Podcast: The Ride - Turkey Legs with Zac Oyama

Episode Date: February 7, 2020

We're talking those big bird legs with Mr. Gobble himself, Zac Oyama (College Humor, Adam Ruins Everything)! Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus Fry's Electronics episode up at The Second Gate: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! Warning, the following podcast weighs about 1.5 pounds. And clocks in at 720 calories and 36 grams of fat. It has been cured with a salt solution and many say it has a ham-like taste. Zach Oyama is with us today to talk turkey legs on Podcast the Ride. Welcome to Podcast the Ride, the show where we usually talk turkey figuratively, but today we're talking turkey literally and also figuratively.

I'm Jason Sheridan, joined here, as always, by Mike Carlson. I'm here. There was one time, real quick, that you submitted for Prairie Home Companion. I submitted for years to Prairie Home Companion. I feel like that would have been perfect for it i think so yeah so i was pretty proud of those those stupid idiots who didn't hire you really they should be uh very sad now after they hear that intro scott garner also here he nailed the tone but yeah well enough time will tell whoa you're perfect for it too wow at least i have the intonation right at least yeah that's all you need i assume knowing almost nothing about that thing you know all i know is lake wobagon lake wobagon i submitted for both hosts i can't remember the

second guy's name because that guy took over and then they changed the name to like oh yeah yeah something else was that because of them a me too with garrison keeler or was that before so okay i think they were trying to go in a different direction i mean they didn't do any of the old directions uh yeah yeah well yeah it's always a good direction ideally yeah if you can uh well you should be the host of it let's be honest i mean i would love that yeah yeah so let's put that into the universe uh well and let's let's uh bring in our guest to see if he has any uh folksy wisdom for us oh boy do i and does he agree jason should be the host of

perry home companion uh you know him from his work at college humor and associated properties and his work at the UCB Theater. We didn't realize just now, like we did not ask you how you want to be introduced. It's Zach Oyama. Thank you. Associated Properties is honestly perfect for me. Right?

And also the host that took over, his name is Chris Thiele. Chris Thiele, yes. The mandolin player from Nickel Creek. Whoa, really? I almost never know trivia. And that was one of the few things I knew. He's a John Bryan musician.

He's amazing. I've seen him pop in at Largo and stuff. But I don't know anything about his hosting work. So I should wish he loses his job so Jason gets the job? I don't know. I think I feel comfortable saying that, too. Jason, you should take over for him. Something should happen him you should take over like a nice enough uh guy i mean i had no contact with him but i watched some samples to try and get a vibe uh for it

very talented musician i could i could pull chris i couldn't pull thea that's a very distinctive name gotcha yeah yeah uh eventually his morning show moment will come where he's kind of over the hill and doesn't really have the spirit anymore. And you'll be the, oh, what's her name? I haven't watched it in a long time. Her name's like Barley Mandrew or something. Oh, Reese? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What is it? I'm sure it's Barley Mandrew. Don't bother to look it up. It's like Sam Strongfella. Sam Stryver or something. Sam Spunkwell. Yeah. Something with a lot of spunk.

It's Sally Headstrong. You'll go viral talking about coal, and they'll have no choice but to put you on. You've done more publicity for the morning show than Apple and the Golden Globes combined. you a morning show man oh love it definitely seen it well i definitely have apple plus in a or whatever it's called and uh definitely watch that show sure yeah i mean good on you i'm looking up her name right now it's's Bradley Jackson. Bradley Jackson. I said Barley. Very close to Barley.

Bradley Jackson. Yeah. Wow. It sounds like, you know, like Jackson Brown or James Taylor, like another acoustic guitar kind of musician. From the 70s? From the 70s. Yeah.

Which maybe that's what, like, what's why we trust her inherently, because she sounds like America. Like those people do. They were from a more simple time in America when we believed in America, and that's what Bradley can get us back to. Yeah. And she's got spunk. Sure does.

But so does Jason. That's what Jason is to Bradley. Jason's a lot like Bradley Jackson. Yeah. I've got spunk. Zach, I would describe you as having spunk. Oh, thank you. I think I would take that.

I feel like, gosh, it's very hard to describe yourself. But I think spunk would be something I would, I feel fine taking. I feel like I'm not good at taking compliments or anything, but Spunk doesn't quite feel like a compliment. It could be perceived as if that's the only quality we know about you. It's like, well, tell me more. Yeah. I need a couple more. It's not bad.

I think it's good. Yeah. It could be passive aggressive. It could be wielded in a certain way. Yes. It doesn't sound like from Jason. That's sincere. I feel like it is sincere from Jason. It is sincere. He's a certain way. Yes. It doesn't sound like from Jason. I mean, that's sincere. I feel like it is sincere from Jason.

It is sincere. He's a fan of your property. But if like a 50-year-old man who like was my boss or something told me that I had spunk and like didn't look at me or something, like that would feel really bad. Oh, yeah. I just clenched my soda can when you said that. Yeah, it does feel like threatening in some way. This is tangentially related, but I got to go to the Annie Awards because Lindsay's show,

Infinity Train, was nominated. Oh, yeah. Oh, cool. And the category was presented by Ed Asner and the guy who did the voice of Krang on the Old Ninja Turtle show, among many other voices. And they did the famous Mary Tyler Moore line about Sp line about spunk lou grant hey this is for the children you're like i hate spunk or whatever and they did that krang and lou grant did him wait was he playing krang he didn't play krang in that moment but he was playing krang in a different

bit during he did the krang voice wow so lou grant and Krang were presenting Lindsay's category Wow And he does look like a little muscly brain Right? He Honestly he looks like kind of a Handsomish 70 year old Unfortunately Because I was like shocked

Because you assumed he was a tiny little brain I thought he was real But he more resembled the suit that Crane... He looked a lot like the suit with hair. Crane's android body with hair. So I believe his name is Pat. That's a plus up. It's too bad that guy had no hair.

That fake guy. Pat Fraley. Fraley, I believe is his name. Anyway, that reminded me of that. That's a good moment. So, Zach, when I asked you to be on the show, you came out. I was saying, well, we usually ask for a few options

or is there stuff you really like that you want to talk about? And you came out with two things. And the one was turkey legs. Yes. Which is, pun intended, the meat of the episode today. Whoa, Prairie Home, come on, listen up. Pack it gross. Just submit come on. Listen up. Pack it, Gross. Just submit this episode.

I should. Mail the podcast. I'll do a little punch up on my old samples and then this episode. How about we trade Chris for you? We'll make like a sports trade. We'll take the host of Prairie Home as our third man and you'll go to Prairie Home to be the host.

He's going to move away? and you'll go to Prairie Home to be the host. He's going to move away? I have to go to Minneapolis? And then we get a lot more like guitar plucking. Yeah, we hear stories about John Bryan and stuff. Yeah. But you had another story as well. Yes. When I said, like, is there parks, do you have parks experiences you want to talk about?

This was just a weird story that came to mind when I was just trying to think of any park specifics. But, yeah, like, the last time I went to Disney, I went with my girlfriend and her friend. And, like, we were just trying to, like, you know, we hadn't been in a couple of years and trying to, like, kind of do everything and when we were in uh you know tomorrowland we got kind of like there's this you know harried disney parks worker just trying to stop anyone to get like them to listen to like a timeshare presentation or something and to get that to do that you would get uh free fast passes to like other rides and uh we like kind of walked by him and we're like, no, I don't, no way. And then we thought about it and we're like, he was saying it was only 30 minutes.

And we're like, you know what? Maybe that actually makes sense to go sit through this weird presentation and like get a fast pass for anything. Anything except for guardians was the deal. And so eventually we like, you know, came back to him and said we would do it and then we got like it was clearly like getting worse and worse as the time went on where he was like great we just got to wait for a couple more people and then we had to stand there for like 20 more minutes and

it's like us like trying to decide if we should leave or not and then eventually we get like maybe one other person tagging along with us and then we he's like all right great now we just have to go to the conference room in one of the hotels and he like takes us out of the park and we're walking all the way through like is it downtown disney's is it really whatever that area is so this is from you were at a disney vacation club like booth yeah in tomorrowland yes which is pretty much just a wagon. It looks like a rocket. It looks like a rocket.

Yeah. And with pictures, with binders, and a guy there. And the presentation area is at the Disneyland Hotel, probably about as far away as you can get. Like a 25-minute walk, for sure. Yeah. And the whole time we're like we're we should probably leave we made a mistake but he's clearly been doing this for 20 years or whatever and he's so used to people trying to walk away like he he started telling the story and it was like um i think he had like he would never stop talking as well just to like

never give you the opportunity to say actually i think we want to leave and he had like, he would never stop talking as well, just to like, never give you the opportunity to say, actually, I think we want to leave. And he launched it. Like, as we were like out walking out of the park to downtown Disney or whatever, to the hotel, he starts going into his conspiracy theory about princess die and Dodi Faye. He was like, he was like, I, um, let's just say I don't give England any of my money. And he was trying to say that they were assassinated. And he was like, I've gone to his apartment

and I've made a trip there. I think we never got his full take, but it was just so weird in the middle of this like you get these benefits and these benefits and i don't think doty fayed was a regular car crash obviously uh you get the fast pass you know like just like peppered in perfectly like just like a sketch character or something and like uh it's just this bizarre string of events where like, he's now launching into this.

And now I'm just like, snapped back into it. Like, I was trying to leave and now I'm like, I have to hear every opinion you have about this. But he didn't really like, that was basically the ceiling of the Princess Di opinions. Like, I was trying to get more out of him, but he like, wouldn't really. At a certain point, I think he knew he had us hooked. And then we get to the hotel and um it seems like the presentation has started and he like his attitude completely changes now that

he thinks he missed it and this this like 45 year old man starts running around the disney hotel like in his slacks tucked into his like polo shirt going oh fuck oh shit he's actually cussing and like we're like wow this is really interesting and we like follow him and eventually he finds the room where the uh presentations going on and like they were able to sneak us in and uh we heard a really sad presentation appealing to like don't you want to secure your children's futures just in case anything happens to you. Don't you want them to have a vacation? And it's like that's what the sell for the Disney parks thing is. In case you die in a little crash mysteriously.

What year was this? This was like a year and a half. It was right before Star Wars. I haven't been there since the Star Wars stuff is open, but it was right before that. Oh, so in 2018, I mean, everybody's thinking about Princess Di and Dodie. I haven't been there since the Star Wars stuff is open, but like it was right before that. Oh, so in 2018, I mean, everybody's thinking about Princess Di and Dodi Foyer. Yeah.

This is a different time you have to keep in mind. That's what I wanted. Historical context for it. Yeah. So that makes so much more sense. I wonder if that's like, because he obviously like there's tips when you're like, like standing outside a grocery store and you want people to sign a petition the tip i've always heard and i've never done that is you like you put something in their hands yeah and then they can't leave because they have part like

your thing and then you don't take it back from them like you put your hands down and you let it like leaving them holding it and they can't psychological trick sure uh for doing that uh so this guy has obviously figured out a good way to walk and do that. It was so stressful. And then also he like had our cell phone numbers when we like signed the book thing. And so like he called us when it was time to go do the thing. And that's like kind of, we were like kind of close enough that we're like, I guess we could try it. And then like after we had done the presentation, he was like, he called us and he was like, I just want, I think you guys are really great. And I want to set you up with a little gift. And we're like i guess we could try it and then like after we had done the presentation he was like he called us and he was like i just want i think you guys are really great

and i want to set you up with a little gift and we're like oh cool like well i have no idea what this is going to be we walk back over to the booth and it's like uh like some some incredible two stickers and like one of those like fast pass like bracelet things that like you can scan instead of a like it was almost it was a bunch of trash. I want to set you up. Yeah. Stickers. I pulled some strings. My sticker contact.

We're like all 30. Like, OK. You met the Willie Loman of like timeshare presentation of like wrapping it up like kind of like it was really upsetting yeah did they offer because when i did i did it like six months ago and i was alone i was at the disneyland hotel working on my computer and a woman came over and i thought she was gonna like arrest me for just loitering uh and she said she was like est learning ask questions and then i realized oh she's trying to get me to do a presentation and then she explained the fast pass and i was like you know what i should do this so i did it and i was alone in the room but then after i was done with the sad

presentation only you getting the presentation it was me and me alone i was asking a ton of questions and i was like trying to i was real interested i was trying to i was i would say like oh so this is like an investment he goes no no no we can't say investment it's not an investment i was like oh okay but like you own something yes you own something but we can't say investment and i go what if i wanted because like well basically what it works how it works is like you have a home resort so you pick one of the hotels that's that's your quote-unquote home resort but then you get a certain amount of points every year to get a different hotel anywhere around the world and they have properties everywhere properties everywhere i assure you they have properties everywhere yeah but there's only

like two hotels left that you can have be your home resort because like rooms have filled up on every everything else so i would say like well can i get like a polynesian or that's like sold out and he goes well i can see what i can do and i'd be like well what do you mean you can see what you can do like things come open he goes all i can tell you is i can see what i can do it's like car buying right and i was like well i gotta check i gotta check right so there's like a whole level he goes my job is to make you happy he said it's like a robot like yeah yeah do you want me to kiss you i can do that he does seem pre-programmed with 25 phrases so it's pretty interactive yes you are triggering distinct answers but you you'd run out at some point yeah uh and then he goes so what i can do is if you didn't did they

did did they do this i'm trump uh tripping all over my words did they offer you like a year's worth of points if you signed up today yeah there was like a powerpoint that had like certain point values and i think the guy like uh my girlfriend's friend davis like uh and my friend i should say uh he he was like pretty savvy with this stuff and like started crunching the numbers in the room and like whispered to us he's like you have to go like literally every weekend or something for this to be worth it yeah yeah it's for people who want to go every year or every other year i mean that's what my my family was in it in the 90s and we would there was a few years where

we went every year where we would bank the points and one year we went for two weeks uh and that is a long time to be in the bubble like that i mean we definitely did sea world and universal like we did other stuff too uh but at the time old key west was like the main that was the vacation club hotel right there weren't a ton. I think shortly thereafter, they opened up the Boardwalk Hotel in Florida to be Vacation Club. But they're building a fourth tower at the Disneyland Hotel. Fourth tower.

It sounds so. Fourth tower. The fourth tower floor. Building four. Building four over just a patch of grass at the Disneyland Hotel. So that could be a home resort right like in the future when we got back from disney world i feel like you guys were trying to sell me just out for no reason on why it might be a good idea for me and i don't know this i'm gonna get the stat i know exactly what you're saying but this we were not selling you on doing it i've

tried to sell you on a number of different things over the years but i think we were just explaining to you and you were feeling like we were trying to sell you because you were like i don't need that and i was like no i think i was just explaining it i don't think i shouted mike well there was force is what i'm saying i don't think you didn't shout but i remember you going like well i'm not going to use that i'm not going to go every year i'm probably wrong but my my probably false memory of it is you guys came to a point that was like, well, I mean, it makes sense if you're going to go like six times a year. Well, that's exactly. No, we were here.

I know exactly the memory. I'm not going to go six times a year. You were standing in the corner. They backed you up into it. I broke a lamp or two. We had a contract. I felt their sweat against my face. Scott, it just seems like you're the type of person who'd like to secure your family's

vacation future. I mean, you know. God forbid something happens. That's what we were trying to do. Don't you want some leisure? I mean. All those hard times. I guess love in my life is important.

Are you saying I won't have it if I don't do this? That's what he's saying. I'm not saying anything. I'm just here to make you happy. You're just being my buddy? You're just seeing what you can do? Absolutely. Absolutely. I am trying to steer you away from this aftermarket. be you're just you're just being my buddy you're just seeing what you can do absolutely absolutely i am trying to steer you away from the reset this aftermarket like the shady aftermarket which is a

thing we will get into eventually can i have the polynesian is my home hotel well you can see what you can do okay all right let's see what we can do zach did they offer you a ride like they offered me to where i've said this before exactly i was offered at the end of my presentation do you need a ride anywhere now i stupidly said no i'll just i'll walk out and i go where would you take me he goes well anywhere you want to go the parks or i go how would you take me there and And he's like, well, like a golf cart? And I was like, no, no, I'm good. And then I left going, what the hell is wrong with me? I remember taking a golf cart from the Disneyland Hotel into Disneyland.

That could have been really fun. Yeah. They did not offer us a ride. And also, so deep down in me, I had to leave immediately. As soon as we sat down, I was like, this feels wrong. This feels bad. There's a couple other families that were like, I don't know. to leave immediately you know like i was as soon as we sat down i was like this feels wrong this feels bad like there's a couple other families that were like i don't know i i don't know how earnestly they were considering it but it made me feel so bad uh not that that's the worst like

obviously there are people who would love to do that and it would make sense for them but like i just felt it in my bones that i had to like break through a wall to get out of there so he may have shouted at you as you were running out the door we'll give you a ride somewhere give me those fast passes i gotta go yeah uh so you're saying you wanted to go back to the theme park that you'd paid to attend yeah yeah pretty much seemed appealing but we used the fast passes and i think all things considered uh was a better deal uh you know like i think it was better than waiting in a line just for the experience it alone it's kind of yeah it's like akin to waiting in a line it's similarly tedious but a unique experience right it felt

bizarre enough to like i will still remember it for a long time did they make you look at the fake hotel room no they did not wow interesting presentation huh 2019 is different yeah um the uh are you aware that there's a previous uh correlation between the disneyland resort and princess diana that there was this ride it was supposed to be a very fast limo ride that they had to cancel because of a, it was supposed to be a ride where a paparazzi were chasing you in a limo. What? It was going to be a madcap trip.

And then that incident occurred and they were like, we can't do that. And it became a very slow moving ride that was very like tedious and bad and considered one of the worst rides of all time. Does that ride, that ride doesn't exist anymore? It's what Monsters, Inc. is now, if you've been on that. We did a whole episode about it. But the Monsters, Inc. is a redress of this ride where a slow limo took you to see Drew Carey and Cindy Crawford. As played by Bizarre Mannequins. Jackie Chan, Tim Allen, Whoopi Goldberg.

And they all look like bizarre, like bad drawings brought to life. DC Follies type. So there has been Princess Diana, Disneyland. Crossover. Wow, that is so weird. I was not aware of that at all. I don't know if that guy would be bothered by that fact as well. Not only is it a conspiracy, but also it ruined what could have been a great fun ride.

I wonder if he maybe worked on the early iterations of that ride and that being ruined made him ride deep. So then when the incident happened, then he is like, okay, new pitch. It's a ride where we take you deep inside the conspiracy and we tell the truth of what happened to Dodie. And then they're like, oh, maybe you could go work in timeshares instead he's been stewing about it for 15 20 or however long i want my transfer back i don't mean to distract from everybody edwin is using a sandal as a pillow oh i got a good pov for a picture if you can get a picture of edwin with i'll do that if we want to figure out our next bit of business beautifully yeah for sure it's really dramatic in front of a fireplace yeah it is really so yeah he looks like bane from yeah oh my god he does oh okay check the twitter we'll uh we'll be posting photos of this

bane dog i am so you know you get a darkness like a child like the dog is like i take photos of them so i have to really assess like is this a new original photo it's just something i don't have in my phone already and i do not have this in my phone it's pretty good yeah all legs deep down wish to be humped brother pretty good i was trying to think of like what it is uh i it's like like it's that's what comes off the top of my head the first trailer was like oh yeah unintelligent yeah you couldn't and it felt like they re-recorded the voice much like they probably did with doolittle the first time he did it because all

if you watch do little a lot of the lines look adr'd oh so i assume whatever voice he was doing for when they shot the movie uh you couldn't understand we've been doling out oh sorry people of england i talked to animals robert downey jr's voice Yeah he was doing the Bane voice He made a choice You know have you seen this movie called Dark Knight Rises? Well I know I haven't There's a voice that's a little Similar I'm gonna tell you Please don't yell at me Robert

It's so bizarre to me to be like You know what I'm finally out of the Iron Man World and then be like next up A couple of D do little movies probably a man without a franchise is a man with no structure he replaced drinking and drugs with a franchise

and he needs his next one yeah and look we're obviously gonna get 10 do little we'll get the avatar like an avatar amount of do littles does it and after the credits is there a scene with like a hippo or something? A hippo with an eyepatch? We're putting together a team.

Jason and I stayed until the end. There is not an end-to-end credits, but there is a tag. There's a mid-credit tag. Where you find out a character dies more gruesomely than you thought. It's less of a tease and more of like a snuff film yeah it's very weird can we say you're like all right skip one minute ahead if you

don't want spoilers what what is this what happened it's uh it's uh michael sheen's character who's one of the only shins yeah he's like the bad guy and he's like at least you can understand what he's saying at least that's nice that's the nice part about his moments in the movie. Like, you understand what he's saying, and you know he's mad at Doolittle. And he's playing the level of camp, like excitement, like Steve Martin in that live-action Looney Tunes. Each animal. Yeah, he's fun in that. Yeah.

Yes. Each animal in Doolittle is having their own movie separately from the movie and then do little uh you can't understand half of what he says and then michael sheen at least you can understand him and you know he's mad at do little and he hates do little um so then there's like a tag where it just seems like he gets murdered by bats yeah that's it yeah he just gets like we're like because bats. Yeah. Oh, no. That's it. Yeah. He just gets like, we're like, because I thought it pops back up during the credits and we're

like, oh, yeah, here we go. This is Doolittle 2. And then it's, no, no, it's Michael Sheen getting murdered by bats. What's the Jared Leto movie called? Morbius? Yeah. Michael Morbius? Yeah.

Michael Morbius. Yeah. Oh, if Sheen was in Morbius, that's a good idea. They cross over the Doolittle and Spider-Man universes. Oh, if Shane was in Morbius? That's a good idea. They cross over the Doolittle and Spider-Man universes. Just to clarify, you know he was killed by bats, but then you see him get more killed by bats?

Or the bats are new information? He just kind of got fucked up and disappeared. Yeah, because they end the movie. Have we spoiled the movie on the podcast yet? A little bit. We talked about the dragon's butt. Yeah, we talked about that. So yeah, if you didn't hear it, they a bagpipes out of a dragon's asshole uh that's the end of the movie and the dragon like farts and then do a little and you don't understand what he's saying he's like a tuscan raider or something in star wars

you really can't understand what he's saying uh and then yeah michael sheen just like fucked up, like cartoonishly suggested that he gets like kind of fucked up by bats. And then they just post credits to make you know. No, no, no. I want you to know he gets fucked up by bats. Like that's how they want you to know that. And then they cut to more of that Jurassic World lady dying at the hands of the... Meanwhile... The assistant getting dragged

by what did the the water dinosaur do it or did it it was a combination but yeah ultimately the water dinosaur they teamed up uh but then but they do like micro close-ups of which bones shattered and i just really want you to know this is a very tough death they do like the simpsons season one gag where she's in the ambulance. She gets loaded into it, goes up a hill, and then the ambulance gets attacked by a dinosaur. And she spills over the cliff, crashing all the way down into the water again. And with each land, a different dino chomps a piece of her off. Yes.

Pterodactyl, raptor. Don't text around children. This happens to you right cosmically she deserved that yeah don't be doing your job or whatever I forgot what I was gonna say oh well I guess we could talk about turkey legs yeah I think it's yeah well speaking

of yeah eating flesh number one on my list of two things ding ding ding it's the sound of the dinner bell and everyone comes a running just for that great uh prairie home this has become a killer peg it's come from a maybe you've got a chance to you're on fire you're shooing just you're gonna get a meeting for sure dinner yeah't call me late for dinner. Yeah. That's good too.

Can we use that? Yeah, absolutely. So turkey legs. Turkey legs. I want to start with, did everyone see the Snopes question? If you Googled it? Yeah. And I just want to start with that. Yeah.

There's a question that people have asked. Are Disney's turkey legs really emu legs? Oh, I've heard that post before. I never heard the answer. False. False. Okay. So I just wanted to dispel that myth right off the bat.

This rumor was propagated, I believe, in maybe a Conan appearance by Zachary Levi, who said that he had no employees who told him that. So he's like, I think it was maybe a little dead, and then he cracked it back open. I see. And then I have my own Snopes, tangentially but relatedly. Are the rumors true that Zach Levi is the king of Comic-Con? When will he answer this?

I have an answer. Hell yeah. Wow. Convert. True. True. True. No need to go to Snopes on that one. I've snuck into Nerd HQ, the hottest Comic-Con party.

He's DJing. The ZL is DJing. He's holding court. He's holding court. Holding court because he's a nerd. He's actually a nerd. Yeah. What's the show he was on?

He was on Chuck. Chuck. Chuck was the biggest nerd. He was on Chuck. He was on Telenovela. Yeah. But Chuck, he was a nerd. Yeah, he was. What's the show he was on? He was on Chuck. Chuck. Chuck was the biggest nerd. And he was on Chuck. He was on Telenovela. Yeah. But Chuck, he was a nerd. Straight up nerd. Dork. I believe that the season Telenovela came out,

the Heroes reboot, or like continuation. I think he was on that too. There was one NBC season where he was on two shows like he was the face of the network there's heroes content on another episode coming up do you guys know why offhand teaser I can't remember anything we've recorded so no because we've sinned and God is punishing us that's why uh stay tuned for heroes you'll i think you'll run into it too okay yeah um anyway

uh so did you see the there's a funny quote on that snopes uh from tim williams of gatorland an emu leg is eight times larger than a turkey leg if you're going to walk around with an emu leg in a theme park and shoe on it you'd have to get a cart with wheels to push that thing around they're huge i'm picturing the flintstones here uh sort of a dinosaur themed but you know 50s style theme park oh yeah i actually have uh something related to the flintstones about turkey legs because so i. So I think as you look at articles or videos about it, what people seem to respond to about having a big turkey leg is the primal nature of it. That it feels very caveman. That you're just biting into a big dumb thing.

And I watched a clip from a show that I love and have watched many times, Unwrapped, hosted by Mark Summers. Oh, sure. Where he tells you how Cracker Jacks or M&Ms are made or whatever. And he did an all-Disney episode and there's a turkey legs section of it. And they talked to an employee who's describing why people like turkey legs, and she's

like, I think it's just, you know, you like biting into a big thing like a caveman, you know? You take a big bite just like those little Flintstones. Those little Flintstones those little famously little flintstones i really like that they're they're little i guess right yeah i think so yes if they're cartoons on tv

they are they are little the flintstones are short they're three apples tall if the flintstones walked in here right now they'd be edwin sight we'd have to like keep them away from edwin might jump their heads off wow i was trying to think of why i liked uh turkey legs so much as well and like you know come back to the you know would get them as a kid

going to like theme to disney specifically all like whenever'd go, I'd get like a turkey leg and that was such a treat. And like before that, like, I think I was like a pretty picky child. Like, you know, like my parents had to like, there's just like a family story is that they would have to tell me things

were chicken all the time in order for me to eat them or whatever. And I'd only eat pizza or whatever. And like, and like thinking about it today, I was like, Oh, I think I just like liked cartoons and wanted to eat what cartoons. Yeah.

And that's like very much chicken, you know, like a little like drumstick or whatever. And then a turkey leg is so that, especially considering the Flintstones, just like a little dumb kid who wanted to eat cartoon food. Yeah. You would request it. A turkey leg? Yeah. Yeah. yeah you would request it a turkey leg yeah yeah i mean like uh i knew i forget exactly how it started but i i like uh for sure thought that looked cool and one i wanted one it looks like

a prop you're right like it looks like a foam rubber right piece essentially um i do you still if you go to the parks now are you grabbing grabbing one of those? Yeah. I mean, mostly out of nostalgia doing that and coming to terms with how gross it is now. It is technically portable, but then you're just disgusting unless you have to go to the bathroom and wash your hands and face afterwards and eat this thing with bony tendrils in it. It's pretty gross. A lot of tendrilsrils a lot of dripping like every article about it in the new york times they say caveman so much in the new york times article about it and then they say dripping so much it's always dripping and i'm like that's a negative

of it i mean yeah i like uh i i don't want it dry certainly i like that well for one i like that it's dark meat we were a big dark meat it is a very good like bang for your buck in terms of food there just because you can really go to town on one of those for a while until you feel really bad about yourself yeah and like so you're like i don't know i feel like there are a lot of things you can get at theme parks and Disney or whatever, where it's like, I'm not really full. And like, I spent way more money than I thought I'd prefer. And so in that way, I like it, I guess.

But like, it is disgusting. And it doesn't slow you down is a good thing about it. You don't like have to, because sometimes you stop and have a too expensive Disney meal and it takes an hour and a half, two hours out of your day. You grab that and go and be in a line but you're also dripping juice all over the place. And you're just like you have napkins stuck to your hands

and it's just horrible. If you do think about it, like there must how, they sell a lot of these still. It's something like This is where I'm wrapped to be helpful. That's exactly what their bread and butter. Among the six domestic parks, they sell 2 million of these a year. Wow, 2 million a year.

2 million. So imagine how much residue is all over the park. If there's like a black light that could tell what turkey residue. The greasy wax paper. That's what kind of gives me. Because, Zach, I was like you as a kid. As a chubby middle schooler, every trip, I was like, well, I gotta have my turkey leg.

I gotta have one turkey leg. I especially like that it... I mean, this comes up in articles, too. It tastes a little like ham. Yeah. It's weird. I like that it tasted... I like that it was smoky. It tasted like ham. I like pastram i like that it tasted i like that it was smoky it tasted like ham i like

pastrami for that i like things that tasted like ham i really haven't thought about it till you said that but that is so true it does taste like it tastes like ham because it's so it's cured in a salt solution which which you more often associate it with ham than turkey what else tastes like ham though pastrami tastes like ham because it uses a similar curing uh sort of thing but you're not holding out on any like snacks or chips or crackers that are ham flavored uh well that depends i'm trying to think now i mean there are like uh i feel like there was a lot of bacon flavored stuff. I think if it's not meat and tastes like ham, it's just like, what am I? I think I feel like it's so technically,

like it's so false feeling in my head that I'm like, I can't eat that. If it's at least meat in some way that it tastes like ham, maybe that tricks my brain a little more. It's probably liquid smoke. At that point, it's just liquid smoke or powdered smoke flavoring or whatever delicious would you say ham is your favorite flavor i'm not a bit not anymore i don't think as a chubby middle school yeah my favorite flavor is ham is it uh why is it like a is ham kind of more for kids in a way

i've definitely lost my taste for it i'll have it sometimes i have no taste for ham i will be more of a holiday food yeah i used to be like and this feels maybe not that i feel like more kids like ate turkey sandwiches and like growing up yes that's what i did yes i would my i don't know i think my dad liked ham and we would get ham sandwiches and you know i liked ham sandwiches as a little kid and like would uh bring that up to people who find that absolutely disgusting today oh we would switch it up and then a lot of it like capicolo or salami and sounds great yeah uh scrambled eggs with diced ham i still do that's a good diner option that's something diners can't really mess up in

my mind i prefer it if it seems like fresh or carved rather than just like deli meat like kind of torn up and placed in the eggs that's what it usually is i feel like when i make it you're in trouble yeah yeah yeah yeah You do that though? Well if I have ham in the house I'll switch it How often do you have ham in the house? I usually have I usually have turkey

But once in a blue moon I'll switch it up and either get like A third a pound of roast beef Or a third a pound of ham It doesn't make that many sandwiches When you enter the house do you put it up in the air and you go, ham in the house, and you raise the roof? I guess now. From now on.

From now on. Zach, what meats do you have in your apartment? I do a lot more turkey now. Okay. I think just vaguely for health reasons like it seems healthier and like i will you know occasionally have some ham in the house though it's hard because my girlfriend won't eat it uh and so it makes me like feel very aware that i'm the only one eating this ham sandwich stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that a vegetarian or just distaste for ham? I think it's more, she'll have like poultry and stuff, but like beyond that, tries not to eat pork or beef. Have you guys ever shared a turkey leg? A big turkey leg. Disney is like, these are meant for sharing. Please share these. That's disgusting though, right? Like share a turkey leg because disney is like these are meant for sharing please share these that's disgusting though right like share a turkey leg i think like uh we she had like a couple of bites of it but was not that interested in it like last time we went uh after our time shared prestigio uh but like

i'm not like if the four of us went to disney and and shared a turkey leg? No, we'd have to get two, so we'd pair off. I don't know, that's still gross. No, no, no. You would do it. You've saved money. You've eaten soup after me before at Disney. Sure, yeah. Mike doesn't like to share. No, no, I don't.

It's certainly not turkey leg sharing. Like a family passing around a turkey leg? Get me away from that. Yeah, I could see, okay, I could see it if it was like my child or girlfriend or wife, and she's like, I'm done with this. Do you want the rest? Okay.

Yeah. That's fine. But not to alternate, like it's ice cream. I gave her like, I was eating it, and I was like, do you want a bite? And she like had a couple bites and then gave it back. And that was the end of the sharing. And that felt fine. Yeah.

That didn't. Yeah. I think there's a fine. You do hit a tipping point where it's just, it's already so gross by yourself. And you're getting drippy residue all over the place. Yeah. And then you're like out of kiss commission for a couple hours I feel. Like you don't want to

share and then like have a romantic moment. Right. Because it tastes like ham. For me. That's a fast pass. Jason likes ham lip balm. Ham flavored lip balm. There is bacon flavored lip balm. Ham flavored lip balm.

There is bacon flavored lip balm. I've seen that. I think, you know, there's been a big, like, bacon has been memefied a lot in the last few years. It might be a little bit, you might argue it's too much. People use it too much. But maybe it's time for ham to become memefied a little more. Maybe ham in the house is the it the meme it doesn't have to be but these certainly got these have like one of the articles said like the massive increase in

these with the rise of social media something like a 25 percent like oh so people in sales so people can post pictures of themselves pictures You can post pictures of the, it's like very photographable. And it was already like organically popular. Like there used to be one station that had these in Frontierland at Disney World. Big Al's Coonskin Caps, the stand would sell these. And that's gone. And I believe so. Yeah.

My mom, my sisters and my niece all went to Disney World like two weeks ago. And my mom, when I talked to her right after, she was like, yeah, I didn't really see any turkey legs. And I immediately Googled it. And there were like two or three places that had them. But I think they're scaled back in a way, I'm sure. Yeah, I think so. They were trying to get healthy for a few years there. I think now that some of the crazy sweets they sell,

I feel like they're less concerned about being healthy. And the Instagram angle is more crazy indulgent stuff. So that makes sense. It would kind of get a reprise. I think it's a little funny that it feels so old timey of a food, but I was surprised that you had that big owl entry point for it, that that was only in the mid-80s.

This has not been a Disney phenomenon for that long. It was like State Fair and Renaissance Fair. It feels kind of borrowed from that. For a long time. Yeah. I don't think it was on the West Coast for a little while, and then we demanded it. I think I do have the list of where you can get them,

but people might know already. Stands. Usually stands. The only restaurant I can think of that, and I don't even know if they still have them, but they did for a while, was the Three Broomsticks and Harry Potter was selling them. Oh, yeah.

They're at Universal too, right? I mean, obviously with that, but are they like, are there multiple Universal spots? You get them at Universal Florida? That's a good question. Well, they got rid of the Flintstones barbecue at Universal Hollywood, which would have been a perfect place for them.

Which seemed gross as hell. Gross as hell, they never ate there. If I remember correctly, at the Disney World thing that I looked up, they had one dedicated turkey leg stand and then two restaurants that had it okay so it's like not as prevalent as i remember as a kid but you know well and for a little while they were really sticking it on a lot of merch magnets and like cookie shaped like it these weird shirts does any i don't even know what to call these shirts, but this certain kind of art. That's like the old timey guy saying marijuana.

Here's what ails you. Yeah, like beer. It's not just for dinner. Like a 50s advertisement kind of like. Yeah. I remember these posters would be at like Suncoast Video. They were like one of the 20 choices of poster for your stupid high school room or dorm yeah i had i truly it's so embarrassing to suddenly

remember this all right and like middle school zach had a uh beer helping white guys dance since 1985 or something that was a big one i remember like hitting a point where I was like, mom, I need some posters and like getting fat. I think I had it. Oh, God. Oh, yeah. List your posters. List all your posters. Oh, that's a good.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. This sucks. Oh, I'm sorry. No judgment. I think I went to like a coconuts and bought a bunch of posters. And like I had a Dukes of Hazzard poster. The movie?

No. Like I thought it was like, I don't don't know ironic i'd never even seen it and you know like thought it was cool in some way i think i had oh god those are the two that stand out i think i had one or two simpsons posters but they're like more vague in my brain god it's very cool stuff i think those were my posters i had an austin powers poster yeah i had like the first austin powers i had i had the dr evil monologue about uh like a zoroastrian named filma shaved my testicles. Of course. But I was very, I mean, and certainly by college I was very like highfalutin and like my college dorm posters punch drunk

love. Yeah, I definitely had. People wanted to punch me. I had a freshman year, I definitely had Fight Club and Donnie Darko. Whoa, really? Yeah, really on that. Then I had Shattered Glass.

I didn't have Boondock Saints. Shattered Glass. Shattered Glass had come out, and then the art theater, when it left, they would always just sell the posters for like five bucks. I somehow eventually ended up with a giant, not regular movie poster size but like really hard cardboard like like nine feet tall poster of step up two that was like an ironic fun thing that i like went out of town to my mom immediately threw away oh i had an ironic roll bounce similar area that's good. Or was it Drumline? Oof. I can't recall, actually. The Simpsons poster with everyone.

Sure. The giant everyone poster. I had an X-Men 3 poster that I bought like six months before the movie came out. X-Men 3. Because I knew it was going to be so good. Because you fucking love Ratner. I love Rat. That's why I bought it.

Because I knew Rat. I did know Ratner. So I was excited to see his take on the material. I will say X-Men 3, not as bad as people remember it. Brett Ratner looks like he always just ate a turkey leg. I had... Just greasy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember working post on a movie, and they were a they were doing tower heist on on the movie like a floor

above me and he like the times he was i don't think he was really ever there uh but like there were times where the whole parking lot would be like blocked by like a nice mercedes and that's like pulled in diagonally it's like it was brett ratner myself my god we gotta get the movie ready eddie's hosting the oscars he told me he's in it sounded something like that right yeah that's right it's a spirit of it at least eddie's got produced and he's gonna do it more turkey please michael michael jackson and i threw water balloons at homeless people. Michael and Chris and I. That's true. That's a true story.

Good God. Me and MJ and Chris Tucker at a dance party in our PJs. Look up all those classic clips online. We'll probably post them also. Ratner rarities coming soon. Oh, yeah. Add that to that series. Yes. Spacey, Travolta. We're trying to hit all the creeps

It's not theme park related but on the second Gate anything goes That might just be a second podcast Oh sure Paywall only Your girlfriend already has a podcast with creeps in the title So I don't want to infringe on her territory We'll figure something out

Back to turkey legs turkey legs i am i am creeped out by the color i recognize that yeah uh i recognize that when when you put that ham thing together that makes sense but it's also kind of ham uh colored to me and i think that's what i think i've always reacted adversely and i will admit never had a turkey leg because i don't like the range. I feel like at best it's pink, which is weird to me and seems raw or not correct or something. Well, the meat is pink. The meat becomes pink, but the skin gets very brown from the smoking.

Well, I feel like I also see some purple in there, which is not an appealing- You're going to get some purple. That's tough. I mean, that's like kind of dark meat in a weird way has- Does it have purple? Maybe I'm wrong. get some purple. That's tough. I mean, that's like kind of dark meat in a weird way has, does it have purple? Maybe I'm wrong. Sometimes, yeah. Let's go around the room.

Dark meat, white meat, everyone? What's everyone's feelings? As a kid, I think I liked eating the drumstick because it was fun, but white meat for sure, I think. White meat now, but yeah, definitely dark as a kid. And I ate like, yeah, I ate like drumsticks, chicken legs. I ate shake and bake chicken legs for lunch

for a lot of high school. My mom prepared a batch. Wow. Nice. Yeah. How gross. Wow. And those don't hold?

No. They get weird. But I was so picky. I guess like, yeah, I don't want to implicate you in that gross. No, I was pretty picky. Yeah. Chicken, again, I don't want to implicate you in that gross. No, I was pretty picky.

Yeah. Yeah. I would have a chicken again, I guess. I would eat it. So she made it. But disgusting. Did you go? Did you get to go off campus ever for lunch?

Not so much. We never did. Not allowed or just never did? You would have very rare exceptions. You got some kind of pass. I'll let you go. But like most, almost everyone was not allowed. And I will say for the record i

am 100 dark meat amen brother i mean come on chicken thigh that's that's my adult version of uh just like um i can't just make a batch of chicken legs now i can't justify that to myself and it's also not i don don't want to. Yeah. The dark meat seems just inconsistent and it feels like I'm going to get a big hunk of fat and like, that's disgusting. Now I'm, you're saying that's a good thing.

I mean, it's part of the gamble, you know, I will say though, my, I do think my feeling on meat is changing slowly. I'm eating less meat in general same i don't really have meat in the apartment anymore i have like salmon and that's about it yeah and i'll have

a hamburger once in a while but when i go to taco bell i go all beans now i all go all black beans uh it's basically the same it doesn't really. The only thing I think I've said before is hot chicken is my last indulgence. Which is white meat more so. Yes. Yeah. So we'll see if they can get an impossible chicken meat that fills the need. That would be nice. The chicken imitators out there are not so good.

Not so good. I forget if Gardein is one of those. There's something with an S. I don't dig them. Yeah, no, I haven't had a good one yet. I like the Impossible Burger though. I'm fine if they all across the board do that. That's fine with me. I like, say, Tan.

That's what I'm after. Oh, yeah, I don't really like that. Oh, okay. It's a certain texture. It depends. Yeah, so yeah, I don't really like that. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's a certain texture. It depends. Yeah. So, yeah. I think I feel like the idea of eating dark meat right now is gross. I wouldn't do it. What would you say to just a big seitan turkey leg? Just a big, yeah. Imitation bone. It's like recycled have the did they uh manufacture it so that it has the purple in it it's got the purple it's dripping it's disgusting okay because the

impossible burger simulates blood in a burger by dripping with red so as long as it drips with purple and you share it with your whole family share with your whole family and any friend a friend of yours too that might be next to you i don't like this scenario where we all go to disneyland together i like that part but we're all at disneyland together and then like jason says pair off who's my turkey buddy turkey tom who's a little turkey tom. I want the purple bite. I want a purple bite. Save me a purple bite. Save me a purple bite. Really clinging to a lot of phrases on this. The toms are the key.

The reason these are so big are they're from male turkeys, which are called toms. Your Thanksgiving turkey is a female turkey. It's a hen. You're doing this in a real strange way with your hands clasped together. It is strange. I never knew that. That's the solution. It's illegal to, they're not steroided.

Apparently there's regulations about steroiding these things up, but they exercise them a lot, so the legs get real big. Oh my God. Around the track. Around the track. That's so sad. Yeah, it's sad. Jeez, these jack turkeys.

They're jack turkeys. And I'm starting, I have been in grocery stores where they have like two wrapped turkey legs, like big turkey. Like you can make this at home. I watched a video. It's not that hard to make at home. I know someone who will do turkey legs for Thanksgiving. Okay.

Because like, I don't know, that makes sense to me because I don't, I'm not dying to have the other parts of a turkey. Yeah. I don't know, that makes sense to me because I'm not dying to have the other parts of a turkey. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that's better. I don't super look for it. I guess I appreciate it when I go home and there's turkey, but I don't think I would like it.

I don't think I would choose. I'm going to make the turkey this year. Yeah. Not interested. It's so hard to keep, you just have to keep basting it if you want it to be moist, if you want it to be. I like dark meat because it's less dry part of it. Yeah, sure.

Well, any meat we had growing up, my mom would cook it to the point of no moisture so there was no disease. Oh, my God. So we had, yeah. That's miserable. We would have, yeah, if we had chicken or something, it was like as dry as you can imagine. Oh, my God. So we had, yeah. It's miserable. We would have, yeah, if we had chicken or something, it was like as dry as you can imagine. Oh, God. But as we've learned, she's going to dispute this.

She will argue about this, though. I've made this comment for years now, and she doesn't have too much of a defense against it. There was a lot of salmonella scares in the 90s, so everyone just cooked the hell out of everything. And mad cow. Mad cow, yeah. Oh, I remember how out of everything and mad cow mad cow yeah oh I remember how stressed we were about mad cow

as a family but people yelled at us because we were wrong about how Y2K was a real thing yeah and we were brazen and dumb about that are we gonna like make fun of mad cow and then well mad cow was a problem I guess right I think it was a problem it felt like a

problem at the time no I don't think so it was fake mad cow was fake is what I'm saying Right, I think it was a problem. It felt like a problem at the time. No, I don't think so. It was fake. Mad Cow was fake is what I'm saying. It was like Dirty Fiat's death. He's out there. He's out there. It's a conspiracy. I had a friend who had roommates in college

or people in his fraternity or something that got swine flu and like had a really fun time while they had swine flu like they were quarantined and just chilled and and like i think ended up just smoking a lot of weed and were fine eventually this was their whatever they had like obviously it's possibly a very serious disease that has killed people but like these weird bros he got it and we're fine is that a chill time yeah it was like a movie yeah swine flu swine flu in the house that's very strange yeah i my yeah it's interesting to think about i mean swine flu was how many years ago i mean it still exists like 2007 or 8 or something like that yeah so like all i would be very interested to see the statistics

of what how many bros got it is what i'm saying did the population dwindles bros more than bros it latches onto their uh hats It latches onto their sports hats. When a cap is turned backwards. Yes. The virus because they're not looking. It's like behind them. Sales of beer making white people dance and stage 85 posters plummeted. This is only tangentially related.

My roommate in college used to play me uh the budweiser real men of genius oh my god campaigns that he had on mp3 you'd be like have you heard these what was real men of genius real men of genius like sing mr zamboni driver yeah it was like specific jobs the eyes so we can play hockey and like that yeah yeah and then they would do the jingle again and he had them all on mp3 i remember that's such a phase that i remember too like when i had like kazaa and like would try to be like the person who had like funny shit on his computer sure oh yeah were you did you have uh the uh the only gay eskimo yes yeah whatever that was a live performance on mad tv that was a weirdly omnipresent mp3 yeah

wow there's like if you like searched funny song or something maybe that's like somehow like it just called that or even you know like um like. Dynamite Hack, Boys in the Hood cover. God. Yeah. Yeah, that for sure. I don't think what else was in this category. Like a squirrel with like big nuts. That's still pretty good though.

All the Me First and the Gimme Gimme's albums, right? The Elmo like shooting someone or something. Did anyone? Elmo like cussing like someone doing an elmo impression where he like like had like a glock it's been a thoroughly embarrassing podcast this was the last gasp of like uh not the last because they're still on and and making tons of money it's not the last gasp at all. Morning radio DJs, I feel like now they're this weird little corner,

but that was their last gasp at relevancy maybe was their weird songs. They're like Monica No. 5, Bill Clinton, Mamba No. 5 parody. Those kinds of things really spiked on Kazaa and Audio Galaxy. What a time. I have a lot of my music that was on my

itunes still oh really it's been floating around wiped out like it's all been reset huh i'm trying to see if i can find something really great i probably won't this probably shouldn't even mention it but yeah i have a lot of i did that thing where you can upload your music i have apple music and then you can like pay 20 a month and it just uploads all of the things you had on your itunes into your cloud oh wow so i have like really messed some people up right because if people have like bootlegs or live record like and it couldn't match it like no well thematic emission uh i think it might have done that but but it should just upload it shouldn't like destroy it, but it should just upload. It shouldn't destroy it. Oh, okay. It should just upload it as a separate thing.

Because I have stuff I did that's uploaded. Oh, that went through. Okay. Yeah. Your music? Well, you're a touring musician, though. Well, sure. Comedy bits, bad comedy bits.

Oh, man. Is this all around? Is it in the cloud? A lot of it's in the cloud, yeah. Wow. we're not gonna do it here though i have to go through it first i i understand at least a pass of uh which we didn't allow you zach you've just been uh freewheeling with embarrassing shit that's okay no filter i feel like i deserve it yeah A few years of taste sin

What else on turkey legs? Nutritional value 720 calories a leg 720 36 grams of fat That's a lot right? That's a lot What's the salt content?

Does it say it on there? Let me check the notes When was the last time you had one a turkey leg was it in that i think it was this like last trip so maybe like two years ago i i mean like i think i haven't fully examined my desire to get them but i think i try to get end up getting one every time i go sure uh i don't know i definitely i'm wondering if i'll get one next time it has been such a fixture of every theme park experience for me like i have a very uh like my mom sent me this very cute picture of me when i'm like four holding a coke and a turkey leg and it's it's uh it's very sweet but it's also very disgusting sure well you were a kid yeah sure sure jason was last time you had

one hi not in a long time okay i don't think maybe high school but even then i feel like we were gravitating more towards like sit down meals or run and gun because i feel like the rest of the family would be like uh we want to eat a meal like we don't want to just walk and only eat meat there's a problem with it i mean you can't eat bread or a side dish or salt like i don't really dip a turkey leg in anything i think one time no you don't really dip it and it and it's like very unwieldy but like one time i went and i got a uh corn on the cob and a turkey leg i think you maybe it were there i think it was like our like people from our mod team went on it oh i remember that happening i don't think i ended up going on that trip but i know but that okay that's a good

you can two-hand that yeah it's still i mean when you need a napkin though, you're done. Like you need help from someone for sure. You do need some help. It's like ice cream when it melts. Like Edward Scissorhands. All of those foods, like the stands at Disneyland, you usually sell a turkey leg, corn on the cob, chimichanga. Yes. And all of those are meant to be portable and run and gun.

And I think I've ordered all of them. I think in the last few years, I gravitate more towards the like, I don't know. I've had the chimichanga more recently. The corn's all right if you just need, you know, a snack. I've never actually never done that at Disney, actually. The corn is good. How do you screw up corn, though? I'm sure there are theme parks that do.

It's just tough because you have to floss and then you're just like... Oh, that could screw you up for the rest of the day. I should... I realized when we went recently for Rise of the Resistance I should have done a turkey leg as research, but we were... At this point, I just forgot we were going to do this.

And I I'm now so I really have my Disneyland food down pat, which is like not really a full sitting lunch. But you do at some point you spread out a Ronto wrap and a bow from Tropical Hideaway. And I so like I don't I think i used to like worry about eating at disneyland or like i gotta go outside the park and now i can i know i can stay in the park and have those things and be upset i'd probably put corn dog in that rotation too now that i'm having those i still don't do corn dog i'm sure i've said it on the podcast before because i threw up after eating one when i was little and it's stuck in my head that they're bad. It's crazy how long that can stay with you. Yeah.

But I will declare, I mean, I will declare, I will, I will do it at Disneyland at a certain point. Yeah. We'll build a whole month long event out of it. And I will rise,

I will civico, I will rise to the challenge. The corn dog? Yeah. Yeah. I love the corn. That's probably the run and gun thing i've gravitated towards the most in recent years if you could invent a uh portable food for disney to sell what would it

be oh that's a great question yeah yeah that's i was gonna say um that i thought like that you know there's the bengal barbecue over in adventureland which i feel open i looked it up open in 1990 that is a much more portable version of this it's like skewers with different meats on it that's pretty good and it's like this is that that's the portable version of the turkey like because you also can vegetables you can get a bunch of roasted vegetables that's a very good option much much leaner meat yeah uh and And it's a nice little snack. So that already exists, at least the meat version of what you're asking. I always think Disneyland does fish well. I like a fancy fish at the fancier Disney restaurants.

So if they could bring that to a portable experience. And maybe, is there some... Imagine a snack that is a longer piece of fish like on a on a cone or on a stick and then surrounded by a little like row of french fries uh like like as if it's like a fish flower blossoming like something where it could all be held on the same fish and chips on a cone yeah wow yes oh that's a good idea and the food's just regular it's not some weird then it's Like something where it could all be held on the same cone. Fish and chips on a cone. Yeah. Wow. Yes. Oh, that's a good idea.

And the food's just regular. It's not some weird, then it's desertified. It's just fish, but can we arrange it portably? I'm picturing a teenager just eating shit, falling over with that. Stick pokes him in the eye. Oh, fuck. Dude, I'm weird. I know for a few years now, they've been selling a whole fried fish for Lunar New Year.

Whoa. Or like the line of food for that. But I think you have to pick it apart, you know. I was going to say you could go the other way and they should do a full fish version of like a turkey leg. That's just a full fish with the eyes and then you eat it like Heathcliff. Oh, yeah. Where you suck off the fish with the bones. The whole intact skeleton comes out of your mouth.

Yeah, exactly. So that's very Instagrammable. I would want them to really innovate and have something run and gone, like soup or cereal, something you cannot eat when walking easily. Soup or cereal, did you say? Soup or cereal.

I'm trying to think of something in a bowl that you eat with a spoon that's difficult to eat walking. I mean, you hear the walking talk, like that's a thing. What about cereal? That's like a Frito pie. What about cereal with a sippy cup lid?

But then how do you get the... It's a bigger opening. It's a bigger, but then you're tilting your head back. I feel like the liability of choking on cereal pieces. Maybe it's sort of just like connected to your face and sealed around your nose and mouth. It's like a Bane mask.

It's like Bane. Bane mask mixed with like a horse feeding bag. And that's very Instagrammable. It's very Instagrammable. Hashtag foodie brother. If I had to pick one, I just got back from Hawaii over the holidays, and I think they could do like a

cool like Moana ride tie-in that's like spam musubi or something. I think that would be good. It's still kind of gross to have like a little greasy cellophane wrapped thing. I've gotten it at Disneyland before. Oh, really? Every now and then one of the stands will have

like a tropical hideaway switches up. Like they have like a secret menu item. Sometimes it's a pork sandwich. Once it was spam, misubi. Wow. I don't know this. Wow. Yeah, I didn't know that.

Do you just go ask what's the secret thing? Sometimes it's displayed, and then sometimes it's secret, secret. But they usually have some sort of rotating option there. Do they have sushi anywhere in the parks? I don't think so. I feel like at Disney World, i had well i had sushi in epcot yeah it was not great california grill has a giant sushi menu okay and i'm sure the better restaurants yeah and we'll have appetizers but i don't think there's just in park sushi there but

that would be not a bad idea. A little in-park, because you can eat that relatively easy on the go. As long as it's not baking in the sun. Oh yeah, with mayo. Spicy mayo. In little Mickey ear shapes would be nice.

Stamp out, have a big piece of fish and stamp Mickey's head into it. Forgive me if you have, but have you been to DisneySea? Yes. Did they have a fish thing there? I'm sure they did. We had a couple.

The thing we kept eating was curry. They had a good curry in Frontierland there and in the Aladdin area in Agrabah. They had curry we ate. And I had like a sit-down fish meal that was like a full-on Japanese where there's 15 components to it and a great soup and a little salad

and lots of little dippings and toppings. So there's like great Japanese food around there. I don't know if there's a walk-around fish component, though. Gotcha. Yeah, that's a good question. Somebody else knows. Someone who's been there 25 times. Tell us.

Good place. It's a very good place. Highly recommended if you ever get out there. Well, there's... Yeah, I was just trying to think of... There's that tiger tail they have. Shandoo's tiger tail, but that's not. It's kind of like a bow. It's a bow.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. It's like an orange. You eat little, Shondoo is a, where is he there? He's a tiger from the Sinbad ride. A tiger and a little turban. Whoa, okay.

It's an original, it's basically like an original Disney movie ride that doesn't, the movie doesn't exist, but there's an original Al Mankin song. And anyway, Shondoo, you can eat his tail. He's the most adorable character you've ever seen and you can eat. Gotta eat that guy's tail. Yeah, yeah. So there's interesting stuff there as well. The turkey, so Thanksgiving from the website Delish, they state Thanksgiving, you average,

when you're making a Thanksgiving turkey, you average 1.25 pounds per person. These weigh 1.5 pounds, the turkey leg. But I don't think I eat that much turkey at Thanksgiving. I think I get a lot of sides and a couple slices of turkey. Sure. I would say this feels like, a turkey leg is the most dense part of a turkey. There's just like the huge cavern in the middle.

So like it is too much turkey for sure. Yeah, it's definitely a lot. Yeah. You'll probably walk it off. Walking a lot of Disney. You walk a lot of miles a day. Yeah, I mean, for sure sure as long as you're doing a whole day and you aren't eating multiple legs the most unnerving thing i encountered when reading

about this was the the times talk to someone from schlitterbahn the water park chain uh they sell turkey legs and they said that just cooking these causes more people. It's like the fajita effect to Chili's. The smell causes people to go, like not even I want a turkey leg, just, oh, I'm hungry. So the snack stands do see an increase if they're cooking these. But I have to say,

dragging one of these around a water park seems like a recipe for disaster, doesn't it? That's the most disgusting thing i can imagine i think that even i have my limits you can't bring it on the water slide can you well obviously i would think not but just if it's dripping and you're like half dressed you're gonna burn yourself and then just like some dumb ass is dropping their turkey leg in the water and then that water has had a turkey like you know like all of it's so gross it becomes soup yeah what percentage of the wave pool is turkey drippings oh god jason's thinking of this fantasy now is a wave pool of turkey drippings two percent dripping seven percent urine my

mirepoix i dropped my carrots celery and onions in onions in. Oh, what clumsy me. Wait, are you cooking yourself in this scenario? Oh, what? You are? Who's cooking? Something smells good. You're cooking everyone and yourself in the wave pool. Yeah.

Okay. You just want to eat like in a cartoon, like Zach said. That's different, though. This is cannibalism. Yeah. Even if you're not's different though this is cannibalism yeah even if you're not straight up eating the brain but you don't know it the cartoon the looney tunes didn't know it like they'd be be in the pot cooking stuff and they'd be like what smells good and then they realize oh no it's me it's me yeah but you just took out the part where it's a problem yeah this is what i'm saying i don't know it until the end but you do know

we're telling you what's going on you're in a stew being but you're baking in the hot texas sun someone accidentally spilled potatoes uh it's a lazy river uh my thought about turkey leg also is that it is grandfathered in now to being acceptable because like if they all of a sudden if it all of a sudden was like cow leg and i know you can eat legs of other animals if they were to introduce another type of leg right now people go what the hell yeah this is crazy turkey leg is definitely too crazy to be a new thing yeah so it's gonna survive as long as it's cultured like acceptable to eat meat i was i was eating a field a couple years ago with a friend of the podcast andrew grissom and he ordered frog legs

we were downtown and and hypothetically i was yeah, maybe I'd try it. And they put it in its fried and I picked it up and I was like, oh, my God, never. No, no, no. Whoa. What about Escargot? Would I eat it? Have you had it? No, I have not had it.

I'm not saying I wouldn't have. I'm just saying I touched it and it felt it just felt like in a leg. It felt too. It's too real. But then I was also like i just haven't grown up with this yeah yeah and i would as much as it's gross i would still feel comfortable holding a turkey's leg which of course what's the difference but i really had a visceral reaction to even picking it up and i was like i cannot yeah i like huge basket luckily or i don't know luckily

in quotes have the the disconnect with turkey legs or chicken legs or something where eating an amphibian just is an insane barrier in my mind that I just haven't crossed. It felt like its whole hips and leg, I could feel its body. It pretty easily snaps. Yeah, and I just

almost threw up a little bit. I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Was that even a thing? The old man of genius. The guy who throws up in his mouth a little bit. Hey, buddy, that's not even a thing. Now college kids just trade office waves. Right.

I think I have it right. Yeah, that's right. Dwight 2.Wave. What do you got? I was going to ask everyone's opinion. So turkey legs, again, have been merchandised to death at this point. What does everyone think of these food magnets? Anyone into these?

Okay, tell us what you're, yeah, go clockwise here. You got Mickey waffles. I think I always like to see a Mickey waffle. Mickey pretzel, that's fine. Donut with Mickey sprinkles, you're starting to lose the thread a little. Then Mickey ice cream bars I think are very iconic.

Then the turkey legs, and they've included in the magnet the greasy wax paper with Mickey ears on it. Is that what? The greasy wax paper is pulled way too high for my liking uh show me a little turkey leg guys yeah don't be such a prude look at the checkout that was gams zach would you put a turkey leg facsimile magnet on your refrigerator. Why not? Hold on. It's not like, I think a magnet's fine because it's not actually gross and dripping.

I think that's, I would do that for sure. Would you go with the air freshener they briefly sold? No. They did? Not at all. Jesus. Do they smell like turkey? I believe it smelled like a turkey leg.

Really? Yeah. Oh, can we find that on eBay? Let's's look yeah yeah give me a second but they had the uh we had did you have fisher price uh like i might because i guess my sister had it the fisher price fake food and like a fake fridge and we had all this like fake plastic meat okay from the fridge no oh yeah you've seen you know i think i never really had that or don't really remember having that but my niece and nephew have like have had that stuff recently or when they were like five you know eight years ago or whatever and like i can still and like see like a little chicken leg from a set like that and be like oh that looks

pretty good because it's a cartoon is he's like yeah yeah there's an appeal to that the uh and then the i always i i liked them but i always found the fake chicken mcnugget toy that they were toys fake you know i remember i'm talking about that transformed no well they had like a fireman's hat they were like people i guess yeah yeah all the professions the mcnuggets dressed as the village people they're cute but they still they had gotten the texture so close i I feel like, as a kid. I even kind of felt weird about it. I felt like the food is alive.

New in bag. Whoa. It looks like a photograph. It's shaped like a turkey leg. $10 on eBay. But then it's got a little cartoon turkey leg. Oh, the leg for you. Cartoon turkey leg. Oh, the leg's cute. Guy saying turkey leg scent.

He's cute. I like him. How can that fake turkey leg smell be good? It must be the grossest smell. Again, we were saying ham facsimiles are bizarre. Right, but Jason said that's his favorite smell on earth, is ham. It used to be.

Ham air fresheners anywhere? Oh, here's a waffle air freshener. That's probably more pleasant. That makes more sense. Yes, that's much better. But were there only a ham air freshener, so Jason could always say ham in the house. Ham in the house. Ham in the house.

Turkey leg on a sweatshirt. I mean, they put it on everything now. But as people like i mean people are trying to eat less meat i wonder if i wonder if the instagram ability uh kind of balances out like disney because disney's offering a lot more vegetarian stuff or imitation meat stuff i wonder like what that does to the turkey leg i'm sure there's scientists working on some sort of a fake meat turkey leg yeah there has to be the air freshener may have what do you think that person thinks of their job uh i think they have some sort of god complex yeah the power of god i would think yeah so they are wheeled they're like you were close i wonder if like i became that involved and

invested in science uh what i would assume i would be doing with my career and then what if if i would be satisfied i think like yeah maybe the the that is satisfying i don't know i in my head for a second i was like i don't know if they would enjoy being in that lane you mean like there's a i assume all scientists are in like one lab together there's one room where they're doing cancer research and then the next lab over this guy is trying to crack fake turkey leg exactly that can simulate the purple and the dripping and they like go they go to lunch together and they're like what are you working on he's like oh yeah well i'm working on the thing to make the white blood cells

kind of really react and kill the cancer cells. And he's like, oh, yeah, well, we perfected the purple today. The purple is now the exact same color as in real meat. You got the purple? Holy shit. Yeah, it's actually the cancer researchers who are like, God damn it, I want to be in the turkey leg room. That's so fun.

The carefree playboy lifestyle of big turkey men. Someday. Someday. You'll get the good assignment. Closing thoughts. Anything else you want to share about your fondness or at least putting up with turkey legs? You know, I think it'll be a sad day in some way

when the turkey leg is maybe not there anymore. It feels, you know, like very nostalgic to me. And as gross as it is, I think I'll keep getting it as long as I can. Sure. Just don't drip on those fast passes if you do another timeshare presentation. I'll have to go to another hour of a man flailing.

Well, I hope you can avoid this. And Zachary, you survived Podcast The Ride. Thanks for being here. That was a blast. Thanks for having me. This was so fun. Let's exit through the gift shop. Is there anything you'd like to plug?

Oh, gosh. You know, these days I'm doing some stuff on twitch at at zakoyama uh i'm all across all platforms at zakoyama and uh over on twitch i'm just playing some what am i playing sekiro right now i'm just you know playing games over there if that's your thing yeah sure neat um well you related video game would be nice in some regard yeah uh can you on twitch i've only a little bit familiar with it can you like play but also eat and then can they see you eating yeah you can have a like a lot of people do like a picture and picture thing so you can eat whatever you want yeah so maybe when this comes out you could be eating a giant turkey leg while you're playing.

Pick up a turkey leg. Go home. That's a subscriber goal. Yes. And then when you eat it, people will send you bits. Let's say if I had 50,000 subscribers,

I'll do that. Yeah. Thanks for the bits. Thanks for the bits, everyone. We're chomping down. Yeah. You dripped a drive home in a hickory-scented car

an hour back. Just holding it one-handed. That's your new gaming like persona to the turkey lips at dripping 50,000 subscribers I will change my handle to at dripping Zach

and I'll eat a turkey like with every stream and the people who subscribe thinking something else is going on yeah hey um what's going on whatever it is i'm in uh here's some bits uh wow okay and as as for us as always for more podcast the ride follow us on twitter instagram and facebook and for three bonus episodes every month sign up for podcast the Ride, the second gate at patreon.com slash podcast the ride.

There's a more even... This is a tried and true snack, but I wonder, is there for the second gate a deeper cut snack to do a whole ep about? Corn? Do you want all corn? Corn on the cob.

There's obviously ice cream and Mickey Bar, but that's not obscure. You're looking for something that's less... Yeah, I think so. Yeah. It seems like there's only four minutes. Have you done a bread bowls kind of thing? Ooh, we have not.

Bread bowls are pretty good. Yeah, that's a good call. Vegetable skewer from Bengal Barbecue. Each type of skewer gets its own episode you know what should actually get its own episode and it's not that obscure is the now defunct fried green tomato sandwich from the hungry bear restaurant that was good which was we would go and get it all the time lindsey loved it it was like we would do it and then they got rid of it and people were furious so it's still not that obscure but maybe there's a whole 90 minutes on that.

You might have gotten it. Yeah, that seems like the kind of thing we would do. Yeah. So maybe we should do it. Okay. So subscribe if you want to hear that, unless we bump that up to main feed because there is like...

The demand. ...Fried Green Tomato mega demand. Yeah. Until then, thanks for listening and hey, ham in the house. Ham in the house. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.

Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on facebook