Podcast: The Ride - ??? with Jeff Garlin

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Goldbergs) returns for a freewheeling conversation about why he loves Disneyland, his 37 years of doing comedy and believe it or not, a few tangents! Listen to Podcast: The Ride Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus: http://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus Universal's Epic Universe episode available on The Second Gate: Patreon.com/podcasttheride Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forever Dog You know, all sorts of stuff. Oh, the places we'll go. It's Podcast the Ride, a theme park podcast hosted by three men, me, Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan. Say hello, Jason. Hi. And Scott Gairdner. And I'm saying hello. And we are about to go on a fast, rollicking, madcap attraction I like to call Mr. Garland's Wild Ride. By the way, that would be awesome if i was an imagineer and they said create a ride based on it just be a ride full of non-sequiturs and that's sure and i'd have people at certain points during the ride what i'd go for is them going what

was that but numerous times you would by the way i don't want that at the end of the ride. At the end of the ride, I don't want a what was that. I want them to really know what that was. But along the way, confusion. Sure. They would feel like at the end that they knew exactly what you were going for. Yes. Yes. They would get it by the end.

But along the journey, much confusion. Halfway through the ride, the animatronics all lie down and do the rest of the ride lying down with your trademarks i would like that that would be great you have like peter pan if halfway through the ride all the animatronic captain hook just took a nap that would be good that would be good that feels like that would be your ride too though i would love that too yeah yeah there's that one time time that the Lincoln robot like bent at the knees. It started, that was essentially, you're watching an electronic.

It was like an America's funniest home video. Yeah. Yeah. But it bent like sort of from behind, like in like a limbo sort of manner, but kept talking. As if Lincoln was doing a limbo? Yeah,

pretty much. That's really funny actually. I'm not sure what happened. Just those knees started bending. No, but that's really funny. Yeah. Yeah.

And by the way, what did that create? I'm sure much confusion in the, but that's really funny. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, what did that create? I'm sure much confusion in the Hall of Presidents. Do they have a special name for that theater? Well, this was just the Lincoln Theater in Disneyland. I guess it might have been the Hall of Presidents. I'm not totally sure.

What's a Lincoln Theater? I don't even know about this. It's on Main Street. It's like when you walk right into Main Street, there's a Mr. Lincoln. That's what it is. It's the Main Street Opera House. Okay. You ever seen that you ever said and watched lincoln talk for a while on a disneyland visit i would like that here's i imagine he talks hello everyone i'm lincoln that is actually right well i mean that's what i would be going for if i was producing the lincoln you know a few minutes with Mr. Lincoln. Hello, everyone.

By the way, here's what I would do. All right. So people go in. If I was in charge of the park. Yeah, go ahead. All right. So you go into the Lincoln thing and he says a few things. I just want to say that I grew up a proper young lady and I love lemonade. And then he would give some true things. And then later on go, I'm telling you, I was a proper young lady who loves her lemonade.

Just to upset people. And it would upset people. Oh, completely. Yeah. Do you realize that Lincoln is a proper young lady who likes lemonade? People are standing up during the show and saying like, no, this is not correct. I know my history. You know, the

lemonade was not even popularized until the 1902 or so. Orange County Republicans would hit the roof. They would be so upset because they've been upset in the past. That said, we learn more and more about Lincoln as the years go. I feel like a more and more nuanced portrait of him comes out as the years go on. I'm more curious now more nuanced portrait of him comes out as the years go on.

I'm more curious now as to whether Lemonade was around then. I imagine it was. I threw that out in a very haphazard. I don't know. I don't know my Lemonade history. But you were taking on the character of an angry audience member who maybe didn't do just spewing stuff because they were upset. And who might be wrong themselves.

So they might be. If they were wrong about that, they could very well have been wrong about lincoln being a proper young lady yeah a proper young lady sure yeah could have been as time goes on that was forever ago we have no idea the childhood i don't really know well a glass of lemonade was like going to the movies back then it was a real treat you nursed it for two hours it was like seeing the avengers yes yeah when they figured out hours. It was like seeing the Avengers. Yes, yeah. When they figured out pink lemonade, it was like Infinity War. It broke all the records.

People are... Tickets sell out instantly. Most ambitious beverage event. All people had to use were their imaginations. Yeah. Everything else was just water with arsenic in it. And then someone figured out lemonade. Are there any other like when you go in Disneyland Jeff are there any other things you're like

this I wish this was totally different well no I don't really wish it but if someone were to ask me I'd wish it okay so if I were to ask you if I'm walking down Main Street and I'm going into like I'd like it to be Ben Vereen's castle well i think

we can agree on that we can change that and then it's just like there's pictures of pippin on the wall uh and he yeah yeah i want him to be mayor ben from zoobly zoo from zoobly zoo i remember mayor ben my childhood you guys saw that right yeah yeah he was like a cat man he was a cat man yeah but the point being is i love disney as it is i really do sure but if i could you know look it's like one of those things like you know like you wish that like like i've always had this dream of someone i hate being naked for a day and not knowing it like walking through the city going grocery shopping completely naked and they think they're dressed and when people come up and go you're naked this is someone i hate i don't hate that

many people but okay yeah i wish they'd experienced that but what so wait you wanted what do you want what does that have to do with disney no i'm just saying that's just a wish you have i always could use the premise of looking at something and going, if you could for a day or an hour. But Disneyland is perfect. Right. Yeah. No changes. Of course.

Disneyland is actually, you know, what the Disney company should be. Maybe once was. Now they just want everyone's back end a writing deal uh-huh they want everyone's everything they want everyone's everything they're an evil empire yeah i think you probably could argue yeah yeah i mean i tend to think so currently all right sure yeah are you worried about saying that and a possible toy story five no okay because they're not gonna listen to this shit they don't care about podcasts by the way i love toy story and i think toy story everything's right about toy story it's yeah it's perfect toy story four of you it's great yeah yeah you have like the funniest

runner in the movie i'm not saying i was out of town for the premiere that's when i usually see it oh gotcha um it's so the yes the runner is your joke recurring joke is like very foot gets the biggest laugh i feel like good yeah that's nice desiring the dad to go to jail oh i remember something like that yeah that's what i was wondering is that like one of many things or did you know well recording no i did many things and i did other people's lines what they do i think at certain points is go all right who should say this here okay okay so i recorded many different lines i improvised i did all sorts of i have no idea what the uh you know oh yeah i feel like we spoiled it for you then by by telling you that's

not my experience that wasn't my experience on wally that was not my experience on the first the toy story 3 that i did but that was my experience on toy story 4 i did a lot of lines where they go try this and i saw that it was for somebody else oh gotcha well it is when you watch the credits at the end of the movie they are balancing 70 characters when you realize everything you took in like oh my god and now that like now the crew from three is around and needs to be serviced and like uh and then a whole new set of people like so i i'm impressed by the filmmakers being able to like they were very nice very thoughtful and they had great sense

of humors so i i that's all i can say it was a very wonderful experience actually all three of my four of my experiences were all wonderful in different ways i was also the lemon in one of the cars movies cars too i think yeah i never saw it yeah yeah well you could pay me to see a cars movie that one is wild well the thing about the cars movies they're not generally pixar movies for years were the what if. What if the toys talked when you're not around and had meetings? What if there were monsters? What if there were monsters under your bed?

You know what I mean? These are the type of things. Okay. Well, then cars, they live in a car land with cars. They're taught. It's not a what if. It's just cars. Now, I don't want to belittle the cars movies, which I've never seen.

But their toys sell more than all the other Pixar toys put together. Right. Yes. So that might be a motivator to keep making cars. Yes, I would say keeping it. And then when you're a little when you're seven years old, you don't care. Yeah. The quality of the room room.

You're not sitting there going, this is just a James Bond movie plot with Mater. Yes, that is what it is. He's Larry the Cable Guy's junkyard character. Oh, OK. How exciting. Do you know who the well, what is the lemon and who does the lemon talk to the lemon i talked to maybe larry the cable guy i don't remember i get towed is he the tow truck yeah he tows you he tells me look i told you at the end of the movie yeah so

i don't even i knew him i don't want to like give away his secrets but i knew him before he was larry the cable guy right he's just dan whitney whitney yeah he talks a little bit about it i've seen him like kind of also i heard that he doesn't come out of character well i guess he's never dan whitney that he's always larry the cable guy even when he's interviewed at his house i watched him do an interview where he was half out of character i don't know what that means he means he had that accent yes that is what it means he was like well you know i can go into and out of larry and it just we know he goes depending on what state i'm in that's sort of how i talk so if i'm really hanging out with my southern friends and then he goes back into

the southern accent and he's talking about cars and he talks about how much it means to him so he's like kind of half out i always by the way they i i heard very nice things about him from the pixar people because i haven haven't seen him in years. Yeah. You know. The ride where he sings these little songs, the Mater's Junkyard Jamboree. Is it a good ride? I've never had a lot of fondness for him or him in the movies, but I'm listening to those songs in the line.

I'm like, these are great. Those are good. This is the first Larry Cable guy thing I've really enjoyed. Oh, how about that? I agree. And that's also in the Cars Land? Yes. Yeah. On the way to the big one there's two smaller ones oh okay essentially who's the voice on the big one would that be me which which big what are you talking about the uh the big one i mean the big cars ride oh yeah screw not the not midway mania oh yeah yeah

you're always in there that's right can i say Yeah. I don't love that part of the park. Oh, really? I'm more into the Disney part. Well, you should know that. You've been with me. Yes, we went. Famously, the listeners know because we talked about it last year. Yeah, we spent more time in Disneyland because it's got the history.

It's truly, and I hate to sound like a doofus, it's the Magic Kingdom. There's a specialness to Disneyland that does not exist on the other park. The other park's kind of... By the way, I saw... I don't know if I talked about this last time. I saw the other park on a table. The model. When it was a model. It was a big room.

This model of the whole thing. And it looks very similar. Wait, like when it was in development, you're saying? It was in big room. I give this model of the whole thing. And it looks very similar. Wait, like when it was in development, you're saying? It was in development, yeah. I was allowed to when I did the voice for Midway Mania. Oh, gotcha. They pulled me into a room. They made love to me gently.

When I, by they, I mean... Careful, careful. By they, I mean all the Pixar people oh okay they were wonderful but anyhow yeah so yeah because at that time they were redoing a lot of it like

2008 to 2012 they were kind of giving that park a facelift yeah that's what I saw yeah you were right in the middle when you guys got the cars mountains yeah yeah You were right in the middle when you guys got. And all that. The Cars Mountains. Yeah. And the. Yeah.

I just realized in the Cars Land, though, they have a ride where Larry the Cable Guy sings a song and then they have a ride where Tony Shalhoub sings a song. Who's Tony Shalhoub? He's Luigi the car. He's an Italian car. I forgot that. And he has multiple songs that he sings as well. So you can hear Tony Shalhoub sing.

So where's your multiple songs? Yeah, you don't want them. I'm happy that I don't because they would not offer me a lot of money. songs that he sings as well so you can hear tony shalhoub sing so where's your multiple songs yeah i'm happy that i don't because they would not offer me a lot of money it's not something i have interest in that is true they would not have no interest in singing on a ride and they don't pay that much you know it's kind of like if you're not busy that day type of money yeah okay sure yeah yeah like might as well but you're not gonna go out of your way sure you go yeah i'll be on the toy story right i'll be on the Toy Story ride. I'll be part of the history of it.

You know what I mean? But in general, no, it's not like, oh, I got to get the guy. I hope they call. Because it's also that's from what I understand. That is it. That's the payment that ride can run for 2030. Yes. I never get another payment.

It's a buyout. It's a buyout. There's no residuals. Yeah. There's nothing. Nothing. And it's strange because it is being aired more than any TV show could ever air. Yeah, it's constant all day, every day. But you're agreeing to a buyout.

And what the hell? I don't care. Sure. SAG should step in, though. Honestly. It would be so funny if there was somebody whose job was to count how many performances. We heard, though, that this is what they did for the for the music union whatever you call ass cap that they had to have someone count how many times small world plays

every day and then that's how they figured out how much you have to owe the people who compose the songs so that is the people who compose the songs get money every time it's what i was told but it's a small world is an infinite loop right but you have to i guess when the loop loops over this was told to me by someone who should know too this wasn't just like someone that you knew what do you mean like because it's a small world nice maybe you you knew them and you go hey i can't believe i knew him and he was the one doing that uh-huh it was a tiny little girl from india proper young lady yeah proper young lady from india uh so yeah so maybe the sag needs to just do what the ass cat people are doing we are calling today for the unions to invade and take

care of this wasteland yeah uh illegality sure uh jeff have you been to any theme parks in the last year at all anything that would constitute a theme park with a ride a ferris wheel even i've probably been at disneyland in the past year okay i've been there since we went sure yeah and i'm going again we're filming there really next week i'm filming in disneyland oh my god oh no kidding with yeah i can't really give specifics as to why okay it's goldberg's yeah sure yeah yeah filming in disneyland next wednesday wow that's a great tradition of the theme park episodes of sitcoms are my favorite things this is this is a yes we're we are there the goldberg family is going on a trip to disneyland

oh boy wow fantastic we're filming there next wednesday so does it need to be like aged then in some regard like i don't think so i think they'll probably put us like in an area with the cups or no i think we're we're filming near the roller coaster with the water which one's that uh manhattan yeah that's right that was in the 80s right yeah yeah yeah so i just know you're not taking a road trip through a time portal and ending up in galaxy's edge to get a little of that can i say something can i be honest with you yeah if we were i'd be more excited i mean yeah and if we were i would take less money than i currently take if there was time travel let me tell you something in all sincerity i had a talk with adam goldberg

who's no longer on the show he signed a deal with abc disney and he's left sony couldn't close a deal with him which is funny we have new producers this year who are already writers on the show and they're great yeah and i love adam miss adam but Adam and I had a discussion because it's hard to come up with these stories. I said, after five seasons, let's have aliens. Let's have... Let's have Cousin Oliver 2, the second. All these different things that jump the shark.

Like, let's do a jump the shark season. And at the first episode, we're watching Happy Days and Fonzie jumps the shark and we comment. And then everything that could possibly happen in terms of new children, like every aspect. And he agreed. And then we didn't do it. We're still not doing it.

Because if I ran, there'd be gunplay. There'd be lots of stuff. Yeah. Meeting past selves all the time. Like there's time traveling you. And then very special episodes. Learning about things i would love it oh man that would be fun yeah like a really serious episode about crack

my character gets addicted to crack it's a bad time no jokes in the entire episode yeah yeah i do one episode about the word allegory sure just to confuse people that's part of my ride oh i was gonna say you're moving through the 80s so you will hit the point where where john woo has started to get very successful in asia so you could do john woo bullet time episodes with the doves going by the camera and everything if only you and i were in charge i know i'd be so into that if you pitch that to me i go let's do it go right sure just somebody what do you do you'd write a first draft and i go let's film it i wouldn't even read it what if it was like too short i don't care it's five pages long by the

way just me break dancing in the middle of main street and oh boy this is the kind of thing i love on shows because i love when my favorite episodes are where like the beach boys show up and then they just do three songs and the plots out the window one of my favorites was from what's happening when the doobie brothers came up oh yeah and then raj said which doobie you be to one of the doobies i got two years later meet the man who wrote that show oh and i thanked him wow you had that in your head yeah it never left that is a great part where like they all get uh what rerun is like bootleg recording in the concert but here's the thing here's what was beautiful You guys are young and you never got to experience this.

And what that is, it's like the equivalent of your show and the people who listen to your podcast. You're all on the same page. You're all share a love for something. I was able to during the most of my younger years, pre-college, if you will, when we when I watched a TV show, most everybody else was watching the same show. You share the reruns, even Bewitched, whatever. People had shared experiences from now everything to I mean, the degree withulu and, and all the channels, all the podcasts, people only go to what they feel comfortable with. That's what they jump in on. And there's really, unless you share views, it's why we're so fractured politically, because unless you share a view with someone, you're not going there. You're're gonna watch the news that presents the news the

way you like it that's the world we live in it's all split up so hearing the rajan rerun that made me very happy everyone was united there's 30 million people all watching rerun bootleg i think you know after the watch mccall at six point some million people or eight million like whatever it's a low amount but yet it's one of the top rated shows yeah back in the days of what's happening in shows like that it would have been canceled first week yeah i would say even like must see tv yeah so i mean it's all in terms of people even watching tv it's all it's a fraction all over the place because everyone's all over. Yeah.

Which is the cool end of it is that then people can find things that are like this is made for me. This is the thing. Without a doubt. That is delightful. So, you know, I'm not a crotchety. I'm an old man. I'm a weak old man. I hurt my body hurts.

But I will say this. I'm not complaining about it it just is what it is actually i am crotchety about this this type of thing mostly i'm not even saying that's just i was trying to think of one good one glass half full thing about the plan i think that i think there's lots of lots more to choose from and i think a lot more actors are working but even when you talk about actors working they're working on shows that run six to ten episodes 13 if they're lucky and then they're tied in they can't do something else they're like you know it's like you don't it's a different world you know yeah you know you know yeah and then there's the thing of like i made a thing i'm on

a thing and then the entire channel went away like never to be found again by the way you say that true tv i think is leaving yeah and tbs is taking their program i think yeah that's something like that yeah yeah and hbo max is a yes it's gonna be the whole thing and yeah my direct tv now is now going to be called AT&T Now. Is it really though? Yeah. Wow. That's creepy.

It is creepy. AT&T, who wants that in something you like? No, but now they run our entertainment. Speaking of evil empire. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it all sucks. I'd love for the main people of Disney and the main people of at&t to wrestle to the death and the survivor gets to produce whatever show they want hey yeah which hopefully if you had

well like in their ear i've got a new detective show i play proper young lady what happens is i go to a crime scene i go interview bad guys and i say i'm officer proper young lady they're so confused i get them to say anything i bought my badge i'm officer proper young lady how do you spell that never you mind where were you boom done sure show over it's a six minute episode you know's on a new streaming service. You gotta pick a bit and stick with it because all this fragmentation makes pulling universal references

and comedy so difficult. Like I tried to pitch a sketch at UCB of like that involved the Dilly Dilly people, the Bud Light people and everyone's face in the room was blank because it's like, oh, no one has cable. Who are the Dilly cable no one knows people don't even know but this is the point back then if you watched happy days and the dilly dilly commercial

came on we all had the shared experience yeah yeah i mean i just asked you guys if you ever saw a show called dci banks which i'm enjoying and as i'm watching it and it's really well done there are so many parodies you could do of it that no one would give a shit sure yeah yeah yeah but i we would probably like if you like it we're all i think we all everyone in the room similar very much yeah yeah we all enjoy a old batman episode where jaja gabor plays the owner of an evil day spa what was her name again miss minerva yeah that's real that's hold on miss minerva so help me if you've harmed aunt harriet when she came in to get her nails done hi well quick robin get chief o'hara over here. Damn, that was great. That was that little warble that Adam West.

I've done it for Adam West twice. First time. Was he amused? Was evening at the improv. He was hosting a different episode, but they had me go up on stage like during one of the breaks and do it for him. Well, he came up to me afterwards from behind. He said, excuse me me you are very talented good luck to you really good luck then only like a week before he died i was on a radio show with

him and i did it and he's not going to remember you know and i did it and he said to the host, and I went, that is the worst impression I have ever heard. And I laughed so hard, I almost died. You vile fiend. You fiend. How dare you. How dare you. Scott did a couple of things with him. He was on Scott's cartoon that he made called Moonbeam City.

And he was on Gilbert Gottbert godfrey's podcast promoting it and he didn't know the name of the show show is called moonbeam city and he goes there's a wonderful show and it's called razzle and dazzle he really said he sweared it because it was a character's name character the main character's name is dazzle uh. It was Rob Lowe and his father for one episode. Did you ever see that cartoon that the guy who did this other cartoon? I never knew that. I never put it together. But Bob Odenkirk and I used to laugh so hard at the Cosby cartoons, the little shorts.

The mysteries? Justin Roiland, I think, who does Rick and Morty. Oh, Rick and Morty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing where he created robots of all these Cosbys. And Cosby made them stop. It was awesomeness. It was like bathtub Cosby.

Like anything there was, it was one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I wonder if it's on the internet now, because Cosby can't stop anything. He's lost all his power. Or he'll just make that his cause like try to win that lawsuit well by the way the idea that he announced on his web is his website happy father's day on twitter right it wasn't a twitter twitter or whatever it's just a guy he doesn't get it yeah he is out of touch i would say he's a fucking rapist did he like auto fill out his twitter calendar before going to jail so that's really funny to think about that yeah schedule

my tweets might be how about it i just want to say hello to all the proper young i'm sorry i'm sorry to the listeners because that's not even that funny and i laughed i keep going you're going to apologize i was going to ask you i was thinking about this when you were a young man. Did you go to Kitty Land in Chicago? I went to Kitty Land in Chicago. I can tell you. Here's something for you.

So everyone's birthday. It was a big deal to have your birthday at Kitty Land, which is this little teeny amusement park. But it was my memories of it are wonderful. However, I was a very wild child. I had impulsivity issues, all sort of so dig this if someone had a party this happened numerous times they had a fire truck that would take you this back in the days where they weren't going to strap you in they just had a fire truck where kids were in the back of a fire truck which is essentially probably a truck it was a fire truck i had to ride in the

car with the mother of the birthday kid behind the fire truck because i was the garland boy and they were afraid i'd throw some other kids off or do something yeah that's 100 true wow and i would ride and watch the kids have fun sitting with the mom without a seatbelt on. If you hadn't been there, would you have thrown one of the kids out? By the way, highly unlikely. But I was an impulsive young lady. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

I wouldn't have thrown one of the kids off. No. Right. Because, I mean, I look back. But I was a wild kid for sure. Yeah. But I never. Here's the thing.

I was always a class clown. I was a wild kid. But I never did mean things do you know what i mean yeah i i never was bad you know i just did things that upset people because i was loud and impulsive and you know but was there a ride you liked the best i mean they had the standard like there was a ferris wheel there was a tilt the world the ride the little the little train uh-huh that went around that you controlled it was like you know you were it was like the utopia at disneyland i think right like it was a little there was a little movement i didn't get to

a kittyland club i was alive but we never went i think it was on dempster or one of those streets i don't know something like that yes but i did go to kittyland quite often are there you grew up with anything else uh amusement park wise there was well i moved from south from chicago when i was 12 to south florida and there was a place called pirates world oh pirates world was like a an amusement park like that with roller coasters but also they'd have concerts someone just sent me me a JPEG of Led Zeppelin tickets to go see them at Pirate's World. Whoa.

They had lots of concerts there at Pirate's World. Yeah. It was Griffin Road and I-95 in Hollywood, Florida. So if you want to go visit the empty spot, the vacant spot, I don't know what's there now. I don't know. But Pirate's World was a big deal in terms of amusement parks. And then also there was Monkey Jungle and Parrot Jungle in South Florida that I would go to.

And the Seaquarium, which I love. A guest told us about a thing where like a monkey had to go off a diving board where they made monkeys do bad things to amuse the crowd. That might have been Monkey Jungle. My big thing thing memories of monkey jungle were going with my uncle and then he would say when they would say how was monkey jungle and he'd go we saw a lot of monkey duty and i thought that was so funny that's pretty funny yeah yeah i don't disagree with that yeah so you left you left chicago in like 1975 76 okay 75 because there was i was looking this up and i didn't know anything about this there was a place called old chicago amusement park yes do you remember this no but

you know by the way the most famous amusement park was the one over on western what was it it was oh wait yeah no it's like the most famous in chicago everybody talked about it for years my dad went there as a kid yeah it was uh chicagoland no no wish that's a good name though for one just today just trying it was just called grandma and you go there and old ladies would just take you home with them and touch your genitalia riverview riverview was very popular in chicago yes it was there for years it was gone i think by the time i was born 67 it was closed i i was born in 62 so i was five yeah my parents never said let's take the boy to riverview i never went to my knowledge um this old chicago one was in 1975 where was it it was one year it was bowling brook no no it lasted for well that's for six years but it was the first indoor amusement park oh and it was a

wall yes it was a mall but they had like like roller coasters they had fun characters and they had musical performances and i would like to read some of the performers paper lace that went through uh tommy james uh tommy james and the chandels the coasters wild cherry willie ames oh from uh eight is enough charles in charge and what was the movie he did with uh uh zapped oh yeah yeah and he also in the 90s was bible man on tv that's our we're going to do a whole episode about bible man which is a real like religious show he was on Bible superhero And you know he and Kirk Cameron date now

I didn't know Those hypocrites Anson Williams played there From Happy Days Here's what Anson Williams did He stood on the stage and people in the audience just went POTSY! And he'd give a light wave

He just endured for 90 minutes yeah sit on it by the way that was in his rider no one was allowed to say so if someone says sit on you get them the fuck out in there you rough them and don't be soft don't be easy on them get them out of there Don't be easy on them. Get them out of there. Don't be easy on them. As if they would be really kind to the people being kicked out for saying sit on it. Move them, but give them a nice couch to sit on afterwards. Rip Taylor performed there. Nice.

Yeah, nice. It's good it's indoor, too, so the confetti couldn't get far. Yeah. The Star Wars robots, C-3po and r2d2 listed as performing about they did like a live act i don't know what do you mean you know i'm in the new star wars i knew that but i thought that was a secret i guess it is but i don't have any lines you want me to cut this out no no no i'm one of those people that's in it and you go who's that that looks because i i think people will know who that's me well they'll know what's the tell i'm not telling you can't tell the tell yeah i'm not going to tell the tell

i don't want to do that don't tell the tell yeah but i am in it but we but you think we with no information we're watching the film my point being is i work with the cp30 guy you did oh by the way where's the outfit literally yeah and he's very proper and he's very kind gentleman but he takes it very seriously uh-huh wow crazy seriously huh were you if he was touring the nation in chicago then he was no i think it was cp30s i don't think so uh i don't know if i were him i'd want to tour i'd want to go sing songs yeah uh you know he sings the luigi songs from cars yeah he does some shakespeare uh sonnets some soliloquies very focused and serious because i

you know i'll actually have a good bit after the movie comes out because i really did a lot to distract everyone and fuck things up sure yeah including jj starting with calling him cp3o jj would say to me he goes stop moving to your right because you know you're filling the whole screen i'm not making that up because i saw where the camera was and i would make my way into like an area and he goes you can't because everyone's gonna go you're because what i was in it i can't talk about but you would be it would put all your focus there trust me okay okay sure didn't you say there were versions where you were allowed to just say whatever you want i did it for the dailies that they sent okay i did one where i talked about um i'll be making i told certain characters to leave go do what they're about to do when they

come back i'll have built a puppet theater and there'd be fresh pancakes for everybody so this was just sent blinds to disney i don't know what i don't know if they'll put that on the cd the dvd but there are dvd extras whatever extras itunes has extras now but yeah the point being is i don't know if they'll include any of that wow yes i did do that on the star wars set this is another character though that could end up in a ride maybe well by the way there was a i did a 3d thing of my character i was with you i was with you when you did it well that was actually no that's a different day that was for yes there was another scan what you came with me for was the scan for my costume oh and for

everything i wore so it would fit me exact no i got scanned for a fucking toy wow yeah so there's yeah i will tell you the name of my character zebra girl that's all i can say pretty little zebra girl it's not what any other names sound like in the star wars honestly it does there's a character named yak face that's real that's extremely similar i don't think it's similar at all to zebra girl no i don't even know what my character's name is. If my character, I'll name my character damn well. I'll name it. That's great.

I think. Jizamina. It's not with a G. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, you, maybe that character will have their own Disney plus series though. Cause everything's spinning out. By the way, who knows?

Would you do it? Play this whatever character? No. Because they're coming for your back end. What's that? You know, they're taking your back end. Disney's coming for the back end. Yeah, no, no, I would not.

I have no interest. Okay. What if your character was played by Jason? Would you sign off on it? Would you give him the blessing to portray the character? Blessing? I'd beg them. I would too.

Please. Yeah, we're looking. But I would only if it was called Nursing Richards. Did it have to be the name of the show or the character? Both. Both, okay. It's fine. That's fine with us. A Star Wars spin-off called Nursing. See, I love confusing people.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's working. See, I love confusing people. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's working. Yeah, I know. People will be so confused. The new Star Wars show is a character we don't know whose name is a verb. And then it's played by podcaster Jason Sheridan, I think. Come on, how awesome would that be? We'd love it.

Yeah. I'd beg for it. Yeah. So, I had not been to wrigley field we went to you were very nice and took me to wrigley field last year uh and i hadn't been in many years and to me it's starting to look a little more like a city walk around there the outside the outside as much as you say city walk it's really not it looks like a place where people would gather and there's lots of funds and there's a big board it's not city walk is disappointing outside of heresy outside of

wrigley field is delightful i agree well but the thing is we three think city walk also is disappointing but also is delightful we feel like it's both things at the same time yeah like we have a lot of affection for it i've actually never had a bad time at city walk yeah but i've just seen all the things open and close you know there it just it just seemed so unfocused city walk the randomness yes of it all yeah you know it's tacky it's it's tacky that's exactly the word and actually at times you hear dangerous once in a while there are some bad stories yeah there's been some deaths in the parking yeah and by the way

supposedly there's secret meetings of people who are into old west collectibles here we go they meet they meet near the where the water pops up out of the ground there's an area over there where people exchange spurs and that's the thing that makes the most sense to me about city water yeah there's one good thing and it's yeah well we agree that's good too what if what would really ruin the wrigleyville area would it be a full cubs theme park would that be a terror i would be a full Cubs theme park? Would that be a terror? I would be a terrible idea, no doubt. But by the way, I actually disagree with you in terms of everything is about execution. Right now, my automatic response to anything is a bit of cynicism and cynicism is not good. What skepticism is not good.

Skepticism is good. Right. But now the way the world is all so corporate in terms of these things, I'm actually more cynical than I am skeptical. And that makes me sad. But the execution of it, like, I'll give you an example. Man, I always have loved the farmer's market at Third and Fairfax. And when they talked about the Grove, I was skeptical. I wasn't cynical. I was like, really?

Is this going to work? And it's great. I think it's great. I mean, and it brought a whole new life to the farmer's market. The farmer's at night is vibrant. And it's just the whole area is just it's I mean, the down the bad part is the traffic at Fairfax and third. It's really the negative part of it. But outside of that, the execution was done well.

Wrigley Field, people were like, you're going to put a scoreboard here and do this and do that. But the execution is wonderful. I like to go into this. You don't go into Wrigley Field going. This is horrible. It still is a magical place. wonderful i like don't go into this you don't go into wrigley field going this is horrible it still is a magical place by the wrigley field is one of the only places that i feel on in the in america that you can compare to uh disneyland in terms of how one the feeling you're getting yeah yeah i

agree yeah history because you especially when you come out when you walk first into the park in the middle of summer and it's all green, the vines. It's pretty remarkable. It does have like an imagineered feeling to it. Very much so. It's like touched by an imagineer. If you want to see a bad version of that, go to where like the New York Mets play, where it's cavernous and it looks old timey, but it's not. It's just.

And then the worst version of that is where the white socks play where they couldn't even get that down there was no yeah you know so i mean everything is about execution intention you know what's the intention and then how's the execution of the good intention so if you're you're open to a cubs amusement park sitting next to everything i'm open to nine more avengers movies please make them good please make me care about the character i love comic books i collect comic books i do not like uh most superhero movies again i'm anti-disney suddenly but i just because i don't care and these are characters i grew up with i don't care it's like that's I grew up with. I don't care. It's like, that's why I love Deadpool. Cause I cared about the characters. I cared about him,

his girlfriend, the whole thing. I bought into it. Same with Batman, the Christian, uh, bail one. I, I, I bought into that universe and I cared about the characters. It's all about caring about what it goes on and the emotionality of it. And most of these, I'll just even say the Marvel movies, I don't care. You know, I watched Ms. Marvel. I mean, Captain Marvel, who was based on the... The very storied history of Carol Danvers.

Carol Danvers, exactly. I'm just saying the whole thing of it and the like who didn't spot the bad guy from the first time he walks on the screen and what do i care i actually watched it going defeat them you scrolls by the way i saw the first episode our first 15 minutes of the episode of pennyworth is that his name yeah the alfred show alfred yeah he's sexy right sexy alfred it's so bad oh no it's so bad because you know people don't understand you are when you see a movie any movie and it's an outer space movie and it starts with lots of explosions and fighting but you don't care about who's fighting the filmmaker has no idea what they're doing who the people are producing have no idea you have to care about characters if you're not emotionally in

what's the purpose yeah well i think that works on right it's rides as well you know if you care about the characters you care about what's happening there's rides by the way you thank you tie it again i'm trying to tie it back why is luigi singing what is he singing getting back to rides it's also is the ride fun do i care do i want to do it again i mean you sometimes you go on rides not often in the world of disney but you go i've gone on rides where after i was done i was like what was that can you think of Yeah, you got to tell us what you're... I don't know. Name one. What don't you do? Disney. Have you done Falcon yet?

You haven't done Star Wars. Oh, I have not done the new Star Wars park. No. Okay, sure, sure. I will. The Millennium Falcon is a little like... I mean, you know you're on the Millennium Falcon, but the plot of the ride is a little... But I was on the actual Millennium Falcon.

Oh. No kidding. My experience is a little bit different. That might be better. It's not exactly repeatable for the. No, it's not. You know, it's interesting about the Millennium Falcon and being on it. It really is.

The only thing that it can't do is fly. When you're on it, it's you're on the ship. Yeah. And it's the whole thing. There's no there's no aspect of it where you go. Oh, there's the plastic thing or whatever. You feel like you're on the Millennium Falcon. Right.

They have built the Millennium Falcon. Okay? It's fascinating. Is there anywhere to, like, use the bathroom? Do they got a bathroom on there? No, there's no bathroom on the Millennium Falcon. So, there's one more. I guess you can't fly and you can't go to it.

There's little cups with your name on it. It's really how they know. That's better than just a PA going, like, Jeff's on the move. We got eyes on jeff by the way one of my favorite things to do when i work this is one of my own personal things whoever's got eyes on me i'm supposed to i run away from and hide and they're like i've lost jeff and i'm already on set and like you know don't tell them that and keep looking for me oh yeah i just said i was a mean spirited i guess that is mean

but it's fun. I don't know. That's playful. Yeah, I'm playful. You always hear about Clooney doing those pranks. You know, you get to do some pranks, too. Yes, yes, I do. What was that Disney movie that Clooney did that I didn't like?

I wish I had. Tomorrowland. Yeah, it's rough. It is rough. I wanted. That's cynical. That's very cynical. By the way, that premise, I wanted to jump into that.

And yes, part of it. It was such a great idea. All the build up stuff. Oh, my God. Promotional stuff was really fun. How cool is that? And then, wow. They caught Walt Disney out of it.

He was going to be in it. I mean, obviously not the man. He wasn't alive to shoot it, but they were going to put archival footage. That's the secret that I'm going to podcast to ride listeners. Oh, right now? Because Walt Disney is still alive. Oh, my God. Wait a minute.

So when you saw the model of future California Adventure, then did they take you to another room where he was cryogenically frozen? Nope. I know where he's hiding. He made love to you. He made love to me. Stop. I know where he's hiding.

Where? He's actually Lincoln. Lincoln. He's Lincoln. He became that which he loved the most yeah he put a beard on him you can't tell at all the only lapse is when he bent i love disney so much the only thing that's hard for me at disney is i can't have ice cream oh yeah he's still not doing sugar still not doing sugar wow can i say something truly dis, Disneyland is so much as great as Disneyland is.

You throw in some ice cream. Oh, my God. It's heaven. Yeah. Ice cream and Disney, a mixture. Forget about it. You don't got to tell Jason twice. Proof of God.

We talk about ice cream maybe every episode with Jason. By the way, man, I've not had sugar almost two years. The only thing that I can tell you that i miss like literally miss is ice cream like i cookies are great you know cupcakes all that stuff but let me tell you something ice cream is like an experience no other it's so special yeah do you know i would love all right here's me taking over disney sure i'd have ice cream village and ice cream the ride and everything yes you know what ice cream the ride would be i'd have a bunch of chairs and give people ice cream the ride and everything yes you know what ice cream the ride would be i'd have a bunch of chairs and give people ice cream and tell them to close their eyes

do i think of anything it's up to you just use your imagination it all comes true with ice cream wow do you know that there is a pin available that is your wally character eating and staring at a big old cup of ice cream the captain yeah yeah it's a pin where do you get that is that official disney yeah and it's available i had to learn all this weird code it's available at like what is it like sf dsf what's dsf disney soda fountain it's exclusively at the girardelli soda fountain really next to the el capitan you can get it now yeah Yeah, I think. Or you could at one time. Now they're going on eBay.

Kind of reasonable. But it's like, yeah, look at it. Big old cup, a lot of whipped cream. Somebody I know is going to order those. Whenever Mike goes to Disney, what do I have you do? Buy the whole shelf of Buttercup dolls. Buttercup the unicorn. Oh, I was, yeah.

I've got a garage full of, I really do. I probably have like 25 Buttercup dolls. Whenever people have kids, I give it to them. But at a certain point, like I run out of people with kids. I'm 57 years old until I have grandchildren. I'm just going to fill it up my grandchildren's room. You know, Papa, why are there so many of these? Because I get a dollar for every one.

And I am Lincoln. You have to force Mike to have a child in order to. You're in a force of a gunpoint. And by the way, if I have a granddaughter, you know what she's going to be. A proper young lady. A proper young lady. Will she be in any magazines or anything? Granddaughter magazine.

By the way, you're listeners who only knew that I annoyed them with this. Did you ever tell them what happened with granddaughter of the magazine? And it ultimately, I told them, but I didn't, I didn't tell the listeners. It was heard by some people at mad magazine, your podcast, the ride episode. And, um, they asked me about granddaughter magazine and I was asked to, and I offered Mike to write it with me. They were going to give me uh one two three four page wait one two yeah four pages in the book for like a parody magazine of

granddaughter magazine and we were gonna bob saget be the centerfold i got bob to agree to pose for granddaughter magazine and the whole thing but what happened man magazine went out of business yeah there's no more i broke that news to my father last night who was crestfallen by the way there's no more mad yeah i know it's really unfortunate but it's kind of a no-win situation because mad magazine becomes irrelevant the second that south park comes on the air south park does way more damage makes fun of more in a better way than man magazine man magazine served its purpose probably into the 80s yeah and then after that you had or in the late 70s with National Lampoon taking it to a harder place, you know, but for its time, Mad Magazine was comedy and the most important thing. Sure.

Really? Yeah. But yeah, it's like Mad couldn't get like crazier or harder. It just wouldn't have been. There was nothing you could do. Really, it wasn't. There was nothing. It was a no win situation.

I actually even towards the end offered myself to be the editor. Really? Is that true? You're just trying to be the editor, man? I'm happy to be the editor and I'll help make it at least funny. Yeah. You know what I mean? How far did you get?

What happened? Someone suggested and someone said no actually i don't know what happened because actually this is during the time that the magazine fell apart that's why i was offering my help right i see okay okay yeah yeah and they've also had uh multiple owners yeah that's uh is it at&t now owns warner brothers yeah okay yeah it's a Warner Brothers thing. Were you ever in there? Was there ever like a, did they do Curb? Yes, Curb.

They did a Curb. And there was other things. But I actually have a frame somewhere in my garage, a framed picture of the art fort signed by the writer and the artist. Wow. That's fantastic. That's great. It was truly one of the most wonderful from a, not even an ego standpoint, but from a, my childhood tying into my childhood. Oh, yeah. You know, like, oh my God, I'm in Mad Magazine.

It seemed like at a certain point, it mostly existed for people to go like, this is meaningful for me to be in here. Right, well, by the way, you say that. It existed for a to go like this is meaningful for me to be in here right by the way you say that this is for a few dozen people i have the last like seven eight issues whatever it is i just was supporting yeah yeah they tried some interesting stuff in the last year or two did it because i wanted to help support it like i went to that comic book store today and i bought comics because i want them to stay in business sure Sure. I bought some expensive back issues. Yeah. I go to a pro wrestling show. I buy the T-shirt from one of the wrestlers to give him a little more money in his pocket.

So he comes back. I love that. I just did it. I just bought a shirt. You love. By the way, do you ever listen to Matt's podcast about wrestling? I have not. Oh.

What's it called? We'll give him a plug. Grandma. Oh, okay. Actually, to tell you the truth, I do not know the name of the thing because I don't listen of them because i don't listen okay well by the way i don't listen to your podcast that's fine yeah no one needs to do that interest whatsoever except as you as in individuals sure well thank that's like we talked about a few head wings yes and therefore once we were done with that my interest in your show went down if

someone said to me there's a podcast they're talking about if you had wings every year i'd go yeah that's me it's the one time i was on podcast it was if you had wings and granddaughter magazine i understand why your show is great i understand why people would listen to it and you guys are hysterical and you're great guys so i get the whole thing you know sometimes you're like well what is this what i get this thank you podcast the ride is a great title too okay thanks that was scott i'm doing a new podcast called genevieve that's a great title that's a great title too that's a great title it's just all little snippets that confuse people yeah the thing is i'm like you know bringing my i am bringing a new podcast back i swear to god doing the name of it no jeff garland's lemonade stand

and i'm going to record once a week and set up somewhere in town i'll be sponsored by some lemonade that doesn't contain corn syrup and i'm being totally serious we're working on a deal now and i'm and it's not going to be like you guys could stop by like i don't want it to be i don't want it to be like celebrity driven which i don't mean to insult you no no but i'm saying it's like i'll get plenty of big name people sure who will come hang out with me but i want it to just be a really fun interesting hour to an hour and a half it's not automatically interesting because a celebrity is around because i feel like by the way it's the basic interesting you know what the sad thing is some celebrities think that yes by the way one of the great things to see

and it happens quite often and i and i used watch talk shows. I don't watch them anymore. But you watch a talk show, you watch an actor come out who thinks that their stories are interesting, and they don't really have to work at it, and it's awesome. It's awesome. It's just like anyone who believes the hype and you can see through it. Awesome. Awesome. Anyone who's got a Twitter account and is putting their personal opinions like you care for this celebrity. Idiot. Awesome. But no celebrities who are impressed with their celebrity. Delightful.

I find it more enjoying than aggravating. I agree. Yeah. Watching people just at the the height of hubris oh the height of hubris and by the way you know i used to love um humble brag the uh harris humble brag it was so especially people he would nail over and over who didn't understand the premise awesome yeah i think people also don't even, I think people still incorrectly use the term humblebrag.

Oh, they most certainly do. They don't even get it. But by the way, I come from a world where the words hip and cool meant you were above it all. That you were like, truly, you knew stuff, man. They came from an era of like Miles Davis and Louis Armstrong, jazz musicians and and just people that were ridiculously cool.

Now, what do you do? You know what I mean? Hip, by the way, hipster is like a negative connotation. Hipster used to be you were cooler than everybody else. Right now, hipster is you're in Silver Lake. Enjoy your beard right yeah and a copy of a copy of what somebody might was was or something that was organically cool yeah no it's just it's it's so yes i'm a humble brag people use it wrong constantly yeah because

sometimes you want to point out something you've accomplished and it's not a it's not you're not being humble and you're you know what i mean you're bragging you're just like i went here nice humble brag no i wasn't hiding it it wasn't subtle i came out and said look at me it's like you like when you if you were to say like well not to brag or well not to criticize and then do exactly that right it's the new version well if i say it then that that's excusing it right no you're going if anything calling out you're calling out yes yes yes yeah yeah well that's why we don't we don't get in all that hip cool stuff no we don't worry about that by the way as we sit in this room isn't it fun how it's gotten darker yeah the listeners should know yes we've gone from day night, and now we're sitting in here totally dark. We're not sitting in the dark, though, but it is.

It's starting to feel. It was completely light, and then now, I'd say, would you describe the room as gray? Yeah, but I'm seeing you. De-saturated, certainly. By the way, Dracula would be comfortable in here. I'm seeing you in silhouette. Dracula would be comfortable in parts of the room.

Yeah. Yeah, I think he still might get in trouble right over here. He would be like, his skin the room. Yeah, I think he'd still might get in trouble right over here. He would be like, his skin would be a little irritated. Very comfortable. Yeah, you're in like a perfect silhouette honestly, which is cool. Like a really nice shot. Like a really nice shot in a movie. It feels like when you hear

about like, oh, Steven Soderbergh shot a whole movie with only available light on an iPhone. Yeah, that's what we only are shooting in the podcast. By the way, if you want to see a great version of that, watch the Kubrick movie that takes place in the 1700s. Barry Lyndon. Barry Lyndon. He shot with the fastest lenses, like really fast lenses with only candlelight.

Remarkable. I haven't seen that movie. I've seen most of those movies. It's an excellent movie, by the way. I believe. I would believe it. Did you see the big Kubrick exhibit? candlelight remarkable you haven't seen that movie i've seen most of those movies i believe i would believe it did you see the the big kubrick exhibit that was at lachma a few years ago uh no i kept on saying i'm gonna go next week i'm gonna go next week and then it was gone that i do that all the time but i have all the tash and kubrick books and yes you know i have all i have blu-rays of i even have blu-rays and i've bought all the

4k movies that have come out on itunes i tend to waste my money but i'm sure you know well kubrick kubrick's hard because they haven't gotten the some of those they haven't got the aspect ratios on ever i took a camera a really good digital camera to the 70 millimeter showing at arc light when they just the last time released the new version. And I took stills during the movie where I framed just the picture screen and on the back of my phone, I mean, I found my camera. It looked really cool. And then a lady came in and like kicked me out. I got kicked out of the Arclight because I was taking pictures. You're always two questions. Are you Jeff Garlin?

And what are you doing? She would not know who anyone is. By the way, most people don't know who I am. So I'm going to say that is not a humble. By the way, Jeff used it the wrong way. But anyhow, no, she would not know anyone of any entertainment accomplishment. She was security in the arc light. There is no humor at any point coming from her body.

Could you even like negotiate or was it just your dog? I made out with her the best I could. Can you go back? And she called me dreidel boy and she told me her name was proper young lady. Can you go back to the Arclight? Are you allowed back to the Arclight? By the way, I also, I had my movie premiere there, Handsome. Yeah.

The Netflix movie premiere. Starring. Yeah, you were there, right? The Mike Carlson vehicle. I was not at the premiere. Did I invite you? I don't believe so. No, I invited you.

Shut up. I know I did. This was not a thing I meant to bring up, but I don't believe I was invited. Mike, there's no way you weren't invited i will look through my email again but i remember seeing a picture of it and going oh but i wasn't like offended either because i was like i don't even know that's weird well that was just an oversight on my part i went to you invited me to various screenings i went to a screening pre before there was like multiple screens i did go to maybe i didn't invite a lot of people that were in it to the actual maybe i had nothing to do with who they invited i don't remember it's okay yeah you saw it numerous times before yes gave me notes but um that night at the theater i left my

camera a lot inexpensive like a camera under my seat and i came back like an hour later because i realized i'd left it gone and the theater and everyone said no it's cleaning crew like everyone blamed everybody else and just gone so you like lost money essentially your own uh yeah well the memories are more because it wasn't like oh but it's green for many days and I made millions. You know, it all worked out. It all works out. I'm not, you know, but that was actually to tell you the truth in the new way of doing things, which is not shooting film anymore, although I do still shoot film.

Oh, I'm going to tell you a great Disney story. I'll get back to Disneyland in a second. But I would have paid five hundred dollars just for the card out of the camera the sd card that was the value i didn't care about the expensive camera i cared because i took some pictures on there that night uh yeah there was some pictures on there that i really that to this day i'm sad that i've lost so some creep has yeah some pervert is doing god knows what i remember i brought with me one of my like a film cameras to disney and i used up i brought two rolls i wanted to buy there was nowhere in disney that sold film no and i threw a fit to

myself there was no one who am i going to yell and my wife goes you gotta calm down i was so upset because i felt like it made me feel like a luddite do you know what i mean even though you know what i mean it made me feel antiquated even though it's like come on man really there's not one like main street shop and by the way there are signs that say film buy your film here and all that now it's sort of like oh how sweet you know as opposed to and i went in there where's the film we don't have it do you sell sd cards no see that was like my bonus question the sd cards one is weird because i've seen like parks have they don't have a lot of them but does disney sell sd cards anywhere i don't know they have somewhere they have to but maybe they don't i don't have a lot of them. But does Disney sell SD cards anywhere? I don't know. They have somewhere they have to, but maybe they don't.

I don't know. But by the way, you'd think one place would have. Yeah. Yeah. They have the roles. By the way, leftover from the 60s. But no, the point being is I was so upset. That's the last time I and one of the only times I ever was upset.

No. The last time before that was I got in a fight with my brother in Frontierland in the bathroom. What? Yeah, this was like two years ago. No. No, when we were little. And I remember it was my brother. I love my brother.

But my brother, he was at fault, no doubt about it. And I would say if I was, he truly was at fault. And I remember this lady pointing at me. It's the big one who did it. And I remember my parents being upset with me and i'm like no she caught the last part you know it was not you know but that those are my two disney upset moments and that was not with not with mike by the way when young i was kidding around i actually um have been to the park with the goldbergs we we didn't do one that we do i didn't go this past

year but every year we do an annual trip to the park and i will be like at the end of pirates of the caribbean all the people waiting i go yes it's me jeff garland just assuming they all know but i also don't go on roller coasters or things like that like as wild as i get is pirates of the caribbean so when everyone goes on space mountain i'll sit outside and the minute one person recognizes me especially at disney with the goldberg stuff i'm bombarded and i'm happy i'm not happy because i want it to happen but i'm nice to everyone i don't lose my temper i don't someone save me i'm like i'm honored that anyone would come up and want to you know what I mean? So I don't get upset by that. When you feel like you're like

Pluto or something. You're like a character in the park. There is that aspect of my head is like a giant cartoon. You're your own mascot of yourself. Yeah, yes, yes. You've got the beard since you were last on. It looks good on you. I know, I'm shaving it on Thursday. Gotta shave it for the others.

Okay, so that's a spoiler for the Disneyland episode. You will not have a beard. I will not have a beard, but I have a full beard right now. And by the way, I'm 57 years old. First beard in my life. Really? Never had a beard. You just shot a Netflix special, right? Yes, and I'm bearded in the Netflix special.

Yep, that comes out probably in January. Okay. Let me see. I'm supposed to get a call back from netflix tonight let me see if they called me uh and as you pull up your phone this is the only light room now this is one of the strangest settings i've never have we done a podcast in the dark that's true yeah it's kind of interesting yeah um no nobody called me back point being is that i'm discussing to see when is the best time to air it. But as of right now,

it's January. I read a little write-up from someone who was there. They said it was your 37th anniversary of comedy performance? Ironically, I didn't do it on purpose. I only realized like the day before. It was my 37th anniversary of doing stand-up that particular

night that I filmed filmed which kind of blew my mind wow yeah and also i feel really proud and happy that for this special i've done a couple before and i've seen many mine were good no i'm being saying mine were good and you aspire to like make a great special and i did the first we did two shows that night after the first show i'm like great i got it but the second show i think i actually captured lightning in a bottle i think that i captured digitally or however uh what makes me funny and if you're gonna think i'm funny and you're gonna dig me which a lot of people won't and but if you're going to dig me, which a lot of people won't. And I look, but if you're going to, this would be something you'd go. Oh my God.

I love that. I'm like so proud of it. And I hope that people, by the way, it's like having made what you believe is a great record album. And like, is anyone going to buy it? Like, I have no idea when they show it on Netflix. Is anyone going to watch it? I'm so proud of it.

And they don't give you a number. You don't know that. So. But by the't give you a number. You don't know that. So just wait on feedback. You find out, you know. So we'll see. People will see it. We'll all tell everyone to watch it. Yes.

Well, by the way, that's what you want. Yeah. You want you three to come on Jeff Garlin's Lemonade Stand. Oh, we're there. Yeah, we're there. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, you can act any way you want. You can be rude.

You can knock things over. You can spill lemonade. I don't care. Certainly, we can't spill it on what you're recording the podcast on. Well, you actually could, but then you'd really be hurting yourself because you wouldn't be heard as a guest on my podcast. Oh, you're right. That's self-sabotage.

That sounds great. It sounds even better than the time I went to the Arclight and walked out with a brand new podcast. Oh, you're right. That's self-sabotage. That sounds great. It sounds even better than the time I went to the arc light and walked out with a brand new camera. Oh! Jason. Unrelated. Unrelated. Was it a Leica? It looked expensive. That's all I know.

And I say Leica not because I'm into expensive cameras, but I'm into the history of photography. And Henri Cartier-Bresson, who's like the greatest photographer of all time he used i like range finders and it's not like canon or nikon makes a cheap range finder the only people that make range finders are uh like uh so it's a it's like a throwback in time right it's a minimalistic camera there's a minimal amount of controls and it's manual and i love that very aesthetically

pleasing but by the way going back to disneyland that's what i love about disneyland is aesthetically it's pleasing the simplicity and the thought that went into designing that place that's why i don't really love whatever they call the cars land or california adventure whatever it's called across the way california i don't love it. So let me ask you a quick question. Yeah, go ahead. What is the Star Wars thing of success? Well, it depends who you talk to because some people, it's not that full. Well, Tomorrowland was initially something wonderful.

And when I was a kid, I loved Tomorrowland, but it turned into a wasteland. It was not great at a certain point. It was probably the embarrassment for anyone who worked at Disney was like, yeah, Tomorrowland. So they put in the Star Wars thing and I was hopeful for it. It looks great. We really like it. It looks great. If you like Star Wars, you're really going to like it. Is there anything that looks like Tomorrowland?

It didn't replace Tomorrowland. It didn't? No, that was a rumor for a while. That is not true. So is Tomorrowland still Tomorrowland? It's still a wasteland. It is a wasteland, though! The wasteland's still there. It's so bad. I feel bad because, you know,

wow, man. The word was, if that Tomorrowland movie had worked, it was going to get a big redo. Well, that probably would have happened, but I think it should get a redo anyhow. Regardless, I agree. Who's in charge of the park now? I know John Lasseter was for a while, but who is now? A man named Bob Chapek. Does he love the park?

No. Wait, what? here's what i think well here's no you know i maybe i'm being too hard on mr chapek but now they've they've combined the park into a department of like what is it called consumer products and products and experiences i think he i think he cares about it to some degree i think his job is also not a it's not an enviable job because you get a lot of flack from nerds. Like right now. I was incredibly confident that he does not care about the parks.

Scott is not defending Bob Chapek. I just don't know where this is coming from. Well, I think it's coming from the fact that I do think... What's his history? He's just been in like... He's a numbers man in the company. Go to like like did he ever watch Million Dollar Duck? Did he ever?

Does he like the Apple? Does he like the Apple Dumpling game? I bet he does not like the Apple Dumpling game. Does he like the original Dumbo or or even 101 Dalmatians or Jungle Book? It's unclear. Does he like Pixar movies? I mean, to me. I think, I saw an interview with him,

and again, it's not an enviable position, but they were asking him about like, because all the rides now are always just based on a movie and there's no original ones anymore. And he gave like a very like businessman answer of like, you know, anybody else would be doing this if they had the movies we have. And it's like, where's the, where's a little bit of like we love the haunted mansion we love to make

another one and we will soon but like yeah he gave a very kind of cold answer and i was like come on and acknowledge what we all like i want to nominate someone to run the place sure a young lady i know named chantilly cock richards and i think she would do a great job just based on her name. If you heard her name, would you have good faith that things could work out? I think she sounds whimsical. So I think that she has a whimsy for a park.

You may have to censor that middle name, the middle part of it. By the way, I want to stay on the air until it truly is black. All right. It's where we're heading. Yeah. I think it's only the lights of the sea

that are lighting us at this point. It's the lights of Universal. And without the podcast recorder, we got nothing. Here, if I pull out my phone light, I have to tie back to something we were talking about earlier. I was just in Japan, and I got to see... Well, this is a connection here. Yeah, yeah. I saw, while I was there, a big old wall of apparently new Buttercup

memorabilia. Like, a lot of it. There was a ton of it. Here, there's like a there's headbands. I saw there were a lot of girls wearing these things. They don't have these in America. And it says new items down there. And then there's like a hood that's also a big towel that kind of drapes

down both sides of you, like a Pope uniform. Like a clergy kind of uniform. down both sides of you like a pope uniform like a buttercup yeah yeah yeah uh-huh it's like yeah it's a pretty big implement you would wear and i thought while i was in the store i thought should i should i tell mike who could then tell jeff and then i realized then it was distinctly possible you might say get 25 of everything by the way have you ever heard a done deal that's what it would be because i would get so excited now i love that by the way it never the fact that i'm the voice of the captain and wally the fact that i'm buttercup the unicorn makes me i can't tell you how the pride I have and the joy I have and what it means to me. I love the work that I love doing is either for families or for adults. Like I love doing adult work like Curb and I love doing stuff that, like the Goldbergs is the number one show on television that families watch together.

That's nice. It is really nice yeah so i love being involved in that world but it doesn't get any better than being the captain and wally you know that is just like that's but people ask me what's my most proud accomplishment that is my more than curb the captain and wally because that's no kidding that's number one yeah that's like being in sleeping beauty or something like i'm not even joking i'm saying like a classic animated film sleeping beauty is is the fact that 70 millimeter and you can see it that way is great but i think that's an insult to wally to compare it to sleeping beauty if you and by the way sophisticated wally's more sophisticated no no but i think that

wally falls into a modern day version of let's say snow white or one of the the the classic classic disney things but by the way i'm not saying better for anyone listening because you know people i love snow white i love all those original. I love all the Disney movies. Why not Sleeping Beauty? I was going to say Sleeping Beauty. Some people say it's the best one. Sleeping Beauty is so beautiful. Yeah. So great.

Well, I'm sorry. That was just my impulse. Sleeping Beauty is like everyone's favorite. Now that I've thought about it. Maybe you love Sleeping Beauty. Maybe Sleeping Beauty is better. Again, aesthetically pleasing. And maybe I want to be the witch.

But I get like like, Wally. No, the point is, how did it turn into something ego and comparative? No, you were making a compliment. I know, it's that humble brag in the air, I guess. But the point is, I am so proud of Wally. And Toy Story 3, and even though I haven't seen Toy Story 4, I assume. Yeah. He's part of that world.

My voice is part of the world. But Wally more than anything you save humanity the fact that it's a pretty much a silent movie and my voice is 80 percent of the people talking in that movie is me that's kind of exciting yeah although i do think the best part is the silent you still would agree you like it better without you i think the silent part like the first 45 minutes or so is silent yeah and i think that is astonishingly beautiful and the way that it was done uh andrew stanton it was remarkable so i don't even think the part like i i how do i turn this thing into negative all the time not all of it what's dark you're saying about yourself you say you you're

like the heart of it too you're a you're the hero of the film in a way you save human by the way when i saw here's i'll tell you something when i saw i worked three years on it and when i worked on it i never looked i never looked at anything i saw they gave me a presentation when it first started and i thought oh that character looks like me, kind of looks like Jackie Gleason. Okay. I did The Voice for three years. Even when I looped and they wanted me to loop something, I didn't look at the screen. I never looked.

I just- Even when you were matching the- Yes. When I loop any job, I never look at the screen. I listen to it, and I go, what do you want? And I match it to what they want based on what I'm hearing and what they want. I don't even look to match it. And I'm in there quicker than any actor who's looking.

Okay. That's a secret. Is it too? Is it like distracting in a way to be like, yeah, it's distracting. Sure. But also I didn't want to see anything. I didn't want to. So the first time i saw anything

was at a premiere for pixar wow they have their own premiere before they have the world premiere yeah it was in oakland in this beautiful theater and i wept because i couldn't believe i was part of anything so beautiful i was wow i was in awe it overwhelmed me i'll never forget that feeling so oh yeah yeah it's a really it's like like one of the ones I've been the most emotional at, if not the one I've been the most emotional at. Yeah. Well, you know, everyone always brings up also the opening of Up, and I would agree with that.

By the way, to me, the opening of Up is the most perfect filmmaking I've ever seen. To tell a story like that, a long, big story in about, what, 10 minutes? Yeah, a life in 10 minutes. A life in 10 minutes is, I don't even know. I still don't know how they do that. I think a class, a film class, could study that for a whole semester. Yeah. And still maybe not even understand how they pulled that off.

To be able to distill it all down. Yeah, Pixar's done some magical stuff. I tend to think now those days are over though and i know the pixar people wouldn't be happy with me saying that because i know some they're passionate but they now they never used to and now it's all about what celebrities are in the movie and there's a lot of sequels the sequels yeah the sequels but here's the thing if you're making great sequels that's why I said everything's about the execution and the intent. But I think now the marketing and the way they go about it is like every other animated company.

I don't think that it's unique anymore. Hopefully, as they're like, you know what? That movie made me just go crazy. What was the one in the brain? Inside Out. Inside Out was the best movie. Yeah. Oh, my God.

That movie was so special and so original. And nobody listed the people who were the voice. All these movies now, the Toy Story 4. Everyone, who's this? Who's that? They tell you. And it's like a big deal. And that is just ridiculous.

Yeah. Well, hopefully. Go back to Sleeping Beauty. who the hell's in sleeping i don't know i have no idea clark gable sheena easton molly ringwald and anson williams and one of the olsen twins i forgot that's the original cast rerun from what's. The point is that I don't think any little kid gives a crap. They don't. No. You have room for like one celebrity in your brain. The only thing you have to announce is that it's Pixar. Yeah.

You know what? By the way, I love there's people at Pixar. People, actually the people that are in charge. I can't wait. I haven't seen them in a while. Maybe I'll even go up and visit Pixar. I usually like when I do something i screen something maybe i'll screen like the first episode of curb or something i go up there every one of my movies i've screened for them and it's been so joyous and fun but i want to go up and ask them why the different approach to marketing their

movies it's a good question it is a good question i'm curious could i wonder uh could you ask them also because they promised us that on that toy story midway mania they promised more like new levels and it hasn't happened yeah and it's been years now by the way i will ask that but i think that's not a pixar decision yeah probably not what's the dude's name uh bob chapek bob chapek i think he's the one specifically in charge he says he says he says i'll i'll delegate to every ride except the fucking story he has it out for you it's an anti-garland thing yeah he doesn't like how the amount of we gotta get when he's shooting at me i wonder how long it would take to get his phone number like could we do it tonight and text him just directly i could probably get his phone number the next day or two okay well maybe we'll maybe next time you're on he'd

be like expecting a call from me because that's what i would go down right it'd be like jeff garland needs to talk to you but what if he just wanted what if it was like jason sheridan needs to talk to you bob that would not work hi bob i'll be bob let's do a little improv and i imagine the show's over right now right oh yeah sure yeah whenever we want it to be I got like

cotton mouth so I want to quit yeah yeah that's fine but let's do a little improv what's my name again Bob Shapak

I'm Bob Shapak and you're calling me go hi Bob it's Jason Sheridan of Podcast The Ride so good to hear from you thank you for your time today

how you doing hold on one second here who are you I work with Jeff jeff garland i'm jason charter from podcast uh you know he's in a bunch of stuff he's in goldbergs you guys make the goldberg look out your window the goldbergs yeah okay so how can i help you today jason you said no i was just wondering like what is your yeah okay jason what is your question uh yeah what is your overall like perspective of the part do you have a theory behind how to treat the theme parks you know we're very curious because we are seeing a lot of licensed stuff and

you famously on record as saying like well we own marvel we own star wars why aren't we getting in the parks and that's fair and that's simple and people recognize that stuff ask if it's a million dollar duck. I bet he doesn't. But like, what's your feeling on like, say, original ideas or even older stuff like million dollar duck? Well, I'm going to get going, Jason. Thank you for calling and do me a favor.

Would you let my assistant know who you are? Sure. When she gets back on, just so I can understand what this conversation was about. Again, that's Jeff Garland. That name is Jeff Garland. Wait, you're, no, you're Jason. I'm sorry. No, I, Jason set the call up.

I'm Jeff Garland. You're Jeff Garland from television. From the Goldbergs? Yeah, from the Goldbergs. All right. And why are you calling me? I'm asking your theory, your broader theory on how to treat theme parks in the Goldbergs? Yeah, from the Goldbergs. Alright. And why are you calling me? I'm asking your theory, your broader theory on

how to treat theme parks in the early 21st century. Are you a journalist? No, I'm a comedic actor and director and I dabble in photography and... You dabble? Yeah. Jason. Hang up, Jason. Hang up, Jason. Jason, I'm going to tell you one thing. Yeah. And I want this to

really get out there. Sure. I treated you fairly like a proper... I'm done doing my character. Jeff Garlin. I think he seemed pretty nice, I gotta say. I think I like his shape. Jeff Garlin, you have survived Podcast The Ride yet again. Yes, and I'm happy

to do it again in the future. Yeah, we'll do it again. But how do we make sure it's in an even darker room next time? Well, in the future yeah we'll do it again we make sure it's in an even darker room yeah next time by the way let's schedule it for when it was originally scheduled which is for eight oh yeah it would have been much darker yeah let's just do it let's do it in a closet let's all jam into a closet together where we can control the darkness but yeah just like on south park uh yeah do you want to plug anything you want to exit through our gift shop plug anything man i don't need to plug anything i anything okay it's all good just check me out if you do okay everyone knows you'll you'll bump into me when you see a movie when you watch tv or anything you'll say oh

that's that guy yeah so do that folks actually what i really want is look my job is to ease people's pain you have a crappy day hopefully you watch curb the goldbergs wally whatever it is that i can make anyone's day better that's what i do thank you i'm lucky enough to earn a living that way and you have made our days better as well that's exactly how i feel yeah yeah i was being sincere too yeah yeah i think i, Mike. You're a very sincere guy. Thank you. I try. And by the way, no one goes along with my stupidity better

than you. Really? Yeah. And you know, by the way, big meeting coming up on our show. Really? Yeah. We'll leave that as a tease for the listener. Oh my God. Good talking to everyone. Okay.

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