Podcast: The Ride - UNLOCKED: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out Of Their Shells Tour

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

The following is a sample of P:TR - The Second Gate. Find more episodes at Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide In 1990, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were the biggest stars in the world. This is what happened when they took their act on the road. Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREVER! DOG! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Cowabunga, dudes and dudettes!'s podcast arrived the second gate how else would we start this episode it's a power man it's a power peace and love pizza power my name is mike carlson joining me as always jason sheridan i'm jason sheridan and pizza gives me strength scott gerner's here also hey what's up Happening I was going to save this observation Until deeper into the episode but in both

The tape of the coming Out of their shells tour and The promotional appearance on the Oprah Show in which they did the full hour Of Oprah in both scenarios I believe Michelangelo bursts Onto the stage yelling Happening

Which is not a phrase anyone ever said that was not a cool youth phrase at any point if whatever older actor was in that suit consulted some sort of slang guide uh he must have misread it uh or there was something at the top saying like you know there's a lot of interesting phrases happening with the youth today and he thought that was one of the things on the list yeah surfboard turtles question mark the closest thing with surfing the closest thing i can think of is austin power saying it's like it's not happening and it freaks me out man like that's close happening might be like kind of that like a 60s groovy thing but yeah not just mistakenly given a 60s slang list and right part of it was redacted like watergate papers and right uh and we ended up

with happening but this episode is pretty happening wouldn't you say uh yeah i would their voices are very funny i mean they all they were always funny in the cartoon but especially these voices and i think one is the same leonardo i think is the same guy from the cartoon oh really i believe they're in the cartoon spirit and more so than the than the movie like let me play there's a lot of audio uh and we'll link to a lot of this is a clip from the making of special by the way in case you don't know we're talking about the ninja turtles went on tour and, what was it, 91? In 1990. Or 1990, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The second thing was in 91, which, do we know about that?

I did find out about that. That's the Six Flags one. Yeah. The stripped down version. Yeah, so they went on a tour called Coming Out of Our Shells. Coming Out of Their Shells. Coming Out of Their Shells. Despite the song being Coming Out of Our Shells.

I'm already getting very confused. Which I saw, and Mike saw it. Scott, did you see it? No. No, I didn't oh no i wasn't sure how to calibrate like i even wrote down like did this tape loom large in your childhoods it was more than the tape you guys went yeah we did very jealous and i think when i put together that this like i i might have watched the tape and thought well when did this

happen in 1974 long before I was born? No, no, no. I was alive and I could have seen it. And my parents didn't take me. I guess there's no other determination to make except that my parents are bad parents. I was able... I may have thought that to myself circa 1992. And then they toured again and I didn't see that either.

Yeah, that's... That's crumple, man. Yeah. That's what I... I was like, like oh am i sure i saw this one then a few things happened that i was able to pinpoint this one i found the dates the run dates in philadelphia and it ran december 23rd to december 27th 1990 so my uh father would have taken probably just me at that age because i would have been in kindergarten to see it at the uh i found out this in the morning call philadelphia's third most popular newspaper um uh in the philadelphia it was at the philadelphia civic center which is where the 76ers

used to play before the spectrum uh where they don't play anymore this is like the multiple locations ago but it was a large entertainment complex at a convention center attached to um so i saw it there and uh i my father informed me that when in the 60s and 70 when the sixers were playing there uh they didn't have a huge fan base. So he was like, yeah, me and my brother used to go down. It was really cheap. You'd pay 75 cents a ticket for the cheap seats. And then you do what's called the Philly Crawl. And I was like, what is the Philly Crawl?

And he's like, that's where you buy the cheap seats. And then when the show starts, you make your way to the front. And I was like, wow, I didn't know that had a name. And also I did that uh in philadelphia when the pixies reunited in 2004 so like father like son i guess from the best you learned from the best we all did it at that batman uh live or didn't you guys separately go to the batman live oh i don't think i ever ended up that you guys yet but i we bought pretty cheap tickets and then

got into the staples center and realized no one is in the staples center the philly crawl is available to us here in los angeles yeah um i mean there's so much to talk about but let's let's super clarify the ninja turtles did a tour this is a common thing favorite children's characters tour the country there's there's stunt shows all the marvel characters tour the country. There's, there's stunt shows, all the Marvel characters, all the Batman characters, all the Paw Patrol characters. Uh, was this a touring stunt show of the Ninja Turtles?

No, no, no. This was an original rock concert with original songs. The turtles have put down their weapons and started using instruments instead. This is a point that they hit over and over, especially in the promotional materials that a splinter taught them that actually the power of music is stronger than the power of violence.

And this allowed them to break their usual policy of secrecy and proudly tour the country for many, many dates, uh, openly, uh, as the ninja turtles but this presents a problem because listing every city you're going to be in you know you're going to attract a shredder or two and sure enough every city that the turtles were so was so a shredder uh the concert was interrupted and uh much conflict ensued and that's what coming out of their shells was yeah and like obviously for first i want to quick ask how into the turtles were you

to big time all my childhood art is turtles okay so yours is yeah because i was it's it's like influences on my life is probably like simpsons ninja turtles saturday night live and you're still buffett's climbing the charts he's certainly in the top 10 but i'm he's might be like six but it doesn't it doesn't extend it through your life the way that the turtles have yes i i if i see uh the turtle toys you know just like the backing the card that the toys would be on if i see like a picture of all of them on pegs at like a toy store it does something to me that's so much stronger than any sort of sexual desire the idea that i would go into the toy store and see rose with your girlfriend in the room she knows what i feel she can hear it another few brushstrokes added to the portrait of mike like there is nothing more at all now

nothing more exciting to me than walking down a toys r us aisle thinking in my head oh i wonder if there'll be new toys and then getting there and seeing that oh my god ray filet is a new toy aka man ray he's his two different names um on the toy and then in the comics by your scale i mean may need to re-answer my earlier question maybe i'm not that into the ninja turtles maybe i knew who the four were and i did like jumps at school and that is how into them i'll say this as we were watching the footage i saw a child hold up a set of lime green plastic nunchucks and i immediately flashed back to cha and i was like i had that i know i was at the show because i know i bought that there

yeah that said that was more of a nostalgic kick mike is still keeping the faith we're surrounded by turtle stuff right now that's true that's true yeah there's a lot in the room we find a previous episode i noted leonardo's tail that is so phallic that i stare at for most episodes didn't we find out that a turtle's tail is his penis oh that's right didn't somebody say that some yeah so you are staring at leonardo's penis while we record this he's behind me so i just have to imagine it's there i sure am if you catch me drifting in most episodes that's what's happening so yeah so i don't want to get too i could get i could go nuts for the turtles you know we have to get to this um but side character wise how many deep can you get you think both of you we get it you like them the most i'm just curious how deep because i'll

be able to completely assess now like your level i think i do not remember almost any of it. I think after Casey Jones and then as like an old comics fan, I know you saw Gimbo. Okay. It's kind of in the universe, but that's a different comics creator thing. Stan. All right here. I'll start my list of vanilla ice.

That's in the universe. I will accept that answer. I don't, but no, I, I recently remember, I realized I couldn't remember the name of the two of my favorite characters as kids, universe i will accept that answer uh-huh uh-huh uh i don't but no i i recently remember i realized i couldn't remember the name of the two of my favorite characters as kids the snapping turtle

and the werewolf i don't remember what they were called in the movie part two right jason do you know um fuck i used to know the term i know i had the mutant hordes yeah yeah i know the snapping turtle toy toka and raz. I had no idea. Yeah. Nope, gone. And they should have been Bebop and Rocksteady, because why wouldn't Shredder have his normal goons? Sure. But they made up two other characters.

But the movies don't really have Krang there. I named one. Yes, they don't have Krang. They don't have any sort of Dimension X stuff. I was always, as a kid, I liked the movies a lot. I probably loved the movies, but I was always like, i i liked the movies a lot i probably loved the movies but i was always like well this isn't the real universe because krang's not here we're not in dimension x the neutrinos with michelangelo's alien girlfriend they're nowhere to be found

where are wingnut and screw loose two of my favorites where's mondo gecko i mean these characters absent from the childhood you're instead of enjoying these movies where's yeah i wanted to see all the show where's i think like because my turtle my turtles and hit at the same time as gi joe and the ghostbusters cartoon so i was just always mashing those together and it wasn't until after that it was x-men and then power rangers power rangers pretty quickly that was only a few years there so that kind of died down for me pretty quickly i'm still keeping the faith with the x-men i just bought an x-men shirt on t public the other day sure uh so but the x-men didn't come to your town and play rock music for you how much allegiance can you

really have to them that's true no they had one no they had two great songs there's a scene song to the pilot and then the scene song to the 92 cartoon oh they are not playing and they never addressed in a song that they wrote what their favorite kind of food is no the x-men play softball that's about it they're constant they're always playing softball that is the thing they love to play softball against each other. That's great. Yeah. So, yeah. So, I was just an insane kid.

I guess that's really when my parents or people should have known that I was different. My mutant power was being obsessed more than the kids in the class. Because I, yeah. There was a, in kindergarten, we were supposed to sing a song in front of the class. And everyone sang Twinkle Twinkle. And I got up there and i sang the whole ninja turtles theme nice the whole chuck lori which is not a melodic song yeah it's kind of just like like just kind of over and over again i remember feeling like that may have been a bad choice while i was doing it i still have the memory of like oh this isn't okay and your stunts are not going as well as. Yeah, but. I have an endearing kindergarten story

that reminds me of. That's also pop culture based, which was we were doing coloring and I was given the page to color. It was just, I don't know, whatever's the normal everyday life scenes. And I just took every crown and a different person just got colored all over.

And they're like, that's a very interesting choice because there's so many people are trying to color in the lines and shade and i was like well every character has been slimed so that's why it was just like crazy uh creative yeah there's uh yeah i i've i have many a slimed picture i think too because i was a big ghostbusters kid as well i'm not gi. Joe for some reason. That skipped. I like Sergeant Slaughter now because of the wrestling mix, connection. But the, where am I going?

I lost my train of thought. You sang the song. Yeah, I sang the song. You were disappointed you didn't lose your virginity to a Ninja Turtle. Well, there was that sexy lady Ninja Turtle later on. When Venus de Milo came in the next mutation i certainly then that was the first that was actually the first time i had any sort of by the time you hit third beats of the harold the game starts to break down

um but yeah i am still in my 30s there are this company necca is making unbelievable turtles that's that rafael one in the trench coat. Oh, yeah. And this guy, there's a guy named Randy in charge of NECA. He is sort of promising, I think, to make as much movie stuff and cartoon stuff as he can, which means I want Kino from A Secret of the Ooze. There will be a quarter inch Kino. He'll be staring at you while we record. You'll be able to see his penis somehow.

I want Vanilla Ice's backup group, Earthquake. Very possible. Yeah, give me an Earthquake. I think at least Vanilla Ice is very possible. That's a good idea. It's a great idea. I asked this guy, Randy, on Twitter and he'll oftentimes curtly answer questions and I

said, what are the chances of coming out of our shells tour quarter inch? And I said, what are the chances of coming out of our shells tour? Yeah. Quarter inch. And he said, no chance. No. Which I thought was rude. And he won't make Turtles 3 either, which I think is underappreciated.

Those costumes are great. Yeah. And the samurai. They have the samurai. That'll be great. Then their samurai outfits. Come on. I think they had toys of that, despite not really liking that movie i i yes i thought the samurai toys were cool yeah um i think the suits in

coming out of our shells are good i like it's like a lighter green and they're speckled and i love their sparkly uh bandanas that uh cover their where their genitals might be well now hold on a second but that's not the only suits coming out of their shells because the pre-shot footage yes is a different set of suits yes it is yeah yeah that's that's very confusing and some of it is used in the show uh so this is probably a good juncture to say uh you guys had the luxury of seeing it in person i with my piss poor parents i'm just joking if you ever hear this uh uh they i did not go to see it but i rented this i oddly didn't own the video but i rented it probably far beyond the point where i should have just bought it i i always wanted this if i went to

the video store and then there was a separate video that was the making of the coming out of their shells tour. And this is the laziest compiled from press conferences. The senior VP of pizza hut marketing. Oh yeah. Prattling on and on. I have that clip. Oh great.

Wonderful. The thing I was going to say about the suits and then please play that you want to play um so yeah there's all this pre-material where things are a little different uh actually if you listen closely there's a shredder who is a british shredder it's not the shredder ultimately in the show um but yeah they're they have like a one has like a ninja star over their eye and then in the actual show the old turtles like call in and are on video yes and that's very confusing because that's not what they were just wearing and will be wearing again in five minutes but the main thing that i noticed when i watched the making of is that

the turtles have less clothes they have less strips of fabric hanging everywhere and especially not sort of the like mogli-esque loincloth over their front parts and i think i know why they added this i don't have the still handy but uh i'll make sure that i post it there is a part where donatello is hanging out in the studio and just sort of like you know just full like front shell out and between his legs is a big lump with kind of a separation in the middle what i am saying is this is heavily vaginal it is it truly looks like donatello just has a big camel toe hanging out um so yet i'm looking at your i'm looking at your penis tail back there these turtles and but but your toy back there while there is like a lion and a lump it is not nearly as vaginal as these original suits so i think they seeded some

of this material and they must have gotten the feedback uh why is why do they all have this is uh making me too hot uh all right let's edit where we all give you an ice pack to put on your forehead it's really jarringly uh so good for the but they adjusted like the makers of the sonic film they got feedback and they adjusted and made it doing the basic instinct leg cross it's all he's always got that trench coat on and with it with it with a shredder in the wayne knight position just kind of like peering am i seeing what i think i'm seeing sweat pouring down face this was what you're saying was not lost on me when i was six as a kid as a kid i had the big you see it in some of the promotional there's there was this big thick tall book you would get from pizza hut that was like a guy like a program essentially that you would get and i had it and we

had the cassette from pizza hut we knew the songs beforehand oh my mom would play the cassette she likes the songs she still remembers the songs um so i i had both tapes and that and i know the show you're the show wow our i'm trying to think when we got the tapes i don't know the timetable of the tapes but we had the cassette and the booklet pre-show wow so we knew the songs going in okay um and all those things you're saying i noticed and it didn't take me the vagina i didn't notice the vagina that's what we that's what it really sounded like you're right i was just sort of making a point about the inconsistencies and the strangeness because you could see that the costumes were different and then they had a different like the art on the front didn't quite match up with what they look like on stage.

No, that art of like, it's sort of probably Raphael kind of like shooting out of a void, shoving a guitar at you and shells done beautifully in the classic turtley turtle font. It's nicely done. I know for a fact I did not have that because i both admire that piece of art and find it a little unnerving and i think that would have upset me as a child because they're breaking through a shell like it's their own show no it's just that kind of level of detail that's sort of like it's a little ugly it's a little hyper real like um yeah there was some comics artists who like i like now but like when I was a kid,

like Bill Sienkiewicz, I would find very unnerving. And now he's like one of my favorites. I see what you're saying. Um, so, so to that point, and I know this is not a visual podcast, but when I was looking through the making of, uh, Scott's not gonna be able to see this. He probably has seen this before. When you go to five, uh, 57, uh yes i know 557 of course maybe you already know um they show a clip of because they play it basically like a very like a mockumentary

of like the turtles are real they were brothers this is they just decided and you're watching all these music executives yeah act and the guy who wrote the songs bob bijan who's a very interesting character okay uh who and i'll just say i'll say this actually just now do you know did you read anything about him a little bit he like is the head of something at microsoft he's a microsoft big wig i have it written down here chief development officer of msl group he's a co-founder and ceo of pbjs advertising and market like it's a marketing guy and then where's he's like something major i have so many gosh any damn links here and he also wrote the song tubing where the turtles sing about skateboarding and are in this sewer and are joined by alive crocodiles

he's the head of global events production studios in the marketing community at microsoft corporation i mean that's pretty good um heavy it was tubing about going through the sewer too i thought it was about like you got on a tube and you rode through the they like like an inner tube like an inner tube and i'm like why is there no fucking inner tubes in this number they're thinking about tubing i i took it as being a surfing like if you're surfing in a pipe you're tubing okay yeah but bob bijan leaves it up for interpretation i like that song that was one of my favorites of rediscovering these songs why do we what do we think about the songs in general i because we're now in a post

mcgruff world and we have to measure things on a mcgruff scale not as good as mcgruff not as good as mcgruff i like coming out of their shells i like sing about it tube in and i like count on us i will add walk straight to power i will add walk straight i don't really remember straight on my personal and i like the shredder song but that's a bigger piece of conversation that's a whole other yeah the song left off the album inexplicably and i'll we'll deal with it but the of the turtles actual music of their 10 song lp which they did put out an album yes um is the number one is it just coming out of our shells or is it count on us or i mean maybe we'll determine by talking about it a little. And the listener will help. I don't like skipping stones.

I certainly don't like skipping stones. I don't like it. Skipping stones is ridiculous. I wasn't crazy. I'm glad April had a number, which is hers. Oh, the April Ballad. It's called April Ballad. It's so lazy.

I was glad she had a number. You know what I'll say? I do like the Splinter costume. Looks great. But H this is the only one the only mouth that moves yeah the other ones move but just haphazardly and at an unpredictable rate and not along with the uh okay i may have just never noticed it it was so haphazard i just view it as like they like it's like arbitrary flaps it certainly is not lip sync which makes splinter all the more surprising when he does sing along i don't even so we start talking about something i want to sing about that i want to talk about that voice but where do we start let

me let me let me finish one thought i have here there's too many things to talk about um too many things too many things uh so in that making of so what i was saying 557 and scott you won't be able to see it but they're doing a a whole kind of mockumentary. I have the clip. I'll start playing it right here. And Jason will see what I'm talking about. This is how haphazard putting all of this material and making it the same and coordinating it was.

Jason, take a look and tell me if you see anything strange here. They are truly a band in the best sense of the word because they're brothers and been together forever and the music really reflects that um can you go back yeah 557 one more time there um i mean they don't look like they give a shit i agree with that do you know just take a look at their headbands for a second wait a second are there two michelangelo's i i've even in the final show they all it seems like two michelangelo's to me yeah the orange and the red are not very different yeah i mean i think that yeah when you get closer maybe but this is like clearly red purple two michelangelo's

yeah yeah and this is where one of them just has like a drum is that like a standing drum level drum it's a little drum again it's like a call it's two conga drums and he's got sticks and he's hitting the congas with sticks is really what it seems like oh no it's just a light i thought there was a boom mic in the shot too it's behind the scene so they could get away with it but that would still add to it uh so not they're not being careful with costume details this is another thing this is the behind the backstage turtles so they they have the bandanas but then they also have like these glittery stars like kiss kiss style yeah yeah yeah why did they bail on those those are a little cool but they already made the videos so there's parts of the show where by in the middle of act two you're not sure where the

turtles are they're somewhere in the bowels of the theater right planning their next move and then like uh they they usurp a news camera and use it to send a message to the audience we're still here but it's the old turtles calling yes the news guy by the way sucks do you know who the news guy is uh what's his name i mean the character i'm sure i'm very curious no to know who the actor is the actor is dave rubrecht the host of supermarket yeah come on no idea until checking it this week no i loved supermarket sweep as a kid i think he's great i think he's fun he uh and and not only that i have all this other stuff too that like uh um what you were watching in that main vhs that i rented so many times as a kid that is a cut down of the pay-per-view event that apparently took place the opening night

of this entire endeavor and radio cd music yeah venerable venue the most famous in the world um yeah it seemed like epic skiff a comic plays that you're like holy shit but then also remember the turtles played it a long time ago but so um there's that is an edited down version of a pay-per-view event and the pay-per-view had to kill way more time they needed like an intermission length to give all the guys in the suits a break so there is just minute upon minute of improvised dave rubric interviewing kids so what do you think and uh the turtles are uh i don't know what do you do what do we do to stop them uh we probably fight them fight them okay but remember turtle said don't fight we're not fighting today so what

do we do and the kids have no ideas like there's so much there's like 10 minutes of sweaty improv by this news anchor but god bless it i hey supermarket sweep uh one of my favorites these days still very regis like to me yeah very regis who also interacted with regis who also interacts that's a whole we can do a whole episode just on that too uh let me go here this i'll play a couple clips from the making of to sort of get you into like kind of the logic of the world a little bit yeah because we haven't even

played any songs yet yeah so like because you know whatever the kayfabe version of this is the wrestling term for you know so like this is

Michelangelo and Raphael talking about it it all start well it all started a long time ago back in the pet shop oh Mike stop goofing around he wants to know about it. And I was just banging on some sewer pipes when all of a sudden we realized we were making music. Oh, man, it was so bodacious. Just stretching those syllables out as much as they can.

So the backstory is that they accidentally were making music. Yes. And also, I believe later they conflict with the narrative of that Splinter told them to do the music as well. Because then they, I think later on, say, I don't have that clip pulled. Oh, no way they do it. He's like, Splinter, hopefully he was into the music. But he was. So they contradict the idea that Splinter told us.

Well, no, I think it, I'm not sure that idea is present. I think they organically started playing music. And then, oh, I see what you're saying. They were concerned that splinter would not approve because he doesn't want them out in public although remember he ultimately approved of the ninja rap occurring right he's ultimately if something fun happened he can loosen up right uh but he was totally on board violence is not as good as music uh so he wanted to get that message spread and then there was all then then the next step was uh donatello had to build a bunch of instruments a very important thing is that donatello built the instruments they could not go buy a guitar he had to he had to specifically craft i have i have him talking about it here. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I want to know.

This is my territory. He's showing Gearhead Supreme. I don't exactly know where it comes from, but I'm just good at building things. I guess I just love working with my hands. My hands. I don't know. I guess I love working with my hands. They call me Gearhead Supreme. I don't know i guess i love working with my hans they call me gearhead supreme i don't know where

it comes from because you're a machine guy i don't really know where it comes from tons of roadies and teamsters and stuff like on camera the other thing i read about the instruments is that story-wise donatello made them so that they could continue playing music even if the turtles stopped playing. Did anyone else come across that? So they could walk away. They could walk away from playing and the songs would continue.

Because you're correct. In a lot of the show, they just put down the guitars or walk away from the drums, but the music doesn't stop. So the logic is, in a Sunny Eclipse Space Angels-esque, let's insert the logic of why music doesn't stop so the logic is in a in a sunny eclipse space angels-esque let's insert the logic of why you aren't seeing them we have to explain why the

music keeps playing and why like maybe you keep hearing us sing even if our mouth isn't flapping donatello built a machine for that so they've over justified like five things that children would never notice there's a whole thing here. This whole clip just explains how they made their instruments. So building their instruments, it was difficult. They could have bought them. Go to the store. So he can do some amazing stuff on them.

And of course, they're all on MIDI pickups in their set. MIDI pickups. One string bass. One string bass for Leo. It's great. It's just amazing sounds. Why is that important to know? I don't know.

And then the keyboards that Donatello plays all have triple thickness keys. At least he doesn't have to hit like three or four notes at the same time. I mean, I love that. Kind of a stand-up kind of timbale set. And the synth pads that trigger drum sounds. They have not cut to who is speaking so i'm sure it's okay uh they missed something about what donatello did which is that he in the show clarifies that he built a shred scan into the synth yes yes so that they're aware if

shredder ever shows up and the one time that this is deployed, it does not work. Right. So good fucking work, Donatello. Yeah, he really screwed that up. So the last thing, look, you look this up. We'll post a link to it. The last thing I'll play from this, because we have to get to the songs, is the sponsor of the show, real quick, which...

Pizza Hut! So we said it already. It's Pizza pizza hut and then they do a whole they did like a whole press conference this is what's crazy too about this i feel like i guess maybe they would do that for like some sort of i'm trying to think was there a batman live press conference announcing that it was going around the country percent yeah i guess it was a i think this was maybe a new type of thing i think there was like disney on ice there was stuff like that but to do concert venues right maybe they had to justify it more and they were making a push they put out an album a real album with real musicians which i got

some crazy stuff about that but like i because i you're dealing with mca executives and i think one of the executive producers of this project was also Aerosmith's manager. Oh, yeah, I read that. Yeah. They see DC, too. So I think that maybe that's how they know how to do it. We're doing a tour.

We need a sponsor. We need a press conference. We need them to play on the marquee of Radio City Music Hall in a Beatles-esque fashion. Yes, which they did. did reminds me uh in in that article i found about when they played philadelphia as soon as this show ended uh december 27th disney on ice started at the other giant venue on the other side of town so whoever's booking these big shows was like coordinating it's like the smartest like hey you got kids home for christmas break here's a couple things they can go to here's how we rake in that cash yeah wow um and then they

make a point in the press conference about what's going on in just concerts in general these days and like any major rock and roll tour that takes place now you know a lot of times you need to affiliate with a sponsor and certainly we talked to the turtles about working with a sponsor for the tour but they wouldn't compromise they wouldn't sell out and uh that being said he's about to announce that they have a sponsor which means they sell out but also they did yeah he's landed on pizza pizza we went to see them because we thought it would be a natural fit and there was one guy at pizza hut who really saw the vision and the potential of this band uh he heard their first demos and knew that they could rock any house that they went to. And that man is David

Novak. David Novak. They didn't want to sell out until they met David Novak. David Novak of Pizza Hut, though, is just like any great Disney executive who gives a very stilted speech coming up here.

It's absolutely thrilled to get the world's most famous pizza eaters to hook up with the number one pizza company in the world. Pizza Hut will launch the most aggressive promotion ever done in the record industry to support the Turtles' new music, which I'm sure all of America will love. Raphael and Donatello have asked us to wait a couple of weeks to provide all the details. And we know you love the music, and we know America loves the music. They cut it in because this man is so boring.

They cut in turtles walking in and kids being distracted by the turtles because this speech is so boring. There's no way it was happening at the same time, but obviously whoever was editing the video was like, Oh, my God. Like a less charismatic Dick Gephardt. Yeah, really?ppard yeah really that same like blank smile yeah something just occurred to me i i know the name david novak you know david novak is he went on as probably through the pizza

hut ranks to become the executive chairman of yum brands oh my god so all of those, Pepsi and what's in your brands again? Taco Bell, Doritos, Mountain Dew. KFC. All of it is him. Is Novak. Is David Novak. He's a hero. I also, when I was writing the pilot for my show, Moonbeam City, I was like struggling. I was missing it and the name doesn't seem right.

And my main character, I was in LA Live and there was a sign for something where this guy was speaking and i was like novak that's good so my the main character of my show dazzle novak came from david novak wow yeah yeah the pizza hut man this boring pizza who i might have seen that name when i was six and absorbed it and had a fondness for it wow was pizza yum brains back then because it is yum it is now yeah i i'm not sure it's kfc pizza wow yeah he's the king of kings so he's been there forever and he brokered a deal with the ninja turtles but that may also he could have been the one who got them away from the pizza parlor to like the pizza hut cafe and then the pizza service you know what i hear what you're saying because i

am also upset about that yeah because pizza you and our home pizza that's an episode it's a patreon for sure i can tell the harrowing story of when i tried to have my eureka's castle batley puppet uh drink my drink and it spilled everywhere oh my god i was so mad and i'm still scarred from wow i had my first memories i think we had those fucking puppets as well uh yeah did you have pizza buffet out here i don't think so or did you remember hell yeah. Jason and I had pizza buffet where we come from. My family got real tired of it real quick. But for me, I was like, this is an evening.

I was going to say your family was like, we'll spend eight hours here and eat two meals. I would. I mean, I remember the salad bar. And there was still one or two in high school. And my friends and I would go for lunch on half days and stuff. I heard there was a pizza buffet still like maybe in santa monica up until a couple years ago beverly oh was that beverly i think like uh yeah that's what i heard of koreatown i dream i don't know if it's still what was in the buffet pizza if they would just come out and put pizza different kind of pizzas out you just go up and get this thing and it was crazy

it was the greatest because pizza was always my favorite of the trash pizzas. Of the quality of the Shakey's or a Sizzler or a Cece's. They're only the best restaurants. I'll say this, as it went on, the Pizza Hop they started to skimp a little because once they introduced the thin crust, they were bringing out

a lot of those thin crust or hand toss and it's just not as good. You need the pan. That pan you need that grease yeah this is what i mean i think this was maybe the sellout nature obviously the turtles love pizza that's the way into their heart but they ended up with the pizza monolith instead of a mom and pop and they shouldn't have turned against their instincts although the turtles as 16 year olds probably don't have a lot of opinions about corporations and conglomerates and monopolies, but they had to grow up fast, you know, as rock stars and killers,

killers, murderers, yeah. Professional murderers, rock stars, murderers. Well, I mean,

do we start talking about, I mean, we, we could also, there's's there's the question that i have about who is in these suits doing all of this improv because there's the fairly famous fact of who played the turtles not in the show but in the they would the turtles are coming to philadelphia the day before the the the b team's rolling in although maybe they're not even the b team because these are professional improvisers who will get you excited to come to the show and among the four turtles ben grant and michael leon black two of the state two of the state still burgeoning at this time fresh out of nyu and preparing to make their series the state and i read somewhere that when they had to present the

news to the other 19 however many people were in that group that a literal fist fight broke out because it was going to delay their progress yeah there was like the state had a blow up because of this ninja turtles thing that is what i've heard as well uh that that was a big problem because all of a sudden it was like two of our members are gone for the summer or the fall whatever see that's you know that's what happens when you have all americans in your group because the story is about kids in the hall when a couple two or three of them went to go work on snl before the kids in the hall thing was like yeah and then uh mark and bruce went down and uh worked on snl for the kids in the whole thing was like yeah and then uh mark and bruce went down and uh worked on snl for a year so we kind of had to put put things on hold a little

and that's it this is canadian well that's the end of that i guess i guess we'll just uh it's a fun group we had there yeah oh they came back uh i guess we can do our own tv show but the americans fought the americans fought they fought and punched if only splinter had gotten to tell them punch here's how you really punch ken marino listen to me comedy is more powerful than violence um so that's i mean those are the main facts to know um yeah but you know not them in the show maybe i don't know maybe some video or something it's them but other than that i'm not sure who's in the the costumes i can i know who's singing on the album but that's a whole different thing there's a lot of voices contributing to the uh uh to the the tapestry of this show but i think we should probably start talking about about the show itself so as established the

turtles started making music they're going out on tour um in the actual video there's a lot of like generic people like hammering sets together and loading amps into trucks but then they rise up and out of the stage not synced up very little is synced up in the show though they're trying but like dance moves are all a little off those rising platforms don't work great but i but i love the sloppiness i think it's wonderful yeah it's it's interesting because i think there's a big it's a mash-up of all uh it's a mash-up of all styles of music at the time that are popular i think maybe at a certain point they were like well these this is like the new kids on the block turtles there's a couple songs feel like that and they do a little bit of like hinting at dance moves but i have to imagine if that was ever

the plan they were like we don't have time for this and there's no way to get these guys up to speed yeah it just it would be such a choreography classes such another level of having to perform yeah so if they just sort of dance and sort of fight because boy that section where they fight you could i'm being generous calling it fighting yeah it's it is very uh yeah as you when i would watch it on on a video i was definitely underwhelmed by it as a kid i will say live i thought it was real i thought shredder was real and i was worried when he he says he's gonna lock the doors to the theater i thought that was real

and i was really scared that worked on me yeah uh and then i think it was before it was for sure before intermission because then it was like they called the intermission and i was like how how are we getting i didn't shut or lock the doors and yeah this because this is a problem for me too because we saw peter pan before that and uh the pirates would stick their head out of the dressing room in the lobby oh and oh shit i was at the water fountain and there was a mirror next to it and i looked over and there were pirates sticking their head out and it was real i was like oh shit it's real did is it just that we're all weirdos who we were the type of like softy kids who thought everything was real or do all kids think that and just they moved on and don't talk about it

or they pretend they pretend they weren't scared by everything i think i think there's a little bit of column a a little bit of column b but i think the ones who were really scared uh definitely go into the arts and that's why we know we're scaredy cat kids because we all yeah yeah we're all like huddling together yeah in our in our little fields yeah i don't know exactly what it is i guess we were uh soft i suppose you could say uh i i mean i don't yeah i don't know i'm trying to think like if my mom was definitely like, you know, this isn't real. Don't worry about it. Like this is just a fun show or she wanted to maintain the illusion. We were just so swept up in illusions.

We appreciated everything so much that we wanted to make it dimensional mentally, which if you've never seen this tape and you watch it now and imagine people being scared by it. Oh my gosh. There's a moment in the moment that scared me the most. And it, this, this was a little revelation for me. I am the most scared when supermarket sweep host Dave Rubrecht,

uh, during the, when shredder takes over, he uses his machine to silence Dave Rude to take his voice away. And he is kind of magically, with no special effects indicating this, slammed up against like a power grid or something. And he shakes and the lights flicker on and off. It goes like negative to not negative, like public access video effect.

And I thought that was real. I was like, he is using some kind of psychic power to silence this man i thought that was something that could happen and i've talked before on the show but the other thing that scared me the most which was earnest on goes to splash mountain in which there is a back and forth strobe effect and then his hair switches between being regular and big and tall like the bride of frankenstein i guess i was scared of the idea of electrocutions as a child no matter how comical the presentation right i think i was scared in like the adams family if that ever happened they played with the chair and they flipped the lever well all that stuff yeah was that that we saw the adams

family and i was traumatized a little bit by it too which i honestly was also traumatized by home alone oh a lot of electrocution in that and i like i knew that that was bad for you and i like there was images of violence i loved that movie but i would have to like gear up for the final third like when it goes dun dun dun dun dun dun when it gets into that i'm like okay get ready you can do this you can do this scott it's what i do now when i'm going on a mild roller coaster, I had to like psych up like I was going into battle. You are calling your accountant. You can get through this. You can get through.

Why calling my accountant? Yeah, I was going to say, why the accountant? Oh, just that it carried over into your adult life. Oh, sure. Just every day. Hashtag adulting. Oh, okay. Please, I can't.

Don't let me get audited. Don't let me get audited don't let me get audited um i don't know it's auditing today it was electrocution then yeah i i think as a kid i agree that i was scared by this stuff but one thing as a kid i quickly fell out of favor with here's the toughest one of the three of us when he was a kid okay when they turn to the audience and say like where is he have you seen him and like the first couple times i remember his kid going like he's behind you and then they do it for like a minute and so after the first few times i was like i don't this is fate okay

you're not listening to us anyway so i'm not playing along with this bullshit anymore that stressed you out i was like yeah i just, I just was. I was just like, come on. I think I bought it because it happens in this. Shredder freezes everyone. Then he makes his presence known and doesn't like slash their throats while they're frozen or anything, which would make a lot of sense.

And then they unfreeze the turtles and then go back to the show and they're like, have you guys seen anything weird? And there's all these children's they're like, have you guys seen anything weird? And there's all these children's voices being like, Shredder was there. They're like, what? We can't hear you. And then it's like, it was frustrating for me at the time.

I wasn't up on that trope yet, I guess. Why'd you ask us if you can't hear us from there? Seems like you've heard other things. You heard when we all yelled pizza. You sure heard that. Yeah. It seems like they're tro other you heard when when we all yelled pizza you sure heard that yeah yeah it seems like they're trolling us yeah for no reason yeah this is i think a lot of why i love that kind of thing that he's behind you and the hammy villain who sort of roasts the audience so like so much that i love that is in theme park shows but it's more i love it more from this from

coming out of their shells yeah we'll get to let's say let's do it a little chronologically but the shredder centerpiece in the in the middle is uh oh yeah it's uh next level um i will say that baxter stockman is in this which i appreciate as a side character for uh ninja turtles but he is not fly baxter which is my preferred version yeah baxter turns into the fly later guy yeah yeah just the guy he looks like the mad scientist in like any nickelodeon like live show like what it was i think it was it was the paramount parks yeah where they had like the slime and naters It's off the charts. Right. I like those guys. The tape on the glasses.

Yeah, yeah. Big teeth and crooked bow tie. Do we start listening to... Let's start listening to some of these tunes, dude. Let's do the Tappanin. So there's two versions of like the title song. There's the acoustic version, which is on the album. And then there's the version that's in the show.

But like on the album, because it's the clearest we'll play a little bit and it's a real like let me zoom it up here like extreme or like air supply like some like 80s ish yeah very much so more than words. Yeah. This is, again, this is acoustic version, you know. This is the chilled out version. This is like the unplugged. This is like the Clapton singing Lola, but it's just him and a guitar on a stool. It's just fun.

This is the beginning of the album. Yeah. There are songs that are certainly more in the tone of what you think the Turtles are. Oh my god. I guess I couldn't stop that. Yeah. If they weren't singing about Shell, how is this about turtles?

How does this reflect the Ninja Turtles in any way? Yeah. There are songs on the album they go oh this makes a lot of sense but this one uh feeling wise he's just a guy he's the little bit too showy with that voice um yeah why is it such a somber intro to the wind in the show it's my favorite song yeah it's good i have a little energy i think i have a little of it i have a little clip if you want to pull it up on Is it one? It's six.

Okay. It's about six out of our shells. Okay. You can hear the... There's a note in this that's something else. So much better. The harmonies. So much energy. Here it comes hey live performing is recorded is it recorded yeah i think so oh at least every version i heard

of it uh it was the same they sing it the same amount of shitty on oprah oh i think i got i got confused because i thought the vocals were live and everything else was pre-recorded because that that's really bad it's very bad and if they're live in the costumes doing it i forgive that because my goodness having to do that in the costumes is crazy a lot of work yes but uh would you would you would you like to jump around and hear the other craziest musical moment in it actually we're doing it i'll save that here let's let's go in order uh okay yeah yeah um coming out of our shows i i like this one uh anybody feel free to call it lyrical moments that you oh yeah yeah i like when they all go wonderful sound yeah

and it's the thesis of the show right because it's like this is their coming out party essentially this is their um this is the world introducing themselves to the world as musicians now this is the the scary thing to do if you're prominent in another art form yeah yeah this is performed primarily by and this is just like you know i like always to talk about beatles and which beatles did which song this is primarily a rafael song okay okay so that's we gotta keep in mind the so honestly now that i'm thinking about it the somber tone of the acoustic version is probably more what rafael likes yeah he's tortured frankly he's definitely the most tortured he's the john he's got kind of the the the tart uh yeah so like okay yeah rafael

for sure yeah i think it's easy it's leo is paul raf is john uh don is george and michelangelo's ringo the gearhead he yeah he's the quiet but don is tells quiet he's like the quiet one um and george and joy yeah and george does machines george does machines i was always ringo is a party dude i was always tinkering with machines that's what he says ninja beatles yeah it's a good mashup that is a good matchup waiting that way as we start no no no man i don't do that anymore very familiar refrains of the no no song you picked yeah

Ringo's no no song familiar to everyone listening sure what's up next I mean on the album it's sing about it right about this next also performed by Raphael okay which is see

everything is a little bit inconsistent with the way they were this audio quality give us a... But it's on Apple Music. Really? Yeah, you can get a full good version of it on Apple Music. You can also find it on the Internet Archive. Not as good quality.

Yeah, so this is very much like a... This feels very much of its time as well with a little more like those intros that I opened specifically. No drum has ever been more echoey than these drums. What's kind of the thesis of this song? What's happening here? Maybe it's awesome and you know you're on top.

You feel like you're out of your shell. You're going to pop. to pop just sing about it i mean this is sort of just a good life advice song um there's not a ton of plot in the actual show well for the first half is essentially a concert yeah at this point for the first few songs there's no threat of shredder he's maybe referred to right but we assume he's in jail uh rotting you would hope he's nowhere near here we're dead in hell where he belongs being poked and prodded by pitchforks, reliving his most painful childhood memory over and over again. I had a problem in this where it's like, we're no longer living in secret

because as a kid, I was like, well, I watch them on TV every day and also they have a movie, so it's not super secret. I have all these action figures. It's complicated to chart. This comes up in the oprah appearance there's a lot of sorting out the math they present it as if they're the real turtles and a cartoon

was based on them but maybe it was not readily apparent that they were out in the world as well and kids there's a q a session oprah's going up to kids who like but how can you be here but you're but also then you're in the cartoon. Yeah. And nobody knows how to answer that. Yeah, it's fumbly. How did you feel? Like as a kid, so as much as I thought live, I was like, oh, okay, this is real.

And Shredder's going to kill me. I did, when I was watching the tapes, I was able to separate all of the different versions. Because as a kid, I would have, and this is very, very common, you would have comics based on the thing you liked, a TV show, and then a movie, and maybe toys as well. In my head, I was always like, this comic is the real Turtles. Everything else is sort of a different version of it. So that's how I would always classify it.

But did you ever think about that as a kid? I thought the cartoon and the action figures were the canon. The movie, I remember seeing the original movie at like a friend or relative's house but we only had secret of the ooze on on vhs vhs and that was the sillier one so i was like okay well that's close that's kind of close to the cartoon kind of close to the action figures like with x-men when when my friend luke and i started watching the cartoon i wasn't reading x-men and then i started reading the x-men comics and me it was like okay what's really happening with the x-men is the comic and i like this cartoon a lot but that's not that's like an adaptation of it see the comics were so impenetrable to me until like third or fourth grade the cartoon was easier to swallow but i just loved looking at the i would

look at the art all of a lifelong day and kind of absorb this story right but you know what i'm saying did you have that kind of classification in your head of like this is the real story and then all this stuff is just fun stuff i like that are different versions yeah kind of i think with the x-men it started with the cartoon and then became the comics right yeah that makes sense coming out of their shells was real to me the rest was sure yes everything else was indifferent just like star wars is just a bunch of stuff happening rex's periphery right i guess there's a war or something sure um uh where are we going to it's at least in the show we're oh wait well the album is different i don't know if we're doing show order out well we can jump around the show we end up at uh the the turtles start

asking the audience what is our what is it that gives us power what is it pizza pizza and then which their response is they don't just say yeah they say it gives us our strength it gives us our strength like sector keeper force yeah yeah really uh this is the time too where there's um backup dancers flinging styrofoam pizzas into the audience in pizza hut uniforms and i we were close we had good seats we got seats through my dad somehow or through a friend of my father's um he was not there my grandfather went with us who fell asleep a couple songs in perfect and was just dead asleep the whole time uh and i stayed asleep during uh follow your heart how did he manage to believe it or not

he wasn't so engrossed in the show um but i remember this when the when the the pizzas were being flung they were styrofoam, not styrofoam, like soft material. What am I looking for? Do you know what I'm talking about? Foam? Oh, God, Jesus Christ. Foam, yeah. So they were whipping foam pizzas on the audience.

And I wanted one of these pizzas so bad. I was not an aggressive kid. No? Believe it or not. Believe it or not. And I remember there were kids just because there was a dog fight in the aisle for one of these and i just was not assertive it was a problem my dad told me in soccer it was a problem in a lot of different things uh is that i was i did not make

more brushstrokes the portrait of mike carlson unlike the portrait of dorian gray doesn't age but the portrait gets cornier and more aggressive and it looks like one of those uh like things painted on a car on like a 50s car the guy with the bugging eyes and reaching out yeah like a rat thing that's what the portrait of mike is what are you talking about well you you just age was cool yeah that's why i'm saying the portrait gets cooler oh okay it's a like fuzzy little mouse and then it turns into rat so i'm right but it's still a cartoon but then in real life you just get you know you're just got like more asexual and more square but the portrait's

cool well then you should not have picked rat thing because he's like one of the coolest most sexual that's what i'm saying. The fortune's cool. But as we know, Comic Mike is the real Mike. Well, that's true. And then this other Mike is just like, it's part of the mythology. This is Podcast Mike. This is a different guy. Podcast Mike's kind of in the middle.

It kind of goes both ways. He's just an adaptation of the regular one. Podcast Mike drinks Sprite for breakfast. Hell yeah. So, pizza power. Pizza power. breakfast hell yeah so pizza power pizza power so a friend of mine who i'm now realizing was a big liar in elementary school said he did go to the show but then claimed that he got one of the foam pizzas and now that i'm thinking about it i i don't think that might be i should ask him

produce it i should ask him if that actually happened because this is i think i've said this on the show before he's one of the kids that would like tell me lies about stuff and he told me that there was a naked marvel comic where stanley would sign like the boobs of the girls that he drew and i was like at the time i even was like does stanley draw which he doesn't no or he like sketched but he would lie about a lot of stuff so i'm wondering wondering now if he lied. Because I was jealous. You're like, I want to see the naked comic. That was a couple years later. If he doesn't, though, he wouldn't have been doing the art. I would not like to see rogues' breasts.

That doesn't make any sense to me. It's a bit bawdy. Child Mike is like, unless you have a Tijuana Bible, the unauthorized porno comics, I doubt that you sincerely have that i did look i did want to see the marvel swimsuit edition okay well those are a whole thing i was that is by the way scott that is real multiple ones a couple there's a couple years in a row in the 90s where marvel put out a pin-up swimsuit edition of the comics of the women and the men so like sexy punisher to be fair yeah men and women but it's like captain america with his a big bulge and his american flag speedo when are they going

to start doing this with the movies that's the way to go back and get more stories yeah redo them all but like it's not porn but it's like magic mik'd out. Yeah. You've got to settle for tasteful vanity fair spreads, unfortunately, with the wits. Where they look kind of handsome. Yeah. There's a series of cards from the 1995 Fleer X-Men cards where they're all on the beach. The X-Men are all on the beach. And you get Hunky Bishop. You get Hunky Cyclops.

And you get Sexy Storm. What was the name of that series? Oh, uh, who was it? The Fleer Fleer. I don't know. You said it really fast.

And I thought you said fully erects men. I thought you were talking about some pornographic. No, no. The fully erects men. That's a good idea. Fleer was the name of the card company. They were playful though.

Like Wolverine was barbecuing hot dogs with his claws. He had like hot dogs on his claws playful like the comedy at a burlesque show yeah yeah exactly the one weird one the x the one weird one weird one is that like jubilee is like dumping uh uh suntan lotion on professor x's head and if you really think about it jubilee is very young and she's 60 years old she's like 16 at that professor in that way though that being said there's a lot of uh storylines about professor like fantasizing about gene gray his young student so there's all yeah that's the whole thing brian singer didn't bring the weirdness uh no no but he was drawn to it because he's oh that explains because of his uh illness right right uh so anyway pizza power

i don't know what the i have i don't have these lyrics in my head at all and i said lizards and tadpoles yeah i i mean i have all the i have all the lyrics right here let's hear it um we'll play it yeah and then uh yeah this is... It's the lyrics, Growing Up in a Glass Bowl with Chameleons, Lizards, and Tadpoles. I need you tonight. The coolest guitar. No. Whose lyrics?

Okay, so that lyric is, lettuce leaf and a carrot, maybe a seed from a parrot. Believe me when I tell you the word gourmet just don't exist. So this is about them as little turtles. Yes, before the mutation, they're just in a pet shop or whatever, and they are lucky if they get a lettuce leaf and a carrot or a seed from a parrot, which I'm confused by so if my two cats came to life and became part human which is a horrifying thought and then started eating steaks or burgers if your cats became swat cats oh oh that's fine sure i like the sound of that

but maybe they'd sing a song about like, we only ate kibbles. Yeah, they would bitch about what you were... Maybe a loose piece of cheese. Yeah, if Edwin, who was sitting on the couch here, he would be really mad at what I have not let him have to eat. They're going to murder us if this mutation ever happens. Well, they become squat cats. They have the full force of the state behind the violence of the state fist.

I better start giving my cats pizza now it's an emergency yeah the lyric is a pizza power a flying saucer food delight which it's i guess flying saucer because it works in the show they're like flying a saucer shape i guess that's saucer food it's still not quite kidding no um and then it's this is the one i've described as my favorite and yet i'm i've had my fill of pizza power i think walk straight is still my favorite oh sure but i like pizza power i think i also like pizza power because it's it makes the most sense this is a turtle show it's about pizza there's an origin in it uh so like this is what you want you want a song about pizza yeah sure and it's another audience because there's some songs because some of that other some of the songs are just like kind of

about just like being being good good and true to your friends. No Treaties, particularly. I'm confused by being on that. What a title. It's very interesting to me. Sounds like a Mountain Goats song. Yeah. It's really serious.

Yes. Very serious song. So yeah, Pizza Power, we can keep moving here. You mentioned the good guitar. And just to break up. Oh, please, yes. I mean, I have a couple things about who played on the record. But let me just say, I'll do it in pieces.

I will say there's a couple credited guitarists, including a guy named Phil Shannale, who wrote the song Holding Out for a Hero. Oh, yeah. From Footloose, Bonnie Tyler's song. But four credited guitarists, and one of them is a guy just named Spaceman. I clicked on his Discogs. His full name is Spaceman Patterson. Very highly regarded, largely jazz guitarist. He was in Miles Davis' touring band before this.

And then he's playing these turtle parts. He's recently played with Frank Ocean a bunch. But the most interesting credit in this guy's discography and i won't get off track for too long here but he played on an album from 2009 called the cosnerati presents state of emergency does that ring a bell no what is that uh would you let's analyze that word cosnerati any familiar sounds in there c-o-s cosnerati oh my god this was oh my god a rap album oh my god executive produce oh no hey hey hey oh no bill cosby oh no cosby made a full he's credited as like the designer i think the i think it was like well it's the cosnerati presents so he made up like a wu-tang-esque like organization name scarier than the foot clan

i'll tell you that much uh the cosnerati and so he doesn't play on it he doesn't sing on it he's just like he presented he funded a rap album my My goodness. And would you, and then, and Spaceman, the Turtles, one of the Turtles guitarists, like played most of the instruments on it. Would you like to take a wild guess as to what the Cosmorati Presents Day of Emergency mostly consisted of? Rap. Rap is a problem. Bill Cosby was always complaining about rap and how people wore their pants.

Well, he combines his two favorite things to complain about. He uses rap to tell black people to pull their pants up. It is an album of scolding and fixture problems. Jesus. I never heard of this. What a piece of shit. What a massive piece of shit. I heard about this a long time ago on the AV Club's Least Essential Albums list of 2009,

which is a feature of theirs I loved. But that one stuck with me the cosnerati gee whiz off you hate rap music but you will use it to scold what an asshole go to hell bill cosby so anyway uh there is shared personnel between the cosnerati and the turtles my goodness let's get back into more pleasant things. I just couldn't not. You can't undo the Cosnerati. I do see one as no second gate episode of the Cosnerati. You will not be getting that.

Sometimes we say, you know what would be fun? Not in this case. That's the end of the Cosnerati on this show. That being said, let's cut to three years down the line and we're like, what do we got here?

We need a Cosnerati episode. Cosnerati. All right. It'll be all Bill Cosby's music. It'll be Fred Aldrin and then the cosnerati well what's next or we maybe we do uh do you want to talk about walk straight yeah yeah what's the you have the order in front of you or the actual show the album

order is different than i mean the next in my list well the next in my list is skipping stones yeah i'm ready to talk skipping i'm ready to talk as a kid like you're saying i hated skipping stones i fast forwarded as well i was ready to talk as a kid like you're saying i hated skipping stones i fast forwarded as well i was fast forwarded the reason and let me start playing it while i talk the splinters song oh an important thing before you start playing it uh splinter comes out then talks and he talks about the power of the ninja and communicating with your fellow warriors and the spirit of he talks like that and then the singing begins yes singing is different it's very different and also the video they play during the

concert it's another situation where it's a different splinter costume yeah it's much different and he's it's song about skipping stones and he skips stones and he's like with a child and he's by like he's in central park or something it looks like they just took a camera crew maybe it's not central park there's a camera crew out and just like we got five so we got we got hey kid you want to be in a video with master splinter and i if i was a kid i'd be like yes please oh yeah absolutely but it's yes i very like it's like tinted blue and shaky shots from across the street of like a poor guy in the street yeah uh very like when all the artists did their like issue songs that's kind of what we're looking at here um so let me keep i'll start playing and keep talking because it's got a long intro uh yeah but as a kid fast forward right right away um

because it was slow i would skip skipping stones yeah slow songs were just automatically boring yes yeah sure like part of our world, but not. Yes, I like party, but even that one I wasn't so into until I was a little older. Now the reason I don't hate this still is that he sounds a little bit like he's doing a

Springsteen voice. Certainly, yes. And it seems like this could be on Tunnel of Love or something. Can you imagine Bruce singing this? Just imagine Bruce singing this? All right, here, let's just imagine Bruce. Close your eyes and think of Bruce. Like, imagine Springsteen on Broadway. I was at the river the other day.

We're going to need some quiet right now. I'm riding right set free I'm standing I'm going to keep on going. Skipping stones.

That's what I, yeah. Can't see nothing in front of me. Let's just hear it. Now that sounds like Axl Rose, that delivery. Oh, sure. That sounds like November Rain. Yeah. So the verse...

What's that? Now he's more in Axl mode. That kind of wave. What's that sound? Is it more in axle mode. That kind of wave. What's that sound? Is it a guitar? Is it a... Is it a b-boy on the fritz? That's guitar.

Yeah, those are guitars. Cosner, I'd go. I'm on a search for happiness. Search for happiness. This could be at the end of the river. This could be the big song at the end of the river this could be the big song at the end of the river if he had to perform streets of philadelphia after having been hit in the head with a couple times he could i believe though springsteen did that you'd be like pretty good it's pretty good the song itself is not really a problem but this if you actually if you pull up my file of skipping

stones yeah and i will that's the official file kind of jump to the uh kind of the worst that it here we go when he sings me here making a meal of it that's he's totally imitating Axl Rose there. I'm in the pain of glass. Oh, skipping stones. And here comes the peak. Water surrounds me.

He thinks there's something real mantra about water surrounds me. The time for rings has passed. Okay, here we go. Oh, Jesus. Okay, here we go. Jesus. How is that justifiable? Who? They didn't ask for another take.

And by that point, there's been a spoken word interlude where he reminds you again that his speaking voice is because the power is inside. Why couldn't he have sung it like that? Why did it have to be a radically different voice? Because, yeah, a lot of the turtles, or I think all of them, have like singing voices and regular voices. But this one is maybe the most dramatic where you would be like, huh? Not two people who never met. Yeah. dramatic where you would be like huh it's not two people who never met yeah uh also the speaking

splinter sounds very at peace and the yeah the other one sounds like he's like having an operation done uh if yeah um so this one's unjustifiable a little bit. I mean, but I enjoy it a lot. And imagine that this is the most articulated puppet. He's blinking. His mouth is moving. I think just as a character, even Splinter, I like so much more now. As a kid, you're like, ah, he's the dad. He has to like, get out of here, old man.

Let the kids play. He's always getting his ass kicked by like one guy. Slow him down. But I'm a big splinter guy now and i do i think this i think i may like this song more than other songs on the album just because of it being so interesting because you're like you like dad rock now because i'm a dad rocker dad rock i have to say i think they spent all the money on the splinter costume and had none left for shredder well shredder is just not even in cartoon world it feels very halloween store samurai yeah i mean there's other songs well i guess walk straight and tube yeah i mean we don't have to spend a ton of time on all of them i have not much to say about tube in other

than that there's well it's your crocodiles in it and it's obviously a nod to your favorite band it is and it was nice to hear some 90s beach boy-esque i think is yeah like you said like uh you know like the simpsons just fit next to ninja turtles for you my childhood interests were all included the simpsons and the beach boys sure they were and the ninja turtles they're all the same to me the the song tubing is exactly like the 90s beach boy album summer in paradise uh which was supposed to have a rap from bart simpson on it uh and was the first uh major label album made on pro tools so it sounds it has not held up super well so both so it's surf music that is very tinny. Yes.

It's very... The Turtles and Beach Boys both had it going on. Yeah, we'll give a little tube in here. Let's go to that. But that's another... What instrument is that? I think that is a keyboard. I think that's like...

You think? That seems like a Mario music maker guitar. Perhaps it's a synth or a MIDI patch. Like they were talking about. It's possible. A patch, a MIDI ready. Tubin, one of my least... It's a surfing subterranean.

Yeah. So it's not about inner tubing, Jason. One of my least favorite songs is Tubin, I think, on the album. Really? Yeah. No, I'm not any more fond of it because it was tubing through the sewers like as a pastime i mean unless you call that surfing subterranean surf surf surf surf surf

um no i don't care for this yeah it's it's okay i think it's fun it's is that your favorite it's up there i think you know what i like the first three songs on the album and that tends to be i i have a history of like with albums liking the first three like i remember in high school like the first three tracks on white blood cells the white stripes album being like this is great are you sure it's not just an attention span thing? It's partly an attention span thing. Yeah, no, that's definitely, they start to drift. What's the April ballad of White Blood Cells? Oh, yeah.

What's the skippable? Oh, I don't know. Do you go like, we're going to be friends? Do you like that? Boring, boo. That's for dads. I like we can be friends. Yeah.

We are going to be friends. we are gonna be friends it's like the theme to conan's podcast i yeah those are similar well jack yeah no it is it is what he's using that as his podcast right it's about being friends uh i think on the next album on elephant it's the well it's true that we love one another right uh-huh i love jack white like little brother yeah i like that song i yeah i think at the time i skipped it now i like it what are the all of the analogs between the white strips and the in the turd ninja turtles um all right i guess we go to walk straight sure which i enjoy a lot more i think even than i liked as a kid Because I don't think I don't think I understood grooves As a child

You didn't understand great grooves Like this The verse is good Is this the most hip hophop influenced song on the album? I think it is the hip-hop. Yeah. It's somewhere between Hangin' Tough and My Prerogative. Yeah.

That's very much right. The walk straight is actually the worst part of the song, I feel. Yeah. That's kind of boring. This is great. And then it kind of takes a... That goes back in the verse, sorry. What is this song about?

I think it's about not doing drugs? I think so. Growing up in the 90s, I really thought that around every corner was a child doing hard drugs yeah men with trench coats will be everywhere you'll know they're bad it's a better like hip-hop song than uh uh where they introduce themselves which is what cowabunga okay though i have an

appreciation for that as well no of course uh these look these are all great uh walk straight good i think it's good i don't i'm confused that don't mutate yeah never got to mutate but they mutate right that's the that's the problem is that they mutated and it turned out good for them honestly so yeah so maybe i should do drugs as well so yeah it's a very confusing message and they're using mutate i think to like you know when your brain changes its brain chemistry changes doing drugs i assume that's what they mean um yeah talk straight be straight and i assume they mean of course not on drugs not heterosexual i assume it was who knows then who knows what the secret

anyone was trying to get out yeah yeah what the government pay you know we'll pay you five hundred thousand dollars if you put in a heterosexual message into this show we're getting a lot of kids into a theater and we need to set them right we need to make sure we need to fix um you may be you may not be green and have a cool shell but you'll be you and you'll do it so well it's also i think maybe just saying like don't give it to peer pressure be yourself be yourself that's a nice message not too much of yourself you little freaks or you'll end up going into the arts like a bunch of weirdos i guess maybe what they mean by mutate is like you're gonna change to be something you're not to uh to uh to try to be in a different group

of friends you think are cooler or something you know in the genre of songs that are about like don't do bad stuff this could be this is less embarrassing than other versions of that again i have to say i'm great i'm grading on the mcgruff curve at this point the problem is that's impossible three months ago it's a whole other ball game the mcgruff curve is insane yeah that's like that's like grading this against the after the gold rush by neil young or something that's like this is a that's a classic album this is obviously like got some fun stuff and kitschy factor but mcgruff is legit good it's more about the experience which mcgruff mcgruff is a purely good album this is an interesting package yes and to that end maybe now it's time to talk

about what really sets this apart in my book because i forgot something in the narrative towards the end of skip and stones that video where splinter is meditating with new york children starts to skip and interrupt and who should interrupt the feed but shredder shredder is not only a video presence he's in the theater he also at some point in act one freezes them and they don't know what happened it's not being picked up on the shred scan uh as we said what happened shredder but after walk straight the foot clan invades and as i said this is not a stunt show so there is a lot of very distant punching and kicking uh a lot of flashing lights meant to distract from the fact that there is no choreograph there's a lot of quips there's something about there's there's one this is one thing bow don't

know so that's for monday yeah and then he he says, get it, Bo. What? Yeah. Yes. What do you, why would that help me get it? Does he mean that it's a reference also to his weapon? A Bo? Because Jonathan is a Bo staff. Oh.

So that must be what it is. All right. Well, mission not accomplished. I didn't get it. The jokes are so stiff. There's a weird running Barry Manilow joke. Yes. There's an Elvis thing thing which is again every time

elvis and kids entertain in the 1990s elvis was 40 plus years old like who could not care like well there's still the elvis in vegas when is that show gonna die never like how many elvis and person is still doing like for whatever reason that's still yeah his cultural impact is still being felt there's a reference in there's a section in the show where um you know here i don't i don't even want to get ahead of myself let's let's let me stay on track uh uh fighting happens but the turtles are overtaken for some reason because there is a loud machine shredder has shown up and revealed that he got into the theater with lax security because he showed up

with a stage filling machine called the deharmonic convergence controller holy shit this thing is terrifying however it also involves like a trash can and a tube where you put music in and then it spits it out as confetti so there's a much more i don't know why they need the full room's worth of industrial fans yes how did the is it just to cool down the the tube and the gun they get that hot under stage lighting maybe that must be it could be that um but things have built to such a point that the turtles just have to leave and they just say we'll be back unclear why they're leaving but then in the most terrifying moment of your childhood uh shredder throws to intermission and he says he's gonna lock the doors and he says i like this for this still scares me a little bit i'll tell you when i want you back so the intermission occurs i i there's all this stuff with Dave Rubrik, but I'm going to skip it because I need to talk about the song.

I hate music. This is the center. Why do I care about this? Why do I was I excited about doing an episode? I love I hate music with all my heart. I hate music is a song, a song that shredder sings about hating music. It is a musical ode to no music music what a wonderful conundrum enigma uh i love it so much um before that shredder after intermission kids are chanting turtles turtles

to their chagrin the turtles do not show up but rather uh April, who is tied to a big rope, and then the foot army, and then Shredder, who still has control of the stage. And he proceeds to just do, like, roast material at the audience for a full seven minutes. That I liked. It is so much fun. I could just swim in that. It could not be long enough it's it is he just paces back and forth the camera's at dutch angles just zooming in and out we are so far gone from concert at this point it is not tight it is not tidy we're just what like children are screaming

kids are in the aisles shaking swords around while this actor just hurls insults. So the thing about Shredder, he has kind of a voice modulator on. So everything, dialogue is all... It's all part... But it's also like whiny. There's like a whiny quality to it because of the modulator as well. Yeah, that makes anything sound funny yeah and especially just roast jokes that he called he's first of all a lot of it he's like fishing for

something like you hey what's your name ben is it what is it ben oh big ben and that's all he gets out that's the joke there he does have a good one in his pocket which he says who's that your sister no no a friend no okay a cousin oh cousin what's the matter couldn't get a date that's the best joke of the whole show and then the kid keeps yeah these kids are so in it they They all think it's real. They are committed. If they don't fight right now, verbally, everything's fucked. So the kid who got that insult keeps fighting.

He says, who do you hang out with? Who do you hang out with? And it's pitched. It's like a high pitched kid's voice and it's barely miked. So it's a detail. You have to have watched this many times to have heard it. As I have. Have I watched this whole video a lot of times no have i watched i hate music frequently i sure have uh uh it's it's so delightful i i remember this part of the show

when he was addressing the audience how was this in person i was terrified i didn't want him to notice me i was like please don't notice me and there were kids in the aisle. My sister, three years younger than me, was dancing in the aisle. I don't recall if she, I don't think she was yelling at Shredder, but she was very comfortable to like dance and like yell with the kids in the aisle. I was not. I wanted to stay in my seat because I was very worried that Shredder would notice me and murder me. Hey, you, you don't seem too comfortable in your skin, do you? Probably a lot of insecurities uh

for afraid that i'm talking to you right now yeah we gotta get out of here and then he just and then like it stops being heard he just like slices you with his wrist guard kills me my worst fear there's a cooler painting of you in an attic somewhere another favorite joke of mine you know i think i've seen your face on a milk carton recently which i put into moonbeam city i had a whole there's a whole episode about stunt shows and like and and the character rad is a stunt show villain and he says that i think i also tried to put in the line imbecilic little punoids also a good detail which he reprises on oprah because that's this thing that happens in the show also happens on oprah and oprah seems like she was only barely briefed about what was gonna happen she knows like shredder's gonna come

out at some point and she's trying to cue it so then somebody just says shredder and she's and like like oh god i hate that guy uh like it well, I think, well, he's going to come out at some point, right? And then wave of boos. And then Entreder is in the back of the audience at Oprah, calling him punoids, saying, every city you'll be in, I'll be there. When you're in Chicago, I'll be there. Miami, I'll be there as well. A matinee, perhaps, inio uh uh it is such a blast

also that all of this just front to back booing and how much fun yes to be in an audience where you are just you just get to boo and boo i don't think i've ever been part of a good booing i i don't i want to rail too much but in, senior year, we ran the student council with an iron fist and we got to decide what the theme of the homecoming was. And we decided that I forget why. I think it was like the theme of homecoming was city something. And we said the theme of the pep rally before or of the assembly was going to be Gotham city. And we staged my friend Luke playing the riddler and a couple and some of us as goons to steal the

homecoming crown from a child whoa and the audience you can see it because there's a video of it and i've watched it recently the audience is at first not quite on board then because of the fact that we were doing so much like movie making and backyard wrestling, we had some stunts in our pocket. So we did a little stunt show and then we got them way into it. So it was, we were thrilled.

It was a big success. And there was a big pep rally coming up in a couple of days. And we said, well, let's do it again. Only let's take it up a notch. So we got, we doubled the amount of goons the riddler had

we made big giant signs uh of the opposing football team that we draped into the gym like giant signs oh my god so in the middle of this uh teacher that would always rally the like oh come on saxons let's go first of all he blew his cue we told him don't mention the riddler just will interrupt you and all of a sudden he goes oh what's that is it the riddler and we were like god damn it the one thing he fucked that up but i i unfortunately even though i was one of the architects was only one of the goons but we were all hidden with like stuff under our clothes in the audience so riddler shows up in the top floor of the gym. We unfurl these giant banners that we had made. Now, this is what you're talking about with booze.

The most satisfying booze I've ever felt in my life. Yeah. This is a huge. Everyone's jacked up for the big homecoming weekend. Everyone is booing. Luke and two other of my friends dressed as goons are walking through. They hop the railing down the risers. They're throwing confetti like Jack Nicholson or something in the first Batman movie.

They're throwing confetti, and Luke is roasting people on his way down. And the boos were the greatest. We all had signs, too, promoting the other football team. So I'm walking around with this sign sign and people are booing me hey and then we humiliate our mascot in the front in the middle of the court and he takes the head off and it's batman and then we do a giant fight in the middle and batman beats us all up wow geez and it's like the greatest still probably the greatest moment of my life and uh this is theme parks this is wrestling is it yeah and what did uh luke go on to do television writer yeah yeah what do you mean no it's just funny you both ended up out here

city of dreams your storytelling yes the prowess proved so strong that it had to be uh carried out to los angeles uh i mean yeah that's the i mean this is like it's green goblin it's every like fantastic like i and i know it ties into wrestling too just like like yeah being a cartoony heel for children what a wonderful thing and i guess i could watch shredder strut back and forth and just improvise jokes so you know this actor's having the greatest time yeah i think they did i think the stat is there were 270 performances of this show oh my god i bet he ate it up every time i bet every like like you know what i get to do today i get to go be screamed at by children who i'm allowed to be mean back to yeah what a wonderful thing but it

culminates in my favorite by far my favorite music composition which ironically is i hate music all right uh do you just have the whole thing or do you i have clips too i can use your clips uh uh either way yeah yeah sure yeah if you go in the order they're presented yeah i just try to curate the best of right i hate music all right here we go music music music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music hate music that's that's just the beginning i love that it's rhythmic for a second

i think it's the worst i think it's the worst i think it's the worst uh i love that it's real i hate music but then just hey music you can tell there's some rhythm struggle with this man and okay so a couple things um i think that their assumption is how do we how do we express that shredder hates music but also do music i think they maybe have made the choice that rap is not music yeah it does have a bizarre it is a yeah an interesting uh perhaps comment by the people making this yes we're clearly like older studio musicians this is their way to like stick it to rap yeah yeah yeah let's prove it uh with example uh then the lyric uh i i i love this so much the gift the gift of song is a gift i curse that's that just is wonderful but then i think what you just played was i

i love it when the band is under rehearsed i guess because if he hates music then if a band is under rehearsed then that is like less music yeah i guess he likes seeing music failing yes he enjoys the failure of a band maybe fall on its face right if uh he went to a concert and the the bass and the keyboard were not plugged in properly he might like that because there is a failure of music right he probably he probably laughed with glee when the ashley simpson incident on snl occurred my favorite music ever probably ashley simpson um no yeah he loves any yeah he liked when prince's guitar wasn't plugged on on saturday night live yeah yeah he thought that was great he may be does he like sit and watch music in hopes of music fucking up or is it or maybe he doesn't maybe he waits for like

hey if you ever see like a problem with music then just forward it to me. Baxter Stockman sends me a YouTube link. Baxter at gmail.com. Baxter S at gmail.com. Send me, just for me, like any music fails. Like anytime they happen, music fails. I do tape trading

of music fail compilations. Like a hurricane caves the stage in. That's good. I mean, like A, because people are getting hurt, but B, mainly because music's going south

uh i so so fun um i mean and also the kind of dancing he's doing is just this like sort of like pirate hopping around and a lot of like legs legs wide out and then arm way up and there's a lot of like spitting like um and and uh there's a moment that i like where he april has his back to april's on a big rope he has his back to her and then he walks up and like like taps her on the shoulder tap tap tap and then says i think it's the worst and she's like jumps back ah um but the other i think the other clip i'm not sure how many i hate music you have three here three yeah play number three my favorite part but the other I think the other clip I'm not sure how many I hate music except for on here you have three here

there's three let's play number three my favorite part say the music is gonna be your soul I don't know it's not my goal I destroy music

every day you're listening to the words I say I control the world cause the music is gone I am the leader from now on do you hear what I'm saying

I hate music i don't think it's the worst i love the worst they say the music is good for your soul i don't know it's not my goal yeah i just and then i destroy music every day that kind of like slant rhythm music yeah this is not the correct way to know no but i love i feel like this guy maybe i think he himself was perhaps under rehearsed but he is diving into this with such gusto i think it's one of my favorite performance whoever this man is i looked up the name he's like a theater actor who's still around um but god bless you i it is so much fun if if i hit music was 35 minutes long i would actually go inverse i would have most of this show be shredder's thoughts on music and then like a little bit of turtles

just give them one number but let's just go artist by artist let's see him destroy every album um orchestras not a fan quartets no thanks man at least they're better there's less of them orchestras are the most music i hate music um i these are like white stripes like more like i wipes it with my butt put it in the deharmonic convergence controller it's the worst i think it's the worst what's the worst music it's a tie between all i hate music i so much fun oh and then at the end if you haven't gotten if you ever like picked up on his point he says get the picture i hate music yeah hit it that's right buddy he says that's right buddy yeah he's not talking to anyone specifically nah just anybody who might be in

earshot um it's i don't want to break down the logic of this too much but i do think it's interesting that for whatever shredder uh there's not any instance of him complaining about music in the comics or cartoon uh he somehow has an inverse opinion than the turtles do all of a sudden yeah so if they're into it then he hates that's what it is he's just being a contrarian. If they got into crocheting, it'd be, I hate crocheting. I hate whatever is popular. I'm not going to see Endgame. He's just, he's a hipster, really, is what he is.

Yeah, contrarian. I was the first to not like music. Because I think my thoughts at the time were that it was the worst. You tried to explain this to me a while back. And I'm like, what is that? And when I first started poking around, I'm like, there's no music track on the album. And then the live video, it's there. It's the centerpiece of the show.

I don't know what it is without it. It's the molten core. And yeah, I love it so much just that general i hate music he's he's a villain he's a murderer villain who controls an army and he hates music and yet how he chooses to express that is i hate music i don't like it he's so like cutesy sashay it seems like he's having a great time he he's very cute like if they they took his modulator off he is i think his voice is cute i think his performance is cute i think that he's actually jokes are cute there's kind of for everybody

he has those big weird painted on eyebrows in that close close-ups which are strange but like he's a male grace jones from the inside yes and he's laughing during like he's laughing during it too and he's like the least threatening man i've ever seen yeah and it's like it's very classic yeah which is great but at the time of course i thought he was a devil himself he's carrying act too because all the turtle stuff got so confusing to me they're like in the sewers they have like a a cloaking device but it only works so much and like he's explaining it to the reporter because it's a cloaking because then we can get back in and the music

won't affect us god they're so whiny explaining shit to rubric um also gotta call out does anybody want a new kids on the black album i hear they're breaking up topical references topical reference and people boo that no yeah we don't want that we want them to stay together they mean it they really mean it and then as soon as the song is over boo it could not be quicker on the draw april's full volume voice booing i just love a silly rap by a mean guy and then everybody boos yeah it is just simple pleasures and then as you reference jason there's all the logic of that maybe he will leave barry manilow because that i guess is so bad that it that you maybe don't consider it music. But then he has a change of heart, and as his power and hatred grows, he says, I will destroy the music, including Barry Manilow.

And then, very confusingly, he references songs, as he does with the Turtles earlier. He references Flo and Eddie, the band the Turtles. My deharmonic controller, we're happy together. A joke only for parents. And then do they like it? But he does the same thing with Manilow. And he says, Barry, you write the songs that make the whole world puke.

But before that, he says, have a nice weekend in New England. No idea. No idea what the fuck that is i asked my wife who likes barry manilow barry manilow enough to have a shirt of him she has no idea what barry what nice weekend in new england is about no idea did you google it uh no don't care that much did michelangelo make a joke about mandy too like the turtles talking to the reporter there's a joke about mandy that's not bad it's pretty good i don't remember it though because he came and he gave without taking or something i don't know but that's in that same zone where they're so petulant about not understanding

because it's a cloaking device and i don't know because mandy came and gave without taking like i get off my back and they're fighting with each other it always stressed me out when the turtles fight with each other yeah just raff is mean yeah why is he shut up um uh so then then this plot continues where he's you see the machinations of music disappearing and elevator music is gone and some and they interview in a pre-tip video a man who's like working to try to get the elevator music back and he references ray conniff's mr bojangles that's incredibly i only know from like the lounge section at amoeba what ray conniff is yeah yeah deep cuts in this show for having like hammy jokes well this guy is this bit this uh uh what bijan guy is a broadway he started on broadway oh so i think he's a lot of these are his references probably cheeky uh yeah

yeah and broadway humor is very um distinct it's very yes sometimes it's kind of theme parky where it's like broad and 8 to 80 and then sometimes it's so narrow it's literally of theme parky where it's like broad and eight to 80. And then sometimes it's so narrow. It's literally just for the people who work on Broadway. Bad on a stage. Yeah. So, so to tie into my next, and I might be jumping around a little bit,

but so there's this voice modulator on shredder. And then the next time the turtles perform, it is the song, no treaties. And if you could play clip number one that i put on there um i believe there was a mistake and maybe a little voice modulator was left on that's why i think sorry that's why i think the uh it was live yeah well we're watching a pay-per-view event so there's yeah there's a lot of like that very if you're filming a broadway thing where you

can hear like stomps and just like stray sound on the stage um but anyway i have music has occurred but i it really is all downhill from here to me because we get in all these like very like patience trying ballads well no treaties is a little upbeat yeah yeah that that spikes uh yeah it's okay and we're just like kind of getting ready to because how do you top yeah this is no treaties the full the album version and it's i i like this more than i remember liking it i like it better with the voice modulator this is kind of good. It's the one that's better alive. Yeah. This is also Raphael's song. I think the chorus is good, though.

I like that. I like it it I think that would have been a hit song of course sure no treaties I mean I don't know why it's in a Ninja Turtles show yeah it's an odd maybe this was like a cast off somebody had no treaties in the pocket yeah they were writing a real like Reagan

scorcher and then right no treaties like there's like sees bodies moving but he can't stop the beat no treaties after the war thinks he can stop it bring it all to an end but it's him that will break because we'll never bend the music is moving so get up and dance we're four rocking brothers and we're taking a stand together we're ready to fight and defend we'll do what we have to and we'll taking a stand together we're ready to fight and defend we'll do what we have to and we'll find a way to bring back the music and do it today wait where'd the rhyme go i don't know i screwed up probably i hope it stays dark forever

after the war take that shredder i love a band doing songs about like we're gonna get him that evil jerk is good like yeah i wish band if a band inexplicably had like a diss track of a mean man who they oh yeah i mean like a hip-hop it happens obviously sure true but i don't i don't know and john paul wrote angry songs about each other after the Beatles broke up. It's not dissimilar. So much in the Beatles tradition. This might be a good point to say, you brought up Raphael's singing voice.

I don't know who Raphael is. I don't know who most of the singers are, but I looked up all of them. A lot of them, not very interesting credits, except for one, the voice of Donatello. This is a man named Frank Sims. Frank Sims' credits are insane. He and his brother are the voices on the specific part of the song, living in a material world. Oh, wow.

And Let's Dance, China Girl, Modern Love, all of those Bowie songs. And he and his brother are backup singers on the entire Sirius Moonlight tour. And finally, perhaps most iconically, Frank Sims sang the part, Saturday TV fun house, TV fun house. That voice is Donatello in this show. Also longtime Bowie backup singer. We need to get him on the show and just talk about this show. Yes. I know Bowie.

We need to corner the market of getting very interesting people with amazing careers on and talking to them about the smallest sliver. Their lowest point. So were you okay? How'd you keep your head together? Six weeks of where I didn't have work. And so I took whatever this was. All right.

Let's get, let's get, we are running. Yeah, I know. I need to leave.ott and then there's there's stuff this this there'll be more turtles to come but also but let's get to cowabunga sure uh because i it's funny to me okay Listen to the tracks we're laying down The turtles are coming up from the ground We got a myth that we have found Gonna keep rapping, gonna keep talking My favorite part is how lazy this song is. Dead space in here. Let's get on with the show now.

Hey y'all, the end of the stage He is the leader that's playing the fame now He is the man my brothers trust with We're the man, we go for the buzz He's a turtle standing tall and proud Just a little bit of 90s wine Yo Donnie drop that beat! Just a little bit of 90s whining! It's like he forgot to keep singing. Dead Space? Oh my god What?

I had no one who was shouting that It just takes out There's just these big gaps and you feel like did he forget to keep singing did he forget to keep

we're supposed to put it in like cut up samples or something rolling down the street in my six four like that's

that's all they heard of that song yeah oh so every so all rap goes a little like starts from

high and then it goes down low uh it's michelangelo singing that um and then the last part

of it is i will i'll just do it uh what do you do when you can't think of a rhyme personally speaking it's ending time but that is a rhyme he should have said like what do you do when you can't think of a rhyme so yeah yeah but the song is very boring that song should be a lot more fun yeah this is the rap song where they introduce themselves intro themselves should be a lot more fun yeah this is the rap song where they introduce themselves intro themselves should be a lot more interesting musically interesting

and that it should be fun and it's very boring it's probably it's maybe my least favorite next to tubing uh well let me here put it on now while i start talking about it let me play my clip of follow your heart oh yeah song on the... Let's just try to not... As horrible as this will be, let's try to not talk and see how we do. Follow your heart. Follow your heart. Follow your heart.

He can try anything to tear us apart. But there's one thing that's still clear. That there's no way that he'll get inside of our hearts. Just remember that we're still here. The time has come to change it all. To wash away your fear We only have to stick together Because we're so near

What? Is it a mistake that there's no music? Like, did somebody forget to hit... Ashley Simpson style, did somebody forget to hit the button? Very possible. It's very possible. It's choreographeded they're dancing a little bit during that why would it only be a voice and then rocket sounds and it's not like oh my god what an amazing voice we should of course do this acapella or they're like all harmonizing with each other it just feels it does feel like he's like a little hesitant to like oh shit is it gonna come in or

yeah and making it up as he goes man there was like five seconds where it sounded like the isolated track from the lcd sound system song all my friends from the LCD sound system song, All My Friends. I wrote down. I spent less than years trying to get where I was going. Whoa. A little bit. I wrote down that it's sort of like Kraftwerk or Bowie's Heroes. Incredibly spare. Yes.

Avant-garde, experimental. Actually, that Rocket sound feels very 70s. If you think of it as minimalist art rock, that's one thing. Yeah. I think that's probably shredder's favorite song on the album because it has the least music in it uh that's okay that's a moderate amount i'd still rather know but uh hey no instruments you're getting somewhere i tweeted at bob bob bijan oh yesterday this is actually now the thing i teased earlier because there's

no good resolution but i asked because I found a thing that said that there were more songs written and then for maybe the second show, which I have those songs. There's a couple of new songs for the second version of this that was to happen. Oh my God. But I'm saying like,

we have to find the full Follow Your Heart because it's not on the actual album. No. So we will not know that until we hear what a studio version of Follow Your Heart was. And I'm going to ask if Bob will tweet back at me. I hope. How strange would it be for him as a major Microsoft figure to suddenly get the specific question?

So did the album cut of Follow Your Heart have instruments or was it acapella like the live version? Or was that a mistake? And were you influenced by Kraftwerk? All right. I will actually tweet that now at him as well. addendum to my original tweet oh boy um so okay there's so much i don't i'm not dying to wrap it up but i literally need to leave i mean hey i could leave and keep going all of the japan episode but uh you guys keep going but uh what else count on us is good is brings it home in a nice way. The April Ballad is, you know,

boring. It's pretty boring. I'll play a little bit of section of it right here. We can talk. Nothing I would do would make me scared. Nothing I would do would make me scared.

I never cared. Like another like I like this tune. I like Chimes. Oh no, Chimes. I hate music. I like wind chimes. Like if you spray

perfume in front of you or cologne and you walk through it you get the faintest scent. It's like that but with total eclipse of the heart.

Like the faintest in the distance. It's playing in the distance. It's kind of, and they kind of heard it, and they're like, oh, I'll write something sort of like that. And then the April Ballad is basically just leading into Count on Us. Pretty much, yeah. It's like she doesn't even get her own full thought.

They shortchange her. Also, if you're talking Bechdel test, the song is entirely about, maybe my friends will come and help me break me out of this rope and uh and then then in the ultimate insult to injury what's the name of this april ballad april ballad yeah right it didn't even doesn't get doesn't kick ass doesn't defend herself uh it does it like just talks about them and then doesn't get doesn't kick ass doesn't defend herself uh it doesn't like just talks about them and then doesn't get a name of the song it couldn't even be count on us part one and two

yeah kind of intro kind of like right coda or uh prelude um and then they take her voice away ariel style they just like and that too and then he takes her voice away so she can't sing anymore um and then and then they get rid of shredder and they like put him in a box and it like zaps and that's that and then one of them says wait we gotta fix april's voice and she says it was fixed i don't know why it was fail earlier okay great and then they all sing count on us which she doesn't have a part in right she's not allowed to sing the song she just sang a little of again with her friends yeah it's also like all the characters but the broadway people should know more than anybody and they all can you hear the people sing at the end no no just turtles still

and it's funny she always had to be the damsel in distress but the original april action figure came with a gun oh yeah camera and a gun sorry sorry i attacked you with count on us also a pretty good pretty good song yeah um see the world In the cynical eyes You gotta fight to be free You gotta fight for what is right

This is very Def Leppard Yeah I don't know But we need your help tonight If you had to rank, I think I'm going pizza power coming out of our shells. Count on us. In descending order. Walk straight, pizza power.

Coming out of, maybe no treaties, then coming out of our shells. No treaties? I don't know maybe not I have to think about that coming out of the shells count on us and tubing

wow tubing sinks in there I hate tubing I hate tubing I think it's the worst there is I don't have it so I have

because we're going to wrap up here there's going to be more because i will tell you this i found it it's too late i should have started researching months ago i found a blog that at one point hosted spanish version and the hebrew version of coming out of our shells tour and i corresponded with the person who runs the blog and they said oh are you are you the person who asked for me for this weeks ago to re-upload and I said I don't think so I just did this today and they're like well uh I can't do it right away but over the weekend I can do it so I wasn't going to be like well we're recording tomorrow and I said well that's a good good excuse to do a two

part there's other turtles in theme parks and stuff yeah maybe there's some catch all turtles thing and there was a there's a good like christmas turtles rap and when uh that is pretty youtube popular um yeah and there's a part two like there was so much to say there's a part two called what getting down in your town down in your town uh i do now if we could dotles episode, I do not think getting down in your town deserves an episode. No. It is much lazier. Very lazy.

They kind of did the math. Like, how do we do another tour? But less sets, less shredder, less, uh, no Baxter. No splinter. Casey Jones. But that doesn't have to be like a contracted, like musical performer. Yeah. It's just some guy we

found it'll be a different bum in every town let's put a mask on him nobody will know yes uh and there and that features a lazier tubing called pizza usa yes i have and then i they there's a there's three songs i only have two of them i have pizza usa and i have getting down in your town but supposedly there were more songs written for this which is what i've asked about so i'm hoping there might be a treasure trove of b-sides and things left on the cutting room floor because they were hoping because they toured this at six flags and they were hoping to then launch another giant tour the next year oh and did it not go no and then it was over oh so that's why i think they were gearing up to maybe do an expanded version of Getting Down in Your Town with other songs that have been written.

And who knows where those are? Okay. So we're going to have to... We're investigating. We're going to have to take an intermission. We'll do our Coming to Your Town. We're going to get down in your town. We're going to get down in your town soon enough.

Turtles 2, Secret of the Extra Songs this is getting down in your town I wanna listen is this on a 4 track? you can tell it's certainly in the same vein the voice of the other show. It's got a long intro. I should have cut it.

But they're still doing this sort of like jangly America pop. Yeah. The night we met, I knew I needed him so it's very it's very sticks very Tommy Shaw kind of sweet you know um all right well you know we're gonna get to a lot more that's not but i think now we have to act as if shredder's d harmonic convergence controller has shown up in your apartment and ceased the recording of the episode shredder has caused all

of the equipment to stop functioning he's declared i hate i hate podcasts about music they're the worst other topics they're okay but music i think that's the worst those are the episodes that i skip uh yeah so yeah right now shredder is here in the form of edwin farting on me edwin is farting on jason he's also shedding a ton right now too i'm sorry deodifier his deharmonious odifier is poisoning the atmosphere. We gotta get out of here now. We'll be back. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.

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