Podcast: The Ride - Unlocked: Meet & Greet Gaston

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

Enjoy this sample of P:TR - The Second Gate. Find even more Second Gate episodes at Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Gastons have been meeting and greeting Disney guests for over a decade. What makes a Gaston great? What makes a Gaston funny? And could any PTR host play Gaston convincingly? (No) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Yeah! Welcome to Podcast The Ride, the second gate. The best podcast Patreon in all the land. And don't you deserve the best? I'm Scott Gardner. There's Mike Carlson.

Hello, I'm Mike Carlson, and I'm sure that's the only time you're going to hear the voice today. I won't promise it. Getting it out of the way now. There's no way. I don't feel like I need to do the voice Yes, you don't want to be sweaty Or desperate, oh no, there I am doing it again Jason Hi, I'm here too

Oh no, Jason got extra timid I got scared by the loud voices Oh no It's Jason Jason slash, I don't know, what's a fun Child character What's the like, child character? What's the most famous child character of all time? Oh.

Lilo? Yeah, Jason mixed with Lilo. That's what I think. Lilo's not a coward, though. What about Cindy Lou Who? Was that a Cindy Lou Who style voice, perhaps? Mr. Grinch? Whatever she says.

I don't know if any of these are the most famous child character of all time, though I'm struggling to come up with a replacement. Kevin McAllister. Oh, the most famous child character of all time, Peter Pan. The boy who doesn't grow up. But that wasn't a Peter Pan. That was more of like Little Michael. Yeah, the eighth most popular lost boy.

Yeah. Yeah, one way towards the back. He's not even a rabbit or a fox or what they wear on their heads. He's a turtle. I'll watch her flank. Or no, I'll watch her back. Oh, God, guys. I'm starting to think I should grow up.

I like the cut of your jib, kid. That's right. No more of this eternal kid. You're the least creepy of the bunch, kiddo. I don't think I want around this island anymore. I just want to send emails. Send an office and do email. That's right.

We vilified Peter Banning and his big big cell phone but i say get on the big cell phone start moving and shaking getting things done in this world yeah i just want to send emails is a really interesting it is kind of a good encapsulation of adults most of what being an adult is yeah yeah either hard labor or email job those are your two options right we chose email job i guess yeah email much closer to it what it is i'd say uh unless it is a performing job and that's what we're talking about today is a particular performing job and i don't think we've settled yet as we record it on what we're calling it right but it's you know what we were focusing on is the gaston face character in the parks or i don't know if we call it walk around gaston i don't

know if we call it meet and greet gaston there's versions of it right that's what we're doing i did meeting like i met and greeted him years ago. I think it's Gret. I think Gret is the last tense. You met and Gret him. You met and Gret, and then he beat the shit out of you. Yes. Beat the shit out of you.

Right, the shit. But then he walks around sometimes, too. So I think it depends. So it's like, I was going to also, part of me was like, oh like oh yeah they don't do this in disneyland so we'll call it walt disney world gaston or something and i'm like no they do do it in disneyland i've seen videos of it but i've never seen him in disneyland yeah and he's in the he's been in the shows perennially that's another way to experience gaston is in the beauty and the beast musical but that's not what this is i mean we're focusing i think on the particular type

that they started doing in 2012 with the new fantasyland expansion yeah where you can get in a line have a moment with guest on and uh you know who obviously is the the antagonist of beauty and the beast who is a very uh barrel chested egotist cheese ball sure and boy have they encapsulated the character really well in these uh meet and greet moments that you get to they have just gone full throttle and let these these fun park performers go nuts yes playing them because let me ask this though because you came up with the phrase off-brand doc brown do you think this is off-brand off-brand guest i don't because the rules change when you are moving mediums from animation to a live person i think what feels so weird about another doc brown walking around

is that we know that that's supposed to be christopher lloyd right um and also they get the wig so wrong so often yeah that's that's a separate aspect as opposed to this where i think the the wigs are immaculate the wardrobe is immaculate they get his uh they get the open chest right they get the muscles right yes and i also i christopher lloyd i guess is just so specific of a performer it's just you're always going to be like that doesn't really that's not quite the character yeah but i don't know there's something about gaston that i feel like so many different people can play him i've seen so many different videos of him being played by different people and i go ah that's good and that's good and that's right on and different flavors some people get you know some people get the look exactly right sometimes it's attitude sometimes it's voice yeah um but

it's always uh yeah i don't know it's become a fun open-ended assignment uh for performers to put their stamp on and i i don't want to sidetrack um and and what i'm going to mention is going to be old news by the time the listener is hearing this but it's it's impossible for me to ignore and i'm curious if it's the same for you guys because i guess what i'm asking is is it tough for you guys on this particular morning thursday april 11th to record this episode under the shadow of the surprise announcement of the death of american icon oj simpson i don't maybe you know to me it is a massive elephant in the room to you guys the elephant might not even be in the room but i i i need to we didn't even talk about it as small talk yeah on the way in to record i think i need to process a tiny bit sure on the gaston episode

specifically i do well and you know it tied together in my head, I think, because I think there are some similarities between Gaston and the dearly departed O.J. Simpson. You know, a strapping guy, an incredible physical specimen. Yes, huge, imposing, muscular, you know, lives among all of his totems of his achievements you know but also uh not great attitudes towards women uh you know what wants them to be uh subjugated and and domesticated and guest on also as we learn is uh i don't know if he doesn't get to do it in the film ultimately, but he certainly desires to murder.

Well, because a beast, of course, you're referring to Gaston's attempted murder of the beast. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He not only, you know, he's got the dark charisma of O.J. Simpson to where he can lead a group to, you know, to all want to do this terrible thing together. I mean, if you, maybe, you know,

the angle, if you would come in with more of like a here's Lucy guest star has passed away. That's more of what I'm like, well, now I'm ready. I feel like he, what is the,

I wonder what the most up your alley thing is. I mean, I've definitely seen OJ doing magic as he was by b arthur yeah and he was oh he was that's what i'm saying yeah yeah okay uh has this come up before and does this qualify as um uh ptr curse this might be the third time i've brought it up on the show actually i'm pretty sure i'd believe it pretty sure uh here's lucy tends to be that's just one of those like erasers for me here's lucy yeah well for the for the public i love lucy but youhuh here's lucy tends to be that's just one of those like erasers for me here's lucy yeah well for the for the public i love lucy but you throw here's in there and then i immediately

forget well i love lucy lucy show then here's lucy which ran for like seven years and it's full of more than the other more here's lucy's there might be yeah i actually don't know that off but but yeah jay is in the episode with ginger rogers right and they all make a line and they're like well i think i still got it and they all do a little dance that is right you're not making a joke huh that's real right no i am making a joke oh okay i don't know i believe it absolutely oj and ginger rogers except when did ginger rogers die that'd be my biggest question doesn't matter she was on here's lucy after she's dead you think you think a death is an obstacle to being booked on here's lucy here's also 1995 so she was alive

here's lucy uh you could be a ghost and appear on it that's something you people don't know so that's why i'm notable about the show is like it was the it was the first and only post-death appearance of many of the golden age of hollywood's greats and jason said that so confidently because I've seen the clip of O.J. and Here's Lucy. I've not seen the full episode. I didn't watch the full episode of Here's Lucy. I just said that because there was a clip that went around a while ago. Oh, where she's dancing with her daughter and Ginger Rogers. Ginger Rogers and Lucy LeVall and her daughter are dancing.

Yes. And the crowd is loving it. They're so excited to see the old gang doing a little dance. Sure, yeah. And I recently brought up the Jackie Gleason appearance with Jack Benny on the Here's Lucy clip that I just saw a couple weeks ago. OJ goes to speak. He's a guest speaker at a Beverly Hills hills chamber of commerce luncheon planned by lucy uh then there then he uh helps him get into a usc football game uh uh wow he talks about his

real life first wife marguerite and his kids in it wow which uh this website says gives it an eerie feel um but it all has an eerie feel now that we're now that we're talking about him having said goodbye to him sure um but uh anyway well well okay obviously we got to do this then all of we we we we have to go through all of this variety show appearances oh yeah yeah yeah send them off sure sure here uh here's lucy of course, I first became aware of in the gift shop for Lucy, a tribute. And there were all these DVDs. I love Lucy, Lucy show. And I was standing there.

I was like, what the fuck is this? Here's Lucy. I think it's funny. I bring up like the death of like one of the most memorable figures in history. And there's a little bit of interest in it, but Here's Lucy becomes... I'd like to talk about when I first saw Here's Lucy DVD. Well, you're hosting the show with two lunatics,

I hate to tell you. Well, I was trying to tie back to Lucy at Tribute. No, I'm not born with Jason. I'm ready to back to Lucy at Tribute. We weren't on Lucy at Tribute? Hey, Jason's right on my wavelength here. Yeah, amen, brother. All right, well then you,

I'm sorry I interrupted you. Do you have anything to say about the first time that Jason learned about Here's Lucy? No, he wasn't done with his important story yet. Were you not? Was there more story?

Oh, no. I mean, it was pretty much done. The back of the DVD is explained it was the show she made with her kids. Right, yes. So I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense. I understand now. Somebody calmed you down and said, no, no, read the back of the box. That makes

sense. I understand now. Yes. Before that, you were livid. You were starting you were foaming from the mouth. I was going on compute. You thought you were going to see. I only knew two. Lucy show. I don't know about. I'm not spending enough time with Mike Carlson, clearly. Gail Gordon was on this too.

I believe playing her brother. Not Mr. Mooney, her boss. By the way, Club 3 subscribers, get Gail. Just somebody suggest Gail Gordon as a topic for the next poll so that we can see it land right around 2%. Let's just watch it coast right in there. One of these days, I'm going to have a big victory with one of these,

and it's going to shock the nation. Well, that's why stay consistent with it, I think. And, you know, yeah, keep aiming in the same direction. Somebody pointed out the new Beetlejuice trailer. Beetlejuice says the juice is loose at the end of it yep um which yeah that's interesting yeah and now he was the oj sims nickname was the juice and now they obviously can't include this in the film but now oj could hang out with beetlejuice that's true yes they could do reshoots i suppose and do that

i mean they can't i mean more like in the word, if we believe that Beetlejuice is real. And we do. Yeah, yes, yes. And we do. Putting on daily graveyard reviews. Where does he live? Does he live in hell? What is Beetlejuice's afterlife?

That's a good question. There's probably a name for it that I don't remember. I haven't seen the movie in a long time. I like the movie. This movie also is going to be very serious. It's just very serious. It feels, you know, the tone is the... I mean, when I heard the serious Deo...

It was the serious Deo. One thing I never liked about Beetlejuice 1 is they took... They were so flippant about Deo, Daylight, Come, and Me Want to Go Home. But that's a bit, isn't it? Isn't that a joke? I don't know every real every trailer does serious versions of i thought that was a parody of every trailer doing i think you're giving them a lot of credit i'd like to believe that jason but i feel like i've seen it with dumber songs i have gone back and forth on it there's also the same like ecto one reveal dusty

pull away and it's the little town a little the same like you remember this thing when you were little here it is under a dusty claw a dusty blanket i don't remember if they did this but i i bet probably there was like a you know an eerie sounding six-year-old girl saying uninvisible man sleeping in your bed and then it gets dubstep that's another important thing about current trailers we have to do yeah yeah dubstep the 13 year old musical genre we have to slow down songs then dubstep them them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. I hope this never changes. This is trailers forever. Anyway, sidetrack us off the...

I just wanted to... It's on my mind. Sure, it just happened. This whole time we're recording, it's like I'm imagining a hulking OJ Simpson behind me. Right, right. Upset if I don't acknowledge him. Well, again, Jason and I want to remember the simpler times when he was dancing with ginger rogers and lucio ball and her children you know that's what that's the way we're thinking yeah a nice memory we mandela affected ourselves from now on it was he was on

the ginger rogers episode uh yeah sure and if that wasn't the case then we can ai it uh very easily but again you know i guess i oh i read the weirdest ai article about don knots yesterday that said don knots shot himself in the head on that ai prompts come up with an exact sentence that mike carlson would say yeah i am ai but literally the story was just it was like saying it was a history that don knots had pulled a gun a gun out on the stage at the Ed Sullivan show and shot himself in the head on live TV. And I'm like, this did not happen. I know. Sorry, wait.

Who said Don Knotts shot himself? This AI article I was reading yesterday. Claimed that. Don Knotts had killed himself on the Ed Sullivan show. Live on the air. I. Okay. okay well this is i was reading about out of control i agree don knots was alive in the 90s this isn't true unless he went back to the like i don't i don't exactly know how he died i don't think that he went to the David Letterman now hosting theater, the Ed Sullivan Theater, and killed himself there. I was reading this, and I'm like, it didn't say it was AI, but I assumed it was AI, unless there was a sick, twisted person trying to make people think that this happened to Don Knotts.

Is this close enough in your history you could say the name of the website? We can take a look. A website that is a source of AI Don Knotts articles. What do you think was the Google prompt that led you to an article that said Don Knotts killed himself? I think I was looking up with Don Knotts' death.

I think I was looking up... Well, Mike was looking at his favorite website. It's called ZergNet, and it's at the bottom of all websites and he's like wait a minute you were just calming yourself at the end of a long busy day with reminding yourself how don knots died i swear we'll talk about gaston we will but i am sure i do want to know to find i want to know the history i want to know the search that led you here and then what is this so that we can all not trust this website was it inside the magic.net i'm

looking the so far the first don knots the results i've had from yesterday is when i was looking up don knots as les calhoun his character from matlock where he would join the show later it was just andy griffith's neighbor and there's a like a compilation of less calhoun clips that i was watching uh-huh how many hours a day of your life are devoted to don knots yesterday 20 minutes or so 22 minutes perhaps um if you average that out some days it's more like 40 some days are tough you only get four okay here it is it's robot monkeys.net and so we can You only get four. Okay, here it is. It's RobotMonkeys.net. So we can't trust RobotMonkeys.net anymore? No. And then it said on June 30th, 1963,

comedic actor Don Knotts shot himself in the head with a.38 caliber revolver during the live airing of The Ed Sullivan Show. And I was like, that is not true. I know. I'm smart. I know what happened. And that did not happen. So then there's a whole, like, there's a decent amount of text here about this fake thing that didn't happen. Mm-hmm. So this is what you get up to when we aren't with you.

We need to record more episodes to try to stop you from going down these rabbit holes jason we need to start committing to six episodes a day to keep mike away from dangerous ends of the internet like robot monkeys this wasn't gonna come up this was for me i didn't tell anyone about this i may have sent andrew grissom the less calhoun compilation but other than that i wasn't gonna tell anybody about this this just organically has come up you know you're so embarrassed and upset that suddenly you found yourself talking about don knots's i'm not embarrassed i'm just explaining this was for me this was not i did not want to talk about this don't make me talk about it sing yeah like this is a real oh gosh

how embarrassed yeah there i get to talk about les calhoun don's famous character that was not uh uh the what's mr furley and then um barney we were almost on our way to a particularly tidy episode we almost got like the top of it so jay did really tight it was my fault i of course know that it was my fault oh wait but now i've looked at now i'm like was don any all right any results for don knots oj simpson i do is this real i'm looking at a photo of oj doing a uh stick up with a gun in 1980 at knott's berry farm oh my god? Is this photoshopped or is this real? Whoa. I don't know.

That's pre. Why would this be made up? I don't know. Well, why would the Ed Sullivan show be made up? Yeah, that's true. You think that's real? I don't know what to trust anymore. It's hard to know what to trust on the internet.

But unless you're, yeah, unless you're like a real don not scholar who really knows about his life like i kind of am an amateur scholar of don that's his life but you're not gonna be able to know we're like now we're now we're precariously in the zone of like having to declare false start which we could do but i think we can i think we can veer it back i think we can get there i just won't even try to do a tidy segue. No. That's just, well, you know, how about, you know, Don Knotts is not the physical specimen

that guest Don is. Okay, good. That's very good. No one fights like Don Knotts, no one. No one mugs like Don Knotts. No one stays on Mike Carlson's mind like don knots um okay 2012 new fantasy land expansion an area opens called the enchanted forest and this is a a bigger committed to beauty and the beast land within a mini land within an expansion um and i i kind of thought about how much uh real estate they gave

gaston oh yeah because you've got gaston's tavern now you can go into uh the bar where he uh has songs sung about himself and he uses antlers in all of his decorating uh there is a really fun statue out there um which is him kind of holding a bunch of barrels that water is pouring out of using the yeah yeah that's that's the fountain aspect he's like stepping on a very beleaguered lefu his constant companion in it um the plaque i think says that the statue is twice polished by LeFou. So this whole zone is very fun using his egotistical nature and the put-upon nature of LeFou. For a while, they had a variant of the turkey leg, which was a big pork shank you could get and eat like as if you were gaston eating a big like pork shank it doesn't appear that is on the menu anymore you think

the pork shank is gone i think the pork what is could i is there what's on the menu with that gaston's because i think there was like kind of a, they don't sell alcohol there, but you could get something that was like kind of like a kid's fun drink. Yeah, I thought it was funny. I do have this in front of me. Under the meal period snack. And then the section is labeled quick bites. So if you want a Quibi, go to Gaston's Tavern.

And they have the gray stuff cupcake, which you can also get at Disneyland, which is a pretty fun dessert. I did think it was weird that like, okay, so Gaston's Tavern, they've got to have some big meaty like shanks. That makes sense to me that they started there. But now it's a ham sandwich. You get a ham sandwich with chips. Ham sandwich or worm cinnamon roll.

Worm cinnamon roll. Or the cupcake. And then non-alcoholic fizzy apple juice, essentially, which is funny to imagine the machismo of that tavern in the movie. And in real life, you can go there and drink apple juice and have

a ham sandwich and chips. Uh-huh. Is this Jason's tavern? I was going to say, Jason, warm cinnamon roll and apple juice? You kidding me? That's like your heaven. Honestly, I never really saw any glowing reviews of the pork shank. Pork also works.

You never saw glowing reviews. I never saw, like, that, I don't think, caught on, like the turkey leg. Sure, sure. For one thing, I feel like that is very greasy. Yeah, it might not be. Well, I mean, turkey leg. I feel like they've engineered the turkey leg over time to be a tidier meal, even though it's not.

It's still, like, a giant thing. It's still a big old mess, yeah. You know what? I'm looking at it on DisneyFoodBlog.com, and what I'm looking at is pretty disgusting. It doesn't look good. I don't at it on DisneyFoodBlog.com, and what I'm looking at is pretty disgusting. It doesn't look good. I don't think it would. Yeah, no, it looks like very fatty and kind of disconcertingly white, and then the big

bone, unless this is AI-generated. Oh, yeah, maybe. I don't know what website. I can't research live on the air anymore. Right. I'm going to run into one of these monkey situations. Right. what is it monkey robot and there's wait a minute they said they served monkey shanks here once that can't be right right that was a much more robust menu yes when i went the first time i feel like it was more robust even and yeah they didn't yeah you run into the

problem of course where it's like a G-rated movie and you can't like serve beer in there, I guess. I'm trying to think of an example of a place where, is there anywhere that's like technically themed to a G-rated movie where they are selling alcohol at all? Like, is that the problem? Is there no precedent for that where? Isn't, I was going to say Mario. There's no alcohol in Mario Land, is there?

No alcohol in Mario. Oh, there isn't. I guess you're right. You can... Can't you get... In Toy Story Land... Minions. Minions, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Minions Cafe. You can get a beer in there or something? You can get some Tall Boys, yeah. Right across from Minions and Secret Life of Pets is that dreaded tavern where you can get hammered. A den of debauchery. A den of debauchery. Yeah, you can have a puppet.

You can have the puppet from Secret Life of Pets. The what? The puppy or puppet? The there is a there's a puppet sort of like the New York Street actors. Oh, there's one of the character live from Secret Life of Pets in those facades that old yelling. Oh, oh, they're just live. There's one of the characters from Secret Life, the pets in those facades that'll yell at you. Oh, okay. They do that? Yeah, you can get hammered and get yelled at by a puppet.

Yeah. Which is pretty fun. But is there a Disney example of that? Probably not, right? Toy Story. I think you can, yeah. You can get beer in Toy Story. In Toy Story Land?

Mm-hmm. In Woody's, like, lunchbox? Or is that just the stand? I forget. I think so? Mm-hmm. In Woody's, like, lunchbox? Or is that just the stand? I forget. I think so. I remember because it was brought up, like, as all things alcohol are. This was brought up years ago by Jason.

Like, and you can get beer in the Toy Story. It's always brought up as if, like, you can watch a live sex show in a theme park. It's always the tone. Oh, boy. Wait, so you'd be okay with that, Jason? Well, after dark, you know, if it was like an after hours event. Alcohol always scandalous. Live sex at a theme park.

This we're okay with. After 9 p.m. on the Great Movie Ride, they would switch one of the scenes out for just a porno. Or just like rotate it around. Or something. Yeah. And Great Movie Ride would now just have one scene that was a porno. Or just like rotate it around. Or something. Yeah. In Great Movie Ride, but now I just have one scene that was a porno. Wow.

Like Footlight Parade isn't there anymore. It's just a porno in its place. Oh, wait, sorry, sorry. The Great Spank Movie Ride. Okay, sure. Yeah, yeah. Well, even if they could do it

during hour, they should just have the Xenomorph has little mouth come out and little mouth says, come up and see me sometime. Oh, that when you say live sex show, that's what you mean. You want. Yeah.

Oh yeah. You just want a May West innuendo. Yeah. A May West innuendo. I don't know if I can keep doing the episode. I'm so aroused by that image. Come up and see me sometime, Big Boy. That's going to be in that new alien movie. I think that's actually a scene

in there. Whatever it's called. It's not. Oh, Romulus. Alien Romulus, I believe, is the new Alien movie. Is there a TV show coming? I've lost track of the Alien. If there's a famous movie, there's a TV show coming. It either was just canceled and they're doing a new one in two years or it is coming.

So I'm pretty sure there is like a Noah Hawley Alien show or something. They're doing a new one in two years or it is coming so i'm pretty sure there is like a noah holly alien show or something yeah they're doing they're doing a here's lucy uh like uh prequel where it takes six seasons to even get to lucy right thank you it will be so boring until but yeah gail gordon calls up black blood and then throws something in a river and that causes it causes lucy to be born oh yeah and then you see you see a little shape form and then it sprouts a little bit of red hair yeah so and you if you listen close i mean it's very like guttural animal but it sounds like i want to be in the show

um okay where are we? I don't know. Gaston's Tavern. This is a punchy one. Gaston's Tavern. Really? So, yeah, they could, I guess, because of the Toy Story precedent, they could have beer at Gaston's Tavern.

I think. Like, I don't know what. I don't know what the problem would be. Well, we're operating. Well, they have wine in the Beauty and the Beast restaurant. What am I even saying? Yeah, yeah. I think there actually may be many examples

of alcohol in G-rated movie places. Why wouldn't you have a big stein of some kind and serve beer in it? Because if Walt found out that there was, Walt's intention was Castle Park. If there is Castle, then alcohol can only be in three select places surrounding castle.

I guess it is just because it's in the Magic Kingdom and it's not walk around. It can't walk around. No, you have to be seated and you have to be served. So that's got to be what it is then. It's just that there's no seating at Gaston's Tavern and they don't want you roaming. Yeah. Like every other park where you're allowed to roam because i don't know you'll get it on because small world's too close by i guess like it's too you'll dump it you'll dump

the beer in the river the small world's drugged out naked guy is what they've been fearing the entire that's true yeah that was waltz waltz vision it's waltz actually saw all that in a vision with his last ounces of strength on his deathbed he drew exactly that naked guy and going into small and that's been in a vault at the studio like i don't know waltz saw something and i'm worried that one day it'll happen it's an apparition and we're gonna see it someday right and when that guy showed up on whatever he was on all of waltz's worst nightmares came true. And the hand came out of the, Walt's hand came out of the grave. I told you.

Big thumbs down. Right. Yeah, no, he went right back in. He just was like, I wanted to see. I'm going to be rolling down here. FYI. But he said the juice is loose well that's actually at gaston's tavern the juice is loose the apple juice the apple juice yeah so and if you just and if you like sugar highs then the

juice might get you oh yeah have you been have you been uh in there i think i just walked in didn't buy anything i just saw the antler room which is great um which i you know i like that they have as part of this expansion that they gave gaston a big footprint because i do like gaston i always liked him in the movie he's a great villain a fun villain yeah he turns so dark and murderous but before that he's a great love to hate kind of character uh a very funny blowhard that completely illustrates who bell is that she is not like the three girls who uh together swoon over guests who i guess were like they're like any one of us doesn't matter or all three at this i mean all three at the same time would be the ideal. Sure.

Yeah. But it shows you Bell's smarter than them. Right. Or has more refined taste. Sure. And the song in the movie is funny. It's still funny. It's kind of my favorite thing in the movie, even though I liked all of it.

Yes. I was like, oh, this is really good. He's really funny. It's always been very quotable to me. I don't remember what the LeFou line is leading up to. I know. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a great voice.

Yes. It's a wonderful bellow. It's like in the wheelhouse I like to stay in. He's one of the great bellowers. And it's funny. I mean, such a, like, it's funny. I mean, I guess, what, it comes out in 91? And it's like, I'm surprised it actually took them that long to put him in the park because it's such a fun character to do.

And even still, like, I'm surprised he's not in there more. I'm surprised I haven't run into him in Disneyland because it seems like such a popular thing. Yeah. Because all these posts generally go viral, I not all but some of them well and we're also we're describing a kind of old phenomenon i feel like 20 2014 15 seemingly was the time where these uh improvised interactions and meet and greets had a pretty big viral footprint and the view counts on some of these are still immensely high right and deservedly so there seems to be i mean they're all really funny but there's one guy who really recurs and he's not exactly in that like in that particular voice range but he but the like he does just have this like blow hard whoa what the fuck he's kind of

like he's almost like a situation kind of guy sure yeah it's really what gaston is the original situation from jersey shore um but boy is he fun because it's the same guy who has the um i think there's a i think there's a push-up contest yes situation where somebody challenges him to do push-ups and i think this is the assumption look the muscles are fake the muscles in the suit are padded so you might think maybe the guy's weaker under there but he boy he did go for it with no preparation yeah yeah this was faked or something but he ends up going uh one arm with it and the other guy crumbles pretty quickly yeah it almost feels like too perfect in a way if it's completely impromptu i don't know i'm not accusing anybody of anything i'm just it almost feels like planned in the the perfect way that it plays out where

gaston embarrasses this guy right it's really good i saw a couple videos like that. I think what it is, is a lot of people can't do very many push-ups. Well, sure. And Gaston can probably do like 20 push-ups. Oh, so you're saying maybe he's not like the strong man you might think he is. I think he needs to be. He's just in average shape versus the average theme parkour. Well, I think he probably needs to be pretty fit when they're casting. But I think they're like, how many push-ups can you do?

What flex? Could I, with the muscle suit, I mean, maybe I've aged out of it, but could I do it with the muscle suit? Could I play Gaston? Do you think I'm too? Because I think height is a big thing, too. Height's a big part of it. But would it look, it might just look too strange.

It'd be like, why is Gaston so old? And why his muscles don't even, they certainly aren't real. I was going to say, why does Gaston seem so youthful? Like, why is Gaston so young? Why is he 13? He might be 13. That's how youthful he is. I feel like, can you even work when you're that young?

Whoa, this Gaston gave me a ride today and his shuffle went right from craig finn to heim it was the reverse oh excuse me heim to craig finn yeah well heim at least they're in their 30s craig finn is in his 50s i suppose so yeah so at least i'm like 10 years hip it turns a cool music well of cool music. Well, thank you for talking. Also from the 2010s. Sure, yeah. Wait, so you're, okay, you're giving Mike credit for liking cool music from the 2010s

after a 10-minute stint about Don Knotts. Look, we all contain multitudes. I contain multitudes. I contain multitudes. I love Haim. Love watching SD play the bass. Well well you should have pited me down ed uh so yeah i was like ah i wonder obviously these probably people are like 27 28 but i do have the question of like how fit everybody is and i don't they don't probably want i doubt they want gaston

doing push-ups constantly nor do i think the performer gaston probably wants to constantly be doing push-up challenges yeah yeah so uh no if you're not going to go viral then what's the point right because there was all the like and i don't there's i feel like i've seen this disputed but there was that rumor for many years and there's pictures maybe there's one picture of that you would say andy's coming to woody and jesse and they would fall over as in like the joke and toy story when they would right the toys would just flop down when there would be a human yeah and then people were like yeah if this happened or if this was happening regularly they don't want like disney does not want this it's messing up

the suits it's making them dirty it's dangerous yeah yeah so that if it did happen it was short lived or there were certain performers who tried it and it was like no this is becoming like don't yell fire in a crowded building exactly don't yell andy it's not worth the kid yeah there's free speech but then there's yelling andy at a crowded toy story character gathering well that's you know if you if the trick that people don't talk about is if you're at a crowded toy story gathering and you yell fire everyone will scatter it'll just run in different directions start freaking out that is wild you can do you can create a lot of pandemonium they should have a thing in the new toy story when a human tricks

them all because they're so like they never get tricked by humans, I feel like. Like sometimes they'll be like a little, like they'll mess up a little bit. But you would think once in a while, like Potato Head would just be walking and forget. Or like not hear that the human walked in. And you'd be like, oh. It would have happened once. They're not all like so like mentally sharp. Yeah.

That's true true i bet you could well uh this is tough i was gonna say but you could catch some of them in a big net but that'd probably get taken at security you could catch the toy story yeah you could catch the toy yeah you get them in a big net and they're like sir you can't bring your big net in here it has to stay in that locker outside the gate you guys are hoping that toy story 5 is about somebody who cracked the code yeah i saw toys come to life and i'm gonna prove it right it's gonna out the world of toys to everyone yes that's what i would like it to be about it's probably gonna be about the toys in like some situation where they're in like the

human world and they have to like climb a big big ladder and they can't because they're small. And that's what they're all about, basically. But this one is mostly going to be about a human character who's being driven mad because he saw Potato Head walking across the floor for two seconds. I mean, what I flashed to was Mr. Potato Head's caught. And at first I thought, oh, then is he scared? The jig is up.

Now they know that we're alive but i think the toys are smarter than that and how do they maintain these rules i think uh potato head needs to make sure whoever saw him never leaves that room potato heads gotta kill him i well which part of his got a you know uh you know he can put a bunch of supplies in his back compartment so i think you just you just like a thin little wire and he can just like hop around go jump up a guy behind the guy's neck and like someone yeah you didn't see nothing and you'll never see nothing again i was gonna say the way or one of his body parts do one of them have like a point on it uh well they all do a little bit you know the mustache has the little like connector piece so uh yeah i think i think yeah could potato head quickly in an emergency

fashion his mustache into a shank i'd i'd say so well that's a good idea to survive that's a good idea too yeah potato had not owned for subtlety but he can just wait for that person to be sleeping they open their mouth he just drops an ear down there, clogs the airways. Yeah. Smart. You know? Smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then waits for the body to go to the coroner, follows him to that. Like, once they, like, oh, it was this. Must have been this ear, right? Put this aside as evidence. Then he can grab it, put it back. No need to ever replace that ear. The silent killer, Mr. Potato Head.

Yeah. Although he probably makes a lot of noise with all that shit in his butt, like clonk, clonk, clonking around. If you have that much shit in your butt, you're going to make a lot of noise. You're going to make a lot of clatter. You put a handkerchief in there or something to soften. Yeah, it's when you push it all to the side. When you're moving to a new apartment or a house and you have a bunch of glassware, you've got to stuff it full of paper or newspaper. So he's got to do that in his butt.

Cushion your fragiles. Here's a good take. You've got to cushion your fragiles. For Toy Story 5, Mr. Potato Head, or any of the toys, tries to call for help, but all the cell phones are touchscreen nowadays, so his little plastic hand just keeps hitting the screen. Oh, that's pretty good oh yeah because they operated a phone in three but now every now they need your fingerprints

they need a face scan that's a good bit yeah my my pitch real for for my pitch real for toy story five uh toy story versus small soldiers yeah we bring the small soldiers in yeah fight i think it's time yes to bring these equal icons together yep that's what i think uh i think that i would want to play gaston everybody always says this quite like what's the thing you would want to do would you want to be on the haunted mansion would you want to work on tower of terror because you get to be a little creepy you get to be weird this gaston does seem like it's the most fun absolutely this seems like i mean maybe maybe tiring because you got to exert a lot of energy but this seems fun to do well it seems like the quickest path in especially disney theme parks to hard funny that's what i think you watch a lot of these videos and it is genuinely very

funny there's a lot of like angles to work there's there's the ego and the uh out flexing people uh even though the muscles are are stupidly fake right you get to do a little funny fake chauvinism i mean in the really the the most viral of the videos he a guest on gets into it with a little girl who is really challenging to him. Yeah. And saying, the beast is going to beat you. You're not going to win. The beast is going to win the race. And he gives it back. Although, I mean, the little girl, I think, like, clearly wins the interaction.

It's pretty unbelievable. Yeah. But his comebacks are funny, too, in that he's saying to a little girl, like, go in the kitchen. Get in the kitchen. Mom, keep her in the kitchen where she belongs yeah it is funny that they're like it feels like almost edgy for disney parks to like to do uh uh fake chauvinism you know yes like gentle roast battle like gentle roast material

yeah um i yeah it's like a really good spot for just like fast talking, fast thinking, funny, blowhard guys. And I guess if you're asking, do you think you have what it takes to be one of those? Yeah. What's the biggest roadblock to you? It's okay. You got the, you got the stature and I think you put on the muscle suit and you're okay. I think I'm okay.

I mean, I think, I don't know that I'm necessarily, people would be like, oh, look, is that Gaston's dad or something? I don't know if that, like, it's there. Keep him up. Facially there. You put on the wig. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you might be a little older than the age range they're looking for at this point,

but. Well, if I get fillers in my face before I do it or a little bit of Botox or something, perhaps it would just help to create the illusion that I'm more of the original Gaston's age. You know what I'm saying? More fillers, Mike. You can't do anymore. You're going to get sick. Hey, Jason, stop talking about that.

That was a joke I made. I don't have fillers already. Wouldn't it be funny if I, I don't know, injected hormones, if, if I put hormones in my face. Stem cells and shot right into my optic. You're always bringing up Sylvester Stallone and how funny it is that he looks the way he looks. Isn't that weird? Boy, I would never do anything.

I would never look up the specific brands of everything he does. The type of HGH he's on? Yeah. I would never do that. You're just trying, we know the Tulsa King, but isn't it time for a Tulsa Prince? I'm sure we're going to go, I was like, is that going to become Burbank King? But you kept Tulsa and made it Prince.

Yeah, well, he's going to be the long lost son. Because I'm younger than the Tulsa King. I assume that's what he was going for. Jason is the Burbank Prince, first of all. Let's be honest. This is the man here. He's been that way, he's been to burbank prince for 15 years well this is what was in my head because i was anticipating some of this like could any of us be

i think we all could be on honestly well i mean what what occurred to me about who's in the room um you know within this room there is i would say proportions similar to gaston and lefou yeah i knew that was coming yeah but the but the the flip of it is that at least in terms of our real personal dynamics it's kind of a reverse because it's the tall one who's obsessed with the short one it is an inverse that's true you're 100 correct about that i'm i would be more than willing to play lefou if jason was guest on LeFou. Well, that's true. You're 100% correct about that. I would be more than willing to play LeFou if Jason was guest on. I'm willing to do it right now if we want to do a little play acting. That'd be great. Oh, should we go to the Bob's Big Boy, Jason?

What do you think? I was already there for breakfast. Oh, I know, but I'll pay for your lunch. What do you think? Let's go to Coral Cafe, a different diner in Burbank. Oh, okay. Are you going to get the same meal you had for breakfast? Yes, I am.

Okay. Of course, Mr. Jason. Oh, gosh. Jason's so great, isn't he? Don't you think he's like the best? These eggs are over hard. Send them back, LeFou. I ask for over medium.

Okay. Over hard. Is that even a real? What does that even mean? I just always called it a fried egg, but I heard someone ask, the waiter asked, do you want it over easy, over medium, over hard? Okay, well, Mr. Jason, Jay Stone, Jay Stone, I want these over hard, Mr. Diner Man. No, I don't want them over hard.

Oh, you want them over easy. I want them, I want a firm yolk, but a little bit of yolk. Jay Stone wants a firm yolk. That's one of the trademarks of his general eggs. But I want a little bit of goo. Okay, he wants a little bit of goo on his eggs. Jay Stone sometimes would have raw eggs, but he started throwing up too much from them.

And now he has very specific specifications that he wants his eggs. The guy who ordered the five dozen over hard eggs is sending them back? You cleared out Big Boy for the day. He misspoke. We don't have any more eggs. We didn't have this problem

with the Buca di Peppo last night. They knew exactly what Jay Stone meant. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah the way the that would be like uh jay stone isn't it uh i thought it was beppo not pep no it's pepo oh anything you say i mean it's pepo of course of course i'm always saying it's pepo anything you say boss more giant dry dry dry meatballs dry meatballs, please. Is it hot? Oh, Jay Stone, is it hot dog day at your dry cleaners yet? No, that's Friday, you fool. How many times do I have to tell you that?

Well, can we go to a different dry cleaner and I'll make you hot dogs and bring them and you can eat them while we watch the dry cleaning take place? Make sure they take competitors' coupons. Oh, of course, Jay Stone. I'll do my research. We'll know. They'll just be like Milton Eady's. I swear.

They'll take the coupons. Dry cleaner to the stars. I know what they are, of course. You're one of the biggest stars here. Yes, of course. Milton Eady's dry cleaners to the stars. They are extremely famous. Yes, of course.

7-3-65. How many dry cleaners can brag about that? Yes, we know. You've said it more than five times on the podcast. That's for sure, Jayston. You brought it up, boy. I know I did. You're right. Oh, gosh. You're the greatest. You're right. Talk about your

loud shoes during your school plays again. No, we haven't heard that one before. It gets more interesting every time, Jay Stone. They're at least too size, too big. Yeah, I love it. They're at least too size, too big. No, every time, the story grows

more color. It's amazing, Jay Stone. This is a great character. Suddenly, we got dueling. The Burbank Prince, Jay Stone. You're so commanding you pretty you uh turn anyone around you into a lefou wow um wow wow all right well this is the you know i think that just goes to show you with a little bit a little bit more confidence a little bit more swagger you could get us carrying around bags of of-go giant buca de beppo meatballs yeah i mean i came back another batch here you go boys oh uh what is this 70 pounds oh i'm gonna have to

start wearing pouring somebody's on my head it's cracking my vertebrae in my back but it's okay jay stone i'll carry it for you. No problem. I'll stand in the Voodoo Donuts line for an hour. No problem. I'll buy you whatever you want. Oh, better. I've got windy tuna sandwiches to eat.

And then I'll go up and I'll check the firehouse subs for pieces of plastic before you eat it. Don't worry. I'll pull the plastic out for you and save it and put it to the side so you can take pictures of it for later. For content. Oh, I'll personally thank them

for all the money they donate as well on your behalf. Don't worry. First responders. You're right. That.0025% that the Firehouse Subs donates

does outweigh the plastic that they put in their sandwiches. This is not far from... I don't think the pickle blew away because of... I don't think

the pickle blew away in the wind. It was your mighty breath, Jayston. Just exhaling makes a tidal wave of air.

You laughed and it pushed your pickle away. Go get more pickles to blow away. The reason city food is so windy up here is when you exhale. Everyone's wigs are blowing off up here, Jay Stone. Because of how mighty your lungs are.

Blowing off CityWalk wigs is a new... Everyone's wig is blowing off at CityWalk. They got a wig catcher that they got to collect them at the end of the day. Like it's a roller coaster where people will take their hats off. This is not so far from my life with Jason, I think. Well, that's what I was thinking. That's your point. I do think that you, at the drop of a hat, to cheer up your friend, would get a whole bar to sing him a song.

Oh, I would love to. Yes, of course. Yes. Yes. And a made-up song about him. That's right. In thinking about this, I did have the lyrics in my pocket. Oh, good.

No one sleeps like Jay Stahn. No one's cheap like Jay Stahn. No one's references are as oblique as Jayston. Can't you see he's the heart of the show? That's true. Now, in all fairness, Mike did talk about Tulsa King a lot a while ago. What do you mean?

I feel like you get taught, didn't you? I was saying maybe that was my in with the Yellowstone verse. You were before it came out. You were kind of like, no, I'm a little excited.

I think Tulsa King might be the way and then it didn't come out to kind of universal terrible reviews. No one likes it. There's a controversy

that Stallone was banishing ugly extras from the set. I believe that's in the last couple weeks. I never watched a frame of it. Not because I Not like I knew

What was happening I just Did not happen Did not watch it Yes no I certainly brought up Tulsa King first Yes that's correct

But I have Have I mentioned I think somewhere On a computer I have An intro video For a never shot

Like I don't know Web series or a YouTube short we're going to do called Jason Sheridan's Burbank oh really where I put in like Kenny Loggins I'm all right and it was just like piece like pictures of Burbank and it said Jason Sheridan's Burbank and they like can't the title like flew in like it's a and what was that what was that gonna be like a fun travel show where Jason takes you around to Burbank and all the sights and sounds. Never happened. But I have the intro video for it somewhere. You're going to whet the viewers, the listeners' appetite for this.

Well, some of them are going to pull off to the side of the road in anticipation of waiting for me to find this and post it. I thought you meant if they were in Burbank, they were going to pull off the side of the road and look around a little. Well, if you're in Burbank, I would recommend that in general. Just pull off to the side of the road and see Milton Eadys and get a hot dog if it's hot dog day. Yeah. So where are you? Wait, where are you going on Jason Sheridan's Burbank besides famous Milton Eadys and hot dogs?

Oh, go to Chili John's, you know. Go to. I think the pitch was just honestly,'s like it's just gonna be kind of real it's just gonna be like his favorite places sure yeah it was just a like um there wasn't any grand comedy idea behind it yeah right yes yeah hey you know what let's let's save you know the the little riffs and tears for this show right i think the listener i think there are a lot of listeners who would like to see a joke free jason sheridan tour of burbank show i agree you can point out you know how like the the getting in and out of the empire center can be a little difficult here's my trick yeah and you don't want

to find yourself turning left over by the krispy kreme you can did you know you can pull out near the staples toward the hotel and you can still go light is less busy yeah but not even light oh hold on here you can actually pull out more closer by the hotels and avoid that light altogether and there's still a way out onto the main street that is a lot less traffic yeah how about that they change the on ramps and off ramps of the freeway so you got to be careful well that's didn't they do that a while ago? Yeah, they did a while ago. Well, it took years, but they did it a while ago. That would have been a thing you would have said a couple years

ago on this hypothetical show. Yeah, yeah. Another good point, Jay Stone. That's right. No, it still applies. People should know the on and off ramp history, Jay Stone. Oh, yeah. Did they get rid of your Mediterranean place over there jay starr

there is but three more took its place don't worry okay good i still need to get pita bread while i shop at target say jay starr was it hard working in post-production or was it easy it just kind of sucked with more tails tell us about what kind of marker you used on the tapes china markers please can i i don't want to beg you but could i have another china marker just on no it makes me felt all right that's fine fair enough how many how many feet was indulgent to ask how many feet away were you from the hometown buffet, Jason, when you worked there? A block or two.

Okay. Not specific feet, not my question, but close. Couple hundred, I don't know. I guess I don't know what a block is in feet. I'm sorry, I'm stupid, unlike you, Jason. My book learning was not very good. I didn't afford college. And I'm not a self-starter when it comes to learning.

Mike Fu. Mike Fu, what would be my name? I'm fine with that. Carl Fu. Le Carl. Le Carl sounds too cool. Le Michael. Le Michael.

That also sounds cool. These are all too cool, I it's just i'm spotting cool stuff sorry mike foo it's mike foo that's just that's just the guy who listens to heim a cool guy who just naturally kind of comes up with cool sounding things what can i say mike foo is the jason sick of fan the cool heim fan okay who also talks about don knots but contains multitudes right that's that's le carl le carl knows who troy savann is damn yeah damn wow okay uh did we remotely do the premise of the episode there there was guest on, technically. Yeah. Do we properly tribute these? Look, we mentioned the things.

There was one with a little girl, and that was good. There was another one where, this one was from Disneyland, where Beauty and the Beast are walking, and Gaston follows them for a long time. Oh, yeah, I think I saw that one. They walk all the way to the small world exit, where the nude guy was taken away, in fact. Right, sure. small world exit where the nude is the nude guy was taken away in fact uh and and my favorite

part of that is that they pass by the monorail and gaston says what what what is that thing some kind of metallic snake that your father built great great. There's an inside edition clip where, like, a woman was at Disneyland or Disney World. She went on a trip because her boyfriend had broken up with her. And she yelled at, like, Gaston walking around, like, Gaston, I'm single. My boyfriend dumped me. And he says something like, I'm looking for the most beautiful girl in the land so he again a gentle ribbing a gentle roast that's pretty harsh that's a little harsh that's the well i mean i guess you could also interpret that though he's saying like you're

beautiful don't worry i'm but i'm looking for 10 more beauty he's got impossible standards giving him a lot of... That's actually the only other point I was even going to make, is that there is a little thread in the needle on this, of like, you're doing improv, you're interacting with people, and this

character seems to have the most freedom of all the characters. You've seen Cruella de Vel, I've seen the performers do her, and it's fun, and you know basically everything's like puppies this what but but with gaston you're talking a true villain he's supposed to be a chauvinist like there's some there's traps to fall into if you're doing the character as well yeah so there is like you got to have a couple filters on in your brain you got to clean some stuff up yeah yeah you can't be so because even saying like go back to the kitchen is a little bit like sure for disney if you don't understand

the bit it's certainly not we don't there's nothing bill and ted show level happening with cast on in these clips no yeah yeah but walk her up i say there's a terrible scourge headed for this country it's called the second biden administration it'll kill every man woman and child because you know of uh migrants coming in from across the border they call them what did you pay for that coca-cola ten dollars we're all going to starve to death at that rate. Don't you see? It's possible that it could devolve into that if you were in the right headspace. There's only one man stronger than me.

His name is Donald Trump. I would never do push-ups in his presence. He could easily do 1,005 minutes. I stormed to the White House looking for the beast known as Mike Pence. What do you mean? No one was in prison for multiple years and I'm freshly out and now back to my tavern.

We must kill the election thief. We've got to hang him. The man. Use your wires, use your bombs. The man who brought the absentee ballots in Arizona at midnight. We must take him and murder him.

What do you mean a Georgia election official is suing Gaston? Nothing I did was illegal. That was, by the way, very similar to Gail Gordon delivery right there. Yeah. And he brought it back around. You finally brought it back to Lucia Tribute,

something we're always trying to do. Let's go, boys, to the Capitol. I'll be right there with you. That is funny, because if he sent everybody to the castle and then didn't go, of course it's great that he gets a big fight with, you know, he needs to culminate in a big fight with the beast,

but it would be great if like, do-do-do, all right, well, ah, some peace and quiet at the tavern. You know, it's fun when it's full of people, but it's fun when I could just raid the shelves myself. Oh, they'll kill the beast, probably. I'll assume the job's done. Time to do a deep cleaning.

It's so satisfying. Now that's deep cleaning. It's so satisfying. Now that's Jayston. That's Jayston. Yes. Get me a Swiffer. I enjoy. Swiffer wet and Swiffer dry. Both Swiffers.

Wow. Two gallons for one at CVS. No one scrubs like Gaston. No one does the Marie Kondo philosophy thing to get rid of things like Gaston. You know, there's a lot of legitimate criticisms you can level at her methods. No one does laundry for three days straight like Gaston. No one clears the schedule for laundry like Gaston. Are you crazy?

I can't go out. I've got laundry to do in two days time. I'm taking a day trip to San Diego. And I have to be prepared. I've hunkered down for 10 hours in my research fort. Then laundry. A big episode on myself to do for Podcast The Ride.

My job as a theme park journalist. Of course, Jayston. Throw that ponytail out, I think is what people... It's time for a new look. Oh, yeah. Please. I am due for a haircut.

No, you're not. Not anymore, you're not not anymore you're not no throw it out i want to see your locks jace stallion that is a different that's a different type of little boy jason could be yeah like is a is a i was gonna say turn of the century but i mean turn of the 19th century oh that's true little boy with with ponytail and little bow right that's true yeah you could do that. Sure. Well, it's more like Little Lord Fauntleroy. Yeah. Right. Which is another one of the many faces of Sheridan,

Jason Sheridan. A future Halloween, Jason being the painting blue, the blue boy. I would really enjoy. Okay, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So kudos to the performers because I do feel like I would have a lot of fun doing this but i feel like in like minute i don't know seven of like a of a pretty like back and forth improv

with some guy challenging me i would like call him a dickhead or something accidentally yeah yeah like oh fuck you're um so i'm really sorry. Say, drop trow. I bet you've got a tiny car. No one's filming this one, right? Hey, not everything has to go to the internet, right? Hey, this is between all of you and me. Hey, we're all just having fun. Why don't I give you some tickets for free $10 Cokes?

Yeah, they have to give Gaston a couple like tickets or like fast passes that he hands out when he says something offensive. Okay. So raise your hand. If I called you a fucking pussy. Oh, that's a lot. Really? All of you kids I did.

I'm sorry. I kind of black out during these sessions. All right. I have to Gaston us to talk to's supervisor to get more complimentary fast passes. I can write you all some really quick, but I don't know if they'll honor those. Sorry, little girl. Handwritten ones might not fly.

Sorry, little girl. I'm sorry I said your father's a coward and your mother's a whore. I apologize. How would you like to meet Peter Pan pan the first half of the day is the regular meet and greet line for him and then the second half is if you uh want an apology from him on make some and the character and the guy auto character well i'm really so sorry uh when i entered the area and i said why are we all just sucking our own dicks around here i really

apologize for that and have you seen um have you seen a movie called Jim and Andy? Well, that's a documentary that shows you how Jim Carrey really lost himself playing a character. And what can I say? That's what I do for an hour to 75-minute shifts every day. It's not me. I'm not even there. I become Gaston. Yes.

So when I said, hey, sweetheart, why don't you grind up on a real man? I shouldn't have said that. That was in character. I didn't mean to insult your meek boyfriend. I'm so sorry. When I said you're the ugliest girl in town to your seven-year-old daughter. Well, I didn't. See, I misspoke.

Yeah. Gaston did it. And here, now you can skip the line at the seven dwarves mine train because of it when i when i took your elderly father who's helping taking care of your kids on the when i dragged him hair first over to the drinking fountain and uh shoved more water in his mouth than he could handle um again not i why do i keep saying that when guests dawned and when i pretend excuse me when i pretend pretended that uh your service dog was the beast and i attacked it i didn't mean to do that and i hope the dog will be fine but because of that

here's a free front of the line pass to the dumbo ride i I'm sorry I gave your grandmother the Undertaker's tombstone pile driver and then crossed my eyes and stuck my tongue out like the Undertaker. Here is a light up bubble wand. In retrospect,

Gaston should not have cracked his daily five dozen eggs and made you eat them raw one at a time in front of him on off the ground i am here is it here is a fast pass uh here's a front of the line pass for the people mover i know there's not usually a line but sometimes there's a little delay you could get past like six people with that. Pretty good. Little boy, I am sorry that you're yelling.

You'll never defeat the beast. Got me so angry. I made you smoke a whole pack of cigarettes. And frankly, I'm sorry to everyone who was in the line who ended up having to wait an extra hour while I did these methodical punishments. While Gaston did methodical punishments. Hopefully those were interesting to watch too, weren't they? Were you not entertained? Were you not entertained?

It gets to you sometimes. And I think I will be forced to do just like Pluto or Chippendale next week. I'm going to be. Jobs where I can shut up. I'm going to be... Jobs where I can shut up. I'm going to be Pluto from now on, so none of this will happen again. And Pluto is going to keep his tongue in appropriate places. He will not ever lick anything inappropriate.

Security, we have another Pluto beating happening. We need to tackle the Pluto. Pluto is a six, seven, nine, which is, of course, when Pluto wraps his tongue around a small child's neck, ties it tightly, and runs away with the kid

dangling from his mouth. Pluto will not stop doing push-ups and screaming. I think we have another rogue Gaston punishment on our hands. Pluto has also been yelling, I got that dog in me very loudly as he pushes women's boyfriends away

and snatches the girlfriend up and runs away with him. Pluto is out of control. He has done, once again, a tombstone pile driver. Pluto has tombstone pile driven a grandmother on Main Street. He has yanked the head off of the dog from up uh declared there's only one dog around these parts uh thrown the thrown the head in the lagoon and now he's attacking every service animal in the park he will not stop high-fiving cruella deville saying they had it coming they had it coming and then he says i'm ready to sacrifice my skin for you and he is cutting off the pieces of

his uniform and allowing her to use them to make uh puppy coats and they're constructing the coat now in the middle of main street usa they've priced the coat at 700 frankly given its shoddy construction seems like too much too much the costumes have been around for too long that is not fresh costume fabric just dirty old costume fabric so again seize any cameras that are filming any of this burn them and make sure these don't end up on inside edition i wonder who the most famous guest on i wonder if anyone's going on to stardom from the guest on if it's a rocket to the moon as far like is there anybody on tv is anyone on the new i was wondering the guy uh did you say

the new walker yeah the guy who i think was the in the most great viral Gaston clips, his name, Rob Walker. Wow. Maybe that's subliminal thing. Reported by GQ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. So I want to shout him out. I was looking, because I would love to find out,

yeah, that he has some, he's had a big career. Or at least he's well, whatever's happening, because really funny. Or at least he's like playing like Popeye now at Islands of Adventure.

Yeah, sure. Where you get a little more rope where you yeah because you you can be looser there of course yeah yeah um yeah yeah not the popeye so bawdy but uh but he could be he could be yeah hey there's a special room in me ship i'm gonna show you the room in me ship that i don't get to see that voice though it makes everything sound a little more lecherous even a normal even a non-lecherous statement sounds lecherous you think you think me arms look weird wait till you see me dick yeah hopefully it's also got a little pipe all right that's it you survived gotta be a podcast the right the second

gate a little corncob pipe popeye's dick smokes a little corncob pipe is that what you're saying yeah it was no innuendo i was just talking about little corncob pipe the mass magician's dick has a little mask and popeye's dick has a little corncob pipe. Let's see if we can keep this a runner. Let's try. What topic can't we give a little dick amenity to? Hey, you did it. Thanks for subscribing to The Second Gate.

Sometimes we do episodes where we talk about the topic more. We will do that someday, but I hope you like this pile of nonsense and if you want even more piles of nonsense join us on our vip patreon tier club three where you get one more bonus episode every month and our regular episodes ad free um well uh uh well i mean first of all rest in peace ornithal james simpson and second of all you want to send send us off and send OJ off with a little pipe yay this has been a forever dog production executive produced by Mike Carlson

Jason Sheridan Scott Gairdner Brett Boehmhm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on facebook