Podcast: The Ride - Waterworld: A Live Sea War Spectacular with Jordan Morris

Episode Date: July 6, 2018

Join the boys, The Mariner, Helen and guest Jordan Morris (Jordan, Jesse, Go!, Bubble) for a splashtastic discussion of the classic Universal Studios water-based stunt show! Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/ FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The future. The domestic film industry is in free fall. With no viable properties on which to base a new aquatic stunt show, Universal Studios must subsist on a Kevin Costner movie from 1995 that ate shit. A group of raiders known as Podcasters set out to snark about this show, even though it's honestly pretty cool. Fellow sea warrior Jordan Morris embarks to a stunt show known as Waterworld, a live sea war spectacular. Meet us at the Atoll on Podcast the Ride, a podcast about theme parks where we used to do fully written comedy segments. You guys remember that?

Yeah, I guess we haven't done one of those in a long time. No, it's been like months and months. They weren't always fully written. But I mean, really, what I should have said is we used to do segments at all, because that's been out the window for a very long time. Right, we haven't had actually a conversation. First of all, my name is Mike Carlson. Yeah, I'm Scott Geller.

We haven't had a full conversation about that, but I guess we may as well just do it on the show. That's what I think. Is it to bring the listeners in? Yeah, because I like doing all the written pieces, but then we would find that like, oh, there's too much in this episode. We think the audience doesn't want to, you know, sit through this whole thing. So that's what I'm going to blame it on. In reality, is it that we're all lazy and that we didn't want to write a minute of comedy?

And I'm Jason Sheridan, and I just want to say I fell in love with the sound of my own voice. Okay. That's my justification. You were saying the comedy bits, too. That's true, but sometimes reading them at the same time, and that took away a little bit of brain power from just listening to the dulcet tones of this bad boy. acting like you fell in love

with this on your own voice just a year ago. Please. How's that? I've known you for a decade. What's that? You've been self-satisfied for the whole time.

When you make a joke or you eat a treat, you've been always very happy with yourself and that's not a bad thing. I'm just saying it's not a new thing No, it's not a new development.

It has nothing to do with the elimination of segments yeah from the show what with our new format uh talking without uh confines for over two hours yeah well let's let's do let's make a pledge to do some written comedy again oh boy that's not why i brought it up well i was just pointing out something well that's I'm curious if anyone misses any of that. And you know why I thought of it? Is because when we had Nick Weiger on the parking garage episode, I just recalled that episode the other day and thought, and then we still did like a segment?

Remember at the end? Yes, we used to do extra segments at the end. Yeah, yeah. I think there are bits we wrote that we haven't gotten to. Yeah. I think there's a couple of written things that we were like, oh, we'll do it next time. We should just do an all segment episode.

Yes. All written. Boy. It'll take us a month to prep it. I mean, that would cut down on the research aspect, on the research hours. But I like to rewrite and rewrite. So I'm going to need time. So we better plan this now.

In 2019. The first fully scripted. In the fall of 2019, podcast to ride fully scripted in the fall of 2019 podcast arrived fully scripted comedy episode oh boy well we're here we'll let's get this less uh inside right now and uh bring in our our guest who knows not of our internal politics but who certainly knows the world of podcasts you know him from jordan jesse go and from the new comedy sci-fi podcast Bubble, it's Jordan Morris. Hi, guys. Hello.

And as you mentioned, I'm very familiar with this world. Uh-huh, yes. And I just want to say it was such a delight to be here for one of those classic podcast moments where the hosts talk about the logistics of the podcast at the top of the podcast. Can we talk about whose mic is sounding weird? Why one guy was late? We thankfully have not done too much of that.

I don't think we've ever had to talk about losing files. Knock on wood. Or a bit about the helicopter that passed over the house. Like it was, oh wow, that's coming for you, Jason. Arresting you for what you said about the Matterhorn lines.

Can we have a discussion about what we're all doing after this? I think we're getting, I mean, again, classic podcasting. We're in a living room, too. Yeah, we're in a living room. Yeah, that's true. We're playing into a stereotype. I think sometimes we've referred to the dog that will sometimes run around where we're recording.

But also, I think the dog has been very popular on Twitter when posted about. So I have no regrets about including Edwin. I think in general, maybe this is a policing role you can fill tonight that if you sense a trope being played into. No, I'm not bagging on a trope being played into no i'm not i'm i'm not bagging on the trope i enjoy it i you know i enjoy this this vibe right now it's very it's very old school it's very like i feel like i'm in cbgbs you know three courts like the bathrooms are filthy you know i love that this is why we do it guys yeah we're getting back to the roots of it yes

scott steered this ship in this direction and then immediately started roasting it yes yeah yeah uh i think i tend to do that i like things and then the shit on them from now on scott just these jokes should just be about us liking robots let's go back to the bread and butter of the jokes that we start with where we like a robot or there's a restaurant and we only eat there if there's a robot that's what all of our jokes should really be about who likes the robots we all we all like robots equally but there's many i think maybe some of the jokes that i would like to write or start the show with are about how much we like robots i said that our best friend from childhood was the chunky epcot robot smart one

i'm not familiar with this robot he is a delightful robot i'll show you a photo of him we gotta go robot by robot yeah well someone jade tweet at us uh uh has there been an animatronic of the month in a while which is a segment segment. One of the segments. Right. Seems worth bringing up. The thing that makes me laugh that I think is funny is that it is very rarely monthly. Yeah. Like holding up a big picture, a smart one. Yeah, he's great. He's a cutie.

It's the first time I'm seeing this bot, and he's a peach. Yeah. Do you have, Jordan, do you have, I don't know about your full history with theme parks, but do you have a love of robots and animatronics like we do? I'm sure this has come up on the show before, but I really, really miss the Paul Reubens robot in Star Tours. Well, this is Scott's favorite character in fiction, I believe. Accurate, yes.

Greater than Oedipus. Oedipus Finch. Yossarian. Sure. I don'tus Finch. Shit, Yossarian. Sure. I don't even know any of who you're talking about. Number one is RX24. I hope I didn't get the number wrong. I don't think I did.

Yeah, yeah. Really miss him. Got to see him in Paris, where he was still installed later than all of the other ones. But he spoke in French, and it was delightful. Oh, that's true. It made me so happy. And you saw his girlfriend. Yeah. And it's in Paris, so you also saw his mistress.

Yeah, you meet the whole of Rex's sexual liaisons. Different mores over there. But yeah, I'm glad you agree. He's number one animatronic for me. Would you guys have different answers about that well yeah it's like i mean i would probably pick a country bear i think i would have to like gomer or big al but if i would um maybe you have to well this is an unfair limit if you had to pick within people who are knowingly robots like smart one i guess that's

not a lot that's a different because it would be like smart one it would be rex it would be one of those robot butler from horizons yeah robot butler um who else who else knows they're a robot um man this is a great this is the beginnings of a great like blacklist script here where the robots from disneyland who know they're robots yeah teach the other robots who think they're other things that they are robots like they go to mr lincoln and convince him he's not lincoln he's rather a slave of this theme park lincoln as a slave what a twist yeah i know and then you know you have a west world situation it's a very it's not as confusing it's a very buzz lightyear style toy story one yeah oh yeah i was gonna say my fear about this plot is that they would get smart and leave disneyland which i it breaks my heart to even consider that notion so i think the robots would

have to teach the less knowing robots that it's their uh that's their goal in the world servitude i want that that lesson to get out there. If they pull the timekeeper right out of deep storage, he could just undo anything. Who's the timekeeper? The timekeeper was a robot voiced by Robin Williams that hosted a show in Florida where you would travel through time and meet great historical figures.

Yeah. Nine-Eye, also a. Yeah. Uh, nine. I also a great robot. Uh, the, it was the, that was the, it was a circle vision movie.

If you recall that format ever from a Disney experience where the movie goes all the way around to Mars. Um, that's not a circle vision. No, no, basically it's like a circle vision is like you stand in a big circle and that movie goes all the way 360 around you.

Okay. So there's a couple of different places in Epcot center where you can in a big circle and the movie goes all the way 360 around you. Okay. So there's a couple different places in Epcot Center where you can see a circle vision movie. One in Canada. One in China. China. France. No, France is not a circle vision. Oh, is it not?

No, it's just a movie. And confusingly, Mission to Mars is a circular theater where you watch a movie. That is not a circle not a circle okay very disimportant distinction no this is great fascinating nuances you will leave here knowing um okay but wait we asked you yeah you miss rex you missed our tour well i i'm curious about your your theme park uh journey or sure yeah leanings uh yeah so i grew up in orange county right in the shadow of the great one of course very far someone made that joke before on the show no no not with the misdirect no uh no thank you it's almost not even a joke in a way because we're very fond of not

oh really yeah and a lot of people probably would be like like listening to your misdirect and be like oh he said exactly what i thought he'd say because not very far because of course we all know that not the farm is the greatest theme part it's more the people monozuma's revenge of course people would argue probably oh it's more pure sure it's uh more less like corrupted by fried chicken too yes oh sure yeah yeah so no so yeah so uh so i had a couple of years in high school where i had a disneyland pass oh yeah and i think i was in a really kind of special venn diagram of high school student which was you know drama kid but also cool youth group kid so like when we wanted to really like cut loose we would go to Disneyland and goof off.

So we had that, you know, we would like find out like where the jungle cruise was going to go by. And then we would like jump on the fence and like make monkey noises and see if we could get the guard to like, not the guard, the guy who drives the boat. Yeah.

The skipper to like acknowledge us. So we were like just fucking like annoying assholes, you know? Oh boy. We thought we were like just fucking like annoying assholes. Oh, boy. We thought we were hilarious. This would stress the three of us out if we were in the boat and we saw like teens being rowdy. Teens teening around. We'd kind of get like tense and then like start sweating a little bit.

That's actually our age now, too. We're not saying when we were younger. We're saying if teens were being rowdy at the park. If teens were messing, forcing the skipper to go off script. Yeah, that would bother us. Messing, yeah, making so he couldn't tell which joke, which of

the nine jokes to use. Right, exactly. Backside of water. We're not there yet. But yeah, I totally loved Disneyland as a kid. I don't go a ton as an

adult. I actually find myself going to Universal Studios more. Okay. As an adult adult it's a little bit closer and i love to ride the movies sure who doesn't and uh so yeah um but yeah definitely we spent a lot of like fun time at disneyland as a kid sure sure like maybe my my

core years were like 1995 to 2000 and 2001 ish so yeah if that gives you guys a sense of what was going on in different land around never never kicked out never forcibly uh you know we got from we got we got we got put in the a little detention area really whoa because okay all right this is a first on the podcast talking to somebody who got put in Disney jail. So we got stopped. We were on the Haunted Mansion, and two to a cart, two to a dune buggy, excuse me. Of course. It could be three, though.

And we were doing a thing where you can kind of see the back of the other person's dune buggy when you're going around a curve. So, we were, like, hitting our friend's doom buggies. Sure. Which caused them to stop. You know, the thing plays, you know, the spirits are experiencing technical difficulties. Oh, yeah. And then, so, somebody came and, like, with a flashlight and, like, released all our things and took us in the back. And they made us somebody came and like with a flashlight and like released all our things

and took us in the back and they made us empty our pockets in the back. And the back was very clinical. I wish it was themed in some way. Sure. It was not. This is of the Haunted Mansion? Of the Haunted Mansion. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Do you remember anything? It was just like. Tell us everything. Just some room. Tell us everything about it. Yeah. No, I wish it was more interesting, but it was kind of just like a break room.

Like if you've ever worked at a department store or something, like the break room. It's just like there's a billboard up with like, you know, directions on how to do the Heimlich maneuver. Do you remember what room you were stopped in? Did you say, did I miss it? I think it was the Crystal Ball room. Madame Leota room. Madame Leota, of course. So you got to leave.

So in the theme part, if you're a nerd, one of the biggest things you get to do is have what they call a walk-off, which is where the ride generally would break down, and you get to walk off. So you get to actually experience a little bit more of the room than you would if you were just on the ride vehicle. You did more of a walk of shame off. Yes, yeah, yeah.

So you did do another dream of ours. Me and Madame Leota had had sex the night before. I was headed home in the same outfit I came in. Yeah, so, and the, something, you know, because we were such like, you know, random dipshits who love being random, we were all carrying bubble pipes at that point because that was our thing. We all all carrying bubble pipes at that point because that was our thing we all like

had bubble pipes uh god i know i god i want to go back in time and punch myself in the face uh so like they had us empty our pockets and we all had these bubble pipes and that was very we had to like explain to them that it was not for drugs because we were random because we love being so random right you also have like bulk bubble solution to fill up the pipes? I don't. I think at this point we had been doing it so long that we had

stopped being about the blowing bubbles and just putting it in your mouth and walking around. Kind of that smirk that happens when the pipe's in there. I'm a rich fancy man. No go shoes. I'm also random There was a comment on society Sure

I've still never had a beer Were you the kind of like Were you the kind of like Tough edgy teen Who would like You get in a little bit of trouble And it all falls apart Or could you stand up to a

security guard slightly older than you we all like we all like bent the knee so quick when this happened uh yeah and then i remember them like feel you know them like deeming that we were okay to go uh and i think something somebody had mentioned that we were all we all had passes we were all season pass holders and i remember on our way out the guy said hey season passes are a great way to enjoy the park and what yeah so that was our like he's not wrong those were our parting words it is it's a great way to enjoy the park what a lesson to impart on the way yeah they didn't threaten to take your past away. I wish it was a little more interesting. I wish there was like an animatronic, like, you know, British Bobby there who's wagging his finger at us.

There's like a fake out of a guy with a big axe who, and they like put you in the, like they lay you down as if he's going to cut your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be nice. I mean, honestly, I think, yeah, Disneyland can step up. And right, because I know that like Disneyland jail is kind of a fabled thing right there's even like a name for it which i've always heard has a big mickey making it like a tsk tsk finger oh i just um wow but i've never that's that's pretty like barely sourced but if anybody

if any listeners out there know and have been to disney jail stop listening to this podcast you're a jerk and you don't deserve the magic of the good boys i mean the the first piece of advice i got before going into disneyland jail is just immediately on your first day there you have to beat up stitch everyone will respect you which is a bold ask because stitch is a killing machine yeah it kind of glossed over after the first hour of the movie but stitch has a bunch of arms he's been trained for war yeah that's why he's the he's the he's the king of the prison you gotta go after the alpha certainly it makes just like elvis that's why he's dressed like elvis because elvis did his time he did his

duty in the services. And he was a karate. And a killing machine. And he knew, yeah, he was a karate enthusiast, a killing machine. He was an infoodiest later in life. Oh, yes, certainly. Because he got so fat. Became his primary duty, yes.

Okay, now when you, so fast forwarding past your uh no good nick days uh uh in more more more civil adult times recently at universal studios uh when i threw uh yes read the movies uh and then in some cases see a live spectacular based on the movies so when i gave you a list of topics you did mention universal studios and you chose water world a live sea war spectacular which i would like to be very i i want to lay down the law right now i'm going to make you all live under the rule that i had to live by when i worked there which is that full title had to be intact it is water world a live sea war spectacular live sea war spectacular yeah sea war no it's like it's a notion it's a reference to the notion of sea war that we're all so familiar with i'm on a sea war diet i see war and I eat it. You know, the word Navy is more popularized or calling things naval,

but the true term is Sea War. And if you have a friend or loved one in the Navy, you should say they are at Sea War. So I'll be policing that. Water World Alive Sea War Spectacular. All right, fair enough. This is probably in the history because it replaced the Miami Vice Action Spectacular,

which ran for six years. Uh-huh, uh-huh. There's got to be a lot of superlatives or it's not a solid theme park attraction. There was an A-Team show there before Miami Vice, which also had a very cumbersome title. That's name I'm escaping now. The A-Team show just seemed like a lot of Jeeps driving around.

A-Team colon, a land war spectacular. Here we are on land. Here we are on land. We're driving a lot of cars. Just a couple of humans on land. That guy clearly is dressed like Mr. T. The Miami Vice one seemed really intense though there's like twice as many guns i mean crockett and tubs are in the suits and they slowly get

less and less dressed as it goes on one of them definitely ends up in like a tank top by the end and there's like cars and boats and it's wild. So this is in the same facility. Like they built a water stunt show area. Yes. It used to have a lot more land in it. And then when they redid it for Waterworld, like I think they kept some of the set dressing and then expanded the water.

Maybe the stands were the same. I'm not totally sure. But yeah, some of the facility. But also they must have had to make it a lot more water and probably deeper because there are such gigantic dives that occur in the show. I'm not totally sure. But anyway, in narrowing down this topic, why Waterworld, Alive Sea War Spectacular? Well, I mean, when we're talking about Waterworld, Alive Sea War Spectacular. Sure, as one does. spectacular uh well i mean when we're talking about water world i've seen war spectacular i mean it is you know i think it's an interesting mix of like actually very cool like cool things

happen in it uh you know a a seaplane jumps a ramp and explodes there's you know there's stunt performers falling off ledges into vats of toxic waste. Yeah, all kinds of explosions. Fire dives. Yeah, yeah. A guy gets set on fire and dives off a high area. A guy hangs on to a thing for a long time, which takes up her body strength. That's impressive.

Oh, yeah. There's a long hang. I don't know what the proper stunt term is. So you're watching this thing, and it's actually very cool. There are talented people doing cool things. Yeah. But just every few seconds you're reminded, this is about Waterworld, that movie from 1995 or whatever, where Kevin Costner is the Gill Man.

Just like this long forgotten movie. I heard a statistic that I don't know if it's true, but I like, that more people have now seen that show than have seen the movie. Probably. That probably makes sense because this thing has been around for 20 years. 23 years. 23 years. Yeah, and you know, sure, five shows a day and however many.

Sometimes more, I think. I ended up on the employment site for if you wanted to be in this show. I found it on backstage.com. I think they could. They say you're kind of on the hook for maybe as many as nine, I think. Really? I guess one person. That seems cruel.

I think they maybe do nine. I don't think one person. Maybe you could only fit in five as an employee. I'll confirm that fact. There's a lot of shows, and it's been going for a lot of years and one of the oddest things about this attraction uh okay so the stunt show was done in conjunction with the release of the film and the sure to be blockbuster success of water world turned around real quickly for sure yeah yeah well apparently the uh people from the team

and the people who would build the sets for the show went to hawaii where they were filming water world and it was much like the jurassic park ride very much done in coordination with the making of the film uh so you can understand why it stuck around and why it just became awkward like oh it's this notorious bomb because the trades were all against it and reviewers didn't like it and now they're stuck with the with this live show yeah that's like the only reason anyone talks about water world anymore is to like it's just shorthand for a bomb you know yeah yeah of water world and the postman like kind of like oh that was the weird like costner yeah costner is like leading man sure there for a while after like all the

hits he had like before that i feel like yeah yeah um and i also you know i was under the uh the misconception that this what that water world was a i think until today i thought it was written directed and starring costner but but directed by somebody else script existed without him i think he was like i think if you got him at that point you got a lot of him you got a lot of yeah he's very he's an auteur kind of actor yes yeah yeah i was under that impression too but the postman i was confusing those um anyway just to to get to my to my roundabout point you can understand why this one stuck around like well we spent the money we got to do it also people really like the show sure but then universal studios japan opens and they build it again yeah universal singapore

opens in 2010 and they build water world again yeah and the company that ran the the two asian productions eventually took over the hollywood one like it went backwards it's kind of 2014 they redid the show when the production company changed it's called action horizons and it's a company founded by actual stunt people um and they took over production in 2014 so that's when you saw like 19 years after it opened you saw some like slight changes to the show like just some slight like stunt blocking changes and like the seaplane comes a little later in the show and like there's one other like set piece that's like slightly different they didn't change that when the deacon holds up a golf ball that he says i'm tiger woods and there's no further joke there yeah even though they don't refer to the affair they don't update

the golf it's the only like topical reference in the whole thing, at least in. Yeah. Unless there's different versions and people ad lib or whatever. But I, in the video that I watched and as far as I know, it's not a topical. When it opened, it wasn't like I'm Jack Nicklaus in 1996. Oh, I guess. What's around in 96. He was just starting to break on the scene. I'm probably not enough to reference yeah yeah uh i'm seve balesteros that's a spanish golfer i know about because of my dad he just said

originally he says look at me i'm playing golf uh i'm a famous man when the tiger woods broke out we should you know wow we can get it more specific yeah it was kind of weird that he said look at me i'm playing golf maybe we can you know it's the devil's in the details kind of felt like nothing well i'm glad we can spice it up gotta say still hits there's like three things anytime i see this show there's like three things that always gets a big pop from the crowd the tiger woods thing the thing about like this floating piece of sheet metal that always gets a laugh uh which is wild and then the seaplane thing always yeah gets that and it's amazing it's genuinely amazing it's amazing the fire dive to the like however many feet in the air fire dive which they i think we

talked about many many moons ago they replicated for the eighth voyage of Sindbad stunt show in Islands of Adventure in Florida. Sindbad. Sindbad with an infuriating D. The trick was taken from Waterworld, a live sea war spectacular. Nothing better than correcting minutiae like this. Also, to correct my own minutiae, if you're a performer in the show, you are expected to perform two to five shows a day. But they say that there could be to perform two to five shows a day but they say that there could be anywhere from two to eleven performances eleven that's crazy there's like

a marathon day or something like an all day they're trying to do with no park open yeah i don't know that seems dangerous if i can correct some uh minutiae. Impressions de France. It showed across five screens in 200 degrees. So you were right. Not official circle vision, but often mistaken for it. You know what? I, though, that's a good correction because I thought it was just a regular movie. I didn't know it was a super wide movie. So we met in the middle.

I like the middle. The creators of the French New Wave demand more further how do we even i love it something i love about it is that that there's like a story to it and it references the like fiction of that movie so heavily like so people are like it's the mariner and like and in a way that yeah it expects people to feel something about that it's like and like just 16 year old dirtbags who are at universal studios now like don't like what do they care that it's the mariner they know the mariner from this show right yeah exactly yeah and they're like it's the smokers which was like the name for the bad guys because they you know yeah smoked the water

world had an anti-smoking message i remember uh they just are the smokers for that yeah that's the name of the like you know the evil dennis hopper crew of pirates they're the smokers oh and the whole thing i mean obviously there's you know it's just it's global warming and pollution and stuff but i was reading how it was really heavily stemming from the exxon valdez uh that's where that um which is so that's another odd thing that's another thing that makes the movie strange now is that it's like a it's a movie kind of railing for a current event yeah yeah yeah very long time i think there's a chance that like another water world comes out based on the show right because they're keeping it they didn't like change the name of it at all like they could have changed the name of it and no one would have

cared no one would care that the smokers isn't referenced that they changed the name of the bad guys or that they changed the characters they've kept the characters exactly the same they want that sweet ip they know because they're looking for dry land we all have to find dry land like i like when they all yell dry land yeah i that works on me uh to people who seeing this who don't know waterworld is this all just nonsense or do they even care i don't know they don't care set it up pretty well i think this is one of my theories about theme parks is sometimes like just okay movies are pretty like dumb movies make for good rides because you have to condense it down to like in this case 16 minutes 20 minutes uh or like the transformers ride is really fun i also

like that uh but like those movies are just i mean they're it's great for like a five minute experience sure um just like this like condensed down it's like oh it's yeah it's a post-apocalyptic action thing there's lots of water stunts there might be more water stunts in this show than in the movie itself i remember watching it on cable a long time ago when i was like young this in the postman saturday afternoon cable tv with commercial breaks. Perfectly enjoyable experiences. I mean, you don't get to see Gene Triplehorn's butt from behind, but probably not. Which is one of my memories about Waterworld. Mr. Skin classic.

Seeing it at, oh yeah, definitely a place you're going to go to Mr. Skin to see all the good parts from. And Postman and Waterworld back- back With commercials That's a full Saturday Oh I wasn't even thinking back to back It sounded like you were saying Pizza for Pizza Hut Oh man I'd like to do that today That's actually so kind of fun

Except for the once When you got 11 minutes into Waterworld You'd go what have I done I thought about watching it for in preparation for this but you know it just kind of got away from me but yeah i wonder if i like come in here mad at you guys because i had watched a water world oh yeah yeah you made me yeah i didn't get a chance to do it either didn't get a chance you know i tried real hard but i i did watch uh clips from that, that YouTube account that has clips

numbered one through 10 and then like too loud of chimes come in at the end. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. And then they also encourage you to watch a clip from The Frighteners. Yeah. So moderately. Now that you've watched two minutes of Waterworld. Do you like actors?

Do you want to see another movie with actors? Is that like the account? It's like blu-ray account or something like it's some weird generic thing that puts all these movie clips up i think it's just called movie clips is that what it's called the vivo of movies but it annoys me because when that when it ends oh i think this oh you know what people were mad i i looked at one of the top Waterworld viewed videos on YouTube, and one of them was a scene that must have been heading for Jean Triplehorn nudity because it cuts and those famous chimes come in, right, as she's disrobing and the comments are furious.

Oh, yeah, sure. But listen, that was an important scene to a lot of people so the message the exxon valdez message didn't get through but uh gene triplorne did um it's what what else did i see in the clips because uh there's some weird business going on with uh dennis hopper gets it i think he gets his eye ripped out and then he gets a new eye installed and he's surrounded by sycophants and they're all like it looks it looks good boss yeah a little bit better than the last one and then just one like uh smart alecky teen a young jordan-esque teen is like it looks like shit uh and he's the one who's willing to stand wow and then he pops

it out but that's all referenced in the show because the show is a sequel to the movie. Yeah. It's like it extends. And there's some line about, you're the one who poked out my eye. So it does. There is continuity between the film and the show. Because Deacon is the character from the movie. But Kevin Costner's character is not in the show.

What? Yes, he is. He's the Mariner. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah. but kevin costner's character is not in the show what yes he is he's the mariner oh my god really i don't i i don't blame you because one of my big thoughts watching the video is that they don't they don't really hit the mariner hard enough like i've i like if you ask me what are the qualities of the mariner right i would have zero answer i'm not sure i could even after the show point out which one was the mariner i don't know i i watched the whole thing literally an hour ago i watched it on youtube i didn't watch it on the tv i did not pick up that that

was supposed to be yeah that's kevin costner's thing the only thing to me so my big memory uh from watching it is the like closing shot when they do make it to dry land um but also there the mariner can breathe underwater right and uh there is one sequence where like he there's like a very crude submersible thing where he like you'll be able to breathe in here helen and like the he they go down to the depths and he pulls it along because he can be his gills. He can breathe underwater. And he's like, this is what the world used to be. And they go deep, deep underwater. And it's clearly New York City, the ruins of New York City.

Oh, I forget that part. Like some movies show the ruins of Atlantis. I think the only allusion to it in the show is when he jet skis his way underwater. Like he jet skis under the wall and comes out of the water, which apparently the mariner can ride a jet ski underwater. He can breathe and ride jet skis underwater.

And also not use a gun or like a knight. Like all the good guys are using water cannons and their wits in this show and all the bad guys have like colt 45s and shotguns um uh-huh so he's he relies on his cunning alone i you know for i that's another thing when i found this casting site how i was i had no impression of the mariner so i can completely relate to where you're coming from, Mike.

But then to juxtapose that with when you look at the casting site, how they describe the Mariner, heroic, capable, and deliberate, highly athletic, and moves with the confidence of a man who doesn't know defeat. Has learned to drink own piss. Oh, that's a big, yeah, that's a big part of the audition. Can you take that a pint of your own piss does it happen in the show it might someday do it drink your piss buddy you have to have a secret as an actor you have to have a secret for a roll of my own piss yeah

i don't i just i mean that it goes on and on honestly but that it's he's sure built up for somebody who doesn't like rate yeah at all um now when you were watching it and you didn't know i thought it was just a hero i must i missed the name because i just thought it was like oh this is a hero guy yeah they're focusing more on the girl they're focusing focusing more on the deacon i was like well i'm not entirely sure that the mariner is mentioned in the opening narration. I think he might not be referenced at all. Now, they reference him during the show, the mariner's coming. But I'm not, correct me if I'm wrong, but what they do, this is what, jamming that information in and telling teens quickly what this decades-old movie was,

I find it really weird that they devote audio real estate to tell you that the survivors live on floating fortresses known as Attles. Right, that doesn't come up again. And then they keep saying Attles. I think they name-check everyone in the opening. I think they name-check Helen, the deacon, and the mariner. Is there a mariner? Very quickly. check helen the deacon and the mariner is there a mirror very quickly also the deacon is very uh very often telling you that he has a seaplane they say seaplane so much in this yeah yeah yeah

and uh i think i know who played uh who piloted that seaplane in the movie because he's credited as pilot a young jack black oh yeah he's credited as pilot in water young Jack Black. Oh, yeah. He was credited as pilot in Waterworld. So that famous plane, is it like kind of the same model of plane? I think so. Yeah, because there is like a plane crash in the movie, I think. It looks like the tailspin plane. Yeah. That's a traditional sea plane.

Sure, yeah. Everyone knows. A real tail spinner. I read an oral history of the making of Waterworld today. The stunt show or the movie? The movie. And they interview Gene Triplehorn and Tina Majorino, the young girl in it, and the director.

And they also interviewed Jack Black. And it's funny because they all talk about like how difficult it was and and uh you know how trying but i think jack black was just there real quick and probably it's four minutes of his day to fill out an email about water world so whereas the other answers are like do you do people ask you about the movie 20 years later um yeah well you know it's weird because the movie has this tortured history jack black's answer we crushed it bro i'm still trying to shake it that's what it's gonna say on my tombstone jack post-apocalyptic seaplane pilot black i like imagining him flippantly writing this email about his people involved with water world my career has turned out the best he really won water world didn't he i mean 1995 jack black like as an actor i'd go like are you kidding me like

you don't come on man just say it was a get that would have been a get for you this is pre-mister show pre-tenacious t that's not what jack black is about ten I guess. Tonight's Just Me might have been on HBO at this point, right? Is that right? Maybe not. 1995? Maybe not. Cable Guy. He's in Cable Guy in 96. Oh, yeah. Another Mars Attacks, too.

Those all pop a lot when he shows. I think it was him, right, that I just saw on the Golden Girls spinoff, The Golden Palace. Oh, yeah. He comes in for a second uh uh but the i i don't think he did i think he truly does appreciate getting to be part of this film because then later in the interview the the script was badass it was like a wet road warrior and it was shooting in hawaii i think he's absolutely you wanted to be more humble about it in the oral history no i i

think it's okay to go like yeah it was cool when i was it was 1995 and i got to go work in hawaii in a plus five uh lines role you know it doesn't sound like you're really breaking this thing down his voice i guess i don't know i'm just saying i would be jazzed i would be jazzed to be in a bomb. He said I crushed it. I was charmed by how much he, Scott loved it and Jason just pulled off by his cockiness. I don't know. He did say we crushed it, but then he said

it'll haunt me to the grave. No, he said he'll put it in a... He's exaggerating. Oh, okay. I think... I think Shallow Hal is going to haunt him to the grave. podcast we're doing we did our podcast inside info we talked about plus fives and i'm reading from backstage.com uh this is some real in a post barry world people know all this stuff now okay very exclusively as popular as uh um well uh so so jack plectra of the plane that plane um is yeah an actually

genuinely remarkable part of that show and i think uh it was probably difficult for them to pitch and to pull off because that is a that is a big prop with pyrotechnics on it that shoot off once they land and it has to do it many times a day and it is flying right at the audience with no cable with nothing that could pull it back in case of an emergency but it's been decades of this and nothing has happened.

It sounds like a universal set up. Water world related death. No, I don't believe so. They've kept it secret. It does seem like one time it would have caught wind and flown out onto the 101 or something. Southern California, Santa Ana, start blowing. Right into the hills, into Studio City hills. Crash right into Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.

Oh, God, no. I mean, that would be a nightmare. We're describing a scenario where a CityWalk restaurant has a vehicle that crash lands on the outside of it on the side. That would just make CityWalk better. Yeah. There's already plenty of vehicles bursting out. I think, you know, of all the deaths, I think that's the one I want. I am in Margaritaville and the plane from Waterworld flies over the ramp and crashes

to the dead. from water world seaplane flies over the over the ramp and uh yeah and it would uh would it soften the blow to your parents if uh they if they just describe while he died in a plane crash oh god but if they said he was in jimmy buffett's margaritaville on the plane from water world a live sea war spectacular he was uh he was getting drunk at four on a thursday what song was playing back where i come from paradise actually i was gonna say fruit cakes by jimmy buffett no fruit cakes well that's i'm not a i'm not a huge buff well it's about a 12 minute song where he really tells you all about what life is like yeah like what life is about he's got a lot of lessons sample lyric from fruit cakes oh fruit cakes uh there's a part where he uh let's see he's he says he has all these ideas about

religion yeah here's the church here's the steeple religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people there's also the music video of what she was shot Universal Studios Florida. Yes. And you could see the sun in the background. And it is very clearly incredibly early in the morning. Like, well before the park opened. Yeah, they had. So that they could have the run of the place. They had two hours. Yeah.

I got to wake up early for the video? Well, I'll do it anyway. What aspects of this do we need to uh hit there's the the plane is amazing the fire dive is amazing and they make a point of shouting out that guy at the end of the show specifically right rightfully so we watched a lot of these stunt show we did an episode early on about stunt shows and we watched a lot of videos of stunt shows and the video of water world that i watched today by far had the most legit like oh like noise where people are blown that was not really the accurate noise that was more like a woman in the 1920s being offended by something or seeing a mouse and jumping on a chair lifting up her petticoats yeah people are always into it

i mean this is one i mean it won like a Theo Award, the themed entertainment association in 1996. Also winning awards in 1996. Mike, the Rainforest Cafe in Schaumburg, Illinois won a Theo Award. Oh, my God. Really? Wow. That was also at that mall? For most themes.

Yeah, we've talked about that. There was a Rainforest Cafe in Woodfield. Boy, God. And yeah, let's see. Oh, Indiana Jones at Disneyland and Waterworld won awards the same year. Wow, interesting. There's a question. Better, because I think clearly Waterworld, a live Sea Wars spectacular,

has a chance at being the finest theme park stunt show, but I think probably the the biggest competitor and put another one on this list if you want but it would have to be the indiana jones stunt spectacular right in florida um if you had to if you guys were great and they're giving the out the ultimate thea award if we were giving out our own thea award first you call what a dream. Did you call it a Theo Award or a Thea? Thea.

Okay. Sorry, it's Thea, right? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. I was taking your cue. Jordan, you would know. Thea?

Thea? Theo? Oh, let's call the whole thing off. I think that you would have to probably give it to Waterworld to see more spectacular. The plane, I think, tips it over the edge. Yeah. The plane is so crazy. Watch if sometimes it doesn't run sometimes there's just an extra explosion i have seen water world without the plane effect like there are sometimes and it's sort of like like

guardians of the galaxy there's a rocket animatronic uh but they can also do that if something's wrong with that animatronic in one of the rooms there's a video they can play in lieu of it so all right i'm on video now sorry i'm not there in person kids something was weird with my hand started bleeding hydraulic fluid out my eyes if you're watching this video rocket is dead i filmed this to prepare for my own death i bequeath my fortune to my aunt my uncle lean out that window at universal studios and yell at taurus they're humans yeah not like me huh grute's not getting any of uh no no he's a family first i mean you know the guardians are a family now of sure they're a family unit yeah yeah a couple more movies and

he'll put them in the in the will okay more adventures um i saw the show once with the seaplane missing and then the deacon just has to shout oh no my plane crashed man it looks so cool oh geez oh boy what a what what an exciting fiery array back there behind the atoll good thing no one else can see right now we're up up high on top of the floating atoll uh something i started talking like rocket again i was gonna, it's a singing voice now in Waterworld. Oh, damn, my seaplane. My little paws are screaming to the heavens with anger. Something that I think is probably a reason why it's so popular is because, you know, before you go into Waterworld, a SeaWorld spectacular, you see all the headshots of the actors.

And it says what they're from and it gives all their credits so you know i think if you're a vacationing you know tourist and you want to see some stars you know and usually i think i think while we were watching the video you uh someone made the correct joke that everyone has been on csi everyone's credit is csi something csi something csi ghost whisperer i mean these are real like union stunt performance i've heard this is like a good gig to get like in between like movie job like it's like oh it's solid work and like you get to do your craft 12 or 13 times a day uh-huh i will let me shout out greg dolph who's a performer i worked with on a bunch of Conan sketches and who I didn't know till I

went to I guess I'd heard that he was in Waterworld but I was watching the show one morning and uh and and I'm like wait a minute I think I know the deacon and then at the end he said and from Conan I'm Greg Dolph like oh my god and they they kind of, it was clear. They might've even said like, stick around. You can meet some of the cast. And I did. And he like, he'd be like, gave us some, I don't think he took, he couldn't take us backstage, but he like gave us, you know, a lot of inside info about the show.

And he like, he clearly loving it. They're since 1995. Wow. And I think other deacons have stuck around, but he said super flexible. I can call it something like Conan, where it's a bit like, we need you in a couple hours. He can, they can get other deacons to back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The understudy deacons. There's always deacons in some kind of deacon waiting room. Wow. So, yeah, they treat their people right. They let them go get those outside credits. And Greg Dolph, a good dude. Great to sketch on.

The only other show, you know. Yeah. The only other, this isn't a stunt show, but the only other theme park live show that I would say put in contention for this is, of course, Disney's Aladdin at the California Adventure. And I had seen, you know, right before it closed, I saw Q&A with the cast. Oh, you did? Yeah.

Yeah. I had to sign up for it and i did it early enough and i signed up and the jasmine in that within that show ran for forever and it was the same jasmine too so i bet maybe it's a similar i always was like oh this seems like it would be terrible for an actor because you have to work so much but yeah maybe that's a flexible uh maybe there's so many understudies for all these parts and also to have an acting gig that extends for so long and the

he's Greg to indicate that like he can try new things he can improvise he can slide in jokes he seemed to be like very positive reports I gotta give credit to the people who play like all the characters like all the performers as stunt

performers are amazing like it's incredible to see this live it's incredible to think about them doing this multiple times a day a week a month um the the guys who play the deacon like they a lot of that show is resting on their shoulders i feel like they are steering the ship in a lot of that and i think literally at the beginning and i think he i think the deacon the deacon is why people like this because even i think if you're a if you're purely earnest if you're a 10 year old with no cynicism and levels or if you're or if you've got some snark like no matter what you you you have a way in on the deacon and because like the theme park villain is just so fun the guy the guy really hamming it up and uh you know like puffing out that chest and yes sometimes making topical jokes

and uh uh it's just like i i find the level to be confusing sometimes you're sometimes you're kind of laughing at a show like this and then you realize well i am like enjoying it earnestly too in the way that they intended uh well yeah like gene like there's always this character has to exist in every stunt show or live show at a theme park it's the genie in that cal in the disney in the aladdin he's the funny guy that all the show he's his quips the show doesn't start until the genie shows up and then also sometimes on broadway spider-man turn off the dark screen goblin that's a very similar character he makes topical jokes he's a heel he's a heel but he's yeah he's uh he's like an nwo heel he's likable people would buy a shirt of his he's not a true heel where the

audience fully hates him they're enjoying his uh his fun 60s batman style uh villainry the um other thing that i found interesting reading about the show so the deacon and helen have mics they have headset mics they're saying their lines some of the other lines are just like ah like people just yelling them real loud or they're like car like what i think used to be called carts like a radio thing where you would plug in you would play a sound which eventually replaced by sound boards but it's like programs like the when someone gets hit by the gut there's a sound effect they can program or if there's like oh there's a line just yelled here, and we can hit a button to do that.

And then I think at some point with that sort of refresh in 2014, there is an Atoller who introduces himself as Sage, who was also given a mic, and he gets to help drive the action a little of like, oh, shoot the cannon over there. Like, run, get out of there. Sure. You know, like.

Oh. Avoid the atoll. Yeah. Don't let the atoll blow up at any cost. Remember, the Mariner has gills, so he'll be underwater sometimes because of the gills. You in the back are too far away to see. If we peeled his ears back, you'd see a gill there.

The world building on this is successful, even if the worldwide gross was not. the back are too far away to see if we peeled his ears back you'd see a gill there the world building on this is successful even if the worldwide gross was not did very well internationally yeah he's just sticking up for the movie they have water everywhere you know um i think i i also didn't realize like some of the eight whole some of the people at the beginning like have to do stuff later in the show like after they fall in a thing they might be the guy who does the water they get changed get in the

stuff and do the firefall so like that's probably also why they aren't live mic'd because they're constantly falling in deep water and changing clothes quickly. Yeah, um, this is a weird thing I noticed and I just realized this.

So, the characters in this, I'm looking at the movie IMDb, it's like Mariner, Drifter, Gatesman, Forcer, Elder, and then Helen. And it's like Helen's sort of a name. Right, it's like in Game of Thrones how there's just a guy named John. Yeah, exactly right. It's like kind of weird, why wouldn't she have a fun of a name. Right. It's like in Game of Thrones how there's just a guy named John. Yeah, exactly right.

It's like kind of weird. Why wouldn't she have a fun, cool old name or whatever? The thing I'm now thinking also is that in the Chuck E. Cheese universe, it's Chuck E. Cheese, Jasper T. Giles, Munch, Pasquale, and Helen. The bird. Helen is the bird. And Helen has the least fun name of all the characters. Is this a sexism thing, maybe?

And I'm only being half serious. I mean, this seems like a classic Hollywood thing, where, like, you know, it certainly comes up in comedy a lot. Like, I had lots of teachers coming up, making sure to go, like, and make sure to write jokes for the women in the scene like they do not just make women in your sketches or your scripts wife mom girlfriend helen helen is kind of like so like helen is a real plain name it's not as fun as the other names

and both water world and chucky cheese have the same helen problem but uh very dynamic helens the kids in the hall running bit 30 helens agree sure that is a difference should we change the name of the bechdel test to the helen problem that's what i'm thinking that's what i'm thinking all the men have fun names except for the one woman the helen problem might just be the four guys to hash this out i think we all agree be the... And I think we're just the four guys to hash this out. I think we can all agree. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. Listen, ladies, we're changing the name

of the Bechdel test, okay? Deal with it. Listen, we all love Alison Bechdel's classic graphic novel final, but we have something about Chuck E. Cheese. The Helen test could be

just applied to themed entertainment. Chuck E. Cheese, the Waterworld Sun Show. So where Bechdel test is, sure. Yeah, I mean. Well, let's look up other, I mean, if it's not an IP. But also, then from there, the character Helen in Waterworld is not helpless. That's true, yes.

She is mainly referring to the mariner and when he is coming, but she's still kind of, she's an ass-kicking heroine. But you're referring primarily, 90% of this issue is name creativity. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. And also, I'm not trying to discount

what Helen brings to Munch's Make-Believe Band. Oh no, she's a force. What does she play? She just kind of stands there and sings oh she's like backup singer there's well okay here so if you go through old helen from the original has a guitar but then you're showing a picture where she's like joni mitchell yes she's like she's a folky but then like later helen is kind of just standing on stage and sings, because she's a songbird. In like a four-year-old girl from the 80s' aerobics jumper.

So yeah, Helen is a big part of the band, but name-wise, she should just have a more fun name, is all I'm saying. Let's apply the Helen test to some other stuff. The Country Bear Jamboree. What's her name? Well, Trixie.sy tricksy's a fun name okay passes and the and the three uh what's the uh what's the three girls named little girls better look that up people gotta be mad they're gonna be mad i'll say this i think it's uh you know just just as an old time sailor, their life, their love, and their

lady was the sea. Helen's heart belongs to dry land. So I think it's kind of progressive, or at least progressive for a dystopian hellscape where water covers everything. And she just wants to be a regular woman on dry land again. She doesn't want to have this. She doesn't adopt this mad max crazy warrior name well i feel like it's kind of the the end of water world it's kind of

like the end of wally where they get back and uh it's like well what will we do with the future now i guess in the credits you get the cave painting kind of slides um the end of the postman uh they kind of half rebuild society like there's a press conference at the end where they dedicate a statue to the postman and someone has like a television camera on a tripod like a 90s television camera on the tripod and it's kind of a little dinged up or like kind of pieced together and then everyone has either weird lapels or weird ties that's how you make a sci-fi movie sure to know this is not our time the ties are weird or the lapels are weird blade runner uh uh looper back to the future two double ties double ties or just a guy is wearing 3D glasses for some reason. Oh, yeah.

Well, that's how you know he's a goon. Yeah, right. He's a lackey to the bully. He's a lackey. The sun bonnet trio. I'm embarrassed that I didn't know. I couldn't remember that. The sun bonnet trio.

Bunny, Bubbles, and Beulah. And, of course, the swinging teddy bear who comes down from the ceiling. Sure. They all have great names, all fun characters. You pass. So that passes the helen test yeah um leota passes cool name madam leota in the haunted mansion birds in the tiki room are there any helens there uh oh yeah i don't think this passes the helen test because there's

only four main birds are men in the tiki room and then they bring up all the background singers but none of them have Jason smiling but they're all like they're just like sort of a big chorus of singers. Right sure. Let's all sing like the birdies sing. Bird one bird two. Let's all sing like the nightingale tweet tweet tweet but no one has a distinct yes Jason what are you

about to say here? I think a new attraction I don't want to tip this too much but I feel like the Incredicoaster doesn't pass. The Helen test? Because all the women are just like we got to get Jack Jack. We got to help

Jack Jack. But it's her baby. But it is just women talking about men, right? That's the test. The test is about interesting names. It's about names only, Jason. Oh, it's a names only?

And her name is Elastigirl? Elastigirl, that's fine. Wait, wait. What is her first name? Maybe her first name is Helen. Is it? Oh, God, if it is. Listeners might know already. No, the people are freaking out. Her voice's name is holly

holly hunter uh um okay let's see here mrs or elastigirl her first name is helen parr oh my god this you were right to bring this to the wild oh my god this is the craziest moment in our podcast history well well well can I say something about the Incredicoaster I have not ridden the Incredicoaster I do know

that they changed the whole you know carnival zone to Pixar Pier that's correct yes was there not a huge opportunity you know, a carnival zone to Pixar pier. Yes, that's correct. Yes. Was there not a huge opportunity to make that the inside out emotional rollercoaster? Well, how do you bring this up?

Because it there's, it's, they're bringing, they're taking a bug's life, uh, land ride. I forget which, what's the,

it's the balloon ride. And they're just re-skinning it and moving it over and they're making an Inside Out emotional something. I don't know what the name of it is yet. It's emotional. But Roller Coaster is a better title. I don't know. It just seemed like it's sitting right there. Yeah. I don't know. It is sitting right there.

The Inside Out Emotional Whirlwind. Oh, there it is. Pretty good. But Roller Coaster is... That's fine, but that's a reach. Okay. right there the inside out emotional whirlwind oh there it is pretty good pretty good roller coaster is fine but yeah that's a reach you know okay is the girl is the daughter's name violet yeah violet yes yes does the name violet pass i think violets yeah that's a good fun it's cool helen does not pass the helen test wow helen that was really something we walked into and I guess maybe now well I don't I didn't catch any names in this thing so I don't I'm not sure how we can grade it on the Helen test but there's a there are a lot of females in the alternate version of Waterworld Alive Sea War

Spectacular that I was honestly not aware of until Jordan brought it to my attention. And please do the honors of the name. Sure, so I am a big fan of Universal's Halloween Horror Nights experience. This is a, you know, after the park closes down around Halloween, there are all these kind of themed mazes. Something I really like about Universal is that they get the rights to all the movies

if they don't own them already. And so, you know, you're not just going through creepy hockey mask land. You are going through Friday the 13th and it's scenes from the movies. They recreate scenes from the movies. They do a great job. But they also have like

ribald adults only shows. And one of them that I guess they don't do anymore was they would change Waterworld to Slaughterworld it is a lot of the same stunts a lot of the same cues but with like body you know adults

only humor burlesque in a way the main I didn't catch the name of the, uh, I'll, I'll just, I'll call her the, the Deaconatrix.

Yeah. Uh, she's evil. Dark Helen. Dark Helen. Yeah. The Dark Helen saga. Old Helen.

Um, yeah. Instead of the, the bald, uh, male Dennis Hopper Deacon, there's kind of like a, like a leather girl.

Yeah. And who, you know, who, she's, and who, you know, who has, and I think her mission, and she has a, like a male slave, but also a sexy schoolgirl dancer. And she comes out with a little monologue about creating a female utopia. So, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, I think there may be something problematic about making that our villain, who wants you know of the female only society and that's rooting against that so oh yeah we have slaughter world it's just the walking problematic yes it's so it we looked it up it ran 2006 to the to 2008 three years we watched it right before this i feel like i still haven't processed it because there is so much going on there's a lot in this can i ask did it say is it slaughter world a sea war spectacular still i i just i i think i thought of the fix this wasn't what they did but i think we should call it slaughter world a live slay gore spectacular okay yeah slay gore thank you slay world gore spooktacular great did it i think they also numbered it was like slaughter

world two slaughter world three but i don't know that they changed anything it is bizarre there's a lot of the same effects a lot of the same stunts and set pieces but the music is all like stock like generic rock and for whatever reason the delivery is so stilted of the dialogue like i said it was like watching like a college sketch comedy group who is not rehearsed enough there's like a half speed step through right let's make sure you know you're blocking for when we do the real thing um and you do get a couple of pop hits there was a prodigy's fire starter yeah that's true at some point and nelly furtado's man eater when the deaconatrix comes out yes i really hope that is what she was called but i'm not totally sure but the main thing about it is that

well there's a they there is a lot of warning at the top to let you know that this show it's even like it's even self-aware they say the show has gore and swearing and bad jokes so they even know that much and uh and it does so uh you got you got people you got decapitations you got people getting shot and spraying blood three people die in the narration like someone starts doing the pre-show narration yes and then there's a gunshot and a different voice does it and then there's a gunshot and then a different voice so that's a joke and then right after that a guy comes out sort of dressed like um uh uh tommy dreamer like wrestling professional wrestling hardcore legend tommy dreamer of course i know he had like uh track pants on and kind of a loose shirt

and i believe he was the one who yelled the line, the louder you are, the nastier we get. I know, it's so funny hearing that line out of just a paunchy 35-year-old guy in track pants. I can see getting hyped by that if it's a jacked stud with no shirt on or hot babe, but it's just some dude dude like you want me to get nasty right yeah that's the other thing it's not explained who's he's oh that's yeah uh he's walking around with an m16 over his arm so he just looks like a man who's about to go full

falling down right yeah he's an early incel birthed the incel movement yeah but there's no one's dressed like the atollers there's a zombie but the zombie doesn't make any sense a lot of bodies hanging off of all the pylons of the atoll oh we were saying someone shot the zombie

and then he started to barf but it was like the SNL kind of like sleeve shooting barf bright yellow I admired the color cause I think it's hard he started to barf but it was like the snl kind of like oh yeah i love shooting bars that was actually kind of cool yeah that actually i admired the color because i think it's hard to get uh i think vomit can just be real olive and and blah it reads real the vomit reads great it was lit great that was pulled off well but other than that all of the gore moments like up at the top of the atoll somebody gets kind of their arms severed i

guess is what they're conveying and with a chainsaw and blood is spraying up you know against like the metal wall um and the audience is not the audience seems displeased the audience seems like uncomfortable and like not enjoying anything also seems like they're watching an under-rehearsed college sketch comedy sure as excited as they would it's like because you would expect they're gonna get nasty you would expect this crowd and look there's a lot of blood there's a lot i think the blood effects are kind of cool like if you like gore like that like it sprays a lot and it's crazy and one man gets his genitals ripped off by a chainsaw like and like if you like all this which you know we the three of us don't really care for it it's a little too much if you ask if you ask me you could tone it down um but if you were into that sort of thing i could see this

being very exciting uh and you would think a drunk crowd for halloween horror nights would be hooting and hollering during this whole thing but we watched this video and the audience was like silent no they if they had just ran the regular show like i feel like you can feel the audience leaning forward at that show sometimes like uh it is not a show i don't think it's ever a show where i've been like this guy won't stop talking behind me uh people are in yes people are into it yeah yeah um i i'm sorry i i have a thought as to why this is the case we have discussed that there is possible confusion in general though the show is though the daytime show is very well pulled off there's still confusion as to what's this and who's the deacon and what what's the a toll because this? Because it's based on a decades-old bombed film.

Now, you are going in fresh and seeing Slaughter World. I'm seeing a show called Slaughter World. And I don't know about Waterworld. As far as I know, this is a new thing. And the plot of it is that there's a big barracks and a leather lady in a boat. And she's commanding people to cut dicks off i just i think people are not uh there's not enough to pull people into the no the deep mythology of slaughter world it's good guys are these guys like one's wearing a janitor's jumpsuit with no sleeves and the other guy looks like i don't know a backyard bare knuckle brawler

again it's still the narration explains we are still in a in a world with no dry land we are still post global warming but then there's but we're not post leather we're not post nelly furtado right so we aren't we aren't post sexy school girl yeah Yeah. No, no. We're not posting a post like Carmen Electra style, like 90s burlesque. I think if you're experiencing this as a new narrative and you're drunk as fuck. Podcasts are great because they help us make the most out of our routine. We learn about the fall of the Ottoman Empire while we drive. Keep up with news while we take the dog for a walk. Or turn folding laundry into a comedy show.

Make the most out of your time with the PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard, a credit card that can get you unlimited free grocery delivery and the most PC Optimum points on everyday purchases. The PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard, the card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit pcfinancial.ca for details. Maybe there's some confusion going on. I have a different theory. I feel that there are not enough topical jokes.

And I think that they literally need to put a topical joke every 10 seconds to keep the drunk person's focus and that would keep them engaged. My feeling is that if you were to quiz dads after the regular show, they don't know what happened. They can't tell you a name of the character.

They just know it was awesome when it looked like they were going to die when a plane was coming at them. They knew it was cool when a man on fire fell in the water. So I think the stunts are good, but I think if you're going to do a bawdy show, you've got to do it up more. More fun, more references to 2007. I think you might be right because this somehow makes less sense than a lot of those Bill and Ted shows,

which usually don't make a lick of sense. No. It's for full context in case you don't know. There was a Bill and Ted Halloween show also as part of Halloween Horror Nights, the Keanu Reeves film Bill and Ted, which was full of topical references and very homophobic jokes and this was shut down due to a Vice magazine article

every kind of phobic not just homophobic there was so much so much phobia on shows yeah the sense of humor of the Bill and Ted shows it kind of amounts to

look it's Miley Cyrus and then someone the sense of humor of the Bill and Ted shows, it kind of amounts to, look, it's Miley Cyrus. Yes. And then someone in kind of a Miley Cyrus outfit will come out and then do a dance and then get killed somehow. Yeah, like a bucket diary. Look, it's Jaden Smith. And then they'll come out and do 10 seconds of a dance

and then get killed. I don't think it's even an exaggeration that you would see a look, it's Dr. Evil. And then everyone would dance to Gangnam style. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Dr. Evil was in at least one. If not all three. Perhaps if all, every one of them. If not all three years when Austin Powers movies came out. Wait, were there only three years?

Oh, you mean like the years? I'm saying they probably correspond, cause they correspond with what was big in the year leading up to October. Or in some cases, the three years prior to the performance. That's true. Yeah, there were some wells they went back to on that. We will certainly cover the Bill and Ted show.

Oh, yeah. But when this thing started, I wondered if the topicality would be a thing that would help connect people to the to the world building of slaughter world but in fact now so you're looking for now let's go back to 2007 so like paris hilton's fair game yeah um the movie juno for instance the impending election i was surprised we may have watched it in 2006. I was thinking, oh, there's going to be a line of, this is a worst fight than the Democratic

primer. Hillary versus Barack. John McCain versus whatever dirtbag. This is a worst fight. This is a worst fight. When I think of bad fights, I, of course, think of... One of the worst fights is Hillary versus Barack.

Yeah, yeah. The lowest moment in politics. So you're... Well, so you've got the guy on fire and you could wish that that was someone you wanted to catch on fire. Right. Like Sarah Palin or like...

Yes. Or there was going to be a Sarah Palin thing. I guess that would have had to have been the 2008 show. She would have been on the national scene for a few months. Maybe that but. It's like Kardashians are

kind of open season at that point still. Maybe it's seen as a little ghost to make fun of the Kardashians but I think then you know they were still kind of a punchline if a vehicle crashed behind the atoll with a big crash sound and an explosion you could say look out lindsey lohan's driving yeah exactly oh charlie sheena i wonder could you do uh tiger blood tiger blood that's a little early right that's 2009 or 10 later still

still 12 I don't know 2011 here's a 2007 one my seaplane this is going to be so expensive to fix what is it an iPhone or someone could yell the Marvel movies will stop being popular soon.

Little did they know. I enjoyed Iron Man and I don't need to see him again. Probably be the last we see of these Marvel Comics characters. I feel satiated. Made no sense at the time. That Samuel L. Jackson scene,

that won't come into play at all. That won't lead to anything. I mean, if we're still doing joke pitches. Oh, yeah. That was a bigger bomb than Norbit. Are you looking at the box office for 2007? Yeah, I'm just looking at movies. Hey, look, it's the Wild Hogs.

Here come the Wild Hogs. Here come the Wild Hogs here come the wild hogs on jet skis if you during when the guy's dick is cut off you could say well you just neutered him in the manner

popularized by recently switched out Price is Right host Bob Barker I just neutered him in the manner recently switched out Price is Right host Bob Barker. I just knew you were going to say that. A recently switched out host. Bob Barker. The secret of good joke

telling is word economy. Yeah, yeah. Economy works. Another seaplane joke. Who is flying that thing sky captain doesn't he know this is slaughter world and not the world tomorrow and then when there's a big mess somebody has to go oh we better call in michael clayton to clean everything up this is all great This would have been perfect. People would have been hooting and hollering.

Oh, you're making me really miss the glory days of 2007 to 18. Someone in the crowd holding up their t-shirt, like standing up and pulling on their t-shirt. Like, I got a Clayton shirt on. I got a Clayton shirt on. He's talking about me. He's talking about me. I love Clayton. Oh, somebody's got a bucket and they throw the bucket like it's

gonna be water and like a big thing of paper come out comes out and then two old men come out and they say that's my bucket list and they look like morgan freeman and jack nicholson that's great that would be perfect god that's good oh oh if only we could mail jokes back to... Well, that's genuinely true. We would work for too little and no pride if to be the alt-righters for Slaughter World.

The alt-right writers? Listen, we want all our alternate writers to also be part of the alt-right. Yeah, that's fine. Alt-writers. No, yeah, we want all our alternate writers to also be part of the alt-right. Yeah, that's fine. Oh, no. Alt-writers. Yeah. Alt-writers. No, yeah, we will do it.

We give a lot of sincere pleas on this show, and this is one of them. Let us write Slaughter World or any version of a Halloween Horror Nights send-up of pop culture, please. Yeah, I think as we've demonstrated on this show, we're're sensitive so you're not going to run into any controversy right we you know by creating the helen test perhaps the most woke metric by which to judge fiction yes uh you can count on these fellas not to do anything controversial we would never be good clean fun and people saying look it's michael clayton michael clayton comes out nouffling, like a fascist hair. You used to get dragged for years. Everyone can enjoy that.

Look, it's Michael Clayton. And the references will just be 2007 references. We're not doing anything topical, I don't think. Because current topical stuff upsets people. People don't want to think about it right now. They want to go back and think about Anton Sugar. Everyone says I'm bad yells the uh uh deaconatrix but really i'm super bad boy this fight is really out of control i need to hide my kids hide my wife

when was that that was around then right that was around yeah what was that? That was around then, right? That was around then. What was that man's name? Anyone remember? I don't know. Antoine Dodson? Antoine Dodson. Yeah. All right. That would kill today, that joke.

That actually would probably still work. That would work. When I saw... Oh, Genie did that at the California Adventure Aladdin show. He did Hydra Kids, Hydra Wives? Yes, he absolutely did it. Really? Yes.

Daniel, maybe? This show, we'll do two hours on this show because I'll rewatch. I've seen that show 10 times. And Genie would do, he would cycle in and out topical reference. Genie did some Gangnam Style. Genie did the horsey dance. Yeah, so we won't give away too much of it. But yeah, I remember now, he for sure did that joke.

And it killed. I don't think this is the last we're gonna talk about Slaughter world either This one's gonna stick In my craw this one's gonna stick with me Well maybe one day you'll be listening to A regular episode about That you think is about some boring Shit like the you know

You're listening to the Mike Fink Keelboat episode and then all of a sudden And the Deaconatrix Hello boys episode and then all of a sudden and the Deaconatrix rolls in. Hello boys! Have you guys thought about maybe making her a recurring character?

Oh, maybe. Not a bad idea. I think we should soften the music a little more like a Steve Miller band or a sort of thing. Well, we got a lot of great options for the future i mean i guess we've already we figured out our our plus up as is which is to keep it slaughter world what during the day as

well i guess yeah oh forever you mean yeah yeah yeah slaughter world all the time yeah i mean much kinder but much kinder if you won't know slaughter world is a play on anything no no no yeah because we look they've already lost water world is already kind of irrelevant so let's let's build on the promise the promise of slaughter world is like like the promise of dry land i'm sure we all need to navigate our ships towards it um any any closing thoughts uh on this this this great franchise or or for some godforsaken reason you want to talk about boring old water world again water all the life seawords spectacular well i mean slaughter world is obviously the better show um for so many reasons um time uh just because i you know uh no that's just a joke because of course i don't like the language and i don't like the sexual content of it um but i do think that it's i like you know something that's been

around so long i would like them to change it up a little bit once in a while so i just like the idea that it would be changed up because it has been pretty similar for 20 years from what i'm understanding about it um and it would be nice you know for not that it has to be a christmas overlay or anything but that might be fun yeah oh sure i um uh sure is is santa captured like in the same manner as the pirates dinner adventure sometimes captures santa because the pirates dinner adventure we know save me mariner you're my only hope i must escape this atoll excuse me that is very fun back to the north pole and they shoot santa's sleigh out instead of the seaplane oh that's good thank you and he's also voiced by dom pardo thank you dom pardo's ghost yeah uh yeah good boys and girls

uh yeah so i mean the show is great i i guess i didn't make this point earlier uh the water itself makes a stunt show 10 times better also yeah so i do think that like this thing is going to be able to go for another 20 years 30 years until they truly like don't have anything else to remake because everything's being remade and they will remake waterworld it will happen oh for sure i mean westworld is not like a movie people hold in high the yule brenner version is not like oh yeah great that's cool but they like totally remade it for like a hit tv show so i don't see any reason why they wouldn't other than the fact that shooting on everything on uh open sea is incredibly expensive yeah like a a straightforward like

waterworld tv show i could see working well what's it's all digital it's all digital it looks like crap and people love it well uh i'll say this not to be a downer but there was an accident at the i forget whether it was japan or singapore recently oh i guess i remember this yeah i think it was there because i had trouble finding i don't know that there were that many articles about it there are a bunch of videos of it which is kind of ghoulish but the guy on the water skis i think like fell or jumped too soon and like banged his head on something and it seemed like he was fine and another guy jumped he's gonna need a good lawyer let's see who could we get

who's proven great lawyer since 2007 um yeah but i i i think the plus up i think everyone let's all just have a big safety meeting let's walk through all the stunts you know you don't want to go on autopilot you never want to go i think just a just a refresher just because there was an incident when was the incident feel better it was like a month ago oh it was a few weeks ago yeah um uh uh yeah it seems like everyone's okay so you're plus it up there's no more accidents i well you know it's safety first you know you can never be too safe you know uh even if you're doing these stunts again and again every day it has to be very meticulous very precise that's why they can cue the sound effect with buttons you know you gotta do everything you gotta replicate it the same way and that's hard i think it's all i think this is some like backseat driving on your part to accuse the show of not doing safety meetings

yeah and not being sure they do i'm just saying when there is an incident it's good to just like all right everyone let's go back let's just check in how's everyone feeling you know from here on out now there won't be an accident for the next two years and you will take credit like trump taking credit for no plane crashes during his presidency did that happen are you Yeah, he tweeted about, like, no plane crashes. No plane crashes. Doing great. Which Obama also had a good run of no plane crashes. Bad record of plane crashes in Waterworld. Every day, up to 11 times a day.

That's what finally sunk George H.W. Bush's re-election campaign. They started calling him President Plane Crash. Never got the stink off of got it off i was trying to think about uh i was looking at like universal films since 1995 on which like because hasn't there been anything that they could have turned this into and i couldn't really find a good answer i can see why they kept this there is not a good water-based property but i was trying to think of universal films that i'd like to see incorporated maybe just in an overlay sense and it's a good opportunity for new movies coming out and i had an idea of to to heighten the stakes of

it and make it more relevant for a couple months maybe now the window has passed although now everybody's seen this film and they really enjoyed it um imagine if this time if the deacon had a different plan this time and he kidnapped a group of horny high school students the children of the blockers the blockers had to break into the atoll to get their horny teens back and i guess you would have to call this show blocker World. So they really missed an opportunity here. Blocker War, a horny high school adventure. A horny high school. Spermtacular.

That's great. I would love that. At least, as I was saying, a temporary overlay. Yeah. Doesn't have to be. Some way to skin. Yeah.

Briefly weave in a new. Is the non-joke answer why isn't it a fast and furious thing that's a universal movie it's big it's explosions i mean it's yeah i mean i mean that would be awesome i in in florida hollywood studios at disney world used to have a show called like lights motor action and it was cool to see live stunt driving and like here's we did this crazy thing now we're going to show you how we did it the only thing is you need so much room right to drive the cars in and out store them have a backstage area where they go so i don't know that there's enough space i know that's like yeah and fast and furious is covered now with this tram

attraction oh yeah sure but discuss that what's that we have not discussed the fast and furious tram attraction no no no i don't think i'm not even sure i've been on it yet oh really yeah um but the uh also you wonder about a about jurassic world that like it's i guess it's certainly covered with the ride but you know that you could do that yeah um i don't know if they have enough space to build that a giant robot of the giant fish thing which was not a robot in the movie um but that that's a potential i don't know you're getting we're getting down there with franchises though i can see why it hasn't been replaced

yeah it's not an easy it's not an easy switch out capacity has always been hot like people have been like filling up that arena for 20 years

like it hasn't as soon as it dipped I bet people they would have been like yeah let's put Fast and the Furious in but there's like there's no reason to do it we don't see financial

it eats up people too like it eats up gets so many people out of other areas of park into that arena. And when they do polls, like internal polls or, like, audience award, like vote online sort of things, Waterworld always, like, wins those polls. Yep. when the tram tour was plussed up by the excellent barbs and quips of Scott Gairdner. Still, the surface did not climb and defeat Waterworld Alive Sea Wars Spectacular.

That's wild. I was always a chip on my shoulder. I was trying to turn the winner prize around. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, his bridesmaid, never a blocker. Never a blocker. But these weren't comments just specifically on your tour.

You were thinking that just because you were doing tours was hoping to elevate knock the whole the average i was hoping to dethrone the deacon entirely and but that's a that's a high goal for a minimum wage employee you ever think about maybe leaving the tram and going to the atoll did it you know uh yeah i mean that's the city on the hill putting in a transfer that's the dream and if i guess i don't know i don't know how i yeah i could get in stunt shape why not yeah sure light me on fire push me off the uh yeah the water's gonna be like jacked probably it's probably just you know being i'm not sure ever it's just jet ski comfortability according to the casting site and i have never been on one but i'm sure

i would ace it out of the gate yeah that's an easy long weekend of training yeah yeah yeah yeah give me give me an afternoon put me on the night show put me in put me in slaughter world yeah um make me make me the the uh deacon atrix's dick victim. I mean, yeah, you usually pay good money for that, right? So to be paid to do it instead. Everyone watching. Oh boy, the ultimate.

Well, who's nasty now? Hey, we didn't get loud enough for you to get this nasty. Yeah, we did not. Too nasty, given how loud we got. They didn't deserve this. I didn't get loud enough for you to get this nasty yeah we did too nasty even how loud we got they didn't deserve this i didn't earn it a quiet whisper is nasty enough for me uh uh jordan final verdict on uh on water world alive sea war spectacular uh yeah i mean i i love it i mean it's baffling that it's there it's great that this like you know because so many movies kind of come

and go and you know they just kind of fade into obscurity if they don't you know because so many movies kind of come and go and you know they just kind of fade into obscurity if they don't you know become part of the canon and it's nice that this weird disaster of a movie with a crazy backstory kind of lives on through this stunt show maybe the one of the worst or most maligned movies becomes one of the best if not the best yeah it's kind of an inspiring you know cinderella's story in its own way uh and yeah and i'm sure that whoever it was who made water world whose name no one remembers and probably was banned from movies after that could probably still walk by the old you know the old stunt arena and and think you know i did it i did yeah i created permanent real estate at uh the entertainment capital of la yes ride the movies um uh i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna wrap up

the show here but i'm gonna do it in a slightly different way i'm gonna give you guys a heads up just to prepare something i think in tribute to water world i think it's only right that we should credit we should give our favorite credits that we have from that work in the world of entertainment professionals or web. So go ahead. Get a choice credit in your head. And I think let's do a rousing full cast bow at the end of this this spectacular episode so i'll i'm gonna kick it off all right jordan morris you survived podcast the ride ladies and gentlemen you may recognize some of our podcasters from their work in television or branded web content uh from the From the Nissan Juke Guy missions on funnierdie.com, I'm Scott Gairdner.

Hey. Oh, you introduced yourself. And I'm Jordan Morris. It's so great to be here. Of course, you might remember me as Surfer Dude from the NBC4 weather commercial featuring Fritz Kuhlman. I do. I certainly do. That's him.

Hey, I'm Mike Carlson from the hit Spike TV show Manswers from the segment Why You Should Never Get a Handjob from a British Chick. I have also been on Manswers. Two Manswers stars. I have podcast the ride.

And last but not least, I'm Jason Sheridan from Hannah Montana. Oh, what? Yeah, that's not a joke. What? Yeah, I was like... You were Hannah Montana? I was a featured extra at Hannah Montana in 2009. Does that mean you got a line?

No, I was going to get hip checked into a vending machine by Miley Cyrus. Wow. And then they're like, you know what? Hey, you picked a cool thing. But then they took it over there. Like, you know what? Just stand next to the vending machine. She's going to hip-check this other beautiful woman.

Look at Jason over here bragging about his cool part. You're a regular Jack Black over here Cocky actor That's the part you're going to be remembered by You fell right into my toxic pit Like Matt told us Jordan Morris An actual thanks for being here.

Thank you. No, this was great. This was so much fun. Oh, great. And yes, where can people find you or anything you'd like to point out? Yeah, I'm at

Jordan underscore Morris on Twitter. I've got the chat podcast, Jordan Jesse Go, but also something I'm doing the rounds for is called Bubble. It's a scripted sci-fi comedy podcast. I think if you like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, if you like Portlandia,

it's kind of a little mashup between those two things. Eight episodes, all your comedy favorites, doing voices. You got your Cristela Alonzo's. You got your Keith Powell's from 30 Rock. Your Mike Mitchell's from Doughboy's. Hey there. All your faves. John Hodgman, Judy Greer need i go on i need it wow

yeah it's kind of a cool experiment i don't know if the scripted podcasts are gonna fly but uh i sure hope they do so bubble to try and cool way to tell a story yeah yeah yeah it seems like you had fun doing it it was a hoot uh yeah so, that is, it's called Bubble and it's wherever you get podcasts. And if you were, and in its success, hopefully it could be turned into Bubble, a live. A live. Well, you fill it in because you know the details. Oh, sure. I don't know if there's a war in Bubble.

It's a, there's a sea war. So, it would just be a sea war. Maybe that's the new skin we need for this thing. Hey, okay. It's all tying together. Yeah. Hey, as long as there's some, as long as there's some dick sawing off. Yeah, there's a sawing off dick

and actually three characters named Helen. Oh, no. We all need to evaluate our own work. Fellas, what do we promote? All the things we promote. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all Podcast the Ride. Find us there talk give us

the rate and review us on the apple podcasts app uh what else i i you know if you if you know the location of dry land please yeah please share with us hashtag dirt um i would like to end if do we are we are we all done because I would like to end with one thing real quick please alright let's hope that this works the chimes wow

podcastclips.com dot com. See you on dry land, everybody.