Produced By - Unveiling the Intersection of Creativity, Wellbeing & Identity | #42: Michael Williams Adu - Nyarko

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Lights, camera, stage lights - meet Michael Williams Adu - Nyarko! This London-based artist thrives both on film sets and theatre boards, but his journey wasn't a straight shot. Battling mental health hurdles, he took a leap, returned to film studies stronger, and landed his dream jobs on the theatre stages. But acting wasn't always the spotlight. Michael started behind the lens, but a taste of live performance rekindled his passion for the front. Now, he aims to shine in plays, embracing his mixed Caribbean and African heritage in a creative industry hungry for diversity. Curious about his mental health journey? Michael opens up about his struggles and the strength he found in taking a break, offering honest advice and hope to anyone facing similar challenges. Ready to be inspired? Dive into this episode and unearth the power of self-belief, ignite a conversation on diversity and unleash your inner artist. So, press play and discover the magic Michael conjures both on-screen and off! Elevate your online presence with the help of Trailblazed, your (and our) favourite digital marketing agency. ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://trailblazed.digital/⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you enjoy the show, please, consider supporting it on Patreon or by buying a virtual coffee (or chocolate). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/ProducedByPodcast⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/producedby⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Boost your creative career by joining our new Skillshare course and feel free to let us know how you liked it. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://skl.sh/3Rh7ZtY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter to stay up to date, get the latest news and much more. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/build-relation/newsletter-follow?entityUrn=7092551882589528065⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with Michael: https://linktr.ee/mxwadu Connect with the host: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomasloucky/⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/thisistommen/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow the podcast: Links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/produced_by⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Web: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://produced-by-podcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/produced_by_podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT5LHnM6YCaeVzIr0WatOsw⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/41BiG5YvGIgITz1N14hF2E ⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/produced-by/id1684669642⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you enjoy listening to the podcast, please, leave a review on your podcast app, subscribe and share it with your friends. You can also send us a message and share any feedback, advice and tips for guests. About Produced By: Produced By unveils captivating stories of courageous people who set out to pursue careers in highly competitive fields, despite often challenging circumstances. Enter the spotlight with our guests and get inspired, whether your interests are in the creative industries, personal growth or you simply want to have fun. Listen to individuals who represent a wide range of professional backgrounds, geographic locations and career stages. So come along to follow their adventures and learn from life's experiences as we kick off on this epic journey. Thanks for listening and see you soon! Connect with Tomas:X: https://x.com/TomasLoucky⁠⁠⁠Stan: https://stan.store/TommenLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomasloucky/⁠⁠Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisistommen/⁠⁠Unproduced:Newsletter: https://unproduced.substack.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@unproducednotesSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033Ddo8ibDlLYoaP7FFLIWMore:Links: https://linktr.ee/produced_by⁠⁠⁠Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://producednewsletter.substack.com/⁠The Podcast Club: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/25420030/Tools & gear that support the show:Metricool: https://f.mtr.cool/HRJBZKRiverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/vDnDodFavikon: https://www.favikon.com?fpr=tommenRa Optics: https://ra-optics.myshopify.com/discount/TOMMEN?rfsn=8803777.591d19JamX: https://jamx.ai/podcasters-offer?ref_id=e02d48af-ef66-4e76-b804-c2e8d282a8bfSome links are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. If you find them useful, using these links helps keep the podcast running. Thank you!  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello and welcome to Produced Buy. Just quickly before we begin, if we enjoy the show, please consider supporting it by joining our Patreon. You can choose from a list of memberships and we'll receive some exciting rewards. Thank you and back to the episode. Hello Michael, thank you for joining us and welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for having me, Thomas.

So Michael, can you please introduce yourself? Yeah, so my name is Michael. Williams, I am a performer, I am a filmmaker, just an all-round creative guy, really, just try and put my hand in as much things as possible. So can you start with your background? Where are you from? Where am I from? So I am, yeah, from the UK, London, born and raised, East London.

But my parents are from Trinidad and Tobago and Ghana. half Afro-Caribbean. That's interesting, yeah. So when did your interest in film or creativity start? Was it from young age? Yeah, so basically it started when I was in school. I actually was in secondary school and I didn't do anything creative-wise. I was super like one of, you know, was interested in things like ICT.

and my GCSEs were in ICT art and geography, which was nothing to do with film or anything or creative. It was actually my brother. Actually interested in geography. Well, here's the thing. So this is, I tell everyone this, it's like so weird. But I actually was like, when I was younger, I was like, I want to be a chef.

I was like, I want to get into like that kind of stuff. like I watched like a lot of cooking shows growing up and I seen parents cooking stuff. And I was like, ah, I want to be a, not even a chef, a baker. I was like, I want to specifically make cakes. Like at a young age and like I wanted to be into, in that kind of field, making case because I love cakes. I do love cakes up to this day. And I essentially was like, yeah, let's just do that.

So I started off doing that. So I picked, but what I didn't pick anything to do with, like, I didn't do any cooking classes or anything. So I was like, no. but my thought was if I do geography, I can learn foods of the world, if I did art, I can learn how to design the cake, and if I do ICT, I can promote the cake. But I didn't do a cooking course, what the fuck. So I came out of school, like, really, like, lost. It was actually my twin, Martin, that kind of got me into, like, media because he did a film, like, GCSE. And I was like, and then we had friends who, who were doing it as well. And they asked me one day, do you want to do this like skit one day?

And it was, it was funny at the time. I was a big fan of Doctor Who. And it was called like, Dr. Water or something. So I was like, yeah, let me just get myself involved and put myself in. And I did a little bit of acting in it. And it was, but bear in mind, this was like, this was like when I was like 13, 14 and I was like, no, even younger than that. I was younger.

I was like year six, year like, no, year 11. And I was like, yeah, let me just jump into this. And I did a bit of camera work with it. So, like, we filmed it and everything. It was, I think it was for like, like, their course, whatever. So we was just like, yeah. And I was like, actually, I like doing this. I like just having fun on camera and just not, you know, kind of being creative in this way

and adapting something into it. So, yeah, that's kind of like where it came from. So then following after that, I did a course at college. creative TV and film production and yeah we did a had made a couple of stuff there as well and then it kind of just transpired into me going to uni and doing

a course there so if that didn't happen it could have been a baker or a chef or something by now yeah I mean if I didn't happen I was definitely going to go down the route of like taking up cooking classes or maybe even doing like a cooking course or something like a college somewhere

I was living the baker. I mean, there's nothing stopping from doing that, to be fair. Couldn't do anything in you want. Yeah. So did you then, or when did you decide if you want to focus on

being in front of camera or behind the camera? Right, yeah. So when was I, like, when did I decide to change that? So I came... What made you to decide?

Yeah, so I think just a couple of years of just being, behind the camera and seeing like what are that like seeing you know just seeing how people performed in front of it and hearing interesting stories i think i decided i was like you know what i would like to explore this i think i was on the set one day and i was like you know what i would actually prefer to be in front of the camera i would actually like to you know perform and try to build my take my creative like creativeness and kind of move it into something else as well so i would like to

trying to, because you know, at that point I'd been doing, being behind the camera since 2014. So it was like, and I kind of made that decision in like 2022. I was like, do you know what? I want this year to kind of be where I like put myself forward for more roles that are like involved in acting and like being in front of camera or even just like facilitating that. And I think, yeah, that was like sort of my, that was my, that was my program.

I was like, yeah, let's do that. So yeah, essentially I was like, yeah, let's just try to put myself forth to things, apply for different things, even if it's free and then, yeah. Yeah. So I guess the background from studying, the work behind the camera helps once you transition to focus. And did you also continue or did you do any studies, you know, to become an actor or didn't? No, so I haven't done any studies or anything. I've just decided one day, I was like, you know what? I want to just change the narrative.

I was like, I, of the only education I have is in film. So everything I've done is film related. But I think that has helped me to understand the process, understand how it all works, pre-production, post-production, pre-production, understanding that and giving me a sense of an idea of the industry I'd like to get into. And I think it's quite useful information. And I know you said you decided that 22,

but when you are studying BA film, did you already know that you didn't want to really do this or are you still excited about it? Well, it's not about didn't want to do it. I still think I would like to do things within it. Like I still would like to do film. I just think my priority now is to try and to, than the next couple of years to really build

myself as an actor and a performer. So it's not saying I'm just, I say I'm putting it on a bit of a back burner for now, like any projects or anything, I would like to focus my time more on trying to find roles that are in front of the camera as opposed to behind the camera, but not saying I wouldn't do behind the camera like,

I just say I would like to do more things in front of the camera. But that decision, yeah, came from 2020, I think my, yeah, a couple of gigs that I did in 2021 was like, yeah, I think I would like to be in front of the camera now. Yeah. And what actually, what role were you focusing on while studying? Did you want to be a director, producer, or what did you want to be? Oh, I was focused on producing. Oh, producing.

So do you want to tell us about some projects, where are some interesting projects you took part in? yeah no i mean yeah i got at so the project i did i produced was it was called not wanted and it was my final piece it was my final year project and yeah it did really well it was you know we managed to film it in four days and it was it was difficult it was tough i'm not gonna lie it was like the toughest thing i could do because and bearing in mind i had took in the gap year before that. So I joined a new class with new people, didn't know anyone. Well, I knew people, but you know how it goes. You kind of used the summer to like link your like groups to get your groups ready. So then when you start the course, you already know who your team is and you

already kind of, I didn't do that. I went in, didn't know, like didn't really know anyone. It was kind of like the first day with like day to like really like sort of connect and really. find out who's going to be my director but i was like i really want takes producing and it's you know doing the same course you can understand it's very you know it can be very difficult if you don't find the right team and the right group and the especially in the final year especially in the final year as well so i was like but it was but it actually worked out in the the end because i'm very and that's the one biggest thing i'm so happy i made that decision to just join and just throwing myself head first and do that because if I stay with that other year,

I would have, yeah, no, it would have been drama, but that's a different kind of conversation. How come or, I was going to ask you if you don't mind telling us, why did you take a gap year? Yeah, do you know what? I, um, I basically, the reason why I took a gap year was because I felt like at that point in time I was not, like, I didn't feel mentally ready to take myself back into that year. And I just felt like, you know, the kind of, you know, there was some circumstances that happened, but not even just that. Like, I just felt like I needed to take some time for myself to really reflect. Although the jobs afterwards weren't exactly the best, but I think it was well needed.

I just wanted to take a year. I was really good. Actually, at that point, I was really ready to leave. I was like, you know what, I don't even want to do this degree anymore now. I think I might just leave, but I figured I'd started it already. But if I leave now, I might not, you know, get, you know, I don't know where I'm going to be. It's not like I left and I had a job.

Do you know what I mean? I would have been unemployed. I would have had no, like, you know, no money to like, and student finance would have, like I said, you know what, no, sorry. Like, yeah, it would have been a bit of a problem. So I thought, let me just. take this time to really think about do I want to continue this course? Do I want to continue it with these people?

Yeah. So I took the time. I think it was more of like a mental health check for myself and really just being like, this is not that I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do it with these people. I don't want to do it in this environment. It wasn't, say, like I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel seen in any sort of way.

Yeah. You know, obviously that was years ago. I'm over all those things now. Like, it's just, like, looking at it was, it was a, it was a bit of a difficult time for me as well, especially like other things happening outside of that as well. I think it was just like, I just needed to take some time for me and really just focus on what I want to do. Yeah, but I took the time.

I worked in a coffee shop for about eight months after that. And then I worked in a retail store. and then I was like, you know, I'm going to go back to uni and I'm going to focus. I think it helped me a lot of focusing as well because I also get into know new people and like getting to know new coursemates and yeah, developing the film.

And yeah, happy it did because we made a really good film. They're good actors with some really good actors. And I think that's what it motivated me to like wanting to be at to seeing them perform to those. extent that they perform. It was like, wow, I can really, and like seeing the interaction between the director and the actors and the crew and just seeing that like, that's something that I actually really interested me and motivated me to want to do the same, that like, this is not impossible. And to see the quality of it and to see their performances and such striking performances

from all of the, all of the cast and the team. It was just like, this is something I'd love to do. And I think I have a passion for this. So from your experience, is there something you can advise people who may be in a similar situation, like when they are at university and struggling to continue or they are not, they are feeling down and not sure whether to continue or is your problem? I say, you know, each, each, the thing is, every situation is very individualistic and personal to them. my personal my situation was there was just you know wasn't

it wasn't I mean I I should say like for me I left because I didn't feel that I was making the content that I was wanting to make and the films that I wanted to make with the people that I wanted to make it with I didn't feel like I was in a good batch

I'm going to be so honest I wasn't like and I thought that people no I'm going to be so honest I don't think I was. I think that people were very, you know, they had different, you know, they had different, you know, mindsets. It was very like here, like people. These were the group of people and then this were this group of people.

And it was like if you were in between, it was very hard, very hard, like, so hard to find a group, like to find, to do group projects in that year because it was, it was, it was people were so, like, they would find a team and then stick with that team. and then it was like there was never any openness and if you'd made like if one mistake you would it would be like like it was like that was it that's all they thought of you and it was like you never could

there was no redemption on that course it was like make one mistake and then that's it and I don't think I don't know if a lot of people I think it's it's a problem because it actually you know it's and it's kind of reflective of what life is like now because obviously if you go to the industry

and you make one mistake or, you know what I mean, depending on the, it does depend on the severity of the mistake, though, because if it is like your route to cast, you're root to crew, like, you know what I mean, that's going to blacklist you really quickly from, and that really limit you in terms of what jobs you get because people do talk in this industry.

But, like, I feel like for me on some of the, you know, looking back now, some of the things that people did, like, it wasn't enough to say that that person couldn't have a group and potentially really fail their cause. Do you know what I mean? It was like, let people learn, okay, maybe they come a little bit late, do you know what I mean? So you find different ways to incorporate them, but say, you know,

make them come two hours earlier to a set than everyone else and lie to them. So if you know they're going to be two hours late, tell them that the call time is two hours earlier. And so they're like, wait, hold on what? Like, yeah, we just started. Yeah, that happened. I didn't want one. Because I was like, you're not coming late to set. No way.

So I'm going to tell you the call times two hours earlier. I got them to come at like 8 o'clock. Yeah. When the call time at the clock, I was like, yeah, I just wanted to make sure you got here. So, like, but doing things like that ends up making and realize that. I was very, I was very nice, but I was also very tolerant, like, make that mistake once, it's not going to be a problem. I'm not, I'm not going to have you. I'll find, like, I can easily find someone else to do this.

It's not, you need, like, you know, do you know what I mean? But I wasn't like, you know, but I felt like some people, were a little bit more passion than that. Once they were like, after shoot and it was like, Jesus Christ, like,

yeah, definitely a lot of like, but you know, but essentially what advice would I give to people who maybe are at like a crossroads or like done their first and they're like, you know what, I'm not really feeling it or,

oh, I want to take a gap here. Like, I think go with your gut. If you feel like you're in a position that you, you need to like rethink where you're at and check, like, honestly,

checking in with yourself. and yourself only and being like, this is how I feel, this is what is going to make me feel happy if I take this gap, yeah, even consult with yourself and like, have that conversation with yourself because really, actually, not even your parents or like other people are going to really be able to tell you what to do with your life at the end of the day because it is your life. I had to have that hard conversation with myself and say like, you know what, I'm not happy with the situation. I'm in right now. I'm not happy with the people that I'm with. I'm not happy with the space. I'm not happy with the, you know, for the, for the environment that I'm in. So I need to kind of

think, is this serving me? Is this helping me in any sort of way? No. Okay, then this is the steps I need to do. And I kind of made that decision in four days. But, you know, some people take a summer or a year to think about that. And they're like, yeah, I've already put it in. But I made those decisions in four days. So don't do that. Take some time really for a flex. Like that rate of right. Right. it down, write them the pros, write them the cons, you know. Don't be afraid to like talk to people though. As much as like obviously having conversation with yourself, but like talking to people or maybe having, you know, you know, counselling, therapy and like, you know, having those kind of conversations to yourself. I think mental health for me, as someone who's neurodivergent and

is autistic, I found it, you know, very like very difficult, very difficult to kind of make those decisions. So having that kind of intervention and really speaking to people externally actually did help to make that decision. Yeah. I think it's important to discuss this stuff because even from what I remember, it was sometimes a bit stressful. You know, it's last year of university or even second year. Big ambitions of everyone. You've got a lot of stuff going on, such as work, university projects and everything. So I think it's important to discuss this and

hopefully it will help some people who may find ourselves in such situations. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think talking to, talking to, like, if it's related to mental health, 100% talk to, if you can seek therapy or seek any sort of like counselling,

like no questions, like, seek for it. It is important. as well. And if you're someone who is, you know, again, I mentioned them on the spectrum, it's some, it's a lot more, you're a lot more prone to getting into that kind of feeling, especially because you're in a new environment. You're in like, you know, some people have never met people from, you know, who look maybe like me or like you, like you come from different backgrounds and, you know, and they've come into this, right, they get stimulated, they get overwhelmed. They're like, oh, and some people come into that course, like have done a plethora of projects.

worked on this many films. You had been directors. Some people get jobs like that straight away. Some of them are working and all of that kind of piles on. And it's okay to feel like that. Like, comparison can be a big thing in this industry when people go off the accolades. And it's like, naturally you will feel like,

I'm not where they are, do you know what I mean? But it's natural. So talking about it and talking about it in a space where it's constructed to support you, like a therapy session. like a counselling session, that can really help to push yourself forward. And I will always push for that. Yeah, I agree.

So then how did you start planning your way into the industry once you graduated? Yeah, so for me, I graduated in 2019. I decided, I didn't go through it straight away, though. I was like, you know what? I need to go on a holiday. like I just done three years because, like, I just made this film. I decided I wanted to go to.

Yeah, Malta. Oh, okay. Why did you decide for Malta? Do you know what? At the time, I was with people, we found a good deal. It was a nice little, like, it was a flat, but like, it was a good flat.

And we just, you know, just decided, let's go Malta, you know, book something. it's good to like we booked it with the idea that we had something to look forward to afterwards and it was it was a good it was a it was a right trip yeah i've never been there so i don't know it's i think it's good i actually went there again in 2020 by myself i just was like because i loved it so much but every time i've been there there's always been an altercation not like with people there so i don't know i mean multi-eat people you're like to fight like but i

I have some funny stories. No, but they are, it is funny. They were, it's a really beautiful island, really beautiful scenic areas. Do you want to share any stories that are, can be public? You want to know the tea about Malta? Yeah. Something funny. Nah, there's a funny, like, okay, so like a funny story between my, my brother,

me, my brother, when we went out, there's like this strip called St. Julian's. and one day we were coming back like I don't know we were going to try to find bars whatever and they have this club that basically like my brother like was walking unbeknownced

they have this club and there's like girls standing outside if anyone knows me and Martin we obviously we don't swing that way we swing the other way so with these girls have popped out just grabbed Martin and brought him into the club and like I know Martin I was like, where's Martin?

Like, where is he? He's not here? And these girls go on and drag them into the club. So they're obviously trying to like give him a show whatever. And like he's like, no, I don't want that. So like, obviously I've known about him to grab him. And they like tried to take his money. They like tried to rob him.

Like they were like, give him some money. We gave you a show and everything. It was like, he was in there for like a second. Like what you mean? So it was just so funny that like my brother was like got like snatching into a like a strip club just to like get like

and I think a friend that are actually paying just that hell it is but I was just like no like he was trying to get his money back but it was just like it was like 10 euros like yeah it was just funny

but there was other things as well so it's a lesson for listeners to be careful if they go to Malta no you know what go Malta I'm not going to say like at the end of the day like it's like when you go to another country like always be careful

if you're like so long as around this you're not like you know weren't you because the same well that I don't fit to that level it will happen here but you know be careful because you could just get much stuff into a club sometimes that you didn't want to get into and have your money taken out so but it was yeah just be careful enjoy yourself I mean I definitely had some you know obviously I've had other holidays as well but that was the main I think I actually I went to Portugal when I was when I was at but I was at uni so for the couple of people that was a funny trip but that also ended in tears.

I have part of the vision maybe as best to travel solo, though, or maybe with the twin. Not, well, I mean, I would love to go on a trip with a friend of ours who's a lovely girl, like,

I know from where she's amazing. But yeah, I mean, just never, you know, everyone always likes to post and be like, oh, yeah,

I'll have the amazing trips. I never tell you what happened behind the pictures. I guarantee every single, that's holiday, last holiday, something went down, someone fell out, this and that I felt.

Like, and that's, Yeah. The truth is really. I'm real enough to say things happen. But I've definitely had my falling doubts on holiday. Yeah. So just coming back to it, then when you came back from Malta, what were your plans?

Or how did you want to start? Yeah. Oh, Jesus. I need to look at my CV. Or if you don't remember, just say, you know. No, no, no, no. No, I remember now. So I, no, I didn't go.

Yeah. So, Malta, I then went to Primark. So, like, I worked in retail again because I... So I worked in retail while I was in uni. I worked, it was the same, it was called Sabers, but I don't know if you can mention that. But, yeah, it was Savors, like Super Drug. And I quit that to go back to uni.

And then, so I was doing Sabers Superdrug whilst I was at uni, when I was in the beginning of the first year, like in December time. But then I quit because I realized I could not produce a film and work at the same time. Because the paper work was quite a bit and having to go to work the next day. So I was like in the midst of that. So in like from like January time and we filmed in like April, I was like, yeah, no, I'm not going to be able to film.

So I'm not going to be able to work and film at the same time. So I did that. Pardon me. So I graduated. I went to Malta and then I joined Primark. I joined Primark and I stayed there for around a year and a half and but I was

after that I did a couple of little jobs I actually did not start my I didn't actually I really did a couple of jobs in film until like from like 2020 after COVID yeah so I graduated

so so 1919 happened and then COVID happened mm-hmm So I didn't really like start straight away because COVID had stopped that. Yeah, really. Yeah. I had one year. But they always say, like, I feel like if you didn't really like, like, I found it very difficult to find a job in in film.

Like, I only run the rolls or anything. I found it very difficult. I don't know amongst other people. I just found it very difficult to find anything. And I was like, so I just did a lot of other jobs on the side. And that's typical for someone who's a creative. you will just do other things. Like, you have to, like, you've got to pay the rent.

Like, you've got to find, pay bills. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way that you graduate and film industry's waiting for you. Yeah, which is, which is unfortunate. You do get some people that, you know, are very fortunate and testing it to them. They do find the jobs and props to them, but I wasn't, I wasn't that person. I couldn't, I found it very hard to look like, I was looking for roles. I felt like a lot of them tell you to go on Facebook and look at this. And yeah, they are good resources.

But a lot of them ask for driver's license. A lot of them ask for like, you know, runner experience. And it's like, I just study the guru to try and find a job in a film in a field that I want to do. And now I can't even find it because you're asking for this experience, but I don't have the experience on set. So it's like, you know. It's the endless loop when you need experience to start, but how are you going to get it? experience so it's like you know I mean do like traineeships and stuff but

even then it was like they were you even them some of them could reject you and it was really it is really it was a waiting game so a long waiting game and you're like but I need money so I mean so my priority was to work and then on the long side me working look for those roles look for those different

things um I so come 2021 when we've just come out of COVID is I actually found a job through creative access. And they helped to work people from like bi-pac, like communities, like black Asian and like minority groups to find jobs in creative field. And they, that landed me my first job in with Label 1, Channel 4. So it was a show commissioned by Channel 4.

called five days a week. It's on Channel 4. You can check it out. And I was a runner for them. And, oh no, sorry, I'm completely, I'm completely forgetting another job I had before that. I work. Sorry, this is backwards. I, that landed, so I actually got a job with Blink Industries, as a studio assistant for their show. Oh my God. Was there another job before? yeah they said no no no no I just can't remember the show oh my god I'm just I actually can't remember the show I mean it's like the puppet it's a puppet show I don't know if you've ever watched

I probably don't know it if it's a British show uh let me just go Sesame Street no I don't know Oh not Sesame Street Um Oh what's it called I'm literally on Google now I can't even remember this is so bad

Um Don't think I'm scared that's it what is it? It was, don't come to me, I'm scared. No idea. So that was my first, at the time, I couldn't say anything about it then. But it was a really good show, really good people. But I only did one day a week because I was working in a bar at the same time as well.

So did like one day. So did it help you get any connections or perhaps opportunities for future? Well, yeah, yeah. So it actually opened the door for me to do another job. So that's, I feel like once you were in, you're in, you know what I mean? Because then I got a job with. because then it led me to the next job, which was the channel for Labor One show.

And it was, yeah, it really did help me to build myself and put myself forward for roles. For roles. So yeah, I did that and they were really good. Although I did struggle a little bit because I'd never done in a situation like that. But I got to meet some people and really work with some people. people with some people so it was really good and seeing that I wasn't it wasn't necessarily in film but one was

an animation the other one was reality TV so it's weird most of my jobs have one really reality TV and then that and I also got another job with a production company uh post-production house if you want to boost your online presents check out our digital marketing agency called trailblazed you can also enroll in a skillshare course called the 10 tips on how to succeed in your creative career, which was inspired by the podcast. Lastly, make sure to subscribe to our weekly newsletter called Creative Spotlight to stay up to date with the show and more. Links are in the show notes. Thanks. Can you maybe compare it? What is it like to work on a professional set to compare it to working at university set? In what way is it maybe different?

are massively like different to working with like maybe your peers as opposed to working with people you don't necessarily know everyone's a little bit you know you know I mean when you're working with your friends there's a little bit more you still try to hold

professionalism but obviously you know you know them and you can kind of you work things out and there's a little bit more relaxed but when you're working with people that no after in the beginning at least with most of these jobs it was very like you know in the beginning is very like professional.

You'd be professional, but at the, at the, you know, near the end of it, you're like, actually, like, you know, get along with these people and they're actually really nice. And, you know, you kind of build relationships with them. Although I don't speak to most of them now, you know, they're like, you know, I've still support them, got them on Instagrams and, you know, do, if they ever post stuff, I'm always supportive. Yeah, but I think after I did the post-production job, as it was an operations assistant, I was like, you know what,

I don't necessarily think I want to continue. Sorry, before we move on, can you say what's the difference working as a runner on a set to work as a runner in post-production job, if you were under there as well? Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. So working as a runner on a set, I mean, definitely. So when I was working as a runner,

so let's say, so it's crazy because I think I'll do it in three of stairs. I was a studio runner. And then there was a, like a runner on, and when I was a runner for, on the set for Labor 1, I was a runner actually.

So I actually did, because I was London based. They actually had me coming to the office offices and do like a little bit of admin, help them out with admin, like doing like cast, like profiles and stuff and just checking. their social videos out and stuff. So not, I did that.

So when I was working in a studio, you're working in the studio. So a lot of it, teas and coffees literally, would you like tea, coffee? Anyone need help? Just throwing myself anywhere that people might need help, cleaning up a little bit, you know? Just making sure that you're available to help wherever you can. And a lot of it, there was a lot of downtime because

obviously a lot of people, like, no, we're good, we're all right, we're fine, just, just throwing yourself out. The whole general, that's the whole general rule of like, you know, that's what keeps it all similar. That, you know, being regularly available the amount of where if somebody needed a table moved,

you're like, get coming, this not a fair, you know, just being, you know, you've got to be a lot of a yes man in these kind of jobs, you know, don't, if you're going to be like, oh, I don't want to do that. Oh, there's two heads. If I think people are going to, like, see your audience a bit of a moment or whatever. So, yeah, but the difference between, let's say,

the studio and the production, you know, it was, I don't think there was much different, actually. I mean, it was just a lot of, you know, communicating. I think the biggest difference between those two jobs and the post one is that you are in-house. I was an in-house with a production company and they, you know, you just, you know, you have radios. Oh, no, no, I think we had a phone. No, we have phones. You work with clients as opposed to, you know, so people would, you know, say, can, would buzz up and the reception would say, can you bring up a T's?

this place and bring it to this time and there was almost like a professionalism that you had to have at the same time you know it was there was a lot more of professionalism like a lot more of holding yourself up higher to them if you were on set because you know it's quite yeah yeah the professionalism is all throughout but you but i felt like with the press selection house was it was a lot more you know it was a lot more prominent and you had to be a lot more on your toes it was definitely a lot more of your services being required. There's not a lot of much downtime and a lot of cleaning as well. Because you clean me up after the suite,

you're making sure you're removing the cups when they're done. And, you know. Yeah, I understand. It was just to get an idea. But yeah, we can discuss, like, when did you then decide you do want to do that and what they're up to the word. Oh, yeah. So basically, I think after the post-production job,

I was like, because I was actually working another job as well. I was actually working in the end. And I decided that like, you know, maybe this isn't the right job for me. It was just not the best. Not the best. Yeah, that particular job was not the best. I wasn't my favorite job.

And I was like, yeah, just, you know what? I'm just going to take a little break. I went to you, I think my best did come up. So it was like, going on a hot month or birthday and i said and i think that new year's started and i was like you know what i am not going to do i don't i kind of want to swift away from film now i kind of want to take myself and i think it hit me when i was like you know what i would i want to take my performing more seriously so i although i had a bit of an issue with a job like with terms of taxes and stuff

basically like they oh this is a okay so here's what kind of kickstited is it. I basically was working Blando's and they bloody messed up because me and my twin brother are both working in the same place they put both they put one national insurance code like the national insurance they put the same

one for both of our employment when we did attack when I left because I left I basically like because what I also depending on was universal credit I wasn't receiving universal credit

but I would always like I would sign up to like like there, I went to there, like, to the one there, I went there one day to be like, oh yeah, are you guys looking? Because that's also where you can look for jobs in film as well. I mean, they don't really look much, but I thought, why not? Nothing's going to hurt if they did. And I went there and I was like, and I left a job, I left because I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to Ireland for my birthday. And I was like, do you know what? I think I'm just going to leave because, like, I'm going to leave and then I'll define the job when I come back.

I didn't actually So what they did is they actually So when I left And I was going to hope I was going to get like universe credit whatever I did them because they said That like you're still working Turns out what they meant was

Is that they thought I was still working Because my brother was using my national I was using my national interest Are you serious? Obviously my brother has his own national idea Like Yeah So he's not going to use mine

In order to like What would he? need to use mine for. There was no need to. So they made, and then when I tried to confront the company, they were like, oh, like, getting all like weird. I was like, no, users made the mistake.

I'm not going to, like, we haven't, we know our national insurance code. So whoever signed us up did whatever, made a mistake, massive mistake. And I ended up getting reversed to that. But I was trying to find a job, but I actually didn't end up. So I actually went to the university credit one day and I had a meeting and they posted about this, and they told me about this job.

I actually didn't even know. So I was actually applying for like, like intern roles and like you know for like graphics like you know places and like just any job that would get me in a running job and one day I go in and they actually said and they said what do you the guy said to me like what do what's you what's your thing and I said like oh like you know I started to take it a bit more serious I was like you know I do want to be perform I actually want to like be in front of the camera and it's like oh yeah you know universal credit is not you know they don't really post jobs like that but like but this guy he just

had like this leafling. He said like, are you going to be free tomorrow? And he went, yes. He said, actually, I think I've got a job for you. It was for this role for a theatre maker. And I was like, ooh. And it's like, yeah, you basically like get to perform and like you can make you, you devise theatre for six months. And like it was so, I was like, hold up what? Like, because the universe of credit has never put jobs out for acting or anything. So I was like, And it's like, you don't have to, you don't have to, like, audition for it. It's just like, we're going to, they're going to have the interviews tomorrow. Can you come to the interview tomorrow?

I'm going to put your name for it. I came to that interview and it was as if it was exactly what I wanted. It was like, you know, I went to this, I was already in for another interview for this, like, graphics dear, like, intern. Well, I can't even remember. It was so long ago. But I came in and turns out, like, the person interviewing me actually had met my brother, Martin and like before it was me.

And she was like, yes, I love your energy. Like, you'll be, I love your perfect for this role. I really like. And it was such an amazing. Honestly, it was like, looking back now, like the interview. I would like more interviews like that. Her name's. Big up, Clary. Like she literally like opened the door to me and like, yeah. But the only problem was is that because I was 24 and the job was primarily for people from

20, it was a kickstar role. It was from 25. Oh, actually, that's how I found side in the sidetrack. I found the post-production row for a Kickstarter. They don't do kickstaters anymore, unfortunately, which would have been really helpful for people who are looking for job roles in the film industry.

A lot of them were kick starters. So, but I don't know if they're going to bring back, but if people want to look for jobs that you can do it through Kickstarter, if they bring it back. But that's how I found this role. actually because the last one was a Kickstarter but it was it was not good that it was really bad they actually you're usually only allowed to do one Kickstarter I actually not doing two so like because the album was so yeah it was really bad so yeah I'm not even going to mention them because it's just

not worth it but it was just yeah so I actually ended up getting this for a Kickstarter but there was a whole drama because basically I turned 25 and they were trying to find it hard but you'd already accepted me when I was 24 so they knew that I was going to turn to And then they were like, so they accepted me for the job, everything. But then they said, unfortunately, we can't take you because of your age, isn't that a third. And I was like, I'm sorry, so, I've literally left my job for this. So I left my job knowing that I was, I left my job knowing I was going to start another job. But now, and so they had to fix it.

They had to get me on because I was like, this is not fair. You've made someone now I'm unemployed. So if you've done the opposite of what you're meant to be doing, which is giving me employment. So, yeah. essentially just basically just so I did that I did a kickstart route so we it got to figure that in the end I was meant to start in March I ended up actually starting in like near end of April which I was like so that's why in the whole universe that's when the whole universe credit not giving me money was a bit of a kick in the teeth because because I didn't I found that that my that my brother

had what I was using the my national insurance number he wasn't but like they had you know what I'd say from February 2020 to like May 2022 was probably like they were worse couple of months

because it was like it was so like taxes my taxes would be someone that messed up my tax like jobs weren't starting and like you know what I mean just so much

it was so bad it was it was very it was bad but then it was reflective I learned so much in them months about everything so much happened but can be a ducts account

yeah I learned how to I was literally like doing tax like chasing up for my tax I was learning how to like you know negotiate I was like I didn't realize

I had this like any je about me to like try and pardon me like to get to like oh it was so much I was doing so much in them couple of months that I was like

I was drained I was like oh my gosh when I started this job I was like I was so happy it was in the end it was one of my first performances.

Was it like performing in theatre? Yes. So essentially what happened was it was a six-month role, but five months, I mean, basically. Essentially, you devise, create, write, theatre. We had a couple of facilitators come in from different theatres, organisations, and they were coming, different people from back, Browns Day would like come in, teachers dance, teachers movement, teachers like so many different

things. Then in the end, by the six months, by the end of the month, but at the end of it, we would perform in theatre and we performed in two theatres. We performed in Camden People's Theatre. I performed in Camden's People's Theatre and I had for Camden Fringe and I performed in, yeah, new diorama theatre for Camden Fringe. And it was a, it was, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was an interesting stint, you know. Was it good performance? Yeah, I'd like to think it was. I mean, obviously, if you'd come, if I knew you would have come,

we could have seen it. But it was interesting because, you know, we had a whole, I think it was like a whole, like a whole week of performing. And it was, it was tough. Can't lie, you know, that week, it was very tough because, you know, someone who's gone, there were people, the beauty of that was,

is that there were people who had never performed, and then there were people that had performed, and it was good to get that interest in mix of people and I think I was really direct-a-hry-hers-grin people and I still up to this day talk to those people and they are hilarious, I still see some of them, they're funny people and

I just love it, I just love like, I just love that environment I just think it was such a healthy, good environment as opposed to I think film that doesn't really have necessarily that. So I just yeah, all the workshops we did or the games we played or the

knowledge that we learn or the You know, yeah, it was really interesting to see. And yeah, performing, then it led me to do other things as well. So not only that,

I didn't just perform there, performed in other places as well. Yeah, just kind of like, you know, did it help you to realize that's something you wanted to do more? Yeah,

do you know what I mean? Because I always thought to myself, oh, I can barely remember my name, let alone lines, do you know what I mean? So, like, you know what I mean?

Like, it was good to sort of, you know, get up there in front of like family and like friends or like perform and then like then they're like oh it's good you know what I mean like I mean like even then it's good to improve that and to see yourself doing just making creating stories and you know I create you know I wrote the script and like not just me but like the group I was with we created it but like just did it time to like create right and I didn't realize that I like writing like when I put my mind

to it can actually make something decent, somewhat decent at least. And yeah, it was a good show. It was a good thing. I definitely would love to do a piece with those people again. I think it would be hilarious to just get in a room with them and do that. Yeah, shortly after that followed, that kind of opened me to do wanting to do drag because I also love drag, although I've never watched a full-on, full episode of RuPaul's Drag Rays. but I love drag.

I love the drag scene. And I just was like, yeah, let's do that. So I applied for Soho Theater's drag club. And I got in and I did it. And I performed at Soho Theater. I'm not going to like, I don't know the theater. It's like a big one in Soho or a big one in London? Yeah, no, so it's like a, so it's in Soho, like near,

I can tell you where. actually, don't know the street, it's just on the server. So it's a, it's a, it's a good theatre, like, Renal Theatre. Like, people know it's a decent theatre. And they do, like, a lot of, like, queer LGBT nights and, like, a lot of, like, shows as well. Really good to, like, you know, they, they put on quite a lot. They don't, they don't just do drag labs as well. They don't just do drug shows.

They do, like, they do drag shows, but they also put on, like, comedy sketch nights, writing. Like, do you know what I mean? Group, group comedy sketched labs. So it's not just drags, comedy. It's like, you know, they have a lot. And I know, yeah, if you're interested in putting yourself forward for that, like, 100% will check their website out and put, you know, however you're done it for, I don't think it makes a difference.

People perform. And it's also an inclusive space. And they actually, what they do is if you're, you know, no, if you don't, like, if you're not working or anything or you're like, you know, you're on your best of credit, you can actually or if you've got a job that's not like like a 9 to 5

or you make over a certain amount they can happily accommodate to maybe say you can pay certain amounts you have to pay in the courses but I think it's worth it 100%. So is it where you are still working now? Yes at the moment

I work in I work at the OVic theatre that's my mate that's my bread and butter so that's like what brings in, that's what pays the bills and, you know, but then I do other things. Yours still work

as a performer, isn't it? Yeah, no, I don't perform in the old vehicle, I wish. Just a nice little front of house, just do something in the house. I don't know, I will have to check it out as well, so. Yeah, you should watch it.

The new shows, just for one day, you should come watch it, or you should come watch it for a Christmas Carol as well, when they have Christmas Carol next year at the end of the year. They have really, I think their Christmas Carol is really good I just worked with it actually it's really really fun but yeah no they

definitely do a lot of they put on a lot of shows and they try to you know I think they're inclusive inclusive theatre so they try to keep you know make everyone and do you still do then performing outside of your

regular job or in your free time yeah I mean I try I mean I try to go to like workshops and stuff it's again like film It's also relatively hard to find that actually, especially if you don't have like a spotlight. So things like spotlight or like, man, like, you know what I mean? But I think with determination and perseverance, I want to try to build that and try to get more gigs from that. I think doing more like, you know, just checking things out.

I think, I think as well with me because I've had like, I'm, be quite open on some, and I've had the things like depression and stuff. I find it hard sometimes to really put my mind to think certain things and like put my, and to really push myself forward and, you know, there'll be days where I'll just be like in bed like, like, right in, do you know what I mean? Because it's like,

I don't know whether, you know, to, you know, because I don't think I'm, you know, good enough for certain things, whatever. And I get inside my head quite a lot. But it's like I'm trying to, I'm trying to be more motivated. about it now. I do go to therapy and stuff and try to be more like open with that and try to be like

push myself forward. But it's every day at a time now. So yeah, I'm just trying to not stay too complacent being like, oh, because I've got this job now. I don't have to worry about finding in the acting gigs and stuff because ultimately I do want to perform. I do want to showcase myself and really push myself forward. But I see how that can be, you know, is very difficult, especially if you don't have

but I think like how working in the theatre does help you know seeing it and motivating me one day I recently we had the Christmas caro and there was a woman that performed she was so amazing so her name was Gemma

I only threw that name in because I feel like she's she is amazing and she was the grace of Christmas present and she just motivated me because I was you know I'm someone I've not had training in acting or anything but she hasn't either and she expressed that i mean she's probably done courses and what i'm saying is that you don't need to do all these courses and yeah drama school this and that a third i mean she's she's able to do that and she was there and she performed

brilliantly do i mean then there's nothing stopping me from being that level and especially with like i think mentioning as well i want to mention like being a black person in the creative industry is very, very, very, I don't know if you've spoken to a lot of black people in the creative industry, but it's almost as if it's impossible nearly to even get roles in there because it's just so, the industry. Do you feel like it's a barrier in the industry? Oh, absolutely. A hundred and ten percent a barrier. Like, do you know what I mean? I think it's definitely like, like way more difficult to find a job as a black person in, period, in any, job, I think, and it's like, do you know what I mean? Because I just think it's like certain people

have said images of what they want their team to look like and you don't fit that image, unfortunately. And, you know, growing up, already, I mean, my voice, people telling me that, oh, yeah, my voice sounded white and like, you know, things like, you know, things like that. I grew up having to think like that. So that's also been another barrier for me as well. So having seen that representation, and really seeing that kind of like really seeing that kind of, you know, visual sort of like motivation for me really puts me, like, takes me out of that.

And being like, you know what, actually, I can do this. You need to put myself more, need to go to more courses, need to go to more classes and just, you know what I mean? Just push myself, you know, just it's all about pushing yourself. I do think race definitely does put a barrier. But is it getting better at least? I like to think, like, Yeah, I do like to think definitely, like, as time has gone on, things have gotten better now.

But I still do feel some certain undertones. Some, like, do you know what I mean? Because it's like, do you know what I mean? People have, and I don't know, it's just, I just feel it sometimes. And I think I speak for many that kind of are in the position. Do you know what I mean? It's like, if they have someone that's in a role that they had an envision for, maybe you come in and it's like, yeah, no, I'm definitely not.

didn't fit the role. And maybe you don't, fair enough. But I like to know it's because of my performance or because of who I like, you know, I mean, because of like my talent that wasn't because that it didn't fit the role as opposed to it just being like yeah, you didn't look the part. So therefore, like, you know, I mean, we had envisioned

a white, blonde man as opposed to a black curly hair you know, guy. Yeah, the race definitely does. I actually wish I mentioned, I wanted to be, it's really an hour. I was like, but I wanted to mention more about like being black and being I think being black neurodiverse and like being in the LGBT community

really play the big part in my career in film and tea and like acting as well I think that's a big like you know because yeah I I feel like that at least in at least London is the place where this is more you know more welcomed or more how to say it embraced than maybe in parts of the route or that's not correct? I mean, I definitely think like London is trying to get there, but is it all the way there? I mean, yeah, I mean, again, we definitely have like a lot more conversations about it, about diversity and inclusion, but it really is all about whether or not the company's actually taking the initiative to do things about it.

I think it only happens when it's like bad things have happened, you know, something racist has happened or whatever things have had to have happened for them to be an intervention but to get people in and to try and make sure that when I go to a job there's people that look like me in that job as opposed to just seeing a sea of wires you know what I mean I didn't I definitely like for the past jobs that I was doing when I was in the film stuff I'd never really saw many black people in that job and that was quite sad to see because it was like I felt like I was almost like you know what I mean and having people trying to be like oh your hair looks nice can I touch it and I'm like, no, you can't.

Like, do you know what I mean? I'm not a dog. Do people say that, actually? Oh my God. Even up to this day, I mean, outside of work, like, I was out one night. Even a couple of weeks ago, some girl was like coming up to this, like, she was a white girl and she came up to my friend's hair. She's like, oh my God, I really love your hair. Can I touch your hair? I said no. And the girl said, no, you can't, sorry. She's like, oh, please. She's like, almost begging the girl. And it's like, she's like, she's like, she'll have chose, and I went, no.

We're not going. And this is, and it's like, so even so like, things like that still happen up to this day. And it's like, and then when you try to tell them like, no, you're not being racist, but if we say it, then it's like, we sound aggressive. You sound like we're trying to move. It's like, no. It must be annoying if that happens more frequently to you, obviously. Yeah. Like, I mean, it's not even just that, but like things like that are happening and just like people are just crossing boundaries. And it's just like, yeah, no, it's not. Okay. I think it's,

it definitely talks more about in the, in, in the film and performing industry than it is, and I think it's gotten, it has gotten a little bit better, but is it completely, you know, has, are there definitely changes that need to be made?

Are there things that need to be done to try to better and work, you know, more to getting people in? Yeah, absolutely. 100%. There are, there are more conversations that need to be had.

I think there are more conversations that are, you know, I think, but I also think as well that also, need to get more people of color into positions where they can write and, you know, produce and get them so that they can bring people color. Yeah, like in general, not just in front of camera, but behind the camera as well. Exactly. I know as well. So that's kind of like why I've never stepped up too far away from it, because if I can be in a position where I can bring and open more of a door for people who are of color and people from different backgrounds to do that,

that's why I'm not going to say no I'm not doing it all in total like I'd love to produce a film and bring and make a film on you know essentially bringing community then that's why like I can never say I'm fully out of it because it's like I'd do that no I need to be able to open that door for people yeah yeah I understand difficult topic but it is well it is it is it is it is it is difficult because obviously it's such a sensitive topic and obviously there are so many like different aspects to it that you know that we couldn't in an hour just cover you know i mean obviously it's so

much to talk about it's just interesting to see like how you know just obviously how i've navigated i mean obviously i'd love to you know you know check him and see where you know obviously a lot of other people. I mean, it's, sorry, I'm handling a little bit. Long story short, it's just, it is difficult, but you can either sit there and sort of let it get to you and be like, oh, I'm not going to do anything now because I know I'm at an odds already. Or you can kind of make that decision to push yourself and really say, you know what, I'm going to do this regardless of what's going to be. My mum would always tell me to, you know, you always got work. That's the right approach.

Yeah, I mean, I don't really want to go with this mixed in victimhood mentality. It doesn't really, it doesn't end well in the end. But what's the point? You're going to just be, you're going to build resentment to yourself anyway, if you're just going to look like, and it's like, do you know what I mean? And there's also, and the thing is, yes, we live in London, but London isn't the only place. So it's about doing research, boring.

I mean, there are other film industries that are also open as well. But however, I don't know if they're on the same level. Because I think all of everyone, London, has become more progressive with opening themselves in terms of, you know, when it comes to things like race, LGBT, like, do you know what I mean, neurodiverse, a lot of other industries or countries don't necessarily have that knowledge and have that openness as well. I can't say, I can only speak for London. Yeah. Let's hope that a lot of people will listen to this episode and learn something. or try to make a difference. Yeah, I feel like I have a lot more to say,

but it was like, you know, we've had that really an hour. I don't know. So crazy, but hopefully people listening to this episode, they get a chance, understand who I am. And, you know,

really just, you know, it has been amazing to sort of speak. You know, it's been, I don't know why I feel really bad, though. So, my, what are your plans? for the future, where do you want to see yourself in a few years, maybe?

I think, oh, this feels like an interview. No, it's to motivate you so that you feel like you need to live up to it. Yeah, I think I want to really work on encouraging, really work on confidence. I think for me, the past couple of years, I think my confidence has dipped a little, But despite me still talking and doing whatever, I want to really enhance my confidence and really develop myself. I want to push. I would like to, I don't want to say like, I want to be in that.

I want to engage in projects that, like, I want to engage in like, you know, opportunities that can really further my, you know, performing art skill. and really, you know, push myself, I would like to get fitter, go to the gym more. I mean, I really want to build health. I'm really incorporating health. Yeah, I mean, this is like such a good time, January. It's just now you've got the whole year where I really develop it.

But I want to enhance my health, you know, enhance healthy eating, enhanced. I'm really just push myself to really, feel healthier this year. I want to develop my writing skills and reading skills as well. I'd like to read a lot more books

and really push myself to go do the scary jobs, contact the scary directors and writers and producers and maybe give myself... Stepping out of that comfort zone. Stepping out of that comfort zone and really diving head first, you know, being like maybe give myself a day or two

where I just message all those directors and they say, yeah, and then I just... I'll just... Yeah, exactly. What you gotta do, you've got to be like, all right, give myself one day. Speaking to my friends and said, he said, um, you should,

what you should do is give yourself two days of just or like maybe, give yourself like maybe a week or something where you just or like, maybe a one day where you like, message your directors, messaging directors, this not fair, the message them saying, I'm like, I'm interested in the project this and a third and then just, yeah. And I was thinking, if I do that and I just turn off the laptop or turn off my phone and just

pretend I'm not and pretend I never messaged them or anything and then come back to it and like a day or two, like give it a day or something and see what they say or something. If they don't respond, they don't respond. But if they do respond, then you're like, yeah. But I think sometimes I get that fear and the anxiety. And I think that's kind of developed over the year. So really just wanted to work with that and just. Yeah, I understand.

I feel like that something we all. I struggle with sometimes. It's hard. Like, do you know what it is? I don't think a lot of people talk about mental health within the industry. And it really is, it can be quite a lot, especially if you're not, you're not, if you don't, if you're not someone, it's been, I don't know, it's a hard, it's a hard topic. If you're not, if you don't, if you're, if you're not someone that's like, like, quite to speak about feelings quite a lot. and like I'm someone I need to, I have to let how I know how I feel out.

Otherwise, if I let a bottle, because I did that before I, I bought things up, I bought things up, and then I just exploded. So, you know, and then it leads to breakdowns. It leads to mental health crises and I definitely have versed in that. So I don't want to put myself in that position again. So really, this year is really about checking in and maybe seeing those qualities about myself. and being like actually I want to develop those things. I want to write a play or write a short film.

Like, do you know what I mean? I really want to develop myself. And I'm someone that I'm very, also like a people pleaser as well. So I always, I find it very hard to like say no to like a night out if someone's going out. But I'm like, you know, I could use this time to write.

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, do you know what I mean? But especially if you're working as well, if you start work, it's like immensely harder to like find time for yourself because you're like, oh, God,

off. I'm like also but like you know if I can get over time I can do it or I can work like I'm being so candid right you need to start saying no more no yes saying no more to just no to those things and yes to those things but it's easier it's easier said that though yeah I think everyone can yeah I mean I can agree and before before we finish where can people follow you? Where can people see your work or if you want people to follow you? Yeah, absolutely.

So my Instagram I think my Instagram is more of that what I put, you know, most of my stuff and then there's a link tree to things. If you want to see old YouTube to like me reacted to stupid stuff. I mean, my YouTube is

like a graveyard. Like there's nothing on it. Like really truly that. I mean, it's all like holiday video is that like, well, God, they're so crudged. But I still have it because, by the, they were part of my life. But we'll have a look at you. Follow me on Instagram.

I think it's MXW, ADU. But I, I think if you put, yeah. And I'm on Facebook. Yeah, so that's like, yeah, a lot of that. I have a YouTube channel, but that's also, you can easily think there's a link in my, there's a link in my bio. If you want to check out other profiles,

like Twitters and stuff. and I have a have that, but I also have like a personal Instagram, which I think is Michael, Michael W.A. do. But yeah,

no, I'm easy accessible and like, yeah, I just want to try to be more like, you know, more for people who want to, I think, I think there's not a lot of people

as well in the industry that are neuroversion. So if there's people that are feeling like, you know, that they want to like, you know, that contact me in terms of like, if they've got,

like, want to discuss mental health or even just, newer divergent queer or like personal colour or like even anywhere anyone can speak to me but you know I'm an open book and if if people have any

acting or performing offers let's send them as well yeah absolutely like send them away like I'm gonna never consider those to a role I'll happen even I'll even audition like I'm not I'm not there but like you know if you've got any jobs for me please let me know

I'm not to apply why not you know And it's always good to, you know, if you're seeing this episode right now, I'm happy to. Always already. Yeah. So then, Michael, before we finish, is there something that you'd like to share or something I forgot to ask you? You feel like you want to say? Yeah. I think it's just important to say that, you know, I think it's, we live in a time right.

now where it's easy to compare, it's easy to, you know, and I saw his quote, comparison is the... Isn't it? Comparison is the thief of joy? Comparison is the thief of joy. Actually, I had it on my mind as well. I like the quote. I think it's maybe from Mark Twain or someone.

Yeah. And I think that really hit me because it's like, that was a lot of a thing, I think, seeing people's You know, I think when we live in such a page where Instagram, Snapchat, like, everything is so, like, people's highlight reals, this and that phone. But one thing to, and one thing that's important is that, like, you've got to understand that you are living this life for you. And this is me speaking to me as well, like, that it is hard, like, you know, when you see those things and see people. And even some people that, like, have, you know, who are younger than you may be, I'm 26. And I'm seeing people that are, like, 21, 22, 18, 19, going to these, like, you know, do you like me? doing these projects and stuff and it's easy for me to be like, oh yeah, but like actually

relishing in their joy, going to their shows, seeing it, that might actually end up in motivating to be like, I can do this then, because if they're doing it and I can do it, you know, and seeing, so like really relishing in that and really trying to really enjoy, like, just taking yourself and really checking in, when you feel those feelings, when you feel that jealousy, when you feel that comparison, really acknowledge it, like you're a human being, and allowed to feel those feelings, but don't let him stick around to the point where you maybe held

on the monomosity or angst to them. I've 100% no in my life. I've definitely felt those things and people felt it. And especially, you have no idea what's their background like. Exactly. It's just going to hurt you if you compared to

random people. Exactly. You never know what people did to get to that point. So just always like, always just be, you know, just be joyous in what they're doing because, and then because you know what? When it happens for you, I guarantee they're going to be the same. They're going to be joyful. They're going to be like, wow.

Because when I performed at Camden People's Theatre and people saw me at Soho Theater, they were like, a friend of seeing me in that element. They could see I was happy. They would see I was like, they were proud. And even my friend who have known since I was 14, she was like so proud of me. She was like, do you know what I mean? Like just seeing. that and being like just seeing me in my element and being and people even outside of that

seeing me. I was like like it's good to see, you know, you can learn and you can ask questions as well. And people and if you people are friends, they'll tell you like, you know, I like to performance. I didn't like this or this. That's fair. And I'm always open. I'm not going to sit there and, you know, not constructive criticism.

But as a matter, if I think I want to leave it with basically just try to work along, work to being to understanding yourself better and acknowledging that you are human this is also like this is going to be an overnight thing for me also like as well as things that don't happen overnight you have to put

in the work as much work as you put in is as much effort and results you will get out so if you put in a lot of work and you put in a lot of time for things you will hopefully ultimately get those opportunities to yeah yeah that's

great positive I was just saying stay positive just stay try to be positive try to be happy try to be happy that's so genuine so try to you know try to stay push yourself push positive into your life

and you know I try to do that as much as well just be positive to people even if we're not on best terms whatever it's no I never try to leave on too much of a bad note yeah that's I think that's the great point to finish with so thank you very much michael it was great to get to know you and i hope you become a big successful performer

i appreciate it thank you i mean i don't you know i just want to create i just want to be in a realm we're creating and that's that would be the dream you know constantly creating and doing things that really put me, you know, really give me the chance to create and perform. So I'm not even I'm, you know, if it, I don't want to be like this superstar, but you know, I'm not going to be saying no if I've become a superstar,

but it's like, no, no, yeah. No, I heard the same. I mean it, like, fingers crossed that it works out and you do what you like. Yeah, I'd love to do like a little sting at like the, you know, like a musical theatre or something like, do like the line

or something that'd be beautiful like I would love to do like yeah just things like that and I hope the best for you honestly I hope we could do another podcast maybe a year from now and see where we go where we're at them yeah of course we'll do a little ketchup

yeah like yeah it would be amazing to see where we're all at maybe I don't know I might even get into podcasts I might ask you questions like see where you're at on the podcast but I have this really heard thank you for like having me on your podcast

I really feel appreciated despite me being just all over the place. This is always like I enjoyed it. And I think we touched some important topics as we discussed. And you also shared some good advice that can help some people. So thank you for that. Yeah. I'm thank you. Really, I think thank you for offering that platform to really speak about those things.

Because I think a lot of the times it's never really spoken about as much. and I really hope that I've got to. I don't think I've covered it as much as I wanted to, but hopefully. That's why we can do part two in the future. Yeah, so you can't see. You're already laying the foundation. Yeah.

Yeah, thank you so much, Thomas, for this opportunity. I hope that we can do this again. And yeah, I hope we can't wait to see how this plays out. Yeah, so thank you, Michael, and I will stay in touch. All right, cool. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening.

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