Produced By - Who Made The Line: Why So Many Ambitious People Feel Behind | 159: Angela Marie D'Antonio

Starting point is 00:00:00 Just questioning those standards is something that I've started to do again and again. So I just see it with all kinds of people. Like we're measuring ourselves up against lines that we never really wanted. They were either given to us by our parents or social media or school or whatever. And this idea, people always feel like they're behind because there's this hustle culture and there's this, you've got to move fast. And these ideas that keep getting perpetuated online are doing people some harm. People are feeling like a failure.

Starting point is 00:00:28 They give up too easily. don't understand that a lot of things take longer to build than you're being told on Instagram. Those I made a million dollars in 30 days. Formulas are usually lies or it's like the one in a million person who actually pulled it off. So I feel like I'm a bit of the countercultural message. So I use that when I work with founders as well as students that I work with because I think questioning those lines and understanding what we're really trying to get at in the long run, it's something that people don't always stop and take the time to do.

Starting point is 00:00:58 Before we dive into today's episode, please hit that subscribe button. Your support helps us grow and inspire more people on their journeys. Thank you. Hello, Angela. Thank you for join us today and welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. So Angela, for those who don't know you, can you please introduce yourself?

Starting point is 00:01:20 Yeah, yeah. So my full name, Angela Marie D. Antonio. I am an executive coach and keynote speaker. I work mostly with neurodivergent founders, helping them to work with their strengths in order to help them build their businesses. And before we discuss it in more detail, we just spoke about it briefly before the recording. But can you tell us a bit about your background, such as where we come from and maybe a bit more about yourself? Because I always find it very interesting that people from all around the world can connect. We are both in different locations.

Starting point is 00:01:52 So maybe where we are from, actually. Yeah. So the Cliff Notes version, right now I live in La Grande, Oregon. So that is in the mountains of eastern Oregon. So actually not the Oregon most people think of when they think of my state. I grew up on the other side of the country, though. I am from North Carolina. So a southerner at a heart. How much more my background do you want? Why did you actually move across the states? Oh, why did I? So my husband is a professor. He teaches cultural anthropology. And so when people come out of their professorial jobs, you usually have one-year jobs. from here to there. So the first few years, we moved a lot. We actually lived a year in Dublin, Ireland. We lived a year on the coast of Maine, both of which I really loved, a year in North Carolina. And then eventually he got a permanent position here at the university in eastern Oregon. And with this experience, what's the place that you've enjoyed the most, or is it one where we are

Starting point is 00:02:48 currently now? Oh, that's a hard. I really, I really loved Ireland. I also really loved Maine. Whenever a job opens up back in Maine, for my husband, I make him apply. So that probably tells you something. It was just on the coast. It was beautiful, a very simple life. You could walk everywhere and you could eat seafood constantly, which I also enjoyed. So, yeah, I really loved that. In Ireland, I actually at the time was working as a midwife.

Starting point is 00:03:14 So that was a really interesting and kind of amazing experience as well. So all of them differ in their own right, but fun. then out of christ is there another location where would you like to try live it oh we have long-term dreams of ending up in europe my husband is a huge fan of spain so that's that's pretty high in the list beautiful weather yes yeah yeah and we have enough connections in ireland we've lived there a couple times and so that's also kind of a potential so so maybe the long-term dream my two kids are moving all over the world these days. So I imagine I'm going to go whatever keeps me close to them. And so my oldest right now is in Germany for the year. And then my youngest next year will be going

Starting point is 00:04:00 to Kyrgyzstan for a year as well. So adventures. I read on our website and I found it really cool that it's all around the world, Europe, there you are based in the US. So at least it makes great experiences. Yeah. We've raised some adventurers. So it's going to be hard to keep. close to them, but I love that they're doing it. You also reminded me when you mentioned, I think I was living in May because of the cuisine on a beach that I read recently a post about your favorite food. And honestly, I didn't know what was it, so I had to Google it.

Starting point is 00:04:32 I've never tried it. So if I've not mistaken, it's a blue crab, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So the Chesapeake Bay, like around Washington, D.C. area, has the very specific, like, blue crab and it is my favorite food. I haven't had it in probably 13 years since I've moved to the other side of the country but still I would, it's amazing. It's amazing.

Starting point is 00:04:56 I had to research it. I didn't know even it existed and is it actually so delicious because I guess it is but I cannot imagine. Yeah, it really is. I am a bit of a foodie so everywhere I go I make it a point of eating really good food but that is the one thing I keep returning to. It's still best. Well, it's definitely on my list now. And you also remind me of very cool title or another role that you've got, which is cheese associate, isn't it? And it also made me to

Starting point is 00:05:29 research if it actually exists. It does. It's pretty cool. It is. Yeah. Yeah, it is one of those weird kind of paths that I went down just for fun. Honestly, it's not, I never really thought I would be a cheese, you know, connoisseur. But I do love that. I do love. cheese and so I did it for fun. The test for it was actually quite a bit harder than I expected it to be. Yeah. So I almost, I almost didn't pass, which is even funnier. I was one of those straight A students in school, so my kids thought it was funny that I almost didn't pass my cheese exam. But yeah, it does exist. It actually comes out of Europe as well. It's not, it's not an American thing at all. I saw on the website, but out of Christy, how long does it take to, I don't know, get a certification

Starting point is 00:06:12 or do the course, and do you have to, like, study for it? I know it's a kind of interesting thing, but I'm pretty sure that anyone who hears that, you don't really get the chance to speak with someone who actually went through it. You should study for it more than I did, clearly, because I just barely slid through. There are actually three levels, and so at all of them, you have to know kind of the basics of how cheese are made

Starting point is 00:06:35 and, like, all the different sources. But at the lowest level, which is all I have at the moment, You have to know like 30 different specific cheeses inside and out, like where they came from, what they're made from, how they're aged, all of that. And that was hard. The other two levels are 100 cheeses and 300 cheeses. I don't even know there are so many cheeses. Yeah. It might be a retirement project, but I'm not sure when I would ever have time because 30 was pretty hard for me.

Starting point is 00:07:05 So I really can't imagine, especially 300. But the 300 level is called a fellowship. And my kids think the fellowship of the cheese sounds pretty amazing. Being that they're big Tolkien fans. So maybe someday. But then I have to ask you what cheese is your favorite? A plusé is my absolute favorite. I'm not going to pretend.

Starting point is 00:07:27 I have no idea. Yeah. You would have to seek it out. It's not super hard to find, but it's one of the kind of smelly French cheese but it's pretty amazing. It's very hard to get where I live. Oh, yeah. It was a really good, Triva and something that you don't really find people with such, I don't know, experience or interest. It was interesting to discuss. Yeah, that's random.

Starting point is 00:07:52 It brings us, actually, to what you focus on. A quick note before we continue. One of the things I've realized from hosting this podcast is that I spent a lot of time thinking about the conversations long after they end. That's one of the reasons I started unproduced, a solo podcast where I share ideas, lessons, observations and questions I'm still figuring out myself. If you'd like to check it out, you'll find a link in the description. Now, back to the episode.

Starting point is 00:08:26 And before we discuss it in more detail, was there like a specific moment that led you to focus on this or on this niche, if I'm not mistaken, it was. a situation with your daughter, or for the audience who don't know, can you please tell us how it started, basically your focus on this area? Yeah, yeah, I kind of, I traced back my work to an experience I had with my kid. So both of my daughters are neurodivergent, and my oldest has dyslexia and discalculia. And I was homeschooling both of them because I live in a rural area, and the school here really couldn't do for them what they needed to do. And so my oldest, we had her evaluated and she was, you know, behind on all kinds of measures behind on math. She couldn't really

Starting point is 00:09:08 spell. She had what they call slow processing. So it takes her just longer to do things than the average person. And, you know, being the type A parent that I am, I kind of pushed and pushed and pushed until I made her cry. I kept thinking that, you know, she wouldn't succeed in life altogether unless she somehow managed to meet sixth grade standards or whatever they were for that year. And I just finally, once she kind of broke down, I realized that, like, whose standards are these? Like, I started to question the standards, like, behind. Is she behind compared to what? You could argue that any person is exactly where they belong at any given time, especially a child. And she was kind of being pushed to meet standards that had nothing to do with her, her strength, who she was as a person.

Starting point is 00:09:54 And so I started to kind of question that line and kind of reformed how we educated my daughter. She is very successful by all measures now. She actually spoke at Oxford at the dyslexia conference. She right now is an ambassador for the U.S. government in Germany. So she, you know, over time has been very successful. She will go to college, but probably, you know, a few years later than most kids, but I don't ultimately in the long run, that doesn't, I don't see how that would matter. But just questioning those standards is something that I've started to do again and again. So I just see it with all kinds of people. Like, We're measuring ourselves up against lines that we never really wanted. They were either given to us by our parents or social media or school or whatever, you know, and this idea, people always feel like they're behind because there's this hustle culture and there's this, you got to move fast. And these ideas that keep getting perpetuated online are doing people some harm. People are feeling like a failure. They give up too easily. They don't understand that a lot of things take.

Starting point is 00:11:00 longer to build than you would you're being told on on Instagram those you know I made a million dollars in 30 days you know formulas are are usually lies or it's like the one in a million person who actually pulled it off so I feel like I'm a bit of the countercultural message so I use that when I work with founders as well as well as students that I work with because I think you know questioning those lines and understanding what we're really trying to get at in the long run is something that people don't always stop and take the time to do. I only agree with what you said because I also feel like that, especially now with social media, when you see people mostly sharing just the highs and the winds and the successes,

Starting point is 00:11:46 but you don't see the whole picture. You don't know what's behind it. You don't even know if it's true because it can be made up. You don't know even the context. So I'm glad that there is someone who speaks about this. And I can just say that I wish it was different as well. And although I try to keep that in mind, sometimes, of course, I somehow compare myself to others as well.

Starting point is 00:12:06 So for me, it's also a helpful reminder that you never see the whole picture. And you don't know the context either of that person or of that situation. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And what I've built by all measures has been slow in my business because I just have other things in my life that I have to, you know, I have two kids that I homeschool. I have parents that I care for. I kind of live in an rural isolated area, which makes some things difficult.

Starting point is 00:12:32 And so there's a number of things in my life that I have to choose or I choose above my work. And so I have to accept that I'm going to do it at a different pace than somebody who has a different background lifestyle, financial situation, all of that. It's a great point. And now, for example, as you say that, because first I've been following you for some time, I also done some research before the recording. And when I was, for example, reading about what you do on your website, I thought, wow, she achieved a lot. She does so many things, you know, whether it's the titles or the services you provide.

Starting point is 00:13:05 And at the same time, I can see that on LinkedIn, for example, you also share experience from your life or experiences and, I don't know, trips and stuff like that. So I thought that you've got it, you know, planned really well. And now you say that also you need to prioritize the sacrifices. So again, for people from the outside who don't know was the whole picture, they might think one thing, but they don't see what is it like actually. So it was a great point. Yeah, yeah. And I do feel some of the people, some of the success stories that people are seeing online, you're not seeing things that are behind the scenes as well that are advantages. You know, people who have, you know, a wealthy parent or there's all kinds of advantages that people are not necessarily being open about in their social media feeds either.

Starting point is 00:13:50 and then, you know, someone else is looking at them saying, why can't I be like them? And it's because, you know, you're just coming from a different set of circumstances, right? Yeah. And also as you approach this coaching work from such angle or from such a perspective, to me it's something that I haven't really seen on LinkedIn or maybe it's there. I just have a notice or I don't remember. So I find it unique. So can you be maybe a bit more specific, like how you approach work with people from this type of perspective, because as I said, I find it unique. You've got a lot of people as a coach's or people

Starting point is 00:14:26 working with others. But when it's different, when it's something that I feel like can deliver some value, I'm curious to find out more if you can share more. Yeah, yeah. Often what I walk people through, you know, of course, we start with, you know, what are your goals and where are you headed? But before we go into building a plan, we question those goals, right? Like, where do they come from. Are they yours? Are they actually something, you know, do those goals, you know, fit your life? Again, you know, depending on what your background life circumstances are, like, you need to fit them. And sadly, as a loving parent, more often than not, people's goals are coming often from their parents and not from them. So that's a big piece of it. A lot of it is

Starting point is 00:15:10 coming, you know, from social media and pressure from, you know, peers and social media. So I take a lot of time of walking people through, you know, what is their ultimate goal? You know, the, I have to make seven figures by 35 or whatever, you know, just these random lines that I think everybody has, or 20K months seems to be something that, that I keep hearing about constantly online. So, you know, just questioning those standards, if that's really necessary. Like, I mean, you can't work to a goal until you clarify what it is. So I usually walk people back through that. One of the other things I tend to do with a lot of founders is narrow their tech stack because everybody, when they, again, It's sometimes the influence of being online.

Starting point is 00:15:48 You always want to try the new thing. And you lose a lot of time learning the new technique, the new this, the new that. The last person I worked with was trying to build this very complicated sales funnel. And my background is in sales when, you know, honestly, sending some emails would have been easier and just gotten it done. Like, I just feel like people don't understand that they're, you know, I was in the community years ago that when we were opening new businesses and they were like, next week, email 100 people that you know and just tell them like, hey, I have this new business and this is what I'm doing now. And so like, you know, people from high school and people from like, you find 100 people you know and you just send them an email to catch up basically, which was fun because

Starting point is 00:16:30 I got to catch up with friends. But also just by putting the information out there to 100 people, there were people that were like, oh, I need that or I have a friend who needs that or, you know, that brought me business. And everybody, you know, I feel like people don't want to, first of all, just talk to people. It's much easier to sit behind your computer at home or in the cafe or, you know, have that remote solopreneur life that people, that everyone kind of loves to, to want to have. But, you know, you don't need to build a complicated funnel. You don't need an AI automation. You don't need a, I mean, honestly, you just, a hundred emails will actually usually get you more business. And that same person as well, I convinced them just to put a post on

Starting point is 00:17:08 LinkedIn that said, hey, I have a few spots for new clients. And they got new clients from one LinkedIn post, right? Instead of building a complicated, you know, buying three products. And so I usually walk people back through a lot of that and simplify their processes. Another thing that I find that a lot of people do is they will overbuild something without knowing that the market wants it, right? They'll build the perfect course and make all the videos and do all, you know, and they haven't validated yet. They don't know that somebody's actually going to buy that product. And part of it is, you know, imposter syndrome and fear and keeping them from actually going out there. They, again, want to stay behind their computer in their bedroom like I am right now instead of, you know, going out and

Starting point is 00:17:52 talking to people and making sure that's something that people actually want. And so a lot of that, so I narrow people's tech stack. I help them. I start introducing human first interactions because I think that's a piece that's missing. But also in the day of an age of AI, it's something that will differentiate you, sometimes going to that, you know, meet and greet or that conference and actually having conversations with people that will usually give more value to you than trying to, you know, reach out in the DMs. I mean, people who struggle even just to DM, which is usually where most sales happen on LinkedIn, right? But again, that's still a human-to-human interaction, hopefully, hopefully. You're not automating. There are some people, but I understand. But I understand

Starting point is 00:18:35 And at the same time, it's kind of a tough one. When you receive, I'm sure you receive it to like a lot of terrible DMs and pitches like all the time. And then you are like, okay, I don't want to be another person who does this. Everyone does that. I don't want to be like it. So I understand that it's challenging. But I guess then it's probably a point to speak with the right person, such as you, to make more quality DM or to prepare a bit better or do some kind of research to reach to the right person.

Starting point is 00:19:03 So yes, I think that's a challenging, but at the same time, if there is someone on the right to help you with that, like you, that's the right approach. Yeah, yeah. And I get a lot of inbound from LinkedIn, and I have over time. I've been very lucky. Some of it's because I had a personal network in the first place, right? People that I just knew. But the other piece was honestly DMs. And I, you know, I'm in a community. I'm sure you hear it on here with Yasmin Ali. I'm in his link up community. And there was a challenge last July that we had to send three DMs a day. And I got a decent amount of business from it. It forced me to do it because I didn't want to. But it was a challenge. was a challenge, so I did. But I have to admit that I did get a decent amount of business just from forcing myself to send three DMs a day to people. Yeah, it's a good point because even when I received those DMs, when there is one that is somehow customized, maybe creative, unique and different, yes, it's DM, it's a pitch, but at the same time, you can see that the person made effort. It may be, I don't know, made me smile or left impression that that person actually did the homework. So I don't want to say that I'm against

Starting point is 00:20:11 DMs, but if actually the person does the homework, why not? Just do it, because others do it as well, so it's... It's hard to do well. I still hand-type everyone, right? Like, I think it's, I mean, when everybody's trying to automate everything, and I'm sure, you know, if you send out a thousand automated DMs, you're going to get some return rate, but I think you're wasting your resources by doing that, you know, just talking to people like their human makes a big difference. And also it makes a big difference, for example, if you texted me and then I look at at your profile. I see not only like properly developed profile. By the way, you did a great rebrand. I remember when I was doing the research before, I saw a different profile picture and different

Starting point is 00:20:52 profile like a design. And I saw new one. I was like, wow, I don't remember this. So it looks really nice. Thank you. I just did it yesterday. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I have a friend Ubaid, who's a designer, and he does amazing work. And I feel like my whole life just got upgraded because of it. I thought it was maybe for, is it coincidence for 10K celebration or was it just? It is pure coincidence. In fact, I reached out to Ubaid last December and it took me this long to get up the information he needed to build that. Okay, okay.

Starting point is 00:21:28 Pure coincidence. It looks very nice. And I was just about to mention that on top of the profile, I would look at your content as well. And I see the chart posting, not only, of course, regularly, but I also like your content, because of the, you know, it's not like recycled personal branding advice or AI tips or this and that, but actually stuff from your life, something funny, lessons and content like that. So my advice for the people, it really makes a difference because the content is like it shows what you do.

Starting point is 00:21:58 It's something that differentiates you. And it really, I think, is worth it to put it out there. That's awesome. Thank you. I have been working on my writing on LinkedIn for two years at this point. And I'm pretty happy with where I've landed so far. Yeah. Yeah, people make sure to check it out.

Starting point is 00:22:16 And speaking of LinkedIn, Angela, do you remember the moment when you actually started on the platform? Yes, yes. So I worked sales for quite some time for a homeschool curriculum company, and I up and quit that job. And so I was left in a position of figuring out what to do. And I started tutoring students. So my daughter, who's dyslexic, I had learned the Barton. method. I'd become a literacy specialist so that I could tutor her. And so because I had that training, I then offered it to other students. And I actually still, at this time, I'm tutoring

Starting point is 00:22:50 five students kind of in the background of my business, teaching dyslexic students how to read and spell. So I first came to LinkedIn because I was building a tutoring business. And I was in a community of people that were building tutoring businesses together. And we, you know, social media is where you market your business. And so I was the only one of that community that decided to kind of go all in on LinkedIn, which was funny because Instagrams where most of the parents were. If you wanted to find students, that was where most people went. I chose LinkedIn for a few reasons. Instagram, the life of a post is really short. And I didn't want social media to take over my life. I knew that I could do LinkedIn three times a week and still get pretty good traction.

Starting point is 00:23:32 I also people tend to be a little more professional on LinkedIn and some of the vitriol that you see on other social medias isn't as bad on LinkedIn so I joined it because it was a professional thing but that was where I started building and it kind of went from there it was February of 2024 so it's been a little past two years at this point how did you then find the beginnings there was it trial and error did you have some kind of strategy I was terrible at it like anyone is when they do something new, right? I leave all my posts there on purpose because,

Starting point is 00:24:09 you know, I think it's dishonest to kind of cover it up. And it will be nice in the future to look back and just look at the progress and smile. Yeah. Well, and some of it too is so that other people can, right? People see that, you know, here I have 10,000 followers. I now have a very swanky looking profile. You know, they should be able to go back and see, you know, I was posting AI, what I'd call AI sloth at this point. And, you know, two years ago, AI was worse than it even is now. So it probably is really bad. And a lot of content that, you know, advice content, which is really, of course, with AI, anybody can find information any day, anywhere. And so there's no real value in what you're putting out there. I was putting out information about dyslexia and things. But again, there was not a lot of me in the content,

Starting point is 00:24:54 which is something that I really try to do now, as you probably know from looking at my content. I try to make sure that every post, like when I get to the end, if anyone could have written that post, then it's not done, right? It should have enough in there about me and who I am as a person that nobody else could have written that content. So I can still write, you know, information about dyslexia, but I tie it to my daughter or I tie it to my tutoring or I tie it to a student that I was working with, right? So I always try to put it through my lens. And so, yeah, I mean, if you look back, it's terrible. I actually as well, like last August, I got like very sick, like almost hospital sick. And I think there's like a week where I used AI and it's noticeable.

Starting point is 00:25:37 Like it is like, I mean, if you were to scroll back, like that week or two weeks, whatever it was, it's bad. But I mean, it is what it is. We're all learning. Did you even find that people commenting that maybe it doesn't sound like you or people didn't really notice or you don't care? Probably I was small enough that back at the beginnings, of course, that, Nobody was, and I feel like, I mean, some people now will still tell people like this is, you know, this is obviously AI, but most people don't. They just ignore you, right? It's just boring. They keep scrolling. It's something that you could get anywhere. So I do try. I'm, you know, I'm no genius at Hook still. I have, you know, friends who are way better. I think even like Victoria Michaels was on your podcast as well. She is like the master of the health. The most expensive thing goes right there. That is her. Yeah. She is like the master of the hook. I should use her help more than I do.

Starting point is 00:26:29 So I'm still weak at that, but I have fun with it too. I mean, I think you know on the weekends I have this like 50 by 50 challenge. I was going to ask you, it's such a great idea. How did you get that idea? It's so cool. Yeah, you know, because sometimes you get on LinkedIn and you're tired of it, right? And there is a lot of AI and there is a lot of everybody's telling everybody the same thing. I'm so tired of seeing people's morning routines.

Starting point is 00:26:52 And, you know, it just gets old after a while. It gets stale. And so for my 50th year, so in October I turned 50, I wanted to try 50 new things within the year. And I post these on the weekends because they're fun. And I'm trying to do 50 new things by the time I turn 50. And so those, but one of the biggest compliments I ever received is a couple weeks ago, a friend read it and said she felt like she was sitting there just talking to me. Because the voice that I use, because of course it's just, you know, it's just a little bit snarky. and a little, you know, and she's like it sounds, again,

Starting point is 00:27:26 it's exactly as if she were sitting in a room with me hearing the story, right? Which is, it's fun for me. But it also helps me keep going because I'm just doing something fun on the side as well, right? It doesn't all feel like work on there. Yeah, and exactly, I'm that person who actually enjoys and appreciates this type of content. Because when I see constantly, I know it's probably maybe my fault, don't follow those people, but branding advice and latest clot tips, there is actually, post when Angela visited the reindeer farm and shared something funny. I'm like, yeah, this is

Starting point is 00:27:57 cool. I want to see something different. And it's also great tips. Like, for me, maybe I didn't know there is such a place or it reminds me there is also life out there. So go and explore too. So I think it's creative, unique and it's fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be interesting because these posts have been so much fun for me that once I turn 50, there's going to be like a vacuum. Like, what do I do with the next year. What are some, so far, what you've done? What are some of your favorite ones? I can tell you one of the favorite ones that I wrote was about being in a driverless car.

Starting point is 00:28:32 That I did not want to do it. I did not want to do it. But I was at a conference and my friends talked to me into it. And I wanted to go out to dinner with my friends. And that was, in fact, what's funny is the two people I went with are both introverts. And they wanted to go back to the hotel room at the end of the conference. And I wanted to go out and do fun stuff. And so the negotiation was that they would come out with me that night if I would go in the driverless car.

Starting point is 00:28:56 And I literally sent my daughter a text, which I screenshot on the photo that said, you know, I'm getting an away mo. I was like, I've always loved you. That's what I texted my daughter. So that was one of the fun ones. I went on a gator ride. You can get on an airboat down by New Orleans. and they take you through the bayou and you feed alligators. That was pretty nuts.

Starting point is 00:29:22 The guy, in fact, that had our boat, like the guy that controlled the boat, he put a marshmallow in his teeth and the gator like pulled it out of his mouth. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. So, yeah, there's been some crazy, crazy adventures, some more so than others. A lot of the new things are foods because I just like trying new foods. But yeah, there's been a few really wild ones. Do you plan it by yourself or do you somehow go, I don't know, with the flow or how do you approach what you're going to do? Most of the time they just come naturally, like, because I'm just that kind of person.

Starting point is 00:30:02 If I go on a trip, I want to do all the things. And so every time I go out of town, I end up kind of getting a cadre of things for it that help fill the coffers for my 50, which is funny too because in the winter, like I slowed down because I don't travel as much in the winter because of where I live in the mountains. It's hard to get in and out of here. But every time I've gone on a trip, I've gotten three or four different things when I go out of town. It reminds me of the German village that you visited. And it made me curious. I thought, why would I build a German village in the U.S.? And I was reading about it as like, wow, because it reminds me of my first Carriverse as well.

Starting point is 00:30:45 It was really interesting. It is so strange. And what's even more strange about it is that a lot of places in America, because people from a region settled there, it takes kind of, it has culturally some things, right? like Boise is a city close to me and a lot of people from Basque country like settled in Boise. So they have like a Basque area. But that makes sense because people came. But this town in Washington, it was purely a marketing decision.

Starting point is 00:31:15 There was nobody there. Like there wasn't like a huge group of people with German heritage that just ended up in Leavenworth. It was like some guy's idea. And somehow he convinced the whole town to go in on it because they and like literally every house, every shot. Every sign, everything is like has German and is stylized. It's so strange. And it's also kind of in an isolated location in the middle of the mountains of Washington. I was able to look at the map.

Starting point is 00:31:44 And I thought, wow, it's like middle of nowhere. I wouldn't expect it there, which was interesting. Yeah. I mean, they do have mountains that kind of look, you know, a little bit like Bavaria. So I guess, I mean, that's part of the mystique. But, yeah, it's a very wild. And the thing that was so strange there is that there were so many tourists from other countries that literally came to America to see fake Germany.

Starting point is 00:32:11 Which is so odd. But if I was German, I would genuinely be curious to see that, like, what it looks like my country in a different state. So I find it so interesting, I'm so bizarre. I'd be curious. The world is a funny, funny place. I hope it at least these is people and makes them curious to check out our content on Follow You, because I'm also curious to see what's coming with the next ones.

Starting point is 00:32:40 And Angela, one of my kind of regular questions is if you've got any advice for people that want to grow on LinkedIn, because I don't want to say viral, but let's be honest, I'm sure you also get these DMs. So Angela, how to grow, how to grow followers, this and that. So what will be your advice? Yeah. So, I mean, there are people who have grown. faster than me, and there's certainly people who have a lot more followers than I do. My method has honestly been to let most of my followers come to me organically.

Starting point is 00:33:11 So I don't know if it's 50 or 100 people that you can, you know, click, connect with every week. And I think there's people on there that are going in and clickety, clickety, right, and trying to just bring people in. There is a metric. Quantity overquality. Yeah. Well, I mean, just because, I mean, I understand, especially because I actually got to 10K this week, people take you more seriously if you have. a higher follower number. So people, so everybody's doing whatever they can to just get that number up. And I stopped playing that game. People come to me organically. And then what happens for me is,

Starting point is 00:33:43 you know, they do use what's called an engagement rate. So depending on how many impressions you have, how many people either like or comment on your post. So you can look at those figures, but it also is part of the algorithm of LinkedIn, right? Like my post from yesterday about hitting 10,000 followers, has a freaky weird 33% engagement rate. So on LinkedIn, they tell you 2% is good. 5% you're like a rock star. And part of it is because they didn't show the post to very many people. And so everybody that they showed it, most of the people they showed it too actually did something with it.

Starting point is 00:34:20 And that's not, that's an unusual day. But my average engagement is between 8% and 9%. And that's actually very, very high for LinkedIn. in. But it's because my followers are literally my followers. They're not just people that I, you know, just tried to get to show up, right? I didn't go onto that network page and just start clicking connect so that I could get my numbers up. And so there are people that legitimately came to me. And I mean, again, this is the same idea as what I do in business, this idea of, you know, slow, measured growth, right? Like, I haven't engaged audience because I allowed it to come to me at

Starting point is 00:34:56 at normal speed. And so whether people are going to do that or not is up to them. But I do think that it gives me a lot more value on LinkedIn. And I think in the long run. And it is also why when I was down, I think I made my first, you know, dollar off of LinkedIn. It's somewhere like between three and four thousand followers. Like I didn't have as many as I do now, but because they were legitimate people that I knew or maybe had a convo with in the DMs or people that had just come to me because of my content, they were all people that had chosen to engage with me, right? And so being able to monetize that is a lot easier than if you have 100,000 people that, you know, you've gotten some other way. So, I mean, that's part of what I've done. So, I mean, honestly, there's a few things that I think

Starting point is 00:35:41 there are magical consistency. I have posted at least three times a week for two years. And a lot of people, you know, can't, don't do that. And I posted when I didn't like to post. I just kept doing it. kind of made a promise to myself and just did it. That consistency makes a difference. Leaning into who you are makes a difference. That's what makes you stand out, especially now in the feed. Because again, AI can make everybody looks the same. I also think there's a growing number of people like just getting on LinkedIn to try to make money because they've been told that's what you do, right? Like that's where you can make money. And so there's a growing number of people there that are kind of playing the same game. And so I think anything you can do to make

Starting point is 00:36:23 yourself stand out. There's one person on particular that I really love on LinkedIn. Her name's Magalie DeRoe. I'm probably butchering her name. But she just showed up and grew really fast, but it was because her content stands out. It's just different. She's, you know, she's snarky and smart. And, you know, she'll write a whole post about why a dog on the street that took her sandwich is better at, you know, marketing than most people on LinkedIn, right? Like just wild, wild things. But because of it's fun, it's interesting, and people want to read it, right? So there are ways to build fast, but honestly, you know, consistently is always the winning game, right? And I've, you know, I've worked on my writing. As I said, it was terrible two years ago. I've actually worked on the craft

Starting point is 00:37:09 of, you know, trying to write a better DM, trying to write a better post, and, you know, improving a little bit every day, and ultimately it pays off. That's where great points. I like to emphasize that sometimes I think, or I feel like that people think that consistency means every day, but as you really well said, even three times per week is a consistency. It doesn't matter that one person is posting daily. I don't know, five times a week, seven times a week, as long as you keep going for a long term and keep showing up, even three, two times per week. Remember that it's still consistency. That was a great point. Yeah. LinkedIn is one of the few things, and also one of the reasons I came to it,

Starting point is 00:37:47 one of the few social media is where you really can, you know, just post three times and get some traction off it, right? And also the posts live longer and longer in there now, which is also kind of brilliant. You know, sometimes a post from two weeks ago will suddenly start getting more impressions, like it'll just pop off like much later. They used to live, you know, easily for two days when I got on two years ago, but now sometimes they can live for weeks and that's also pretty awesome. That is true. I agree. And another great point with you need to be yourself and stand out, because now of course AI and how it's progressing, you see more and more content that looks just to me it feels kind of soulless because it's like the content that sometimes you like people

Starting point is 00:38:32 don't even put any effort into it. And I think that often people ask like how to stand out, be different, but I think they forget that actually it's you. It's like your competitive advantage and something that is unique to you. So find it and embrace it and outsource it to to AI or to someone else. So that was a great point. And you mentioned Magali. I spoke with her and she said a great example, I think was a post about pigeon and cigarette,

Starting point is 00:38:58 something like that completely random bite was so funny. Yeah, she is so funny. And that, I mean, again, that just brought people to her really fast. Yeah, so that was just a great point. And if there are like people listening now and maybe wondering, oh, it's easy for you to say, stand out, be unique, be different. And so if there is someone I shall think, it is what will be your maybe advice how to find that unique edge of that person who's got these questions? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:24 You know, it is funny that people, this comes up a lot, especially like in the community I'm in. I mean, every person as an individual has, that's why if you lean into what things that are uniquely you, it's something that AI can't create, right? And so I feel like also some of the younger people, you know, don't have like my breadth of, you know, experience, right? They haven't, they're not 50 and they don't have a network and they don't have, they haven't worked in sales and the things that I have that I can offer professionally. But I mean, I talk about my watercoloring. You know, I talk about, you know, there's, I saw that you like to do it over the weekend. Sorry to interrupt.

Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, there's, everybody has has a thing, right, that they're into. I mean, they're, they could be a tokey nerd. They could be into gaming. They could be, there's something. You can be, you can be into reading books. You could be into your cat. Like, I have a friend who's really weirdly obsessed with her cat.

Starting point is 00:40:18 Like, there's, is it Dan, maybe on LinkedIn? Danielle. Oh, his cats are super cute. It's not him, but I do like that. Danielle, I also, but I love cats as well. I don't want to laugh at anyone. I love them. I just jealous that I don't have one.

Starting point is 00:40:33 Yeah, but I mean, those are the things that, I mean, people and people like that because it's what makes you look like a human, right? And in some ways, when I started doing coaching, which is fairly new to me, like in 2026 is when I formally started doing executive coaching, I found that the people that were coming to me were all neurodivergent. And that wasn't, it wasn't really my intention to just like be a coach for neurodivergent people, but because of my content, because I tell people that I have ADHD, because I tell people about raising my children with their neurodivergencies, right? And so people were just attracted to me because of the pieces that I show on LinkedIn that are literally just about me, right? So, I mean, I could coach any business owner, but the people who are coming to me are either neurodivergent or they have a product or a service that is for neurodivergent individuals because that's something I talk about regularly. So it's also how you attract people into your circles that you can get on with in some ways, right? Like it's more fun for me to work with people who are neurodivergent, actually, which because I am as well. So, I mean, I don't know who says this, but, you know, your vibe attracts your tribe, right?

Starting point is 00:41:46 So just putting out there who you are as a person, you're going to find other people. There are other people out there who like gaming. There are other people out there who like watercoloring. There are other people out there who love to read. Right. And so those, there's millions of people out there. You don't have to, you don't have to be everything to everyone. You still have plenty.

Starting point is 00:42:05 there's still plenty of people to have business and they get attracted to you by you showing them who you are as a person. I agree and I like it. And you never know if someone might be afraid of sharing that. But if you're actually the person who starts talking about it, there might be others who just maybe have been hiding it or they don't want to share it and now they see you. And you become that one person that will be automatically associated with that. Plus, since it's something that you enjoy, it just makes it much easier to talk about it.

Starting point is 00:42:35 to share it and more natural. So I think that was a great piece of advice. Yeah, there was a guy on LinkedIn who posted a whole thing about how much he dislikes cheese. And there were so many comments under his thing that said, I hope Angela doesn't see this. I hope Angela doesn't see this. There were like 10 to 20 people underneath his post that mentioned me by name

Starting point is 00:42:59 underneath his posts. Well, there are some kind of fight in the comments afterwards. You know, it was very funny. But I mean, people, so people do know that about me now, right? And it's kind of an interesting piece of who I am as a person, right? I think so. I find it funny. It was you could say I was curious to discover more at the start of this conversation.

Starting point is 00:43:20 So it was really fun. And Angela, I just need to be aware of time. It flew so quickly. But what are some of your hobbies or things that you like to do in your free time? Free time. So, you know, I live in the mountains. so I do like to hike and I have a dog that I like to drag with me. What's his or her name?

Starting point is 00:43:43 Her name is Maggie. She's actually a very small dog. She's not like a hiking kind of dog, which is why I mean drag. But she does, once we get up into the mountain, she's pretty happy because she gets to wander free. So I do a lot of hiking. I, of course, I watercolour. Most of my time I just spend with my family. I have a garden in the backyard.

Starting point is 00:44:03 I tend to make a lot of, I actually, grow about 40% of my family's food in the backyard, which is a random fact. I think people probably don't know about me. So I grow a lot of our food and I make a lot of fresh food. And that's most of what my time is, is cooking and spending time with my family. It's actually a really nice, well-spend time and living by the mountains. It might be beautiful too. It's a good life. I can't complain. I'm happy to hear that. Do Angela read books in your free time? And if so, or if you've got any recommendations? I do. I am actually in a book club that, I started with a bunch of business women. We meet every Monday, which is really nice to kind of

Starting point is 00:44:40 work through stuff with other people. Part of it was because I have friends who are all over, and I just miss seeing them. So now I get to see them once a week, and that helps. But also kind of working through some things with them, it has been really helpful. The book that we started the book club with was a book called Designing Your Life, which was put out by a couple of professors from Stanford. And it has kind of been foundational in what I've built over the last couple years. It really made a huge difference for me and my trajectory. Just working through some of the questions and the problems clarified for me as well, kind of where I was going and where I wanted to be. And working through that with other people was particularly useful because it's kind of formatted so that you have a chapter and then homework and a chapter and homework. So it works really well in a group. And then we would discuss kind of what had come out of it like at the end of each week. And so it was also helpful to have other sets of eyes and other business women who are kind of of working through the same questions together. So that is a book that I really love. I read a lot of nonfiction. I'm very obsessed with learning and getting better at what I do. My friends make fun of me

Starting point is 00:45:45 because I don't read fiction. I'm always reading nonfiction. I'm trying to think through some of the ones that I've read recently that have been good. Buy Back Your Time. Dan Martel is a really good one. I am a company of one. I don't know who wrote it, but that book. I think that's finally one that I recognize. I don't know the author, but I feel like that I've come across this one, too. Yeah. Yeah, there was something in that book. There was a guy who knew how much money he needed to live for the year. And when he reached it, he would just stop working. And so, like, that particular year was August. And he just stopped working for the rest of the year. And that idea kind of broke my brain, but it has just stayed there because it started to also introduce the idea. And it's

Starting point is 00:46:26 something that these women and I talk about a lot, though, like how much is enough? Like, because especially, you know, in America, you know, and maybe elsewhere, but it's just like you, you're being successful so you have to scale. Like, that's the next step, right? Like, if you can get three clients to do this, no, not 300 and why not, you know, like, there's always this idea of more, more, more, right? And so, you know, we talk a lot about what is enough. And that concept in that book really, really stuck out to me is just deciding really how much is enough and and then stopping, right? There's other things that I can do with my time and my life and people that are important to me with those hours. I don't need to give them all to scaling my business,

Starting point is 00:47:06 right? So that was a really good one too. It's a great point because I sometimes think about it as well because you are chasing some kind of goal and then when you achieve it, you are chasing another goal. And then it becomes never a day in chase. So I try to remind myself actually to enjoy the journey because if it's fun, I know it sounds maybe a bit cliche or cheesy that, you know, enjoy the journey, don't focus on the result. But as I say, it may become never-ending chase and what you said, sometimes I feel like as well, so it's a great reminder for me to. Yeah, yeah. I'm not very good at celebrating when I reach endpoints, so that's also a piece that I need to learn myself. But those were previous books great recommendations. I will check them

Starting point is 00:47:51 out. Can you then, Angela, please summarize where people can find you, follow you, and promote any of your services? Yeah, everything that I have can be found on LinkedIn. So, you know, my writing, my newsletter, advisory work, as well as, you know, speaking engagements. I also have a website that is just about there. It is just my name, Angela Marie D'Antonio.com. So you can either find me on LinkedIn or you can find me in there either place. And check out updated LinkedIn.

Starting point is 00:48:21 You will like it. That's awesome. Thank you. Then Angela, have you got like any goals or anything that would be willing to share with us with the audience to be excited about whether it's in upcoming weeks, months or any time? Yeah, yeah. So I think I have three big things that I'm building towards. I would like to do more speaking because I love it more than anything. Traveling, meeting new people, it's the best. I am working on a book. It will probably be 2027 before it comes out. And then I have this dream. scenario where I start having in-person events for like women leader in leadership, where we get together in cool places and learn together and make some memories and just have some IRL in real life interactions. And that's kind of my dream. And I am already starting to

Starting point is 00:49:13 set up ideas of doing a starter version next June, June of 2027. So those are kind of my three big long-term goals. It sounds exciting. And fingers crossed, if it works out. And it might be a bit early, but would you be willing to tell us a little bit about the book, like a little teaser or just to say a bit? Or if it's not too early, of course,

Starting point is 00:49:35 or if you don't want to say any spoilers. Yeah, I mean, I'm slowly building it just like everything I've ever built. And it's around this idea called calm ambition. So basically that you can grow quickly without, you know, without urgency, without fear. And so it walks through some of the methods, that I use with my with my coaching clients ways in which to you know walk through your goals ways

Starting point is 00:50:01 in which to reset your day finding the smallest measurement of success that you can use the day-to-day basis some of that questioning the lines where they came from whether they're yours to even keep talking about using your strengths instead of always feeling everybody always feels like they're behind or they're missing something but everybody has something that they have that they can build with so those are some of the ideas. behind it. I have a newsletter where I'm working through some of these things. So I'm kind of working through it in real time in my newsletter and getting feedback from people who are, you know, signed on to my newsletter, which has been kind of an amazing process. It's just having some friends and

Starting point is 00:50:38 people in there that are giving me feedback on what I'm putting out and helping me shape what the book will become. Yeah. I'll be looking forward to in the future when I'm somewhere at the airport and I always check the bookstores. I'll be excited when I see yours and I will be but it's discussion. So it sounds great, like such ambitions, I like it. And of course, I hope it works out. So happy to hear that. And then Angela, very last question, is there anything I should have asked you and did not or anything you would like to share the audience with before we finish? Oh, I feel like you did a really good job. We talked a bunch of random personal stuff, which is always fun for people to learn about. And we also covered the basis of my business. So I feel

Starting point is 00:51:18 pretty good. Do good job. Happy to hear that because there are so many interesting things. And as I said, I like the content that you share on LinkedIn. So it may be curious about a lot of stuff. So I just wanted to discuss it. And I felt like, oh, my God, time goes so quickly. And there is still so much to discuss. But I genuinely enjoyed it. So of course, I want to say a huge.

Starting point is 00:51:38 Thank you. We'll be following and supporting. Keep up doing the great work because not only your mission, what you do, but I also like your positivity, mindset and reminder to enjoy life. So thank you very much for our time. That's awesome. Thank you for having me. This is fun.

Starting point is 00:51:54 Thanks for listening to Produce Buy with Tomen. Check the show notes for all the links. And don't forget to subscribe, like and share your feedback. Speak soon.

Produced By - Who Made The Line: Why So Many Ambitious People Feel Behind | 159: Angela Marie D'Antonio

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