anyway may i may i speak about the second time we went back and when scott yes wasn't yes yeah um so i was like i'm gonna give it one more try because like i love this and you know i don't get a lot of chances to go here what was wrong the first time just like just fine not the most you it was just like not it yeah like it just was like not it but you were like oh okay it's a theme park but like second time i go back it's later at night so there are a bunch of like new hired teen 20 somethings that clearly do not give a fuck about literally anything and

there's one like older guy who's clearly the manager who's like trying to keep things afloat but knows he's got a bunch of fuck offs just like there and so stuff is like kind of getting low for the end of the night and i was like i would love a tofu burrito and this one kid was like yeah we don't have any more of that and i was like okay um can i get this and like yeah we don't have that either and the guy's like hey go make some tofu and the kid's like um and the guy's like just go fucking make some tofu okay so then he starts making my burrito but it takes so long for the tofu to cook that by the time it comes out he had to make a new burrito because it was like all like soggy and fucking gross and then like the people are

just like you know fucking around and stuff and the guy's like kind of trying to save it and i there were some substances involved how much am i allowed to say that all of it yeah i guess all okay um i was high and i don't know if we had drinks but i was definitely high and um i was like you guys suck i was like talking to the manager i was like this fucking sucks this is the worst most i've ever experienced right now and i'm like this really fucking sucks right now and he was just like okay i'm sorry and i was like i texted the group but i said because i was kind of on one and also like on one and i said more mess at moe's and scott said what why and i said new hires making burritos wrong and manager taking over no tofu left and the employee was like sorry all gone and manager was like no

do it and they had to restart making mine i'm done y'all with an upside down smiley face and they were so mad they had to open a new thing of rice and jason's like jane fucking stop texting this but i was so like enraged this is the best part of the story well she had sent me to this image of like just the end of the night like fucked up looks like you'll get food poisoning wait i wasn't done yet okay okay and it's almost over and then scott said everything broke today game over and i said my spirit included there was also some point and i forget whether they said this you or me but we asked about like salsa verde oh yes and yes. And they were like, oh, we don't make that anymore.

It goes bad too quick. Like not enough people order it. I was like, that was one of my favorite things at Moe's too. So I was quickly like, are you fucking kidding me? And then I was like, do you have this other sauce? And they're like, no. What is this? So do you think that other Moe's,

would they carry salsa verde? Yeah, it's like a standard thing. So you think maybe this location is just like the teens were lying because they were lazy. It's like an ice cream machine McDonald's situation where sometimes they go, oh, we don't have like 11 p.m. You want an ice cream cone?

They go, that's not on. And this is a common thing that happens. Well, no, because it was the first time I found that out. Yeah. Things weren't as crazy. Interesting. By the way, how common is that for you, Michael? Certainly happened a few times.

Yeah, that's happened to me a lot. That ice cream machine being broken. Because they use like a proprietary ice cream machine and it's very difficult to repair. But you're believing them with the broken? That's a lie. Well, it's a lie, but then sometimes it is also true because they're paying the ass to write.

How do you know? Do you go back and check it? Yes. I've done some research. Yes, he does. This is a thing in the... I have read about the perpetually broken. Yeah, yeah.

But you think all of it? You think systemically it's a lie? I think a lot of the time they're saying, it just doesn't work. It's hard to clean, right? Yeah, and it's just like... It's very difficult to clean. Especially because by the end of the night,

you're not getting so many orders necessarily unless it's probably like near a venue where you get a bunch of drunk people. So it's just easier. Or just a sober Mike who wants some ice cream. A little treat. Of course. Or some sober treat, boys.

Jason walks in 11 p.m. to a McDonald's in like overalls and a hard hat with a little tool belt and a tackle box of tools, whatever you call that they say oh sorry it's not working and they go not yet and you go and you just move that thing up on the counter and you walk by anytime i see one of those counter hinges i'm like let me in there let me in there my man what do you call the thing under the car when you go under it

like you're you're on like the little dolly thing yeah you get under the machine like with there with the wrench and it sounds like he's chasing tires at the nd 500 grease all over your face yeah yeah he's doing it with that speed all right 26 seconds i'll get a shorter next time let's go and then the employee next day is like oh yeah so the ice cream repairman came in and the manager goes, what? What are you talking about? The guy with the overalls. We tried to pay him, but he said no, no. The joy is all mine. Love of the game. He goes, you already paid me and he licked his cone.

He filled up his toolbox with ice cream and left. He had toolbox of ice cream. He licks the wrench, licks the wrench licks the screwdriver the um here's the results of my photo search uh one is um jane making like the the in an iron maiden shirt making like the rock and roll oh yeah this is where i am definitely you know having a good time this is but i think this is before any of this has happened because you have not

been taught to be soured on this particular Moe's yet this is right after they said welcome to Moe's welcome to Moe's we don't make the kind

of sauce you like anymore no they didn't say it fuck this place they didn't even yeah they didn't even acknowledge me they were talking

to each other and then I walked up and they were almost like what do you think they were did you say 20s like how you thought they were teens or 20s something like that i have no reference of age anymore because everyone looks kids look old adults look young i fucking have no idea some podcasters look young too some podcasters look half their age or lower. If you're tall, you're old. Thank you.

That is how I feel. Hey, wait. Hey, that's a biggest slam on Mike. Hey, wait. Those are my rules. What part of now listen to all of Olivia Rodrigo's guts do you not understand? Yeah. Jane, you have the rock and roll spirit,

but I immediately am grimacing at the sign that says, we built this city on guac and roll. I like that sign. I'm also not super fond of while my cheese gently weeps. It doesn't rhyme. That one I don't like, but the first one I like. Wait, I don't get that one.

It's while my guitar gently weeps, but then it doesn't, cheese doesn't rhyme, and I don't want my cheese weeping. Yeah. It's a Beatles song. It's a Beatles song. I'm not a Beatles kid. Sure.

Now, the Beatles are old. That one, that we know for sure. Some are dead. And some, and others. The ones that aren't old. At least two of them are dead. And one. Oh, no.

By the time this comes out. Oh, crap. Oh, no. Did we just kill a Beatle? Take it out. Take it out. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that maybe covers Moe's, unless you have more Moe's thoughts. Oh, no. Should we just kill a beetle? Take it out. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that maybe covers Moe's unless you have more Moe's thoughts.

No, I went back to last night. We were there. You went back again, Jason. I know. I hadn't eaten there. I just tried to get, I just got like a bean burrito with like,

I just needed some protein. But you heard what happened to your girlfriend. I know, but there was nothing else. Like, everywhere else was crowded. Well, you're also trying your girlfriend. I know, but there was nothing else. Everywhere else was crowded. Well, you're also trying to be like, well, she loves this.

You're trying to have shared interests. Would she? Yeah. I was trying to eat healthier. So you went to the place that made your girlfriend? No, she was fine. I don't think it made her sick. Look, I eat crap and shit all the time. Yeah. I got she was fine. I don't think it made her sick. Look, I eat crap and shit all

the time. Yeah. Wait, were you saying I eat crap and shit? That's what you eat? Or was one of those that you shit after eating the crap? Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Okay, sure. Okay. Depends. Great clarification.

So Jason went anyway. And you liked your meal? No. It was not amazing. It was not amazing. It was just, again, I just needed some. What did you get? I just got like bean rice and cheese and steak or something simple.

And like whatever salsa they had left. And this was late. It was the end of the night. Yeah. You just got end of the night salsa, which five minutes ago you showed us a photo of and said how gross it looked. Well, I think part of that was that it's like, you know, they could have used a white down on that counter.

It's picked over. Yeah, it was picked over. They know the emptiness of the empty Chipotle or whatever. Yeah, it's a breeding ground. All right. So your household kept going back, even's a breeding ground. All right. So your household kept going back even though it was bad

the first time. That's the magic of these places, though. Isn't it? The draw. You want to try it again. The city of spirit. Roll the dice.

Lady Luck. Is she on your side tonight? That's what all of it's about. It's so fun to go to a place that you know is always good in quality. Where's the game in that? That's nothing an outlaw would do.

Lady Luck, a place I only went to once, the BK Whopper Bar. Let's talk BK Whopper Bar. Let's talk Whopper Bar. Now, I've been looking forward to this as an aspect of this. I feel like I clocked the opening of the BK Whopper bar as kind of a – we've come across it here and there. We've talked about things that were there at the opening of City Whopper. Then they kind of got like a refresh of a lot of stuff in the late 2000s. And one of them being this.

And I remember hearing about that and going, that's such a cool idea. Yes. Not just a Burger King, but a totally customizable customizable you can make an insane Frankenstein Whopper creation. That sounds nuts. That doesn't sound like you look at it and it seems like any Burger King on Earth. It's indistinguishable from a regular Burger King. It just has windows so you can see the lettuce before it gets on the burger. That gets on the burger.

That's basically the difference. Wow. Right? I mean, right. They say you want a revolution. It's like a Baskin Robbins. It's like a Baskin Robbins, but Burger King.

We were just at Baskin Robbins two days ago. The one over here where they train people? Yeah. The dry throat. Yes. There's a big sign, like poster that's,

what did it say? Milkshakes. And we pulled up and we're like, hi, could we have that when you're done with it? Yeah, what do you guys

do with those signs? Because he was like, I kind of love that. Was that an impression of yourself or Jason? Both. It's us being a little grimy. Oh, you would like that poster.

Yes, both of us. And they were like, corporate, they don Oh, you would like that poster. Yes, both of us. And they were like, corporate? They don't think corporate would like that very much. And we were like, oh, OK. But we were like, I was like, do you want me to ask? He's like, no, no. And then I was like, I'll see what the vibe is when I get up there. And there was this cool girl who was complimenting my sunglasses.

And I was like, OK, she's like a cool bathroom girlie is what I say. And so I was like, OK, I'll ask her. She's my girl. And then she was like, I don't think corporate will be cool that way. Okay. And then we're like, give us our milkshake. She was your cool, a cool bathroom girlie? Yeah, what does that mean?

Can I talk about, is this for a different episode? I think it's for this. As long as you can talk about it for this episode. Yeah, bathroom girlies with Jane Flair. Bathroom girlies are in this sector. Oh, good. He checked his notes. Bathroom girlies. So this sector yeah he checked his notes so this is at a different restaurant at out here city walk that's why i'm like should i not oh yeah no you keep it

broad strokes okay broad strokes so i had an experience recently jason's been on his sector keeper hat oh let's let's keep that out of this uh i was at a restaurant recently and the bathroom was like such a disaster not like it was gross but like none of the soap was working so they had a bottle of soap but that was empty and the top was off and it was on the counter and me and a bunch of girls various ages i say girls but like women and we're all like yo there's like no soap and one of these like yeah and there's no toilet paper in this one i went ladies hold on i went to find this manager she fucking sucked i had a whole thing and jason was like please stop talking about this i was like no she was i fucking hate her and so i was like hey man like this is

going on she argued with me about it for a minute she's like there's soap on the counter i was like bitch go fucking look and so we go in there and she fixes it and And all the girls and I were like, I was like the leader. I love being the bathroom girly leader. And so I was like, guys, I got it. And everyone was like, oh, yay, great. Thank you. Like, this lady fucking sucks. And then later we're walking around and this woman comes over.

She's like, by the way, they finally put toilet paper in that bathroom. I was like, girl, that's crazy. And she's like, I know for the price. So bathroom girlies love bathroom girlies. So this is just a general term now that's extended out into just in like what you use it as any ally basically or this is a specific group of girls. Just like the vibe of bathroom girlies like who are really cool and like supportive and like all of a sudden like here's the thing. When you go into like the bathroom and there's a vibe, someone has to be the one to, like, break the silence so everyone doesn't think they, like, hate each other

because, I don't know if that makes sense. In the way that men do not make eye contact and maintain total silence in the bathroom. There's a whole community. There's a whole Richard Scarry busy town happening in the women's restrooms. Girls in restrooms, like, that's where, like, womanhood really, like. That's where it lives.

So, yeah, so that is his term in general. that is his term in general leader of the girly group you assert dominance i also always want to be the leader because i'm a fucking leo and i don't want anyone telling me what the fuck to do so i was like fuck this i'm gonna get it figured out so got it figured out and then it was kind of like a yay you did it fuck this lady like we were all on like one team but it was so funny because this lady like stopped me and i was like oh shit like what the she was like they finally put like toilet paper in there and it's so expensive can you believe i was like girl that's fucking crazy okay bye like bathroom girlies love them gotcha so that's that's you could be deemed if you find an ally anywhere they're deemed bathroom girl it's an energy yeah yeah it's not specific to a bathroom usually

but like you know like i don't go clubbing but like like once i went and it's like you're you're fucked up in there and girls are just like girl do you need something are you good don't text him don't text oh my god girl you're so right like wow have you facilitated a breakup in a bathroom? No, not personally. At a concert, someone was like, don't answer your phone to me. Oh, wow. You like piled on to like, oh, there's a movement happening here. I'll help with that. I've noticed because Jason, when you're talking about your trips that you take, you are gaining allies as you go.

I feel. People like us. I'm sorry. I'm not saying that's not true i'm saying but like sometimes there'll be people who work at a specific part of the hotel oh yeah like there'll be we talked a little bit about this but i'm always impressed that you say well there was of course susan we met and then like she was our go-to girl while we were staying in whatever hotel so it feels like would you consider the uh whoever that the woman you met at the hotel in Orlando,

is she a bathroom girly? Or is that not the same energy? No, she's like an awesome mom who really cares about you. Okay, but she wouldn't be hanging out in the same space? It's just like a different vibe. Different vibe. Okay. That was a completely different vibe. She fucking rocked.

She gave us free sodas and would tell us what's going on for the day and would always give us, oh my God. Shortcut advice. Love her. Oh, my God. I could cry. She's so sweet. Do you remember her name?

This isn't a gotcha. I'm just wondering if you did. You knew it then. You did know it, yeah. You did know it a few weeks ago. I just wanted to know. She's cool. What was the restaurant?

It was the Chocolate Emporium. No. No. This is our first hint that maybe the chocolate emporium could have something. Toothsome doesn't have toilet paper. It doesn't have good food either. We'll talk about that

later. I bet we can disprove that three days from now. When I say actual worst, I couldn't even swallow it. I went like, get this the fuck away from me. They had to take it back. It was pretty rough. It came a half hour after his did.

And then I get it and I'm like I thought I knew about toothsome. Yeah my world has been turned upside down here. Don't fucking go. Except for a friend of mine is well for her sake I will say a friend of because she snores. The Penelope lady.

Okay. Of course. I'm not outing her. We were visiting Professor Dr. Toose. Oh, your professor, Dr. Professor Dr. Toose. Professor Dr. Toose. That was like so fun. It was so cute.

That part was fun. She's like so cute. But back to the sector. Sorry. Sorry. Back to the Whopper bar. Yes. I said I thought this was going to explode my idea of what a Burger King could do.

I agree. What did you encounter? What's the reality of the situation? Well, the reality of the situation was just pick a Whopper, and then there's like a handful of toppings you can add to it. So the idea, the revolutionary idea of choosing toppings at a counter restaurant. Which are mostly, a good amount of them are cheese. American cheese, Swiss cheese, pepper jack, bacon, pepper bacon, guacamole, jalapenos, crispy onions, onion rings. And was the cheese gently weeping?

It actually kind of was. Oh, no. It was a little. You can kind of see in one of these pictures, there is a little bit of moisture on this set. This is like Johnny Rockets from several sagas ago. The cheese's tears. The cheese's tears. The cheese's tears.

Oh, no. Oh, no. City walk on a magical land where burgers cry. Burgers cry. Most of those ingredients are in a regular, any Burger King. Yes, exactly. By and large. What a letdown.

Now, I'm going into this. I have to say, I love a Whopper Junior. I don't love a Whopper. Whopper's too big. Really? Quarter pounder's too big. This is a thing where I never get mad at you, but I get mad when you say quarter pounder's too big.

Quarter pounder's too big. He has little hands, Jean-Claire. I have little hands. Jean-Claire. So I little hands. Jean-Claire. So I like the standard McDonald's cheeseburger. I like the Big Mac because that uses smaller patties. I like Junior Bacon. But Big Mac is tall.

It's tall, but it's mostly bread. You got Big Mouth small hands. Yeah. Exactly. It's more of the diameter of the burger. I don't like a super thick Pappy or a super big Whopper You don't have to finish it

But I guess if you only want the small I don't want that much And I don't like to be wasteful Quarter pounder though tastes better than a regular McDonald's cheeseburger I don't know if I agree with that I don't know if I agree with that I can think I could prove that with science, I think. My order my whole life has been just to plain hamburgers

and not quarter pounders. Well, I can't even get started on that. That's wild to me. It's done me well since I was a five-year-old boy. Don't you take away my two hamburgers from me. Plain, did you say? Just as they come. I don't say no topping.

Okay, so you get like a little. I know another, I believe, a friend of the show, Danny Jelinek, that's his order as well. With precedent. And I was like, you two really? Surely no one will discredit this opinion on a podcast. I can prove all of you wrong with science. And I don't know how I'm going to do it yet, but I will. I just want to declare it here.

Dr. Cooper, you don't probably eat a lot of McDonald's. No. But when was the last time you had it 20 years ago okay what would you get then Big Mac

I did like a Big Mac okay yeah or over 20 years yeah I also see I don't go terribly often anymore because

when a place makes me feel not good I stop going there well if it ever happened that makes me a, if it ever happened at McDonald's, it's never happened at McDonald's for me. Actually, yeah. I don't think it's ever happened with me either. Because the food is hydrolyzed. That's fucking nuts.

Hydrolyzed? Hydrolyzed. We got water in our burgers again. Well, what it means is, because I know this because having a dog with a sensitive stomach, hydrolyzed means that they break down what is the actual atoms of the food so much so that there's no way your system can recognize it as bad.

That's false. It makes me sick. Mike, fuck off. It made me sick. That's true. That's false. Don't tell me there's no way. Perhaps.

Are you saying it didn't happen to me? Are you saying I'm a liar? You know what? Probably it is. They can't make lettuce hydrolyzed. That doesn't come on a regular burger. True. Or onions.

So fuck you. There's a little onion. Hold on. Fuck yous can wait a second. The onions perhaps could be cooked, and then I guess that maybe could get you sick. Are you saying that no, it's impossible for a McDonald's burger? Well, it's probably not impossible, but... No, not only Scott.

Scott might be the only crazy man who's ever felt sick due to McDonald's. Why'd you stop going, sector keeper? They make the food so it stays good for like 40 years. I know for a fact my mom got sick, but I think she was eating one of those chicken burritos they used to sell. Well, that's an experimental item. That's an experimental item. Yes, of course.

They haven't put that new- Or sausage burrito, breakfast burrito. They haven't put that new crisper and re-engineered it. Yeah, they haven't re-engineered the burrito yet because it's not a normal menu item. The atomized it and put it back together. Jane, what's your McDonald's? Like a Willy Wonka candy. Exactly.

What's your McDonald's? I can only eat their McFlurries because I'm a vegetarian. Their fries have like a meat base. Yes, they're like beef. So I literally can't eat anything there at the moment except for McFlurries. So what did you all get at the Whopper bar? Okay. It was us.

Well, so I, you know, what I should have done was I should have asked for every topping. But I tried to construct, I made the mistake trying to construct something I would enjoy. So I think I got the standard, like what I like on a Whopper. I do like their lettuce, ketchup mayo, pickles, onions. And then I added onion rings, pepper jack cheese. I asked for pepper bacon. You reminded me that very quickly said, we don't have that. So I just got regular bacon.

And it, I mean, it looks sad. Like it really didn't have a lot of flavor. It's terrible. It looks, it's a bit of a bummer. Jane was able to get an impossible Whopper. Looks even worse. Looks even worse, but probably tasted better. I got very simple.

I just did like what lettuce, mustard, pickles. Like just very, very simple. It was like fine. Yeah. I don't think I got sick, but it was like disappointing. I just like didn't even have an egg egg is such an easy like like your dad's gonna get impressed with an egg

like oh that's special do you want to eat an egg from this place I didn't say I did I'm just saying in my wildest dreams of my imagination yes at least I'm saying that at least makes sense obviously I want some sort of real nonsense you know I will say a few years ago, I was like early for work and I was like, oh, you know what?

I haven't had in a while. I was trying to buy a Burger King. I was like, oh, I should get Burger King breakfast. I should get a croissant, which. Croissant, which that word is not in the Bible. No, it's not. Or the English language, honestly. And I got that and hash browns and like a cup of coffee.

And yeah, I felt real bad for the rest of the day. Well, I don't know. It's dehydrogulated. I wish it was dehydrated. That's McDonald's that I know that about. I wish it was dehydrated. So. Oh, another thing I did like, though, that isn't about the food.

When you walked in, they had like a row of the Burger King crowns like all ready to go. So, you know, I picked that shit up right away and put that on. Yes, we got crowns. We at least got crowns. Yes. Yeah. You the crowns. That's fun.

That's good. That's fun. We ate with the crowns on. Oh, yeah. We got them for you guys, too. Uh-huh. Yes, yeah, you had the crowns. That's fun. It was really fun. We ate with the crowns on. Oh, yeah, we got them for you guys, too? Uh-huh. I think I was wearing one. Be careful, though. Heavy is the paper crown.

It's a lot of responsibility. Now, Scott, you went over. Jane reminded me. You went over to Panda Express, I believe. I did not make my main meal Panda Express in a place that is maybe not, it made me not feel so good so I don't really go there anymore.

Wine. Fucking loser. Fucking loser. I know. Now I, the outlaw of the show. But I just, I just contributed a little.

I'm like, well, maybe if we do a little something there, a little like, just to add to the potluck, which I so I got a dessert. Oh, yeah. It was like a it's like an apple pie.

Yeah. A spring roll. Correct. There were generally positive reviews for that. We finished. We polished those apple pies. We were like, y'all done with these little treats? And I was.

Yes. And we were happy to get the Whopper Bar taste out of our mouths. But they were surprisingly good. I was like, these are going to taste like shit. And they were good. I also, I remember biting into the stalest fortune cookie I've ever. Yeah. That is a Panda Express.

Yeah, that's right. That is what you get from Panda Express. I have never had a fresh fortune cookie from Panda Express. What was your fortune? You will find new ways to say thank you this week. Like, thank you God I didn't get food poisoning.

Thank you, Micah Jason, for coming up with a structure for this series where we didn't all have to do everything. Some stomachs could be protected. Can I throw in a little, I found out a little bit of history to the BK Whopper Bar concept,

and I am happy to say we have a guy. There is a guy. The newest guy's name is Russ Klein. Russ Klein was the Burger King's president of global marketing strategy and innovation, and he is credited with shepherding the premise of the BK Whopper bar. The concept is like pimp my ride. No!

No! Not that! Not that! What the fuck? To take up your Whopper make it your own put you in charge so much so that the company initially considered

labeling the concept pimp your whopper oh my gosh then he said probably then he said my guess is we're not going to use

that language on our menu board wow also because probably like Moe's I think they would have had a lawsuit yeah from the

customizing equaling pimping but this guy's so proud of this crate that we're basically I think they would have had a lawsuit on it. Yeah, from the customizing, equaling, pimping. But this guy's so proud of this crate that we're basically doing the Pimp My Ride of restaurants. There is a big wall of text right as you walk up to Wooder, too. And this is, you know, it says Whopper Bar, World's First, Orlando, 2009. Okay for Russ 2009. And then

a beautiful little poem? It started as a spark. It spread into an inferno. 100% flame-broiled beef topped with unique ingredients. America's favorite

burger with more than a million ways to have it your way. That is an incorrect statement. You read the list. You would have to, I mean, really you'd have to get micro to get a million combos. There's probably like 12 things. 16 combos.

Yeah, and there's some like pre-made there's like the Angry Whopper or the Bacon Whopper. Sure. And it's just usually whether there's bacon or jalapenos on it. A million. That's kind of it. Do you want it with bacon? Do you want it with jalapenos?

Do you want it wet and weeping? Yeah. I'll keep up. A million ways. Anyway, this guy seems, I think this guy was trying to be like, you know, the rock star of fast food. He even, in talking about why they called it that, he's really proud of himself.

Even just the syntax, the idea of a concept called the Whopper Bar, it's very contemporary, like sushi bars, juice bars, oyster bars. You're right. That is, yes, contemporary 12 years before you said that. Russ, Russ, breathe, sit down. Was his name Russ Klein? Russ Kleinuss klein yeah it's also more of

like a curved counters more than a bar it's not there's not much of a bar leaning up against they didn't make any changes to that counter to make it seem more like a bar at all like that just looks like what counter was there before and then on behind it, it says by the menu board, your Whopper your way. Right. But that's a normal Burger King. Have it your way, right? Yeah. That's always good. Yes. And really, can't you at any restaurant

basically... Because you can customize, yeah, you can just order it with whatever. It's called ordering, yeah. So Russ Klein invented ordering. I have a question. When did Pimp... This is Ordering, yeah. So Russ Klein invented ordering. Yeah. It's the ordering bar. I have a question. When did Pimp, this is after my time, so I may be wrong.

When did Pimp My Ride go off the air? Good question. That bar opened in 2009? Yes. Yeah. Can I guess? On in 2000, oh, go for it, yeah, yeah. I want to guess it was off 2011.

That's a good guess. Oh, wait. Apparently, new episodes only produced from 2004 to 2007. Oh, shit. So this was past the airing of the initial. Scott, I'm seeing 2009. 2004 to 2009. Where are you seeing it?

Seeing it on IMDb. I feel like there's been revivals. But either way the christmas specials don't count um i mean we're close to the end we were at the end right okay so russ that wasn't maybe the most he was five years late on that yeah um well that might have been you know that was one of the first things that didn't go right for r Klein. During his run, he's responsible for the, do you remember the campaign Burger King Virgins, where they would get somebody

from some far-off end of the earth and have them try a Whopper for the first time? This was criticized by a lot of groups who were like, there's food shortages in places. And then other ads, I don't know what and why, but other ad campaigns were deemed racist.

Oh, Jesus. Slowly, there was a franchisee rebellion, especially after a $1 menu that he instituted that the franchisees couldn't make money on. So they also accused him of moving $65 million from restaurant maintenance to ads so uh eventually the franchisees rebelled they said we want russ klein out and then he's like actually no i was gonna go though i was gonna do it anyway and he's but this guy had like a close relationship with like ad age so he would just go talk to ad age and they'd print whatever crap so he did like a like a i'm leaving statement kind of kind of reminiscent of like, you know, when Charlie Sheen was like blowing up two and a half men and all that tiger blood crap.

That's kind of what, so he'd like, Russ Klein's leaving. What's up? We reached out to him for a statement. Here's what he said. Simply sharpening the sword and the bigger the dragon waiting for me when I return, the better. That's all you need to know. Print it. Positively, RK. sword and the bigger the dragon waiting for me when i return the better that's all you need to know print it positively rk wait positively rk like his initials that russ klein yeah okay yeah positively comma yeah positively rk yeah like that's the sign off rk you know me i have no

need to say russ klein it's me rk you'reK, you know me. No need to say Russ Klein. It's me, RK. You're working ads. You know me, RK. The bigger the dragon waits. So he describes like, you know, I'm just pursuing my next challenge, sharpening the sword. The bigger the dragon waiting for me. The dragon ended up being that he, several years later, became the CMO of Arby's. Dream big. This is immediately one of my favorite guys we got the meat google image him and

you will find pictures of him kissing paris hilton whoa is he the we got the meat guy like we got the meats right is that rbc i don't know i actually don't know does that stand for chief meat officer i mean jason insisted that it did j Jason's the CMO of Podcast Arise. You say marketing, I say meat. Print it, sharpen it in the sword, cut the meat. Insane. I was looking here.

I didn't think a guy was waiting here behind the BK Whopper. I looked up Russ Klein and I don't know that this is him, but there's a website called Lead With Russ with just like inspirational quotes on it. Could be. Could be. He doesn't have a face that

I like. He does not have a face that I like. He doesn't have a hairline that I like. Is it this guy? Yikes. That's a different guy. No, no, no. Well, I don't want to slander this Russ Klein. Anyway, so thank you, Russ.

What's that? Oh, yes. We can save our slander for the latest establishment what's that oh yes the slander really will come here and I think maybe it is time to get into this because here we are we have arrived at the tattoo parlor there is a tattoo place Hart and Huntington Tattoos now I didn't know who was behind this

I've determined that it is Carrie Hart Pink's husband. Ex-husband. Ex-husband. Oh, thank you for staying up on that crate. The ex-Mr. Pink. There are establishments of this tattoo brand in Vegas, Nashville, and Orlando.

The Vegas one, the subject of a reality show called Inked Orlando. I think it's, you know, well, we're the first really to do a little reality show there. That's true, yeah. So, this was definitely, you know, actually, when we first told a friend of the show, a recent guest in the saga, Eva Anderson, that we're doing this, she, maybe this is just me, she texted

like a link to the tattoo place and said, have you guys thought about what you're doing here? This could get weird. And I did think, yeah, where is this going to go? The three of us, I don't think there was ever a point in time where any of us had any desire to get a tattoo for this stupid show. I say considered, but never like, I'm doing it. It was just like, I guess I could do it. But yeah, it wasn't like I wanted to do it.

If you had to, what would you get i would have probably gotten like the smallest thing and i'm trying to think of like the for comedy sake nine more for no one would have noticed i was like yeah should I get like a little Ninja Turtle? But yeah, I was. Oh my, that's kind of cute. Now you should. Trying to figure that. I've been poked and prodded a lot in the last year or so. So I was like, I do not want more needles.

Oh baby. Oh, I'm tearing procedure. Yeah, so I was like, I do not want to go to Orlando and get like the smallest X-Men logo. You would get it on your arm? I don't know where I would get it. I'm just like, that's the only thing I've liked for the longest time. A big X on his chest.

But how do you feel? Because my biggest hurdle was Aaron. And this has come up in the past. There was a day. There was like a Funny or Die day. Everybody went to the beach. And there was a brief discussion because we're all wasted. Like, maybe let's get tattoos.

And she was when I just told her I thought about it. She's like, why did you think about it? I do not. She does not want to look at some dumb tattoo on my body. Do you feel that way about Jason or would you be willing to? Oh, I'd be down. His body, his choice. You want him inked up?

Not at the moment because he's experiencing a lot. And I think that's not something he needs to add to his list. I don't know. You want him inked up? Not at the moment because he's experiencing a lot and I think that's not something he needs to add to his list. I agree with that but if he could like sort of magically all of a sudden have a bunch of ink

would you prefer you think he should get some sleeve tattoos? If you want a sleeve tattoo that'd be pretty cool. Okay. Oh yeah? I don't think you'll ever get one.

Like the Undertaker? It's never Huh? Like the Undertaker? I'm not opposed to tattoos I'm not like I prefer them or anything, but like, I wouldn't be pissed. I'd be like, all right, shit, cool.

I don't blame you. I have no, I don't, because I don't want one either. And I am glad that the group of us at Funny or Die didn't all get the tattoo that we thought about getting, which was B-T-T-F. The letters, of course, for Back to the Future. Whoa.

How much would I regret that? That's cuter than a Ninja Turtle. Back to the Future? A bunch of us thought that would that be. Damn, I really wish you guys had done that. I had drunkenness. We were drunk before we left, before the party bus got on the road. Party bus? Let's go!

I remember, because a specific memory is friend of the show Bug main Buzz buzz Commandeering the speaker To put on Surf city And then surfing

Down the aisles And by that point We're all like Alright Let's knock them back That's the vibe But no None of this

That would have been So stupid I think Everybody who was In the first Avengers Like the main cast Of the first Avengers All have matching main cast of the first Avengers, all have matching tattoos, I believe.

Of the Avengers A? Maybe. I actually don't know what it is, but I believe they all have, they're on a text chain, I know, and they have tattoos, I believe, that they got after. Did the Lord of the Ring actors do something?

Maybe. Isn't it rings? It is rings, yeah. Like, I've seen it. I'm like, it's rings. He was using actors plural, so I think in his mind he was thinking Lord of the Ring actors. None of us ever say anything incorrect on this show. I can't imagine.

Lord of the Ring. The Ring, you know. The Lord of the Ring. The one that rules them all. Yeah. There is one. Wait, there is one ring to rule them all, but it's called Lord of the Rings. What is that about? I'm not a big Lord of the Rings guy. Someone's going to but it's called Lord of the Rings. What is that about?

I'm not a big Lord of the Rings guy. Someone's going to yell at me. There's other rings. It's like a Sector Stones thing, just to put it in way more relatable terms. Okay, I get it. Now I understand. Yeah, franchise people know a little better. Yeah, yeah.

Tolkien took it from me. So we have now eliminated the three of us as getters of tattoos. And perhaps you were wondering, why is Jane on this particular episode? Well, voluntarily, you threw it out there. I'll get a fucking tattoo. A fucking tattoo, you said. Well, may I give a little context here? When I was younger, like in my mid-20s so like two years ago um

the glare at that laugh we'll discuss this at home i thought the delivery was funny kind of moved your head a little when you said it i also whenever he laughs at something i say i do get really excited because i love when i make him laugh. He's so funny. When I make him laugh, I feel like, oh. You looked a little mad at that one. Yeah. So anyway, I kind of was going through a phase of rebellion in a way. I had just done a few like pageants and was just like having an, I'm trying not to say too many things, but I kind of having an eating disorder and trying to figure out my life.

And I was like, fuck this. I'm getting not to say too many things but I'm kind of having an eating disorder and trying to figure out my life and I was like fuck this I'm getting a fucking tattoo but I was like I'll get it on the bottom of my foot because those go away fast so I went to a legitimate um like tattoo shop with a friend of mine and I got the eye of Horus which is like the Egyptian eye that you see it's like a good luck and protection thing and I was like I going to get it on my bottom of my big toe. I'm going to get it on the fucking bottom of my big toe. And the guy at the shop was like, okay, this is going to go away in like two weeks. And I was like, yes, it is. I was so down. He was like, okay, this is going to be weird and difficult.

And I was like, hell yeah. I was just on one. So I was like, fuck it. I'll was just like on one. So I was like, fuck it. I'll get a fucking tattoo on the bottom of my foot. Like I love this shit. It did in fact go away pretty quickly. Oh yeah.

Because the skin on your feet is a lot thicker because you walk on it and you build skin layers. So for it to, you know, stay there, it won't. But yeah.

So you saved us. The three of us, all like not looking at each other. This is a game of chicken where we're all staring at the ground and you swoop in, I will do this. I will handle the tattoo. I got excited to the point

where I started to really annoy Jason. I became a brat. I will say I became a brat about this. I became my little brat mode. I was like, but I wanna. He was like, do you really think you should? It's sweet, in a sweet way. Not because he thinks I shouldn't get a tattoo.

Well, no, and the tattoo artist eventually suggested this too. I was concerned that Orlando weather is kind of nasty. It might be uncomfortable is what you were saying. It's going to be uncomfortable walking around theme parks. It's going to be uncomfortable walking through airports.. It's going to be uncomfortable walking through airports. And then for your job, you drive a lot. You lug, you know, giant garment bags of clothes and stuff. And I'm like, this.

No, it was really sweet. It was really sweet. But I was being a little shit. Sometimes I'm a little brat. And I'm like, no, but I want to get one. And he's like, don't do it. You were also, like, what Jason wasn't taking into account were the sector keeper's feelings. Yeah, right. You were the only one selfless enough to be thinking about what he needs which is for us to get a tattoo

yeah so jason was wrong is what i'm saying as per you no he was right it's the thing which just sucks he was wrong but also he was fucking right um so that the the moment comes it all lines up to happen on the often mentioned throughout this series hell day the day where all the rides broke we'll have been through it and we'll go through it again but it is important context that this was

during a day that was already maddening in its own way for ways that you'll find out actually later you go off to do this we kind of like splinter up a little bit like you start dealing with this process I like Jason with Moe's I try to find something decent and bland and it's it's not important but it's but it's something that did not screw up my stomach thank God because I needed it Mike had another plan Michael's like well this is a place we're not maybe gonna have time to have a sit-down meal at this

place, so I better do this to go. Would you like to say what you did? Well, yeah, I would. I'm just trying to find the exact name of it because I wasn't sure. Do you want me to, while you're kind of figuring that out? Yes. Whatever you're going to do, do it. We can all inch forward in this discussion. I guess in my head

I was like, I'll just go up there. They'll do it quick and I'll be done like I don't know why I thought that would be the case and we go in there's like a little bit of a line and of course I'm like oh these are long I was a brat like I'm just gonna click I was a brat that night I I will own up to it I was like oh the line is long um so uh we looked around the store a little bit and whatnot this is kind of already where the the follies come in with michael because the texts aren't coming while we're like waiting in the store from michael who's eating maybe 10 feet away from where we were in the door inside this place

and like he's huddled outside i was like why is he texting you? We can see him. You went to do to-go food from Toothsome Chocolate. Toothsome. Which you have just said the meal proper is maybe not so awful in some cases. You can't describe that as food. It's a place where probably your best bet is to go and get some dessert, to get some ice cream, to get some little, you know, chocolates to go. And the atmosphere is a lot of what you're after. But Mike says, let's do this to go.

So let's remove from the steampunk environment and aesthetic. So what I did is I wanted to make sure that we were covering all our bases because, you know, a restaurant is not just eating there. It's taking it home sometimes. Sometimes you don't have the option eat so i wanted to see what it would things would travel so i ordered flounder almondine to go almadine almadine thank you jason i don't i did not know what that word was uh and it came in you know whatever like sort of a to-go container and it came with green beans and it came with some potatoes and i want to show i'll show the sector keeper first picture of it he is a little horrified by it uh uh you you guys just you know just the to-go flounder from a chocolate emporium. It's like the top-down view

of a trash can. This is the top. I think there's some sort of shaved nuts on the top. Jason, I don't know how we... Almonds. Oh, that's what it means! Yeah. You didn't figure that out. I never put it together until right now.

I also knew it wasn't pronounced that way then, but I didn't want to tell you. I'm glad Jason's a trout. No, thank you. I don't see how many almond dimes. I mispronounced it that way last time as well. I've only ever seen trout almondine at like a French, you know, cafe.

I'm not a man of culture. As you heard, I'm more of a quarter pounder with cheese guy, okay? I don't have classy dishes like this toothsome meal. So I ordered it to go. But now you've lived it up. Now you know the great flounder that the folks over at Toothsome cook up. I just want the context of while a tattoo attempt is happening, you have a to-go container.

You're outside with a styrofoam container. You were not far away. And you also had an order of potato croquettes with that. Yeah, yeah. That's what it was said, potatoes. Because I ended up eating a lot of that. Well, yes. Want to tell us why, Michael?

Well, there's a couple of reasons. Number one, it was by far the worst meal I had had on either coast. How? And you'll notice I've not been them i've probably been the most positive in general this was by far the worst meal it didn't it's not just that like oh it was only 10 or so 15 minutes uh from taking it and going and sitting down so it wasn't like it was two hours old or whatever and just the way it was cooked it's like burned part of it was like kind of burned like half of it felt like it was burned and the other half was not just almond slivers and almonds are just thrown all over and that's

just like kind of an unpleasant texture to add to it did your fork break am i remembering that uh yes i believe it did break that was sort of one of the more minor things. So I'm like struggling. I am struggling through this meal. No joke. Like this is truly like everything else that was just like bad to okay. Like I'm alright. This sucks. This sucks really really bad. And then if this

is where you're headed with this, there's a lot of chaos going on currently. Okay, let's hear some chaos, then we'll come back to that. Okay, so now to chaos. Okay, so you were gonna get very simple tattoo. I was gonna get a very simple tattoo,

just a couple letters. I was gonna get... I gotta think about this. CWS. CityWalk Saga. I was gonna have them figure it out. Oh, okay. No, I knew this already,

and I knew it because that plan had been put in motion, and I was, me with like rewrite brain, I'm getting text updates about everything, and they're doing C-W-S, and I was like, is that weird? Is that like too close to C-V-S? Is that straight? Is it going to look like she has a tattoo of C-V-S?

So then it changed. So I don't know why am I poking at this. Scott, my body, my choice. If I want CVS on the bottom of my goddamn foot, I will get it. Thank you very much. That's true, yeah. You have no control. It also occurred to me that if you, Jason's girlfriend, had a tattoo

that kind of looked like CVS, his favorite place to save $4 weekly, suddenly there's an animal magnetism. Don't get me started. The coupons have been terrible. Oh, jeez. So thank God she didn't get the ketchup.

I have also become a CVS girly. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, I don't want to say anything about where we live, but there's one not far from us. Yes. And so we go there fairly often. Don't out yourself.

If it's near a CVS, you'll out yourself. There's only six in Burbank. I don't know. So I would be more than happy to have, you know, they have like order pickup now

and I do that shit all the time. You mean like they'll gather your items? Yeah. Like a target. Like a target.

Yeah. You just go in there behind the counter and go, Hey, it's my number of my order and my name. And they go, here you go. I'm telling you guys. So you,

I'll get one item. A CVS tattoo would be good. Anyway, I'm, I'm there going like, I don't know. And you're like, no,

it's ship has sailed, whatever. It's that. So like, because you're now like you're in the throes now of trying to get this thing to actually happen. So there's like a line and we finally get up to the front and I was like, Hey,

I just want to get like really simple tiny little letters on the bottom of my foot and you would have thought i asked tattoo my whole body right now like they were like oh that's a lot of work well i don't know because i don't know if anyone here will do the bottom of a foot because it's kind of sensitive and i was like yeah i've got i literally have gotten one before and like my pain threshold for this shit is not a concern for me right now they're like well let me let me ask and she goes well i can do it but i have to leave right now because my dog is sick and i was like okay first of all i'm like go take care of your dog like i i would

also rather you take care of your dog um but she's like, so I don't know, but this guy might be able to do it, but probably not till like 11. And I was like, what? And so then the guy comes over and this is where I'm starting to kind of get a little faith that this could happen. But at this point, Jason's like, please just give up on this.

I'm tired. This is such a bad idea. And this is where I become such a little brat. I was like, no, I want this tattoo. So then the guy is like, man because i was like it can be shitty it's actually funny for it's like i put a lot of pride in my work and i just can't um i can't give you a shit like i don't want that to reflect on me and i was like is this guy for mother i'm like do you know where you are right now like and what the vibe is and so he's like

so um yeah you can maybe come back but i don't know i have to think about doing a bottom of foot and and i was just like what the fuck and so we keep like kind of i keep kind of going like well maybe we can try this and well maybe we can try that and it's just like not happening and then he's getting bombarded with text from mike who is like right outside and i'm like why is he texting you so much he's right i was eating I was eating too he was eating I didn't want to bring some flounder into the tattoo park yeah but also I did go in I did go in a second really I did come in and my memory of what happened was I went in because I saw some commotion happening I saw some sort of maybe gesturing or something going on so I'm like oh what's going on so I go in there and I think what happened is jane turned to me go they're not gonna do it they told me they're not gonna do it

there might have been curse i can't remember but i remember just you you telling me from across the way what was happening i don't know okay and i ran back to my floor i'm scared i'm getting texts about all this and the text that i got, you gave me this update. You walked in, and the Jane yelled, they said it cost $400. Oh, yeah. So we said, fuck that. Yes. And I think you yelled that across in the store.

I think you yelled that to me. Oh, because I wanted them to know I was being an asshole. I was like, I won't fucking do it. The estimate was between $300 and $400. For three letters. For three letters. For three letters. They were like, it's on the bottom of the foot. It's going to be labor intensive. $300, $400.

And I was like, but then there was a moment that passed that Jason was kind of like, you're so nice. I love you. And you were like, you know what? Maybe I'll just pay for it. Like, you really want to do it. Well, here's my memory of it real quick. I just remember going, Jason was like, you know what? Let to do it well here here's my memory of it real quick i just remember going

jason was like you know what let's do it he kind of just said he said you know what let's do it i'm paying for it you are the very positive he put it be like he he really like kind of tried to get he didn't always try to i'm saying he was pure he was his intentions were pure yeah he wanted me to be happy you know i had been dealing with a lot. I had the scooter down there. She was helping me out so much. I was like, look, it's the least I can do. Yeah, and I have a big piece of fish in my mouth.

I remember. Because there was a break. So you were in there for a while and there was a break. You came back out because now the money is like, oh, this is for a stupid bid. And I was like, don't. You don't have to do it. Well, the sector keeper will forgive us, I think. So I'm eating. And then that's when Jasonason said oh yeah like don't like let's do it

let's go for it it's expensive but whatever i'm being genuine then he was like nah like i can't squeeze it in so now it looks like because i'm we're going back and forth and i'm telling scott okay now it looks like it's gonna happen i think everything is going to go down and then correct me if i'm wrong from the text chain but i'm eating alone again all of a sudden i bite the side of my mouth so hard brutally hard we're almost like you feel your teeth meet in the skin like just like just so not just like i nicked it i hope i didn't cut myself but like a big bite out of the side of my mouth where you immediately know, I drew blood. There's no way I didn't draw blood. Sure enough, I take one of the black cocktail napkins from Twosome and I put it in my mouth to take a look.

It's red. We got blood immediately. Oh, my God. I am bleeding. Wait, I didn't know. Wait, let me see. I didn't know that either. I am bleeding from the mouth.

I have a photo of it. Wait, that's like a lot of blood. The sector keeper's getting faint. Yeah, and this was immediate. It's not one of those where you're like, oh, no, I'm good, and then it kind of bleeds. No, no. Immediately, I go, that's bad news. So I am eating

this terrible fish there's tattoo chaos heathcliff skeleton fish exactly i'm eating heathcliff skeleton fish and now texted about blood at some point i sure did it's on about blood in your mouth i said i just bit the side of my mouth has now cut to me i'm getting texts about all this jane's yelling about 400 they're yelling fuck in the store people are coming out from the back every update is making me feel more and more crazy i'm in such bad health at this point that i walk up to a bar to have a little bite and the bartender says do you need some water not in like a you're at the restaurant let me give you some water he said it like concerned do. Do you need help? Yes. That was exactly the vibe. Then I'm getting all these updates.

I'm like, wow, this is getting nuts. Then I get the text. I bit the side of my mouth and drew blood. I started cackling like the Joker. I lost it. There's a lot. I'll post pictures and video of me just like, I just went, I'm weeping at this point from the madness.

The madness had fully taken me over. Two minutes prior, I had texted Evan Susser and Van Robichaud and said, we're all in very poor health. Then you bit your mouth. You drew blood from Flounder Almandine. I hurt myself. Almandine. That day on Almandine. Almandine.

And then after this, so now I have lost, I have fully lost it. I am jokerfied. I'm like, I'm in a haze as I get up from this place. The haze is broken when the same guy who asked if I was okay sprints back up to me and says I left my credit card. Jeez. Oh, boy. We are all, it is madness at this point. That's where I'm at. You're bleeding a lot. A lot, yes. More than I ever do even from the text. Yeah, boy. We are all, it is madness at this point. That's where I'm at.

You're bleeding a lot. A lot, yes. More than I ever do, even from the text. Yeah, yeah, a lot. You have basically landed at, there is not going to be a tattoo. Well, to get things a little wrapped up, we did end up purchasing something from the store. Yes, the tattoo did not end up working out. Yes, they said no eventually.

They eventually, after saying yes, $400, then you went back in. Well, they said come back at like 11, and then we said no. No, after saying yes four hundred dollars then you went back in well they said come back at like 11 and then we said no yeah we're right right but they still were giving you a run around oh yeah and you went back in and i remember after i'm bleeding seeing more gesturing going on i remember seeing more commotion happening but at that point i said i don't know i can't go in there i'm'm bleeding. Because I said, so what I said was like, hey. Do you have any questions at this point, Secretary Cooper? You're just incredulous, I think. No further questions.

Secretary Cooper, there was a point when we talked about you headed down with us. And I think you're probably at this point very jealous you didn't get to go. Dodged a bull. A lot of them. At some point, I went back out and joined Mike. And he's like, do you want some potato croquettes? And then said, don't eat that one. I might have gotten blood on it.

This guy does not care. He finished most of my meal. Who is those potato croquettes? Because I was just so stressed. And I walked up. When I joined the scene, finally, you'd also gotten a big crazy milkshake. Oh, I didn't. Jason's like gumming at it. You're like, with his straw, I think. Am I wrong? You're just using Mike's straw. I think I finished his milkshake. No, you didn't use

the straw because he said, I used the straw. Maybe I was just drinking the straw. I believe I have videotape of you using the straw. So we did go back into the story at some point. Jason drank my blood, second of all. I drank Mike's blood. We will all live forever like the sector keeper. Jason and I are blood brothers, but we didn't put blood together. He drank my blood.

I drink your blood milkshake. I drink it up. That's a good reference. I said, like, hey, let's not go home empty-handed. Let's get some t-shirts. So we did. Martin Huntington t-shirts. Yeah, they did patronize the store.

So we each got t-shirts. And then the last little button of the night was we took them out to the cash register. And they said those magical words. That'll be $72.42. Because it's like a thin crop women's t-shirt. This should not be that much money. And that's fine. I don't know.

The back is cooler. Yeah, the back is cooler. It's got the logo on the back. Yours looks like it's from a tattoo shop. Yours looks like it's from a tattoo shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yours looks like it's from a holiday inn. He looks like he works at a Hawaiian barbecue restaurant. It looks like a Bahama breeze.

I prefer the print on the front. All of them had it on the back. So this one I settled for because I like the colors. Inked and oiled since 2000. Inked and oiled. Wait, Jason's wearing a shirt that says he. Inked and oiled since 2004. Inked and oiled? Wait, Jason's wearing a shirt that says he's inked and oiled. Jason, inked and oiled since 2004. Jason, your shirt says inked and oiled. Jason paid $30

or more for a shirt that says inked and oiled. So, similar to a few CityWalk locations, the bill comes to and it's like, I'm'm sorry how much did you say and at this point we're like fucking fuck it like I want to go to bed

here is my visa became bed I know we went to Moe's that's when we went to Moe's after and this was when the thing I was texting you I think I needed a real yeah that's when I got the like beans and meat like just standard boring's when I got the beans and meat,

like just standard boring burrito. So you know how late it was too. I need to put something in my system besides bloody croquettes. Jane, by stepping in front of this bullet, taking more of a bullet than we realized. Yeah, thank you. You really give us a story

and something to talk about here. So let me say, Jane claire you survived podcast the ride with the city walker linda saga multiverse of madness i just got through the plug portal anything you'd like to plug what's the plug all right it's a good show same thing um well i work in styling and i'm always looking for new clients so um you can honestly dm on Instagram, Jane Claire styling, J A Y N E. Um, and yeah, so I'm kind of,

that's where I'm at right now. And shoot me a message if you have an event or, or if you're an expert at tattooing the bottom of a foot. Oh my God. If you will tattoo, you guys, there was like half of me that was like, do I go get one here just as a fucking bit and go, I fucking got it.

But then I was like, this week was kind of crazy. So I got it. But I did have the thought. Oh, wait, look. And I'm seeing the Sector Stone. Here it comes. It's, whoa, wow. It's a little, it must be kind of for Jane.

It's a little tiara that says bathroom girly leader. That's right. Wow. Wow. It's a little paper tiara for the BK Walker bar. That's right. Wow. It's a little paper tiara for the BK Walker bar. That's right. And if you look closely engraved in it,

RK. RK. It's a courtesy of RK. Inventor of the concept. So, Cedric, you have a pretty funny story, right? I know we didn't end up getting a tattoo, but that's fine, though. Ultimately, it still counts, right? Yeah, I bought t-shirts.

Boys, boys, Jane. It's not fine. No. What? No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All we had to do was talk about the place.

It doesn't matter if we didn't get the ink, does it? No. The ink was crucial. You had to get inked up. No. It's serious cosmic points for getting $72 worth of clothing from H&H.

But you are headed to a new land. A good place? Boys, welcome to the land of fallen brothers and never builds. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, gosh.

I don't like the sound of that. Something's happening to him. He's getting jokerfied. Oh no Oh gosh Oh god What's wrong with him I don't like the sound of that Something's happening to him He's getting jokerfied That's right Are you gonna be there You'll be there right

Will I Uh oh That's a little mysterious I don't like the sound of that Wait a minute And I can see I see the path forming That's right

Where is it gonna take us It looks like it's heading Behind a wall. Behind a paywall. Oh, no. That's right, boys. It's behind a paywall. Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. This is terrible for everybody. Yeah. I mean, the listeners are going to have to go through the point hole to get over the paywall in order to hear tomorrow's episode which will be the scary land of fallen brothers and never builds some parts of the multiverse only exist if you pay a couple dollars that's right yes oh wow

oh it's starting to seal up we're losing Jane no Jane sorry we'll see you in a couple days don't forget about the chore wheel see you at home see you at home good luck winning the Aruba trip So be sure to head to patreon.com

slash podcast the ride for the full multiverse experience which starts tomorrow at podcast the ride the second gate and maybe while you're there stick around and join club three to get every sector ad free and exclusive bonus sector Guys I hope I see you tomorrow Forever Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.