Podcast: The Ride - Unlocked: Super Mario Ice Capades with Mr. Belvedere

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

Enjoy this sample of P:TR - The Second Gate. Find even more Second Gate episodes at Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide This one time at the Ice Capades, Mr. Belvedere actor Christopher Hewett played King Koopa. With appearances from Jason Bateman, Alyssa Milano, and Princess Toadstool by way of Mae West. FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: ⁠https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride⁠ BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: ⁠https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride⁠ PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST ⁠https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

G'day, it's Courtney Act here and guess what? I have got a new show, R&R with Courtney Act and I want you to check it out. I hate small talk. I want to dive into the depths of a person's mind and quickly. So join me and my fabulous guests like Nicole Byer, Adore Delano, Tom Daley, Katia, Margaret Cho, Willem and more. As we talk about life's big issues in a way that only a world famous multi-hyphenate drag queen can. If you're looking for some rest and relaxation, you've come to the wrong space.

This show goes hard and deep. We're talking about the scary stuff, so tune in to R&R with me, Courtney Act. New episodes come out on the Mum Podcast YouTube channel and on the R&R podcast feed every Thursday, brought to you by Factor. Forever. Ah! Boo boo.

Dog. Five, four, three, two, one. Well welcome to Podcast The Ride, the second gate on ice. I'm Scott Gardner joined for these capades by Jason Sheridan. Hi. And Mike Carlson. Yes, I'm here for the capades. This was a question I had right away, and when catching up on these materials,

is a capade something? And what I have determined is it is not anything. Yeah, there's no, was this invented for this event? I think so. Is that what you're thinking? Well, I think what it is, is a play on escapades, but it is ice capades. Oh, wow, I didn't actually think about that.

You're right. We've heard this phrase our whole life, but I never really meditated on it. I just heard capades and thought it was like, that's what I thought. Trials or championships. I thought like, well, you must be really good if you make it into a capade. Well, because ice capades are, they were much older than I thought they were.

Oh, yeah. They ended much longer ago than I thought. They went out of business. I thought, oh, the ice capades must still be around. Surely not the case. Like, it's been about 30 years. I also thought that for sure the icecapades were still going on. Mid-90s.

Yeah. Gone. We'll get into, yeah, it seems like you guys did too, maybe. I found some interesting icecapades stuff, but what we're focusing on here and delightfully so is. Well, let me read how this is where the topic came from. This is a Twitter suggestion from Nick Topolos, who I met at Tamo Shantor. Correct. Right, Nick. That was you. OK, well, hi, if that's the case. So anyway, with Super Nintendo Land

and the Mario Brothers movie coming out in 2023, I can think of no more topical thing to cover than Super Mario Brothers at the Ice Capades 1989, featuring Jason Bateman, Alyssa Milano, and Mr. Belvedere as Bowser. Ah, great thing to see in the replies. Done and done. Don't have to twist our arms. So delighted by this. And as a prerequisite for this episode, you may want to watch this clip.

It's a lot less daunting than other things that we might send you to. This is, I believe, a seven minute sequence. So give it a watch. Sure, we're back. We're in the range, I think, of Letterman Green Goblin in terms of like a nice, nice easy runtime. And similarly, well, hey, it's like a really stupid thing

with a really good actor, I guess. I'm gonna think a good actor as a big green guy, like kind of for children. And it's, it's very dumb and fun. I love this thing. Yeah. It's right up our alley. It's another one of those things where you're like, I don't know how we didn't know about this our whole lives. I didn't at least. I don't know if you've ever seen it before. I did. And I might've mentioned it on the show with this context that I remember this being a big video, at least in my estimation, kind of right when internet video was starting to happen, like even pre-YouTube. I remember I'd go to something called iFilm that would

collect kind of odd bullshit. Like we probably all had what ours was before it all got codified into YouTube. But I remember being sick, either way it was while I was in college and I was so thrilled like, oh my god, I've been waiting for this forever for like receptacles for just bizarre like I just always wanted to be on The receiving end of like found footage and weird like this was on a tape and which seems so quaint now now We just have everything we always want right at our disposal, but this was the thing that made me go yes We are heading into a great era. I've never heard of this. I can watch this on my computer.

Cracking your knuckles, booting up your real player. Yeah, probably. Because it is an insane file format that no one remembers. I used to, you know, you would try to figure out different play, like, movie players to play certain files that you had. You had to. You like downloaded trailers. When you downloaded the Spy Who Shagged Me teaser.

Right. You had like downloaded trailers when you downloaded right by you shag me teaser, right? I remember in college learning about like I Did not fully know what mp3s were and some was like, oh here's how you import all your music off CDs into Windows media player and by the time I finally done it did that a week later someone's like oh iTunes is available on PCs now, but I didn't know enough about like control all Select files drag to iTunes like so I

Reimported them all like just destroyed a gateway PC probably by doubling up on like mp3 files. Oh and I have two thoughts here. We'll get back to your thought but I have to quick quick okay wait so you didn't have a period where you were using like Winamp and mp3s for like a couple years before iTunes came into play? No. Scott? Yeah yeah. You were the Winamp era. Uh-huh. I know about Winamp. Galaxies and your yeah uh, right. Yeah. It was that kind of awkward time before it got a corporate. It was like senior year in high school for me where it was like,

did you know you can download every song you want for free? And you're like, it doesn't seem legal, but like there was a wild West. No one knew exactly what was going on and running through sick visualizers to visualizers with the greatest. I would just come home from school. I would play like, cake the distance on Winamp and I would visualize it and I'd get an instant messenger and talk for three hours to people I just saw at school.

Yeah. Boy, those are the devil. You know you're a 2000s kid. Yeah. People are getting all the feels from what I just said right now. I would, no, my routine was come home, watch an hour of Kids in the Hall on Comedy Central,

which I did for years. Even senior year? It might've stopped by that point. Okay. Yeah, even senior year. I would get on InstaMessenger eventually. I don't think I had a full account until like 10th grade or so but I would come home and I would read comic book news and message boards and stuff. Senior year? For years. Okay. Why are you holding him to the fire on senior year? I'm just wondering, because what he's

saying seems like it would be more of a freshman or sophomore year. I don't know why that is. Freshman year, we had no internet in the house. And then senior, I remember helping my dad boot up. There were those crucial years. We got internet like in eighth, my eighth, when I was eighth grade, I think. And then like kids came over and they like downloaded a naked picture from my computer And I was like not looking because I don't want to get in trouble. No

Yeah, you wait you turned away from the screen. They had a literally not out away from the screen It might have been like it was like a Pamela Anderson in Playboy picture and I wouldn't look at it Cuz I was there are they trying to get you to and you won't turn around so but it's your computer Oh, yeah downstairs. Yeah, I wasn't so then are you like guys you have to get this out of here whatever I don't know system you have to run. We got to defrag the whole thing. Well, that's fun I probably was protesting but my friend had that happen basically where like his mother searched the computer and he called me one day and he was like so despondent. He's like, they found out what I was looking at. This was a couple of years later.

And then he like walked over to my house and I remember him just like head down, like he had been like chastised by his mother. Can I look at boobs here? Can I boot up the stuff website? It's the interesting, the old internet is a, I've found memories of it mostly. Yeah, yeah, except for the day of the nudity. Except for the like airbrushed Pamela Anderson Playboy photo from 1992 that took an hour to load in my eighth grade. And I was like, get this off here, you guys.

To get to this specifically, and I do love, what a great excuse to talk about this thing because it is, this is the month of Super Nintendo and we may have been already, listeners might have been already, or you're about to go, It's in the air, but here we get to talk about maybe the first iteration of a Mario themed experience that you could go to a place and experience. I could be wrong, but in ads for the Ice Capades, they are pretty specific about this is exclusive for the first time anywhere, Mario and Luigi Live. So without this, we don't get to the big universal version that we have so many years later

That's true. This is the baby. This is the birth of it, I guess. Yeah. Yeah so this the folk the context here, this is a sequence from a Much longer special that I think well, oh wait is it ABC? I might be I'm not sure about the network, but either way, the special is called The Ice Capades with Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano. It aired on December 7th, 1989, a date which will live in infamy.

And I had only seen this clip in context, or out of context, not knowing the full thing, but three weeks ago, I had no idea that this entire special was uploaded to YouTube. Oh, right, right. And I watched the whole thing the other night. It's a delight.

If you wanna go deep diving on this, I would recommend the entire thing because you get pretty good ice skating, really good physical comedy routines. I guess I had no memory of what the ice capades were or what else there was or what's happening while they're changing the big sets. But there's this whole routine with a conductor who's like, it's a really like spastic physical comedy routine where he's attached to the ground. So he's able to just like swing back and forth and flail wildly and then there's like a cop who interrupts a

couple skate that's really good the whole special is fun I'll bring up a couple other things from it but obviously it doesn't reach the the heights of this Mario sequence which is so fun did you guys ever go to to this to what we've talked about no No, such as such on ice, but no, you don't recall going to the ice capaids. Never. No, we went to Disney on ice and Sesame Street live. Those are the big ones. But that wasn't on ice. That was on floor. Yeah. That was on floor. Sesame Street on floor. I would catch, you know, we would watch them on TV every now and then. It was kind of hard to escape figure skating in the 90s in terms of TV programming is very

popular a lot of various it became like besides the Olympics and the popularity of that of the Winter Olympics that like there were a lot of like Disney spell there were you know Disney like fantasy on ice type specials and stuff like that is the was this the 50th. That's what I was watching There are is that um well this it seems to have aired as a special for at least three years in a row Okay, and I don't I think the next year might have been they might have actually like saved the 50th Okay, for that, but I am wondering if we need to go further diving into the ice capades.

Well, that's immediately what I thought. Yeah. I watched the Simpsons, the Simpsons family. Big stuff Simpsons. Well, that's the next year. Yeah. The big Simpsons are walking around. Incredible.

And Big Stuffed Homer trying to do the choking Bart gag is very fun. I mean, there's a lot of funny stuff on it. Yeah. Choking Bart physicalized in an arena. Yeah. With commentary from host Peter Scolari. Peter Scolari. Okay, that's the one I was watching. Okay.

Host Peter Scolari. Uh-huh. And he does a little, yeah, he does, he does a couple things in it. So it's it, but it's, yeah, that's branded 50th anniversary. Yeah I think that one's more the proper 50th. The year before that I didn't watch much of this one but hosted by Kirk Cameron featuring appearances

from Rita Moreno, the Jets, the Smurfs and the California Raisins. So Mario might just be the tip of the iceberg, the iceberg in terms of like bizarre branding that happened at the ice capades, which is part of its whole history because we've talked about it before. I forgot this little bit of history that Disneyland when it opened would not have had costumed characters

of Mickey and Minnie and everybody except that they borrowed them from the ice grades. Realized that need right before opening, thus resulting in these bizarre chopped up face versions of the characters. So that skaters could see. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's why they're so huge and why the sight lines are... why do they have big triangles out of the peripheral vision? Right. Yeah, it wasn't they weren't like wounds. Yes. Yeah.

This is how it looks like they had like moles removed. Yeah. Right. Due to sun damage. My mousetrap, I always fall for it. I always think it's just cheese laying down. I always fall for it. No matter how many times.

No matter how many times. Mark, Mickey. Now I have six holes in my head. The, on the 50th anniversary, when I, yeah, it feels like we could do a whole podcast, like a year long podcast on the ice capades, maybe. Maybe not a year, but like six months. Six months, yeah. But it definitely was like, oh yeah, okay, wow,

this is all this shit that we wanna talk about. We keep, it's great when you find areas that keep us going, all right, we found more oil. You get a lot of juice. And on the 50th, they're going through their lineup of people. And I'm mixing up clips too, because there's one with the Flintstones. Did you see that? Flintstones doing some sort of like tap, like one singular sensation type of a number where you're

like, there is my night. And the show Yogi bears in that up here. But the way I think it's the 50th where they're going through the list of people and then they go and featuring like blah, blah, blah, Dave and Joey. And there's two clowns and I go, who are Dave and Joey? And then if you go through it and you're watching and Peter Scolari explains that there were two legends of the Ice Capades, two other clown legends, Bitty and Batty. And that Dave and Joey are the kids of Bitty and Batty. So Dave and Joey- The second generation ice clowns?

Ice clowns, you search them, you can't find it. Like immediately if you search them them it doesn't come up So there's not they're not particularly famous Unless I just was searching the wrong thing But well these specials take a lot of time to explain stuff to you They all have from what I could tell if the Kirk Cameron one and this one the whole thing the device in this one is Jason Bateman explaining everything to Alyssa Milano Mansplaining you might say. For some reason, Alyssa Milano does not

know anything about the Ice Capades, and he knows every single performance. Like, you don't know them? You got to know them. And you don't know Nintendo? Well, you haven't. All right, here's what it is. There's King Koopa.

He's called himself, what, the Video Prince? The Video Prince. You haven't played until you played with the video prince. Really strange. She barely talks. But I guess just to say, I think like maybe the reason that these specials are this way that they're so explainy is because no one outside of this organization knows any of this.

Right. We better spoon feed it. Kirk Cameron really talked to everybody like they're in third grade. Right. So yeah, that makes a lot of this. Right. We better spoon feed it. Kirk Cameron really talked to everybody like they're in third grade. Right. So yeah that makes a lot of sense but yeah I was like oh there's a whole world here of like yes second generation clown skaters. Hobo like specifically maybe hobo clown skaters. Oh well that's a big yeah. Little tramp Charlie Chaplin derived like hobo skaters. Yikes. Oh my God.

And we have to go to like, there's gotta be a hall of fame. There's gotta be a clown hall of fame, right? In some secondary city, secondary market talking about is the boat that the guy who owned Bozo before David or kept bottom clay. He was in the clown hall of fame, claiming he was the first Bozo before David Arquette bought him, he was in the Clown Hall of Fame claiming he was the first Bozo when he was not. And then he was removed from the Clown Hall of Fame when they realized that the error and there was a big controversy.

Not only you immediately answered Jason's question, yes, Jason, there is a Clown Hall of Fame. And there's been, it's been, it has all been. There's a fraudulent one too as well. It's like when we talked about carnivals and such and there's like, there is a carnival history museum like in Florida about carnival folk and stuff. There's a hall of fame for a lot of things. Yeah.

And most of them are like a closet in someone's house. There's not, it's not like, there's not a Cleveland Rock and Roll Hall of Fame type, like building for the Clown Hall of Fame, I don't think. Who knows? Unless we're underselling it, maybe people can tell us the Clown Hall of Fame is spectacular. Yeah, I don't think there's like a Jan Wenner of clowns that is like in kind of in charge of it and it's big committee. It's been so great our whole lives to hear all about Jan Wenner, these fascinating, the titans of rock, the Irving Azovs, who is cooler than these names that we hear about forever and then it cuts to the guy.

He's just this little angry guy who only talks about business. But he has another generation, right? Isn't there another, is there a son Wenner, like the clown children? I don't know. Oh,'t there another one? Is there a son winner? Like the clown children? I don't know. Oh, I don't know. Is there a young one?

Another A's off. Yeah. I don't know. Love Yon winner child. Is he a skater? Nice skater? No, I just mean it's continuing. Oh yeah.

There's there's India Rose winner. There's Theodore Simon winner. Alex Alexander Yon winner and Gus winner. Yeah. We have two more too. The winner, Nepo babies, the clown icecapade, Nepo babies. Say we have not used the phrase Nepo babies yet on the podcast. And yet with our discussion of guys, it is certainly a related notion, like

net, but you can't have guys without running into a couple of Nepo babies. That's true. Yeah. certainly a related notion. Like, but you can't have guys without running into a couple of nepo babies. That's true. Yeah. And Jason's right. Dave and Joey are nepo babies. Dave and Joey, the hobo clowns from the icecapades are nepo babies. Sorry. That all played out. Burst your bubble. Yeah. The nepo baby discussion. They had a leg up.

They had a leg up. That was just a crazy like end of year. Like, ah, Christmas is coming. Let's squeeze in one more discourse. It's rile everybody up. It's like when you eat at a nice restaurant, they bring you a little cookie or little like candies afterwards. Ooh, more. A-seize-ment. Yeah, a-seize-ment. Exactly. Yeah.

You made me forget, or you made me recall, I'm sorry, that in with there, when you said there's a Yogi Bear thing, I forgot it made me laugh so hard when we were watching this the other night that we found an ad for the ice capades is coming to Montreal, so it's all in French. And, and they're mentioning he was going to be there like from Hannah Barbera. And then the phrase that they they they mentioned the Flintstones But then they throw in yogi or s Which is barren French

Yogi or so do you say it's so mean Scariest if I held that at my son, he would cry Or if I need to punish him for any reason, that's the punishment. Just yell that. The local commercial, the commercials that are often embedded in some of this stuff are really, that's where the gold is.

I mean, I don't even think he even got to it in the Discovery Zone, but one of the Discovery Zone commercials had a tag at the end of like the local card of like new Discovery Zone, open in Las Las Vegas come meet Zbop and Ronald McDonald Yeah, it's like oh, man. I wish there was footage of that Ronald and Zbop When they were all part of the McDonald's family Well actually and speaking of that. There's the one other thing didn't it? This is like all if if as if I needed to fully prove that we need to do more ice capades

So here's the oh and one more thing in 1973 they hit there was an ice capades sketch called the golden hamburger caper Oh, I missed this starring the McDonald's game There was a McDonald's on wow in the early 70 the golden hamburger caper The good the hamburgers. The golden hamburger caper? The hamburgers were golden? Or the caper is golden? Well, the arches are golden for sure.

Oh, right. That's why. Yeah. Wow. There was, were they like the full on like croft ripoff look? I think so. At that point? Yeah, yeah.

I found a couple of pictures. That's kind of the vibe. Wow. Okay. Well, clearly more ice capades to do but for now We focus on I think I guess we will determine if they ever topped this moment Yes, it's a very high bar this this Mario sequence. This is so delightful Where to begin? I mean we could just kind of go in order I guess and introduce these people as they come.

As we were saying, there's Jason Bateman has a lot to get through to Alyssa Milano, who's clueless about all of it. Yeah. Oddly, I would say though, that this is, even with that, that this is a more chipper Jason Bateman than I'm typically used to. It's kind of weird seeing him be earnest and smiley. There's none of the now his brand snark.

Right, right. I mean, you can see the hint of it. You can see the early version of it here. He's wanting to shake off the child star shackles. Yeah, he's a little sarcastic and a little condescending, but it's not to the point. He knows like this is my bag. This is what it's going to be my meal ticket. 25 years later. She was on Who's the Boss around this time, right? And what was his? Uh, well, he's on the Ricky Schroeder one, right? So it was Silver Spoons, but then another one called the Hogan family. Yeah, because it was a one with Valerie Harper, right and then she left There was a tell you that I believe more than I know My my mixing in Mike's wheelhouse Valerie Harper Hogan family. Am I crazy?

now people are yelling of course at their podcasting device and Yes, yes, they are not I think nobody I think no one has the history of the Hogan family Yeah, I believe I am correct that Valerie Harper left the Hogan family after the first season well, it's incredible then that he was able to still perform and do a good job in this special given the The immense drama on the Hogan family. Yes, and I think maybe was she replaced by Sandy Duncan Scott's why does Sandy Duncan never go away? God. She just circles like the crows that are circling the record right now. Anyway, it's the two of them and they are they're in pretty like, uh, Dawson, 80 sweaters. I don't always love to call that out,

but both like it's a, it's a great like dull Brown one and then a great like reveal some of the shoulder one. So they're in prime 1989. And, um, in this particular moment they've gone backstage and I'm not sure why, but there's a bunch of youths playing it's just Nintendo generically Jason Bateman you don't know Nintendo you gotta look at come on you gotta try Nintendo does he sit yell I don't believe it Nintendo was that the lines I don't believe it Nintendo yeah I could not see by the way a Nintendo entertainment system anywhere in this shot.

Just the TV. Maybe not. Oh yeah, that's possible. Is that, am I crazy? I'll double check that. That sounds correct. Well, I think in general the understanding of what is happening with Nintendo on the part of the writers is a little not I think I think there's some fuzziness I would say. Yeah they might not have been as into it or as knowledgeable.

Yeah yeah yeah. Because then we get an explanation of the stakes of Mario and it is this. Okay okay we are in yes yeah. I'm wrong it's in the very Left back of the frame. It's okay. It's kind of obscured by People and bodies and stuff. Okay, so Nintendo is reflected the video Prince was right on that one He explains we are in the mush We're in the Mushroom Kingdom and we have to rent rescue Princess Toadstool from Bowser the dastardly king of the Koopas now You see those things in our way right there

Those are the Koopa Troopas the evil minions of Bowser and at that exact second that he says that there are no Koopa Troopas on screen It is definitely goombas And he and he says and now and somehow we have to get around them Which is really that that's the big challenge if you aren't a Mario fan the big challenge is how we have to get around them, which is really the, that's the big challenge. If you aren't a Mario fan, the big challenge is, how do you possibly get around, somehow you have to get around the Koopa Troopas?

Right. Yeah. I don't know what method you guys use. I would just, I never found one. The first one killed me and then you stopped playing. I never played, yeah, yeah. I never made it past Mario one, one. Yeah. Turned it right off. Yup. Right. Well, not, I'm dead it past Mario 1-1. Turned it right off. Yup, right, well, not...

Went back to my... I'm dead and I accept the consequences. Yeah, went back to my Bible. It's the real recreation. So then, but then things go awry and I think I have the clip timed up for this, let's meet the villain of the piece as the characters do because there's kind of a wobble on the screen, this is not your ordinary game of Nintendo. What's that?

Oh no, oh no, it's a computer virus. It'll release all the evil forces stored up in the computer. And we know how evil they can be. Who could have done such a dastardly thing? King Koopa! Ha ha ha ha! King Koopa? Hey man, that looks like Mr. Belvedere.

Don't you adore chaos? No! Isn't the company divine? No! Um, anyway, that's, uh, the in- Well, I mean, what a- I think this would be fun no matter who was Bowser, but how spectacular that it's Mr. Belvedere of all people.

It's awesome. Yeah. Does he say, isn't cacophony divine? Yeah, I believe so. Is that a real, is that a sentence that I guess makes sense? Cacophony divine. Sounds like Bowser. Oh, that's the character of Bowser.

Right. He's, oh, me oh my. He's Dr. Smith from Lost in Space. Really? Dr. Smith. Same character. It's so good. I'm trying to think, yeah, like put, yeah, around this time who else, I mean anybody, like John Ritter did it. Tony Danza was King Koopa. That would be good too. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. With this makeup on and. Inadvertently forward thinking, who was talking in 1989 about getting computer virus

on their entertainment, on their Nintendo entertainment system, you know? Yeah, that's true. Uh-huh, right. I'm sure it's much easier to now with every video game system having to be connected to the internet at all times? Well, it doesn't have to be.

Oh, okay. Yeah. But it can be. Yeah. I mean, mine are, most are, most are constantly on online, but you can turn it off. Not Jason's. Jason's of Jason's techno is paranoid. When's the last system?

PlayStation 2. Whoa, Scott? We, you. Okay, Scott, more recent than Jason. Yeah, wow. Yeah. And you missed out on Winamp. And you missed out on Weeeww.

Yeah, Jason is like 10 years behind every technology trend. Yeah. Um, I, well, so it's shining a light on issues. And then we get to see Mr. Belvedere, the great Christopher Hewitt, who maybe it has to be addressed as probably most famous today for the story of when he crushed his balls. He sat on them. Um, do you, do you know the, do you know the real story of this or do you,

like we could talk about where, like what supposedly was, but then I looked up the, uh, the truth. I don't think I do. I, I know a little bit because Patrick Monahan, Patty Moe on Twitter regularly brings up, remember the time Mr. Belvedere sat on his balls and they had their shutdown production for a few days. Oh good, I'm glad he keeps it in the consciousness.

So yeah, the story here, supposedly it was that he was late for a table read and everybody's annoyed that he's late and then he comes in as if it hadn't happened with a briefcase even. Go, sorry everyone, hello, hello, good to see you, ah, another episode awaits. What side jinx will the famous mr. Belvedere get you? And then like that's how I always visualized yeah, yeah, and then that is the end of that table read But there's actually there's a whole story here that Mel magazine got into in a really fun article Because the problem here is that this story comes from the book gasping for airtime written by Jay Moore

And this is a story supposedly told to him by Adam Sandler. When Adam Sandler was doing a guest shot on Mr. Belvedere. Problem is no such thing ever happened. And this is elsewhere in a book that is mostly him complaining about people of color getting on instead of him. And it's oh it's a spectacular book. And how he was, J. Moore's back was against a wall and there was nothing he

could do except steal someone's stand-up routine and transcribe it into a sketch which erred. This happened. Wow. What later became a studio 60 plot line really did happen and it was J. Moore and the whole book is like but what was I supposed to What later became a studio 60 plotline really did. Oh wow. And it was J Moore and the whole book is like, but what was I supposed to do? There was no other. Did you read the book or you read it? Yes. Oh, I've read the book Gaspin for Airtime. But what year was that out? I don't know. A while ago. Okay. Did you read it? Because you were like, he's just an SNL guy and you were interested in. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I was like, you know, he's never specifically bothered me.

I would like to know if I should be specifically bothered by J. Moore. And you got an answer is now, as anyone who reads the book would be, you end up specifically bothered by J. Moore. Anyway, so story is a lie. So what's the actual deal? Well, comedian Doug Benson eventually outs himself as the actual source of the story. But even that there's still a couple links in the chain because basically he lived with Rob Stone, who was the oldest son on Mr. Belvedere. Okay.

And Rob Stone comes home one day and says, guess what? There's no show this week. You'll never guess why. But even then, the story isn't actually that it happened during a table read and it's almost maybe even a little more fun. There was a reddit AMA with somebody named Jay Abramowitz who was a writer for Mr. Belvedere at the time and he went on the record and said no no no what happened was Mr. Belvedere was in the Hollywood Christmas Parade and that's one of those parades where

everybody's like in a convertible and sitting up kind of like on the body of the car and the car stopped unexpectedly and he fell down in such a way that his balls were in peril. Oh poor Mr. Belvedere. Yeah that really makes it not, I mean that's one of those, you know, as with like the Fabio story which where they're trying to throw Fabio under the rug as if his big brutish face Right crush his geese left and right this I think was an unfair weight situation We're like well, he's so large you see that he could but I don't he can't help that the car. Yeah, it was an accident Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it's look I feel bad for him either way, but the car that's not his fault

Yeah, yeah, he was in a car accident basically, but anyway Then he came to work and still tried to carry on but it was the pain was too much and they sent everybody home So there were a few steps of this When it's it's crazy that now we're talking about this on a podcast and there was a whole article about it because how it all Started was there was a meeting in the bill Belad here offices and somebody comes in and says, okay, don't tell anyone, but got to us knowing how the listeners knowing someone on the other side of the room is literally picking

up a rotary phone before they're done. The story is calling during the meeting. He's Morse code tapping the message, Mr. Belvedere crushed his balls. What do you mean, Hedda Hopper died years ago? Does she have a Neppo baby daughter I could speak to, or son, if there's a son? It's the nearest Hopper in the industry.

Was there like a national inquirer at the time where it was like, Belvedere sits on balls, or like balls crushed in parade? Like, was there something like that at the time? I mean, I don't think anyone knew. I think it took this Jay Moore book with the incorrect details for it. So I guess I thank him for, I guess the story. Wow. Anyway, then all another detail of this is that the, uh,

the, the, some of the male writers on the staff spent the rest of the day trying to reproduce his accident. We all failed and were therefore skeptical of his explanation of the male writers on the staff spent the rest of the day trying to reproduce his accident. We all failed and were therefore skeptical of his explanation of the cause of the testicular discomfort. Try it yourself and please let me know if you succeed. Okay, so they were thinking maybe he was lying about what happened. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So maybe we don't know the story. No, the truth is still out there. And we'll never know. The man passed away 20 years ago at this point Yeah 2001 and unless he sent some final memo where he's like said a lot of beautiful thoughts about what it was You know what he learned from his life. Oh and by the way, they're all ball things Maybe it's like a Mark Twain situation wherein like his estate will release it in a hundred years after he's dead And then we'll like we won't probably probably know, but our future, our great grandchildren will

know what happened to Belvedere's balls. It's in the safe. It's in the Salinger safe where it's like, oh yeah, there's some more novels and stories. It's possible. Or like, yeah, like if you are, hello, Mr. Bini's like doing a video. I'd like to let you know, there's a story that's been going around about my balls. I want to tell you exactly what really happened. It is my hope that by this point, my acting legacy is why I'm primarily known.

However, I suspect that it is, that my legacy is mainly the ball thing. I want to set the record straight. I was messing around with the elf puppet on the other sound stage. My greatest regrets, never playing Richard the third and messing around with that elf puppet and destroying my testicles. I was just trying to warm them with the puppet.

I was not anything weird. Is the situation that the elf puppet somehow like clamped down on his door, his hands, uh, but that might be the case, but my, here's what I'm picturing. He put his balls in the place you put your hand on elf just to see. Well, that's ridiculous. Well, you think it's more, you put his balls in else mouth. I think he put his hand in the hand.

He put his hand in his hand and the elf sucked his balls. And he didn't realize, I think he thought he would be more restrained, but it actually probably gave him normal range of motion. Wow, I see what you're saying. It just like- Yeah, it over- Pulverized. Yeah.

Pulverized. Elf. Pulverized. Yeah. Pulverized. Pulverized his balls. Where else are you? I maybe side with Jason here because where else are you going to get the snap? You're right. Where I set it inside. I didn't think it too far. I didn't think it far enough and you were right.

No, I think that's what has to do. Well, you were right to get us on the Alf territory. This we know is true. It's just a matter of details at this point. So yeah, maybe that's it. And he got himself medical attention sooner, but he seems like a classically trained actor. So likely kept up the illusion of having a conversation with Alf as they began the intimacy so he's having to do his voice and Alf's voice.

Right. That makes sense too. Yeah. So the paramedics were confused when they got there. How are you feeling at this point, Al? Mr. Mr. Shumway. It does. It does prop into my mind every now.

Like when I finally saw Nope and the sitcom, uh, subplot, uhot going wrong in there, I was just like, oh no, this is worse than the time Mr. Belvedere sat on his balls. It's horrific. If that's what it had been. Yeah. That's the dark flashback. You're seeing the kid watching something horrible hiding under a table. What's it going to? Well, we got down to the bottom of that.

Now we know we found one more real story and it is out. He puts his hand in the puppet and then says to no one like, ah, Al Fadmister Belvedere, time to create the ultimate 80s mashup. Right. There's a show called The Goldbergs will relish the idea of this in 30 years. Only in The Goldberg writers wildest dreams. He could see the future. So now we leave basically you know when there's that virus interruption and Bowser as played by Mr. Bovendere appears it stays on the screen for a little while but then we go full frame and then there's one more

there's a big gasp moment in this is when the full Nintendo or full Mario set is revealed it's like oh my god this God, this rules. Wow. If you were at this and you were a kid at this time, you got to see this full perfect recreation of like a Mario one specifically. Yeah. The first Mario. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That would have been nuts. And it's like Mario back then and Mario now, I don't know if there's anything more universally loved. Everything is divisive. everybody people are mad about the Beatles being the best band you see some of those takes were like this are overrated blah blah blah I have never seen anybody say by the way you know Mario is bad I don't like Mario

yeah so I mean even back then and we every kid was obsessed with Mario basically so I'm that I'm making two points, I guess. Just back then, everybody was obsessed with it and you'd be, oh my God, it's Mario. This is crazy seeing it in the real world. That's true that the Super Nintendo world gets to open without like, but why is it only based on the new games?

Right, yeah. And by the way, if it was, no problem. Yes, yes. In this case, yes. If it was Mario Galaxy Land, everybody would be like, holy hell yeah. Every across the board, everyone would be like, this rules. It's crazy how that's happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They've never completely missed. I'm sure you have people have their favorite. Games that are better than others, but like you could literally, it could be Mario Sunshine land, which I feel like is a more divisive Mario game on GameCube. People still be like, this is awesome. Yeah. I like that.

I liked the cart of sunshine is what I remember. The cart iteration was, I thought that was fun. Yeah. I loved sunshine. I thought it was so much fun. Was that the one with the backpack with the like fire hose? You were like cleaning up spills the whole time. I did play that a lot on like a friend system.

Yeah. I don't know. They had a lot of fun with it with it Yeah, I think the other I think Odyssey and Galaxy are better As far as newer games, even though sometimes probably 20 years old at this point, but still yeah any any of them I think people would go nuts for maybe not virtual boy That's true. If they had built a new land at Universal Studios and it was all black and red. If that's our Halloween Horror Nights overlaid. Oh wow, you fixed it immediately. That would be awesome.

That would be so scary. Virtual Boy World. What was the Mario, was it a Wario game for Virtual Boy? I don't remember. I know there was like Mario Tennis where a ball flies at you very slowly. There was, yeah, but I a Wario game for Virtual Boy? I don't remember. I know there was like Mario Tennis where a ball flies at you very slowly. There was, yeah, but I think Wario- There was a launch title, I think. I don't think it was a debt like a regular,

it was Virtual Boy Wario Land. There might not have been a proper- Oh, okay, okay. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without

even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over deliver. Maybe the most like, uh, harm I've ever actively placed myself in was regularly hanging out in the Sears video game section, which is in the middle of the like young adult and boys clothing section. I know where the video game section is in a Sears.

And that's where my mom, but she was just like, I'm going to look around the Sears. Just hang out. You can hang out here. If you want to, you can come with me. It's like, we're going to hang out with the video game. Of course. But the demo virtual boy that God knows how many people a day stuck their grubby, disgusting kid face in. Oh, right. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Like it is amazing. I did not get like small pox or walking pneumonia or something I wanted that goddamn virtual boy so bad and I never got it. Yeah, I don't think you're missing out on much I don't think so either. I think you've got to have now kids had a lot of headaches from it but at the time I was like this virtual reality this is Jason if you had ended up with like a perfect line of acne just in like goggle press on shape, like exactly on that spot. I would, I ended up with plenty of Scott.

Thank you very much. Distributed evenly over the face. It stuck around to like 27, 28. So, but I don't think I wanted one, but I was intrigued by it. Just similarly intrigued by like the Game Boy printer, even though I knew like this is the stupidest thing, this is not gonna last.

And also like these, the stuff you have to buy for it, I'm like, they're not gonna make this forever. What would you print on the Game Boy printer? Like little, well there was Game Boy you print on the Game Boy? Like little Pete? Well, there was Game Boy camera and there was Game Boy printer. So usually you're printing these like very pixelated. Like I never had that either. Things. I had a Game Boy color.

But I was fascinated by them. Yeah. But I was, yeah. I mean, everybody, everybody, it's another word is like everybody's basically a Nintendo fan because you probably at least had one Yeah console growing up or pretty incredible that universal found and paid for a property that is one of the only The things on earth that is this way the approval Mario's approval rating has been a hundred for 30 plus years Like and then yeah, and most of the other Nintendo stuff too But well and that's also like when you look at like here here I will show you a frame from this

ice capades thing and it is very you know like when you look at what once the characters show up they have big creepy eyes the brothers are rendered pretty bad this there's things you could complain about about this but basically we're looking at a big colorful set of the castle and there's coins and the green hills and everybody's really really happy and this was in 1989 and now it's 2023 and the land is opening up and everybody's really really happy and it doesn't look that different than this no it's very similar yeah I know it's true three-dimensional but like they never had to like radically like boy we were getting Mario wrong back then no

This is I mean the only place they got it so wrong was the movie the original movie Which is died felt like maybe it was something designed to destroy little kids brains and in hindsight I don't know maybe we maybe I don't know if we do an episode eventually about that But I bought it for four dollars, and I haven't watched it since I saw it in the theater And I'm very curious. I think it's all4 and I haven't watched it since I saw it in the theater and I'm very curious. I think I saw it opening weekend or something. Oh, absolutely. I was so excited about it because everyone had Mario fever.

But yeah, that gets it perfect basically. It looks like the video game that you showed me I'm saying. And there'll be complaints about the movie, the forthcoming animated movie, I'm sure, but the, among the complaints will not be, it is a very cold, austere cyberpunk Blade Runner light made by incompetent music video directors. Like, it's so weird. They're very, yeah, nothing, basically nothing resembling the video game other than I guess the overalls and where there's like there's Characters in it who I have learned were like no that was Yoshi or that was oh, yeah the dinosaur

There's this or like there's two like goons in it who are supposed to be some of the Koopalings, right? I didn't know that until a year ago be some of the Koopalings. Right, right, right. I didn't know that until a year ago. Like that's bad news. If your movie doesn't convey who the characters are until decades later. My memory is too, those overalls don't come

until really late in the movie. Yeah, yeah. But that's something that happens even now where it's like, they never call Anne Atheway Catwoman in the third Christopher Nolan Batman. Never gets called Catwoman. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is Robin, but they call him John. Perfect end, he is Robin.

Right, but they don't say it. And I feel like that still happens where for some reason people are hung up on like. Some of these directors, Nolan or the weird husband and wife who never worked again after Super Mario Brothers. Well, Nolan or the weird husband and wife who never worked again after Super Mario Bros. Well, they're the same weird thing where they don't like, did you say the name of the character this is based on?

They're similar, yeah. That's the thing I liked about the Robert Pattinson one where they kind of just played everything straight. Like they got away with a lot of Batman specifics. Yeah, sure. That's a lot of Batman specifics. Yeah sure. I, I, I, that's a whole, we've, we've sidetracked. I know I only, I'm only being dismissive because I'd like to talk about that with you for 25 more minutes.

I mean yeah, we both watched it. I could go inside if you want to do a side podcast. No, no, no, we have a, this is, we have a limited amount of time here. Yeah. Third Patreon level. I think Scott just, he would rather be inside than here. Third Patreon level. I think Scott would rather be inside than here. Here now, we definitely get character names here because here now is the roll call. So if you aren't looking at this, and you should have looked at this if you're going to listen to this episode,

but Bowser is Mr. Belvedere in a like just his head is cut out of kind of a clothy costume and there's some green paint smeared on pretty badly but then everybody else is is a full mascot and here you meet them all. It's so great. And they look awesome. Like those costumes look so great. They shouldn't be that good either. Yeah. They should.

Because yeah, these were, I don't know, this is the first version of any suits these characters ever probably had. Yeah. And they aren't that far off. Right. These ended up in the parks. I mean, the eyes are a little.

Well, it's not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. And they look dumb. I will say that. There's something about the quality of every carry, including the Mario Brothers, they all look really stupid. Not that they look bad.

I mean that the characters seem like they're dumb characters. There's nothing wrong with that. No, no. And this is 89, is that right? Because that's the same year that the Super Show starts, the Captain Lou show. So I'm trying to think, did they, I wonder if there was ever any use for those costumes on that either? No, I mean presumably, so what we can only assume from this is that these

costumes were with the Ice Capades tour and that the only thing that was special only was Mr. Belvedere, which I wonder what Bowser was for the rest of it, if there was a Bowser suit. But you know, if you just saw it on the tour you didn't get the full experience because Belvedere is what makes this sparkle. I don't remember exactly when the song starts but I think I have to play a little bit of his song. Oh, I love this song. Yes.

Oh yes. That's what I kept singing when I was watching it earlier. Oh yes I mean the thing we have to mention he goes from standing on the stage to sitting on a little castle mobile in a nice gig if you can get it you know going from standing on he does not do any ice skating I think the closest he gets to the ice is usual. Jason has pinpointed something where a performer does not sit down. Does it not just walk? To sit and speak saying on a tiny castle mobile, you don't even have to drive the castle mobile. Someone else is clearly controlling it. Somebody might be skating under it. So there might be a team. Two people really hoofing at 10 or 10 children are under it. Yeah, so he gets a little... If we can figure it out for a live show that Jason gets to Jason.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. It's a classic example of early raps being used for like, just the people who put it together like, I think they know how people make raps. And then of course, I don't know what the first time they ever rhymed rude with dude is, but this is probably in the first 10, I think. Pretty perfect. And it's just meant for like yeah kids under eight. Yes such perfect Okay, and it's from that era where like everybody thought that you know Rap is disco like let's acknowledge rap during these three years where wraps around Oh, right. We got about two more years

I think and then the shit's done. But let's just acknowledge this whole rap fad. I'm realizing now, okay, the Bartman rhymes, rude and dude, I think. Probably I would have, I would put a lot of money on it. Hey, what's happening, dude? I'm the kid who's something being rude or something like that's known for being rude maybe. You can get attitude in there real easy too. So I wonder how many times that around that time,

this was a rhyme that was made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a very rap type song. It's just perfect. I mean, just imagine if we all saw that we would never forget how easy it is. And the kids are dumbfounded. They are all, they're almost,

they almost don't even look happy. They are almost, are just like, I're almost, they almost don't even look happy. They are almost are just like, I don't know how to process this much happiness. Look at this wide eyed little girl. She's just, she's not even happy. She's just like, can all of life be this? Right. Can I always see the Mario gang? I'll say this. Uh, my daughter, we're trying to keep her not, we're trying to keep her away from the screens right now. That's what they say you're supposed to do with very, very young children,

but sometimes you can't help it. And she was watching this. Oh, good. And she had that look on her face. I thought this kind of, yes, I got to meet your daughter. I thought this was like similar age, similar, kind of like, huh? Yeah. Delightful kid bafflement. Yeah. So she did get a glimpse of this. Oh geez, uh, did she Was she just uh, she didn't cry. She didn't smile. Um, but she's absorbed it on some level. Yeah. Yeah um, so Uh, this is a lot of fun

And then where do we go from here? How do we top a rapping british? Koopa, then we go to Princess Toadstool. This is interesting. If anyone would like to explain Princess Toadstool's characterization. Jason, would you like to explain it? Okay, it is, I think Scott, you hit the nail on the head when you first described to us, it is like old Mae West,

right? Yes, it is. For sure, she steals a line from Mae West, and I forget what line it is, but there's one like it is come up and see me. So yeah, they decide that a peach is Mae West. She's not peach by the way. I was going to ask you about this. When does the toadstool peach split happen?

It's just, I feel like in, do they start calling her P and then forgive me. Now this is something our listeners would know, but I think Peach was officially her name in the Mario 64 era. Okay. I feel like she was always Princess Peach Toadstool. She was Princess- Technically, but- Right, yes, that's sort of a retroactive, but she was Princess Toadstool up until when

she became Peach. Can you confirm, I've already added myself as the video game Luddite, but is Bowser and King Koopa, are those the same characters? Is that a similar thing? A translation thing? Yes, yes. This is confusing because he's only Bowser in Jason Bateman's explanation, but the rest he is King Koopa.

Okay. I knew them both. As a kid, I knew both these things. Sometimes they're called this and sometimes are called that Okay So the English version of Yoshi's Safari released in 1993 contained the first usage of the name peach in the Western world Though she was called Princess Toadstool in Wario Land Super Mario Land 3 released in 1994 So there's a peach mention in 93. She's back to Princess Toadstool in

Wario Land, but then I think at that point Mario 64 on she was for sure Peach. This was a thing this like I felt embarrassed somewhere at some point where I like people started saying Peach and I was like who's that? I missed the change. Oh yeah. So I was in your your Luddite shoes. I can only assume is it Anya Teller-Joy is playing? I believe so. In the movie? I can only assume. Is it Anya Teller Joy is playing? I believe so. In the movie, I can only assume she's doing the same Mae West voice in this major motion picture.

There's only one way to do it. Yeah, there's only one way. You can I do video game. Did you play Galaxy Mario Galaxy? Yes. OK. Yeah, I'm only spinning around the planets. That's the wee one.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, that one I did like finish. That's probably the last Mario game that I fully only spinning around the planets. That's the wee one. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I'm like finished That's probably the last Mario game that I fully did. It's awesome. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I really like it. Um, here's a little bit of Mae West And now that in addition to the voice the koopa virus is on the loose and you know how painful that can be yeah, what this not a

Venereal disease. I mean with Mae West who's very look very sexual. Mm-hmm. That's very very what what word? body Hey, what's whole act was a little body for the time now You might be saying it seems like contradiction to be talking about blindness when you suggested earlier on the podcast that Alf had his mouth at mr. Belvedere's balls and you'll be right we all contain multitudes body that's fully explicit what you don't like is when he can't decide you don't like PG I don't you're fine with our and NC 17. Yeah, I like hard core G that bothers you just prefer the lights slowly dim That's true

Is off the couch, you know your big haze good guy I Like to see a piece of clothing not underwear hit the chair Don't show me a bra hitting the chair. That's too much. Too much. They can keep it on over there as far as I'm concerned. And no hosiery either. That's just as bad.

Yes. That's underwear to me. Yes. So the Kupa virus is on the loose and I think this is a job for plumbers. Oh Luigi Oh Mario And then they show up and they show up by flying. Oh, yeah onto the ice This is where I it's a perfect level of getting things kind of wrong. I love the wrong

Like why are they flying don't know don't care. It's so delightful. And they look, they are like, they don't look comfortable flying. They are kicking and flailing. Whoever is in these costumes wants to get off these wires. I felt scared for them because they can't see very well. They're in these big heavy suits. They got blades on the bottom of their feet and they're being lowered now. Yeah. Cause if they were trying to mimic the jumping in from the game, you would just put one hand up and like one knee up like that and just freeze that way. And they didn't have. Yeah, in the first game, it's only they're underwater.

And then they have a fire flower upgrade where he would shoot the fireballs, but they're not flying it either in the first game. So it's not from that either. So you're right. It's probably just the jumping I guess that that's how they thought oh, we'll have them come in from the sky because they can jump high sometimes Well, or they I mean don't you sort of start levels by falling into them sometimes, right? You know, you go through a pipe and then you just kind of I guess yeah, you know, you're right. That's true Or do you just always appear?

No, I think there if you go down a, you can fall through the pipe and land. So that's true. And you spend a lot of time, if you end up on a cloud level and then you could fall for a very long time. I'm trying to remember. Mario 2 is a lot of falling. Well, that's true. I'm saying like that didn't happen yet.

Oh yeah. So where are they getting this from? Yeah. So, but you're right. The pipe, you could go down a pipe and then come out the bottom of the pipe and fall. So that's, if you want to logic your way in, I think that's the way to get it. Mm hmm. Uh, how they might've gotten there is, I don't know, should they fly in?

Yeah, sounds good. Sounds like the Mario Brothers to me. These might be the worst costumes in the show. Pretty rough. I'm, I'm letting like, I think the Goomba and the Koopa Troopa are pretty fun and silly. Yeah. These guys, they have pretty, them and Princess have pretty terrifying, huge, glassy eyes.

Yeah. Yeah. Which is funny because jumping ahead a little later on, there are skaters in overalls, white overalls with red shirts, like when you get a fire flower as Mario. And they look pretty good. They look like better Marioios than these stuffed creations. But maybe they, you know, maybe they were thinking about playing to the back row.

Oh yeah, sure. Maybe that's the way. This is gonna look like Mario from really far away. Right. The costumes remain in a similar shape for all of these. I saw some pretty horrifying Smurfs from other years and you saw the Simpsons from the next year. They're crazy.

They're so scary. Yeah. Maggie is giant. She's somehow the biggest one. Yes. And I think Jane and I watched together and she's like, wait, does a baby just fall down and lie on the floor? Like, is that a regular Simpsons joke?

And I was like, um, no, I guess every now and then. Yeah. I think they would do that. I think, yeah. Cause you know, in the opening she's on the flat grocery belt. Yeah. I guess this extreme closeup of princess. I mean, these eyes are, this is, this is like somebody who's like an overdose amount of pills deep. Is this somebody like about to see God? That looks like the Pan's labyrinth. Yeah right on. So she thanks the Mario Brothers for showing up. I swear Mario is the voice of Fred Flintstone. I bet it's the same guy. Oh yeah, maybe.

I don't have any affirmation of that, but like, they sound pretty crazy. They kind of do lame jokes a little bit. But then the main thing, I mean the best thing that happens is that the attack sequence is initiated by Bowser. He sends each minion one by one. And by this point, there's kind of a line of children all in brick cars, like smaller versions of what Bowser is in. An ice capades thing they would do. It seems like it. I saw it from different versions.

They were like, you would bring kids on the ice in little cars, essentially. Like little ride vehicles. The little Jason would have loved. An early like. Oh, you got to sit down on the ice and little cars, essentially, like little ride vehicles. Well, Jason would have loved an early like, Oh, you got to sit down on the ice. Oh, I got to sit down on the ice because I don't think I've ever ice skated. Every now and then there would be a trip like a Boy Scouts or Youth Group and they're like, look, you can ice skate or we'll give you $20 and quarters and you can get hot chocolate and go to the arcade.

And I'm like, well, you've made my decision for me. I do not trust dull knives on my feet and I do not trust my balance. So, Tekken it is. Ice skate, have you done it? Only like twice, I'm horrible at it. I hated the experience, bad. My mom forced me in a class with my sister

who was three years younger, and other little kids to do a beginner's ice skating class. And I hated it. And I felt embarrassed to be there. And I didn't like it at all. And that was the last time. I did. I don't think it's on the docket for my kid.

If he finds that skill on his own, great. Her logic, well, you know what? Maybe there was one birthday. Her logic was you're gonna have the ice skating birthday parties, you're gonna need to know how to do it. And I think there was one. And that was it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Lindsay likes to roller skate and she's made me go roller skating in the last five years a couple times. How'd that go? My legs hurt so bad after it. Really? Because I'm tense. I can do it. I've never fallen. Okay? Because I'm tense. I can do it.

I can, I've never fallen. Okay. But we've gone where it's like packed. Yeah, yeah. And it's like a little stressful. A little stressful. Yeah. Because I really don't quite know what I'm doing.

Right, right. And there are people almost, people are wiping out constantly also. Yeah. And you're like, I don't know how this is legal still. Cause I'm just going to get like a head injury. Yeah, I first or second grade. There was a couple skating birthday parties I had a lot of trouble at first and then I really picked it up. I uh roller skating. Yeah, and then Puberty hit me like a ton of bricks and I became a chubby kid and it would become like the regular summer community theater

Like cast party would be at the skating rink Yeah, and that was just like taking my life into my own hands. I would try Really? I was bad. I just whatever I learned as a you bring you go bad at things well, I just I I was just put on weight my center of gravity just just fucking jumped around and I Just was not skilled. You just got out. You got a massive right butt cheek. I got a massive right. All my weights over here. I have a very I can't believe I did this. I tried to use a urinal with roller skates on once. Oh my God. Almost gave

myself a concussion because I started skating around. This is like 11 or 12. I don't think I've ever told this story in my life. But I, it is so clear to me of just like, almost like nailing my head on a urinal. And I caught myself. I braked and caught myself. And then I was just like grabbing every surface. Finishing up.

It's like a Mr. Bean episode. It is a very bean. I don't know why I didn't take those skates off. I don't know why I didn't switch to sneakers. Oh my God. Wow. Yeah. I think Erin has a story from somebody,

I might be getting this wrong, but she knows somebody who did roller derby and it happened to her, it happened to somebody, or she saw it happen, that there was a scenario of like trying to change clothes while wearing the skates in a bathroom stall slipped. Clothes went flying. She's now she flies all the way out under the bathroom stall fully nude with other people

in the bathroom. Can you imagine if you're going to the bathroom and that happens. Whoop. That's insane. Did it the wrong order. When changing, take the skates off first. And if you gotta be socks on the bathroom floor, so be it, you know? So at least you were clothed, Jason. I was clothed.

And I have no idea why I didn't just stop for a second and go change into my shoes or just brave it with socks. So if you had been at the urinal and you're, if this moment could be combined with a something about Mary where her zipper is perfectly stuck. Oh God. You go flying, somebody opens the door at that moment. You go flying out, out of the bathroom.

A bunch of your friends are there. And you're getting a head injury and a Belvedere injury like, oh, my God, that could have been all your clothes flew on. I don't like clothes. And at that moment, my pizza slice was ready. This really insult to injury. The person delivering it slips and falls also piping hot pizza lands on your exposed penis.

Yikes! These are all great scenes to reserve great physical comfort for our, remember our earnest, our new earnest Dougie. This is things that we have. Oh yeah. The new king of physical comedy. Dougie can have it earnest Dougie is this thing. Oh, yeah Dougie can have it if it's gone from my brain, you know The thing with the Dougie scenes need to be based on real experiences. Yeah, it's not true and organic It didn't happen to you and it can't be funny, right? So whoever fell and exposed their penis There's a line though with God there is a line from endearing to like what is the matter with you?

Like what was wrong with you? Dougie will find that line. Oh, it's a royal dance on that line. Oh, yeah Dougie's tripping over that damn line Dougie's really about trauma is really what I think. It's really a reprocessing step for your own trauma. That's why Dougie is important. Yeah. I was starting to say there's a bunch of children and they're all in little boxcars and they are pulled up to like you know flank Mario and Luigi. Actually it's just Luigi for a little. Only Luigi does nothing. Yeah yeah. Luigi does most of the work. You would take care of this. Mario, rest up for if I'm really needed.

So Luigi, basically each minion skates up while kids all kind of jeer and they just kind of really gently pull up to an awaiting Luigi who is holding some kind of, how would you describe this weapon? A cannon. A big fire cannon. Luigi has a fire cannon. A pretty big one too. These really simple, sweet, dumb organisms pull up.

I forget who's first. Maybe it's a Koopa Troopa. Koopa Troopa, attack! He pulls up and then just this little box weapon and then which Luigi fires, which just blows up the characters sky high. Just powderizes them, turns them into nothing. It's so funny, they don't do anything Mario related.

They just have a cannon and they blow them to Kingdom Come. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the Danny DeVito. It's always sunny moment where he's just like, and then I just start blasting up, you know, Luigi does. He just fires a cannon at them. It's so abrasive. It's a huge pyro effect. It's so, and the kids all cheer so innocently. Yay. Yay. After a very violent explosion, very violent to cartoon characters. Because I feel like there was a lot of thought and I don't know this, but a lot of thought put into like how Mario and Luigi would defeat the bad guys and they bonk on the head and then the characters kind of fly off the screen. As a kid, I don't think it reads like, I mean, you say maybe you kill them, but it's a cute,

it's cute. The way they dispose of enemies is mostly cute. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, this is more abrasive. This is exploding them. Well, it being physicalized in the real and it's just such a functional, I think it might be just a like, cause this doesn't look like a fit. This is a black box with a little black tube sticking out of it.

I think this is just like a smoke machine. Yeah. I think that actually is it. And if you look at the first few flame frames before the flames, it's just smoke firing at them. Right. So some grip had to deal with this. I don't know. I got a smoke machine in the bag. It could have been like just done like throwing movements and played the sound effects, you know? Yeah, that's fireball. Yeah, that would have made sense. But again, yeah, everyone didn't quite know the game.

No. There are missing a few things. They may not have gotten to the point where you got the fire flower. Well, the writer might not have been of a generation where Mario was really in front of him. The writer who, I can't say it yet, I got it in my pocket. I'll wait. Anyway, one, no, there's no villain has any attack.

They just kind of skate up, sit there. First Goomba fails. This seems like a two Goomba job. Second one skates up, does the same thing, no alteration of the plan, the same thing happens. So after all that, you know, the buildup from Bowser, don't mess around with me, his plan seems to be, send each minion one by one to do nothing,

and then they are immediately exploded It's really great. He doesn't alter the plan to as it's clear. This is going to happen to all of the characters You think he doesn't wait up one moment. Let's go back to the trolling bar. I should I shift to given what I've seen No, no stick with the plan one of them is bound to there is one who has a weapon this the hammer brother pulls up it just like so flaccidly whips this cloth hammer around one and a half times. Yeah, same thing explosion boom. It's so high They all explode 50 feet into the air. There is no doubt, like in the game, there's a doubt that they've died.

The characters, maybe they just flew away and they're injured. No doubt in my mind, these are all dead characters. They have been exploded. They have dead. They're passed on in the next life. I want them dead, big boy. I don't want a burial for any of them. Turn them to dust. Their widow won't be able to identify a corpse. That's what I want.

No grave visiting, not in my view of things. Killing those guys makes me horny. So keep making the explosions larger and larger. Come up and see a charred corpse sometime. See the dust that remains. I make furniture out of dead bodies. Like the psycho guy. So then Bowser decides to take matters into his own hands.

Spiny, now is our time to pull up, do the exact same thing. This time Mario gets actually in real now the kids become part of it. They all kind of scoot forward. Let's give them nowhere to run. And then Bowser's plan is to kind of look meaner than before a little bit. And then they make the worst joke I've ever heard, which is, King Koopa, whatever, written down. King Koopa, you a chicken.

Get yourself a new chicken, Koopa. I think maybe that line, having been said, it is the time to reveal the writer of the piece I think it's possible someone could guess the writer of the piece I've watched this clip for years and I never know delighted by who it is If I'm building it up this much the writer of a big stupid thing It's really hacky and all the references are from the 40s It's really hacky and all the references are from the 40s. Bruce Valanche?

Is it George Burns? Bruce Valanche! Who'd you guess? I guess George Burns. George Burns. George Burns for higher writing words for the ice capades. But Valanche. But Valanche, he lives for it.

Of course it's Valanche. It's of course Valanche. Makes all the sense in the world, it's Valanche. All the Oscars, the Brady Bunch variety hour, the sense in the world. It's the lunch I As all the Oscars the Brady Bunch variety hour the Star Wars holiday special Yeah, some of the finest works ever produced but that doesn't that especially explain the May West of it like of yes Yeah, why in the world? Why would he leave like hmm? You all right. You've been given this I got a right for this video game thing. Hmm. Well, right. Well, you know, I know Mae West. I've been ever there. Well, I, I, I am,

I've blocked out when we all watched so much of the Brady Bunch variety hour, right? With Eva, but doesn't it, I, I guarantee that Florence Henderson had to talk like Mae West at some point. Oh yeah. You would think so. I'm sure that all of the girls, all of the sisters had to talk like Mae West to their brothers. Yeah I mean positive that happened. When Bruce Vellanche was on Hollywood squares did he ever like was he he was always Center Square I believe. What do you ever say like come up and see me something like to in lower square? Probably there had to

be a time. There is up to be climbed you have to go up to see him if somebody has somebody can find that for us. Let us know Mm-hmm is can I ask question is Valanche working what in the last couple years? I don't know is he still doing stuff. I mean, I feel like yes But maybe maybe I'd be uncredited on some stuff or credited and I'm sure credited Cuz the last yeah, I of course I've said this before, I saw him, and it's probably eight years ago already, seven years ago, I saw him perform on stage in Pasadena in the Aladdin stage show. Oh, he was in that Aladdin play. He played the widow Twankie in Aladdin, which I saw with friends of the show, Ryan Prez and Biz Biz.

We were front row, I think. You were front row at the Saladin show. We were front row at the Aladdin show. That's right. And there was a lunch. Pal Wishy Washy. Wishy Washy was in it. There was a brunch beforehand that we ate.

I don't think we knew this was a brunch. There was a brunch beforehand and before while we're eating brunch Ryan Prez looked at his phone started laughing and said Peter O'Toole is dead. Oh my god. I didn't know if that was going to be summed up in Latin. No, no. Peter O'Toole has been compromised to a permanent end. So I guess I can know what day we saw it because of when Peter O'Toole was dead.

Wow, wow. And it was, uh, oh my God, it's nine years ago, December 14th, 2013. Wow. Wow. Another date that will happen to me. I'm really upset to look at this Wikipedia and see that Bruce Williams was on shark tank and I can't recall that instantly. Okay.

Um, but there's no, no credits in the last couple of years. Um, less, but slowing down. I don't know. Yeah. He's up there. He's older than, uh, than my father forever. Um, so yeah, still hit writer of the Oscars in 2014. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Pretty. Um, so another great piece of work for Mr. Vellanche, of course, of course, This thing has delighted me always so much and it's from the hand of Vellanche. Anyway, then all the children wave their foam wrenches gently and Bowser explodes in the same way. The exact same death has been carried out seven times in a row and we start coming to an end. has been carried out seven times in a row. And we start coming to an end.

Princess Toadstool gives Mario and Luigi the purple plunger for bravery. It's funny, I guess. Sure, yeah. Like so many of the Lange jokes, you go, that's funny, I guess. Okay, I see what he did there, I see it. I get it, yeah.

Yeah, well, it proves that he looked up a couple, he heard plumbers, all right? I will make a plumber joke. That's true. So a little bit of homework was done. A delightful sequence was created and I've loved this thing for so long. God bless him for getting it so right. They got it visually just right enough. Yeah. Thematically writing wise, just wrong enough. There's the rap is just wrong enough. Mr. Belvedere is just fantastic. This is a great piece. It is a great piece, yes.

And more people should see it and I guess they will now. Bruce Vellanche, credit as the head writer on the comic relief, the Katrina one where Billy Crystal does the Jazz Man character. No, no, no, no. In front of that house. In front of the house set. Oh, God. Wow.

Not Blackface in that instance, I don't think. I don't think so. But the last time Billy Crystal hosted the Oscars, which Vellanche worked on, he did play Sammy Davis Jr. So in this century Billy Crystal did blackface on the Academy Awards and everybody went hooray! How many years ago is that? That was well that was that was the Funny or Die Oscar year but I made an Oscar thing and Buzz Buzz made a video with Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Right. So FOD got involved that year. So I know that was 2012 for that reason.

That's 10 years ago. I know. No, 13. I forgot what year it is. Wild. 10 years ago that I saw Latin. So it's great. The special continues. There is a dog fashion show. I don't I would just be funny, but you feel bad for the dogs. I forget if there's a televised Barbie part, but Barbie was part of it.

Oh yeah. The world's most beautiful doll. I think they say, like, there's like a, the TAT, the star when they're announcing on one of these, who's going to die. Can't argue another one. Yeah, I can't either. Well, you might say Leonardo or I wouldn't call them dolls, though. Yeah, that would be the. All right. That's all. There's also here. There was the great discovery of seeing the full special

is that this was not the final appearance of Mr. Belvedere in the special that later on he comes back back and in this one he is a villainous pirate and he does the exact same performance. I hate to say this but I saw his elsewhere in his body of work. This makes a lot of sense because he played Captain Hook in some production of Peter Pan, which included Sandy Duncan. There she is. She continues to haunt me around every turn. But really great to find out there's more Mr. Belvedere and there is more musical villainous Mr. Belvedere.

Here is this. You know what keeps me going? He's singing to a parrot. What sustains me and what really keeps me going? It's that one. You know what keeps me going? He's singing to a parrot. What sustains me? And what really keeps me going? It's that I'm bad. He's bad!

I'm bad! Oh yeah! Bad! You know I'm bad. He's bad! I'm bad! You know it. I know it.

I'm really bad. He's bad! I'm bad! Oh yeah! Now the whole world has to answer right nowrett and tell you what to get over! Yay! So good. I'm a simple man.

If there is a guy over- if there is a British villain over-pronouncing, especially when set to contemporary music, I'm smiling and I'm clapping. The Casio keyboard version of bad. Much, much, much cheaper keyboards than the real. Oh boy. Oh beautiful. You know I'm bad. Oh boy.

So glad there was more. So glad to get to meditate on this thing for a little while. Any last observations about this? No. So glad there was more so glad to get to meditate on on this thing for a little while any for any any last observations about this or No, I just yeah, it's great Um, I would like to issue a correction about the Hogan family and Valerie Harper though Thank god under the show was originally called Valerie Because it's centered on Valerie Harper and she was raising three sons But after two seasons Harper was replaced not the first season because she had a contract dispute. Oh, Valerie is the Hogan family Valerie is the same

Valerie is the Hogan family Okay, Valerie is okay. So it's the same format as Roseanne becomes the Connors Yeah, I'll be it with I would imagine their exits were not exactly the same not the exact same Then they killed off the Valerie Harper character and she was replaced with Sandy Duncan What? Yes, Sandy Duncan is a killer. Yes, Sandy Duncan joined the cast monster must be brought Sister-in-law and the boys aunt so I don't think she married and like married the father. They Kevin Kenway did her. They did Kevin Kenway her. Yes.

Yeah. Right. Right. The series was initially retitled Valerie's family, but then season four they changed it to the Hogan family. It was briefly. So Valerie wasn't on it, but it was called Valerie's family. Yes. I guess they thought like people would remember what the show was the first two seasons of they called it that, but I guess then they felt that was weird. They had done this move.

This, this filth that Roseanne is tweeted. She's out of her mind. We have to, we have to put a stop to this. Anyway, the show is now Roseanne's family. This is an all you're saying season four, they changed the name. Yeah. So season one and two, it was called Valerie. Season three, Valerie Harper is out,

and now it's called Valerie's Family. Season four, it's now called the Hogan Family, which I think people now just think it was the Hogan Family the whole time. How many seasons did it run? Six. Mr. Belvedere also ran six seasons. Six years ago?

Did it? I thought it was five. I thought that's what I saw. Maybe it was six. Yeah. My God. But it was always called Mr. Belvedere. Yeah. Yes thought it was five. I thought that's what I maybe was sick. Yeah my god, but it was always called mr Belvedere. Yes. Yeah Belvedere family family. Mr. Belvedere used to work for right Mr. Belvedere source of employment Six seasons a hundred and seventeen. I don't think I've ever seen a single episode of mr. Belvedere I used to watch it a lot. I don't think I've ever seen a single episode of Mr. Belvedere. I used to watch it a lot. I don't think I've seen full Belvedere either.

It was a syndicated, always on, classic for me, wherever, in whatever form I was watching it. But it's really the show, whatever. It's all about that theme song. We know it's all about that theme song. The regional syndication is fascinating. I haven't seen Mr. Belvedere, but I've seen hours of Charles in charge. Wow. I've never seen, I don't think I've ever seen any Charles in town. You ever seen, I know we're still,

microphones are still on. Oh, you ever seen the Alf holiday special? No, that was a contender in the club three, uh, the, because I watched it. Okay. And I'll just tell you what happens because it's not going gonna make you not want to watch it. Mm-hmm It's a very serious episode Yes, I found I saw that yeah, it's like not that I don't even think there's a live studio audience Maybe that I know there wasn't a regularly but it does it feels differently. It's shot like single cam elf Accidentally ends up in a hospital with a terminal terminally ill child Then he gives birth he helps a woman give birth to a baby because she thinks he's a doctor and they get stuck in an elevator and then third he talks a

man off the ledge from trying to kill himself she's Louise and none of this is played for laughs barely any of it is played for laughs my god the baby doesn't go like flying out and knocks elf down no not really I mean there's a joke of like elf with the surgical mask on and like you're a doctor are you sure and oh yeah I'm a doctor like a little of that but basically like elf helps her deliver the baby because they're stuck in an elevator. Wow wow and there is not then elf getting stuck inside her body before she is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We'll see if it makes it back. For now, you survived podcast throughout the second gate. A delightful suggestion. Thanks Nick for this.

We'll see if there's more Mario nonsense because now is the time to talk Mario. And I'd love to do more. So if there's anything else bizarre and Mario related we should be aware of, leave it in the comments. I'm not going to get into it now, but that maybe will give me a window to talk a little bit about the the album Nintendo White Knuckle Scoring. I'll save that for if there's more time to do so. I don't know, I don't think this, maybe it's not even that funny. I legitimately, the Mario Choose Your Own Adventure books, I couldn't have been obsessed with more.

Really? Oh I don't know this at all. They were more more they were almost out of print by the time I discovered them So I couldn't get my hands on them and I had like two or three of them But I was obsessed with them Wow Wow, and I think you can get them now, but no they've never Reprinted them again. So if I can find one or two, I wonder if there's anything interesting there probably not honestly Well, and then there's and there's that bizarre old TV show that you found There's like bizarre old TV show that you found, the local Bowser. So yeah, there's the Captain Lou Albano one, which everybody probably knows, the Mario Super Show where they had cartoons of Mario and then Zelda.

But then also a friend of mine just told me about a local Los Angeles show that was King Koopa hosted where he would show like cartoons and it was a bozo show basically with a live studio audience of kids and he would show cartoons and there's very little of it online and I assume cause it was a local show. Yeah, yeah. That who knows if it's been taped over but.

He looks spectacular. It's a crazy Bowser to look at. They went a little further with the facial effects than Belvedere and his splatter of green paint. And he, and he like marches down Hollywood Boulevard with children and me of children Yeah, so I want to see if anybody has any more footage of that somewhere. Let me okay, you know And what doesn't have to be this month we could take our so, you know It's gonna be a Nintendo mania for a little while But yeah, leave let's let's make like Club 3 here leave in the comments if there's something crazy in Mario

That you want to hear about or you want to expose us to and maybe we'll do something else seems like it seems like the time Maybe we even put it up to a poll so we'll do a poll here in regular second Sure, you always have to be behind this is a number of ways we could yeah this Okay, I guess that that wraps it up. I Wait, it's like what's the way to do the to end it the you know? I guess that wraps it up. Thank you for subscribing to the second gate, but of course, life is more than mere subscribing. And we just might live the good life. Yep.

Ha ha. Oh yes. Forever Dog. This has been. Forever Dog This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, Scott Gardner, Brett Bohm,

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