Proven Podcast - How to Build Instant Connection - David Razowsky

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

David Razowsky joins this episode to reveal how the principles of improvisation go far beyond the stage—transforming the way we communicate, lead, and build relationships in business and life. As the former artistic director of Second City and a coach to some of the biggest names in comedy, David has spent decades mastering the art of presence, adaptability, and deep connection. In this conversation, he breaks down why improvisation isn't about being funny—it's about being fully engaged in the moment. He shares powerful insights on how reading body language, responding to energy shifts, and embracing uncertainty can help anyone become a stronger communicator, a more effective leader, and a better decision-maker. David doesn't just teach improv—he teaches awareness. He reveals why most people fail in communication (hint: they're too focused on themselves), how to instantly build rapport, and why business leaders, sales professionals, and entrepreneurs need to ditch rigid scripts in favor of real connection. Whether you're leading a team, pitching an idea, or negotiating a deal, this episode will challenge you to rethink how you show up in every interaction. David's raw, unfiltered approach will change the way you communicate—and ultimately, how you succeed. Key Takeaways: * Why improvisation is the ultimate skill for leadership, negotiation, and personal growth. * The secret to reading the room and responding to people in real-time. * How to break free from rigid scripts and build authentic connections. * The role of body language, tempo, and micro-expressions in communication. * Practical exercises to sharpen your adaptability and presence. Head over to https://provenpodcast.com/ to download your exclusive companion guide, designed to guide you step-by-step in implementing the strategies revealed in this episode. KEY POINTS: 2:11 - Connecting Emotionally: David explains why true connection starts with emotional presence. Whether in business, leadership, or personal interactions, people respond to authenticity—not scripted responses. 6:01 - Meet Them Authentically: David highlights the importance of meeting people where they are instead of forcing an agenda. He shares how adaptability and active listening create stronger relationships and better outcomes. 12:15 - Overcoming Fear: Fear stops people from taking risks, speaking up, and engaging fully. David reveals how improvisation helps break through hesitation and teaches confidence in uncertainty. 16:10 - Embrace Your Failures: Mistakes aren't roadblocks—they're the path to mastery. David discusses why failure is essential for growth and how shifting your mindset around it can accelerate success. 17:42 - Kinesthetic Response Explained: Your body reacts before your brain does. David introduces the concept of kinesthetic response—how small physical shifts reveal what people are truly thinking and feeling, and why recognizing these cues is a game-changer in communication. 39:01 - Importance of Presence: Being fully engaged in the moment is a superpower. David explains how presence leads to better conversations, deeper connections, and more effective leadership. 44:44 - Body Language Importance: Communication isn't just about words—body language, micro-expressions, and nonverbal cues shape every interaction. David shares how to read and respond to these signals for more impactful communication.

Welcome to the proven podcast where it does not matter what you think, only what you can prove. David Rizowski, the improvisation teacher and former artistic director of Second City, Los Angeles, has discovered that authentic connection and radical listening close more deals than any script ever could. The show starts now. All right, welcome back. I'm really excited to have Dave on the show. Thank you so much for being here. It's great to be here. So for a lot of people, they don't know who you are.

They don't know what you do. Let's get everybody kind of caught up for the people who've been living under Iraq. Who are you? What have you done? My name is David Ruzowski, and I teach improvisation. I have been known, and I hate this phrase. Somebody said that it's like Rizowski's the improv guru. Because what I do isn't just teach improvisation.

I teach about being aware, being in the moment, connecting, really connecting to the person that you're talking to. I wrote a book called The Subversive's Guide to Improvisation, which has shaken up a lot of the improv world because I'm saying things like improvisation isn't just about getting last. It's about connecting to people on an emotional level. And if you start out by trying to give people to make people laugh, to make people like you, the first thing that you're going to do is you're going to turn them off because they see it coming.

They just see it coming a million miles away. Most improvisation, as we talked about a little earlier, when people weren't listening to you and me, is most improvisation is crap. And it's just horrible and it's really, really hard to watch. Why? Because people are trying too hard. They're just trying too hard. Can you just for a minute be?

Can you just be for a minute? Just don't worry about what the outcome is. Just be with me for a minute. So I go around the world teaching theatrical improvisation, non-comedic improvisation, and I've got to tell you, the scenes are hilarious because everybody's being honest and truthful and in the moment.

A little bit about my background. I was in a place called the Second City, which has been called the Harvard of improvisation. The people that I worked with, we do sketch, we create improvisation scene, We create the sketch scenes, comedy scenes, through improvisation. So that means that we're writing on our feet. We're learning how to connect.

We're doing it in the moment. And the people that I work with are people like Steve Correll, Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris, Rachel Dratch. I was coached for Chris Farley. I've worked with them all, all of them. Eventually becoming the artistic director of the Second City of Los Angeles. I've been doing theatrical. I'm 65 years old.

I've been doing this since I was 10. And I am not to be screwed with because I just love what I do. And I stop caring. And the moment that I really stopped caring, I started making money. And one of the reasons that I wanted to bring you on because you're like, why are we talking improv? We improv at every moment of every day of our life. And it's about connecting.

It's about knowing your purpose. And it's showing up authentically. And, you know, we talked about this before we started recording that you and I communicate with each other in a very specific way. It's fast. It's simple. And we have to filter it a little bit here because, you know, people get upset and Apple blocks things. So this is a little bit of the filtered version of Dave and I in this one. But what I was talking about was in business, people need how to communicate like this on the fly. They need to be able to connect with their audience. You need to build rapport. You need whatever it is, if it's a negotiation or if you're selling something or if you're leading a team, there's so much of the skill set.

that you have that translates significantly better off stage than I would even say on stage. So through that and you have people, what are some of the first things you teach them other than don't try and be funny? What are some of the things that you walk and say? How do you build that connection? How do you show up authentically?

I started teaching, I teach, every day, I teach classes every single day online. And I started, I had a beginners class yesterday. And the same beginners class that I have all the time. And this is it. I am going to sit in this position, whatever it's going to be. I'm just going to sit here and you're going to look at me and you're going to assume what it is that I'm feeling in the moment that you see me. So if I'm sitting here with, I've got my hand on my chin and my eyebrows are furled like this, I look concerned.

Right. So the first thing I want to do is not to go, okay, here's the thing. Nothing comes out of my mouth that first hasn't been dipped in my heart. Think about it. You look at somebody. You empathize with them. You reach them on an emotional level. You meet them where they are.

You don't pull them to where you want to be. Because if you pull them to where you want to be, they're not going to go. The first thing it goes like, get your hands off me. So the first thing that I teach them is read your partner, emotionally read your partner, be in relationship to what you see, not what you want. Because the only source of suffering is non-acceptance. The greatest thing you could do is accept the person that's in front of you, what they're offering in that moment,

but part of it isn't the end result. It's about being in the moment. You want their money. Yeah, you want their money. Get their money, great. But you know what? That's not your purpose. Your purpose is to make an emotional connection

at the beginning, and the money will come, man. The money will come. If your goal is this, you have to eliminate their pain. If you want their profit, you have to eliminate their pain. But in order to do that,

you have to, as you just said, meet them where they are. Had that conversation. What is Susie going on with right now? How is she showing? Learning how to read those micro expressions, learning how to read body language, learning how to understand that what comes out of your face, if you say banana and somehow she's triggered by banana, you've got to be able to read her body language. Oh, I said banana and her eyes crossed or she scratched her ear or whatever the heck it is. Okay, I've triggered.

So it's, it's, I love to do that meet them where they are. You didn't say meet them where you are and drag them through. No. No. No. And one of the things that, so I was, when I was the, when I was the artistic director of Second City, I was asked by one of the most. famous improv, I'm sorry, one of the most famous theaters in Chicago, Steppenwolf Theater, where John Malkovich came in and like all the Lori Mattcap, they all came from there.

And I was asked to teach non-theatrical improvisation for them. And they turned me onto this one concept, which are called the viewpoints. And there are nine viewpoints. And the nine viewpoints, I know it sounds hyperbolic, but it codifies everything. The nine viewpoints, how you're standing, how you're sitting, how you're moving, how you're talking, what's your tempo? How, how much are you quiet? Like, it codifies every one of those things. So then when you're you're looking at somebody, I'm watching you right now, Charles, and you're nodding. And you're nodding connects with me. And that's called gesture. You're nodding. It connects with me. And you're saying, and that's a gesture. And I'm talking at this elevated tempo,

which is one of the viewpoints, right? It's one of the viewpoints, and it's an elevated tempo. And it charges you. It connects with you. And so when I teach improvisation, the first thing I do is teach this theatrical trick. And it's a rosetta stuff. The Rosetta Stone is this. How is your partner sitting? That's called shape. How are they leaning? Are they coming?

The moment that you say something, you recognize the kinesthetic response in them because you said banana. And if they, if they have a kinesthetic response to banana, you go, I'm going down the banana route. I'm going on the fucking banana route. You know? So it's modeling, right? Did you see my kinestead of response to that swear? I went, oh, the moment that they said it's got to be in the moment. moment and listening, if you are, if you're going, my plan is this, you're missing out on what's

happening now. Yes. And it's about mirroring how you interact with them and understanding because you and I talk about our tempo is very quick, the way that we have. This is just who we are. If we bring in Luzi and she talks more like this, and this is how she communicates and she slows things down, we're going to slow with it. We're going to meet where she is. We're not, as you said earlier, Meet them where they are. Don't drag them. We are trying to get there because so many people come in and are like, oh, I've got this thing. I'm going to negotiate on this.

This is my sales pitch. If the person is a 90-year-old person and they operate at this speed at this level, you've lost them. You're never going to close that deal ever. Well, you know what this is like. Now, I have a podcast called ADD Comedy with AdD Comedy of Taborzowski. The name was, I just came into it with the name. And one of the things that I noticed is when I would have a guest on and they had a a project and it was a friend of mine. Say it was a friend of mine who just did a movie. And they had a

project and I'm like, so how's it going? You know, what's going on? How are you? I know you just had a baby. And it's like, yeah, I just had a baby. And then they click into, I have to, I have to sell my product. Yeah, but the moment that I was starting to do and don't drop the soap, the toilet drama that I have, the prison drama that I have on CBS. And I got about time, time, time, time, time, just like, hey, hey, hey, hey, Donnie, where are you? You're no longer connected with me. And at that point, I don't want to have a relationship with you. And I think the same is you're not in business as well. If you're coming there's so many times I was doing intro calls.

You know this. We do intro calls before we talk to someone because we want to make sure you have rapport. I got on the call with somebody. I've known before. And he gets on the calls like, hey, what's been going on? And he's just, he's got, he just destroyed because his father's dying. For an hour and a half, we didn't talk about anything that he wanted to pitch, anything you wanted to bring on the podcast, anything I wanted to share.

Talk to about his dad. We talked about what was going on in his environment. And we connect with that because we built through a, when we did record. When we did record the podcast, it was just amazing. It has been a relationship, but it's amazing because it was connected. It spent the time to meet them where they are. And I think people do that. I don't think they have the report.

So if someone's going to learn how to do this. Can you hold that thought? Because I just want to say one thing about that. Very often when I'm asked to be on a podcast, the Pearson tells me what it is that the podcast is about. My first thought is, I'm not going to do that because we're just going to have a conversation and we're going to go where we're going to go. It's like, yeah, but there's going to be a time.

I got a bunch of questions. I don't want to see your questions ahead of time. Because if you've got a question, you've got a structure, and if you've got a structure, I'm an improviser, and I follow the shiny object. You know, I'm a crow. I'm not a train. You know, I don't go in a circle and circle. It's like, oh, my God, there's something shiny.

And so periodically, I'll do what I just did with you, which is, you know, you want to go, forgive me. But it's like, I'm inspired by what you said and you know it because of the connection that we had. But people don't know how to do that. Like, I think, you know, for you and I, for whatever reason, it's how we're, we authentically show up. There's a lot of people that are so caught up in their own crap that they're like,

oh, I've got to stay on that question. I've got to do this. And you see it, you know, you're talking about Stephen Colbert before where he's got the questions, the Stephen McHare questions about, what is your sandwich,

what is this, what is that? And he's got a very small part that he's going to have about six minutes to blast through that. And he's trying to do this tactical out, but he's trying to engage with, oh, yeah, peanut butter and jelly.

That's a good sandwich. And you know he's just struggle busing through that idea. When you want, it sucks because you're stuck that you're stuck on that train track versus, to your point, being a crow. How do we teach people to get the heck off the train tracks? How do we teach people to actually show up?

What is it, Charles? What is it that stops people from doing what it is that they're inspired to do, that they're compelled to do? It's fear. It's fear. And the moment, and here's fear. I don't know if you ever read the book, The War of Art, not the Art of War, the War of Art. The War of Art. The War of Art is about, do you ever watch what do you want to do? It's the guy who wrote Bagger Vance, the guy who wrote,

the screenplay for Bagger Vance, the War of Art. And he says there's one thing that gets in the way of what you're doing. Say that you want to be a writer. What's the first thing that most people do? I better take a writing class. Or there's a book on writing. I better take another writing class. I better have a writing part. It's like, so what is that one

thing? That one thing is called resistance. And it's resistant every single step of the way. What is it that you want? And what's stopping you? And here's the thing that you learn in improvisation. The word No doesn't mean no. And I'm not getting, you know, I'm not, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that any other than this. The word no is not, the word no is, it's, it's not going to kill you.

It's a stopping point. It's a stop sign. And when you have a stop sign, you stop and you go, what are my options now? What do I have on the table now? What is it? Because all that they said was no. They didn't say we know where you live and we know where your child goes to grammar school. We're not going to let your kid on fire. We're not going to blow up your goal. No. No, all of this. And pivot.

I don't think people even know how to pivot. I think that. So let's go, let's go to the pivot. Let's go to the pivot. When you recognize that somebody has to pivot, that moment that you pivot, you didn't expect that moment that you'd have to pivot. So what does that ask you to do? It asks you to be, it asks you to be inspired to go, how else can I look at this thing? And why don't, why am I afraid of not looking at it?

Because I don't know what's going to come next. Well, you know what? And you said it earlier. We improvise every day we improvise. And I don't know what's going to come earlier. Anybody who's watching, I'm sorry, anybody who's listening to this podcast now might have had an idea of what this is going to be like. And we just prove them wrong.

Absolutely. And they're not, and maybe they're not going to stop. And that's what I love. Because we're just going to be and be, and I'm not going to drag you where I want to do it. You're not going to. And we're going to play back and forth. It's a tennis match, but people don't have this skill.

And I think you're right. They're terrified. They're so afraid to match. I mess up. I mess up before I even get out of bank. I brush my teeth the wrong way. I mean, just it is what it is. Yeah. It's a of a woman. What was it? He goes, when you, when you're tangoing and you get tied up, you just keep tangoing on. It's the sure. Just keep going. For sure. For sure. And and nothing that we do, nothing that we know how to do, didn't come with us failing. Didn't come with us falling. We know how to walk because we learn how to fall. That's how we do it. And,

And so I'm going to tell you, if you look at the road, if you look at the road that brought you right here, having a conversation with me, I'm going to say there were five things that you were disappointed in that you pivoted that brought you to me. You have to add a zero into the back of that. I feel. There's a lot of things. Yeah, I fail. I tell us people all the time. The only way to succeed is the failure. You got to fail your way.

Absolutely. Just like we're walking. No one sits there and looks at their kid and says, oh, here's little Billy. And they fall down 10 times. like, well, that's it. We're just going to get them a wheelchair. We don't do that. He's got to figure out how to walk. 100%. Right. When somebody can't walk,

when somebody doesn't know how to walk, the first thing you don't, the first thing you don't do is look for wheelchairs for them. You go, we're going to figure out how to make you, we're going to figure out how to walk. Unless there's some chronic wrong with them. Right. And then there's ways to like that. There's things you can do with that as well.

But we don't do that. Our school system rips that out. They're like, oh, you didn't get a good grade. You're going to detention. You're a failure. They take a love of a failure. I remember I was working with a guy who was a special force guy, really nice guy. He said to yours, your fear is your shoreline. It's what's going to bring you home. Whatever you're afraid of, that's what you need to do next. It's a non-negotiable. And I think the thing right there is to go is not to think of what the circle, not to think about what the consequences are if you don't do it. That thing that scares you. You go,

that's going to scare me. That scares me. Okay. Let's just take that thing. That scares me. It's not, that scares me, which means that I might not be able to, which means I won't be able to, which means I'm going to be able to. Those things are all tenetsy. That definition of worrying. Worrying is rehearsing for something that you hope doesn't happen. And it's like, take that thing and go, because you're going to keep coming back to that. I got to do this. I got to do this. And every time you do that, that you go, this is what I'll have to do. Just bloody, do it. Hell, yes, look like an idiot, make the mistakes. Who cares? You're not going to, you're going to die one day. Sooner later, I spent eight years in a hospice watching people die. Sooner later, you're going to die.

It is what it is. This is probably not going to kill you. Not getting that deal, not having good conversations, not hitting on the girl and getting her phone number, not getting the job. It's not going to be, and you're not going to remember. Take it from someone who's failed a lot more than he succeeded. It's going to, it is what it is. So if we've got someone, we're on two things right now, right?

We've got them to say, show up where they are, meet them, they are, throw that out of the window. When you teach people, what are some of the exercises? So listen, these are bulletproof. These just work. These are proven. We know this works. Come hell or high water.

If I've got someone who's got paralysis with this, what do you walk them through? How do you make them do? Whatever they're going to do? I'll give an example. Okay. Let's say, well, first I'm going to tell, I'm going to, first I'm going to let them know about something called the kinesthetic response. Kynostatic response is something that happens physiologically to your body when, when, when,

when some kind of stimulus comes in. And the stimulus could be whatever. It could be a smell of a fart. It could be a smell of chocolate chip cookies. It could be somebody saying your name. It could be, you know, you hear a gunshot or a shot or something like that. It stops you in your tracks. It takes your breath away.

It takes your breath away. You know, because if, one of the things that I say is when your respiration changes, it's because your inspirations change. So what I will have these people do is I'll go, all right, all right, let's do this. Let's just do this. There's a lot. It's just way too much going on. Okay.

Do you ever go to overnight camp? Yep. And they'll go, no, this is the exercise. That's how good of an actor. Like, have you ever been? Have you ever been?

And someone will go, no, I never was. It's like, did you have friends going to the overnight camp? And they'll go, yeah.

And it's like, what did you like about? How, what was that like? Knowing that all your friends were going to have the summertime of going to overnight camp.

And they would just, they were, I was distracting them. And what I'm looking for in that, in that, distraction in that journey that they're going down is for this and it happens every single time Charles they're going to say a word that's going to stop them and they're going to have a con they're going to have

a kinesthetic response to something and the first thing I do is I go look what you just did you were in flow the moment that you knew that the moment that you thought that there was no product that you had to deliver or nothing that you had to show you or you were you all let's talk about the audience did you all watch him have that kinesthetic response? Did y'all watch him, fomfer, at that one word, whatever it was, whatever it was. And it's like, yeah, it's like, that's our northern star. That's the moment that we go, tell me about bathings. Like, why did that bother you? And then suddenly, they are affected by something, they're having a conversation that they didn't know they're about to have. They're investing in something that they didn't think that they were going to invest in.

I don't mean financially. I mean, giving energetically. And everybody is, walking away from something with an experience that that didn't happen before. So the first thing that I teach them is be aware of your body. And how do we do that? Being for a long, you know, I'm going to give you something. It appears that there's no, there's no risk. There's no risk. We're just, we're just talking.

We're just yammering. That's all. And if it doesn't, that's cool too. But I think, again, it goes back to what you said. It's not about you. In this situation, be enough flow of yourself, but also be the other person and see, okay, what happened there? What did they do? Did their eyebrows just shoot up?

Do they look away? They throw their arms back? What's going on? Because they're giving you signals. Everything that you just said, eyebrows is going up. That's a gesture. They move back. That's called spatial relationship.

Did their body change? It's called shape. And the more that you know going in that we are, we are expressing ourselves with our body. More than you go. Absolutely. 100%. And so when I teach people that I'm going, what if you,

what if the goal, the end goal wasn't to get a laugh? What if the end goal was just to have, just to just a land with and hang out with somebody for two minutes? And I'm not thinking, I could do that. It's like, okay,

great, that's called improvisation. But I think so many people on improv or not on stage are so focused on being the trend, right, being on that rails, this is what I have to do. I,

nine, nine, fine, I'm so stuck on this, very organized way of doing it, that just don't let go. and it screws up in business, screws up in negotiation,

screws up improv. I also think that, and we were talking about this beforehand, there are certain people who are gifted, beautiful geniuses when it comes to improv. And then there's the rest of the planet

because there are certain things you got to know that you don't make a fish climb a tree. There's certain things I just don't do. It just is what it is. I am six feet tall with size 13 feet. I cannot dunk a basketball

to save my life. I don't get out of a basketball court. I'm just not good at it. I've made peace with the fact that I am not a good basketball player. Now, you give me a baseball. I used to be able thrown at 92 miles an hour. Cool. This works. I'm not going to sit there and beat myself down and try and beat LeBron James. I'm just not good at it. So knowing that if your gifts are, hey, I'm a great improv guy, awesome. I'm a great sales guy. Awesome. I'm not a great

mechanic. Don't go be a mechanic. Get the hell out of the stage. You're just not funny. Leave. Don't be the sales guy if you suck at it. Pay someone who's the other way. But here's the thing. So I want everybody to do improvisation. And I will take anybody on. I will take anybody on. And as an improv coach, as an improv director, as an improv teacher, as an improv actor, I will play with anybody because I feel like I can connect with you on the level that you can connect with you at the place that you're going to. I don't think.

Okay. Go. So I think what you just said there was, it doesn't matter. I'm going to show up and I'm going to meet them there. and I can help and I can connect with anyone. And I think in business, people don't do that. People don't say, oh, well, this person and I, we have different backgrounds. Shut up.

What is your ability to connect? If you can connect, even if you completely disagree with each other. Because right now, we're recording this and there's some political changes going on. Even if you fundamentally disagree with the other side, don't try and agree with that. Just try and connect. If you get connected, you can lose it. I have a neighbor. He's right over there.

I have a neighbor who is of a very different. political bend than I am and it is very, very vocal and dresses the dress and wears a hat. All right. So he's my neighbor. He's my neighbor. And soul to the earth. You and I can talk about it. I got my hands three feet away.

You know, like, you and I can talk three feet with my neighbor. I could talk an inch. But there's that inch. Yes. Find the inch. And you're going to find the inch. By meeting them at there. Don't drag him to Europe.

inch. This has got really weird. No. Don't go on to your age. Go to his. It's not your inch. Right. Right. Right. So, you know, we connect. He's a chef. We love food. He's got a cat. We've got cats. I bought a guitar the other day. He's got the same exact guitar, a Martin D-15. You know, like the same exact guitar. So it's like, let's jam. It's like, let's jam. But I ain't singing some songs that you want to sing. And I don't expect you to sing the songs that I want to sing. Right. Don't force your truth upon someone else. Meet someone. No. And it's also, I'm not here for that. I'm not here for that, man.

So in business, though, when we do this, when someone trying to do this, one of the mistakes I see all the time is they're forcing their narrative, so they're not meeting the person where they are. They're not meeting. See the room where, you know, we do this in negotiation. The thing that you think is really important for your negotiation, they don't fucking care. They couldn't

possibly care in any way, shape, or form. You have to find out that, hey, if you're negotiating for this building, and in this negotiation, we're going back and forth, and this was their building, this was their thing, and say, listen, I know you don't want to leave this. This was your mother's legacy, I'm going to make sure, in contract we'll put in here, the building will be named after your mother for perpetuity forever. All of a sudden, I'm going to get that for a million dollars less than somebody else because

I identified their pain. And I did that by spending the time to connect with them and read their body language and do those things. And people think, oh, well, improv's just for stage. No, you punch. You improv every moment, every day. None of this was prepared. You just, no.

None of this is regret. And one of the goals in improvisation. in any improvisation is to make this, I'm sure that there's a, there's a meeting point here, but to make what it is that you're improvising look like it was written, is to improvise at such a level that your flow is authentic. And the way that you do that is you make sure

that everything you're about to say comes out of your heart, comes out of empathy, comes out of the feeling that you feel in the moment you feel those feelings. And the important thing, one of my mantras is, feel the feelings you're feeling the moment you feel those feelings, which means that feelings are fluid. And when they're fluid, when we understand they're fluid, and just because I'm holding on to it for a moment doesn't mean that I have to hold on to it forever because I have to be ready for something to happen that is going to throw me off that is going to make me pivot. But at that moment, that's why I'm doing this.

Yes, I'm doing it for the money. But I'm also doing it to go, I'm going to connect with you and feel what you're feeling in that moment and pivot in that moment. And if you don't connect and you don't embrace pivot, consistent pivot, you lose. I talk about us all the time. Opportunities of a lifetime only matter in the lifetime of the opportunity, period, because it's going to go and it's going to pivot out. You talk about exercises in your book, and I got access to your book and I was going through those.

Could you walk people through something that could do, even if they're just listening to this right now or watching you and I go back and forth? What are some of the exercises as you walk through that get people to go, okay, I get it, have to know how to connect. I've never been able to do that for whatever reason. They grew up and their dad used to beat them with a two-by-four, or whatever their story is, where they can divorce that story where they can sit down. and say, hey, these are exercises that I can start practicing with myself, my kids, my wife, my dog,

my husband, whatever it is, that they can start doing that really kind of start moving that needle. It sounds so simple, but it's like the next time you have a conversation with somebody, watch them, not just watch your eyes, to be present to every single bit that they move, how they move, how they look, how they're responding to you, where their eyes go. And that's all that matters. That's the greatest exercise right there. And you could do that with your partner. You can do that with your family.

Or you could just sit at a cafe and watch two people have a conversation and to be an audience member and to just assume the hell out of what the situation is. And what I mean by that. When you're not a part of it, build a story. See who's going on. Try to make it up. Absolutely. Absolutely. And recognize that whatever it is that either of those people are doing, you do it too.

Also, I think I think to that, understanding that if some book told you that when a person crosses their arms, it means this. No, each person has different triggers and different momentums and different things. I sit with my arms crossed like this when I'm listening to someone. You've already done it. We were talking about, you lean back and you folded your arms. That's just a place. And you're listening. But if you go listen to a book, they're going to tell you, oh, your arms are crossed, you're deflected.

No, that's not true for everything. When they say, how do you understand when someone's lying? Oh, they look this way. No, they don't. It's a breaking pattern. If you haven't identified their pattern, you lose. That's it. It's a breaking pattern.

And to recognize that break in pattern, to recognize when somebody has a kinesthetic response, and to recognize the evidence of that. And the evidence is like someone had their arms crossed, and then you say something and they uncrossed their arms. It's like, oh, they no longer feel that way now. Or they didn't have a gesture. They weren't doing, I'm swinging my hand in the air. They were swinging their hand in the air,

and then they suddenly went, But, you know, my mother wasn't there. And then you take the, they take their hand down and you go, mother made them stop that. Mother is where I'm going to go into this conversation. Yes. And I love, there's just massive science. This isn't stuff that we just made up.

This is science. One of my favorite exercises they do with this is they take a girl. They don't have boys to, but they take a girl, she has a cup in her hand, and she has a pat of paper. And she goes up and she says, hey, can I ask you some questions? And they say, yeah, of course. Well, can you hold this for me? She'll hand them the cup.

And she'll write down questions. She does this in two different narratives. Once with a warm cup, once with a cold cup. And then when they're done, the person walks away. Another person will go and say, listen, we just hired Susie. What was your general feeling of her? How did you feel about her? When it's a warm cup, we felt like she was warm and friendly and connected to us.

If it's a cold cup, they're like, we felt cold and distant. Human beings are predictable. There are very specific things you can do. And if you don't believe that human beings are predictable, go to any of your colleges or the library or the internet and look behavioral science. We're very... I think the lesson there. was always carry around a warm cup and give it to somebody when you're talking to them.

I think that that's a rule that we can all live with is never have a conversation with a stranger unless you give them a warm cup of something. It's funny you bring that up. When I'm sitting down and I'm negotiating deals, if I did it, the deal gets stuck and they're all going to know this now, but if the deal gets stuck, I'm like, hey, you know what guys? I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm really hungry. Do you guys know what foe is? And they're like, what, foe?

I was like, yeah. I'm like, I'm just, do we just stop? need to go eat and I will go take them for this big ball of foe and the deal will close at the table 90% of the time. My team knows when I do it. They're like, I'm going to close the deal now because it got stuff and I need something to break pattern. Absolutely. It's a simple thing. And I think one of the things, one of the ways to do that, certainly an improvisation, is to make sure that it doesn't seem like you're doing that. And for me, usually there's something where if you're really listening to somebody, you start, you start, you start accumulating in

What is it that we talked about? And the important thing is to go, like to make sure that you remember every single thing that the person has been saying and what they got to them. So that if you ever need to make a pivot, you pivot with the inventory that you have. But I do like Fah and I will go. I will, if you and I are negotiating, I am going to be a stickler at one point just so that you buy my lunch. Yeah, that's fine. I'll buy you lunch. One of the things you talk about inventory, you know, I know what I think inventory.

is. I'd love for you to break down kind of what is that inventory when you're when you're reading someone when you're trying to be there and trying to meet them where they are. What is the inventory that you're cataloging in your head? The inventory would be like what gestures do they make? How is it that they respond to me? If I notice that they aren't having eye contact with me and every once in a while I'll go, is that eye contact because they're distracted or is that eye contact because they're not confident? Is that eye contact because they're they've got some kind of chronic disease? Like that sort of thing. I will also notice how well are they listening? Because very often I'm just going to go,

if I have a kinesthetic response and they don't stop, I'm going to go, that is the way that, that is who it is that they are. So each person gets a different way of react. Each person, I respond to each person differently because I'm seeing everybody as a clean slate. There's something called tabla rasa, which is really important in improvisation. Tablerosa means an empty slate. At the beginning of every improv scene, you want to have an empty slate. You don't want to come in with a bunch of different things. Because the more things that you come in with, the more clogged you are going, I have to say this, I got to do that. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. And what's happening in all of those things. And this has to do with my book where I'm going, screw the rule. Screw the improv rules. You've got to say things. You've got to say yes. And you can't talk about people who aren't there and you can't ask questions. Like all these improv rules. So these improv rules, what are they doing? And the same thing happens in business where you can't do this, you must do this. You must do this. So while we're going through that, while we're listening, nothing that person is saying is coming through to me or very little of it's coming through to me because it's all going through filters that I've brought in because I haven't been to Pablo Rossa, all these filters that are coming in so that I'm not being my authentic self. I'm censoring myself

or I'm keeping track of, oh, I have this amount of time. I've got to accomplish this before I leave. Not them. And for those of you were watching. I'm sorry, tell you. I'll say that again. Because you're making it about you instead of about them. And for those of you who are watching the video, go back when you said Tabarasa, I tilted my head to the side. I did the dog like, and immediately was like, he doesn't know what that means. I need to strike. Because he was there. He immediately was like, oh, head tilt.

I know what that means. He just wanted to give a puppy. He's like, well, let me explain it because he doesn't know. Because he was here. Right. And you didn't say, wait a minute, Dave. I don't know what this is, Tava Rasa. I watched you do that and I wasn't watching you.

I didn't, I won't get that cue. And it's a cue, man. It's a cue. It's like in theater where you've got in theater in movies, in theater and anything, you've got a cue. I say this, you say that. But the important thing, another important thing is to go, let your partner finish what they're talking about. And that's a major thing too. Are you interrupting someone in the middle of their thought?

because you assume that what they're, you assume you know what they're going to say. And the example that I give is, there's a difference in two sentences. I love eating pears and I love eating pairs of pants. You know, you're going to want to have somebody put the full stop at the end of that to go,

how do I respond to that? Yeah. And so I eat pairs of pants. I'm like, um, you okay there? You need a hug? Right. I like pairs and you stop them there and you go,

I like pairs, too. It's like, no, you didn't let me finish talking. I like pairs of pants. Right. And then you've got massive disconnect from that point. And what will be interesting is people listening to this right now will see you and I are interrupting each other all the time. And that's our dynamic. We can do that because we feel confident. We can't finish that. Let me go back to that. Because you've already done it a couple times. Let me go back to that. Let me finish that thought. Something else I want to say. Because it's the way you and I communicate. I can't do this way of communicating with a lot of people. Because certain people, they don't play that way. Awesome. I also think that when you get two people who've done as many podcasts as you and I have done, we understand how to have an interview, how to connect with people. Because if I go back to my podcast that I did, and I stopped it when I started writing my book, I had, I don't know, I had 250 guests on it.

And if I really want to embarrass myself, I would go back to the very first interview I had, which Tom Driesen, Tom Driesen, who was a comedian who opened up for this guy, 17 years opened up for this guy, called Frank Sinatra. So he was my first guest. My first guest. And I'm listening to it. And I keep going, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

And it's like, I'm listening to going, shut up, Rizowski. Because every time you go, uh-huh, you're stopping the flow of what he wants to say. So one of the things in terms of business is go, are you going, uh-huh, or are you nodding and giving visual cues that want your partner to go on? Watch somebody who interviews, watch somebody interviewing someone. watch, I'm sorry, watch a news reporter interview someone who just got indicted for some crime. That reporter, I have a background in, I have a degree in journalism. That reporter is not going to nod.

They're not going to say, uh-huh, because they want that person to keep talking. you want your you want your client you want your customer to keep talking to keep the dialogue going I was I was in so people I work with are in the Philippines and it's a cultured thing in the Philippines they'll say uh huh yeah uh huh yeah uh huh about 15 times in my sentence and I'll stop I was like what do you mean they're like it's a sign of respect I was like no it's not you're breaking my train of thought shut there You're killing. Josh, shut.

I'm like, oh, my God. You're getting them where they are. That culture for them, that's how they communicate. For us, we're seeing as it's massively disrespectful. I just want to walk around. You're just going to shoot it for me because it drives me out of my mind. I have, I'm an improv partner that I play with,

and she and I can talk over each other in every single improv scene. But there's a skill set that you go, can I talk and can I talk and listen at the same time? And that's a skill set. And most people only talk to talk or they listen to talk. They listen to the cue. They listen to when they butt in versus again, this all comes back to meet them where they are. And you can't meet them where they are if you're not listening. And I'm not talking about listen to what they say. Listen how they move, how they're breathing. People don't get that. Where someone breathes is huge. Because when someone comes to me and because when our entrepreneurs come to me, most

entrepreneurs don't have bad days. They have days where they don't want to have me more days. They're just, it's one, it's the second highest, um, not wanting to live, because I can't say that other word because people get freaked out. I'm not wanting to live in this environment. So they'll sit there and I'll watch their breathing. Are they breathing high up? Are they breathing in their gut? You'll sit there and if you get to it, you'll get to the point where not only can see their breath, you can see their pulse and you can actually see it on where they're doing and what they're going. And as you've said, these are your cues. They're giving you bazillions of cues. Just shut up and pay attention. Just sit there and open it up long enough. Get off your

train track and get over to it. Right. So then to go back to what you were saying about like how can the average layperson use these skill sets in say business or something like that in negotiation

conversation. And what I'm getting from our conversation is this. It's like, just be present. Just watch what's going on. Just be excited that there's going to be a pivot. And if you have the confidence and coming in with the confidence, the confidence includes empathy and a skill set of

radical listening, you're going to succeed. And you're not just going to succeed in a shallow way. You're going to establish relationships that have depth, that have depth, not just depth, but width. And the width is, the depth is in your heart, the width. this in community, you're going to be able to connect with people who will connect with people. And this isn't about schmoozing, you know? Because if you come in with the idea of like, I'm going to schmooze, it's like, I see you coming a mile away, man. Everybody does. If you're trying to sell me something, everyone gets it. So when we're going through this, if we have these things, I'd still love to be able to give some people some tactical stuff. Like we sat there

and we gave them very specific things. Meet where they are, you know, learn how to read, learn how to your tactical empathy, learn how to do these things, which are, which are fine. But you've done stuff which most people can't do. You know, I've watched you improv before. I've watched shows. I've seen lessons that you've done. I've talked to people that you've taught. You have a gift of being able to do it radically quickly. So for those of you who don't know what an improv are, first off, go see an improv show. They'll sit there and people, so I want to walk out and they'll say, hey, I need the name of a person and where they are and something that's going on. And then they're going to build all of that. So the person is on stage. They have no idea what they're talking about.

They are the, they're everything. They're the director. They're the writer. They're the makeup guy. They're everything all at once. And they're doing it live while playing with someone else who's doing it at the same time. That's a skill set most individuals have it mastered. You clearly have. When we're doing this and you teach your students, what are some of the things that when you're working with your students, they're like, you know what? this exercise when we do this, this, this, and this, really kinds of move the needle for them when they're sitting in your courses. Well, there's that one that I just described.

One of the exercises that I do, the very first exercise that I do is, and maybe I talked about it, I've got a lot on my mind, because we also, I live in Los Angeles where there are fires right now. So what I'll do is, and I'm going to stand up here,

and for those people in radio, land. I'm 5 foot six, but, you know, but I'm five foot six, but let's just say I'm six foot four and I'm very muscular. That is nothing to do with anything. So what I'm going to do is this. The first thing that I did, and certainly in the class that I did yesterday, and I think we talked about it a little bit, was I'll just stand here like this. Let me just say, in the improv classes that I teach, I don't take suggestions. I don't go, give me a place, give me a thing, give me an activity. I don't do that. What I do is I just have somebody stop and just stand. and then I'll have the person that you watching this,

I say to them, what do you need to tell me based upon how I'm standing? And I like that you just literally, you just did two different poses. When you first did it, you did super person poaches. Your arms are out on the sides, handle the hips for those of you who are not watching this.

Now you've got arms are crossed, but there's a holding of an elbow. And this is important. Absolutely. There's a difference of your arms cross and folded inside each other versus arm cupping the other. the other hand.

I'm going to say this for those people who are watching it. This, I've got my hand of my arm and I've got my hand of my arm and I've got five fingers that are visible. This guy is not this guy. Now what I just said to those who are I'm watching is

I tucked my thumb into my armpit. This guy, if we start a scene like this, Charles, you're going to have one person who are watching what I'm doing. This is a different one. Okay. Now, so there's this guy, which is different than the guy that I just was a moment ago. Do you know what I did that it was differently?

Did you see what I did that was different? Yeah, if you're reversed to me, your hand went from open on the side and put back in. Right. So that guy's not that guy. So the reason I'm saying this is this. We are not, we are expressing non-verbal cues in real time. And so my first exercise is everybody is just to kind of have everybody move around a circle. This is when I'm doing a class in person.

Have everybody moved around a circle? Say there's 15 people in a class. Say everybody move around the circle. I will tap two people, which means they stay, and everybody else goes away. Now immediately, we have two people that are in relationship to each other. And I'll ask one of them, what do you, what are you compelled to say? Compel is really important. It's not what do you think you need to say? What's a funny thing to say? What do you compel to say? And say one person is looking away and the other person is looking at that person. So what do you compel to say? What is this guy compelled to say to the person looking away? way. And it's like, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Oh my God. Like, what do we have there? We've got a fantastic scene. And what do we want to do? We want all scenes to start in the middle. We don't want to say, thank you so much for coming to prom. This is really a great problem. I'm so glad that the two of us are. And that's a problem that you get in when you get a suggestion as opposed to just what are you compelled to say based upon what's in front of you right now. So when we're looking at what it is that we're doing in a business meeting, nobody is air dropped in that meeting. People walk through the door in a particular...

The kids and all that coming in. I'm not even talking about that. I'm not even talking about the michigoths that they have going on in their life. I'm talking about you're sitting in this meeting and it's like Bob's going to be here in a minute and then the door opens and you watch Bob come in and you go, up the tempo which he's walking. Did Bob say hello to me? Is Bob looking at me? Did Bob mentioned my name? Does it seem that Bob was given in from? about me based upon how friendly he is with me in this moment. Every single thing matters.

And then when Bob comes in, is Bob aiming his body away from me? Or is Bob aiming his body toward me? Because if he's aiming his body away from me, that's a different. Is that a problem? That's not a problem. This is something I have to be in relationship to. So all improvisation, I want you to be eager to respond. I don't want you to be eager to talk.

Yes. And that's a very different thing. It's very different. And it's funny because in poker, which I'm a horrible poker player, but you'll sit there and you can read who's got a good hand based on when they get their hand,

did they look at everybody else's chips? It's a tell. Yeah, it's an absolute tell. And everyone has these tells all day long. Everyone has a tell. When did I put it in a very cute way that is annoying? Is we are the Santas of Nowtown. And what that means is,

we are the Santas of Nowtown means we are giving gifts every single moment that we're connected. that may sense. I don't know what sense in the now of the top, I understand it, but you're right. We are giving away things 24 hours a day, all the time with everything we do.

Going like this, touching your nose. Right. Are you playing with your hair? If you have your hands covered in front of your crotch, and if I say, hey, you know, let's open up your hands, and then you put it behind you and cover your tachas. You're still guarding something at that point. There's something that's not resonating.

And you're creating it. So I think what you're also bringing in is this, that we've been talking about watching somebody else, but let's also talk about watching ourselves because a major part of this is how are you sitting, how are you standing, what's your gesture, what are you doing with your hands, what are you looking at,

what's your eye content, what gesture do you have on your face, what are your eyebrows doing? What's your tell? Because you're telling them. And the tell isn't necessarily a bad thing, a tell can also be a good thing. To your point, Santa of Nautown.

And we go into these things and people don't understand that you can't control an entire audience with how you're saying. For example, if you're talking to the left side of a stage and your focus to the left side of the stage, if you want to open up the right side, everybody else in the other side, just turn your hip to the side, open your leg up. You can keep talking to the left, but now your body's pointing to the right. The right has an illusion that they're now part of this conversation again. 100%. It's so interesting that you talk about that because I have to remember, and it's been several years, many years since I was on the

main stage of Second City. But the main stage of Second City, is 300, 320 seats, and you do shows, eight shows a week, and it's packed, sold out every, every single show. And what does that mean? You've got, you've got, you, you're up there on the stage by yourself, but you've got to make it so that everybody feels like they're up there with you or you're in the audience with them. And how do you do that? And it's like, you fake having eye contact with people. You fake it going, you know what I mean? It's like, I can't see you. He knows what I mean. He knows exactly.

Right, exactly. And if he doesn't know what I mean, he's like, you know what I mean. He's like, I don't know what you mean. It's like, I don't know what you mean. So tell me, why don't you? And then then you pivot to that. And you can also do identity holes. Like, you know, really, really smart people.

You're really smart guy. Really smart people buy this. You've now done an identity hole. So now it has the break that goes, well, I'm not, I am smart, but I don't really want this. But if I don't buy it, I'm now stupid, you've now locked him into it. Because, again, beans are predictable. So being able to. to learn these things about human behavior, about influence, about persuasion, about meeting them

where it is, because you've got three types. There's influence, there's persuasion, there's manipulation. The first two come down to awareness. Do they know you're doing it or not? The last one is about intent. So if you're manipulating someone, it normally is for negative intent. And if you don't think this is real for your audience and Dave's not in here, if you're a wine person, go to a wine store. If you walk into like, I don't know what I want to buy and you leave buying 10 bottles of French wine, stop and say, wait, what music are they playing? I guarantee you they're probably playing French music. And they influence you to do that.

There's a reason why the stores at a shopping center are laid out the way they're laid out. All of this makes sense. There's a reason the ice cream and the cookies is at the end because your willpower just blew out buying the other stuff and now it's ice cream cookie time. So people don't understand how predictable humans are and to your point of being Santa of downtown,

they're constantly giving things away. And if it changes the ballgame. It's like when two people are talking with each other, where are their feet pointed? If they're pointing directly at each other, Don't interrupt that conversation. Do not get in the middle of that conversation. You lose.

But you've got to watch it. And you can't just watch somebody's face or eyes. You've got to watch their entire being. Because again, the entire bee and what you just talked about there was, two people are looking at each other in this way. One of the viewpoints is spatial relationship. Spatial relationship is the distance between you and something else. It doesn't have to be a person.

But that space in between those people is alive. It's not kinetic energy. I mean, it's, you know, it's what's the opposite of kinetic energy. It's not potential energy. It's kinetic energy. It's working. It's happening. There's something going on there.

One of the other things that's really important is we talk about where culture, where people are from. You know, we talked about before with the Philippines. When you talk about distance between people, you get yourself in a situation. Facial relationship. Facial relationship. So where people, if someone is Latin or someone is India from Indian, Indians from, you know what I mean. their distance that they're going to want to be next to each other, very different than someone who is from Denmark or Sweden or Finland or even the United States.

We, as Americans, we want a very large birth. We just give me my space. Don't come close to me. If I'm in a situation down here because I live in South Florida, if when I'm dealing with a Latin culture, Venezuela, Colombia, all that, it's much closer. If I have someone because I work with a group of individuals from India, I can count the nose hairs that's in the guy's nose because we're so damn close. You have to understand that as well.

Understanding that communication is huge. Yeah, and again, we keep showing back to it. You've got to go in there with Toblerosa, with an empty slate. Because if you're bringing, and you've got to recognize, you're bringing your culture into what it is that you're doing. And those of us, but one of the things, so we go back to the idea of failure. And I was the artistic director of the second city of Los Angeles for 11, 10 years or 11 years. And there was a change in management.

And the change in management, that's odd time. and in the back of my mind I was thinking maybe it's time for me to go and when the universe wants you to clean out your locker the locker is going to be cleaned out whether you're ready to it or not and I read the writing on the wall and I decided it was time to leave

because they were kicking me out for not anything that I particularly did that I thought I did or they were able to tell me what they did but they were kicking me out so at that moment it was a feeling of what do I do now this is my livelihood. I don't have a parachute.

What do I do? And one of the things that I did was call the people that I know in foreign countries that I work with. And I said, how about I come to you? How about I bring my Michigas to Turin or to Rome or to England or to any of these, you know, Belfast? And one of the things, and I got gigs because of who, because of my, my prominence. And one of the things that I've been really, really important is to read up on these things before I come in, because part of what I'm doing is major part of what I'm doing is communication. And if I come and going, everybody speaks the way and everybody walks the way and everybody has a special relationship with the way that Americans do, you know, it's one of my first case is in Berlin. And a guy went and so I'm hired in Berlin.

I don't really know this person. And I go, how did it go? And it goes, you talk too first and you're too loud and you get everybody in his face. and I'm like, oh, that's my fault. Yeah. That's my fault. 100%. And you've got to debrief it.

Like, before I went to the Middle East or the sandbox, I was debriefed before this interaction that when a man holds another man's hand, which in the United States, we're like, I'm sorry. What? Why are you touching my hand? When a man holds another man's hand and interlaces the fingers, it is a massive sign of trust. But here in the United States, if you and I were hanging out and I reached over and I held

your hand that way, you'd be like, um, excuse me? what's happening, but because I had debriefed, and I was told about this by a handler, say, hey, this is what's going on. This is what you're walking into. When this individual held my hand, interlaced my hands, and then walked me around where we were, everyone's like, okay, don't mess with him. He's under this one's protection. There's trust there. If I wasn't debriefed on that in advance, I would have blown it because I would rip my hand away, which would kill rapport. And it's on me. It's not on someone else. It's on me to understand. Because, you know, if I go to look through things that I can do versus things,

I can't do somewhere or somewhere else. And we mess up these things all the time. People will normally give you the benefit of the doubt once. And if you open to say, like, everyone hates the French, which I don't understand why everyone hates the French, because I never had problems with the French. But when I was in France, I would say, they're like, oh, bonjour, bon-s-se, and they're like, okay, you're trying,

let's give this a shot. What are you trying to say? God bless. Since I made an effort and I'm sitting there with a book, they're like, all right, you stupid Americans. What are you doing? And I'm like, dude, I just need it. Right.

Do that. I think a major part here is also the ability to go to say this. I'm sorry. Yes. I got it wrong. Yeah, absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that. My bad.

Right. No matter what it is you're doing. And again, it goes back to fear where it's like, oh, I can't say that because then they're going to see I'm not powerful or strong and it's like I screw up. It's like, it's part of improvisation. It's part of being alive is... Yeah. Yeah, you said it's a part of being alive because at the end of the day, there's two extremes

of this. A, it's the acceptance that's part of life. And I also think B, at the end of the day, the person you roll over in the morning with Bailey doesn't care that you screwed up. They don't care. Whatever. Fine, because that person is ones that matter and going through that. So we're talking about reading body language.

We're talking about showing up vulnerable. We're talking about, you know, other things that we've gone through. When people mess up the worst in your environment where there's completely just, God, I've tried this, I'm not doing well with this. How do you help them pivot back out? Listen, I'm so collapsed by fear. How do you get them to do this in a way that's joyful for them? Because there's tactics and then there's joyful.

Hey, I want to go experience. I want to go play again because this was entertaining. How do you get them to come back after failing so far? My first question is, what are you getting out of this? What joy are you getting out of this? What is it that you enjoy doing? And then let's do more of that. and if you can't, you know, because I'm, for me, this is a fault that I have and most people accept it.

They see, some people would see it as a fault. It's like, if I'm going to see, if I'm teaching somebody and I'm looking and going, they are having an awful, awful time. I will take the time with them. People want you to take the time with them and to go, what is it that you're getting out of this? and let's talk about that. And I also will say this to them. Everything that you've gone through, I've gone through. And the only reason I'm telling you that is you're not alone.

You're not isolated. I'm watching you and I'm here for you. And I will never, ever let you go. And if it gets intense, I will say, and if somebody goes, well, I really suck. It's like, I want you to stop talking to my friend that way. what if I told you that you suck? And he goes, I'd be really mad. Then why are you telling you that?

And what it, what, now please note, what did I do? I leaned in. My tone got lower, my volume got low. Right. I was teaching a class. I was co-teaching a class with this wonderful teacher, Alexander Billings. And it was intense.

It was really, really intense. It was a bunch of college students. And they were really, like, they had a lot of energy and they had a lot of emotion. And one guy was having a nervous breakdown. And what Alex did was, she stopped everybody, turned the lights down, said to this guy, what's my name? And he goes, your head. What's my shirt?

It's burgundy. What does a clock say? It's two o'clock. What do you have on your feet? Shoes. What kind of shoes? They're converse. Great.

Bring everybody back to the now. take the moment and bring it back to the now. Let them decide. Let them decide if this is right for them. And if it's not, you know what? You want to go, go. It's okay. I also think, you know, collectively,

if there was anything that we wanted to talk about with all of this, if we had to recap it up in one thing, showing up with purpose and showing up present to this moment, not with the idea that I'm bringing you where I want you to go. I'm going to show a present,

where you are here. Yes, I got my purpose. Of course, my goal is to monetize or my goals to do whatever it is. The only way I'm going to get there. And this is something I think people fail, not only just in business, but in life. It's why making it about me. If I'm trying to show up in your life as the leading actor, I have failed. For the old people out there, be Obi-1-Kinobi. For the young people out there, be Hermione Grinchoff. I don't know. Don't try and be Harry Potter. Don't try to be Luke Skywalker. That's not your job. You want to be the best supporting actor in the scene. And the only way you can do that to what Dave's been saying this entire time is being there, reading them, being aware of things, being aware of yourself, and meeting them where they are.

There's so much of this that's, it's just not taught. And I wish it was taught. You're the only person I know who teaches the kind of the entire ecosystem. And yes, they're like, oh, it's just improv. It's not fucking improv. It's collectively everything, how we interact in our lives. If someone wants to get a hold of you and someone wants to take these classes and they want to be part of this, idea and this concept and start learning these skills which are not taught in school that are not taught

in this way to be dynamic and to be able to read body language and do all these things. If someone's like, listen, I don't want to be on improv, but I do want to learn how to do this. I want to master these communication skills so I can be successful in my life on every aspect. How do people hunt you down? How do people get a hold of you? What's the best way? I go to my website and everybody's website. Go to my website. On my website, there's a lot of material that you can have. There's a lot of connection that you have, and there's also a contact. Just send me an email, and I will send you an email. I do, most of my work is done online. I've got classes Monday. I got classes Saturday. I got classes six days a week. And that's the way to

connect to me. But certainly through my website, just to do contact there and talk to me. I also have a book, my book, you know, here's the thing about the book. You read the book, you don't read the book. One of the things about the book, when you first read the book, is a lot of the skill sets that we have in that book are about connecting to yourself, listening to yourself, being a human being. And when you're talking to people, being a human being human. And there's a lot of Buddhist stuff there without being too Buddhist-y. It's about deal with yourself with humor and compassion. but certainly the book has really proven to be something pretty phenomenal.

If anybody ever just wants to chat, I'm always willing to talk about what it is that I'm doing beforehand, but I'm a communicator. And the way that I communicate is the door has to be open. I don't go fishing. The door has to be open and anybody can walk in and talk to me about it. but that's the bottom line. If someone was trying to track down where your door is, what is your website and what is the name of the book? I'd have to do that. It's David Rosowski.com.

That's David Rosowski, S-K-Y at the end, dot com. And my book is called A Subversives Guide to Improvisation. It's available on Amazon. Or if you're interested in a signed copy, go to my website and look for signed copies of the book. Those are the two ways of doing it. And that's it for now. It's in several bookstores as well,

but the easiest way to get it is online. I think what I would encourage everybody who's listening to this, say, oh, well, I don't know improv. This isn't about improv. This is about communicating in a way that most people haven't mastered. And it'll give you such a competitive advantage on so many different levels. And these are proven things. These are things that I use.

This is a reason, because we didn't debrief on any of this. We're going to go into body language. We didn't do that at all. It's just something that has been a massive part of my success. Clearly, it's a massive part of your success and the people you've trained who have gone on to be just a little successful, just a little bit. So being able to do that, Dave, I can't thank you enough for coming on. I really

appreciate it. What a joy. And thank you for spreading the word not just what I'm doing, but what everybody else is doing because having listened to a few of your podcasts, the takeaway is this. You're kind, you're connected, and you just want people to be happy. You know, And that brings success

That brings success in its very By its very exercise. So that's great. Dave didn't theorize about human connection. He mastered it through decades of stage work In real world application. The science is clear. Humans are predictable.

Body language reveals everything And authentic presence beats performance every time.