Produced By - Leadership, Parenting, and LinkedIn: The Psychology Connection | #91: Lior Ziv

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

Lior Ziv is a Clinical Child Psychologist, Parent Counselor, and Founder of The Parent Hour—a service helping SMEs support parent employees, leaders, and teams during parental leave.With a background in clinical and social psychology, plus experience as a healthcare startup founder and COO, Lior bridges these worlds to create solutions for businesses and individuals navigating the challenges of parental leave.In this episode, Lior shares his journey of rapid LinkedIn growth, insights into his work, and thought-provoking perspectives on relationships, connection, and personal growth. Tune in for fresh ideas that might just change the way you see the world around you.Connect with Lior:⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-lior-ziv/https://lior-ziv.kit.com/1694b5da80Connect with Tommen:https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomasloucky/https://www.instagram.com/thisistommen/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/TomasLouckyPodcast:Links: https://linktr.ee/produced_bySupport: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/ProducedByPodcast/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Produced (email newsletter): ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://producednewsletter.substack.com/More:EpiXtory (podcasting agency): https://www.epixtory.digital/Trailblazed (marketing agency): https://trailblazed.digital/Podcasting tools I recommend: Riverside: ⁠https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_2&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=tomas-louckyBuzzsprout⁠: https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=2395601Descript: https://get.descript.com/producedbyCastmagic: https://get.castmagic.io/producedbyFenPost: https://fenpost.com/?via=tomasSome links are affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. If you find these tools helpful, using these links supports the show—thank you! Connect with Tomas:X: https://x.com/TomasLoucky⁠⁠⁠Stan: https://stan.store/TommenLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomasloucky/⁠⁠Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisistommen/⁠⁠Unproduced:Newsletter: https://unproduced.substack.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@unproducednotesSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033Ddo8ibDlLYoaP7FFLIWMore:Links: https://linktr.ee/produced_by⁠⁠⁠Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://producednewsletter.substack.com/⁠The Podcast Club: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/25420030/Tools & gear that support the show:Metricool: https://f.mtr.cool/HRJBZKRiverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/vDnDodFavikon: https://www.favikon.com?fpr=tommenRa Optics: https://ra-optics.myshopify.com/discount/TOMMEN?rfsn=8803777.591d19JamX: https://jamx.ai/podcasters-offer?ref_id=e02d48af-ef66-4e76-b804-c2e8d282a8bfSome links are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. If you find them useful, using these links helps keep the podcast running. Thank you!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I think happiness and what it means to be happy or what it takes to be happy, that's a whole another topic. But one model that a friend and colleague and I have thought of for this gap is that let's say, okay, let's take it to the extreme for a second, okay? And let's take someone, it doesn't matter if they're man, woman, whatever, but they're in love with themselves. They love who they are. They think they're amazing.

They think, like, really, like they're flawless. Okay. Again, taking this to the extreme. If that's what I think about myself, think of the level quality of life that I would strive to have, right? If I'm a king, I need a kingdom. I need a queen. And if it's the other way around, if I don't value myself at all, right?

Again, taking it to the extreme, I might be happy with whatever life I have. So, again, just one model, one way to think about it. But I'm finding that these two sets of set of question is a nice way for people to to examine where they are. Before we dive into today's episode, please hit that subscribe button. Your support helps us grow and inspire more people on their journeys. Thank you. Hello, Lear.

Thank you for joining us today and welcome to the show. Hi, Thomas. Thank you. Great to be here. So, Lear, for those who do you know you, can you please introduce yourself? Of course. My name is Leor Ziv. I'm a clinical and social.

psychologist based in Tel Aviv, Israel. And I've been hosting on LinkedIn for about four months now. To be honest, it's hard to believe. I would say that if I didn't know you, and if we didn't speak before this, I would think that you've been there for a long time, judging from your quality content, engagement, and great presents. Thank you. I appreciate that.

I literally didn't know anything about LinkedIn heading into September of this year. And I just stumbled upon it, to be honest, having thought for a long time that I want to expand my work outside of the clinic. So spelling man hour is not the most scalable kind of a zero-sum game. Not that I don't enjoy the work tremendously, but having spent some time in tech and in the startup ecosystem here in Israel and having the luxury to take some time off over the past six months traveling to Southeast Asia, I had in my mind to, okay, let's try and build something that would allow me to, you know, build something more scalable than my clinic.

So LinkedIn just kind of fell into my lap as an amazing opportunity. And here I am. But there are many platforms. So what made you to choose this one in particular? So to be completely honest, social media and I aren't very good friends. I've never actually been on any social media platform, no Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. and LinkedIn just themed like a platform once I got to know it a little bit that I could kind of both feel okay about actually spending time on the platform

because I do think there's a lot, like you said, a lot of valuable content, a lot of great creators. And it still seems like an opportunity. It's not as saturated as the other platforms, right? So you're probably seeing posts on this just like I am, not many creators on LinkedIn relative to other platforms. So still a good place to start. I feel like it's sometimes hard to believe because as we've been there for a while,

you can see that there are a lot of people. But I've also seen recently some statistics. And like research from the market, it's actually quite underused that there are not as many people. So it just made me surprised. Yeah, it keeps surprising me. well. And I think one thing that's kind of important to understand about social media, LinkedIn and other platforms in general, is that each one of us has their own feed.

Right. And what you're seeing isn't what I'm seeing. What you and I are seeing isn't what somebody else is seeing. And, you know, maybe you're seeing these stats on how LinkedIn is an opportunity and maybe only 3% are posting, right? close to 3 million people. But other people aren't seeing that at all. And it's just kind of, you know, there are, I think, about a billion users signed up on LinkedIn. About 300 million active, right, monthly. Each one of them, it's like their own little Truman show.

Yeah. That's how it is. A little exercise, and this is one of the maybe, seen one of the pillars you could say that I'm posting about lately is just our relationship with the digital world and our phones and social media and this is something that I've been interested in over the last maybe five or six years having spent time at a healthcare startup trying to understand how we can adjust change improve human behavior and this one little exercise that I like to tell people

on social media is just randomly take a friend's phone and start scrolling in their feed on Instagram, on TikTok, on Facebook, on LinkedIn, whatever. And, you know, just to get the feel

of how different it is, it's literally it won't, it's not the same game. It won't look like the same app to you. That's true. I'm trying to imagine what it's it's like because you get like as you said shumancho or your own bubble because for example from LinkedIn you create or many people do that they create their own feeds so you see content from

the same people and not going to lie don't really scroll like a main page anymore because it's just just just a waste of time let's be honest so it's a good idea if you checked like someone else's to see what they are interested in what people they follow and what they want to see and how different it is from your reality, right? Understanding how these platforms just have the power to shape our thinking or shape our views on the world. And that's a whole other issue. But just from a personal perspective, just kind of think about, okay, what I'm seeing isn't what my neighbor is seeing. And I think what's important or a good point is that there is this saying that you are average of five people.

that you spend the most time work. So I think this is also something similar that if you every day see the specific content, whether it's entertainment, I don't know, inspiration or education, they probably affect you in a big way as well. Yeah, for sure. I love that thing.

And it actually sparked an idea for me, which I just started out with at the beginning of the year. Maybe you saw it. I think one of the really great things, just like you and I, met via LinkedIn is getting to know actual people on this platform. And to be

honest, I don't know how much of that happens on a professional level in other platforms. I think from what I understand, you know, Instagram has become just like a Tinder, like a semi-dating platform. Yeah, trying to paint unrealistic picture. Yeah. And that's

probably why that little trend of how it looks on Instagram, how it looks in real life started, right? Kind of the truth behind all of it. But so back to that beautiful saying about you being the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So I've decided to showcase, you could say, five new connections that I'm making on LinkedIn every month and giving them the opportunity via my profile. right, my post to showcase their expertise, what they're doing on LinkedIn, what kind of

things they're passionate about. And hopefully by the end of the year, we'll have five a month, which is 60 altogether. And kind of a team of new connections, new people that are just doing really great stuff and people deserve kind of to, you know, to get to know them. So There's a great idea and I think also beautiful gesture because if I imagine if I was someone starting out on LinkedIn and there was a creator like you who would, you know, connect with me and even give me some visibility or shout out or something like that. It's just, you know, great boost to continue and at the same time just, I would say like motivation that, you know, there are nice people and just continue with the platform. So it's only great. Yeah, exactly. I completely agree with that.

And I think one more thing that I'm finding in that same spirit on LinkedIn is that I have the feeling, and this is, I think, mutual for you and I as well, because look at what we're doing now. So the feeling I'm having is that everybody wants to win, but everybody wants to win together. Like, I want to win. I want you to win. If you're winning, then that's probably saying that I'm going to be winning as well, definitely recording a podcast like this. And that's just a really great community and feeling to be part of.

And we can even kind of nudge each other and help each other to win just by commenting on each other's posts, right? Because we know that's positive. So if I see or if I get in touch with someone and we're like, okay, let's support each other even just commenting on someone else's post that's support and that's showing okay yeah I'm behind you in your journey

I agree and I think there's also something that I usually or always try to emphasize is that it's important to have fun on LinkedIn because not going to lie it's not fun or easy to show up every day comment on people's posts and do it just

every day but if you find someone who's supposed to enjoy, who you like to talk to, and maybe their content is just valuable to. It just makes it much easier. And as you said, if you find people like that, it just makes it much easier. So it would be my advice for people. For sure.

100% I agree with that. And before, as we discussed, like, for example, created feed on LinkedIn, what are some people that you follow, or if you don't want to name any specific ones? What type of content do you enjoy? So I think I'll give the content that I'm enjoying, mainly because I don't want to miss anybody that I would mention. So I think everything that has to do with relationships, which is something I'm, you know, very much into as a psychologist.

And to be honest, kind of obsessing about lately, mainly in the AI. era, and maybe we can expand on that a bit later. But anybody who is posting evidence-based advice or content on relationships in the workplace or outside of the workplace, right? Because at the end of the day, LinkedIn, most of the content is in the context of business and workplace. So I love to see that kind of content. any content which is original in you could say self-improvement.

I don't love the term productivity. I think productivity is huge on LinkedIn, and I understand why. But I think, like, the Western work culture has taken that kind of to an extreme, whereas one of the things, in my opinion, we should be doing is helping people to disconnect and unplug so they can actually, when they're on, they can actually be effective. And I like the term effective more than I do productive. And then the last thing, and this is huge on LinkedIn, and I think it's become definitely very saturated.

But I think it's there for a reason, and that's leadership. And from my perspective, I like the, there's a thing I came up with, I think, and I just posted about it. So I'm a child psychologist, and I work a lot with parents. And one of the big challenges for parents these days is that they're literally juggling a 100% position as a worker, right? tech, business, freelance, whatever, and then they have a 200% role as a parent at home. So that's a really big juggle to make. And what's kind of nice to think about is,

and this is what the saying goes, how it goes, not all leaders are parents, but all parents are leaders. So there's a couple of meaning. There are a couple ways that you can look at this. One is that once you become a, apparent and full disclosure, I'm not a parent yet. But once you become a parent, then you kind of automatically step into these shoes as a leader because now you're leading a family. And maybe you could also, you could also say that even just, and this is not just, but just as a partner, you know,

being in a relationship, you become some sort of leader in a sense, right? So now the skills that you have, you just have to kind of own as a parent, being empathetic, knowing when to let go, seeing what's behind behavior with your children. Just like three very, very basic, right, that I'm naming here. If I translated these abilities or skills to the business world or to the workforce, then just skills every leader needs to have anyway, right? So LinkedIn is full of posts on leading with empathy. As a parent, that's literally what you do every day at home.

And then either you do or you don't need to do it at work, right, depending on your role. And also depending if you want to keep doing it at work, right? I think a lot of parents would prefer to, you know, not necessarily be the leader as they are at home at work. It's true. And so if you speak with people like this, I'd be curious, what are maybe some common problems that people approach you with and you help them to figure out? Obviously there will be many, but some most common ones or those that are worth mentioning? So let me focus on one, which I've been researching lately.

Let's talk about parental leave. So essentially, let's take the States as an example, right? So a lot of U.S.-based LinkedIn users. And essentially, and again, let's focus on tech, because, again, a lot of tech users on LinkedIn. So most companies have parental leave policy, right? And parental leave policy essentially give any parent, and maybe over the last decade or so, we've come to call it parental leave, right,

and not maternity leave. So essentially it gives the parent, father or mother, the time hopefully paid to take off once they have a newborn child. And I think what a lot of people are starting to realize, and this is just a start, is that this is a complicated. and has become a pain point for, you could say, three stakeholders in the work environment. Okay, so the most obvious one starting out, and this is what I'm getting as a therapist, it's just a difficult transition to make as a parent. It's especially a first-time parent, right? So now I need to leave my job for three, six, nine, sometimes 12 months.

literally disconnect from my team, whatever I'm working on, my manager, my career trajectory, and suddenly go and take care of this little creature that has come into the world, and this is just, you know, basically my world is turned upside down. I'm not sleeping. I'm probably not eating well. I'm probably not exercising. depending on where I live, I do have or don't have support from, you know,

grandparents, family, friends. This is just, you know, a really complicated point in a parent's life. And then the second stakeholder, and I think it goes without saying that at least emotional support is something that could definitely, definitely benefit these parents, right?

So emotional support could be one-on-one therapy, one-on-one coaching, group therapy, group coaching, and any number of other options, and there are options, okay? So that's the first and most obvious stakeholder. Second stakeholders are, let's say, I'm the parent leaving. Now my team members, okay, and maybe I'm at a relatively, small startup or a corporate job doesn't matter. I'll definitely have a team, right? Now we have to take on this workload.

Is it mediated to us in that way? Do we just kind of pick it up when somebody leaves? Are we already burning out? And now we have a whole other person's workload. Even more workload. Yeah, right? And burnout is a huge issue on LinkedIn and in the working, like, you know, working reality, obviously.

And that's kind of pushing burnout, I think, even more to the extreme. And what I was getting, and I'm still getting through this research, is just like really, really strong negative emotions from those team members towards the parent leaving. Like literally people telling me, I hate her. I hate her for leaving. Now I have to do all her work. Yeah, then it makes the person almost feel guilty, right?

Scratch it almost. Yeah, it's a shame. Right? And then you have the team manager or lead. And a lot of times in tech, this isn't going to be apparent necessarily. So they themselves haven't gone through it, don't know what it feels like and essentially are kind of clueless as to how am I going to deal with this, right? So some question that I've heard is what do I do as far as communicating

with this worker that has left for a couple of months? Do I keep them in the loop? Do I update them on what's happening? Do I invite them to, let's say, team events? Do I keep them updated as to how I see them coming back, when I see them coming back, and so on and so forth. And then the other side of that is how do I support my team, right? Do I go upstairs and ask for a temporary replacement so my team doesn't get burned out? Is that something that I know will get a no in the first place? So I don't even go and ask and I just sit my team down and say, okay, what are we going to do about this? I'll take some of the workload as a manager and then we'll split up the rest.

So I think you get where I'm going with this, right? This is a problem. This is a pain point. And depending on where you are in the Western world, between 15 and 25% of women don't return to work, full-time work after maternity leave. And this is women, okay? So if we're talking and thinking about retention, and this could be. be a really high value employee

for you, right? Then that's another issue to look at. I know that this is a complex topic and definitely differs on specific scenarios where we are based on many other factors, but what would be some maybe

key steps or some standard like a procedures to do to make it easier, to make it smoother and overall kind of more positive experience? I think like, a lot of things in the workplace and just in life in general, it starts with communication,

right? You as a manager, you as a parent leaving, you as the other team members, you just have to communicate where you are, what you're feeling, what you need, right? So if I'm the parent that's leaving or that's about to. to leave, and I'm anxious about what is this going to mean about my career trajectory and my position advancement, then I have to communicate that to my manager, right? And if I'm anxious about coming back once I'm already on leave, anxious about readjusting how it's going to look, I have to communicate that to my manager. And as a manager, I have to make sure

that this channel is open, so everybody feels comfortable to just talk about this. So first step, like in many other complicated situations that were communication, second step, and this is what's beautiful about it,

it's relatively easy to address this issue, right? So if you put in, and let's also maybe give this title, right? So most companies have policy. But policy within itself isn't enough. You need to actually offer support. That means support for your managers.

So manager training once a year, once every six months, just to give them the tools that they need to deal with this issue. And you can just set really, really simple steps and guidelines for how you deal with, the parent that's leaving and how you will actually have them feeling like they're kind of supported end to end. So just start with, and these are just examples off the top of my head, right? And I'm at the research phase, not yet at the solving phase. But one thing you could do is, you know, have maybe like a little farewell party.

Yeah. Right? Just let's kind of note that this is happening. Note what it means. Once they're on leave, then you could, and this should definitely be optional, but you could update the parent if there's a team celebration, if there's a big workplace update, just kind of have regular scheduled updates every two, three months. depending on how long of the leave they're taking and so on. If they're coming back, maybe assign a transition buddy, you could call it. Right. Just kind of, or call it re-onboarding, because it's a re-onboarding, right? Like if I was away for six months, now I have to readjust, re-onboard. Just a couple of examples. And I think what's really important to understand, and this is what I'm saying,

seeing through this research is everybody has this story with their own parental leave. Right. So I'm seeing really senior executive that felt that even though they're, you know, obliged, they have the policy in place for themselves. They couldn't afford to take more than a week. So now their new new baby was born and they're back to work in a week. And a lot more stories that I'm seeing. So just recognizing this as a pain point, I think.

I was going to add that, of course, it could be a topic on its own, but I think that it also comes to the culture, because if there is like a nice and welcoming environment, then I guess that the person shouldn't or there is a less chance that will feel guilty to go on the leaf. You know, because if there is a nice, culture, I would assume that people will be supportive and like, you know, keep in touch

and nice and everything. So I think there might be something wrong already with the culture, which then makes the rest wrong. But obviously it's, again, probably depends on specific situations. Yeah, I definitely agree with that. Culture is huge. And

I think this is maybe like a sensitive situation. Right? That people who haven't really experienced it, aren't completely sure how to approach, like you said. If I'm, you know, if I'm part of a really kind of open and communicative culture, still, if I haven't really experienced what it means to be like a first-time parent now, not should I reach out? Should I not? Do they want to hear from me as their team member? Are they like, I don't want to hear

about anything related to work? It's true. It always makes it different if you experience it or, Want to take your podcast to the next level? At Epic Story, we help you launch, improve and market your podcast with expert guidance. Whether you're just starting out or refining an existing show, we've got you cover. Visit EpicSpore.digital and bring your Epic Story to life. And maybe move from this topic. I know that we could discuss it much more. But something that I was really curious about is when I was doing

a bit of research about you. Is that before in your career that you were actually in the army and then you moved to this new area, if I'm not mistaken? So then what made you to do such a big career change? So first

of all, army in Israel is mandatory. So as... That's a valid point. Yeah, so I had to go and men spend about three years mandatory service.

I ended up spending nine years. Yeah, that may be the reason why I wanted to ask, because I saw that it's been quite long. Yeah. So I spent about nine years as an officer in the Israeli army. And what's funny, I think, is that if you had asked me at 17 or 18, would I do one day more than the mandatory three years, I would definitely have said no way. And then I ended up for nine years in the Army at a place where I just felt that I'm developing a lot as a person, as a human being, as a professional. And if I go back, by the way, to that great saying you brought in of the average of the five people you spend the most time with, I think that's primarily what it was about for me. I was just at a place where there were amazing people around me.

I had a chance to learn every single day in an environment where people kind of pushed me to be, you know, kind of at the top of my game. And when I left the Army, and this is also an interesting idea to think about, and this also is also an interesting idea to think about. and this also kind of comes back to a set of two questions with which I'm kind of dealing with today in my personal and professional life and have also been talking about with a lot of friends and colleagues of mine. So here it is. I spent nine years in the Army, right? and one specific unit, one place, didn't move around. And if you asked me today, are you happy to have done that service? My answer flat out would be, yes, I'm happy to have done it. And then a lot of times the follow-up question would be,

if you had a son or a daughter, would you want them to go following your footsteps, do the same service in that same service? unit. And the answer there isn't as straightforward, right? And I think that's an interesting perspective, not only on this specific, you know, service that I did, but, but on life in general. And I think maybe like the, you could say, 2.0 version of the two questions that I'm

asking people and I think it would be interesting, you know, for you or for anyone else to think about is how much do you like the person? that you are today, that's one question. And then the second question is how much do you like the life that you're living today? And it's interesting, I think, to think if there's a gun, right, if one of the questions is easier for you to answer, you know, you feel maybe better about yourself than you do about your life or the other way around, it's interesting to think, okay, wait, why aren't these things aligned. And they might be aligned, by the way. They might just be aligned and then maybe there's

not a lot to discuss. And what I found, and this is, you know, nothing scientific, but just from sharing this with a lot of friends and loved ones and colleagues, is that a lot of time for women, the answer to the first question comes with kind of, comes with a load. right it's it's a journey for a lot of women to feel good about who they are but for the second question if you ask them about how good they feel about their lives today then it's pretty straightforward most of who i've talked to women felt that wasn't a question they they had to think about very much and then a lot of times for men it's the other way around you know what i mean i don't know where that you know where it meets you if you think about that well just as you said that i was thinking

about my scenario and i was uh i don't know doing quick overview of my life and of where i am but i was still listening so please you can continue because it was very interesting no no go ahead so what did you think what do you think of i thought maybe after the recording. I don't know if I changed my whole I would answer but I was going to say that for the first question I'll probably say yes that I'm happy but with the second one I would say right now probably not really but it's not as a complaint it's something that I know what to work on and like that I'm on a path and trying to improve so I know that I'm not happy right now but at the same time I'm trying to work on it and, you know, not just sit here and complain about my life and

hope that suddenly it improves on its own. I feel you. I really do. I mean, I understand that place. I think happiness and what it means to be happy or what it takes to be happy, that's a whole another topic, right? But one model that a friend and colleague and I have thought of for this gap, is that let's say, okay, let's take it to the extreme for a second, okay?

And let's take someone, doesn't matter if they're men, woman, whatever, but they just, they're in love with themselves. They love who they are. They think they're amazing. They think, like, really, like they're flawless, okay? Again, taking this to the extreme. If that's what I think about myself, think of the, you know, level quality of,

life that I would strive to have need for that right if yeah yeah yeah you know if if I'm a king I need a kingdom I need a queen and so on and so forth right yeah it's like raising unrealistic unrealistic expectations or setting the bar maybe way too high

yeah yeah and if it's the other way around And if I don't value myself at all, right, again, taking it to the extreme, if I don't value myself at all, I might be happy with whatever life I have because, you know, I don't even deserve to. It is. Right? So, again, just one model, one way to think about it. But I'm finding that these two sets of, set of questions is a nice way for me.

people to kind of examine where they are. Yeah. It will definitely leave me thinking after our recording it for a while. And if you don't mind me asking, would you mind answering these two questions as well? Yeah, definitely. So I think from a very young age, and again, I'm a psychologist, a child psychologist, let's remind everyone, from a very young age, I had this sort of inner confidence in myself that, you know, I have this set of, you could say, abilities that I feel good about. And throughout my life and my experiences and my professional work and

my studies and academia, I still felt this and kind of added on to this confidence. But what I've found over the last maybe year or year and a half, especially with the very difficult days here in Israel, you know, as a country, as a society, is that there wasn't enough alignment to my liking between that confidence and how I feel about my life. And over the past year, and I think I might have been telling you about this earlier, I spent almost eight months outside of Israel. And I had the luxury of just experiencing what it means to live as an adult in Southeast Asia and specifically in Thailand. And I'm saying as an adult because I was born in Israel but grew up in the States. So I had that experience as a child, but not so much as an adult.

And I'm saying this, I'm mentioning this in the context of these two questions because I've done. been in Israel for about two weeks now. And I was looking back, what I found is that that gap between those two questions when I was in Thailand, it became smaller and smaller. And there's a lot of reasons for that, which I won't go into now. But again, it's just another perspective of let's not take anything in our life just for granted. And definitely, definitely feel that we're choosing where we are, what we're doing, where we're living, how we spend our time. And this is a luxury.

And I understand that it's a luxury definitely of the Western capitalistic world, okay? People in poverty aren't asking themselves these questions. But I think we need to own that. I mean, it is a luxury. We have it. And that's our starting point. So we need to ask these questions. We need to make sure we don't just kind of slide into this life with like, you know,

just the energy that keeps it rolling and not having really feeling that we're choosing what we want to do and where we want to be. Yeah. It will be a lot of thinking after this recording. So great wisdom. And then still, if we can come back, if you were happy or enjoyed it, and it was fulfilling for you to work in the army, what still made you to quit? So one of the most difficult aspects of the work I did in the army,

and I think this goes for some of the professional world as well, was that a lot of the work was secretive, And from a well-being perspective, from a relationship perspective, from a pure soul and mind angle, that just wasn't worth it. And I think people in any number of situations find themselves or create for themselves a reality where they keep secrets. And I think all of us have secrets, right? And there's also, and again, as a psychologist, I'll say it flat out, there's also something healthy about being able to kind of hold on to a truth or a part of your life or a part of someone else's life, right, who you care for,

and just hold that as a secret or as something that you're saving for them or for yourself. Because there's a connection there. There's a bond that's made over that. But for me, and for a lot of my friends, we spent almost a decade in that reality, and we understood at a young age that that's just not how we want to live our lives and specifically not how we want to create and maintain our relationships. So like I said at the beginning, as a psychologist, and just as a human being, I'm kind of obsessed with relationships lately, especially understanding that healthy, long-lasting relationships are literally the one thing that affects our health and longevity before anything else. So having that in mind, it was an easy decision.

Right. Yeah. Makes sense. And just to be aware of time, what are your plans for the future, whether it's with your clinic, whether it's with LinkedIn or even other plants outside? I love that question because it's like asking what's your dream. Yeah, you can say that. Yeah. And I especially like to think about it these days because it's...

It's evolved so much from the time I started just posting on LinkedIn until now. And it keeps evolving. Like, it keeps changing. So what I'm seeing for my future is just kind of a combination between clinical work, which I love doing, and I'm going to continue to do. because I really, really, really believe in the power of working on ourselves and our lives through connection, through the connection with a therapist, live, physical, inside the room, you know, just kind of unmediated human connection.

And that's how, that's the practice of psychotherapy, dynamic psychotherapy, is what. working to kind of reveal unconscious or subconscious parts of our lives and our souls through the connection, through the relationship with the therapist. And I really, really believe in work. I've seen it be transformative for myself as a patient and I'm kind of an honor of doing it as a therapist as well. So that's definitely going to be part of my life. the other part.

And that's, I think, even one that I've become even more excited about is how I help people more at scale. And that's going to be a suite of, you could say, kind of the creator business model. So just this week, I started out, and I think you signed up to my brand new newsletter on relationships. Yeah, I was going to say that.

I wish I signed up earlier. I don't know. I haven't noticed, so maybe it was a different bread before, but I encourage people to sign up as well. Yes, thank you for that. So definitely sign up relationship recipes once a week, every Sunday.

And I just explore all kinds of relationships, any shapes, forms, kinds. And it's a really, really fresh perspective. So, and I think, you know, taking people off platform, off social media, and kind of owning them as an email list. And, you know, I'm not kind of ashamed to say this. It's an asset, right? It's an asset that you want to create.

So definitely hoping and kind of directing that to be a big part. And then with another couple of offerings for the business world, right? So, you know, we spoke a lot about parental leave. I think there's a lot of work to do in that space. And I'm kind of transitioning from the research to the solution, which I'm going to be offering. And the third thing, which I'm also very excited about, is just kind of exploring relationships in the AI era. And I'm working on just a talk, a lecture on this issue.

because I think, you know, there's a lot of moonshots when it comes to AI. Like, where can AI go? Where can I take us? It's a race. It's a hype. I haven't really heard a lot of moonshots on human relationships, connection, where we're going. And it's a big issue, which we won't go into now, obviously. but those are maybe the three things that I'm going to humbly try to add to my clinic.

Yeah, it sounds great. And just to add to the AI, I agree and understand that I feel like it's exciting or a lot happening already. And I know that tomorrow it's going to be even more in the future. So there always will be something to discover and explore. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And to follow up on the newsletter that we discussed, can you summarize or promote any of your services and where people can find you, follow you and, you know, just get in touch? Of course, sure.

So best place to find me is on LinkedIn. So just search for my name, Leorzev. Via my LinkedIn in my featured section, you can find my newsletter, relationship recipes, and me. really easy to sign up. And then we communicate via email, like I said, once a week, every Sunday, really fresh perspective on relationships. And if you're an HR executive, chief people officer, just an executive leading a team, then definitely reach out to me on LinkedIn so we can talk about your parental leave support

on top of your policy. And yeah, I think that's it for me. And I said that before we started recording, but I mentioned that as someone who's been following Lior for a while, I feel like that if there were, of course, don't copy him, but if there are people sharing similar content as he does, then the LinkedIn will be much nicer place. And I'm pretty sure it's not only LinkedIn if people actually would take that advice outside as well. So I just encourage people to follow and support. Thank you. I love how you frame that. Thank you.

And maybe one of the last questions, what is it that you actually enjoy doing in your free time? Okay, short answer because, you know, we're at the end of this podcast. Yeah, no, no, no, not at all. Sometimes people view me as one of those people who has more than 24 hours in a day. I don't feel that at all, but I'm just going to put three things out there. I love basketball. I've always loved playing basketball from a young age. I feel when I'm on the court, that's probably the most free that I've ever felt.

That's one. Two, I love reading. I know it's cliche, but I do. and at every given moment I'm probably reading four or five books at a time. It's like putting, like there's, and in the, in the spirit of disconnecting from devices in our phone. So I literally have a book in every place that I either sit down or lie down. And it's there, right?

There's one on the sofa, one in bed, a couple in bed probably, one in the bathroom, one in my car. one in my in my back so there's always a book somewhere and the third thing is just spending time in nature yeah and then quick follow-up questions what's your favorite NBA team I'm gonna have to say Philadelphia just because I grew up there I don't follow it as much but in case someone does it to know if if they should support you or not No, it's good. Yeah.

Yeah. Then obviously the tough one, but can you pick maybe three most impactful books or some that you would recommend people to read? I think Sapiens is one of the best I've ever read by Yuval No Harari. Aren't you biased since he's Israeli as well? I might be. I might be. But I really do think it's a masterpiece. It's a masterpiece, so that's one.

For fiction, I love everything and anything by Haruki Morokami, Japanese author, and probably specifically one Q84. No idea. I will have to check it out. Yeah, he just creates a world within a world where you feel that it's just a reality that actually exists. And I have to say Harry Potter as well. Oh, that's a loving.

Beautiful one. I wasn't expecting that. Yeah. I have to. If you have children or not only, but just go read Harry Potter if you haven't. And then have you got favorite destination, like a place you travel to or would like to travel to? So I'm a bit biased again because I just came from there. I think the amazing destination.

Italy is one of my favorites. I lived in Italy for a couple of years, for a couple months. And I have New Zealand on the wait list. We haven't been there yet. Yeah. Me neither, but I have it on my list too. Then before we finish, is there anything that, any final piece of advice or something I should have asked you and did not

or something you would like to share before we finish? I think one thing that I'm finding ever since I started on LinkedIn is that that little cliche of leaving your comfort zone and growing and developing when you're outside of it is actually real. Like anybody who knows me would never have said that I would have become a social media content creator. and to be honest, I would never have thought of myself. And it was really difficult to kind of jump over that barrier to begin with. But once you do it and maybe this is kind of me advocating, just go do it. Really. And LinkedIn is a great place to start.

And the huge plus is that you meet amazing people. And I think the testament to that is what we're doing here right now. You gave me the platform. And this is literally just because of my content. And I got to meet you. And we got to know each other. So just another great thing about it. I completely agree.

And as you say, without LinkedIn, we would probably never meet each other. or maybe somehow and we don't know, I don't know. And stepping out of your comfort zone regularly, obviously it's a big one. It's not easy, but that's how we grow and that's how we discover new things. So I think that's a great point to finish with. So to say a big thank you, Lear, I think that we could continue for a long time, so maybe we can catch up any time in the future again. There was some great stuff.

I really enjoyed it. I also enjoy your content. And as I said before, I encourage people to follow and connect with it. So thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I really enjoyed it. And I like to say a lot of times that, like you said, we'll keep catching up.

Let's see where we are in a year. Yeah. Right? Let's remember where we were when we first met and recorded this one. And let's see where we are in a year. It would be like a nice recap and a sequel. Thanks for listening to Bridges by, with Tomer. Check out show notes for all the links and don't forget to like, subscribe and leave your feedback.

Speak soon.