Proven Podcast - Millionaire After Death and Divorce - Jeremy Delk

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

In this compelling episode, Charles dives deep with Jeremy Delk, a seasoned entrepreneur and venture capitalist who transformed personal tragedy into extraordinary business success. Jeremy opens up about his journey from losing his father at age seven to building multiple Inc. 500 companies, revealing how failure became his most powerful teacher. From watching his childhood stability crumble after his father's death to losing $2 million in just four days as a young trader, Jeremy's story showcases the resilience that ultimately led him to become the youngest trader in Fidelity Investments' history. He candidly shares the pivotal moment when he turned down a $600 million offer for his business—only to later sell it for just $6 million after regulatory challenges. Charles and Jeremy explore a refreshing philosophy on failure, discussing how embracing setbacks as part of your growth story creates the courage to take bigger risks. Their conversation unpacks Jeremy's approach to business losses, personal relationships, and finding fulfillment beyond traditional success markers. Jeremy's insights shine when he breaks down his coaching methodology, revealing how he helps high-achieving professionals—particularly physicians—move beyond the grind to discover real purpose. He challenges conventional thinking about success, advocating for a shift from external validation to internal fulfillment. Key Takeaways: * Learn why treating business failures with curiosity rather than despair creates unexpected opportunities * Discover how therapy and self-awareness transform personal leadership capacity * Understand the powerful distinction between outward success and genuine fulfillment * Master the negotiation strategy of listening first to identify others' true needs * See why purpose—not just profit—creates sustainable business and life satisfaction Head over to https://provenpodcast.com/ to download your exclusive companion guide, designed to guide you step-by-step in implementing the strategies revealed in this episode. KEY POINTS: 3:30 - The Ripple Effect of Loss: Losing a father at a young age forced the family into instability, highlighting the stark difference between having resources and struggling without them. 10:45 - The Power of Perspective in Business Failure: A $2 million loss in four days became a turning point. Instead of dwelling on failure, shifting the mindset toward learning from it led to a major career breakthrough. 16:15 - Breaking Emotional Barriers: Years of emotional self-protection made vulnerability seem like a weakness. In reality, avoiding it only led to isolation and deeper struggles. 23:22 - Setting the Standard for Future Generations: A therapist's advice reshaped the understanding of relationships—children mirror what they witness, making it crucial to create a loving, connected environment. 27:40 - The Truth About Success and Imposter Syndrome: Even the most successful people battle self-doubt. The key is pushing forward despite it, recognizing that no one is inherently more capable. 39:00 - Walking Away from a $600M Deal: Turning down a massive offer in hopes of reaching $1 billion led to unexpected legal battles. Instead of a life-changing fortune, the business sold for $6 million. 40:30 - Embracing Failure as the Ultimate Growth Tool: Failure isn't a setback but a training ground. The most resilient entrepreneurs are those who have lost and come back stronger.

Welcome to the proven podcast where it does not matter what you think, only what you can prove. Jeremy Delk proves failure is actually your fastest path to fortune. This serial entrepreneur built two in 500 companies within four years and has taken companies both public and private. But a secret weapon isn't avoiding mistakes. It's leveraging them. The show starts now. All right, everybody, welcome back. I'm excited about bringing Jeremy on for this one.

We're going to talk about success and failure. Some of the things that I talk about all the time, which is the only way to succeed is to fail. You're one of those people that do it better than anyone I know. So welcome to the show. Thanks so much, man. I'm excited to be here. So for the people who don't know who you are, and let's talk about your success first, and then we'll talk about all the failures and all the things that got you to that way.

So tell me why, you know, what makes you unbelievably successful? Yeah. So, you know, the CV business card, right? The, you know, two Inc. 500 companies, 24th fastest growing was the first one. And then I think this last one was like 120th fastest growing companies. two different businesses inside of four years, which is pretty cool. Taking companies public, taking them private. We invest in venture capital opportunities.

Industry agnostic, a lot in health care, have had a lot of success in real estate as well. So we've got some really cool properties down in the Caribbean and some commercial conversions to resi in the state. So yeah, so investor, venture capitalists, and I speak a little bit and do some podcasts like this. Yeah, that's, that's me. So I'm curious, did you start out successful? Like, what was your background growing up? Were you just born with the Silver Spoon and money came out of your, or did your dad give you a million dollars to start your empire?

Where are you? I wish now. So, no, so definitely not Silver Spoon. So I'm from Kentucky. I'm talking to you from Lexington today, but I grew up about an hour away called Tonkao Barge Town, Kentucky, which is like the bourbon capital of the world. So super small population. We moved there actually when I was in fourth grade.

We lived in Louisville, which is a bigger city before that. My dad unfortunately passed away when I was young, so we passed away when I was seven. And he was a mechanic, engine shop, so entrepreneur, who had his own little thing. And I always talk about this a lot. You can talk about stability, but you can't teach a kid stability. And it's hard for them to understand it, right?

Because it's like auction. It's like omnipresent. Like, are we stable, not say? Was there enough oxygen? the room like that type of thing but you can really feel instability so it was definitely the opposite so over spring like we had like a family that loved us and and you know friends and like you know aunts and uncles and all that that nuclear family and then all of a sudden just went went away so you you have the loss and that's a whole thought we can go right dive and understand like

how how you deal with loss and grief and all those things but that's one piece but it's really the ripple effect that you don't really think about that happens after. So it went from the three-bed, you know, two-nath-bath house to a smaller house, to an apartment, to a shudier apartment. So, like, that's those levels. So I think, no, it was not always successful. I got an inheritance at 30 grand when I was turning 17. And that started my career on Wall Street. And I started day trading. And I had massive success and a massive failure very early at age 20. But I think the drive for me came. out of really two main viewpoints I guess one is understanding

cognizantly like hey it sucks not having resources because that's what we were at like besides grieving all that stuff like now my mom had to go to work and like we have to figure out have aunts and babysitters who could help you know look after the two kids a seven-year-old and a two-year-old for a young single mother now so like that was like okay that was a resource or lack of resource problem fucking let's fix that shit and make a lot of money right so I think that was like the motivation piece. And I think the other, which unfortunately, you know, I had experience at a young age,

a very hard lesson that we all learn that we're not promised tomorrow. So I think that's probably that drive and then like the determination point of like, let's just go and take action is probably from that. Because like, dude, we don't know. Like who knows after this podcast what happens, God forbid, right? So I think you just got to seize every moment and every opportunity and, you know, look at it as a blessing every day you get to wake up. Yeah, I agree. People talk about us all the time about being able to succeed your way to success or fail your way to success. And I always talk about it with a child, if, you know, because you've got little ones, if you're sitting there when your little one was first learning how to walk and maybe the first 10 times she fell and, you know, she landed on her tuition. It didn't work out so well. I know you just like every other parent was like, you know what? She's never going to walk. We're going to buy a wheelchair. That's going to be the end of it. It doesn't make any sense at all. We sit down and we teach our kids from very, like, just keep going to learn how to walk. It's just unacceptable to give up. And I think.

For a lot of people, they expect that every time they go up to bat, they're going to hit a grand slam. Every time they're going to hit a home run and they're going to crush it. And that's just not the reality we're brought into. You know, I very similar to you, I did not. I came from a broken home for different reasons. You know, you ran into a little bit of different one. And then I spent eight years in hospice watching people die. People don't understand how motivating that is to really get going.

And I am grateful all the struggles and all the failures because that's what's made me successful. And there's a lot of people right now who are listening going, wait, what? you know you're you're grateful for all this pain i wasn't grateful at the time that it was how time i was like this sucks i really don't want this i would have it the other way yeah no it's it's so true and it's and it's hard to take and learn the lesson in the moment that's why i tell people like it's okay you don't have to like you know be some fake person that has like some tragedy like okay it's all great like this is meant to be like it's okay to like grieve and like when when i you know lost two million bucks in four days like i can drink myself

you know, to bed every morning, it woke up, but I mean, it was like, for like four days. And, you know, I was like, okay, this ain't fucking fixing it, right? So like, so now it's more like, all right, buddy, like cry, do it. Then get yourself through it, but just hurry up.

Whatever you, screen, punch your wallet. Just go through because once you realize that none of that's fucking productive, right? It's okay to do it, but just don't dwell on it and be cognizant enough. Like it just, the more you do that is the longer you're going to delay fixing the damn thing. There's a thing in,

in Judaism, which I'm not religious in any way, shape, or form. It's called Shiva, which means if someone dies, you've got a week. Yeah. You're not allowed to do anything. And everyone shows up and they feed you. And other than wiping your tuchas, they do everything for you. And then after the week, they're like, all right, let's go. Let's get back to it.

Let's get to it. So I think there is value in that. But you've talked about some big hits and how to go through it. You know, you've lost the parent. You've lost a ton of cash. You've, you know, you've run through these hurdles and done these things. Can you kind of give some people more ideas and dive into those a little bit deeper so that people can understand what loss and failure looks like? And then obviously because we've just heard that we heard the CV side, right?

Like, hey, the fastest growing and I've done this and I trade in and make all this money and blah, blah, blah. People always see the end. They don't see the process. They always see how the end result of the cake. They don't show the years it took to learn how to build, make that cake. So if you could share some of the trials and tribulation. Yeah, it's, you know, I always have an overnight success 25 years in the making, right? And even when I'm coaching, that's, you know, when I'm coaching clients and talking to them about, like, what's going on with their challenges, it's not like I'm that smart. And I've just read every book and I have all the fucking answers. All the answers I have are, you know, product of my environment and my experiences. And a lot of the lessons you really learn that you really keep are the ones that you get your ass gets and the failures. Like that's the piece. You don't, it's hard to learn from the success because you're just patting yourself on the back. I'm a fucking great thing. Let's face it. Most things,

including me and you, there's a massive amount of luck. Now, I would agree that, you know, you make yourself more lucky by the more, you know, reps you're doing, the more things like luck finds you. I think that's a piece, but it's just doing the actions, kind of going through and then understanding him. So I think the first big lesson is, you know, I wasn't, I told you I was drinking for four days, you know, in my townhouse I bought as a college freshman when I lost all that money. And I didn't see the lesson other than, you know, probably.

two or three years later when, well, the first lesson was I was day trading, lost all that money. But I had a condo, I had all these expenses. So I had a choice. I could like pack it in and go home with my mom or like figured out, buddy and buck up. So switched to night school and started doing things. And through, I talk about this in the book, but through a series of odd jobs, like all of that self-taught chaos, but I was so entrenched in the market. I learned a lot was like a little bit of a tool that you can't pick up. So think of it like as a, you played Zelda or playing a legend game or something like that. It's like another little thing that you pick up on your journey that's going to be valuable to you, that you don't may know it, but whatever's like,

hey, I'm a massive failure. I lost all this money. But that led me to have a conversation to my future boss at Fidelity to make me the youngest trader in Fidelity Investments history, right? That's pretty cool. It's 37 license before I even graduated college. And it was because I was this young, cocky kid, but I had a lot of market knowledge in depth, and that was very impressive. I could kind of go through and do it. So that was, like, one thing,

you don't ever know how one experience is going to lead to it. And, you know, one of my, I talk about the book, my early dreams was to kind of make it to New York, and that's what took me there, was ended up going to Wall Street. The bigger lesson,

and I think this is what people forget about with loss or failure, is, you know, you set Shiva for five days or, you know, whatever the time period is or seven days, like the three days of me drinking for four, after we go through it, like we want to block that shit out because like our humans are so, we're innately self-protective. Like, fuck, that shit sucked.

Let's not, let's not think about that. And I'm definitely not one to look at life in the rear view. But you need to look at those lessons and understand the strength that you have inside is fucking massive. Because I was the biggest, and everyone you're listening to the same thing. I was a biggest failure ever and I lost $2 million. But then I got through it and I ended up getting a job on Wall Street and going to all these things. So when it was a time for me to start Dalk Enterprises and I left my high paying job, which my mom thought I was crazy for.

Like, dude, you just fucking, you just saves yourself. What the buck's wrong with you? But it was their courage. And I asked myself one simple question. Is there a model or a scenario that if I go out and start my own company that I will lose $2,000 in four days? And the answer was no. There was no path for me to do that. Yeah.

So if I don't do that and I fucking got through it, what's the worst that can happen? I can always go back and kind of go. So you use that as the fuel and the energy and really the courage, the belief to kind of, all right, let's go through and take that next step. Because the fear is all internal. 100% of it's all what we're telling ourselves in that negative self-talk. I think that's the big driving piece. Yeah, I think when you're talking about loss and you're talking about failures, you know,

you've been around death intimately in your family. I've lost members of my family and I've been around death immensely. understanding that you dive into it and you don't live in it every single day, but you don't watch it away. It's something that you always tap into. It's something that always comes in. It's always top of mind because there's always a lesson in that. And there's this all idea that if what you resist persists. And there's times where I am just not firing all four cylinders. Well, so I'm just, as I get older, I lose cylinders. But, you know, as we go into that ballgame where I'm just not firing. And there's part of me that just wants to scream and yell and say you're a failure

and all that, and I will jump into it. I'll sit down and I will, for lack of a term, feed that wolf. And I'm like, okay, what's going on? Where am I failure? Where do I suck? What have I got? Because it's probably trying to tell me something. It's probably saying, hey, you're not prepared for this.

You're not prepared for that. So when someone's going through these, there's very specific tactics and questions I use. When you're going through these type of loss, let's go with the basic financial loss. And we talked about this before that you're not an entrepreneur until you've lost your first million. When you lose your first million, you're like, no, welcome to the club. Wait, too. Exactly.

Okay. Then when you lose your first aid, you're not. then which you reach your first 80. That's entrepreneurship. And society's made it all sexy. Yeah, yeah. You're like, like, once you lose your first million,

you're like, oh, welcome to the club. Yes, hello, hello. It is what is. It's going to happen as entrepreneurs. And it's, I've been ridden, I've rode motorcycles for years. We always talk about it. You're either in the process,

there's only two type of riders. People have gone down and people going down. If you haven't gone down yet, you will soon. Don't worry about it. If you haven't lost your first million, don't worry, you will soon. You will lose it from family betrayal,

from partner betrayal, for bad business deals. You will lose it. Just being understood, that's part of the process. It is what it is, just like we talked about the baby falling down

and busing our, but what are some of the questions you immediately address? I'm like, okay, I'm in a place where I'm spinning out. I completely don't think I'm enough. I'm completely failed. What are the ways that you go through?

So the first thing I try to do is find the humor in a bad thing. And I turn it into a curiosity. So like you, most people dwell on the thing. I just got like a bill per a million dollars. Like, I don't know, one point, let's say, is this? At one point, 13, 1.7 million for a project already there.

Like, it's more than I thought. Like, that sucks. But like, okay, I can just keep staring at it. The numbers are going to change. I keep like, wow, what am I? And then like, oh, what am I going to do? And like, you can just go down that path. Or you just like, all right, well, whatever.

Like, it's, that sucks. It'll be interesting how this works out. And then, like, you just find it. Like, I mean, the secret to being in business is just staying in business. Like stay alive, one more day, one more day in business. Because you know how things happen. Like, oh, my gosh. Like, oh, I've got nothing.

And then all of a sudden, like, literally this happened to me. This happened to me two weeks ago. I, one of the business we invested in, I see the bank accounts, but I don't really pay attention. And, you know, he wasn't doing a ton. And he changed his business model a little bit. And, like, I kind of literally was about to kind of have a conversation about, like, hey, let's just probably write this business off or I'll sell my equity back for a little bit, whatever.

And he's like, hey, you just confirm your. wire, your bank details. I'm like, why? I got 100,000. I'm wiring you for, I'm like,

oh, yes, I can, I can, so like, you just don't know what can I go through. So I turn it into a curiosity of like, this is going to be funny.

This will be interesting how it works out. And then it does. And that's kind of how it is. So you turn that in that curiosity. That's how I look at business and investments. I'm a consummate learner and I'm genuinely curious and like to create and understand and have those breakthrough. That's my coaching is so much fun for me.

Because like, you know, I do it for myself, but seeing people have those big breakthroughs of like, it's magic. You see that. You're like, yeah, now let's go. And it's really them that are doing it. So you're just helping them ask those questions and process it a bit. It's funny.

Because I've coached for years and helped strategize and scale companies. Everyone thinks that you're coaching your client. You're not. You're coaching you. You just happen to be coaching you the whole time. And they're like, oh, this is great advice. I'm like, yes, that is great advice. I follow it for myself.

I have all the time. You know, this idea of imposter syndrome. I've been honest like four times that I can possibly tell you. Every time I walk out, I'm like, why are they listening to me? Because there's always a little fear, right? That's an imposter about going, I'm just this poor kid from Hiaelia. What am I doing? Why am I here?

So staying curious is important. But when you do with loss, specifically, and we're going to get a little dark here, but when you do with death on a high level, especially at such a young age, I found ways to go through it because I was exposed from first to stranger side because I just watched it so much at hospice. And then when I was actually, when my family members died, I, I know there's certain things that I've learned that I'll speak about in a second. But what are the things that, you know, when you have death, hit you on such an intense level when it was your father?

What are the ways that now that's changed you, but also that you can process that because there's people going through massive loss. Yeah. Well, I mean, the way I actually processed it was, I mean, you know, probably mid-six figures of a lot of therapy because I didn't, I'd tell you how I not to do it. Like I did it, you know, this actually, I think it's like, great, good question. Because I don't think of I've been asked to that specificity. So what a natural instinct to do, at least what I did, was what's the best way to not get hurt again, right? Like that was the thought, right? Like, how do you not get hurt?

So it goes into like mass, like self-protection mode. And I did that fucking very successfully for years. The trick, and I can everyone write this day. down, just have no actual real connection in your life. That's that's that. And you're good. You will never ever get her, ever, just that's the answer. And that's what I was doing.

So I would have drinking it or I go, you know, probably whatever. Some people like drink because are upset or like when I forget. Like I would drink to almost feel. It's like I wouldn't allow myself to actually feel because like that shit sucks. Like let's just not feel it. So it was when I, as opposed, like, people drink. I was more like losing inhibitions to let me be vulnerable. So I think that's the piece.

So you have to look at it as nothing is happening two years for you. Like this is a process is a natural thing. Just like you're either down or going down, right? We are all headed to the same place, right? Different times of checkout, but we're all headed to the same place. So once you get comfortable with that, then I think you have to look at the same thing, just like a bad business thing, it didn't happen to you. Like, my dad died and wasn't my fault.

But there was a period of time. You absolutely thought it was. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So I think that's the, that's the way to look at, like, hey, understand this is a natural thing. Understand that your feelings are okay, and it's okay to experience them, but don't let them define you from that piece. And again, I was clearly joking about not having a meaningful relationship, but my therapist actually said this to me. And it was the most genius aha thing because I was like fighting.

I'm like, dude, no, I'm good. Like, I could love people. I can be nice. I can do that. But like, don't want to get too close or be too vulnerable because then it hurt. So the way she framed it for me, which was just like, wow, a ton of bricks was like, and this is a dark. But like, okay, you've got a kid. I've got three kids.

You've got children. Imagine, God forbid, something was going to happen to one of your. your kids in two years, three, whatever that, whatever the event is. And it's certain, like, it's going to happen. Like, it's a medical thing. It's an accident, whatever, and they're no longer with you. Like, you know that's going to happen. So by your logic, Jeremy, should you now stop loving your kid? Or, like, slow, like, yeah, it blows your mind. It's like, of course not. But that's what you're saying, if you don't want to have a meaningful, you know, or the relationship. So I think that's the piece of like, of course that, that's asinine.

So you would never do that. So you have to take that preposterous example to look back and like, no, let's just have, let's be vulnerable, let's have deep connections. And understand that all you can do is control what you can control. And that's who you love, how you love, how you love, who you are, your character, all those things. And once you get comfortable with who you are as a person and you're like, you're happy, you love yourself, you're up with yourself, then you can start loving another.

and go from there. Right. I love that. You've got individuals who are very, very successful. It's still going to get to grain a little bit to talk about it,

but how powerful therapy is. And I think therapy is the gift you give yourself. And I very similar to you, I was an individual who was like, hey, I got hurt. I'm never going to let someone else in. I'm going to build these walls.

And walls are great. They're very good at keeping people out, but they're also very good at locking you in and you isolate. And learning through my own ways and my own path through therapy of going, you know, that we are worthy of love. Because the equation is really simple.

Everyone thinks it's, if I do this, I'll be enough. And if I'm enough, I'll be worthy of love. And that's just complete shite. It's complete and utter garbage. Because if you think about the person in your life that you love the most, and you ask yourself, what does that person have to do to be worthy of my love? What do they have to, you know, or else up, the answer is nothing. But then when you reverse it and say, okay, what do I have to do?

And then you'll create this laundry list. As soon as you can break that pattern, life gets really easy. And so I love that you're strong enough to share about therapy. One of the things that I ran into a therapy was how fast therapists are to label you. How fast they're going to say, hey, you're a this, you're a that, you're a this. And how fast I wanted to have those as well. I'm like, oh, yeah, this, I am this. I had an exit strategy.

I'm like, oh, yes, I am this type of person. You can't blame me anymore. I've got my escape versus shit, I need to work on my stuff. I need to honestly. And because until you embrace radical forgiveness, until you look at you look at you in the mirror and say, hey, you know what, there are people out there who generally authentically want to love you as you are and you don't have to change the ballgame, that is a hard thing to do because you're just going to hurt a ton of people. And that's a hard lesson to learn

because you're going to push away some of the greatest gifts that you've ever had in your life. And I can, you know, for those of you are watching the video, you can see on Jeremy's face, he's experienced that as well. All done that. We have lost people who we desperately wish we did not lose. So if you haven't gone through therapy, do it now. It's a gift you give yourself. Other than the lesson she gave you, what did some of the other lessons as you, as you've gone through therapy and as you've gone through loss? Because that's really what this is about, how to survive failures, how to survive loss and become successful. What is another one that just immediately just smacks you in the face? Like, oh, wow, that, okay. Yeah, so I went

through a really bad divorce. And like, that was, that was like, I was doing therapy, like intense, like two hour sessions every day. It was like some deep shit was going through. Because I was like, go figure, obsessive entrepreneur. Like, let's just solve it. Like, let's just plug it. I can't wait a week for this. That's a fucking hammer it. I probably would have done eight hour days if she would have loved me, but probably wasn't healthy. But I struggled a lot with,

because to me, a divorce was a pretty big ultimate failure. Like, I mean, like, big. Like, you are, like, that's like it was. So I struggled, if I'm honest, with, like, what are people going to say and think, right? that was like partly it bigger the longest what took the longest was um for my kids like because everyone you've heard this so many times like parents get divorced when the kids go to college and like the kids say like dude why the fuck didn't you do that earlier like we because they

see misery but you don't know that right so so i was really struggling with that so the two things that she told me because my ex-wife and i we didn't have like we weren't like fighting or yelling and it was never talks about there was just no love or no true connection so I've got three kids, boy, girl, boy. And she just, another thing that was just like dropped the bomb on me. Like you, like what your kids see, especially your daughter, how they see your relationship with her spouse is the exact thing they're going to emulate. Absolutely.

Absolutely. So like if you have a, if that's the example you want to set and that's like a loveless, non-passion joking like I had a wid up my wife and I had a water fight last fucking like I mean that kind of playfulness is it's contagious you see it in the kids and they're kind of going through so so that

that kind of reassured me on that piece and like now and I talk about some stories in the book that really get me choked up of like you know it was a right decision because like you can see your kids like so much happier so that's number one but then the secondary piece was like what are people going to say

and it was through that breakthrough that really, I think, set me three. And I talk about all the time. Is she, like, and I say, what I say is, like, no one cares about you. And that seems harsh. But, like, they don't. They don't. They, you know what they care about is them fucking selves.

And, like, yes, you're divorced and your people know you, okay. It'll be a thing for a few days or a week. But then, like, it goes, like, the new cycle, 24-7, it just, it cycles through so quickly. and you're right and it does and I talk about that now I'm coaching so like yeah that was my fear of like

oh what do people want to say and I never looked at it in business because I always have such confidence in business that you can't beat me you fucking just can't I won't work you can't kill me I just will come

I'm relentless you cannot beat me in business so I never saw it because I never like if I had fitness I don't get to fuck like I'm just doing me so I never saw that piece from a very

what do people think what will people say until that piece, but it's actually helping in business as well when you kind of like, hey, like, I'm doing my right thing,

this is my North Star. I know I'm doing this for the right reasons, and that's it. And you're okay with it. Who cares? And I also think there's going to be times

you're going to miss your North Star. None of us are perfect. Some of our times, our characters are going to fail. We're not going to do what we, you know, the ideal version of us would do. We're going to miss fire.

And that's okay too and just having an honor with it. We talked about it in the beginning of this where it's like, if you haven't lost the million dollars yet, then, yeah, we're probably not going to be doing business together. Right. Just this is a reality.

And we expect the fairs. I would rather hire the person that just lost everything and completely screws up and learn how to come back from that than the person who's never done that because they come back stronger. And we do it in business versus anywhere else. No, I don't know if we talk about this in the green room or not, but like, yeah, 100%. Like, whenever I'm interviewing and getting pitched deals, like, especially these days, like, later

in my life, like, it's very rare. I will invest in someone that has an. went through a cycle, right? It's like you just get some scot. Like you want some grit. Like you want that. Like that's super, super important. Especially where the economy is going now.

You know, it's, we're going to have some bumps. People, it is what it is. No matter what happens, no matter who, whatever soap opera, be it to the left or the right, whatever you're listening to, we're going to have some bumps. And being able to handle that so important. I, I'm going to throw you for a big open-ended question. But we were just having a dialogue last night. We had a big barrel pick of some really cool.

fancy bourbon at some buddies and just great conversation with some good guys and like yeah probably drank too much bourbon but it's really really good conversation and i'd love to get your thoughts on um where is the future in the next five to ten years um with what's coming with with AI right i mean i we use AI we've spent a lot of money in AI to invest a lot in AI we use a in our business every day everyone is using AI we put 750 70,000 last year on a LOM that's now like not even worthless anymore because of now that

it's moving so quickly. We have a couple of things we're working on. I think it's the biggest like, Benchinson's like the wheel, right? I think that's how kind of big it is. And I think you can kind of gather from being a pretty fucking glass half full

optimistic guy and I'm so excited for what it can do and some of the applications we're going for. But there is the part of me. And like, okay, You hear like Elon talking like the drone monster robots to just take over and kill everybody. I think that's not the worry for me. Maybe it's a real concern.

The concern or question that I'm curious about, would we have 320, 350, 360 million people in this country? I think there's a real world where the haves and hafnots and this like this, you know, the separation of this wealth gap. I think there's a, there's a world where we could be India, I think, right? You look at the mass disparity in wealth, just on the jobs. Like, like on, you know, with, with, you know, robots and AI, like, just the amount of work we're starting happening in Tesla with manufacturing and stuff. Like, I just really curious on your thoughts. Again, I'm the most of the class has full guy, but it's just, it's just such a disruptive thing. I mean, it's the wheel.

It's electricity. I mean, it's such just an omnipresent thing that's only going to excel. And I don't think it's going to excel 20 years from now. I think it's the next five to 10. I'd love to get your take on that. Yeah, so I'm not an optimist, nor am I a pessimist. I'm a realist. I'm like, is it, you know, the glass, is it half empty?

It's a glass of water. Get over it. It depends on how fucking thirsty I am. If I'm thirsty, then I need more water. If I'm not thirsty, then it's fine. So I'm very much a realist. And I think one of the things that we go into as you get into this ballgame, you have to talk about, you have to get the soap opera out of the way.

So if you're extremely left-leaning or extremely right-leaning, you need to put that away right now. That's not what we're talking about here. You need to have conversations that are unchangeable. So, for example, geopolitical. If you look at birth rates, the birth rates that are happening right now in China are less than what the Jews had during the Holocaust. Period. And when I talk about birth-rates, if you have two children, your birth rate is two. If you have three children, your birth rate is three.

If I have zero children, when you do the difference between you or, you know, if you had two and I had, you have three, you have three. And if I have none, the answer is 1.5. In order to sustain a species, you have to have a birth rate of at least two to two point two point two to continue to do that. That hasn't been the case in the modern world for 60 years and most of, well, Europe's been 1.8 to 1.6. So no matter what happens, and there's a great guy named Peters Ahana talks about this in detail, if you just look at the data, this is the last decade for China. This is the last decade for Russia. this is the last decade for Germany. This is the last decade for Italy.

It's, it is what it is. Because they stopped banging 40 to 60 years ago, even if we did forced birth camps right now, where basically we forced women to have babies, you're still looking at 20 years out. So no matter what happens, we don't have enough people. And when you look at this on this level, yeah. So when you look at this, like right now,

we get less than 4% of our oil from the Middle East, period. We get less than 4%. We do not have enough people to govern the world the way we used to. Period. So even if we wanted to protect the Middle East, which we don't, there's no benefit for us doing that. We don't have the ability to do it.

It is what it is. So we have to look at practical numbers. When you look at like EVs taking over, and I will get back to your question, when you look at EVs takeover, you need four times the amount of lithium that's ever been mined out of the world in order to make that accomplish. It's not going to happen. We just don't have the science for it right now. So when it comes to AI, we're running into, you know, again, Germany's got the oldest

population it's ever had. China's got the oldest population. It's ever had. Italy's got the oldest population. Russia's got the oldest population. They're aging out. There's nothing you can do. That's going to change that. We've never dealt with this as a species before. This happened because we industrialized. We went from agricultural to industrial. And when you go into industrial in this situation, you don't have those little horrible little brats because they're expensive. You have less of them because you don't need farm workers. And then sooner or later, you're like, we don't want any of them because they're annoying. So we've had that change as you industrialize. But to answer about AI, we started agricultural. That's what we did. And then that revolution came in and we

didn't have to be hunter-gatherers anymore. And that changed. There were jobs that were created that had never been thought before. From there, we went in industrial. And which means bazillions of jobs were wiped out, just completely exterminated on the agricultural side. Then we went, you know, in industrial. And then we had that. Then we had the technology boom. And it was like, oh, my God, text here. It's going to wipe out jobs. And it did. It crushed jobs. When I was in college, the job I had was not the job that they were training me for. So when you come into these things, when you have these era of changes, the technological revolution wiped out industrial-based jobs. Just crushed them.

Look at Amazon. Look what it did to Walmart and Sears and all of that. Crushed them. AI is going to do the same thing. It is going to exterminate walls of jobs and it's going to create walls of other jobs. What do you think? And I guess that's the heartbeat. So that's a fair.

It's fair, right? They have, it's a very good examples with like, especially agricultural revolution and industrial. but I just don't trying to look forward to it though like I could see that right and maybe it's easier to see because it's retrospective like okay that was a pivot and this is a new job creation

but I just don't see with again with the humanoid robots that are coming and AI I don't know what that because what is it it's like compute the machines are doing that work so I don't know the job I mean we're looking at for at a real estate side we're looking at like

you know who any any personality that has like grand bothered in high amounts of voltage and volume. Like that's, those sites are worth a lot of money because, like, that's where it all is data centers in this country, compute, compute, compute. So, like, that's just an asset play.

I don't see the job, the job. Yeah, anything that's content, creative, any of that, it's over. It's absolutely over. And you talked about, you know, five, ten years from now. No. We just ran a bunch of stuff through AI. We had a program that because we were like,

we need to do photo shoots. And one of my says, like, no, we don't. We took photo shoots that I had before. We'd load it in the AI. We're like, well, that just saved me thousands of dollars on photo shoots. We're just going to use those. And they're just better. You know, we have digitized my voice.

So we got a podcast that are automated. It sounds like me talking to someone else. Google does that. So those are being eliminated. Those jobs are being exterminated. But when we go into, so anything creative, it's gone. I think you're blue collar workers. The people who can, you know, fix things and plumbers and build things,

that will come back on a high level because we're going to need that, especially here in the United States, because we've had nine presidential elections that have elected presidents that are more isolationists than the previous ones. They're all just isolationists. We don't care anymore about the rest of the world. So I think where the new jobs will come

that we've never been thought of before, but we're running into problems that we've never had before. So there will be massive new jobs to replace nurses and doctors and all that. But robotics, we're not anywhere near that. If you have any doubt on that, I mean, we're recording this 2020.

I think of this one. Recurrent on this 20-25. Go in to chat GPT and play the game of 20 questions. Which is, if you don't know what the game of 20 questions is to say, hey, I'm thinking of an animal. And it'll say, is it a mammal? And four seconds later, it's going to ask you again, is it a mammal? You're like, oh, my God.

It's just not there yet. Now, in two, three years from there, absolutely. But when we had this fear about technological revolution, look at the people who made all this money on Bitcoin or crypto or trading at home. You did this. You were a trader. If I told you a guy could sit in his PJs, home and do seven, eight figures, if I told you that 20, 30 years ago, you're like,

you're out of your mind. Now that's normal. I'm working on with another guy who's going to come on the podcast. He has a robot that just does a Forex. So for those who is playing at home, for an exchange, you're trading currencies. You're allowed to do it very high leverage. He built a robot. He's getting 6% a week on it. And it's just consistently like clockworked. It's 6.3% on this one. No matter what, he's been doing it for like seven, eight years. And just, It's just rocket firing like crazy. So the idea to be able to make that money and to do those things, if you're walking into it being, okay, I'm afraid of this, then you lose.

It's like those people who don't let their kids get on the internet and don't have tablets. What world are you preparing them for? So I think AI is going to be phenomenal for creating massive amounts of jobs, but it's also going to crush an immense amount of jobs. Yeah. Yeah, we'll see. I mean, I just know, like, you know, you're familiar to Kurtzwell? Right, Kurtzwell?

So it's a good book, old book, what's called The Singularity is Near. And like that's the idea, like the whole idea of like, you know, when man and robot kind of combined in that humanoid type of type of thing. And with these nanobots, and that's the, that's the idea how to live forever. And I think we've got some, you know, we've been, right now we're more divided at least here in the United States than we've been since a civil war. That, no matter what side you're on, as you pull away rights from a person and you take away something that they used to have as a right, which we don't have the bill of rights. We have the Bill of Options or the Bill of Temporary Conveniences.

Because we don't actually have rights. If you don't believe me, go look up 1940s, Japanese containment camp for Japanese Americans. It'll tell you all about your precious bill of rights. We live in a world where we're taking away rights from people. If you agree with them or don't agree with them and you're forcing your belief upon them, those people ultimately revolt. So in order to get to where we want to get to with the humanoid and the singularity and all that, you've got to deal with the fact that 70% of the country's pissed and they're not going to walk away from this and it's going to get nasty.

So you also got, you know, Europe in this situation has a, they're upset with us right now. And as they pull back, how long do you think Germany as we destabilize away from them? How long do you think Germany is going to pay for Greece's debt? You're going to go back to what it was 80, 90, 100 years ago before the World War II. Germany is not going to pay for this stuff for long. So you have a destabilizing of the entire idea. But, you know, kind of going back to more of what we're talking about, how to be successful through failure.

When you, you know, we talked about, you know, as a divorce from the parents, I mean, from your wife, we've talked about the, you know, the loss of, you know, of your dad. What do you do when you have business losses? And what are some of the business losses you've had? Um, I mean, you know, a podcast. Um, all kinds. Um, I mean, I, I, I, I turned down, um, 600 million dollars for, one of my businesses that I was sure I'd get a billion for, ended up getting rated by the FBI, fines by the FDA, and I sold it for $6 million.

So, like, half a billy lost. How do you deal with that? What is the ways that you pushed that? It's a story. I mean, it's part of the journey. Like, I mean, I looked at it, and I would do it again, which is probably fucking why I'm crazy. But at that time, I was making. more money than I could spend.

I have billionaire friends and we weren't living any differently other than I was chartering my jet and he owned his. That was literally the only difference. And, you know, some hillbilly kid from small town of Kentucky, few people get a shot at taking down to Billy, like a few people. So that was me like fuck it. Like what's going to change other than tax bill or whatever? Like what am I going to do?

Like this is my opportunity. Let's go do it. And I just punted and kicked it down. So when all that should happen in the moment, did I feel smart? No, I feel like the biggest idiot ever. But again, if you let time and reflection guide you and know that there is a lesson come, no. I don't know when you're going to learn it, but there's a lesson that's happened and it's going to come to you. So for me, in that instance, it's having confidence to know that like there's, you know, this two will pass.

If it's really, really good, this two will pass. If it was really, really bad, this two will pass. So the lesson on that is that happened. That was an 8500 company, disastrous, whatever. This was right during COVID. I actually got an offer for $12 million, but it would have shut down the company and reload. And I would have cost 120 jobs during a fucking pandemic.

Six million wasn't worth that to me, right? Like I live in this town, no way. That company is still operating and going and just did a massive renovation. So jobs are saved. All is right in the world. Six months before all that happened, we had an idea for another company to look at diagnostics and biological age and what have you. We'd spend a million dollars on equipment.

That's how much cash we had. That equipment had been setting in our warehouse for nine months. I don't know if we ever would have fucking set the equipment up. But after all this stuff, like, okay, well, maybe we should start to look to pivot. That was my seconding, 500. company. And I think, you know, talk about when there's failure, you don't feel very smart. Like, God, I'm an idiot.

There's this big failure. Yeah. I'm curious if you've had the similar experience I've had where there was massive success and you turn around and I'm like, I have no idea how this happened. Because there's deals I've closed where I'm like, I'm not that smart. How is this? So, as you said earlier on it, there's a little bit of luck with this. There's a little bit of luck.

It's just putting out there and swinging. Yeah, there's a ton of luck, but no one's any different than you. Like anyone that you're, I mean, well, maybe Elon. Elon is just, he's next level. He's not from this world. I don't think he's something different. But no one else is any different than you, right? And I think I've been in the rooms.

I've been on the stage. I've been there. I've met them. I've done deals with them. And they're just like you. And they took a shant and they had passion and they wanted to make an impact. And they fucking said no to failure and said, it ain't going to stop me.

They accepted it's part of the process. them, you know, you can fight it, but you're not going to win. Embrace it and make it part of your tool belt. I think the most powerful lesson I learned in business and scaling and being able to survive is you don't matter. And it's nothing personal on anybody out there. I don't matter. No one else matters.

And this happened because there were two guys, they both went to Ivy League schools, brilliant, absolutely brilliant. And they went and they bought this pickling packing company. So they pickled pigs feet and they pickled eggs. And I was like, what the heck? And they bought this company. And it was two guys. And we were, I was 20-something at the time.

Like, I'm in to run the IT division. And I was like, dude, it's one computer. What, you don't need us. He's like, yeah, but we need someone to make sure the computer works. I was like, you make enough money. Set up seven computers. What are you talking about? So I just set up a computer, had a spare one and put everything else in the cloud.

We did all that for him. And I was like, what are you doing here? He's like, well, we bought this company. It was complete caca. It just wasn't doing well. He goes, but we connected and we now distribute our stuff through Costco and all these other places. And I was like, so what's production look like? He was where you have these containers and we drop in pigs feet and we drop in eggs and we fill it

with the fluid. We sealed it up. We leave in the warehouse. And I was like, well, what about your product? It was it pickles. The longer it's in, the better it is. And I was like, son of a God. I was like, do you guys study this or do you all? We just saw the deal. We thought it was easy and we just went for it. And they're multi-millionaires and they ended up selling the company and they made a salute fortune, but they took themselves out of the equation. So I think when you're running into this and you're worried about, how am I going to fail? How am I going to survive? How am I going to rebuild? Take your butt out of the equation. Because if you're not scaling, if you look at the numbers, either in your bank account or on your scale, your actual weight scale, that is a result of your discipline and who you are.

You've chosen to get there. If you are a large individual who eats 700 cakes a day and you're wondering why you can't run a triathlon, ta-da. If you look in the mirror and you're blown away with how you look, that's on you. Same thing with your bank account. Sitting down, we yield to our fear and we yield to comfort. And if you can't push through those, you lose just all day every day. When you're coaching people, and you know, you talked about you've started doing that. What are your normal clients when they come to you and what are some of the questions you ask right off the bed?

So because of health care for whatever reason, I have a lot of doctors that come through because they just, they're good at doctoring but suck at business and they didn't learn that. So that's that's the, that's where it starts. And they all come to me for the wrong problems. And like that's part of it, like getting them direction like, okay, what is it? Because like, why are you, is that really your problem or that what you think the symptom is or kind of going through it? So a lot of it is how to optimize the business and the process where the business runs without you just to what your point is. Like that business is its own entity. And what that allows you to do is get the fuck out of it, right?

Like I do. And like let the system in the process that you, like that kind of run. Then you can be whatever you want. You can do podcasts. You can be more creative. You can go to real estate. You can do other other things. So that's the first piece.

that's sadly it's pretty easy for me but like it's a lot of value for them so I do it after we kind of get that piece or in parallel it's a lot of the internal like self-work I just enjoy that right I enjoy like you know helping people have those breakthroughs way more than business business business is fucking easy and I'm not trying to be no it is you know pass a business business like yeah but like I really love seeing like that that breakthrough like okay now we got that sorted how are you going to do I got you all kinds of the time now. What's your passion? And then you would not imagine most of the time. I have no idea. I don't know. What? Because they've been running away from the wolf for so long. They've been

trying to get away from the lion. And now they're like, what do I don't have to run anymore? Like, that's so. No. You talked about running before, you know, becoming a billionaire, become a man, doing all of that. I remember the day that I first had seven figures in the bank. And I was like, okay, sex wasn't better. Food wasn't better. My car didn't fly. My health didn't radically better. I was like, son of a gun. So it just, it doesn't, all money, money cannot buy happiness. Money buys options and it buys the ability to do what you want when you want. And that will give you parts of happiness, but at the same time, everything changes.

It gives you options is for what I've said to people. Yeah. I had a buddy, we were doing business. This was in, I was in New York City still. And he had a line that the only difference between money and not is where you go, how you get there, and where you stay when you arrive. And that's pretty fucking accurate, right? Are you driving the kids to fucking Florida

in a car going back through where you're taking a PJ to St. Bartz? And then saying at a rent, that's it. Where are you going? And guess what? We've been to St. Barton, all these great places. If you're there on a yacht, there's someone there on a fucking beach and a tent

looking at same fucking stars for one hundred thousandth of a price that you fucking paid. Same stars. Same experience. Same experience. Not the same experience. But I remember I decided I wanted to be wealthy.

When I walked, I was on a plane, I grew up very poor, that I walked on a plane and I didn't know what business class was. And I saw these people sitting in business class. And I'm a decent size guy. So I'm foot just over 200 pounds. And the seats ended basically before my shoulders begin. So if you and I are sitting next to which are on a plane, one of us is leaving off that flight pregnant.

That's just how big. So for me, when I saw business class, I was like, I don't care what it takes. I'm doing that. I don't care how much it costs me. What I need to sacrifice, I am not being jammed up to some complete stranger where him and I are sharing the sweat. It's gross.

So I agree. I also think that money is an amplifier. So again, I don't drink. But if you were a jerk and you started drinking, you're going to be a bigger jerk. If you're a goofball and you start drinking, you're going to be a bigger goofball. Money is the same thing as you go into it.

So what are some of the things you're talking about breakthroughs with your clients? What are some of the breakthroughs that you've had where or one of the processes that you get your clients to have that break through. So, um, first, you got to get them aligned with the realization of like, you know, if working more hours, um, and harder was the answer, you would have already been there, right? Like, and like, they don't see that. Like, so you got to just like, yep, okay, well, cool.

That's not the answer or you wouldn't, you wouldn't be here. Well, I think it's because we're taught that, right? We're taught that from a very begin. Work hard. Work hard. You'll make more money. That then if that was the case in the janitor would be a bazillionaire. So no, that's not the answer.

No, for sure. So usually kind of comes down to trying to diagnose what they perceive their problem is, right, and kind of going through that whole process and like, okay, let's fix that because of the business. But then I really start going to the goals. Like what's important to you. And it's funny that people don't often have that. Like to me, I can tell you, I thought my family, like whatever like my family wants. That's fucking what's important to me. Yeah. And legacy, of course, but like legacy is kind of selfish, but also for my family. So like that's, that's it. And that's a need-jerk answer. But so many people don't really know, like, why am I doing all this? What is that whole purpose? And they feel lost. And they kind of lost their selves and identity in their job, in their career. And like, forget it. Like, think about it. And especially, like, in the doctors that we work with, that's an easy example.

They all, like, they all went through the exact same cycle. Something in them as a young, as a youngster said, hey, they were obviously very smart. But like, hey, I want to help people get better. I don't want to help sick people. That's the basis premise. Like when the kids are playing doctor, like that's the basis premise. They went to school, medical school, all this debt to find out, you don't really fucking help people.

Like it's like, it's like, it's like kind of like. So then they go out like, well, fuck that shit. I don't want to do that. And they go and do 10 years in an ER medicine or whatever they do. And they leave and they get into like concierge medicine and cash. So they've now, they've got halfway there. They're now back and they're rejuvenated because they're happy because they're actually helping people. So they've got that. So they feel purpose. But then after a while, they're like, well, now

I'm just chained to my phone. It's a different thing. Yes, I'm helping people. It's better. But now I'm kind of changed. So they just lose themselves. And then helping them kind of find that, working back through like, okay, you are chained up here. This is your thing. But it does not identify. It doesn't define you. Like, unless you want to leave this forever, like, but that's hard to do with medical practices because usually it's a person. So what is your life after this, right? After you sell it. I can help you sell the thing. I can help you keep it and just have a cash machine.

You don't have to worry about it. What do you do over here? That takes some time. It takes some time for them to really kind of go through and do that and do that work. And they have to do it. You can help them and kind of probe and whatever because like, but everyone else is, you know, what my dreams are are fucking different than your dreams. And they should be.

So I can't project my dreams on you. Like, do this. I can tell you like, hey, I've got similar ideas or similar past. And this is what works for me and sharing those experiences. But yeah, just getting them to kind of dig in. But it's tough because you got to build rapport. So like the business thing helps me because like, okay, maybe I'm smart. I've got CV successful.

Solve a business problem. Like, fuck. I didn't think that would work. That gives me a lot of authority when they see that. Like, okay, cool. You want to fucking fix you now? Right. And like that's the fun part.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say most people have no idea who they are. And they don't, you know, there's this great line from the movie The Fight Club. It says you're not your fucking khakis. So they don't know who you are. And then I've had, I've worked with a lot of doctors

and they're like, hey, you know, I want to heal sick people. I want to do this thing? I'm like, cool, do you want to do that every single day of your life? They're like, no. I was like, okay, you've just put yourself

in a situation where that's your reality. And I think having residual income, having success, picking yourself up from those failures is realizing that there's a bunch of people who are doing seven figures a year who are miserable. Because most of the time they show up at least in my world,

entrepreneurs don't have bad days. They have days where they don't have any more days. They're having days where they have a gun on them. and the goal is to help pivot them because there's times where they want to discontinue living. It's the nicest way I can say it. And I'm like, cool, let's do it.

They're like, excuse me? I'm like, 100% let's do it. I'm like, 100% let's do it. This life, you don't like it anymore. Let's get rid of it. And they're like, okay, well, what do I do? I was like, well, first off, do you want to still be married to your husband and her wife.

And they're like, what? I'm like, no, let's really, let's do it. What are we going to do it? What are we doing? Let's get rid of it. Let's only keep what we want with the idea that, in five, six months, what you want is going to change. But you don't know who you are and you don't know what your truth is.

We talk about this all the time. Life is, imagine most people go to a bar and as you can tell I don't drink, they go to the bartender and say, hey, can I have some chocolate milk? And the bartender's like, here's a glass of orange juice. And they're going to have chocolate milk. And they know, here's three gallons of orange juice. Now here, okay, can I have a glass of chocolate milk? Here's 100,000 gallons of orange juice.

That person's never going to be happy because they didn't get their chocolate milk. Most people have no idea what their chocolate milk is. And understanding that what you think you're chocolate milk is. think your chocolate milk is today, once you get it, you're going to want something else later. It's just the nature of the beast. It's part of it. So if you think a successful business or anything, the process of success is failure of, hey, I got this. Cool. This work now. What I'll want next? Because if you took a look at your life and my life right now and you rewinded it 10 years ago and told us what you have right now, 10, 15, 20 years ago, that version was like, oh my God,

you're a complete amazing you made it you're a god how did you do that and then we forget that with here like oh well actually what i really want is this where i really wanted that and then when you finally get off that treadmill of if i get this i will then be happy and so i'm just going to be happy now for a dear friend of mine found out that he's got tbi i which is traumatic brain injury he's a former and he is arguably the happiest individual i know which is wild to me i was like your brain doesn't work it's just wild to me yeah anyway so When you do this and you work, what are some of the first questions you ask a client? When they say, hey, I want to have to be successful.

What are some of the first questions you ask? Successful or just like, for Phil, what do you? So I love that you brought that up. There's, there is. It's way different. That's way different. Let's explain that difference real quick for everybody. Yeah, because like, you know, everyone has this outwardly thing of success as what you just described.

It is, you know, hey, we, you know, got this award. we hit this revenue number. We think that that's what success is. But when you hit the market, you just said 10 years ago and you get there, it's not really that cool. So it, so that's,

so working them through that understanding that like, hey, that just part of the journey and trying to change that look at like, hey, this is truly not a destination. We're not going to end up anywhere. We're just going to keep kind of going and progressing.

That helps reframe their idea of success. And I actually use a very similar thing. Like, hey, five years ago, were you happy? No, but were you happy if you were, so you just kind of work that piece out. The fulfillment piece is what's been a lot of fun because that's a harder question to ask.

And that's when you kind of get into like, well, why did you start doing this, right? What's this? What do you want to do after this? And that's an interesting question because after they always think about it as this future thing that always is kind of pushing out. Why isn't after now, right?

I think why after? Why do we wait? And you just change that contract of how we're kind of built like, oh, I'm going to retire. So I worked at 55. Like, why? Why not? Like, there's a great book that from the mind wrote Bill Perkins, I'll die with zero. And it's literally just about like, you know, give the kids the money now.

Donate the charity now. Like, don't wait, right? If you want to make that amount, you can do it now. So you look at fulfillment and how like the resources, right? Like the money to your point can be used. solely for a fifth month. Like that, that's what,

and then you need to figure out what those times are, are those experiences, are those things, or most of the not, those experiences with the people they love. And then, okay,

then you can start, just go, start, but negative, like, I'm taking my family to Italy next year. I'm sorry, next in May,

so three, two months, something like that. 45 people, it's going to be super expensive. It's my 45th birthday. Um, it's not really weird,

it's a kind of a weird milestone. Like, my parents are getting up there. I mean, you just don't know, like, what's going to happen in five more years, right? So I'm going to have that experience.

Fucking, is it typical? No, but do I give a five. No, I'm going to kind of do it. So getting them to understand what fulfillment is, but then to start receiving it earlier and just starting to take it. And a lot of times it's just giving them permission to take it, giving them, because they already can do it.

They just don't think that it's that right time. And then you just start to change that framework. So I think there's part of that permission is feeling worthy enough, feeling like I'm enough. And, you know, we've gone through, you know, we talked about this before we're on camera. You went through pretty roofs, you know, really intense divorce. How do you sit back and you go, you know what? Not only I get it, I'm learning, I'm healing.

I'm doing the therapy, which, again, if you don't doing therapy, go do therapy now. It's a gift to give yourself. It's so unbelievably important. There's, and if people are like, oh, it's not, it's not manly to go through therapy. I'm like, I can get you responded to the, you know, tier one operators who have been in therapy. These are warriors. They're in therapy, too. So if you don't think you're, it's, oh, I can't do that.

it's not hard. Okay, Princess. Yeah. So, welcome. But when you're going through that, how do you refine your worth to say, you know what, I have failed in business. I have failed with my kids, with my wife, with all that, where you step back and say, you know what, no, I'm going to have a relationship. We're going to work on, which we're going to fight.

Or I'm going to be able to do this and go to Lee. How do you go through that process of regaining your worth? Well, I think you can't change the past. I mean, I've tried. If someone knows, Sally, I'll take suggestions. but you can't undo it. So what we do are these losses and these failures and these mistakes that we make. You know, a lot of times it's, you know, we just dwell in them and we're miserable or whatever.

And I think that's a natural thing. But if you can go and change that to be, okay, use that as a lesson to make sure like, hey, that's not who I want to be. And not over correct, but just make that course correction to kind of go back and like, hey, I want to have that meaning for relationship. I want to be connected. I want to be home for dinner. I want to do those things. Because once you do it, then you just take action and do it and giving yourself that permission to be able to kind of go through. The other piece is like, okay, you go through a nasty divorce.

There's two fucking people in it. And like, it's very easy to put blame. But you, and this is true with life, with business, deals, whatever. It's way easier to get to a result and to a negotiation point and get business or relationships personal when you just put yourself on the other perspective. I know that's not so simple, but just understanding like, just like you said, why am I having this visceral action? Why is this so important to me? What's their side? What's their, what's their truth and understanding?

And then if you can do that, it's selfless and kind of going through it. You can get to a meeting point quite, quite easy. There's a study that, in a study. There's a thing, I don't know, it happens in all law schools. I know what happens at University of Kentucky here. As, I think, second year of law, they do like moot court. and they give the prosecution and defense. It's about oranges, and it's an intellectual property dispute,

and it's about IP violations. Who owns the IP? And they're just fighting over. It can't get to an impasse. And the moot court goes on for, I think, three weeks and basically goes to a judge. They're both kind of fighting out, and the judge renders a result. It's kind of shitty. They both see neither

them get production IP so it's not as a free for all so they actually lost protection against themselves to everyone else. They had notes of like what was important to them inside.

Prosecution had a groundbreaking business idea that can revolutionize food source with orange pulp, right? Defense had a remarkable technology in defense for fuel

with orange peels. Had they talked. There was no dispute. You take the oranges, I'll take the peels. We're fucking golden. Right. And we do that in negotiation. And there was a, I learned negotiation from Harvard. And we talk about, you know, this, we divide the groups up. Group A wants this. Group B wants this. But group A doesn't know what group B wants. Group B doesn't know what A wants. And you have to negotiate with each other. And you do this one-on-ones. And one of the worst things you can do in negotiation is talk. Because the other person has already, all their stuff that they prepared this whole time is

stuck in their head. So not to listen to anything you say at all until they get the crap out of their head. So you walk in and then you're just listening to their pain point. What do they really want? And then just assume, and again, this is the only time I will talk about pronouns. That's when you start using, you don't use you and use we. It's okay, how do we get to pull point? And you, you become the same people on the same team to go after a certain thing. And like, I wrote a book called Without a Plan and like it pisses my staff off. But like what you said is 100% right. I don't go into, I don't prep for meetings. I'm not unprepared, but I don't prep and like, this is how it's going to go because every time it doesn't go that way. Oh, every time. So like,

but it can go better. You're going in for a distribution deal and it can turn into a merger, right? I mean, there's just, but you have to be open to it. And that's it. So I agree, 100% going. Silence is as magical. Then you identify their pain. Let's identify what their pain is, identify what they want. And then in the process of giving them what they want, you get what you want. Happens every single time. But these are techniques and strategies that most people don't know. And they need to sit down and they need to work with someone.

They need to find a coach. They need to find someone that they can strategize with. They need to find someone that they can connect with who's been there. And again, if you're searching for someone as you're going through this, find someone who's proven by having failures. So if people want to track you down, if people want to get a hold of you, what is the best way to do that? So I'm Jeremy S. Delk on all socials. at JeremyDuck.com. Check out the book.

It's on Audible and Barnes & Noble, Amazon, wherever you get books. And yeah, reach out. JeremyDug.com. You can go book a discovery call. And you've got a really interesting business idea. You're going through something. You know, if you're just starting out, probably not the guy for you. If everything's going really well, not the guy.

I like the dumpster fires and like shit's fucking falling apart. Like that's that. Like that's fun. I mean, I really appreciate you coming out and being so vulnerable and talking about it because there's a bunch of people who will just show you the shiny stuff and there's not authenticity, but the people are actually proven, the people who actually have done this. We've had our bumps and our bruises.

And I think the biggest takes away are, you know, get your ego out of the way. Get your ego out of the way. Yeah, and just keep fighting the fight and getting back up. That's right. I mean, I really appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. Success isn't about avoiding the thought.

It's about how fast you get back up. Every setback is data. Every failure is fuel. And every loss is a lesson waiting to be learned.