Podcast: The Ride - When Tomorrowland Was Weird

Episode Date: March 24, 2023

We take a look at the early days of Disneyland's Tomorrowland. Thrill to the many state flags! Gaze in awe at the wonders of aluminum, chemicals, and lead paint! Disney Adventures Magazine episode up at Club 3: Patreon.com/PodcastTheRide Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/gka2u8eUm_M FOLLOW PODCAST: THE RIDE: https://twitter.com/PodcastTheRide https://www.instagram.com/podcasttheride BUY PODCAST: THE RIDE MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/podcast-the-ride PODCAST THE RIDE IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/podcast-the-ride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You've got unlimited access to music, but time? Now that's limited. The PC Insider's World's Elite MasterCard gets you unlimited PC Optimum points, free grocery delivery, and time back for what matters. Save time and earn $1,100 in average value each year. The PC Insider's World's Elite MasterCard. The card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit pcfinancial.ca for details. Values for illustrative purposes only.

Forever. Dog. Warning. The following podcast features versatile metals, a Dutch boy, decorative test tubes, and plenty of toilet talk. Plus a look back when Tomorrowland was weird on today's podcast, The Ride, presented by Raytheon, quality guided missiles, and Kent Cigarettes, the cigarettes of the atomic age.

We're the hosts of tomorrow, Scott Gairdner as well as Mike Carlson. Yes. Hello. I'm Mike Carlson. I just want to say that some of the missiles that Raytheon make are friendly missiles. So I just want to make sure everyone knows that before we begin. They protect the skies. That's right. They're good. They prevent less trustworthy missiles. Good, nice missiles. And Jason Sheridan. National lead paint. National lead paint national lead paint all our friends are here today it's a great lineup of shady companies like really one of the best that we have assembled because it's what walt disney assembled when tomorrowland was weird the i'm

perfectly tied into the the. Yeah. It is. We're talking about the early days of Tomorrowland, you know, from 55 to 60, roughly, although it doesn't all line up like that. But early Tomorrowland bullshit. And are you guys excited about it? I am very excited. This seems like a tailor-made for us kind of topic.

I mean, I knew bits and pieces, but looking at it all together and thinking about the narrative, I guess I never really knew the narrative of Tomorrowland almost didn't happen at all for opening. Yeah, yeah. And that's kind of the... I found this all interesting from the perspective of, you know, we said in the People Mover episode that we'd talk about Tomorrowland a bunch this year.

And this is maybe the first we've returned to it. And I think it's interesting because, you know, Tomorrowland at Disneyland especially is in a rough place. We've complained about it many a time. And we're going to kind of tackle this problem this year as much as we can. But I was like, I wonder if, like, could we diagnose the problem a little easier if we started at the beginning,

if we go back to the roots and see, are the roots rotting? What's going on under the surface? And I think it's not, it doesn't i i think it's it's not it doesn't start good with tomorrowland no it doesn't you're treating the underlying you don't want to just treat one of the symptoms you want to treat the patient you want to treat the underlying condition that's there so that's what we're talking about here when when we just start this massive uh tomorrowland uh redo that we're going to fix.

Yeah. We're going to make happen somehow. Yeah, over the course of the year. Yes, we will slowly solve the problem. When you look at it through the lens of going all the way back to the beginning, it really does seem like the land is like a prize fighter in a big bout with a one arm tied behind its back. It's just like everywhere else you know everywhere was struggling opening day was a disaster you always hear that but i guess i it never really

dawned on me of just how not just weird but like messed up tomorrowland was after it was an afterthought it was an afterthought seemingly yes yeah um so it's a scramble building disneyland as we know the whole thing was done within a year correct we've sort of yeah because it was various ways it was not a long time building right because it was going to be delayed and then all of a sudden it wasn't sure yeah well i mean i meant disneyland in general like like the whole oh yes yes the whole thing a year, and it seems like the initial energy really goes into the huge carving of the earth. We got to make these rivers, and then the river, I think, drained and was not a river, and they had to figure out how to make the river actually a river.

And then the big stuff they're thinking about, the Mark Twain. We're going to take a lot of care to make a perfect old river boat and the Jungle Cruise, that the foliage has to be perfect. And then it seems like Tomorrowland just got kicked down the curb over and over again and not dealt with. Where it wasn't going to make opening day. And then Walt hit a point where he couldn't stop thinking about it. He's like, I've talked about it on the TV show too much. Yes.

He's been on television standing next to upstanding Nazi scientists. Yeah. So this was another refresher of how many damn Nazis were hanging around the Disneyland. He's, and if he doesn't get this place open, then it's, it's not fair to the audience and it's not fair to the nazis no it's not you can't make promises right in front of the nazis that you

don't keep no um it's a weird thing like everybody like it's because if you don't know this that the the disneyland tv show thematically represented the big lands here's the adventure land weeks and specials there's frontier land these here's fantasy land and tomorrowland was all these like man in space these forward thinking specials that were legitimately educational and like helped the drive to uh you know to the space race and educated the public about that but for some reason it's nazi scientists some reason it's not yeah this. This is the source. It was almost, I guess, the public was just like, it was almost like a game of risk or something. Well, we captured this, and now they work for us.

And you're like, wait a minute. Hold on a minute here. Yeah. Operation Paperclip. Get them out of Europe. Yeah. It was almost just like not even thinking of the implications of what had happened versus just like, well, now we've captured a playing piece in a way.

They flipped good as soon as we met them. As soon as we shook their hands, it transformed them into good. Exactly. So everything's fine now. Don't worry. Put them right on television. Yeah.

They're TV ready. So that's, well, look at, boy, it's even before the park is the Tomorrowland rot. That's what we're finding. Tomorrowland has these specials with bad people in them. That's true. And then things get cooking. And as you said, Jason, I didn't realize this, that it's September 54.

Tomorrowland is essentially killed entirely. Not that we'll never build it, but this guy C.V. Wood, this early developer, says to Walt, we can't do it. It's just we don't have the money and we don't have the time. We're just going to have to call this future expansion. So this was going to be, it's Galaxy's Edge and Rise of the Resistance opening later. Or Avengers Campus with maybe never a ride over there. It's funny these things that remind you, like, oh, it's kind of all the same. Like the same syndromes have happened ever since 55 or 54.

Yeah, everything repeats in different ways. The Haunted Mansion took 10 years or whatever. Right, right. Oh, yeah, yeah. But so, yeah, then months pass. It drives him crazy. He's like, we got to do something. We're going to do something.

And they scramble. By the way, a lot of this I'm pulling from something called DisneyHistoryInstitute.com, which is a cool website. Great website, yeah. If you want to just read the actual stuff. So they start getting into it. They start dreaming, but they only got six months or so to go. And it's tougher to do Tomorrowland in general than it is to everything we always come back to of like, how do we represent tomorrow? And is it a future that never was or is it a retro future?

Like they were again, they were having this problem back then because we know how to make the Old West. We know what that looks like. And we know who in California can build Old West stuff. But Tomorrowland, what is it? What is it going to be? They had this problem from the very beginning. Yeah, they're going to build a UFO. Like what are they going to build?

Like they have to, it's an imagination. They have to come up with a concept and build original things that don't exist in the world was there even that much like sci-fi fascination at this point like was ufo a big maybe i i don't know when like i don't know the timeline of like war of the worlds and such but well there were b movies before this um yeah so i don't know that it was such a mainstream thing i think like your dweebs and geeks of the time certainly liked this type of entertainment but I don't know that perverts like you had a

science fiction comic book you go read that in the darkest room you can find not in public right yeah I mean Walt would rather have Nazis on TV than a dweeb that likes we need all those Operation Paperclip guys, you know? That is a thing that I keep coming across recently

where it's like, oh, yeah, the rise in canned food really picked up after World War II because there was so much surplus and there were so many companies who learned how to make preserved goods for the war effort and then after world war ii the space race so many innovations came from i was trying not to say intervention so many innovations came from like stuff developed for the space race oh that's interesting the war stuff fed right into the space race i didn't really realize that plan

nine is 1959 plan nine from outer space which is not of course the i don't know that it like popularized no it didn't yeah but there's like yeah there's plenty of like weird serial stuff from the 40s and sure sure oh yeah 40s and buck rogers and stuff but i yeah it doesn't seem like that was ever in the cards that kind of future was not because i think he was i think walt was always interested interested in the science fact of it all and everything that fed into Epcot eventually, like what really will be the future soon. So they started digging, well, what can we do with the little time we have? And Walt started dreaming up a big fountain that's made up of molecules, sort of in the realm of that DNA, Infernal Wonders of Life. Right, right. sort of in the realm of what that DNA Infernal Wonders of Life and this looked the designs of this look cool and poppy and then they're like

no not going to happen in enough time there were even I mean the grand plans of it were like that there's like I think maybe a stationary but still like a representation of a monorail essentially in the hub that there's like a track and like a mock-up of a monorail

just to give the idea of like futuristic vehicles that's out there was talk of um a restaurant kind of at the at the front of it where you pick your food on a conveyor belt but then the conveyor belt also cooks the food yeah and you watch all of that happen until they realized well that is literally a future idea and i don't know if we can do that yes they couldn't even picture the burger king flame broiled whopper phenomenon yet you know yeah or the quiz nose oh yeah a little quiz nose belt what was that called oh yeah did that have a name yeah did they patent that that quiz nose little belt is quiz Quiznos still around? I think there's a lot less, but I think there's still some.

Okay. It does feel like they were on every street corner. Yeah. There were Quiznos across the street from each other at one time. They were on Subway's ass for a while, and now Subway won, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah, they really won. Yeah, 2008, 2009, doing PA jobs.

Definitely would stop at a Quiznos every now and then. Is Togo still around? There is still Togo. A little bit. But they never had the market share. And how did Subway manage to do it despite having the worst possible spokesperson? Well, Walt had Nazis on and Subway had Jared

and they both did fine. It really tells you the staying power of Subway, that they were not hurt, I don't think in any way. Not for a second. The worst spokesperson. People were probably like finding out in line. They're like, oh yeah, the spokesman was a pedophile. Huh. Alright, well.

I'm not going to go touch anybody when I leave this with my sandwich. Tuna. Footlong tuna. Tuna's not really tuna. Footlong tuna. Yoghurt bread. I don't care about the my sandwich tuna tuna's not really tuna yoga mat bread I don't care about the fact that the tuna's not tuna it's delicious I'm not gonna let

one bad apple spoil the bunch of fake tuna that is spoiled and will make me sick I mean looking at long past Disneyland history is really fascinating because I think I've talked before about like excavating recent history. Like finding the tie in DC comics where Superman's shaking Gerald Fogel's hand and going like, thanks for your help today. Or just the eBay.

That one happened? Oh, yeah. That's real. Yeah. Oh, no. The worst villain. Or just the eBay. That one happened? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's real. Yeah. Oh, no. Or just the stuff on eBay where you can find the Lehman Brothers company swag. Just stuff that has gone under. And it's like, oh, they made so much garbage.

The garbage is still out there. It's still very expensive. Wow. I'm glad DC then wasn't like, we need to commemorate. We got our Six Flags deal. We should commemorate the Jared moment in the parks in every Six Flags. Oh, yeah. Subway.

The highest quality. Yeah. Well, with Six Flags, though, there may still be time. It may be in process. Maybe in process for the last 15 years. And they're just like, you know what? We made it.

Maybe we just put the statue out. Can we put a wig on? Jared looked like anybody, essentially. Yeah, we spent money. Why would we waste it? So it's possible. So plans are out. What do we do?

Eventually it lands at just build two big buildings. Just make two big buildings. Get going on those because we need the time to get those installed. What will be in the buildings? I don't know.

Just make the buildings and we will figure it out. Like Haunted Mansion. Oh yeah, true. Build a front of it, whatever. I don't know what it's the buildings and we will figure it out. Like Haunted Mansion. Oh, yeah, true. Build the front of it, whatever. I don't know what it's going to be, but build it. Yeah, exterior's up for a long time before they even come out. We don't even know.

Predates what even goes in there. And the layout of Tomorrowland remains the same, essentially, that you walk into this thoroughfare and here's the what now on your left is Buzz Lightyear and what now on your right is Star Tours like that that basic layout is the same but it really but then what all right what do we do and I don't know who exactly is tasked with this but it but here's where we get into uh let's assemble the squadron of the shadiest companies in America to toss together some barely entertaining commercials. Ads for themselves. Yeah.

Yeah. That aren't even as like because now we're a little more accustomed to there's fun little package delivery scenes at the end of Space Mountain sponsored by FedEx. These are truly just, hey, it's us. And awkwardly, because none of them really want to say, here's the this of tomorrow. It's them saying, it's this, which will be really good tomorrow, but it's also very good right now. Would you like to buy some right now? Unlike most companies, we did tomorrow today. That's just our quality standard. Yeah. good tomorrow but it's also very good right now would you like to buy some right now we unlike

most companies we did tomorrow today that's just that's just our quality standard yeah head down the street head down the street to your local establishment get out of this part go to the crane bathroom uh showroom actually that's more fun than here disneyland it's so funny because walt you know when you read about him he was such a control freak and a guy who wanted this quality to be so high uh uh I like the idea that all this stuff existed here but it sucks it's like bad it's all bad it does and it sucks and it's surprising that he allowed this to open all of this stuff which we'll talk about today well it's desperation I know you're right.

And for the level of the quality control he's able to have over the films is that in this new medium, an entire land is just tossed together. It sucks. It's fair, but worse. It's awful. Yeah. And it's so funny. I love it. And the rest of the park is, you know, it's not like the one, the park today, the gray.

You can see the grass. You can see deep into the hills of Anaheim. People could just run away or climb a fence. That's fine. I understand that that was just sort of like, that's a work in progress. But Tomorrowland was awful. It was bad. It definitely mirrors Main Street in terms of lots of sponsors and vendors.

But like, for the most part, Main Street had things people could use, like coffee or liverwurst or whatever nasty undergarments. Things Jason needs. I was trying to remember the nasty menu from what is now the plaza. Could you get a tube of liverwurst on Main Street? I don't think so. You could get a display tube now the Plaza. Could you get a tube of liverwurst on Main Street? I don't think so. A display tube from the pharmacy. Oh, okay. And then you could put it in there.

With little capsules. Before churros, you just took a, you walked around with a hot tube. One hot tube, please. This is too futuristic, actually. Too food, you know. Yeah, you're right. This is all, it's hard to imagine what function this, now I don't know if I know the source of this quote,

but I liked it. This might be from a book by Randy Bright, the Disneyland store. I'm not sure what it is, but all right. With time and money running short, before the opening of Tomorrowland, Walt had been forced to accept several corporate county fair type exhibits. That's even below.

We're calling it World's Fair. That's more accurate. No insult to county fairs, which can be excellent, but are often intended to run for a couple months. And some of these ran for years and years. Some of these attractions did little more than promote the companies themselves and even less to promote the future. That is very true. Yeah. Mostly seemingly unentertaining things.

And now the onus is on us to make the discussion of the non-entertaining things entertaining. Well, I dare you to crack our knuckles on the mics. All right. I dare you. Take the challenge. Take right. I dare you. Take the challenge. Take the podcast the ride challenge. It's not like

the subway challenge. It's a better. No, no, no. There's no blood on the hands of this challenge. Ken, I want to talk first before we dive

into the companies. Let's talk about one of the biggest things you would see, which is really nothing. The court of honor. The court of honor. The court of nothing. The court of honor. The court of honor. The listeners know offhand what the court of honor is.

And does that phrase conjure anything to you? Imagine what that might possibly be. And now, Jason, what is it? Okay. I saw this somewhere. I just saw the phrase, and I thought I'd have to look this up. And then there was a defunct land that tied a lot of this together for me because I saw a lot of individual blogs, and it helped fill in a lot of blanks.

The Court of Honor was 48 state flags on tall poles, and then a taller pole with the American flag? Because it's the best. Because it's the best. It's the best. Because that's the best. It's a super state. That is seemingly the most attempt to tie this all together. Bunch of flags.

It was a bunch of flags. Bunch of flags. Uh-huh. So they did that. Walt didn't get his molecules, but he got his bunch of flags, which I think for a while, i think it moved a couple times but what now is that bit if you're depressed when you see what used to be the people mover loading station and uh and the rocket jets and is now that sculpture that doesn't move right at least

it that all is better than a bunch of flags a bunch of yeah is did anybody check each flag were there any fake flags that he felt would be there tomorrow or like he waltz thought certain countries would invade each other and he invented new flags like did he do any of that or was it just flags from countries in the moment so like you're thinking like pole lebraska when poland invades nebraska yeah new pole lebraska when poland invaded nebraska because walt had like some idea of like different when Poland invades Nebraska. Yeah, New Pole, Nebraska when Poland invaded Nebraska because Walt had some idea of different countries and what would happen.

China, duh. When China takes over Florida. He had all the states. He also had the Russian flag and the Soviet Union flag because it's like, well, we could lose this Cold War. So just to be safe.

We might. We want those on hand to roll up really quick. Walt loves America, but he will easily love Russia if it comes to that. It was a color change flag. It was an innovative flag. It could change color on it with just like, I don't know, a little button or something. Just push it gently and now we're New Allegiance.

I was just looking for some future way this ties into progress or the future by having all the all the flags no and it wasn't like new new york the floating new york in the full shape of new york right but it's up in the clouds you know just regular ground new york right boring boring is what i say to that yeah similarly boring what became the big entrance item, which was the clock of the world. It is a big-ish clock that shows you what time it is across the world. Now, this, I think, is at least novel. Like, this, I kind of get.

It kind of looks cool. Like, seems interesting, you know? The clock of the world, you know, the clock of the world to me reminds me of a large version of the mind control device that Edward Nygma does and uses in Batman forever. It's got a similar, it's got like a blender. It looks like a blender. It's got a thing on it and he puts it on that.

It's a, it's disguised as like a virtual reality kind of a, like a, a, like Elon Musk's implant that just gets in your brain and delivers content. But yeah, it looks like that to me. Has anyone made this Edward Nygma-Elon Musk connection?

People think he's cool, but isn't he just the new Edward Nygma? Maybe there are undertones of that in my Batman Forever 2 script. Maybe. You're folding in the... But here's the twist. Unlike Edward Nygmaon musk is not funny you couldn't tell a riddle to save his life that's true his riddles are all stolen from people online and he doesn't cite sources um so um you know consider um riddling me um

this if you um if you want um yeah yeah no he there will in batman forever 2 edward nigma will still be able to riddle well great great he will not be riddling like elon musk yeah that would that would be torture to yeah to watch when edward nigma hosts gotham night live now look i don't want to take advice i take ideas from people but maybe i have to steal that particular it's you thought of this is a creative space you know just give me a special thanks okay i will um did uh did would bruce wayne have hosted or did he not want the attention does that like if you stare at bruce wayne on television do you start to figure out maybe he's batman uh i think there would be like bruce would not want to do it but

there would be some he would be dating someone or there would be some sort of gotham charity thing and alfred and whoever like vicky vale they're encouraging him to do it for a specific reason okay i don't think he would want to do it, but he would reluctantly do it, and obviously the Mad Hatter would attack in the middle of the live broadcast. Yeah, he cuts out from the broadcast. So he's coming

on stage putting his suit back on at the very end. He's kind of the oddball one of the... He's like when Steve Forbes was sick. Yeah. Is that the richest host? No, Elon's the richest host of it. Or Bloomberg, maybe?

I don't think he hosted, but he was on it. The coolest host, yeah. The coolest. Yeah. And then maybe one week, instead of a musical guest, they just... Ladies and gentlemen, the Flying Graysons. Well, sure.

With a circus guest. The Flying Graysons. Well, sure. With a circus guest, the Flying Graysons. They do a lot of artsy stuff on Saturday Night Live now with the musical guests. Oh, that's true. They are always these little arranged tableaus. Jason, are any of Batman's villains good singers? I'm drawing a blank here. Good singers. I'm sure there's some Sonic- based DC villains. Someone's yelling at the

podcast right now that I'm missing somebody. Screaming Mimi's in Marvel. Catwoman would be Eartha Kitt Catwoman if she had the same singing ability. So maybe Catwoman. Maybe Catwoman. Selina Kyle musical guest.

Here's one thing to bring up and when I think about that clock of the world um i think about the opening day telecast where walt delivers a tomorrowland specific opening in front of it um where he misses his cue and it's awkward for a good long time and then he does the speech and then a bunch of doves all fly out or pigeons i don't know who knows he didn't know we don't know yeah yeah just i don't know a bunch of flapping happens but then there's there's this fact about tomorrowland that is also i think key to the the rot in a way the maybe somewhat famous fact that it is meant to be to portray the far off future of 1986, which whoever's narrating says.

So 1986, so that's way ahead, he says. Yeah. Sort of. But there's also one year in the same special. There's narration that says, yes, this is tomorrow. And it's not a stylized dream of the future, but a scientifically planned projection of future techniques by leading space experts in science techniques okay i guess so it feels like a lot of people's loose definitions made it in early on of what this thing is supposed to be i don't think yeah i don't think everybody maybe got the memo about 1986 because a lot of it sure looks like a 1950s industrial college it looks like it looks like a

mid-sized like part of a college campus yes where you go to like you know where you bring your slide rule right protractor it's weird it's weird too and i guess it's not weird because because every other land is meant i think to be a very stylized version of adventure adventure land and it's like you're on some wild expedition and then frontier land the old west cowboys and everything is very much like centered around an exciting narrative that would have been on a TV show, the version of it that would have been in a movie or a TV show, Fantasyland, Princess, all that stuff. And for some reason, why Walt wanted this thing to be dry is confusing to me. Does that make sense? He wanted it to feel like the people who are working on the early forms of space travel,

which we are not that interested in yet as a country. Right. Neil Armstrong, we don't know interested in yet as a country right neil armstrong we don't know about him yet there's no space rock stars it's just clinical scientists yeah and the most famous ones right now are nazis right it's yeah what is it almost like dealing with this as a land is a is a flawed concept because you would think that if it was future it would be a stylized future it would be like star trek or something where there's technology you're seeing technology that doesn't exist it's just fun imagining what would be in the future which stuff comes true like star

trek people people using ipads on star trek people like all different things kind of like oh that's kind of somebody uh imagine what that would be like in 30 years but he's like not interested in that in a weird way he loves american commerce sure he loves american companies likely sees himself as like well i'm a head of industry i'm i'm on par with the heads of uh boeing and transit uh pan and am and um and likely probably felt because science fiction was the era, that was the realm of pulp, like shitty little pulps. I guess that's why. It's like trash.

Yeah, it's frivolous. And even though that's eventually what the Imagineers got to. Because it makes sense. It makes sense for that to be, because everything else is that way. It's the pulp version of everything else. Yeah, I mean, eventually they would do the future that never was in the same way they would do the Hollywood that never was

and will always be at MGM Studios. Is it not the case, if you think about it, is not like the most successful iterations of tomorrowland and best tomorrowland attractions are always for the most part sci-fi and alien oriented when you think about the highlights that you know like the alien encounter was great captain eo is great because it's this like adventure and there's weird creatures. Star Tours, obviously. It's almost like that becomes like it. That has to be a facet of tomorrow.

It's not a science museum. It's not. That's not the vibe. Yeah. If everything else was the vibe and you were really learning about American history or learning about animals, that's fine. But you're on a boat where you see like cartoonish hippos shooting water and the guy fires a gun like it's not that's the vibe of disneyland

it's not that like you're gonna go and see something and it's very very educational but but this is like the wild west of what even a third park is. And he does like World's Fairs. So there's probably a part of him thinking maybe it could, because everybody's finding this together. So maybe there could be an educational aspect. And all this stuff is why there stops being that. World's Fairs had plenty of industry sponsors or new inventions and new things from other countries

and that kind of thing. And so he thought highly of that, clearly, as opposed to like traveling carnivals, which he, if it was on fire, he wouldn't piss on it to put it out. He probably lit a lot on fire on the way to Disneyland opening. He flicked a Kent cigarette.

I'm just, I guess merely, maybe when I was looking at all this stuff, I was just upset that he didn't invent three different alien races that were floating around and people in bad costumes, and there were dumb-looking spaceships that the Imagineers of that time made up. That would have been so cool and dumb. If there was really

silly walt future but no it's all it it is dry it is definitely dry but and then now let's try to get into the dry and and and have have some fun with the yes i think we can and here's i'm gonna go in order of when things opened yeah uh. Because this seems sort of tidy. And the one I want to dive into is, this one isn't even the most dry, which probably makes it a good place to start. And that is, and I'm so excited to say the phrase again, the Kaiser Hall of Aluminum fame.

Yeah. This was an opening day attraction. This was on July 17th, 55. And I didn't misspeak. It is the Kaiser hall of aluminum fame. Yeah. It is not the aluminum hall of fame. This came up before on a second gate. One of the ones Jason missed due to COVID where we talked about it because

there was a Kaiser spaceman whose suit was made of aluminum. And he, he walked around to let people know that there was a hall of aluminum fame and that episode uh then becomes about jetpack related kidnapping check it out on the second gate if you haven't heard it but uh uh so that's why this came up before and this odd phrase why does it bother me so much it's just it's just the wrong yeah and like aluminum hall of fame yeah but what is aluminum fame as a concept in and of itself what's aluminum fame no i don't know i don't yeah no it's bad and it's i guess i see why maybe it wasn't just a phrase that was so thrown around

like hall of fame maybe not i don't know but if you do the same thing with like it's the basketball hall of fame it's the hall of basketball fame it just doesn't it's it's not where an adjective wrong but it's not it's not it's not as upsetting because basketball is more exciting than aluminum well that's true yeah so there's no no one is famous because of aluminum well prove me wrong is anyone famous from like did did anybody cover themselves in aluminum and run out in the street or something? Yeah. Who's the most famous person because of aluminum?

Who has aluminum fame? Guy Woodstock, like aluminum man. Was it Woodstock? And we all loved him. And he was kind of a symbol of peace. Like, I don't know. There was a weird little pig guy in this, right? There was a little pig man statue.

Well, he might have the most aluminum fame, I guess. Now, here, to that point of that it's, this is not the driest that early Tomorrowland gets. There is a character, his new IP. His name is Cap. He's Cap, the Kaiser Aluminum Pig. The Aluminum Pig. ip his name is cap he's cap the kaiser aluminum pig the aluminum pig um this of course refers to the fact that aluminum has a pig state and that refers to i stopped paying attention i don't know

why it's a pig state but there is a there is a pig do you have a photo of the pig is that are you you got something on your phone i have no i have to find. Yeah, a lot of this stuff is hard to find. A lot of it is even definitely not like fetishized in the way that a lot of old Disney stuff is. No, not like, like for example, something we will not be talking about in this episode is the Monsanto House of the Future. Right.

Which people do like because of that kooky design. Yeah, yeah. There is fondness for that. Too interesting. Too interesting. Too legitimately interesting. This is the realm of dry today. Yeah. Too wet. kooky design yeah there is fondness for that but that'll be interesting too interesting this is the realm of dry today yeah too wet yeah this is a little pamphlet i was looking at oh i i saw some of this yeah yes um here wait larry let me if you if you there's anything interesting on there there's not but i will read it says uh kuminum Pig is your host as you

visit the panorama of properties of aluminum put him through his paces for aluminum fun they're doing it again aluminum fame aluminum fun there's no such thing as this aluminum fun what's out there I found

a lot I think because they released audio files in some compilation at some point. The other character, the Wishful Knight. The Wishful Knight? Is he wishing that his armor was made out of aluminum? Scott, you hit the nail on the head. Yeah, all right. It's a knight going like, oh, I wish I had aluminum in King Arthur's time.

You don't. Yeah, no, aluminum, a sword is going to go right through. Well, I guess it depends how thick the aluminum is. It depends. It's like aluminum siding, not aluminum foil. I think aluminum a little more flexible. But as I think in the Defunctland, Kevin talks about like, oh, yeah, they also put aluminum. They used it in the building, some of the stuff in the park, and they discovered

that it expands and contracts depending on whether it's hot or cold, so that rocket ship deep in Tomorrowland would make horrible noises. This ghoulish groaning would happen. It's like the aluminum is alive. Neat.

Which means it could also kill you. It can kill you, and it certainly feels pain a lot during the day. They also used aluminum in the bumpers for the original Autopia cars. And because this change was made so late in the game, they did not have time to test the aluminum bumpers. So when they get them out on the Autopia track, which already is chaos because there's no track and kids are ramming into each other,

when they ram into each other, the bumpers are crushed because they are aluminum bumpers. So mere feet away from this glory of aluminum exhibit is a practical application of why aluminum sucks ironically through progress we would get to a point where modern cars now the front of them if you hit something or something crashes it is it crumble it like crunches up really easily as opposed to back then the cars were like very solid you know yeah yeah yes so that's i don't know what are what are what are cars made of now there's a lot of plastic

plastic it's plastic it's not aluminum i'm not i'm not gonna say one word on this i will seem like such a well i'm gonna edit this out so i don't look like a fool so uh yeah this is a this pamphlet has got like it it basically was a walkthrough attraction, and it says your trip through the Kaiser Aluminum Show. And then all these different. I have to go that way? Well, they're suggesting it. It's like the Simpsons box factory where you follow a little line through a bunch of boring stuff.

There's 14 different stations that it mentions here. Well, that's a lot. There's not 14 scenes in a lot of rides that we like. That's true. So maybe all of aluminum fame is good. Four was you would run into the huge aluminum time sphere with Ancient Knight, which is who Jason was just talking about, today's firefighter and spaceman of the future,

telling of advantages of aluminum. So there you go i so it's better to be a hypothetical spaceman than an old knight that's what they're saying now is it possible that a kid in this day and age went through this because there were things aluminum fairly new at the time were there kids who were kind of interested in this or is it as boring to them as it is to us now well the night segment the narration at least has the timber like the audio it sounds like a theme park voice you know but would kids go to school the next day they're like oh my oh my goodness i went to disneyland got to tell you about the top five things I did.

Did any kid say the Hall of Aluminum fame or whatever? No, they talked about seeing an eerie cloth Dumbo with big holes carved out of his face. I saw a horrific Pinocchio, and then I got on the little cars and i ran right into an employee and broke his leg i saw bob cummings high on monkey balls yeah yeah like i just it's so interesting because i yeah i don't you don't hear about this ever and for at this point with disneyland people have poured over everything.

Everything is saved. Every piece of history. That's the whole thing with all of these. I've vaguely seen these. This is us. We know this stuff pretty well. You have to Google search specifically for some of these. It's like you can't even just vaguely search for them.

Yeah. Because, yeah, they've been lost. And some of them, there's like one photo per item. Or if that. Some things I think are not documented in any way. There are 14 different stations and they're not all well documented. Yeah. Which is pretty wild.

There is a, I don't know if this counts as one of the stations, but there was a guest book made of aluminum. Well, most guest book, not this, not the old book binders that you're used to. Tear through every page with the slightest pressure of a pen. And then you, the pig, by the way, you could, you like pushed and pulled buttons that turn cap the Kaiser aluminum pig flat as a pancake, light as a feather, round as a pole, strong

as an ox. What does that mean? You couldn't push a button and make him strong? There's no way whatever this exhibit was. This could not have This list is like eight things that this aluminum pig can do no way no there's no way that like he became like thick and he could withstand like some sort like he couldn't uh uh like take a sword stab all of a sudden when you

made him strong and then when you made him weaker yeah you would puncture the aluminum there's just no like a joust aluminum blood you could yeah you could joust with the pig when he was strong and he would like the joust stick would break yeah how would they have illustrated that by having like a big brawny 50s boxer ram him with his head right yeah right johnson guy right right uh i don't yeah it seems it seems hard to believe and there are there's no video documentation of this. No, no. We don't know what it was. Now, some of that is because it was tougher to preserve these things.

Sure. You know, because we don't know what a lot of these rides, I couldn't really tell you what those early Fantasyland rides looked like originally. Oh, that's true. Sure, sure. But at least as soon as cameras, like home movie cameras, enter the picture, things are starting to get done. I don't think anyone bothered. Nobody used any rolls of film when film was precious.

No, that's true. They're not using it on the aluminum fame. You know, 35 millimeter people taking still photos. So when you end up with some of these exhibits and buildings, you end up with very evocative, like black and white photos, you know? Oh,

they really, really look like old films. Yes. Yeah. Because it looked like touch of evil or something. Yeah. Because old film preserves pretty well. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So if a picture was taken, it's a good picture, but I think, I think every one of these attractions has two photos. Any picture you took is one perfect shot basically on one

of these old walkthroughs. I mean, that's the gist of it, I would say. At the end, you could get a card, and you fill in your name. Let's say Jason Sheridan has been illuminated, spelled been illuminated,

spelled with illuminated, and illuminated by the brightest star in the world of metals. There was a bright star, did we say that? There was a big star. Oh, yeah, yeah. So you've been illuminated by the brightest star at the Kaiser Aluminum Exhibit,

not what it's called, at Disneyland, and is aware of all the benefits pertaining thereto. So this is you signing a legal document. This is you signing a contract. But a fun one, but still legalese. I mean, we have to be formal about this. Please sign this document indicating that you had fun. You were a booster of aluminum from now on.

Yeah, this is... Was there any other land that just had a walkthrough of an ad? It's just a walkthrough, it's an ad, and that's it. I don't think. At least they kind of dress it up. Club Cool has the soda stations. Is it a big coke ad?

You're right. They do something that could be perceived as an attraction yeah there is i guess there are original characters here cap well that's why this is this is one of the best i will say oh that's fair you're right i'm sorry to say maybe if there were more photos we wouldn't be so down on it maybe if there were some photos of the knights and and the pig If it could convince us that Cap was cool. Or cute. But that's an editorial voice right there, that nobody bothered to film Cap. Right, because Cap could be like, again, there could have been a park star of Cap.

No mention of Cap. There could be, oh, we need Cap figurines. We need Cap on the merchandise. Oh, we're bringing cap back cap meet and greet right and i know what you guys are thinking josh tomorrow on stage and there's been a lot of rumors floating around and i'm here to illuminate them the character you've all been asking for someone who you have a lot of affection for. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Murder von Braun. He's back. I have repented and I regret my beliefs at the time. Let's take a selfie. He's repented. He's repented. Yeah.

Well, that's that. From there, I wanted to start with that one because there's a little bit more energy than the other opening day one, which is the Monsanto Hall of Chemistry. Yes. Oh, by the way, wait, one thing I missed just to go backwards slightly. The Hall of Aluminum fame, Kaiser themselves were so unhappy with this. They wanted to break the contract three years early. And Walt still, there still was not anything really figured out for this space. He's like, no, we can't.

One of these things disappears down the road, and it's replaced with just photo standees, and the attraction is called Fun Photos with an F. That is as good as that. So Walt needed these things, or else he's going to have to resort to Fun Photos with an F. That is as good as that. So Walt needed these things or else he's going to have to resort to fun photos. Right. So he pleaded with Kaiser to stay. They did their full term of five years. This has gone in 1960.

The Hall of Chemistry made it a while. A long time. This is an 11-year attraction. 11 years? Wait, which gets you into, if you're at 66, now the Matterhorn is risen. Like, there's, wait, Small World is there? Like, oh my God. Like, what we know is Disneyland

is there, and then the Hall of Chemistry is still there? Still there. Did anyone... Oh, yeah, go ahead. That's why there's, I think, a few more photos, because it lasted longer. Yeah, yeah, true. Made it into the color days a little more. Did anyone find anything that they liked or thought was interesting about the hall of chemistry i i like the chemitron sure that seems like something but past that the chemitron was the chemitron was

this big like um it was like eight tests to eight giant test tubes on kind of a statue type thing that represented the eight most often found properties in nature or something. What was the wording of it? Do you know what I'm talking about? I haven't written it down yet. Common substances, which can be made and combined into almost 500 different Monsanto chemicals and plastics. Here's the things that will kill your world tomorrow. Yeah. So it looks, I guess it looks okay.

I mean, it's a kind of a cool thing. I might have been as a kid. As a kid, I'll say this. I liked test tubes. The idea of test tubes because you'd see like ludwig von drake with a test tube or you'd see some cartoon making a potion sure so i did think test tubes were cool so i as a kid i could see going in there and big test tube big one it's like three feet let's be clear about that this is there they aren't like 20 feet sure. That's a lot of liquid to fill.

You're going to use up a lot of coal, precious coal. Right. You can't put that much coal in there. There's a lot of coal talk here. I'm stealing this copy from whatever website. This might have been Yesterland, but I like this dry. You'll never again think of coal as just a boring sedimentary rock that's combustible after you see this display this will change your view on coal forever it was yes salt sulfur oil coal air

phosphate rock limestone and water okay water so rock rock mom i saw rock in a slightly bigger than usual test tube you know a representation of rock yeah that's true i actually know i think it was actually i saw some like drawings of it and it looks like it was just like oh this one's like blue like it's water and it's just like some like abstract kind of idea of what water is like uh not not aluminum foil but like right plastic wrap yeah this is all like i've talked about in the show before about uh uh going to the jfk health world as a kid which is a little like science kind of museum oh uh near where i grew up and that this stuff compared to what that was, is like that was JFK Health World was like Disneyland compared to this.

Sure. In the sense that they really had not figured out an effective, fun way to try to teach kids something, I feel like. Yeah. I wonder when museums started getting kid-ified. It has to have been post the rise of the Disney. Probably. I would think so.

Yeah. I think we went into like we went into there was a play area at this JFK Health Horn. I believe you went into like a giant man's ear, which I thought was weird, but cool. That's cool. Well, that's like a double. Yeah. We had the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, which is still a big museum, you know,

named after Benjamin Franklin. We also had the Please Touch Museum. What? It's called the Please Touch Museum. And it was a kid's museum. You could pretend to drive like half a city bus. They had like a SEPTA bus, the city bus.

And kids could pretend to drive it? You could pretend to drive the bus. and there was a grocery store section. You would pretend to shop at the grocery store. Oh, interesting. So it's like a Sesame Street-ified museum. It opened in the late 70s. The museum? So what was the learning aspect of it?

Was it to pretend you were an adult or? Yeah, kind of. Did you ever do it? I remember going to the Police Touch Museum, which as a kid I thought was called the Police Touch Museum. And I was like, I guess police made a museum. And that was not the case. But like the Franklin Institute, a little more for little older kids and families and stuff,

and you walk through a room-sized version of the heart. You'd walk through different ventricles and such. Yeah, there you go. Famously, a lot of kids left with souvenir t-shirts that said, please touch really big. Created a lot of disasters out in the world. Bad.

So, if you wanted to go learn about sulfur, you could kind of go here and do that kind of you could see a sort of get a vague suggestion of what it might be i this i like this one's so boring to me it's like i can't believe something was here for and and yet such a hit that monsanto ended up with four attractions all told through the not concurrently because this closes to make room for adventure through inner space.

Like this is on the star tours, the half of it. Um, but then they got house of the future and they also got, uh, Monsanto's fashions and fabrics through the ages, which showed you how chemicals will help us make the clothes of tomorrow even the very historical disney parks blogs are like we're not touching the fashion

fabrics for the ages i i found a nice website i i liked that had some posts about some of this called inventing disneyland and they point out that by the way this... Monsanto had a better reputation. This is before Agent Orange, before the genetically modified food, before incidents that led to the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency. They caused it, really? I think they caused it. When was the DDT, though?

This was around the same time, I think. Well, they must have been developing some of these things at least, but maybe we didn't know. Is that Silent Spring? Is that the book about? Hold on. Just because you brought it up, I want to bring up some stuff that they were working on that never made it to market.

Okay. Oh, God. I don't know if you saw this. Hold on. No. Give me one second here. Uh-huh. So, yeah.

So, there's some really just awful things that this company ended up doing. They were absorbed by Bayer a couple of years ago. Sure. Let me, wait, while you pull that up, here's, I'll juxtapose it with their copy that like, you know, your food, clothing, health, and transportation all depend on chemistry

and the future holds some exciting, wonderful things in store for you, such as. There, hold on on here it is uh uh that the phrase is terminator seeds the seeds of tomorrow genetic use restriction technology colloquial known as terminator technology produces plants with sterile seeds This trait would prevent the spread of those seeds into the wild. It would also prevent farmers from planting seeds they harvest, requiring them to purchase seed for every planting,

allowing the company to enforce its licensing terms via technology. I have heard about that. Yeah, licensing crops. Did this not happen? I think it did happen. Well, this version of their technology did not go to commercial use, but maybe another company has done this. There was a thing where farmers had to fight back against having to buy seeds. Oh, there's a lot of seed stuff lately, and maybe it is similar to this.

You're right. But they said this specific Terminator seeds was never commercialized. But maybe there is a different, somebody else made Terminator seeds, which could not reproduce. Isn't that what Jurassic World Dominion is about? Yeah, but Terminator seeds? Killer seeds? Yeah. There's a funny article.

I found an article in Real Clear Science that's really snide about Monsanto. Oh, Monsanto is the devil incarnate, a ruthless corporation hell-bent upon forcing their unnatural food down our open gullets. The soy and corn they sow are more likely to transmogrify us into imps and sustain us and then they're like oh yeah they may have caused 400 000 deaths in vietnam from its use by the use of chemical warfare agent but they're basically saying like they're just like the company did you or du jour to say like is bad like walmart or mcdonald's because they've done some good stuff too oh i'm like this is what is this article i'm reading they're all over the map. Really all over the map.

So they want to be up front with Monsanto, but they still want to sell some Monsanto ads, you know? In case they sponsor it. I guess. Bayer Aspirin, you know. They buy some banner ads, you know? So, yes. This is before some of their awful human rights violations, the stuff we're talking about.

And they didn't finish the Terminator seeds. And if any other company took that plan and ran with it um and and that company's like you know like the the yin sid seed corporation it's some secret firm of disney that we don't know about yeah um but before yes they were slightly less evil at this time. So Walt gave them four attractions. And they are the most boring things I found out about. So around this time, I'm getting like, okay, we said we're going to do this episode. But Hall of Chemistry is boring. And I'm feeling boxed in.

And then I almost missed this one. And I'm so glad that I found it. Did you guys come across the attraction the dairy bar oh yeah now let's be clear the dairy bar is not the milk stand uh yeah stand is current disneyland okay that's where you buy the star wars milk the dairy bar oh was different okay that's not a dairy bar that's because that milk probably is not dairy no it's all non-dairy i believe okay yeah yeah um so but this of course was dairy because it was the american dairy association dairy bar and we we think that today's attraction titles are convoluted that one does not exactly roll

off the tongue yeah uh so this was a this was a late edition now we we're into 56. This is January 56. It only made it to September 58. This was, one part of it was a big barn, and it said, today's food builds tomorrow's man. Hey, that's not incorrect. That is true. It's a strange phrase,

but it is technically something you could say to your kid who you brought with you. You're tomorrow's man, so eat today's food that's what like when you know lindsey was having some morning sickness and when she was pregnant and she had to eat a lot of mcdonald's fries because that's what it would agree with her and now i say that the baby was built by mcdonald's wow well that website would have some mixed words to say about that. But then where I get excited about this milk attraction is that there's a whole other, the barn is just kind of rustic

and that's where you, it's an opportunity to try tomorrow or today's food. I can try today's food today, milk, here, and also at probably every other location at early Disneyland. Thick, whole milk. Me drinking whole milk? Walt Disney, you've made my dreams come true.

Have both of you had full glasses of milk at Disney ever? Probably, right? Maybe as a child. Because you were milk up until like 20s, right? Until my now wife, right jason you too right i'm sure yeah when i was younger i probably opted for chocolate milk did you have a big glass of like two percent i bet i did when i was in my like it feels so like it feels i know that it hasn't happened but doesn't it feel like something that would have happened and we forgot the story

that four and a half years ago we were there to do something we were there to do the canoes or something and then we watched jason have a full glass of whole milk and then four hours later he's saying oh my stomach and we're like probably the milk right and he's like no no wasn't the milk doesn't that feel very familiar to you i don't know i was trying to do oat milk for a while and that was giving me i think that's still bad for your stomach. Yeah, that's still not great. Any of them. Soy. I used to go to the old country buffet

and I think I would have a glass of milk with the meal. My grandparents would take me out. Just from the name, I don't know what else is going on at the old country buffet. The old country buffet was like a hometown buffet, but better. We were not hometown buffet people. We were old country buffet people was like a hometown buffet but better we were not hometown buffet people we were old country buffet people and we would go every wednesday because my grandmother got a discount nice for being five to ten for being old yes we go to venture on

wednesdays because she got a discount for being old then she wasn't an employee of no country did not work no no but i would get i would load, get a big salad. Then I would load up my plate with macaroni and whatever the carving station had. And I think often I would get a big glass of milk. There would be a milk machine, basically, just like there was a soft drink machine. Oh, so you could kind of customize and mix 2% with whole? I think it was just 2%, but I could be wrong. Well, it's like the bib juice, the beverage in a bag. Yeah, it's milk in a bag.

It's milk in a bag because we would have to, like they had them in the dining halls at college. Milk in a bag? They had the machines that you would pull on milk, fountain milk or whatever. Were you drinking fountain milk in college? Well, for cereal, I'd have to take the cereal bowl over to the milk machine. Okay.

Or half and half. They had half and half in those machines, too, if you want to put it in your coffee. Did you ever drink a big glass of milk in college? Maybe if I was eating a big plate of cookies. Chug, chug, chug. Because you're still doing... Jason's treat treat based fraternity he's got a keg of milk all right you need to chug that whole glass and then eat a hundred

chocolate chips doing a keg stand of milk yeah jason upside down with the the tube in his mouth or whatever however you do that whatever you people that had fun in college, however that works. Milk stands. You're still doing milk and cookies, though. Usually just the cookies. Oh, so you've stopped doing the milk and cookies. Yeah, not so much because usually I like just half and half in my coffee. Okay, so you're doing coffee.

A cup of cream. You're not buying enough milk every week to justify getting a jug. Not a whole glass. When was the last time you had a big glass of milk with your cookies? That's a good question. Less than a year? Oh, I think less than a year. Probably when I was home for Christmas.

Probably a glass of eggnog at one point, a glass of milk at another. Okay, Scott, when was the last time you had a big glass of milk? Years. Yeah. I'd say probably 15 years i bet it's 15 years or more with me unless unless i did cookies at some point but i don't think i did interesting listener chug milk at the next live show when was the last time you had a big glass of milk are you happier for it are you happier than us sure mike and i have our children but

you have you maybe you've had a big glass of milk. Yeah, you're really living it up. That's what makes you warm inside. We should play milk pong. Oh, milk pong? Milk pong. Milk in little red solo cups set up on the table, and that way we don't have to get drunk.

We just get to have fun. That irritating part of beer pong. You just get potassium. Yeah, it's fun to lose then. Then you get strong. You become tomorrow's man faster. I'd be good. A flippy cup with milk? Yes.

I start. You made it flippy cup? You additionally made it two different games. Oh, there's flip cup. Wait, flippy cup. I call it flippy cup. Yeah, I've never heard of flippy cup. Is it just flip cup?

I believe so. Are you thinking of Flappy Bird? I'm always thinking of Flappy Bird. You're always thinking of Flappy Cup. Yeah, I've never heard of Flippy Cup. Is it just Flip Cup? I believe so. Are you thinking Flappy Bird? I'm always thinking of Flappy Bird. You're always thinking of Flappy Bird. I don't know. Maybe I'm misremembering the name of it. But I played both of those games in college once in a while. Hey, dudes, we got to play some Flippy Cup.

Who's down for some Flippy Cup? Flippy Cup and Flip Cup is not so drastically different. It's not so far. It's cuter. The thing I said is cuter. So I added an extra fun Y on it, but perhaps I'm remembering it wrong. You're right because it's cuter. Well, I'm not saying I'm right, but I'm better.

I'm not necessarily right, but I am better. Let's think of it that way. All right. Okay. We're moving to the milk port. Milk port. We're going to the fusion. All right.

Here's the milk port. We're going to the fusion. All right. Here's the milk port. And then under that, it says loading dock for tomorrow's milk man. And this is where we're finally having some fun in kooky old tomorrow land because there's some kids gathering around. And then I'm looking at it like, what's in there? Is that little figures? Is this little maybe animatronics? I don't know if they were animatronics but they were at least you know a diorama figures and uh in one case in one picture there is a milkman of the

future and he is piloting a little presumably milk covered helicopter a futuristic helicopter to deliver but oh wait and i forgot the sign says different L.A. You know, sub cities. So like Pasadena, Westminster, Laguna, Compton. He's going everywhere in Los Angeles. Delivering. Today's milkman is stuck with wheels and stuck on the road and burning gasoline. But tomorrow's milkman takes to the skies.

This is the closest thing to what I wanted, what I said at the top. This is the closest thing that is like, okay, some nonsense future thing that you could see happening. Obviously, we wouldn't. The traditional milkman, much to Jason's chagrin, has gone away. But through this 50s-centric future, we imagine, like, assuredly the future still has milkmen we still have milk delivered to our door we have a sleek futuristic sexy milkman using what using

what we've learned in the war right a lot of the nazis are working on new they're nice now now they're milk deliverers so that's what that's what they've been working on. Who could have a problem with that? So we drop, yes, we still, look, they're bombs and they're bomb shaped, but we drop them softer. Right. And they just land on your soft grass and then a little hatch opens up and that's where your milk is.

Yeah. Who could hate that? We have thousands of decommissioned missiles that we need to use for something. We built them. They don't cost us anything. Why not fill them up with milk? Milk bombs. Well, this is the American Dairy Association.

I mean, the dairy industry gets insane subsidies still in America. Well, then it would all make sense. Tie it together. Can I ask for fan art of Jason in the famous Slim Pickens riding on the bomb picture from Dr. Strange Love? But it's a milk bomb. And it's spraying milk out all over. And people are like waiting and catching it with their glasses. Now, let's be specific about the type of milk.

Because this gets a little weird because if it's soy milk, does that make it a soy bomb? And does this now tie to Bob Dylan's the famous crasher of Bob Dylan's Grammys performance? Oh yeah. If they want to draw two photos, that's fine. Two pictures, that's good. Jason as soy bomb.

But that would have to be a separate photo. Jason interrupting a Bob Dylan performance 25 years ago. Two equally good concepts, but different concepts. Jason asked soy bomb. A lot of soy subsidies, I think, in this country. A lot of soy exports. I think there was something like every now and then they catch a Republican congressperson who's like, oh, your family, quoteunquote family farm gets like insane subsidies while you

rail against government assistance oh gotcha that's probably what soy bomb was so mad about and bob dylan stands up here and doesn't even sing about it yeah i gotta ride around with my shirt off or else no one will know yeah he barely reacted to that. And he's always, in his later years, always reacting so wildly. Yeah. He seems alive all the time. The Jim Halpert of his time. The other thing,

and if you think the milk helicopter is fun, then we go to truly the milkman of the future who is flying around on a jet pack and he is hovering over three plastic clear cubicles each containing a cow so he in through some sort of these are not the filthy farm stalls of today this is the sleek clean farm of the future where the milkman has gone like he's got probably i imagine two sets of like packs on his back one tube he hooks up to the udders gets milk straight out of him loads up then he lights the other ones we have to make sure to write light the right ones those are rockets he flies straight to compton and gives them their milk. Wow. This is such funny nonsense.

I love it. This is probably the stupidest thing at early Disneyland. Yeah. What was stupider than this? Yeah. And again, if you put it in the context of Walt may have thought this was actually coming, it's so much funnier, too, because he's looking at this and he goes, yes, this is how milk will be delivered in the future.

Walt is imagining a future where, like, what's coming down. He's probably working on 101 Dalmatians. And he's like, walk with me. And he's walking from the animation building to his office and talking to the director. And like, well, I don't know. It's a lot of spots to draw. Well, you could use Xerox machines maybe. Mikan's, we have to make sure we hit our... And then he just puts a cup out where a milkman of the future flies by on a jetpack,

deposits milk straight into his cup. Walt, like Bob Dylan, doesn't react whatsoever, and he just keeps... And that's it. So make sure it's got to be ready for Christmas. Takes a sip. Ah, delicious. Doesn't get in the way of his...

He doesn't have to go to the milk machine like Jason at college. Yeah, that's right. He doesn't have to go to the bag. like Jason at college. Yeah, that's right. He doesn't have to go to the bag. Yeah, so he thought this was the future. I do wonder if it comes from like it was a practical concern. He's like, you know, that milkman's never around when you need him. We need to figure that out.

We need to figure out what we're going to do. Like I'm going to make a futuristic utopian city that I'll be the king of and also we will have flying milkman we need to you know and the like the the people mover will go in between the buildings but the monorail just goes into the hub but the milkman flies through the sky and deposits milk from his jetpack wherever he wants i guess he thought this was there's a a chance he thought this was a bit of whimsy here, but nothing else suggests whimsy other than maybe... He probably hated it.

This is not what Tomorrowland's for. Possibly hated it. Tomorrowland's not for fun. Well, you could try milk. That's whimsy, right? You could go to the milk at the exit of the cafe. I don't know what to call it. We still had some

dairy bars where i grew up like ice cream place they had been there forever and called themselves creamery or dairy bar you know i don't think i've ever been to a dairy bar like a branded that oh okay but like we had overwise dairy in the midwest and if you wanted you could pay money and you would get like a milkman essentially that would come out and give you like a bottle. They'd also sell like a fancy glass bottle of milk in the grocery stores around us. I don't know. It's probably still there. Yeah, there's still fancy glass milk that's like three times as much as the Kroger milk.

Right. But you're not drinking the plastic, the microplastics that we all grew up drinking. You reminded me of something. This isn't quite about milk, but it's a little related because it's about ice cream and like a local ice cream factory in Houston, Texas. And I'm going to ask the listeners, because I've had a lot of success with throwing out some vague mystery to listeners that somebody knows. So if you are from Houston or spent any time in Houston,

I want to say that the word blue is in the name of the company. And it was, there was like a, a tour that you could take, which is always my dream of any of these, like, like to have some factory tour. And then with some like specific content that's only available to watch here.

And I swear I was in Houston in probably 2000 and I went on the tour where there was a video where the founder of the Blue Ice Cream Company came back to life or like his ghost appeared so that he could see what his plant has turned into today. Does this make any sense to anyone? I've thought about it forever because like who like we know Walt Disney is, or we know who Henry Ford is, but the swing to have an actor come play the founder of this Houston ice cream factory. I love it. Oh, God. If anybody knows somehow, Houstonites, I give you an assignment. I might be able to help you out with this.

Okay. Is it Blue Bell Ice Cream? Yeah, it's got to be yeah it's gotta be yeah yeah yeah does that logo look familiar i've heard of it yeah news a few years ago for like uh oh was it a listeria outbreak or like something like that well the founder would not like that yeah no yeah did he come back to life and was he horrified what have you done it happened right around you what does this ice cream Cream had a big, they had to scrap a ton of production.

They had to close all the ice cream stores. I remember. Yeah, I feel like Blue Bell had a similar incident. Oh, God. But that has nothing to do with the founder coming back to life. No, but I'm saying I think Blue Bell might be known for being based. So Blue Bell is known for Houston and Listeria. So it's like the Chipotle of ice cream at this point

where it's known more for stomach problems than it is for the taste of their food? Once enough time has passed, I forgot about the Listeria. Well, Brenham, Texas, does that ring a bell? That's one of their factories you can tour. Were you in Brenham, Texas? Houston well enough. Siler, Cuyahoga, Alabamaama that's got to be the right pronunciation yeah

well please let me know if you ever took this tour somehow i've access to this video uh that's just a little little personal wish there i'll try to look myself too so i haven't looked in youtube era um But anyway, delightful. Great. Love this. And I'm going to move to something that it does not seem like this exhibit was very fun. But I think there's fun things to talk about with it. And that is March 1956 opens the Dutch boy color gallery. So what this seems to be is like lights that have colors and you can like yeah make color matches i don't know it sounds so bad but what is notable about this is that this is sponsored by dutch boy

this is a brand that is still around today but they have shifted their brand for today's purposes because at the time they were primarily known for producing lead paint. Yes. Which we now know causes all kinds of environmental damage. Monsanto-esque. So, yeah, from 56 to 63, Disneyland had a big ad for lead paint. Yeah, of course. Of course they did.

And all the paint was lead they were using oh that's probably true well i i imagine they used it everywhere in the park that was part of that you got to lose use our aluminum yeah use our lead paint we might still we might all be getting sick from disneyland lead paint oh it's got to be baked in there somewhere in this somewhere in disneyland there's still lead paint. 100% there is. I mean, we hear about little things all the time where it's like, oh, they didn't clean this thing for 40 years, and now there's an issue. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

They don't let these stories leak. Some stories. Like Bluebell and their Listeria. Yeah, there's stories we hear. But yeah, no. So there's got to be one whole building that's full of lead paint. They forgot to get rid of it. And we've just been going in there and eating for for decades look hey mommy look i'm gonna lick the wall yep that's

well that's right disneyland's like willie wonka's factory you can lick every wall we've licked all the walls at disneyland and that's that's what the final four is going to be about best tasting wall is it look is there a higher percentage chance you're going to get Legionnaire's disease? Yes. But still, there's got to be lead paint somewhere. Another fine Philadelphia invention. Legionnaire's disease. Oh, that is not bad.

A discovery. Jason takes pride in Legionnaire's disease. At this point, let me talk for a second about Dutch Boy. I can't tell if I've found my new favorite character or least favorite character. Dutch Boy is still around, but if you haven't seen Dutch Boy, Dutch Boy is, he's got like a big, he's got overalls. He's got a big floppy, fiable kind of hat, and he has very severe blonde bangs. He has Sia's hair, basically.

He's got a Sia wig. Yeah, he does. Uh-huh. And it's very Euro, well, Dutch, I guess. That's what it is. And it's cut right at the cheeks, just the sharpest. You would slice your fingers on his hair. His hair reminds me of, and it's not the same

color and he's not bald but it reminds me of a guy i was recently talking about cookie from the bozo show and this is cookie uh oh yeah he has very like straight hair he's bald on the top so he looks kind of like hulk hogan um but ends the hair does not fade yeah over it looks yeah it looks like almost fake uh and and yeah so dutch boy looks like that and he is i i know what you're saying it's like do i love dutch boy or am i a little afraid dutch boy often is rendered in this in that kind of like 50s eerie style of painting that's like old Santa Claus ads. And I'm not scared by those.

But yeah, Norman Rockwell is a good one. Yeah, yeah. But I guess, I mean, Dutch Boy might kind of feed into my discomfort with like Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan. There's kind of like a frozen chipperness. Yeah. I'm happy. And it's like, I'm happy.

Like, I'm just insisting that I'm happy. Look at the smile I'm making. Yeah. Yeah. How could this be insincere? Jason, what do you think about Dutch Boy? I mean, yeah, he's kind of cute. When you were growing up around this time in the 1950s, would you

have been friends with Dutch Boy? Yeah. There's a lot of Pennsylvania Dutch drawings of people or drawings of the Amish, you know, and I feel like they look like the little Dutch boy. Yeah. I mean, Dutch boy does. Probably was friends with a Dutch boy. Yeah. The Dutch boy definitely looks like he's adjacent to Little Rascals or our gang.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If they had a, if a European friend moved in and joined the, RIP Robert Blake, by the way. I'll say, the Oscars didn't say it, but we'll say it. They didn't say it, yeah. But where I'm looking at Dutch Boy currently

is from, you know, in addition to sponsoring this lead paint exhibit, they also had a coloring book, the Dutch Boy Disneyland coloring book. So here is Dutch Boy painting the castle. Oh, yeah, that's great. Bright pink. And then there's moments in this. Look, I don't usually enjoy the, okay, the meaning of this word has changed

and there was a different meaning in the past. But when you don't expect to see this page where it says, ice cream from a gay push cart, it jumps out at you. Sure. It's very strange. And then you got... Well, hold on a second. Even if we're using gay as happy, why is a push cart being described as happy? Yeah, the cart, maybe the man is and then

also why is the man covered up by this umbrella in this weird it's like covering half of his head it's very poor composition well certainly it's a poor composition yeah they didn't take a lot of care in this coloring book um yeah it's a strange adjective for a push much like aluminum fame um and then you go so he like kind of looks at a couple things at Disneyland, but then keeps moving to the real Disneyland. Here is Dutch Boy's special show, and he's at his own color gallery. And then it illustrates the kind of thing you can do in the color gallery. Dutch Boy dials his color charts, and then he's got like wheel. He's so happy to be turning wheels that say sandalwood and bottle green. I hate your exact.

I hate your color shirt. Dutch boy. And then I can answer the why the car was a gay ice cream cart. The gay 90s is an American nostalgic term and a periodization of the history of the united states referring to the decade of the 1890s and that's main street and that's kind of yeah oh so it's an era specific era there used to be there's an old there's a bunch of old black and white photos of burbank and um there's a photo and you can see the Blue Room like a long time bar in Burbank. The Blue Room Neon sign is exactly the same

but the bar two doors or three doors down was called the Gay 90s. Okay. But that's gone. That bar's long gone. Yeah, that bar's changed names a lot of times. Too bad. Well, the adults Dutch boy would have been

bitterly drinking there. Yeah. Still today. Grown, grizzled Dutch boy. Dutch man. Dutch man. Things were so much happier when I was Dutch boy. Dutch grandpa.

Things seemed so simple then. Anyway, this just got me down this rabbit hole. Then I'm doing Google images. Google image searching of other dutch boy media and that is where i start finding dutch boy books from the 1920s yeah there's so much dutch boy content if you look find some yeah you're big you go go ahead well here's the one The one that I found is called the Dutch boy's lead party. Yeah. And here's Dutch boy, and he's got his open can.

Dutch boy's like kind of a Johnny Appleseed, you know, but instead of spreading apple seeds, he spreads lead paint everywhere with a huge smile, severe hair, giant smile, and a bucket full of lead paint and he is facing a battalion of products with with lead in them uh like a big light bulb and a plate and a shoe they're massive and they're done this is again we're now we're in the 20s so this is that eerie kind of efteling yeah lewis carroll kind of like it's these are very unsettling creatures in general uh and then here's all right uh okay so he's talking to this this uh light bulb um and again this work they use this is like a motif of uh of dutch boy the first one at the party was gay electric light.

He said, I'm very brilliant. I always shine at night. Which gives the light much brighter because it's made with lead. So he's meeting all these things, telling him the benefits of lead. Forming this lead party. And then, oh god, a pair of rubbers, it says.

Which are shoes. A pair of rubbers entered it says, which are shoes. A pair of rubbers entered and took the Dutch boy's arm. We're tough and strong and lively because in us there's lead. This sounds like somebody made a fake one. Yeah, maybe. That's what I was going through some of these and I go, are these fake? Because they mentioned lead so much. It feels like some sort of perverse parody.

Like, this could only come from an era where we know that lead paint is bad. Yeah, but I guess... Why else would they say lead... Like, it's not just that we've changed what we make paint out of. They are so proud of the lead. Yeah. Dutch Boy only wants friends with lead in them. Yes. And if you don't have lead in you, he's going to put some lead in you.

Right. That meant something different back then. It was totally fine at the time. It meant happiness. For a young, pale boy to say he wants to put lead in you. Yeah, that made, making you smile, making smiles come into your body. That's, I was terrified in elementary school because I knew, they taught us that the pencils have graphite in them nowadays.

But like the clicky Bic pencils, everyone always called lead pencils. Yes. And I'm like, I'm going to touch that lead and I'm going to die. You're afraid of the lead pencil. And I'm sure it wasn't actual like, you know, full strength, full power lead or whatever. Yeah. I don't know. You were talking about the mechanical pencils?

Yeah, mechanical. That was the word. I think it ended up being like graphite. Yeah, probably. I don't know the you were jumping the mechanical pencils yeah mechanical that was the word i think it ended up being like graph fighters yeah probably yeah i don't think it was led but the shorthand everyone just said oh like yeah we said it too yeah um but yeah once we learned that was bad he also he calls this specifically dutch boy pure white lid yeah i unsettling phraseology throughout all a lot of this stuff is like on ebay you can get these ads and it's yeah they look fake a product like this one just says at the end

a product of national lead national lead that was the parent company Dutch boy does it best and the best is less expensive in the long run and he's got this like crazy smile on his face oh I don't like that Dutch boy. Get that Dutch boy away from me.

He's slowly getting lead poisoning through the ass. This is how I looked two years ago? What do you mean? Yeah, lead. Lead's good for my skin. I get only more pure white by the year. I drink a big

glass of lead each morning. A big glass of lead. Stir the lead into my milk. I can paint my house with it, and then I can clean out my intestines with it, too. I wait for the lead man to fly by, pour some lead on me. Pure white, of course, my favorite kind.

The lead man's having an affair with my mother. And I welcome it. And I welcome it. And I like it. I hate my dad. My dad don't believe in the lead. My dad doesn't care for lead at all. What a fool. My dad uses oil paints.

He's a coward. The lead man brings my mother some lead every day. I wish my dad would drink some of the oil paint and end it all. He doesn't deserve to live because he don't know about lead. I'm the Dutch boy. This is, Mike, because you mentioned microplastics, this is reminding me of a meme I saw recently. That's the Spider-Men pointing at each other,

and it's three of them, and it says, my grandfather, lead, my my father asbestos me micro plastic and it's just like oh every generation has been poisoned with that's right different things uh uh all things found in disneyland oh yeah

um the other the other one that i found i'm sorry like i'm not gonna go into all of them but there's a lot of dutch boy books another one is called the land of sad houses and there's a lot of Dutch boy books. Another one is called The Land of Sad Houses. There are a bunch of houses that all have human legs that are clad in slacks. Slack legs. And then loafers. And Dutch boys going through the land of sad houses and fixing them by caking them in lead.

And again, every page. Hurrah! The old house cried, tis new. Dutch boy white lead has made me new. Here he has, here there's a set of stairs, and the stairs are all set. These are ghosts. These are ghosts trapped

in stairs, and the like, whatever, the staircase knob, whatever you call that the banister oh banister the whole thing is um yeah all like moaning like hellions like they're trapped spirits are trapped in these stairs save me and lead please it's the only way to cleanse my spirit. Only lead can get me out of hell. Hell would be more... I was going to say, hell would be better than this stair limbo. Dutch boy, go find a gun

and fire it into each of our stair faces. Split us out of our misery. Oh, they say we look so old we're nearly dead I'll make you new the Dutch boy said and then he paints them and Dutch boy led they look just right and then they're so much scarier when

they're smiling it's worse he makes everything worse in the land of sad houses I met a bungalow who's crying big, thick tears. I'll make you new with my white lid. You just need my white lid. Put me full of your white lead dutch boy

oh man i guess i don't i do like the dutch boy but i don't like him too i have one more the most the maybe the most sadistic thing that i found is that there's one where he goes through like mother goose and and famous stories. Oh yeah, I think I saw that one. Did you see this one? Yeah, yeah. In this one, so he sees Little Red Riding Hood and she's running. And what are you running from? Oh, there's a wolf after me.

Oh, I'll spoil his game, says Dutch Boy. And then he gets his bucket that is clearly labeled Dutch Boy White Lead and he traps the wolf's head in it. The old wolf growled and growled and pawed and pawed, but couldn't get it off. So he suffocates a wolf. Choke on my lead.

Choke on my lead and die. You want to eat the red riding hood? Eat this. The wolf stopped moving. His body is still there, but he was gone. He was gone. Hey, Little Red Riding Hood, want to go kick his corpse? Let's dump lead on the part that didn't have lead yet. We're eating wolf for dinner. With my favorite sauce, lead.

White lead. A white lead sauce on the side. There's no better glaze than white lead. We sauteed a wolf in white lead for eight hours. It brings out the flavor. This is what now I, there's a couple types of food that I would like in the cafeteria.

I'd like, of course, my favorite chili, and I would like wolf sauteed in white lead paint. Talk to the Dutch boy people. Get them moving on that. Okay, Denison's chili, Dutch boy, wolf lead paint. Got it. I'd like to call a second gate shot for Dutch boy at this point. I think there's enough momentum to find more Dutch boy content.

And if you want to hear more Dutch boy, you're going to have to pay us. That's what I feel. Seems like he earned it. I was, boy, love Dutch boy. Do we want to do we do Bathroom of Tomorrow? You mean as opposed

to not doing it or peeling it off for later? I don't have a ton about it It's not a ton Bathroom of Tomorrow joins in April 1956 I throw that By the way, what a way to introduce it What do we think about Bathroom of Tomorrow? They had something called the Bathroom of Tomorrow

Which has been suggested on Club 3 So let's talk about it here a little bit I have never sent an email or a text faster of like that one. Bathroom. Bathroom of tomorrow. I won it. Did not win. Did not win, but that's okay. It didn't win, but

with that said, what are some of your favorite facts about the bathroom of tomorrow? Well, the opening ceremony. Well, yeah. Please, let's talk about that. Yeah, I got it right here. Walt was involved in this opening ceremony. Well, yeah. Please, let's talk about that. Yeah, I got it right here. Walt was involved in this opening ceremony himself along with Crane Company. Mr. Crane.

President Frank F. Elliott. And then the designer, I think, of the exhibit, his last name was Dreyfus. Who was a major designer of the yes of the 40s and 50s on like a revolutionized design in a lot of ways that weren't ultimately that funny or interesting to talk about but a made a major 20th century design and Walt Disney and Walt Disney did not open every ride no right not by a long shot but he's there for the crane bathroom of tomorrow. For the ceremonial valve turning ceremony. They didn't cut a ribbon.

They turned on a toilet valve, essentially. Turn on the water for the toilet and the shower. Mr. Elliott, Mr. Elliott, turn that valve. So there's three men all turning, not real valves, I don't think. I believe they're ceremonial valves. I think they're ceremonial valves. They weren't actually like valves that would turn on and off water. Well, I don't know because they're in the spot where ultimately there were five valves outside the exhibit,

which I think these did work. I think that children could turn. This is like a water feature. Children could turn the valves. Oh like a water feature children can turn the valves oh so that is those are the valves they were turning i mean i'm not sure but they're in the spot where okay so it could have been ceremonial valves but they but ultimately real valves were installed this is where we need jim hill and lentesta to step in and figure out did walt and company turn the real water valves? Were they actually

affecting water pressure? And that's what you just said is the title of the episode. Yes, that is right. Yeah, come on fam, it's toilet time. Toilet. Jim and Lenny talk about, we talk about toilets a lot on this show and Jim and Lenny talk more about toilets. That's what we can bring to the table

when the collaboration happens or if the collaboration has happened. I don't know by now. We'll see. We'll see. The funny, fun post about this on the Walt Disney Family Museum website. A place I've been to I think was really neat. And I think is surprisingly more frank about Walt and his company and his contributions and stuff more more than the walt

disney company is well sure um but they they mentioned that guests could enjoy quote a dramatic story of valves and a lot of it was like these these are actually, you know, we were talking about this guy, big designer, kind of thoughtfully designed, like museum placards and panels, a lot of water drops. Well, when they say dramatic story of valves, what they mean is it's a story that's laid out into big teardrops. What's more dramatic than a big teardrop? No, so this timeline that is labeled the story of flow control. Yes, that's a great graphic or whatever you call it. To be clear, the water that is flowing is blue, not yellow. This is not about a human being's flow control.

Something that we'll all have our struggles with as the years go by. Well, you see hints of it already. You're a man in your 30s. Yeah. I'll be honest. Amen, brother. We're not perfect down there anymore. Yeah, your 30s. Yeah. I'll be honest. Amen, brother. We're not perfect down there anymore. Yeah, we're not.

Yeah. I'm doing all right, I've got to say. I'm going to take this opportunity to brag. I'm my flow control. I think that's great. I think that I'm not having a big problem, but, you know, there's a little thing. Well, it's a little drama. It's not airtight anymore.

You start reading about cranberry extract capsules, you know? This is when you guys are, because you guys are drinking Icy's and eating Pop Rocks every day. They're all calcifying at the beginning of your flow. You think my flow is being affected by the amount of Icy's I'm drinking? Yeah. Hardened Icy's is all preventing that. It's all flow blockage. My flow is fine.

I'm just saying you go to the doctor and you go, there's a little, you know, sometimes it's all flow blockage. My flow is fine. I'm just saying you go to the doctor and you go, there's a little, you know, sometimes it's not airtight and sometimes a little it comes out afterward

and they go, yeah, it's fine. It's what happens. You know, my flow is fine and it's not because of the sugar intake. That's what I'm saying

and I'm mad about it. I'm mad about the inference. If any backseat doctors are listening, you know, I don't claim to be a doctor. That was just one guess. All right, fine. Maybe you're right. Maybe it'll come out. We didn't know about the inference. If any backseat doctors are listening, I don't claim to be a doctor. That was just one guess. All right, fine.

Maybe you're right. Maybe it'll come out. We didn't know about lead paint. Maybe we don't know about ICs and what they're doing to a man's flow. When you drink ICs for decades and your cocktails are essentially ICs as well. I don't drink milk for dinner anymore, but I do drink an IC for each dinner. I have an IC per meal. Oh, you got one of those machines that for each dinner. I have an Icy per meal. Oh, you got one of those machines

that you would see. I have a machine. You get suggested on the Instagram ads of like, oh, look, check out Bed, Bath & Beyond. You can get a little Icy machine. That's right. I bring that Snoopy snow cone maker with me everywhere I go in case I need to do something like I don't have access to an Icy. I bring the whole dog house. You know

what I'm talking about. You mean like if you're going camping or something? Yes. If you need icy stat on the road. Yeah, I'd bring the Snoopy snow cone maker, which doesn't work very well, but it works. Shit, a bear got into the icy machine. We never should have gone camping with the icy machine. We had that Snoopy snow cone maker and I was so excited when we got it. And then we made the snow cones

and I was like, this does not taste as good as an icy. You said that Snoopy snow cone maker. Oh, you guys know what I'm talking about? No. I kind of faintly remember. Maybe this is insane. Did you get this when you were 10

or when you were like 28? When I was 10. Okay. Here, it's a pretty... Look, I thought it was a fairly iconic uh item but it's it's uh it's like snoopy's it's like a dog house and you would put the ice in it and then it would like you would crush it up you there's like a little um like a thing on snoopy's head or this is the new there's actually a newer version of it too um and i think it's basically the same as it

was when i was little so yeah you would grind it up manually, essentially, and make like shaved ice and then add coloring to it. But it sucked probably. Well, versus an icy, which was much more integrated as far as the flavor and the ice. Sure. Because a snow cone was fun. It was fun to get it and see it. It looked cool. But a lot of the flavor that would run down to the bottom of that little like

paper sleeve or whatever you would call it and you wouldn't get you'd all of a sudden just be getting mouths full of ice with no flavor not not even distribution not exactly i see so i dream that icies have made possible yes the technology finally caught up uh with snow cones and the icy people figured it out this is the futurism that Walt dreamed of. Even distribution. We can all dream of a better world. That's right. God bless the scientists. Our friends at Monsanto. God bless the Nazi scientists who created

ice. That's what I have to say. The Snoopy snow cone machine from Nazi scientists. The icy polar bear actually evacuated in Operation Paper. We captured him. He's on our side now. Yeah, the icy polar bear actually evacuated in Operation Paperclip. We captured him.

He's on our side note. What else in this thing? Oh, well, everything was a certain color, which was like a yellow. Beautiful gold. Beautiful urine gold. Gold, like it looks in some photos, it does look like Trump's apartment in New York. Yeah. In some places, I felt like it was described less as gold and more like just like a weird yellow. Bright yellow.

Bright yellow. Which a lot, not most bathroom. It has not become the standard bathroom style. No. It looks awful. Yeah. In the photos that exist but i think the i think crane's deal was getting a little experimental because i found the end of one of these articles the

discussion of uh or this this is an ad from this era from 1957 i think um and here's a crane bathroom ad and the the toilet is bright turquoise it is the it's exactly the color of cherry from oh yeah playhouse and the same it's like cherry but without cherry's top half cherry got sliced yeah on the bottom of cherry and then but then also next to it, the toilet paper is the same color. Oh, yeah. Bright turquoise toilet paper. And then under that, very red shag carpeting. The color of turning red. Yeah.

This is an insane bathroom. Colored toilets go in and out of fashion. And I think Kohler, I had gotten some ads for like the limited run like hunter green toilets like it recently oh so they like throwback designs all of this comes back around and throwback designs colored toilet paper i do remember like blue or pink toilet paper occasionally growing up really just just what was i don't know. Just what was in stock. I don't remember that. Someone just buying. Not like a grandma's house thing? That's where I-

Could have been a grandma's house sort of thing. But did you have, did anybody have carpeting in their bathroom? Yes. You did? All of them. Wow. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's interesting. And then kind of quickly removed when like something would flood or overflow. And it's like, well, let's get this out of here because this is a pain in the ass. And it's catching anything that falls. Yes, exactly. And if you're a man in your 30s and sometimes stuff flies. Well, stuff, you know. It's getting some flow in that shag.

Right. And maybe not a perfect flow and the aim isn't as precise. Yeah, you're going to get some pee in that carpeting. It is a crazy thing to do. I'm so glad you aren't soaking red shag in your late droplets. It's not a big problem. But look, a lot of other men in their 30s know what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about.

Jason knows what I'm talking about. I mean, couldn't this be from food? Couldn't this be from that bottle of Captain Crunch Blue Mabel syrup I bought? No, Jason's thinking like me now. food called goodness me from that bottle of captain crunch blue maple syrup from the uh pandora flakes that after finishing polishing off two boxes i realized you know i think i got a headache every time that's what i'm saying that's what i don't chase it's always right in front of you what's causing the extreme health is there a blue dye just destroying Mike and my urethra? Scott's perfect urethra is just because he didn't have as much blue dye.

Well, you said it, not me. You know, you can't make up your own poll quote for the movie poster, but a perfect urethra, says Mike Carlson of Podcast The Ride. I'm going to look into urethral rejuvenation, and I'm going to figure out a way to reverse our urethra aging that has been caused by the different dyes in the foods we normally, regularly eat. After careful research, you discover that the most common cause is the sands of time. Sands of time.

No way to remove that from food. i don't want to hear that i'm seeing the phrase reconstruction but not re not rejuvenation that seems to be mainly vaginal vaginal thing yeah i was curious if if uh urethral rejuvenation is a thing no one can tighten up my urethra is what you're saying that so but then that was not covered in the bathroom of tomorrow you think there was not no the the dramatic display did not discuss urethral rejuvenation it's a lot about uh quote tomorrow's bathroom incorporates the type of heating and cooling which will make you forget the weather uh-huh so i just i just spend the entire summer in my cold bathroom yeah i don't even know what's going on outside that's like yeah like a heated bathroom they have heated toilet

seats at this like that's something that people still have like that's heater in the fan you can make the fan blow hot air place i feel like most bathrooms have some sort of a heater thing still yeah if you want to turn that on it's usually like dusty if you're in an old house or apartment you probably go in there and clean that thing but yeah uh the heated toilet seat i don't i don't think that's i don't need that what did you not do that in japan well oh i don't know that i realized it was heated i know the bidet situation of course oh you were into the heated thing yeah oh really oh it feels great yeah i guess it was a little chilly i wasn't i was in tokyo just i remember a really solid you sat on a heated toilet seat

in tokyo disney in tokyo disney i guess i managed to not talk about that in my trip report my gosh um i feel like a really good one that might have been built into the big volcano. Really? Mount Prometheus, I believe, has heated toilets. You? Attributes. Because it's about the ingenuity of H.G. Wells and Jules Verne. And even they couldn't dream of the comforts of a heated toilet.

Scott took a shit at Mount Prometheus. Wow, how did we not talk about this on the episode how did we not how was that not something I wanted to well I didn't want to you know just in case anyone wasn't comfortable with their erythrolob I'm so tired and punchy right now I'm trying to think of where did I

shit in Tokyo Disney I had to have done it somewhere because we were in the park for we were there for again three and a half days but this I liked this episode until the last until until the last 45 minutes. The last minute is about the bathroom. I was the first hour. I was like, oh, this is one of our more like scholarly episodes. Bathroom of the Future and Dutch Boy really derailed that.

Here, this is cleaner because it's about laundry. The exhibit is from the Disney Family Museum site again. The exhibit was also home to a laundry of the future, which according to Crane, quote, only hints at possible attractive settings for the home laundry

with Crane material. Attractive settings. So your laundry will be much more attractive in the future. Okay. Our dryers will tear up your clothes, exposing nipples and butts the next time you wear the clothes. That was scintillating. There are like Wi-Fi washer and dryer now

where you can start the cycle on your phone and it's completely superfluous. Don't need to do it. Oh, yeah. You can't load it with... It's really weird. Buttons are fine. Yeah.

So there are weird future washer and dryers that exist now, but it doesn't make any sense. It's also where all the Quibi shows ended up. You watch them on certain... Right. I forget the brand. Frigizor dryers. Yeah, yeah. So they got a second life.

As Katzenberg said, you can use them after you can repurpose them. That's true. Yeah, just head to your dryer. Roku, one of the companies affected. A lot of Quibi stuff landed on Roku. That's right. Their payroll affected by the Silicon Valley bank crash. They seem to have lost a lot of money.

Yeah. What does this mean for future recovered Quibbies? I think it's been resolved. I think the government has stepped in. One collapsing company has heard another formerly collapsed company. The government should have bailed out Quibby. That's what I think. Wait, that all happened within Trump, right?

Yeah. That's Quibby, yeah. Well, Katzenberg's such a lib, you know? Like, he was never going to... Biden would have... Come on. We need our horizontal work. We got to be able to...

It's turnstile. Come on. Flip both ways. Come on. Judge Teagan. Come on. She's going to rule. It's Chrissy's court.

Golden arm. She's got that golden arm's going to rule. It's Chrissy's court. Golden arm. She's got that golden arm. Hard to lift. She's upset about the golden arm. We can't have her losing her job, too. We create jobs. Whether you have a golden arm or a regular arm. She can't do her stand-up gigs.

She can't do her stand-up. The clubs are closed. This is all during the State of the Union. I'm going to give a golden arm to everybody in this country boo boo Marjorie Taylor Green shouted in

protest anti-quibi protest of Biden's golden arm program Supreme Court strikes down golden arm initiative as unconstitutional. Remember when that was a news story for like weeks that some guy yelled, you lie at Obama. And now it's just a scream fest at the state of the union. Now everyone's screaming the whole time.

It's like British parliament now. Yeah. It's just my chaos they get stuff that's true they get that was fun to watch in high school when they were like oh you they would show us you know recording like you gotta watch a british parliament on c-span that's fun that's real yeah that's good stuff better costumes too much better yeah they should i want i i want i i would shut up about marjorie Taylor Greene if she would wear like a Dutch boy wig. Oh, my gosh.

Everybody. That probably will be your hair at some point. Sure. She has the cap, too. Deal with it. I asked for the Dutch boy. Deal with it. So you could look at a bidet in this exhibit, by the way.

A gold-plated bidet. Yeah. So that was the future. You could go to Disneyland, look behind a pane of glass. You couldn't use the bathroom of tomorrow. Right, which is a big mistake. Let's be clear. Only in Mount Prometheus years later could you use an innovative bathroom. Well, they say nothing gets lost in Imagineering.

They always go back and use everything eventually. I think crane fixture is eventually used in the Disneyland hotel right across the parking lot. But is there a bidet on property in American soil at a Disney park? I don't know. Again, Jim and Len,

can you get a spray of water after you go to the bathroom anywhere in any hotel? Maybe a suite? maybe like one of the high end suites or those like on the water Polynesian rooms or something that are very expensive

yeah yeah DVC DVC gets the days Grand Floridian suites can you get a little spray after you go that's my question what's by Golden Oaks is Is it a Four Seasons? Oh, but that doesn't count. I feel like I'm looking for Disney

Imagineered bidets. Or approved, at least. Not they created it. You want to know that Disney's touch was put into this bidet. Now, if Joe Rohde could write ten paragraphs on the majesty of a bidet, I would like to see that but i don't

believe there was one in animal kingdom and i don't think there's maybe there is an animal kingdom lodge i'm not sure of the animals i'll get that was part of the deal with like we're not we're gonna the conditions are gonna be great for these animals they're gonna have plenty of room to roam and they will each have a personalized bidet with their name on it. Every elephant, every monkey. It's not just a human spraying a hose at their asshole. It's not that. It's actually a sophisticated thing. It's funny to imagine coming out of these exhibits

and like, okay, kids, we can do a ride, okay? We can go on one of the boats in the brownest water you've ever seen. God, I didn't see that one. That's terrible. And then it's surrounded by just brown dirt, too. Yeah. This is where the lagoon, this is where the submarine voyage would go. And that's Autopia in the background.

Yeah. Yeah. This is the tomorrow there's not a ton of history about this that's the Tomorrowland boats they were called then they malfunctioned they were not very workable and then they took them back gave

them fins called them the phantom boats brought them back out they exploded all the time and then so they it started requiring like a chauffeur. Like you had to have a guy, an employee on the boat with you, which did not prevent explosions. It just made it so you could get back easy, not be stranded on the little pile of dirt within the dirty water. Yeah, I think there might have been some crashing stories as well.

It's like the boathouse where you got to get that guy in the captain's outfit to drive you in Orlando. Yeah, well that's a fancy vehicle, just like the Phantom Boats. And this has the distinction of being the first Disneyland ride ever closed. This didn't make it past 56, I don't believe. So one more

blight on Tomorrowland. All of this stuff gone, some stragglers, some made it to 63, 66. The main thing that starts wiping this stuff out and gets us to the Tomorrowland that we know, 59 is finally the first of the many big, alright, here's a bunch of new stuff

for Tomorrowland, which was pretty significant because it's monorail, it's submarines, and it's Matterhorn, which is sort of shares a border with Fantasyland. So, 59 kind of wipes out this Tomorrowland. Anything that we miss about it? Is there anything we'd like to come back?

You know, you went to your 80s night and your totally mini. If they did totally 56, superbly 56, would you be happy to see anything from this era? All the characters, the future dairyman, the aluminum pig, the aluminum knight, all that stuff, they could just throw it all in a room for a photo op. I would be thrilled to see that.

The big gold bidet. Yeah, after they degaussed this. After they degaussed it of the lead paint and asbestos on these statues. I mean, a walk around Dutch boy. Yeah. If we could see that. I mean, they didn't have that back in the day, but just as a tribute.

Can we take a selfie? Yeah, of course. And I don't know if this is too much to ask. Could you film me with lead? Could you film me with your white lead? I can never say no to that. All right, close your eyes. Here comes my white leg.

Jesus Christ. All right, I'm closing it out. You survived the podcast, the ride. I would love, I mean, this is the nichiest of niche, but I'd love to see all my friends from Tomorrowland 56 when Tomorrowland was weird. Fun to talk about, but doesn't it tell you? It was a land that was always playing catch up. Yeah.

It's staggered. The other lands had the magic and the tentpole attractions already. Here we didn't have, you know, it's a big dirty lake that still we're not happy with, and that's still what we're eyeing is the expansion zone that might be the key to fixing Tomorrowland. We're going to keep diving in. I'm not sure where to head after this, but a ton of Tomorrowland stuff to talk about.

But I'm glad we went back to the literally dirty beginnings. Yeah, I mean, the stuff that makes pack mules seem thrilling. Yeah. Pack mules and stagecoach rides. It's like, yeah, this is the most popular thing at the movie house on the black and white TV. I forgive the mules for stopping and stranding me and getting me muddy because Disney didn't build them.

No. God did that. They should have just covered. They should have bought a bunch of different mules, covered them in aluminum foil and called them like future mules. The future mules. And have the same exact ride only with just like big flats, like aluminum flats that would like look shiny. Oh, that's great. And then like put some, you know, don't restrict's great. Don't restrict their breathing.

Don't restrict their breathing. But maybe put some weird tube on their mouth so that they're like, is filtered in like a Darth Vader kind of. Yeah, exactly. That would have gone a long way to dressing this area up.

And in hindsight. Double the mules would have fixed the whole thing. If we had a time machine, go back in time, we would not kill Hitler because we wouldn't have gotten these great scientists. That's right. We ultimately need it for this for Disney's scientists.

And then secondly, we would have given Walt a mute future mule idea. Cause that's really where it all went wrong is not doing that. Just go whisper that in his sleep, sneak into his Holmby Hills mansion, like Marty and back to the future. Because that's really where it all went wrong, is not doing that. Just go whisper that in his sleep. Sneak into his Holmby Hills mansion like Marty in Back to the Future. Future Mule. Yeah, dressed like that.

It's the same year. Yeah, it's perfect. I am Darth Vader. I have an idea for you. To save your land. News out of Anaheim today. Walt Disney's Disney Land continues its growing pains as the future mules have all passed after a mere day and a half of operation. Some sort of strange breathing tube was strapped to their mouths.

Southern California heat wave continues unabated. Let me speak for everyone in the state when I say we forgive you, Walt, for this horrible tragedy. Hey, for three bonus episodes, check out Podcast The Ride The Second Gate or get one more bonus episode on our VIP tier Club 3. You'll find all of that at patreon.com slash podcasttheride. Hey, and with the most obscure Tomorrowland thing you could do, you want more Tomorrowland? Is this something we haven't gotten to? Or you want more Dutch Boy? Let us know there. They want more Dutch land something we haven't gotten to or you want more Dutch boy let us know

there they want more Dutch boy that's the place for episodes of the future we don't want we want to hear about not the house of the future not the cool looking one we want to hear about the one that ran on Microsoft XP from the

2000s from the early 2010s. Oh, yeah, that's a whole episode. Seems like something we'd do. Yep. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Mike Carlson,

Jason Sheridan, Scott Gairdner, Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.