Podcast: The Ride - The CityWalk Saga - Sector 1

Episode Date: September 14, 2018

The journey begins. The Sector Keeper appears.  The CityWalk Saga - Sector 1 consists of: Billabong Popcornopolis Fossil Zen Zone ANGL Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! When your town has let you down When your port has fallen short When you're too worn out to run And need some ribs or a Cinnabon You need a place A place for rock

A place for roll A place where Oakland Raiders merch is sold A sublime hot topic and billabong A place where you can purchase a candy thong So let's go take a walk

Let's all go to CityWalk, tonight, tonight. Podcast The Ride presents the CityWalk Saga, a daily, 19-part, extremely necessary series exploring the stores, restaurants, and wonderful magic that make up Universal CityWalk Hollywood. Welcome to Podcast The Ride, the podcast that thinks it's a good idea to do 19 consecutive episodes about a Los Angeles-specific retail center next to a theme park. I'm Scott Gairdner, one of the madmen participating in this grand experiment the others being mike carlson hi yes this is a uh terrible idea just in general like this is ill advised people we say it to people and they think it's a joke it is not a joke we are doing this

19 days in a row we're examining all of the stores and restaurants and water fountains for children signage uh yes neon and uh you know the characters uh hanging off of buildings yeah uh the the sidewalk the actual bricks are up for grabs there's there's things to be learned about every single detail of this place and we'll probably still not even get through all of them. No. There's no way. I mean, there's so much there, CityWalk. Also, Jason Sheridan.

Hello. You know, there's a saying that goes, fortune favors the bold. Used by either the British military or the French Foreign Legion. Or like a coffee ad or something. Or like a coffee ad or something. Or like a coffee ad as well. It's translated from Latin. I forget what the Latin term is. But, you know, I feel like a grand experiment is a good way to put what we're embarking on.

Yeah. But, I mean, this is the type of thing we need to get into. We've done, you know, six months of podcasts about rides and stuff that everyone everyone examines we decided to take something that universally is regarded as like a hated thing most people say oh city walk is terrible this is a horrible place i disagree with that also i've always disagreed i'm on record i have tweets that go back five six years saying i like city walk we can find those tweets yeah well you know what i think i've done throughout my life is pretend i didn't like it made fun of it uh if i wanted to do something there i would couch it in kind of an ironic way wouldn't it be funny right to go up to city walk and now after months of this

podcast i feel free to come out of the cityalk closet and just own that I always wanted to go there. Every time, it was genuinely what I wanted. Amen. Yeah. Amen. I'm tired of being persecuted on this issue of having to go up under slightly false pretenses with friends who know actually what's going on. And let's clarify this series

is about city walk at universal hollywood not city walk at universal orlando right that is an entirely different entity we will not speak about that at all at all this is only for hollywood and yes now that is also lovely it's a lovely place yeah well in an endeavor like this requires rules and parameters right and which is why you know we've carefully caged ourselves in with the 19 part system and where did where did 19 come from i feel like it's because they aren't necessarily all uh even in the amounts of stores and restaurants but there's i think 19 is a is a perfect number uh and i don't want to question perfection but but if we had to analyze what is it about 19 why is that the perfect amount you know one of the impetuses for for doing this is

that like we met a guy i think a guy almost undervalues what he is. A mentor figure, maybe? Or a voice of authority. Oh, yeah, he's here. A sector keeper? You know who could have said it better? Themselves. The man, the being

himself. Joining us today on the podcast is we call him the sector keeper he keeps the different sectors of city walk universal city walk sector keeper please of course universal city walk hollywood sector keeper actually if i may correct you i'm so sorry spirit can't cross the country country yeah yeah start to dissipate when you hit the mississippi i lose strength yes yeah so when we talk about 19 sectors, this is sort of a number that's been around for as long as time.

Like the number 23, the significant number of the Jim Carrey film. 19, it exists in many different codes, and it's embedded secretly all over the CityWalk property. That's fair to say, correct? Yes, yes. As another World League meaning. it's embedded secretly all over the city walk property that's fair to say correct yes yes as another world league uh meaning city walk is a powerful place a magical place and so you must divide it into sectors to experience more than a sector provides would be dangerous yes if we have too much fun and too much discussion about like maybe say two sectors at once it would be too

much for sort of a normal mortal man or a woman to handle so that's why we've divided it up into different sectors because we were to talk about all the city walk at once who knows what would happen i don't know we would just be exhausted you know or we'd be here all day well a week and many people uh in this city or visiting los angeles from other cities have gone up to CityWalk. And I can only imagine. I mean, there's no wrong way to do CityWalk, but there's also a perfect way to do it. And it seems to me, Sector Keeper, that by laying out the divine sectors, you are providing your ideal way of experiencing uh this this mall i will call it a

perfect sort of roadmap yes look at as a roadmap a roadmap that will provide you uh many things discoveries of popcorn okay popcornopolis ah discoveries of board shorts Oh okay At Billabong Discoveries of watches At Fossil Oh okay Discoveries Discoveries of water massages At Zenzone

Ooh Okay And discoveries of Well priced Women's fashion At Angel Oh Just like scarves and stuff

Yes like scarves And dresses But at a reasonable price But at a reasonable price Yes Fashion at a reasonable price, yes. Fashion forward, but a reasonable price. And that is your first sector. Okay, that's sector one. Sector one.

Sector one. Billabong, Popcornopolis, Fossil, Zen Zone, and Angel. My boys. Were your boys not Popcornopolis? Venture into the sector. Discuss, but be careful. If you go outside of the sector, my spirit will burn in hell. Wait, what?

Oh, no. Spit out the drink I had in my mouth. Really? That's what's at stake here? Yes. Each sector will help piece together my soul. Oh, wow. Once you accomplish each sector, you will get a sector stone.

Okay. 19 sector stones make up my soul. Oh, my God. So, please, go forth, be careful, and I'll be here watching over you as your guardian. Guardian. Guardian. So, we're, like, setting you free? Sorry to bring you back real quick.

Oh, yes. I'm still here. So, we're setting you free? So, yeah, like, you can hang out, but, like, we're setting you free, basically yeah, you can hang out, but we're setting you free, basically. Yes. Are you into Casper, where you have unfinished business? Yes, I have unfinished business in the CityWalk. Okay.

I can't get into the details. I'll tell you more as you discover more. Okay, all right, great. But just know that I will go to hell if you don't do this. Okay, well, that's a lot to put on us. Huh. Is there a precedent for this like if was there ever a podcast that tried to analyze uh you know the the king of prussia mall uh in pennsylvania and it wasn't done correctly and the and the the king of prussia

sector keeper is stuck in hell now yes he's he's there. Okay. That exactly happened. Yes. Weird. I mean, that's the great puzzle of podcasting, conquering the mountain that is the King of Prussia Mall. As someone who grew up going to the King of Prussia Mall complex. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah.

It's quite a place. Are we now just declaring that we're going to have to eventually tackle this King of Prussia Mall? I wouldn't. Okay. To free him? Well't okay to free him well do you know him is he worth freeing no not really oh i mean let's say you can find good prices on airfare maybe but like don't go out of your way okay like you don't want it you know i mean nobody is bad enough to to rot in hell but you know you'd be you're you're a better guy. You're more worth saving. You're a nice man.

I'm not just a guy. I'm a child. Whoa, what? Hold on. What do you mean? What do you mean by that, Sector Keeper? You've asked us to be frank with you just as you are with us. Sure, I'll be frank.

I'll be straightforward, boys, my boys. I was a child that was playing in the fountain outside of City Walk, unsupervised like many children. The dancing fountains at Abercrombie and Finch? Finch. Finch? Finch, not Finch. Excuse me. If you've ever been to the City Walk, there are these fountains.

There's lights in the floor, and they shoot up fun little streams of water and kids run in and play and they get soaked and parents laugh and delight to see their child have so much fun with water. Sometimes the parents aren't even present. It seems as if the children are just there. But this is a different sector. Yes. He's right.

Keep yourself on track. Yeah, the origin. So you were playing in the fountain. Yes, I was in the fountain and my parents wandered over to bubblegum shrimp to put their names in and i perished oh my god whoa whoa this is a this is a real uh downer here is it too much i can't oh you know you can't question this guy's reality this kid's reality is child's reality yeah that was many years ago though i am

i am ancient so i guess when i said casper it is literally what's going on here casper pretty similar to casper because casper was a child who was deceased and had unfinished business and now he's in hell what casper is in hell no that's not good we've established when attractions go away they go to hell. Oh, yes. Yeah, you've made us aware of this multiple times. I've made that point multiple times. All right. But Sector Keeper, I mean, I feel like, you know, not everyone listening is as familiar with your kingdom as we are yes so just to reiterate for the listening audience city walk is an outdoor shopping and

dining complex next to universal studios hollywood yes um i would call it a mixed use area uh it's been called a faux street or a lifestyle center whoa a faux street and lifestyle center this is in an article about the history that scott dug up um is sort of a popular sort of development style that has grown in los angeles with uh the grove or the americana or hollywood and island uh many other major cities have a similar what's that caruso the man who built the Grove and the Americana. Yes. Yes. This was a precursor to the Caruso properties.

He was inspired. And perhaps the Grove and the Americana would not exist without CityWalk. And the original idea for malls in America were kind of a simulation of like a small town main street, you know, suburbia, planned communities in the 50s and 60s kind of inspired such a commuter culture, car culture that we, America, by and large, lost that sort of main street drag. So the original architect who designed the first ideas for malls envisioned sort of main street drag so the the original uh architect who designed the first ideas for malls envisioned sort of an outdoor shopping and dining potentially with housing or

services like a post office but eventually that that was kind of shelved in favor of like the indoor malls that are common throughout america many of them dying as online retailing has caught on but those were those really rose up uh in the 60s yes um and then yeah and supplanted genuine town squares and like and and malls often in suburbia and off to the sides of cities and the outskirts of cities as opposed to in the vital center of a genuine city. Yeah. And I mean, this is,

this is almost a simulation of like a popular, uh, a populous, uh, city street, like downtown city center, small town, main street.

It's like a mutant version of it. I mean, like Disneyland and main street, you know, it was kind of a quaint, tinier scale version of a main street it's like a mutant version of it i mean like disneyland and main street you know it's kind of a quaint tinier scale version of a main street the city walk version of like a main street is like giant gaudy you know king kong it's it's like aggressive it's very like it is really i can see i i do really really like city walk but i can see where people like find it nightmarish like you know my memories of it it's just overwhelming it's so much it's like similar to vegas maybe dystopian well you could say it's dystopian i mean i would say uh what's like right before dystopian what's the word for

that topia midtopia midtopian like it's not like if if the king kong was like when we finally get into like a horrible war and like king kong is blown up and his head is off the sign and stuff that'll be fully dystopian like that would be the scariest place to be is like a dead mall or a dead theme park yeah well this is you know this is related to the fact i don't know if this is the same article you were pulling from but i read a genuinely cool article from pbs about uh yeah the the rise of city walk and in the wake of boxton malls and how they were like kind of sleek and jetsons-esque when they started and then uh by the 80s they were sort of growing uh predictable and homogenized

and kind of uh just dull not fun places to be and they brought up the uh is it dawn of the dead um yeah that takes place in a mall yeah uh where it's this it becomes this this realm of horror uh where you that's like a refuge for people but they end up feeling trapped i think people started feeling like box boxed in it. It had just become like a very stale format by the 80s. And the people were looking for ways to revitalize this concept. And so that's where we enter the architect or the designer, the man behind City Walk, John Jurdy. He's the, I mean, the sector keeper you're you're yes yeah that i was curious about it's it's kind of a holy trinity thing you are he and he is you yes but you're

separate entities as well then one day we'll send someone in our image down to city walk a third entity who is a combo of your of john jurdy a deceased architect and you who are a deceased child who drowned in dancing fountains and who somehow preceded the existence of the fountains you were there you like you were there before it but it was there before you as well. Precisely, Scott. This is duality to the fountain origin story. Yes. Sure. Speak of father, please.

Yes. Well, he's a great man. Here's where, this is so genuinely my wheelhouse because I'm a fan of architecture and a fan of malls. And let me just, let me say what this guy, what John Jurdy, is behind. We're talking Glendale Galleria. Yeah. We're talking, this is for my Valley or my L.A. Orange County people more so. You got the Northridge Fashion Center mall that was savagely destroyed

by the Northridge earthquake but came back and is stronger than ever today. City Walk notably by the Northridge earthquake, but came back and is stronger than ever today. City Walk notably survived the Northridge earthquake. I don't think anything particularly happened up there. Yeah, congrats. It was built to last. Well, it had the eternal powers on its side. You got Fashion Island, which is down in Newport Beach. That was like a, boxed-in

mall that was starting to bum people out. And he added all of the outdoor streets and corridors all around it. All of this stuff is very European. It's like trying to create little tiny European towns in boring

Orange County mall areas. And then and then in las vegas uh treasure island is this man wow really yeah yeah this is like the tony baxter of malls he that's absolutely correct and not only that he and tony baxter were friends yep i found that out this morning didn't i read this i read john jordy's uh uh eulogy or or a what's what's an article what's an article in a newspaper an obituary well you are wise and all-knowing thank you sector keeper um the uh i read his obituary which is written by a long-time disney uh imagineer who talked about how this guy how how John Jurdy came and like spoke to them. And he spoke to them from what he truly is a father of a mixed use retail space.

But he, I think he took Imagineers on a tour of the West Edmonton mall. Like he and Tony Baxter led a walk around and they talked about, which is another, that's, that's, that's one of the biggest malls in North America and Tony Baxter learned from his teachings truly a Christ like figure it's true he also designed the color scheme and all of the

like temporary what do you call it like the temporary stuff I don't know what the hell is the word I'm no architect the temporary stuff. I don't know. What the hell is the word? I'm no architect. The temporary stuff in the Olympic Village in 1984.

Oh, okay. Which in Los Angeles. Like temporary modular buildings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, things that were like a bunch of, you know, flags and like peach triangles flapping around in the wind, which is so my aesthetic decoration is another good word it's really i wish i always had somebody here to give me vocabulary words i

didn't just say stuff and things uh this is exceedingly helpful but anyway uh yeah all of these these temporary decorations for the the la summer olympics which all moved when it was done to Videopolis. So you got some John Jurdy stuff intermingling with the parks and then here's something I didn't know until today that was pretty mind-blowing. John Jurdy years before CityWalk

designed something called and you know it you could say it with me Satellite New Town. There you go. could you you know it you could say it with me uh satellite there you go i knew you knew it uh satellite new town was a shopping complex designed by john jaredy which was supposed to be the mixed use shopping development surrounding euro disney oh my god disney village which we maligned for over two hours on a recent episode uh what would have been designed by the man who designed city walk in fact many of the ideas he had he was

able to finally implement in city walk so that thing the like as i said the least magical uh mall in all of disneydom it could have been a city walk could have been the first one in a city walk it's almost like we've been called to this place by the the things we love it's almost like you you were with us all this time sector keeper every time you've purchased a snack or validated parking validated parking or went to see an IMAX premiere of a Marvel movie. I've been by your side. Wow. That's actually very comforting to know.

Yeah. And listeners, lest you think like a lot of, well, what do we care about Southern California malls? A lot of the places we named, Glendale Galleria, the Northwood Fashion Square, are so close to the movie studios that are used as locations right in television and film you so you've likely seen or experienced these play these places have likely implemented implanted in your minds excuse me uh as an idea of like a mall or a retail center the idea of somebody who's made so many malls like i immediately i don't know why this is this is just

some like baby boomer bullshit in my head. But, like, I start thinking of his malls as different albums. So, like, he's U2. Like, the Galleria might be like Joshua Tree. It's a real classic. It's good. It works very much as a standard mall. But, like, City Walk Hollywood is like U2's pop.

And some people don't like it. It's a lot. It's a body. It's in your face.ive but it's risky but it's risky Citywalk is more of a risk it's it's more it's a different type of it's a later part of his career I think I think cuz of you sure how would you then rank I left a few out oh that's a major one out all of fucking America really who's on America guy so what's that in YouTube? Is that Joshua Tree?

No, I said Joshua Tree and Galleria. Oh, I'm sorry. What's the biggest YouTube album? Well, Octung Baby's my favorite. But maybe that would be like a double album. U2 never really had like a double album. So, I mean, maybe. The Mall of America is so good.

It's as good as a non-existent U2 double album done at their peak right something they were too lazy to get around to doing john jurdy did it's called the mall of america wow which album is stuck in the moment done uh that's from uh all that you can't leave behind in 2000 uh that's when they came back with beautiful day uh that's sort of you know your return to form album did he have a return to form where he made like kind of a galleria type like it was it was like a later period but sort of a standard mall it wasn't very risky um i don't know if this qualifies as that but uh um maybe the bellagio also oh really i saw a sketch today of the the that uh main atrium that they change out for every season in the Bellagio. And I saw this guy hand sketch what that was going to look like.

So that's a good, that's like a later, an essential piece many years after what you might think would be the peak. And by the way, Sector Keeper, you know, you're very busy. You've had a lot a lot going on over all these years but there were Sam goodies back in the 2000s at City Walk

you know you should have checked out U2 while you had the chance I know I regret it there's digital ways you could still

like listen to U2 all the albums are available no I can't not until you free me oh man you can't listen to music until we free you

you can only hear like Despacito or whatever loop they're playing up at CityWalk? I can only hear what's being played at CityWalk. So you probably know a lot of like top 40, you know, broadside cheering kind of stuff. Yes, but don't ask me too many questions about it. Okay, sounds good. Yeah, we don't want to get too off track. We have a lot to cover.

You're not a music guy. You're a mall spirit. No, I'm a spirit, yes. You're a mall spirit. But you try to be aware of other topics. Right. And sometimes it just sounds like a cacophony of sounds because many of the different buildings are playing their own music.

So Margaritaville will be playing Mr. Buffett's music, and the Raiders store will be playing its own music. The Raiders fight song? The Raiders fight song over and over again. And you just see how those two things mix together, and it just sounds like A disaster It sounds like a lot That's a note

That I wrote down When I This is a Different sector So I'll keep it fast Please don't punish me But I had a Brief meal at Wasabi

And I Jotted down That City Walk Is truly The capital The world capital Of competing music Which on the hard rock we talked

on the episode that was um uh and i'm forgetting the man's name hard rock park guy who created right john binkowski yes john binkowski was very proud of his theme park for not having music bleed he would have a fucking fit if he went to city what maybe he's been maybe that's part of why inspired it you know i made fun of that music bleeding thing but now when you go to a place that is full of music bleed it does show not that there's anything wrong with it right we don't want to offend you senator keeper by saying there's too much sound bleed but you know if we had a minor note that might be it one of them it's okay thank you i'm open to constructive feedback yeah you'd be upset about that i'm open to it i'm a yes ander i took i've taken classes

at ucb oh wow really got a chance that's great yeah uh jason and i did a couple years ago okay all right i guess he doesn't talk about that about that anymore. With, you know, that's fair. Everyone in the city says they do UCB now, according to their resumes. If I can use Soundbleed as a jumping off point into our first sector of discussion. Absolutely. Yes, boys, I'm getting weak.

Please. Do we have to talk? Hurry it up. Discuss sector one. Uh-huh. Yeah, so we went and experienced Sector 1. Yes. May I remind you what Sector 1 is?

Yes, please. Sector 1. Billabong. Popcornopolis. Fossil. Zen Zone. Angel. Yes, and the...

Thanks. Thank you, Sector Keeper. yes and the thank you sector keeper uh the um you know the sound bleed we definitely experienced at the zen zone i thought oh i see what you're saying so so we're gonna start you want to start with zen zone do you want to start or should we is that is that we have to go is that allowed we have to go in order that gives me strength strength, yes. Start with Zen Zone. So we'll start with Zen Zone. So yeah, so the Zen Zone, we had to put a little teaser in. This is how I always thought of Zen Zone. It's a place where you could go in a coffin and get massaged by water.

That's what it looked like to me. It was like this big, weird thing where they would put like a half MRI machine down on you. And then somehow water would massage you. I never went in there i never uh curious to go in never curious yeah i was like oh that must be just some like like i never got a massage at a shopping mall yeah like which is always like i just i don't know my brain doesn't even think about it without even that there's it's just there's no door there's no back area of this massage place it's just facing out to the open marketplace of CityWug.

Right. Yeah, this is not a traditional like massage place with private rooms where you strip down to a level you're comfortable with and then are massaged. It's one of the things it says. I don't have it written down,

but it says like, keep your clothes on. Keep your clothes on and also you will not get wet. Yes. Because everyone thinks like, oh, I'm going to get drenched. Right. Which I think you would prefer because you love to get wet at a theme park. I love to get wet. Yes. Because everyone thinks like, oh, I'm going to get drenched. Right.

Which I think you would prefer because you love to get wet at a theme park. Oh, I love to get wet. Yeah. But this is not the case. It's basically like there's water jets, but there's like this kind of tarp thing that separates you from the water and it massages you through it. So you're basically getting hit by the tarp. The tarp is massaging you, but it's using the pressure of the water that's shooting we'll put a picture of this on because it might be confusing like a power washer shooting

at your body yes thank you that yes exactly with a tarp in between and yes the tarp in between is making sure that you're not you're driving through a car wash yes right and because it goes up and down your body and you're you're on your stomach like you would be. Now, we've all experienced this. We all went and did this. We all went and did it. We all went and did it, yes. And my wife came and took some photographs, which will be up on the Twitter. You're welcome.

She said before we went, well, I got to go and get pictures of you guys in the aqua suits. I think in her mind, we were going to put on some weird blue tarp suits. So everyone is unclear of what, before this we started, no one knew quite how this worked. Yeah, and unfortunately, we don't have photos of us in aqua superhero wardrobe. We just wore our regular clothes, which is very convenient. Yes, and then obviously it's designed for somebody who's like walking away from the park or to the park to,

because they don't, there's no time for anything here with a massage. There's no time to put a towel on you. Like they want to make sure if there's a demand, which we'll get to in a second, there will not be a demand. There will not be. There very rarely seems to be a demand at this place.

And we should mention, we beat it open. We were there before it opened. We even gave them all time. CityWalk opened at 10. We were there at 10.30. When 11 rolled around, it's still not open. Just rolling up the doors. Like lazily opened around 11.

We were able to. What's that? I went recently. Oh, you popped in. Michael brought me. Yeah, so here's the thing. You guys were hanging out without me? So basically, so yeah.

So we went yesterday. The sector keeper couldn't make it yesterday. He was busy doing something. Understandably. I'm not sure what it was. If he wants to explain, he can. But yeah, so we went again today. I took him today.

I mean, he was there already. Excuse me we we i didn't go back in there yeah but he experienced it again our associate said uh i'm so glad you're here i haven't talked to anyone today yeah so so the the gentleman that was helping us they're very nice uh yeah he was he clearly wanted to talk to another human being no one had been in there which is the same thing we had found yesterday well we were the first ones there the first ones there so yeah especially in the morning this place is a low trafficked place and uh we have to give credit to the woman working there when we were there she was very nice she gave us extra extra time. Yeah. So we were, so we're breaking it down.

Like there's different, like it's, you can do a seven minute version of it. You can do a 10 minute version. You can do 15. So we're trying to break down with her. Like, so what's the difference?

Like, do you get an extra relaxing one if it's 10 minutes? And she's like, nah, it's just longer. Like 15 minutes is just the same thing, but it's longer. And it's like,

okay, well then we'll just do the short one and she's like no one's here we'll give you extra time which i wasn't quite clear on so i was expecting a seven minute massage yes and then his time is dragging out it's like did they forget about me yes i have noise canceling headphones on has some apocalypse occurred and i'm done just left here that's funny because the sector keeper said the same thing this morning when we were there he said he expected to come out and uh the whole world was different i was like in rags or something like come on we have

to go there's a there's an attack of some kind it does feel fitting that we were all essentially baptized to begin this journey yes in. That was our first official act in the first official chapter. Father was happy. Yeah. Father was pleased by that? Father was pleased. Bless you, John. Thank you, John. Bless you, John. Thank you, John. Yeah, so she opens up this top of this,

it looks kind of like a tanning bed basically. She opens up the top and so she loads, we were talking about it yesterday, she loads the three of us on them. of the four of these yeah we're immediately taking up three of the three of them spots which maybe has not happened in weeks at zen zone yeah this yeah this is the most anyone's ever talked about zen zone too but at this point we've already hit the record and no one's ever talked more about it than this so So, yeah, so we get face down, and she puts these noise-canceling headphones on, and she tells me there's two buttons.

One button is to stop the jets. So, say the jet hits you in the lower back, and, man, does that feel good. You hit the button, and you just blast your lower back with the water. The other button is to stop the thing if something's going wrong or you feel scared or something and i love the fact that the button to stop it is a big comical red button i think that which is a great design i mean it's hard to mess up yes but it is looks like you know wiley coyote has a like one of his control like when he was trying to blow the roadrunner up he would hit

this button very like me very yeah like, like Acme-branded buttons. So, yeah, so the three of us load in, which has to be a funny photo. Is there a picture of all three of our heads sticking out somewhere? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of us with the headphones on, face down. Because you're in the regular massage chair. Help me with vocabulary again, if you can.

This is the little donut opening. The Zen zone. Oh, that's the zone. It's the hole in the face rest. If you get like a sitting massage or like a, I guess a face down massage. Yeah. There's usually a hole for your face sort of thing. Yeah.

This is like being massaged by the ocean. By the ocean. Whole body. Yeah. So we're in there for a while because we all thought we were doing seven minutes or like well when she said i'll give you a little extra i thought she would give us like maybe five minutes yeah so like texture 10 11 12 at a certain point i went i've been in here for 30 minutes it feels like i've been in here for a half hour i don't know if that's true we never

actually confirmed how long it was that would have been a good question i believe scott's wife said we were it was about 20 oh it was 20 okay how long was the sector keeper in oh today so i think that you were in i'm trying i think it was 15 minutes 15 but also all eternity but also we got it was we were supposed to be there for 10 but yeah so i think it's just when it's running low they will really give you a deal. They'll give you the nice thing. So show up at opening. That's your city walk.

That is a good tip. Yeah, get there not at 10. It's not going to be open at 10. But when they decide to show up for at 11, which I, you know, hey, I can't fault them for the late entry because they were so awesome once we were doing it. And also, most of the other stores we tried to go to before 11 had not yet opened. Yeah. I mean, they obviously know the audience.

They know that there's not a line forming outside Zen Zone at 10 a.m. every day at CityWalk. They've probably figured this out through trial and error. Even Popcornopolis, I may have been the first customer of the day at like 11 30 that's happened though all right zing i got you sector keeper likes that right he's like a tin made of clouds he's yelling let me in outside Popcornopolis. Yeah. No, no, of course not. No one does that.

No one lines up outside city. We're trying to get to the park, the theme park. That's a, you know, a lot of these stores, certainly at 10 in the morning, you'd have to regard as, you know, essentially fly over states in store form. Yeah. They're being blasted through um you know what i missed by the way entirely in the history of it is that like they they basically like needed a a path that would get you from the parking garages to the to the park uh there may have been so i forget where you parked initially in the early days of the pre city walk days the shameful pre city walk days

but also the path was set up to connect the the theme park to the the movie theater and the movie theater never moved that's a strange thing about it like but it but you like cars used to drive right out front of it like like that was just a regular street up there. So, the whole impetus of City Walk, besides to create, you know, a glorious Xanadu of perfection, was to connect the movie theater to the theme park. Much like the time lapse footage of cities growing, or like the opening sequence of Up, where a city rises around Carl's little home. City Walk rose from the ground. i can't wait to see up when we set you free you can do it yes so much great culture i'm familiar but i haven't seen it you see you get to see posters but not the actual films or listen to the to the records so you know you pretty much know of many things but you don't know a lot of things correct yes okay um yeah you'll eventually um yeah i mean what's big in

the 2000s you got it uh you know a couple of those da vinci code movies oh yes angels and demons i think was great robert langdon yes yeah yeah you yeah. You got a lot to look forward to there. Yeah, 2000 era. I mean, Bruce Springsteen album, The Rising. Sort of the back of the E Street band. He came back with them. The White Stripes Lego music video. Oh, fun. Where he fell in love with a girl.

Mm-hmm. The Strokes, I guess. Cool. Oh, yeah. They were a good band. Yes. This show called Will & Grace was on for a long time and then went away and then came back. Will and Grace?

Mm-hmm. It was a show not just with one actor. Oh. Yeah. It was an ensemble show. You got all kinds of things. So we'll try to motor through this whole series. You see how necessary it is, right?

We're trying. We're trying to set your soul free. We're moving, I think, as fast as we possibly could through all of these stores. I think we're trying we're trying to set your soul free um i think as fast as we possibly could through all of these yeah stores i think we're too boy i think everyone listening would agree we're gunning it so uh yeah zen zone i guess yes thank you we're back yes uh uh yeah i mean i think we all two different i think we all kind of agreed like oh that was nice yeah it's pretty pleasant yeah so yeah you're in there and you're you're face down and the thing is going up and at first uh yeah like it's it's odd you get used to it because you're getting shot by a tarp like you're

getting water water via a tarp i don't know which better way to put it very repetitive yes it's the same up and down up and down and it tickled my legs and feet that was a thing that happened but then she came by and she goes do you want it harder and i said yes i do and so she cranked it up on me as did i and jason also requested it harder scott did you ask for harder i did not i don't remember did she ask you maybe not she's also using the but I was using the button a lot like I was really focusing it on my shoulders and were you using a button either I tried it once and I don't think it stopped it I don't think it stopped on okay pressure point but I kind of wanted I got accustomed to it but I initially hated it like the first few seconds i looked up at my wife like

oh god get me out of this thing i yeah i i but by by the end i after you know 500 back and forth if you're ticklish like the the keeper is uh yeah the leg section is tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When it, like, traveled. Like, you know, up top, midpoint, the butt and the feet, I felt great. But the middle runs, I had a hard time with. Not to be crass, but I think it really tickled my bottom. No, that's not crass. Yes, look, I noticed that about myself as well. I was feeling very ticklish on

the bottom uh i think that it like it was like jostling and like you could if you i would stop it in certain places and one time i did like stop it right in the middle like it was so you wanted it you it's not a bad tickling no and i wasn't trying to do a sex thing or anything i was just like trying to like stop it in places and see how it would feel or whatever i think i got it right in the middle of the butt and that yes that is i uh i probably giggled i think sure my nose my nose canceling headphones didn't let me know you couldn't know how embarrassing the noise i had made was uh now the sound bleed i had mentioned earlier i have to say at some point they turned on what I can only describe as Zen house music. Oh, yeah.

And I was hearing that and a little bit of the city walk ambiance, like through the headphones. But that may also have been because I experienced something I don't know that you guys did. Being a shorter man, I kept scooching backwards to get further into the coffin um because i wanted it to get my neck but then when i got it to a spot where it would hit my neck and upper shoulders it was knocking against the headphones so i think it knocked the headphones loose a little okay this makes a lot of sense because i got out first so i got out first and you guys had a couple minutes left yeah because it kind of staggered us getting in. So we all got out within a few minutes of each other.

Right, so I'm looking at both of you guys' heads face down and Scott just looks, his head is face down and not moving. I looked at you. You look like you were getting pummeled. You look like you were rattling. Like, I guess it's because of the higher water pressure, but I was like,

it looks like somebody's beating him up, like face down. Someone's punching you in the head or something. i was trying to get it like on my shoulder and i felt great like for much of the rest of the day although i woke up this morning and a different part of my shoulders felt like shit now that may have just been i was tossing and turning at night i don't want to chalk that up entirely to the zen zone but um i did think like a lying zone that's not it's not this okay uh but when i got out of the coffin i did find like where the capsule i guess coffin is a little it's also like a little like the photon torpedo when they put spock in at

the end of uh search or the end of wrath of khan when he dies and they put him in the photon torpedo and shoot him out which by the way is a crazy way to send a man to bury a man is to shoot him out in a torpedo where does he get just into the space they just shoot him into space i mean it's in search for spot like they have to find it which is why didn't just keep his corpse around which doesn't make any sense but anyway it's similar it felt similar to that like I was being loaded into a torpedo. I was buried in the Zen Zone. Oh, in one of the capsules. It was used as a coffin. That was my coffin.

Oh, my God. Yes. And one thing the associate told us when Michael and I visited is that for a used capsule, it's $16,000. For a new one, it is $25,000. Yeah, we talked about that. You found out the prices? Yes, the sector keeper was the one who asked the question. I thought it was actually a very good question, because the machines

look a little old to me, too. It looks like I think sector keeper pointed out this looks like something that would be in Barbra Streisand's house in 1992. Like a rich person would be like, this is how I relax, this new fangled piece of technology which i think is very accurate i think it was an early city walk location i don't know if it's

been there a long time but it's been through all of the 2000s it would seem yeah it's a very it's a sharper image kind of yes extremity uh um yeah um uh would would you get one would anyone get one i would what if it cost a more reasonable what if it cost uh a thousand dollars well i'm buried in one so you're so you're set i don't know because i mean i i liked it i don't know if i would do it it's a room the time it's got look it takes up a lot of room, first of all. It takes up a lot of room. If you have the space. And you need a voltage converter, the associate told me. Did you ask him?

Oh, interesting. I did ask that, yes. So they have that built into the side, yes. I would be interested to see. I would have to try it. I would have to go back to the Zen Zone and try it a few more times to really see if I could get the most out of it. I would be interested to see if I could turn a little bit on my side, see if I could get it to, like, hit me at different angles.

I would love to see if we could crank it up even more than what the water pressure was. Like, let's see how far we can take this. Like, let's see if it actually, like, because they probably don't want you getting hurt in there, obviously. But maybe if it was a little higher water pressure, like, it would have really, like, worked some stuff out. Because I did feel like when I would stop it on certain points of my back i'd be like man that is like stretching me out like yeah so i don't know i mean i found also i didn't think it was outrageously priced i mean everywhere around here you have to account for like a theme park tax like you have to pay a little more of a premium yes and and what happens is which they

don't tell you and this happened to me and then to you guys after you got out is that you're not only getting just the water massage when you go in there there are some little add-ons perks that perks yes that they give you and they don't even ask you if you want them they just start doing stuff to you yeah little little massage rollers little head scratchers you start getting sprayed down you get sprayed down i wasn't even on you they put marbles on you i wasn't even doing anything today i was just sitting and watching the sector keeper enjoying his aqua massage and the the gentleman came over and he goes oh hold your hands out and i go what and he's just spraying me down. And I was like, oh, I'm okay.

I'm doing this too, I guess. So like they will just. Aromatherapy. Aromatherapy. So yeah. So what happened yesterday is I was done and I decided to spend the extra $10 and do the oxygen bar as well. A real holdover from the early to mid 2000s. Oxygen bars were the hit of the Jersey Shore for a couple of years.

Oh, really? Yeah. Did you ever go as a youth? absolutely not okay but the the parents no no no no okay it was a very it was a trendy thing it was trendy thing i think people some people maybe it made them a little little light yeah well oxygen makes you high i learned that from brad pitt and fight club yeah i think from the plane right they pump in oxygen if the mass comes down yes Oxygen makes you high. I learned that from Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Yeah. I think. From the plane, right? They pump in oxygen if the masks come down. Yes. Tyler Durden.

Tyler Durden. Yeah. That's a movie. You're going to love it. Oh, I can't drink. He says that you're as peaceful as Hindu cows. I read Half of Choke as a kid, but. Oh, wow.

That's one of the things you got before the accident? Yes. Oh, okay. You fucked up shit before your spirit ascended. Yeah, that's a bummer. I'm sorry. It's okay. Okay.

So you did the electroshock thing. You did the oxygen bar. I got the oxygen bar. I chose Bayberry as the flavor of oxygen because I wanted to revitalize. It was the silliest name. It was the silliest. I always do that. I picked the silliest name.

I wanted to revitalize, which is what it said it would do to me. And then they like she like she's she gives me basically what you wear when you need oxygen in the hospital which is scary i thought it was going to be like a fun caterpillar hookah like i'm gonna have this long thing and i'm gonna take puffs and i'll be very professorial no it's an oxygen line it's like a plastic oxygen line that goes into your nostrils yeah these two little things are going to oxygen i sent a text to my girlfriend lindsey and she goes, oh, my God, it looks like you're sick. And I was like, yeah, it does.

And it's a very weird look. And I'm just looking out onto all the people that are walking to the theme park, and I have this thing stuck in my nose. And I'm just inhaling Bayberry. But again, to give them credit, I didn't really feel like upsold. No, no. They had lots of kitschy, holistic crap in there. Yes. And they did not really push that hard.

So I'm doing this, and then she comes over, and she just starts with these weird, what did you call them? Marble? It's like a weird massager. Marbles attached to a glove, kind of. Something my mom would have bought in 1998 or something. most of the technology seems like it's a little old sharper image yes yes brookstonish oh yeah they buy all their stuff from brookstone and she starts rubbing my back and i was like oh okay and i'm like oh no is this gonna be like there's and we'll see on the bill like three dollars for rubbing you with marbles you know two dollars for your head with that weird, like, I don't even know what to call it.

Like, these, like, pronged, this pronged thing that they started rubbing all of our heads with. What's that word, that old-timey brain and head shape science that is not... Oh, phrenology. Yeah, it seemed like a phrenology implement. Like they were measuring us for some some reason head scratching calipers my mom does have that does that have that a head thing not the measuring thing the actual head massager she didn't like make you compete with your sister no no no finally who had the smartest head shape no she was not like that uh she would not a

phrenologist never do that um so yeah i thought that was all going to be added up. And they also hooked electrodes to my back. This is, again, and they did this to me again today, even though I wasn't buying anything. This gentleman hooked things to me again, and the sector keeper as well. So in the last 48 hours... And set it to 40 minutes.

Yeah, he would have let us sit there getting electrocuted we excused ourselves i almost did that when i was up there like i almost said like oh you know what i gotta use the bathroom can i pay can i cash out yeah i was getting antsy and erin's plan was to like go into the park for a second and go on you know one of the rides that's 20 feet away but she's initially like oh seven minutes i'll just wait around and then we're there for a full hour she could have gone on harry potter twice this was like zen zone is the equivalent of like a lonely guy who just wants to hang because like yesterday again they didn't say like oh would you like a complimentary

electrode service where we electrocute the muscles by your neck and shoulders i they all of a sudden she's just like oh hold on a second and i'm like wait one time like just like like sticking things to my back and then i hear like this thing just like jolts you every couple seconds and you have a little um thing that can control how strong it was. So the Sector Keeper and I today were trying to see how hard we could go with it. And it goes up to, what, 10? Yes. Sector Keeper could only handle seven. Sector Keeper went up to seven.

I tried seven for a second, and it was like I was being tortured. Jeez. Like, it was no fooling. You could get information out of somebody by using this thing. Also, the control looked like a Sony MP3 player. Yes. Ten years ago. Oh, so yesterday I had one that was wired.

Today we had Bluetooth controlled. So he used the better tech on us, and we were holding this little thing. And he set it to 40 minutes. Yesterday I think mine was set to 30 minutes. And I was like, 30 minutes? What? When you're just with losers like us, you don't get the full Bluetooth treatment. But when you're hanging with the sector keeper, he's just trying to impress him.

I think the gentleman today also liked us a lot. I think he was very interested. Not that the woman yesterday didn't. Very friendly. Very friendly. Very nice guy. He kind of clasped my hand a little bit when he put the control in my hand. Yes.

Yes. Very, just a massage therapist vibe yes and he he actually i think was bet he targeted so yeah so i'm sitting there waiting for the sector cuber to finish and all of a sudden he just comes over and sprays me down and it's like oh uh uh because then i'm like oh he's gonna give me did he ask if you were allergic because they asked me yesterday are you allergic to any herbs he just could, he's going to give me a turn. Wait, did he ask if you were allergic? Because they asked me yesterday, are you allergic to any herbs? He just could tell. This guy's been at it so long, he can tell what my allergies are. So all of a sudden, he just comes over and he goes, oh, turn around.

And I go, okay. And then he puts, I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm getting electrocuted again. Yes. I'm getting more. He just snuck you into it without your consent. He snuck me into it. He warmed up a shoulder pillow and put it on our shoulders. We both got shoulder pillows and we're getting electrocuted and he's like so what do you do and like oh okay like and we're like he's just like this it's like the same you heard the trick where when you see like a person outside

a supermarket that wants to sell you something or get a donation the trick is you put a book in their hand because then the book sort of ties you to that person so you don't leave them and then they can give you the whole spiel of whatever they're trying to sell you or something and then at that point like hopefully you just fork over money or agreed to something he has a different tactic it's put a warm heating pad on the shoulders and an electrocutor on their back and they can't go anywhere they ain't running into the theme park they're not going across the way we were stuck there it's only it's not in pursuit of more money because you didn't pay more money it wasn't in pursuit of company yes this company because that's what I was I'm like oh no is he gonna like charge me like ten dollars on this because like yesterday uh your wife Aaron did not no one came by her

and was like sit down here I'm putting a thing on you it was like clearly like oh she's not doing the service not the case for me I got the full extra treatment other than being in the water coffin it was so and and then not you didn't pay a cent i did not i mean i tipped now i had to tip extra which is the whole thing because if somebody does a sort of a free service i still feel like oh i gotta tip probably what the tip would have been if I had the service. The sector keeper feels he was happy, the employee was happy that we were sober. Because he told a tale of a drunk man who went into the water coffin and shot out Superman. Yeah, he was drunk and he crawled out the front before it was over. And used his arms to just propel himself out of it. yeah he was drunk and he crawled out the front and like it before it was over before it was over

used his arms to just propel himself out of it uh and so i think he was happy yeah he was did he did he pee on his way out you leave a trail he did not mention any urine but he said that was the craziest thing that he had ever seen is a man drunk crawling his way out the front which if you see well you see this photo it's a pretty small opening and you shouldn't do it he should have just hit the comically large acme stop button right um so yeah we were very calm he did there were other guys came in though yes and did a quick one and he massaged their head and then they left correct so i don't know why he didn't i don't know why he didn't like give them the full service you were with a sector keeper i guess that you know what now it makes a lot of sense i they

probably also seemed like less engaged in in what was going on there maybe what's happening around i gotta say i was happy to see after we got out and we were like finishing up uh uh the woman working there went around and disinfected all the beds that we were in i was happy to see that let me bring this up and this is i'm sure you probably noticed this sector keeper because i know you like you germs and stuff i know historically that you don't love germs correct uh uh so and i wasn't i didn't drown in the fountain i died of a staph infection oh really jeez oh no so that's why urine and blood got in your eyes so that's what i now i understand why the germs

stuff uh but uh they're in there for seven minutes and yet so so the gentleman today brought over other instruments that hadn't been used on me yesterday oh and he started doing a thing where he would use the same instrument on on the sector keeper than me so he would have like a look for lack of a better word a buzzy dildo kind of thing and he'd come over and he'd like drive it into my back a little bit which by the way he did know what he was doing he could find he could feel what was happening he did a very good job then he would take it and he'd go buzz the sector keepers back yeah i would be like okay shouldn't you be using two different dildos for this yeah skin skin yeah and then like the same with the with the head thing too he would like put it on yeah your head and then my head and i'd be like

shouldn't we both have different head things again i wasn't worried but like i guess he assumed we knew each other and we were comfortable sharing a head massager yeah you know each other's lice situation which hopefully is hopefully we have a few lice but if you end up in hell you'll you'll have nothing but lice yes that's been one of the threats that's one of the things that happens to you. That's one of the threats, yeah. It's a bunch of millipedes running around your hair. Yes. Please, please. We'll try to save you from it.

I mean, one way that we could help you is by moving on to a woman's clothing store. Boys, I'm getting weak. I'm getting weak. I need you to move on. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. Are you sure? Please.

Because we're happy to, if it pleases you, we're also happy to keep talking about Zen Zone for another hour. It is time to move on oh okay okay okay okay yeah sorry because we're happy to if you if it pleases you we're also happy to keep talking about zen zone for another hour it's time to move on zen zone is has been an object of interest of all of ours for many years on it i think we can yeah let's through some of these others a little more every store will go through for as long but but probably most. Probably most. I mean, we... Probably most. Yeah, when we were talking about doing this, I think we were like, well, you know, some

of the things we're not going to be able to talk about a lot. We've hit the hour mark already on this episode. Ah, very good. Wow. Oh, no. All right. Let's not... Let's keep talking about time.

Let's talk about talking. Which way? Right or left? Right or left? I need you to walk out of the store. You're facing Ludo's Chicken. I need you to go left to Billabong. Billabong, okay.

Billabong really is the first store, if you were leaving the park for the day, that's the first one that you see. And it was a very notable part of the City Walk skyline in that the roof of the building is a big surfboard. It's the big surfboard it's the big surfboard fin and i remember at some point in time it was painted kind of like cowhide colors so it was a big piece to let you know this this area you're gonna enter is gonna be crazy kooky sure

um and it's a little more tasteful in its color scheme now and i went and poked around this is something i want to bring up for future episodes i think we have to when it's a store that's in lots of different types of malls we have to talk about well how have they city walkified it how have they stepped up their game on this major stage well that's an easy call for this one because there's a fucking wave pool right out front jason it's jason it's jason it's gone it's gone jason i didn't even notice yeah it's gone the sector keeper said hey what about the water in front of billabong i think it's gone it's gone they got rid of it the wave pool there was a why did you not notice this yesterday i we were don't get angry i'm growing weak okay you better not pull that shit every time

something that happens i mean look it it was probably very wasteful during the drought during the years long drought a boring answer but universal is all about wasting of water blasting it into your face and giving you massages with it i want as much water wasted at universal as possible and it was one of those things like i don't know the first time you guys went to city walk but i grew up with it and it was uh my family and i would make a special trip uh every christmas to go see city walk lit up uh at christmas time and uh it was like it was a pretty like special experience you know we'd go we'd also pop into things if we went to universal studios but uh you know city walk visits were a big deal and i

remember the first time walking through there thinking like well there's just like a little miniature beach thing like we stood and looked at it for a long time i loved it yeah i remember the wave pool yeah it was cool it's now a ledge where tired parents sit. They do need as much of that as possible. Universal. Makes sense. Real quick, a billabong is an Australian term for a lake or a pond left behind after a river changes course.

Really? Very common in Australia. I thought it was like a drug, notong necessarily But it felt like a hipper That's like a real formal sort of Yeah well it's a company that A surf company A surf style company that originated in Australia Billabong

Mentioned in the Australian folk song Waltzing Matilda You guys know Waltzing Matilda? It is It's old enough for the sector keeper to know it. Yeah, it's not in the 90s. It's old enough for Jason to know it, too. My favorite song.

It's about a swag man who can't buy a billabong. It's a song filled with Australian terms and stuff. Can you sing us the part where billabong is said? Do you know it offhand? Yeah. Down came a jump buck to drink at the billabong up jumped the swag man and grabbed him with glee he sang as he shoved the jump buck in his tucker bag you'll come a waltzing matilda with me wow and then the chorus waltzing matilda waltzing matilda you'll come come waltzing Matilda with me. He sang as he shoved

that jump buck in his tucker bag. You'll come waltzing Matilda with me. Jump buck is a male sheep. Tucker bag is what like a traveling itinerant Australian man carries. Scott is the sector keeper's thing.

Infinity war fading away. I feel weak too. Anyway, I know of Billabong. I was never like a skate wear, surf wear kind of kid. I've always worn Vans a lot, I guess. You wore Tucker pants or whatever. No. What would you wear when you went waltzing with Matilda?

Like a puffy shirt? Like a peasant shirt? Yeah, like Seinfeld. I was in school with Matilda. Oh, really? Oh, real Matilda? Mm-hmm. So you waltzed with her?

Yes. But it stopped there because you're a gentleman Yes correct A gentleman child Billabong the shop is beautiful Because it's always 1996 inside Yeah it is It gives you a vibe of like

Not like 90s pop punk Even though that's not what they're going for But that is what i associate with it everything was beautiful and nothing hurt jesus now you're voting me out more than the child the child ghost um hey well i think it's time to keep moving on yeah fossil boys the watch store yes thank you thank scott is fossil doing at city walk is my question that one's of all of them is not even that's not elevated at all there was never a wave pool right not a big surfboard there should be a giant watch the bare minimum a big one i feel

like it's gotten more apple story as the years go on. I feel like fossil stores I used to associate with a lot of inventory on the floor and now it feels like there's barely anything on the shelves. A quartz watch. Yeah. And like high fashion. Like it's trying to go more

for high fashion. I guess that is what maybe what CityWalk is trying to now do in general because there's a sephora there which is a little bit of a fancier store but like i think if this would this should be like some made-up clock clock store like clock faces uh uh watch watch emporium or something and like there's a clock face man it's it's not fantastical enough yeah and i think maybe that's probably unfortunately the way city walk is, is they're probably going to start putting maybe more high-end-y stuff like this in. Although this has been there for a while.

Does it always look like that, though? I feel like it looks newer to me. Yeah, it's maybe gotten blander inside. But yeah, I agree. We're just getting into, it's just becoming kind of a standard mall. As all malls are getting. You know, you don't have the like the mall i grew up next to had a food court called chowsers with a z and every store had a toothpick with like the

little toothpick frilly um you know confetti on the end of it and like uh you know there's no reason to have that uh you know production value and cartoon silliness but it made me love chowsers and remember it of course about it on a podcast and the more city walk gets bland the more it loses grounds to places like the grove and the americana yeah that's true yeah i mean this if this was all just sort of a high-end like uh you know beverly hills mall what's the point what is it city walk anymore i mean i if this was all just sort of a high-end like uh you know beverly hills mall what's the point what is it city walk anymore i mean i get the idea of people splurging when they're on vacation but like fossil is like a that's a a that's a bit that's a real splurge like that's a like a 200 messenger bag is that you know it's a lot of it's a lot of leather goods it's a lot of chunky

watches yeah have you is anyone here bought a fossil watch ever my sister did in nine in the 90s one of heyday of billabong yes i hope you can buy up you'll be reunited with her uh this is all that would be lovely yeah i have a fossil wallet uh someone gave me me for Christmas a few years ago that I use every now and then but I'm not like really a leather guy or a watch guy the the fossil store disappointed a lot of fans

some people like leather you're not a leather daddy I we try to keep it a little cleaner here, sector keeper. I try to keep my personal life off of this. I'm sorry. Your child mind is more perverted than it should be.

The fossil store at CityWalk, Universal CityWalk Hollywood, not only lacks imagination, Michael and I noticed it lacks watches. There's a whole empty rack that's supposed to be like watch, like display. The very first rack when you walk in, it is completely empty. As if someone had stolen all of them. Yeah, it's like a kid just running by

and has collected them all on his arm. Also interesting because they're trying to compete too in like the smartwatch category. So they have giant facsimiles of their smartwatches in the window. The Google powered smartwatches. Yeah, the Google powered

smartwatches. You can get a Nash, a Buckner NS City bag for $118. You can get a Nasher backpack for $128. So it's not so bad. That's a little expensive for

for people but let's demand the fans chip in and buy jason one of these bags yeah get him a buckner or get him a rory courier bag or uh if you want to go high end uh there's one called the defender portfolio uh that i think would look nice that looks sharp sharp on Jason. Oh, you know what? Never mind. I take all that back. Get him the estate casual leather backpack because he's a leather daddy. From here on out, you were too definitive that you weren't a leather daddy. Thus, now you are.

You didn't deny it, buddy. All right. So good. The backpack is... Oh, no. Oh, growing week. Wait, do you want more leather? Oh, sorry. Boys, it, buddy. All right. So good. The backpack is... Oh, no. Oh, growing week. Wait, do you want more leather? Oh, sorry.

Boys, boys, boys. I think it's time to go to a city within a city. Whoa. It's time for Popcornopolis. Oh, yes. Yeah. I'm sorry we've left you hanging for so long. You know what?

All comedy podcasts should have a weak ghost to keep them on track boys boys don't bring Bugsy back let him die the first time so Popcornopolis I did patron I went into Popcornopolis and I figured should sample some of the wares and bought

a cone of churro corn. Tried a couple flavors. You can get free samples. Yes, they offer you free samples. They offer you free samples. Try anything else you like. They were warm. Can I ask how my feeling on samples?

Here we go. Is that I will never ask for samples. I only pick and I eat. I don't know what it is. I don't want to, I feel like I'm wasting their time. I know this is an unpopular opinion. I know you will get a sample of as many as they tell you. They'll say, oh, limit three and you will get three.

So you're being a sweets and treats boy is usurped, overridden by you being a good boy. Yes, I think that is sort of what I feel. I feel like, well, I haven't paid for this, so I feel bad even having a little ice cream or a little of the popcorn. And also, I feel like maybe from being raised by my mom telling me that I was not a picky eater, that I go, well, I'll enjoy it.

So anything I order, I will like. If I order ice cream, if I order a meal, I'm not. I'll never say, this is horrible. I'll just enjoy it. A helpful trade in a theme park you're right i want to know what i'm getting into i only had two samp i sampled the chicago style which is caramel corn and cheddar corn together which i liked fine but the sign outside add truro corn and big letters i'm like oh i'm interested in that i like a cinnamon

like uh uh i like cinnamon as a flavor or like a roasted cinnamon nuts or, in this case, sweet cinnamon popcorn. And it was really tasty. Yeah, I thought it was good. I had a little bit of it. Had a little bit of it. And it was good. I've had their popcorn before. Pretty good.

Pretty good quality. Pretty good. I do think it's very funny. They call it gourmet popcorn. Like every now and then you see gourmet blank. i always wonder what does that really mean what does that really mean i mean they have a lot of interesting they had a cupcake flavor of popcorn yes they had a lot of i mean there was no way we could like they didn't know we were theme park journalists because i think they would have rolled out the red carpet for us if they should and they would have had all the

samples probably out like laid out and we would have been able to kind of come behind the counter very willing to give samples yes very willing to give samples and i said oh i like i'll take the churro corn and uh just a small just i didn't want that much and they gave me a uh like foot long coat like it's a giant amount of popcorn yeah i'm still it's it's i shared it with you guys and with people afterwards and i still have a bunch left with the massage therapist with the massage therapist we should have gone to popcorn apples first and you could have eaten it while you were getting the massage oh i feel like that would have been too distracting or we could have had someone feed it to you through the hole well now that sounds that sounds gourmet that someone at zen zone would have done it without being asked i'm sure if you would but just had the popcorn on the counter yeah they would have gone over and like

all of a sudden you felt like it being shoved into your mouth popcorn op was lean sweet yeah i would say so yeah they have a lot of sweet flavors that the sprinkles and style yeah so there's not as zebra oh yeah yeah yeah i think my mom's a fan of zebra all uh gluten-free i found out all varieties gluten-free some of them kosher a handful of them are certified kosher and they have other things there too they have a lot they have a whole display case of candied apples that are like disneyland style insane decorated with candy or confect sprinkles and stuff you got something there you said today yes so i said i should you know i should experience something different than the popcorn um and i got a frozen banana covered in chocolate and sprinkles

and i forgot how big a banana can be because on the picture i thought oh a banana you know what five inches skinny banana uh i thought okay this will be a nice quick little treat it was not a tiny skinny banana i will show a photo of what it looks like and i'm in the picture for a size comparison banana big hard raging banana much bigger than that buzzy dildo that was used on mine and the sector keeper's neck earlier uh here's how big it was boy uh you're making a face well i was like i was like kind of like oh no like why did i do this sector keeper directed michael to smile because he seemed here's a picture now i'm happy i can't zoom in but now i'm happy posted here's a picture now i'm happy uh i can't zoom in but now i'm happy okay it was very good i mean i was not but i was just like oh no all the calories and it was a thick

chocolate shell uh with sprinkles and it was good very good yeah it was very good um we um you know we don't do a ton of talking about restaurants on the podcast, but CityWalk will be going to a lot of restaurants. And I feel like it'd be helpful if we had some kind of rating system to rank the food. If it was rated on a scale of one to four. Some sort of utensil or something would be good. What if we rated it on the scale of one to four for chetas, the Italian word for fork? Oh, that's nice.

I love Italian, first of all. It's just one of the romantic languages. So I just think that, and we're very like a romantic podcast, so that makes a lot of sense. I think this makes it an extremely original idea. I think you're right. I mean, I initially saw a lawyer some sort of podcast lawyer coming through the like standing at the patio door here and then we heard it was the word in italian he like you know tore something up and stomped his feet in anger

oh jeez i can't get him now i was checking the italian translation so i missed all that i'm so glad that this is in the clear i'm not sure what he would have been mad about but uh because this is this is a pretty original he's probably from hell he's trying to get me to come oh geez okay well we got to keep him off your back and keep moving so if you guys had to wait uh what are the uh uno uno due tre quattro uh Do they go up to five? Do we go up to five? No, five would be insane. Cinque, no Cinque. No Cinque.

How would you rank your banana? Can you give me the numbers again? Uno, Due, Trey, Cuatro. I mean, as far as what you're looking for, I'll go Cuatro. Because, I mean, look, a nice frozen banana. Banana was a good quality. It's giant. You get a lot for your money.

It's six bucks. A little expensive, but it's a giant, thick, and it was good it's thick chocolate and the sprinkles it very much uh the the shell very much reminded me of uh my favorite dipped cones at disneyland so you're getting that oh yeah that's a solid treat i've always i've always liked it so yeah i'll go four i'd go quattro as well. Yeah. Right. The cone of popcorn was seven. And I honestly really didn't want that much. But, you know, I respect that you, I think you are certainly getting a shareable quantity worth and you're getting a lot worth.

And I respect the business angle. I know the margins are very good on like stuff like that popcorn that you can make on bulk and sell for a lot more than it sure actually costs and again very friendly good good service sure everywhere we went to up there would you guys want to put either the banana or the popcorn into the club de targa de oro uh which translates to to golden plate club but whether we won't refer to it as that lawyer The lawyer is coming back. Oh, sure. Okay, never mind. No club?

It's not in the club. There is no club. And I guess we should keep moving to the final store in the sector, which is... Boys, boys, keep moving, please. You'll take a right out of Popcornopolis. And you arrive... You'll arrive not in heaven,

but in a place called Angel. I see. But not spelled with all of the letters. A-N-G-L. This is a shop that their website describes as California's hottest club dresses and trendy women's clothes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Does that seem, with what we know about women's clothing does it would you think it was trendy next to nothing uh yeah i mean i would say so i really only peeked

in it uh a little and i looked at their website but from what i know of the price points of uh casual women's clothes or evening wear that sort of thing. It seemed reasonably affordable. What's the price on a leather dress? A leather dress? Oh, I see where you're going with that. You're getting my ass? I see what you're doing there. You wouldn't know that. You're a leather daddy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went in with a frozen banana. I was eating it in Angel today, and I felt uncomfortable. Because Angel, honestly, I have a lot of opinions on clothes. I thought a lot of the clothes looked nice. I liked a lot of the designs. But it's so close in there.

All the things, like Fossil's very spread out because it's watches. It doesn't take up much space. Angel was very claustrophobic, I felt, as a store. They crammed a lot of stuff in. So I'll be honest. We didn't get the fullrophobic I felt as a store They crammed a lot of stuff And so I'll be honest We didn't get the full experience Because I felt uncomfortable Wielding a chocolate-covered banana in there That I would just like

Let some sprinkles fly And they would hit some women's clothing Next to like summery crop tops And maxi dresses And that sort of thing Yes, I didn't want to ruin the maxi dresses But it seemed very eclectic Yes

Lots of options Right I mean, maybe they Yeah, maybe they could like Kind of have more of a specific style, if I was critiquing Angel. Sure, sure. If you call something California, it can be anything. Sure. California is a catch-all.

Could be avocado, could be Swiss cheese. Sure. You know, you see California on a menu. It's a loose genre, isn't it? Well, I'm kind of disappointed that Angel is the use of that location now, because when CityWalk opened, this was one of the landmark CityWalk stores. It was called The Nature Company. And The Nature Company, from their own website at the time, The Nature Company store features a rainforest exhibit

with a replica of a banyan tree wow and if you or anybody we've talked about that warner brothers studio store a little bit where you'd walk into a little spaceship or some or a little movie studio or whatever it was if you're a kid who's bored in a mall if like a thing you can go into like that little imaginarium door that That stuff's always great. And this thing, yeah, you've got to walk through a little rainforest, which was very, very cool and very well done. And the big thing that I remember about this, I've been withholding this fact from you guys.

In my recollection, this was the second location on the Universal Studios property with the E.T. Ride smell. Really? Oh, sure. It had that same like that magical fake pine that combining with that uh heavily chlorinated water it's uh um yeah that that that magical uh effect that was only on the et ride was also in this other place so i was i was really happy there was another little zone where you got a a quick little little hit of that and you always recognize that like from the first time you went in did you oh it's the et smell like did you immediately it's so no one told you oh that's

the same smell and it was not yeah it wasn't like a it was it wasn't a thing it was there was no uh you know twitter accounts devoted to the et smell or a message board talking about it right i remember like when i started when i first started talking to people who were also grew up around here and were fond of universal that that et smell would come up so frequently and uh i don't think i was the only one let me ask this question because you worked at the park um what did you ever see the canisters of smells no no uh um uh as i'll get into at some point I did get to see, you know, Rotting Botanicus. I might have mentioned that in the first episode.

I'll bring that up again later. But the, and one time after the Back to the Future ride closed, I got to see a big, like a stack of lots of the DeLorean cars. Like they were all piled up in a junkyard way, which was kind of uh depressing that is and i went up there i snuck up there to see if there was any like little piece i could break off

sure like a license plate or a uh a flux capacitor or something but it wasn't really uh it was all like the big blunt uh pieces of it so no no smoke can i never got any insight as to where the smell came from but i did get to experience that that King Kong banana breath on the daily. Oh, of course. Another one of the great universal smells. That would have been a crazy score, though, if you could have stolen a canister of theme park smell. And then just like when you were feeling the mood,

you go over and you open the valve a little bit and take a big whiff. Now that's aromatherapy. You should use that at Zen Zone. Yeah. Oh, what a good plus it up, Sector Keeper. a little bit and take a big whiff now that's aromatherapy like uh zen zone yeah oh boy what a good plus it up sector keeper it really is yeah if they want to cater to the locals and the people with the with universal nostalgia wow so like dennis hopper's character in blue velvet but instead of laughing gas you're taking a smell of, like kind of mildewy water in plastic bromide smell. Oh, yeah. Of theme parks.

Oh, yeah. Now I feel like I'm in the forest outside of the Tujunga. The inexplicable pine forest. I'm in Maggie Simpson's mouth. Baby powder. Sm always smelling tricks farts those sort of like nature stores or uh discovery channel stores which eventually bought the nature company um that in you know they they all sold a lot of educational toys and rain sticks and that sort of thing i was always interested in that because i like even as a kid i was like how does this place make money like and they were

because they were always at the like most expensive malls too and you can play with everything you could buy yeah it was out of a box already yeah and and it's you know it's the parents walking around with their kids going like is this the souvenir you want for the trip is this your one souvenir uh and all the kids you just go like nah i think i'm done i think i'm good by the time you've you've already played with it and had time to decide you don't want it that you probably dig your hand into that pile of gems right oh my god this is great i'll stick my hand in this all the time to relax me five seconds pass uh you know what never mind i will leave with no gems um man yeah they didn't uh they didn't didn't stick the line i guess there's nowhere to buy gems anymore i don't know where you go in los angeles in general if you want a rain stick

yeah that's a good question uh if you guys know of a good out there listeners if you know the good rain stick place let us know yeah where would you go oh i thought you were gonna have no i didn't have anything i was just thinking yeah what is los angeles oh boy that's so much that's too much you're within yeah you're only not universal city wow uh that's how little yeah los angeles affected you why would you need to know about los angeles why do any of us if we could only be in city walk oh yeah that is sort of what That's how little Los Angeles affected you. Well, you're going to know soon. Why would you need to know about Los Angeles? Why do any of us? If we could only be in CityWalk.

Oh, yeah, that is sort of what. We would maybe like to just trade places with you, I guess. Sure. The three of us. I could arrange that. So if my spirit was freed, yours would be incarcerated? Maybe. Would we be willing to trade?

But would we get to be in CityWalk? You're not in CityWalk. Well, you can go visit, as you did, because you went to the Zen Zone. Yes, yes. No, I can stay within the bounds of it. Oh, okay. You're kind of in this limbo between death and life,

and you have to stay within CityWalk and only eat CityWalk food. Yes, correct. Hmm. I mean, that's already where we're kind of heading. That's essentially the jail we've put ourselves in for the next 19 days and our listeners and in fact we're heading there right from this recording oh that's right

not too we are going to be at city walk a lot in the next 19 days yeah we sure are we sure are part of it is i think maybe we'll be frustrated but part of me thinks maybe by day 19 we're fucking energetic and we're like riding like a cocaine high of city walk like we may not like limp to the finish we may dead sprint to the finish we may evolve to another like plane of existence yeah well i'll say this i i'm afraid of where this is going and where my stamina will be by the end of it however um at the moment i i feel very optimistic and i want to just like commemorate that optimism with a little audio presentation for this the first part of the of the 19 part series um mike if i could ask you to hold this up hold my phone up to the microphone and uh and and and I will begin this grab a slice at Blaze.

Had a skinny margarita at Camacho's Cantina, then I bought a hat at Liv's. On the way to Billabong, said, what's up to King Kong? Then I ran into John Lovitz. He told me to... City, walk this way. Walk this way. City, walk this way.

Just give me some pinks. Ah. All right. That was fun. That represents my frame of mind right now. I hope my musical offerings were to your liking, sector keeper. It was wonderful. It gave me strength.

Yes. Very good. So much strength that I feel like, boys, Sector 1 is complete. We did it! Hooray! So, wait, the stone! Yes, yes, Sector 1's stone is now yours. Wow, there it is, it just appeared.

Oh! God, he's... I'm helping it up. There you are. Oh, it's a... Can you, like, spray that down like the Zen Zone people? Sure, yeah. Before we touch it.

Okay. Before it goes skin to skin. I'll take it. Oh, my God. It's as if... It's as magical as holding up to 40 Nature Company gems. Yes. Yes.

We're all the flavors of Popcornopolis at once. Yes. Sector Keeper, you will be checking in throughout our journey, right? Yes, I will be your guardian as you venture into each of the sectors. And we have some fellow travelers who will be joining us. Oh, yes, indeed. A parade of past favorites, some new guests who inexplicably are starting, doing a first episode within this series. Yes. Good luck to them. Favorites, some new guests who inexplicably are starting,

doing a first episode within this series. Yes. Good luck to them. Yes. The journey is long and hard, but fruitful. Yes. I find. May I leave you with some words of wisdom? Of course.

As you walk through the CityWalk, remember, it is a place of commerce, it is a place of fun, and it is a place of commerce it is a place of fun and it's a place of food and always boys always yes go raiders uh go raiders indeed raiders thank you for this motto thanks for checking out this episode and uh uh we're serious check in for the next 18 days. Yes. In a row. There will be a new episode. Maybe not all this long, although you know us. Maybe this long.

Could be. Follow us at Podcast The Ride on Twitter, on Instagram. Facebook. There's this Facebook group happening. Sector Keeper, anything you'd like to plug? I just would like to maybe reiterate the more people that follow you rate and subscribe the

less likely it is that my soul is in hell great oh yeah follower gives you strength yes each follower gives you wings like tiny ones yeah like a full set

by the time you've got like a thousand of there's an aggregate of wings that can they'll all slowly be able to carry you up yeah and send your spirit so now it's up to you listeners help save a ghost life for as the There's an aggregate of wings that can... They'll all slowly be able to carry you up and ascend your spirits. So now it's up to you, listeners.

Help save a ghost life? For as the British SAS say, who dares wins. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following

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