Podcast: The Ride - UNLOCKED: Six Flags Fright Fest 2019 with Anthony Gioe

Episode Date: July 3, 2020

Enjoy this sample of P:TR-The Second Gate. Available only at Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide In October 2019, Mike Carlson and Anthony Gioe (Duncanville, I Feel Bad) braved the world of the teens at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! Welcome to Hauntcast the Fright, the second gate Where today we will be discussing Ah, ah, ah, Mike We gotta Halloweenify it I gave this some thought last night I think what we're doing right now is Hauntcast the Fright The Cemetery

Gate. Oh, yeah. I came locked and loaded. I solved the problem. Man, and you were waiting to just serve me there. You knew I wanted it to be the interrupt. I walked it right into a trap. A spooky trap. I Dennis Nedry'd

you. It's fair enough. That was me, Scott Garner. I Dennis Nidre'd you. It's fair enough. I deserve it. That was me, Scott Gairdner, interrupting. I interrupted Mike Carlson, and who hasn't said anything yet? Jason Sheridan. For once, I have not said anything in the rare moment. You're digesting a breakfast, though. I am digesting. Look, it's easy like Sunday morning here at Hauntcast, the Fright, the Cemetery Gate.

You know, we're getting started of the day, you know. I was eating a Clif Bar as I walked in with my Starbucks. And our guest beat us. Our guest beat me and Scott here today. Yeah, yeah. Well, lucky for you and I, Jason, we don't have a lot to do here because I think we're going to sit back and hear a tale.

And a tale from our guest. Yes, our guest Anthony Gio is here. And you're back, finally! We didn't say we gotta have you back for a while yeah it's kind of disrespectful of you of us to not have you back uh until now so welcome back yeah uh uh uh uh yeah thank you guys for having me i'm excited to talk about yeah this so as will be discussed i don't know when this is coming out if it'll be discussed before uh i've had to find a whole set of new podcast partners for the various haunts that happen in southern california over the month of september months of september and October. You went to a cemetery and found some ghouls to go with you. I found some new ghouls to go with me.

Some new ghouls and goblins. Yeah. So you'll hear about some of that later or before. I don't know. I forgot. But Fright Fest at Six Flags. Six Flags Magic Mountain. Six Flags Magic Mountain.

Where you would not set foot into before? That was the first time I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. Where you would not set foot into before? That was the first time I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. Wow. Geo? I had been once before, I think.

Okay, okay. And I have not ever been. Jason did a safe tour. Wow, really? No. Because I'm not a coaster guy.

I'm not a screamer. Yeah, I'm not. I mean, as a child. I'm a femur. As a child, I was not. I went to Great America But I was very scared Of all the big coasters

Funny enough That was my six flags growing up Yeah, the Gurney Great America Yeah, near Chicago Okay So I was hoping We didn't do every coaster

But I was also hoping To get a little bit braver When it comes to coasters Which we'll talk about In a second Sure All the coasters For the most

part at fright fest too i i spent a bunch of time reading the website so i at least contribute could contribute something and the gimmick with the coasters seems to be the lights are off yes yeah i don't know how great that gimmick is because it's just like it's dark out it's like dr dark himself dreamed up this devilish scheme so i don't know yeah i don't know if it's like wow it was so different but i guess it was a little darker you know i would say it was just inconvenient like it made it hard to like figure out what was going on there was a lot of fog i would say they spared no expense on fog machines there were so many fog machines there were times when we would be walking by and i feel like i would just get a fresh mouthful of fog yeah like the fog would just shoot as soon as we were like right next

to the machine and i would just be like oh like i got a full good we should just preemptively start the paperwork on the class action lawsuit yeah you guys because you text it like two or three times when you were up there yes and it started slow and then and it very quickly became like yeah i gotta do an episode about this experience yeah it started so small do you want to well it started fast we're doing it we're doing it yeah so so we may as well go yeah so uh well yeah this was not necessarily a plan but as soon as there was a thing that immediately set the tone for the adventure and this was also we should say uh nice enough to be invited to a press event yeah right yeah this was free and a nice thing a real nice thing uh but it's why we're doing this

behind the the paywall there is a part of it behind the cemetery gate why we're behind the cemetery gate uh and by the way any of the the stories we tell we're not trying to dissuade you from going no no six flags magic mountain i said to Mike as we pulled away, I said, Six Flags sucks and I love it. And I think that really sums it up. Like, do not miss this. I agree. You could say that. You could fill in the blank with a lot of our second gate topics.

That's true. And with the blank and I love it. It sucks and I love it. Six Flags should buy that slogan from you they should promote the park yes so okay i have a quick question yeah yeah is fright night nationwide so is it happening yes okay it's not just a magic gun i'm thinking of going when i'm in chicago i'm thinking okay we'll see and see how it is uh i remember once being at a six legs great adventure in jersey in in the fall and fright fest was going on and uh it was so small you if you didn't want to do it

you could just avoid that part of the party it was literally in a corner of the park there's maybe two houses and a scare zone back in the early 2000s it was very small also unlike other haunts when it's fright fest days at six flags it runs from 10 30 a.m to 1 a.m like it doesn't just become fright fest at night when that's not our experience it's not it started at like seven they had an opening ceremony. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think that was opening day, though. Oh, maybe. Or maybe it's just.

I don't know. I'm not actually sure. Maybe that was just park hours. On the website, Fright Fest dates were like marked 1030 a.m. to 1 a.m. So you would have like zombies walking around in the morning? In the day. Yeah. Just with coffee.

They're even groggier with it before they're coffee. Hello, Jason. Let's finish my cliff bar i need a banana uh which is also my harrison ford impression so where was where was i something happened right oh yeah so right okay kind of kicked off with kicked off with the teens at the office depot telling us their favorite roller coaster because we had to print the tickets oh that's right so yeah my printer not working and i also feel like printer ink is a scam uh at this point at least the printers we have yeah feels like it runs out of ink and 30 page like 30

pages of printing which sucks yeah so like i'll just like go print for 10 cents at office depot how millennials are killing the printing industry that's true i don't do it i bring that up because it kind of came into play later when we were well just like teens play a big role in all of this uh that's good to tease the teens because the teens are everywhere i don't know if i saw an adult wearing a name tag like i don't i really think that six flags may be running solely on there's one teen there is one teen in this story i thought i turned that off uh there is one teen in this story that is like a hero, is like a shining star, and I'll never forget him. Teens and bad teens. Not bad, just maybe apathetic teens.

Although maybe one bad teen. So anyway, so we print everything out at Office Depot, and what did the one... She said... Tatsu? She spotted it. She spotted your ticket and she goes, oh, Six Flags. And she goes, you got to ride Tatsu. And then she goes, you got to ride it twice.

Or she said something like... We didn't ride Tatsu, though. No. Because... We'll get there. Or she says, you got to ride it twice. I always write it twice you write right right uh so she was excited and then i wonder if she was like oh these two older

men are going so like i'm a teen and these two older men are going to enjoy it they're having a nice nice husband's night together night together who knows uh anyway that's just my own neuroses about my age so uh we drive up there i have recently got a new car i have my old car like 10 years and i said you know what let me pay a little more to try to be conscientious about the environment so i got a prius prime it's a plug-in so we're at the uh place where the part whatever the parking booth and i go oh because i think i saw on the website that they have ev park like plug-in charging i go oh do you have uh electric vehicle charging and she goes yes she was very excited yeah she was like we do have it and i was like oh that's great and she's like so what you'll

do is you'll drive down the street and then the first building you see on your right that's where it is and she didn't say like specifically like oh you pull in she gave no specific she just kept saying building on the right yeah and i was like okay so it's just it's the first thing because i was trying to look for a little more specific uh detail about it but she didn't have any she just said first building on the right so we're driving and we take like a little bit of a waist down we take a turn a little bit on the right and there is a would you describe like one step up from a trailer yeah i would say at best a shack sort of a shack and there's like a metal like temporary fence in front of it and we spot a car that's just plugged into an outlet on the outside wall you know you sent that picture and i didn't really

know what i was looking at and now i get it and we were like so confused we're like is this it none of it felt official so we like pulled around like i stopped and like pulled around and we're looking we're like yeah that car is plugged into an outlet on the wall and we were we were pretty good about like we were there are quite a few employees coming in and out of the building that we were like waiting to take a cue from them of like oh actually this is right not for you because the press parks in the employee lot right that's where you were uh no i think it was just a general you were just in the general yeah so so we were parking uh so so yeah so there were three or four employees that would walk by.

But, like, almost as if they were coming to talk to us. Yes, each time. And almost cinematically walked right past us. Like, never had a gripe about what we were doing. Because it looked like we were fucking with the building. Like, for as long as we were by the building, like, and lining the car up. Because there was only one way to park.

I'll say this. There were probably a couple of ways to park, but most of the ways to park would have let Mike's car been blindsided. There was no actual space. It would have been just you and the road. Right. Like out of a parallel park on the road that takes you into the parking lot she's only getting darker as the night goes yeah and it's a new car so then like

geo's like coaching me he's like i think you gotta back up on the gravel here so we're like backing up on the gravel just like right back into and again there's i swear four or five employees that keep and there's a woman who walks out. She walks out and like leans over the fence. And we're like, oh, here's the person that's going to finally say this is good. No, don't do this. So you're actually, there's a full building where you actually charge or it's over there. With logos, you know, the way those stations look nice.

Yeah. Yes. Tesla ones. Right. At the Burbank mall. Yes. And we roll the window down and i think you said i said oh i said hey are we allowed to park here can we plug in and then i pointed at the outlets uh uh and she uh she said she didn't speak english and i said

oh can we uh then it was i was like it was it was tough. I was like, can we park here? And then she kind of just like, yeah, like she was like, go for it. And that nonchalance is the six flags way. So I just left my car in the gravel out by a shack plugged into an outlet

on the outside of the shack. Is it just like an orange extension cord? Well, I have, most cars come with a thing. You can plug it into an outlet. And if you like have it at home, it takes a long time to charge that way.

Okay. Which we'll find out later. So you plugged an extension cord into a utility trailer. Well, it's a charger. It comes with a cord. Okay. But it's, yeah, essentially.'s a charger it comes with a cord so okay but it's yeah essentially so so we just there was multiple plugs i guess i i guess that's what it was for i guess that is what it's so hard to tell one powered all of the justice league ride if you'd unplugged it that

that rides down it's funny you say well it's funny you say that oh my god wow so we're laughing pretty hard at this i'm just leaving i'm like keep turning like looking at my car like is it okay there is this gonna be i was actually i was pretty convinced that like your car was not gonna be there so i had convinced myself like i don't think this is gonna but i thought the wheels were just gonna be missing like all four wheels it's gone good three and a half weeks of that car. Yeah. I do have a theory of what the brown shack was now.

Because once you're in the park, I don't think the teens are taking breaks at the brown. I don't think they're walking across the whole park. I think that was like the parking lot. Break room. Employee break room. Yeah. That's what I think. Maybe, yeah.

So that's probably a good. Yeah. Who knows? It's actually the power search shack it's just constantly having power searches so your car almost got fried well it would it would make sense from how much it actually charged it by the end of the night good boy so we yeah we head in we'll head in we're a little lost in the parking lot and finally we walk uh and and we had like we had to be in the uh and i'm forgetting the name of the lounge already at a certain time the full throttle lounge full

throttle bar yeah full throttle bar because that's where the press check-in was and so we're like we had like an hour 45 minutes and we're like we'll go on justice league first when we walked in though it wasn't clear like they don't have signs that point to the entrance the entrance is what you would think is almost like the side of the park yeah it's not a lot of things are super clear to before and then you have to double back there's also sniper towers in the parking lot yes there are strange yeah like towers like deer deer blinds six flags has deer blind towers in the parking lot uh i love six i want to go back now i do so bad we should have gotten the pass because honestly it would have been we had comp tickets and we were $30 more we really should have done it i'm

really regretting it now they had a folding table set out for people that wanted to up their pass. And I go, I pointed it to it. I go, Mike, doesn't it feel like that should be a little more official? It was just like, like a garage sale. I mean, also, by the way, it it's probably like 60 for the pass instead of 30 uh you could barter for it if you had like a nice ring they'd give you the pass for that yeah yeah that's some silver platinum ring uh or less uh so we walk in and uh we've said it before about disney world but you know the dream of the 90s is alive at six flags only uh the unpainted dream

of the 90s is alive it arguably looks abandoned in some places there are places where the paint is so faded you would think like okay if no one was around yeah like uh-oh like this has been this is 10 years it's been just left like this. Did you guys notice the walkways in a certain condition? Like the cement has not been re-cracked in a while. Like the cement has not been poured in a while. That's what I noticed. A lot of cracks, like am I going to twist my ankle kind of walkways. You really can't tell the difference.

You can't tell the difference between the parking lot lot pavement and the and the walking pavement yeah and this park 10 years ago there was concern it was going to be torn down and housing built there or apartments and then it got i guess they figured out either they i think maybe the housing crisis happened and they're like no just keep it a six flag we're not gonna fill the parlor coasters are cheaper yeah yeah these ones are uh i told mike when we walked in i said it feels like the playstation one just came out like that's like the vibe it felt like just like it like like the mid 90s and yeah uh even that full throttle lounge is extremely that's that's cool was that by the west coast racers preview center uh well it might have been we didn't go in there i mean that at least is an active is an active construction we saw the construction construction

site yeah that was over by the the rip cord i'd also like to say we were only there for about five hours and i walked 22 well when did we get there five no i think you're right it just feels like i'm still we walked 22 000 22 000 feet like steps i mean yeah miles i was about to say uh but which was i had gone to uh horror nights a couple days prior And walked half of that Whoa It's a massive It's a massive Space

And we kept not knowing Where we were going Yeah It's very confusing Yeah Especially when The lights went out The lights went out

The fog is at 200% more than Normal fog levels They're giving out Cups of Just cups of F cups of fog solution that you drink on the way drink your fog uh so iodine tablets so we're walking through the slightly abandoned park the working abandoned park and we're trying

to find justice league and we see on the the map, there's a DC area. Yeah, there's like a whole, I mean, I think their best example of what a land would be, right? I think so. There's like a gateway you'd walk under. Okay. Yeah. So we go there and it's not there. It's not located in the DC area.

The Justice League ride is not in DC land. Oh my God. It's next to it right yeah i mean it's not so far but it's it's a little it's like removed like the game isn't it between the games in the dc area it's not you have to go past the broad uh the boardwalk games yes yeah so it's not like next next because so we're like asking people and they don't even seem that sure no the the we asked where's justice league and the guy squinted and goes i think over there it's like over there i swear there's a question mark

on the end like the riddler's question mark uh was it so we were like okay so we're walking and then we finally see like the hall of justice which uh i guess we didn't come from that way so we shouldn't have seen it because i was i was getting so confused i kept telling geo we were going the wrong way which we weren't i was so convinced because the place that got me so turned around so okay so we didn't realize also that we had front row we had front line passes for everything but we were not utilized oh no we didn't have them yet no yeah but that's a later we weren't utilizing the ride right anyway so we get in the line for justice league and it takes a little while and do you remember what's piping through the speakers i'm so glad you're here so we get into the line and

it's like you're in the justice league you're outside of the hall of justice yes yes on a loop tweety bird is just oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and he's saying stuff like uh watch your belongings so like there's no theme there's no theming attempt happening at all there's no like batman danny elfman batman soaring. There's none of that. Right. We don't really check for knives here, so careful. Watch out for the piranhas. Knives are in play. Be diligent. Protect yourself from knives. I think the ride's over there.

It used to probably be something with Tweety Bird, and they just never changed it. I think that's i think that's it yeah they're like you know these people don't give a shit the hall of twat this yes he's the same right uh so right over there i i taught i saw that ride so we're waiting in line we are we we it takes a little while. We get in and I think there was an employee outside. There was an employee outside. The doors open.

We walk inside into a room where it's a big screen and no employee. No. Which is just shocking when you go to like Universal or Disney. Any room you go into as an employee to tell you where to go, to make sure don't you know fuck with things in japan there's like seven people per ride just at the entrance hello yes no one no we're in an empty room we're just in an empty room with a bunch of tourists with 10 feet tall statues of the just of yes yeah three yeah the three the holy trinity yes uh wonder woman yeah so we turn and we watch a video to prep us for the justice league ride yeah i took a little footage of which you have some footage of and then

you made a comment of another playstation related comment i'll let you make the comment yeah it was on the brain well it it looked like playstation 3 like cutscene graphics yes the mouths don't line up but I'll say the added kind of detail to it is it looked like

these CGI characters were there against their will yeah their faces are not happy no and it's long it's very long

and also like Superman and a couple other characters look like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights when he doesn't know how to do an interview. And their hands are hovering in a way while they're talking to the screen. You're like, what are their hands doing? Are they just uncomfortable on camera? Superman should be better at talking to the public. Whoa. And it goes on so long it's like footage from a killing's commercial webs uh workshop

which will be a second gate eventually uh yeah and it's basically just like explaining that lex luthor and the joker are out and they've got some sort of robot what do they call them i don't know jason you remember robot things i remember well luthor like first the joker's there and then luthor like comes down and he explains uh he like the subtext is like well let's just call out the elephant in the room. The reason I'm working with the Joker is because he like spends time explaining that. He seems awkward on camera too. He's a CGI character. He's awkward on camera.

He's uncomfortable. So he's a supervillain, but he doesn't know. He didn't take that class. He's got some jitters. It's also should be said this ride is all over the world but everywhere it's a little different for whatever reason they have duplicated but not exactly like some places have less animatronics some places are just screens right but it's it's still called battle for metropolis justice league battle for metropolis everywhere it's very straight it's we need to do a whole second game episode trying to figure out every iteration of this yes yeah um our whole

main feed episode for that for sure i mean i think you could yeah yeah we'll get a lot more out of it with all the specifics uh so then we go into this other next room the second room no employee to be found the second room there's no employee which are you getting from room to room well the door the door the door does open but when we the door first opened for us to go into the first hall or the first room that didn't open properly and the woman in front of us had to like kind of like force it open what she had like she put like quite a bit of weight so her kids could like kind of like get in you were prying your way into this ride in your way into the hall of justice oh my dad you're stealing a car yeah so we walk into the next room and there's a big cyborg the character cyborg animatronic um which is cool to see

and he's sort of explaining to you what's going to happen and he does what a maybe a minute of explanation yeah and everyone in there kind of seems like the of the other people that were with us all seem maybe like they were like annual pass holders yeah no one was listening they didn't give a shit about him they were kind of just waiting for the door to open so if you when you first walk into the room and you look straight ahead that's where cyborg is he's kind of like up on a platform uh and he has he has like the weapons in front of him that you're supposed to use because it's like a buzz light you're shooting type game uh everyone just turned their back to him and went to the the other door at the back of the room so they can get ready

to queue up. I felt like they were protesting him honestly. I don't know why. Mayor DiPlazio, you're a cyborg, you're a disgrace. So, well, we were watching him, but then I also felt like oddly competitive to jockey for door

position. Yeah, it was a little tough because it felt like they knew something we didn't. You can't stand too close to a cyborg, you start shooting oddly competitive to like jockey for door position yeah it was a little tough because i it made it felt like they knew something we didn't yeah like you can't stand too close to cyborg you start shooting oil in a second and then about a minute into his his his speech uh he he breaks down he breaks down and uh we just we hear we hear reset reset we hear reset reset and then there's about a minute that goes by that that's just like a like a human voice right not like it's not like a cyborg's father saying reset or something it's not themed it's just an employee being like oh shit okay reset uh and then a minute goes by assuming we'll see maybe

again and then the doors just open and they did the next room whoa which comes comes into play a little bit because so we never learned what the ride was like that that to me felt like we heard the narrative in the first room the second room is like this is what you need to know we never heard what we needed to know and so we got into line the line so we'll use okay so there's two lines and it said one is regular line and one is single rider and you made the point because we were trying to get it it was already taking too long everything was too long and we needed to get to the full throttle bar at a certain time so geo was like hey do you want to just do single rider and i was like oh yeah that's fine we don't need to sit next to each other whatever so we're the

only two people that go into single rider everybody else goes in the regular line which wasn't super long but whatever 50 people 60 people only people we walk up right up to the front of single rider and there was i think the most teenish teen yeah working and he looked like he got as white as a ghost when he saw us in the single rider line his eyes like were really wide and you can just kind of see what was going on in his brain which was someone at some point told me what to do and i've forgotten what to do like he did not know what single rider he did three i feel like two, like looking around to see if he could ask someone. And he was just like, oh, both single rider?

And we were like, oh, yeah, yeah, both single rider. Okay. He went to the regular line. And I think you can put three and three in these ride vehicles. He went to the regular line, pulled two people out, put them in the front. He looked at Gio and I. Okay, he waved both of us over and put both of us in the back of the vehicle yeah all right score that's great when that happens

and we were like okay because that's like he that's not what you do for a single rider you're supposed to wait till you've had that happen yeah but that's only to get that's only to get the that line i think moving sometimes yeah because sometimes that it just gets like there's it keeps working out evenly let me ask you this do you think maybe he just turned white as a sheet because he realized uh the sun was about to set and the ghosts and goblins were about to come out not even the power of the justice league it was contained it's possible it was still like 90 minutes till that was gonna happen okay but there's no doubt it was on his mind all right we're only 30 minutes in all right so uh so we get on the ride we're like we're laughing again like this is funny we got we skipped the whole line uh and we pull hard like you, hard into the first room and there's a, the first big screen and we have the guns ready to go.

And the screen, I think both of us have the same experience. I think maybe I realized a second before, because I looked at front, uh, I was like, this screen is awful blurry. Like I really can't.

Yeah. Like, why is it so, and I look at, I look in front and I go i go oh we're supposed to have 3d glasses oh yeah i i do recall that i remember riding it yeah no one handed us no one gave us glasses wow he just sent us off and i'll say there wasn't much i don't know where people in the regular line were getting glasses you may have had to bring them from home have you seen a real d movie lately and just store

those up we're low so we're going through we did the whole ride without 3d glasses everything blurry laughing the whole way it broke down too and it broke down oh my god yeah a couple times now there are a few sparse animatronics through it yes but i have to say when i wrote it a couple months ago when i was up there there is a room where it's dark and as you come into the room the lights come up and there's just two goons two bad guys in orange jumpsuits and they are holding not ray guns not slime guns they're just holding assault weapons yes shooting right at you yes yeah yeah that in 2019 i was like it takes a lot to unnerve me but i was like oh i don't know about this room i don't know watch out we got bump stocks yeah it's like oh maybe we should put some gizmos or

gadgets on those things so it's like they're shooting rays at me you're holding like a nes zapper you are holding like a marvin the martians gun inadvertently themed but to the wrong property yeah and the trigger on mine was very loose was your it didn't have like a lot of i don't even it felt like a broken water gun i wasn't even shooting that much it was it was okay yeah it didn't feel like a water gun honestly it had the recoil of a water gun yeah uh and we're yeah so yeah it broke down a couple times uh uh there's yeah there's a joker animatronic which isn't bad it's a harley quinn harley right before you Yeah, there's a Joker animatronic, which isn't bad. It's a Harley Quinn. And a Harley right before you're done.

There's like a little tease. She's in the ceiling. She sprays you with gas, I think. Yes. So we get fog. So fog. A mouthful of fog. Just a warning of the night to come.

So she sprays you, and then we get off. And then the woman collecting the goggles, she tosses the Rubbermaid in your face, face like in the front row and they put the goggles in and she goes all right goggles and we go we didn't get any and she was she kind of she's like like she like exasperatedly sigh or something yeah she seemed really not towards uh us like it was like not again you're right it seemed like that has happened before like eden god damn it he didn't like what is it goes she was like she goes hold it she's like well hold on let me see what i can do and we're like oh no we gotta we're running we gotta go to the full

throttle bar we got and she's like oh okay she goes oh. Very nice. I do it twice. So, I mean, the day is off to a rollicking start at this point. So, we go to the full throttle. We check in. And it's the upstairs of the full throttle lounge. And, yeah, the VIP area, which downstairs looks like. Kind of like a Buffalo Wild Wings. But not as nice, probably.

As a Buffalo Wild Wings. I also am a big fan of Buffalo Wild Wings. Maybe, yeah, maybe a little cheaper. A little cheaper. Not so bad. But they're very spread. So there's a spread up there. You know, you got a couple drinks, which is really great.

We got orange dreamsicle milkshakes in a skull glass. God, fuck off. In a light up skull. Yeah. Gio didn't drink all of his.

No, I couldn't. I drank all of mine. Did you doggy bag it for me? I did think, I asked, I was like, do you think Jason maybe would want the cup? And we were trying to figure out how to.

You abandoned your cup, but I took mine. I carried mine through every maze. That's true. Which also is, which is funny enough. I'm sure I'll talk about it again. I had a cup that was similar from Horror Nights that I carried through every maze. Jeez. And they're the same cup, only one is slightly bigger and says six flags on it. Oh.

But they're the same skull with the same thing and the same light up effect. So what you're saying is you have a set. Yes, I do. So when you and Lindsay have your little, you know, five o'clock somewhere, glad the work day is done, unwinding. Spooky five o'clock somewhere. Spooky five o'clock somewhere. Glad the work day is done. Unwinding. Spooky five o'clock somewhere. Spooky five o'clock somewhere. You have a set.

You guys, you have a full throttle lounge at home. Yeah. So we get that there's a... Well, if that's the case, then you can't have soap in any of your bathrooms empty throttles am I getting ahead of myself when we went to the

coffin challenge first yeah that's true when we passed to get I feel like a lot of our daytime was doubling back because it's unclear how to navigate a lot of this park. So we went past, to get to Full Throttle, we went past what was something called the Coffin Challenge. The 30-Hour Coffin Challenge.

Yeah. Am I the only one who knows about the 30-Hour Coffin Challenge? Have you participated? No, I just know this is a thing six flag does every year like you try to spend 30 hours in a coffin and i forget what the prize is we know what the prize is right and we heard it as we were walking through so like the way that it's set up is you walk up a ramp and then the coffin the coffins are like in the like the middle of like a little area and you can you can like kind of walk around them on a little area and you can you can like kind of walk around

them on a little sidewalk so how would you say like eight or nine are there and then they have a dry erase board with who's the rankings it's unclear how the rankings work mike and i have deduced that you were maybe penalized for using the bathroom like getting out of your coffin to like use the restroom or something because like it has times next to the rankings okay um just pee in the coffin well it so we're walking around them and there's like a guy in the mic and he's like coffin challenge like hour 26 of the coffin challenge like come back in four hours to see who wins and then he wins the grand prize 666 dollars and an annual pass to six flags and then as he's saying because like mike and i are horrified that that's what the prize is we think people are doing this for at least like five grand

or a stripped down chevy cruiser like something like something like and uh as the guy says that a woman pops her head out of one of her coffins and smiles and waves at us i was just like that made me want to leave fat i was like get out of here humanized to get docked points for sitting up i tell you what she shouldn't have been waving at us stop waving a guy in a skeleton mask like whipped the coffin a lot of them were sleeping yeah like we're tucked away you were like you were like it's bad for you to lie down that long yeah well yeah i said like if you're in a hospital bed like for a prolonged period you gotta get up you gotta move and if you're incapable of doing that then they bring in like these sleeves for your legs to like massage your legs to create

circulation and uh something's telling me six flags didn't provide those teams weren't coming in to massage their legs go back to sleep coffin challengers. And no jerk at all. We forgot. We forgot to go back to see who won. We meant to do it, but then we got too sidetracked the rest of the night. We got lost. We got lost. Okay, so we walked around there.

666. Wow. 666. Pay like, it's like six days rent. Yeah, that's what I, that's like if you worked a part-time job and. Pay like, it's like six days rent. Yeah. That's what I, that's like if you worked a part-time job and you were like, Oh, $22 an hour,

30 hours a week. This job's good. Yeah. This is, that's a nice deal. I feel, I mean, I almost feel like I'm sure those people like probably need that money. And I'm like,

I feel bad even like knocking it, but it's like six flags is the problem. Give them at least a couple grand for god's sake yeah you're gonna lie down in your goddamn amusement park for 30 hours 10 years from now we'll all be doing the coffin challenge for money four jobs maybe whoever lasts this long will get a job uh hire some painters six flags put people to work uh okay so we're back at the full throttle lounge uh and we when we checked in i think part of the confusion was uh we uh we got a bracelet and a badge and the badge was like a media badge uh and then the

bracelet as they put it on they asked each of us if uh we were 21 and over right yes and so we we assumed that was to have access to alcohol at full throttle um but it turned out to be our fast pass right which we never figured we didn't figure out till like the last hour it wasn't clear it wasn't clear um So, yeah. So, we went. We ate some of the food. Some was better than others. There was a hot wing that was very hot, which I liked. I thought it was pretty good.

There was some, like, there was Takis, pork, and, like, nacho cheese. I don't know what that is. They called it walking. She called it, she goes, don't forget your walking zombie taki that's what she said walking taco like a play on walking taco yeah okay yeah don't forget your fried fog so i'm a little bit of a uh like eating is like these sorts of things Is like not easy for me So like I I ended up for dinner Eating A pudding cup

And a beer Well not a Not a pudding cup A dirt cup Oh a dirt cup Yeah Oh Yeah yeah

The dirt cup With gummy worm in it And then a little bit Of the milkshake I tell you The mango cart beer though From Golden Road Great

Great It's like a little It's like a little, it's like a fruit. It just tastes like juice. It's good. Yeah, that's what we want. Yeah, yeah. I had two of the drinks. You had one, and then I tried to redeem your extra ticket

so I could get another drink in before, but then they pulled it all down. So that was too bad. You got the drink that's mostly sherbet. Yeah, that's good your preferred mixer 0.1 alcohol so uh i remember when i went out to use the i had to leave to use the restroom to find like a sink that had uh um soap oh yeah. And when I walked outside, I overheard, I wrote it down,

I overheard a dad. So, this is a dad telling his kid, I'm walking to the bathroom and he's walking with me and he turns back and this dad tells his kid,

watch your brother, I have to take a shit. It took my breath away how young are the kids uh i would say the kid that was being told to watch his other brother was maybe like early middle school and the little kid Maybe I would say seven, eight. Sorry, it's not up to your high standards, your highness. This limousine liberal looking for hand soap in a bathroom. So you came back upstairs. I think I tried to wash my hands. I think it was just that upstairs bathroom was too small

it was packed too slick it's for like it's child style you didn't fit in it well yeah no it was tiny it was like it was hobbit size no it was like it was just like maybe one stall and there were so many people there were so many press people up there and i was looking for i think what would you say of the people i know in the theme park community i that i annoy everyone with like why did you watch this video did you listen to this i didn't see anybody i knew these are all new theme park journalist related people no fresh baked no fresh baked disney i experienced this because i took a tour of this roller coaster area they're building and i was like oh the theme park journalism world breaks into different categories because there's just people who follow the roller like the america

the roller coaster enthusiasts i think that's a whole other world it's a whole other world and i was trying i was yeah i was looking for your big names in my mind but these might be big names in the coaster community or the now i have to i have to look the haunt community right i have to look in a whole new section there were like 60 people 70 people up there and we never run into the bumper car boys because they are bumper car primarily yeah right thank god because i don't want to see those little shits yeah there would be a big fight yeah it would be a big they better stick to bumper thank god disney doesn't have a lot of bumper cars though there is a funny i mean if we run into they would end up turning into like the anchorman fight only with theme park journalists

fresh baked disney gets a blade jim and len have a big mace yeah everybody's splashing mostly non-alcoholic yeah right but drinks in each other's eyes and running away in terror stabbing each other with the ap commemorative pins run away sorry sorry sorry uh so anyway so yeah uh we it was crowd crowd we had to sit at another table with some nice folks who were went in a blog um so we were getting told by we're getting she was the woman we had sat down with was telling us, don't listen to what they'll tell you where to go after this. Yeah. Yeah. Her tone was like,

just take the tram up to the top and then start there because they were telling us to go to when they unleash the monster, the 7. PM ceremony of unleashing the monsters. So she was like, yeah, you can't really see, but we were like we gotta

see the monsters get unleashed yes so uh we were we were like some of the last people in there and then the woman in charge um kind of came by and we're like was like we got come on like she was definitely like we gotta go see the monsters be unleashed which that to me i thought the entire night was gonna be like ushering like that. Because she was so on top of it. I was wondering if that would be out. She was like, okay, almost like the last bus is leaving type vibe. But then once we went to the monster, I mean, maybe they were anticipating the monsters to be so unleashed. Because we did not really have guidance after that.

Yes, right. Which is good. I mean, that's what Horror Nights was. So that was good. It was good that we were being marched through everything. So we went. It was back by DC. We walk all the way back to DC.

And then at 7 p.m., it's the unleashing of the monsters, which I have a video of it. I don't know. I guess I'll not show up. I'll post it. And then... Sounds too scary for us to experience. It's still daytime, though.

So there's that. But all the monsters come out set to, like, heavy metal music. And I have to imagine that they were all so jacked up. I imagine that it's like... And I'm not even being like ironic or anything like it must be like hell yeah we're doing it the opening night of the season yeah they may have regretted it three hours into signing up for this job which i think is what we when we ran into a few scare actors later i was like they're regretting this decision already yeah they were like jacked up

and it was packed also it was like full It was like they were running a race. And there was like people cheering them on. That's a great way to describe it. It felt like we were like lined up at a marathon. And they were like all coming out. But they weren't hard. Yes. Too hard.

These one guys had these, what would you just say? Like sparks. Like these kind of like spark makers on their palms and on their knees so like when they slide on them yes they cause like some sparking oh yeah show yeah that's like a whole show that goes on oh okay knee sparkers sliders of the night yeah that's are you sure that's a quote classified show? On the website, it is. Does it say show, or is it... Because some of the things I was getting confused,

really all that means is that for about 30 feet, there'll be some performers. Like, there's a hypnotist. Oh, so it is listed under shows. Yeah, yeah. They break it down to, like, scare zones, mazes. Oh, we saw the hypnotist. Yeah, we saw the hypnotist.

Unleashed, Voodoo Noo nights sliders of the night like so the entertainment i think maybe they just called entertainment that's why i think i don't know that there's a full show because there's some of the things are like listed on that but it turns out like there was like a fairy tale thing and i was expecting a maze or a show and it was just literally an area 70 feet of walkway with three or four scare characters and a ton of fog isn't that technically what a scare zone is yes yeah okay i'm just saying i think maybe it's just a scare oh i see i don't know i actually i don't know though i saw a what is a slider of the night slider of the what did you call sliders of the night yeah so different

than sliders of the day we're all accustomed to and love sliders of the day or riders on the moon right we saw strangers in the night the i saw a slider of the night uh because they i would say that they're the most amped here i'm showing you the video of the that doesn't look like anything uh here okay here they come show jason take it um oh my god they're really running and sliding there's a super tall clown. And people were going nuts. Yeah, yeah.

People were flipping. And the difference, and I say this from having gone to horror nights a couple nights prior, the difference at, as we were saying, teasing earlier, the difference is the amount of teens that are at Six Flags. Because teens shriek. Teens yell and shriek teens yell and shriek so the amount of yelling and shrieking was times 10 of horror nights i would say for every time i was startled by a scare actor i was scared by the scream of a teenager yes that is yes that would happen there

was a couple when they were just The teens were screaming so Loud and aggressively That I was like I keep getting I'm like well I'm just Reacting to this teen This teen is causing me I'm more scared of teens than I am by Anything that a fright night could bring out

Oh man Even just walking in my neighborhood I'll avoid eye contact with a teen Without knowing anything about the genre of person yeah i thought i wouldn't be scared of teens anymore once i had been one and no i'm more scared now as if they're i'm just gonna if i did make eye contact they would just arbitrarily kick my ass or something like that yeah especially like the cool neighborhood like silver lake los feliz the cool neighborhoods in la teens like i remember being at a mexican uh restaurant like a taco stand over uh at mixto

and like a teen skateboarded up once they were holding an american apparel bag and then they ordered and i'm like this 14 year old could kick my ass. Like I was just like, what growing up in like the cool air, what does that do to your brain? Like shove your head into that American apparel bag, tighten the straps and choke you to death. I, yeah, I'm still,

I want teens approval. I'm fast. Like I, at the, the teen and off early twenties person. I'm still like, do you think I'm too old like do you think i'm cool like i'm still looking for like approval from like the cool kids from high school it's

still in my brain it's weird and in this quest i think okay that's fair i think you're right about it i don't know what you gain it's not when's the point where you feel like i did it teens love me i don't know enough be enough i'll say when i'm on nickelodeon or something i don't know i'm like a funny dad on a nickelodeon show there's a new older brother on bizarre he's way old the oldest brother she's old as fuck uh yeah it's all still the all the problems i got the vibe that they can't even see us like the scare actors no the teens oh like we were just so old they didn't even recognize yeah like they is like i found myself like almost like gawking at like like just like the way they interact and like how you're observing them yeah i was just was just like, so I go and I, I really don't think they ever like noticed me.

Yeah. I don't know. I know what you're saying. I mean, they have to have noticed us, but yes, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, You guys want some boot like jewel pods.

Still got mango. Still got mango. You want some mango. You guys want to buy some cat. You should have come up with us. Pass the secret. You could have made some. The secret team code word, ketamine.

You should really go up to Valencia in the parking lot. Oh, sure. Make some extra coin. Make some extra coin with your side business. Your side jewel business. Jason never hangs out with us anymore. Old mango jewel pods. He just wants to hang with his

Valencia teen friends. Sorry he's got them grinding, you know. Always working, you know. You would look like Steve Buscemi on 30 Rock with them. Hello, fellas. You've got those soap shoes that you grind on the curbs with.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Blast some Billy Eilishish y'all this slaps so we so the opening ceremony so the opening ceremony the monsters have been unleashed and then they go through that parade and then it's it's it's cool they they i mean that sincerely then they come past the barriers. Yeah. So they explode into the park, which is fun. Like that's a fun way to get them all where they're going.

Cause then they stare terrorizing teens, like shrieking people running, like the teens running away from the performers. And it was nice though, it was cause the teens took the heat off of us. Yeah. That's true. They're just,

they're just going for the people that are going to scream the most and they're just like well these two older fellows well these two are just waiting for their kids to get out of the bathroom yeah these two are more concerned about if they're getting enough lycopene in their multivitamins that's what scares them you're right that's the real scare zone joint pain this this factor of prostate is real monsters are in my body uh there was speaking of like the one thing i just remembered like the uh what the hell sliders of the night going hard uh one slider of the night went really hard in front of me oh yeah and like so like it's really aggressive and like they they spark and then they hop back up and they kind of get in your face and the guy uh like slid and he hopped up and then he kind of just like

gingerly grabbed his wrist and he goes oh shit shook it off and like he bailed on scaring me he just goes oh opening night he went too hard he went too hard he went too hard he might not work there anymore i think half the scare actors that we saw don't work there anymore i agree well in fact we saw one still in costume carrying his under armor backpack and just leaves but low-key low-key trying to scare us in a way i think a little because i turned around and there was this guy in his mask at the end of the night right behind me but then he just kind of moved past us and he had his backpack on and his full scare actor outfit on but who knows i just have poor vision that's a good point he

couldn't see out of the mask he was uh so so then we went to double cyclone whatever uh uh twisted colossus we went to so i said oh because we Twisted Colossus. Twisted Colossus we went to. So I said, oh, because we just had Rachel Bloom on, and she raved about Twisted Colossus. And I honestly thought Twisted Colossus is going to be a fast new coaster, and new coasters generally are smooth. And I was like, you know what? That's good.

Because, again, I'm not a huge coaster guy, and I like some of them, and it takes me a little while to get used to them. So I felt like that was going to be a's good. Because again, I'm not a huge coaster guy and I like some of them and it takes me a little while to get used to them. So I felt like that was going to be a new coaster. It's going to be fast and it's going to really set the tone and I'll be like, okay, good. I can do all these things. It's not going to be a problem. Catapult, you were wrong.

Colossus has been there forever. Twisted Colossus. Right. Well, Colossus has been there forever and then they made a twisted colossus because they made it a hybrid coaster right but i'm saying this is a new coaster so it feels like it should be a new track it is yeah i'm just saying well i'm just saying that i was right about it being a new coaster it used to be just one it used to just be a regular wooden coaster right and now they put um you're on a steel track so it's a mix of wood and steel right i couldn't

tell it was so dark i couldn't i was wrong about it being a good tone setter and like smooth and not uh horrifying it was intense uh so we're waiting in line And again we didn't realize we could have just hopped the line But that's fine And so okay So we get in and I probably Mentioned this before You know the seat on the mummy at Universal The seat that kind of Juts up

Like kind of puts pressure And I hate to be so vulgar but puts pressure on your balls Like in a weird Do you agree that that happens to you a little bit? Yeah, it's like a lap. But it's like this. It's like there's a ridge. So you're kind of up on an angle a little bit.

In an annoying way? Yeah. Do you know if you've done the mummy here? It didn't make you shoot? It wasn't good? This really is the second game. We get a little crazier. And I have had... I have a problem sometimes where and this is too much information i'm sorry but i'll be i'll try to be clean about it

uh that in that instance it's like i feel like my uh my lower extremities are like pushing into my body in an uncomfortable way sometimes depending on how i sit down so on mummy now i'm kind of used to the way the seat is and i can position myself in a way that is at least much more comfortable than like the first or second time i did it i was not prepared for this and you know alone it was so uncomfortable uh because you're stepping off of a platform down into a coaster car and so you you can, it's not a normal way to sit. Like you're not falling into the seat normally. So you can't really adjust yourself in an appropriate way.

Yes. And then like once you're in there, you're so focused on your impending death. Like if you don't like get strapped in correctly. And we also have stuff you would like your sunglasses and i had my skeleton head mug and there's a we go oh there's a little pouch in the front that you just put your stuff in so i sit down and i'm not fully adjusted yet but i'm just trying to get everything done because it's we're very aware now that it may be everyone's not taking such good care of you yes so i just want to make

sure i'm seated and good and everything's secure because i know that maybe no one's looking out for me except for me no yeah the teens like don't care the the sliders of the night are out you know death is an alien concept to them yes they do not fear death yet they have no like we do they have no issues and yeah and like there's a teen running the ride who sounds like a 4-h fairground pig auctioneer like he is he is like he's just so speaking so fast you can't understand a word you don't know what the fuck the protocol is on this so we sit into the ride and we're deducing like, okay, here's the pouch. And then Mike hands me his mug and he goes,

no, no. So I tried to put the mug. So, so I tried to put the mug in the pouch. Right. And we both tried to put stuff in the pouch. The pouch is about this big.

But the problem with the pouch is that all four corners are bolted down, leaving the pouch. My fucking sunglasses didn't down leaving the pouch this much room to get. My fucking sunglasses didn't fit in the pouch. I don't know what you're supposed to put in the pouch. What else would go in? Were there cubbies at the station? Sometimes there's cubbies. You could put maybe like

some of your important documents if they were folded in half. Like loose change and guitar picks. That's like all that thing. I'm like trying to like cram. We're folding in half. Manila folder. Like loose change in guitar picks. Like, that's like all that thing. So I'm like trying to like cram. Sliced meat. There's not even a chance the mug fits in. It's big.

There's not even a chance. So now we're panicked. Because everyone's seated and you see people's harnesses going down. Restraint. So we're like, both of us are panicked. So we're trying to like, there's a teen that walks by. He's trying to check everything. And we try to just hand him our stuff to put out because we

notice people are throwing like bags just on the side which happens in certain rides literally throwing right people are throwing and getting back on so we try to give him to the teen and he's like i can't take him you got to get out of the car and go do it so i do i you make two trips i don't remember why handed me the mug and i tried to hand it to the teen he said i can't take it and i go oh you can almost as if i thought he was saying like uh like i don't want to break it yeah and i'm like no it's okay it's okay you can take it and he goes no i can't and so then i had to get out of the car onto the left side of the track and put it put it down and then then you wanted to get rid of the car onto the left side of the track and put it down.

And then... Then you wanted to get rid of your sunglasses. And then I realized my sunglasses didn't fit in the fucking pouch. And so I had to get out of the thing again. And at this point, like, it feels like, I know this isn't true, the guy in the mic is like saying, three, two, one, blast off. Like, I'm like like i'm freaking out and so he's like and i'm like i'm putting my glasses down or i i can't remember what i'm doing and then i'm like what did i say i was like you like swore at the team you like you got like so flustered but you were like you're like i just need to know

what i'm fucking is fucking going on or if you said something like that because you were so close and i was closer too because again like i'm i'm trying to figure out these this restraint and i again i have the same fear like you're gonna like step into the car and the thing's gonna take off with your leg or something like it feels like that in your guys's defense this is a twisted ride and you did just deal with the clown prince of crime himself the joker yeah so i mean it's in the air yeah there's madness in the air and uh fog pineapple pina colada flavored fog i definitely swore i don't think it was directed at the team but i definitely was like to my to was like, I can't hear what this guy's fucking saying. Like he's speaking too fast.

And so then I'm getting in and I run in the same problem. Mike's getting with like your crotch area. And then I'm not convinced my seatbelt is none of it felt so secure. Nothing felt secure. And I was like, and I was distracted by what's going on with you and I'm trying to get seated i'm still like oh shit it just feels like it's like crushing my groin my my genitals and i'm just like oh god like and like like especially like my like i hate to say my penis is like being forced back into my body the groin twister and then what

happens is and then what happens is a teen walks by on the other side, and I had already, so the restraints on this are just on your thighs. They're not on your body, your upper body. Oh, yeah. It's just on your thighs, which is going to play into how crazy the coaster is. I had had the thing down on my thighs.

A teen comes and cranks it down on my legs, even making the issue with my penis worse so it's it's crushing my lower extremities and i'm trying to get out of i'm trying to like move it and like figure out a way that this is going to be comfortable and you're in i can just like see you're like seeing like white you're like like you're not even with me i think at the moment yeah mike's dick's getting crushed i think that i almost would like would prefer to have been crushed because i'm convinced i'm flying out of this thing like and so it just goes it just goes and i'm still i'm just like wiggling around in this there's barely any room and we don't even have any idea what we're in for we have no idea it's all part of all of this part

is is all what we're concerned about and it's a slow it's a pretty slow ascent and it wasn't even that this is another thing with the coaster i was like well it doesn't even look like as tall as the other one so it's probably not going to be as bad uh and we get to the top and i didn't even know there's a gimmick like this but it's similar to to what, and I haven't done it yet, hang time at knots, which just droops you over the side of the first lift hill and hangs you there for what feels like your whole life. Let's say long enough to look in the distance and see the little brown shack where Mike's car is plugged in.

That the marauders have arrived at. It's being stripped for parts. No, that's the steering wheel i need that my last like moment on earth was gonna be looking at that shack you could have turned around then that should have been the sign so it feels so you hang off of it and it's such an interesting feeling and i i'm gonna do not scary in a few days and i plan to try hang time and i think it's gonna be similar but i think you've said it best is that and maybe you were not talking about this moment but this is a moment in the ride when your brain releases the death chemical

yes like just to make you euphoric because what this is it obviously right like if you were if you were like on the planes thousands of years ago and you your big cat was going to eat you your brain would just give you a little squirt of like no get ready for it yeah like you're you're done for it's really interesting because i do i totally i agree with what you're saying because as it was happening, my brain just went, okay. Like, well, whatever. Like, I was truly like euphoric in a weird way because of how insane the feeling was. Like, because remember, you're not strapped in chest wise. It's just your thighs.

So imagine you're like being pulled over and there's not even this feeling of okay i'm safe locked into the car you're being pulled over and then it just feels like your top part of your body is loose so that sensation is really what is doing it is really what's making you feel like oh this is it and in my case my top and bottom were no like loose i felt i was had too much i had too much movement and so yes you were loose i was way too tight so the podcast is over anthony geo died in the pursuit of a story just couldn't do it anymore like it would be too sad or like he would have wanted us he would want us to go on he would want us to go on it was really serious surprise the ride i was about three guys there always rip anti-glo

give it up for him uh we as long as you guys get one of those big ornate uh like uh back window decals of my birth date my death date you're in the in the loco now. The loco's a dedication to you. This angelic glow. Although we would have had to have some sort of a spirit of you come back on an episode somehow. Sure, that could have been an idea. Decent idea.

Ghostly version. See you on the other side, brother. So we'll finish this section of the story uh one second i believe if the park was smaller and we weren't exhausted from walking to try to find each maze we may have done this again yeah i considered it like there was something so perverse about the experience and like i i admit like it is, like, a little fucked up. But, like, it was. There's something about it that was so haunting. And the coaster was, like, fantastic. Like, it was.

So, yeah. So, yes, exactly. So, it wasn't like it was without fun. But there was so much surrounding it that was so stressful, that was so unbelievable. So, yeah, what happens is you shoot down and this is like these are curves and turns and like i've never imagined before and all of it is designed without the the chest piece to make you feel like you could fly out of the coaster you get you get airtime so much so you you whip around and whip up and i was just giggling like an asshole the whole time because you just you don't know i couldn't catch my breath

i didn't know what was happening it was so unbelievable and then which i didn't realize before either you go on it twice you immediately go on it twice you go to the second you go back to the lift hill on the other track right oh geez so i sort of thought we were done i don't think i realized that's what was happening until you just said it really i really didn't realize because you remember doing the lift hill twice uh yeah i just thought we were a different part of it i guess but that was the same lift same exact lift hill it was just on the green track you start on the blue track and start on the green it's not a racing thing you do both of them you do both of them this is where i was sometimes i think they both go at the same time but i don't know that we really like they passed i know people say sometimes they pass

each other because they both like one goes over and one goes under i don't know if we had that happen that being said i don't remember a lot of the experience so it's possible it happened i was just like only remembering every 10 seconds of it so we go up to the now we're on the green lift hill it's the same lift hill and i will say i start having an unreasonable panic attack that i won't be able to pull my genitals out of the ride you wanted to do this ride again yes and i'm i'm not fortune favors the bowl i am not exaggerating i am not exaggerating for the sake of comedy i'm just having a little bit of a mild panic attack that like something's wrong and i know i keep knowing that it's not i keep knowing that it's of course it's fine like it's not going to disappear that's your stuff is not going to disappear forever but i am like oh god

because like it's so i'm so like freaked out after the first ride that i and i have to calm myself down and then it goes away once we go on the next hill which is the same situation of the death chemical being released and going, oh, I'm dead. And then that one is an even better track because there's a long stretch where you're upside down. You feel like weightless. You remember that? Yeah, yeah. Like you just go upside. You turn upside down so fast and go weightless.

And I just remember like, what is this? This is insane. It's like a tight corkscrew. Yes, so tight. go weightless. And I just remember like, like, what is this? This is insane. It's like a tight corkscrew. Yeah. Yes. So tight. It's insane. And then we get off the ride and another,

we're just like, we're fucked up. We're both like fucked up from it. And we're both like, we need a second to recalibrate. Do you remember the first thing we saw when we walked out? No. So we,

we walk out and we're both kind of like try you know trying to basically explain what each felt uh and kind of pause and we turn and we look and we we see a teen with his mouth on a fog machine like and then he pulls up and he blows it like he was like sucking the fog i don't even remember that i think i thought somebody was just vaping no because i saw him in the bushes put his mouth so the joke i made earlier was actually a thing i saw and didn't realize that is a vapor. That is a YouTube vapor who probably makes more than any of us a year. It's more money combined.

You really should become a YouTube vapor. Oh yeah. My lungs would be jacked to do that. I love that. Start working on, yeah, make it, figure out how to make a skull.

But yeah, like to come off something and be like, oh man, that felt insane. And like, it was like equal parts like not fun but fun and just to see like a careless teen suck a fog machine and blow it out for his like kind of paying attention friends i'm not i'm struggling to connect with the part of the story where you want to return to six flags frank fest well okay so immediately we both kind of acknowledge that because i said like the ride actually didn't other than my the problem with the seating it didn't hurt it was smooth it was scary but it wasn't like my neck hurt it wasn't

like some of those knots things where you're like jacked up afterward necessarily and your balls and dick are inside your body now they're fine they'll unleash slowly over like seven or eight weeks yeah it wasn't as bad as i thought it one day it'll just like pop my life would be much simpler if my genitals were destroyed by a roller coaster Is that a Truman Capote quote? The Sun Also Rises, part two. Roller coaster hijinks. I can finally focus on my studies, becoming a better man. No more childish pursuits. My butterfly collection.

Finally, I can focus. Mike, I thought you were going to say that you're going to have to go back to Six Flags on the day they're running the coaster backwards to get your penis to pop out. Good as new. So where did you head? Did you go to a maze at this point? This episode is going to be three at a.m.

Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'll get lunch and come back. You guys want anything? No, I'm good. So we're, okay, yeah, so we walk and there's a scare zone there with the fog. It's funny that I didn't realize that kids suck the fog. And then we wander for a while because it's hard, even though there's a map, it's hard to tell.

Very difficult to tell and we didn't have a good like idea of the of the land during the day yes because this is so this is a very spread out park yes very very spread out and there are elevations like there's a mountain it's why i didn't realize that at all yes eiffel tower-esque the king the king's island king's dominion parks had to have this too where there's like a big lookout tower you know you know who that was originally built for right hugh hefner what what we looked into this what was the story it is it's that is real he wanted it to be a he commissioned this roller coaster company to build a big tower for one of his playboy lounges okay and then when they finished building it uh he was like nah that looks like ugly shit

and he didn't want it and so then six flags was like we'll take it and that's like that is the tower yeah wow yeah yeah am i wrong here mike is that right that's right i'm looking at it again yeah it was built for hugh hefner uh and yes the whole night mike and i were like what is that like is it a ride what are you allowed to go up you are allowed to go up it hasn't been worked it's not working it hasn't worked in years the elevator isn't up to code yeah and they don't want to fix it i should say when i was up there for an event it was a couple days after those earthquakes we had oh no uh so didn't seem like a lot of those coasters were running like i think colossus started running as i was walking back to

my car i was like oh uh okay yeah like huh um yeah the towers feels like a the right kind of earthquake will take it down a lot of things here and i and so but we were before we knew it was a an attraction that was just wasn't open we were speculating like what is this giant tower and the conclusion i came to that's where the oldest teen stays and just watches over the park. The king of the teens. King and queen of the teens. We went to Sewer of Souls next, right? Yeah, we went to Sewer of Souls.

And Sewer of Souls had 3D glasses, which I thought was fun. That was cool. And this is where we met the king of teens. Yeah, he came down from the tower so we were wandering around up there and i was like i need i like any sort of mild buzz i had of course gone like just erased by my adrenaline and i was like is there like a can you get a drink there's nowhere to be found up on this hill eating or drinking maybe a water you could get

somewhere there's like a beer garden by justice league but you cannot leave the beer well we went back there yes we would do that so we were up there and i'm asking a few i think we asked a person or two like is there a place to get and they're like uh they don't seem to know they're not very sure or they just don't want to talk to us and then we also was unclear because we had the vip passes because of the press and we didn't know where to go so we were wandering we went to the front of the uh of the sewer of souls and we found uh an employee and we were like oh is this where the like the fast pass line is and he and we were blown away because he went oh yeah um right this way he goes you know what follow me i'm going to show you exactly what you want and we were

looking at each other and we're like oh my god i couldn't believe it that give this man all right this kid should be running the whole park he was future president future president of six flags he also directed you towards a restroom uh yes he told me everything i needed to know in an efficient manner very quickly here's where you can take a shit yes he helps me where you can leave your kid and tell the other kid to watch him while you take a shit your shitty kids can wait while you take a shit uh and we got to sewer of souls and we were like wow i mean we kept talking about that kid for like 30 minutes we were so blown we were enamored um sewer of souls uh pretty fun the 3d was actually kind of a fun gimmick pretty i thought i would say like a black light heavy

3d experience yes and this is where geo learned my technique of following the teens very closely so i wouldn't get the jump scares yeah so basically what mike does is he will like wait like because there's two of us we would go in with a group almost i don't think it was always teens yeah right it was always in the early 20s yes yeah and so he, really gravitates to them as they go early. But because he's so far ahead, I was just kind of, like, trailing a few yards behind. You were getting all the scares. What's that? You would get, like, the scares.

I would get, like, residual scares because, like, they would reset. But if the timing wasn't right, for a couple of the mazes, I was just seeing the resets. Which is, like, kind of me just kind of going by like, oh, hello. And like a teen like crouching behind a concrete block. Nice. The Tour of Souls, I'll say, kind of a cool aesthetic, but it really, how do I say it, really fires off the grand finale early. Because when you first walk in...

Oh, right, yes. And I felt like it was unfairly deliberate. They had a heavyset scare actor... Yes. ...standing in front of a giant mound of shit. And the implication being, like, that's his. And... That's the sewer also there were no other the shit wasn't an animatronic but i don't have a better word for it there were no other like moldings yes like that

it threw me off like the first thing you see is like the size of that couch a mound of shit and then nothing really ever after that yeah it was that was the shit was the climax yes that we saw first yeah it's the first thing you see because a lot of the mazes you know knots are something they'll have a big like puppet or something at the end and like that's the big finale so like you could imagine the big shit would be at the end it's the sewer of souls you gotta build towards the mound of shit yeah i agree with that you can't turn into the sewer of souls and see a giant pile of shit it's also interesting that the sewer of souls is also a sewer of shit yeah yeah it's a regular regular sewer well there's a commentary on our souls are just shit that is true just a couch-sized pile of shit that's what i say to myself every morning this

was maybe the least good place yeah i agree i think we started with the least good maze uh but the 3d gimmick was kind of cool i will admit that that's true they were paper 3d glasses so you know the moment the teens crossed the exit threshold they were just throwing them on the ground we should have taken them and gone back on justice league i know that would have been a really good idea uh so then we went there's another one up on the hill which is willoughby's mansion willoughby's resurrected oh i watched her walk through this this looks pretty cool this is just them ripping off the haunted mansion it's like you're walking through their haunted mansion uh and there's paint what are the paintings we there's like paintings of

the so when you walk in the entrance is a little hard to find like it it doesn't look like a mansion from the outside it just kind of looks like a quarter of a house uh but when you walk in they're trying to establish like uh this is the willoughby family uh and they have their portraits uh uh but like the moment you pass them they're kind of like um holographic so like you know mr willoughby looks normal and then like as you pass him from a certain angle uh he looks ugly you know whatever yeah like yeah like yeah and i told mike i was like oh i wish they would have set the scene like a little more of like early on i mean i don't know how else to put it. They showed the mound of shit too early because they should have just made me feel

like I was in the house and then let the scare actors kind of play the role. I think we need to put that phrase into our ride vernacular, showing the mound of shit too early. Show the mound of shit too early. Chekhov's gun introduced and then emptied immediately. It's a little bit of a metastatic situation

interesting sets on this one though like lots of sets like a higher production value than the sewer and it's not like a very uh there was the scare actors like felt varied like some you had who were just like kind of wandering and weren't uh trying to like jump out and scare you they kind of just look dead eye and uh uh like that one library room i thought was cool there were like kind of twin uh like girls in there sort of just kind of uh floating through i thought that was a cool moment i saw one there was like a room with dolls and mannequins with veils over their face one is clearly a person. Yes.

Yeah. There's that's, that's really will still get me like a room full of mannequins or dolls. And one of them is clearly a person. As soon as you turn the corner and you realize that that's the setup, I go, oh shit. Every time that happens, it's a good,

very effective because your brain is like, oh, maybe they're all human. So we do willoughbys then we're weighing tatsu but i'm so like skittish still even though i wanted to like i kind of say no because i'm a little freaked out about lying on my stomach so we don't do tatsu like the unique sensation but you say it's very smooth at least it wasn't i regret I regret not doing Tatsu.

Don't ever show your face in that Office Depot again. I know. Don't laugh your ass out of there. Speaking of which, I just got an email asking for feedback. Oh yeah, because you gave your phone number there. Yeah, I sent it for a reward. You walk in again and they go like, you came back. They always come back.

Should have done it twice. Should have done it twice. have done it like that lighthouse trailer you gotta spill your beans michael do you not know okay there's this movie coming out with willow yes yes yes paterson in a it's black and white they're in a lighthouse they're the only characters and i haven't anticipated a movie like this in years i know it's shot in like four by four yeah yeah it looks so weird for 1930 it looks like there's maybe a sinister mermaid at some point like it does look it does look wait i agree uh so we're trying to

so what do we do now i can't i'm misremembering uh well, we tried to go to... Superman. Yeah, we tried to go to Superman. Superman, shut down. Okay. But there's... Like, the way that Superman's positioned in the park, you have to walk for, like, a while down. Everything is almost like in cul-de-sacs. And so we walked all the way to Superman

where they could have put barriers up for a while because there's no shops or anything to go to. So they could have just put a barrier up and be like, Superman's under maintenance. But what was happening was just droves of people were walking all the way to Superman and there was like a single parking cone in front of the door. In front of the Fortress of Solitude. It's all the crystals from the Fortress of Solitude and it's like, no, closed. This is Superman the escape? Yeah, this is that thing that just shoots you finally escaped you gotta flew straight

up uh yeah so uh we were gonna do that and then it was closed and then it's like well we'll never be back here again like there's no way we're gonna walk back up here no uh so we walked back down and then did we did i get a drink or do we do another maze um well you got yeah you got a drink and then we had to sit in a little circle because you can't walk and drink yes there was literally like three tables they're like only here yes pens there's pens drinking pens which normally i would be annoyed by this draconian nature, but knowing that there are teens eating fog is probably for the best to not have open business.

You're probably right about that. No, yeah, I don't think we can trust people out at Six Flags to be drinking. Because we watched a guy that was maybe a teen, but also maybe in his 20s, tackle a trash can to impress his friends that's scarier than anything you've described that was a show that was entertainment man fights trash yeah tacklers of the eve but next thing we did mike was once you got your drink that's when we went past the coffins again

and saw that they were empty and we forgot and we went and saw what we were doing did we do oh i think we did riddler then the hypnotist yes so we did riddler so i said you know what i need to go on at least one or two others i'm trying to get better coasters and i had a drink and that riddler's revenge is a stand-up coaster and i love the riddler one of my favorite characters so i said well like all right i think it's good it looks like the hulk to me too the whole track i don't know if it's the same company i didn't look into it same color same color green green but similarly so i, you know what? This will probably be okay.

So we went on the ride and I will say I immediately, I didn't realize it before. It's Batman Forever themed. Edward Nygma's big like mind thing or whatever. When he's got the cable on the top of the cable boxes at home, it looks like a blender. There's a big version of that on the ride you get kissed from a rose at the end oh i wish i don't think there was any music uh there's also i posted on twitter the batman forever font is used elsewhere in the park yeah it's used as uh font in the boardwalk games yes like you can like win a prize as in batman

forever font or something yes it was very exciting so we went on rither's revenge and i'm trying to think so rither's revenge i will this won't be nearly as long rither's revenge i really liked it was fun stand-up it was no problem except the seat also yeah it's like a curved banana like a banana seat but curved up because it's a stand-up coaster that basically just goes up your ass. It's weird. Yeah, it was. It's uncomfortable.

I think that none of the seats in any of the coasters are cushioned because they would have to replace them more frequently. So it's all kind of just like hard rubber plastic that's more durable. But it releases a different euphoria. Riddler's prostate revenge the stand-up coasters for me are really for a five foot one man when that banana seat comes up my legs are like an inch off the ground so i'm not really standing yeah so did you have that too i had that issue as well and that it's if it locks early then you're like your feet aren't planted and so right you want your feet planted you want your

feet planted otherwise your body weight is on your taint it's on your taint i don't know what other way to say it no yeah so to describe it to scott like this so you get in and it's like there's there's shoulder restraints and yeah take a photo of the pictures uh i really should have uh another let's see if there's anything i can use to let me use uh this et doll as the seat uh so this is recorded this is going up that's okay this will be recorded so there's like sort of a shoulder harness and then there's this like banana bicycle seat i apologize to et for doing this to him edwin's watching edwin is now going to haunt me probably because he thinks this is erotic uh so the seat is here so it's like a little bit raised past so you have to like literally

put your leg over and then like drop into this weird seat it's like i'm so glad i'm filming this i just did a really crucial zoom let me turn at around so it's not like he's got his face uh so and then you like kind of like have to put you have to put your you have to like sit on it like this so it's like you're like it's like driving up into jason said i'm not paying attention to what you're conveying at all i'm just enjoying filming this so much and i will finish the video by zooming into leonardo uh his penis yeah i can't my zoom isn't good enough to see his little tail penis, but it's over there. Anyway, and that's that. Cut.

Yeah, so it's just an odd. It's odd. I don't know why it has to be like that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'll say there was one part of this that when we first got on the ride, we were trying to determine if our media badges were fast passes. Oh, right, right. determine if our media badges were fast passes oh right right and um we asked the team and he

looked at it he looked at it looked up at us looked at it again looked up at us he goes i don't know what that is and we were like oh okay uh he's like yeah he's like i've never seen anything i've never seen that and we're like okay thank uh and then he was he was they're all like up for it they're up they're up to help but you like almost have to like help them help you sure yeah they just don't practice having a job they just don't know they don't know they just don't know i don't even blame them for like being out like they're thinking about the college essays and whether they have to do an SAT too or not. Fair enough to the SATs,

let alone those subject specific ones. So Riddles of Revenge, good. I liked it. Fun ride, smooth. I would do that again. And then we're walking,

we pass the coffins and then I'm glad you said it because Gio was like, Oh, there's a hypnotist. We should go see the hypnotist. oh there's a hypnotist we should go see the hypnotist so there's a stage show to like twice in a night a hypnotist uh i i won't we we have a picture of the the billboard but we'll leave her name out of it uh uh we walk in it's a pretty big size theater it's like the size of the Indiana Jones stunt show. It's massive. It's massive. And it's up way up. It's like, it feels like there are 50 rows.

Yeah. Easy. Easy 50 rows. And she has brought, I would say probably 15 people on stage. 20? Yeah, 15 to 20. They're all sitting in folding chairs. And we sit down and we're like, oh oh it seems like it's just starting and it seems as if like her

warm-up is just confiscating their phones and then calling out to the crowd who is with that particular person so that they can then walk down to the stage and hold on to the person's phone and like mike did it feel like it was supposed to be a warm-up i don't know let's say that we were there for like probably 45 minutes i think i think like 30 or 25 minutes but nothing happened nothing fucking happened no hypnotism happened she put them to sleep i guess but that was it? We were waiting for something. We were waiting for something. Like a chicken. Yes. Like we're waiting for the standard.

And yeah, it was just so confusing. And so, and like, I was also, again, I'll leave it. I'm out of it. But like some very problematic banter happening with like stereotyping and whatnot. Who wrote the sypnotist set? Shane Gillis. Actually he did. He's getting a lot of work these days.

Shane Gillis got cast on SNL from Six Flags Hypnotist. They scout Groundlings, Second City, and Six Flags Hypnotism shows. So do you remember what happened at the very end let me can i say a joke she said that i kind of like okay yeah she was talking she's doing crowd she did so much crowd work so much crowd work and she was like talking like oh you're a couple but uh how old are you guys or whatever oh 24 and she's like uh oh you got any kids or whatever? And I'm like, no. She's like, hey, this is Valencia. You're behind. Wow. Wow.

I'm like, wow. Okay. Whoa. The crowd loved it. The crowd loved it. Yeah. And there's just, there's, she kept. A little bit of hypnotism. Yeah.

I don't know if we have to get into it. DM me for what it was. Yeah. Yeah. Things are a little different in the high sierras that is the official name high sierra oh yeah yes yes yes oh really yeah yeah wow the uh yeah but so the little bit of hypnotizing we saw was she would, uh, be like, focus on me, focus on me, focus on me. And then when I snap, uh, you'll fall asleep. Uh, but you could tell that she was really guiding these

people. Like they were just kind of like, not to say that I believe in hypnotism, but like she, she would snap and like, you can see her like really pushing on the person's head for them to like fall asleep because like some people maybe didn't know what she was asking for you think she just hit a pressure point and like knocked them out there were certain people where it seemed like it was more her than them like he's forcing them to sleep sleep uh also the before she started because basically the only trick i saw her do is make people like hug each other she made a young girl switch spaces because she felt she was underage and the older man next to her he was she's like i don't want you hugging her yeah i don't want you getting arrested tonight yes that's

what she said we're like oh my god what is this show yeah but now again i felt like it was a long time you said probably half hour but like we never really saw anything i i was waiting for just something like when you wake up you'll all be barnyard animals like and we were just like let's get out of here wow might happen as soon as you left that's probably true as soon as the fun started then or you got hypnotized without realizing it, thought nothing had happened. But you're missing like a 40 minute gap in your brain where you both were the chickens. You're actually still in Valencia.

You hypnotized. You thought you lived the next month of your life. Also, I'm looking through my phone and I realized just when we were at the full throttle bar, somebody tried to airdrop me this picture of the Pope with a cat in it. I don't know what it is. It just showed up on your phone. It just showed up. What is it?

It's like a cat poking out of a, I don't know what it is. I've heard of it. Do you have airdrop open to anyone? Yeah. I've heard of that. People in airports or stuff like teens playing pranks with airdrop. Here's us cheersing our dreamsicle. It does look like a glass of fog.

Yeah, so then we went, did a couple more mazes. We went to Condammed. Condammed. Yeah. Was that one closed or no? No, it wasn't. It's Condemned.

It's not Condammed. Oh. It's Condemned Forever Damned. Oh, I thought it was Condammed. Was that the one that was closed for some reason? Yeah, it was closed. We didn't get to do it. Condemned was closed?

It was condemned. It was condemned. Yeah. We were like waiting in line and then they're like, okay, the maze is down. And we're like, what? What does that mean? That all the teens ran away? Am I wrong?

Wasn't there a sign that had the E crossed out? You might be right. It says it on the website. Maybe then. But the team came out, because we had hopped in the FastPass line, so we were going to do Condemned and then Red Riding Hood. Red's Revenge, yes. Red's Revenge.

And this team comes out the front door of the Condemned building and goes, hey goes, hey folks, just to let you know, it's going to be quite a while. It's going to be quite a while. What could have gone wrong

with the maze? He told us, he goes, we had a foam board fall over and we're having trouble getting it back. Oh, I didn't even hear that.

Is that right? Oh my God. I think I know why it was condemned wow the foam board problem foam suggests light i gotta say i just remembered something when i was at magic mountain recently um i guess on fridays everyone wears helpful honda days pol. Oh, there was a helpful Honda Days ride. What? Wait, what was that? Or was it the Coming Soon ride? No, there was like a Honda.

Oh, whoa. When we were, one of our many times lost, it was like by the ripcord thing. And I go, look, Mike, it says Honda Days. Like helpful Honda. Oh, the ripcord thing that looked like it was gonna sail them to their desk oh i forgot all about it talking about that okay we gotta keep so it's like it's like a time it's a very confusing time because helpful honda days i

don't know if the nationwide promotion but in southern california it's like a lot of radio spots where it's like hey heard you uh needed your uh electricity bill paid uh we're gonna pay this is a helpful honda days guy and uh we're gonna pay your utility bills for a few months or like we're gonna pay for your karate lessons there's a ride of this yes there's some there's some ride themed of it but yeah that is the idea like the like like capitalism has eroded our society so much that like if you like yeah as a corporation like masks it doesn't help in some way when like the civilian support staff of the justice league are all well and very helpful it gets a little confusing in my work

for the justice league or honda yeah uh was red's revenge where i got uh a woman uh ran about 10 miles an hour into me and then and then grabbed me as if i was her significant other this is a guest yes yeah yeah scared guest someone just literally ran full speed away from a scare actor into me on red's revenge which i liked red's revenge i thought that was a nice that's a fun maze i into me on red's revenge which i liked red's revenge i thought that was a nice that's a fun maze i'll say uh red's revenge did a little something willoughby's did mixed it up not everything has to be uh someone jumping out yes you build a mood and atmosphere yeah they they had a nice little uh moment at the end where uh there was a like a teenage girl dressed as a little red riding hood like above you as

you walked underneath uh and she was lip syncing to some dialogue dialogue yeah yeah but it was good it was a nice showpiece yeah it was a good little moment some scary wolf through the good sets with the um forest you know like yeah but i'll say as say this was later in the night and this was the first maze where I started to see the teenagers get tired what was the one where I you said I made one of them laugh and they broke that was it

that was red yes yeah what happened she was like kind of checked out and like as opposed to like I won't do it too hard in the mic like screaming opposed to like i won't do it too hard in the mic like screaming she went like and you you you kind of clocked that and you go okay hello and she goes she laughed and said hi is that it do teens like you now maybe that was the acceptance yeah it's the turn that was the turn

uh yeah so then did we see this the rock and roll show before the last maze okay so i these are just i have to mention all this so there's a whole there's a stage show set up in the closer to the front of the park and this is not something i've actually even teased before on the show but i should have because it's something that lindsey and i have talked about a lot so there's a person that comes out and they have like a vocoder and they're like announcing this like graveyard band evil band and there's a dj or whatever and i look at the sort of lineup for who's there and i get very excited because we live around burbank and there was a play. There was a bar in Burbank that's closed. I forget what it's called.

It's had two stories. I forget what it's called, but I, Burbank bar and grill. Yes. Thank you. Okay. And there was a couple of times when Lindsay and I are trying to figure out

what to do on a Friday or Saturday. And I saw that at Burbank bar and grill, there was someone named DJ Ricky rocks. Have I mentioned this? I've mentioned this to you. This is a bar and grill actually located above like a color me mind type pottery store. Yes.

You had to walk up a very steep staircase to get to the bar and grill. Yeah. Which I did once and saw what the bar was like and then immediately turned around. I either went to years ago. It was fine. It was just burgers and chicken finger. Yeah. So we saw the like entertainment Friday or Saturday, I ate there once years ago. It was fine. It was just burgers and chicken finger.

Yeah. So we saw the like entertainment Friday or Saturday, DJ Ricky rocks. And I always be like, and Lindsay's like, no, we're not going to. And I found YouTube videos.

Lindsay and I are pretty sympathetic. Yeah. I found YouTube videos and like, he's a dude who I think does a lot Of like weddings And bars And he like plays Drums to DJ songs So I found all of his Reels on YouTube And we're watching them

And I'm like We gotta go see DJ Ricky Rocks One of these days And I always would say it And then she would Always put it off And then the Burbank

Bar and Grill closed And I was like No We're not gonna get To see him I look on this Fucking thing DJ Ricky rocks

and you didn't know that till then just till then oh my god and I was as the fog cleared the sign emerged and I was rock fest I was I don't even know I probably was like just not even making sense to you I was like oh

this guy this is a guy that rock and rust that's kind of it was like just not even making sense to you i was like oh this guy this is a guy that uh that's kind of it was like you like went oh dj ricky rocks and i i said oh i go uh and he goes uh he goes uh burbank uh he like wasn't he couldn't get it out. Lindsay, balls and body What? Tremendous. Homer yelling, Tremampoline! Tremampoline.

DJ Ricky Rocks comes out. He's wearing spooky makeup and then is playing on my phone. Hold on. He's playing. I'm forgetting. And of course, Dr.

Fright's going to be teaching everybody the thriller dance. Or bangarang. What? So he's just playing. What are you saying? That's the song. The name of the song is bangarang. Uh, is this Skrillex? What? So he's just playing drums. What are you saying? That's the song. The name of the song is Bangerang.

Is this Skrillex? Is it a Skrillex song, Bangerang? I think it is. I think it is. I don't know. Youth? What do you think? That's like six years old already.

Something like that. Yeah, look. The citizens of Valencia are getting juiced. Hand stuff is getting done tonight. The music is bumping. I'm texting. Hand stuff. Hand stuff. getting done tonight. The music is bumping. I'm texting to stuff. Hand stuff. I'm texting.

In an environment where there is no soap. Where is no soap? Apparently a large young pregnancy rate, even though the area is known exclusively for the hand stuff. What a place. What a place. Watch your brother. I'm going to for the hand stuff. What a place. What a place. Watch your brother. I'm going to do some hand stuff.

Let's show your brother the giant piece of shit. Let's do some hand stuff in the toilet. You were conceived at the coffin? The coffin challenge, are you saying? The 30 best hours of my life. Oh, there's baby boom every year and nine months after. At the coffin challenge.

Everyone in Valencia is born. valencia hospitals are rushed on june july yeah july 31st dj ricky rocks yeah ricky rocks so ricky rocks like texting lindsey video of your video and she's pretty she's pretty she's she's very happy for me that i got to see you're dreaming your dreams solo yeah you know one thing that made my jaw drop and you can hear it in the video is i think you picked up on it scott is that the the dj goes uh and come back at midnight we'll'll be teaching everyone the Thriller Dance. I turned to Mike and I was like, how fucking late is this open? And Mike said, I think one or two.

One AM. Yeah, one. I still can't get an answer. I pulled up the Fright Fest website. Four nights is open till two on weekends, though. The park opens, it does say 10.30 AM to 1 AM. I cannot find an answer of when Fright Fest, are the monsters unleashed every night

was that for the grand opening ceremony it's every night okay i think so i cannot find a kickoff time for when the park people running around every night yes somehow we downloaded the app to try to wrap our heads around it like just like where is some stuff and like you know blah blah and the app was closed yes according according to the app the park was closed yes the app said that all the rides were closed because it was fright fest and they hadn't recalibrated it to fright fest so you clicked on the hours button of the app and then a video of a teen came up uh i don't know there's wi-fi in parts of the park which is good because there was like no data reception no cellular reception up there um yeah so we just so then we were like we were trying to like what else do we got and then there was a whole section of the park we didn't even walk to we were thinking we were done and then we were like well what if we oh there's another there's aftermath and we walked i swear it felt like another

7 000 steps we walked to this other part of the park which is where the construction for that new ride is going yeah and we first we saw the ripcord that was a that thing with the flying yeah that was way before really yeah that was that was early in the night. Maybe I did die there. But there's something like that back by the West Coast coaster. You can sort of see it where we were, but we were much closer to it earlier when we were standing. It's just a thing where they just hook three people to a wire, haul them about 150 feet in the air, and just release them. You release yourself. Yes, you're right. You release yourself. And it's an release them. You release yourself. Yes, you're right.

You release yourself. And it's an upcharge. To release yourself? No, no. I mean, the whole thing. They release you unless you want to pay $15.

I'd rather do it myself than let a teen do it. Yeah, to me, it feels like you pulling the cord yourself is like fine print. Like, well, if you die, it was a suicide. Right, they roll with that.

Is Aftermath through the construction site? Isn't that in the very corner? It is, yes. It was way tucked away. Yeah. And a lot of it's outside. And that was like, oh, there's like a zombie apocalypse or outbreak or something. I liked it.

And I liked it too. They didn't quite fulfill the promise but they kept doing a thing where they would split you off into groups on different paths and then i would be like oh that's cool so we'll get split up and that's like scary and literally we would like round a bend and then geo would be back with me yeah i'd be like wait a minute like that was like i would he'd be like there was like a military guy because the whole thing is like it's an outbreak and he'd be like left left left and then he'd point to mike he like deliberately like separated she goes no you're right right right right and so then we like we go and i'm thinking i'm gonna have an experience mike didn't have right and then we

literally just like go around like 10 feet of fence and we're back with each other right and there's nothing in between because we did this thing uh delirium was that the name of it oh yes yeah blue lady vanderson for taking us to delirium that's a while ago already but they immersive theater experience that it was almost a little haunty yeah very haunty um but all we would get split up and you would truly have different experiences and i was like this was not that this was the idea the kernel of the idea but not the idea the color of the tarp was different for you it might have been i don't really remember yeah uh it had been puked on in his version yeah yeah puke tarp puke tarp but this

is where we saw the scare actor literally just quit yeah like he was just like we went through this little courtyard where they had like a pyro thing, shoot fire over the top. Oh yeah. That was cool. That was cool. It was, that was like, that was neat.

And the idea is like, it's kind of coming out of a building and you're in this, there's like a couple of, uh, like abandoned cars. You're kind of like, you're supposed to be in a city, I think.

And there's a couple of scare actors doing it. Like they were like, they were trying to scare you. And then as we came around the car, there was a guy just like arms crossed back against this like abandoned yellow cab and he was done like it's 11 yeah he was yeah i think he was honestly like waiting for his manager to come fire him how many yeah how many quitters on the first night of these did they get where they go oh

shit what did i sign up for they might hire over hire about like 40 yes we always hear about the people doing like um scary form and uh horror nights like loving like being into it being jacked i cannot speak to the fright festers well i i just mean like maybe even with those there's still like 10 of them are like i can't do this for that's true 45 days very hoarse of course like from all the screaming it's exhausting there's like a when i worked on the universal lot i um uh i was there like last fall so like around this time and uh where we had to park i I actually had to walk through the part of the back lot, basically through a line of people waiting to get into the Horror Nights attractions down in the back lot. And as we'd walk up there, like next to where Nick and I, Nick Mondernach, I think past guests. Yes, Marvel Mania episode.

We would park next to their holding area and the vibe uh was like really positive and kind of cool of like the horror night scare actors were it kind of felt like a theater troupe yes yeah it felt like they were like almost warming up uh i just ran into him he said something he was talking about this and how it seemed like they were like trying out types of scares on each other like what if i did this and how it seemed like they were like trying out types of scares on each other. Like, what if I did this? Yes. Yeah.

Like there was like this like exercise happening. Workshopping scares. Workshopping scares. And so then we, uh, on the last like night of it, like we were walking to our car after kind of a late night of work and, uh, they had set up like these sort of like these couple of like not tents, but like overhead tarp type tents like that. You would like cover almost like a tailgate tent like type thing. And they had set it up to create their own mini maze for themselves to like go through

and scare each other. It's so great. Like I hear it's it is like doing the run of a play where like everyone gets very familial it is like a full company and then the last night there's this catharsis there's this great release at the end when it's all done yeah that is so charming it was very charming very charming everybody releases with each other i'm sure some of that happened if it's like a play some of that's happening yeah for sure um so then we make the long trek back to the front of the park and that's i think when i looked up the

steps and i was like 22 000 steps can you look what is that mileage because the health app will put we'll give you the episode before'm curious. Do the math. 10,000 is five miles. It's 11 miles. Something like that. Like 10,000, it's like, oh, that's a good healthy day. 11.1 is what mine says. I got it.

Great. Wow. So we walk out. We're leaving. It's around midnight. We see all these old Warnerer bro like looney tunes like statues big statues and they're all just like they haven't been repainted or retouched it on there's a shift manager do you remember this no there's a shift manager with a flashlight in his

mouth and he was writing uh he was signing people out on a trash can oh yeah it was like that was bizarre he was no he was doing it when we walked to the maze and then on the way back yes and it was in the middle of the scare maze so we like felt like he was a character but he was just you were you're right signing people out he was just signing people out for the night and i was like you gotta do this somewhere else like just pick a table at like the dining area right go go go you stay i have to right what was your lunch again and then i was very excited because i saw taz and mrs taz in the window mrs taz well that was that's on his mom right that's mrs taz or am i wrong is it his mom taz mania yeah wow uh so we're leaving and again i'm i am pretty worried my car is not going to be there.

We're walking. The car is there. Now, we've been in there since 430. So it's midnight. So, you know, seven and a half hours or whatever. My car has charged 12%. I thought it was 6%. Now, I don't have a good scale for this.

At a regular charging station. Well, at a regular charging station, it takes two and a half hours. For a plug, it should take six hours. It was six miles, right? Six miles. Yes. I could get six miles on the battery, which means that the amount of power in those outlets were so low. Oh, boy.

It got me something. So, that's good. i can serve some energy and then we just one last laugh and we left valencia yeah went down the hill uh vowing to return to six flags truly now i hope we're invited back to some sort of press event you're not gonna listen we'll see they're gonna go behind a paywall they're not gonna go behind the paywall so hopefully there's some they need their money to give to they need the five dollars to give to the the the coffin challenge survivors the one that's a pretty large percentage of that six six six dollars yes so i mean just a fantastic night wow honestly like i said like it it fucking sucks and i loved it i do really want to go back soon i've never been so happy to miss a podcast the ride related event

oh no you were missing out so it's the least up my alley jason what about you how are you feeling after you heard this story uh you know i i probably would have been i i think i would have been enjoying it because i would have had the experience with you guys i think the mazes would have worn on me one maze at knots last year i was like okay at least i had a zap. At least I had like a laser tag gun. You don't get that in most mazes. That's true. I mean, these scares, though, even though I was cowardly, weren't that bad. Yeah.

I watched a couple of them. And the name, there's a YouTube channel, and I have to give the person credit. It's Sharp Productions. there's a YouTube channel and I have to give the person credit. I it's sharp productions and, uh, it's a woman going through these mazes. And I guess that night, if you came with a camera person, you could ask them to like,

Oh, can you, can I go in? Can you hold the line a little bit? And like, she essentially is going in with no one in front of her, no one behind her, uh,

and just her camera person following her so she's getting every scare and i it seems like she did every maze at knots and six flags and the footage looks good but i really have to give her credit because just a single uh person walking through the mazes they everyone's going for you like yeah well we i'm sure i'll say this either i have said this and you've heard it on the episode or i will say it is that when i went into the us maze the party i was with made sure we they held everyone off so we got all of it oh wow four of us in the us maze that's great uh which which was scary but good it was good to experience it like that um so yeah but safer with teen bodyguards if you yes i was yes for sure and then at horror nights they're probably like late 20s

more or maybe my age you get that level of quality that comes yeah partial college graduation so anyway wow oh my god quite a journey yeah i'm glad you didn't twist your ankles on that classic Valencia cement. Yeah. We'll be back. Yeah. There's more scares than just in the mazes. They're all over. They're all around.

The scare of your car possibly being. The limited Panda Express menus at the Express Express locations. Is there a Christmas event at Magic Mountain? Will there be a press event we would be invited to for that? I would love that. I love Christmas time. I love the magic of Christmas. You can be the hunt guy

and I'll be the Yuletide man. Man, you classed it up too. You're not going to be no guy. Yuletide boy? Oh. I like that too yeah isn't shared in the yuletide boy no wassling for me just coco please the scare actors hand out uh candy canes yeah it's just elves handing out they unleash the elves at the start of the night

lo a child has been born to us. In the place where the coffin is. There's the manger challenge. You've got to sleep in a slightly elongated manger and also not get hoof and mouth disease from all the pharmaceuticals. Not pass out from frankincense fumes. Yes. All right.

Well, let's say goodbye to our own personal slider of the pod, Anthony Gio, you survived podcast. Haunt Cast. The Fright. The Cemetery Gate. Thanks for joining us. Get the head of you back. Thanks for having me.

Send us to the gift shop. Anything you'd like to plug or where can people find you I'll plug Check out This spring There's a new show that I'm writing on Called Duncanville It'll be on after the Simpsons

Before Bob's Burgers Oh yeah So keep an eye out for that And then on Twitter A- i o e mostly wga historic victory yeah we did it david goodman if you're listening congratulations and that's cool if he's listening to podcast uh he's fending off the monsters of anti-union and as for us keep subscribing uh here at podcast uh for now honk ass uh the fright the cemetery gate uh uh two three episodes every month check us out on twitter uh

you're probably following all that stuff you know behind the paywall you know what it is. All right, see you. Bye. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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