Podcast: The Ride - The CityWalk Saga - Sector 19 with Nick Wiger

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

THE GRAND FINALE. Nick Wiger (Doughboys, I Love You, America) joins us to once again talk parking garages. Sector 19 consists of: Curious George Parking Jurassic Parking E.T. Parking Woody Woodpecker Parking Frankenstein Parking King Kong Parking Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! When your town has let you down When your porch has fallen short When you're too worn out to run And need some ribs or a Cinnabon You need a place, a need a place A place for rock A place for roll

A place where Oakland Raiders Merch is sold A sublime hot topic And billabong A place where you can purchase A candy thong So let's go take a walk Let's all go to CityWalk, tonight, tonight.

Podcast The Ride presents the CityWalk Saga, a daily, 19-part, extremely necessary series exploring the stores, restaurants, and wonderful magic that make up universal city walk hollywood welcome to podcast the ride the city walk saga sector 19 we did it the stunning finale is has arrived the saga finale i have to quickly just congratulate you the listener if you are listening to this the first day. If you've kept up, if you've listened to all of this, because it's like 30 hours of content. Yeah. Or more.

You couldn't listen to all of it in a single day. Yeah, no. That would be impossible. You could binge entire TV shows and not this. This takes a few. So, God bless you, because there are people that have been doing this. And you are out of your mind so thank you for doing this but we've hit it we've we've read the conclusion we made it

motions are running high some people said we wouldn't make it a lot of doubters a lot of haters said they might reconsider even trying to make it yeah uh pale on the whole concept but in fact we're there yeah so we got a lot of fun stuff it's a lot of fun stuff and but just before we bring our our guest in there's a couple bits of business we have to take care of in order to reward you at home who have made it through all 19 sectors now available on our t public store a t-shirt t-shirt, I Survived the City Walk Saga. Yes. Go to our TeePublic.

The reward you have is to buy a shirt from us. Buy a shirt on sale, like all TeePublic shirts. New design launched on sale for a few days. Also, I believe, classic I Survived podcast, The Ride 2. Oh, yes, that also, a new shirt. And I don't think we've said on the show in general hey we have a t public store yes uh that's the in jet that's the big overall news and some of you have already bought shirts and we've seen them and we're so happy you're getting them yeah but a new line the survived line but i want to institute a um you

know a strict moral code here an honor system you may only buy the shirt you may only get the reward of giving us money if you actually did listen to all 19 imagine the shame somebody would have to feel if they wore that shirt as a lie yeah this is like if if you were to go to disney and the gift shop you were not allowed in it unless you truly went on the ride which i honestly kind of think might it should be enforced that way well there is the there is merchandise that only annual pass holders can buy so yeah a little bit i'm just saying you got to go the experience though you can't get any for sure you know we would like if people would tweet at us screenshots that show listened to and the dates

that would show the time code and that you made it all the way through and then you may purchase merchandise from us and also tweet at us pictures of you enjoying anything you've gotten from us again you can click the link in the description of this episode to go to the t public store okay good uh that question yes it's in it's in the the metadata the description depending on your podcatcher. There's a link in there. You can click that and we appreciate it. And then we have a little tantalizing tease without saying too much.

I think here's the big way that the City Walk saga has affected us. The podcast, the Ride Boys, is that we now have a taste for doing far more content than should be legal in this country. We are just thirsting to ramble about more topics deep within Theme Park World. And that is why we are proud to announce here today in the grand finale that at the end of this month, we will be cutting the ribbon on Podcast the Ride, The Second Gate. Ground is being broken as we speak. Podcast the Ride, the second gate.

Ground is being broken as we speak. This right now is the groundbreaking ceremony. Yes. It's a whole new world of bullshit to explore. So we're talking about Patreon exclusive content. That's correct. Because just in case people don't know what second gate means, because there's probably people that may not know.

Sure. They're not insiders like we are with their theme park terminology term that's what happens when a park opens a second park next yeah so they call it a second gate yes and the gate is this is it's like california adventure to disneyland but we got to it way quicker and it is going to be way better out of the gate this isn't like cheapo original california adventure this is a top tier e-ticket experience and all you need to do is purchase a patreon park hopper pass and then you may enter a fantastic world with hundreds of new digital acres of discussion of you know of rides and hotels and treats and

all of the things. Specific character a lot of we've been talking about specific characters. There are robots that literally have no backstory that we would like to talk about for an hour and a half. We have a lot of fun stuff to talk about. There are alien robots that we're obsessed with and we'd like to talk. That's all we'll say.

There's a lot of fun'll say we won't explain everything yet but this this is this is the groundbreaking ceremony we're all inserting pantomime shovels into your floor mike and we'll be a fun way to kick off our one year anniversary too yeah we're heading to the one year anniversary there's a lot of stuff going on but let's get to the thing that is happening right now uh our our guest is here you know him as the guy who all podcasters uh rip off their business model from ladies and gentlemen from doughboys returning to the show nick weiger is here uh guys thrilled to be back i'm so i'm so excited about uh podcast the ride getting its own surfers cove which as we know is the water park that's

next to lego land of course all the surfers yeah so i mean and we and you know i think we're all waiting for it to happen it finally is here i was actually honestly i'm like a little deflated because it's going to come on here and i was going to castigate you guys for releasing 19 bonus episodes for free and not figuring out that this was something that you could monetize especially with an enthusiast fan base that you have but i'm glad that you're doing this because this is like in addition to because you guys put a lot of work into the show it's a very good show it's a very entertaining podcast one of my favorite podcasts thank you and uh and uh you know but you haven't really have you made any money off of this you've been losing money on this right yeah yeah we made a little from the

t-shirts the first round of t-shirts but don't tell them that we're made we made nothing the economics of podcasting are are tricky because even even the ads that you run are like you know you're sharing that with a network and the money that's not you're not there on there's necessarily great money for those so like you know some sort of paywalled content is the is really the only way some people can make money off of it and i'm glad you guys are doing it because you should do it because it's a good show and i'm sure you have listeners will be excited to support you so i'm very excited for this this is great i really appreciate that day one and we oh on day one. Oh, boy. Oh, geez. And we had also talked about and thought about, do we put some of this behind a paywall?

And do we put this episode behind the paywall? Just one. Which would have been really cruel. Right. But, yeah, I don't know. We wanted to be nice and generous before we get real rigid and put up big old barbed wire fences, like the ones you don't even see on the outside of Disneyland,

but you're there. They're there. If you try to jump a wall, there's hardcore security. We're going from humble artists just happy to do something for free to we're about to merchandise the hell out of this. If we could, and somebody tell me if this is possible, if we could have a Jason Plush doll within a year. If somebody knows of a way to do this where we're not going to lose a million dollars.

And the scale on this would be one to one? All right. It's going to be one of those episodes. Wow, this is just going to be like the other 18 sectors. I think now that you say one-on-one, it's called a real doll, I believe. So that's possible. That's a high-priced item now. You can feed hot dog dinners.

There's an opening in the mouth. Nick, you have a relationship with the real doll manufacturers, right? Oh, wait a minute. You have a full dining room table's worth you dine with every evening? Yeah, I dress them up. We have dinner parties. It's a blast. I'll have Chase into your collection soon.

In a dunce's cap in the corner. Hey! What? That addition is hurtful. The dunce cap? The dunce cap is where it went too far. We've all got to have a code. We've all got to have a line. Back off, Carlson.

I said there was going to be an expensive doll people would have sex with. That was you. Four-speed hot dogs do. But the dunce cap. Well, that's because Jason is, I think his spirit is from a time when dunce caps actually were a line. Right, right. He remembers how hurtful those were in right, right. That's true. No greater shame.

Yeah, we've lost track. You know what? I am so sorry for the dunce cap remark. Okay, thank you very much. That said, Podcasts Are Right dunce caps will be available on TeePublic. Oh, yeah, we'll get to sell them all day long. That's fine. Okay, so Nick, thanks for being here.

I feel like for, I imagine over the many years of dough boys now you've like there's a high concentration of chain restaurants up at city yes you must have been up there many a time for the show we've probably overlapped and covered a lot of stuff that you've covered for the show uh specific city walk visits we've made for i think four chains um margaritaville uh johnny rockets tony romas with the it's the only tony romas i think left in socal and um and the other one we did up there is bubblegum shrimp company yes yeah and you know there there it's it is yeah it not just chains, but specifically those chains that tend to be concentrated in touristy areas. Places like Bubba Gump and Margaritaville.

Like, that CityWalk is the place to find them in L.A. Either there or Hollywood Boulevard. The Hollywood Boulevard area is so horrible. I mean, like, if you guys were doing, like, 19 Hollywood Boulevard episodes, you'd want to kill yourselves. It's such a dingy unfun area and versus city walk is at least you know something approximating a fun spot yeah and it's possible to have fun there we had fun there because we should say before we uh explain every step of this thing that we all the the four of us uh literally did walk through every parking garage yeah every we didn't like go stand in

every space or anything we might have skipped levels but we did want to get a general gist of what all these places are and not that that was fun i thought we're all pretty exhausted by the end of it yeah i was i had my full backpack which i have with me today because i was carrying around uh with all my work stuff so that that was an added layer of challenge for me but i i did find it uh i did have a blast it was a real hoot i'd not and you know that wasn't the only thing we did we should say that we did other things on the yes that we did other things on this trip that that made it more conventionally fun but even walking through the parking garages was fun i like that yeah yeah And you get some odd, you know, some genuinely cool views of stuff. Right.

There's a lot of weird talking points. But I might say that walking through the parking garages is more enjoyable than having to park in the parking garages. 100%. Which not all of us did, which all of us actively avoid to do. Yes. In all of our visits up there. Oh, wait a minute but wait are we

talking about the parking garages today i don't think we know we haven't gotten the official actual assignment but how are we going to be sure boys boys he's here he's in the room yes yes i'm here and i i have more strength than ever boys you look Wow. You look great. Yes. It's like one of those milk commercials where you start small and have grown and grown. Exactly. And you're a big strapping lad now. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yes.

I'm so excited for Sector 19, boys. You've alluded to it. Sector 19 is parking garages. Yeah. That is official. Thank you. Charles Atlas, hero of the beach. Yes. Yes. Everyone. parking garages yeah that is official thank you Charles Atlas hero of the beach

yes everyone he started small and he got became the hero of the beach I couldn't have put it better Charles Atlas oh yeah Charles Atlas

it's perfect we're all thinking 60s comic book hero Charles Atlas that guy you worshipped when you were a young man yeah I would mail away so bullies would stop

kicking sand that day right Sheridan, put down that periodical with a picture of Charles Atlas on the cover and go sit on the corner with a dunce cap on your head. We did put him in a penalty box a couple episodes ago. He did get a dunce cap.

He's asking for it. Secretary Keefer, we're in Sector 19. Were you ever worried that we weren't going to make it? Were you fearful during this journey? There were times where I wasn't sure. It seems like you were getting distracted by treats at times. Oh, no, that was all pertinent and tight conversation.

Yes, of course. And at other times I thought maybe I enjoyed purgatory. I wasn't sure what heaven would be like. There was a time where I met a little boy named Colton Burpo. Wow. He went to heaven once. Yeah. And he made a movie about it.

Heaven is real. Heaven is real, boy. And I wasn't sure, and it scared me. But now I'm getting excited. I'm getting excited because sector 19 is the final sector it'll be the final sector stone and my soul will be complete and ideally well i don't know what's on the other side but hopefully it's good yeah hopefully we're we're uh minutes away we're only i can, you know, two and a half hours away based

on how we do these things. But with every minute that we get through this thing, maybe you probably don't even want to rush things along with your coughs. You probably want to, you're probably a little scared of what's coming at the end of the episode. I've never really mentioned this, but for every Earth minute you spend in the show,

it is a hundred years for me. Wow. Oh, no. You're trapped in a weird time paradox? Yeah. It's difficult. But I do understand that this sector is very tenuous and very detailed.

And there's lots to talk about. And it's a sequel to one. I don't know if you've talked to any other, like anyone who keeps sectors over at Downtown Disney, if you've heard about when we did this before, but we did an episode about the Mickey and Friends parking garage that was excruciatingly detailed, and I can't imagine being any vaguer than that time. No, yes.

Just keep in mind, 100 years for every minute. That's all. Oh, so every minute that I'm just going on and on and on and not getting to the point, those minutes, you're in hell for hundreds of years. Like this one right now, this is an eternity for you. Yeah, you wouldn't believe what I've seen in the past 30 seconds. Oh my gosh.

Sector Keeper, during this time, does it feel like you feel like a hundred years worth of i haven't eaten a meal i haven't had a drink of water i haven't had an hour of sleep i haven't used the restroom all of those all of those god that sounds miserable everything heals slower too right so if i were to pull my hamstring it would take a hundred years to heal and you're working your job checking people into purgatory during this time i'm still working in missions at purgatory oh god well i want to say that as soon as like as soon as you're free i have a gift and i i will tell you what it is it's a dvd

of the movie gladiator um and it's just because he hasn't been he's not exposed to pop culture got it for his culture after his time. Gladiator? Gladiator, yes. So there's a DVD of that I have for you. That's something to look forward to at the end is what I'm saying. So this might feel like forever. Considered one of the best films of the period that you've missed from 95 on. Starring Nitro?

No, not starring an American gladiator. A man named Russell Crowe. He was mostly working in Australia when you would have been alive. Yes. And then he became a big star in America. Some people think this is a bit of an arthouse movie, but I think it's a real crowd pleaser. What? Thank you.

Thank you. You know, I actually, Sector Keeper, and I didn't tell you guys this, but I actually have a gift for you as well. It's a CD of the debut album of Russell's a uh it's a cd of the debut album of russell crowe's band 30 odd foot of grunt so if you just want to catch up on what the the best music of the era that you're not familiar with all that as well yeah you bring me strength you really bring me strength thank you thank you oh you're welcome yeah um well we got to get you listening to this album and watching this film and watching all

the crowfoot so let's get down to it we're talking about the parking garages today um i i feel like a subtext of our mickey and friends parking garage episode is that the disney garage is so efficient and relatively pleasant for being as sprawling and teeming as it is and it's just stressful to park there especially with a family no matter what and uh but they they keep it pretty pleasant as opposed to universal yes which is a big fucking mess 100 it's just chaos when you go to Universal. You don't know where you're going to be parking. It feels frantic from the moment you get off the freeway.

And you're approaching those parking structures. There's cones just arbitrarily blocking your way in different directions. You don't know where you're supposed to go. I feel like until the moment I'm turning into the garage, I don't know. I feel like I'm turning the wrong way down a one-way street. It's so stressful and then you're assigned to one of five different structures although in my experience i've only ever been pushed into one of three structures uh the the the other ones are kind of enigmas to me um but the uh the structures are oh wait

no it's six right it's actually six as six, as we discovered. There are four structures. Yes. And then two surface lots. Oh, okay. Oh, right. But they are still separate parking, what's the word to use? Zones. Seven sectors.

Parking sectors. Thank you. We have six mini sectors within sector 19. Right. So we'll label these 19A, 19B, 19C. Thank you. And then the spaces are, it's like they're smaller spaces. They're not easy to park in.

It always feels like when I'm parking at Universal, it feels like I'm parking at a mall during Christmas. It's like so, like it's so busy and everyone's so crazy and you just are turning and you feel like you're going to plow right into a stroller that just appeared out of nowhere. And it's gotten to the point that when i go to universal now i i take the train or i take a a lift like i try to avoid driving to it because it's just so it's such a pain in the ass and hey that also lets me get a little more crunk you know what i'm saying oh yeah yeah in fact this time i mean we've been we've parked up there a lot recently because we've

been up there so much right this time i think the only one of us that actually parked up there was you mike you're correct running a little late i wasn't running late and i wanted to try something out okay yeah i don't know if it's the time to reveal or maybe do we should we maybe talk about more let's talk about regular parking experience yes i agree i agree where we um which you know i guess we'll just talk in order well how about this the broader parking situation i am looking at a chart that explains how the parking works okay um and it is divided into several categories it shows you the parking general parking preferred parking front gate parking valet parking and five dollar movie parking and then it shows you what those cost before 6 p.m and after 6 p.m and there's various little notes

within all that of how those prices differ from sunday to thursday and if you're in the city loft club valet parking zone or if you have validation from a full service restaurant or if you've valeted for under two hours or over two hours and here's what I have to say. This is way too much and Universal Studios I think

particularly caters to tourists from out of town who do not speak the language of English and imagine if you just know the most basic english words and then you are confronted with a super complicated parking diagram right with vastly different quantities and prices like truly like day changingly you're already spending a lot of money at a theme park and then with that but if you go one minute over one thing that can be 30 more dollars

it's true madness how could this chart be this complicated yeah it's it's too much and also too and i i don't know if you were touching on that in the validation did you mention the movie theater uh no we haven't well a little bit in the episode or did we i don't know but that but that is they they do the the park the movie theater will, but the way the movie theater validates is you give them your parking receipt, and they give you cash. Well, that is how they have been doing it up until the last month. Wow! They changed that policy?

Yes, and that might play into what I'm talking about with the hack. Oh, my goodness. Oh, you used their own flaws against them. I feel like I now I've teased it too much I guess I gotta say yeah with all of this

let me say a couple prices sure go for it if you're just going to if you're going to a regular day Universal Studios you're paying $25 which is more than Disneyland

yes $5 more than Disneyland yeah crazy Disneyland is $20 all day if you go to that Mickey and Friends garage but at least it's consistent

and I'd say Disneyland is better than Universal of course oh yeah yeah i'm kidding park you mean oh i was just at the parking garage i thought you meant the garage is too sorry uh 35 is preferred parking which takes a couple of minutes out of your watch a little less of a walk to get there front gate i'm not sure where that drops you off 50 val. Valet, if you're over there for over two hours, is 45. These are heavy. Priced at $45 for a two-hour, minute-long meal. This is all the stuff that you're seeking to avoid.

It's why I've spent a lot of time, because I'm from here. I've spent a lot of time finding the places to park down the hill, walking up the hill. Yes. a lot of time finding the places to park down the hill walking up the hill yes uh you know just figuring out what's the shortest lift route to where i can get off more financially scot-free there is there's so much to avoid and that's why mike i'm curious what you figured out to avoid well i'll start by saying i think this works because you're not supposed to park in that in the metro lot no and they're monitoring that now more than they used to around 2003 you were set well there's i don't know maybe they aren't there now more than they used to around 2003 you were set well those i don't know maybe they aren't there's more cameras signs are scarier i think you just gotta pay

where is the where's the metro it's right down on lancashire first of all this is not the hack i'm just giving you another idea for a hack yeah but i used to do that and now i don't feel as comfortable because they put up a lot more signage they have more signage but you pay three dollars okay oh it's just three so it's three dollars for like the day this is a good first hack what i see i have not tested this out so don't maybe do this if you're worried but i don't go pay pretend you're walking over to like the escalator and then just keep going like there's no way yeah they can start arbitrarily towing cars that they think as long as you're paid yeah so that is a good way to do it someone would have to be watching you carefully i would say maybe if you're going with you know

a family and you're clearly you're clearly going to the theme park like you know right maybe you're wearing like a you know minion gear or whatever it's like it's like that then you're going to be at someone that they'll they'll target is like okay i know this person's pulling a scam but if you're just like a a you like a couple of adults, just going to like, you might be riding the Metro. Leave your Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts at home, though. Don't telegraph that. Or change into them

up at City Wall. That's fine. Put them in a bag. Put them in a duffel bag. Keep them underneath a hoodie and not underneath a Harry Potter cloak. Yeah. Or, if you can, take the red line because it leaves you off at the bottom of the hill. Red line is good. I walked up.

Very reliable. I've done this a couple times. Walked from Ventura up the hill. The sector keeper and I walked up, just parked on Ventura in a meter. I guided you. Yes, he had two sets of footprints we we talked before in a previous sector sector keeper about how when mike has like waking nightmares and uh caused by blackout curtains that's you calling to him you you've been summoning him for years as he has these horrifying dreams that's right yes

yeah we just figured it out we just figured it out why are just figured it out. Why are you doing that? That's very mean, I think, actually. Oh, I thought you liked it. My bad. You thought he liked it? My bad. No, I was like, my sleep would be disturbed. Oh, well, you know, it's like a sleepover. First person that falls asleep.

It's like a sleepover inside me. Yeah, it gets razzed. Sleeping. But it sounds like you've been giving him a taste of your hell When you do it Yeah well in hell no one sleeps Only sleep paralysis Oh god

I have another question We've started to feel your presence Looking back throughout our lives And wondered if we had Encountered you in some way Let me just ask if you remember the day, and I bet that you do, when you perished in the Dancing Fountains. Yes.

Was it because you got in an especially long Jodie Maroney's line and the last person in the line was a short brown-haired child wearing a future Lakers club t-shirt? And was that the thing that made you go, oh, how about I do the Dancing Fountains instead? Oh, yes. It's all coming back to me, yes. I think I might be responsible for your death,

Dr. Cooper. Oh my God. What? It was me, and I didn't mean it. I just wanted a hot dog. You, you, you caused my death? I mean, it could have been anyone i didn't it this just occurred to me club boy in your friends with sparkies i don't know sparky i really don't i swear i am not i am not in alliance with that awful man i know i'm in alliance with nick mundy

now but there's other people i look i'm Otherwise, I'm not to blame for anything. Bad man. Bad man. Bad man. Mundy, bad man. I don't think I'm a bad man. This episode has not been released yet. I don't know what went down with Mundy.

I'm very excited to learn. He tried to rearrange the order of the sectors. We all learned a lesson about friendship from it anyway. Oh, okay. I just, I wasn't in any way responsible, but you would have, look, visiting the Dancing Fountain should have been a fun thing for you it was fun and i can't hold you responsible i hold sparky responsible he took my place in heaven he he's the one he's the bad man he's the bad boy you're not bad boys you're good boys thank you we are good

i think i feel like you're really backtracking here. It sounded like he was directly responsible for your death. And now you're just like, I think you're saying this to make him feel better. Mike, tell us about that. We got to get to the hack. We got to get to the hack, Liger. Who cares about the person responsible for that? Keep in mind, one minute, 100 years. Yeah, that's true.

You can get over a lot in 100 years. Don't dig deeper in your memory and realize that that this hypothetical boy cut in front of you and pushed you out of the way no no it because that didn't happen i do but i do remember that my parents went to put their names in a bubba gump and i was uh i was lured towards the fountains all right so you were also waiting for your parent it's your parents fault they killed you dude yeah yeah it's their fault also i had a staph infection give me some fucking antibiotics oh wow whoa he's learning how to curse he's learning he's truly becoming a real boy you've given me strength also i gotta hold a new medal uh and gaining my my consciousness and uh oh you know about like lint biscuits yeah it's awesome

oh yeah isn't that dope it is cool yeah do you like wes Bizkit and stuff? Yeah, it's awesome. Oh, yeah. Isn't that dope? It is cool, yeah. Do you like Wes Borland and stuff, his makeup? Wes is cool. His eyes are cool. Yeah, that's hell yeah they are. He's like a devil. Homework sucks. Hey, oh boy. You're getting a lot of attitude as the years come back to you.

So, the hack. Tell us about the hack. All right, this is very important. Okay, so first of all- I think I know what you're going to say. Probably, because it's sort of similar to a different hack that I've mentioned on the show before. And I honestly, I'm a little worried about saying this because we'll lose this hack, I think. If someone listens to this, somebody will figure out a workaround.

Jason is literally spinning a Mickey fidget spinner. Yeah. Is that what that is? Yeah. It's been a long day. I've been doing this occasionally. And you're so stressed out About the hack disappearing It is very calming

So anyway I'm excited to hear about the hack It's just like That's such a modern thing I expect you to be playing With like a cup and ball Or something Yeah

It lights up And everything It lights up Not like toys From the 1930s I'm surprised you even know How to use that technology Yeah

If you are listening And you hear A slight whirring sound and you'd like to complain to us about it, write us on Twitter or on iTunes. Or keep it to yourself. The hack, Mike. The hack.

Okay, the hack. Boys, boys, the hack. Okay, so the hack. While you're talking, Jason's just going to push a little hoop around with a stick. Like every episode. Got a maypole in here? He's one of the little rascals.

Let's be honest. Okay, hack time. Here we go. Again, I'm scared. I don't want to lose this hack, but I think I have to say it. So here's what you do. Now they've taken the movie theater discount,

which is knocking it down to $5, but you should just be handed out in a dirty piece of cash. Now it is. Which is insane, by the way. You walk up and they give you cash. They just hand you $15 in cash. Insane. Or $20, $25.

If you pay $25, they'll give you a $20. You just have a 22-year-old handing you a $20 bill at the end of your movie. It's like you're doing A drug deal Yes In the lobby of the Universal Cinemas Which is crazy to think about How many 20s

They have to have on hand Right Because if you see What 500 people See a movie On a weekend So you gotta have Do somebody do the math

Oh way more Way more than that $10,000 That's exactly right In 20s There's a fucking Heist to be done Oh wait a minute Maybe that's why They changed the system Yeah because now That I think about They still have this $10,000 in 20s? There's a fucking heist to be done.

Oh, wait a minute. Maybe that's why they changed the system. Yeah, because now that I think about it, they still have this cash system in place because it doesn't work if you book it through a Fandango. It doesn't work if you book it through several other movie sites. Oh, got it. You have to book it through the AMC website. I feel like there was some way to find out where the vault was.

If there was some sort of omniscient being that knew all of the secret places up at CityWalk. Boys. I guess we'll have to talk to you off air about this one. Or behind the paywall. Patreon episode one is how to rob CityWalk of

$10,000. You pay us five but you'll get a guaranteed ten thousand down the line pretty good deal yeah that's really good all right hack time yeah now it feels like we shouldn't even get to the hack right no just come on all right here's what you do we're going we're going in we're going in the parking garage i thought of this last second so this made me feel really great because i was doing this like on the fly i I was like, you know what I can do? I bought a movie ticket for, you know, an hour from now or whatever for the house that

Jack Black movie that Eli Roth directed. The house with the clock in the walls. The house with the clock in the walls or whatever. And I was like, I know that they now have a digital way to get the rebate or whatever. So I bought the ticket. I got an email that said, here's your parking code. Have them scan it at the thing or whatever at i bought the ticket i got an email that said here's your parking code have them scan it at the at the thing or whatever at the booth and let's add this to the mission impossible score and right before i got to the booth i canceled the movie ticket and got a refund wow so i showed and i was like i wonder if this is

gonna work because if it doesn't then i can actually just do the same thing again in a second or be like oh i just got whatever i'll have to do like the manual thing and go get cash or something right i showed it to him it was a tense 25 seconds and now again i'm a good boy but so i was sweating pretty hard here right he scanned it he goes all right here you go and five dollars was the price now the only extra thing i had to pay was there's a service fee that's not refundable sweating pretty hard here right he scanned it he goes all right here you go and five dollars was the price now the only extra thing i had to pay was there's a service fee that's now refundable so it's like a dollar fifty okay so six dollars and 75 cents or 50 cents parking hack with my movie theater canceling trick wow so you waited to cancel until like right before you were right

before i exit that being said i think you can cancel after you've done it too probably. Yeah, that's the next try. So again, this is, don't tell, guys, if you're listening, don't tell anyone. Because I would like to use this in the future. Sorry, for the movie, it was a movie that was going to be starting after you knew you were going to leave. Like you timed it out that way? No, I just said it was in an hour. An hour from when you parked

or an hour from when you left? It was like, like you said, we parked at 6.30, it was 7.30 movie. So this was a movie that you didn't, like you didn't, but wouldn't it have started?

How did you know like when to, I guess I'm confused about when the transaction took place. I bought a ticket at 6.30 on my phone for a 7.30 movie. We went to the parking garage at 6 35 you're paying as you enter the parking garage not as you're exiting now that they've changed and now their system is susceptible to my trickery yes what if they start now like

geo tagging it somehow they prevent you from buying one within this is the danger of me saying this on this show first of all what they should do is like how they, when the government finds hackers and they're like threatened to lock them up, instead of locking me up, they should hire me. Yeah. That's what they should do. To help them make the parking more expensive. Yes. I will find ways to clamp down on the holes in their system and add more tiers of parking.

If there's an extra 30 minutes, it's another $25 in valet. Let's figure out ways to get more money out of people. I'm willing to join the team. Hire me is what I'm saying. You deserve the Frank Abagnale Jr. treatment at the end of Catch Me If You Can. Yes. You get rewarded after your life of crime with a plum job at the FBI. That is exactly what I'm asking for.

So there's the hack. That's a great hack. That's amazing. Amazing hot off the press's news i had a hack past tense but i think i spoiled the hack for everyone and it's not a hack that anybody else would have had but here's here's what happened i largely stayed on the schedule as a universal tour guide um in order to get free parking in order to like still be able to use the employee parking which you park in the frankenstein lot by the way and the uh so i even so i basically well i would do a shift there even though i had a full-time other job i would do a

shift there once a month partially to keep the parking right situation uh and to get a slight amount of money in return but then uh they took me off the schedule like and there were enough people they didn't need me i was i was fired from that job via a letter with a form letter that went to like six other people so then i didn't have it anymore but i still had my id so here's what i did i scanned it in. I believe whenever the year needed to change, I, in Photoshop, changed the expiration date. Now, I probably could have taken this a step further and laminated my false badge, but it was always inside a plastic lanyard thing.

Got it. So I just put the paper one with another little, you know, like a punch card for a sandwich shop behind it in order to increase the thickness. And so I would go through the sandwich shop. What's that? You can name the sandwich shop. I don't think I know the specific one. Yeah.

Could have been a Jersey Mike's. I don't recall. OK. But any sandwich shop will do. And I thought you were being coy with it. I apologize. No, no, no. call okay uh but any sandwich shop will do and uh i thought you were being coy with it i apologize oh no no uh any sandwich shop card can help with this scam to get free parking at universal studios so i would just you know those people are not paying a lot of attention uh in the booth uh i'd flash that thing real fast oh yeah i go through wow one day after successfully doing this six or

seven times the guy started he half waved me through and then said, wait a minute. Oh, no. A nightmare. Yeah. Stop me. Heartbeating. Good boy. Trying to keep it calm.

It's like I was pulled over drunk driving, though that certainly has never happened. This is the worst driving thing that's happened to me. This was like 100 years for you. Yes. This waiting period. Why did you get busted by security. It was a purgatory. And so the guy eyes it, opens the zipper, takes out the false ID with nothing on the back,

and then just looks at me and goes, I'm going to keep this. You turn around. And he watched me turn around and go out the main gate of universal studios wow you fucking cad yes this was something i think i'm a more good boy today than i was then i was really pushing it i was young i was dumb i wasn't afraid of risks so but here's what ended up happening was that uh the i was worried i was going to be put on some list and I wouldn't be able to go back up the city walk again. But instead, the badge was handed to somebody in the front office. It was thrown down on somebody's desk,

and they said, hey, put this thing on file. We've got to watch out. This guy, Scott Gairdner, who used to work here, he's using a false badge to try to get free parking. So I don't know. Just keep an eye on him. Put him on some list, whatever you've got to do. he's he's now he's using a false badge to try to get free parking so i don't know just like keep an eye on and put them on some list whatever you got to do the person whose desk that landed on was a friend of mine wow who immediately texted me and explained what happened i just got a paper id

on my desk that's so she was able to just crumple it up, make sure it was like nothing ever happened. Oh, my gosh. So you and I both, you're screwed. Like, this is very revealing in terms of maybe we have to, we better cover all the other Universal rides soon, because we might end up on some, and Jack was here. He revealed a lot of Jack's secrets. Oh, yeah, Jesse's real bad. Sneaking into Universal without paying. Wait a minute. Can I reveal mine?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. We're all done up. without paying wait a minute can i reveal mine yeah yeah oh my god so i this one i feel like is kind of known though and i haven't tried it in a few years but uh when i interned on the back lot you know i had a generic universal kind of badge and what i would want to go up there they told us like oh go to the frankenstein lot go park in the frankenstein garage and usually just flash the badge and they wave you through right i was also like later told by someone after i had to give that badge

back like oh just go park in frankenstein tell them you're there for a shoot or like you're going to the talent office just just tell them that they don't give shit that's it that was it and you haven't tried it in a while i haven't't tried it in a while. But you did it. I think I tried it like once or twice. It seemed to work. It worked. I've heard other people say it works. But I don't know. They may have changed that now because Extra wasn't shooting their Extra shoots up there.

And now there's a lot more production going up there now. I feel like it's much more. That's the new Street Show Thorn up there. Yeah, I'm just going to Street Smarts. They'll, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah, you just keep abreast of what the production is that's going on street show up there yeah I'm just going to street smarts they'll yeah that's great yeah you just you just keep abreast of what

the production is that's going on in that universal lot that's a great idea look up the name of the the host of street smarts I don't

know it offhand but look it up say you're his assistant you got to get up to the you're late for the street smarts

here for a snapchat thing there's another snapchat street smarts bonus content verticals I'm a slam

ball player I thought Jason's dark universe universal confession Snapchat. Street Tarts bonus content. Verticals. I'm a slam ball player. I thought Jason's dark universal confession was going to be that he stole a bunch of butterscotch from Popcornopolis. Like unprocessed butterscotch? Cook it at home. Put it in the microwave. Cook it at home before they mix it in the cornsns just the industrial blocks of butterscotch right it makes sense because you have a fresh glass of butterscotch every morning buttermilk oh buttermilk

that's not true i took a sip of buttermilk once when I, and it's disgusting. It's awful. It's mostly used for baking. It's very strange. I had a joke, I mean, about your eating years ago that you regularly ate curds and whey. On my tuffet? On your tuffet, yeah, yeah. God bless. Well, the next heist that we do once we figure out the the movie theater heist

then we figure out the butterscotch heist right we that's really the key to this doing all 19 sectors is we know the ground so well that's true yeah yeah now like maybe this is the birth of us becoming bad boys huh maybe that's the little plush list bad boys sometimes it feels good to be bad whoa wait a minute sector keeper himself the influence of corn yeah yeah do you so have you been bad in purgatory or what like because you're always a good boy i'm a good boy no but i don't know maybe you guys are rubbing off on me oh okay, okay. Our coolness is making you cool? Yeah, I feel like I'm running with the cool crowd. The way you describe adulthood rules.

Did you know that chocolate-covered starfish is buttholes? Hey, whoa, Jason. I'm still a kid. Okay. But you were listening to that? Never mind. Have you gotten to that Limp Biz got into that al olympus kid album are you on the first oh you have yeah i started it okay have you broken any stuff since then

all the time oh damn boy wow there's gonna be no purgatory by the time you're left yeah well i just feel like i'm so close uh you know you guys are doing so well and you're giving me strength oh yeah but i guess we'll really give you all the strength if we start talking about each individual parking garage here we go get ready listeners that's what's happening unless there's more hacks to go through uh not right now at least all right let's go in the order that we walked through them with yes uh uh so uh we started in curious george right uh with you you know what i'll hold off my thought on the theming but it is i will say generally because because there's one thing i want to zero in on when we a few garages from now but in general the theming is chaos like it's

completely incoherent there's nothing running through it it's it's kind of like you know you've got the toy story lots over at disneyland and it's kind of you know you you get that okay these are all toy story characters they've zeroed in on something specific mickey and friends they're all mickey care they're like you know the canonical like main mickey characters here it's just sort of like it's all over the place there's there's stuff for kids there's stuff for adults there's like classic movie monsters there's there's modern franchises it's it's just it's just you like universal's library uh of franchises it's just all over the place and some are characters some are characters you're curious george but some are of whole film some are whole

films it's very confusing uh but curious george uh you know i will say that i like the signage the signs look look nice. Yeah. And it's a five-level parking structure. At least that's what my notes say. The view, so actually parking at Curious George is not pleasant. This is one of the three structures that I parked at before. You know, none of them, I think them are appreciably better or worse than the others

at least that's my take that's my layman's take you guys are experts you may have a better a more nuanced view of of the lots as in comparison to each other but they're all like kind of like unpleasant to park in um uh but the uh you know i guess we're gonna what we did is we went to the top levels of each of these structures and the top level of Curious George has pretty good views of downtown Burbank. And good views of Universal backstage. Yes, that is actually nice. We were looking over the big holding area where I discovered Botanicus back in the day. The rotting Botanicus.

And we saw some stuff back there that is maybe a spoiler. Or it was just something temporary that they are restoring. From like, yeah, it's half a dinosaur next to a bunch of porta-bodies. Right. And we wondered out loud if that's a dinosaur being added to the Jurassic World's re-theme of the Jurassic Park ride. However, I think if that was a complex animatronic, they wouldn't just leave that sitting around.

But Botanicus was just sitting around. They either left Botanicus out, and obviously he was not being installed into the ride, but still, you know. So yeah, or it could just be like a less mobile robot, you know, maybe they're adding a couple other things. Who knows? It was big though,

and probably just for a photo op, but who knows? It looked like it might have, what is it, it's the I-Rex? Is that what it is? Oh, the Indominus Rex. The Indominus Rexus it looked a little different than indominus it wasn't that is it the one in the new one they did they engineer a hyper killer one at the end of the phone worse than the irex that's worse than the irex because the irex was bad they can aim like a sonar gun at a target and shoot it and the dinosaur can track the sonar

at that target oh okay i don't know if that's that was this one but so if you go to the top of curious dirge you maybe get some universal spoilers along with getting an actually amazing view of of burbank and toluca lake and a lot of the San Fernando Valley. I will say this. I took a lot of photos while we were up there. Some of the prettiest, nicest photos I've ever taken on my phone camera. Right. It was kind of around sunset. I was getting some cool lens flares. And somebody gave us the tip.

And I don't know if we take this because we're good boys, but in this episode, maybe we're turning a little. Maybe we're becoming bad boys. But somebody on Twitter or somewhere told us that's a good spot to you know maybe roll roll roll up your car roll down your window get a little high wow yeah would you guys ever no do we dare i think it was a listener said like get a little stone and watch the sunset from frankenstein i think frankenstein gives a different angle okay but the top of frankenstein is the uh the the theme park the theme no that's true top of it yeah um but yeah beautiful views of the sunset up here and the the san fernando valley and the mountains uh this is a good tip

i would say like if you've got if you're coming to la for the first time taking out of towners go to the top of this garage or the one next to it that we'll talk about. Great views, great photo spots. Right. And similarly, if you want a good picture by the Hollywood sign, look up the Hollywood Reservoir and the Hollywood Dog Park.

That's really where you want to go to find parking, get photos. Just a nice little tip because you don't want to go up the streets that a lot of people live on. They get cranky. Bother neighbors and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also too it's and and you know i think people

can perhaps infer this uh from our tour of these garages but you can unlike some theme parks you can very easily just walk into each of these garages if you so desire like you can just go ahead and go on a walking tour through them if you want to get to the roof and check out those views which we did yeah send us those pics if you do it walk in our footsteps do the legendary walk like christ's walk up the hill with the cross this is now the second best walk to do a tour of um speaking about the parking so the actual process of parking i feel like the uh you know actually pulling up to the the gates is fine it's it's not like you know once you're in the structure like i don't feel like the, you know, actually pulling up to the gates is fine. It's not like, you know,'re being guided down a different, like you almost don't have to think about where you're going to park. Here, I think there's a little bit too much discretion left to the driver, which creates bottlenecks and also creates additional stress.

And also I feel like, too, the ceilings for these levels, I think, are a little low. It feels a little cramped. Yes. levels i think are a little low it feels a little cramped yes i also feel like i'm pulling in and there's an employee there who suddenly starts gesturing in a way of like no no no that way that way like suddenly it's like really hurried and so you're doing something wrong but why i don't know what the problem is here yeah one person calls in sick the whole thing could fall apart because they seem to have like half the amount of people flagging and waving people in than disney does because disney literally as you're saying like walks you through it like it

makes it dummy proof here we went in this is one of the many parking stories we have a couple months ago lindsey and i she has an electric vehicle and they put a little thing on the front of your car that says ev and then they point you to where where you go at a certain point there was no employee anywhere to tell us where to go there were three choices we chose one it took us out of the parking garage and into the curious george parking garage which does not have electric vehicle parking so we were like what the hell like we were trying to figure out where we were going we went into the we went out of that the et parking garage into curious george then had had to exit Curious George, exit all the way, and then go back into the ET and go like, hey, we just paid.

Where are we going? And they're like, oh, go. And then they pointed at us, and we finally figured out what to do. But that shouldn't happen. Yeah. That shouldn't happen. You should be flagging. You should be really hardcore on every car because, you know, it's a big, confusing place. Yeah. That shouldn't happen. You should be flagging. You should be really hardcore on every car because, you know, it's a big confusing place.

Yeah. Conversely, when we were up there walking through, the most Universal employees I've ever seen because it was the second weekend of Horror Nights. So, they had cones everywhere. There's people everywhere. There's tons of people. What was that for? Was that about people?

Horror Nights. Oh, yeah. It was scary to us, too. What was that for? Was that about people? Oh, yeah. It was scary to us, too. When you're a full-grown bad boy, you're going to be into that. Yeah, you're going to think that's cool. Okay. I just always think, what if one guy takes it too far and really gets in your face?

Yeah. It feels like there's not a lot of oversight. I don't know. Like, what if all the seasonal hires who are not usually around were just there for that month, and they would essentially hire anyone? What if one of them brought a knife into their job for the day? Or they put the chainsaw they have

that doesn't have the blade on it? What if he snuck the blade in somehow? Oh, man. Like, he swallowed the blade in a little bag oh because he knows he's a sicko well not that because he gets to go through a metal detector so maybe he put like a lined bag with the blade inside his stomach and then he shit it out and put the blade on to that's true could be a ceramic blade doesn't set off could be a ceramic you can probably 3d print a blade now

and you could take a plate from any universal restaurant shatter it use the piece uh-huh shove it into into the throat of some halloween or night right i but you're making me not want to go as i've continued to not go for well we have to go jay i said we should go this year jason of course said no and i said it would would be funny, but we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. And we've got some stuff coming up for this, the most spookiest month of the year. We sure do. But maybe Sector Keeper, you can go when you're free and you're real.

Do they let fourth graders go or is that too young? I think you can go, right? I think you can go. You have to go with a parent or guardian. So if you're with your cool uncles, then you could go with. Yeah, I should mention, yeah, you're with your cool uncles Yeah Then you could go with Yeah I should mention You're Yeah you're my guardians

Oh Yeah Oh Wait a minute That's the deal Like once you're free We take care of you Well at the moment yeah

I mean I'll do my best But Oh cause he can't He doesn't know where his dad is Or he doesn't know where his family is Oh yeah Wait The host of podcast

The writer Your legal guardians Yeah Yes And then when they can't do it you can right i mean yeah i guess so succession yeah the most read the last guest out the door in right in a saga series would have to take care of if that's okay um yeah i'm okay with the wire part certainly as for us i mean is this some binding document that if from the afterlife like it's kind of above our heads so we have to do it or is this just like you're where you just

want us to be your uncles uh is there a difference in your hearts between the two great question legal responsibility helps make the case why don't we just see what happens when we get all 19 stones together who knows maybe you transform and you're the age you're supposed to be oh that's interesting you don't need a guardian we're not i don't know but it'll be like big and he won't like know how to uh live on his own right right you saw big that was in your yeah yeah i loved it well you might end up end up living a big life we'll see it also sounds like Weiger will watch me, right? I mean, if we've established a line of succession,

I think the odds are pretty low that all three of these guys are going to be... A separate malady. Yeah, they're all going to be incapacitated, and I'm going to have to take control. So I guess I'm okay with that. Okay, cool. All right, let's keep going. Boy, be careful. Yeah.

I get caught on a technicality. Well, let's go to a more pleasant less scary character than these halloween horror nights murderers that we've been discussing let's talk about our old pal et yes so we what we took a land bridge from curious george over to et uh which was uh we were very we're actually like a little you know speaking to you guys being good boys we were like a little worried because there was a there was a universal employee at the end of this uh this this ramp that connects the two structures and we were a little worried that this guy was going to give us some guff walking over there instead of driving um on this through this roadway but we just we

just went for it can the listeners guess who was the most worried about this who was the most i'm trying to remember who was it who do you think jason wasn't me it was me it was you sir i was yeah yeah you i felt like you were like very hesitant to step well i didn't like i was hesitant because it it's a it was a pathway but it was kind of like a well blocked off let's say this though we shouldn't have been walking there. Right. Probably not. It wasn't because if a path... It's open to pedestrians and there was a little...

There was a little walkway, but the walkways had things jutting out in front of them. So there was no clear sidewalk to walk. Yes. So I think in the official universal rule book, that was against the rules. And I think that that's for sure. What is the line for if not for pedestrians to walk in? I thought it was against the rules and i think that that's for sure what is the line for if if not for pedestrians i thought it was just the shoulder i thought it was just like a little bit as fair a freeway doesn't have a sidewalk it's just a shoulder they don't want there's no practical reason to have people walking from parking garage to parking garage i don't think i mean that's yeah get to their vehicle in the

web of many many confusing parking garage if your car breaks down on the tiny bridge between et and curious george then you need a place to go out there and wait for the tow truck to come so you go over and that's just on the little sidewalk there i was initially nervous and then i gambled like this guy probably doesn't give a shit or like your gamble was correct yeah or this guy was distracted by the incoming track like he was waiting there's a lot of cars coming in right and that's what he had to do because yeah horror nights was like an hour from start we survived the pedestrian not the pedestrian we survived the auto bridge the first obstacle of our journey we made it yeah we made it into the et structure and went up to the top and went to the furthest space that you

could possibly park from the theme park yes which the number was 7w yes this is a seven level structure if you're in et 7w you are the furthest from that which if you think about that the furthest corner of universal studios is probably the transformers ride all the way it's like miles away it's a literal miles long walk uh i when we were up there because there was that that would that level was huge and completely vacant the the the exposed roof level and i was just thinking like man how fun would it be to ride some bikes up here just like Sure. Just like this giant open space to just ride around.

That'd be a hoot. They might let you. There's bike racks in these lots. I bet if you brought a bike there and you went to the top level and you were just riding around while it was unoccupied, you could do it for a while

without anyone bothering you. Yeah. I would be a little stressed out doing it. I'll be honest with you. I mean, I'd be stressed out doing it too but I mean, I would, it might be fun to try. Sure. A little stressed out doing it i'll be honest with you i mean i'd be stressed out doing it too because but i mean i would i would it might be fun to try sure it was a little stressed out doing our little we did a little photo shoot up there we took some pictures that's true sunset you were stressed out about that uh you know what i was more stressed out nick and i talked about

this when we were up there um this stressed me out more they had blue light phones like every few spots yeah you have been on a college campus you might know the blue light phones of like pick this up if there's an emergency right and they built those into the new garage that stressed you out yeah does it to you it indicated that there was not extreme security and that maybe like a segway car paul blurt might take a long time i think jurassic parking is so close to CityWalk. I don't think there's a lot of that there. All of it is close to CityWalk.

Yeah, but this is like the farthest away from like if you needed security or something. So I think it was a call box, essentially. Yeah, and maybe it's for auto trouble, but I don't know. And maybe it's something that was put installed in the years before widespread cell phone ownership cell phone ownership but it did make me think like oh this is a high crime zone well and i don't want to dwell on this but there was there was a murder in a city walk parking garage and it's really bad it's not a funny murder oh my god awful murder and it does indicate that there is enough uncovered ground up there that something bad could happen. And now, one of you make a joke after me mentioning the awful murder. What in your mind would constitute a funny murder?

Clown dying? I don't know. I guess somebody falling off the structure wouldn't be funny. No, yeah. If he landed flat and a marching band walked over him like a gun then oh if uh one person falls in an open manhole oh no that's tragedy yes as he takes a flick of his fidget spinner and looks wistfully into the distance right that's a million people die no that's comedy one person reacting to what you did after

the thought. You know what I realized on the back of the little petals of this fidget spitter? There are drawings of fidget spitters. That's cool. That's awesome. Post pics of that for the audience. I think this is the quote. I think it's a version of this. It's

comedy is one person falling into an open manhole and dying. dying uh tragedy is when i stub my toe it's like the idea that something that happens to me is tragic no matter how how small and something is comedic if it happens to someone else even if it's like horrific right that's it you know since we're since we're talking manholes to get us to a lighter point yeah i'm probably jumping around i think this was in the frankstein lot, but I'm not totally sure where. But in one of the Universal parking garages in the 90s, there was an event that was only open for two weekends where you could go down a manhole and who would you meet but your

pals, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yeah. You love them. I would have lost my mind. They're still around. They're still kicking ass. There's a promo for this. I'll put it on the Twitter.

But yeah, seeing kids sneak down. They turned the top level of a parking garage into a sewer. Oh my God. Yeah, legitimately cool. There were TV ads for it that were fully produced, even though it was only open for two weekends, apparently. But a friend of mine, David Love, went. And in addition to that, you could get crazy turtle kinds of pizza.

You could get pizza with gummy worms on it and stuff like that. That's so awesome. Oh, heck yeah. Yeah, that's your kind of food. Somebody was just telling me about this because I got to do it when they were a kid. And you would get a free figure. Yeah. You would get a free, and it looked like it was original.

It was original line figures. It was all the original, like, you know, just the Turtle, Splinter, Shredder, April. You would get a free one, and he said like, you would just go back in line and get, like, you could go every day. This sounds like something that your liar friend would say at school, you know, except that it's true. You know, like,

your liar friend would always be like, like, oh, they're working on Super Mario 4, and it'll be out next month. And you'll be like, what are you talking about? I have a Ninja Turtle version of it in Liar Kid. He goes, I saw the, I don't know what he called it, trailer, the preview for the Ninja Turtle movie. He goes, in the movie, Leonardo takes his sword and slices Krang in half.

And I was like, what? Whoa. Oh, my God. Much more grisly than anything in a turtle movie. But I thought that that was going to be

in the movie when I saw the movie. It's not true. You didn't see it? It was out. Yeah, now that I think about it, I saw it.

That seems like you're lying now. It seems like you didn't see it. It's okay. You can say you didn't see it. It's okay to say it. Yeah, I just,

I don't know. I just wanted to fit in. Hey, good news there's like three or four more ninja turtle movies you can see in like a dozen different cartoons with different animation there's so much content cool yeah um the they should make because like and now in this era of you know they're they've got they're we're building harry potter land we're building star wars now in this era of, you know, they've got, we're building Harry Potter land, we're building Star Wars land. In this era, they should build a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sewer that you could go into and hang out in, and you could just sort of like, they've got a pizza joint down there,

they've got turtles, walk-around characters, they've got kind of like their sort of lab laid out. I mean, that would be fucking amazing. Yeah. Dads and sons and daughters and moms would all enjoy it. Yes. All the types. All the types would enjoy it.

Right, because Ninja Turtles has reached a point where people who grew up watching it now have kids. Yeah, they should 100% do this. That attraction, the way you described it, sounded amazing. This is one of the great properties that is untapped in Theme Park World. It only was for two weekends, apparently. And there was a live show in disney world but that wasn't much yeah but they would have to settle on one style of turtle unless it's a historical thing and they try to do right all the styles of turtle well i mean you know they've got a color scheme they've at least decided upon that make them the theme park exclusive turtles a different design

yeah there's already 10 different designs let's make the 11th be the theme park exclusive turtles. A different design. Yeah. There's already 10 different designs. Let's make the 11th be the theme park exclusive turtles. And give them a little dick like you're Leonardo. Yeah. Post a picture of that little dick. We will post a photo of Leonardo's little dick. It's right over your shoulder. Yeah, I love it. It's cool. Yeah.

Somebody said a turtle sex organ is in his tail. So that is Leonardo's dick. Oh. The toy. We're all staring at a turtle dick sex organ is in his tail. So that is Leonardo's dick. Oh. The toy. We're all staring at a turtle dick. Whoa, Wiger, Wiger, easy. You're going to, okay, all right.

You're going to break the toy. Make us put you in the penalty box again. So, yeah, turtles. He climbed over me to get it. I just want a closer look So the E.T. garage This is new though You mentioned like

Oh did they put the Emergency phones out there This was built In conjunction with like Oh we need more parking For the Harry Potter This is two or three years old Was it really old

Wow this is that recent Yeah Okay Because that's why they have the electric vehicle charging in the bay in the lowest level and that cool tunnel the et tunnel that like the et tunnel is fucking awesome yeah yeah it's this this blue lit up hallway it looks like something from a music video right and et's there and the moon is there and the bikes are there it looks great and honestly it's like it's like one of the best photo ops i think in city walk like it's just it's just such a cool it's like that's worth the trip

over to that et parking garage if you like like just cool shit to look at yeah um i am surprised though hearing that this is a recent build why call it et which is not the most irrelevant of properties in this day and age especially if it's built for harry potter demand like why not why not harry potter you know i wonder because there are no harry potter lots i wonder if because there's no levels either right that ever have harry potter i wonder if that's in the jk rowling agreement that like harry isn't a fucking parking garage character okay he lives in hogsmeade or whatever in Hogwarts Castle. I wonder because it seems like they have such a specific hold on that to not use it in certain ways. Like Harry can't just be hanging.

Like, for instance, if Harry was around when that Trump photo was taken with The Apprentice, Harry would have been barred from appearing with Trump. There's this crazy photo where Trump is clearly in the middle of, you're fired, and he's with Curious George and Frankenstein. And Shrek is there. Bizarre tableau. And they're all dressed like Trump, except for the mummy who doesn't have Trump pants.

He has his regular mummy legs. But otherwise, and since they're all suited characters, they're all looking in different directions. So Shrek doesn't know where the camera is, nor does Frankenstein. It's great. And if that had been the furthest Trump had ascended in power, I would love Trump.

He's friends with Shrek. Yeah, of course. Shrek is a friend of mine. Do we have more about E.T.? E.T. is the best parking garage It's got high ceilings Even though we got lost in it The problem with it is

The cleanest, they need more employees directing But when you go down to electric vehicle charging It's very spacious The ceiling is high It's fairly nice You go right to the escalator There's a little bridge and then you're over there like if all the parking garages were like that i think you've got it's a whole

different ball game absolutely yeah yeah uh half the size of mickey and friends for those keeping track of facts wow um and that's a pretty mighty parking garage and still only half the size pretty crazy uh let's keep marching to jurassic parking which we tried to walk into, and we got up to the end of some stairs that led nowhere, and even though there was a big sign that said Jurassic Parking, I think everyone likes that it is Jurassic Parking. That's fun, and you see people Instagram that or tweet that. I just wanted to mention real quick, because you were talking about walking up those stairs. One of the things we walked by climbing those stairs were some bad kids sitting on the stairs vaping.

And that's just like an element that you have to compete with at CityWalk, because there's some roughnecks about it. And I kind of like, it is the kind of thing where I'm so much more of a Disney guy, that that element of CityWalk, when I'm around around like, Oh, I might just stumble upon some, some, some deviant youth. I'm just like, I'm like, I'd rather not deal with that.

I'd rather be around some wholesome families having a good time. Yeah. Say that for the walk over. Like I did when you're down at the Metro stop. But we, but yeah, Jurassic, the pun I like,

we, okay. I like the pun in isolation, but in the context of the other lots, the pun, I like the pun in isolation. But in the context of the other lots, it doesn't work. Because one is called Jurassic Parking, and then the other just named the name of the property or the name of the character. Frankenstein Parking. Exactly. You have to make some sort of effort at puns for the rest of them, or you don't do the Jurassic Park one.

Because that's also, too, that's the one that's not a character. All of them, yes, Curious Georgia and E.T. are the names of the franchises, but they're also the name of the characters. Jurassic Park is not a character. It is a, I mean, in a sense, Jurassic Park, the setting, is a character in the film, of course. In the same way that New York is a character in Woody Allen's Annie Hall. Oh, fuck, I never thought of it like that. same way that uh that that uh new york is a character in woody allen's uh annie hall oh fuck i never thought of it like that but um but uh it's like it's so but the it should be like the ian malcolm lot or something like that right it should be like like like a character from

jurassic park if it was a raptor a lot if it was that sexy ian malcolm that everybody likes online and that with that artwork almost everywhere that everybody likes online and that with that artwork almost everywhere that would be mine yeah that would be great i mean that's a little too body for me but uh it's also bleeding everyone forgets sexy and malcolm is bleeding make it as you're saying et is a little old like make it the new character you know the main character of jurassic world that character that we all can name right now oh you're chris pratt's character no but his name we know his name we know yeah one two three four oh and grady of course right and grady everyone said it uh yeah so just

i definitely didn't say jonathan borg i said owen grady uh-huh i think is grady's last name yes yes it is there'll be no further discussion at this point because it is. I agree. I think Jurassic Parking is really where it gets chaotic. That's where, well, chaos theory unfolds. It's a mess. Yes, I think I would call that the worst. It's the most claustrophobic, and it's the one where if you park in there,

you don't know where you're going to come out. You don't know if it'll be in the food court you don't know if it'll be uh above the bubba gump i think there's still another one like next under the sketchers it has many exits and you don't know which one it's gonna be if you're trying to meet friends you don't know how to meet them and where a lot of times you have to immediately like walk to the edge of it and then go down to get to what feels like ground but like it can trick you into thinking like wait no i thought i was on ground but it's like no you might have to go down one or two escalators it has a light tunnel too similar to et i think it's just not as good no it's not um it also has an area that has caused us a lot of, a lot of turmoil and that is the

valet lot. And we have several instances of parking in the valet lot to, to talk about. I think sheer complained about this a little bit when he was on. Um, but we've had some incidents as well. And would you like to talk about, I believe you have one, but there's also another story. I have a valet. I've tried valeting in both of the frankenstein and jurassic park um and jurassic park ninety dollars huh well well there were

seven they were seven dollars because i had meals set a timer and sprint to your destination yeah man that's stressful so i did the jurassic honestly the jurassic parking valley even though it's not as nice aesthetically because it's older, that went, or no, excuse me, I reversed that. That one actually is nicer than Frankenstein. Frankenstein Valet. Well, do we save it for Frankenstein?

Because the other story we have is about Jurassic. So should I, is that what you're getting at? Alright, so here's what's happening. Earlier in the series, in a previous sector, we pre-recorded some thoughts about a valet incident with our guest, Jason Walliner, and now we turn to a pre-tape. Hey, future us.

We're back here in sector three, having just recorded with Jason Walliner. What are your lives like now? I want to know. How is it going up there three weeks from now? Yeah, you've got to be having a blast, especially wandering around the parking garage. Anyway, so we're here to talk about our experience with Jason while you're here

because you utilized the valet parking at at city walk and had a particularly odd experience yeah i found out because i was going there to meet a friend a couple months ago at uh margaritaville and they said if you valet you can get it um validated at margaritaville or bubba gump or any of the sit-down restaurants not the fast food places any of the sit-down restaurants validate instead of 25 bucks it's like seven dollars so i valeted and then we went and uh checked out sector three and then you guys kind of walked me around and talked about the other sectors um and uh and then i was going to give you and then you guys had wisely parked outside of the of the property the limits i was dropped off by my wife you guys walked from very far away

so i was going to give you guys a ride back to your car um so i got it validated at bubba gump uh having not had uh eaten there which is kind of a hack that i came up with yeah um i walked into the gift shop and i was like hey could you validate this and um and she did so i didn't say that i had eaten there right yeah do i come off bad in this anecdote no i mean we're good boys as you know on this podcast uh so we're a little uncomfortable by it but like we've we've strayed here and there we've done some things like similar to this jack allison ripped off city walk more than any other yes so you're not you're not as high as on the spectrum as jack on the ripoff spectrum well how did he do it uh well we listen

we the audience has heard this now back in whatever sector he was in, but he snuck into Universal. He put highlighter on the back of his hand and said it was a stamp. Oh, that's much more than... Yeah, yeah. This is a blind elevation. Anyway, but you were punished then. That actually...

Future, slightly less future us knows that. Yeah. Past us maybe shouldn't know that. Oh, boy, we're hitting some paradoxes oh boy so then we went to the valet and to pay to pay cashier uh the seven dollars i was planning to pay and then the guy was like 45 dollars like what no i got the uh do you not see the bubba gump stamp on my ticket and he points to the sign, which says, I can send this to you guys if you want to put it on the Facebook group.

Yeah, yeah. Should we blur the guy's face? You can blur the guy's face. So the unvalidated, it's $25 for two hours, $45 after two hours. Validated, it's $ dollars for two and a half hours 15 for up to three and a half hours and then 45 after that and we were like just over three and a half hours like or i was because i got there a little earlier um so the tiers of this to say say those prices again yeah it's uh 7 15 45 jumps from 15 to 45 it makes sense that once you get to three and a half hours if you have the balls to present um them a validated ticket thinking you'll

get a discount but you spent three and a half hours there they want to say to you no no you're not getting any discount like you obviously yeah you didn't come here just to eat you came here to enjoy this place and you're gonna pay like anyone else but mike was saying well there's a trick on the upside is he knew a trick that when you valet they give you a golden token official golden city walk coin i'm holding in my hand for a coffee machine a sort of instantly or hot chocolate you know you pick your drink one side of the coin says city walk one side says cup of joe so these have especially made oh yeah and he told us that while we were walking over he's like you gotta get that token uh you have

to ask for it because i've seen people not ask and not get it and so i was like 45 i've i validated and he's like look at the sign it doesn't matter after three and a half hours and i was like well can i at least have my token please and he went yeah sure and handed it to you and then we went around the corner and the machine has a giant aldebaran sign on it. And there's no way he didn't know that the machine is broken, right? He would already got him into it a little with him. 45, what do you mean? Yeah, that's what it is. It's on the

sign. Okay, can I have the token? Give me the damn token. Yeah, go get your coffee. Why don't you? He got a dig in it. Yeah. The reveal as we rounded the corner that the coffee machine you spoke of so highly you as if clear dialogue in a film you have to get the token to get that coffee oh that sounds good i love getting free coffee at places yeah all right let's go get the

coffee turn the corner out of order also he should have given us four tokens for our troubles good point every time i was gone it's only been one. So, yeah, that seems like a pie in the sky kind of a thing in there. That's too much money. They don't want to piss away. So, this was a disastrous encounter. So, this did not go as well as my valet parking experience. And we're presumably, I'm not sure how this is going to plug into the episode,

but we're probably about an hour and 45 minutes deep into complaining about other parking issues so this settles right in and helps us uh and now we'll pass the baton to nick weiger now and see where he takes this discussion but uh i'd like to just point out though that this makes jason walner a four-time guest oh yeah welcome to the four drivers club. I'll take it. Thank you. Oh, wow. Yeah, well, congratulations. Anything you'd like to say to Nick Weiger? Do you want to wish him luck on the rest of the episode? Yeah, good luck.

And yeah, just go for it. Just, you know, yeah yeah here's the baton and just like me in the past i now hold that golden coffee cup point in my hand there it is well from the story from from the very story wow i've held it on to my person this whole time is that ebayable maybe it is now with photos with certification yeah well as we learned from jason in the prior episode if we get a photo of leah thompson signing signing yeah it or something next to it then that validates everything but anyway that story just meant to show the madness and the depths that the valet situation yeah lead people to 45 dollars cards and coins there's so much confusion yeah and yeah i was just gonna say i set it off there but i should have set it on my story is worse wow boy so yeah exactly but when

we get to frank i mean maybe we'll right here but whatever you're gonna finish up the other lots i don't have much to say about the last thing i'll say about uh jurassic parking is there shouldn't be a situation at a theme park where people are stalking people leaving which is one of my i hate when people in a parking garage absolutely wait and sit and wait for somebody to pull out because like there's gonna be another space just move you're stopping the whole thing from like oh that's the worst following people but this parking garage is constantly it's happening and it's so narrow that it's hard to go around sometimes it blocks the whole thing up yeah like it's the worst parking garage there the most bottlenecks and that especially like because there's you know there's no employees

there and at that point it's been filled up because i think they must fill this one up well this one i think is kind of where you it's not a guarantee but if you're coming from lancashire this is probably where they'll direct you again no guarantees i'll say this about dress parking it's got a nice little the valet part has a nice little lighting. Yes, that's nice. Popcorn lights. That is nice. And when I went up for my solo buka meal, I got, the coffee machine was working, and I had a nice. Oh, hell yeah. There you go. There are happy endings.

So, that was good. The first time, too, when I went up and I did the Jurassic Parking Valet, that's the coffee. That's when I learned about it i went i got johnny rockets validated and i had uh like a hot cocoa in my car on a 90 degree day with no lid filled right with no lid yeah but it sounds like we've had two positive experiences and two negative which is not a great ratio so yeah as far as jurassic parking that's those are my thoughts. Jurassic Parking should be chained.

They need to do some work. They gotta do something. Demolish it. Blow it up like Jurassic Park itself. Yes. It's time for a site two. Yeah. Bomb it like they did at the end of the first book.

In the book and not the book. Isla Nublar was bombed, I believe. Yeah, that's right. Because they weren't thinking about it the sequel right like like like the jurassic park franchise the the there's just so much peril and danger and and honestly like inconsistent quality and the jurassic parking and you know i mean that's that's just a that's just an issue uh i i would say that for hearing your guys's valet stories i've never attempted to valet at Universal, but it seems like the valet hacks are high risk, high reward. Like the reward is like getting $7 parking.

That's great. But the risk of getting $45 parking is just so punishing. Like that is just, it's such a... It's crazy. I'll say bigger picture. I think the general parking rates it really seems like early generation city walk it seems like they wanted the locals to come now it seems like they're trying to keep people out it's pretty hostile in terms of how expensive it

is yeah i mean even like i guess like oh after six o'clock ten dollars i guess that's okay but you can go to other malls exactly and park for free it's just a mall you can go yeah it's it's like you know what what's another comparison the grove the grove parking is no is you have to pay at the grove but it's nowhere near as expensive as it is at city walk and there's much better stuff to do there's more stuff there it is better yes so why how does city walk hang on and especially how do they hang on when this is how they treat their parkers right it's just such a it's a small amount of real estate yeah like that's the problem because there's a if there wasn't a theme park

attached to it that's the issue here right it's because the theme park lives on sucking parking money out of people yes there happens to be one that's just plugged in next to it. So it's impossible to take that element out of the, because everyone would be parking up there for free then. It's serving dual purposes and that's its downfall. But if you went to Shoe Palace and bought like a $50 or $60 pair of sneakers and they won't valid, like that's crazy. And then you spent $25 for parking.

But they probably worried about like a trick where you would like get it valid like there would be so many ways to validate general parking it would be like crazy i mean the only way to live in la for a sustainable amount of time is to figure out all the tricks sure i hear what you're saying we're giving you if you're thinking about moving to la these will be crucial this might or you could not go to city walk at all that's not a way to live you want to go to the americana park at the galleria by the target let me let me do my story then we'll start here so so this was at the buca to Beppo episode. Or Peppo, as Jason called it on the episode. I remember everything. Buka to Beppo.

B, not a P. Where did you get Peppo? I think I was saying Beppo. You said Peppo, and Scott says, like, oh, he doesn't even say it right. Beppo. You said Peppo. And in that one episode, you did say, that's a good note to go down on. Hey, 24-7, 365, something stays on my mind right folks oh no oh whoa do you know what that even don't even do you know

about runaway the kanye west song you know you don't even know who he is yeah okay jason's being naughty yeah naughty um okay so so we're back I think if I remember when I was amongst you during that time, you blamed it on having Philly mouth. Well, I did. That is true. You mush mouth it a little bit. Philly mouth. So, we get so angry sometimes.

We can't even finish the words correctly. Puka to Pepo, but it's Beppo. Beppo? Yeah, B. Yeah, you're saying it right now. The sector keeper told you a long time ago. So you did think that was Peppo. That was not just a Philly moth.

No, I know it's a B. Oh, you do? Beppo. Beppo. You're saying P, though. You're definitely out loud saying P. Beppo. And I guess you're thinking about P, too.

Tell us your fucking story okay my fucking story frankenstein valley it was the monday episode and monday and i were running a little late we had just come from an important uh digital content that we we were involved in some digital content very cool uh on wilshire really and yeah so we were running a little late and we were coming i was like you know what we're gonna valet it's gonna be right there we're it's gonna be no problem i thought we were going to the the jurassic valet it's impossible to figure out how to get to one specific parking structure like if you're coming up lancashire i'm like i know where we're supposed to go and i thought we were going in the right spot but we ended up in frankenstein

which is on the other side of city walk from the buca di beppo and so we went i go no problem valet we just walk across city walk it's still you know six seven minutes but not a big deal we go to the valet everything's fine we keys we have a nice time i get a free hat it's lovely we go back and it's about 9 30 was not a late night we got there at 7 0 5 or something and i know because i checked texts of like telling scott uh we're here so i go up i put the ticket down and the guy goes 25 dollars and i go no no no i go it's i was here for under two hours and he goes no you were here at 6 like 15 and i go no there's no way i was here for six at 6 15 he goes the card says 6 15 i i was like but and i'm just like i i don't have any, I go, I can show you text messages that say I'm here.

I go, there's no way. I got here at 7.05. That's not, I'm not crazy. And the guy's like, it says 6.15, $25. And I was like, but you don't understand. I'm not trying to scam you or anything. I go, it's truly, I ate dinner and then we went to the hat store and we're here. I'm not, he goes, and then I see the valet.

So now I'm, to a person that's just watching this go down. I'm a mad man. I see a valet. I go, hey, oh, hey, hey, you remember? Like I came in like a little while and he looks at me like he's never seen me in his whole life. And he's like, oh, I don't, hey, I don't know. I'm not sure.

I go, but I came in earlier and I go, well, you know, it was like around seven o'clock and the guy's like, oh, I don't know, man. I'm so, I don't know. I'm not sure. I go, but I came in earlier. And I go, well, you know, it was like around 7 o'clock. And the guy's like, oh, I don't know, man. I'm so, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, he just was like, I don't need to deal with this maniac. And I go back up there. I'm like, I don't. And Mundy was just sitting over, like, far away, just looking at his phone. He was not involved in this at all.

I kind of wish he was, because I think he would have, like, put his fist through the glass. He's always saying he'll stick up for us and beat somebody up for us. This was his chance. He loves talking about how acquaintances of his, he would bring a gun and meet them somewhere downtown if they asked him to because he's so loyal. He said that about Evan Susser. Let's say it.

He said, I don't know Susser that well, but if he needed me to kill somebody for him in the middle of the night, I would do it. Quote Nick Mundy. He did say that. Yeah, we were talking on the phone. And yet he's in there ignoring this crisis yes he could have come in and like he i'm not a tough guy he's a tough guy he could have really intimidated this guy and this guy and i was having a standoff and i'm like i'm feeling crazy because there's no chance that we pulled in at 6 15 there's no

chance the card time-stamped? Yes. So what must have happened is somebody time-stamped a card before I was even in there and they didn't even realize it. Yeah, that's shady fucking business. That's so crazy. You're paying a premium to use the valet.

You're supposed to get a different level of service. And it wasn't even like the guy who couldn't, and again, these people are, who knows how they're paid or treated, but the guy could have given a fuck about like, he was just like, you're either, I don't believe you. I don't care. I paid $25 to get my car.

Like I felt so crazy. Like I was trying to prove every which way and no, there was no, so I was like, fuck it. This is the worst. What a nightmare. Denied at every turn. Using logic and you don't feel like you're being heard it's like the american people right now you were a metaphor you weren't

represented thank you it is exactly like someone had to say it is it so you had the card in your possession the entire time yes and then they validated that at buca de beppo so the fraud took place before you were handed the car right so what must have happened was either somebody came in and they thought they were gonna have to go valet and they pulled out and they stamped a card and then ended up just putting it on the thing or there's some funny business going on they transposed that card with a different car like they should have handed you a different thing maybe i mean they the problem is then too is that the guy had already taken the card so i never got a chance to take a picture of the card yeah to sort of like figure it out i should have

you know i really should have emailed and complained about it i was waiting to say it on the show i can still email and complain you're waiting for a fan to write all this down and them to email it they okay owe me what me 18 motherfucking dollars. They absolutely do. Let's get your 18 dollars but we need to get Jason's, Lowry's points back. Landry's points. Landry's points. We need to get our 15 dollars each. We paid Jason

Wolleter. Boys, boys, boys. Rob the vault. Wow. Why are we talking $18 when we could have $10,000

yeah good point okay who's really been listening to new metal the situation you've described you would have had to enter from Lancashire

you would have had to avoid it the little turnstiles to go into Jurassic Park parking taking the road down

past the hotel that kind of wraps around the hilton by where the frankenstein no no to get to jurassic valley if i wanted to do that if you wanted to do that you would have to take this little road right right uh that goes by the old uh box office for the the late gibson amphitheater and then gone up the entrance from quenga yes to go which is great such a pain in the ass right why isn't there just signage directing you towards these lots why isn't there just a clear way to get there that one is but it's it's rough the problem is the problem is it's it's too much information as far as which valley you're going to go to convey to convey to

a person driving right like it's on they're on opposite sides of city walk but it's going to be impossible to be like where are you going in city walk on a sign and say here and then direct people like it's that's i get it that it's just like valet parking this way and if you came up here you're going here and if you came up off of venture we know city walk better at this point than any other human beings on the planet and it's still other than the people who built it maybe yeah we there shouldn't be complicated verbal maps that have to be described there than any other human beings on the planet. And it's still hard. Other than the people who built it, maybe. Yeah. To figure it out. There shouldn't be complicated verbal maps that have to be described.

There shouldn't be tickets with false timestamps and coins that don't lead to free coffee. This is all madness. It's madness. And you know, we could keep talking about the other parking garage. Throw in anything else you have. But this is all, it's led me to a higher point

that, okay, in the first episode, we talked about some general stuff about CityWalk and the founding of CityWalk and what it was trying to do and what neighbors wanted out of it. But there were, I didn't get into this in episode one. There were a lot of people who were angry about CityWalk, authors and social critics and that kind of thing and i have i have some quotes from a couple different sources but the it starts with a book called city of courts excavating the future the author mike davis who sighs at the mention of city walk and let me the the bigger the entry point for all this is that people were upset when when it started that you know like town centers should be a vibrant part of the town. It shouldn't be up on a hill and only for the super wealthy.

It is like CityWalk is trying to get people without money to stay down, to not climb up the hill. If you are a poor person in a wheelchair who can't roll your chair up the freeway overpass and to get up to the golden city city on the hill what do you do so authors that people were tearing apart city walk in 1993 and here's a couple of choice quotes uh um i consider it mike davis i consider it the moral equivalent of the neutron bomb mca executives have always stressed the most popular parts of la are now too dangerous the city scene is a criminalized third world so now they go off the real world to simulators buzz buzz there's a struggle going on today to save the democracy of public space i think city walk ought to be burnt down wow

from social critics and let me here's one i don't know the source of this so you can you can google this quote or i'll figure out where it's from but listen this is this kid this guy gets even heavier city walk sneeringly mocks us as it erases any trace of our real joy pain or labor city walk is the moment when baudrillard not sure that is dries a draws a huge satisfied breath and draws deeply on his cigar it's the simulacrum of the simulacrum and then there's further quotes about how la's you know the mca executives did say you know the downtown's too dangerous we built a city for you so you don't have to get into gunfire they said real brazen stuff like that and and that leads this author to this quote. This author predicts that as economic problems worsen,

the territorial carve-up of L.A. will lead to a Brazilian or Filipino-style final solution, private death squads protecting the enclaves of the super-rich from everyone else. Wow. Yeah, kill me with a gun, universal death squads. Whoa. So this is, by episode one i thought this is silly yes that's pretty insane to derive all that from just putting a fake city up on a hill but after all of this parking madness i kind of think mike davis author of city of quartz is on to something and now i'm

getting real worried about those death squads yeah is a french philosopher and sociologist often quoted in like college you know metatextual papers and stuff and in um comedy stuff written by harvard dudes right i see okay very good um yeah the kind of people who read howard zinn There's George Will quotes in here, too. There's a lot going on. Oh, God. I wish there was baseball up there. Yo, that bitch loves baseball. George Will, you a bitch who loves baseball.

Now that's one for the Harvard guys. So, I don't know. Don't these quotes ring a little more true to you, having been in these awful confined quarters, these parking garages? There's places in Los Angeles, up in hills, like little places to shop, and you really get the sense that these are for rich people. All the shops are for rich people. And it's like, it's literally uphill.

So if you're homeless, there's no way you're walking up that hill to go get up here. I think there's truth to it because of geography. If CityWalk wasn't just full of trash. Right. And I mean, food, I mean. Protecting the flip-flops from the war. If it was a much more like attempted a highbrow

experience i would more agree with what all of these people are saying um but and i say trash mostly lovingly like yeah it's full of trash we had a good time yes i've i've ended up being more positive in this series than i thought i would be but this parking garage the more you lay it all out you hear jason's tale they're frustrated there's there there here's here's the issue and this is this is what mickey and friends gets right is that the start and end of a of a day of of a delightful day is as stress-free as a stressful thing can be right and here i feel like it's the most stressful parking situation you'll ever encounter both in both both parking and exiting in particular is hearing your guys's stories of about valets and and hacks gone wrong it's just you potentially could be uh left with a

with a very large bill upon exiting uh the lot exiting city walks slash universal studios where you've already spent a lot of money where it was already like a like an indulgence it's like an extra uh fuck you out the door sure and and that is like that is not what a parking structure should accomplish um you know to to the to the quotes you were you were talking i mean like like like the it city walk is not like an exclusive enclave for the super wealthy it is is not the Brentwood Country Mart. It is a it's it's it's very different, I think, than then what those people were anticipating it was going to become. Because, yeah, it's it's like to Carlson's point, it is it is just a trash place. It's just a junkyard.

Super enclaves for the super wealthy don't usually have an upside down pink Cadillac with a cow. Right. Not always. They might. Yeah. Yeah. There isn't a giant candy store. It's a tacky.

It's very tacky. It's a super tacky place. It's a touristy place. You know, the parking structures, I think, suck. Frankenstein lot, I've never parked in. The thing I liked about it is that it's underneath the Minion Mayhem ride, which is great. That's kind of cool that you're just underneath it. And I think the signage there is actually kind of fun.

There was a Frankenstein restroom sign that you took a picture of that I thought was just in the nice... Where the bathroom silhouettesettes one was the hair of the bride of frankenstein and one was like a frankenstein uh frankenstein's monster yeah which is great like like that's a lot of fun you know i heard like that yeah thanks for getting it back to a positive note no so that that was that was a i think the theming at the the frankenstein lot is is okay um the the other what lots there that we didn't we didn't touch on there's the fabled king kong lot which i've never even seen in person we found that at the very end of the night so that is sort of like a little surface lot during horror nights where a lot of pickup

and drop-offs are okay it's adjacent to the um again the old uh gibson amphitheater standalone little hut box office. And now it's used where like crew trucks will park too if they're shooting up there. Nice and simple. Yeah, pretty simple. It paints an easy mental image. The Woody Woodpecker lot is a surface lot adjacent to Jurassic Parking.

And that's the one where if you pay $35, which, all right, dude, why would you do that? Like that gets you, i guess a little closer yeah but not really the main thing it does is you end up skipping city walk yes which is maybe something you pay ten dollars to do but while so why would you right especially after all this wait you you skip city walk you because it dumps you out right into universal studio but you can backtrack still and you're not banned from going into city walk okay right what confused me early on like as you're talking about this like the the one rep the newer restaurant vivo to the italian place just opened that is like a higher quality than a lot of the

places we ate up there and a lower price point than say like a bubba gump or a margaritaville so like i kind of i don't understand so the parking's going up but food prices are going down same with ludo like ludo is cheaper like you get a little bit of a premium uh charge on that because it's a little better ingredients than like the chicken extra cold yes yeah because they okay for the cold they're not perfect but the pan express is the same pan express that is a few blocks down on ventura right for like two or three dollars more the economics of it makes no sense it's kind of confusing and i think that's the spot where city walk is weak where it's like oh even jason's parking that go over. There's at least a minute logic. There's at least a logic to that.

It's the stuff that there seems to be no internal logic, or it's grown bigger than it can control. It's a weed. It's out of control. It's a weed that's out of control. I think it doesn't have to be this way. I think there's hope. Look at that Vivo situation. There's more reasonably priced restaurants where you actually get the

value that you're after i think that here's what and i think they have to do this with places like the grove and the americana which are total successes everyone snarksters love the americana this mall in glendale with a little trolley and everything it's super cynical people go have a great time i think it's so some parts of it have like disney level theming and production value they did a great job and city walk i think has to step up their game i think you'll see a lot more local traffic if they ease off on all this why do they have to be such greed mongers yeah in this parking area right yeah it it really doesn't make any sense um but you know what's gonna happen in response to this is that they're going to add like the fiona lot from shrek they're just that that's like they'll pick that character for some reason and then parking there

will be like 55 dollars unless you get there before 5 3030, at which point it's $8 if you stay for four hours or fewer. It's like they're going to have a more complex solution that's going to make this even more complicated and convoluted for customers. I just think I don't love getting there and getting out of there, but I kind of do have fun when I'm there. CityWalk.

Yeah, like Jason was touching on, the economics of the different establishments don't make any sense. They're wildly inconsistent. Some places are overpriced. Other places are resembling a value. The movie theater I kind of like. I don't know why I'm getting into my general thoughts we're supposed to be uh we're wrapping up the saga say whatever you want okay because i was worried the sector keeper was glaring at me i didn't want to go for it okay

all right thanks uh but yeah i mean a lot of the places there a lot of businesses there suck and a lot of them are really bad but there's a few diamonds in the rough and it's also just kind of like a fun thing to walk through on if you're going to universal studios it's like a fun little like bonus like like like the same purpose that downtown disney serves so i like it for that reason um but yeah i just wish they'd figure out the the overall experience by the way, we think of all the lots. King Kong, Woody Woodpecker, E.T., Frankenstein, Curious George, and Jurassic Park. Just like the most incoherent Avengers movie ever. We're just like, what is happening here? And the E.T. attraction, long gone.

The Curious George play area, gone. I guess he walks around still. Frankenstein definitely walks around. They should all pick maybe they should just re-theme them all to characters from one of the movies. Right. Just make them all minions. Just make them different minions. And then kids get to see

minions on their way in. You get to see Bob. You get to see Stuart. You know you can tell what which I mean that could be confusing because the minions do look pretty similar. Oh, yeah, no. So maybe that's not a good idea. No, it's the three-eyed one.

It's the one without goggles. You know, but you could be in the minions garage or the grue garage or the girls garage, you know? Right, right. The Pharrell garage. Yeah, the Pharrell. I was going to say just make them all E.T. characters. E.T.'s depressed mom.

Elliot's depressed mom. Elliot's depressed mom. Depressed Elliot. Depressed Elliot's sister. Oh, so they're just versions of Elliot. Maybe they're all just versions of Elliot. No, I think, well, isn't every character depressed in that movie? Sick Elliot.

Well, obviously the garage that you want. Yeah. Hashtag Botanicus. Of course. Yeah, yeah. He's his teacher, yeah. Yeah, he would cheer everybody, and he'd be a nice kind of like guide on the way

to start your day. And put the robot, what's left of the robot in there. Yeah. If he's still bumming around, I hope putting the photo out there can help us track down where Botanicus is at. God, it's so sad. Yeah, have him welcome you.

This way, he can explain all the rules. $45 if you're here past two and a half hours. You know, I think this is it. I think this is what the solution is. I think you keep Jurassic Parking and use that as a baseline. And you go around and you make the other lots named after dinos. And then so you've got because dinos are different sizes and they look differently and that's also fun theming and then they're it's

all like jurassic parking it's all like part of that and you've got the main hub and then you've got these the peripheral raptor lot and the t-rex lot and the the triceratops lot and the was there a triceratops in jurassic park i don't park i don't remember okay oh that's right that's right and you know and and a pile of poop lot right that there you go there you go yeah uh i agree um here's my here's my idea of a solution private death squads protecting the enclaves from everyone else that sounds like universals the purge series oh yeah oh name them after all the different purges there you go uh anarchy first or all the bellas it's perfect all the bridesmaids i have a radical idea that's my idea for what city walk would be in 10 years oh i'd like to hear it uh i think they should just get rid of all the parking

garages and there should be parking garages like kind of far away but then there'll be like a high speed something a high speed gondola something to shoot you up into city walk right because we need so much real estate now for more city walk for more theme park yeah and that those parking garages take up a lot of space and the way we're going if they keep expanding there's only gonna be more people so we're running out of space as it is let's get rid of all parking up there except maybe for an employee i let's let the employees park up there yeah move it a little bit get a little bit further off site and have some sort of what was what was uh elon musk's cocaine dream for

dodger stadium yeah magic roller skates you're getting on yeah let's get elon george will ask let's get elon musk to build a high-speed gondola that'll shoot you from like burbs and burbank parking garage to universal in 25 seconds i think if you tweet that adam there's like a 30 chance he'll just he's like say yes we're working on it we're gonna do it yeah we're gonna do it already underway we asked this one guy to build it but he's a he's a pedo yes once again the diver is a pedo and i will get on top of that um but yeah abolish all parking at city walk yeah i think that's great because also too that that solves a lot of the confusion you got one central lot and that's how a lot of theme

parks work you've got a you've got you've got you're directed to a lot and then there's a shuttle that takes you to the facility why shouldn't city walk be more on that helicopters like jurassic park yes fine great they're running helicopters all day i think that's great and you park up in the burbank hills and then then you see CityWalk and Universal Studios approaching as you fly over it. That'd be amazing. I don't want to just walk right into my segment, but maybe I will. Then you can make a big sort of lake out by Margaritaville, a little man-made lake, and

then you can fly Jimmy Buffett's Hemisphere Dancer plane, the plane famously up by the jamaican government that he wrote the song jamaica mistake jamaica mistake yes right thanks for reminding me okay yeah yeah so would uh would there be a walk around bono character on this plane as he allegedly was yes of course oh that was scary yeah close call i've got a radical solution for this radical problem. Okay, go ahead. Yank that War of the Worlds set. Wow. See it in hell. What? Wow.

Get it out of there. Why not? That's a huge plot of land. Oh, that's been there for so long. Huge plot of land. Who cares, Dr. Keeper? What do you think about this? Wow.

It's such a hit, though. It's so amazing. It's so great. It's such an amazing set. Radical problems require a radical solution. I can't even get it out. Really? I don't know. It's time for amazing set. Radical problems require a radical solution. I can't even get it out. I don't know. It's time for the new, you know? Would you keep Whoville?

Yeah, exactly. Always keep Whoville. Of course keep Whoville. Ike Whoville gets leveled. Whoville is the only thing keeping the Grinch at bay. I don't know. The War of the Worlds, I like War of the Worlds better than I like the Fast and Furious ride

part of the tram. Yeah. Practical. Yeah, it looks cool. It looks great. I like seeing what a horrific plane accident would look like in real life versus like the kind of screeny.

But better than Diagon Alley? Wait, we're not talking about Diagon Alley. We're talking about parking specifically. Kind of close. If you're telling me I have a choice about Diagon Alley we're talking about I'm just saying specifically kind of close if you're telling me I have a choice between Diagon Alley or a plane that's been I'm just saying yes I agree with you put Diagon Alley over there what if the crashed plane was Jamaica mistake was the hemisphere dancer in an alternate reality where the plane was brought down by the Jamaican government yeah that's a fantastic idea slain bono on the ground his sunglasses cracked in half and horror nights it gets even more graphic yeah body riddled

with anti-aircraft fire the edge controlling the uh the gun oh yeah surprise that's the sort of scary twist that you expect from horror nights uh yeah i'm okay with that i'm fine with that uh can i just do one more thing in the parking garages yeah go for it it does kind of make city walk as part of the city kind of an eyesore because those i those those those parking garages are super aesthetically pleasing from the outside but i will say that they in the last couple, they made the trip down the hill at night a beautiful experience. Yeah. They lined them with palm trees. The lighting looks really nice.

Yes. So when you finally find your way out of this crazy labyrinth and you're going down, I feel like it's a very nice and pleasant and better aesthetically than when you're leaving Mickey and Friends. Some of the universal heroes saying hi to you. King Kong, the dinosaur, the Simpsons. All your pals waving goodbye.

This is true. There are signs saying have a good night. Good night, humans. And this gives me hope for the future of CityWalk and parking. The infrastructure that they've done in and around the area. Yeah, that hill is nice. Those signs are nice. All the metro improvements recently, that hill is nice. Those signs are nice. All the metro improvements recently.

That stuff is good. Some of that stuff is more aesthetically pleasing. There was a lot of concern from residents about that they removed a freeway overpass and that it was going to cause a lot of congestion, but it's actually been fine. They did a good job. So there's been some good universal things,

and I say all that just to say, please let us come do live shows there. Don't kick us out just because we set all the hacks and because i tried to sneak in with my paper id yeah yeah we open the john lovett's comedy club so these guys can go into the last yeah let us perform in the abandoned space uh i don't want to rain on your parade a little but um so having crossed over from the metro a lot this time more often than not the escalator up to the bridge has been broken oh so it's just kind of that weird sensation of walking up an escalator that's just stairs that's a bummer i hate that things so i took the elevator the other day the elevator fucking beat up oh no plywood and duct tape someone like punctured the glass elevator door

wait a minute i think i know who did it it's this newly brazen limp biscuit listening break stuff sector keeper sector keeper yeah that's right oh my god violence rules we're better to rebel Than in your own home In City Rock Where you're trapped Yeah yeah I'm sick of this place

It's dumb I want out I think that's how I feel Sector Keeper Yeah I don't know I just You gotta imagine Like I'm

I can't take it anymore I'm lashing out Yeah These are like my teen years man Wow he's got a cool He's like He's got a cool He has a cool leather jacket on. He's dressed like Shia LaBeouf's Williams character from Indiana Jones 4.

That's right. He's got a lighter with a bawdy 40s babe on it. He's flicking it around. Could you please not show that to me? I like babes and I like motorcycles. Vroom, vroom, bitch. Oh, my God. Well.

Watch out. He's got a switchblade. Oh. Oh. He's flipping it around his head. Just a comb. It's just a bitch. Oh, my God. Watch out. He's got a switchblade. Oh. Always flipping around his head. Just a comb. It's just a comb. Oh, man. God.

You got us. That's K. You got us again. Yeah, but I messed up the elevator good. Yeah. Well, I mean, wait a minute. But also, if you're able to manipulate the space around you and if you're in your teen years well and and you're and you're wearing these greaser clothes and everything i feel like that

means that your strength is getting all the way back up to its final state yes you've given me me strength i think i have a reason for that it's because the sector 19 stone this whole time why it's been the city walk gold cup of joe we got that's right we got it early on we didn't know the meaning of it wow then it's just been sitting in your pocket you could have lost it you could have used it as a laundry coin or something no no i kept this close to my heart it was yours the whole time. You had the key and it only cost you $45.

For which you didn't get coffee. Yes, that's right. So we've got all 19 is what we're saying? We've got all 19 stones. Boys, boys, you've given me great strength. You sound so much older now. That's right. I'm feeling great. Whoa! Wow, you sound like a guy who just did all 30 days of like whole

30 or something. Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling really good. Oh my god. Wow. You've aged so many years all of a sudden. Yes, it's all coming back to me, all of it. All the years that I've missed and boys, I have to say that not only do you give me strength, you give me great knowledge and I've learned that through this journey, there are other places I want to visit. You do? Boys, I have to say that there's one more mission. You're kidding me.

As a boy, I heard of a place. A place like CityWalk, But it wasn't Just a city It was truly Downtown Boys In order to complete My soul fully Oh my god

The journey continues I need you to take me To downtown Disney No Right You son of a bitch Damn it Watch right

This old ass motherfucker Look what he led us into oh no now that you're older i'm gonna kick your ass you prick please please i need to experience it take me around the entertainment the food the nightlife i want to see it all wait you seem pretty like yeah you seem like real now you seem like are you just drive yourself. Yeah. Yeah, you're just like a guy now. Yeah. Alright, well, is that an

employee badge? Do you have a job now? Do you work at the ESPN zone at Downtown Disney? Yeah. It's been closed, though. You got a job at a closed ESPN zone? They might be reopening it. That hotel's not getting built. I'm looking for a place.

If anyone knows, has any leads, right now I'm crashing in Altadena. Oh, boy. That's a rough commute. It's a hell of a commute. Yeah, yeah. I mean, all our places are pretty tight. And it's all pretty close to Universal Studio.

We all live close to Universal, and you know that. You want to get into a different part of town. I know a guy who lives in Santa Monica who probably has some space to... Mr. Weiger, can I stay with you? Look, Sector Keeper, I'd love to help you out, but as we've already established, I'm fourth in line for succession. So, I mean, if some tragedy were to befell each of these three gentlemen then then that would be the only way i could possibly let you into the home in santa monica that i share with my lovely wife okay

all right well thankfully we're all in great health nothing will happen to us we all eat right we definitely we get all of our hot dog nitrates yeah And I'm not afraid of anybody having any sort of heart incident. Yeah, Jason has plenty of apple strudel all of a hoed. For dinner. Yes, that's right. Nick joined us on our hotel outing where the waiter owned my ass. Well, I like the waiter said

to you, I guess we're going on our own round two. Oh boy, guys guys here we go again uh oh boy well i guess with that being said uh nick weiger you survived podcast the ride once again you survived the city walk saga and all of you at home survived the City Walk Saga. Yeah. Wow. Incredible. To commemorate the closing out, I'd like to do something. I was inspired by Scott starting the City Walk Saga in a triumphant manner,

and I'd like to close it out on a similar note. Sector Keeper, if you wouldn't mind putting your microphone toward the computer, and I have not rehearsed this, so let's see if it happens. Can you put down your jewel, sector keeper? All right, here we go.

I always knew CityWalk was a great place, now baby I'm sure I love shit sugar for the candy, her name's Harper ray Jason's washing himself with a doughnut what more can I say oh city walking on sunshine oh city walking on sunshine whoa and it doesn't feel good wow i should have rehearsed that one i know you don't need it anymore but does that give you strength i don't know what that gives me. It gives me something. Well, I can't think of a more beautiful note to end on other than my beautiful note to end on,

because I also did the same thing that you did. So no, no, no. I was getting a little worried, but no, I thought, I thought of a different one and it,

and what, what I thought of kind of stems from You know, in the first episode we were comparing All of the works of Architectural works of John Jurdy To different U2 albums And we were just talking about U2 now About Bono's body shot down

In the War of the Worlds era And yeah, yeah And you know, I just feel so Bittersweet at this moment. And I, it's just, I feel like what I've learned through all this is that City Walk is more than just a theme park adjacent retail center. What it really is, is the mall that you can't leave behind. Here, Mike, hit it. It's a double encore.

And if the popcornopolis no longer pops. And if the L.A. sock market runs out of socks, the Raiders still aren't in L.A. So indoor skydive away. You can fly. fly sector keeper fly you're free now goodbye boys oh walk on city walk on if you park you can rebate it with your movie theater ticket park on city walk on it's five o'clock somewhere there you have it wow there you have it boys boys you give me so much strength thank you thank you now why you do yours uh yeah i mean i was i was gonna do mine but first i wanted to let jason uh do his rendition of uh walk on by by the stardust jazz singers

are you googling an old song i was looking for yeah i was over for something like a count basie big band or something that was the best thing to do that song walk right in step right down right so i was going yeah i was like boots are made for walking right i thought about walk on oh yeah i was getting worried there uh it would have been funny if we both we had two different separate lyrics i had been trying to figure out how to uh make the chorus of the videopolis theme song we're going to the walk to the city walk and that's about as far as i got that's pretty good wait do that one more time though and just super commit maybe we could lay in music we're going to the walk to the city walk gonna shop and dine till we drop at the city walk

great great wow we all did songs um and and sector keeper boy i thought we were gonna i was worried i was gonna have to say goodbye to you. And we'd never see you again. But I guess, see you in Anaheim. See you in Anaheim. See you in Anaheim. Just be careful, you're spilling your dip cup. Oh, yeah. Your chaw cup.

I chew skull now. Wow. This guy's cool. I spit it into Mountain Dew Code Red bottles and I threw it. Well, here's the roast. So you've gone from like a 50s greaser to like a mid-aughts dirt bag. I'm still finding my way.

Right. And please forgive me if, you know, when you see me next, it's nothing like this. You know, I'm figuring it out. You're gonna have some tribal tattoos and a tap-out shirt. Heck yeah. Is it possible that you're gonna sound like you're being portrayed by a different

actor entirely? Potentially, yeah. Depending on schedules and whatnot. So people in the audience would have to forgive that if that was the case. You know, I think no matter what the case or cadence or sound of my voice, you know you'll see me one place and that's behind a paywall. Oh, very good. I like the way you think, SK.

Like the way you think, like the way you look, which is kind of like a Phil K. Dick, like morph suit from a Skinner Darkly where your identity is constantly changing. So as to disguise your real nature, but I guess that's between the worlds. You're walking between the dimensions still right yeah that's right well you're one of those and uh yeah us three us three good but increasingly

bad boys are going to be heading down to anaheim uh a lot of trips with a teenage dirt bag yeah eventually with no timeline attached With absolutely no month commitment whatsoever or an amount, goddammit. I know the sector keeper doesn't know the amount of sectors. It would have to be more than CityWalk, right? I don't know if it would have to be. I think there's an argument to be made metaphysically that it would be less. The problem is that we'd have to review all the businesses on Harbor. Oh, no.

Yes, most definitely. Captaines on harbor many miles boulevard yeah yeah just a couple miles of it oh no all right we'll see you for the 67 part downtown Disney saga someday alright y'all you did it we did it goodbye goodbye forever dog this has been a forever dog production

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