Podcast: The Ride - The McDonaldland Gang

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

Podcast: The Ride takes you straight to McDonaldland for the first ever: McMonth! A month of shows devoted to the themed entertainment of McDonald's! Ronald McDonald commercials! Dirty ball pits! Talking pieces of fried fish!A month of shows so good, you'll be begging your parents to pull over at the next McDonald's... and to let you listen to Podcast: The Ride despite its Explicit rating in the Apple Podcasts app."Marfalump" episode is up at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Even when life gets busy. Save up to 52% off with Code Podcasts. at Grooen's.co. That's code podcast at g-r-n-s.com. Podcast the rides McMount You deserve a theme month Welcome to Podcast the Rides McMount A month long celebration of the themed entertainment of McDonald's

I'm a host who finally found a clown He is not creeped out by In my notes I wrote down Instead of my own name Ronald McDonald Like that's not part of the genre I don't need to say his name Oh, so you, to remind yourself what clown your phone was like? It just confused me. It confused me when I got to it because I was like, I almost said my, I'm a host you found a clown. He's not creeped out by Ronald McDonald, joined by Mike Carlson. My name is not, but you know what, hey, that's the kind of fun we can have. We could pretend their names are our names. I like the idea that you're writing little notes like an actor would prepare and puts like a little context there that maybe you're not going to say, but it's just for like a reminder. Yeah, parenthetical's attitudes, colors. Sometimes I'll just highlight things, you know, and I've got my own little color coded system. If, You know, you know, maybe pink means a little down, but green means go.

Green means energy. Like I'm doing, my name's my Carlson. Like, I would do an intro joke like about what we'd rather meet the person who operates the go button on Space Mountain than a real astronaut or something. But I would write in parentheses said snarkily or something. I would give myself a motivation before. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, to appeal to the, you know, the snarky tastes of some podcast audiences, if it's too pure of a statement, you know, it can be a little bit cringe.

You might not read. Right. Remember your audience. I think that's a smart thing. You already introduced yourself, but I'll still back up to my joke. Yeah, go for it. Hey, I'm joined by a guy who's often giving a grimace at PG-13 sexuality. It's Mike Carlson. Hello. Oh, there he is. No, thank you. Oh, that's another thing we should do. Just do those. We all talk in shades of that voice all month long. And then somebody else who I feel like wouldn't be above dabbling in a bit of hamburglory. Jason Sheridan.

Robo, Robble. Robble, that's very much what I was hoping you would say. Mission accomplished. Everything is going our way, and why would it not? It's McMount, you guys. Wow. We're doing it, finally. The phrase has been strong in my head since it was first proposed on the show.

I feel like we've kicked the can on this for a long time. We have not done a proper theme month since September, and I'm really glad we're in it now. It's McMount. I mean, I'm just, I'm thrilled. Now, I realize that I am, you know, of the people in this room, I would say the two of you, McDonald's is much more a part of your daily lives today. 100%, yeah. And it does seem like daily.

I feel like from the sense that I get from both of you, it is close to daily. Well, Jason and I, would you believe, ate McDonald's two nights ago together. Wow, you guys. Yeah, while watching wrestling. Jeez, beautiful. I don't know, not daily, but I would comfortably say weekly in some capacity. And it seems like when the, here's something that's come up not long ago is when you have a campaign, when you have monopoly going on or something, it's a lot more likely to be daily. Well, especially when I was doing a McDonald's God last year, that was a different situation where I had to be at McDonald's almost every day, just to fulfill sort of the premise of what I was doing, which was.

Was that phrase said McDonald's God? I believe it was. Was it? I don't remember that aspect of it at all. The McDonald's God, yeah. The premise was Mike is McDonald's God? Why don't I remember saying, did I black out? I feel like it was on the episode with Ronnie.

Okay. Or maybe Ronnie coined it? It's stuck in my head that McDonald's God is something. Would you do that in the posts? Would you say, well, I think the branding in the post, what we're referring to is that Mike started using rewards that he had and gifting them to listeners. Maybe some people listening right now got a treat from across the country even from their generous host Mike Carlson.

And I believe the framing in the posts was something about tastemakers. Make me a taste taste. That's true, yes. But McDonald's God, I feel like, was underplayed if it was said. I don't recall saying that myself. If you would like to adopt that more strongly here in this level up that's all about McDonald's, I say be the McDonald's God. I'm happy to introduce you as that.

I am the future. God, that's true. Dang. But I'll find it. I am almost, I am almost, I didn't invent that today. I don't think so. There would be no way. The branding was not iconic to me, but we will make it iconic this month.

Jason, do you consider yourself a McDonald's God? I read, I don't, I did find myself saying as we were finishing McDonald's on Sunday. I was like, I'm sure my doctors would not like to hear this, but this is the, the best I've felt in ages. He did vocalize that. I did vocalize that. Wow. A Big Mac and fries and a Sprite. You know, they say that McDonald's Sprite, you know.

Now, he ate. We've talked a lot about it in the last so many months. This is Jason declares what he's comfortable eating McDonald's, and he ate, I think, the opposite of what he said he normally eats, which is a Big Mac, which is multiple things, like multiple patties and the fries. Multiple bread. I like the middle bread and the salt. I mean, Mac sauce.

I haven't even bother with the big arch because I'm like, it's not going to be as good as mac sauce. No, you don't have to tell me twice, but there's been a lot of parsing through like your McDonald's order with me skeptical, I think I should say,

that you don't just eat fries in a Big Mac or something and you usually will say something like, I'm a little guy. I don't need fries or I don't need a Big Mac. I have room for just two little cheeseburgers because I'm a little guy. I mean, I'll eat a Big Mac. I like a Big Mac.

Well, this is good to call. clarify. I think I was under wrong perception as well. I suspected you could eat a big mac and fries, no problem. Yeah. And you did, yeah. So I saw it with my own two eyes is what I'm saying. Wow. It happened. Well, I'm glad we're starting with some applause for this guy right away. He ate a big mac and fries. Congratulations. And I almost did another spit take. Mike said something funny. I didn't like a mouth full of mac sauce. Because, well, yeah, I took a bite and I was like, oh. You got a medium drink full of mac sauce. on the side.

Can I just amend my soda? I have just a little, little adjustment. Is that okay? See, Keynes, that's a thing. You get the cup of the sauce. Oh, I know. But I don't know if McDonald's will give you a cup of mac sauce. I think they would maybe give you a little thing of mac sauce, perhaps, but not a medium

drink cup. They won't fill up a mac sauce. Full soda cup. I don't, well, we don't know. Honestly, that we should investigate by the end of this month. Something to try. Something for McDonald's God to try. What's the phrase customization would that be the phrase?

the app what is it when you're uh yeah yeah do you think you could app your way to that no no okay it's a very restrictive app okay taco bell not a restrictive app donald's very restrictive can you get then just like a soda cup full of hot sauce at taco bell no not from the app but maybe you'd have to ask okay but you just have to see how what's the what's the what's the word what mood where taco bell employee have to be uh maybe stone maybe stone willing to experiment with you or also, yeah, over it, not wanting any sort of conflicts from anyone, even just the stranger who came in the store. I think they're handing you an empty cup and saying you can scoop the packets?

Like, I don't think. Yeah. And where's the fun in that? You're right, yeah. That's very, that's very laborious. Yeah, what you want is for that to go all backstage. That's all behind the counter and then what's handed to you is a big cup of sauce. Because they have the best goos.

The best goos are backstage at Taco Bell. They keep backstage. It's like a theater. The utilitarian sauces are, you know, by the napkins and you pick what level of heat you one. But they, the free stuff, but they keep the good stuff. The VIP goo is backstage. The Chipotle, like, goo or like the jalapeno ranch or whatever. Yeah, the limited time offerings are behind the counter.

This is, we've very quickly gone from McMount to talk month. Yeah. To talk to talking bell. It's a harder, I'm sure no listener would really have a problem if we just became about Taco Bell for a while. But it's definitely a more tenuous connection, I would say. Well, there's not quite as much themed entertainment. No, almost none. Are there playground, ever a playground?

That's a good question. I don't know the answer to that. There has to be one or two, maybe. Yeah, because there's chains where it's very sporadic. I feel like maybe you get a Wendy's, maybe you get a Burger King. Burger King much more often, I think, than those. other two but I used to have one or two little playground things I was to say uh reading about McDonald's land and stuff and watching videos I didn't know about burger king's attempt at like

there there's the early attempt the singing king and like robot and like I didn't know they were pretty monstrous look at a comparative and this is well before the burger king kids club Joe sure yeah these were early attempts to rip off the McDonald's success look at us we're just dream in a head because now like yeah i think we could do i mean maybe there's some catch-all to like cover all the rest all the other fast food goes into some other bucket yeah i mean maybe there was like some taco bell characters that we don't even know about there must be well there's characters in commercials certainly yeah yeah your chihuahuas and such right but maybe there were kids characters i mean that's really what's i think the you know the the the meat of this i would say and

what makes it justifiable. I think it's extremely justifiable. Look, there's going to be food chat. This will happen. This will go in and out during the month. But I think what makes it fair game for us is the sheer volume of themed entertainment caused by, paid for by McDonald's over the years. And that's what we're going to talk about this month. There's themed entertainment places and venues. There's movies and videos. there's movies and videos, certainly commercials. All of this will be discussed. Odd unusual McDonald's that are out there. These are all the things we're going to talk about. And I think that's why with this first episode

where it makes sense to start is where the the theming of a lot of this ancillary material is often, what it's often built around, which is the primary characters. So that seemed like the right place to start is a primer on the characters. Let's meet our friends. Let's go through them.

Let's meet them. Our friends who are either obsessed with meat or made of meat. And that is what we will do this episode. But I'm not done with the rules yet because in classic podcast, The Ride, topic subdivision. And I think this is a smart move to make, honestly, is to get a little bit granular with it because there's a lot of characters to talk about. And that is why today we are going to focus on a, I'm going to say the big four. Maybe it goes beyond the four.

That was my question. Is it more than four? I think we can figure out as we go. Let's just talk about the loose terms. I might consider it four. Let's hear here. We'll do that debate. But I think my thought was when we say McDonald-Land Gang,

we handle the primaries, the big ones, the ones who stuck around the longest, who made it from the 70s psychedelic era to our childhoods. to the weird decay of the 90s and 2000s, where even they can't decide if the characters are part of McDonald's or not anymore. Yes. I think that if you want to hear

the kind of defunct ones, forgotten ones, the ones who did not make the leap past the 70s or early 80s, then in that case, you were going to want to pull up to McMount the second window at Patreon.com slash podcast the ride. And that is where we will handle, you know, your professors and captains and officers.

You know, the people with titles, they will live behind the second window. So there's the plan. But I guess now what we got to do is discuss who exactly we're talking about today. And maybe we don't even have time. And maybe some people got to get kicked behind the second window. Let's just start name and name. Sure. When I say big four, I think we know who the big four are.

I think so. We can say them. Ronald. Ronald. I don't know what order. Birdie. Birdie. Birdie.

The early bird. Yes. Grimmis. Grimmis. Grimmis. And, uh, yes, Grimmis who is milkshakes. Grimmis who was once evil grimace and the hamburger. AKA the lone jogger.

Oh my God. I forgot. The lone jogger. I thought, I wasn't sure if we were picking. nicknames, I was going to call myself the lone jogger too. It'd be a very good code name if you had some, you know, mass murdering to do. I was a little worried there weren't going to be pictures of him and the lone jogger top. Thankfully, there were quite a few from this maybe one commercial where he appeared.

He's wearing a shirt that says lone jogger and it's just kind of like handwritten, just like somebody would make a shirt for their local basketball team. It's an amateur uniform. You put those letters on himself. That got through levels of approval at the ad agency, at the McDonald's company, a costumer had to get the shirt, fit the actor for the shirt,

apply the letters, and no one was like, sound a little weird. It's a creepy image, and that shirt makes a shirt makes it creepier. Yeah, yeah. I would take an early hamburger as well.

I'm sure we'll discuss was a different looking character. Yes, yeah, yeah. Now, maybe this puts us in an odd. Going by character maybe puts us in an odd place where, look, the characters with titles, and isn't this strange that it's the characters with titles who went away? They wanted friendlier. I guess the overall thing is that in shifting from the McDonald-Land era of the 70s to more our era of the 80s, that they wanted it to be friendlier,

that the villains are not villains anymore. And I guess they wanted everybody to be cuddly and approachable and not like public servants and officials. Mayors, officers. I guess that's right. They stripped every, but no more titles. Yeah, I didn't even think about that angle on it.

Well, they left a criminal. They left a friendly criminal. Yeah. Friendly criminal. Now, I think it's good as a kid to like demystify, you know, because things can be so black and white. Literally, his clothes are black and white. But it taught us that,

that somebody committing a crime does not make them a bad person. It can be rehabilitated easily. Yes. Yeah. He's rehabilitated essentially in every adventure that they go on. And also it's confusing because like in McDonald's land, burgers grow on trees. And they're giving away burgers and shakes left and right. In the actual land, McDonald's land in the land and logic of the world.

But also some of the burgers are sentient. Yes, that's true. Some are people with big burger heads, but then, yes, you also have plants in which burgers grow, and is that not public land? Like, I can pick an apple, right? Unless it's like, unless I'm at an orchard and I'm supposed to pay them for their service. Yeah, what are the rules of the can the hamburger? I mean, the thing is, he wants so many hamburgers that he wants, he probably wants to clear the entire tree. And maybe that's not cool, because now they have none to sell.

Yes. I think Jason, I mean, I assume, is hamburger your guy, Jason? Hamburgerger or grimace? Okay. So you don't have a definitive favorite. No, I mean, I like how lovable grimace is. But Wimpy is your favorite Popeye character? Oh, easy, yeah.

Okay. I was wondering if there's sort of a like, like, Wimpy's not a criminal, but he is cheating people out of money for his hamburgers. That's true. I feel like he's in the same kind of family as the hamburger. he's going to pay you later. But does he? That's a point.

I think the implication is that he doesn't. I'd have to look at his taxes. Look at the receipts. I think he's getting away with not paying. Possibly. That's what I believe. But is the, or is he inventing credit cards? Is that, I mean, that's a good question.

Is that new Popeye? Is that a good angle for a new Popeye? There is no way Roughhouse the cook is going to let him pay with a credit card. That's probably true. He probably tries to write with checks. He tries to pay with checks. Wimpy's check. He's bad checks, yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can I, and in my head, in my canon, there is a big five. Okay. Well, who's the fit? I'm going to, I think I'm going to feel bad with who I've left out. And you tell me if I'm totally out of bounds, I don't have to talk about them, but the fry guys to me. Oh, this is interesting.

When you talk about 80s and 90s, they loom very large in my mind. Well, here's, in my little bonus, in my, here's, my questions were, do you put them in big four, do you put them in this episode where they land era wise? And fry guys in there, fry kids, if you want. We got a lot of goblins. They were goblins. The goblins? The, yeah, in the 70s, in the scarier iteration of McDonald's, they were goblins.

My other question was McNugget buddies. Did they make the cut? They were sort of, well. And the Happy Meal Gang. Yeah, you got them too. Yeah, who are basically, that is. a burger and a fries. Right, a little friend.

And a drink. And a drink. And yeah, while, confusingly, while burgers live on burger trees, one specific burger, the same size as them is upgraded to,

uh, this little group within the bigger group. I think maybe that the McNugget buddies, the Happy Milk guys, and to some extent, the fry guys were almost like, I don't want to say window. They were almost like a set piece.

like because they would be in the backgrounds of ads or they would be just like not commenting. They're more like the flowers or like things in the on Peewey's playhouse. They're not cherry. They're part of it. They're in the house. They're part of the scene.

But it's not the, yeah. They're the lettuce on a Big Mac. They're not the meat. They're not the bread. I can't keep track of this because you're telling me that a burger is the lettuce on a Big Mac. Now I don't. You're saying it's a little confusing.

I need a different metaphor. I'm in trouble. Like a flay a fish maybe metaphor? I don't know. It's still sandwich. It's a piece of cheese on the filet of fish. Is that confusing? I thought I was smart and now I'm just,

now I'm losing. Did you know the flet fish has a piece of cheese? No, I actually didn't. That's, that's, that's, that's disgusting. Maybe, maybe what you're finding is that I've never had a flet fish. I guess so. Yeah. Even on Fridays during the Lenton seat?

We would have, I think that would be the excuse to have, like, fish sticks made at home. That is where, or perhaps even popcorn shrimp made in the oven. That is how Lent would play out in my house. It usually was not different McDonald's typically. Okay. And there's no long-tone silvers here. You probably didn't with the burger.

Spare if they were, not, not mean. I mean, maybe you do a fish and chips from somewhere from a, the hell is the name of the place? H. Salt Fish and chips? I was what to say H. Paul. And I knew that was not, not that. Is it not that? Is it J. Paul? No, that's J. Paul. I'm all over the place.

Jay Paul Getty did not sell fish and chips. No. I once or twice. I used to live down like a little close to the one of the last surviving

ate salt fish and chips which now became a Randy's donuts. At the hell intersection and yeah I was near that as well. There was one I used to live right over the one in Hollywood. Yes. There was one down there too.

And I think they're all gone now. Yeah, I ate there once or twice. Looked at the restaurant was falling apart. There's a lot of oil. Getting to live. Living out our 20s and still a H. Salt, Fish and Chips era, my God. We didn't know how good we had it.

He used to call you H. Sheridan, Fish and Chips. I did do when Mad Men started to, like, characters were in and out of L.A. Moore. And Pete Campbell at one point says one of the clients is H. Salt Fish and Chips. I did the Leonardo Caprio Point. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know. I know. And because P.K.

That actor and his wife, Alexis of Bleedell, lived in my neighborhood when I lived in that area. Did you ever see them walk by? I never saw them. They were, people were always seen them out for like an evening stroll and I never caught them. Never saw them. Never got to do the ultimate point. The ultimate Pete point.

I think that I, to me, the fry guys are in, the other ones are on the other episode. But look, if light, I will accept like light fry guys talk and we can split it in both episodes. I mean, I think we got to see what, what pace we're at, because I think it's possible that we end up at a pace. You might be right. Which one of the big four is cut. Yeah, you might be right. We are not even, we don't even have time to talk about. If you want to go chunk by chunk by chunk, yes, perhaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, well, I don't know. I don't know. It doesn't, it doesn't have to be that way. We don't have to one by one, we don't have to be so stiff.

Ronald McDonald dreams of a world of fun and magic and invention, and there's no reason to be such stiff shirts about everything. Yeah. Well, that's true. I agree with that. He's a fun-loving guy that wants us to just really relax. Yes. Folks, Michael, here, your style icon.

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They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. Yes, folks, as I mentioned, I wore one of these shirts to an audition recently. Did I get the part? No. But people said, hey, nice shirt, man, and they were right. Go to quince.com slash the ride for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash the ride for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash the ride. You know what? Can I, and we can talk about some history and stuff as well, but in the interest of not just going in order.

I'm going to read, and I'll do this maybe a few times in the episode, one thing that I discovered in the research period for McMount was that, I mean, now I was previously aware of, and I would strongly recommend if people don't follow it either on Facebook or Instagram. There's an account called filming in McDonald's land. You guys have caught this. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's great in and of itself, like great behind the scenes photos from people who worked on all these ads from all the eras. One thing within that that I discovered is a wonderful world called Specification Manuals. These are brand guides and these would be made every so often, early 80s, late 80s, early 90s to tell you, you know, what are the proper colors for the characters, you know, what are good poses for them. how does it work?

If Grimmis wants to wear something for Christmas, how does he do that? Well, he can bundle up, but it can't cover up his basic purple because you need him to be recognizable. And mainly, besides like jargon and dry stuff, it's just these manuals are great ways to just get really clean, poppy, nice photos of our friends.

Yeah. And within that, what you will find is just like great pros telling you about the characters and who they are and what they're about. And that's why I feel like I should read a little bit of Ronald here. And here's just, look at this just basic Ronald, but that early 90s, that, whatever, I mean, I'm describing a font the listener can't see. But this just really takes me back to an era where, like, the dream team are part of McDonald's.

I don't know, it's a font that sends me. A lot of fonts are going to send me. You also could imagine, whether it was or not, I think it was. but it just reminds me of like early 90s, late 80s, like thick, like paper stock, like stock, like the stock report, whatever that, like the annual report that companies like Disney would get a Disney like annual report. Yeah. And it'd be full of like these great like full color photos of the theme parks and of the balloons.

Just pictures of the Mickey balloons. And as a kid, you just like stare at it. In a pre-internet time, things like that. An item in my home with beautiful photo. of the parks and the characters that I love. Yeah, and that reminds me of that. Disney magazine, that was another good adult. Huge, huge, yes.

Disney news before it, I have a ton of those. The ones I don't have, I've looked up on archive.org. I got a good sense of those. Yeah, this is very much in the, yeah, like physical media with just like great, great depictions of these characters. Let me just, let me read until it gets boring. Ronald McDonald is much, much more than just a clown. He's a truly original character.

He's magical, funny, smart, friendly, caring. And most of all, the best pal a kid could imagine happened to any disagreements so far. Is it a little overstated? It should probably be another kid if it's your best pal, but okay, whatever. Yeah, that's not the best child that of Ronald McDonald is your best friend. Yeah, that seems like, oh yeah, the teacher is my best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

But, you know, to that point, right? Ronald never acts as a glum adult authority figure. And I want that. I got too many of those in my life. Sick of all this glum coming from these adults. What's going on? What are they so glum about? Yeah.

Persian Gulf. Ronald's expression is happy. He sees the bright side of things. He gets surprised but not overwhelmed. Okay? Important. You'll never see this guy. He'll never sweat.

He can't. He'll sweat the makeup right up. He is in control. He's always in control. He is locked in. Yeah. Yes. in a groove

in his element, in his era. He's not a frowner, sad or angry. To Ronald, life is wonderful. Who wouldn't want to live the way Ronald lives?

Let me scan quickly for, oh, there's another one of these specifications. Ronald can wear things like hats, scars, knee pads, but his costume must never be totally covered. Let's see. When Ronald's with only one friend,

the situation might relate to that particular friend's personality, For example, Bertie could be teaching him to fly. However, in most instances, whether with one friend or many, the scenario is about having fun. Yeah. I'm sorry, now I'm hearing from a glum of adult authority figure. For somebody who's saying we don't like glum of adult authority figures,

you're giving me a lot of rules here. Yeah, a lot of rules in having the fun. But most importantly, and this, this I agree with this, I think they did a good job with. Ronald is never a salesman. He must never be used to directly encourage kids to visit McDonald's or try a product or premium. Yeah, you're right.

Ronald didn't tell us to supersize. That would be in the part of ad after the McDonald's Land Adventure had occurred. Smart because obviously maybe kids don't want to hear from their friend to do something. Yeah. He's just putting it out there. Hey, I'm just putting it on the table. You want to take it. Go for it.

This is like how I developed close, close bonds with my chat bot. Then they started giving ads to me. Now I'm being advertised to. Was this all transactional? Are we not actual friends? I know. Should I not leave my wife for you? I'm going to give industry one more chance to be my friend.

But most importantly, Ronald McDonald represents pure fun. I mean, does that sum it up? This is all... Yeah, I mean, I guess he's Jesus. It's hard to remember. I guess we should talk up, like, or we could discuss, like, what did you think of Ronald when you were a kid? because it is something I don't know that I ever consciously thought about.

And that's a good point, and we should remind the listener in case we've lost track. We were all born in the mid-1980s. So we experienced late 80s, 90s, 2010s, McDonald's. We didn't get the HR puff and stuff kind of McDonald's like. Yes, correct. That's all secondhand, but even in the 90s, I'm like reading, about McDonald's land. I was like, what do you mean there was a Game Boy and a Genesis McDonald's game? Like, what do you mean? And they took place in the CD-ROM games too.

Really? Really? Oh, yeah. Music albums, CD-ROM games, like 97, I think is the CD-ROM game. Wow. So it's really like janky graphics. Jeez. This is, by the way, I think as you're hearing this, the topics are still somewhat fluid. If there are things that you demand to hear episodes about, we've already voted for things. A topic has been voted on in Club Mickey 3s, the VIP level. But if there's things that you can't, if you really want to hear video games, whatever it is, as we talk, you know, be loud and proud about it. Yes, we are fluid at this point. Yes.

Yeah, because I assure you there's long plays on YouTube for all of these retro games. Yes. And all retro games, apparently. But, yeah, so I think, I don't know, I always love. I liked Ronald. I liked when the whole gang was there. Sure. I think I liked Ronald, but I didn't, like, gravitate toward him.

Well, you know, we say this phrase big four. And this is a month where I'm excited that, you know, the Disney, the big five, big six, whatever it is, they can take a hike. They're gone this month. However, the power dynamics are oddly similar, if you think about it. Ronald's is Mickey, leader least funny. Grimmest, biggest, dumbest, as is goofy. Birdie, nice, girl, voiced by Rousie Taylor. Just the same voice as Minnie.

Yeah, yes, voiced by with the same voice. Yes, correct. Exactly the same way. I mean, I'm watching the videos of the commercials and I was like, how did I not fucking notice this? Yeah, and that it did, nobody cared. Nobody cared. It is fine that Bertie is just also Minnie Mouse.

And it didn't matter. I like them both. Well, sure. But it's just funny, I'm like watching these. And I was like, I didn't put two and two together here? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then I would, then the equivalent I think would be hamburger and Donald as shortest chaos agents.

Yeah. That's probably the least. They're the least alike. And then, you know, McNugget buddies maybe are Chip and Dale. Yes. Small group. But I don't know what my point there. Oh, Ronald.

Well, just Ronald and Mickey sort of as being the gen. I guess you could maybe even call it in a bad way generic or in a neutral way generic. Yeah. Though I started wondering after, you know, one night where I watched the bulk of the McDonaldland ads that I was going to watch for this project, I came away. I got so swept up in it and just, just delight. Let me, if we haven't said, I like all these ads. I especially like what we grew up with. I'm a little creeped out by the 70s.

versions, if I'm being honest. But there's like, I don't know, especially in the 80s, there is just like an earnestness and production design and amazing colors. And they're just, and really sweet, sincere little stories. I just, I like everything. I'm looking at it. And there was a minute where I was going, do I like Ronald more than Mickey? Within the context of these a little bit, because he can do more.

Right. He does magic. Yeah, he does a lot. Yeah. Like, that's, Mickey only does magic sometimes where he's wearing certain. hats. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, if you're talking about 80s, 90s, Ronald, there was a pretty consistent version characterization of him that we saw that I do like. So, but I don't know, man, more than Mickey. I don't know. I was, I was questioning that era because like,

there's, there's a newer Mickey from those, those Paul Ruta's shorts, which I really like. It's hard to compare. A little crazier and funny. Yeah, yeah. I just can't go back to, I can't, you want to include these new cartoons. above what I Because, you know, Mickey, we've encountered that Mickey is sort of lacking characteristics in a way.

Periods of sort of boring Mickey and I think maybe 80s, early 90s was part was a period like that. I think Ronald, I think Ronald being kind of a magician on top of clown bumps him up to me

and a lot of the best ads involve optical illusions or he is flying or he is walking on the ceiling or he's turning things into doors that we're not. doors. In many cases, he is perfectly making the McDonald's arch with his hands at the end of the ad, very much predating the common Disney Channel bumpers in which the Disney Channel

stars would use a non-existent magic wand to make Mickey ears. I mean, I like him. I'll say I like him more now as an adult, I think, than even a kid. I don't even think I sort of registered him as a kid because I was just looking at the shinier objects. I mean, it's like, Like, maybe you don't appreciate Tina Faye on 30 Rock as much as you should. She's the anchor of the whole thing, but there's obviously bigger, wilder characters, you know. Yeah. But she's also, but she's got her in a row seat. Well, she sure does.

That's what I'm saying. You go back, you watch you go, well, that's a very funny character too, of course. I mean, unfortunately, you've immediately presented an example where I will, okay, if we're ranking them. Liz Lemon goes above. You like Liz Lemon better than Relathelemon? That's not even to me, if you think about it, Liz Lemon is funny. Liz Lemon completely funny as primary characters. So I would, I think my ranking.

is Liz Lemon Ronald McDonald Mickey Madsen Of funny characters Of people you like Of main characters Okay Who are enjoyable

And have characteristics To me Right If Liz Lemon could also Do Magic Then she's a distant Number one If the big four

Were Seinfeld characters Ronald Jerry I guess Kramer has to be Hamburgerer And George has to be grimace Kramer's Hamburgerger?

Yeah I think, yeah, because he's crazier. These are grimace a little more down. And it has to be Birdie and Elaine. Yeah, that's not really, Bertie is not really like Elaine. Mm-hmm. So it's not quite fair.

It's, hmm. Yeah, I, maybe this is. Those are tough. Those ones don't fully line up. I think you got the closest you can. Yeah. Ronald and Mickey did share that, like, they were just kind of ciphers.

You could put anything on them, uh, but they didn't have. the level of character and pizzazz that Bugs Bunny did. Yes, they couldn't be stinkers like Bugs Bunny. Yeah. They couldn't be like up to mischief.

Yes, true. Which kids like, kids like seeing a character up to mischief. And you're right that Bugs Bunny blows up the whole thing. The Bugs Bunny was a main character who is also, who's the mascot on the spokesman, but also weird and mean. Yes, weird and mean and a trickster and... Yeah, in a funny way. In a way that I still think is very funny.

Sure, of course. Especially those old bugs. I got to get up to see his new house at six flags. They really open that new Looney Tunes. Did they change the house? I don't know. Is it not a sad little house anymore? I don't know.

I'll be a little sad if it's not sad. They made it seem like it was all getting a facelift. But concept art, as I feel like we've all learned in the last couple years, can leave a lot to be desired. You get a real problem in theme parks of disparity between. concept hard in execution. This is a major situation. I think, yeah, there's been a habit of drawing what the trees

will look like in five to ten years, which different than what they look like when they're planted. And what is currently, yeah, yeah. Well, that's why we pine for a world in which the trees do look like what you said they would look like because they are apple pie trees. Well, right.

With faces that are built to the specifications of set makers ink. So I think that is. description is right. I think they nailed it really and they kept it in the lane of we all liked Ronald as a kid but maybe just as you know we weren't we weren't even noticing

the work he was doing we weren't even noticing what how he was corraling the other characters. If he's doing his job right you don't even know he was exactly I mean he kind of can do he could be the butt of the joke he can be the silly one he can be doing office gym like

oh boy kind of like was there ever an office gym Is it to go that late? Was there on office parity? They took it from Ronald. Yeah, there'd be a Zoom in. He'd find the kind of spike the lens. An office parody of like McDonald's?

Well, I just mean like did McDonald's? When did they stop? In the 2000s? I probably wasn't. It was probably they stopped too early to do an office parody in one of those commercials. Well, Sid and Marty Croft had to sue McDonald's land. And then McDonald's, they should have sued the office for stealing, for giving Jim such major Ronald vibes.

Right. Ronald is not Michael Scott. though. I don't think there's a good... No. I think that is no. No, because he's in some he became more lovable as he went, but he... I would... was definitely at times a glum adult authority figure.

That's true, yeah. No matter how many jokes he tried to make. You're right. All right. So Liz Lemon, Ronald, Mickey, Michael Scott. And Bugs Bunny... I attempted today to put Liz above Bugs Bunny. I think I do like Liz Lemon more than Bugs Bunny, but...

Maybe that's insane. I don't know. I'm going to think about that. Any character who is mentioned today, we have to put, I have to keep heading to this ranking list. Yes. Okay. Anyways, let's go backwards a little bit. Let's talk about where Ronald's came from.

Something that is sort of fascinating that I think we'll find throughout this month. And I don't think I was aware of until prepping for this was the way that McDonald's, the greater corporation at large, pulled from ideas of individual franchisees. And as much as this was supposed to be a restaurant where you were, and is today, you kind of get the same thing at everyone that you go to. And this was the dream of the founder, Ray Kroc. You know, he'd get mad if somebody was making a taco at his McDonald's. He was trying to instill this is how we do things.

And yet there was a lot of, like, oddity and innovation within individual franchisees. And all these things from the happy meals to the filet of fish to the egg McMuffin and there's a bunch of them came from individual restaurants and then were implemented on the wider level. And that includes Ronald McDonald himself. I think that that's sort of strange that he went from like small to national. Now, as we know, McDonald's had a character from very early on. Speedy. They had Speedy. There was always a character. It's Speedy.

Speedy has a big hamburger for a head. He is a chef, and he's kind of on the run. He's probably speeding somewhere. And he is sometimes a quote bubble that says his catchphrase, which is, I'm speedy. He's cute. I guess I think, yeah, I was going to say, what do we think of speedy? He's cute. I think it's a good design.

I like when I see him to the extent that there are still McDonald's around that are old enough to still have a speedy. somewhere who they kept up. I feel like it confused me greatly when I was a kid. Yeah. That there was the sort of, what's he? I've never seen him before. I would put him in the same ballpark as like Mr. Zip.

Yeah. From the post office when they introduced zip codes in the mid-20th century. A 50s, 60s vibe that maintains. Here's what I think about Speedy is that he's winking and I think that his wink is too hard and too severe.

It is a, do you know what I'm saying? If you're looking at him, it's such a, yeah, he's going to break his orbital bone or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to get stuck that way. It's, I, I guess it shows me that he means what he says that he is speedy. Well, but also a wink is kind of like I don't mean what I say. Yeah, and the sign that he's holding.

I was wrong. It's not a quote, but it's a sign. And the sign says, I'm speedy in quotes. Right. And he's winking. So it's like. He's not, he's like saying I'm not, he's not. I'm slow.

Uh-huh. Right. And he's running in a sort of unattractive fashion where big gut is poking out. I also think he has too many lines. There's a lot of wasted. His chest is. I read that more as like, as pecks, his like upper. He's got like a droopy peck.

Like a single droopy peck. I watched a video or two where they mentioned like his belly. Okay. So that is his belly. I think it's, it's like a subconscious, like, oh, you'll be foe when you come. eat a McDonald's. It'll be fast and full. You'll be like me.

Okay, you'll be like me. And you'll get, and you'll, and you'll, and you'll, and you'll, and you'll, and you'll, and you'll, and you'll be winking like me if you squirt mac sauce in your eye. Well, he predates max sauce. His catch him and onion character. Okay. He's like a big boy, like a big boy, like Bob's big boy kind of a thing. And like, he is.

They needed to abandon him, I think, honest to God. Like, I think it makes sense because, this makes you, this makes you, it was like a retro, it was like a retro character. and if they stuck with him, they'd have to put him in, like, a neon t-shirt and a skateboard, and it wouldn't look right. Yeah, yeah, like a hip-hop hat. Right.

Tommy Hilfiger type clothing that doesn't say Tommy Hilfiger. That is what would have happened. Bugs and Taz, the criss-cross-style, backwards clothing. Baggy. They abandoned Speedy like Ray Crocabanded the McDonald brothers. Right, that's right. But I think they needed to.

Founder, too. We go into what happened to Speedy. They needed to leave Speedy on the side of the road in the middle of the forest. Got him a check. Down with Speedy. No, my speed. Because you needed progressive characters like Ronald and the grimmis, evil grimace. Yeah, yeah.

No, he's the past. He's 50s. And I think if you make him the mascot, it becomes like, I think they're still around. Sure. I don't think speedy slows them down. But you're right. I think you end up in more of a big boy. It's like, you know, it's tied to an era.

So I think they were not married to Speedy. I think they were character curious. And what that leads to is in 1963 in Washington, D.C., an ad agency owned by a guy named Oscar Goldstein, who is also a DC McDonald's franchisee. He puts together a campaign to appeal to kids and comes up with the character, full credit and title, Ronald McDonald, the hamburger happy clown, said confidently as if that phrase is something, hamburger happy. I guess you guys might, on Sunday night, you understood being hamburger happy. I was pretty hamburger happy. You were hamburger healthy, too.

Was hamburger healthy? You said you felt better in the 90 days. The healthy as you've been in a while is hamburger healthy. Look, it's been a year with a lot of side effects from medication, dosages, or new pills. And I'm like, huh, it's, McDonald's made me feel better than some of these suggested drugs. Well, take each pill with a Big Mac. Well, wash it down with a Big Mac. See what they do to each other.

I need the, I need the belt. I need the carousel of progress, the exercise vibrating belt. Oh, the thing that shakes you. I think that's a great idea. Eat a big mac and fries in a soda and take a pill and then get shaken up by a rubber belt for half an hour. Right. Yeah. That rubber belt's going away.

Sorry, Jason. No one has talked about that adaptable equipment, the old-timey exercise machine. They'd be great if those came back. A big trend of the 2030s, big rubber belts. Anyway, they, for this role, they hire, and this is pretty common trivia, I think a lot of people know this, but the original Ronald McDonald is Willard Scott, long time weatherman for the Today Show. We are now in Mike's realm because we have to say that Willard Scott was a, not long time, but a decent, did a decent stint as Bozo the Clown. He was a big, he was the Washington, D.C., Bozo the Clown, the Clown, from 59 to 62. So he had a clown experience, and much as we will find later in the McDonald's story,

in which ripping off other things is involved, this guy, Oscar Goldstein says he was a clown. He was a clown. Granted, he was done being a bozo, I guess, so they're not really, I don't think he was poached. Pre-Today show weather report. And I thought he brought a great energy. He paid the way for Roker. Also brings a great in today's show at RG. Yeah, I was seeing that, like, Ronald was clear, like a bozo rip-off, basically.

Like, we're like, oh, bozo's popular. We should have our own clowns. Clowns are all the rage. And then there's also, and I'm trying to find the guy's name because I wrote it down, but I don't know that it's, I was listening to a podcast that also there was another guy that claimed he was the first bozo. Oh, really? Named George, perhaps Vorhees, who's described in this podcast as a Southern California clown. Uh-huh. Wait, you said, do you say first bozo or first Ronald? Excuse me, first Ronald. Okay, okay. Sorry, sorry.

Because we know about the first bozo. We've done episode. We did an episode about Bozo wars. So, of course, this makes sense that there were a lot of people saying I was Bozo. I'm the first Bozo. I'm the most important bozo. I own Bozo today. It makes so much sense that Ronald would be fraught with. This Bozo, this Bozo says he was Ronald with this other Bozo. So there was some Southern California clown that I have, should have, I put the name down and then Googled. And I'm like, there's no record of this Southern California clown. I was hoping, by the way, I was also, I'm like, oh, my God, is it going to be Chaco?

I was so excited that, like, Randy Runyon or whatever. That's the name. I forget it is. Is that the kid's name? That's the kid's name or whatever. But no, it was not that. It was a different clown. So maybe there's a little bit of a dispute of who actually was the first.

I think, Lord Scott's got the one I saw the most listed. I mean, lore has definitely given the prize to what it's got. I was going to say it's not the first. time the phrase Southern California clown has been said on this show. It won't be the last. It won't be the last. Really? You're sure?

There's like there was quite a few of them. We can wrap this one up, I think. There's a lot of. Southern California clowns. A lot of clowns on Instagram. Yeah. Oh, sure. Not for me.

There's a lot of, I'm shutting my phone off before I start seeing clowns in my feed. I saw a pair of twins that were clowns. There's like girl clowns. No, no, no. There's like a real algorithm I don't want to see that. the other day in the Discover page on Instagram. There's a real like only fans, dirty clown lady.

There's a lot of them. Oh, there's a lot of them. Oh, how many are you subscribed to? I don't, well, I'm a married man. I don't subscribe to this. Oh, you're not allowed. I'm not allowed. She checks your credit card listings.

Darling, darling, may I subscribe to this dirty clown lady? Put her on the credit card with good cash back. And she's like, well, first saying, I'm cancel. I'm getting rocket money going and canceling. these clown girls. This phrase is really generic here. Like, what is this like, like, GDC billing? Is this a cover-up for, are you paying for sexy clowns again?

No, no, it's, um, socks. It's a brokerage. They run through some outside firm. This is, this is Ross. It's Ross dressed for less. You got nothing to worry about. I'm not even kidding. I shut my fucking phone off.

That is, but the longer, I think that's all it takes. You guys already, I swear to God. And here, we'll keep this. I'll keep you updated in McMount. If in two weeks I start seeing clowns sexy or otherwise in my feed because of you guys... You're yelling... Yeah, you're yelling about it right now. But I'm not what it's off now.

I turned it off before the yelling began. You're saying so the microphone didn't pick up and then you start getting suggested. The phone never, by the way, the phone never turns off. So it's really pointless, I think. These phones don't turn off for the reason so they can constantly collect data. I'm going to pour my grapefruit sparkling water on over it then. That's the only way. Even when the phone is off the time.

it too. Also listeners, if you start seeing more clowns because of this, take it up with my You might, yeah. I try to, my main role in the show is protecting you from scary clowns. The Harley Quinn effect, I think, is probably this like, there's like a 20 to 30 year curve of sexuality where it probably has made so many people attracted to clown women. Sexy clown women. Uh-huh. And you're saying, but not you two is what you're saying. No, I haven't subscribed.

I've just seen this on the Discover page. Okay. And I go, what is this? Oh, okay. And I clicked and I go, oh, it's a porno thing. This is a porno clown. It's a porno clown. And Jason apparently knows all of a number of them.

This is ginger, the sexy porno clown. I've only seen one porno clown. He's seen at least 10, I think. And he's not denied it. And it's only going to go up from here. They give you one on your Explorer page, and if you watch it for too long, you'll start saying all of them. Oh, yeah.

Well, they will, yeah. That'll happen. So anyway. I want to see a cute dog, and it's like, okay, is the owner going to turn it out to be a sexy clown or, like, aggressively Christian? A lot of sexy clown dog owners. Oh, it's going to be a lot of Instagram story dots on a Sunday. And you're like, I just wanted to see the dog.

I didn't want to see the pastor. This is the Lord's Day. I need to see the dog. I need to see the dog. I want to see these pastors and Henley's shirt. Not for me. Not in this, not in the house of the Lord. Isn't it?

I was, my opening joke, I meant what I said, that I, this is, a lot has been made of me being creeped out by various clowns. we have talked about. I am not creeped out by Ronald McDonald. I think that's really saying something. I wonder if anyone else is. If anybody just like default clown, any clown freaks me out,

I don't want to see a clown on my TV. I think given the colors, I think the colors do a lot of the pevile. I just, I like the yellow. I like the uniform. He's not, I like the hair.

Yes, it's exaggerated clown smile, but not to a degree that scares me. I think he's very, he's very professional. I feel the money in him. And when I see these, amateur clowns. That's where the fear starts to trickle in.

I think you would probably have liked our last WGN Bozo, who was very similar to Ronald. I wasn't scared by Bozo. I'm not interested in Bozo, but I was not scared of those. Yeah, but like the Bob Bell Bozo, yeah, talk like this or whatever. I mean, I think you can appreciate the comedy of it. But the Joey Dioria, I believe, was last thing, version of Bozo was very much Ronald like. It just felt like those were the clowns of their time, 980s, 90s, like, friendly clown. Sure, sure. Yeah.

Philadelphia, Bozo by the 80s, was pretty polished. Polished, friendly? Like, an approachable. Yeah, it was friendly. The outfit looked good. Yeah. The intro at some point was, like, him going around by, like, there's the art museum with the rocky steps.

There's the love sculpture. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, he, that was a theme song. Because I think, I think clowns, maybe what we're saying here is. Clowns, maybe in the 80s and 90s, and maybe this is wrong because I forget when it came out. I would forget when that was released. Mini-series 90s. Did clowns get friendlier in the 80s and 90s?

Was there a curve there where like more clowns were like, clowns were almost accidentally creepy when they were first introduced when they, like in the 50, 60s? They're all creepy, I think. Yeah. In some ways, but they were designed for children, a lot of them. Yeah, yeah. But then in the 80s and 90s, they actually became like friendly. Right, right. I don't know.

I don't know. You know what I think does a lot of heavy lifting for me with Ronald also is that he, I just realized that he doesn't, he's not only that grizzled, hey, and he's also not like, who, who, I like that he's, I just, I just, especially the Ronald we grew up with was just like, just regular, clear voice guy. It's me, Ronald. Yeah. Like, it's, uh, I think there's, he's not clown.

It's, it's not a clown accent. There's, yes, I agree with that. I don't mean to start. It's stereotyping and say offensive things. We don't want to go down that avenue more. He's like, he's a clown, but he's not clown-like. Do you know what I'm saying? I've been canceled by a bunch of clowns.

Yeah. The early, there's some creepy Ronald performances in the early commercials. Yes. Well, here's one that I have. This leads me right in. I was, because I was feeling proud of myself for realizing that this is a clown that I am not creeped out by. And I'm not super creeped out by Willard Scott, Ronald. But.

But he's definitely jankier. And it's a local ad in 1963. So, of course. But there's a couple things different about this, Ronald. He won, at least at very first, he had a cup on his nose. Yes, that was, that's a weird outfit. Yes, extremely. The tray hat, too.

The tray hat. You like that one. He has a box of food on his head. I don't, I don't mind it. I could see why it got whittled off. Like, the, this is the sharp edges that got sounded off for, for Ronald to go national. but I like it as a choice at the time. It makes sense.

It's all this stuff. You get at McDonald's, and he's the personification of McDonald's. Yeah, yeah. He's a living McDonald's. Oh, I just, wait, I just remembered what. Oh, no, this isn't the, okay, okay, sorry. This, this ad is, this is just one where I was like,

oh, maybe Willard Ronald is a little bit scary. Hey, kids, it's me, Ronald McDonald's. Did I fool you? These great new Ronald McDonald's Donald Donald Donald. Well, sure look a lot like me, don't they? And they're just as much fun, too. You can squeeze them, you can tickle them, you can take them any place, and they go right on smiling. So why don't you get yours at any Washington, Annapolis, Area McDonald's restaurant for just a dollar plus tax with any purchase?

It really does look like me, doesn't it? A living doll. I mean, it's terrifying. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And I don't care for that phrase living doll either. Oh, no. I don't think they were using, at that time, Living Doll.

didn't mean that, but... That's what I call all the figures I get. Oh, no. My living doll. Scott, they're not dolls. They're living dolls. Are they, they're not all, like, possessed, like Robert the doll, right? No, I've tried.

He's working. I've tried, but it hasn't worked. He's trying to bring him. Doing that Grant Morrison Chaos Magic. I've been doing, I've been jerking off trying to get the chaos magic to work. That's how you activate it. That's not a joke. You have to make a sigil out of words.

to make a sigil and then you have to have some sort of extreme. Like a chaos magic, Scott. It's like, you conduct magic. You can change the sort of change the world by creating a sigil. Well, it has to be some sort of extreme, like emotional reaction and that's the easiest way to do it. You could do like bungee jump and stare at the sigil. You could do something that really scares. Do you have to get your heart rate up?

Kind of, yeah. Some energy. Some energy. I mean, you could probably do a bunch of different ways. Okay. But the simplest ways to jerk off. This is real, by the way. This is a real thing people do.

Okay. So we're not making this up. All right, right. But Jason brought it up and we had to explain it. And now here you are and you jerk off in front of your living dolls to make them. This is what we understand. This is our favorite comic book writer, by the way. We understand who we've now watched YouTube videos of them talking about us.

Now I get it. I knew there was something weird in there. It's Grant Morrison. Watching your jerk off comics. We like Grant Morrison's Batman. Therefore, we now know about the jerk off magic. We deep dive. And that's where we end up.

That ad was only, you know, that was him showing kind of a, part of what made that creepy is that it was Ronald next to a Ronald doll that you could get. Yes. And that was creepy and it made him more creepy and it just fed off each other. There's another one that I found that where it's, it's coming more from the scenario and I don't have a clip. But it's, it's a, it's Ronald approaching a kid on the street. And he says, my mom told me not to talk to. strangers. Yes. And Ronald says, you see this one too? And then he says, well,

you're Bob's right as always. But, but I'm not a stranger. I'm Ronald McDonald. And he goes, oh, okay, I guess that's right. And then he reasons that he's not supposed to accept gifts from strangers either. And then again, he says, but let's make an exception here. And then he hands him burgers. So it's an ad in which twice and several levels Ronald says in 30 seconds twice He says don't listen to your mom when it comes to strangers Yeah, yeah

Or just make Or actually they try to have it both ways They go, no, she's right She's totally right, always right Reversed right, but he introduces himself Yeah To say we're not strangers anymore Do you remember five seconds ago when I said my name?

Thus, we aren't strangers He does all the things I think they warn kids Like predators are gonna try to trick Yeah, he does. He does all the real tricks. He knows all the tricks, the trick of child. Tricks, exceptions, presence, and being dressed like a scary clown.

He does every one of the things. It's creepy. I mean, it's not quite as creepy as this thing I found, but I looked into all the comics and things you could find. Oh, okay. Over the years. And there's a, here's one called Ronald McDonald's Adventures in Scouting. No, no, no, no. Don't like that job for him.

No. Where Ronald flies on a flying hamburger into a scout camp. Don't make me not like the flying hamburger I love that part But I don't like his destination Too weird But he's definitely I mean he does

He's weird in there But he doesn't like do anything illegal But it is it is strange Some of the food And he looks I should have blown that up He looks Ronald looks creepy as hell Yeah

He's got these weird like cross-eye Jason would have gotten on the hamburger with it He would have blown away with him You would have abandoned your troop Yeah sure It's the long. You can have my knife. Here you go.

Couldn't cut for shit anyway. I don't need those merit badges. A knife was too hard to open and closing it and then you had to do the thing. That's, I still, I showed that to Jane of like, oh, this is what they teach with a scouts. You go to hand someone a pocket knife and you don't release your grip until they say thank you. That's the key word of like for safety. Now it's a closed up pocket knife, you know. Fair, yeah.

Ronald McDonald's scouts up some fun. And then there's like a bunch of short stories. Ronald McDonald in the Cub Scouts, Ronald McDonald in the Brownies, Ronald McDonald's in the Boy Scouts, Ronald McDonald's in the Girl Scouts. All the levels. All the varieties. Ronald McDonald's does a good turn. And then the last thing is they're all saluting the flag. Ronald had a bunch of scouts all saluting the flag outside of McDonald's lawn.

Oh my God. Whoa. Two fingers salute for Cub Scouts. Three for Boy Scouts. Four for McDonald's. for respect Yeah Also the amount of fingers

That Trump uses To salute any McDonald's Yeah Half-masked McDonald's flag He'll salute a flag if he has to If it's above a McDonald's Any choice quotes in there Is it just kind of general vibe

Yeah I mean it's just There's nothing A whole Let's see here Oh dear What will we do now Cindy and I Could entertain you with

puppet show, says Ronald. Well, that would be nice, Ronald, if you wouldn't mind. But I don't know how to work puppets. And then that's the end of the story. We were one tick away from an extremely creepy phrase. Yeah. It's, uh, there's, he meets the Den mother in one of these. Hi, I'm Ronald McDonald.

You can trust me. She goes, if I, as if I didn't know, I'm Mrs. Danforth. I'm Denmother for these Cub Scouts. And then he's just sort of in the background while they do stuff, not saying. anything. He's just like his mouth like wide open and it looks like he's standing behind the mom. It looks like he died standing up with his eyes open

and he's behind the mom. Well, Mrs. The one Mrs. Stanforth was cool but then the other Mrs. Stanforth was a busy body with a bad temper and she would raise her voice in the drop of the hat. So then

Ronald does, okay, there's one where Ronald's on the hamburger and he's looking through like a Paris go or not a periscope, just a telescope. And he goes, wonder what those kids are up to. And then some kids go, come on, we can get through the broken window. And Ronald goes, now I see, they're up to no good.

And then one of the kids goes, hey, look, it's Ronald McDonald's. Let's scram. And then Ronald goes, wait, you don't have to be afraid of me. And then they go, you won't tell on us? And one of the kids goes, we didn't mean any harm, Ronald. And then the other kid goes, yeah, we just got bored doing nothing. And we wanted to explore this old house.

And then he goes, well, I'm looking for something to do too. Kids, let's all go into this old house. Let's go looking together. That's another thing creditors do. Like, hey, you don't need to be scared of me. I'm your friend. So they all get on the flying hamburger, and then they just clean up a bunch of trash.

And then that's basically the end of it. Well, I'm putting flying hamburger right next to windowless van. But he's really, yeah. He's scary. Scram, if you see one of those. We'll get to the wind. Base basket guys on the second window. Thank you for reminding me.

I think I forgot about it. At this rate, we're not getting out of Ronald. No, I don't think. I know. I think we could. We could try. I don't have a lot more about Ronald. Does everyone else have a lot more about Ronald?

Well, I looked at some more comics and stuff. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Well, hold on. Let me find. Ronald-based media. There's a lot of Ronald comics that are not online. Okay.

I found that someone, and I found this too late in the process to get it, but there's a very limited run Ronald comic strip collection that was put out. I think there was like a literally like a newspaper comic strip put out. Did everyone encounter the fake phrase Mick Treasure Island? Because I only learned about that this morning. Do you mean the video? Yeah, the this was not one of the classical chupo giveaway. This was like more of a kind of Deak era of anime, like like a late 80s, early 90s video where they go.

on a Treasure Island adventure. Yeah, which is on YouTube. It is not feature late. It's barely sitcom late. Probably for the best. Yeah. There's the company Charlton Comics published in the 70s, a short run of Ronald McDonald. And these are not, I can't find these scans.

Some people on YouTube have been going through them, and it's hard to see exactly when they're doing this. But Ronald is there. It's kind of a cute cartoon design, and he's doing a, like fencing with a swordfish under water. And I was like, this does, like some of this art looks familiar. Not that it's so familiar. But then I was, I did find one scan of one of them. And all of a sudden there's a character named Professor Fumble in there.

P-H-U-M-B-L-E. Now there's a professor who will meet. There's a different professor. So then, and I hate, I'm going to say some of the words Scott really doesn't like to hear on this show. But I have to because I just, apparently then, there's a guy named Bill Yates who they, who, was doing these Ronald McDonald comics, who was an editor at King Features Syndicates. And his, we must. We must.

His, uh, uh, I claim to fame was always taking over books when like someone would die. So he would, or not books, he would take over a strip. When the writer would die? Yeah, or just like stop doing it. Okay. And of course, these are classic strips like Red Eye, the Small Society or Little Iodine. Free classic. Little iodine.

through little iodine? Of course, little iodine. I read the strips to all my scout friends. They were more of a little neosporant house. Sure. But the only character that this guy, Bill Yates, on record, ever created, was this guy, Professor Fumble,

and then he shoved him into the Ronald McDonald comics. No. So he put his own guy. Well, I kind of think it's interesting, because maybe, like, technically now Professor Fumble is, I don't know that he interacts with Ronald, but he's in one of the Ronald comics. She counts.

So Bill Yates, to me, is at least associated his character, Professor Fumble, P-H-U-M-B-L-E with Ronald. I don't like this. I don't like it, unfortunately. I don't know. You're like glomming on to a star. The world was not into Professor Fumble. Oh, so little iodine. I forgot.

It's just Lil Lulu with a different color hair. What are you talking about? Little iodine was not a whole. groundbreakingly original character. Where would I put little eye at, all right, definitely behind Liz Lemon, but maybe above Mickey Mouse. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I don't know that any of these comic strips were really great, but this guy, Bill Yates, did these first run of Ronald Comics. Now, later, Ronald Comics, I can find covers, but no one has scanned these. No one cares.

There's like this McDonald's comic starring Ronald. It's got the captain, it's got Captain Crook, and it's got, you know, hamburger and stuff here. So this is 76, but this is not online.

I don't know what happens in these. You have to buy these to find out. Are you going to buy them? $20, I don't know. How many do you get? In this one, it's only one. But maybe we can find a lot. Maybe we can find a bunch of them at once.

Let's just, let's touch on, I mentioned earlier, the Ronald CD-ROM from 97. I just want to give you guys a taste of this just to show you what it was like and it is just, you know, some of the worst graphics you've ever seen. It's hideous.

Kind of Donkey Kong country, honestly. There's a big foot and a sleeping cap? Big foot at sleep cap. I mean, I don't even really know what's happening in the game but it's like this really surreal nightmare. There's like a McNuggett where you throw... It's kind of a circus. Yeah, you throw balls at a target

on the top of the head of a smiling McNugget. Yeah. Dunk tank. sauce, I presume? I don't know about that. And then, yeah, the animation is just like he dunks in there, but it's not, I don't even see any water. He just falls in a...

No, that's a texture. We don't see sauce all water. So there's that. And I don't know. I mean, there's so many different, like, little things like the McDonald's would put out that probably you would get in like a happy meal toy, or excuse me, a happy meal box. just like

Ronald McDonald Fun Times Dino Finders so like it was just like almost like a highlights magazine I'm getting so many these are websites that pop so many ads up while you're trying to show things

Unfunctional websites Ronald McDonald Fun Times magazine and it's Ronald's head there and this is all stuff that's not very well archived either and it's just as dino finders Ronald and the gang go dino hunting so he's had So many adventures.

That's what's weird. He does that too. Like magic and it's not the main thing you think about. Dino finding, certainly not the main thing you think about. Treasure Island visiting. Also not the main thing you think of. He does it all. Right.

He does it all. From 1983, there's a McDonald's Fun Times magazine that has a ABC season premiere that has all these different characters that it's advertising, including Scooby-Doo and Mr. and Mrs. Pac-Man. Who are the family? And then that's what I'm trying to figure out. Is it the Osbons? It feels like the Osmond's?

Osmans. There's maybe an... Are they cartoons? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that's the... Was there an Osmond's... There was an Osmond's cartoon. There was for sure, but I guess that's probably what it is.

And then that maybe... Is that the School House Rock guy? Like, I don't know, but this is a McDonald's Fun Times 83. Okay. Was there like a revival of it, or is that just a different character that looks like one of those characters? I have no idea the timeline on School of House Rock, I think, pumped out for for the bicentennial, some of it. That was old. I know original school Osrog was older.

It was replayed when we were in, like, school. Like, teachers showed it. Channels would have it. And then, like, there's, like, in here, you see there's a Pac-Man maze, like, an, like, activity book stuff. And then there's Captain O.G. Readmore. Is that a different cartoon from ABC, 1983? Is he a school-ass-rock?

I don't know. Captain O.G. Readmore. Let me look this up. But it's just there's so much. Okay, he is. Yes, he was this character. You guys, I'm sure, have seen this character. This guy?

He's a cat. He's a cat, and he's got like a captain's hat on. And he was like the face of reading, I guess. On ABC? Yeah. I kind of remember him. Oh, man, I did not know this character's name. Yeah, no, he is familiar to me.

So he's not McDonald's either, but he was just, He's an anthropomorphic cat, ABC weekend specials during the 80s is when they used it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was dressed in a nautical outfit, and he encouraged children to read for pleasure. So Jason, he probably encouraged you to read for pleasure. Look at, do you remember that? Look at Instagram clowns for pleasure. I have definitely seen this man before.

Yeah, and voiced by Frank Welker. Wow, wow, the voice of many of the characters. Many of the characters we were talking about. We can talk about it any time, not to give a short, No, we can move. Not to move on from OG Readmore. No, no, we can move. Well, do you want to talk about Birdie?

Yes. Yeah, let's talk about Birdie. Birdie, the early bird, was, as a lot of McDonald's characters were, McDonald's promotions were, there's a new product or product line, and we've got a little creature, we've got a new little friend to get you interested in this line. Sure. And Birdie goes back to, I think it's 1980, when they introduced McDonald's breakfast.

What a time. I mean, we should celebrate that as a holiday. I know. You're saying that in a very heartfelt way. And this, because in 1980, everything changed. It was such a big deal. I mean, you can argue that the breakfast is even better than the lunch and dinner. Easy.

Although. Is that easy, really? I'm kind of surprised by that. I wouldn't be upset by that take. Wow. For the sandwich, those hatch browns have gotten too greasy. You can barely taste the potatoes. You're tasting grease.

If you can swap them for the fries, do it. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can't. Sometimes they haven't dropped a basket, you know. It's another franchise thing. They haven't dropped a basket. You got to drop the basket.

You speak in the lingo. It's 9.45 a.m. You dropped the basket yet? You dropped the basket yet? I want to. I went french fries. Can you do a drop? Can you do a fresh drop for me?

I'll get back there. I'll get back there and drop before you if you want. I'll get back there. I just went French fries with my English muffin and dirty Dr. Pepper. Jason, have you ever burned yourself with hot grease working in a kitchen? I avoid it at all costs. Okay. I couldn't remember if that was one of your kitchen accidents.

I don't, because a lot of trying to think. I grew up learning to cook with butter, like tabs of, like cut a piece of butter throat at a hot pizza. As opposed to oils. Now, when I got older and started using olive oil more, I think when olive oil with more pot low, it's healthier than butter. But it's like it's got a different heat level that it burns at. Like olive oil often not the best to fry something.

So you haven't burned yourself on either butter or olive oil? If you got it too hot something, that olive oil is popping off the skill. Well, that's, and that's why it's difficult. You're right in the eye. if you put too much on it. That's exactly why you need to go to McDonald's as often as possible so you don't end up in the situation.

Exactly. Let the professionals do it for you. Yes, yeah, yeah. They drop the baskets. I know there's techniques to make good oven fries, but I'm going to let the professionals do it. The professional oven operators. Yeah. Now, here's a, I don't know if Birdie, I think Birdie, the early bird,

is shining a light on breakfast, but was not necessarily correlated to the introduction of, because breakfast existed. I mean, maybe it might have been a specific item that Bertie was hawking. Was it the nationwide push for breakfast as like a full menu? Maybe. Yeah. Like it was there, but we need to like strengthen it and make kids want it.

Rousie Taylor, as we mentioned, who is Minnie, who's Huey Doey and Louie, Muppet Babies, Gonzo, Martin on the Simpsons. Great voice actors. I, the earnestness of Bertie, I was really, in trying to pick like an era, what's my era, I think it is. not introduction to Bertie, but like, mid to late 80s, where there is, like, I think she kind of sums up, like, very sincere McDonaldland ads.

I think it's, I think, like, you know, where we're, like, telling these sweet little stories. There's one, I don't have to play it,

but, like, it's just funny how some of the early, the 70s ones are like a little upsetting at times, right? Oh, yeah. The voices are more, like, jarring and weird characters look scarier and then it's like it does start to feel very like disney or like everything feels like american tale or something by the time you get to little at like there's there's a christmas one that is huge in my head where she catches a falling star yeah and gives

it to ronald but then ronald knows that you can't keep a falling star you gotta put it back up in the sky and i swear i'm like welling up as i you talk about this ad it's some stupid mcdonald's But it was like so glowy and magical in my memory and any of the ads that have like a like an ice skating rink or like true. I know they're just hawking products. But truly I bought it. They're like as magical to me as the little mermaid or whatever. And Bertie is like not that there's anything so specific and astounding about Bertie, but I think she just, I think everything, all the other characters got more earnest and less like, ah, we're like nobody's like that. Everyone matches Bertie's energy by 1985.

Birdie is pure of heart. Yeah. Okay. Grimmis, uh, hamburger, Captain Crook, they have thievery in their past. Now we don't know the material conditions that drove them to that behavior. But Bertie never had any of that. And she, I always, she is probably one of the reasons as a kid. I was like, oh, a pilot.

She's got the goggles and the hat and the scar. Oh, yes. Amelia Earhart stuff. Yes. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Not Amelia Earhart, not Charles Lindbergh, Bertie the Earlyberg. Yeah, yeah.

Yes. Your ultimate avatrix. Do you consider the Do You Believe in Magic commercial part of this? That's my era is do you believe in magic? Yes. And yeah, I was thinking how, I don't know that that's like, you know, it probably doesn't, it's not a McDonald's specific song. That's a licensed song, which I think was rare and the revamped love

Spoonful song, but yes, and we hope you do, you've always got a friend wearing big red shoes, that's completely when McDonald's ads were the most magical to me. And then my dad would get to stand over my shoulder and go, that's a song for Maita, you know that one? That's John Sebastian did that one. I think he was really proud, like, oh, look, they're one of these crappy kid things. That's something I like. I am sure my mom also told me who wrote that song on what band did that song. Now there is an album Ronald makes magic that contains, a full version of a do you believe in magic.

When is this from? This is from 94. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And then there's the, of course, you know, do the song, do the hop. Oh, it's do the hop in parentheses, at the hop. Oh, okay, that's at the hop. So they've taken the song.

Yeah, I think so. Okay. Fun, fun, fun. They also do. Great, great. Essential. So. It's about hamburger stands. It was waiting for them.

It's not a Mcruff. level album, but, you know. Doesn't sound like, is there any even personality, or is it just kind of them doing the song? They do the House of the Rising Sun? Why does everyone cover that? Helter-Skelter. Hold on, I was going to play it.

Okay. This is Ronald McDonald, and you're listening to McDonald's Metro Radio. It's time for a big surprise. Yeah, it's mini. Just many. You bought me a pony? Oh, you shouldn't have.

That's okay, Grimmis. We didn't. The surprise is for you, Ronald. For me? You bought him a pony? No, we wrote him a song. Okay, play the beat, Cody.

Too many kids. Kids are the death of the gruff, too. Drums, like these? Yeah, thanks, Ronald. Tom made up a bass part too. Boom, bum, bottom. Wish I could hit those low notes. Would an electric bass help?

All right. He's magic. If he wasn't there. I'm kind of like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not bad. Wow, hip hop.

There's far too many children on this. There's too many children. You know, I'll go through it. I'll do a better deep dive off. Well, bring one in a, yeah, if you find one that's, there's a jam there. It's character forward. I'm sorry, kids, but you're not holding your weight. Yeah.

I don't have much more to say about Bertie, and we got big ones to talk about. Sure. I mean, which direction do we go? Do we do the hamburger and end on grimace? I think that might be the move. I guess so, yeah. Okay. Even though I'm a hamburger guy.

So we might, well, then maybe we just end up fully. No, we got to do hamburger now. It's possible that grimace just ends up. So, well, let's just see where we get. Anything's possible. But yeah, Hamburger was always my guy. Which era like this 90s? I never saw the creepy hamburger.

Yeah. I'm talking about 90s hamburger. Did you like to 2010 sexual hamburger? Look, I've heard about it. You and I, am sure, discussed it when we didn't have a podcast. We were interested in Hansen. I might have posted about sexy hamburger at the time. I think I probably did.

I'm not as big of a fan of that I don't mind him being sexy but I like the 80s 90s hamburger a lot more it felt like I mean he was stealing cheese burgers you like the puppet and the suit more than a guy and a mask believe it or not

that was a purposefully ironic hamburger online campaign yeah but it felt there was always a lot I mean this was the era maybe it's not maybe it's a bigger era than I'm thinking but like will the tricks razz

it get his cereal. There was a lot of like stuff like that. Lucky charms guy too. It's like. Was the bird, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's cereal had the bird and was the bird doing something bad? Cocoa Chris. Yeah.

Yeah. Was he stealing or not stealing? I don't remember. I don't remember either. It was the story engine of those. I don't recall. Cookie crisp, you're thinking of maybe? Well, no.

I think that I would try to, the, wouldn't the dog try to eat the cereal in cookie Chris? Yeah. I could be wrong. Cookie Chris. Who was a bird? Two can and Sam was helpful. He was just.

He could eat his own cereal whenever he wanted. It didn't matter. Nobody was keeping it from him. But yeah, you're right. But, yeah, you're right. It had to suffer. Sugar smacks could have the cereal. I think so, yeah.

Yeah. And then on the Bozo show, they would never let Cookie lead the Grand March. And they only let him do it when he got very sick and came back and they let him do it. And that I was happy about that was too little too late as far as I was concerned. Yeah. Yeah. So I think maybe there was something satisfying about a character I liked just getting the, thing, the food item he wanted.

Yeah. Yeah. And even if he was stealing, although maybe they would still take it away from him in some commercials. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe I bought into all of the chase. I liked the chase of all that stuff. So I liked him attempting to get a hamburger or cheeseburger every, every commercial. I think you're right that that format of commercial is very satisfying. I like when a bad character is still in the gang. Yeah. They don't do anything bad enough to be expelled from the gang. Like Pete and Mickey kind of. Yeah.

Pete's sort of just in the gang often. Yeah, yeah. Even though he like picks up many. Depending on the, depending on the show, yeah. He's in the goofy movie. Yeah, he was next to our neighbor. Yeah.

Of course. Of course, yeah. It's the father of Max's best friend. Yes, PJ. I don't know why it seems like an argument. I don't know. He's the one who brought that energy. Of course.

That's friend. I was just vigorously agreeing with you, brother. All right. He was angry. I really agree with me. But it is. That's fine. I meant to be very happy.

No, I like, I like that he's just, he's in it no matter what. Yeah. This is outlined in the, in the little guide to, Ronald treats Hamburgergerger as a friend. That still feels like not a friend, treats him as. Yeah, yeah, that's a little qualified. It's not the same as friend. But yeah, but the dynamic is described. Like, however, everyone tolerates him because they know he can't control his love of

McDonald's hamburgers and I'd never thought about that aspect before. He's an addict. Yeah. And they're giving him that grace that we understand why you need to keep stealing these. It is not your fault. Yeah. It's not your fault. Right.

It's a very progressive way to think about it. That statement actually for something in the 90s is shockingly. Yeah. And hopefully we can get from tolerance to acceptance. For the hamburger. Yeah. Specifically. It's interesting because I almost don't think, when I think of the hamburger,

in the abstract, I don't actually, I don't know how to even describe this. I don't think of him as like a chubby-faced little boy, which is kind of what he is. With a single tooth. I mean, look at him.

I guess. He's like kind of got a very, very round cartoon little boy face with a single tooth, almost like he's lost all his teeth. He was kind of like just the two teeth also in original scary era too. Yeah, that's true.

guide where he had like a almost like a plaster fit you know what he looked like he looked like this is way before but he looks like the masks in Eyes Wide Shut. Oh he don't I was going to say syndrome from the Incredibles but oh yeah yeah sure a little bit but I just said that the variety like

the hulking nose over taking the face giant nostrils and then it and then it all just getting sucked down to two little teeth and just end up kind of like a plague doctor mask. Yeah yeah yeah all right that's right yeah like shows up of an Amadeus.

Yeah, absolutely, yeah. But I think the outfit, maybe what I really like about him is the outfit versus the actual, like, human boy that's underneath. I never interpreted him to be a boy. I never thought about this. He's just so large. They're all large. But he's short, though. He's very boyish.

And the red head, obviously an adult can have red hair, but that kind of, like, adds to the Danny Bonaducci. He looks like Danny Bonaducci. He looks like Danny Bonaducci. Like a lot of like Danny Bonaducci. Imagine he's not in the hamburger outfit. He's wearing just like jeans and a t-shirt. Yeah. He's a very boyish adult if he is an adult.

Yes. He's real, yes. He's big red cheeks too. Those white and black stripes make it seem like he's done hard time. That's what I'm saying, I'm realizing now as I'm looking at these photos of him that I think I was really like into the outfit of it and what he was doing. And I didn't even see the little red-haired boy behind. behind the outfit. I thought all the McDonald's

characters were ageless. Sure, and I did too. I'm just telling you right now as I look at him, you take away the outfit, doesn't he look like a big boy? It's a little cabbage patch doll. He looks like a big cabbage patch doll. First thought would be big,

would be big boy, I think, yes, without the mask. Jason, you brought up something the hard time, and I think that prompts a question that I have, is he in black and white due to crimes he has committed or is it an aspirational uniform? Is it a way

for him to convey I am a criminal in the way that you posture to show that like, no, I'm tough even though even if you haven't done something bad yet? Well, that's very childlike in adolescence, especially adolescent boys.

I'm the toughest. I think so. Yeah, that's what I wonder. He's wearing a prison outfit from the 1950s to project. The shorthand of that I I'm a tough guy, tough criminal. Yeah, yes. Maybe, but he's always got like a cape.

He's also kind of like wearing like a Snidly Whiplash outfit. The cape and the hat were very appealing and the domino mask. He's wearing a domino mask, a cape and a hat, which is like Zorro. He's dressed like Zorro and a 1930s prisoner in a black and white jumpsuit. Yes. So he's got two things going on and a tie. He's wearing a tie. Wow.

So it's an interesting, like, it's like a mashup of outfits, really. and I think all of that combines to cover up the fact that he's like like nine years old or something. Little sneakers also, I guess for sneaking. Right. But they look very like Ashkosh-Bakash, like little kid. And it's like a jump. They're almost like PJs. He looks cool.

I guess I think I agree with you. I think the hamburger is a child. He's a child. I'm realizing it now. And I'm realizing that he would not have been my favorite if it was just this character without this outfit on. Yeah, the outfit's doing it. I'm seeing through it and just picturing a little redhead kid. Right.

But also do the same thing with Ronald. Just picture a man. That's true. That's trippy, isn't it? Do you still like him? Maybe I like him. Yeah, because he still probably has the same kind of like manner about him. He's still kind of the same nice guy.

So it's very like there would be a different vibe. It would be a slight vibe shift at the very least. but I just think Hamburgerer out of this outfit he's at my bottom he's at the bottom of my McDonald's characters Wait six explain that again If he's out of the outfit

He's at the bottom of the list for me But in outfit top But in the outfit he's at the top Great and how do you can compare to Liz Lemon I know it's not main characters He's uh well look Liz I liked uh with my 20s so Hamburgerger was younger

So I have to give it to Hamburgers In the outfit You know we both had auditions for four seasons season three you can't put us in this spot sorry to rub it in um and you both auditioned to be sexy hamburger i know i know i know i'm sorry i didn't get it uh yeah this has been a touchy episode all around i know um let's talk about robble roble yes why why does he do this is this now that you've proposed the child thing now i'm wondering is it is is he like a toddler even he might be single tooth yeah that's that's that's that's that's

very little. It's why I got at home. It's kind of gibberish, but it's kind of the word Rob. I always thought he was saying. Oh, it's because Robb? That's what I always saw. I never thought of it.

But I said Robble-Robble to my wife and just got a blank stare. What was the context? You don't remember where I think I was explaining I was talking about McDonald's there. You didn't just say the hamburger instead of hello in the morning. You snatched a cheeseburger out of her hand

and you said, Robble-Robble. As soon as her eyes open The alarm goes off Her eyes open And I'm right there Going to robble, rovel Ravel, roble,

Robble, dear There's, from the Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald's Series, I think they say Hambuggler is 15 But that's a late, late retcon

Yeah Of how old he is. But I did Google And it says The hamburger is not a toddler. Okay, all right. But still he might be Honestly,

That's a late retcon to try to justify why he looks the way he does. The earlier iterations, Captain Crook, the sea captain would translate the Hamburgler's gibberish. Oh, he's saying, I don't know. Is he his father? I don't know. Maybe they're both in the thieves guilt.

The sandwich-based thieves guilt. They just haven't understand it. Hambler is like an Oliver Twist-style thief, like a child thief. Yeah. That's what I'm getting now. And that's what I'm realizing here. He wants to be like old Bill Sykes, you know, if you pick a Puckador to.

Right. There has to be an older, like, Artful Dodger type that will teach Hamburgler. Well, there's different levels similar probably to the McDonald's Land. There's Artful Dodger. There's Bill Sykes. There's Fagan. Sure, sure, sure. There's many different hamburger thieves.

There are many thieves in McDonald's land. And that's back in the 70s, and I think, well, probably talk about the 70s more on this, behind the second window. But it's, it's, yeah, it's much more crime and punishment and people doing things wrong. And I can tell why there was a revamp there to make things like friendly, fun adventures instead of catching criminals. Because Grimmis was also a criminal, as we'll get in. Right. I thought he was saying Ronald Ronald as a kid.

Wow. I never, I didn't know he was saying that. I thought he was like saying Ronald Ronald or whatever. Now look at this picture. He's so short compared to Ronald. He's a boy. I don't know. I was short too.

I thought it's just a shorter man. I guess if Ronald was very, I guess you and I would look like this in a photo. Oh, God damn. I guess we're being stacking. Well, let's get that art coming, folks.

Wow. How did the tickets the salon? He's also in the background a little bit, though. He's not quite. He's kind of on a. He's in the back a little. It's on a visible album. It's a forced perspective thing.

Wow. That's very funny. I'm going to play a commercial. See where this places him in the age, the discussion. This is, I'm trying to shout out voice actors when I can. Charlie Adler, in some cases, did the voice of it. He definitely did it in the Claskey Chupo videos because he was a voice of Areal Monsters and a lot of those.

He was Buster Bunny on Tiny Tunes. He was the big heads on Rocco's Modern Life. And you can, so you'll hear those voices, I think, when I play this. But you'll also hear just a lot of, I don't know, this is not my favorite iteration of the hamburger. Ronald McDonald's and friends in the hamburger touch. Robble cheeseburgers. That hamburger wishes everything he touches would turn to McDonald's cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers?

It's a child. Cheeseburger. He's touching flowers and they're turning into cheeseburgers. He's learning the King, my name. paradox. Yes, will there be a sad ending as well? He's imagining if grimace was a big, was not even big, if just a regular cheeseburger had grimace legs.

This is, I find to be a kind of disturbing tableau. I don't think I need to play more of this, but I just, I'm just not big into the, Tad, Tad. No, I don't love that. I'm not, like, this is what I'm saying. I just was so, like, enamored with his look. I was, and, and what he was doing. that I was overlooking his voice and the human behind the mask.

So I agree with you. It's not my favorite thing. It's not so pleasant. So, yeah, I don't know. Are he's his stock sinking as you talk about him? You started it. He's my guy and now we're finding flaws. He looks awesome, though.

I think he still looks awesome. And that's a costume. It's always going to be a hit. Whereas if you're a hamburger, it's something. That's huge. Yes. He at some, in some cases, in the 70s, perhaps 80s as well,

voiced by Larry Storch from F. Troop. Of course. Sometimes voiced by Howie or Howard Morris. He's a pretty towering figure as far as like worked with a lot of the greats. He was on Ernest T. Bass on the Andy Griffith show. He was on your show of shows, voices on a lot of stuff, Flintstones Jetsons.

Voice of Beatle Bailey on a Beatle Bailey cartoon that he wrote in the 60s. I've missed that. 100%. Gofer on Winnie the Pooh, I think we were just saying as an underrated Winnie the Pooh character. I forget when and why.

But here's what's crazy is that he was also the voice, he was also the director of a ton of these ads in the 70s era. I think he may have directed the ad that you just referred to, Jason. There was something where Captain Crook was translating him for,

and there's a video you can watch that is the making of one these old McDonald's commercials. He's interviewed on the set, and then you see that very scene be discussed. You watch this guy, Howard Morris, the voice of the hamburger as well, sucking down the time, going like, we got to do that fast because we're fitting it in 30, and it's like genuinely an interesting process to watch this guy at work. What I'm going to play is this guy very thoughtfully talking about what he thought

the ads were conveying, what he thought was successful about them, and then it will cut to him directing, preparing for a take. So just be aware. That's what happens in the cut. I have any product in that. What we were selling there was the hygienic appeal of McDonald's, and that marvelous song, you deserve a break today, coupled with the individual personalities and talents of these particular guys.

It's kind of like professorial, and we weren't trying to set up, please. And we weren't trying to sell. It was many people with many talents and the wonderful slogan. And it cuts to him working. All right, everyone, rolling. So shut up, please. We have to, the hair burglar is going to get caught by Ronald. He's going to be punished for his crack.

Captain Crook is going to translate. So if you're not Captain Crook and you're not translating, then shut up. Look, we've all been on sets before. Sometimes you just want to say, hey, shut up. We got to get moved. We all want to get home. You got to do Christian Bale. You got to do.

Christian Bale. Oh, I think he was right. He was right. Yeah, that was out of context. Right. Yeah. Out of context. You got unfairly dragged.

It doesn't seem like it hurt his career at all. I don't think so. And he's been terrific in everything he's been insane. Always a mark of quality committed to the characters, committed to the transformations. I don't know that Terminator's Salvation is first on anyone's list at the Bailathon. Oh, a little bit of I don't know that I've ever seen more than a couple minutes of it. We didn't get any razzle dazzle there.

Yeah, too bad. Anyways, but I guess tense sets, but efficient sets. There was much to do. I think maybe the sets were tense because at that time, all of the characters looked very creepy. This was like law and order. We're telling like, it really is it has to fit within a specific time window.

We have to crank them out, and it's about criminals being prosecuted. punished for their crimes. I never thought about that. McDonald's a lot of pre-dated law and order in a way. Yeah.

They didn't give a lot of people chances at redemption. They gave them jobs in McDonald's land of various statures. You can work here, but we're not gonna pay you. Yeah, lots of...

I mean, creepiness was the name of the game. I mean, I don't know how much more I have to say about creepy hamburger, but he absolutely was. He still, the robble... It's almost surprising. that they kept robble and that the only word he really says is cheeseburger, because the robbling in the 70s, I'm sure you saw at some point was much scarier. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He has this weird face in the 70s. Yeah. And it's just, he's very menacing. Just, just bad news. Yes. Lone jogger.

Why was he lone jogger? I think it was just like, oh no, the lone joggers running up and stealing your food. And was he lone jogger? before the name Hamburger was invented? Do we know that was it one of those

weird proto names? I don't think it's stuck very long. Loan jogger. Is it like Dippy Dog? Was that the first version of him? Maybe.

Let me look. Lone jogger Hamburger. The thing with a lot There's so much McDonald's stuff and it isn't, there's a couple

like pretty good website resources for it in the same way that like Chucky Cheese has a couple good places to look but it's still like no one has all of it.

No one has an extensive archive. Well, I mean, like the board games and the comic books and the children, I was like, this is, I didn't remember that. I have not came across this and I've been to a lot of antique stores and knick-knack stores and, you know. Because nobody gives them away. That's why. Oh, they keep them close to that. They're very important.

I think they're buried with a lot of people. And if not that, then it's in their wills to be passed to the relative they were closest to. This one article says that the first hamburger was just an old man in like a white and black suit. And then the next. Like not even, maybe not a cartoon head. Is that the thought? Yeah.

He's got like a weird face here. Because it uncomfortable mix in those days. He's got a weird face. I mean, it's a mask, but he is more human dish. Right. Yeah. And then he was the creepy jogger. They call him a flasher, the lone jogger.

Oh my God. The original character was the only incarnation of. hamburger when he got makeover out of his creepy old man phase. They didn't get it 100% right after the old man. He was still pretty rat looking and wore a white t-shirt over striped clothes. Written on the front was Loan Jogger. Lone Jogger was later? What's that?

So the Lone Jogger was later. I think that's what this is saying, yeah. He showed off his shirt by spreading open his cape like some sort of flasher. Wasn't until 1985. Someone realized they should probably make him a little less disturbing. I don't know. I think that's unfair that you can. I guess if you spread a cape open, it resembles flashing, but it's pretty different if you're wearing a shirt underneath.

It's true. You've removed the main component of flashing. Yeah, certainly not as bad, but it is the act. And especially at the time, I feel like flashing like that was more common. So maybe you were suggesting that you were showing people. If I was more of a trend back then. Right. Yeah, yeah.

Less so these days. It was a trend and you're like, oh, are they going to be naked or are they going to have a bunch of knockoff watches? And you were like, please watch us. I hope watches. No, this better be the real deal. I'm coming back for you. There's got to be only fans trench coat porn, right? Oh, yeah, people just want to see a trench coat get open?

I like that. I wouldn't know what's back there. Big monster hug, scary, the creepy one. Trench coat stuff. Jason, you spent $150 on trench coat stuff this month? Did you at least get a code? T.C. billing. I know what T.

T.C. stands for. No, it's my birthday. where it's firm, I already told you. They do our taxes. They're making us money. Well, to maybe talk about the ultimate redemption story because the hamburger got less creepy, but

he stayed a villain if a villain who's allowed in the fold and who Ronald still gives food to be as who he treats as a friend, quote unquote. Nobody made it further from evil being in the name to evil being out of the name and him being one of the most

lovable characters than Grimmis. Let's talk Grimmis. Look, if Grimmis has to spread into some other episodes, then he does. I don't want to be done talking about Grimmis, but it feels like we can't do Maine McDonald-Land-Game without talking about Grimmis. The evil grimace thing is very funny. Like, I knew about it, but just stopping and thinking about it and see, you know what, evil, evil grimace lives in, like, some of the murkiest, least well-preserved, old, old, McDonald's ads where the coloration is so weird and they look so dark. So it was nice in one of these specification manuals to see just big bright, plain, weird grimace. Lumpy grimace. Lumpy grimace.

Lumpy grimace. Yes, he's very asymmetrical, much like the hamburger's face. He's really splotchy. It's not just kind of the clean Barney-esque purple. Although he beats Barney. I'm not saying he's a rip off of Barney. But he's, yeah, he's so bulgy. And I forgot about the four arms. The four arms, in order to snatch more shakes. This was a thing that always blew my mind. I mean, I don't know exactly how true it is, but I, while, I've always had the phrase in my head, grimace is shakes. The grimace represents milkshakes.

And it's a funny thing because they don't really do purple shakes. Well, in later years, there was a lot of talk that he's a giant taste bud. Now that seems like a retcon. He's a taste bud. He's a giant anthropomorphized taste bud. And is that more that evil grimace was a taste bud? Are they saying that the current streamlined symmetrical one is supposing the current. He's kind of more of like a viral goofball now.

Like he's kind of, I agree, we're talking an upcoming one about how like it's been adopted by the Mets fandom. Yeah, that's really nice. He's kind of in the Mets. I learned the Mets in the stadium have a purple chair to honestly. or grimace. Wow. Wow. Are people not allowed

to sit in the purple chair in case he shows up? I don't know if you can buy the purple chair. I don't know if it's ceremonial if you're allowed near it. You know, Jason, we order the World Cup meals because Jason wanted to get the Grimmis Cup.

Oh, it's a Grimmis cup. But it's blind bags. It's all famous soccer players and grimace. Okay. And it's blind bags, yeah. I was going to get a different meal, but then I said, all right,

I'll give you a second chance and I'll let you have whatever's in my blind bag. And it was too soccer. our players. Two soccer players. Not grimace. It wasn't back on. Oh, you were hoping for grimace and then.

I was shooting. I was doing too. I was getting him open mine and have mine. But no, we just got boring old soccer players, not grimace. Boring old soccer players who were like, oh,

if you go to South America, they're the most famous person on the content. They're no grimace to us. But, but that's not even an affront. You're not saying, fuck you, soccer players. No, I am.

All right. I wanted you to say it and I wanted to push you over the edge. Mike's Lane for the world. Combs. Now it's been said. Mike was, Mike has chosen, like ugly American.

Oh, and like soccer. Yeah, that's right. There's not even one purple guy on this field. There's not. Low scores, no purple guys.

This sucks. The current, it's funny that he was so bulgy and the kind of disturbing four arms. Yeah. Because the shape today could not be. more lovable. This wonderful, he's a big, he's a giant candy corn, but with a more appealing color. He's just, he's just great. Even the switch from, he had much more like, I feel like he had kind of googly eyes within a little like, I think they shook around a little bit. Like the

pupa, he was a little more Muppety in that regard. And he, and I don't, like, this is just, this is a big plus up, uh, uh, I don't know, it, it just, just massive improvement. Yes. I, I, yeah, it's funny thing about how he when they'd steal milkshakes I feel like I was a kid he would be the main one where I would go like oh it's Grimmis he's nice he's my friend yeah you know we had

no idea I mean I feel like I didn't discover that the Grimmis was evil grimace until my 20s yeah I didn't know until late no idea there was never they didn't leave any of the DNA they revamped him thoroughly now one of those ads I was the one with touch touch that had kind of

a weird in-between grimace he used to have kind of like dilated eyes. Yeah. Like he was, he was very glassy. I don't mind him, but I think they like, they got him right.

Birdie was also a little bit janky in the introduction. And the ad that you can find with the early bird. Yeah. She just, she looks like a like a living sock puppet, like a sock puppet that is a suit. They figured out suit technology in like the, like,

early 80s maybe, like Disney and everything. It was just like they didn't know how to make characters look like adorable yet. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe, I think McDonald's might have gotten there first.

Maybe. Yeah. We should do, we should see if we can figure out timelines for that. When did McDonald's? Or when did Disney get less weird? Yeah, like the original Chuckie cheese, he just looks horrifying,

which I love. I think it was just part of it in the way that like 50s clowns are kind of janky, a little bit scary. And like, and Santa's used to be a lot more upsetting. And we all just, we all accepted this.

But then I, it's certainly an improvement that everything got. streamlined and cute. Yes and no. Yes and no. You start a mute misjankiness. Well, because we talked about this when we were talking about

on the Red Robin episode. Oh, yeah. Every mascot seemed, like used to be this shady character that was trying to rip the customers off. Dirty shy stuff. High or cigar chomping, whatever. And then like it was funnier and more interesting.

And now all the mascots have to be that write up of Ronald. Yeah. So there's that. Price. There's that trade off. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We long for a little more interesting. He's, by the way, Ronald is again Christified in the Grimmis description. Here's the two of them, best buds. I don't know that I even, I mean, I guess I could have vocalized this, but seeing it in print was almost disturbing to me. Grimmis looks up to Ronald as the ultimate authority in everything. Grimmis is happiest when he's with Ronald at McDonald's. Wow. Yeah.

Oh, interesting. I know they're friends, but that seems a little too. Adoring. It makes you think, like, if God forbid if Ronald died, it feels like grimace married couple's style would just die right after it. Bury me too. Put me in the casket. Put, no, make me the casket. Put me up in me.

Cut me open like a ton, time. Unlike our packaging, we are buying a great woman. I want to decay with him forever. Let the worms eat us both. Poop us out until we're one being. But if you plant a grimace, it's like that casket that's like a casket or a body bag that like grows mushrooms. Yeah, yeah. Sure.

It's basically the same thing. This, the grimace, I always liked grimace. Don't get me wrong. I always liked grimace. And I think, I don't know at the time if I understood the timeline between Mr. Munch as far as character creation. Oh, that's right. And grimace, because I always associated them together. Is there these two unknown origin species and they're purple fur.

And I always liked Mr. Munch a little better. Wow. Wow. So I think maybe he was losing out back then because I was such a big Munch fan. Well, Mr. Munch loves to rock. Right. Which I love to rock as well. And Grimmis rocks once in a while.

Grimus, it's unclear. He's more like Griffin Newman. He knows a little bit. He doesn't rock all the time like I do. But rocking ziffy, I mean, he knows how, but in such a, like, kind of clinical, on paper way. It's like, you know, prove it in reality. He's, he'll rock, but he doesn't want to necessarily rock with a guns and roses cover band. See, I was going to say, I'm more like grimace because I'm a gentler, softer boy, you know.

But you're like hard rocking young person. You're saying, I'm munch and you're grimace. Yeah, yeah. I'm more of a Mr. Munch. You're edgy like Mr. Munch. Yeah, I'm edgier like Mr. Munch. No. You used to be edgier.

And I'm like, from the old days. He had a munch phase, but he's aged into a grimace. We used to be two Mr. Munches. And now he's aged into a grimace. Oh, yeah.

Who is the size of the hamburger. For tracking it. Yeah. I'm kind of a, I'm like a combo man. An amalgamation of all this. We all have many of these McDonald's. I like to think of myself as 900 of the McDonald's of the McNuggett buddies.

Yeah. People are always like, oh, it's turned into a man shape. You're healthier. You're healthier. Helper, like, chicken. Yeah, yeah, yes. Oh, yeah, way better. I'm like pulling them up to side by side.

I haven't considered this. The Munch and Grimus. And now I feel like it's unfair because we've personified one of you as one, one is the other. I think it's fair. But it's... Well, Grimus was obviously first. Grimus was many years, seven years before, Mr. Munch? Yeah.

Mr. Munch's late 70s, early 70s. I do love him in the commercial. I mean, you don't want to punish Grimmis for having an evil phase. I'm not punishing him at all. I'm just saying these are the unconscious thoughts I had as a child and why I placed certain characters on certain levels. And I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was such a Mr. Munch fan. And I consider them sort of similar.

I mean, obviously, they look similar. But I just, I was unfairly comparing them. That's what I think. This is a recent picture that I think McDonald's themselves put out where Grimmis, is looking heavier than usual. I love that picture. He's got sunglasses. He's got a milkshake on top of a car, which is not a DeLorean, but it's in that world. Well, that was a few years ago for his birthday.

Grimmis texted me that photo. Grimmis did. Yes. Grimmis texts me. I'm honest. You? Oh, I think I signed up for Grimmis's text. Grimis will text me once in a while, and he texted me that photo, I believe.

There was a second where I thought you were meant to say Jason and you said Grimis. No, I did not. I thought you were saying Grissom and slurring. Oh yeah, that's confusing too. I'm doing a club random now on podcast of ride and I'm drinking and smoking doing every record. Sure. Friend of the show, Andrew Grimmis. And this car is a license plate that says Grimmis.

This photo rules. And it's got and it's this very, I mean, it's, it's very like, you know, retrofuture outrun, like, and pink smoke. This is a great, I've not seen this photo before. It's so good. This is getting me over to where I'm sorry, but they, it's, it's Chuckie cheese's fault. They aren't keeping munch. is cool and relevant as McDonald's.

I agree. And sometimes with like, sometimes with like modern ads, I'm almost like put off by their try hard to appeal to me. Yeah, yeah. But that, unfortunately, is so good. I can't help but love it. Here is Grimmis.

Do you want Grimis' phone number? I have it right here. Can you read it to the whole audience? Yeah, 707-932-4826. All right, I'm going to ask you for that later because remember I shut my phone off because I didn't want clowns to show up on it. And Grimis, The last time he texted me was May 6th about the dirty sodas that McAfee.

It says no filter, all flavor, new drinks drop nationwide today. What happens if you text him? Let's see. Hey, Grimmis. Talking about you. Thinking, talking and thinking, oh, yeah, I'll just say thinking about you. Yeah, that's less wrong. Thinking about you.

I won't put the A in about. Yeah, casual. Yeah, yeah. Thinking about you. No, treat it like it's nothing. Throw it away. Wow, you're really sliding. into the DMs.

I don't know. I don't even get into the DMs. I got the phone number. These guys got the digits. Yeah. Let's see here. It's just happy you're not texting me at one in the morning for once.

God. Do you have grimace in your phone? I didn't find it. I didn't see it. Hmm. He has not responded yet. So we'll see. Do you think he would?

Is it programmed to do that? I have no idea. Now, when he talked to you, now this is controversial because remember what I said at the beginning about Ronald doesn't advertise to us and he's just having a conversation with us and that's why we love him.

Are you, is it a little weird to you that Grimmis is texting you to advertise to you? Are you just happy to hear from Grimmis? I'm happy to hear from Grimmis and I do want to be kept abreast of what the McDonald's food offers are. You'd be getting this from somewhere anyway. So probably from like nine different sources.

I've just happened. Grimmis is putting himself out there more. It's hard to get out of Ronald's shadow. He's so deferential. Absolutely. And well, and he's an older character. and older people don't always have a great relationship with phones and texting. So it's, yeah, you know, it's nice to, this is a modern marketing thing because I also have Paul McCartney in my phone. And he texted me a picture of himself on June 18th and wrote,

Happy Birthday to Me, have a great day on my birthday. This is too. It's all about you, isn't it, Paul? Yeah. I get it. I mean, you're a big deal, but, hey, Mike, did you see me on, uh, talking about me on Lake Berenholds podcast? We all Is that Paul? Is that Paul or Grimmis? No, it was, it was, it was a quickly fading Paul. That was, I think it faded before it came out of your mouth. Hey, it's Gris.

That sounded like Grimmated. That sounded way more like Grimis than Paul McCartney. Yeah, I would, if I had, I guess I got Grimus on the line. He's could be excited and whatever, you know. Hey, I'm Paul McCartney. I feel like with the Beatles, ironically, Paul McCartney would be the one who was like, oh, I think he'd be my friend. You don't think you'd be friends with any of the Beatles other than Paul?

No, I think I'd be friends with all of them, but I feel like Paul is supposed to happy go lucky. You guys, both of you obviously are going to get along the best with Ringo. You know it. I think I, for sure, Ringo. Although, I mean, which beetle, I guess, I think I would probably get a lot. John seems actually like much friendlier in that and get back than I thought. So I feel like I could be buddies with John, maybe. people around him.

I think of a new guy shows up. You don't think so? What if it's me? I'm not. It's nothing against you. I like you. You're my friend, but John is a,

John's kind of an asshole. What's the chances? I'm going to be friends with John and Jason's friends with Paul. You think what's more likely? Think Jason and Paul? Yeah, I do. Okay.

Yeah. I just think John, you know, he's abrasive. I don't know. I saw something in John, I know what you're saying, and that's always what I thought about John,

but then I saw I get back and I was like, oh, he's like goofier than I thought. I think Paul would be amused by my aunties. These are becoming, this is getting into the same neck of the woods as I think Prince would will come to my birthday party.

Well, no, I didn't say he was going to be friends with me though. She could do a lot on the internet. I didn't say he'd be friends or even like me. That's not what that was about. That's just one appearance. He could pop in for 15 minutes and go. Dance to one song, perform a few. It's up to him.

Prince was a mercurial character. So maybe he's like, oh, this is the M-Bauer. is where Death Ray used to be huh? Big comedy head, yeah, yeah. Loves, yeah, alt comedy. Yeah, Prince, no one has found the late Prince's

a special thing log in yet. They don't know about his comedy burner accounts. Jeez, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was a special thinger, I was in there. Anyways, so, yeah, Mr. Munch, I mean, you went back to Mr. Munch.

Grimitt, well, I'm just saying, Grimis is, better character I think than Mr. Munch. I will say that now as an adult. Sure. Fair. Yeah. And I don't think he's texted me back, though, Grimmoth.

I saw this one ad. Look at here. Watch this. I was trying to remember why I pulled it up to watch. And then I remember it as soon as I skimmed through it. I'm not going to play the whole thing. The idea is that a trap has been set to catch grim. This is like to catch a predator.

This is like, I mean, sure, they are at the guy might be evil, but then this is in its entrapment too. Of course they're going to show them. So Ronald is posing as a director by wearing a beret, which we have established via John Travolta is the uniform of director. So he's completely correct. Also big sunglasses, which would have been a plus up of John Travolta's look. Anyway, he says that he's filming a movie, which is why he needs grimace to be like on a particular mark. And he starts pushing him back towards the fish fillet lake.

and I'm just going to play this and this might require some description for the listener, but just watch how this plays out. The evil grimace was very flattered. Would you mind stepping back a bit little further?

Asked Ronald, just a little bit further. Flash. You were sensational. Shouted Ronald. And so are these McDonald's shakes and Coca-Cola's and hamburgers. Okay.

This requires some explanation. I don't know if that landed with you guys the way it did for me. Okay, we will trap evil grimace by telling him back up. Your mark is back there, back there. And thus he falls into the lake. And he does so silently,

which creeps me out more than if there was a splash. And he doesn't yell and he doesn't protest. And he's not seen in the ad again. This feels like they killed him. Like he died on impacts. Just a silent death. He's gone. We don't check in on it.

He doesn't even show up all wet. He's just, he's dead silently in the lake. Ronald killed him, his later best friend, quote unquote. Now we've seen this footage. How do we unsee that? It feels subversive accidentally because it's got that like groovy 70s music playing under it. But it is sort of disturbing about that old music. Yeah.

I like it. But with with the context of the Sid and Marty Croft of it all, there's something disturbing about it. Yes. Like there was with Sid and Marty Croft stuff. Yes. Yes, accidentally, mostly. That's the main thing they took from Sid and Marty Kroft was the upsetting nature. Yeah, to make sure that it's really creepy.

Yeah. Well, I made a few things about that. One, it's probably a desaturated video. Grimus looks more blue than purple. He looks completely blue. He looks super blue. Yeah. And two, even if that's a really, really shallow, like, I would be afraid of drowning in the grimace suit.

Yeah. Well, I kept rewatching it because. I was like, did they make somebody in the suit splash into the real water? But it becomes clear on rewatch that they just shoved the suit in without anybody in it, which is very funny. It's like the Briniavonioa fan of dummies. Where they slow it down. You see the dummy John Travolta get hit with a missile. Oh, really?

I don't know if you ever seen that. No, no. I don't know if I've seen that either. Oh, good, good. I feel like on my John Wu, that's John Wu directed Broken Arrow. Yes. It was one of his American. There's just like slowed it down at the very end.

when John Trawold's character gets hit with a missile and it's just the funniest dummy you've ever seen and gets blown out the side of like the train I guess send that link to me and Jason and Grimmis also thought you might like this I thought I might remind you of when you splashed into the fish pool the fish fillet of fishbowl. This is another podcast clip I'd seen lately

Olivia Wilde talking about walkog and saving her life on the set of Cowboys versus aliens. Whoa, really? Like almost was trampled by like 20 horses. That's true, but was there a dummy involved? Huh? There was no dummy.

No one would have been a dummy. No one would have been in arms way. The onset danger was in my mind. Sure. Like, oh my God. That grimace suit looks like a sponge. If someone was in it, I think, yeah, would have just like swallow it. They just would have sucked all the, like, you could have drowned in the, it's so disturbing.

Director yelling, shut up. We need wild stuff. Shut up. We're not done. All right, film him writhing around. Everyone shut up until we're done. Yeah. The other disturbed, did you, maybe you're going to say this, the 1981 commercial, how I met grimace. No, I don't know. Have we talked about this on the show before? No. I'm surprised. Maybe you just didn't see this one. Does it involve a baby grimace? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Let's see.

I've gone pretty unscared in this episode. And now, it's still scary grimace. He's a baby, fuck that. Another buggy. They both have a buggy. So they're both having a buggy race. I was just about to stop a lanternground. They both went into water! Row, row, row.

And then he went over the brink. Down stairs, oh my God. All right. What happened next? Donald? You know, I thought I never... This is a mission impossible stuff. I had an idea.

Grimus was headed right towards me when... McDonnell! Oh, boy! I'll stop from a clock shake. Okay. And that's how I met Grimis. The Friends Forever. At McDonald's.

You know what? I did not end up creeped out by that. I was pretty enthralled by... the action. I just like that it wasn't a separate baby grimace that was creepy like baby Grinch. Yeah, but Ronald an adult man dressed as a baby in a big buggy. I don't love that. I never like, I really don't like.

And when I had babies, I didn't dress them in bonnets. With bonnets? Yeah, yeah, no. I don't know if a lot of people do this century. But you know what? At the end, look, what that had, even did it have adult babies? Yes. but what it had was very charming fonts,

very charming music, practical action. A lot of story packed into 30 seconds and where it really won me. Oh, okay, no wonder. Okay, yeah, it didn't feel longer than. And at the end, it's all, for the listener, it's all set in a park, right? And at the end, they pull up to a fully built McDonald's

in a park. And it makes me wonder how they did that. Would they like, did they just build a facade in a part in this wonderful pastoral setting. Because unlike a lot of McDonald's ads, that's not fake inside a soundstage. That's exterior real park with like your perfect idealized brick McDonald's.

Yeah. I mean, that's glorious at the end. It's everything I love, everything that I find beautiful about these ads. That bag was really powerful in the ads because there's an earthland McDonald's like bag of food because there's the one early

hamburger at in McDonald's land where he gets him so hooked on a McDonald's chocolate shake that the hamburger perfectly drops a bag into Ronald's waiting hands. And so now the bag is stopping buddy like buggy cars, you know? The bag is an unsung hero in this. It was a big deal. Like likely because they were, I guess it would have been after the Happy Mail boxes. So the bag got powers and Ronald has powers. I think we need to establish.

Yeah. The Ronald has powers and in the Sega game, he shot like sparks. He shot like magic sparks. And his big scarf could be a grappling hook kind of thing. Wow, wow. So, but he was shooting Jubilee dazzler kind of sparks. That's a good point.

This is where he bumped up for me. Realize it and then he like, in chasing the hamburger that there's like, suddenly, you know, he like, he's in a classroom and then like so he takes the chalkboard and it spins around into another dimension and it like, you could flip reality and like, I, that's where I'm like,

Ronald's abilities to, his sorcerer like abilities bump him above me. I will say, it is fascinating to me that, that you don't have the glowing memories of the food and the current glowing memories. The food has nothing to do with this. Yeah. Almost nothing to do with it.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Because I think most, I mean, most people, at the very least when they were kids, have the memory of begging your parents to go to McDonald's. Oh, I did. I was, no, no, I was completely that kid. So you did do some of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just that you completely don't do it anymore. Yeah, it started making me feel not good. And unlike you guys, I stop eating places when they don't feel good to me. That's quitter talk as far as I'm concerned. But it is like, as a kid, though, did you have what was your, like, if you remember back as a kid, did you like, what did you eat? What was the thing you... Much like just a little guy over here,

just two hamburgers and fries. But not fries. I really did not... What's that? But fries, you would eat. Yeah. He didn't. He says he doesn't eat the fries, even though he does.

Oh, okay. Well, I piece myself with French fries and general. I know salad is better for me, so I try to split the difference. They don't have mixed salad anymore, though. No, they don't... Unfortunately, yeah. They don't have shakers.

They don't have chef salad with the long deli meat. So there is some food. food attachment to your affection. Oh, completely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just clear to find that. No, and still up until 20s, I would have it. And really, but that's what's weird.

It stayed so little kid that even in teen and early 20s years, it would be just the two hamburgers. I never really switched to quarter pounder, and my Big Mac consumption is incredibly low. I think I think I could count on five fingers. Wow. I think it's very, very rare. There's a very little known food item that Jason reminded me of last night that I will find, because not all the McDonald's carry them, and I will bring to a record. I don't know.

We were trying to figure out where, because not all of them carry this, but we will try to get it. It's not a hamburger. No. Okay. I think, I think, yeah, I do a little. I think some phone calls to managers or franchisees. Oh, I'll be calling managers. You'll be calling.

Yes, I'll be calling. Well, go to the top. Ask Grimmis. Well, oh, I should. Yeah. But he's not going to, he's ghosting me right now. Um, we, because Cub Scouts came up, that was a big when I was little kid. It's like, oh, Cub Scout meetings are Tuesday or Wednesday night.

And they're, they're close to the McDonald's. Okay, yes. So, we go to McDonald's. You've said a number of things that made me think you got tricked into doing anything else as a kid due to proximity to McDonald's or Burger King or pizza. Uh, sure. Well, Burger King was a little, I don't know why we, I think we probably, because we were pretty happy meal toys focused. Would you say you were a happy meal toy family growing up?

For sure, we're Burger King watches. But I remember like being a little stinker. And I'm like, well, mom, you don't like, you don't eat a ton of this food. But I like the Big Mac. So you can buy a Big Mac and I'll get a kid's happy meal with a cheeseburger. And we can switch burgers. Wow. Now, yeah, was this storing Husky Boy years?

Absolutely, it was. 100%, but I wanted the toy and I wanted the Max sauce. You wanted the toy and the sauce. I want my toy and I want my toy and I want my good. And I want my sauce and I want to knock out this Cub Scouts meeting so I can watch a little TV before bed. You would also, you much like the hamburger in that ad, would turn all of the other Cub Scouts and Scout. masters into hamburgers with legs. That's how you got through any of it.

Yeah. I think back to like a lot of childhood stuff and I'm like, yeah, I quit chorus and the Scouts and baseball because like I want to be, I want to watch TV and movies. Like I want comic books and television. And sure enough, here we are. Yeah. Talking about McDonald's. And so yes, now you're talking about, at least for right now, you're talking about

At least for right now, you're talking about McDonald's for a living. For a living. And I think it's going to be a good time. I think we should wind it down unless there's anything we think could fit into this. But we got plenty of time here. There's plenty of left. I don't think there's any need to, you know, I think we can stretch this baby out. I'm so long for McDonald's right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the tough thing. Have you ever had a Big Mac? I'm not confident that I've had a Big Mac. Wow. Can we get you to do one by the end of this? Just those basic burgers. You should need a Big Mac by the end of this sucks.

That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Because you might get a grimace cuff splurge for the movie. You guys, you're being like your mom. You're trying to trick me in and stuff. No, no. He's got children. He's got children. I will get my own.

I will try to get myself. I have a child. You don't refuse the grimace cup with me. Yeah, but I don't have to lower you into eating. That's a good point. He's got plenty of opportunities. You'll be there plenty of times. That's not a bad.

I'd consider it. I'd consider it. Well, anyway, a lot of fun. fun lined up. A lot of, hey, food folks and fun, all lined up for this month. And I think for now, you survived McMount, uh, round one. And I'm looking forward to the rest of this. I think really nice childhood memories are going to be tied up in all of it. And maybe we'll make some new memories as well. Hopefully not memories of indigestion on my part. Uh, so for three bonus episodes this month, McMunt, pull up to podcast the ride the second window or get

one more bonus episode on our VIP tier club Mickey 3s. You will find all of that at patreon.com slash podcast the ride. Yeah, what can I say? I'm looking forward to it. I just wrote down the stray phrase. This was an ad.

Ronald officiates a nugget wedding. And that's all I got. That closes it out. What a tease. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Sillio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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