The Power of Your Voice: Speaking Boldly Changes Everything | #110: Emma Gaskin
00:00As women, when we're brought up in childhood,typically girls are praised more for being polite and being nurturing,whereas boys are praised more for being assertive,and even competitive.So even from a young age, we are socialised that women are polite over everything elseand more submissive.And as we get older and as we get into adulthood,that conditioning runs even deeper.
00:26So typically if we look at women politicians,The politicians that tend to be more criticised for speaking out versus their male peers.Another example would be studies have shown that women consistently underestimate their abilitiescompared to male peers of the same competence.So it's not a competence gap.It's a confidence gap.And typically what predicts promotions and more visibility is confidence, not necessarily competence.Before we dive into today's episode, please hit that subscribe button.
01:04Your support helps us grow and inspire more people on their journeys.Thank you.Hello, Emma.Thank you for joining us today and welcome to the show.Thank you so much for having me.So Emma, for those who don't know you, can you please introduce yourself?Yes, my name is Emma and I am a public speaking coach,but I specifically help female founders.
01:30to speak their truth, to speak powerfully, and to get paid to do so on stages.I was actually about to ask you later, but as you mentioned it, that you help female founders.They like a specific reason why you focus on females?Yes, okay, let's dive right in. Yes, absolutely.So by explaining this, I was actually thinking about a comment that you put on one of my posts,because we've been supporting each other for a while.And I talked about when I my post, like, you know, women, if you're, if you struggle with this, this and this, and you sort of said, oh, it's not just women like I struggle with it too.And at which I completely understand.
02:10So I think it's around 70% of people in general struggle with public, like anxiety around public speaking.But the reason that I specifically focus on women is for a number of reasons, and I've been looking, really looking into the research around this.and while I completely accept that men struggle with public speaking,there's some real unique challenges that women in particular have when it comes to speaking up.And it might be stuff that you're not aware of.And to be honest, even as a lived experience as a woman,I didn't necessarily realize we're going on.So just things like as women, when we're brought up in childhood,
02:50typically girls are praised more for being polite and being nurtured.whereas boys are praised more for being assertive and even competitive.So even from a young age, we are socialised that girls, that women are polite overeverything else and more submissive.And as we get older and as we get into adulthood, that conditioning runs even deeper.So typically women are, for example, if we look at women politicians, the politiciansthat tend to be more criticised for speaking out versus their male peers.Another example would be, like, studies have shown that women consistently underestimate their
03:37abilities compared to male peers of the same competence.So it's not a competence gap, it's a confidence gap.And typically what predicts promotions and more visibility is confidence.not necessarily competence.And so if from a young age you've been told you need to be polite over everythingversus actually what you have to say,it deters women in particular to speak upbecause there's more fear of repercussions,
04:09there's more fear of being seen as bossy or over-emotional.And it's something that's happened from childhood.So actually it's not really that kind of surprising,but they're realconsequences for womenthat men are less likelyto experienceand the science and the data shows
04:30exactly that. So that's why I'm so passionateabout it. I'm gladI ask you because that is something I've beenthinking about a few timesreading your posts and following youand it makes sensewhat you told me about. I have toagree or what you said
04:46that even men are uncomfortableor scared of speaking because I think that justkind of what happens pretty much to the majority.I think you mentioned 70%, so I'm not surprised.Yeah, that's a lot.That's seven, for every 10 people,seven of them will have some anxiety around public speaking.And which also makes sense because it's like this spotlight effect,
05:08the fact that it feels like everybody is looking at you,which is accurate,but also this sensation of people can see into your brain,they can see how nervous you are.They might be able, they can tell when you miss a,word but actually the reality is people are really sat there thinking about what they're havingfor dinner or you know or how uncomfortable their chair is that's the reality of it yeah and then and thenreally it's down to you for the words that you use the message that you share how you speak to
05:40really capture that audience's attention so yes i agree that it's not just women that fear public speakingmen, you know, 70% of people.And a lot of it as well comes down to it's an innate survival mechanism.If you think about sort of tribal times, if you weren't part of the tribe or the pack,you would not survive.So we want to be liked.We want to be accepted.And so that's where it does make sense, of course, that there has that fear of
06:09you want to be accepted, you want to do well.And this element of a spotlight effect of everybody's looking at me.and our body.I'm not going to lie that.I feel like that I struggle with that sometimes as well.Not that I would be doing any public speaking,but when something awkward happensor you just think what others think about you
06:30and then just need to realize that they don't really careas much as you think.Absolutely.And you say you don't do public speaking,but public speaking,a lot of people think about it as being on stage,but actually podcasts with or without video,that's public speaking.
06:46Going on alive. Going on alive is public speaking. Being on a panel. All of these things are forms of public speaking. We just think it formally as being on stage, but there's so much more to it. Even just standing up in a meeting and sharing your kind of views, the way you think, your thoughts. That's all public speaking, just different levels and different forms.Yeah. And I was actually thinking that another maybe smart way, why you focus on women.it might be like a positioning of yourself because something that we'll discuss later on likeLinkedIn when people often think about finding your niche. If you are someone who's focused on helpingwomen or female speakers, it kind of helps you to position yourself and, you know, become thego-to person in that specific area. Absolutely. And there is a real gap for it. You know, we saidsuch a large people struggle with public speaking. And then on top of that, women have thoseextra challenges, and then also my lived-in experience as well of losing my voice for a number of
07:53years and reclaiming it, and bringing that in with a real understanding of the science of speakingfor being a speech therapist for 10 years. I was actually about to ask you, just as you mentionedit, because before I read more about yourself, I thought that maybe you are someone who wasborn with passion for public speaking, being on stage.But then I read that you've got a background in NHS.So can you tell us more about what you did before and basically your discovery behind what you do now?Yeah.So to be fair, I did do little bits on stages as I grew up.
08:30I sort of danced on stage.I was in some amateur productions.And I did have those moments.Actually, I had a moment where I stood on stage at age 16 when I had a real confidence crisis and just forgot what I was supposed to be saying.and it is the most awful feeling.It's absolutely awful.And I had a time in uni where I was giving a presentationand it was deciding whether or not I'd pass my degree
08:56and I absolutely fell apart.And from then on I was like, nope, I'm not doing this anymore.I'm going to smash public speaking.So that was a big part of it.And if you don't mind me asking,do you know why was it?Was it because of stress or something else?It was definitely the pressure of,
09:12it was a number of things.the pressure of it was going to decide whether I passed or failed my degree after four years.It was partly the fact that I didn't fully believe in myself and what I had to say,which is a really big part of speaking up.And then the other part was standing in front of my lecturer, my mentor,and speaking to them, it's those perceived high stakes of speaking in front of someonethat feels like a really important audience or whether it's a bigger audience versus if you're talkingto friends, it's a lot less nerve-wracking because our brain perceives it as a lot less threatening.
09:54Well, just thinking about my example at the high school and I can totally relate.Yeah. What was your example?No, it's just similar after four years at the high school because where I come from, you studyfour years and then you've got big exams that basically determine whether you're going tosucceed or not. And knowing that there is so much at stake, you are speaking in front oflike teachers, maybe some other lectures. And although you've been preparing for that studyingand everything, it's just totally different level because you know how much there is at stake.You know, it's a big day and people have expectations. So I was just thinking about my experience
10:34when you're talking about it. It is. It's hard. It's scary. And unfortunately, our brain does notknow the difference between being chased by a bear and public speaking. It perceives that asexactly the same threat. I kind of see our brains as computers with outdated software. So thissoftware kept us really safe many, many years ago when we were chased by bears to survive. Butnow it reacts exactly the same way as that, then when we're going to do public speaking,which actually isn't very helpful at all.Yeah, yeah, yeah.You know, it triggers that fight or flight response,
11:14and that's when you get your voice shaking,your hands shaking,you're feeling sweaty, your heart's racing,it's exactly the same chemicalsas if your life was in danger.So that's why people feel so terrifiedbecause chemically it's the same thing.So, yes, I have worked with over a thousand clients
11:35in the NHS, in the National Health Service,as a speech and language therapist.So specifically I work with adults who have had brain injuries,so whether that's strokes or brain injuries through trauma.I've worked with people who have Parkinson's disease, dementia,motor neuron disease, a number of different things,as well as things like long COVID and people who have actually physically lost their voice as well.So I've really kind of worked around the neuroscience of speaking
12:06because we learn how people do things when they go wrong.That's how we learn the processes behind things.And was it basically trying to help them to start speaking againor improve their speaking or what was it like?A bit of both, really.So I've worked with people in hospitals who have just had their strokeand maybe completely lost their speech.I've worked with people who maybe have had neurodegenerated diseases for years.
12:36years and we're just trying to get improve their speech a little bit. So a bit of both really.Part of it is the language. So the words that you want to say, I'm sure we've all had thatfeeling when we know what we want to say and it's on the tip of our tongue, but we can't quitethink of the word. Yeah, that's your language side of it. And then the other side of it is actuallyarticulation. So that's how our lips and the muscles we use to speak with form the words.So that would be sort of if someone's got very slurred speech or maybe if they mumble and they're very quiet.They're the sort of two different elements that we work on in speech therapy but also in public speaking as well.Yeah.
13:18Is it like through some kind of speaking exercises to help, because I cannot imagine what is it like to, if someone forgets or loses ability to speak,to how you kind of bring it back or how you make them to speak again?Yeah, a lot of it comes down to sort of neuroscience and neuroplasticity.I don't know if it's a term you're familiar with.I get like a wake idea.Yeah, okay, cool.I'd always like to assume whether people do or don't know, so I'll explain it anyway.So neuroplasticity is, it's not even a theory, actually.
13:54It's a proven concept that your brain can learn new things.So we see this most clearly when someone's had brain damage.So like a stroke or a brain injury, and the part of their brain that's responsible for speaking is damaged.So that part's gone.So although we can't create new neurons in our brain, we can create new pathways.So say this part of the brain is damaged, so this part can't do its job.We create new pathways by going around.So for example, if you've got someone who keeps forgetting the words, they know what something is.
14:31They know it's called a cup, but they can't remember.remember the word for cup, we would do therapy and exercises to create those new pathways. So,for example, I'd get them to describe it. Or I would describe it and get them to name it. I'd getthem to describe it. We'd do lots of different activities to create those pathways again to that wordwhilst going around that damaged area. Or another example would be if someone's got very slurred speechafter a stroke. That's very often because there's muscle weakness because of the damage in thebrain. So we do exercises to strengthen up the muscles again or to create new pathways of thisis how you now speak more clearly, but we just have to do it in a slightly different way.
15:19Yeah, it sounds really interesting. I can imagine that it must be challenging, but at the sametime, very rewarding. If you are the person who helps someone to start speaking again or findright words. Absolutely. One of the reasons I loved working with stroke survivors so much is becausevery often people do have some level of recovery because of neuroplasticity and the ability forour brain to learn new things. But even then if you've got somebody who's gone from, I've had someonewho was a lecturer who couldn't speak at all after their stroke, they improved greatly, but they stillcouldn't speak to the level that they did before their stroke.There's a real sort of loss there of identity and being able to express yourself.
16:10That's one of the reasons why I love being able to help people to do that.Yeah.And as you mentioned, 1,000 people who helped, it's a huge number.So really well done.Thank you.And there's a lot of people out there to help, especially in the NHS, there's a lot of people waiting to be helped.Yeah, I can imagine.And moving forward, what was the moment that made you to quit this and embark on your new journey or find your new passion?
16:41So at the moment, I still work part-time as a speech therapist.That's something that I am moving away from.There were two moments that sort of really woke me up and that I realized I was helping other people find their voice and mine had been lost.And one of those moments was that I was really quite unwellful.for five years. I went from being really active, really healthy to literally struggling to get out of bedbecause everything hurt. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't do anything. And for those fiveyears consistently I was told by a doctor that it was in my head, that there was no reason andthey didn't know what to do with me. So one doctor shut down my voice because once you've been
17:25told that for a while, then you stop speaking up about it, had this real feeling.of people are going to think I'm making it up.But I changed my GP.I moved house.I changed my GP and within one appointment,they told me I had celiac disease,which was an undiagnosed autoimmune conditionthat had gone unnoticed for years.
17:46So essentially,every time I was eating gluten,my body was attacking itself,which is why I felt so unwell.Yeah.I mean, I could imagine like, for example,if you didn't try the new GP,you might be living like that forever or who knows for how long.
18:05Exactly.If I hadn't changed my GP and if I hadn't decided to speak up to that new GP,I could still be in that exact place.And it started around 10 years ago as well.So that was just 10 years ago.And it still has an impact now.Like even though something shifted and I sort of started to find my voice again,just two weeks ago I was speaking to a doctor and I said to them,
18:29I do have a fear that you're not going to believe what I say because of my experience.And do you know what?It worked.That doctor listened to me really well.Yeah.I guess it's about finding the right person to talk to us.So it makes a big difference.And when people listen, because I have to say that about you,
18:47I've noticed watching your podcast, you're a really good listener.And actually, one of the really important things about speaking is being able to listen.Thank you.I appreciate it.I try to focus.focus on it more because I agree as what you said that you can often notice when people are listening, but they are not really listening.There's difference between listening and active listening.Yeah.
19:11When they just listen, I don't know, for the sake of conversation, and then bring up my point just so that I want to tell you something and actually hearing what we're trying to say.So thank you.I see it as there's listening to respond, which is what you've described, and listening to understand.So actually to like put myself in your shoes and be like, oh wow, that's your experience instead of listening to think, oh, what am I going to say next?Yeah, yeah. I agree. And I can notice that I'm serving people.I'm sure, especially speaking to a lot of people.I was just about to ask you, like, what did it feel like? Because you are being told all the time it's in your head and it's going to be improved and suddenly someone gives you like a whole.or maybe a different direction, Masa felt great, I hope.
20:04It was a real relief.On one hand, it was a relief that I knew that there was something not rightand that I knew that this wasn't in my head,but then also there was coming to terms with the fact that I have a condition that I have for life,but essentially it means I just don't eat gluten.But it took two years, really, for my body to heal from that.and so it wasn't really until then that I fully started to feel okay.So overall it was a seven-year journey.
20:36Well, it's a long journey.It's a long time, especially when you're in your 20s.Oh, yeah.Yeah.Well, I was.Not anymore.Although it's such a negative or unfortunate part of your house at the same time,I'm glad that you managed to turn it like into something positive,
20:56such as now focusing on something differentand something that you find more meaningfulor more enjoyable than what you did before?Absolutely, and that's the beauty of storytelling, isn't it?It's not even just, this is what I've been through,I'm getting your audience to feel sympathy for you,it's this is what I've been through,this is how I've turned it around,
21:17and this is how you can do the same.I like it.I like the message because, you know,people often see it as kind of end or pity ourselves because of what happened, but if you actuallymanage to turn it into like a few or something positive. And I can even, I like it that I can seeit in your posts on LinkedIn when you try to support, motivate and inspire others. So justreally well done. And I'm glad that there are people like you. Oh, that's really kind. Thankyou. I'm glad there are people like you telling people's stories on platforms like this. I think
21:51it's really powerful. Thank you. I appreciate it. And then how did you basically startlike with your speaking journey after all this experience? Did it, I don't know, come naturally foryou that I'm going to be a speaking coach or it was some kind of journey or transformation?Yeah, so definitely a journey in 2023. I left a 10-year relationship four months before I was used toget married because I realized that I so am I it was sad and it was a really hard thing to do butit was the right thing to do I realized I again had lost my voice in the things that I really wantedsupporting someone else's dreams and goals and so I left that relationship and I invested in myselfand I knew that I wanted to do something different I loved working in the NHS I loved working
22:45in speech therapy. But I was done just helping people find their own voices and not my own.So then I decided to speak up and say, right, this is it. I'm ready for a change. What's awayfrom the relationship, invested in myself. And then I actually went to a retreat where it was sort ofquiet enough to hear my own voice again and decided, okay, I'm going to do this. And then itkind of came naturally. Because when you're thinking of,like your business and what you want to do, you think of your sort of zone of genius.And I know that I love helping people and I love to help them communicate and share theirmessage. So it came really naturally that public speaking would be part of that.
23:31I've done a coaching qualification. And then it sort of all came together really beautifullyas being a public speaking coach for women because of my lived experience and my experienceas a speech therapist, so the two really came together quite naturally.Are you struggling to stay consistent on LinkedIn?Fanpost helps you create high-quality posts in minutes,so you can write faster, show up more, and stress way less.Built by creators for creators is the easiest way to grow your presents without burning out.Try it free at fanpost.com.
24:10And did you find it quite easy to dive into this public speaking?although you had like some experience from before or you did a bit of it when you were youngeror was it still maybe a bit of step out of comfort zone and a bit of challenge?Well, I still get nervous when I speak publicly.Still get nervous.The difference is knowing how to handle those nerves and soothe your nervous system.I'm feeling the fear and doing it anyway.I say that a lot.
24:42Partly because nerves in excitement are the same.chemicals. It's just how our brain interprets them. And partly because if you truly, deeply arerooted in your why and your purpose, so the message that you're sharing when you speak, you acknowledgethe fear, but you do it anyway. So my message and my purpose of helping women to be heard and to getpaid to speak is bigger than my fear and the nerves that I feel when I'm speaking. That's what makesa huge difference. And one of the big things I noticed was thatSo I can teach somebody to mumble less and speak louder,but then all you're doing is sharing a message you're not really sure about louder.
25:25Whereas if you really truly believe what you're speaking about,if you're really rooted in why you're sharing it,what the outcome is, how you can help people.And then you learn how to say it louder.That's how it lands with the most impact.And that's how it turns into them people wanting to work with you and do the same thing.Yeah, that makes sense and I like it.And when it comes to, like, let's say, audience or your clients, are there, I mean, we spoke
25:53before that there are so many people who are afraid of public speaking.But what is it like for you, for example, when it comes to finding the clients?Because we know there are so many people, but I can imagine that maybe people are stillafraid, are afraid to reach out or afraid to get out there.So basically, how do you find people?Is it they approach you or thanks to your content, you kind of show them that it's not as scary or they can reach out?Or how do you do it?It's a mixture.
26:26I think part of it is, as I say, really being rooted in your wine, deciding on your message.And then using your voice in different ways.So making sure your voice comes through in your content on LinkedIn,making sure you use your voice on stages or in public platforms,whether that's on lives on LinkedIn or other places.Because although LinkedIn's brilliant and you can really build trust on the platform as well,there's nothing quite like people hearing you speak face to face.So it's sort of...
27:00Yeah, in my opinion, it's sort of quantum leaps,that building trust process when someone sees you face-to-face speaking about whatyou're passionate about and what you do. And that's something then people are more likely toapproach you and say, I want to work with you. I want to see how you did that. And then alsoreally sharing your story and having some vulnerability. So sharing the stories of what you've beenthrough. People approach you. And then it's other things like building the opportunities forpeople to work with you. So things that are free, things that are sort of lower ticket. So peoplecan come into your world.
27:40I've also had experiences of people DMing me because they've seen my content and said,I want to work with you.Let's make it happen.I like it.It must be great like a first step.I can imagine like following you for a long time, enjoying your content.But then doing that, you know, first message when you actually do it, you can see it andyou have to commit to it.
28:01So it might seem like a small thing.But actually that commitment, well done for those who actually do it.Yeah, no, it definitely takes a kind of person and a kind of personality to step up and say,okay, I have this fear, but I want to change it and I'm willing to put in the work to change it.And that's the kind of person I really respect and it's the kind of person that I want to work with.Yeah, yeah.And I'm sure that you cannot really generalize, but is there, for example,time frame that you work with your clients such as if it's in a span of days,
28:38weeks, months, or it depends, and you cannot really say?So, for example, my kind of one-to-one program was it started at six weeks,and I very quickly realized that that wasn't long enough,because real transformation takes time.So really, now I'll do sort of a minimum of three months,but there's so much to public speaking.There's the sort of, you start with the inner voice.So my sort of speak up formula,
29:07the whole part is that you start with that inner voice,so that mindset that you can do this,that you have something worth sharingand working out what that isand the stories to share with other people.Once you've sort of got that down,then it's how do you deliver it?How do you speak in a way that really captures your audience's attention?
29:28And once you've sort of mastered that,also looking at the opportunities that that can provideand how to create that ripple effect when you speakso that one talk can lead into multiple opportunities, new clients, new inquiries for workshops,other talks. So there's a lot to it. So in an ideal world, you could say, oh, we'll work for,you know, six weeks and everything will be fine. Maybe if you have one specific thing,but actually there's so much to it that you, and transformation takes time. Yeah, I think I wouldn'tunderestimate it because if you go through this, imagine how it basically can change your life
30:07onwards, you can say, okay, it's just maybe six weeks, but if you keep working on it,keep improving, it can literally impact, I don't know, so many areas with your life later on.Absolutely. Once you have the skills of speaking and speaking powerfully, you're set for life.Yeah, not just career, but even, I don't know, your personal life, your brand or whatever else.That's it. You don't have to start with speaking on stage. You can literally start with tellingsomebody that they got your coffee order wrong.Because just speaking or true.So many people, you know,
30:44there'll be an restaurant or a coffee shop and someone gets their order wrong and they don'tsay anything, even though they were really looking forward to what they'd ordered.So start small and build up.Yeah, just trying to think of some examples when I was younger.I'm pretty sure that there was something that annoyed me and I just didn't say anythingbecause I was afraid.That's it.And it's learning, isn't it?
31:07okay to speak up and speak your truth. And also to do it in an empowering way. So people can usetheir voice to tear down others and say, oh, well, it's just my opinion. But actually, that's notwhat I'm here for. And that's not what my movement stands for. It's about speaking your truth in a waythat empowers other people and sort of shines a light for other people to then be able to dothe same in an empowering way. So maybe inspire others. For example, imagine if youdo it with your friends who are also afraid, but once they see the children, they did.Next time they may do it as well.Yeah, sort of similar story I can think of is actually my best friend who's also a speech
31:49therapist.I've been speaking to her about how, you know, this journey and that it's not easy,but I absolutely loved it.And she's now handed in her notice to sort of go and do something that she's reallypassionate about and because she's, again,working in the health service, but kind of feels like a cog in a wheel rather than she's making a real difference.Now she wants to go and study something she's really passionate about whilst doing some work on the side.And that's just something that she wouldn't have necessarily dreamt of before.
32:22And that just shows the power of your words, really helps show other people what's possible as well.I'm good to hear that.Sometimes it might feel like, I don't know, you, for example, not saying that it happens to you,but you keep doing something like a regularand might seem like that on a day-to-day basisit doesn't really help or maybe doesn't yield results as we expect,but you never know if someone like is following,and after some time they decide to take action
32:50because they've been following you and your inspiration for them.Absolutely. I think you very often forget that people are watching.So even if someone's not liking your pose, commenting you,commenting on your pose, DMing you,they are watching and it might be that six months later down the line they reach out and maybenot but then your words may still have a ripple effect on them and something that they've donehow they see something how they talk about something.Underestimated yeah and when it comes to your focus and your clients on female speakers
33:24is there like any more niche focus such as from I don't know the specific industry oror type of age or anything else, or it can be pretty much anyone?Yeah, pretty much anyone.I do specifically in my LinkedIn profile talk about sort of female founders,so women that have built businesses,because they know what it's like to, well, sort of build a business from scratch.They know what it's like to be ambitious,to keep going even when times are hard,
33:57to wear lots of different hats and take on lots of different roles.They're no strangers to challenge.And the women I'm looking for really are,or the women that I'm calling in,are women who they've built a business,they've built their own brand, their own legacy,and now they want their speaking skills to match what their business stands for,really open up other avenues.
34:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.And have you got, or have you from experience,you know, there are obviously always positive storiesand success stories, but have you also had like a client that even you struggled with,you had challenges or maybe didn't work?I hope it worked, but you never know if there was like some example like that.People have to make the decision to speak up so I can create a program for people to learnhow to speak their truth, decide what that is, decide to deliver it powerfully.
34:55But you have to make that decision and you have to commit.So I can give you the tools, but then if I put the mic in your hand, it's your decision to carryon practicing those things. It's your decision to show up and to continue. So yes, lots of successstories, but also not everyone's ready to make that decision yet, and that's something youhave to decide to do. That's actually a good point because obviously you cannot be like,oh, Emma, make me public speaker without me doing any work.or anything like that.So it's a good point.
35:31It's like if you're like,I'm going to decide to become an Olympic gymnast.So you can get a coach who can tell you you need to do X, Y and Z.But if you're like, no, I don't want to go into the gym.How is it going to happen?You have to decide, you know, to get up every day and go and practice.You have to decide to eat the right things to do the right exercises,to get in the right mindset.
35:56and someone can help you and mentor you and guide you along the way,but ultimately it's your decision.I like it.And of course it's not just when it comes to public speaking,but pretty much taking action about anythingbecause it's ultimately up to you.No one is going to do that for you.Exactly.
36:14And also I often say to people,when you're public speaking,you have to prepare your mindset like athletes do.You have to prepare like an athlete, like physically and mentally,because there's so much more to it than just open, like, there's so much more to it.Yeah.And speaking of preparation, can you tell us more basically about your process?For example, if you're about to, doesn't need to be a stage, but any public speaking, how do you prepare yourself?
36:43So I have daily practices that I do where I really anchor myself into my goals.So what am I working towards at the moment?as I mentioned before, being really truly deeply rooted in your why and your purpose.What you're here to do and what your movement is,and the difference between your purpose and your why is how you sort of start a movementthat's so much more than just sort of posting on LinkedIn or speaking on stages,it's about the ripple effect of your work.So being really rooted in your why.
37:15I have, like I said, daily practices.I do, I do, I don't know if you've heard of EFT, like T, like TAS, like T,It's called emotional freedom tapping.So you may have seen people on LinkedIn or Instagramand they're sort of doing this while they're talking.Oh, I haven't.Oh, how exciting.Maybe I haven't noticed.
37:35It's really cool.Yeah.So it's called EFT or people call it tapping.And it's essentially where it's traditionally done for like phobias.So you would tap on a statement on these different parts of your body.They're called the meridian points.And they're the same points that are used in.like Chinese medicine or acupuncture.
37:56Yes, it's the same, the meridian points,the same points there to sort of release these fears.But the way I do it is sort of more affirmativethat you kind of go through what you're feeling,what you're fearing and feeling,and then working through and sort of building up new belief.So I sort of do that daily,as well as like gratitude journaling,
38:16as well as like mirror work.I'm doing all of these things to keep myself groundedand remind myself what I'm doing,because it's so easy to get distractedby all the noise of,here's what you should be doing,here's what you should be posting.So easy to get distracted.
38:31So come back to your purpose, your why.And then if I have,so I have a speaking gig coming up in 10 days,and one of the things I found really usefulis visualization.So literally someone sent me pictures of the venueand visualising exactly what it's going to look likeand then visualising how it's going to feel to speak confidently.
38:52And the reason I do that is because our brain cannot distinguish between what's imagined and what's reality.It's really big in the athletic world.And there's someone really big on LinkedIn.Maya, and I please forgive me for not saying her name right, Rachora.She's just brought out a book called Visualize.And it's all about the power of visualization.So that's a big part of what I do as well.I like it
39:17and definitely is some helpful takeawaysfor me that I need to work on as wellyeahyeah that a lot of it is around your mindsetand then also like preparingso although I'm not a believer ofyou should rehearse and script every single wordI like to get
39:35what's the purpose of your talkwhat do you want the audience to do when they finishedwhen you finish speakingand then reverse engineer it so this is the outcomethese are the stories I'm going to tellthis is what I'm going to teach the audienceand this is how I'm going to startmy speech. Very similar to a LinkedIn post
39:57you need a really good strong opening lineyou need to teach the audience somethingand then you need a call to actionit's very very similar with public speakingbut I like it even though I agree with you're notto be like 100% like a robot based on what you preparedBut still, at least for me, with the preparation, it gives me like a peace of mind that I know that I'm prepared.And even though if I forget something, I still get like some kind of structure or foundation and just makes me more confident.
40:31I absolutely agree.And that's the beauty of like the combination is speaking from your truth because there's familiarity in what you're saying.And if you're familiar with what you're saying and you believe in it, it feels less scripted.but also I'm a big believer of preparation.If you just get up there and wing it,you're going to feel less confidence.So if something goes wrong,you're more likely to sort of fall apart.
40:55Whereas if you're,you've got a strategy in place,you've got a plan of what you're going to say.And even the words that you choose,it's very much that real combination of strategy and soul together.That's how you speak in the most powerful way.Yeah.I like it.
41:12I agree.You know, Emma, you mentioned, I apologize, I don't remember name, one person from LinkedInwho released the book, but besides that person who are some other of your, like, inspirationswhen it comes to public speaking or people that you learn from or people that you follow.I am a huge fan of Lara Costa.Obviously, she's made a huge brand and a huge business, but she's also not afraid to sharereally vulnerable parts of her story. So she speaks her truth. The fact that she used to have a stammerwhen she was younger, and here she is speaking on international stages about how to build your LinkedIn
41:53brand. It's something that I hugely admire. So definitely her, what she stands for, like I said,the fact that she's not afraid to be vulnerable, but then show you value and teaching from whatshe's been through as well. I was actually going to say to you, I'd love to know who someone is that you reallylook up to on LinkedIn.It's going to some probablycliche and something unexpectedbut I really like Yasminbecause, you know,
42:21I feel like everyone likes Yasmin, whichI think it's well deserved.But I think that if you lookat the following that he's got,you know, the audience, the name,I can say even the fame.I feel like that is stillauthentic, real and genuine.
42:39At least that's my impressionfrom his posts because what I noticed before I haven't really engaged with such big accounts,but I started to regular engage in with Yasmin.And I really like that he even says that.He devotes like, I don't know, 30 or 60 minutes after posting to reply to the comments by himself.Unless you've been on LinkedIn for some time, you can recognize whether you're speaking likewith real people or if it's just AI.Yes.
43:09And if you look at Yasmin, he's following the number of comments on everything,and he still shows up authentically.And you actually have chat with him like in the comments.I just admire it.And I think there should be more people like that.And I'm sure that you know it by yourself that these days like in the comments or engagement.There is so much generic AI comment in that it's not really conversation.It's just, you know, I don't know, for the sake of visibility or for the sake of growth.
43:42And it kind of loses all the fun.And, yeah, so I would say, yes, me, it's amazing.I think that's a really good point.And you can spot a mile off, really, if someone's using AI.Even when it's a really good comment, you can tell because of the way that AI structures,it sentences, the way that it asks questions, you can tell when it's not just,generated by a human.And I think what we've both said there is we've both mentioned people who they have big
44:14followings, they have big brands, that they're both very genuine and authentic in sharingtheir story and engaging with their audience.Yeah, I agree.And I think what is quite sad, or at least that's my impression that I think authenticity isbecoming quite a buzzword on LinkedIn, that you can see it often in posts, people talkingabout it how it's important, but then on the other side, it's what we just discussed about the commentsand engagement. So I think it's a bit sad. It is. And I think that's partly because we have thesesort of structures that people say to follow to grow on LinkedIn, like comment on X amount of
44:56people's posts, then don't post and ghost, make sure you engage. People are trying to shortcut thatwith AI. And so it becomes a bit of a tick list. But the problem is then you'remissing out on genuinely engaging and building connections with people.And like, so you can tell it with the language that's used.Yeah, and especially I think people also forget that if they show up every day orregularly and you engage with the comments on your post, you are not stupid.You can notice that it's AI and you can see the pattern over time.So you can recognize it.
45:35So it's not like really you can fake it or something like that.Of course, there are like some people who maybe have better AI comments without the game changers and stuff like that.But still, you can say if it's a real personal one.Yeah.The ones that say, that gave me chills.That I think is quite an AI phrase.Here's the truth.Certain emojis.
46:01And tell me what's your one tip for X, Y, Z.All AI and.And if they comment in threes, so like your perseverance, your strength and your power are really inspiring AI.Yeah. Oh my God.Sometimes it's so cringe like when it doesn't make sense the comment.Because for example, sometimes I did like a carousel with, I do this newsletter carousosos where I hide fifth lesson from the podcast episode.And, you know, obviously AI cannot recognize that it's.like a hidden and the fifth lesson isn't shown there and then you've got like the comment
46:42oh fifth lesson that's the best one did you even read yeah yeah you can tell when people useair and when they've only scanned the first line and the last line in a post yeah yeah i would haveso many funny or cringe examples so nice it at least makes you laugh but i would sayOr at least that's a, I would say it's like a takeaway that although there are people like this,there are still people who are genuine and authentic and like a perfect example.For example, you and me, because we didn't know each other, but because we've been supportingeach other, that's still the potential of platform like LinkedIn that we met and now we aredoing the episodes together.
47:30So don't look for a shortcut.It's worth it and, you know, show up authentically.I think people forget thattrust andconnections and friendships are builtover time. So yesAI can give you a commentbut there's nothing like
47:46building up relationship and trustand it's the same for your audience like peoplepost for two weeks and then go why have I not got anyleads or clients?If someone put you you've turned upfor two weeks people don'ttrust you yetyeah what's the secret
48:02for growth and for how longyou've been showing up two weeks. Okay, that makes sense.Exactly. And the story of how, like, the, we met and the fact that we were introduced through a mutual friend.And then it wasn't until later on where we'd actually been DMing, we'd actually been supporting each other, that you were like, yeah, okay, let's do this together.Yeah. And it makes a difference.Exactly. It's definitely worth it. And don't rush it, don't underestimate it. And as we said, I think,we are a great example. And Emma, just before we finish, I always like to ask a few, like,a lighter question. So outside of what we discussed, what is it actually that you like to do
48:48in your free time or what are some of your hobbies? Oh, good question. I really enjoy dancing.So when I say that, I just sort of mean like commercial style. So I go to like classes. It'ssomething that's really helped me with my confidence. I'm not particularly amazing at it,but it's very fun. I love getting outside, being in nature, being in green. I love dogs.So even now, as I'm working part-time as a speech therapist, I do home visits. So just yesterday,I did three home visits, and in two of those homes, they had both had dogs. Well, that was it then.I'm having a great day.And I literally, I was asked permission,
49:31but if they let me take a picture of their dog as well,and then I send it to my partner,I'm like, I'm having a great dog day.At least the patients know how to make you to come back again.Yeah, exactly.Yep, just have a cute pet.And I really like reading as well.It was actually one of my next questions.
49:52If you've got any book recommendations,whether something that you enjoyed or was impactful to you?Oh, yeah.Actually, can I go and get one?I'm sure you.It's the one, the visualized one.I'll go, hold on a second.So this just shows you this is not just a, it's not just a buzzword.
50:10This is the visualized book by Maya Rucho.I don't know how to say it.I haven't finished it yet, but it's really, really good.And it talks a lot about the neuroscience behind visualization,and I'm really into neuroscience stuff.And I also read a lot of psychological thrillers because I like twists and turns and I like being caught unaware.There's nothing better than when you read and then something unexpected happens and you just didn't see it coming.The only thing is when you've been reading lots of psychological thrillers, you see a lot of the twists and turns coming.
50:47So now it's getting to the point where I can guess a lot of the endings of the books.So anything that gives anything where that doesn't happen.I'm completely caught off guard.That's the best kind of book.Need to read.What's his name?Stephen King.This has got great books.
51:06So, Emma, can you please summarizewhere people can find you,follow you, and promote any of your services?Find me on LinkedIn,The Speaking Hub,and also on Instagram,the.combekinghub.
51:21And as always,I will add it to the show notesso that people can connect, follow, and women find their voice.And then I would just finish it, Emma.I want to say a big thank you.As I said, it's been really nice supporting each other on LinkedIn.It was great to meet you.You left me thinking as well about myself and speaking,
51:43and it was just great chat.So thank you very much.I will keep following and supporting.And I wish all the best.So thank you very much.Thank you so much for having me.And again, thank you for providing the platform where people can be listened to and have really great conversations.Thanks for listening to Produce By with Tomlin.
52:03Check the show notes for all the links.And don't forget to subscribe, like and share your feedback.Speak soon.
There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click any sentence in the transcript to leave one.